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humanmoodring-retired · 4 years ago

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Scrying Over You || Luce & Nadia

TIMING: Current LOCATION: Luce’s Bedroom PARTIES: @divineluce and @humanmoodring SUMMARY: Luce peers through the looking glass, and a familiar face peers back.

Focus on the fire. Focus on the flame, on the energy. It lived inside her, it was within her, she could do this she could-- Luce’s eyes flicked open and she stared at the wall of her room, irritation growing. The candle before her sat, untouched. Unlit. Unburning. “Fuck’s sake.” She swore angrily and swiped the candle off her bed. It rolled along the wood flooring and she caught Iggy staring at her from his terrarium, orange eyes reproving. “Sorry.” She apologized to her familiar, running her hands through her hair. She was just so fucking frustrated. Her magic, it didn’t feel right, none of it felt right. She couldn’t sense the flames that lived within her, she couldn’t feel the way they burned in her chest. They were still there, but it was as though they’d been sealed off from her. And if she didn’t have her fire, she didn’t have… anything.

Moisture welled up in the corners of her eyes and Luce swiped at her eyes, ashamed. Here she was, fucking crying because her fire wasn’t listening, when she should be focused on getting her shit together. She reached into her bag, fumbling around for the pack of tissues she kept. As she did, her hand brushed against the silver compact, the scrying mirror she kept on her. It wasn’t her magic, it had been charmed by someone in the coven that had banished her from their ranks. So maybe, maybe it would be different. Taking a deep breath, Luce shut her eyes and focused her magic. She wanted to see… Remmy. She wanted to know that they were okay, in the wake of everything that had happened, even if she couldn’t bring herself to see them in person. She just wanted to know that they were okay. Because she cared. Because she cared for them.

So, Nadia was used to losing time. It was kind of a given, being incorporeal. If she wasn’t existing in the moment, then she kind of wasn’t existing at all. Which was terrifying! But she’d never just lost time during the middle of doing something. She’d been with Blanche, hanging out in her apartment and trying not to think about the exorcism looming on the horizon. Then, she blinked, and somehow she’d made her way to Luce. Which, embarrassingly, wasn’t new. She’d taken to checking in on people when she could, usually during the day while they were going about their lives. Making sure that Kaden was alright when he was doing animal control patrols, checking in on Arthur while he was doing desk work on campus, visiting Evelyn at the Artesian, occasionally watching Luce while she worked at the tattoo parlor. She never went home with them, though, trying to avoid the breach in privacy. Yet, here she was, in Luce’s room. Maybe this was an upgraded form of sleepwalking. It was scary, that she’d somehow advanced to wandering away while in the middle of doing something. She frowned, looking at Luce and the way she was crying, and Nadia wanted to scream over the fact that she couldn’t do anything about anything. Instead, she stepped a bit closer, looking down at the little mirror in Luce’s hand. Then she jerked back as, for the first time in what felt like forever, she saw her reflection.

Luce just wanted this to work. Even if fire was refusing to listen to her, she couldn’t be losing touch with her magic. She couldn’t-- that sort of thing didn’t happen. Witches just didn’t lose their magic like that. She felt a sudden wave of cold rush over the metal of the mirror in her hand and her eyes flicked open, suddenly hopeful. She expected to see Remmy with Moose in their room at the Haunted Mansion, curled up with their dog. Or maybe with Morgan or Blanche or one of their other friends. Instead, a pair of hazel eyes stared at her from a face that was all too painfully familiar. Nadia. Flinching, Luce shook her head. She hadn’t meant to look for her, hadn’t focused the magic there. She’d already run into that bitch at the art store. She’d had enough of seeing her laugh and gloat and twist the lips that Luce had once kissed into a cruel sneer. Luce didn’t want to see her here, in the reflection of her mirror, against the backdrop of--

“Wait. Wait a second.” Luce leaned in, focusing on the mirror, staring at the background. That was… her painting on the wall. The painting that hung over her bed. That was her nightstand, a forgotten coffee mug resting on a coaster. “Nadia?” She whispered before turning around. But, she was only greeted by empty air.

It wasn’t Nadia’s appearance that freaked her out so much, though she’d definitely seen better days. It was the fact that she saw herself, that she even had a fucking reflection, that caused Nadia to check herself over, see if she could feel anything. She ended up sticking her hand through Luce’s bed, and the realization that she wasn’t actually there was crushing, even though she didn’t know what else she’d expected. Of course she wasn’t there, of course she hadn’t somehow gotten her life back without having to go through another exorcism. That would have been too easy. But the sound of her name caused Nadia’s head to snap up. “Luce?” she said, trying not to get hopeful because she knew Luce couldn’t see her. She knew that. But the other woman was looking at her in the mirror, and then when Luce whipped around to face her, Nadia could have sworn her eyes passed over her. “Luce?” She walked closer, slowly, so fucking slowly. “Can you-- Are you-- Luce?”

For a moment, Luce stood there in stunned silence. She’d seen Nadia in the reflection of the scrying mirror, something that shouldn’t have been possible. A scry could only show you an image of something or someone that was tangible and here, someone at a distance away. It couldn’t show you spirits, because they didn’t exist in the same way that people and things did. This… How was this possible? Staring back at the mirror, she did her best to angle it, trying to find Nadia in the small reflection. For a moment, there was nothing and then-- “Nadia.” She breathed. “It’s you, right? It’s really you? And not,” Luce paused, swallowing back the fury and pain that washed over her at the thought of the woman who’d stolen Nadia’s body, “not someone else?” She asked. As the reflection of the mirror passed over the woman’s face, she watched as Nadia’s lips moved. Luce heard a voice, crackling and soft, like it was coming through an ancient radio. And then, her name. A flicker of a smile spread across her lips and she nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, it’s me. I’m here.”

“Oh my god, you can hear me,” Nadia breathed out. “And see me?” She questioned, eyebrows furrowed together as she took in her reflection in Luce’s tiny mirror. She could cry, but instead she ended up laughing, unable to properly understand what was going on. She’d kind of just accepted that, like this, there were only a few people that were going to be able to see her. Luce wasn’t one of those people, or she hadn’t been the last time Nadia had been around her. Though, Nadia wasn’t quite sure how long ago that had been, at this point. “Hi, it’s me. Or-- Yeah, I mean, it’s me.” Not in the flesh, though that might have been a good joke, if a bit morbid. She looked around Luce’s room, but not much had changed since the last time she was there, except Luce looked a lot sadder, and Nadia was lacking a body. “I don’t-- I definitely wasn’t here a few minutes ago. Or maybe longer than that? Time’s, like, fake.” Especially when one didn’t sleep or eat or breathe or any of the other things that had to be done to tell fucking time. “How-- Uh, are you, you know, doing alright?” What else was she supposed to say? Nadia didn’t even know how she got here. She wasn’t going to complain, though.

“Just in the mirror. It’s like-- you’re on one of those shitty walkie talkies though. But, it’s-- fuck. Fuck.” Luce swore, running her free hand through her hair as she stared at the small compact in her palm. “You’re here. You’re actually here.” She didn’t know if she should laugh or cry or… what the hell was someone supposed to do in this situation? There wasn’t exactly a chapter in the Ho-ing Handbook on what you were supposed to do when one of your not quite one-night stands got cast out of her body by a demented spirit. “My magic, well, no magic should be capable of doing this. Scrying, this sort of thing? It’s for looking at things that are far away, in a physical sense.” Shaking her head, Luce continued, “I’m not going to question it right now. You’re actually here.” At Nadia’s question, she let out a shaky breath. Was she doing alright? She could lie. She could lie and pretend that she was fine and that everything was fine. But… She was tired of lying. She was tired of pretending. “I’m not great. Everything’s been… a bit shitty. But, I think I’m preaching to the choir there.” Luce said with a tense attempt at a grin. “How about you? Are you--” Alright wasn’t the right word, how could she be anything close to alright? Nadia had been forced out of her body, she’d had her life stolen from her. Again. “How are you holding up?”

Nadia gave a small wave into the mirror. “You know what? I’ll fucking take it.” She’d give just about anything to be there in person, but this was-- Fine wasn’t the right word, but it was better than everything that had been going on for, like, months. She’d been possessed for months, and it was almost worse than being possessed for years. It was worse than being possessed for years because this time she had so much to lose. More to lose than she ever had before. And she kind of had lost a lot, more than she knew what to do with. But… at least she was there, even if she wasn’t, not really. “I’m here in spirit,” Nadia said, but her nonexistent heart wasn’t in the joke. She was more focused on what Luce was saying, and she glanced at the mirror, a scrying mirror, doing her best to remember what Luce was saying. “So is it normally used for looking at objects or people, or can it be used for both?” It was probably dumb, to be asking questions about mundane things when both of them were going through hell, but it was interesting, and it was something to focus on that wasn’t doom and gloom and the fact that her soul could get destroyed soon. “Shitty is… Yeah. Yeah. You were gone for awhile, too.” Maybe she was showing her hand with that, and she almost wanted to take it back. Luce had said she didn’t want anything serious, and keeping track of when the other left town wasn’t quite casual. Nadia was just… too relieved to be talking to her to care, though. “You know, I’m--” tired, scared, feeling useless. She went through the motion of running a hand through her hair and looked around the room. “I am not quite as dead as I appear.” She shot Luce a wry smile. “Not quite holding up, but definitely holding on.”

The laugh that came out of Luce’s mouth was more out of reflex than actual mirth. “I’d say that’s some gallows humor, but… feels a little soon.” She offered, words trailing off as she continued to stare at the compact. Nadia was really here. Luce had thought that when that woman had won the war in taking control of her body-- well, she’d assumed that Nadia’s soul had been lost. Gone, moved on, whatever the fuck you wanted to call it. She’d thought that Nadia was dead. But, right here, there was proof that she wasn’t. At the other woman’s question, Luce nodded. “Not exactly. It’s used mostly for looking at people, animals. Objects, not so much. You need to have a strong connection to them for it to work-- the last time I used this, I was looking for Nell’s cat.” She said, the words sounding sillier than the reality of the situation. That had been the night at the pet hospital, when she’d gotten a call from a scared Nell. It felt like it had happened years ago. Would Nell even call her now, if something like that happened to Taki? Luce didn’t know the answer to that question, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to.

