#reason i didnt post it was gosh i dont want this post to get too long

[quodekash]

good morning, friends! im exhausted and only got like four hours of sleep, but at least im (kind of) mentally prepared to revisit the episode, so (you probably know the drill by now), here’s all my commentary and thoughts and stuff from the episode! 

i feel like its important for everyone to know that i made myself an ice tea at 11:30pm because i knew i wouldnt be able to survive the episode alone 

(and dont suggest that the ice tea is the cause of the lack of sleep, if anything it’s the only reason i got to sleep) 

i was very nervous in the beginning cos i was pretty sure photjanee wouldnt be homophobic but also what if she is 

props to her for not asking tinn cos he was visibly nervous/afraid 

and gun told gim and she didnt even say anything at first. she just looked so freaking proud, then hugged him and said “whoever you love, i love” and i love her so much she’s a freaking perfect mother 

PHOTJANEE’S NEURODIVERGENT AND AWESOME HUSBAND who is still nameless IS SITTING NEXT TO HER SO HE’S GONNA SAY SOME HELPFUL AND SUPPORTIVE WORDS 

“were you afraid to hear the answer” im sensing a recurring themeeee (if youve forgotten and somehow havent rewatched the show over and over again, in episode 6 gun kept saying he was afraid to hear the answer of who tinn liked) 

“i think if he’s ready, he’ll tell you himself. give it time. time for tinn and yourself.” I LOVE THIS MAN 

also side note: she’s really pretty 

i smell a sponsorship 

a canon printer sponsorship 

theyre so subtle with their sponsorships 

“by the way, this printer is so convenient, it can be used with any operating system, right?” NICE ONE GEM, REAL SUBTLE, NO ONE WILL KNOW 

TIWPOR TINNGUN DOUBLE DATE STUDY DATE ONCE AGAIN 

AND SOUNDWIN BEHIND THEM (and also yo and pat i guess) 

tinngun are always reminiscent of patpran, but so much throughout this episode it literally felt like i was watching bad buddy 

GUN FINALLY KNOWS THAT TIW KNOWS AND GUN IS LIKE ‘wait did you tell him’ AND TIW JUST GOES 

“do you think this nerd would succeed in getting your love without my help”

AND HE’S SO ICONIC AND HE’S SO RIGHT AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OH MY GOSH 

also rip four and tinn’s homosecuality, they have to pretend to date for this music video 

also also WE GET TO SEE FOUR AND HER GIRLFRIEND AGAIN OMG I LOVE THEM 

THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY 

LOOK AT THEM AND THEIR IN-LOVE-NESS 

cant wait for the homophobia this episode /sarc

“we just have to wait until the dinosaurs are extinct and humans rule the world” TIW LITERALLY JUST SAID WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR ALL THE BOOMERS TO DIE OUT AND THEN GAYS CAN RULE THE WORLD THIS IS FREAKING HILARIOUS 

I CANT EXPLAIN IT, THEIR FACES ARE SO REMINISCENT OF PATPRAN AND MORE SO THAN USUAL 

does- does this count as a first kiss 

that was so sudden 

um

help??? 

theyre so cute tho i love them 

PROM DAY (looking back, how does so much happen in this one day) 

✨gotta love being outed✨

GUN JUST TOLD THE BROSKIS 

and por is, naturally, very excited 

but also somehow very oblivious 

i had a feeling yo knew already 

apparently sound told win ages ago (when? idk man) 

pat having a suspicion about it is actually very surprising 

“you and you, what’s going on? you’ve been weird” 

FINALLY THE SCENE OF THEM HOLDING HANDS AND SHOWING THE GUYS IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR WAY TOO FREAKING LONG 

AND THEY BOTH LOOK SO FREAKING HAPPY 

IM DYING 

i need to ingrain every soundwin scene from this episode into my brain cos there’s so much of it and i want to see it all forever please 

tis raining and theyre under an umbrella and soundwin did it first 

okay so. it sucks that they were outed. and people shouldnt take photos of other people and then post it on social media because they can, cos thats an invasion of privacy and is not cool. 

on the other hand, everyone seems thrilled by it and tinngun aren’t hurt by it happening so i guess its okay 

in general tho people should not do this cos it could go very badly 

but this is a bl drama not real life so its fine 

I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE A NEUROSPICY GUY 

they did the happy arms 

and theyre sitting cross-legged on top of a table 

i love you random side character 

PAT AND POR BEING ALL HAPPY AND EXCITED IS HILARIOUS I LOVE THEM 

“no one cares about people’s sexual orientation these days. its a new world. right, pumpkin??” GUI4HERIH4IIGU (note to past me: it gets worse. you’re gonna progressively die even more) 

EW PEOPLE ARE MESSAGING PHOTJANEE SAYING TINN’S GONNA RUIN THE SCHOOL’S REPUTATION AND STUFF 

...what series was it 

did- did you watch bad buddy, photjanee 

did tinn’s parents watch bad buddy 

ive decided they watched bad buddy until proven otherwise 

‘its down to us whether we’re as kind to our son as those in the series’ THIS MAN HAS THE WISEST KINDEST WORDS AND I WANT TO GIVE HIM A BIG HUG 

tiw and tinn are actually really sad about kajorn leaving the student council which is slightly confusing (not cos i hate him, im finding it increasingly difficult to hate him, i just didn’t think tiw and tinn actually liked kajorn) 

‘people are arguing whether it���s guntinn or tinngun’ 

... 

im gonna say it 

i have to say it 

you cant stop me from saying it 

soundwin did it first 

(technically it was satangwinny vs winnysatang but thats not the point) 

there i said it 

hah 

babes she’s known for months 

(but yes absolutely if you’re comfortable telling her and you think you should, go right ahead :] )

i hate this teacher 

i would like to punch him please 

luckily i know, thanks to the preview last episode, that he does, in fact, get punched, so it’s all good 

KAJORN IS IN THE ROOM WHILE GUN IS DISTRESSED 

I REPEAT, JORN IS THERE 

yay tinn is there with gun while he cries 

thank you tinn for existing 

NO 

GO AWAY TEACHER 

DON’T ENTER THE ROOM 

"im sorry, i was just joking around with my friend, i didnt mean to insult you" yeah, okay, well thats only part of the problem. other problems are: a. the fact that you had to say such a horrible thing in order to joke around with your friend. if that's the kind of humour your friend has, that person should not be your friend, unless it's also your humour, in whcih case, that isnt a sincere apology. b. it's not just that you insulted gun. you also insulted an entire community of people, of students, of human beings, who just want to exist and live as people doing what they want to do. you cant say something homophobic and then only apologise because it hurt one person close to you. you say something homophobic, and then you apologise - in a way that you GENUINELY MEAN - and say you had no intention of hurting so many people, including gun. or, alternatively, dont say the homophobic thing in the first place. c) you’re a freaking TEACHER. a TEACHER is there to SUPPORT and CARE for ALL of their students. a TEACHER should not be saying terrible things where ANYONE could overhear. if a TEACHER cannot be supportive for ALL STUDENTS, then they should not be a teacher. (im a huge defender of teachers cos theyre human beings with lives and families and hobbies and theyre more than just the adult human that tells you 2 plus 2 is 4. but i am also a huge defender of students cos theyre human beings and also children and theyre still developing. and i am especially a defender of students and an offender of teachers when the teacher clearly hates children or isnt a good teacher or should not at all be a teacher. so this isnt me hating all teachers, i love teachers, i could talk about how unappreciated they are for hours. but i cannot stand it when a teacher behaves the way this teacher did. i hate it so freaking much.) 

THE TEACHER WAS “SHOCKED” COS GUN IS A “ROCKSTAR” SO THE TEACHER “THOUGHT YOU WERE MANLY” 

THATS NOT AN EXPLANATION NOR IS THAT AN APOLOGY 

GENDER AND SEXUAL IDENTITY ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FREAKING THINGS 

AND EVEN THEN, GENDER AND GENDER EXPRESSION ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FREAKING THINGS 

LIKING MEN DOESNT MAKE SOMEONE ANY LESS ‘MANLY’ SO STFU AND GET FIRED ALREADY 

FREAKING YES 

GOOD

HELL YES 

KAJORN PUNCHED THE TEACHER BEFORE TINN COULD 

THIS IS EVERYTHING I COULDVE ASKED FOR OR NEEDED 

I LOVE IT SO MUCH 

I LOVE KAJORN SO MUCH 

IM FINALLY ALLOWED TO NOT HATE HIM AND IM VERY GLAD ABOUT IT 

DAMN SOUND 

I MEAN I AGREE BUT WOW I WASNT EXPECTING THAT 

‘i HoPe YoU giVe A fAiR jUdGeMeNt oN tHiS cAsE’ bro its not court 

and absolutely she’ll give fair judgement 

shes freaking awesome and i love her 

also what does probation mean 

“don’t use violence to solve problems. do you understand?” okay, yes, im 100% on board with you, i completely agree, but, hear me out here: homophobia. 

