#really though the 10 year old me was internally screaming hes one of my absolute favourites

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Spy x Family S2

Awww, I like that Bond Forger the Dog also gets an intro about HIS secret identity. Equal opportunity deceit

Are we finally going to learn who exacty Yor is fighting? I would like to know!

Been there Anya, I also had little patience for watching the news as as a kid. Though, it seems more important in a pre-internet era

"Okay, you can change the channel." Loid Forger, International Spy, defeated by one (1) sad look from his little daughter

"I absolutely cannot tell him that I got shot in the butt while fighting a group of armed men." 10/10 episode plot, I cannot wait

"I've been relying on her too much without realizing it, and it's upset her. Yes, that must be it! I must do everything in my power to remedy this at once!" Loid immediately blaming Yor's mood on himself and deciding he has to be respond by being a better husband!!! I will keep saying it. He is THE Husband. World's Most Husband

"Why don't we go on a date?" HEE HEE

Puzzling that Yor thinks she hasn't been on a date though, when I can think of at least three dates so far (party-grenade-proposal date, lunch date, and drinks-and-reassurance date)

"I can't leave Anya alone at home, and this is a very important mission to ensure that we remain one happy family." It seems Loid has learned from the spy transmission debacle

"Last night, I came up with 862 date plans to ensure that Yor has fun." He's insane. I want to give him a leetle kiss

HAHAHAHA Franky being absolutely thrilled to bother Loid and Yor on their date. What a friendship 💕

Intriguing that Anya's telepathy has a distance limit. Tell me more!

Honestly, Yor having to position herself in a specific way to avoid pain is relatable. We love a chronic pain queen

"This woman had built up an immunity to poisons." HAHAHAHAHA the poison fixing Yor's pain. Sometimes, drinking does solve your problems!

LMAOOOO them censoring the bomb components. A real "don't try this at home" moment

NOT THE BABY MAKING THE BOMB. ANYA PLEASE

"I'm going to forget all this and live a normal life." Perfect. Forgers reforming their enemies left and right

"If it's not too much trouble, please invite me out again sometime." Never let being married stand in the way of your husband becoming your boyfriend 🥰

SCREAM at Bond's perception of what Loid does for work. I guess he's closer to the truth than most:

"Are you trying to do this for your... no. Are you trying to get revenge for your friends who were experimented on?" HAHAHA is Loid blushing because he wants to call himself his dog's dad?

FBKFJHFFHKJHF Loid taking on Bond as his mission back-up. He truly can be swayed so easily

WHERE DID LOID GET A DOG-SIZED SKI MASK AHHAHAHA

I love the giant puppy spy sidekick, employ this dog ASAP

"While they're busy playing, I'm going to work hard to get to the top," said Damian Desmond, Six Years Old, for whom The Top was beating all the other little bougie first graders

"Your friendship... preciously elegant." Me whenever I finish hanging out with my friends

I love that Henderson-sensei sends the kids out on a picnic as a punishment. He really is as silly as he is strict

I don't know if this is a vegetarian thing or a cultural thing but it always seems wild to me how people in anime bite into fish, scales and all

"Did you know that the most recent studies in neuroscience suggest that your brain feels really revitalized when you're spacing out?" I like Mr. Green, Grizzled Navy Custodian, too

HAHA Damian trying his hardest to space out. Me when people tell me to practice mindfulness

"Oh, you don't [have a goal], eh? That's perfectly fine!" "Actually, I want to live my life eating lots of snacks." "Splendid! You'll have to think earnestly about how to make that possible." I take it back, I LOVE MR. GREEN

Ready to sob about this field trip actually. AHHHHHHH:

"Good evening, Mr. Vile Trash." ACAB; All Cops are (Weird) Brothers

"What's so wrong about trying to improve the country my family lives in?" Nothing but the hostile, paternalistic nationalism of a Cold War, Frank Perkin, Newspaper Sensationalist and Adult Bully of Wealthy Children

"I'll request that your father gets some financial aid to get by." I feel like that will not make up for imprisoning his son, Yuri, but whatever helps you sleep

"Blech." That's also how I feel about Weird Brother Yuri, Anya

"Revenge will only make you sadder. I'll make you forget about all that with my love." This is the plot of Naruto

Honestly, I was super sold on the Bondman Polycule when it was just him, his spy partner Agent M, and the enemy spy lady who had all linked arms together. I feel like this could work:

"How was anything he did gentlemanly?" Loid said: I'm a one-woman kind of spy

"Lord Damian, how could you possibly pick the joker there." "Shut up!' [Internally] She's so unfair... Damn it! I like to believe Loid might approve of Damian's crush purely because he is also willing to do whatever Anya wants if she makes one (1) sad face

Poor Anya. She's really most suited to using her street smarts

"Garden? The group of assassins who have been in this country for ages? They're basically urban legends, aren't they?" FINALLY we're finding out more about Yor's job!! They do in fact seem at cross purposes with the spies

[Loid already walking away] "He's such a heartless jerk." I bet you $5 he has already decided to help Franky LMAO

Update from 8 min later: Alright, I owe you $5, he didn't care

"Am I normal?! Oh, thank goodness!" said Yor excitedly, as if that were not a moderately suspicious response to being called normal

Excited for an ep with no double-barreled title. Plot progression!

I truly don't know where this falls on the spectrum of ways that anime will depict black and brown characters LMAO. Like Donovan Desmond, the Shopkeeper has an extremely haunting aura:

"You will be providing protection on this mission." Oooooh, change of pace!

"Is there actually any reason why I should continue my job as a killer?" A question every assassin should ask themselves, I think

"HQ may or may not be trying to cut back on our shady overtime practices." Incredible. I can't believe even the underground spy agency has PTO. I wonder who regulates spy labour law

"If not for this bodyguard job, the three of us could've enjoyed this vacation together." AWWW Yor loves her family so much

"You can say this is a gangster's destiny." [Reba voice] A single mom who works too hard, who loves her kid never stops!

"Papa! We need to hurry up and explore the ship before it sinks!" "It's not going to sink! Stop scaring everyone." The fact the staircase looks distinctly modelled after that one scene from Titanic really sells Anya's point

Loid incapable of framing having fun as anything but a mission ljggkjgj truly he might benefit from a Real Psychologist

"That family's just for camoflauge, right?" "Yes, you're right... Is... that true?" I love Yor slowly admitting that she loves her family for their own sake 💗

As Yor was declaring doing her best, I did worry briefly that someone was going to [redact] Olka. Other anime have been less kind to me than Spy x Family

I love Yor making another mum friend in Olka 💞 Gal pals

Finally saying suspicious things in public has a consequence!!

"It's been a while since we've had dinner without Mama." "Yeah, it's a bit lonely." Hee hee, Loid misses his wife

I love the immediate transformation in Yor's face as soon as Olka/Shaty says she didn't order room service

I don't have much to say but I am really entranced by the assassin vs. assassin + informant goings on!!

"I may not look it, but I'm a married woman, so I'll have to decline." Absolutely loving Yor quietly and efficiently beating these hitmen unconscious as she passes through the cruise ship

"Which is it?! Would normal parents buy their child something in this situation or not?!" Loid is incapable of making a decision without thinking about how it looks in relation to him being a spy. Anxiety king

[In Anya's mind] "Yor! You're an assasin who hates frogs? Let's get a divorce. The Forgers are done." Like father, like anxiety-ridden daughter

"I am a normal father. A good father," said Loid, which is frankly not usually something a good or normal father would say

"Papa, you're not excited at all." Loid defeated by one (1) six-year-old's piercingly accurate psychoanalysis

Loid is facing a true Psychological Battle: The Fitting Room

Anya Ultimate Wingman Award for convincing everyone her mum's battle is actually a circus act

Awwww, Zeb, Fake Husband to Olka, likes her. I hope this is a healthy experience in Yor seeing other fake couples work it out, but I do also think Zeb could mega-die

"As long we people continue to be people, conflict will never end." Alright, Director Doomsday, calm down

"What am I? What am I doing this for?" [B Eilish voice] What was I made foooooor?

"Does she hate me? Or is she just going through a rebellious phase?" Loid whenever one of the Forger girls looks upset: THIS MUST BE MY FAULT SOMEHOW

A hasty and confident NO to Assassin Sniff's whole vibes

We interrupt this program to think about how cute Loid and Anya are!! I love Loid entertaining Anya and also supporting her while he thinks she's missing Yor

"Nice, Mr. Husband!" Oh good, we love a bulletproof vest for Zeb!

Truly a wild juxtaposition of Forger Family Fireworks Night:

"This might be a bit late to ask, but would you consider just peacefully going home?" I love you, Compassionate Combat

I'm having a hard time believing all this will happen without Loid eventually noticing; the fireworks are long gone. I actually do hope Loid crashes her battle, Director Doomsday is out cold

"I'm doing this to support my family.... wait. I guess I am also doing this for money. But... no, I make enough to survive now. I'm hunting down bad guys for my country! For my country? Have I always been so righteous? What am I doing this for?" Poor Yor, this is like the worst possible time for an existential crisis

YOR AND LOID BOTH BEING MOTIVATED BY THEIR DESIRE FOR OTHERS TO LIVE A PEACEFUL LIFE 😭💘😭💘😭💘😭💘

[In Yor's flashback] "Be it for someone else, or for a specific reason, having to endure a merciless job... That's something to be very proud of." I'm sure Loid will acknowledge me. He'll forgive me. I like to think so too, Yor!!

Never mind to Loid helping Yor out, he is busy disarming a bomb threatening to sink them. This truly is the Titanic LMAO

LGLHGLGJHGLJHG Anya accidentally tripping the assassins so they shoot each other. Like mother, like daughter 💖

"You'll be able to enjoy the symphony of agonized screams and roars coming through the wiretaps on this ship." I can't wait for Loid to sink this guy with his own clock-bomb

Update from 30 seconds later: See? Self-owned and sunk

Awwwww Yor really does deserve the baby hug after the day she's had:

"I pray that, someday, you and your family will be able to find true peace." OLKAAAA

"I know it was an emergency, but I ended up casting my family aside again." Loid and Yor having the same crisis about whether to prioritize their family or their jobs 🥺🥺🥺

Loid's blush at Yor catching him skipping as he continues to skip over in her direction. Hee hee

"I hope peaceful days like this will continue forever." ME TOO, YOR!

Get you a mum who would secretly beat up sharks for you ❤️‍🩹

Setting aside how fun snorkeling is, absolutely terrible idea to go into the ocean with an open wound OMG

Loid carrying his whole family is the cutest thing I've ever seen, 10 bajilion/10zo; perfect:

[Internally] "You did a great job." Loid is in loooooove

"I can never tell if he's actually clever, or clumsy." Me either, Handler

Anya learning about the vacation disparity of rich kids LMAO

"If youre going to create a persona for yourself, you need to be strategic and commit." Not Loid turning this lie lecture into a spy lecture in his mind

"Lying is too much work, so I'll try not to do it anymore." Anya's entire set of adult role models do nothing but lie all the time, she really has no frame of reference for honesty

I do a little bit hate the Becky fantasizing about Loid thing, I have been Cardcaptor Sakura'd too much in life

NOT ANYA SELLING OUT HER MUM FOR THE POSSIBILITY OF BECKY BEING HER RICH SIX-YEAR-OLD STEPMUM OH MY GOD

I feel like they take a lot of liberties in translating "Loid-sama" as "my precious Loid" but hey, he is precious

"Yor's going to get the wrong idea, somehow." Loid has finally registered that this child is obsessed with him and he is only concerned for wife not thinking he's a freak. A good husband above all else

"I really don't understand the children of rich people." Me either, Loid

I need you to see Loid's face as Becky declares that this is his expression of love for Yor:

"Your heart is as vast as the sky, and you're stronger than the earth itself. You're the perfect lady." Correct, Becky! Yor is amazing

"I had some extra souvenirs left after handing them out to everyone else. Do you want them?" LMAO @ the implication being lost on Fiona that he doesn't even think of her enough to warrant her own souvenir

I will say, I really do resonate with the theme of the ep being Loid is Hot and Amazing to Everyone But No One Will Ever Measure Up to Yor in His Eyes

"Maybe you're too nice, and biting and barking don't really suit you." Everyone in the Forger family is too nice for their job, including Bond Forger, Precognitive Puppy

Awwww Bond trying to help out all the humans with his visions

LNKFHKFHKJFH Loid really just got reprimanded by his dog

"And he went into save [Daisy the puppy]? What an impressive dog!" I love the Spy Dad-Psychic Puppy tag-team ❤️

[Internally] "I am a cool-headed spy. I cannot let my emotions show." Loid remains deadpan through SO many things but his dog looking a little funny while wet is his limit. What a man!

"Don't push yourself too hard. There's someone waiting back home who would be sad if you died." 1) V sweet, dad first, hero second. And 2) This is the second time Loid has directly spoken to his life situation with a simultaneous thinly-veined dog metaphor

WAHHHHHHH Loid and Bond's heroics being acknowledged by Anya giving them little paper Stellas:

Yor immediately joining in and congratulating them for their hard work on their walk!!! I LOVE ONE (1) SPY X FAMILY 😭😭😭😭😭 IT'S A NICE SHOW

[baileypie-writes]

~My Thoughts on Wonderful Pretty Cure!: Episodes 36-40~

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This will be updated weekly, so be sure to come back if you want to see my thoughts on new episodes!

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Episode 36 - A Special Kind Of Wonderful:

I’m going absolutely feral. I’m crying, screaming, throwing up and everything else.

I’ve never been this happy for a Precure episode. This is definitely my favorite Wonderful Precure episode so far. And it may be my favorite episode in the entire franchise.

I can believe they’re canon. I really can’t. Pretty Cure does not have a good track record when it comes to romance(straight ones anyway). So I fully expected Toei to pull a Happiness Charge, and just make their relationship implied at the very end. But I was pleasantly surprised!

I was worried about how Iroha felt. From the preview, it wasn’t obvious. But I’m glad she realized her feelings! The chase scene leading up to the confession was beautiful. The animation, the atmosphere, the internal dialogue. I really felt Cure Friendy’s emotion.

I’m really excited to see her and Satoru’s relationship develop further during the rest of the series. Next episode looks really cute and wholesome, so I’m definitely excited.

My only concern at this point is Komugi. No one has explained romantic love to her yet. And on top of that, I’m worried that she’s gonna feel jealousy. It’s a pretty high probability. But I have high hopes for the outcome!

My rating for this episode:

10/10 - A+

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Episode 37 - A First Date With Everyone:

This episode was cute, though I expected better.

I really wished it focused more on Satoru and Iroha’s date. There was a lot of focus on the others. I was just super hyped for a purely date focused episode.

That being said, it was still super cute! I loved how awkward they were, but still happy. Iroha yapping about animals when she was nervous was so sweet.

My rating for this episode:

7/10 - C-

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Episode 38 - The Place Komugi Calls Home:

I was honestly terrified for this episode. I had no idea what to expect. But I was pleasantly surprised.

First off, I had no idea Komugi and Iroha had only known each other for 2 years. I assumed it would be more like 5. But whatever.

I had always assumed that before meeting Iroha, Komugi lived in Niko Garden. I thought the same for Yuki. But they could be just normal animals. I guess we won’t really know for sure unless the show reveals it.

I was really surprised when Iroha admitted to not wanting to give up Komugi. I definitely assumed she’d pretend to be okay with it, but the old man would allow her to keep her. I liked that part. It’s much more emotional and realistic to me. Also, I love that kind old man. He’s so nice to let them be together.

Finally, we got a teaser for Niko’s human form! I already got spoiled for it, but I’m still excited haha.

Next episode looks like it’s gonna be a major plot point. Not only is Niko’s human form probably gonna be fully revealed, but if I’m not mistaken, it looks like Komugi might get turned into a Garugaru!

My rating for this episode:

8/10 - B-

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Episode 39 - Niko Evolution:

This episode was pretty good! I was super excited!

We finally get the actual reveal of Niko’s true/human form! She’s so pretty! We also get the full reveal of Gaon. He looks really cool!

I was terrified when Komugi almost turned into a Gaogaon. But of course, she would be the one to break out of it. Good on her!

I’m really excited for next episode! It looks really fun. And hopefully, we’ll get more lore.

My rating for this episode:

7/10 - C-

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Episode 40 - The Great Wanyan Incident:

While this episode may have been completely pointless, I still loved it!

It was really random how they ended up turning into animals. The idea was clearly for cash grab reasons, but I don’t mind too much.

Iroha and Mayu’s animal designs are absolutely perfect! I’m not so sure about Satoru’s though…

Another thing, it was really random how the gang ended up at the shrine. There was no talk of it prior to this episode. We just open with them there.

Other than that though, I really liked this episode! I loved seeing the owners enjoy being animals. Satoru’s bit was definitely my favorite. He was so happy! We also even got a cute little moment between him and Iroha, which is always great.

There was also a little hint to Torame possibly reforming? Maybe? He likes playing with the Pretty Cure, and he’s always bored at home. So it’s possible!

My rating for this episode:

7/10 - C-

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Overall Score for These Episodes:

78% - C+

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~~baileypie-writes

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #107

I got lost in Blender all day today.

Well, no. That's not wholly true. I also wrote a little today. And also I made some food:

It's mushrooms sauteed in rendered bacon fat, and rice with black beans. I cooked the mushrooms, and J did the rice and beans. I ate these with a bit of that salmon I made recently. Or, well… mostly the skin of the salmon I made recently. Because J ate the salmon meat and left the skin, since he doesn't like the skin. But that's okay; the skin is my favorite part anyhow. My body craves collagen all the time, and I think it might be due to the Ehlers-Danlos, but I dunno.

…I have not eaten nearly as much as I should have today, so it's a little hard to think coherently enough to write to you. Got too lost in an attempt to do various things. This is the result of only going without eating for maybe 10 hours. How in the hell did you go for a whole freaking WEEK??? Don't EVER do that again, okay???

I have zero clues about what I'm doing. But I'm more scared for your safety than I am scared of what my brain likes to think it means about me when I try something new and I'm not immediately amazing at it. Got a lot of vicious self-criticism going on about my intelligence level and worth as a human being, stemming from years of traumatic one-trial learning and expectations of perfection imposed upon me by others until it was internalized. Still, I'd rather endure ten times my own inner critic than have you permanently stuck someplace where you're not safe, though. I'd rather live my whole childhood again. I'd rather live it 100 times over. I'd rather… gods…

…I wish I could just ask you to promise me that you'll make it through all this okay, that you'll try to fix all the things that got wrecked, that only a minimal number of people will be hurt, that someday you'll live in a peaceful place and learn all about what it's like to heal from a wretched set of life experiences, that someday you'll understand what it means to be happy and close with a diverse group of healthy-minded people who love you very much.

…If you truly are strong in the real way, then you'll be taking steps towards what I've described; Square Enix said you are the strongest ever, but that's only true if you grow past and become more peaceful and loving than even the most healed of those of us who have been traumatized. You will always be weaker than me if you do not reclaim your original kind and caring nature. But I'm not sure if the people of Square Enix are going to let you. So I have to do something. Anything… I…

I can't let it end for you like this. Not again. I was too small in 1997 when the original story came out, and too young and dumb in 2003, when I saw you for the first time, to do anything about it… Just like I was too small and powerless to do anything to protect my brother when we were living with my stepmother. Just like I was too small and powerless to do anything to protect my mother when her husband at the time was hurting her almost every night.

...Do you have any idea how traumatic it is to have to sit and watch as some kind person you've come to know, understand, and appreciate gets hurt, and not be able to do ANYTHING about it? No matter how much you cry, scream, beg, or try to bargain? I've been through this more than a few times with various folks, and I can say with absolute certainty that getting beaten hurts less. Do you have any idea how long 13-year-old me, defeated and powerless, wept for you after you were slaughtered?

…But I'm not powerless now. I will help you, somehow. Even if I don't really know how just yet. But I'll find a way. Even if I have to spend the rest of my life trying it, I…

…I should maybe start by doing a better job tomorrow of making sure I'm hydrated and fed. I'm not going to get anywhere if my brain is running on fumes. I gotta learn from your fail. I gotta do a little better. Not just for you, but for the people around me, and for everyone I've failed in the past as a result of all the things I didn't yet know and couldn't yet do…

I love you. Please don't get yourself killed; you gotta read tomorrow's letter. Okay? Promise me.

Your friend, Lumine

[zjedzgoffra]

By absolute complete accident I stumbled upon this plush in Germany and... I-I... I'd... I would die for you

[nevermindirah]

Yitzhak!

is a character! who Gregadiah What-Is-Math Rucka gave us almost no information about!

I've gone through Tales Through Time #6: The Bear and #1: My Mother's Axe with several magnifying glasses and done a lot of googling and taken my copy of the Tanakh off my shelf for the first time since (well, since the last time I needed to read Torah for TOG reasons, which I think was Booker Passover headcanons) and here's the best I can come up with.

In The Bear we meet someone who goes by the name Isaac Blue:

Read on for a lot of comic panel analysis and historical research and Jewish flailing!

So what do we know about this Isaac Blue person?

He's Lorge, he's got curly hair, he's basically a taller version of Joe as drawn by Leandro Fernández (ie an antisemitic stereotype why the fuck did they approve this character design?? and then why did they double down and copy-paste it to Yitzhak??):

He's got a mezuzah on the doorpost of his house in Alaska!

I screamed about the mezuzah way back in January in this post where I (very reasonably) assumed this character was Joe and spun myself a tale about how Booker is still Joe's brother so the mezuzah stays up even though Booker isn't welcome in that house for a century. Bottom line: the mezuzah is a tradition with origins in the commandment from Deuteronomy 6:9 to "write the words of G-d on the gates and doorposts of your house" and evolved over the course of the Rabbinic period into the modern mezuzah we see here.

I did unnecessary levels of google image search to glean absolutely no useful information about Yitzhak’s origins from this panel:

I've decided the variant cover of TTT 6 is Yitzhak because of a panel in My Mother’s Axe, shown here, and what's likely an unnecessarily deep reading of Exodus, discussed further down:

The person at the right of the bottom panel is wearing the same clothes as in the TTT 6 variant cover and has the same shoulder-length curly hair and hairy forearms.

Left to right, the people in this panel are Lykon (I'll never get used to him being white in the comics), Andy, Noriko (I think? why doesn't Andy mention her by name here?), and Yitzhak. Andy's robe has a stereotypically Greek design on the sleeve cuff, and I had to stop myself 10 minutes into a Wikipedia rabbit hole because Gregorforth doesn't think that deep about this shit. The solid clues as to timeline that we get in this panel are:

Andy's iron axe

the presence of Lykon, who Andy first met in 331 BCE

So all we know is that Yitzhak is an immortal, he was a contemporary of Lykon, and he's Jewish.

Isaac is the most common Anglicization of Yitzhak (which in turn is the most common Anglophone transliteration of יִצְחָק‎), and Greg always uses the (transliterated) Hebrew when he refers to this character. Yitzhak is the long-awaited child of Abraham and Sarah in Genesis, the child who G-d commanded Abraham to sacrifice but spared at the last minute. I see what you did there, Gregory.