Shifting on the bed a bit, Luce’s movement caused a shadowy lump at the head of her bed to stir. Rhiannon peeked her head up, eyes blinking sleepily as she padded over. The cat butted her head against Luce’s side and the witch’s gaze flicked back to the mirror. “Hey. Hey, Rhiannon. Nadia’s here. Can you see her?” She asked, tilting the compact towards the cat as best she could. But, the cat flopped back down on the bed and fell back asleep without a second glance at her. “She misses you, I think.” Luce said, attention directed at the mirror again. I miss you too. She wanted to say that. Instead, she cleared her throat, “You knew I left town too, huh?”

“Well, I do have both feet in the grave. I think this goes a little farther than gallows humor, but, hey, I’m still here, so that’s a plus.” It was a bit morbid, but Nadia said it with a smile. Most days, she couldn’t stand being like this. Most days, she had little concept of what a day even was when she wasn’t around another person, a living, breathing person. But she was still here, and, really, nothing made a person overcome their fear of ghosts like actually being one. She moved a bit closer, staring into the mirror and more than a little fascinated with it. It was so weird to see herself again. It was a good reminder that she existed. “Well, apparently this one can look at ghosts. I’ll admit, finding a cat might be a bit more useful.” Nadia didn’t comment on the mirror finding things or people that the user had a strong connection with. She couldn’t, even though she… wanted. She wanted to, but wanting was hard, and she didn’t have time for it. Besides, wanting led to being stupid, and this, everything that existed or didn’t between her and Luce, was something that she was too scared to be stupid about. Casual. It was just supposed to be casual, even if Nadia couldn’t maintain casualness to save her life.

Seeing Rhiannon would have made Nadia’s chest ache if it was possible. Seeing how big her kitten had gotten was just a reminder of how long she’d been gone. She gave the cat a soft smile, especially when Rhiannon didn’t pay her any mind. “Oh, totally, I can tell she missed me.” Nadia laughed a bit and sat on the bed, making sure to stay within view of the mirror, and reached over to pet Rhiannon. She still wasn’t the best at touching things, but she managed to run her fingers through soft fur when she really concentrated. She couldn’t feel anything except the slightest tingle of warmth, but it was nice to know she could even do that. Rhiannon’s ear twitched, which was a good as anything from her; the only thing that would have shown the cat’s love even more would have been if she’d attempted to swat at Nadia’s hand. She looked back at Luce. “I-- Yeah. I mean, there’s not much to do, like this, a lot of the time, so I’d go by Ink Inc. and other places, and you weren’t there, so I figured you weren’t, like, around or anything. I didn’t see you around.”

“Yeah. You’re still here.” Luce echoed. She wanted to ask why, or how-- but, she realized, it didn’t really matter, did it? Nadia was still here. Which meant that there really was a chance that she could get her body back. There was still hope. And that had been in short supply for… a while now. Luce’s eyes remained trained on the sliver of glass in her hand, watching Nadia regard herself in the mirror. It was still so hard to believe that she was really here. With her. Talking to her. “It’s never done this before and I’ve had it since I was a teenager. The-- my mother’s coven, someone from there charmed it for me. I’ve used it before, but it’s never done anything like this. Not that I’m complaining, I just… It’s never happened before.” She said with a slightly disbelieving expression on her face. Did this have something to do with her flames not cooperating? Was her magic, was something wrong with it?

As Nadia moved to sit next to her, Luce waited for the bed to dip with the familiar weight of the other woman. But, of course, the sensation didn’t come. She wasn’t here, not like that. She was… a soul without a body-- not quite ghost and not quite girl either. Swallowing, she did her best to hide how much that reminder pained her and focused on Rhiannon’s sleeping form. She could see Nadia reaching out, could see the barest twitch of the cat’s ear. Proof. Undeniable proof that the other woman really was here. A part of her wanted to reach out, to see if she could feel the barest hint of Nadia’s presence against her skin. But before she could extend her hand, Luce blinked at the woman’s words. “You’d come by the shop? I didn’t know that. I mean, there’s no way I could know. I wasn’t… around.” She said and sighed, shaking her head. “Sorry. I’m trying to get better about-- I don’t know. Talking. Being present. Being,” Better. “Here for people. My birthday came around and I sort of… freaked out. And I fucked off from town for a bit because it was easier than dealing with things.” But then, she’d come back and everything was somehow worse than how she’d left it. “Which was a bad idea. Hindsight 20/20 you know?”

Nadia smiled at Luce. She was still here, for better or for worse, and here was where she’d stay until her dying breath. As far as she knew, her fucking body was still breathing. She liked to think that she’d know whether or not she was dead. Maybe she’d feel it or something. “Okay, so this is a new kind of thing.” Nadia didn’t know shit about magic, but things didn’t just change. Not without a cause. She was mostly ghostly because she’d been kicked out of her body. “So something had to have happened. I-- I mean, I’m glad. It’s kind of nice, that you can see me. Like, not a lot of people can. More than you’d think, but not a lot.” Fuck, how was she going to explain this to Blanche? She’d probably literally just disappeared while they were in the middle of something. But this… was kind of better. “Hey, you’ll figure it out, alright? I wish I could help you find out what’s going on with that thing.” She frowned at the mirror, feeling useless. “But at least you didn’t get, like, a worse spirit, you know? Like, some of them are jackasses.”

It wasn’t like Nadia could blush, but she would have, for sure, if she was in her body. “I mean, only sometimes. I just, like, check on people, sometimes. When I’m not busy.” So pretty often, actually, but that sounded embarrassing and depressing, and busy meant that she was trying to figure out how to not die getting her body back, which was just depressing. “I didn’t, you know, expect you to know I was there. I didn’t even know if you knew I was, uh, like this.” The look on Luce’s face was something that Nadia wanted to brush away. Luce Vural was confident and carefree and smiling (or maybe smirking, but hey, Nadia liked it), and every single time Nadia saw her and she wasn’t, all Nadia wanted to do was help her. These weren’t casual thoughts. She wished she could think casual thoughts. “Yeah? I gotta admit, I thought you were pretty good at it. The, uh, being there for people. Not that we ever-- I mean we kind of talked, but-- Ugh. I’m also not good at this, either. Talking.” It was easier when she wasn’t so fucking focused on her own emotions. Instead, all she could think about was how warm Luce was, and how Nadia could probably feel Luce if she was close enough. Just a little closer. She looked away. “I-- I can’t really blame you for leaving. Town’s kind of shitty, honestly. But… I am glad you’re back.” I was worried about you was better left unsaid, but she felt it. Fuck, she felt it.

That smile-- how could Nadia still smile, after everything that had happened to her? Luce didn’t know how she could do it. As she listened to the woman’s words, Luce’s face fell, expression distant. Something had changed, sort of. She’d helped kill someone. Not that she hadn’t done that before, which was… still something she hadn’t fully unpacked. But, she’d helped kill someone who wasn’t a threat to her, who would have left well enough along if Luce had just let Lydia go. Was her magic changing because of that? Was the fire fading and were souls taking their place? Swallowing, she shrugged and offered a sliver of a smile. “Yeah. I’ll figure it out. Probably just something weird going on with the charm on the mirror. I’ll ask my sisters about it.” She would. No more secrets, and she meant those words this time. No more secrets. “Thanks for the offer, though.”

“You were checking up on me?” Luce said, the words coming out, half teasing, half worried. Had Nadia seen her on the nights when she’d stumbled out of Soul, drunker than she should be? Or the days when she holed herself up in her room, surrounded by sketches that were cast off and pushed aside? “That bitch in your body told me that… you weren’t around. I didn’t know what that meant. I didn’t think you were still around, which,” Luce let out a wry laugh, “Is a pretty shitty conclusion to jump to, now that I think about it.” Listening to Nadia, she almost wanted to grin. Who would have thought that a ghost-- a soul? A spirit?-- could get flustered. “I’m really not. But, I’m working on it.” Luce said, thinking about Remmy. She wanted to be better, but how could she even say that? She’d helped to kill someone they cared about, someone they loved? And she was still running, in a way. She hadn’t talked to them in weeks, too afraid of what would happen if she did.

Staring at the mirror, Luce wished that she could reach through the glass and touch the woman’s face, to do… something. Reassure her? Help her? Luce didn’t know what, all she knew was that her fingers ached to touch Nadia. “I’m glad to be back. I--” Her words hitched and she cleared her throat, “It’d be nice if you were back too.” She said as she shifted in place on the bed. Her free hand rested on the covers and she watched as it passed through the place where Nadia’s hand was, their fingers crossing over one another in the reflection. But, there was no familiar press of skin against hers, none of the cool comfort of her body. Luce was still alone.

“Totally,” Nadia said. “Granted, it was a shit offer made by someone who knows significantly less about--” she motioned to the mirror, “any of this than your sisters probably do, so I’m pretty sure I’d have been more of a hindrance than a help, especially, you know, all incorporeal.” Even if she was in her body and hadn’t been possessed for months, Nadia didn’t know shit about magic mirrors or, just, magic in general. She added that to the list of things she wanted to learn when, if, she got her body back. It was a constantly expanding list. She hoped she got to work through it.

At Luce’s next words, Nadia ran a hand through her hair, the motion a habit that just refused to die despite the weeks she’d been unable to feel herself do it. “Only at work, really. I haven’t been here or anything, actually, since I was here, like, the first time.” Just because she could walk through walls didn’t mean that she should. Even like this, Nadia valued boundaries, tried to uphold them as much as she could. Sometimes, sure, she wandered, usually unaware and for a bit longer than she should, but she always came back to herself, always made sure she didn’t go too far. “Well, the bitch in my body is kind of a bitch so…” She let the words trail off, worry clear on her face. “She hasn’t bothered you, has she? I mean, hurt you. Has she tried to hurt you?” God, Nadia didn’t know what she’d do if-- Cordelia had a habit of knowing how to hurt Nadia by going after the people she cared about. She hated the thought of Cordelia even talking to Luce; she didn’t know what she’d do with herself if the bitch had hurt yet another person that she… cared about. She needed to stop thinking about that. “Hey, working on it’s the first step, right? It’s good that you’re even doing that. A lot of people don’t care to.”