I LOVE PHOTJANEE SO MUCH 

COLD AS ICE SHE GOES “if you’re not satisfied with my judgement, write a complaint. but dont forget to add every detail truthfully” 

SHE’S SO ICONIC 

TRULY A SLAY 

“LET GO OF MY SON. as principal, all i can do is submit a report regarding your behavior to those in authority. but as a mom, MY SON CAN LIKE WHOEVER HE LIKES. STAY OUT OF IT. if i hear anything filthy from you again, your penalty will go far beyond this” I FELT HER ANGER 

I LOVE HER WITH ALL MY SOUL 

SHES FREAKING AWESOME 

and kajorn looks so happy and content 

i love him 

PROM TIME AND THE STIMS ARE STIMMING REAL HARD RN 

WHY AM I CRYING WHILE LISTENING TO YOU’VE GOT MA BACK? THIS ISN’T A SAD SONG 

C O M E   C L O S E R 

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH POR 

OOOOO NEW SONG 

SOUNDWIN CHEEK KISS 

IM LITERALLY CRYING THEYRE SO CUTE 

(note to past me: it’s gonna get worse) 

aww gun’s in the audience singing directly to tinn this is so cute 

GRBRHKBGRIUBJROBUR

I WOULDVE BEEN CONTENT WITH JUST SOUND KISSING WIN BUT IM NOT COMPLAINING 

I AM THE OPPOSITE OF COMPLAINING 

GIREBVIRUB

TINN AND GUN ARE GOING ON THE STAGE TOGETHER HAND IN HAND 

HOW IS THIS SO FREAKING PERFECT 

AND SOUND’S GOT A GUITAR SOLO COS HE’S AWESOME LIKE THAT 

HAPPINESS 

BIG HAPPIES 

MUCH OF THE VERY HAPPINESS 

their hugs always look so comfy 

someone in the audience asked if theyre real and gun said nothing but hashtag #MySchoolPresident and it’s still so funny to me 

its like theyre telling us the watchers 

like USE TEH HASHTAG, PLEASE 

and we’re like WEVE ALREADY BEEN DOING THAT, CALM DOWN 

ew old teachers 

shut up with your judgy faces 

no one cares 

YAY FOR YOUNG PROGRESSIVE TEACHERS WHO DONT CARE WHAT THE BOOMERS THINK 

cos, as tiw said, the boomers will die out soon and then gays can rule the world 

can the episode just end here 

i dont want to go through the emotional turmoil of whats coming 

cos i know its coming 

there’s gonna be a graduation scene 

and im very scared 

my mentally ill butt can never be okay for graduation scenes 

and yet my mentally ill butt keeps consuming media set in the senior year of high school 

DAMN THIS ENDING IS GONNA BE LONG 

31:48 MINUTES 

STRAP IN YOUR SEATBELTS COS WE’RE GONNA BE IN FOR ONE EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER 

NO 

WAIT NO LET THERE BE MORE 

JUST ONE MORE 

OR TWO 

OR AN ENDLESS AMOUNT 

DON’T LET IT BE OVER 

PLEASE 

“its the last day of our high school lives.” ACK SHOOT FREAK FRENCH GUSTAV AND SHOELACES AND TURTLES AND FREAKING SHOOT NOODLES WHAT THE FLIP 

AH SHOOT I FORGOT ABOUT KAJORN BEING A YEAR YOUNGER THAN THEM 

HE HAS TO CARRY ON THEIR LEGACY WITHOUT THEM 

HES FREAKING ALONE 

IDEK IF HE HAS ANY FRIENDS 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ooo we’re gonna get another pool scene soon 

NO STOP IT WITH THE SIGNED SHIRTS I CANT TAKE IT 

‘no one ever asks if i can sign their shirts :[’ ‘sign my shirt’ 

‘ILL WRITE DOWN WHAT I FEEL THAT IM TOO AFRAID TO SAY’ I FREAKING LOVE THEM 

WAIT 

SHOOT

I KNOW I ASKED FOR IT BUT I DIDNT EXPECT THEM TO ACTUALLY DO IT 

IM IN SHOCK 

LITERALLY CRYING 

WHAT THE FLIP 

HOLY FREAK 

NO WAY 

THIS IS THE END 

THAT’S IT

IM DEAD

GONE

DECEASED

THEY FREAKING KISSED 

RIGHT THEN AND THERE 

PROPERLY KISSING 

BEFORE TINNGUN 

WHAT 

IS THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENING 

OW I PINCHED MYSELF 

I LITERALLY CANT BELIEVE IT 

“i wont let you kiss first you barstool” HOW ARE THEY SO- GJRBGIKRB

BUT ONCE ISNT ENOUGH 

OH NO, THEY HAVE TO KISS AGAIN 

JUST TO MAKE SURE IM DEAD 

THEY ALREADY STABBED ME A COUPLE TIMES 

THEN THEY KISSED AND THEY SLICED ME IN HALF WITH A REALLY COOL SWORD 

AND NOW THEYRE SLICING MY HEAD OFF JUST TO MAKE SURE IM DEAD 

‘STOP TRYING TO LOOK HANDSOME IDIOT BECAUSE ITS MAKING MY HEART SO WEAK’ I CANT WITH THESE TWO 

I LITERALLY CANT EVEN PROCESS THAT THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED 

SURELY IM DREAMING RIGHT NOW

THERES NO WAY THEY ACTUALLY FREAKING KISSED 

AND TIWPOR RIGHT AFTER??? IT’S TOO MUCH POWER 

AWWWWWW NOOK AND YOOOO

BUT POOR PAT IS COMPLETELY LONELY 

PLS LET PAT NOT BE LONELY FOREVER 

THEY BETTER GIVE PAT SOME HAPPINESS 

NO?? THEYRE JUST GONNA CHANGE THE SCENE LIKE THAT??? OKAY THEN???????? 

no but why wasnt tiwporpat an option 

they couldve gone down the polyamory route 

as much as i love poking fun at pat being lonely, i want him to be happy, and tiwporpat makes sense 

(i must also say that patjorn also makes sense and i wouldnt have been mad if they went down the tiwporpat route or the patjorn route. theyre both amazing. but no, they went with pat is lonely forever and its really freaking sad. thanks guys.) 

OH TINNGUN POOL SCENE 

POOL SCENE NUMBER... IDEK AT THIS POINT 

they should kiss btw 

GUN WROTE #MYSCHOOLPRESIDENT ON TINN’S SHIRT AND TINN WROTE ‘APPROVED BY THE SCHOOL PRESIDENT’ ON GUN’S SHIRT AND ITS SO FREAKING PERFECT 

IT COMES FULL CIRCLE SO BEAUTIFULLY 

THEY LITERALLY COULDNT HAVE WRITTEN ANYTHING GREATER 

I FREAKING LOVE THIS SHOW 

tinngun still have not kissed 

NO PLS I CANT TAKE IT WITH THE HEARTFELT SPEECHES 

HOW DO YOU CRY SILENTLY 

NO THEYRE PLAYING ONE LAST SONG TOGETHER 

STUFF YOU 

I LITERALLY DONT KNOW IF IVE EVER CRIED HARDER THAN I DID WHILE WATCHING THAT FREAKING FINAL SONG 

tinn’s father is so neurodivergent i love him 

OMG GUN IS ACTUALLY SITTING AT THEIR TABLE AND HAVING A MEAL WITH THEM 

IT’S NOT IMAGINARY GUN 

IT’S REAL GUN 

THIS IS CRAZY 

PFFFFFFT TINN’S DAD HELPED HIM WRITE THE SONG FOR GUN 

THAT’S FREAKING HILARIOUS 

OH MY GOSH THEYRE ABOUT TO KISS- 

darn you gun and your bloody hand in the way 

too many times 

this has happened far too many times 

just kiss 

please

YES 

GOOD 

EXCELLENT 

but also soundwin did it first 

ANYWAY THAT WAS PERFECT 

OH MY GOSH 

IM NOT OKAY 

(the funniest thing about me constantly saying ‘im dying’ or ‘im dead’ is that my fitbit hasnt been able to pick up on my heartrate for literally hours. like, since i started watching the episode. it just stopped working. and if your heart isnt beating, you’re quite literally dead.) 

final thoughts / main takeaways from that episode (and therefore the whole show) 

tinngun are very cute 

tinngun are patpran variants (we already knew this but still) 

tiwpor havent been dating the whole time but there was definite crushing for a very long time 

pat is sad and lonely and pls let there be tiwporpat or patjorn at some point in the future 

we need a sequel please and thank you 

soundwin are freaking perfect 

this show is perfection 

im mentally ill 

that teacher sucks 

tinn’s dad is neurodivergent and i love him 

photjanee is amazing and awesome and i love her 

gim is the greatest mother and i love her 

i love all of these characters way too much  and, last but not least, 

soundwin did it first. 

[jackienautism]

The most horrifying thing in the Quarry to me, aside from the Hackett family ignoring Kaylee and Caleb’s trauma, is the fact that a child of unspecified age was forced to survive in the woods for six whole years after getting displaced + having his once safe haven destroyed by strangers who wanted to “save” him then having to not get caught by said strangers’ family who want him dead for something he has no control over only to be killed while in a state of dissociation/deep sleep. Like, it’s not even mentioned explicitly but just…fuck. I’d the hell out of a book like that

you always realize the most fucked up things about this godforsaken game dfgkjdg still reeling over your most recent post btw i just want them all to be happy is that too much to ask

before i add anything on i just want to say even though ive said it plenty of times before: fuck the hacketts. like for real. kaylee and caleb deserved better

but GOSH i never realized just how fucked that is actually... if only they specified his age, i think that definitely would've made it hit harder yk? bc no matter how "young" it turns out silas is, it's still gonna be way too young to be thrust into his situation. having that like be solidified would've made it that much more. i dont know. real? bc the chances of him being like my age or yours is so.. likely

assuming silas also considered the rest of the harum scarum crew his family, he really like. lost everyone he cared about in one night and that's so so sad. all while he couldnt do ANYTHING consciously about it either. imagine you wake up just to see that everyone you've ever loved is dead and the place you call home is also gone? and, if silas even came to find out what exactly happened that night (which is doubtful? due to his lack of contact with literally anyone), imagine having to come to terms that you're technically the reason all that destruction took place?

long story short. fucking hell jkdfnjs i cant even imagine living on my own in good conditions so how the hell was silas able to do it in the middle of the woods! all while being hunted by these strange people! not only does he have to worry about food and shelter but now also the HACKETTS????? it's so. its not fair man

and the hacketts ARE able to accomplish their goal aftger killing several strangers and getting 9 unsuspecting kids involved and possibly killed. alongside their other family members potentially. what the fuck. if you couldnt tell i hate thisf amily

its nice they talk more about silas and harum scarum in the podcast but like... it being in game / not being extra would've been nice. would've been nicER. actually. since th whole game pretty much revolves around silas so. surprised they didnt talk more about him. actually no im not

[divorcingjimmatthews]

season 2 episode 5 reactions as i watch

huge spoilers obviously

(this is mostly for myself to have somewhere to scream as i go, its LONG AF youve been warned)

RANDALL IS SCARING ME SO MUCH LIKE PLEASE DONT BANG ON STUFF WHAT IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY MAKE THE TALISMAN FALL I AM HAVING A HEART ATTACK WITH THIS SCENE. RANDALL STOP STOP STOP YOURE GOING TO DIE DUDE

(straight up cant watch the rest of the episode because i paused it and cant bring myself to unpause lmaooo. from ends here for me i guess)

ok its over thank god

JADE STOP DRINKING SOMEONE HELP THIS MAN. hes even sleeping with the fucking journal like please he needs 20 interventions

also dammit he actually moved to the bar i accidentally manifested it LMAO

can the show please stop torturing this man with the hallucinations please and thank you

TABITHA IS IN MAMA WOLF MODE LETS GO

boyd defending sara... knowing what happened to his wife and what she did... oh man. this hurts. knowing tabitha also lost a child before turns the intensity of all this to eleven millions

LMAO ok someone calling tabitha out for her basement hole and its consequences at long last. i love tabitha but like it has to be acknowledged

"That part i cant help you with" dang Good Line

honestly cant even imagine how sara is feeling i dont know what id be doing in her situation like just watching it stresses me so much.

