#recollection tag

[cowardlybean]

This is the journal of missing 31 year old Reigen Arataka, distributed with permission from friends and family. The version presented in this document has been kindly edited with added commentary by a loyal customer of his. -Editor’s Note

hey guys check out my weird ass fic :3c

[deanmarywinchester]

hobbies include: close reading the Redwall series to answer my most burning questions. such as:

- can I replicate any of these delicious-sounding foodstuffs and would they in fact be delicious if I was able to

- corollary to the above: are we just supposed to read “oat cream” and “nut cheese” every time we see the words “cream” and “cheese”? I think so. bc if not, what tha hell are their livestock animals

- what is Society like? I don’t think we ever see a Mouse City or even Mouse Town though we do see castles and obviously an abbey. are we supposed to believe that most creatures are either in wandering bands or these societies based around a single structure (castle/abbey?)

- they appear to have an idea of what currency is (the bad guys always want treasure — maybe just to have, not to sell? but less ambiguous is some dialogue I just read, “acorn for your thoughts?” “you can have them for free”) but again, we never see anyone using money or making goods for the market. is this after the fall of Mouse Capitalism? are the bad guys (the idea of rat pirates gives me a headache, vis a vis the political/economic systems needed to power piracy) raiding preindustrial mouse societies for treasure/meat?

- corollary to the above: the abbey creatures have oats and wheat but we don’t see anybody farming or trading for farm goods on a large enough scale. is the abbey “orchard” really a like an indigenous forest farm of mixed foodstuffs? is that possible if you live in the same place the whole year or only if you travel each season? I have to do some googling

- both the lack of mixed-species families and the idea of mixed-species families give me a headache. has a squirrel never fallen for a handsome otter? what is the culture shock like if you marry into a subterranean mole family?

- this is the least “important” question but this read through I’ve been desperately trying to figure out What Size Everything Else Is. i’ve come to the conclusion that everything other than animals are at mouse scale, given that they can make seaworthy vessels their own size (a mouse sized vessel with real-world-sized waves seems impossible) and pick and eat apples and plums. but so far it seems like they’ve avoided mentioning how tall trees are — like a person compared to a tree or a mouse compared to a tree?

[bacchuschucklefuck]

class swap design masterpost for convenience (from top to bottom: bard!riz, cleric!gorgug, sorcerer!kristen, barbarian!fig, artificer!adaine, and rogue!fabian)

[valtsv]

one bright spot of hope in my miserable life is that ever since i started taking my current antidepressants my memory loss has definitely improved

[kirby-the-gorb]

[eod-agent-13-12]

Hele, Guerilla Songs, and Nap Time

Florian falls asleep to a lullaby while in Reginald's arms.

Content Warnings: Death, Childhood Memories, Crying, Emotional Breakdown, Poisoning, blood and injury, Impermanent death (it's Agent Phoenix death time loop, after all.)

For @tillywunderwing. (Tilly, you asked for this, hope it makes you bawl. >:3 Please blame her for this idea. /j /silly)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Agent?" Reginald looked around the medical facility when he noticed that his agent was not in their ward. They had been grumbling about the fact they only passed out after forgetting to sleep for a few days straight. 'It wasn't a big deal,' they say.

He walked around, asking any nearby nurses and other agents. They all pointed towards a certain room deeper inside.

Dozens of files and mission details swapped in the handler breakroom returned to him, followed by a heavy dread. His footsteps soon hastened, trying to get there on time.

The Head Support Agent stopped at the doorway, listening to his agent sing a lullaby as they held the hand of the dying agent, a product of a well timed poison on Zoraxis' part. It was too late for any antidote or any other solution.

Agent Phoenix held the agent's hand as they gently sang a song he never recognized. Their eyes glimmered as they tried to hold back the tears while they sang.

"Ako'y paalam, na, oh Nanay ko! Ako'y lalayo na sa piling mo. Yaman din, yan' ay tungkulin ko'. Ang maglingkod at magtanggol sa bayan ko." *

He stood there, listening to his agent sing the rest with solemnity that contrasted their usual grin they wear whenever they best Zoraxis in their plans.

This wasn't his usual Phoenix, not the singing and crying agent. They should be signing and smiling, not this.

They lingered, watching as Dr. Marcel provided the time of death. His eyes begging Reginald to help take his agent away from this.

"... Agent... You... did what you could." He practically dragged them out, pulling them as their numbed movements tugged at his heart with the weight of their body.

"... If only I did my mission faster. Maybe... Maybe I could've..." The squeaks in their voice reminded him of the few times he'd blamed himself for how other's missions turned out.

But he knows it'll only destroy them to think like that. It wouldn't help.

Brown eyes stared back at him, light soon shimmering to the bits of grey in them as they held back the sobs. "... I'm not strong enough to save everyone. I'm sorry."