If she closed her eyes, Nadia could imagine that Luce’s hand was in hers, warm and comforting and grounding. Instead, she looked down to where Luce’s hand had simply passed through hers, a steady reminder that, like this, she wasn’t fully present, not when her body was off doing who the fuck knew what. “I wish I was back, too,” her voice thick with emotion and tears that she could shed. She swallowed the feelings down, trying carefully not to get too emotional, even if all she could be was a collection of thoughts and emotions that were only occasionally heard. Strong emotions weren’t good while she was like this, a fact that she had to remind herself often. It was hard, being unable to feel anything but her own emotions. How did people do this? She’d like to get back to normal. She’d never complain about being a fucking empath ever again. “But this isn’t permanent. I should-- It’s being worked on. I’m getting my body back. Soon, hopefully.” She moved her hand a bit and loosely wrapped it around Luce’s. Nadia knew the other woman couldn’t feel it, but it made her feel better to see it. Almost like she was real. She didn’t voice the fact that she could actually die trying to get her body back, that she’d been through two exorcisms and neither of them had gone particularly right, that there were so, so many things that could go wrong. She could be a little hopeful, here, consequences be damned.

Work. The tension in Luce’s shoulders eased some at that and she nodded. Work was safe, for the most part. She’d crashed at Ink more often than she should, stumbling in through the backdoor after a long night at Soul and crashing on the couch. But, it was better than if Nadia had seen her here, or in the woods. At Nadia’s question, Luce shook her head. “Not unless you count messing with my head. She hasn’t done anything to me, so… silver linings, you know?” She said with a tense smile. Even if that bitch had tried to hurt her, would Luce have been able to do anything about it? It was still Nadia’s body, still Nadia’s face that looked back at her, even the smirk and the cruel eyes were distinctly not Nadia. The only thing Luce was good for was fire and even that…

Luce watched the way Nadia’s eyes drifted to their fingers in the reflection of the mirror and, for a moment, she wondered if the other woman would pull away. She had always made it clear that things between them were casual, and Nadia had always been okay with that. But, the fear and anger and sadness that Luce had felt when she realized that the woman had been pushed from her body and trapped in this half-life? It scared her. It terrified her in the same way her feelings for Remmy had. As she stared at the mirror, she watched as Nadia’s fingers curled around her own. Luce wished she could feel her. She wished she could touch her. She wished that she could do something to help, that she could do anything good. “If there’s anything I can do to help, just say the word. I want--” Her words caught in the back of her throat, “to help. If I can, I want to do it.” I want you to be here, to be safe. She wanted to say the words, but some part of her just couldn’t bring herself to voice the truth.

“Well, at least she didn’t try to shoot you,” Nadia muttered. “She seems to enjoy that.” And stab people, apparently. She was still scared and pissed off at the thought of what Cordelia had done to Blanche, and what she’d done to Kaden, what she’d nearly done to Regan. Luce was lucky, in a way, that somehow Cordelia hadn’t decided to take a literal stab at her. Nadia was grateful for that, at least. God, she wished she knew what Luce was thinking, feeling. Some sort of insight into anything that wasn’t herself would be awesome. Nadia liked to think that she was good at reading people, even without the empath thing, and maybe she was, but it was hard like this when she literally had nothing to focus on. “The fact that that’s the silver lining to this whole thing is such shit.”

Looking at Luce, Nadia felt the feeling of waking up from those falling dreams, a tightness having built up in her whole being because she didn’t really have a throat for it to get stuck in. She didn’t have a way to properly express the lingering dread and the relief and the where do we go from here that she wanted to. Fuck, she wanted to. But this wasn’t the time, and it might never be. Instead, she gave Luce a half-smile. “This is helping. Seriously. I… This is grounding, talking with someone. Sometimes…” Sometimes she would be so light that she didn’t touch the ground, and sometimes she was so heavy that she would sink into it. “Sometimes I’m not really here, and talking keeps me present. So, this? This is good.” Any other kind of help would be too much to ask of a woman that barely knew her, even if she wished it was different. She was already asking too much of the people that did know her, know what had happened and what was going on. It was too dangerous. She was putting too many people in harm’s way.

Shoot her? Luce’s eyebrows shot up at that. Who the fuck had been shot at? Christ, what would she even do if that bitch came at her with a gun? She didn’t know how to defend herself against that kind of thing, even with her magic. Which she wouldn’t use, she wouldn’t do that to Nadia. “Kinda tracks with this town, you know? Nothing quite like radio silence from your local body-snatcher being the bright side of any situation.” She said her words joking, but still tinged with bitterness.

Luce couldn’t imagine what it must be like for Nadia, to exist like this. Not quite here, but not completely gone either. All while she was surrounded by people who couldn’t see her, couldn’t hear her. She was alone in a way that Luce, for all her love of isolation and solitude, knew would drive anyone to madness.“I’m glad. That this is helping. That I can,” still be good, “Do something good.” She said with a nod. Looking at the mirror, Luce hovered her hand over the space where Nadia’s arm rested, fingers tracing shapes in the air where the other woman’s skin should be. A triangle, the sign of fire. A circle, cut into quadrants, the earth. Zig-zagging line, lead. Alchemical marks that were found in any binding ward. But, without a surface to imbue with power, they were just shapes in the air. “I just wish I could do more.” Luce said, voice quiet.

At Luce’s expression, Nadia had to laugh bitterly. “Yeah, she really fucking likes hurting people.” Cordelia liked hurting the people that Nadia cared about because she liked hurting Nadia. That’s just who she was, who she’d become. Anything to get control over a body that wasn’t really hers. Nadia was a fool for giving it up in the first place; she owned up to that, and she knew that all of this was her fault. She was too weak to hold onto what was hers. But Cordelia should have never gone after the people that Nadia cared about. She wasn’t supposed to do that, and Nadia would be damned if she let that bitch do it anymore. “Right? At least she’s not out there murdering people.” As far as they knew, of course. Truthfully, the radio silence was just as concerning, the not-knowing. Because Cordelia was the textbook definition of unstable, and Nadia had been there while she was stable, at least somewhat. Cordelia was prone to violence, but she liked it, the thrill of it. She liked pain, feeling it and causing it. Radio silence could mean anything, and that terrified Nadia.

“I’m glad, too,” Nadia said softly, and, focusing, attempted to squeeze Luce’s hand. It was about the same as trying to brush Rhiannon’s fur; there wasn’t much, but it was something, a reminder that she was there, as much as it might seem like she wasn’t. That was, perhaps the worst part of being like this. As much as she phased through things like they weren’t real, she was the incorporeal one. She was the thing that didn’t really exist. Nothing could touch her; she could only hope to touch them, and sometimes she was too overwhelmed to even manage that. But this? She could do this. She eyes tracked the movement of Luce’s finger’s, remembering like a waking dream the way they felt on her skin. “I can’t ask you to do anything more,” she whispered, too scared to speak loud, too scared of the emotions that would worm their way into her voice. “I don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t know what I’d-- I don’t want you to get hurt. This is gonna be over soon, and I will let you know if I’m-- when I’m back. I will.” Even if she was still like this, even if it went horribly wrong, she’d let Luce know.

As Nadia’s fingers moved to curl around Luce’s in the reflection, a small grin flitted across her face. There was nothing good about this situation, no real reason for her to smile. Nadia was still a ghost, Luce’s magic was still… fucked, nothing had changed in any real way. But, it felt better. Somehow. Looking at the reflection, she watched as Nadia’s lips moved, expecting to hear the words. But, it was like scanning through an old radio scanner, with white noise filtering in with every other word. “Can’t… do more... Don’t want you…” Luce’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion as she tried to piece together the words. “Over soon…. When… back.” Swallowing, Luce shook the mirror, as though that would do something. “I can’t-- something’s happening. I can’t hear you.” She said. Even as she spoke, the sound of static grew and the reflection in the compact began to shift at the edges. “I can’t-- I’m losing you,” Luce said. She was losing Nadia, again. No, no, no. Couldn’t she just have five minutes of something good? Or did she not even deserve that? “I can’t see you, but… stay. Please. If you can.”

“No,” Nadia said with no small amount of despair as she watched her reflection fade from the tiny mirror. “No, please, I just want-- Fuck.” God, she wanted to scream. She could, probably, but that wouldn’t be good for the Vural’s electricity. She needed to stay calm, but it was hard, it was so fucking hard. Especially when she just-- She had more she wanted to say, to make sure Luce didn’t try anything dumb. And she had things she wanted to avoid saying, didn’t know how to say, but she wanted to feel them on her lips and know that they could be heard if she voiced them. “I can stay,” she whispered, even though she knew she wasn’t going to heard. She tried to squeeze Luce’s hand again, though she failed the first few times before she succeeded. She pulled her knees up to her chest, halfway sinking into the bed but not able to bring herself to care. It wasn’t like she needed to put up appearances, anymore. “I’m here.” She didn’t feel like it, but she was. “I’m here.” Reaching over, she managed to tap against Luce’s nightstand once. Two times. “I’m here.”

#chatzy: luce vural #scrying over you #//this is not soft #it's actually v emo #so emo #really just cal and I trying to out-emo each other

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valdangelodumbasses · 4 years ago

Text

Valdangelo Headcannons #1

Leo and Nico are both introverts but Nico loves affection

Leo made Nico tiramisu once and he swallowed it faster than Percy could ever

Leo couldn't look him in the eyes for a week or he got so flustered

Nico is lawyer bf

and a demon at monopoly; him playing w/ Annie is the worst.

gamers! both like monster (specifically mango loco) but Nico also loves tropical redbull

Nico teaches Leo and hazel how to play so they can battle 2v2

Nico wipes the floor and Leo is just glad he understands half the rules

Nico and Leo wear heels.

and they're good at it too.