ETHAN BABY :'(((( im sobbing

KRISTI IS SO PRETTY oh my god i am so bisexual right now. she cant just do this. the shirtttt. i think im seeing the sweetest and most beautiful woman in the world

dhsjfhsh marielle doing the same thing with the shirt that i had the reader do in my fic i cant even

"For a long time it smelled like you. Now it just smells" i laughed so hard

"Youre still you" 🥺

SARA GIRL WHAT ARE YOU DOING ARE YOU TRYING TO GET K oh yeah wait she probably is

oh its her house ok god i thought she'd gone to the matthews'

NEW HOUSE WHO DIS

cant belive an extra got one of the few houses this is so funny to me for no reason

this scene gosh. ouch. ouch. im taking 2 damage per second watching this episode

JADE. the bottles. jade my beloved this is point of no return level stuff. mrs Liu please come get him home

VICTOR

victoooor

"You dont look good" im losing it

thank you victor

victor 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i love him. the sweetest

JADE IM GOING TO STRANGLE YOU DONT BE LIKE THISSS

"WAIT" i fucking cant i love this man

"This took me all fucking night" jade never stop being the funniest mf on the planet please

jim calling tabitha tabby is so sweet it got me

"Faith. In you" oh boy. Oh man. Oh boy oh man. This scene. How is this show hitting every singe fucking note.

donna brought up abby omgomg

OK BUT CAN YOU BLAME HIM FOR WANTING TO FIND AN ALTERNATIVE THIS TIME

(maybe)

(arghhhh this is so hard)

"only monsters live in the woods" ethan i love everything you say. go my boy

(sara voice) okay

"The trees theyre changing" i love how victor is 100% harmless but could NOT be any more ominous lmaooo

CAR GRAVEYARD

"When i was alone i moved the cars because i didnt want to see them. Theres a lot more behind the rocks but those were already here" GODDAMMIT

no but victor is literally the sweetest man on earth. you were rightfully angry victor !! jade now you apologise.

"okay" ill kill him

victor sitting on the car 🥺🥺🥺🥺 im going to cry

what a scene. my god.

SARA HAS ONLY BEEN THERE FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS?

"Do you live here in town" ELGIN i love you

poor julie if she knew her crush is out there flirting with the local murderer

"I like what i like and i like owls" based. thats me writing 300 jade posts per day

oh boy this scene (me about every scene)

"THAT PART ALWAYS SEEMED A BIT LIKE WISHFUL THINKING TO ME" im. ill be processing for 3 years

"Did you do something that needs forgiving?" elgin my sweet boy

jim rightly proud of his badass kid

"you put hate inside me" :'(

is she gonna give her her stuff damn shes too nice

a part of me is feeling like shes gonna smash it tho lmao

SORRY FOR DOUBTING YOU MRS LIU

i am starting to assume that everyone forgot about tobey so jade is never even gonna know that it was sara lmao

KENNY

oh my god kenny

im hurt seeing him so hurt

TOWNSPEOPLE CAN WE GIVE KENNY A BREAK OVER HERE PLEASE WHAT R U STARING AT HES VERY RIGTHFULLY MAD HE HAS EVERY RIGHT

oh elgin

elgin youre too sweet

elginnnnn

everyones gonna hate you elgin 😭😭😭 i am suffering for you

KRISTI BECAME EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL THIS IS NOT A DRILL

now please do jade

"KRISTI WHERE ARE YOU GOING BABY STOP"

KRISTI NO NO NOOOOOO

i love her so much

"People liked him, then he changed" dont do this to me

"I am at the end of my rope" oh god

TABITHA??????

holy fucking shit im going to die of heart attack

this doesnt have captions i dont know what the creepy ghost children are saying

I WAS LITERALLY THINKING I WISHED TABITHA AND JADE WOULD INTERACT AND LOOK AT THIS NOW

i knew jim would not vote box lets goo

BOYD WHY

Randall ????

OKAY that tabitha and marielle scene from last episode was bothering me so much i cant believe i didnt think of this

what an episode my god

[leafbatraccoon]

sims tag game!!

i was tagged by @d4isy-nukes via reading her post oh well lets go

1. What’s your favourite sims death? in ts4: METEOR muahahhah

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match? if i have to pick, maxis match, but im partial to maxis mix choices

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? not usually, no, but i have done it by tweaking a bit in cas, rarely but i it happened

4. Do you use move objects? fuck yea, love that shit

5. Favorite mod? i loved gem's answers btw absolute same but hum... i really dont know.. the classics, wwhims for attraction system, zerbu's, don't wash dishes where you angry poop, lumpinou's rpo, i really cant pick, i use so many, it's giving me whats ur favourite kid energy

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? GTW yall & i stand by it

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? the wrong way

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? AGAIN WITH THE CHILD PICKING !!! no but really i can't pick favourites no matter what

9. Have you made a simself? not one that looks like me bc i don't even know what i look like tbh but i made a kind of avatar

10. What sim traits do you give yourself? self-absorbed gloomy geek 🤢

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color? depends on the sim

12. Favorite EA hair? all the sdx ones were pretty dope so far

13. Favorite life stage? the ones that are yet to come eheh

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? prolly gameplay which in ts4 i rely on mods for a lot, but ts4 made me more confident in building or at least decorating, it's very fun now and in ts2 i used to spend a lot of time in cas and the body shop

15. Are you a CC creator? no, but maybe one day

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? i dont think so ?!

17. What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4) ts2&3 for different reasons, i never played the first one tho, i mean i did but not really

18. Do you have any sims merch? a phone charm that came with a promotional magazine for ts3 launch, i cant fine the magazine tho ;(

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims? i wouldn't know what to do with it

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? i made a lot of long haired blondes with ballroom dresses in my ts2 era for some reason, i dont even know where i was getting cc from, really long hair and ballroom dresses on the toddlers too if you can imagine oh and i had mermaid tails from downloading oher sims so naturally i made a bunch of sirens all the time

21. What’s your Origin ID? i think it's gumbreath now

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator? oh gosh why did i decide to do this ??! humm cant pick one so shout out to @tudtuds merecido

23. How long have you had a simblr? circa 5 months so far

24. How do you edit your pictures? i use gimp the open-source queen, for my spellcaster legacy i was trying to do a scrappy photoset vibe, mystical motherhood im literaly just cropping and since ive reinstalled shaders i just use a preset for stardew moon bc i am nothing if not lazy ig

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? none, id like them to fix the game we already have 😘 but if i had to ig faeries for gamepack, travel for expansion (with 3 decent worlds & hotels plz) and literally any stuff pack so they can say they didnt lie to us about it 🤡

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? im a sucker for sulani so island living for EP? although the mermaids deserved better, big cottage stan but wish goats and horses were on it so not on the podium & get together still has the best world; paranormal stuff pack by faaaaar, it was the least cash grabby SP ever i thought i was dreaming when they didnt call it a gamepack

ok so that is it, if you read this so far ... why ? /hj im doing the same and tagging whoever sees it IF THEY FEEL LIKE PARTAKING 🤍🤍🤍 OK BYEE

[ppgxrrblove]

i have thoughts... my gosh if i had a dang type writer this.. this text phone crap reply here would be longer, but... gonna work with my cruddy phone here to reply to this horrendous mess that i read.. please guide me through this goddess of cheetos - cause i need it.

1. what do you mean lila was difficult to write? shes a villian for a **childrens tv show** which you had no problem slapping unnecessary inappropriate adult themed topics into it, mind you, how chloe moms a literal whore, so i question how is she difficult to write when you legit confirmed that you already flying through the seasons as if its a high class buffet bro - wow already done with 7, and 8 man that is nuts. i still don't understand how thats healthy and possible at all 🫠 but here we are y'all and you still find it hard to write one of the most basic blandist villians i have ever dang seen in my life.

my shounen jump manga's had better villian stories than yours lmaooo..... okay let me not, but, please just end it, it shouldn't be this complicated to. make a story for one villian unless your gonna make her... the villian for the entire seasons 'to come'.... oh my gosh that makes sense.. hmm or not??.. i dont know.

2. Alright i could just write a paragraph on how much of a BULLCRAP that is to justify they're terrible cheap writing they had done towards chloe.. i dont want to go into it but to point out the second point it's the way you finished her off is the problem.. how can you give a character a very much half baked story arc of becoming good than ditch her quickly in the next season, reset her dang change and act as if.. the progression of those episodes, topics never existed - like you made twitter viewers for this show call you out on it too. so stop lying.

3. I smell something off.. i know its roughly translated to get the point across but i dont get the feeling they had a nice goodbye with the jap folks they worked with at all around said time.. cause i may be wrong here, dont requote me on this but didnt mlb release in japan a bit late? the other thing interesting that you explain what 'happened' to the pv, because last i remember it was because you admitted, from what i read year back, it was because the artist didnt wanna draw the spots on ladybug suit.. hmm.. now your stating it was for something else? uhhh... i dont know.. i still feel iffy for this reason they gave out.

4.... the mlb pv may have been "dark toned" in your eyes buuut It was still artistically, highly factually objectively better than the trashy cgi that is now getting better cgi but with even more bad writing, from yall.. im sorry but toe did a wonderful job to boot a tooonee of people love that one than what you gave them which speaks volume. it just the pv makes more sense than the cgi and had a better song theme as well.. chat noir looked cool and ladybug suit doesn't look uncomfortable.. and questionable..over the time it has passed..people are noticing it hon, were not dumb. i digress but her ladybug costume looked waaay better and cuter i prefer that one more.

but yeah thats all i got.. poor chloe, i still love her though so comtinue to destroy she will still be queen bee and i believe that she got her redemption well made by the group of mlb viewers who did interesting concepts to posts on how she got her beautiful heroine shine

SEASON 6 SPOILERS BELOW... AGAIN.