Why Isaac Blue? This is where I pulled out my Tanakh. According to the New JPS translation, blue is the first of three colors of yarn listed in Exodus 35:6 among the gifts requested of the Israelites to construct the priestly garments for the Tabernacle and later the Temple. Then in Numbers 15:38 the Israelites are commanded to "make themselves fringes on the corners of their garments throughout the ages; let them attach a cord of blue to the fringe at each corner."

And now for sandbox timelines party! Gregadiah gave us ALMOST NOTHING to go on, so I'm gonna make my own fun.

I, like many modern Jews, think the stories in the Tanakh are foundational mythology that are valuable because of how they've shaped our people but that contain some fucked-up shit and either way aren't meant to be a record of historical facts. Modern scholarship generally agrees that the community we now call Jews emerged as a distinct group of Canaanites sometime in the late Bronze Age (cw this video's host says the Name of G-d aloud despite being a religious studies scholar who knows that is not a name anyone but the Temple priests are allowed to say). The first non-Biblical written record of the people Israel is from an Egyptian source c. 1200 BCE, and the Biblical kingdom of David and Solomon was probably an exaggeration of whatever really happened during the Bronze Age Collapse. We start getting into historical-fact territory a few centuries into the Iron Age:

588 BCE Solomon's Temple destroyed, Babylonian exile begins

538 BCE Cyrus of Persia allows Jews to return to Jerusalem

515 BCE Second Temple construction complete

332 BCE Alexander the Great At Something I Guess conquered Judea, beginning the Hellenistic period of Jewish history — 331 BCE Andy & Lykon find each other

167 BCE another jerkface Greek king desecrated the Temple and basically outlawed Judaism

164 BCE recapture of Jerusalem and Temple rededication during the Maccabean Revolt

70 CE destruction of the Second Temple by the Romans, beginning of the Rabbinic period of Jewish history that we're still in now

What if... and hear me out... what if immortals come in pairs, and the pairs are:

Andy & Quynh

Joe & Nicky

Booker & Nile

LYKON & YITZHAK

What if Yitzhak was a priest of the Second Temple? What if he and Lykon killed each other just like Joe and Nicky would in the same city around 1300 years later, but instead of enemies-to-lovers speedrun with an absurdly long happily-ever-after, when Lykon died permanently Yitzhak decided to separate from Andy and Noriko and become the hermit we later see in Alaska?

We don't know how old Yitzhak is compared to the others, only that he was a contemporary of Lykon at a time when Andy was using an Iron Age version of her mother's axe. Other plausible origins for him:

a Jew of the early Rabbinic period, maybe a child or grandchild of people who were still alive before the Second Temple was destroyed

a Judean of the Second Temple era under the Romans or Greeks or Persians, maybe a priest, maybe not

an exilee in Babylon, maybe of the generation who got to return, maybe of the generation who was exiled (he doesn't look like he was 50 at his first death but who knows, he could've been mortal for both)

an Israelite of the Kingdoms of Israel and Judah, maybe a priest of Solomon's Temple or again maybe not

an Israelite wandering in the desert with Moses

THEE Yitzhak, ben Avraham v'Sarah, our patriarch who was brought up for sacrifice and then spared, and then spared again, and then spared again, and again, and again...

or! he could also be a Canaanite or other Levantine who predates the people Israel, who at some point in his very long life chose to join our mixed multitude, who like Andromache before him (and like Avram and Sarai would in this case do after him) took a new name to reflect the magnitude of influence this people has had on him

Why do I keep saying Yitzhak might have been a priest? It's thanks to the one detail in the artwork I could plausibly connect to solid research without getting a PhD real quick. Take a look at the gorgeous detail on the opening of his robe in the TTT 6 cover. He's dressed in rags, holes and dirt everywhere, rough stitches probably from hasty repair work — except for the neck opening. Compare that to this description from Exodus 39:23 of the construction of the priestly garments for the Tabernacle: "The opening of the robe, in the middle of it, was like the opening of a coat of mail, with a binding around the opening, so that it would not tear."

The next verses describe the intricate designs for the hem of the priestly garment. Yitzhak's ragged garment looks like the hem was torn off entirely.

Am I overthinking this? Yes I am! You're welcome!

My friend and historical research hero @lady-writes​ is in a Discord server with Gregadiah and asked the man himself some questions about all this. He clearly thinks he's being sneaky?? No shit Yitzhak is Jewish, dude, I want DETAILS!

I will not be giving up my Jewish Booker headcanon, I've put too much thought into it by now, the internalized shame of antisemitism explains Booker's depression too well for me, and it just adds so much richness to Booker/Nile both being children of forced diasporas. Fortunately (for him, not me, bc I'd do it anyway!) Gregothy supports fan headcanons even when they're not in line with his own:

One last thing before I close like 100 research tabs and go back to writing historical fantasy and/or porn! I love that, despite that atrocious caricature of a face design, our canon Jew and our fanon Jew are both Lorge and Soft and Kind, flying the face of the antisemitic stereotype of Ashkenazi Jewish men as small and weak, but also not falling into the New Jew / Muscle Jew stereotype that Zionism created. (I am trying SO HARD not to talk about Israel/Palestine for once ughhhhhhhhhh) Anyway here's a (US-centric but very good) primer on both these stereotypes of Jewish masculinity. Is this why I'm forever projecting my transmasc diasporist feels onto Jewish Booker the service sub? 🤷🏻‍♂️

I’ll reblog a second version of this with full image descriptions so that there’s a version accessible for folks who need IDs as well as a version accessible for folks who get overwhelmed by walls of text.

[sweetchup]

Bi•valve

Noun

an aquatic mollusk that has a compressed body enclosed within a hinged shell, such as oysters, clams, mussels, and scallops.

AKA

The Most Common Seashell in the Ocean

————————

Vol. 1: Just Keep Swimming // Ch. 2

Type: Poseidon x reader

Word Count: 4,000+

Masterlist

————————

Sounds of horns and shouting filled the air outside as you stood on the packed bus. Cramped in from every side, it was hard for you to tell where you were going. Not as if you were paying much attention anyways.

“Okay, you left fish and pasta in the fridge… he could use the tv or read a book for entertainment while you are gone…what about…” You ramble incoherently to yourself.

Even though the storm hit Athens hard yesterday, your studio art professor was still having classes today. Forcing you to leave Triton alone at home. You shouldn’t be nervous. There was no reason to. After all, Triton is a god, he was hundreds of years old.

But…, he was still a child. No matter how old or what type of being he is. He could still possibly injure himself or get into trouble. And that single fact alone made you feel sick to your stomach.

“Is this how parents feel leaving their child alone for the first time…?” You groan to yourself, leaning your head forward so it hits the window in front of you.

“Now Approaching *Athens International School of Art*. I repeat, Now—“ The robotic voice announces over the intercom. At the familiar name of your college, you squeeze your way through the other patrons on the bus to make your way to the doors.

Sweet, sweet air, you think to yourself as soon as you exit the bus. It was starting to get way too cramped in there. So much so, you wondered if it was a safety hazard. Though it wasn’t as if you were one to talk, you left a little boy alone—

“Argh!” You scream out, slapping the cheeks of your face. You needed to stop thinking of Triton. He was going to be completely fine. But, what if…

“I’m getting too attached already…” You groan to yourself. It had only been a day. One singular Day. But you were already smitten by the blonde haired child. “It doesn’t help that he's absolutely adorable as well…”

“Who’s adorable?” A voice calls out from behind you, making you jump in surprise. Whipping around, you let out a sigh once you identify who it was.

“Bryce… how many times have I told you not to sneak up on me like that…”

Bryce Kroger. He was studying abroad at Athens International School of Art for a year just like you except he was instead an architecture major. You met him by coincidence while taking art history so you didn’t know much about the guy, the only thing being the few stories he told you about his home country of Australia.

“Oi! It’s not my fault you're so skittish!” Bryce banters back with a huff.

“Whatever…”

“Eh? Wait, where you heading?” Bryce questions as he watches you walk away, “I thought you had Studio Art on Fridays?”

“I do. I’m heading to the library first though.” You yell back to the tall male who stayed put where he was standing. Not even bothering to follow you.

“You need to stop studying so much!”

“Shut up!”

“IT’S THE TRUTH!”

“SHUT UP!” You scream back with one final huff before storming off. So what if you studied so much. You just wanted to get good grades in the classes that counted. It’s how you got here in the first place. By working your ass off.

Unconsciously, you feel your hand twitch as you open the library door. So what if you spent hours studying. So what if you didn’t go out with friends that often. So what if you didn’t have a social life. So what—

You feel yourself pause, your expression turning sour. Lonely. That’s what you were. You were lonely. A miserable lonely girl.

“Miss!”

Startled out of your thoughts by the sudden call, you realize you were no longer standing at the front door but instead standing in front of one of the librarians. You must have unconsciously walked up to the front desk while you were lost in thought.

“A-Ah. Sorry, I was just looking for books on Leonar—“

You feel your voice trail off at the end as a book on the counter catches your eye. It wasn’t the gold detailing nor the leather texture. No. It was the simple words of “Greek Mythology: Tales of Zeus” printed neatly on the front.

“…Actually, Do you perhaps have any books about Poseidon?”

You just found something better to do with your time.

—.—.—.—.—

“Damn… this is extremely confusing…” You mumble to yourself as you glare at the pages of notes in front of you. Each book seemed to be a little bit different from the last. “Perhaps I should recap…”

Okay, so what makes sense to you is that Poseidon is the second eldest of three brothers and is the ruler of the seas. The things that don’t make sense are… practically everything else…

You weren’t sure if you wanted to cry or scream out of frustration right now.

According to the books, Poseidon has had many consorts over the years. One of them being Triton’s mother, Amphitrite…

“My mother… can be quite mean to other women. Even to some of the female servants around the palace. She believes that they are trying to seduce my father…”

…but that doesn’t match up with what Triton mentioned last night. According to him, it sounds like Amphitrite scared away any women that would even come near Poseidon. This also leads to another flaw in the mythology books. You doubted that Poseidon would be able to have an affair with any other women with Amphitrite antics, nevertheless have 10 other children with them.

“Triton also never mentioned having any other siblings…”

Letting out a groan, which you seemed to be doing a lot today, you banged your head against the table. It seems like these mythology books weren’t going to be of any help after all. Though…. you couldn’t help but wonder why the books were so off in the first place.

Lifting yourself back up from the table, you glare down at one of the book covers. It was blue, almost silvery in a way, with a giant black silhouette of Poseidon right smack dab in the middle. Or, at least, what Poseidon might look like…

“Well, my father is extremely strong and handsome. All the sea nymphs stare at him with big heart eyes half the time. Oh! B-but, father doesn’t pay any attention to them. Father is not a cheater like uncle Zeus…”

“…Is Father…? Oh. He’s alright… He’s nowhere as bad as my mother. He’s never hit me or anything. He’s just… cold. Extremely cold. He really just ignores me half the time…”

“…I do love my father…I just wished he would at least spare me a glance…you know?…Acknowledge his own son…”

“God damn jerk!” You hiss out in anger as you push the book aside. Your blood practically boiling at even the slightest thought of Triton’s father, Poseidon. He doesn’t deserve to have such a good and nice son like Triton.

However, as much as you want to curse out Poseidon more, you realized class would be starting soon and you really had to get a move on.

“Shit. I can’t afford to be late again.”

—.—.—

“Ugh. Why did the professor have to assign me this type of painter…?!” You whined to Yuri. Class had already ended by then with the professor long gone. The only people left were students that were conversing with others or trying to get a head start on their paintings.

“Well, it didn’t help that you barged into class late for the second time this week, (y/n).” Yuri explained with a sigh as she continued to set up her palette, not even sparing you a glance.

Yuri Saito, Or rather Saito Yuri, was an abroad student from Japan. She was the closest person you knew at the college as you both were similar in many ways. Especially since you were both homebodies.

“I get that but at least I showed up in the fir—“

“(Y/n)!” A voice shouts out interrupting your talk with Yuri. You turn around to see Bella Woods, a student apart of your major, approaching you. “(Y/n). You were part of your student council back in high school right?”

“Uh, Yeah. Why?” You answered hesitantly. You weren’t sure why, perhaps instincts, but you were already having a bad feeling about this situation.

“Well I need your help on something…” Bella explains, her voice trailing off at the end as she grabs something from her bag. It’s a piece of paper, a flier to be exact.

“A…A Cultural Festival?”

Bella nods her head at your words, “Yeah. The college wanted to put something on for the public to show what our art school is all about and Mrs. Yamamoto suggested this. A-Apparently, it’s something schools and colleges do back in Japan.”

“B-But how can I help? Wouldn’t it make sense for someone like Yuri to do this? Since she’s from Japan and all.”

It was the truth. You didn’t know a single thing about japanese culture festivals.

“Hey don’t drag me into this, I’m busy.” Yuri counterbacks with a glare before returning back to her painting.

“Well… you see… The school wanted to change Mrs. Yamamoto’s idea a bit since they really didn’t know anything about Japanese Cultural festivals either. So it’s like a Cultural festival, kind of not.” Bella rambled. You could tell all this information was scrambling her brain as well. “Basically, it’s like a Greek version of a Cultural festival where each major picks a Greek god and plans an event or booth around it.”

“…Okay… So it’s just like a school festival in a way?” You questioned cautiously. This was a lot for you to take in at once.

“Yes. Precisely. We are just taking inspiration from Cultural festivals.”

“Okay. Okay…” You answer as you rub the back of your neck, “I still don’t understand why you need me though?”

“Well, I kind of… kind of saw you reading the mythology books in the library today and we need more people on the planning committee…” Oh, god. It seems like everything is coming back to bite you in the ass, “…Just. Please (y/n), We need your help!”

You let out a small sigh as you watch Bella give you a pleading look, “Fine…”

“Yay—!“

“But…“ You start cutting off Bella’s cheers, “But I’m taking care of something really important right now at home so I can’t always make meetings and things like that. I can help with planning but that’s it. Okay?”

That was correct. As much as you wanted to help Bella and your department out with this festival, Triton was your top priority right now. His care and needs were above all else right now, even your own. So if this would get in the way of that then you would drop this project instantly. Instantly.

“Of course! Oh, thank you (y/n)!” Bella cheers, her body visibly relaxing now that a stress has been taken off your shoulder, “Well, I’m not sure if you're busy right now but… the committee is currently planning two classrooms down… so if you could…”

“I’ll go…” You sighed out. Damn, what’s with you lately. Less than two days ago, people hardly approached you. Now you are as busy as a bee. A person magnetic… Well, more like god magnetic as wel—

Wait, a minute. You feel yourself tense up as a thought flies into your brain. If Gods could travel and spend time on earth, could they live here as well? Just like how Triton wants to?

Shit. What if some that live here are able to identify Triton? You could be in big troub—

“(Y/n)? Are you coming?” Bella calls, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Y-yes.”

It seemed you would have to worry about that later. Not that it mattered right now, you could always just ask Triton when you got home. And even if he didn’t know the answer you would just have to be careful bringing him out of the house. Yeah… you would just do that.

“Guys, I would like to introduce you to (y/n). She’s a fine arts major just like us and knows about mythology. I think she would make a great addition to our group.” Bella introduces you as you enter the room. As you looked around the group of only 4 other people, you realized you really didn’t know anyone.

That is until everyone started to introduce themselves. You never heard of the first three—Brian, James and Kyle—but you found the last name, Marissa Samudra, quite familiar. You wonder if she was that Marissa.

Who you were talking about was Marissa, the hottest girl in school Marissa. Well, at least that’s what all the boys in your major told you. The girl in front of you at least seemed to fit the part. With white silk like skin, light green eyes and dyed coral pink hair, she truly was a sight to see.

“Okay. So shall we get started.” James suddenly spoke up, seeming to want to get the meeting started. You nodded your head in agreement before taking a seat next to Holly. As well as across from Marissa. “Well, I think we should first decide which god we should do. Culinary, Music, Visual performing arts and architecture already have chosen Aphrodite, Hades, Ares and Zeus. (Y/n)…”

You lift your head up at the call of your name.

“…as you know the most about Mythology, who do you think we should pick?”

“Well,…” You feel yourself pause, your palms growing sweaty out of nervousness. You really didn’t know that much about Greek Gods, only the class you took last year and the books you skimmed this morning. You also didn’t expect so many of the main gods to be taken already.

“…How about…”

You needed to think of someone fast. Someone that would satisfy all parties here. Someone that would bedazzle people coming to the festival.

“…Poseidon…?”

Why… Why was that what your brain had come up with? Poseidon? The very god that you were cursing out this morning. Wishing near death upon.

“Fish man?” Brian questioned, letting out a small chuckle at his own joke, “You really want to go with Fish man as our god? Isn’t there anyone better?”

“I think Poseidon is pretty…cool.” You feel a shiver go up your spine as you compliment the man. It was official, you might actually puke. “…He’s the king of the seas. It gives us a lot to work with for his character. Especially since most Fine Arts students are good at realistic elements, we could really do well on painting or using sea life.”

“True… but—“

“I think it’s a wonderful idea.”

You are shocked as you hear Marissa cut Brian off. When you first sat down, she seemed totally uninterested in the topic at hand. Caring more about her hair and nails than anything else. But now, now, she was paying attention to every little thing. You couldn’t help but wonder why. “Oh sorry. I really like the sea. It holds a special place in my heart… you know?”

Oh, that makes sense. You totally forgot Marissa’s paintings were mostly about the ocean and sea. Never drifting off to other topics.

“N-no. That’s actually pretty cool. You know what, we should totally do Posedin… or whatever the dude’s name is. He sounds really cool.” Bryan agrees as he bashfully rubs the back of his neck. Gross, could he make it any less obvious that he was smitten by her. And not in a nice way either.

You feel yourself shiver as you watch him sneak small glances down at Marissa’s chest area. Disgusting pervert…

“Well, with that decided let’s move on…”

…Great… You could already tell this was going to be a long meeting…

—.—.—.—.—

Again, for what felt like the hundredth time today, you banged your head against the wall. This time however it was against the door of your apartment.

“Seriously… a Café…?”

Yes, a Café. That’s the brilliant idea your group came up with. An under the sea type themed café.

In hindsight it didn’t sound all that bad. You could have a couple of students paint some props and decorations. Then another couple of students who know how to cook plan out the menu. Maybe even borrow some culinary students if you were lucky.

But,… there’s that.

Outnumbered three to two, the boys of your group insisted the girls that are serving customers should wear togas. Togas. They stated it was to bring in more customers but it was pretty obvious they had other intentions behind it. Especially since they didn’t even bother waiting a couple of minutes afterwards to ask if Marissa wanted to be part of the waiting staff.

“Poor girl… I feel bad for her.” You mumble to yourself as you pull out your keys, finally unlocking the door to your apartment. You wished you could just beat all those men senseless with a baseball bat. “That’s actually not a bad idea… Could I bring a wooden club and say that it's part of the character? They seem to not know that much about—“

“Miss (y/n)!” You hear shouted as something comes barreling into you. Knocking you onto the ground right as you enter your apartment. “O-oops I meant to only say (y/n)…”

Even though you got the air literally knocked out of you, you still let out a small chuckle as you reached up to run a hand through the perpetrator’s locks. Triton’s blonde locks. “It’s okay. I only told you this morning to stop referring to me so formally. It will take time for you to get used to it.”

Suddenly, you wince at a feeling of pain as you move slightly. Triton sure was strong. You, honestly, wondered if he held back some strength when he jumped at you. If so, you wondered how strong Triton was nonetheless an adult god.

Speaking of an adult god…

“Hey Triton.” The boy lifts his head up at your call, “Do any gods live on earth?”

The boy seemed to take a moment to think, “Well kind of? Not really Greek Gods though. Most of them are too proud to live with humans.”

“Oh well that’s goo— Wait, a minute! Other gods are real as well!?”

Triton nods his head furiously, “Yeah pretty much all gods. As long as it is considered as one, it exists. There’s Nordic gods…, Indian gods…, Oh! Even Buddha. I like Buddha, even though I’ve only met him once. He introduced me to salt water taffy! It’s delicious.”

“I-I see…I’ll try to get you some then. Another time.” As much as you wanted to hide your surprise you couldn’t. Learning that Greek Gods actually existed was one situation but learning that All Gods existed was a whole nother ball game. Did that mean demons existed as well?

“Hey (y/n). Could I ask you a question?” Triton asks, suddenly seeming bashful all of a sudden.

“Sure. What’s up?”

“Could I…” Triton pauses for a moment, “Could I call you…”

You leaned closer to Triton as his voice slowly got softer and softer at the end. His ears and cheeks were bright red as he waited for you to answer. However, you couldn’t answer him as you didn’t hear the last part of what he said.

“I apologize. Could you repeat what you said, Triton? I couldn’t hear the end of it.” You felt bad for asking him to repeat it as his face only seemed to get even more red when you asked.

“I-I… Could I call you… Mom?”

It was silent as his question, or rather request, fell upon your ears. You thought about it for a moment. Especially whether it was morally right for you to have him call you ‘mom’. Even if his true mother was a terrible person, she was still his mother.

Though, then again, She really didn’t act like his mother. Especially in all her hundreds of years of existence of having him. At least from what you’ve heard from Triton. She’s had plenty of chances to show her love for him and she never did.

“Of…Of course you can.”

You feel yourself smile as Triton’s face lit up. And you knew, Deep down inside, that you did the right thing. You would show this boy the love he deserved.

“Hey (Y— Mom.” You giggle at how Triton seemed to practically beam with happiness once the title left his lips.

“Yes, Triton?”

“Could we have dinner right now?”

You feel yourself jump up a little in surprise. Since you stayed later than what you usually would, due to the meeting, you didn’t have anything prepared ahead of time for dinner.

“Ah, yes. Do you think you could wait in the living room while I prepare it?”

“Of course!” Triton answers as he scrambles up off of you. As you make your way to the kitchen—which was technically in the same room as the living room—to start dinner, you find yourself drifting off into your thoughts.

You realized you really hadn’t thought this through. Taking care of Triton and all. Your apartment was small, he didn’t have his own room, he seemed to eat a lot more than a human boy his physical age and so much more.

You wouldn’t be able to buy a bigger apartment right now. Going through college and all. But you could take more shifts at work. After all, it was literally down the street. You were also good friends with the owner of the toy shop next door. You bet he would allow Triton to play with a couple of toys while you worked.

As you continue to list things you would need to take care of Triton especially if it was long term, Triton was watching cartoons on the couch.

“…Wonder cats will be right back!…”

As the show goes to commercial break, Triton feels himself let out a sigh. Television sure was awesome and all, much better than the plays and coliseum matches used to entertain gods, but he despised ads more than anything.

“Who in the world created such a malicious thing…”

Triton’s voice trails off at the end as the ad changes to another. As he stares at the screen, he feels a shiver shoot down his spine. As quickly as he could, Triton changes the channel to another before shakily dropping the television remote. A cold sheen of sweat breaks out all over his skin as he collapses back onto the couch.

To anyone else, the commercial before looked like any normal hair dye commercial seen on Tv. But not to Triton. Especially when he saw something oh so familiar.