Confident Nico>>>>>>

Leo has a fucking heart attack when Nico pins him to a wall

Leo makes Nico laugh with his jokes and shitty pickup lines

but when Uses shitty pickup lines on him he steals them, after he stops looking like a tomato

Nico does Cosplay and they cosplay together and its so fucking rad

making out while baking/cooking? more likely than u think

Leo tells Nico he looks cute one day b4 they started dating and Nico is like: Is this friendly affection

Caffeine addicts rise up

but Nico hates coffee and honestly same

teas n energy drinks>>>

Leo is a fucking swine who mixes all his foods and Nico nearly vomits bc he wont let his food even touch goddamit

Piper and Hazel being wingman while Percy and Jason are the matchmakers

p r a n k s

like so goddam many

they are unstoppable and they pin it on the Stolls

or Leo gets caught

Nico n e v e r does bc like? scary emo kid? prankster? nah, NAh,

he sticks his tongue out at leo anytime leo gets caught

bisexual leo or gay leo? leo doesn't even know!

all he knows is that nicos hot and has a cute butt & personality

nico is a theater gay

he sings every musical

his favorites are Heathers, Beetle juice, Legally blond, and the greatest showman

Leo has theater kid energy but probably works the tech stuff

he likes heathers, Chicago, legally blond, Grease, and dear evan Hansen the best

Hamilton is neither of their favorites yet they end up dueting it all the time

Art kid and Repair kid>>>>>>>>>>>>

Percy sees them kiss after dating (and kissing) for 6 months and wait yall are friends?

Hes slow but he means well, Nico sticks his tongue in leo's mouth after percy says that

he's like “O H , sorry im dumb”

“jackpot” “Valdez shush”

they talk abt their moms

angsty emo boys listen to greenday

and every other emo band

Leo calls Nico mammacita once

never again (Nico started crying)

why? It was commonplace used by his uncles and grandpa

Nico demands leo call him that more though

Leo is Hesitant but obliges

mexican or italian food restaurant arguments

leo steals nicos breadsticks even tho he has some

nico steals leo's nachos when he has his own

they're petty? yes but petty and in love!

and gay/ did i mention g a y

Demiboy leo rights

leos a fuckin lefty

Trans Nico rights mtf or ftm rights

nico may not be trans but he's also demiboy

demi boys calling each other they all day because nobody uses the they in he/they (speaking as a demigirl)

If nico IS trans tho hades 100% uses magic to transition Nico bc yes good dad

laughing abt trauma and they're friends are like: NO

memes

“get ur hands off my bf”

“kick their ass baby i got cho flower”

imagine, just imagine nico fussing over leos hair because curly is the cutest

leo fusses over nicos when he's in a slump and brushes his hair

skincare is vital to both

Leo does engineering n shit but does it for like 16 hours straight much to everyone's dismay, but Nico who has (arguably) fresh eyes and make sure his physics is right

Nico loves physics fight me

but nico sleeps like 4 times a week for 3 hours or 3 days a week for 12 hours

Insomnia gang don’t rise up go to fuckin sleep

will keeps giving them melatonin and they always forget to take ti and will is going to fuckin murder them maybe then they'll sleep

u know that comic where they naruto kiss S P I D E R M A N K I S S I E S

nico hangs like a bat and leo is a memelord

nico also loves spider man

they def try to make spider man gear but annie smashes the shit out of it

dorks! comic!

omg comic book shop au nico owns it

soulmate au where u loose shit n it goes to ur soulmate

nico has NO clue what the hell to do with all this nails n hammers n shit

Leo builds stuff out of nicos lost mytho dupes

Leo doesnt know what to do with his underwear, or all the mcdonalds receipts and the crumpled up sketches and sketch books

anyway

aphrodite ships it as she SHOULD and hades n heppy do too

why did i cal hephaestus heppy ? idk maybe aphrodite calls him that

They both hate yoga with a passion

does nico have an obsession with spn or does he hate it sm that he watches it ?

its as ambiguous as leo's sexuality!

Leos like what if i'm straight

then nico walks in

No he's definitely not straight

who even heard of greeks being straight smh

Nico in miniskirts, aline, or any skirt makes leo go brrrrrrr

he wears leggings or tights under them though

Nico also wears leggins to bed

or the fluffy pants he steals from leo so leo doesn't have any pants

“IM FEELINGS DEVIOUS AND LOOKING GLAMORUS-”

band band band band band band band band band Nico can sing and leo plays drums

Nico and katie are friends and Nico has a green thumb so leo is surprised when nico has more houseplants than crowley (Good omens)

He has tons of hanging and not hanging terrariums

Leo tries not to set them on fire

After Leo and Nico start hanging out more Nico bribes Lou Ellen to make his plants fire proof

they are now

Nico knows how to fire a gun and he's good at it

Pirate Nico!!

Leo and Hades get along well

So does Nico and heppy

the parents get along too but they diss heras bad mothering

Nico gets de aged and leo is ???? but he's so CUTE AND TINY

Leo babysits him for a week in the bunker and nobody even knows until Percy and Will goes in there looking for him

Nico and Clarisse sparing? Sweaty bf? Leo loves it and chris and leo are just staring and say “yes”

Nico has freckles and leo kisses each one

Leo has these really dark freckles spread across his body but they aren't as frequent as freckles?? y'all know what i mean? ne way nico kisses them

Leo uses Yall.

It rubs off on nico

jason is a die hard anti y’all

they annoy the shit out of him

Cuddles

nico and leo having bakeoffs

Nico asking piper for advice but editing it so its not super obvious its leo

She figures it out and tells leo like any good bff

nico promptly leaves camp when leo busts in asking if he has a crush on him

hades laughs but understands

leo sulks back to piper and percy is there and Percy got no chill

so he goes down there

Hades ain't too happy w that but Nico just gets so embarrassed and goes back with him

Hephaestus and aphro watching this go down like a romcom

I'm getting tired so im going to stop here anyway stan valdangelo for clear skin

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ask-marcus-cally-and-ari · 3 years ago

Text

Only Human

Chapter 15: Ride or Die

The trio had been allowed to wander while the Freaks discussed their next plan. Marcus, for his part, went looking for a cot or a bed. “I’m so f*cking tired.”

“We have a few spare beds in the medical ward,” a nearby intern piped up, looking up as Marcus passed her desk.

“Thanks.”

“My nephew talks about you a lot,” the intern added. “Jackie Ruez?”

“Our small forward. Nice guy,” Marcus smiled, sitting down. “I remember he didn’t know much English when he first started.”

“You and your friends tutored him, right?”

“That was all Cal. I just taught him basketball and Ari taught him how to paint.”

“He’s been painting a lot these days. “He went through 10 packs of watercolors in just three months.”

Marcus chuckled. “I remember swapping his acrylics with finger paint as a joke. He chased me all through school that day. I probably deserved it.”

“So that’s why he came home with paint all over his hands.”

“I had to wash my hair for an hour to get it all out.” Marcus smiled, and then sighed, a look of tiredness no teenager should have had on his face.. “...look, can you just... just tell him I’m okay?”

“Of course.”

“The last time I got in trouble, it was some kids from a nearby school who jumped me. My teammates tracked down each one, took some bats and metal pipes, and put them all in the hospital. In one night. I don’t want them doing anything like that now. They could get hurt, and on my mama, I bet those *ssholes would turn them just to f*ck with me.”

“You know, if you wanted you could ask Colonel Dyson to put them under HECU Protection. It’s like Witness Protection, just with a lot more security.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

The intern nodded and picked up the nearby phone. “Do you want to call him yourself or do you want me to put in the request?”

“I’d like you to do it. I want to call my team.”

“There’s a phone in the break room over there.” The intern gestured down the hall to Marcus’ right.

“Thanks.”

---

“Man, this sucks! Marcus is who-knows-where being hunted and we can’t do sh*t to help!”

A young teen, no more than 14, grumbled sourly to himself while kicking over a box of wood chips in an abandoned warehouse. Another kid, a few years older than him, looked up from their phone.

“I got a lead a few hours ago. From what I can gather, it looks like he was heading to HECU Headquarters. I don’t know if they’ve made it there yet, though.”

“What can we do? These are, like, supervillains! And we’re just teenagers!”

“We could track them. Cally has a bunch of brainiac friends. Get them together and have them start looking for those *ssholes,” a tall boy, likely 17, suggested.

“Maybe we should get some of Ari’s friends, too,” another kid added.

“Yeah. The more, the better.”

The kid with the phone sat up and started briskly typing away. “Guys, you’re not gonna believe this, but it looks like Marcus has some Freaks of his own. You guys know Spyper and Intelligent Heavy, right?”

“I think so. Didn’t Spyper get his head chopped off and put on someone else’s body?”

“Yeah, he got his body swapped around with Sny.”

“Hey, Wilson. Start finding more good Freaks. The more join up, the more chance Marcus has of getting through this. Have the brainiacs help.”

“I think Marcus is way ahead of us. I found some security footage of the road outside HECU Headquarters and just take a look at who’s with him.” Wilson showed the other kids the footage, where a handful of Freaks accompanied the Trio inside, including Count Jester.

“He got the clown with him?” a younger kid piped up.

“Apparently. Now all he needs is us-”

Ring! Ring!

“Huh? My phone!”

“Who is it, Jackie?”

“Unknown Number. Should I answer it?”

“Answer it, but don’t say anything. If it’s spam, they’ll hang up if they don’t hear anything.”

Jackie did. “Hello?”

“Jackie? It’s Marcus. Are you okay?”

“Marcus!” Jackie gasped. “Are you in HECU? We’ve been looking all over for you!”

“Yeah, I’m at HECU. Your aunt says hi.”

“Aw. How long have you been at HECU?”

“Jester teleported us here about an hour ago. Apparently they were tricked into holding us for the guy who wants to kill us, but that’s been sorted out, and they gave me a pet, so we’re cool now.”

“...I’m sorry, what?”

“Yeah, everyone trying to kill us is working for one dude.”

“Yeah that doesn’t sound bad at all,” Jackie winced.

“Tell me about it. Anyway. I’m calling to ask you not to do something stupid.”

“Whaaaat? Psh, nah, we’re not gonna do anything stupid. Right, guys?” Jackie said with a snide grin, winking at the rest of his team.

“You worry too much, Quinn. Chill.”

“Yeah. Rest easy, we’re not gonna pull some sh*t.”

“Alright. Stay safe out there. And don’t go near any emo Snipers you see.”

“Sure thing, man.”

Jackie hung up, still grinning. “So. Who’s ready to hunt an emo Sniper?’

“I’ll get the others. Viktor. Does your family still have all those weapons?”

“Yeah. Which ones do we need?”

“As many as you can get. Especially long-range. We did tell Marcus that we wouldn’t approach the f*cker, so sniping is the way to go.”