He carefully tucked away the brown fringes that tangled up in front of their face.

"It's not your responsibility to do so... Florian." He looked upon their eyes, trying to pull them outside of that spiral before they could even be lost in the guilt that shouldn't belong to them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Pa, I can't sleep." Florian looked at the older man in the middle of the night, dragging a comically long looking pillow compared to their tiny height. "... I had a nightmare."

"A nightmare? About what?" He set down the letter he was reading, turning towards his child before opening his arms as invitation. "Did something scare you?"

"Mhm. The field trip. The bomb shelter passageway thingy. The darkness... It looked like it would swallow me whole!"

He chuckled, silver eyes meeting his child's brown. "Maybe it's meant to be like that, firelight. Maybe they're trying to hide what is precious so they're trying to scare the bad guys off, you know?" His hand gingerly carded their hair away from their face.

"Really?" They soon sat beside him, slowly increasing his heart rate as they sat on the arm rest and rested their head on his chest.

"Yeah. Sometimes, you need to look a little deeper to know what exactly is going on."

"... Can you tell me a story?"

"I can do something better. It's... an old song I heard from a... friend." He wrapped an arm around them, making sure they wouldn't fall off as soon as slumber returns to them.

Peaceful rest returns to the child as the old melody returns, along with memories of those who had moved on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Reginald, listen to me. This is not your fault. You hear me? Don't... Don't get in there. I know you were really planning to go to that underwater lab." Dr. Prism looked at the screen, then towards him with certainty.

"But they... they need back up. Well, the evac team will come get them but-Agent!"

"I'm alright. I'll be fine. Just... Shhh... I'll be fine." Phoenix's microphone hissed as they applied pressure on the cut created by the poison tipped arrow from the bear archer.

"Phoenix!" Roxana yelled, looking at the screen feed of them still grabbing wires.

"The cut wasn't that deep. Please tell me they can get there in less than an hour." They kept an even tone, eyes slowly flashing darkness as they unleashed sparks in Zor's latest schemes.

"We'll try, Agent. Please hang on. And... great work for getting that contraption shelved for the next few weeks-look out!"

Agent Phoenix rolled away from the collapsing component, which they have dodged easily, clearly not dying from it the first few times.

"Well, Agent. I'll see if we can get there much faster than normal."

"... That would be greatly appreciated. I'll try my best to get to a place where you can land quickly." Their fingertips felt cold, cheeks slowly regaining color as they caught their breath.

They fought the urge to sigh when they heard him disconnect the headset.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"... Pa, is everyone arguing again?" Florian laid their head on their father's lap as they felt him stroking their hair gently.

"That's why I told you to sleep. Now, you're hearing the adults argue about things. Why didn't you sleep with your cousins and siblings, hm?"

"... Ate was pinning me under her arm." They pouted, trying to fight off the sleepiness taking over. "I couldn't move."

"You need to grow up one day. But... I suppose today is not that day."

"... I can't sleep."

"Is it the passageway nightmare again?"

They shook their head. "No. I just find it hard to sleep in places I'm not used to."

He chuckled, looking at his child who was valiantly fighting off sleep on his lap as they stared at him with tears.

There was little debate on what he needed to do to let this visit just a bit more bearable.

"Di mo rin kaya, bayan, nalalaman? Sugat ng puso, buhat ng sumuko Asaha pa rin, di kita pababayaan Ay! Kahit ako'y sumapit sa kabilang buhay"**

He patted their head as he placed it on his lap, hand on their pulse as he counted slowly. He ignored how cold their fingertips were getting when he removed their gloves so he can feel their life slipping away.

"Ako'y paalam, na, oh Nanay ko! Ako'y lalayo na sa piling mo Yaman din, yan' ay tungkulin ko' Ang maglingkod at magtanggol sa bayan ko"*

Reginald choked as he got to the part he reached in that hospital ward, trying to match the way their eyes barely watered as they lulled their fellow agent to the next life.

Just like he was.

"Di mo rin kaya, bayan nalalaman? Sugat ng puso, buhat ng sumuko Asaha pa rin, di kita pababayaan Ay! Kahit ako'y sumapit sa kabilang buhay."**

Agent Phoenix curled slightly under his touch, trying to burrow into him, clearly dazed from the warm fuzzy feeling.

They were hearing a lullaby after a nightmare, after waking up in the middle of the night in response to something heavy.

Nothing was pinning them this time, only their own chest tightening as the poison slowly shut down their body.

They're not there, they're curling up in their pa's lap, enjoying the feeling of returning to their childhood, of not minding any of the silly things adults argue about.

"Kaya't ang bilin ko ay ganito: Huwag nang babanggitin ang ngalan ko At kung ako'y di na makarating Ang bangkay ko Sa bundok mo hahanapin"***

He really wanted to not sing that part. But... they did. It wouldn't do right if he skipped out in the end. He had to be there for them.