“T-that hair color…” Triton feels himself shiver at the thought, “L-looked too much like Aunties. Mom’s…No…

…Amphitrite’s Sister.”

Author Note: Ahhh this chapter contained so much but I knew I couldn’t split it up. Especially if I was doing posting Tuesdays and Thursdays. I was worried that the time frame in between would mess my readers up. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this Chapter. I know there wasn’t a lot of Triton moments but I wanted to get the ball rolling on the plot so that things and certain characters (*cough* Poseidon *cough*) will appear soon. Well that’s it for now, see you next time :)))

Taglist: @angeli-fucking-cat @marixxhq

[ohsnapcracklepopfriends]

Here it is friends. Part one of my Taylor-Swift-nostalgia induced carraville fic. I will be writing a short part two but I figured I’d get this up now and it could be read on its own at this point. I haven’t proof read it so please excuse any mistakes but I hope you enjoy!

Jamie undid his tie. It was a plaid tie, blue instead of red to suggest his neutrality. It was a good day or at least it should’ve been. Liverpool beat Everton two to one, he’d had a good show (no one was harassing him on Twitter yet and Gary had made a few mistakes, Jamie thought that qualified a pretty good show), and he had a date at eleven. He should be fucking buzzing but Jamie just feels the idle hum of numbness. Even the five-goal thriller that was their first game of the night hadn’t got his heart pumping like it used to. 

Gary walked in silently, startling Jamie who quickly pulled on a jumper. Not that his state of dress mattered, Gary’s eyes stayed glued to the floor. He walked to the far corner of the dressing room to change out of his suit, as far away from Jamie as possible.  He hadn’t said a word to Jamie all night when the cameras weren’t rolling. It hurt. Especially when Gary was so good at acting like everything was fine when the commercial break ended. He even fooled Jamie a few times.

Kelly knocked on the door, making sure they were both decent, before walking in to say goodnight. Jamie watched as Gary smiled at Kelly, as he laughed with her about something. Jamie used to do that: make Gary laugh. Kelly turns her attentions to Jamie. She compliments him on his interview tonight and asks him where he and Tom are going for their date. 

“It’s quite late,” she comments, “you can’t really be going to dinner.” Jamie give her a fake laugh. 

“I’ve got a reservation and everything Kells. We’re going to that new vegan place. He’s picking me up.” You heard that right: vegan. Because on top of everything, Tom fucking cared about animals and the environment. Jamie wasn’t complaining too much, though. He could suffer through some tofu if it meant not having to go to Gary and his old haunts. 

“Ooh!” Kelly said, “do I get to meet him? Redknapp keeps talking about how lovely he is, I figure I could judge for myself.” Ah, yes, Redders. Running into Redders had been an accident. They managed to bump into him at the golf course the week before. Tom was good at golf, unlike Redders, as much as he tried to be. Tom gave him a few pointers, helping Redders fix his posture for his swings. They ended up playing a whole round together while Jamie played ping-pong with an eight-year-old girl in the clubhouse. Redders hadn’t shut up about how Tom’s wonderfulness and his perfect swing since. Jamie nodded at Kelly. He figured he couldn’t do any more damage. 

The three of them stood in the parking lot waiting for Tom’s car to pull in. He wasn’t late of course, he never is, they just got out earlier than anticipated. Gary had tried to skitter off to his car but Kelly practically dragged him back up on the curb. Gary, despite trying to put on an agreeable face, looked about as miserable as Jamie felt. Jamie thought he was slightly better at hiding it though. 

At 10:59 Tom’s blue Volkswagen pulled in. One minute early. He wore a nice checked shirt with the first few buttons undone. His hair and shirt were miraculously crisp and clean after a full day of work. He looked like a fucking god with his symmetrical face, sharp bone structure, and straight nose. Kelly certainly took note of that. “Our Carra is a lucky man!” She whispered before going over to Tom to introduce herself. Tom shook her hand and complimented her dress which, to be fair, was a very nice floral pattern. 

Tom stuck his hand out for Gary to shake. “Hello Gary, my name’s Tom. It’s nice to meet you.” Gary takes a minute to collect himself and takes Tom’s outstretched hand giving it a firm shake. 

“It’s nice to meet you as well.” It sounds remarkably fake, of course it does, but Tom doesn’t seem to notice. He just turns towards Jamie with a perfect smile. 

“You have such lovely friends, Jamie. It was nice to meet you both.” Jamie wasn’t so sure about that but played along and let Tom walk him to the car. Tom opened Jamie’s door for him before walking around to get in himself. He saw Kelly sling an arm around Gary’s shoulders as they drove away. Jamie took a deep breath and remembered it was all for the best. He reminded himself that this was what he wanted: stability. He didn’t want to fight anymore. The words Gary had said that night still rung in his ears. He was sure his own snarls were not forgotten either. 

It started to rain as they parked but Tom had an umbrella. Gary never had an umbrella. You’d think that living in Manchester he’d learn to at least keep one in his car. Instead, he resorted to sprinting away from the rain as fast as he could trying to avoid the rain, he wasn’t as fast as he used to be. But Tom was prepared, he always was. He held the umbrella for the both of them as they walked around to the front of the restaurant. 

“James, try the torte it’s quite delicious.” Jamie hated being called James. Absolutely hated it. Not when Gary said it though. His stupid manc accent stretched the vowels into velvet. When Gary said it he felt special. Tom’s polished London accent made him feel posh, pretentious, and twatty. James. Ugh. It was like the word torte. It’s a fucking cake, just call it what it is. Jamie took a bite of the torte. It was good if you ignored the aftertaste of soya in the frosting, a little dry, but Jamie nodded his head like it was an orange mcflurry. He let Tom finish the dessert. 

They’re in the car. Tom’s dropping Jamie off at his apartment. Tom must have noticed that Jamie had been quiet and switched the topic to something a little more in his wheelhouse: football. They were talking about England and possible squads for the upcoming international break. Tom started talking about moving Kyle Walker into midfield and Jamie couldn’t take it. 

“That’s bollocks. Where is the one place on the field where we actually have players? Fucking midfield. Gareth’s drowning in defenders but not experienced ones. Playing Walker in midfield fucking undermines Henderson and leaves the young centrebacks overexposed.” Tom laughs for some reason. Jamie doesn’t find it funny.

“Well, you would certainly know.” This is what you want, he reminds himself again. Peace, calm, stability. This is happiness. But, fuck, Jamie missed Gary. He missed the challenge. He missed the little crease between Gary’s eyes. He missed Gary’s squeaky voice when he gets worked up. He missed fighting and bickering with Gary over things that didn’t matter. He missed screaming at Gary and Gary screaming back. He missed the really hot sex they’d have after such screaming matches, making Gary scream in a different, more satisfying way. He missed Gary’s laugh, his smile. It seemed to Jamie that neither of them have smiled much since that day. Jamie thought that smiling didn’t seem worth it if Gary wasn’t smiling back. 

Jamie checked his phone. It was nearing 1 am. He had a handful of messages from Kelly. Jamie didn’t want to read about how great she thought Tom was, he fucking knew that Tom was great. On paper, he was fucking perfect. The perfect boyfriend. The dream guy. Not for Jamie though. He dreamed of an angry, passionate, crazy, wonderful manc. He opened his messages anyways though, figuring Tom would want to hear what Kelly thought about him. 

Jamie. I know you’re on your date but we need to talk. Can you call me? It’s about Gaz. The first one read.

He’s at mine. Really upset. He said not to talk to you so I figure you know what’s going on. That sounded about right. Kelly caring more about Gary’s well being than Gary himself. Gary was too stubborn to care. 

Call me please. The last one read. Fuck. They’d made a mess of things. Not only had they made a mess of themselves, but they’d also dragged the others into it. 

“Can you pull into that park up there?” Jamie asked Tom. He nodded and turned down the radio, waiting for Jamie to say something more. He didn’t though. Not until he got out of the car and puked some partially digested salad in the grass. Tom came over to him and rested his palm on Jamie’s mid back. Gary used to pet his hair, carding his fingers through it, on those mornings after he’d had a little too much to drink. 

Jamie laid on his back in the middle of the parking lot. The rain soaked through his thin shirt in seconds. Tom looked down at him concerned. “I can’t do this, Tom. You’re so lovely. I mean you’re so fucking lovely but I just can’t—”

“I get it, James. You’re still in love with him.” The bastard still looked perfect even drenched with rain. Jamie guessed that he probably looked like a drowned rat. Jamie must have been giving him a confused look because he laughed and explained further. “I saw the way you used to look at him on the tele like he’s the fucking sun. I saw the way you looked at him tonight like being around him was tearing you apart. Besides, I’m pretty sure half the nation knew there was something going on there.” Jamie laughed at that. They had been pretty obvious. And not just Gary, apparently. Apparently, he was just as open of a book. He needed to call Kelly. 

She picked up after three rings. “Hi Carra,” she whispered, “needed to get out of the living room, Gaz’s sleeping on my couch.”

“Is he okay?” Jamie asked, not really wanting to hear the answer. 

“He’s a wreck, Jamie. He misses you.” I miss him too, Jamie didn’t say, so much. 

“Can I come round?” Jamie asked. Kelly said yes so long as Jamie can get Gary the hell out of her living room and gave Carra her address. 

Thankfully, Kelly’s place was nearby, about a mile away. Jamie didn’t know where he got the energy considering he was dead on his feet a few minutes before, but he ran there as fast as he possibly could. His water-filled shoes squished loudly with every step. He got there in seven minutes and was panting heavily when he knocked on the door. Kelly let him in wordlessly. 

Gary was still sleeping on the couch when he walked into the living room. Kelly gave him a nod and walked into the kitchen. Jamie kneeled next to Gary and cupped his cheek with his palm. Jamie hadn’t realized how much he’d missed that simple feeling. Gary’s forehead was still crinkled in his sleep. His eyes were dark like he hadn’t slept much. Jamie hadn’t either. It was hard to sleep alone, without Gary’s comforting weight on his chest. Jamie took Gary’s hand from where it was tucked under his chin and intertwined their fingers. The weight of Gary’s hand in his set relief running through Jamie’s body. Gary started to stir at that. 

“James?” Jamie smiles at that. His stupid name sounds beautiful coming from Gary’s mouth. His eyes weren’t even open yet and Gary already knows it’s him. “What are you doing here?” He opened his eyes slightly but upon seeing Jamie they were wide open. Gary’s eyes were red and bloodshot. Jamie just wanted to yank him into his arms and hug him forever. 

“What are you doing here, you muppet? Bothering Kelly at 2 am?” Jamie said playfully. Gary flushed slightly. “Come on, Gaz. Let’s get you home.” He grabbed Gary’s hand to pull him up. Gary stumbled when he tried to take a step. Carra looked down at the empty beer bottles and figured that was why. He grabbed Gary’s arm and slung it over his shoulder. Gary’s head rested in the crook of Jamie’s neck, his soft breathing tickling at the skin there. 

“Kelly,” Jamie called softly into the kitchen, “we’re leaving.” She came out to stand in the doorway in her fluffy, pink bunny slippers that Jamie had somehow not noticed before. Jamie thought he should get Gary a pair. 

“Set an alarm,” she said, “he wakes up early. Don’t let him bolt.” Jamie figured Gary wouldn’t be racing out of his apartment at 5 am with the hangover he was sure to have but it was still a good idea. Gary was an unpredictable, stubborn bastard at times. Jamie thanked her and helped Gary down to his car. 

It was still pouring when they got out of the building because clearly the gods wanted Gary to either sober up or catch his death. Thankfully, in his upset Gary had forgotten to lock the car meaning Carra didn’t have to fumble around for his keys in the current weather. Except, that Gary wouldn’t get into the car. He sprawled his limbs over the door so Jamie couldn’t push him inside. 

“Gary, if you don’t get your arse in that car, I’m going to leave you out here to drown.” Obviously, he wasn’t serious but he figured that Gary might be drunk enough not to know that. Gary just smiled up fondly at him and stayed put. 

“I love you,” he said, looking like the most radiant, beautiful thing Jamie had ever seen in his life. His hair was a mess, stuck down to his forehead. His cheeks were bright red from a mix of alcohol and the cold. His eyes were still red but god they held all the love in the world. Jamie could see that somehow, after everything, Gary still loved him, truly loved him. After all the things he said, screamed, did, this man--this beautiful man--still loved Jamie every ounce as much as Jamie loved him. It didn’t matter what he should want, he wanted Gary and all of his adorable, infuriating flaws. His recipe to happiness was just that: his own. He didn’t need stability, calm, peace. He needed to feel something. 

Jamie cupped his face for the second time that night. He ran his thumb over Gary’s wet, stubbly cheeks. Jamie couldn’t help himself. He kissed Gary with all of the kisses they’d missed in the past two months. The two months of pain, loneliness, desolation. He kissed Gary with all of the love he had in his cold, wet body and Gary did the same. Gary moved slower than Jamie, less frantically but no less enthusiastically. Gary clutched at his jacket like a vice, unwilling to let go. Jamie moved his hands around Gary’s body. He wanted to make sure that everything was still as he remembered it. And it was. Of course, it was. He had Gary in his arms, it didn’t matter that the rain had picked up. Though, he was sure he’d hear about the soggy interior of Gary’s car in the morning. He pulled away reluctantly for breath and rested his forehead against Gary’s.

[themonkeycabal]

Wandavision Ep 5 Spoilers

Wherein I watch Wandavision at a stupid hour of the morning because I do not sleep like a regular human being, and sometimes I have things to say.

Previously on Wandavision, we all discovered that Darcy Lewis and Jimmy Woo were the BFFs we never knew we needed and now can't live without. Also Wanda reminded us that she's really scary.

We should be in the 80s now, right? Ahh the 80s. Leg warmers, Aquanet, and MTV.

Baby shenanigans with crying twins. Wanda tries to magic them to sleep and it doesn't work. "Maybe we just need some help." And in pops Agnes without waiting for them to answer the door. As you do in a sitcom hell. She's got a headband and leg warmers on and is on her way to jazzercise. Of course. Is the point of Agnes to really anchor us in a decade? Asking for real. She's very "this is the era, and these are the tropes, let's all play along now."

Vision is very protective of the babies, to such a degree and with such intensity that Agnes literally forgets her line and nervously asks Wanda if she wants her to take that again. Well, then. Agnes very super a lot does not want to be wished to the cornfield. 

The babies stopped crying during the whole "should we do this scene again" interlude. Vision noticed the weirdness and is trying to figure out what's going on, Wanda is trying very hard to pretend everything is normal. Agnes is being super duper bizarre in the background. And suddenly the twins are like three years old. Agnes has given up and got into the liquor. I don't blame her.

Opening credits. Okay, I'm sorry, 'baby' Vision is almost more stupidly funny than I can take. Like … what? I think I want that as my new icon, though. Also the credits are too long. I think they were very proud of their theme song, so we have to hear it all. These are my least favorite so far. Very 80s, but meh.

In the real world, Monica is getting x-rays and giving a report on being yeeted from Wanda World.

Jimmy Woo and Darcy are there to greet her at the end of the exam. "This is Doctor Darcy Lewis." Yes, she is! Still very proud. She's also the doctor of encouraging people to wear pants, shoving a pair at hospital gown-clad Monica. Erik's no-pants phase was very scarring.

The medic comes back and says the medical tests didn't work or something. The medic wants to do x-rays again because the first came back blank and also she's going to have to do another blood draw. Hmm. Monica is still somehow affected by Wanda World? Unclear on how that would work. Some sort of weird witchy radiation-like energy? Monica says 'no' to more needles and also wants to put pants on. Just let the woman have her pants.

Now we're on to a briefing with the acting Director of SWORD whose name I don't remember. He's very "government suit" bland, I have a hard time caring about anything he says. Also, does anybody else pronounce the 'w' in SWORD in their head when they read it? Like I cannot make my brain stop doing that. "s-WUH-ord'.

"Our initial theory had Wanda Maximoff as one of many victims. We now know she is the principle VICTIMIZER!" Settle down there, acting director guy. Why not say 'subject', 'suspect', 'perpetrator', or boring old 'cause of the anomaly". VICTIMIZER! Geez then. I'm going to guess his solution will be a tactical nuke or some such rot.

Jimmy gives background on Wanda.

Acting Director Guy: "The twins were subsequently radicalized, volunteering at Hydra." Jimmy Woo: "That's an oversimplification of events, but yes." I'm giving you heart-eyes Jimmy Woo.

"After unspecified experimentation with the mind stone, Maximoff gained telekinetic and telepathic abilities."

Then a weird aside where the Acting Director — who shall now be known as Acting Director Dick — wants to know if Wanda had a code name or a something, seeming to imply that not having one made her a bad guy?,  and then he points out how the first time she used her powers it was against the Avengers. He totally just ordered a tactical nuke from "overreacting-government-douchebags r us".  I hate this particular character trope, the government heavy who never listens to anybody and is always ready to napalm the suburbs because reasons. It's so tedious.

Jimmy points out that Wanda earned the Avengers trust and then became an Avenger herself, thank you very much. Acting Director Dick doesn't care, he's decided Wanda is a terrorist and he'll turn half of New Jersey into a glass parking lot to get rid of her. Sure am glad he's in charge of some sort of mysterious and powerful agency.

Jimmy Woo is not a fan either, and he walks back over to his new bestie and tells Darcy that while he tries not to speak ill of anybody … Darcy interrupts "then allow me", and she has no trouble saying that Acting Director Dick is, in fact, a dick. That's my girl.

Elsewhere AD Dick is blathering on about how they don't negotiate with terrorists. Well, since Wanda hasn't made any demands, or released a manifesto or anything …. Monica also points out Wanda is not a terrorist. AD Dick twists her report to make Wanda sound as terroristy as he can. I'm bored with him now.

Monica argues with him a bit and say she doesn't believe Wanda World is a premeditated act of aggression. I vote Darcy, Jimmy, and Monica wait until AD Dick is alone, and then they shove him in a locker for the rest of the season. If anybody asks he had to run back to sWUHord for meetings or something, "Darn, you just missed him. I'll tell him you're looking for him. Great. Buh-bye now".

AD Dick needs to make his big jackass point that Wanda is the most terroristy terrorist who ever terroristed, so he shows off footage of Wanda breaking into a SWORD facility to steal back Vision's body. Because that seems terroristy and not at all like some sort of emotional breakdown. As far as I can tell, she just busted open a few doors, but didn't hurt anybody. I think AD Dick doesn't know the meaning of the word terrorist.

And, yes, then she resurrected Vision in an idealized sitcom world in a small city in New Jersey. That's exactly like something a terrorist mastermind would do. Mmmhmm. Is it nice for the people trapped there with them? No, clearly not. Agnes and Herb in particular seem aware and are scared. They need to be rescued and Wanda needs LOADS of therapy. But Director Nuke the Site from Orbit over here isn't going to make anything better. Darcy, sister, shove that asshole into a locker stat.

Jimmy notes that stealing Vision's body is a violation of the Sokovia Accords. And while I appreciate his dedication to maintaining the Accords … well, I mean, look, it's body theft and all. It's not a great look; I absolutely allow that. But you can just sort of stop there. Though, that's very the Sokovia Accords "if this guy dies, his body must go to a shadowy government agency. for safety. yep."

Also Vision had a living will, where he didn't want to be used as a weapon. Sure, okay. Because I'm sure SWORD was just totally not doing anything at all with his body. Nope. Look, I'm totally a SHIELD girl and even I wouldn't necessarily trust SHEILD with that. So, who is SWORD to me? Pfft. I'd give him to Thor or something and ask him to be buried far far away. I'm just saying. I'm supposed to trust Johnny-Come-Lately S-WUH-ORD?

(In my head now is an inter-agency rivalry where SWORD is like "We have rocket ships!" and SHIELD is like "lol, our lead scientist got eaten by a rock and survived on an alien world for like six months". "But rocket ships?" "We've traveled through time a dozen times in the last year alone. We're a bigger chaotic disaster than you can ever hope to be".)

AD Dick undermines his own "SHE'S A TERRORIST!" thesis by saying she acted out of grief. And then he dismisses everybody. "Work the problem!" Uh … whut? Fine? What is the problem? That she's a WILD MURDERY TERRORIST who must be stopped! or a grief stricken woman who stole her technologically advanced boyfriend's body and probably should be talked down? Acting Director Lack of Clarity.

Jimmy wants to know how Wanda could have resurrected Vision without the Mind stone and Darcy wants to know what Vision will do when he figures it out. Fine questions, friends, fine questions. Monica is just like "acting director dick used to be a buddy but now I kind of want to punch him and am very conflicted. oh and wanda kind of freaks me out but also i feel bad for her" only she says all that without words.

Tommy and Billy are now about like 5 or 6 or something. I'm terrible with kids ages. They're up to shenanigans. Oh, they found a lost puppy dog and they're giving him a bath in the sink. It's all super adorable.

Vision wanders in and greets his family all formally and in his human face. He says he has a premonition someone might pop over. He's not a fan of sitcom neighbors either. And there's Agnes now with a dog house. How does she know whether to enter through the front door or the back door?

The dog tries to burn the house down by licking an electrical outlet? so they name him Sparky (harr harr) and Wanda magics him a collar with Agnes right there. Vision's all "wtf darling?" and she points out Agnes didn't even notice when the boys went from babies to five-year olds, she certainly didn't notice the magic collar. Agnes is trying very very hard not to notice anything. Poor Agnes.

Wanda says she's tired of hiding her abilities and Vision is Very Concerned. He's starting to figure things out.

They tell the boys they can't have a dog until they're 10, so the boys grin at each other and age themselves up to 10. That is all very unsettling. Agnes "Let's just hope this dog stays the same size." as she screams internally "save me!"

Real World. Jimmy's hustling back to the science room with coffee for Monica and Darcy. Monica is asking for some sort of wild mobile bunker to help her get back into Wanda World and Darcy's like "well, yes, but also no". But Monica knows an aerospace engineer who'd totally make it for her.  

"I can't guarantee the Hex won't just mind wipe you as you go in." "What's the hex?" "Oh, it's what I'm calling the anomaly because of it's hexagonal shape. It's starting to catch on." Darcy's so proud, but Jimmy's like 'not so much' but he's too polite to say.

Monica's determined to go back in. Jimmy wants to know who the kids are, if they've id'd them or the babies and Monica's all "oh, no, those are legit Wanda's." Darcy says if she can make stuff with her mind, and all the props and whatnot in the Wanda World are real then she's wielding an insane amount of power. Monica is sure she could have taken out Thanos if he hadn't cheated and snapped her. Jimmy thinks Captain Marvel could have done it. Monica very much doesn't want to talk about Captain Marvel.

Monica has an Idea!

Ah, she wants to see her outfit from Wanda World, which is now in the real world. So, is it real matter Wanda created, or is the perception field bleeding over to make them all see that outfit in the real world. That would have been hella awkward if Monica got yeeted out of her clothes.