“There’s nothing quite like exploiting a loophole,” Viktor grinned, heading out of the warehouse.

The other boy nodded and dialed a number. “Hey, Olga? Gather the brainiacs. We know where Marcus, Cally, and Ari are.”

“Wait, really!?”

“Yeah. A buncha Freaks are trying to kill them.”

“WHAT!?”

“Yeah. Apparently”

“Holy sh*t... Alright, what do you need help with?”

“Hacking. We need you to track down as many Freaks as you can.”

“On it.”

“And get Ari’s friends. We need numbers.”

“Gotcha.”

Hanging up that call felt heavy, like the life-changing moment it would be for everyone involved.

“Should we have anyone over at HECU to keep an eye on Marcus?”

“No. Then they’d know what we’re doing and try to stop us. We gotta stay off the radar. Wear masks. Disguise our voices. Make sure nobody can identify us.”

“I had a feeling we’d need these!” another kid shouted from the bottom of the warehouse, pulling along a rack of all black disguises.

“Hey, you’re the theater kid, right? I knew you were useful for something.”

“Yep! I had these costumes ready for awhile but we never needed them. UNTIL NOW!”

“Awesome. Guys, get home. We’ll meet back here tonight.”

“Alright. Nobody die overnight!”

“Don’t jinx it.”

The theater kid knocked on the side of the warehouse on their way out.

---

“Thank you all for coming. As you know, a bunch of superpowered *ssholes have decided to kill our friends, and we, the students of Dade City High, cannot allow this to happen.”

As the student body president spoke, Viktor handed weapons to everyone in attendance.

“You are being given weapons now. If you do not know how to use them, Viktor will teach you on the way.”

“What’s the current plan of attack?” A younger student piped up among the crowd.

“We go to HECU. Its location is confidential, but our hackers have found it. We also have a van we stole from a junkyard and fixed to be our ride. You know, to make it harder to track.”

“How are we all gonna fit in one van?” Another student called from the back of the crowd.

“Like sardines.”

“Also, I have a trailer. We can use that for training and extra space,” added a rich kid.

“Couldn’t we just use an old school bus?” One of the engineering students pondered. “Wouldn’t take much to jumpstart it, and nobody would be suspicious of a school bus going through Evo City.”

“From Dade City? That’s two states away,” put in a chess club student.

“What about an activity bus? It’s not uncommon for students to go on field trips that take them across state lines,” another engineering student added.

“That works. You two go steal it. We can take both.”

The engineering students nodded and gathered up their bags before leaving for the school’s parking lot, their bags clinking with metal on the way out.

“Did everyone pack some clothes and supplies?”

“Yeah, but why not electronics?”

The rich kid spoke up again. “I got a cheap phone plan. Everyone gets a phone. This way our parents can’t track us.”

“And they can’t be tracked by anyone else, can they?” a skeptical student inqueried, looking their phone over.

“I was kinda hoping you tech whiz guys could take care of that,” the rich kid replied sheepishly.

The small group of tech students all glanced at each other before sharing a collective nod. “Give us 10 minutes.”

“Good.”

“What do we do once at HECU?”

“Find out where our friends are. By force if necessary.”

“And if any hostile Freaks show up while we’re doing that?”

“Why do you think I’m giving you weapons?” Viktor deadpanned, holding up his own gun.

“Ask a stupid question,” the class clown teased.

“I mean like, one of the really bad ones. Like Painis. I don’t even think our weapons would work against him.”

“Probably run. Or run him over.”

“Let’s pray that Freaks like Nightmare Medic or HOOVYDUNDY aren’t part of this whole thing.”

“Hmm... hey, I just remembered. I have an aunt that works at HECU.”

“Uh... who are you?” the student body president asked.

“Melissa James.”

“Oh no,” the student body gasped in unison.

“...is that bad?”

“Are... are you related to Anita James, by any chance?”

“Yeah! That’s my aunt! She taught me how to build bombs. And tasers.”

“Holy sh*t! You’re related to a mad scientist! THE mad scientist!”

“Yeah, she’s a bit... eccentric. But the point is, she could be our in. And get us better weapons when we get there.”

“Isn’t she under constant surveillance though? I heard she blew up HECU twice in the last three months. That’s not something you just leave unmonitored.”

“In the same three months, she built a weapon that can level cities, a teleportation device, an army of attack microbots, and a shield generator. We could use those against stronger Freaks.”

“Would she even let us use them?”

“She’s a mad scientist who needs her weapons tested, and I hear her boss won’t let her give them to HECU soldiers. I’m not worried.”

“Well…”

“What choice do we have, Todd? Do you want them to kill Ari? Or Marcus? Or Cally? We’re desperate, and beggars can’t be choosers.”

The student sighed. “Alright. Give her a call.”

---

RING! RING!

“Hello?”

“Hey, Aunt Anita.”

“Oh! Hi, Melissa! How are you?”

“Not good. My friends are in danger. I think you may have seen them. Marcus, Cally, and Ari?”

Anita paused, lifting her pen off her notepad. “...yes, they just came in earlier today.”

“Some friends and I are coming to help him out, and we were wondering about using your weapons to do it.”

“Hmm... Come around the back of HECU. I’ll keep the door unlocked for you.”

“Heh... thanks, Aunt Anita. Also, could you maybe not tell those three about this? We told Marcus we wouldn’t do anything crazy, and if he finds out we’re doing this, we’re gonna get our *sses kicked.”

“My lips are sealed.”

“Thanks.”

There was a nod, and Anita, the mad doctor who sent people running with a smile and a wave, hung up.

#only human #breather chapter #freak fortress #tf2 freaks #TF2 #dr. anita james #mad scientist

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clumsyclifford · 4 years ago

Text

kiss in the kitchen like it’s a dance floor

Calum hums. "I could stay with you."

Again Michael's heart gives a lurch. "Really?"

"Yeah, why not?"

HELLO!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY @jbhmalum this is for you i got cute in the ao3 notes and im worried about repeating myself but anyway i really just love and treasure you je t’adore i really wish i could compliment you better in french but i simply do not have the words so suffice it to say that i am so so happy to know you i love reading your fics you are so unbelievably talented not to mention just mad cute and just overall an absolute delight i hope your birthday is super amazing and yeah i love you lots

so here’s a really fluffy domestic malum quarantine getting together fic per the birthday girl’s request i know you’re all thinking fluff???? from bella??? but joke’s on you because i wrote this several weeks ago don’t worry i am still emo inside

title from sunflower vol. 6 by harry styles <3 king shit

read it here on ao3

At risk of sounding overdramatic, Michael is going to die unless he sees Calum in the next week. Possibly less. He's experiencing severe Calum withdrawal, and it shows. Sleeping alone sucks more than Michael can put into words. There's no warm, steady weight against his back anymore, just the flimsy brush of his own duvet. He tucks it as tightly around himself as possible, but it's just not the same as Calum's embrace.

"I miss you," he whines over FaceTime one evening.

"You better," Calum replies. Then, immediately, "Sorry, I mean, I miss you too, obviously."

"You're on thin ice here," Michael grumbles.

"You already know I miss you," Calum tells him.

"I hate being in quarantine. This sucks so bad, Cal."

Calum nods, sighs. "You know…I've been in, like, proper quarantine for two weeks. More than that. Haven't seen anyone or done anything."

Michael makes a face. "Really? No one? Nothing?"

"Yeah, but I mean." Calum tilts his head on the screen. "I could probably come to yours."

For a moment Michael's heart leaps into his throat, and then, just as quickly, it plummets. "You can't," he says. "The travel, and plus then you'd be going back, and I'm pretty sure I've been in some suspicious places recently. I mean I'm being careful, but you know. I don't want you to get it or bring it back with you."

Calum hums. "I could stay with you."

Again Michael's heart gives a lurch. "Really?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"That'd be so amazing," Michael breathes. "Beyond awesome. Oh my God. Can — would you? Seriously?"

"Are you kidding me?" Calum gives Michael a look, like, do you even know me? "Michael. Like, I don't want to overstate things here, but I miss you more than I think I've ever missed anyone, excepting possibly Duke."

"Not as much as I miss you," Michael returns. "I've never missed anyone more. At all. Dogs included." Instantly that feels wrong. "Okay. That's a lie. But —"

"Ha!" Calum crows. "I miss you more. Get destroyed, Cliffo."

"You know what," Michael says petulantly, "maybe you shouldn't come visit."

"Funny," Calum says. "I'll sort my shit out here and then I can probably leave in a few days, is that alright?"

It's more than alright. It's actually the most brilliant thing Michael's ever heard. The prospect of seeing Calum lifts his mood way up into the stratosphere, and he grins, bubbly.

"Yeah, yeah, perfect," he says. "Can't wait."

The look on Calum's face says he can't wait, either.

It's been too many weeks to count since Michael's been hugged, but the moment Calum is in his arms, the time melts away. "Oh my God, I missed you so fucking much," he murmurs into Calum's shoulder. Calum chuckles.

"Yeah," he says, all fond. "Missed you too, Mikey."

"Let's never stop hugging," Michael suggests. "Ever."

Calum pats his back. "I think life would get pretty difficult pretty quickly."

"I don't really see how."

"The bathroom, for starters."

"We'd figure it out. I've seen you naked."

"That's not. Really." Calum laughs. "Fuck. I really missed you. Come on. Invite me in."

"No," Michael says, as Calum pulls reluctantly out of his hold. Calum frowns. "You might have corona."

"Oh, fuck off."

Laughing loudly, Michael leads Calum in. Immediately, Southy and Moose are at his heels, yapping excitedly. Calum kneels, grinning. "Hey, guys! Miss me much?"

"They can just smell Duke on you," Michael says in mock-contempt. It's generally accepted that Moose and Southy favor Calum over, well, basically anyone, but Michael refuses to cave. They're his fucking dogs.

"Oh, fuck," Calum remembers, straightening up, to Moose's displeasure. "Duke."

"Go get him," Michael says. "I'll put your shit in your room."

Calum smiles at Michael, the big, bright one, eyes crinkling in the corners so they almost disappear. Michael thinks if he had to pick one thing to wax poetic about forever, it would be this smile, and how it makes him feel gooey and melty inside whenever Calum turns it on him.

"What?" Michael finally demands, when Calum doesn't say anything.