And there goes what little solace I got from the end of "Revolution".

[drxgony]

artfight 2022, im not gonna post them all but here are some i did. was super busy this month but i did try me best :) in order.

squirpgroves saskia

@queddadraw​ cirrus

kaoticevils archer

@sk0lithos castilleja

flameingos lucille

@olives-and-lilies desha

canislupis’ sion

julnites kriara

jalaires mellohi

and lastly @anticode-403 antares

thank you so much for all the lovely characters, hope to see you all next year :)

[koheletgirl]

hello hello hello i am back for a bit and since i've missed eurovision and the mandatory madness posting that goes with it, i was wondering if you'd mind giving me a quick rundown? Apparently mika was there??? The pu*sy salad song didn't make it??? idk that's the only two things I did hear abt it (btw this is your excuse to rant abt it if you want to <3 don't feel pressured tho ! )💖

oh my gosh peng. that was A Night. ill link some stuff in case you or anyone else wants to know what im talking about

alright alright alright. so first off pussy salad song didnt make it, which was a travesty truly and i dont think i will ever recover. i honestly dont understand how that happened. im devastated

mika was hosting! what a legend that guy is. he performed during voting time, and when he performed in the second semi final it was awful. they let him sing some sting cover and it was boring af and we were all sad bc that's mika let him sing some mika songs! but then last night he did. oh peng, he did.

måneskin performed with supermodel, which i like but i dont love the idea of them working with max martin tbh. i dont want them to lose their soul yk? anyway they were amazing and looked amazing as usual, but damiano was injured and for some reason they kept interviewing him without giving him his crutches which was painful to watch. we did get this picture out of it tho.

the host asked damiano to give advice to this year's competitors, and he said "have fun and dont get too close to tables"

sweden sent one of the sexiest people ive laid my eyes on

(unpopular opinion here) i actually liked finland's entry a lot. but maybe it's also bc their guitarist was. very hot

there were 3 Good entries - ukraine, moldova and serbia

moldova's song was about trains? apparently. i thought it was one of the best moments of the night

serbia. i want to give everything i own to that woman. neta and i were doing the hand dance the whole night

the jury were shit, as usual. the uk were in the lead up until the audience votes were revealed. which was Hilarious

germany received 0 points from the jury and 6 points from the audience. as they should

courtney act announced the australian jury votes!!!! she was marvelous

mika was so sweet seriously

ukraine won, rightfully so.

ukrainian flute guy im naming my firstborn after you

[actualbird]

WAIT I DIDN'T KNOW YOU READ THE POKEMON SPECIAL MANGA TFIYFYI

Huge agree to everything you said here!! The manga is absolutely amazing and the Hoenn arc is probably my favourite for so many reasons including the romance. Honestly the whole of how Ruby and Sapphire's relationship developed in general is great, kudos to the writers, I think it was one of the first romances I actually enjoyed.

Yellow my beloved!! Honestly they were so good in their arc, I adored the team Yellow built. It's not that novel of a concept but seeing their Pokemon that were commonly considered weak being a threat was amazing to me. I love the team building in the manga in general honestly, it always lets Pokemon considered weak just look really great. Delcatty and Mightyena holding their own against Norman's Pokemon? Amazing I love Ruby for it.

I'm sorry if you didn't want replies to the PokeSpe post fhfhk I tend to ramble a lot when people talk about Pokemon. Take care and I hope the booster shot symptoms don't hit you too hard!

🌌

OH MY GOSH?? A FELLOW POKESPE FAN AS WELL?? MILKYWAY I AM HIGH FIVING U SO MUCH RN

literally, LITERALLY, like. god. the pokemon special manga didnt have to go as hard as it did, but it did, and it was amazing. of all the pokemon medias, it's my favorite. like, the anime (+movies) i like for nostalgia factor, the games i like for the gameplay factor, but pokespe.....i like it for the reason that matters most to me when i enjoy medias, it's amazing for the STORY

HOENN IS MY ALL TIME FAVE REGION. confession, i read halfway thru the sinnoh arc too and i loved it but i stopped halfway cuz i was like. nothing for me is gonna top the hoenn arc kjbKJBJSDF

before i ramble about the hoenn arc tho, i'll talk about everything else cuz yess yESSSS YELLOW!! YELLOW MY BELOVED!!!! pls, they were so gender and im just a sucker for healer characters who also just value kindness so much, kindness not as a weakness but as a strength, also she was a cowboy, yeehaw, what is NOT TO LIKE???? i need to reread the kanto arc tho cuz i forgot so much of the details but yellow was v v important to me. in johto, my fave is yellow, followed by red, and then green and blue. i love all my children but im allowed to have favorites ok kjBKJDSF

johto was also frigging fantastic but i dont remember much but the fact that gold's defining characteristic was that he was so mom friend that he was Powerful. also that he and silver are boyfriends, i dont make the rules, it's there in the (sub)text

and also ur right, ur RIGHT. POKESPE SO GOOD CUZ ENSEMBLE CAST AND FOUND FAMILY VIBES AND TEAM BUILDING!!!!! literally everything i love in stories can be traced back to pokespe omg. EDIT: REALIZED I MISUNDERSTOOD WHAT U MEANT BY TEAM BUILDING DGHGJKDGDGK my point still stands tho

but hoenn. man. hoenn.

reasons i love hoenn, an incomplete list because the complete list would just be me quoting volumes 15 to 22 of pokesp out word for word which i do not need to do with u cuz uve read it but

IDK MAYBE I WANNA PSPSPSPPSS PPL TO READ POKESPE. CUZ SO LITTLE PPL HAVE!!! IT DRIVES ME NUTS!!

ANYWAY, REASONS I LOVE HOENN (AND WHY U, READER OF THIS RESPONSE WHO IS NOT MILKYWAY MAY LOVE IT TOO)

the romance. this is predictable for me ok, i just love a good love story and ruby/sapphire is the only canon romantic ship that happens and for good fucking reason. because their relationship development and story knocked it outta the goddamn ballpark

queer allegory so blatant to anybody who is not cishet like. god. i dont even have to explain this, it's obvious to anybody who has read it JKJBSKDFJKS

true for all the pokespe arcs: subversion of tropes. like u said, pokemon that r seen as weak get their moment to shine, and people with characteristics and traits that are seen as weak are shown that those traits are actually strengths and make them special and who they are. //SOBS!!

true for all the pokespe arcs as well: fantastic balance of action, comedy shenanigans, and angst. //chef's kiss

srsly these kids had Trauma. theres The Incident but also norman (ruby's dad) like uh. why the HELL were you SO VIOLENT IN THAT ONE SCENE??? when i read this at 11yrs old i was like "oh that makes sense, norman is angry cuz ruby ran away!!! it's tough love!!" but now that im 22 yrs old im like "HEY, NORMAN? U HIT UR KID. THAT IS PHYSICAL ABUSE TO A CHILD." like im glad norman does better later and that they reconcile but also what the fuck

BUT what i wanna talk about most is ruby and sapphire's character. it's frigging incredible to me, the both of them. how one traumatic Incident that happened when they were kids changed the entire course of both their personalities because that event instilled core fears into them.

ruby who was at first into battling but after The Incident saw that battling (that pain) made his best friend look at him with horror in her eyes. sapphire who as at first a meek prim proper girl but after The Incident saw that this made her helpless and powerless to save her best friend who got so frigging hurt. both of them fixating on that. ruby fixating on how pain made him "ugly", sapphire fixating on how meekness made her "powerless"

and thus them going forward in a different trajectory. ruby finding his footing in beauty, aesthetics, and performance, and being a snotty bitch (affectionate) at ppl into battling. sapphire finding her footing in becoming a battle master to hone her strength and also literally grow up in the wilderness, she was the BLUEPRINT for the feral girl archetype but actually done well. they reunite, do not recognize each other, clash so much because the other embodies something they dislike (cuz in the past that something fucked them up so much) and then coming to accept all parts of both each other and themselves

and then they fall in love

foils to one another, finding parts of themself in the other, learning to be vulnerable and trust once more

//SOBS CRIES WAILSSSSS!!!!!

EDIT: i love that ruby makes a huge personality trait of his just bitch (affectionate). hes such a bitchy piece of shit with a heart of gold, sapphire got her work cut out for her slowly falling in love with him kjbkJBKK

anyway you should go read the pokemon special manga if u havent, dear reader of this response who hasnt read it yet

heres where u can read it all

hoenn arc is volumes 15 to 22 (skip "The Mt. Silver Training Chapter" between 15 and 16)

but fair warning, beginning of hoenn arc starts and islinked to the ending of johto arc so itll be a BIT CONFUSING FOR THE FIRST 20 PAGES OF VOL15 but it's fine, you can handle it, i believe in u.

and yknow, if u do wanna get the full context, why not just read everything before hoenn as well? because KANTO AND JOHTO ARE REALLY FRIGGING GOOD TOO.

//breathes heavily. okay. okay im done rambling. i just came home from getting my booster shot and typed this all in a frenzied daze. i need a nap and also breakfastKJBKSJFD

THANK U FOR THIS ASK, MILKYWAY!! i....really wanna reread hoenn now and will probably liveblog the process

[franeridart]

Anon said: i dont know what blue lock is but that art you just posted is making me interested lol

AHHHHH please getting people interested in it is all my life is about lately hahahaha it’s a sports manga about soccer! Kind of!! Definitely has all the good sides of sports manga, but it’s also different enough from the usual sports manga that I know people who aren’t huge sports manga fan who loved every second of it, please do give it a try if you find yourself with the time for it! It’s such a cool manga!!!

Anon said: I don't even like BNHA anymore, haven't for more than a year, but your blog still has me shipping the characters somehow. I live for your KiriBaku content (and your KamiJirou stuff, when you post it!)