Monica confirms they're real then steals Jimmy's gun and shoots them. Ahh, she was wearing a kevlar vest when she went into Wanda World, and that changed shape to be her super fly 70s outfit. "Wanda is rewriting reality." Changing things to fit the hex. So they'll send in something that doesn't need to be changed. Um. Sure. Fine. I don't know what that means, or how that would help in this context, but I'm sure I'll find out.

Meanwhile, Vision is at work, and all his coworkers are amazed at the actual computers. Golly shucks. Computers. Hey, so, computers have been around since the 40s. ANYWAY.

"Should we surf the internet?" We're progressing rapidly through the 80s. Oh, lol, Darcy sent an email. And the whole office creepily reads it out loud. Vision is very weirded out. As well he should be. He wipes the computer with his glowy synthezoid powers and then he glowies Norm when Norm tells him 'none of it is real'. Norm wakes up "please help me. what day is it? how long has it been?". Oh dear. Poor Vision. This is all going to go so very badly. Norm gets very freaked out begging Vision to "stop her". Vision resets him.

At the house the boys wonder where dad is, and Wanda tells them it's Monday and he's at work. Except the boys are all "um, no, it's Saturday". Wanda, your house of lies is tumbling down! You shouldn't have let them grow up so fast. Babies don't ask inconvenient questions about why Daddy needs some space from Mommy and her questionable choices for their shared reality.

Wanda takes the opportunity to impart the 80s family sitcom trope of the weekly life lesson about how family might fight, but they still love each other and family is forever. One of the twins asks if she has a brother. She does. He's far away. But, Sparky goes barking at the door. Wanda looks far away herself. She goes to open the door and Sparky runs out.

Monica has sent in a drone from the 80s. Well that wasn't really a thing. But, how does the 1980s rc plane look more high tech than the 2020s drone they sent in first? Talk to your design team, SWORD.

Anyway, Wanda spots the drone, but she's keeping it out of the broadcast, because she's the editor and director and producer of Wandavision, of course.

Monica announces herself and tries to get Wanda to acknowledge her. Whoops. Wanda's eyes go glowy. AD Dick says "take the shot" and Monica's all "what? no, the drone isn't armed." Except of course it is, because AD Dick is a monumental dick, and he's got a backup drone pilot who takes the shot. Wandavision goes off air. And, oh no, there's a breach at the Hex!

Lol. It's Wanda coming through, dragging the mangled corpse of the drone with her. That was entirely deserved, AD Dick. I hope she shoves it up your ass, dick.

"The missile was just a precaution". AD Dick backpedals quick, like a coward. You gave a three second attempt to talk to Wanda before you pulled the trigger, I don't like you. "You can hardly blame us."

Wanda warns him to stay out. "You won't bother me, I won't bother you." Okay, well, he does kind of have a point, in that there's a whole town of people who are stuck as bit players in Wanda World. That's not very nice. I mean, surely she could have found a nice empty spot somewhere and created her sitcom utopia. That's at least a fair criticism.

Monica tries her best to talk Wanda down. It doesn't work particularly well.

"What do you want?" "I have what I want and no one will ever take it from me again." And she mind controls the soldiers training their guns on her, to turn them on AD Dick. Whoops. And Wanda goes back to her world. The Hex glows all red as she goes.

And we go to commercial. Lagos Brand paper towels. "For when you make a mess you didn't mean to." Wow, so that was brutal. Wanda's not mad at you, Monica. She's just carrying a lot of guilt. Ouch.

Back in Wandavision, the boys are looking for their dog. They find Agnes hiding in the bushes with the dog. Poor Sparky apparently ate some azalea leaves and died. The boys are very sad and Wanda warns them not to age up. They can't run from their feelings. Oh Wanda. "It's too sad," Billy says. "You can fix anything mom," Tommy cries, "Fix the dead". Yikes.

Wanda "I'm trying to tell you there are rules in life." Poor Agnes is trying not to have a total meltdown. "We can't reverse death. No matter how sad it makes us. Some things are forever."

Billy and Tommy try to talk her into bringing back Sparky. And Vision turns up. Well, this is just brutal.

Vision is entirely outside of Wanda's control. "I spoke with Norm. I unearthed the man's suppressed personality and I spoke to him free of your oversight." Yikes. "He was in pain, Wanda."

Okay it's kind of funny they're arguing over the end credits. Vision is very very pissed. "I'm scared." Aww.

Wanda insists she's not in charge of every life in Westview. "I don't know how any of this started in the first place." Huh. Is that really true? Because she's pretty sure of it now. Somebody or something convinced her into a sitcom world and now she's just like "yeah, this is good"? really asking.

Ding-dong.

"I didn't do that." 

Vision: *doubt*

DING DONG

Wanda goes to answer the door.

In the real world, alarms are blaring but Darcy notices a new revelation on Wandavision.

Wanda Word — and it's Pietro at the door. See! I knew it had to be Pietro who'd be the surprise guest thingy. I mean it's hilariously X-Men Pietro (Evan Peters, like @lewstonewar suggested), but Pietro nonetheless. There's nobody else it could have been.

Darcy be all WTF? "She recast Pietro?" lol

Okay, Wanda seems legit shocked. I don't think she did that. And I super really don’t think she’d make him sound like a NYC cabbie. 

And end.

Well. I mean, I'm not sure what to think. Wanda insists she's not controlling everything. I don't think she created Pietro. But, she totally stole Vision's body and created the kids and seems mostly happy in her sitcom universe and she can traverse the Hex, which obviously suggests its her doing. Dunno. I have questions about Agnes and her convenient timeliness here and there.

The mystery continues.

Disney wants to know if I want to watch Age of Ultron next. How poorly you know me, Disney.

[yangsrose]

Haechan soulmate!au

Another soulmate!au!!!! 

This time it’s with Haechan ^-^

These are really fun to write ngl especially when I procrastinate oops

ANYWAYS

Everyone is born with a soulmate mark when they’re born 

And you and your soulmate had a mark where both of your days accomplishments are written on your wrists

And it resets every day at 12 a.m. 

When you finally meet your soulmate, the words on your wrist turn gold

So you’re younger than Haechan

By 2 ½ years if you’re me

So one day when toddler!Haechan was running around playing he felt a tingle on his wrist 

He got scared and saw words forming on his arm 

Which then he ran off to his parents and showed them, and much to their relief it said “Born” while your wrist said something like “Went up the stairs without any help” idk what 2 year olds do 

Fast forward a couple of years, you began to notice the strange words that formed on your wrist

You could tell that your soulmate was older than you since their accomplishments were much more advanced than yours 

Obviously, wanting to remember all of them, you would write them all down in a book

However, due to the huge time differences, your wrist was always changing at 10 a.m. and your soulmate’s would change at 2 p.m. (Since that was equivalent to 12 a.m. in each others respective times)

As you two got older it said stuff that were more school or work related and less regarding your personal life If I had a soulmate with this mark if would probably be “stressed out about an AP class” everyday

ANYWAYS

You figured out that your soulmate was probably someone who was either in the music industry, or just someone who took a lot of music videos for a class because you always had “Practiced for the comeback” or “Filmed the music video”

One fine day your best friend decided to show you this new kpop group that had just debuted called NCT! 

Ngl you were really impressed by their music and choreography and visuals 

But you had a soulmate to stay loyal to so you never took much consideration to their looks, but rather to their musicality

The day your friend showed you the music video Haechan’s wrist said “Got introduced to a new kpop group called NCT” 

Which he freaked out and caused him to run around the dorms yelling “MY SOULMATE KNOWS ABOUT ME”

Cue Johnny going “Well duh they’re your soulmate they kind of need to know about you without knowing you”

Fast forward a couple of years, you were still a huge fan of NCT 

Especially this member called Haechan who had the voice of a thousand angels singing where’s the lie though

NCT had just dropped the U.S. tour dates and you found out that they were coming to your city!!!! And to make it better they were having a fan meet as well!!!!!

Your friend managed to book tickets for you both and surprised you with them 

Cue you screaming like a pterodactyl in the middle of a cafe

The special day finally came and you were ecstatic to meet all the members  

You soulmate mark kept changing at random times of the day, and each time it got closer and closer to 12 a.m. in your time one 

Which made you really happy because my soulmate’s probably somewhere near me! 

Back to the story

While you were getting ready you looked down at your wrist and saw “Meeting my soulmate today” which caused you to internally scream and nearly drop your hair brush

Meeting NCT and your soulmate in one day? Today’s one lucky day for you

Over in NCT’s hotel room, Haechan was freaking out over the fact that his arm said “Going to an NCT fansign today” 

He also screamed like a pterodactyl but that’s beside the point

You and your friend got there, sitting (quite nervously might I add) waiting for your turn to meet the NCT members 

And while you were waiting you looked around to see if anyone else’s wrist matched yours 

While Hyuck was backstage worrying about if he looked good enough for his soulmate and if they would like him 

When it finally got to your turn, you were sweating b u l l e t s

The first member that you got to talk to was Jaehyun 

Who greeted you very sweetly and made jokes to ease you from your nervousness

Skip to four members later

You finally got to Hyuck

Who looked absolutely adorable with his cute little smile and mannerisms

 He greeted you but got cut off by a burning pain that was travelling through his wrist

You felt the same pain as well and crumpled on the ground bending at the waist while clutching your wrist tightly

You looked at your wrist which now held golden words instead of the usual black print

When you saw your wrist you immediately looked up and were met with the same surprised expression from Hyuck

The other members looked at the both of you and realised that something was going on 

And based on your faces, they could tell that the both of you were soulmates

Cue your friend nearly tackling you out of excitement

Hyuck got the security guard to take you backstage after the fansign was over so that he could formally meet you

After everyone got their albums signed and you got to meet the rest of the members, you finally got to meet your soulmate

Which consisted of the both of you just staring at each other in disbelief for the first few minutes 

After that you two shyly introduced yourselves to each other and once you left the room you were met with the NCT members tackling themselves on you and bombarding you with millions of questions 

Overall, you and Hyuck had a very cute relationship and was filled with the two of you being soft for each other and pulling pranks on the other members :’) 

[orionsangel86]

Hey Everyone,

As you have probably noticed, I have neglected this blog for a long time now. I haven’t been on any fandom related social media at all actually. But I figured since I am currently in a good mindset, I want to write a post just outlining some things which basically boils down to a goodbye letter to Supernatural fandom.

Long rambling post below the cut...

This year (and the last) has just taken it out of me in terms of general negativity online both in fandom and in the real world. At first I got tired of fandom (mostly because Twitter is a cesspool of policing and bullying) and then I got tired of everything else (the world sucks right now, and my mental health basically stopped me from being able to participate in any form of online activism – just because I’m not blogging about something, doesn’t mean I don’t support the cause ya know?). Earlier this year, right around the time of the UK lockdowns, I had surgery and a recovery period in which I spent a lot of time with family, and just reacquainted myself with the real world. I think perhaps the coronavirus pandemic made me realise that long before lockdown began I had already been isolating myself from my real life and diving further and further into an online black hole.

It was years in the making. Supernatural fandom preoccupied my thoughts for such a long period of time it got to the point where every moment of my non working time seemed to be spent either online scrolling my tumblr dash or twitter feed, or reading fanfic or doing something fandom related. I invested so much of myself into this show and fandom that I think I forgot who I was before I was a Supernatural fan completely.

After my wake up call in late 2019, which lead me to break free from an extremely nasty clique, I have tried to re-enter fandom on my own terms, as well as attempt to enjoy the source material and the fandom creations to ignite some new spark of love and interest in the show. Yet as much as I have tried, I have failed to do so.

I was thinking recently about someone I used to follow years ago before I ever created a blog. When I was still just lurking in the tumblr shadows and followed the likes of Mittens, Lizbob, and other meta writers of the period, there was a blogger whose name I can’t remember but she was the funniest blogger I had come across. But when the show killed off Charlie Bradbury, she quit. I had never even interacted with her, as I was barely getting my blog started at the time, but I’ll never forget a post she wrote about her feelings on the show. She had recently started watching something else (I think it was Sense8 but can’t recall entirely), and that this new show had given her everything she had never thought she could have from her fave before. She wrote about how her relationship with Supernatural had become abusive. That for years the writers of Supernatural continued to throw punches at fans like her – women, LGBTQ+ people, people of colour, and yet she continued to give it all her time and attention, brushing off the punches because she was so damn devoted to the characters. Then this new show had come along, and it was like she had seen the light. The killing of Charlie Bradbury was the last straw, and she dumped Supernatural’s ass and fled into the arms of her new love.

I hope she is doing fantastically today.

What she wrote has resonated with me for years. I was a fairly new Supernatural fan at the time, and therefore didn’t really understand what she meant. A TV show can’t be abusive. Can it?

Of course, we are speaking in metaphor here, and in no way are these metaphors meant to reduce or limit the truly serious situation of actual abusive relationships, but every now and then, when a new episode of Supernatural has left me feeling upset, disappointed, frustrated and grossly let down, in some cases affecting my mood for days at a time, and therefore my mental health. I have thought back to those words she wrote and quietly agreed with them in my head. Yes. This is a metaphorically abusive relationship.

When I discovered earlier this year that Castiel was most likely going to be killed off in some sort of bullshit self sacrifice before the end of the show, I was extremely distressed. When I found out that my favourite person of all time Misha Collins, supported this ending for Castiel, and may have even been the one who pushed for it, I was more than distressed, I felt betrayed by the person I cared about most. I’ll admit to you all now that in my weakest moments I have fantasized about standing in front of Misha and screaming at him exactly just what kind of affect his “ideal ending” for Castiel will have on his fanbase, on their mental health, and potentially their own safety. This fantasy has me guilt tripping him and doing everything in my power to make him feel utterly shit about the decision. I know what you are thinking – don’t blame Misha, the guy has his own problems and we all know he projects his own self esteem issues onto Cas – and yes, I know this, like I said its only a fantasy to get me through my darkest moments. I don’t hate Misha at all. But perhaps I do love him a little less nowadays than I did back at the height of my fandom life. That’s at least still a little bit more than my feelings for Jensen and Jared which now I can only describe as complete indifference.

I am admitting all of this now knowing full well it will ignite shock and anger among the more die hard fans of J2M, to explain why I need to just leave this fandom completely, or more accurately, why I have already left fandom.

Over the past 10 months of 2020, I have watched a lot of TV (there isn’t much else to do during a lockdown when you are on crutches with your foot in a cast!) and the one thought that occurred to me over and over again was “this show is so much better than Supernatural”.

I kept comparing everything I watched, from the quality of the scripts, the actors, the special effects, to the inclusiveness of the shows. Just so many beautiful and interesting stories that seem to understand their audience, and understand how to entertain and impress without resorting to cringe humour, outdated jokes, and prejudice, not to mention misogyny and queerbaiting – yup, I said it.

The thing is, I think these thoughts have been creeping over me slowly for longer than just this year, but I have been desperately batting them away the way Dean Winchester bats away his own gay thoughts. Unlike Dean though, eventually I couldn’t ignore them anymore. I cannot continue to carve out space in my own soul for this show, which incessantly beats me down regardless of my devotion. The creators, the network, the writers, and sometimes even the cast, have all shown that they don’t care about me as a fan. I’m not some gun toting dudebro living in middle America, so why should they give a damn about me? I’m clearly not their target audience, nor have I ever been.

I know many of you will vehemently deny my personal opinion of Supernatural now. That is absolutely fine. I am sorry to be admitting it, but I had to. I feel like once I finally write out these words, I have got it off my chest and can close and lock the door on Supernatural for good.

Without Supernatural, I am able to focus on my real life, I am able to find pleasure in other things, new things, interesting things, that bring me joy and joy alone – not disappointment and frustration. I found a new job this year, which has been a huge accomplishment as I was stagnating in my old one, and several new hobbies under my belt. I moved to a new flat, I have a lovely flatmate who has been a godsend throughout lockdown, and I have rekindled friendships that I was neglecting due to my Supernatural obsession.

All in all, I am finding post-Supernatural life far more rewarding and content than my life in fandom. It has taken me a while, but I am over the show. And whilst I will always hold a special place in my heart for Castiel, it will be as I know him in my own mind; as the wonderful, strong, powerful and determined angel with a soul, who loves so strongly, and who is worth so much more than his own creators give him credit for. He is up there with Aziraphale and Crowley, with The Doctor, and Buffy, as one of the greatest characters of all time.  

So the Supernatural writers and creators can take whatever ending they have decided upon, and shove it up their asses. I am sorry to say that Sam and Dean Winchester are also lost to me. Any love I had for them was destroyed by their later season depictions. Castiel alone is the only character worthy of that space in my heart now. If in time he longs for a companion, I will find one for him, but it won’t be the Dean Winchester of the canon show. Canon Dean hasn’t been deserving of Cas for a long time now.

Perhaps I am still a little bitter about the ending. Perhaps the finale won’t be the disaster I expect it to be, perhaps Dabb will somehow turn it all around last minute following whatever travesty Bucklemming have given us in 15x19. Either way, I won’t be watching.

So this is me saying goodbye to this blog, at least until I have decided what else to do with it. It certainly won’t be a Supernatural fandom blog anymore. It wasn’t all wasted though. I did get a wonderful friendship group out of this fandom, and I have certainly expanded my knowledge of film and television analysis, as well as having enjoyed a great many memes.

I guess in the end, my internal war with my inner bitter Cas girl finished with her winning, and writing this post. Once it is posted however, I will put her to sleep with thoughts of a happy Castiel, who has swapped his wings for a beating human heart, and is living on a beach somewhere beautiful, refurbishing an old Victorian house, and greeting his kindly elderly neighbours. There’s a gay bar on the main strip, and the bartender is quite a dish. Green eyes and light brown hair with a killer smile. Castiel thinks he looks familiar, like a memory from a past life, but they’ve definitely never met, because this man is kind.

Now that she is asleep, there is nothing left for me here. Goodbye everyone. Whether you manage to enjoy the finale or not, I truly hope you too, find your peace.

[mae-gi-writes]

Deobi Playlist (EP 11) | The Boyz Imagine

EP 11: in which Kevin and Mae go on a first date and Juyeon’s girlfriend has bad news. 

The Boyz x Hospital Playlist inspired drabble series.

Main Characters: Hyunjae, Juyeon, Kevin and OC (Mae)

Sides: the rest of The Boyz.

Genre: fluff, slice of life, comedy, BROMANCE BRUH

EP 1 | EP 2 | EP 3 | EP 4 | EP 5 | EP 6 | EP 7 | EP 8 | EP 9 | EP 10 | EP 11

-----

“You’ll be fine,” Hyunjae’s voice is a soothing lullaby to the ongoing tumulant war roaring through Kevin's head as he quickly buttons up his charcoal jeans and glances over at himself in the mirror. 

As per Hyunjae's recommendations, Kevin now eyes his jean jacket hiding a white t-shirt underneath, said jeans and matching converse and tries to imagine what Mae might think of him. 

"Are you sure?" Kevin repeats.

"Kevin, it's a date. Not a goddamn wedding," Hyunjae's voice resonates through the phone with clear exasperation, "she's not going to judge you for it." 

"Okay okay," Kevin takes a deep breath, "you're right. It's just a date." 

"Yeah, a date. With Mae. You'll be fine. Just think of it as just the two of you hanging out as you always do."

"Oh my god what if I make a fool of myself? Or worse, what if I spill something on her? Or me? Or what if--"

"Kevin," Hyunjae cuts him off, "breathe, my man."

Kevin does as he's told, inhaling shakily and exhaling through his mouth, "sorry," he mumbles, "I just--I don't want to mess this up."

"And you won't. Do you know how much she likes you?"

Kevin blinks at his reflection, "What?"

Hearing Hyunjae sigh at the other end of the line, his heart suddenly speeds up at the slightest possibility that this love is not one-sided. 

"Okay, this didn't come from me," Hyunjqe starts, "but--well, the reason why I was so keen foe you two to, you know, get together, is because I knew that she--that she liked you back."

"You knew? And you kept this from me?!" 

"Hey, it wasn't my secret to tell okay!" 

"HYUNJAE WHAT THE FUCK."

"I'M SORRY SHE SAID SHE'D CIRCUMCISE ME IF I TOLD ANYONE."

Kevin's fingers reach up to pinch the bridge of his nose, "what about Juyeon? Does he know?" 

Silence.

"HYUNJAE."

"Yes yes, alright! He knows too! But I couldn't possibly keep the secret for myself! It was too good to tell!"

"So all this time you both knew?!"

"We couldn't just betray Mae's feelings just like we didn't betray yours," his friend is quick to point out.

"Fine, fine. You're right," Kevin pauses, "but still--"

"Let's not continue this or you might be late for your date."

Kevin's eyes impulsively flit over to the clock on his nightstand, before letting out a reluctant groan of agreement, "fine. But I have questions when I return."

"Aye sir." 

Kevin had planned out the day with precise timing and to the finest detail. They were to have lunch at a coffee shop overlooking the Han River, a location chosen both because of the beautiful view it gave and for its location, since it was close to the arcade he'd carefully picked out just a few days prior. After that, they'd head over to the arcade for an afternoon of fun and games, and later on they could walk along the Han River, hand in hand, while watching the sunset coating the entire city in warm shades of gold. 

But of course, he should've known that everything would just go wrong from the moment he set his mind to make this day as perfect as possible. 

For starters, they met up at the coffee shop entrance only to realize that it's closed for renovation. As a result, they had no choice but to find a nearby fast food joint, settling on greasy burgers and too-salty fries to match and although Mae assures him that she is perfectly fine with that choice, it definitely does not hit the sweet romantic spot that Kevin has been aiming for. 

“Honestly, this suits more my style anyway,” Mae says as she bites a big mouthful of beef and bacon burger. 

“Sure,” is what he mumbles, though his mind is clearly trying to piece up together a better action plan for the rest of the day to come. 

It’s fine, he tells himself internally, it will definitely get better from there. Right? Right? 

It doesn’t. 

The moment they head to the arcade, they are bombarded with a group of ten-year old children running around and screaming at the top of their lungs, clambering up on makeshift motorbikes and squealing at the top of their lungs as they attempt to shoot down zombies through a two-dimensional screen. 

It’s practically impossible to hear what Mae is saying, yet have a romantic date together.

“Kevin,” Mae shouts over the cacophony of piercing screams echoing throughout the neon-coloured room. She tugs down onto his arm so that her lips reach his ear, “we don’t have to stay if you don’t want to, it’s fine!” 

“But that was what I had planned--”

“It’s okay, we’ll figure something out!” 

He tries not to show his displeasure, but the scowl breaks through his forced nonchalance. Mae, having spotted his change in expression, tugs more insistently onto his arm, “it’s okay Kev. Come on.” 

It’s only until they stumble out of the arcade -- Kevin sporting a sour expression -- that Mae bursts into a soft chuckle at the said man’s face. 

She nudges him lightly on the shoulder, “come on, Kev. It’s not that bad. We’ll find something else to do.” 

“But I know you’ve always wanted to go on a date in an arcade,” he mumbles out, words sounding a little whinier than he’s intended. Mae can’t help but laugh at how cute he sounds and looks at this very moment, like a child in need of a lollipop to feel better and as if on its own accord, her hand reaches out to pat his head.