Calum shakes his head. "Does it have to be something, man? I'm just fuckin' happy."

Michael breathes out, feeling lighter than he has in ages. "Me too."

And with that, Calum turns and goes to get Duke from the car. Michael carries Calum's stuff to Calum's room, which is actually a guest room that's been broken in by Calum enough times that they started calling it his. Not that he stays there that often. Borne of habit from both childhood and hotel rooms, Michael and Calum always elect to share the bed. This, among millions of things, has made Michael's life hard in quarantine. Sleeping alone sucks.

Michael gives the room a once-over as he deposits Calum's bags down. It has minimal decorations but the few that are here are very much Calum. A photograph of the sunset off the beach near their childhood homes hangs above the dresser, and there's a comically large poster of Alex Gaskarth above the bed, which, Michael is somewhat sure, had been the result of a lost bet.

Arms wrap around his middle. "Hey."

"You get Duke set up?" Michael asks, resting his hands against Calum's and tilting his head back.

"On a trial basis, yeah. He's gotten really territorial about his food, though, so if either of your kids tries anything…"

"My kids?"

"Your dogs," Calum says dismissively. "I'm just saying, Duke could kick their asses."

"Um, excuse me?" Michael twists around, prying himself out of Calum's grip. "First of all, it would be two on one, and there's no way your weak-ass mutt could —"

"Weak-ass mutt?"

" — also, Southy can and will scratch, and I know for a fact Moose has never read the Geneva Convention."

"Yeah, but they like me more," Calum says cheekily. Michael makes an offended face, and Calum swoops in and kisses his cheek.

"Hey, don't try that shit. They do not like you more."

“Okay,” Calum says, in a very unconvincing voice. “So. What’s for dinner?”

“Nothing for you if you keep this up,” Michael grumbles, scowling.

Calum chuckles. “I can look through your pantry and make something?”

“I just said I’m not feeding you.”

“Right, that’s why I’m going to be feeding you. ”

Michael huffs. “Don’t cook, we can order something.”

“No, I’m gonna cook. I’ve missed cooking for you.”

“Really? For me? ”

“Yes,” Calum says, looking strangely at Michael. “For you. I’ve missed spending time with you. Doing things for you. Why do you think I sent you the care package?”

“Because you love me?”

“Yeah,” Calum says, which is a little unfair, because Michael had been teasing and had expected Calum to tease in return. But Calum just looks matter-of-fact. “Exactly. So let me cook for you.”

Michael squirms, torn between the desire to make another joke or to let Calum’s love settle over his shoulders like a second skin. “Okay,” he concedes. “I’ll be supervising so I know you won’t poison me, though.”

Calum’s eyes crinkle with his smile. “Oh, no. Hanging out with me in the kitchen while I cook? I can’t think of anything worse.”

“Stop being so fucking sappy,” Michael whines. “You’re making me feel bad for being bitchy.”

“No, by all means,” Calum says airily. “Keep mocking me, your best friend, while I remind you over and over again how much I’ve missed you. I don’t mind at all.”

“You’re a shit,” Michael says, swatting at Calum’s shoulder. “Go make me dinner, peasant.”

“Bossy.”

“You asked to make dinner!”

Calum laughs, and turns to go start dinner. Michael trails after, because whatever he says, however he mocks Calum, he’s missed him far too much to let him out of Michael’s sight for too long.

(And also, Michael likes to try and distract Calum while he cooks. It’s in his top five favorite sports.)

Having Calum here feels so natural it makes Michael wonder if they’d ever actually spent any time apart or if it had been a hallucination. They fall back into routine so easily, routine established from every part of their lives spent together; traditions created back in school, behaviors formed and reinforced through years of sharing hotel rooms, habits only known to the other. Calum slots back into the Calum-shaped gap he’d left when quarantine started, and it’s as if he’d never been gone.

Michael likes the bubble they’re existing in now, where they speak to no one but each other, go nowhere but the store to replenish depleted groceries, and pretend that time isn’t passing in the outside world. They make a dent in their long list of movies to watch together, and occasionally make fun of. Calum runs in the morning while Michael sleeps, and every morning wakes him for breakfast while Michael bitches. They walk their dogs together.

(Michael gapes when Calum lets Duke off his leash.

“Since fucking when?” he accuses.

“He’s a grown dog,” Calum says sarcastically, rolling his eyes. “Michael, he’s like a foot long with attachment issues. He won’t go anywhere.”

Michael stares reproachfully at Moose and South. They stare innocently back. Calum chuckles and pats Michael on the back. “You can let ‘em off as long as I’m here. You know they won’t run away from me.”

“Fuck you,” Michael retorts, looping the leash once more around his wrist. Dream on, he thinks, eyeing his dogs.)

And it’s easy, for a week or two, to think that this is just how people are, or if not, that this is just how they are, how Michael and Calum exist in the world. They’ve been best friends since forever, and there’s no one else in Michael’s life who fills the shoes that Calum does — and why should there be, when he has Calum? It’s not like Michael’s ever needed anyone else, or anything else. Homeless or starving or broke or on a deserted island or stranded in outer space or drowning in an ocean or on death row, Michael’s only wish would be Calum.

Of course it would, though. Calum is everything. Michael’s known that for ages.

They don’t even start under the pretense that Calum will be staying in “his” room; from his very first night at Michael’s he doesn’t even open that door, just follows after Michael when Michael declares he’s going to retire for the night and slips under the blanket with him, wordlessly, a silent agreement that there’s no reason to torture themselves sleeping alone when they don’t need to. This quarantine has given them both a new perspective on solitude; namely, avoid at all costs. So Michael snuggles up to Calum, content even to be the little spoon if it means Calum’s the one whose front is all lined up with Michael’s back, whose arm is slung tightly over Michael’s middle, an unspoken promise that Michael’s not getting away from Calum if Calum has any say. It’s comforting to be held, but not necessary; Michael wouldn’t leave Calum’s arms if the house were on fire.

(Okay, maybe if the house were on fire. But he’d definitely wake Calum for that.)

They do the bare minimum promoting CALM — mostly Michael likes leaving that stuff to Luke anyway, who, as lead singer, gets the bulk of the attention for it. Sometimes Michael decides to be resentful about that, but now it’s nice to know that the world doesn’t expect much from him, from either of them. They FaceTime with Luke and Ashton, who express openly and loudly how envious they are of Calum and Michael spending time together. The world spins on, with Michael purposefully ignoring it. Life is wonderful.

“Right, what’s next on the list?” Calum asks, handing Michael a glass of water and collapsing onto the couch. He kicks his legs up and stretches them across Michael’s lap. Michael gives him a look, and Calum just gives Michael a cheeky grin as he takes a sip of his own water.

“The Umbrella Academy, ” Michael says.

“Isn’t that a show?”

“Yeah, well, it’s next on the list.”

Calum frowns. “Why haven’t we got a separate list for TV shows?”

Michael rolls his eyes. “Because we’re idiots? Or because we probably never anticipated having this much time to actually get through the list. Do you want to watch it or not?”

“Oh, definitely,” Calum says. “Isn’t that, fuckin’…Mikey Way’s, or something? One of the MCR guys?”

“Gerard. Yeah.”

“Dope,” Calum says. Michael reaches for the remote while Calum pulls his legs off of Michael, shuffling around on the couch until his head is on Michael’s lap, legs thrown up over the armrest. Michael settles his free hand onto Calum’s crown, running his fingers along the short hair over his scalp. It’s not that he prefers Calum with more hair — generally speaking, Michael’s favorite version of Calum is always whichever one exists at the moment — but he does miss having more hair to play with. He suspects Calum misses that, too. Calum always liked Michael playing with his hair.

“You might have trouble drinking if you’re laying down like this,” Michael observes wryly, although he hopes Calum doesn’t sit up. It may be stupidly domestic, to be like this with Calum, but that’s always been them, and Michael likes it that way. Prefers it. Friends are stupidly domestic sometimes. Aren’t they?

“Whatever,” Calum says, setting his glass blindly onto the floor in front of the couch. “Don’t, like, kick to the right, and we’ll be fine.”

Michael shakes his head fondly and hits play on the first episode of the show. It’s a good show, and for the first episode he and Calum are both equally taken by it. When it ends, Duke shuffles into the room in search of company, and Calum pats the couch to invite him up. “My son,” he whispers as Duke precariously attempts to climb the couch. “Come here, my son. I can lift you up. I can show you what you want to see and take you where you want to be.”

“Are you,” Michael says, briefly distracted from starting the next episode. “Are you singing Capital Cities to Duke?”

“Shut up,” Calum says, making grabby hands towards Duke until Duke gets the message and comes close enough for Calum to grab. “You’re just jealous ‘cause neither of your dogs want to hang out with you.”

“Because they’re normal dogs who sleep at this hour.” Duke settles himself onto Calum’s chest, collapsing with an adorable whoomph, nose brushing up against Calum’s chin. It’s too cute for words, the pair of them. Michael feels his heart clench inexplicably, and looks away.

“Jealous,” Calum sing-songs. “Go on, start the episode, what’re you waiting for?”

“I don’t think you’ll be able to watch with Duke sitting on top of you.”

Calum makes a dismissive noise. “I’ll be fine.”

And he is fine, right up until he falls asleep about fifteen minutes in. Michael notices straightaway, and wonders when exactly he got so attuned to Calum that he can tell in an instant if he’s awake or asleep. Sure enough, glancing down, Calum is exhaling gently, steadily enough that he’s obviously dropped off. Duke is dozing on Calum’s chest. Once again, Michael’s heart does that squeezing thing that leaves Michael vaguely confused. It’s just Calum. It’s always just Calum; what’s happening now that never used to happen before?

For a moment, Michael entertains the idea of just sitting here forever. It’s a tempting option. Michael’s hand has stalled in Calum’s hair but it still rests there, fingertips grazing the nape of his neck, and Calum’s chest is rising and falling rhythmically, raising and lowering Duke with it. The scene is endearing, charming beyond explanation, the kind of thing that makes Michael wish you could frame moving pictures like they do in Harry Potter, just to watch this moment for the rest of his life. He’d put it up in his bedroom, and look at it whenever he was in need of some sense of peace.