Gosh, I’m glad I can make you like them still!! It’s such a compliment, honestly ;A; <3

Anon said: so i was looking through your art and stuff and was wondering "hey i wonder if theyve ever drawn voltron stuff" and tbh, i didnt expect you to have

To be fair, if you checked it means that at least a little you thought it was possible lol I haven’t watched anything past s1 of it though, so the chances of me ever picking it up again are less than zero

Anon said: You... are one of the loves of my life... and also the main reason I check tumblr everyday lol.

Anon!!! You’re gonna make me blush here!!!!! ;;;; thank you so much!

Anon said: i started reading bluelock because of u and now im obsessed soooo,,,,, thanks!❤️😭

SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT!!!!!

Anon said: Hii, do you have a Spotify account? If you do, can you share it? I really like the songs u use on your arts, and I would love to see your Playlists Sorry if it's already on your FAQ, I didn't find it And sorry for my bad English ps. I LOVE YOUR KIRIBAKU ARTS THANK YOU

I don’t! I listen to all my music from youtube, because I’m that kind of person lmao happy to hear we share music tastes, though! And thank you so much!!! <3

Anon said: What's your favorite arc of ToG both story wise and art wise?

SCREAMS I don’t know!!!! I’ve been thinking about this ask since getting it I have genuinely zero clue I love all arcs so much for so many different reasons!!!!! The first that comes to mind when I think about it is the workshop battle arc, because I love Viole with everything I have and the whole arc (plus the build up to it too!!) hurts in the most wonderful way, but then I keep thinking about it and I realize there’s so many character I live for that don’t appear in it - I love the floor of death arc SO MUCH cause for one, there’s nearly all my favorite characters in it, and also because it’s such a good, dynamic arc?? everything that happens is so much fun and interesting?? also Hockney is there, and Urek is there, and Garam is there, and the Hell Train gang is all there, so!! AH and the hell train as a whole is so damn good (the dallar show???? my whole soul rests in there, Khun’s trust in Bam!! the coin flip with rachel!! Bam’s whole everything!!!!!!!! GAH) but my fav part of it has to be the hidden floor?? because!!!!!! it’s perfect from start to end, everyone in it is wonderful, Bam’s growth in it!!! GODS! My favorite scene in the whole webtoon is in the hidden floor arc, it’s how much I love it - THEN THERE’S YAMA and the whole arc there is so so SO good too, and the latest arc!! how good is the latest arc!!!!!

so yeah I can’t pick - art wise I think it goes without saying that SIU’s art has only gotten better, so the closest to the newest update you go the more I like the art.... though, my favorite Bam is still the short haired one from the Hell Train arc haha

Anon said: Oh, wow, how stupid of me. Like 2 months ago, I sent you a message telling you how much I loved your work... and I didn’t see it on your page, or anywhere else. Finally today, I discovered I had an inbox where you answered me... 🤦‍♀️... I still love your work, by the way...

AHHH yeah I always answer off-anon asks privately! And thank you so much for still liking my things!!

Anon said: Have you read the last haikyuu chapter? How did you feel about it?

I’ve reread it at least twenty times and then I went and reread the whole of the last game again and it’s been three weeks and I’m still thinking about it more or less constantly and feeling giddy happy about everything that manga has ended up being, genuinely one of the best manga I’ve ever had the pleasure of following till the very end - that’s how I feel about it <3

Anon said: I really like looking at your art it’s so therapeutic it’s wonderful please keep drawing I want to support you on Kofi and patreon and yet I am broke please just know I love u very much ok bye

Ahhhh it’s okay anon! I try to keep as little completely unavailable for my followers as I can, and I’ll do my best to keep drawing! Can’t promise the fandoms will always be stuff you care about though haha

Anon said: This is my FAVORITE art blog. Is blog even a word that ppl use anymore?? Idk but anyways your kiribaku gives me life and cures my depression so ily and thank u

I’m so so happy to hear that! Thank you so much!!! TTATT <3

Anon said: just now realizing your oc looks like the human version of kamakiri

To be fair the only thing they have in common is the green mohawk, but I get where you’re coming from! I was very happy when Kamakiri’s official colors came out exactly cause he makes me think about my boy, after all xD my love for Kamakiri is definitely biased, in that sense haha

Anon said: Just wanted to let u know im very gay for ur oc giulia that is all thanks

Anon I’m gonna cry I’m so glad you like her!!!!!!!!!! She’s one of my oldest OCs out of that group, it’s always so thrilling to know people like her ;A; <3

Anon said: I really like how you draw kirishima’s hair

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!! I have a lot of fun with it, though it does mean it ends up being kinda off canon more often than not haha

Anon said: hi! just a random question but how’d you come up with your name?

Fran is my name! Erid comes from Eridan from homestuck! Art is what I try to do! And that’s the incredibly interesting story behind my screen name haha

Anon said: Heya, so i sent the ask about the person who i suspect either heavily referenced or traced your art (i sent another ask about this tho im not sure if it went through) anyway, it was posted by ****************** you'll know it when you see it i think

Ahhhhhh sorry for how long this took me to answer, I went to check and it’s!!! fine, I mean, would have preferred if they had credited but I don’t think it was completely traced so I don’t mind too much, I used to copy art of people I liked too back when I was first starting, after all haha

[bardicious]

A Teensy Weensy Blog Update

I was quite diligently scrolling around my archive feed - privating some posts cause I just didn't like some and others had discourse I didnt care to see in my own blog (however I've kept any more recent ones cause meh - I guess the recent spite is still fresh) but what I've learned is...

a. I make way too many promises I don't follow through with, I mean well, really - but mental and physical health gets in the way and I just usually don't have as much time or interest to delve into all my artworks or post ideas.

b. those projects I promised to make are still rolling around in my brain trying to gain purchase, I cant promise that they'll ever get made or be made soon cause honestly Im having a social media melt down and need to focus on my career, so its all up in the air - still pondering the future of this blog and my time on social media

c. I have gotten angrier recently and major shocks its because I interacted with Marvel media again. That was my first mistake, really. But considering I will forever love the characters too much to abandon them - and I quite enjoy mutuals and some fans from there, I'll be making efforts to divorce myself from whatever the hell Marvel is putting out now and actually - truly - work on my interpretations of the characters. (Which will veer dramatically away from canon because not so shockingly I actually hate most of canon - I truly do - and oh please don't get me started on the writers, actors, directors that make all this garbage) (Marvel fanfic writers, I love you and only you)

d. I truly need to get back into more mellow fandoms like Garashir and Kurtbastian - cause those places be the bomb. And the bits of DC fandom that I don't want to beat with a bat. They're cool too. :) (I'm up to here with the bs discourse about batcest though - seriously dont @ me whether you hate it - I really just dont care for anti behavior)

e. I'm going to work extra hard to make this a positive space for people to follow me. Ill try to tone down negative posts (not cause I disagree with any of them - but cause I know focusing on the negatives really doesn't do anyone any good - that said don't be a dick to people who need to express their anger at something - that isn't people - basically chill the fuck out y'all and mind your business, there is a blocking function for a reason)

f. Really sad I had to turn off my anon asks cause I really did get some sweet people in there. Y'all are wonderful. I just cant cope with anonymous dick heads. <3

j. Might reblog less???? Not sure. But the amount of posts on my blog is becoming unmanageable (thats a lie, it already is - sobs-)

And yeah, that's it for now. Im still basically on hiatus until at least the new year (and gosh I actually go on hiatus quite a few times I noticed), currently living off romantic comedies and shows like the hardy boys and stargate. lmao.

Anyways, thanks yall for following, reblogging, and liking my stuff. <3 Truly whenever I see your tags and whatnot, you make my day. :)

[mobtism]

what do you think of space and the ocean? Do you prefer one over the other

hate the rdj meme but yknow the version where it says smth like "theyre filled with wonder for the world" or smth like that? i think abt that meme often bc. yeah... thats me

edit: holy shit this ended up being a long post and i didnt even realize... adding a readmore

i love looking up at the stars a lot. i think its all very fascinating and beautiful. i wish stars were more visible where i live... but the suburban light lets only few shine through. i dont have a personal connection to the entirety of space, but stars... suns... theyre very important to me, a part of me. its why i use star emojis for my personal tags... stars and suns have important personal meaning to me,, but i wont get into it now... but i do associate myself with both. while its not exactly space... i do really love the sky. i love to spend time lying down outside and just gazing into it... i feel like a baby in a crib staring up at a mobile lmao. ive seen so many different, beautiful skies near home... purples and pinks and greens and yellows and blues... and no matter what, it's always enamoring to me. and i know its a bit cliché,, but i hope to one day see the northern lights. aurora borealis is a combination of multiple things that are near and dear to my heart: winter/snow... the night sky... and bright, colorful lights.

ive always had a love for the ocean though. aquatic animals are my favorites (alongside reptiles)... and the ocean is so very fascinating to me. in middle school, i had very much wanted to be a marine biologist. i loved learning about the ocean and everything in it. for the longest time, my favorite animal was an octopus, not for gross reasons, but because they are so fucking cool. i used to know so many facts about octopi, but i cant really remember much these days, only the basics... other aquatic animals that i love include, but not limited to: sharks, kraits, horseshoe crabs are my lil guys, my friends... i want to hold them in my hands. crabs in general r so v cool... chesapeake blue crabs are soooo pretty, pelagic red crabs are cool and so funky lookin i love them, they look like a mix btwn a lobster and a crab. however i think ghost crabs are my absolute favorites bc they are like, soooo the epitome of crab. and they come in a variety of colors too!!!!! gosh they are so cool. and they are so fucking neat dungeness crabs are cool too :-)

i also think shrimp are fascinating but i feel differently about them because i like to eat shrimp. manta rays are one of my top favs as well!! love them a lot i think theyre so cool... i could probably talk about aquatic animals for hours but i'll stop here. truly fascinated with all the little guys in there, including the eerie and ominous ones... i love the vastness and depth of the ocean, how inspiring it is to know so little about a world so big and crucial to our own. i have such a love for the water,, it is a piece of my heart... its one reason i love pirates and merfolk, why i would love to be one of either if that were possible. ive felt a connection to the water for as long as i can remember... growing up surrounded by large lakes and multiple small bodies of water too... however ive only seen and been to the ocean three times at the most. i hope to see it more someday, i have a feeling i will.

[unlocktxt]

hi 😄 i saw your reblog and i want to ask the same thing: what was your first impression of your moots?