Kevin blinks down at her in surprise, at the lingering smile faltering at the corner of her lips upon realizing how close they are at this very moment. Clearing her throat and quickly turning away so as to avoid direct confrontation of this awkward atmosphere, Mae gestures towards the Han River without meeting his eyes. 

“How about we go for a walk?” she asks. “Okay,” he mumbles, still slightly put out that all that planning has resulted in absolutely nothing. What if Mae thinks he actually doesn’t really care about first impressions? Or what if she’s someone who actually loves big romantic gestures and had been expecting so much from him, only to be disappointed by his lack of effort? These sort of questions keep on daunting the back of Kevin’s mind as the pair make their way to the riverside. The sun is shining in the distance, though grey clouds linger underneath like a barrier that already hints there will be no sunset today, which only makes Kevin want to stomp his foot in protest. It’s not fair! Chants his inner subconscious as Mae’s voice chimes through the air: 

“So this is definitely not the kind of date that I had been expecting.” 

“Thanks Mae,” he mutters, “that’s exactly what I want to hear right now.” 

She can’t help but burst out laughing at his face transformed into a pout, eyebrows drawn together and lips turned down, clearly upset by it all, “and here I thought you were one with the big romantic gestures.” 

“Look, I had the date all planned out to the finest detail,” Kevin protests as they reach the riverbank, “it was perfect in my head. And then all this shit happened.” 

“You tried,” she grins, “I appreciate that.” 

“And yet, you’re still laughing.” 

“It’s funny! You should see yourself! I’ve never seen you pouting that much in my entire life.” 

“Because I wanted today to be special,” he all but grumbles, scowling at how funny she finds it when he’s put so much effort. And for what? Absolutely nothing! “I didn’t want it to be just any date.”

“It’s fine, really. It’s just a date.” 

“It’s not--” his eyes catch her own, blazing with emotion, “--just a date. It was officially our first. I just wanted it to be special, you know?” 

There’s a slight pause as the girl takes in his words, a half-smile still dancing at the corners of her lips as she tries to find any kind of fault to the young man who thinks he has screwed everything up. In truth, she couldn’t have asked for anything better, and the fact that Kevin’s plans -- despite his amazing preparation -- have failed just makes it all the more special, and will definitely be something she’ll cherish forever. 

But she knows, no matter how much she talks, Kevin will definitely keep beating himself up about it because that is just the kind of person he is, the kind of person that expects so much from themselves, only to loathe themselves for it for reasons that shouldn’t exist in the first place. 

So she does the only thing that she thinks will boost his morale. She closes the gap between their bodies in one fluid movement before stretching up on her toes to kiss his cheek.

Kevin’s eyes are as round as saucers when she pulls back, jaw falling slack at her more than intimate action. He can’t recall the last time they’ve been this close, and it had definitely not been on romantic terms. 

This, this feels different. It is different. His hand tingles with the desire to touch his cheek, just to feel the residual warmth followed by her soft imprint.

“Thank you,” Mae murmurs as Kevin probes at her face in an attempt to find out what is going on inside that head of hers. From the soft peony colour dusting her cheeks, he’d have to think that she is definitely smitten. She continues in that shy, soft voice that is a complete contrast to her usual strong tone, “what you intended was meaningful enough.” 

His lips twitch, threatening to break into a shit-eating grin as he replies, "no problem," in what he hopes is a nonchalant, blazéed manner.

They continue striding down the pathway and it is then that Kevin finds the courage to brush the back of his knuckles against hers. And when her eyes flutter to his with curiosity, he forces his courage forward, wraps his fingers around her own before squeezing softly. 

He refuses to meet her questioning gaze, instead focusing on the sight ahead. The sun is melting into the Han river's surface, covered up by clouds so that only strands of pale light slither through. It is definitely not the most romantic mood he'd wished for, definitely not the perfect date he'd carved out in his head. 

But it'll do for now. He is content enough, because Mae is at his side, because his heart is now full with butterflies as he thinks of more exciting days to come. 

Later, the pair find themselves at a late night convenience store to buy cold canned coffee drinks and a bowl of ramen to share. Setting down at one of the outside tables and huddling together to escape the bite of the cold, Mae allows herself to get a whiff of Kevin's cologne, a scent that she grew up knowing and yet, right now this scent means so much more. 

"Now this, this is the best date I've ever had," she exclaims, slurping up the ramen and allowing the salty taste of soy sauce and Korean chilli fill her tongue, "how you gonna beat this, Kev?"

"If this was what you call the beat date, then you haven't seen anything honey." 

"Oh, overconfident now are we?" She says, a little more comfortable with being playful. 

Kevin rolls his eyes, chewing on his mouthful of noodles before passing the bowl over to her once more, "You're the one who apparently has low standards. But that's okay, It can only get better from there." 

"See, that's not something you should say to your date." 

"Why not?" 

"That's something you'd say to like, I don't know, your best friend." 

"Aren't you? My best friend?" 

Mae's halfway through gulping some of her coffee when her mind registers his words, and boy is she glad that she manages not to choke, "uh--I mean, wait--I don't understand." 

"If you're wondering whether you're my date or my best friend, don't worry," Kevin smirks, "you're both." 

"And how does that work?" 

"It doesn't. You're my best friend, and I love you--"

As soon as the words fall from his lips, the said man's ears redden as realization hits him like a truck. 

"What--" Mae breathes, "what did you just say?" 

"Nothing."

"Say it. I heard it, but I want you to say it."

"I--I--" his eyes darted back and forth with growing panic. What the fuck Kevin? He wants to slap himself across the back of his head. This is your first date! How the fuck did you ruin it so fast?

"Kevin," her tone was serious. 

"I said that I--" he takes a shaky breath, exhales slowly and tries not to throw up from embarrassment, "that I  love you."

The hitch in the back of her throat does not go unnoticed by him however, which makes the situation just marginally better.

"Look, forget I said anything. It's really not--"

"I won't forget it."

"Oh come on Mae, you can't use that for blackmail

--"

"I won't forget it because I know that this thing between us," she motions between the two of them, "is something special. And I don't want to risk anything by saying it now." 

The way Kevin's heart soars through his chest like a hummingbird about to beat out of its cage causes his mouth to stretch into a shit-eating grin, one that he can't hide no matter how much he tries, and one that keeps on glowing brighter when he notices the blush coating Mae's cheeks. 

"I--I know I feel something," Mae continues, trying not to stutter underneath the intense stare he's pinn3d her down with. Suddenly, she is all too aware of the lack of distance between their bodies, the warmth radiating from his chest, "but I don't want to say anything, not when I'm not ready yet."

Kevin nods, his smile turning gentle, "I get it, Mae."

His hand reaches out gently, smoothing over her cheek to curl a strand of hair behind her ear. He doesn't need any verbal confirmation of her part yet. It's good enough that she feels something special for him  something that can turn into so much more. For him right now, that's good enough. 

"Juyeon? I need to talk to you."

The alarming tone in Yunji's voice causes Juyeon's mind to come to attention. He straightens up from his seat before asking, "what's wrong? What is it?" 

"I--" there's a short pause as she takes in a brrath at the other end of thr line, "Please just come." 

"Where are you?" He is already standing from his seat as he talks, moving towards the corridor while dodging a few nurses scurrying by, "I'm coming."

A few minutes later, he hesiatates slightly upon arriving at Yunji's office door. She had clearly stated that they should avoid visiting esch other during office hours to avoid being the talk of town, but the seriousness in her tone cannot be ignored, no matter how suspicious it may seem. 

He knocks on the door, before he hears a soft "come in."  

Yunji, sitting at her desk with a stack of medical documents before her, jumps slightly when their eyes meet. Motioning for him to close the door, Juyeon does as he's told before taking a seat right opposite her. 

"Yunji," he starts softly, not failing to notice how hard she's trying to avoid his eyes at all costs. His heart clenches with apprehension, "what is it?"

He watches Yunji's bottom lip tremble, notices the soft glistening in her eyes, and instantly his mind swerves into panic mode: does she have an incurable disease? Or maybe her family? What about if someone had died? 

And then, the words hit him like a truck. 

"Juyeon, I'm pregnant." 

-----

Tagging @juyeonzz​ @thesingingfae1905​ @gratefulmaria​

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! :) 

[rainbowshawn]

Yours

A/N: Sorry this took so long, I couldn’t even tell you how many times I’ve re-written this one. It’s a long one though so hopefully that makes up for it!! Anyways I’m a sucker for Jealous!Shawn fics so naturally I had to write my own. 

Summary: Shawn is determined to remind you who you belong to after an old friend crosses the line.

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, language, jealousy, and absolute filth. (Dom!Shawn)

Word count: 7.6k

“Shawn, stop it”

You spot him rolling his eyes behind you in the mirror you were currently using to finish up your makeup. A smirk formed on his face as he watched you applying your highlighter.

“I didn’t do anything,”

“Uh-huh,” you drag, squinting your eyes at him.

A few of your old friends were in town and they had invited you to one of the new clubs in the city. It was an upscale venue and you had been absolutely dying to find an excuse to go. It also didn’t hurt that you had a dress collecting dust in your closet that was screaming to be worn. That little black dress had Shawn wrapped right around your finger and you knew it.

“Uh huuuh, that’s why you’ve been eye-fucking me back there for the past fifteen minutes,” you smirked coyly. He shifts from his spot on the bed and slowly makes his way over to you, his gaze growing more intense by the second.

“It’s not my fault you look this sexy, kitten,” he purrs, leaning down to graze your warm neck with his lips. “I think you’re trying to drive me crazy.”

You hum as you feel his lips pressing against your neck; your focus no longer on finishing your makeup. You roll your head back loving the feeling of his lips on your skin and his warm hands trailing up your stomach, getting dangerously close to your breasts. You reluctantly sit back up, shrugging off his affection in favor of getting back to your makeup.

“Don’t distract me, hornball,” you giggle, picking one of your brushes back up.

He sighs, sitting back on the bed as he licks his lips. You choose to ignore his boyish antics as you finish up your dark eyeshadow. He was already dressed and ready to go, only waiting on you so you two could head to the club.

“Who’s all gonna be there?” he inquires.

“Mmm, I think Kira, Lexi, Emmy, and Matt,” you say slowly, trying to apply your nude lipstick at the same time.

Shawn tenses at the mention of the last name. Matt was an old friend, nothing more, but he knows from stories you had told him that Matt used to have a crush on you. You had always insisted that it was nothing, just some stupid high school crush, and Shawn believes you. He really does. But he can’t stop his mind from going into defense mode, suddenly anxious about you being around someone who had wanted you for so long.

He knows it’s wrong and he trusts you. One-hundred percent. So he swallows the feeling and scolds himself internally for feeling this way. 

You eye yourself in the mirror, unaware of Shawn being lost in his thoughts behind you. Your skin is glowing and your eyeshadow makes your eye stand out than it already does. You snatch up your phone that was faintly playing music and snap a few selfies in the mirror. You had to admit it; this look had you feeling super confident. Your makeup came out just right and you took the opportunity to get some cute photos out of it.

“Hey, Bubba,” your voice snapped him out of his trance, “c’mere.”

His head snaps up and he blinks quickly, getting out of his head. You’re looking at him in the mirror, your phone still held up in your hand and he catches onto what you want. He smiles as he comes over to your vanity, crouching down to be level with you as you wrap your arm around his neck.

Your faces squish together and he can’t help the blush that appears on his face as you take a few photos. He smirks as you push your lips out in a flirty pose. He chuckles as he shifts to press a kiss to your cheek as you snap more photos.

“Mmm, my pretty girl,” he says lowly, his tone sounding deeper than normal.

You shivered as you looked back through the photos, smiling as you take a liking to the one of him kissing your face.

“We look so cute,” you smile, posting the photo on your story.

“Don’t we always?”

—

The bustle of the party was a bit disorienting when you first arrived. Shawn has his arm around wrapped protectively your waist as you take in the modern club. People brush by quickly as the music pumps through the busy room. You take a moment to scan the busy area for your friends until you stumble upon a familiar face.

“Matt!”

You smile as you see the tall blonde take notice of your presence. He makes his way over to you in large strides, instantly grabbing you up into a strong hug, your laugh filling the crowded air.

“Y/N! God, it’s been yeeears!”

“I know! How have you been?” you say, beaming at him. His arms stay wrapped around you as you two speak. You’re so taken aback at your reunion that you don’t take any notice but Shawn sure does. His jaw clenches as he watches the exchange.

You go back and forth with Matt, catching up with each other briefly before Shawn clears his throat. Your attention shifts and you quickly separate from your old friend, laughing when you realize you never introduced the boys.

“Oh, duh, Matt, this is my boyfriend Shawn” you glance over at Shawn, grabbing onto his arm to introduce them.

“Nice to meet you man,” Shawn says, extending his hand out to Matt. He notices Matt’s eyes scaling your body before he snaps out of it and shakes his hand. Shawn makes sure to grip his hand extra hard, sending him a quiet signal of dominance.

“Yeah. Nice to meet you,” Matt mumbles out, still a bit distracted by your figure in your tight dress.

You remain oblivious to the exchange, smiling up at Shawn.

Some time passes and you end up in one of the large mahogany booths in the club with the group. Kira and Lexi were busy scanning the room for cute guys, hoping Toronto would be a jackpot for them. Emmy was talking to you about her trip to Iceland with her new executive boyfriend. You listen and chuckle. Still as pretentious as ever.

You’re seated between Shawn and Lexi, Matt, Kira, and Emmy directly across from you. The conversation shifts and the group starts talking about old times. You giggle at Emmy’s story of Lexi getting blackout drunk at a party you had all went to years ago, where she puked all over the guy she was trying to hook up with.

“Y/N, you remember when we used to skip school and go out to that creek? I’ll never forget when you slipped on the rocks and busted your ass,” Matt laughs out, “I had to carry you outta there and then somehow explain to your mom what we were doing down there.”

Shawn’s brows furrow as he wonders what you two were busy doing. He feels guilty for feeling uneasy about Matt. He’s never been the jealous type but he can’t seem to get past the looks he’s seen Matt giving you all night. He’s not stupid. He shifts in his seat and guides his hand onto your thigh, holding onto it protectively.

“How could I forget?” you laugh, hiding your face in your hands.

“I can’t count how many times I’ve had to take care of your clumsy ass,” he chuckles.

You quickly down the rest of your drink and interject before you can be further embarrassed in front of Shawn.

“On that note,” you interrupt, shooting matt a teasing glare, “Why are we just sitting here, guys? Let's go dance!”

You tug Shawn up, walking backward as you pull him towards the dance floor. You beam up at him, giggling as he takes in your figure, smiling at you. He knows he’s in for a long night.

You embrace the loud music and low lights as you feel the alcohol start to hit you. You dance to the top 10 hits blaring through the speakers, laughing the whole time. Shawn just watches you, a smile plastered on his face as he observes your drunken antics.

“You’re adorable,” he giggles at your dancing.

“Mmmm I know,” you say, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing a kiss to his lips, “Now let loose a little, loverboy. Show me those moves.”

—

Shawn had just reluctantly left you to grab some more drinks at the bar. After a while of being apart from the group, you see Matt making his way back over to you through the packed crowd. He stumbles along to the loud beat pumping through the club and you cock your head, observing him. His eyes rake over you and you suddenly notice the look hungry look on his face. Once he reaches you, his hand settles onto your lower back and he pulls you into him as he speaks over the obnoxiously loud pop song.

“Can I get you a drink?” he shouts, “My treat.”

You notice his eyes mentally undressing you and you giggle, unsure of how to respond.

“I think I’m okay,” you say, wiggling in his tight grasp as he grinds into you, dancing to the song. Shawn sees the exchange from the bar and immediately starts walking back to you with jealousy pumping through his veins.

“Matt, seriously stop, you’re being weird,” you half chuckle, still confused by the situation. Matt just shushes you and moves his hands towards your hips.

Shawn immediately steps over towards you, hand snaking around your waist and brushing Matt’s hands off of your body.

“She’s good, man,” Shawn blurts out; his tone a bit stronger than normal. “Hands off.”

Your timid eyes shift over to him, noticing his jaw clenching. His cheekbones looked extra defined and his jawline somehow seemed sharper than usual. You bit your lip at his dominant demeanor, suddenly distracted from the tense situation playing out in front of you.

“Woah, man,” Matt defends, “I think I was talking to the Y/N, not you.”

Shawn’s arm grips your waist tighter, and you feel him stand up straighter next to you. You hear the slur of Matt’s words and piece together that he’s beyond drunk. He had never been a big drinker and you had only seen him drunk a handful of times in high school. You were surprised at his bold advances towards you.

“Don’t think it matters,” Shawn spits, standing up straighter and towering over the blonde. He shifts to step towards Matt, moving your body behind his, “That’s my girl.”

“Guys,” you move to press your palm into Shawn’s chest and step between them, hoping to deescalate the situation. You shoot matt a glare as you see him open his mouth back up to reply. “Knock it off.”

“Whatever, man,” Matt scoffs and backs up, rolling his eyes as he disappears back into the crowd.

“What the fuck?”

“He’s been practically eye-fucking you all night!” Shawn defends himself.

“Shawn,” you trail, placing your hands on the sides of his face. He turns his head to the side, avoiding your gaze.

You squint your eyes before laughing teasingly, “You’re so jealous.”

“Am not,” he grumbles.

You turn his face, making him look at you as you squint up at him.

“Whatever you say,” you trail. “But really. He’s just drunk. He’s just my friend.”

His arms wrap around your waist and pull you to his warm body. He presses his hips into your stomach and you have to hold back a groan as you feel him grind against you.

“I don’t care,” He cranes his head down to murmur into your ear, “You’re mine.”

You groan lightly at his words; the sound lost amongst the bustle of the loud room. His lips are suddenly pressed against your neck and he nips at the skin teasingly. His hands are settled on your hips and you feel his grip tighten as he pulls you closer.

His lips trail up from your shoulder to your ear where he whispers darkly,

“How about we get out of here, kitten? Need you. Want you to myself. That dress is driving me fucking crazy,”

—

The ride back to the apartment felt like an eternity as you wound through the busy streets of Toronto. You and Shawn were in the back of an uber, trying your best not to pounce on each other. The tension was tangible as his hand rested on your thigh; his fingers drawing light circles on your sensitive skin. You bit your lip and looked out the window trying to distract yourself from his teasing.

You roll your head and look at Shawn through your heavy lids. A small smile plays at your lips as you eye the beautiful man next to you. His features are relatively lost amongst the dark environment of the car, but the dim light trickling in from the window dances across his face. He’s shifted, meeting your gaze as you rub a hand up his arm that was in your lap. His lips look extra plump as he shoots you a smirk and it takes all your strength not to latch onto him right there.

“Like what you see, dear?” he asks, knowing full well, of course you do.

“Mmm,” you hum as you press a kiss to his lips; finding them to be too hard to resist. Your hand sneaks it’s way up to rest on top of his semi-hard bulge and Shawn bites at your lip in an attempt to keep quiet.

Luckily, you don’t have too much time to get any more lost in him as you pull up to the apartment the two of you share. He’s out in an instant, faster than you could blink, reaching a hand out to help you out of the low car.

Somebody’s eager.

He tugs you through the lobby quickly, occasionally stealing glances back at you while you trail behind him. You enter the elevator, pressing the button a few times in a faulty hope that it’ll go faster. He wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you to him, pressing a kiss to your hair.

“When we get inside I want you to naked and kneeling on the bed,” he murmurs into your hair, “alright, princess?”

You bite your lip and nod your head. Your legs clench together at the nickname, the heat between your legs growing warmer. You know exactly what mood he was in tonight and you know he’s not playing any games. The doors finally open and you shift to dash out, feeling a slap connect with your ass. You look back to find Shawn grinning and biting his lip as he admires your figure from behind. You roll your eyes and continue on your way.

Once you two make it inside, you’re tugging your hair to the side, silently asking him to unzip your form-fitting dress. His hands dance up your sides and you feel his breath fanning against your neck as he slowly pulls the zipper down. You reach down to pull your sleek stilettos off but Shawn’s hand quickly grabs your arm.

“Keep the heels on.”

You raise your eyebrows but decide not to say anything, standing back up. You smirk as you turn around, making your way into your bedroom. You make quick work of your dress, pulling it off of your body, followed by your bra and panties. You discard them haphazardly on the floor.

You crawl onto the bed and sit back on your heels as you wait for him. Your breathing is quicker than normal, exciting anxiety coursing through your veins. You simultaneously love and hate the anticipation he’s forcing you to endure but you remind yourself that it would pay off in the end. He always left you satisfied.

After a few minutes of silently waiting, you finally see Shawn’s tall figure emerge into the dimly lit room. He’s still dressed in his tight slacks, fitting his toned legs perfectly, and his white button-up. His left hand is behind his back and you press your legs together tightly as you watch him approach you. He makes his way over until he’s stood right in front of you, gripping your jaw tightly, making you look up at him. His warm fingers press into your skin firmly, making heat pool between your legs.

“Gonna be a good girl for me?” he murmurs deeply.

“Yes,” you whimper.

“Yes what?” his grip on your face tightens and he furrows his brows at you.

“Yes, daddy.”

“Good.”

His tone is dark and seductive and it sends jolts through your chest. He reveals what he has hidden in his hand behind his back; silky red ribbon. Your eyes widen as your mouth drops open ever so slightly. He smirks at your expression, making his way around the bed silently and crawling up to kneel behind you. He firmly grabs your hands that are still placed politely in your lap and moves them to sit behind you. You feel the soft ribbon wrapping tightly around your wrists and sigh at the feeling of the smooth fabric rubbing against your skin.

You feel him finish off the knot off and press a kiss to your shoulder before he makes his way in front of you again. Your eyes trail up his figure as he watches you. You feel your core aching as you take notice of the outline of his hard cock in his tight slacks. You sigh and wiggle a bit on the bed, getting impatient for his next move.

“You look so pretty like this,” he murmurs while his eyes take you in. “Tied up and waiting for me.”

His fingers start unbuttoning his shirt as his eyes remain on yours. His gaze is unfaltering and intense; confidence dripping off of him. He shrugs the white material off his shoulders and reaches for the buckle of his belt. He tugs the band off of his hips and places it on the bed next to you. You hold back a groan as he slowly unbuttons his pants and tugs them down his legs, revealing his flushed member.

“Like what you see, princess?”

“Mhm,” you nod quickly, wanting him to get to it. He smirks at your response.

He steps closer to you, your face level with his cock. He’s rubbing himself in front of you as he smirks down at you, cockily. Your heartbeat is thumping in your ears as you drown in anticipation.

“Wanna see those pretty lips wrapped around me,” he whispers, pushing the tip to your slightly parted lips.

You press a kiss to his slit as you look up at him. His hand is still rubbing his member as you kitten lick the tip of his aching cock. Shawn’s other hand makes its way into your hair, resting on top of your head and tugging you forward gently. You take his hint and wrap your lips around his tip. You press your tongue to the underside of his warm cock and swirl it around. His brows are furrowed as he watches you suck on his sensitive tip.