If Calum is asleep, though, it must mean he’s tired, and they should probably go to bed if that’s the case. Michael gives himself another long moment to just watch his best friend sleep, face restful and all creases smoothed. He clicks off the TV.

“Cal,” he whispers.

There’s no response.

“Calum,” Michael repeats softly, scratching his fingernails over Calum’s scalp. “Calum, babe.”

Calum hums and his eyes open groggily. He lifts an arm to rub a hand over his face, and Duke jerks awake. “Hmm,” Calum manages, staring up into Michael’s face with a vaguely blank look. “Oh. Fuck. Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine,” Michael says. “Bedtime, though. I’m kind of tired anyway.”

Calum grabs Duke in his hands and then, with an almighty groan, heaves himself into a sitting position, gently lowering Duke to the ground. Duke leaves the room, possibly to go and harass Moose and South into letting him sleep with them. Michael sees a lot of Calum in Duke.

For a second Calum just sits, elbows braced against his knees, face in his hands. Michael furrows his brow. “You feeling okay?”

Calum breathes out. “Yeah, yeah. Just — more tired than usual, I guess.”

“Sleep in tomorrow,” Michael offers. “Lazy day. I love lazy days.”

“Mike, all your days are lazy days.”

“Fuck you, firstly, and secondly, none of my days are lazy days with you.” Michael pokes at Calum’s shoulder. “Which is obviously completely different, because it means we can cuddle all day, or do whatever. And get takeout! Come on, Cal, lazy day, lazy day, pajama day, lazy day —”

“Okay, okay,” Calum relents. “Yes, fine. Fine.” Michael grins and wraps Calum in a hug from the side, and Calum shakes his head, although Michael knows him well enough to know it’s fond exasperation at worst.

“Lazy day,” Michael sings lightly. Calum huffs a laugh. “Let’s go to bed.”

They go, and Michael’s heart does that squeezing-clenching thing again when Calum burrows into Michael’s chest once they’ve gotten under the duvet. He seems to be tipsy off tiredness, but it’s not anything Michael hasn’t seen before, and he doesn’t know why he’s reacting differently all of a sudden.

Must be the tiredness getting to me too, he thinks dismissively, pretending not to think about the fact that he’s no more tired than usual and he’s been tired before, without weird thoughts about Calum cramming their way into his mind. Best to sleep it off.

(Part of him doesn’t want to sleep it off, though. It’s a lovely fantasy, thinking he and Calum might be something more — not that he wants that, necessarily, but if he were going to want it, he doesn’t think it would be so bad. In the safety of his own mind, in fleeting thoughts, it’s nice to think about. Calum’s Calum, after all. It makes sense that eventually even Michael would start to think things. Just as long as he knows they’re all far-fetched things that are far too delusional to ever be anything but silly, sleepy, inexplicable ideas.)

“G’night,” Calum murmurs, sending a buzz from his words across Michael’s skin. Michael shivers, and hopes Calum doesn’t pick up on it.

“Sleep well,” Michael says quietly, lips brushing Calum’s hair. “And if you get up before ten, I’ll spread rumours about you on Twitter.”

Calum barely breathes out a giggle before he sighs and falls asleep. Michael doesn’t see the point in being awake without Calum, and without ceremony falls asleep as well, warm from Calum’s body lined up against his own.

Despite Michael’s threat, he still wakes up to an empty bed, covers thrown back where Calum must have gotten out. Of course he has. Michael starts brainstorming vaguely irritating rumour ideas to put on Twitter.

It’s eleven, though, which means that technically Calum could have woken up after ten but before Michael. Either way, Michael’s waking up alone again, and that’s annoying.

He shuffles out of bed, pulling on Calum’s Youngblood hoodie as he pads into the kitchen, where, predictably, Calum is making breakfast. Michael wraps his arms around Calum’s waist and hooks his chin over Calum’s shoulder. Calum jerks at the touch before apparently realizing who it is, and settling backwards into it.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” Calum greets him, turning his head to give Michael a kiss on his temple. It strikes Michael as a strangely romantic thing to do, which isn’t a thought he needs to be having. “I promise I wasn’t up before ten.”

“Hmph,” Michael grumbles, which is morning-Michael-speak for come back to bed, but Calum either doesn’t understand or chooses to ignore it. Eyeing the griddle on the stove, he adds, “Pancakes?”

Calum nods. “See, when you wake up early, this is the kind of thing you have time for.”

“Worst lazy day partner ever,” Michael sniffs. “I want to cuddle.”

“What if we eat breakfast and then cuddle?”

“What if you come back to bed and then we eat pancakes when we wake up?”

Calum chuckles. “I don’t know how you’re tired right now. It’s eleven.”

“I don’t know how you’re not,” Michael says, horrified. “It’s eleven.”

Calum just laughs. “I love you,” he says, apropos of nothing, and Michael’s heart does a triple backflip.

“I know,” he says. “If this is a ploy to get me to forgive you for getting me out of bed at eleven in the morning, it’s not working.”

“It’s not a ploy,” Calum says. “But it is working.”

It is working. Just for saying that, though, Michael stubbornly wishes it weren’t, but it’s too late; Calum’s already softened his defenses, thawed his prickly morning mood. “Fuck you,” he mumbles. Calum makes another half-laugh noise and even though Michael’s not looking at his face, he can tell — he can almost feel — the way Calum’s eyes crinkle with his smile.

“You can grab the syrup from the fridge,” he tells Michael. Michael hugs Calum tighter and buries his face in Calum’s neck.

“No,” he says, voice muffled in Calum’s skin. “Shut up.”

“You can’t cuddle me while I’m making pancakes, Mikey.”

“Fucking watch me.”

“Mike.”

“Shh, napping,” Michael mumbles, closing his eyes. He can feel Calum’s racing heartbeat pulsing in his neck, against Michael’s cheek, and distantly wonders why it’s racing. Calum relents, thankfully, and for a moment they just stand there, in the peaceful quiet of the kitchen, Michael’s hands loosely curled into Calum’s shirt. They fit so well it’s almost criminal. “This is perfect,” he sighs, breath hot against his own face where it bounces off Calum’s skin.

Calum settles a hand on Michael’s. “What is?”

Michael hums. “This,” he says again, although he knows that’s mostly meaningless, and it could mean anything. “You. You being here. Just this.”

It’s still kind of nonsensical, but Calum seems to understand anyway. It’s what they do best, understanding each other when nobody else can, when nobody else would bother trying. “I missed you more than I think it’s normal to miss someone,” Calum says quietly. To an outsider listening in, it would sound like a change of subject, but Michael knows it isn’t. It’s perfect to me, too, Calum is saying. It wasn’t any good before. The words hover before them, almost like giving Michael the option to ignore them.

Michael had known that, of course. Michael had also missed Calum more than it’s normal to miss someone. He’d kind of just figured that was how they operated. Calum is saying it like it should be news, like it should mean something monumental, but it’s all the same to Michael. He missed Calum more than a normal person ought to, but not more than Calum deserves. It’s Calum.

“Your heartbeat’s really fast,” Michael murmurs, also a surface change of subject, trying to say so many things, like I missed you too, an insane amount, and is this new for you, too, or just for me? and have I never noticed that your heart pounds when I hug you, or has it just never before? and it’s okay with me, whatever the answer is. He’s almost afraid to pick his head up, scared that he’s going to see the look on Calum’s face and not like it, scared that it’s going to be what he wants it to be. Scared that something is going to change, but almost more afraid that nothing will.

Calum breathes a laugh. “Of course you would notice that.”

“My face is on your neck,” Michael says. “How could I not notice.”

“I meant it,” Calum says, which Michael had also known, and he knows what Calum means, too; not just that he’d meant what he said, but also what he hadn’t, the unspoken this that Michael had been talking about in the first place.

“So did I,” Michael says, meaning that he meant everything he didn’t say, and he wonders if Calum had understood it, but it’s Calum, and they’re them, so of course Calum has understood it. He picks his head up off Calum’s shoulder and Calum twists himself around in Michael’s arms, hands fluttering over Michael’s shoulders before landing. Michael is tempted to point out that he probably shouldn’t turn his back on an open flame, and he probably would if he didn’t think it would ruin the moment. They’re definitely in a moment right now, which should probably be weird, but it isn’t. This should feel weird, but it doesn’t, because it’s Calum.

Michael wonders how many exceptions he’s made in his life for Calum, and how many more he’ll make at the drop of a hat. There’s the world, and then there’s Calum, and the rules stop applying somewhere in transit.

Calum rests his forehead against Michael’s. “I thought that maybe it was just me.”

“How could it be just you?” Michael says softly. His own heartbeat is thudding in his chest. “If it’s you, then it’s me. That’s always been true.”

“This is different,” Calum says, except it’s not. “You changed your mind. Recently.”

Michael blinks. “How do you know that?”

“I just,” Calum shrugs, helplessly. “I don’t know. I could just tell. I can tell.”

“I didn’t change my mind,” Michael says, because he doesn’t know what to say to everything else Calum’s just revealed. Like that Calum must have known before Michael knew. And that Calum must have been waiting for Michael to screw his fucking head on right. And that Calum had noticed, the moment it happened. “I just realized, you idiot. You should have fucking told me.”

“This is my fault? ”

“You knew!”

“I thought it was just me,” Calum repeats.

“Well that was a stupid fucking assumption to make,” Michael tells him. “You were waiting for me to realize.”

“I wasn’t waiting, I was just…” Calum frowns. “Hoping.”

Michael rolls his eyes. “Well, I’m here now,” he says. “I’m all caught up.” They’re dancing around it, he notices, because Michael is just finding his footing and Calum is probably waiting for Michael to say psych!, and neither of them wants to say it. Once they say it, it’s a fact.

It’s a fact already, though. It’s been a part of the MichaelandCalum history since they met, and they’ve both just been idiots about it, basically.

Calum’s eyes crinkle as the ghost of a smile starts to lift at the corners of his lips, and before Michael can even begin to wax poetic about it, they’re kissing. It makes so much sense to be kissing that Michael doesn’t even think, for a moment, that it’s strange. It just feels nice, and feels right, and Calum’s mouth is warm and tastes like chocolate, inexplicably.

Calum exhales sharply when they part. “Fucking finally,” he says, breath hot on Michael’s lips.

“You could have told me we’re in love,” Michael says. “I wish I’d fucking known.”