First i want to say that I may of gotten a littleeeee carried away. I wanted to include as many people as possible, but some I don’t have enough to say. Despite this I might add more. I’ve met so many various people on this app and I’ve loved interacting with them all or just seeing them around. So much so that I can’t list everybody. I really love all my moots and there are so many of them that I’ll forever be grateful for. (yes i added a keep reading because this was so long and please excuse my gramtical errors)

@hoes4hoseok - our first impression was playing among us WHICH WAS SO FUN. I don’t remember much about talking to her in the game BUT I do remember that she was the first one to ever make the group chat filled with those who played with us. honestly I’m so grateful that she did that because I wouldn’t have been able to become friends with her and many others. I remember thinking that she was beyond kind and that she was good with trying to include everyone. After that I just remember hearing her voice and then DYING because she has a wonderful voice. I felt as though I related to you just a bit. Now I’ve gotten to see different aspects of her and really value her as a person and friend. She keeps things real and is so helpful. Sometimes I wish I could see what goes on inside her head because sometimes I think she reserves herself or overthinks and I’d like to give her a big hug.

@binniebutter - amie... oh amie 🙄 just kidding 😂 amie well... I also met her while playing among us in that same group. we played a lot with each other and I find that nice BECAUSE I CANT REMEMBER WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT DURING THE FIRST TIME WE PLAYED. I think I do remember laughing about her and gen tho. In our first gc I remember thinking that she had a bright personality and could keep the conversation going. I also find out we live about an hour away so I was able to connect with her about that (I also was so excited just because IVE NEVER MET AN ONLINE FRIEND IN THE SAME STATE) After that we played among us a lot together and I just remember thinking amie was EVIL. She was funny though and I felt comfortable around her. Now... I honestly think I’m pretty close to amie emotionally. It’s very rare that I put down my guard and talk to someone about certain things (I don’t really think I’ve talked to her about certain things tho) I still feel as though I can talk to her or that I can cry or rant to her without feeling judged. I don’t know how much she’s come to me about, but anytime I try to comfort her i feel like I get to know her better. I usually don’t start joking with my friends and being “rude” to them unless I know that they know I love them, which is why I’m starting to show amie sarcasm at times ☺️ I may of written too much 😅

@hyukaite I ACTUALLY REMEMBER MY FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF KAT. oml we’d send asks every now and then and I remember thinking she was a crack head. From the videos I’d see her post to that one drawing. Man if only I could go all the way back to it, but it was monthssss ago. I also remember relating to her about having to help our sisters with math 💀. I wanted to be her friend after seeing her interact with some of my other moots, but I was too shy to actually message her so I stuck with sending in asks every now and then 😂 then we started playing among us together. I remember thinking “NOOOO SHE STOLE YELLOW” which led to me falling in love with the dark green among us color JFKAJFLW. After that I remember getting betrayed by her in the game SO MANY TIMES. she killed me during the Simon says task... to tell you what grudge I hold... I still remember it. ITS SUCH A HARD TASK AND SHE DIDNT LET ME FINISH IT. She also killed me in electrical when I thought she was INNOCENT. Now... kat I don’t even know how to describe her. She has many aspects to her that I love. She also is able to help me think straight whenever I let my anger get to me.

@yawnjunie - I thought she was shy at first because when I first met her she didn’t talk much, so I felt bad because I thought she didn’t feel all that welcomed by us (no specific reason we were just introduced to blu so abruptly 😂) After that I think I was intimidated by her at first JFJAKFJERI. We also compared our schools and our grade mindset which I think really opened my eyes a little bit more. I still believe she’s really smart Zknfaltn. She makes me laugh though and she also started the network moacabinet. She’s really sweet with so many ideas, but I feel bad because sometimes I think she gets stressed easily. She’s not on much, but everytime she’s online I’m blessed with her presence.

@kkuming - gigiiiii! my first impression of gigi was fairly simple. We met on the au group chat and she seemed really sweet. I wanted to try and give gigi a warm welcome and make sure she felt comfortable. I wish I remembered more about our first meeting. I DO HOWEVER remember thinking she was v v innocent. I sat back and watched gigi get thrown into the group and laughed my ass off at how she interacted with kat. I was worried that because the others were already so comfortable with her and joking around about things that she may actually think that the “divorce” or whatever it was that kat and her had would make her upset, so I wanted to remind her that I appreciated her Zofnakfjeof. She also was taking a lot of stressful classes so I could only hope this girl didn’t die underneath all that stress. Now I- she’s crazy guys. Just kidding 😂 she’s still really sweet and jokes around with all of us. I’m glad she’s online a lot more now. she’s also really funny.

@lipbeom - I’m like 99.9% sure rynn was the first person I ever really talked to on tumblr. I thought she was a really good writer and saw that she was a senior as well, so I was glad that I wasn’t the only one on tumblr that was going to suffer through the last year of school. I was so glad when she messaged me first like Y’ALL HAVE NO IDEA. When I first met her I remember thinking she was really sweet AND BEYOND SMART. I’m really grateful for rynn and I actually miss her a lot because I feel like I don’t interact with her as much as I should. She was very supportive and still is. It’s only been a few months since I first talked with her but I’m reminiscing 😂 She also got me hooked on selling sunset WHICH WAS AMAZING but I was talking like the girls on the show for WEEKSSSSSSS.

@bbhyeoliskooks - I don’t really remember how I came across her, but I realized she was a new moa writer and wanted to check her out. My first impression... hmmm I guess you could say that I believed she was very grateful even when she didn’t have to be. Sometimes she makes me feel old 💀 but she’s reminds me a little bit of my sister... just way sweeter. She’s very loyal and anytime you tell her you’ve posted something oml she’s wonderful. She’s the type of person who is really supportive and I appreciate that, but sometimes I feel like I don’t give her enough of ittttt. I really need to go stalk her blog now as for some reason I don’t see her notifs half the time. I’m really proud of her and think she’s one of the sweetest people on tumblr NOT TO MENTION SHE SINGS BEAUTIFULLY.

@txthearteu - oml cj 😂 she is also one of the first people I talked to on tumblr. I don’t really remember our first impression tho :/. I DO REMEMBER I READ ONE OF HER STORIES THO and i sent an ask about it because she deserved the recognition for it. Hmmm at first I believe I was intimidated because she is older than me 😂 however she was so extremely sweet and I loved talking to her. I tried talking about various different things with her because I wanted our conversation to continue hehe. She stays feeding me 😌 and even if I can’t physically eat del taco I get full off of the love and support cj gives me. My eyes light up when I see her in my notifs. I think she deserves the world and I always want to be there for her. I don’t think I can ever repay her for the love she’s given me.

@sung4oon - SAM I SWEAR IF YOU CHANGE UR URL BEFORE I HAVE A CHANCE TO POST THIS! I met her when her url was... 👁👄👁 lixxie sumtin. I think it was lixieebear. I truly don’t remember her first impression 💀 the only thing I remember was thinking that she was also a crack head. She was really funny and sweet and DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE WHOLE BRAINCELL THING. I should’ve given her my brain cells for christmas. I still think she’s really fun to talk to and I literally try to remind myself as much as possible that I need to go stop by and send an ask every now and then. Even so she still says hi to me ☺️

@beomiebear5 - R A I N A. hehehehehehe I actually love this first impression for me. At the time I saw her anon asks to rynn. I saw that she was going to start posting stuff on her blog soon and she gave a hint about how to find her. Ofc I let rynn do that herself BUT I went searching KFJSIFIWFKW I couldn’t help it I saw it as a challenge. My first impression was rlly just that she was sweet. Then after a while KFJAOFJWOF I really love interacting with her and seeing her rants. Gosh she’s so funny and ✨inspires✨ me. I’m always down to talk to her because she’s amazing and sweet.

@magicisland9-34 - lillie ☺️ I honestly don’t remember our first impression? I do however remember when she first sent an ask! I would always get so excited when I got an ask from her 😂 I loved talking to her and she let me ramble on and on. Whether that be about gymnastics or ballet. Once again even lillie is sweet, but she’s betrayed me for siding with amie about Christmas 😤. She’s also one of the people that I try to remind myself to go and visit their blog and see what they’ve posted.

@spookybias - if I remember correctly gen was the first one who reblogged my about me post, which ended up allowing others on this app to see that I was a new writing blog. She was also one of the first people I followed and one of the first who followed me, so I was really grateful and thought she was beyond helpful and nice. I also really believe she’s a great writer and i admired how she would tell things how they are. She’s always been sweet to me even if she’s threatened to shoot me a while back 😤. OH YEAH we also played among us together in that group as well and I always suspected her at one point. IT WAS BECAUSE THE ONE TIME I TRUSTED HER SHE KILLED ME.

@bffsoobin - My first impression of Sara was pretty simple like I found her blog and fell in love. she writes so well and I’ve loved everything I’ve read from her. I thought she was really pretty and pretty funny too. When she’d talk about some of her stories revolving school it honestly made my day as well. I admire her especially because she’s such a good writer and LET ME TELL YOU when she followed me back I think I did a little cheer. I was reading her fics before I even started writing on tumblr.

@soobcxre - I saw Sara around because we had a lot of moots in common and when I saw them interact I would just think about how I wanted to befriend her 😂. When she texted me I got so excited, but I WAS SO CAUGHT UP IN SCHOOL TOO. She’s also really sweet ajfjwkfjw and I’m glad to have met her.

@lovesickchoi - MADDIE 🤩 I.... I don’t remember my first impression of her 🥲. It may of revolved around asks? I think I ended up trying to get to know her more at the time I was trying to get to know yoonie. I say this because I remember always seeming to get their urls mixed up... I think it’s because the h at the beginning. I LITERALLY DONT REMEMBER HOW WE STARTED INTERACTING. She’s also an amazing writer tho! Now I still think she’s sweet and we’ve talked about yeonbin together 😂.

@sunoo-luvs - 🥺 zaara JFJAJRKSKF literally my first impression was “cute.” That still stands btw. She’s absolutely the sweetest and is really considerate of others IM SCARED BECAUSE SHE MAY APOLOGIZE FOR THINGS THERES NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR. Even so she can easily add happiness to people’s day with just a hi and a hug.