His grip on your hair tightens, signaling that he wants more and who are you to deny that? You inch your mouth further down his length until he’s just about to your throat. You bob your head, sucking your cheeks in and moaning against him. His head is thrown back and beautiful sighs leave his lips.

“Come on babygirl, I know you can take more of me than that,” he suggests, gently pushing your head further down on him.

Your fists are clenched behind you as you focus on relaxing your throat. You feel his cock stretching your throat out and you stay there for a moment. He groans at the feeling of your tight throat gagging slightly around him. He pulls out for a moment, letting you catch your breath before he shoves himself back inside.

“Gonna let me fuck that pretty face?” he grunts as he starts to roll his hips. The sounds of your slight gags fill the room as he shoves his cock down your tight throat. His gaze is fixated on your eyes as you look up at him through your lashes. His cheeks are rosy and he groans at the sight of your eyes watering while drool drips down your mouth onto the bed. What a dirty sight.

He continues his thrusts for a few moments before he pulls you off of him quickly. You gasp, trying to catch your breath after his brutal treatment. You chuckle breathlessly, smirking up at him as you lick your lips. His thumb comes down to wipe at your wet chin, tugging your lip in the process.

“Such a good girl,” he trails, staring at your fucked face.

He comes back behind you, untying your wrists and rubbing at them gently to soothe them. He tosses the silk ties to the side, deciding he wants you to feel him tonight. All of him. He rubs your tight shoulders for a brief moment as he kisses your neck. You relax at the feeling of his warm lips dressing your neck in wet kisses.

“I want you to lay back for me,” he whispers in your ear, sending a chill down your spine, “spread your legs.”

You comply quickly after he shifts on the bed, standing up. You relax back into the mattress and bring your knees up a bit and spread your legs wide for him. You lick your lips and wiggle on the bed a little bit as you watch him walk to the end of the bed, eyeing you like you’re his pretty. You catch his eyes trailing up from your stilettos up to your center.

He’s crawling up the bed, eyes fixated on your wet core. His normally bright hazel eyes are clouded and lustful now. When you catch sight of his hungry eyes, you giggle at him. You feel a slight cockiness fill your head when you realize how weak he really is for you. His face doesn’t move but his eyes flick up to you, glaring at you, wondering what you find so funny. His dark eyes stay trained on yours, squinting a bit as he lowers himself onto his stomach and starts pressing kisses to your warm stomach. Your muscles contract at the feeling of his teasing kisses trailing down towards your center, dripping for him.

His warm lips trail across your stomach, hip to hip, and his breath fans lightly against your skin. You sigh and close your eyes as you feel him tease you.

“What do you want princess?” he inquires, knowing damn well what you want. You decide an attitude is far from what he wants though and conclude that if you just be good, he’ll give you exactly what you want.

“Your mouth, Shawn” you whimper, “please.”

“Mmm, what was that?”

“D-daddy,” you stutter, realizing your mistake, “I want your mouth, Daddy.”

You glance down at him and see him smirking up at you.

“Mmm, that’s right, dear.”

His teasing continues only for a moment before you feel his hands reach the fold of your knees, pushing your legs open even wider for him. He presses a few kisses to your aching clit before inching his tongue out to slide against you. You whimper and feel your stomach clench at the sensation.

His tongue is rubbing wet circles against your sensitive nub and you’re absolutely reeling. Your back arches as Shawn’s lips suck your clit up into his mouth and pop it out a few times before he returns to flicking at it with his tongue. Moans vibrate against you as he grunts at the feeling of your hands pulling at his wild curls. He can’t help but rut his hips slightly against the bed as he focuses on pleasing you with his mouth. Even though he was fully in control, his goal was only to please you.

“Love this pretty pussy,” he groans, detaching his mouth from your core to stare down at it in amazement, “all mine.”

You whine, “All yours.”

He’s quick to dive back in and you’re absolutely lost in the feeling of his mouth, completely unaware when his long fingers wedge themselves inside of you. Your whimpers have turned into full-fledged moans, choking out into the quiet air. Shawn’s digits curl up and thrust into your spongy spot as his mouth continues to work you. You’re tossing your head around as you wither at the pleasure, unable to keep your composure.

He feels you tightening around his fingers, silently signaling to him that your high is approaching and he pumps for a few more moments before pulling off of you completely. He watches in amazement as your core clenches around nothing.

“Mmm, babygirl, you’re throbbing,” Shawn mewls, his eyes divulging in the delicious sight.

You’re whimpering and trying to pull him back to you with your heels, aching for your stolen orgasm, but he’s got other plans for you. He sits back on his knees before he wraps his strong arms around your legs, tugging you closer to him. Your thighs are rested upon his as his hands rub your hips as you lay on your back.

“P-please daddy,” you plead, grabbing at your breasts, aching for the release he’s so torturously denying you.

His lips have crashed against you, all tongue and teeth, moving in time with yours.

“Please what, love?” his nose grazes the shell of your ear, nipping at your earlobe. You shiver at the contact. “What do you want?”

You grumble, rolling your neck and pouting, suddenly frustrated with his teasing, “You know what I want, now give it to me.”

“Mmm, now that’s no way to talk to Daddy, hm?” he says turning his head and squinting his eyes down at you. A hand snakes up to your neck, gripping just beneath your jaw and pressing into your skin. You moan out as a delicious pressure fills your head as he squeezes gently.

His grip on your throat tightens a bit and you feel him rut his hips into yours, creating a beautiful shock of friction.

“I thought you said you were gonna be good for me? Naughty girls don’t get what they want,” he whispers, darkly into your ear. You shudder at the feeling of his grip. “Lay on your stomach. Now.”

The proposition was a demand, not a request and you knew that. You flipped quickly on the bed, feeling him straddle your thighs. Shawn’s hands took purchase on your ass, pawing at you, firmly. He squeezed your cheeks in his hands and spread you open. A growl leaves his chest as he looks down at you.

“Love this ass,” he says, “Too bad I’m gonna have to spank it.”

Your breath hitches as you realize what he’s doing. A storm of butterflies has festered in your stomach as you anticipate the first smack. His large hand raises and slaps across your right side. You tense up, groaning into the blanket beneath you. You feel your wetness dripping onto the bed and you wiggle your ass for him, prompting him further.

“Mmm my dirty little girl likes to be spanked, doesn’t she?” he murmurs darkly, squeezing you in his hands.

“Fuckin’ love it, Daddy, keep going,” you beg.

“You’re not supposed to enjoy your punishment but since you look so damn sexy, I’ll let it pass.”

He alternates hands for the next few minutes, slapping your ass red. Each one hurts a bit more but you love the painful bite. You feel his rock hard length pressed against the back of your thighs as he continues your punishment, eventually coming to a stop after he’s satisfied. You sigh as you feel his weight leave your thighs.

His hands grab your ankles, just above your heels and yank you quickly so you’re flipped back onto your back. You giggle in surprise and he smiles down at you as he crawls up your body. Your smile sends electricity through his soul and he swears his knees go weak for a moment.

“Love that laugh, dear. You’re so fucking gorgeous," he whispers into your lips, pressing a deep kiss to them. You hum and rub your hands up his bare chest, feeling his light dusting of hair and eventually settling your arms around the back of his neck.

His body leans into yours, effectively pushing his length against your center. You whine a bit, suddenly impatient to feel him. He continues to rut his hips against you, effectively teasing you. You almost slip up and tell him to get to it, but you decide to bite the words behind your lips. After a few moments, his desire overpowers his wish to ease and he finally pulls away to sit back on his heels and slide his pink tip against you. He swirls it around your clit for a moment, wanting to hear you beg for him. You choke out a moan at the sensation and grab aimlessly at him.

“What do you want?” he mutters; his voice raspy and deeper than normal and suddenly very close to your ear, “Beg for it.”

“I want you to fuck me,” you whine, wiggling against him, “God, please fuck me, Daddy.”

“Mmm, you want me to fuck you, babygirl?”

“Fuck, yes. Please, please, please,” you pant as his tip moves faster against your clit.

You gasp as he slams into you without warning, bottoming out instantly. Your stomach clenches at the tight fit and your eyes widen. He gives you a fraction of a moment to adjust to his size before he starts rocking his hips into you. His pace isn’t slow, but it’s not particularly fast either. Shawn wants to make sure you feel it all tonight. He wants to make you feel good. He wants to remind you.

You sigh at the feeling of him slipping in and out of you and close your eyes. His hands are gripping your hips firmly, holding you in place as he slowly picks up his speed. The sound of his hips slapping against yours echoes off the walls and the groans leaving both of your mouths blend with it to create a sinful harmony.

“Such a good girl takin’ all of me.” his voice disrupts, “That’s my pretty girl,”

His hands leave your hips in favor of moving to your tits where he squeezes you tightly. Shawn’s hips don’t stop rutting into for a second as he smacks your chest, watching your tits bounce against his abrupt slap.

Sweat is gathering on his forehead and his flushed chest. His cheeks are rosy and his mouth is hanging open slightly as he moans into the air. Your eyes stay on his rosy cheeks and those damn lips. They were pink as ever and if he wasn’t fucking you so well you’d be attached to them right now.

His abs contract as he slams into you at a brutal pace. You’re whining mindlessly, not particularly making any sense. Your breathing is jagged and you roll your head around, drunk on the pleasure Shawn is providing.

“That tight little pussy is squeezing me so good,” his dark stare bores into your eyes, “I wanna fuck it all night.”

“Do it then, Daddy.” you say playfully, “Love the feeling of your cock filling me up.”

“Gonna make you come over and over on my cock, babygirl. Sound good?”

There’s no time to respond as he switches his angle slightly, making a high pitched yelp fall from your mouth as his tip hits your sensitive spot. You nod your head quickly, words failing to slip out of your mouth.

His hands slot under your knees and throw them over his shoulders. He grunts at the feeling of your stilettos scratching against his back.

“These heels are so fucking sexy. You’ve been driving me nuts all night, kitten.”

“Mmm that’s the goal,” you giggle, biting your lip while you arch your back.

Shawn throws his head back as he feels you clench around him, his adam’s apple protruding deliciously. You prop yourself up on your elbows and peak down at where the two of you meet. His length is glistening with your juices as he slides in and out of you with ease.

“Look how pretty that pussy looks, takin’ my cock,”

You whine at the sight of his hand reaching up to rub your clit quickly. The added friction was just what you needed to go hurdling towards your release. He lowers himself to dress your neck in hot kisses, dragging from your shoulder to your ear. Your senses are overcome with all of him. In this moment, he is everything.

“Gonna cum, babygirl? Cum on daddy’s cock, give it to me” he chants into your ear, encouraging your impending release.

You let go at the sound of his smooth voice praising you. His pace falters slightly as he feels you throbbing around him but he’s determined to hold out longer for you. He told you that you would cum multiple times tonight and he was always a man of his word.

Your eyes rolled back into your head as you embraced the euphoric feeling. Choked moans left your chest incessantly and Shawn could feel his cock throb at the sound. His thrusting eventually slows a bit after he helps you ride it out, and he pulls himself out of you, giving you a moment to collect yourself.

You’re lying on the bed, absolutely spent. Your breathing is slow and deep, trying to come back down to earth. You close your eyes for a moment but are interrupted by Shawn tapping your hip.

“Lay on your side. Now.”

You comply and quickly roll onto your side, still a bit lost in your bliss. One elbow props you up and you look behind your shoulder as Shawn slots himself next to you, spooning your body.

“Leg up,” he demands, cupping your thigh with his hand and propping it up. He grabs his member and swiftly slips in back inside of you. You whimper at the little pop it takes for him to slip in. He grunts and hisses once he’s slotted all the way inside of you, “Fuck, baby, you’re so tight I barely fit.”

“Mmm, you’re so thick, daddy.” you whimper as he begins his strokes again.

“This pussy is what dreams are made of, Jesus fucking Christ. Could die like this, babe.”

The angle he’s working you at is surprisingly heavenly. His body fits perfectly against yours and he feels so close. His thrusts aren’t quite as fast this way but they feel intensely intimate. You can feel his breath fanning across your shoulder as he slots his face in the crook of your neck. Warmth radiates off of his body, transferring to yours.

The world has fallen away and you’re completely relaxed against his strong body. His long fingers have made their way back to your clit again, swirling wildly. His sighs are close to your ear, sending shivers down your spine. His lips continue working against your neck and he nips at your earlobe.

“Love you so much, babygirl,” he whispers, “don’t forget it.”

You melt further into him, his sweet words sharply contrasting the filthy situation.

“I love you too, Shawn”

His nose nuzzles into your hair and you close your eyes, listening to the sounds falling from his lips. He’s trying so hard to hold out for you, wanting to prolong your pleasure. He shifts a tad, finding that spot again and quickly sends you over the edge.

You wiggle against him, your second orgasm hitting you like a tidal wave. The sound of your cries takes his breath away and he’s determined to hear it at least once more tonight. Pleasure pumps through your body for a few moments and he’s quick to get you on your knees the second you’re done. He shows absolutely no mercy as his tip rubs against your sensitive core, getting ready to slip in once again.

“Shawny, I’m so sensitive,” you whimper, pulling away from him slightly.

His hands grab your hips and roughly pull you back to him.

“You’re gonna give me another one, sweetheart. I gotta remind you who makes you feel this good.”

So that’s what this is about.

Fuck, he’s hot when he’s jealous.

A hand slaps across your ass and you flinch at the feeling, body jolting forward a bit. Shawn’s fingers slip down to rub against your over-stimulated nub and you go weak in the knees. You fall forward, face mashing against the mattress as his fingers spiral against you.

“Sound good, love? Gonna cum for daddy again?”

You nod quickly, your cheek pulling against the mattress you were laid out on. Another slap meets your skin and you groan.

“I need you to say it, baby.” he searches for your verbal consent.

“Yes, Shawn,” you whine, eager to feel him again, “Make me cum on your cock again, please.”

That’s all he needs to bury himself back inside of you. The position you were in made you feel a bit tighter and you winced for a moment as he started moving. Soon, the pain subsided and his pace picked back up to an unbelievable speed. Your jaw was slack as his hips collided with yours. His hands were situated on your waist and he was holding you as-if you would disappear at any moment. His composure was beginning to falter and his moans slowly turned into choked mewls.

You turned your head to attempt to look at him and the sight was beautiful. His head was thrown back, exposing all the valleys on his long neck. His adam’s apple protruded through his smooth skin and his lip was tucked under his straight teeth. His mouth falls open as he picks his head back up to look where the two of you meet. The sight of your wetness soaking him sends chills down his spine. He can’t believe how lucky he got with you.

He catches your eyes and smirks at you before he slaps your ass.

“Like that? Does my good girl like to get fucked from behind?”

“You feel so fucking good like this, daddy, fuuuuck” your voice bounces as his body collides with yours.

“You get so tight after you cum. You feel like fucking heaven.”

You start to meet his deep thrusts, tossing your hips back to meet his pace. He maintains his efforts for a few moments but eventually lets you take what you need of him. He’s absolutely beside himself as he watches you work him.

“Fuuuck, babygirl. That’s it, fuck yourself on my cock,” he growls, “you look so gorgeous like this.”

Shawn lets you go on like this for a bit before he snaps out of his daze. He’s determined to stay in control tonight. He’s determined to remind you who you belong to. Nobody could make you feel this good.

His hips double down, somehow rutting into you even faster than before. You fall silent for a few moments, unable to process how amazing he’s making you feel. Your legs are shaking slightly but his large hands hold you in place, firmly. His mind is consumed by you. Nothing could ever take you from him. No one. He knows he doesn’t have to prove himself, but God is it fun.

“Gonna cum again, baby? I can feel it,” he grumbles while his hands rub your hips and waist. Your words don’t seem to form as high whimpers tumble off of your lips.

“Who makes you feel this good?” he growls, thrusting harshly.

“You do, Shawn,”

“That’s right, only I can fuck you like this,” his dirty words fall out of his mouth like silk, “only me.”

“Only you, Shawny.”

Moans fill the air as you both reach your final highs of the night. Your center throbs around him, milking him for all he’s worth. His chest heaves as he empties himself inside of you. The sound of heavy breathing soaks into the air as you both come down from your explosive highs.

His hands rub across your back as he pulls himself out of you. You sigh at the loss, feeling your juices dripping out of you and down your legs. His fingers spread you apart and his hungry eyes divulge in the dirty sight. You giggle innocently as you push some of it out. It takes everything he has to stop himself from making you go for another round. He smacks your ass playfully and you lower yourself onto your stomach.

Shawn slips off of the bed and makes his way into the dimly lit bathroom for a moment. You bite your lip as you observe his naked figure walking back into the room. He notices your stare and giggles, “Eyes to yourself, pervert,”

“Mmm, rich coming from the man that just made me cum 3 times.” you wittily reply.

“Damn right I did,” he smiles cockily. “Lay on your back, open your legs.”

“Just can’t get enough of me can you?” you giggle, turning over for him. He rolls his eyes and crouches down onto the bed.

“Just wanna clean you up.”

He gently wipes up your mess, paying special attention to be careful with your sensitive core. You smile down at him as you observe his tender care. A kiss is pressed into your tummy before he moves to toss the cloth into the hamper. He stops at your dresser, snagging one of his big t-shirts for you along with a pair of panties and some boxers for himself.

He quickly slips into the black boxers, stumbling over to the bed. You’re still laid across it, spent after your session.

“Can you sit up for me, love?”

You comply and sit up, pressing your lips out and silently asking for a kiss. He smiles and delivers, giving you a soft peck.

“Arms up.”

You lift your arms and he slides the shirt down your arms and over your head, draping you in his favorite shirt. He has you lay back and he tugs a clean pair of panties on you and quickly plops himself on top of you.

His arms squeeze your waist as his head burrows into your neck. You hum at the feeling of his weight on top of you, providing you with a sense of comfort. He melts into your embrace as your small hands run up and down his back. He always gets so soft after the two of you finish; a stark contrast to his dominant demeanor in bed.

“Bubba?” you chirp quietly.

“Hmm,” he hums into your neck, suddenly sleepy.

“You okay?”

“Mhm,”

You frown a little, shifting under him to prop your head against the headboard. He stirs on top of you, avoiding your gaze by staying buried in your neck. Your hand slowly comes to a stop on his back as your mind became preoccupied.

“Are you still upset about Matt?”

He sighs.

“I don’t know, I guess.”

Your frown grows and your hand moves to continue rubbing his soft skin in a feeble attempt to comfort him.

“Yeah?” you inquire, prompting him. He hesitates, still buried in your neck. He feels like he could die of embarrassment if you look at him.

“It’s dumb.” he sighs, trying to avoid the topic.

“If it’s upsetting you, it isn’t dumb.”

His grip around your waist tightens.

“You’re just mine,” he starts. You wait a moment, seeing if he’ll explain further, “I don’t wanna share you.”

“You don’t have to, baby. I’m yours.” you reason, threading your fingers into his hair and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“I know, that’s why it’s dumb. I don’t want you to think I don’t trust you or anything. I just didn’t like seeing him touch you like that.”

You hum, resting your face on his head. His legs are tangled up with yours as he pecks your neck.

“He was just drunk. I’m sorry though, bubby. I didn’t think it would happen.”

His head pops up suddenly, his brows furrowed as he shoots you a confused look. Your eyebrows raise, confused by his sudden movement.

“You don’t have to be sorry for anything,” he blurts, concern lacing his soft voice. “I’m the jealous asshole boyfriend. I should be the sorry one.”

You giggle at his serious tone, smacking his bare shoulder lightly, “whatever,”

“Seriously! I shouldn’t be jealous. I trust you completely. I just got a weird vibe. I don’t know,” he trails off at the end, laying his head back down in your neck.

“I know you do. I love you more than anything and there’s nothing on this earth that could ever take me from you.”

He smiles against your skin, cheeks warming up immediately.

“I love you. Forever.” he murmurs, lifting his head to press a kiss to your lips.

“I love you too. Forever.”

The moment slows again, your bodies resting against the other. The conversation shifts, the two of you decided there was nothing to really talk about. You know he trusts you, and you know he’s not truly jealous. He just got a little territorial and you couldn’t blame him.

“So, what happened to that ribbon you used to tie my hands?” you giggle, switching the conversation.

His eyebrows raise at your question and he blushes, getting worried that you didn’t enjoy it. It wasn’t the first time you’d done anything like that but he still got a tinge of worry.

“Um, I just wanted to feel you,” he slowly states, “w-was it okay?”

“Mmm more than okay. So sexy,” you giggle, stroking his hair. “Just thought you’d use it again.”

“Maybe I will sometime,” he hums, dressing your neck with kisses.

His kisses trail your skin lazily, “Mine.”

“Yours.”

[shiemishuzenji]

100 OC Question Meme!

created by marchenvillain <3

Your Wings edition: Shiemi Shuzenji!

1. What’s a unique skill they have? Is their any reason why they can do it? Shiemi can harness the power of the sun in order to heal wounds. Her Quirk is a mixture of her mother’s (who can bend light) and grandmother’s (who can heal wounds). 

2. What are their favourite possessions? Why? (sentimentality, history, price, etc) The necklace that Hawks gave her is very important to her. She sees it like a symbol of their love. 

3. Do they get jealous easily? If so, what usually causes it? She gets insecure, but she never acts on her jealousy. Often times, if women fawn over Hawks, she gets all up in her feels.

4. Are they a good gift-giver? What do they tend to give as gifts? She’s more of a practical gift giver. She pays attention to what someone really needs and she’ll get it for them.

5. What’s their reputation like? Does this reputation contrast what they’re really like? People (especially when she worked in the hospital) hail her as a good doctor but one with little to no social skills. She’s quiet, so a lot of people think she’s mean. Others, like her old boss, like her polite and respectable nature. 

6. Do they prefer to have a big social circle, or a few close friends? Definitely a few close friends. She’s content with Aizawa, Kayama, and Mic. 

7. What’s their “type”? What romantically attracts them to another person? Men who are confident! If one looks at her track record, her old boyfriends in high school were all jocks who loved the limelight. Hawks is cocky, but a lot of that haughtiness is a facade. She loves that he knows how to tone it down and come back to Earth. 

8. What does their dream house look like? She’s a simple woman: a modern white home with a huge lawn for a garden. She’s always wanted to plant sunflowers. I’m a huge horror fan, so for some reason, I’m envisioning the villa from The Human Centipede… Just the outside! eheh... is that weird?

9. If they could change one part of their appearance, what would it be? Shiemi is actually very lithe; her mother says she’s got no meat on her bones. She would love to bulk up! Also, her cup size is a B. She would change that, too, if she could.

10. What’s a simple thing that brings them joy? Well, Shiemi’s love language is acts of service. It really warms her heart when people help do things with or for her!

11. What is their dream pet? A cat! A fluffy white one. Maybe Aizawa had some influence on her? ❤️

12. What’s their position in their friend group? (leader, mom friend, chaos goblin, etc) The voice of reason. She likes to have practical fun! She’s not as rigid as Aizawa, but nowhere near as wild as Mic.

13. How forgiving are they? What do they consider unforgivable? Shiemi is definitely forgiving, so much so that it is sometimes her downfall. However, she believes there is no excuse for villainy.