Would they want to be forgotten? Only talked about by whispers? Or would they want him to keep talking about them?

Reginald held their hand as he watched the light fade from their eyes. They clung to him like a child trying to fight sleep but also falling for the warmth he provided.

He looked at Dr. Marcel, his turquoise eyes turning away as the doctor declared the time of death. Their time of death.

When Phoenix opened their eyes and met with darkness, tears slowly started to form as they covered their mouth.

They had been dealing with that stupid bear archer for several runs already. But it was never this bad.

Their mind tried to recall the facts but their body yelled profanities at being ripped away from safety. From childhood. From not being killed every other mission or so.

The reality hit them, hitting them over the head. They weren't a kid anymore, no longer snuggling for warmth. Adulthood, especially whst was born from the path of a secret agent, had traded the warmth of cuddles with the covering of a blanket. It just wasn't the same.

But the world waits for no one. They'll need to wipe their tears and just... try to move on like nothing like this ever happened.

Because, in the eyes of the world, it didn't.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The title of the song is "Paalam na, Oh Nanay ko" (Farewell, oh my mother), a song sung by Filipino guerilla fighters during WWII. (Last I checked.)

Here's the (my very rough) translation:

*I'll bid farewell now, o my mother I'll be going far from your arms It's my duty and responsibility To serve and protect my country

**Wouldn't you know, my country? The pain of the heart when you surrendered But keep believing that I won't abandon you Ay! Even if I go to the next life

***That's why for my last request: Never mention my name again And if I never return My remains You will find on that mountain

Additional note: Florian absolutely cried about this after they got home from the debrief. And probably went to their siblings (fellow Phoenixes) and just cried. That death was rough on them.

Tag List:

@phoenix-and-found-family, @the-one-and-only-043, @agentwraith, @jellyfishgummy

@agent--shadow, @blueorchid-95, @silverdragon889, @stellar-collective

@juniperfan16, @warden-draws-sometimes, @definitelyunhingedagentphoenix, @dandorime

[fatedroses]

He laid at the brink of death once more, staring at the face of despair. He remembered the path that led him to this purgatory, and with a smile could only ask:

"Shall we be friends?"

[dracanboys]

More of this. + nnotes on the normalest boy

[songofsaraneth]

Rules: Without naming them, post a gif from ten of your favourite films, then tag ten people to do the same!

tagged by @princefitzchivalryfarseer @serbarris and @baejax-the-great thank you!! not in any particular order here's mine :)

I don't remember who's already done this one (though I think, most everyone lmao) so ignore if this is a repeat but taggingggg @alimsurana @ephemeral-gremlin @d--t @hawkingeloise @sageadvice @hellionil @corvus-frugilegus @gryfowl @thebookworm0001 @songofamazon and anyone else who'd like to!

[mishy-mashy]

THE CONTRAST OF THE ONLY TIMES WE EVER SEE BRUCE SMILING????

[cowardlybean]

Hi this is MalkyTop from ao3 I know I just wrote a long-ass comment on recollections and I sorta feel weird adding more to it there so I’m sending an ask instead, because! I am shaking the bars of my cell anyways since now im convinced that the stuff with reigen is heavily connected to Mogami I wonder if mogami’s “return” (chapter 2) is related to a certain evil spirit showing up at the office? After all they have previous history and dimple had just shown up. Anyways I am gnawing on this I love puzzling things out I want to get a good grade in recollections.

HELLO FIRST OFF I JUST WANNA SAY TYSM FOR BEING INTERESTED IN MY STORY!!!!! IT MAKES ME SO MUCH MORE EXCITED TO KEEP WORKING ON IT!!!!!!!!!

Mogami definitely plays a role in this story (if it wasn’t already obvious) though most of that role is gonna be shown in the next section! Not just through Reigen’s journaling either :3 I will say though! The author of the secret link is a canon character from Mob Psycho, so keep that in mind >:3c

APART FROM THAT I cant say much for the sake of not spoiling but about the plant spirit from S2 EP1 this is so embarrassing to admit but I did. Kinda rush that entry </3 To Reigen it was hardly any special exorcism apart from Mob learning something new, but to my readers the broccoli seeds are what is important! IM HEAVILY RESTRAINING FROM GIVING A HINT HERE ACK

but anyway thank you so much for theorizing and having fun with my fic!!! It makes it so much more fun to write :D

Read Recollection Here!