@i2gyu - I- first impression: scary. IM KIDDING wait... actually even though that was a joke because she used to stop by and say “boo” I MAY OF ACTUALLY FELT INTIMIDATED BY HER AT FIRST. I think one of the first times we interacted was about a network and at the time I was ready to join a network SO I FELT SO BAD FOR SAYING NO. Afterwards tho I realized how nice she was and I always end up getting a little energetic once I see she’s sent in an ask. One day I’m scared I won’t see her change her url or blog, but that’s if she does again.

@fairycore-gyu - I haven’t interacted with anyone new recently and when I saw kira that obviously changed 😂. I related to her with music taste and stuff. LET ME TELL YOU when someone seems to have the same music taste I JUST my eyes light up. She was really welcoming and I instantly felt like I could message her anytime. I also just realized she’s a pisces 🥺.

@yoonjunie - I just remember thinking ooooo new moa writer! I think anyone who comes across her can say she’s very welcoming and sweet + she deserves everything she has. I really just wanted to support her 😂 I need to interact with her more and read more from her blog.

@hyeyoonwrites - yoonie 🥺 AHHHH okay 😂 first impression: LITERALLY THE SWEETEST. I know I’ve said that so many people here are sweet but yoonie is a different kind of sweet. I don’t know every single time I’ve interacted with her has felt like a soft hug. She’s supported me a lot and I really need to check up on her more frequently I feel guilty about it aifoshf.

@txtextme - gon I- even though we haven’t talked much she’s extremely funny and relatable. she just has this vibe that I love about her. I know I don’t have much to say, but I had to add her because she’s left an impact.

@yeonbins - VIVI HAS WONDERFUL GIFS. Every now and then I’ll see her post some stuff just talking and akfjskf. I mainly remember (I think) Starbucks getting her name wrong. Her names so pretty tho. I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE HOW MUCH OLDER SHE WAS THAN ME. I also played among us with her for a lil... I was scared she was gonna murder me 😂.

[tangerinegod]

hi tange ❤️❤️❤️ I hope this is ok to ask but as an art student was there ever any issues w/ submitting fanart since uv said u did naruto stuff at school? I only have experience w high school art class and the mortification of showing people my fanwork was too much for me so I just did original art I was less passionate about to show teachers etc 😖 but I dont look back on that art as kindly as I do my old fanart either yknow ?

hi!! oh my gosh if u or anyone ever had qs about art school please ask! i'm always down to answer to help unveil the mystery of it and also to help out haha, putting a tldr upfront and long post under read more

tldr: on the offchance ur school does allow it go for it cus no one will care, but i highly suggest taking the opportunity to explore original IPs instead because it's hard to do outside of an education environment, esp if ur normally into fanart (like me)

ok heres the long reply: its gonna be based all lot off of ur schools rules! to be honest a lot of my work was original, the only classes i submitted fanart for were my digital animation class bc i 1. was at the point where i didnt give a fuck LOL and 2. the professor did not check in with us before we started so we could do whatever.... and the other class was for character design because it was a fanart assignment 0: most other times i acually did strive to do original work and focused mainly on three different IPs i have.

i did dress up as naruto on multiple occasions tho because the opportunity popped up! probably like 5 times lol

i think something (and this is based on school) that you will discover is that professors genuinely do not care how outragous your content is! if anything if it's super whack then it's more entertaining and ull have more fun w it. i animated the nyan neko sugar girl rabies bite and my teacher didnt bat an eye and also made an oc in chara design whos biggest trait was being obsessed w how good she looked and having the BIGGEST tits and ass as a part of her character and my teacher was like 'yeah but this boot is uneven? watch the curve on her bra, etc'. i even used her in some of my bg paintings later haha. so i would say more than making fanart just feel out the vibe of ur school, it's honestly a REALLY good time to explore original work because once ur out u can make whatever you want, or do original work for ur assignments and fanart for fun? which is what i tried to do! when ur in you get feedback from other students and teachers which is something that becomes a lot harder post graduation, so learning how to build up strong original stories is great and you'll come out with lovable characters that r dear to u! but also some/most? schools don't allow fanart, mine normally didn't except for that animation class n i'm sure it's only cus he didnt recognize the source material haha..

also people really will not care if it is allowed because EVERYONE else at art school also draws for fun and is going because they want to. like no one is forced to go into art school and normally have to fight their way in. people at my school KNEW me as the naruto person who loved sasuke lol like i got coined the title of hokage for like the second half of my time there.. so do not fear! if ur talking and making connections with ur fellow peers (which u should really try to do) then eventually youll be talking about similar interests and sharing social medias anyways and unless ur drawing like. REALLY weird/yikes stuff it's fine! one of my best friends is making a living off of explicit furry nsfw rn lol

hopefully this helps i think i tried to answer like 20 questions instead of just 1 but i think fanart is a good segway into just type of content to make for school! also try to avoid putting fanart in your portfolio if you can, or keep it in a separate section. I keep my nice quality fanart in mine but specifically labelled in a section called fanart so people can look at my original work because that's where its All My Brain, which ppl wanna see if that makes sense. Fanart is something where someone would look to see how you executed a piece just for draftsmanships sake but ig another reason to not do a lot of fanart is you won't come out with as many portfolio pieces you can use confidently? some recruiters dont care and some do so its best to just be safe

[hufflautia]

Hope you’ve had a great day today 💛

funnily enough, i literally just stopped crying. today was a bad day, I don't know 

why but my anxiety was just quite bad today and I was panicking before school started. something happened in my first class and I overthink a lot, so my mind was like, “oh my god why did they write your name last, do they hate me, am I boring, am I forgetful, people are always forgetting about me” and “my teacher doesn't like me, why didn't he respond, I'm embarrassed, why did you have to say what you said??” my English teacher does these “mindfulness” moments in which we sit in silence for a minute and reflect on the day, and I literally started crying. after the minute ended, I just stopped bc I didn't feel like crying anymore, and suddenly my brain said, “ur so fake, ur just acting, why did u stop crying all of a sudden, u just want attention u crave attention ur such a faker!!” also I keep thinking about something that happened years ago with my dad, I don't rlly wanna get into it but I think it would be good if I just say it so that its not jammed in my head. basically, I was really young, like in elementary school; my dad asked me if i wanted to sleep in his room with him, and originally, my mom was sleeping with him and i shared a room with my little brother. however, i was like hmm maybe, and then my dad said, haha ill pay u 5 dollars. at the time, i said YAY OK but now i realized that's so fucking creepy, yall know what its insinuating right?? anyways, i said ok, bc it was just a change from the usual sleep schedule and i liked spending time w my dad, so my mom went to my brothers room (it was a king-sized bed so it was ok, it wasn't a small bed that we had to share or anything like that) and i went to my parents room. basically, what happened was that we went to sleep, and in the middle of the night, (the next part makes me feel so uncomfortable and i feel queasy writing it) my dad slapped my butt really really hard to the point where i woke up and i was like ?????? and then he rubbed it softly immediately afterwards. i didnt know what happened, and i told my sister the day after, and she was confused too. recently i was thinking about it and I'm still confused and a lot more uncomfortable with what happened. here is my theory and i was very upset by it bc no one would want to think things like this- maybe my dad likes hurting women during sex and it was a reflex that night, but once he realized it was me, he tried “soothing me” or some shit by rubbing my butt (i literally hate this, i hate the fact that this happened and i don't like typing it out). no one wants to think about their parents sex life so this was just disgusting to think about. also my brother and mom keep arguing and fighting with each other, and I'm sure i have trauma from hearing my parents argue all the time so i rlly don't like it when they fight. my brother has explosive anger and he literally screams at her, which is very disrespectful; however, she screams at him too and sometimes hurts him, which scares me. I'm not worried about my own safety, I just hate violence i hate abuse, that scares me. so much stuff has happened in my life, and it results in a lot of trauma and other stuff that i don't even know about. i just know im really fucked up, im damaged and it just all felt like crashing down on me today- like everything thats happened, i was feeling anxious for no reason, i was thinking about the past, and i started crying again while watching netflix after school, so i just kept crying and i talked to myself out loud about my day and why i was feeling the way i was. that did help to some extent, and after i did that, i stopped crying, and then my brain said “why do you shut off your crying so easily, you seem fake, you seem like you wanna be sad and cry just so that you can see your pretty little tears drip down ur face like an actress, ur so fake ur so fake ur faking it ur not actually sad”, and the hardest part was that i didnt even object to it bc i didnt feel like anything was real, i felt like i didnt know who i was. i was like ok bitch whatever maybe ur right maybe i am faking it. i dont even know how to explain it, but its like being tired of that nagging and negative voice that you just submit to it, and you say ok whatever sure i am faking it, but in truth, the sadness i was feeling was real and genuine. about 10 min ago, i saw that someone tagged me in a fanfic and while i was reading it, i literally started bawling. i guess it was bc i saw in my email inbox that people had sent me asks, and i was happy bc i thought that maybe the person who sent me the fanfic idea responded back with more details. i was anxious about that before, bc i was thinking, oh god what if they just never respond, what if they just dont care about u anymore. when i saw the asks notifications, i felt a lot of relief bc i thought to myself, oh phew ok people still care about u. when i was crying while reading the fanfic, i couldn't stop crying, it felt endless. i couldn't just stop crying like i had before, and it reminded me of the time when my mom was going out to meet someone that she met on a dating app, and it was in the earlier times when she started doing this; she had gotten involved with some terrible men in the past, men who catfished her and were rlly vulgar and gross. im sure this was somewhere in June, when i had just posted chapter 1 of the slytherpuff series bc when i was freaking out about the date, i wrote about it in my journal and i know that it was somewhere in June bc i wrote something like “mom is going out to meet someone and im nervous, please please please i hope shes ok and careful, im really nervous and scared, no one likes my writing, mom is probably in danger, oh god oh gosh”. it was just a whole bunch of negative and anxious thoughts, including how i was feeling about the whole situation with chapter 1, so that's how i know it was somewhere in June. anyways, basically i was really scared for my mom bc shes had a bad history with online men and i was scared that someone was gonna kill her. i read and listen to a lot of murder mysteries, so my mind was going absolutely wild. i remember on that day, i went to take a shower after writing that entry in the journal, bc showering makes me feel better. when i stepped into the shower i started crying bc i was really scared for her and i was hoping she was safe and ok but i was just feeling so scared so i was crying and i couldn't stop crying. that was the scary part because i just kept bawling and i couldn't stop like i usually do; my brain said ok that's enough, you’ve cried enough, but my heart just kept going on and on and my brain said ok ok jessica holy jesus that's enough and eventually i sucked it up and was kinda ok afterwards but still sad and numb. that was similar to what had happened about 20 min ago. also im sure i was also sad today bc yesterday, my mom talked to me about in-person college visits, and her demeanor was very rushed and controlling. she said, “ok jessica we’re gonna do the college visits, we’re gonna drive there, and your dad is gonna come home for that. tell him that you need to do that, ok? tell him we do the college visits together.” i said that colleges are doing virtual tours, and her facial expression was very strained, she was like “DO NOT TELL HIM THAT. dont tell him that, ok?!” and she was pointing her finger at me and everything. she said, “tell him we’re going to do the physical college tours, which colleges do you wanna visit??” and she kept telling me not to tell him about the virtual tours. it reminded me of whenever she told me to say this or that to my dad over the phone, and i was upset, like oh great ok so dad’s coming home and i dont even wanna see him bc i dont like him that much, and now im gonna have to lie bc dad is probably gonna already know about the virtual tours and im gonna have to pretend that none of the colleges are doing virtual tours. in essence, today was a terrible day. while i was crying my eyes out when reading the fanfic, i wanted to tell something, i wanted to reach out to lee and jolie, but my brain said that i would burden them, im always telling them about stuff that happens (concerning my family or other stuff) and its probably getting too much for them.  my brain said that they wont be able to help anyway, im still gonna have to deal with the stuff im dealing with, and no one can help. that's a sad thought, it seems so helpless and sad. sometimes i overthink the smallest things, and when i see a text from lee and jolie that doesnt seem “right”, i think, oh gosh they hate me now, why did i have to say that?? i usually see my therapist every Thursday, aka today, but we didnt meet this time bc her schedule is becoming busy so now we’re gonna do it every other week, so next week i shall see her. perhaps she can help. 