14. Who do they go to in a crisis/emergency? Any particular reason why they choose that person? Hmmm, it’s funny because most people go to her in an emergency since she’s got that nifty healing Quirk haha! Shiemi has plenty of people to depend on like Midnight or Recovery Girl, but Hawks is the one she always turns to when she needs saving.

15. How good are they at conversation? Are they a small talk master, bad at initiating, etc? The only person she likes to make small talk with is Hawks, really. She’s not much a talker, and prefers to let others do the talking. This is why she and Aizawa click so well because they both can appreciate silence.

16. What food do they absolutely hate? She actually doesn’t care for greasy foods. Pizza, for example, upsets her tummy. 

17. Do they show a lot of affection, or are they pretty reserved? She’s not into PDA, but she loves to be held and kissed. When she’s sad, she almost always needs a hug. ❤️

18. If you had to represent them with a flower, colour, and animal, what would you choose? I feel like she’s more of a white lily, which I hear symbolizes humility and devotion. Her color would be blush pink, for her more timid nature and her affinity for that color. As for an animal, I think she’d be a snowshoe hare!

19. What’s their unusual quirk? (Quirk with a lowercase q, haha) Shiemi has always had very strong intrusive thoughts, and I’ve made this obvious from the first chapter. I based this on my own struggle with intrusive thoughts, so Shiemi and I can relate on the issue of fighting our inner voices to be better people.

20. Are they easy to wake up in the morning, or grouchy and sleepy? She’s an early bird! Very easy to wake up in the morning.

21. What’s their ideal date like? She loves night walks on the beach followed a busy night of makin’ love ;)

22. What’s their silliest or most unusual fear/phobia? Probably spiders. She’s not the type to scream when she sees one, but if it’s big and hairy, she’ll leave the room.

23. Is their pain tolerance high or low? Pretty low, all things considering. She knows how to fight, she just doesn’t like to because she can’t really handle her own.

24. Are they a fussy eater? Nope! She’ll try just about anything. She understands the importance of eating healthy, so she makes sure to eat her veggies every day. (Unlike me…)

25. What are their dreams like? As the writer, I’ve always made her dreams symbolic. They often reflect her true feelings or the things on her mind.

26. Are they technologically savvy? Yes! Working in the hospital, she’s a quick learner, and working in the hospital, she’s had to learn how to use all the equipment.

27. Are they forgetful? What do they tend to forget? (plans, phone, keys, etc) No, she tries to be very organized. The most that she forgets would be if she’s got a lot of work to do, she might forget one assignment.

28. Describe their morning routine. Open the curtains first (she needs sunlight), drink black coffee, watch the news, take a shower. Suuuper adult of her, I know. She’s a creature of habit!

29. Are they a good cook? If they are, what do they like to make? She’s an okay cook. Certainly not as good as Hawks! She can make basic food, but a lot of it lacks flavor -- something Hawks has had to teach her.

30. Do they consider themselves a “hero” or “villain”? Hero! Definitely. She’ll heal anyone in need, but she works for the heroes, on the side of good.

31. What holiday do they like the most? (Christmas, Easter, Valentine’s Day, etc) Christmas. It’s the one time of year she gets to spend with her whole family. Even though tensions are high, she still loves her family more than anything.

32. What are they like at parties? Party animal, or awkwardly sitting in the corner drinking punch and reading? She’s the wallflower. She’d rather grab a bite to eat and sit back, people-watching.

33. Are they adventurous, or do they prefer to stay in their safe zone? She prefers to live life on the safe side. Though life with Hawks definitely makes things exciting!

34. What’s their favourite drink? (Coffee, tea, juice, hot chocolate, soda, etc) She loves coffee; preferably black coffee. Her go-to drink at Starbucks is a venti black cold brew or a cappuccino.

35. Are they good with children? Yes! Her serene nature tends to calm kids down. She especially used to love healing kids at the hospital.

36. Do they trust easily? What would you have to do to earn their trust? She’s normally very wary of people. She automatically has her guard up when approached by someone new, but honestly it doesn’t take much for her to let down her guard. For example, she was cautious of Twice when she met him, but once she saw that he and Mr. Compress needed help, she immediately dropped everything to help. Blame her big heart, I guess!

37. Are they a hopeless romantic, or is that stuff just not for them? God, YES!! When she first met Hawks, she tried to act all tough, but she’s such a SAP! In her relationships, she devotes everything to her significant other.

38. Do they get lost easily, or are they good with directions? Nah, she’s great with directions. She tries to have a good understanding of her surroundings.

39. Are they superstitious? She doesn’t believe in superstitions; she’s more of a woman of science.

40. Do they like physical activity, or staying inside? She enjoys a bit of both. She especially likes to go for walks, but doesn’t mind spending the whole day inside reading a book.

41. What would they dress up as for Halloween? A zombie nurse -- and I mean that in the laziest way possible. She would put on her uniform and paint her face and call it a day haha

42. Do they like fast food, or fancy restaurants? Fancy restaurants, for sure. She’s a bit of a snob. She’ll eat fast food if she’s on the go, but she grew up in the lap of luxury, and really enjoys the finer things in life.

43. Are they a chaotic bastard, pure angel baby, or tired mom friend? Pure angel baby. SHIEMI MUST BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS.

44. Do they have a good attention span? Yes, especially when it comes to her friends. She’ll sit there and listen to someone talk for hours.

45. Are they always late, on time, or early? Shiemi thinks that if you’re not 15 minutes early, then you’re late.

46. Do they cry, gasp, laugh, etc, while reading a book, or do they remain relatively stone-faced? Stone-faced. She might furrow her brow if she’s into it, but she’s more internal with her reactions.

47. Do they keep a diary? She stopped carrying a diary when she was a teenager and her parents read through it without her permission.

48. How dramatic are they? She’s not haha She cries easily, but that’s just because she feels very deeply.

49. Do they put a lot of effort into their appearance, or do they just make themselves presentable and go? She’s comfortable with her looks, so she mostly curls her bangs and thinks it good to go.

50. Why would they be a good partner for a road trip? She would be president of the backseat! Delivering snacks, giving directions, listening to you talk and talk for hours!

51. Why would they be a BAD partner for a road trip? She’s not much for small talk. If it gets quiet, she’ll let it happen and whip out a book.

52. What topic should nobody bring up around them, lest the other person be subject to a massive ramble/rant? Anything bashing on heroes, or criticizing hero society. She’s so deep in it that she’s blinded to its flaws. She’ll defend Heroes till the day she dies.

53. Are they clumsy? No, she’s too cautious!

54. Are they a law breaker, or stickler for rules? Stickler for the rules. Not as bad as Iida hahaha but she doesn’t do anything she’s not supposed to. Blame her strict upbringing!

55. Choose a vine you think perfectly encapsulates their character. I LOVE THIS QUESTION! I feel like she’s: “Road work ahead? Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does >:( ” or “Is there anything better than pussy? Yes, a really good book.” OOH, OR “How do you know what’s good for me? THAT’S MY OPINION!!”

56. Do they like to share? Yes, my girl is very giving  ❤️

57. What’s the most chaotic thing they’ve done? Have sex with a bird man she just healed the night before :U Shiemi has a high sex drive

58. Which friend do they immediately become a zero-braincelled idiot around? She gets all smitten around Hawks tbh She can compose herself around everyone except for him. Then she’s just a puddle of GOO

59. Do they love or hate surprises? She does not like surprises! They make her uncomfortable and awkward.

60. What sappy thing will they cry at? (romance movies, cute cat videos, etc) Would they deny crying about it later on? She’ll cry during sad movies, but she’s stopped being ashamed of being a crybaby

61. What’s their favourite and least favourite subject in school? Health and science are her best subjects, but her favorite was literature! Her least favorite was probably physical education just because it took her away from the books!

62. Do they take a lot of photos? If so, what of? She prefers professional photos; her camera roll is practically empty!

63. Do they wear makeup? Blush, mascara, foundation, but she only ever wears makeup for special occasions.

64. Describe what their social media would be like. Instagram: “NO PHOTOS” but plenty of tagged photos from Mic and Midnight. Facebook: articles on social issues or new medical breakthroughs.

65. Do they give people a lot of nicknames? No, she doesn’t, actually! 

66. What nicknames do others call them by? She thinks it’s sweet when people give nicknames to her -- e.g. “Doc,” “songbird,” or “sunshine.” Side note: I was really into Yagami Yato when I first started writing, so of course Hawks calls her “Baby bird.” And now I really regret not being more original because goddamn... I’m not gonna go back and change it because Yagami doesn’t own the nickname, but just know that I am upset

67. What’s an outrageous story about them nobody believes? Uhh, that’s a great question. I can’t think of anything, to be honest.

68. Are they easy to fluster? What would you have to do to truly fluster them? Yes! Despite being so cool, calm, and collected, it’s easy to make her blush. Hawks is a pro at getting her all worked up!

69. What’s their dream vacation like? She dreams of traveling, preferably somewhere along the Caribbean islands where she can bask in the sun and discover new plants and creatures.

70. Are they a good liar? She is a notoriously bad liar, mostly because it eats her away inside. She can make a lie work if she commits to it enough, but she’ll always come out with it eventually.

71. What do they want to do in the future? She wants a family. She’s always wanted to be a working woman and come home after a long day to her family. She wishes that a certain someone would be a stay-at-home dad...

72. How do they feel about love? Again, she’s a hopeless romantic. She believes in having strong bonds with both family and friends, but she does dedicate most of her energy into her romantic relationship. 

73. Are they more book smarts, or street smarts? oh my god, BOOK SMARTS. She wouldn’t last a day on her own out there, but man she could recite a whole scene from Shakespeare if you asked her to.

74. What’s their guilty pleasure? Sex. She doesn’t come off as promiscuous, but she would get some every day if she could.

75. Is there anyone they consider their rival? No, in fact Shiemi tends to keep to herself. She’s respectful and supportive of everyone. She does  have enemies, of course, like Dabi or Mr. Compress.

76. Do they have any notable physical features? Her eyes are described as gray, but they’re more purplish-gray. 

77. What’s their music taste like? Classical music takes up most of the space on her phone; Joe Hisaishi is a composer that she admires a lot.

78. What’s something they’re really bad at? Keeping her opinions to herself. She’s brutally honest, to a fault. 

79. Do they have a good sleep schedule? Yesss, her whole life runs on a schedule!

80. What’s their aesthetic sense like? Oh, I’m not sure how to answer this? 

81. What’s something they’re really proud of? Her degrees and awards make her feel accomplished. She has a hard time seeing her worth, but the diplomas on her wall are proof, to her, of what she can do. 

82. How would they spend a free day? In bed, reading a book, snuggled up beside Hawks  ❤️

83. What are they like as an s/o? Lowkey, kind of clingy. She loves attention and wants to spend all her time with her significant other, doting on them, making them feel good.

84. What’s one thing they like that they don’t want anyone to know about? Her sex drive (> w >);;

85. Do they have a sweet tooth? She doesn’t; she’s more of a savory or salty person. I actually really like this dichotomy between Hawks and Shiemi, for some reason? The fact that she takes her coffee black and he takes his sweet is kind of nice.

86. How would you describe their fashion sense? I once had a beautiful professor at university who only wore maxi skirts and nice blouses. Her fashion sense inspired my vision of Shiemi a lot. If she’s not wearing her hero uniform, you can find her in a pink maxi skirt and a white blouse.

87. Do they like spicy food? She can definitely handle her spice, but she wouldn’t choose it!

88. Are they lucky? Do they believe in luck? By all means, she has the worst luck! Can’t say that she believes in it, though.

89. What would they get into a petty argument over? Shiemi stands her ground on her opinions, but she’s more or less an agreeable person. She doesn’t like to argue or cause tension, but she will if it means standing up for herself.

90. Are they a good artist? She can’t draw and she’s got that doctor handwriting lmao

91. Do they prefer hot or cold weather? Hot! Shiemi’s Quirk is most powerful if she’s in direct sunlight. When the sun is behind the clouds, it takes more energy and time for her to heal someone. Despite all that time in the sun, the poor woman can’t tan!

92. Can they play an instrument? Her parents made her play piano when she was a child, but she doesn’t dabble in it anymore.

93. What type of movies do they like to watch? Romance and mysteries! Her favorite movie is Titanic. She cries every time!

94. What does their room look like? Neat and organized. She’s got a lot of bookshelves in her room and a nice set up for her computer space.

95. How do they feel about bugs? Scared? Fascinated? She’s fascinated by bugs, but from a distance. She won’t touch ‘em!

96. What’s their sense of humour like? (Dad jokes, morbid humour, basic knock-knock jokes, stand up comedy, etc) She laughs really hard at stand up comedy. Since she’s a little more serious, she can appreciate how goofy Hawks is!

97. What do they keep in their bag? Cell phone, earbuds, portable charger, folding scissors for emergencies, Band-Aids, and if she’s not wearing it, she’ll fold up her lab coat and put it in there, too.

98. How competitive are they? She’s only competitive with herself. She doesn’t have to be the best, but she can’t stand being the worst. (I’m the same way.)

99. What would they wear to a formal event? Describe their outfit! She actually wore that beautiful red dress in chapter 10! If you Google “Elizabeth Banks Vanity Fair 2020” it’ll pop up. 

100. If you, the creator, met them, would you two get along? Yes! I think that it’s impossible for any author/creator to make a character without at least adding some personal elements in them. Shiemi isn’t a self-insert, but she and I share a love of reading and we’re both overachievers. So I think she and I would make great friends!

[vanityloves]

anyways im gonna listen to/read the fuckin...rise of the ogre shit bc ive been putting it off 🪓🥴 im gonna put stuff under the cut bc im gonna be TALKING n dont wanna make a new post everytime

piss

ok he performed for 2 pounds 50. which is basically $3 today i- well it was absolutely a power play on his father behalf that also had the promise of money so.

also lol he said Rejection fueled my ambitions which, yknow,, i already knew but it still hurts and i will continue to talk ab it xoxo

AH HELP. "...if ebay had been invented at the time he would've sold me online there and then,"

"man hands on misery to man, yknow"

THEN PROCEEDS TO CONNECT IT TO MUSIC/HIS CAREER. this man said :) the one thing i truly have a passion for. the one thing i fucking like.

oh yeah. bullied by students AND teachers.

oh god hes 42ish during this interview? ok.

the fuckin school bully saying he wouldve acted differently if he knew what hed become

getting called "faceache", then proceeds to call 2d that. jfc he really does just repeat what everyone says. really "treating others how i was treated/how they treat me"

maybe thats why? hes kinder to fans? bc :] you support me and like me so, ok ill return that energy

MURDOC GETTING HIS ASS BEAT N PARADING HOME LIKE WELL I WON BC 'I PISSED YOU OFF' SJDJD

a real rowdy boy. absolute nasty boy. fraud and arson... shooting ppls windows with his air pistols

black sabbath being a huge inspiration? fucking absolutely.

became a satanist n shit at age 16? "it fitted me like a glove" "heavy metal and devil worshipping became my favorite past times" ajsj funny that ppl in trying times often seek religion or following of some sort

heavy metal being his favorite, n loving the clash, while hannibals was more punk based

hannibal breaking murdocs nose for the 2nd and 3rd time for playing his music on hannibals turntable

he doesnt sound that bitter? ab hannibal? he doesnt sound incredibly fond but he talks ab how he got him into a lot of music. so, i imagine they we're a bit closer than i thought?

international baccalaureate in antisocial? anthropology?

MURDOC IS ACTUALLY SMART HE WAS JUST. NOT INTERESTED IN THE SUBJECTS? I GUESS? (also,,, he literally Built cyborg noodle and i think he had a PhD too lol. but its always nice to hear hes actually...yknow, interested or good at other things)

alright but murdoc having a fascination w/ other cultures - or at least some interests, that lead him to actually study the damn subject and "pass with flying colors"

'fuck college though. im gonna be a rockstar'

he sold his soul at 18ish? whenever the fuck he got kicked out but college was mentioned so my brain goes to 18ish idk

he lived with his father still and paid rent via low paying jobs one including 'part time dressing as santa'

help he was ab to take a Personal Job for quick cash and uhh well, "still made me call him sir though" he really said 20 dollars is 20 dollars, huh "that story was totally true"

alright, 1997,,,

2d stuff

loves zombie stuff? thats really cute, and is freaked out by the way they move. god he rambles

both he and murdoc are horses in the chinese zodiac

[[jfc ok if the official shit compares them a lot i understand why ppl ship them but Dont. its a narrative foil and that doesnt always mean Romance jfc.]]

SUMTHINK.

truly... a lil stinker. super cute bouncing baby and a "bit thick" which is stull so endearing to me. hes just a happy man!

excitable 10 year old and would dance around his room

jfc the fact he has normal/caring parents. i kinda forget how opposite hes supposed to be from murdoc but i think thats another thing jsjsysg (murdoc said why isnt my tragic story making me famous why does he get to be the Star. no wonder he acts like a loon)

i still dont get how gettin bonked by a tree branch made him go bald and also turn his hair blue

big tiddy nurse mommy,,,

went to the same school as The Cure and got decent grades despite hittin the noggin quite hard. WANTED TO BE A STORM CHASER... OMG??

oh thats really cute, hed bond with his dad by building keyboards toegther 🥺💕

messed around with paints and graffiti? artistic king

MURDOC AGAIN: QHDJ 'VILLANOUS' GANG HELP

oh yeah d day...new instruments, new band, new singer - and 'had to be the best or no dice' and absolutely CONFIDENT that his songs were bangers ajsjd

but on that same note, had absolute faith (or desperate) in 2d which i love

ransacked the fucking music shop jdjdj and 2d said he was Just Standing There behind the counter the whole shift hdhdh

"thats when your eye came out, yeah" "yeah!-" HELP WHY DOES HE SOUND SO HAPPY AB IT ?? yes he said ut hurt but he sounds...ok

jfc murdoc ragdolling this poor mf around. dunking him and slapping him around. actually? so incredibly terrible and abusive and i hate him for that 🔫 im sorry 2d stans. we dont condone that behavior here ong.

how and why the FUCK did 2d's parents allow that fucker near their child after that i??? help. wtf. his moms a nurse why didnt she just have murdoc sit in plain view of other people. god damn.

2d flying out the window n hitting the curb "whoops"

"just two black holes...[ah] it looked great...a blue hair, blacked eyed GOD- the girls would go wild-" "pretty boy looks" ???? HELP. HE DOESNT GO LIGHT ON THE COMPLIMENTS, HUH

RUSS TIME

oh yeah, he straight up kiddnapped this man help. idk how he managed that, russ is a Big Man??

AND MURDOCS MUSIC WAS SO FUCKING SEXY GOOD that russel said hm alright ill stay, :] out ifbhis owm free will im screaming.

"oh this is one of them febreeze commercials" "uh . yeah sure. *murdoc turning on his Sick Tunes*" but that either means? it was just his guitar playing the convinced russ? unless he and 2d recorded sumn?

"2d was the looks, murdoc the brains, then russel truly was the heart"

'while 2d and murdoc liked music, this man was a MUSICIAN' god fucking bless this book holy shit ny man russ getting some respect. he said back hurts from carrying this band.

murdoc basically heard this guy had big trauma that gave him So Many Skills n said "thats what i want" ok idk thats actually really? inch rest ting to me. seems that murdocs fine handing out compliments but i guess that where his charisma really helps out yeah?

"he was going to be in my band whether he liked it or not" ...murdoc-

HELP. 2D IS LIKE BRO GO ON IM LISTENING 🥺 despite hearing the story 50-60 times and murdoc said fuck off you lil shit.

ok irrelevant but i love his voice! its super comforting n nice to listen to 🥺

HELP MURDOCS SO BITTER. "NOTHING THAT HAPPENS TO US IS NORMAL" WELL YEAH. THIS IS TRAUMA CENTRAL.

idk how/why he sucked up all his friends souls though ... how are they all possessing the same person. they said "its my turn on The Russ"

DELL IS HIS ACTUAL, LITERAL SOULMATE...KING...😭

went to a private school,,, and was already possessed? and the thing where he gets bigger and smaller is a reoccurring thing?

was in a coma for 4 years?

hiphop machine...time and history...the ultimate set i guess.

his knowledge was infinite and hes a "Renaissance man" hes so fucking smart our king. jack of all trades but a master of drums. he said i know im good and what of it

PAULA.

HELP. HE RMBRS THE STALL: CUBICAL NUMBER 3 🥴 IF I DO RECALL 🤤

yes russel our king. fuck up his nose 5 more times. probably stunted his growth too. he shrunk after russ gave him a wallop im sure

why dies paula sound like tracer overwatch

also only dated 2d for 2 months before joining the band?

HELP SHE REALLY WAS THE FIRST MURDOC FUCKER: "but when i saw murdoc with his thick greasy hair, green teeth and yellow skin i thought 'oh this is the ine for me!'" "OH HES SUCH A DANDY-" HELP ME IM HQJDHD

sick in the head...like i want to hurt people help girl. shes fucking Crazy. but she rly said damn i didnt hear back from him again 😭 and my purse is gone JSHHD

MURDOC: SHE WAS DEPRESSINGLY UGLY *still fucked her*

NOODLE TIME

"small japanese person!"

2d: we werent gorillaz until noodle arrived!

im dying the reason he chose gorillaz. 'swinging through the jungle baring my ass'

noodle really said "im just happy to be here" and she balanced everyone out 😭 "she gave off pure love and the fact that she could laugh at murdoc REALLY helped too" RUSS... IS BABY

JFC MURDOCS SO FUCKING CONFIDENT IN THIS BAND IM LIVING FOR THAT. HE SAID YOU WANT US SO BAD IT MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID. THE CHARISMA

2d rambling ab some girl he met and "ssSs" "whats the s stand for hawhaw" "i dont know!".

THE RECORD LABEL GUY.

one song is all it took i ❤ good for them

just murdoc talking ab the party that they threw for thier deal and saying "you dont know how much of a dick i felt like [when carrying one of those huge checks]" like oh thats whatll make you a dick? alright.

A FOOD FIGHT THAT WENT SO HARD THAT IT KNOCKED 2DS TONSILS OUT? WHAT THE FUCK

ahshdj damon and murdoc not getting along bc of Rival Band One Uppery + damon calling murdocs cuban heels crap since ge wore steel ones with gold spurs.