[meirimerens]

hey sending you another ask since i was apparently eaten in the womb (your inbox), i just made a new post relaying dybowski's abuses with updated info from former HSE students/IPL members I've been working with and they hope it gains traction, you can share it if you're interested (warning, it's a lot of text) thanks for all the support!!

you were indeed eaten in the womb of my inbox i was checking in emails to see if the asks had showed up and i was about to screenshot yours and reply like that when you sent this one ^ so. perfect timing. mr electric and so on

[ultfashionista]

𝗮𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗱𝗲: 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 + 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗱𝗶𝘁𝘀

[rathologic]

Pleasantly surprised to see so many katerinaheads here... we've got to do some kind of event about her

[sketchehm]

Thinking about how Minecraft NPCs are technically immortal (though not invincible) so Milo and Naomi would still be alive post time skip.. after all this time they love Sapnap so bad and they were like the only thing Sapnap had from team mafia after their deaths. team mafia teasing Sapnap and being like when you were 5 you legitimately had a phase where you thought you were a pet but Sapnap’s forgot since then and it’s :( because he was young so he remembered how he felt but not very much the details? and that feeds into the disconnect that he feels with them. Oh I made this sad

I DIDNT EVEN THINK OF THIS

FUCK.

Once baby sapnap realizes he can't go back to the base anymore, it's him bothering every nutria he can find to take him back. And they all refuse. And he doesn't know why!!! 'It's too dangerous', but it's never dangerous there! (His dads made sure it was never dangerous)

And he's causing tantrums and crying that he needs to go! It's important!!! It won't be until sylvee gets through to him and asks what does he need from there? And he's bawling, barely managing to get out "g-ga-gati-tos..." Oh!

It's nutria 23 with his helicopter and peele accompanying, the two trying to wrangle two Very skittish cats into the very loud helicopter (it was NOT easy), peele looking around the base and feeling. Sad. They know they shouldn't be feeling such things as a robot but. They can't help it. But there's a mission to be completed now!

And the baby is in his new (empty, cold) room in the mountain. Sniffling. He wants milo and naiomi....Shadouni said to take good care and he hasn't...he's been a bad older brother to them :(

It's not until he hears Juan screaming and Peele also yelling, the baby sliding off his bed, poking his head out of his room and seeing two cats chase a running Juan, screaming to get the cats to stop!! He's not food!!! Don't kill him PLEASE!!!

Sapnap! Is so happy!! He's running out his room and scooping up the cats(juan: ay madre mia por fin), one in each arm, so so happy!!! (The cats are struggling to get out of his 7yr old grip lmao)

It's. All he really has left of them. As years go past and he's growing up, all he can recall is Shadoune telling him to take care of them. He can't even remember the exact memory anymore, he just knows it was Shadoune who told him. And when Eon says he should server hop to explore and get out of this forsaken world for a little bit (go grow and learn, we'll still be here), he trusts Eon and the nutrias to take of them for a while!

And once he's grown. And his dads are back. Seeing Shadounes face when he's reunited with the cats. He laughs a bit saying he's suprised Sapnap hadn't managed to kill them by accident (hey!!).

It leads to the guys reminiscing, laughing about old memories. Telling sapnap about how he thought he was a pet. How shadoune had to convince him he's their older brother so he'd take care of them and to stop throwing them out of the base. The rest of the guys laughing and bringing up moments when baby sapnap himself would answer he was their pet. It's a fun time!

For them.

Because Sapnap. Can't recall any of it. He's having. A sudden realization, he can't recall much of when they were all together. It's. Scary. He laughs along though, more out of shock he did those kinds of things and a "I can't believe you guys let that happen haha" kind of way.

And when the guys keep bringing up old memories, find Sapnap's old baby armor. Sapnap will be looking at them like he's never seen them before. Surely he'd remember something like that. It's the guys making inside jokes about Sapnap that he should know, he should. And he won't laugh, confused.

And the others, will look at each other, also confused. They'll bring up his apple slices or the way he used to beg for deditas. Nothing.

And Sapnap feels. Distant from them. Like they're talking about a whole other person. The other guys too will notice, that this grown person isn't the baby they know. The baby in their minds, they had left to go on a mission that would only last a day. But almost 15 years passed by instead. It's. Too jarring.

But Sapnap keeps trying. Going through old photo albums he has access to now, something he never had before (forbidden from leaving the mountain because of the danger). He's trying to recall he is. He remembers nightmares. Of them leaving. That day of them saying goodbye and never coming back. He remembers crying a lot.

He remembers when he was gifted his stuffed rabbit. And he remembers growing up with the nutrias and being told to server hop and all his memories from after that.

He just can't really remember them. But. He remembers feelings. Of being safe with them. Feelings of admiration for Farfa and feelings of comfort from Serpias and Shadoune. Just Knowing Conter was the one to help him with nightmares the most. Just knowing to give Goncho extra apples when he goes out. Just knowing Spreen was always a little annoyed with him.

He remembers their love for him. But he doesn't know if that is enough for them anymore.

[sforzesco]

Does Rome ever get rid of Sulla's ghost ?

tbh I don't think rome ever really gets rid of anyone's ghost. the whole concept of rome is one giant grave piled on top of another grave. sometimes people are dead before they've actually died.