thank you for this ask, it seemed so out of the blue bc no one rlly sends asks like this anymore. while writing this, i literally thought to myself, shes like an angel sent from heaven

[chasethesun18]

this is just a long ass meta about why i love clarke griffin that no one probably cares to read. but it’s hiatus and we’re literally all stuck at home soooooo.....

when i first started watching the 100 i didn’t truly fall in love with any character. i was too busy crying through literally every episode and trying to deal with my own emotions because holy shit this show is dark. especially s1-2. s3-6 seem less dark and depressing in my opinion; but that could be because i was in a dark and depressing space when i watched s1 and 2 last year and in a better space watching 3-6 this year. but anyway. i went into the show expecting (from tumblr) to be a bellamy blake stan and to like clarke, but not like her a lot of the time. this wouldn’t surprise me because its actually how i am with most ships. i almost always love the guy more than the girl and i’ve never really found a female character that i felt super bonded to. 

boy was i wrong.

i went into s3 really apathetic about characters themselves (but rooting for bellarke) and i came out of s3 the biggest clarke stan ever. i was prepared to be annoyed with her due to things id seen on tumblr but in my mind she never did anything wrong (side note: bellamy, on the other hand reallyyyyy tested my patience. and has periodically continued to do so. clarke can still do no wrong). 

but even coming out of s3 i couldn’t really pinpoint why i started to love her so much. and why i felt so deeply connected to her all of a sudden. it still wasnt until 4x08 (when she injects herself with night blood) that i realized what it was while i was messaging amalia with all my thoughts as i watched. ( i scrolled way back to find this @amazalina ) i said:

“abbys just gonna let her daughter bear it okAY 

abby why

clarke is the mom in this relationship 

my strong baby can someone be STRONG FOR HER PLEASE”

and then it hit me. the reason i connected with clarke so strongly, over any character in any show i’ve ever watched (which is a lot) is because the most real and frustrating part of my life is the same as clarke’s. she has to be strong for everyone else, and no one is strong for her. she needs a clarke in her life. someone to be for her who she is for everyone else. she gives and gives and gives and no one ever gives back. it took me a long time to realize in my own life that i did this exact same thing. the person who actually comes the closest for me is my mom but a lot of times im the mom in the relationship. and she needs me so much that i very rarely fully let her be strong for me. 

i need someone in my life to love and care for me the way i love and care for others, but no one ever has. i am always the strong one, the rational one, the shoulder to cry on, the fall back, the voice of reason, the steady hand, the constant friend. and no one ever realizes i need the same. they think i have my life so together but i dont. not even close. 

its true that im not living in a post apocalyptic world with 99 kids to take care of. i didnt have to make decisions about who lived or died. but when clarke took the needle away from abby, a grown ass adult and her mother, who wasnt strong enough to deal with the consequences of ending someones life, and did it herself? i felt that. when abby tortured clarke under the chips influence and woke up and broke down and clarke comforted her? i felt that. when no one apologized for any of the horrible shit they’d done to clarke but clarke continued to not only forgive them anyway but to apologize herself to mend the relationship? gosh i felt that. every time clarke had to be the strong one, and the brave one, and comfort everyone else around her who was hurting even when she was dying on the inside and no one noticed, i felt it to my core. and it made me love her more than any fictional character ive ever come across. it made me get so unbelievably mad at other characters (cough raven ) and ppl on tumblr who were hating on her. it made me have a slight shipper meltdown after bellamy chipped madi and didnt apologize but she apologized for reacting, because did i really want that kind of relationship for clarke? (the jurys still out on that one tbh im still pissed about it. she had every right to leave him there and i dont think he deserved the apology oops)

so yeah, i love bellarke i really do. and most shows i watch i pretty much watch just for my ship (i cant help it im sorry) and i do think that bellamy is the best person for her and he has had his moments of being that person for clarke. he has helped her carry the burdens (or tried, when she wouldn’t let him) and has loved her well. so i want them to be together. but the main reason i love bellamy blake is because clarke griffin does. and that is not the feelings i expected to have from this show.

i want bellarke to be canon. but more than anything i want clarke griffin to be happy. i want her to get some apologies. i want her to find a nice home with madi and live in peace. i want her to find that dog again. maybe dye her hair a new color. take a nap. find some color pencils for her drawings. i want her to find love. but more than that i want her to learn to love herself. to know that even if she never finds someone (romantically or platonically) that gives as much as she does, that its ok. if no one ever looks out for her the way she looks out for others, its ok. because she can be that person for herself. it’d be nice for clarke to have a clarke in her life, but she already has one- herself. i want her to learn to have the same love and care and devotion and softness and kindness and gentleness and respect that she has for others for herself. and i want all of these things for her, because i want them for myself.

and that is why i love clarke griffin.

[crystu-cii]

Oh dear that sounds like it must suck jdnd oms XDD I personally am not a fan of taking art classes in school bc I suffer in most school environments for creative things like art- I just prefer to keep drawing as an at home thing, I gave art classes many a second chance but they were so boring and technical and always had such a hard-coded path so nahh, so unexciting and unfulfilling.

XDD Well you could explain it again, it's a very good reason--

Hmmmb buzz your head, I did /j (I actually did it tho XD) I mean.. I personally recommend trying out a short haircut tho (as a person who has tried many short hairstyles-- pixie cuts w/shaved sides + back are the superior haircut XD I'm actually growing my hair out from shaving it all off tho- I havent had long hair since I was like, 8, and I hope I like it this time around cause I like the idea of it-) but anyways short hair is super easy to style and worth trying even though hair takes a while to grow out-- and alsoo it's easier to wear a wig over short hair XD

YESS I stim a lot when I get excited XDD so much moving around and pacing-- (points to when I initially became friends with you--)

XDD cool, I've been adopted by someone! ..again! XD

Unrelated but I'm playing Minecraft and got reminded of how no one ever wants to play games with me ;w; none of my siblings care for Minecraft so I'm always playing alone-

SAMEEE- i dont really wanna pursue art as a career or anything- i just draw for absolute fun ! and awhh well im slightly glad i didnt choose art class as my elective then xD

and oo i guess your right- i have the feeling i can actually convince my mom cause like- i havent asked for a gift for months- the last time i bought something- it was persona 4 golden when it went on steam- which was like jUNE-July xDD but man- if i ask her she better not go all like- "okay but THATS YOUR CHRISTMAS GIFT-" XDDD so maybe ill wait or see what will happen

and man- back at march when quarantine started- i knew this was the absolute oppurtunity to have short hair- i dreamed of having hair short to where it reaches my chin or neck- but my mom (THE CLASSIC ASIAN- /hj) is all like "no- you will look ugly-" HAHA- okay she didnt say "ugly" she just kept saying "you wont look good with short hair" but I AM JUST H U R T MAN-

but when i have FULL FREEDOM (possibly when i become an adult- I DONT EVEN WANNA GROW UP THO NOOOO-) i wanna cut my hairrr short at LEAST once- cause yolo- right? xD i jus wanna experience short hair mOoOOOMMMm whYYyYY

and oo! im not an expert with hairstyles or anything but i searched that style up and man that looks good! i dont expect/want to have hair too short though- for me im feminine as fuuuuuu xD (and when i say i wanna crossdress- i will mostly be a femboy ;v; 💞)

and HECK YEAHH STIM SQUADD- whenever i get so excited my heart races so fast and i just cant stay still- and im so addicted to the feeling that i wanna feel it everytime- thank gosh its so easy to do that- i can just look back at posts where i recieved love and affection as well as look at posts of my OTP and BOOM- ID BE SCREAMING- XDD and when i became friends with you too is one of them like AAAA- i also ramble to larie and tree everything i love- and today i actually rambled to them about you! i hope that doesnt sound creepy or weird- i just ramble to them over E V E R Y T H ING that happens to me XDD 💞❤️❤💞❤❤️

AND HOLY CRAP- YOU PLAY MINECRAFT-- ok- ok o k- no n o im not falling for this again- every single time i meet someone who says they play minecraft- EVERY SINGLE PERSON I MEET- THEY HAVE BEDROCK while I ON THE OTHER HAND have JAVA LIKE WKHTOWJFOAJ no /nm xD - im not falling for it again- /J XDD tell me if you have bedrock or java- i wont get mad if you have bedrock but ill be so happy if you have java xD