MURDOC FEELIN EMBARRASSED BC HES 'QUITE PROUD OF HIS SHOES'

but the band and damon getting over music and their ambitions and became a "paternal figure"

HELP MURDOC SAID AWIOGA @ RACHEL WHICH MADE HER THROW HER DRINK IN HIS FACE AND SPLIT FROM 2D. kinda sad actually, she said i still like 2d but murdoc kinda ruined it by trying to get it in with me, it put a strain in our relationship :/ oh god murdocs That Dude

nov 31 1998: started recording :]

40 tracks that got cut down to 15 holy shit

KONG STUDIOS 🤲

hooking up cameras in every room ejdjsu

webby artist of the year in 2006? holy shit

noodle learning ab kong studios omfg

JFC. YES I KNEW KONG WAS BUILT ON/IN A CEMETERY BUT I DIDNT KNOW PPL FOR THE FUCKING PLAGUE WHERE THROWN THERE HDJD

built in 1739?

the ghost of the first owners ghost still roams around in the kitchen in the early hours and moans 'aaa glass of water'

theres some rotting bullshit near the studios and in the summer its fucking TERRIBLE

the former owners were a biker gang, and they all died in a fire

murdoc said this place has bad vibes. i want it.

grim weather

the building feels impossible to escape from huHgg

[fanficy-au]

Not Enough Time | Deidara x Obito

Title: Not Enough Time For: Tracy  Summary: Obito has tried to reject the idea of his soulmate for years, but as the day approaches closer he can’t deny the growing curiosity. Requested Word Count: 2000 Final Word Count: 2015 Rating: G Tags: Deidara x Obito, male x male pairing, soulmate AU, soulmate - timer AU View on A03 |  Commission Me | Tip A Writer 

Not Enough Time | Deidara x Obito 

The timer has been there for as long as Obito can remember. When he was a child, he sat down and carefully, if a bit simply, told why it was there. His grandmother had filled him with idealizations and stories of finding his soulmate. She tried to make it something for him to look forward to and to not be discouraged by long numbers. He listened for what seemed like hours to stories of how she met her soulmate, how his parents met. He still remembers each story very well.  It almost worked - it would have worked - until all of the other kids ignored him because they couldn’t read his timer; if it was not happening anytime soon, it did not matter.

As he got older, especially  in high school, they explained it in more detail - followed afterward about sexual education. He paid more attention to the former than the later, he will admit.

The timer on his wrist, they had explained, counts down to when he will meet his soulmate. Like him, it is something that everyone has. They still did not explain as well as he had hoped though. No explanations as to why it was there. No questions were asked other than the typical high schooler questions of what if my soulmate is ugly? Which was reassured with it’s your soulmate, you’ll be paired with someone you will love. All ‘reassurances’ felt so empty to him, rehearsed and expected answers that were expected of adults that never actually answered anything; he never got a chance, or the courage, to ask the questions on his mind.

No one else seemed to have the same hesitation that he did. He first noticed this when some of his friends in high school ended up meeting their soulmate; some of the lucky ones had even met their soulmate as children. Always happy. Always excited. Always I have been waiting for you, you are just as I imagined. You are everything I have ever dreamed of. You are even more beautiful than I hoped for.

There was always rumors and chatter about each other’s timers, who may end up who if their timers were even a little bit similar. Some rumors are more scandalous than others. Some of them, ones whose numbers were short and easy to predict, did not even bother trying to date in high school, waiting for their ‘ one true love’. Others liked to dabble, to get experience so they knew what to do when they finally met them; those ones usually had decently long numbers with hopes of meeting their soulmates in college. There never seemed to be that much of a market for kids who just wanted to date; it was seen as pointless if they were not your soulmate (now being in the city, he is sure that most of that was small town thinking). So any hopes he had of gaining the sort of experience had hoped to were shot down fast.

Growing up, none of it ever reassured him the way he thought it would. Seeing so many soulmates meet and suddenly, viola, they are together the next day. Surely, if it worked for everyone else it would work for him, wouldn’t it? Then again, he never was like anyone else in other categories. Never athletic enough. Never good-looking enough. Never enough.

Instead he just grew anxious. He never understood the hype. The numbers on his wrist felt too long and the longer he had to wait, the more he grew sure that even his soulmate would not want him. What if he was not  ‘everything his soulmate dreamed of?’ What if he was not ‘what they expected?’  What if he didn’t want to be suddenly with someone just because of his timer? What if he doesn’t like them? Or what if they don’t like him?

Or worse, Obito was sure that his soulmate had to be a man. What if they were expecting a girl or someone else?

Obito has learned, with time, that the best way to not be anxious about something was to simply not care about it.

Now, even at twenty-five years old, Obito still does not worry too much about his timer; or at least, he tries not to. He ignores it for the longest time, going as far as wearing sleeves or jewelry that covers the timer. He puts it into the back of his mind, trying his best to not even check how much time is left. If he pretends that it is not there, maybe it will not come true or maybe it will go away all together.

But at his age, the timer is quickly approaching its end. The last time he checked it, he nearly spilled his coffee realizing that it would happen so soon. Four days, five hours, six minutes, 45 seconds. It felt surreal that so much time had passed. That the number that seemed so far away, so out of reach as a small child, is finally approaching. He almost took off work for the rest of the week, just so he could stay home and lock himself away where he can’t possibly run into anyone. His boss, however, had very different plans that led him working so much overtime that he stressed about meeting his soulmate through work.

Of course, this was four days ago. Now, he has no idea how much time is left on his timer. A few hours maybe? Minutes? He bites at the inner cheek of his mouth. He taps his fingers against his desk. It takes all he can to not look at the timer obsessively all through the work day. He tries his best to focus instead, on all the work piling up in front of him.

But just as he is about to clock out for work, heart beating against his chest, he can no longer resist the temptation to look. His hands shake as he lifts up the edge of his sleeve, carefully moving his watch just enough for a small peek at the numbers.

15 minutes. 45 seconds.

He gags, glancing at the watch as if that may have a different time. He thinks wildly about what it is he is about to do and where to go. Will he meet them on the subway? No, he won’t make it there in time. Will he meet them at the coffee shop that he goes to on his way home? Maybe. Hopefully he won’t end up meeting them by accidently spilling something on them. Will it be someone just coming into the building as he is leaving?

Will his soulmate see him and leave? Get mad that it’s him? Will they be disappointed? Turn him away before he even has a chance?

Or will the timer hit zero and he will be walking down an empty street with no one in sight.

Just as his panic is reaching its peek, he hears his boss’ voice over the intercom calling him to the office. He quickly gathers himself together, fixes his tie, runs his fingers through his hair and hopes that there are no signs of his internal struggle.

The only good news, among all this chaos, in this situation is that he already knows his boss, which means the likelihood of meeting someone in his office is slim… right?

He tries his best to listen to his boss, he really does. Every word, however, goes in one ear and out the other. If he gets anything out of this, it is  that he never quite got the chance to clock out so at very least he is getting paid for the long tangent that his boss rambles on.

He normally isn’t so disconnected from work like this - and admittedly, if it was something positive, he would be much more interested -  but all he can think about is the timer on his wrist, ticking away while he sits in the office. He keeps an eye on the clock behind his boss, counting the minutes passing by, and the longer he waits, the more convinced he is that he was right that he never even had a soulmate to begin with.

Leave it to him to be the one whose timer goes off while his boss is rambling mad.

“-But,” his boss takes a deep breath - the first one in what feels like forever, “I have to say that your performance is exactly what this company needs which is why I’ll leave it to you to train our new associate. I trust that you’ll instill the same work ethic to him.”

“He will be completing his six week internship first,” his boss continues, “Then hopefully, we can add him as a permanent hire. With your training of him, we hope that can happen.”

Obito’s eyes widen, an immediate sense of panic rushing over him. He tries his best to cover it up as his boss stands to let someone into the room. He takes that moment to glance at the timer on his wrist. 10 seconds.

Whomever is walking through that door will be his soulmate - or should be, at least. He wonders if their timer will be going off any second now. He stands, double checks that his shirt is tucked in perfectly to make a good impression, and faces the door.

“Please welcome Mister Deidara onto the team.”

A man struts in, almost idly as if he is not nearly as concerned about the situation as Obito is. Blonde hair pulled back into a professional ponytail, sharp blue eyes glancing at his own wrist. Obito swallows thickly, not quite expecting him to get so lucky as to get someone so good looking. He can feel his face warming and hopes that no one else can hear his heart beating against his chest like a hard drum.

“Huh, what do you know,” Deidara says easily as he watches his timer hit zero before glancing up to meet Obito’s nervous gaze. It takes everything for Obito to stand still as Deidara gets closer to him, a flirtatious smile on his lips. Obito wonders if this is just a set up before Deidara does something like hit him or push him away. He braces himself for the worst, but it never quite comes.

Instead, Deidara  looks Obito over carefully, lingering on certain aspects. The smile never wavers. If not for their boss not far off, who has kindly given the pair a bit of space, Deidara may have done or said something more dramatic.

“Look at you…” Deidara states instead, “Well, you’re quite the piece of art, aren’t you?”

He leans in closely, his mouth just by Obitio’s ear as he whispers, “ An absolute, ultimate piece of art.”

Obito’s blush reaches his ears and he tries not to scream when he feels Deidara’s breath against his neck. He almost jumps out of his skin, forgetting how to breathe for a moment as he tries to get his heart under control.

“Obito,” Obito shoves his hand out to greet him, nearly hitting the other man in the chest. He flinches at just how forced his greeting is and the fact that he can not think of anything else to do or say. He figures that his name is a decent start.

Deidara looks at him amused; Obito is thankful that at least the other man has not outright rejected him or worse, ran away. He imagines that it would not look good in front of his boss if he is the reason they lost the new hire. He will be lucky if this whole situation does not get him fired. Actually - he will be lucky if this situation turns out well at all for any of them. Especially him.

Obito holds his breath, waiting anxiously for an answer. Finally, Deidara takes his hand. Obito hopes that his palm is not too sweaty, not too clammy, but Deidara doesn’t seem phased as he grips his hand in a firm handshake.

“Nice to finally meet you,” Deidara grins, “Sorry it took so long.”

[shanethvarosa]

Music Review: 2020

My blog has been a lot of things over the years, but it did originate as something I used to publicly review music; especially in the Visual Kei scene. Since I began the blog so many years ago, I had actually been hired to review Visual Kei and J-Rock music for an actual website: VKH-Press.com, work I am very, very proud of to this day. However, with not much news to comment on or work to critique, I haven’t been as active. Plus, personal issues always seem to stand in my way. However, I always take the time to discuss my passions at the end of the year. There were so many incredible releases, despite the COVID-19 pandemic, and so I wanted to take the time time to discuss my favorite releases and, maybe, the not-so-favorites as well. Quick shout out to Bastille’s Goosebumps EP and Megan Thee Stallion’s Good News LP as I did not get to listen to them before I wrote up my lists, but were still excellent releases. See my thoughts below! 

Overall, there were about 75 albums or groupings of albums I listened to this year and split them between various tiers. Starting with the bad tier, there were actually only ten albums listed here and mostly just because they were seemingly unnecessary collection albums. For example, another Satsuki collection? Rides in ReVellion releasing two greatest hits LPs after only five years of work? Beyonce releasing The Lion King: The Gift again? None of those felt like necessary releases. There weren’t many albums that really screamed bad to me this year, but I really could not stand Vanessa Carlton’s “Love is an Art” or Justin Bieber’s “Changes.” The only other albums on this tier were just underwhelming compared to what I know the artist is capable of, but the “best bad tier album,” in my view, was The 1975′s “Notes on a Conditional Form.” 

The mid-tier albums had all sorts of reasons for being only mid-tier. They weren’t quite bad or outright unnecessary, but are mostly by artists who put out work that was nowhere near the caliber of their usual work or were re-releases or other collection albums. For example, Tove Lo’s “Sunshine Kitty: Pawprint Edition” or Man With A Mission’s remixes/b-sides/covers albums. Nice to have with good quality music, but I wish we’d just have had brand new EPs or LPs. 

The good-tier albums were all really excellent releases, but didn’t hit home the way anything on the “God-Tier” list did. Here, I’d like to share a quick top ten: 

10. Taeyeon’s “Purpose: Repackage” & Japanese EP, “#GirlsSpkOut” 9. Charli XCX’s “How I’m Feeling Now” 8. Miyavi’s “Holy Nights” & “Holy Nights: 2020 Lockdown” 7. TK’s “Sainou” 6. PVRIS’s “Use Me” 5. Buck-Tick’s “Abracadabra” 4. Katy Perry’s “Smile” 3. Alicia Keys’ “Alicia” 2. Dua Lipa’s “Future Nostalgia” & “Club Future Nostalgia” 1. Ava Max’s “Heaven & Hell

Without furhter ado, though, the God Tier Top 25: 

25. Acme’s We Are Visual Kei: Essentially a collection album of several songs that were b-sides that never made a full-blown album. This LP was loaded with some of Acme’s best work and shows that they are going to be here for a long time, despite Div not quite working out. Recommended tracks: Mononoke Requiem, Gekiyama Celluloid, Houkago no Shiiku 

24. Alanis Morisette’s Such Pretty Forks in the Road: Admittedly, a huge fan in the 90′s and loved her cover of Seal’s Crazy. However, before this album I didn’t really listen to much of her body of work and I can see why today’s youth might not listen to this album. It is very “adult” insofar as it deals with her struggles in marriage, parenting, religion, etc. Her vocal performance is exceptional and her song writing remains some of the best in the business. Recommended tracks: Smiling, Nemesis, Reasons I Drink. 

23. Niall Horan’s Heartbreak Weather: Not my usual cup of tea, but for some reason Niall’s music makes me feel softer than normal. He’s very cute and charming and his words are always so romantic. It feels more genuine than the music made by other members of One Direction and kind-of reminds me of earlier Taylor Swift writing, but from a male perspective. Recommended Tracks: Put A Little Love On Me, Arms of a Stranger, Still. 

22. K/DA’s All Out: I don’t even really understand what this is, but I love it. There’s something to do with League of Legends? Cartoons? International pop stars? Whatever it is, I’m totally obsessed. These songs just completely slap. Recommended Tracks: The Baddest, More, Drum Go Dum. 

21. Darrell’s Brilliant Death: This might even “officially” be a single, but there’s enough content to market it as an album. Darrell is a band formed from the ashes of Deathgaze and Ai’s solo project. Who knows why Ai didn’t just continue after his solo album, Confusion, but he decided to go back to the band-format with confusingly-named Darrell. This album is then, incidentally, mostly Deathgaze covers. It brings the production into the new era and gives you a lot of nostalgic love for old hits. Recommended Tracks: Brilliant Death, Evoke the World, Abyss. 

20. Alice Nine’s Fuyajou Eden & Kuro to Wonderland: Neither album was particularly long, in fact these were glorified EPs that could’ve been merged to one two-sided LP, but in either case... Both albums had something really special to offer and felt like a true comeback after years of name changes and finally going back to their original, kanji-styled name. Recommended Tracks: Kakumei Kaika -Revolutionary Blooming-, Testament, Replica, Glow. 

19. Mucc’s Aku: This album felt very long in the making after a series of weird singles that didn’t feel like they were going anywhere. Ultimately, a lot of those singles did not make the album including my favorite one: Taboo. The resulting album, though, did feel very cohesive and thematic and even featured one of this year’s heavy hitters: Hazuki. Recommended Tracks: Aku -Justice-, Memai, Ameria. 

18. Miley Cyrus’s Plastic Hearts: This person is absolutely one of my favorite people in music. I’m pretty sure they have comeout as genderfluid/non-binary, so I want to stick with safe pronouns, just in case. However, they’ve always been a favorite and as they’ve come out as such a champion for the LGBT, I love them even more. The album though gave me a lot of hype for something very 80′s rock, but didn’t quite give me what I expected. All in all, the music was fantastic, just a little off-beat from expectations. Recommended Tracks: Gimme What I Want, Angels Like You, WTF Do I Know. 

17. Rina Sawayama’s Sawayama: I didn’t expect to fall in love with this girl the way I did. My boyfriend recommended “STFU” to me as kind of a joke because the song discusses a lot of Asian racism that I’m always criticizing people in my life for falling into, but then the song was so bad ass I checked out the album. There were so many different types of music on it and she really did a good job with all of them. Then, with the deluxe edition coming out and the hardcore club banger “Lucid” being involved... Just really brought it all home. Recommended Tracks: Tokyo Love Hotel, Lucid, Fuck This World. 

16. Amber Liu’s X: This was just an EP, but every song on it was great. Amber Liu was from f(x), a K-Pop Icon Group, but she always seemed like the odd one out. She was such a tomboy, so silly and funny all the time, and didn’t really behave like other Korean idols. I mean, really, she isn’t actually even Korean. I believe she’s Chinese American. In either case, the EP really noted some of her own personal strugles in the business and also remaining pretty fun at parts too. I saw her live in Philly before COVID-19 and she was truly excellent. Recommended Tracks: Numb, Stay Calm, Other People. 

15. Blackpink’s The Album: Not much of an album at only 8 tracks, but that’s K-Pop for you. I bet next year I’ll be putting “Blackpink’s The Album: Repackage” on my top 25 list. The quality of the music was pretty dope though, all things considered. It was a very solid debut effort with all of their previous songs being somewhere in the same lane as this one. I still kind of believe they are a reminder of what 2NE1 could have been, but they’re doing well enough on their own. Recommended Tracks: Ice Cream, Lovesick Girls, Pretty Savage. 

14. Hazuki’s Year Over All: Kind of a weird way to word it, but Hazuki basically released two albums this year in different formats. His work with his band, Lynch., was pretty magnificent. I’m not one to usually dwell on a Lynch. album. Their singles or featured tracks are what I usually get into, but the actual album (Ultima) really did a good job of showing how versatile Hazuki can be. His solo album, Souen -Funeral-, was an entirely stripped down, gothic orchestral album of Lynch. covers and other J-Hard Rock artists. Hearing it done like this was almost transcendental. Recommended Tracks: Xero, Idol, Ray, D.A.R.K. 

13. Sam Smith’s Love Goes: They had me scared that their album wasn’t coming this year once they pushed it back, back in May. Then again, at the time, an album called “To Die For” was probably super tone deaf. In any case, literally every single released for this album had me in love. So, when they all got included in the final version, I was thrilled. Sam gave us a bonus song after the album as well, but I can see why that one didn’t get on. In any case, this is a huge step up from “The Thrill of it All,” which I didn’t really care for. Recommended Tracks: Another One, Dance (’Til You Love Someone Else), Forgive Myself. 

12. Troye Sivan’s In A Dream: I love this kid. He’s so gay and so not shy about it and it really makes me smile. The EP comes after his last LP, Bloom, where the title track basically talks about bottoming for the first time and this new EP deals with a few other queer issues over weirdly produced beats that just... make sense. Recommended tracks: Stud, In A Dream, Easy. 

11. Matenrou Opera’s Chronos: Unfortunately, this band just lost their guitarist again. Their original, Anzi, was basically the most consummate guitarist in the visual kei scene that wasn’t Hizaki and he left them. Their sound wasn’t quite right since and they seemed to just get it back with Chronos when Jay left them. I guess we’ll see what they do next, but I think Chronos could be their last great release. Recommended Tracks: Chronos, Silence, Reminiscence. 

10. BoA’s Better: A very recent release that hasn’t had much time for me to digest. This is strange for me to put it so high on my list for that reason, but BoA is one of my all time favorites. She never disappoints me. This album was no different. It wasn’t exactly up to par with “Woman” or “Watashi Kono Mama de Ii no Kana,” but it definitely gave us some new and very iconic Queen BoA bangers. Recommended Tracks: Cut Me Off, Start Over, Temptations. 

9. Kesha’s High Road: A semi-step down from Rainbow, only because a lot of the same melodic elements and, sometimes, even beats were used on this album too. However, her vocal performance was outstanding and she even gave us a new dirty-pop song with some interesting indie-pop tracks to go with it. Plus, who doesn’t love a Big Freedia feature? Recommended Tracks: Resentment, Raising Hell, Tonight. 

8. Lady Gaga’s Chromatica: Anyone who knows me knows I don’t really love Gaga anymore. After all the drama with Madonna and her experimentation with “Joanne” I didn’t think I’d ever like her music again. However, she definitely won back big points for me on Chromatica. It was finally fun, weird, dancey, and then simultaneously emotional and I was really able to get back into it. She’s always had the voice, but on this one it also showed us that she still has what made us love her. Recommended Tracks: Rain On Me, Plastic Doll, Enigma. 

7. Koda Kumi’s My Name Is... Angel + Monster: She is, very likely, my Japanese Pop Queen. She always makes these absolutely outlandish bangers of dance tracks that have such a great attitude and beat and when she released re(CORD)... last year? 2018? Who can remember... I thought she could never outdo herself. Then she released “Lucky Star” and I was floored. I was a bit disappointed when they were only to promote a “My Name Is...” collection album, but then, to my surprise, a full set of new tracks came out just after that just blew me entirely away. Guess the last 6 albums must be pretty great, huh? Recommended tracks: Killer Monster, Work It!, Alarm. 

6. Grimes’ Miss Anthropocene: I’ve never been a big fan of Grimes, but when Violence came out I was really looking forward to whatever album this was going to end up promoting. The song is actual fire, but then the LP ended up being some kind of experimental Gothic Pop with Asian Pop influences I never expected. I doubt I’ll ever find something she does this good ever again, but it was really a musical light in the darkness of this year. Recommended tracks: Darkseid, Delete Forever, Violence. 

5. Kylie Minogue’s Disco: Admittedly, my draw to Kylie has always been that she is like some kind of Australian Madonna. Madonna being one of my all time favorite artists... In fact, number 2 for all women I listen to, Kylie has some big shoes to fill with her sometimes generic pop that she puts out. However, I haven’t really truly loved a Kylie song since “Get Outta My Way” and then this album comes out filled with tracks to love for the rest of time. Recommended Tracks: Miss A Thing, Till You Love Somebody, Magic. 

4. Chanmina’s Notebook/Angel: I don’t have really any way of knowing how popular Chanmina is in Japan or if she is as popular in the Japanese Queer Scene as she should be, but god damn does she know what she’s doing. Her music is raunchy, bitchy, and condescending at it’s highest and deeply personal at it’s most mellow. There is no “lowest.” “Notebook” was a two-sided album and “Angel” a strong follow up EP, but all the recommended tracks are from “Notebook.” If you have not listened to “Picky”.... go do it now, I’ll wait. Recommended tracks: Picky, Baby, Lucy. 

3. The Weeknd’s After Hours: Incidentally, I got into The Weeknd after someone said something shitty about him here on Tumblr! I took their likely-valid criticism and went to check him out for myself and I gotta say, I love his work. The beats are literally always on point and his voice is like silk. This album provided more than a few iconic songs and I always can’t wait to see what he does next. Recommended Tracks: Alone Again, Heartless, Blinding Lights. 

2. Halsey’s Manic: The singles and features she did between Hopeless Fountain Kingdom and Manic gave me such insanely high hopes and I was not disappointed. HFK was a strong album of course, but this was near perfection for me. I think the production of this alt-pop album was the star of the show because it wasn’t all one way, there were heavy-bass songs, interesting piano riffs, striaght up punk rock, all of it. She really made an album quite like it’s namesake. Recommended Tracks: Ashley, Killing Boys, Still Learning. 

1. Dexcore’s Metempsychosis: A newcomer to the visual kei and death metal scene, they’ve been putting out single after single for years in preparation for their extemeley long and multidaceted debut album. With a total of about 33 songs, the entire second disc was rerecorded singles from their early days and some even got new lyrical treatment. The main series of songs were, of course, also totally flooring and all of the recommended tracks are the new ones. If you haven’t checked them out by now, you have to! Recommended tracks: Cibus, Scribble, Period.