“Don’t blame this on me. You could have opened your fucking eyes.”

“Pancakes,” Michael remembers. “You’re making pancakes. You should make them.”

“I think, maybe,” Calum says, and then nothing else, just catches Michael in another kiss, sweet like the last, familiar like everything to do with Calum, one of Calum’s hands curling steadily around the back of Michael’s neck. Michael doubts if he’s ever felt more at home than he does right now.

“Okay,” Michael says hoarsely against Calum’s mouth. “More of that. Pancakes later.”

Calum grins. The pancakes sit on the island until they’re cold, vapor dissolving into the cool kitchen air. The world spins on. Life is wonderful.

#michael clifford #calum hood #malum #malum fic #5sos #5sos fic #fic #my fic #actual fluff..........i cannot Believe #how organized am i that this was done and written a couple WEEKS ago #and drafted on thursday bc sunday is HECITC for me #but em i wish you the happiest of birthdays #i hope this fic makes you smile #stuff #i always forget to put my talk tag on these lmao

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tirednotflirting · 4 years ago

Text

i am missing you more than i should (guess i'm not out of the woods)

i attempted to post this to ao3 and then the page crashed so tumblr gets some rights today i guess.

this is another addition to the maisie thing i’m working on. title and inspo from look at me now by maisie peters

read here on ao3 if you wanna

(it’s kinda emo i apologize)

It’s a cold November night when Luke sees Calum again.

Despite the outdoor temperature being displayed on his phone screen, Luke is warm from the alcohol in his belly and the bodies milling around the bar. He’s ordered a drink to feel natural in his current setting but it’s just soda and lime. He’s stepped into this place to wait for Ashton to come pick him up. He had read one top many horror stories about ride share apps and young drunken people and now always gripes at Luke for not calling him for a pick up on a night out. So after watching all of his friends (though that’s kind of a stretch for the people he frequents clubs with) head off into the night, Luke wandered to the place he currently sits at, feeling drawn to the little dive bar he hasn’t been to in ages and sent Ashton his location.

It’s while he’s waiting for his drink that he remembers why he was drawn to this bar. This is Calum’s place. Luke can’t even think up how many pairs of hands he would need to count the number of times they had stumbled into this place, laughing with their arms around each other while tripping their way up to the bar. It’s close to the complex Calum had been living in while they were still in school. Seeing him here now at the other end of the bar, the glitter in his eyes shining even though they’re not taking a single glance in his direction, makes Luke wonder if Calum’s stuck around this area of town.

Because of course Luke wouldn’t know. Luke hasn’t said a single word to the man in ages, hasn’t seen him in probably a year and a half at this point. (He’s tempted to pull out his dying phone to find the last text messages they exchanged to track the time but he knows Ashton probably deleted their messages during one of the many times he ended up on the other man’s couch with tears raining down his cheeks.)

We want different things. That’s what Calum had told him. Luke wanted to see the world. They were about to graduate, he wanted to see everything and he wanted to see it all with Calum. The idea of settling any part of his still mess of a young life scared the hell out of him. Luke wanted to run but he wanted to do it with Calum’s hand holding his own. Calum was so practical, his mind somehow years ahead of Luke’s. They were graduating, it was time to slow down, he was always trying to explain to the boy he’d laughed with and loved for the last four years. The speeds they were trying to live their lives at during those last few months pretty much started pulling them in opposite directions, Luke supposes. Though that didn’t change how much it hurt the day he returned to his apartment to find a box of his clothes and belongings sitting in front of the door with a little note tucked into the side.

Luke had stuck to his plan. It was only in the last couple of months that he’d returned to the city and found a job more permanent, reconnected with Ashton who had stuck it out in the area for law school. He had seen so many places, so many people, so many pairs of brown eyes that had him nearly chasing after strangers on the other side of the world. He hadn’t dared to try to love someone else but eventually his brain stopped trying to play tricks on him to make him see what he had lost because he couldn’t just slow down. Eventually he didn’t wake every morning expecting to see someone curled up beneath the sheets beside him or to walk into the kitchen to find the ever studious business major drinking from the blue mug with the chip in the handle as he checked the news on his phone

Though from what he could see down the bar, Calum hadn’t been on his own since Luke saw him last. Or at least he wasn’t right now.

Luke watches a laugh escape Calum’s lips while he reaches for his glass on the bartop (always a whiskey man, Luke was never not teasing him for his old man drink preferences). He takes a sip and then raises his brows, his lips moving to ask a question Luke can still hear rolling off his tongue if he thinks back hard enough. He watches the glass get passed along to the blonde sitting in front of him and facing away from Luke. The glittering in Calum’s eye changes some as his bottom lip gets pulled between his teeth while a smirk forms on one side of his face. Luke can see the other man’s shoulders rise slightly in response to taking the sip and he wonders if the scrunched up face he used to pull when sipping Calum’s liquor is anything like this new man’s. He figures it must be as Calum’s face softens in a still vaguely familiar way and Luke watches him lean forward to press a kiss to the blonde’s cheek while a hand lifts to cover the other.

Luke squeezes his eyes shut and forces his face away from the couple. He takes a sip of his soda before shrugging his denim jacket from his arms, the bar suddenly feeling far too warm. He’s reaching for his phone in the pocket of his jacket, ready to send Ashton an SOS to get him to hurry along, when a soft voice behind him nearly throws him to the opposite side of the bar. “Luke?”

He jumps as he spins in the stool he’s seating in, Luke’s eyes suddenly meeting the ones he’s been searching for in every corner of the world. He used to spend hours lying awake thinking about this exact moment, about what it would be like to speak again for the first time with his lost great love. (If Ashton were able to hear him thinking that he would scold Luke for being so dramatic. You’re literally 24. Calm down, Luke.) “Hi, Calum,” he returns, praying his voice isn’t as shaky as it feels. The name feels foreign on his tongue and he can’t tell if he’s thankful for that or not.

“How’re you doing, man?” Calum asks, a small smile playing at his lips. “It’s wild to see you in here, not gonna lie. Thought you were still off somewhere with your wanderlust.”

Luke tries to be as subtle as he can as he reaches for his wrist to pinch himself since he’s not entirely sure he believes this moment to be real. He coughs and shakes himself out of his daze. He’s got to be an adult about all of this, he’s a grown up now. “Yeah, I moved back a couple months ago. Was starting to really stress out Mom with the whole travel thing. I’ve moved in with Ashton, if you remember him? He helped me get this admin job at the law firm he’s interning at.”

“Of course I remember Ash!” Calum beams. Luke wonders if he’s also playing at being cool but then he remembers that Calum actually had the guts to walk over to him so maybe this is just a part of being settled down. “Happy for you, Luke. Sounds like a good set up.”

Luke ignores the nostalgia threatening to cloud up his mind at the sound of his name falling from Calum’s lips a second time. “You still working for Donny then?”

“I am! He gave me like, a month after grad to chill before I got back to my old desk with a stack two feet high of files,” Calum laughs and Luke finds himself doing the same. Calum’s internship boss had always been fond of them together. Donny had once helped Luke get flowers delivered for their third anniversary. He was a good guy. “Actually, just got promoted to Managing Financial Advisor earlier this week. Was here, uh, celebrating tonight wit-”

“Hey Cal, thought I lost you there.”

The blonde Luke had only seen the back of before steps into view, his hand dropping to Calum’s back. He’s just barely shorter than Calum, though that’s likely due to the boots the latter is wearing. His eyes are wide and a pale green, like leaves in early spring. Luke wants to hate him but he can’t. This guy looks pretty nice, unfortunately.

“Sorry, love,” Calum replies softly, his hand lifting subconsciously to push hair from the other man’s eyes. It’s an action Luke remembers fondly (and somewhat painfully, if he’s being honest with himself). “Found a familiar face. Michael, this is Luke. Luke, this is Michael.”

Michael’s eyes widen just the slightest bit. Luke isn’t surprised. He can basically guarantee that he’s sitting right at the top of Calum’s ex-boyfriends to discuss list. They spent nearly all of undergrad together. If Michael’s been around for even a little bit it makes sense that he’s heard about Luke. “Nice to meet you, mate.”

“Yeah, you too.” Luke accepts the hand being offered to shake. The whole situation feels way too formal but also dazed. Though Luke is still drunk and there’s way too many memories dancing through his mind of nights out with Calum and nights in with Calum and Calum Calum Calum.

“Well,” Calum starts, his hand moving to rest lower against Michael’s back. “Our Uber is here but I’m glad I saw you Luke. Take care of yourself.”

Luke nods and wishes them both the same in a small voice while they wander away from him. He can’t hear it but based on the worried look he can see on Michael’s face as they head for the door and the way he wraps his arm more firmly around Calum’s waist, Luke knows he wasn’t the only one faking a brave face.

(He allows himself a moment to give into memory then as he thinks back on one of the last times he was headed out of this bar with Calum. It was early February, just a week and change past Calum’s birthday. The air is cold enough to see their breaths as they giggle and bumble about their new courses. Calum keeps lifting Luke’s hands between his own to blow warm air onto them to keep them warm as they head in the direction of his apartment.

When they finally make it up to the third floor and through Calum’s door, they both kick off their boots. Luke’s gone for his easier to remove ones so he has a moment to lean against the door while laughing as Calum pulls at the laces of his Docs. Once removed, Calum steps over to Luke, his arms looping around his waist while Luke’s drop to hang over his shoulders. Their laughter dies out as they sway back and forth slightly in the entryway.

“God, I love you,” Luke sighs as he drops his forehead to Calum’s. “Never want to stop loving you.”

“Please don’t.” Calum laughs gently before turning his head so their lips press together.

Whether it's seconds or hours that they stand there kissing while holding each other in the dull entryway light, Luke doesn’t know. He doesn’t care. All that matters is that Calum never lets go.)

Luke’s phone buzzes on the bartop, a text from Ashton appearing to alert him that he’s waiting in the lot out front. Luke tips back the last of his soda and shouts a thank you to the bartender. He pulls on his jacket and heads in the direction of the door.

He turns for a moment before reaching to push through back out into the cold. He glances around the open room, quick moments of memories playing out in front of him from the years before. He sighs and pulls himself out of it again.

Maybe it’s time to find a new spot to land.

#cake #cake fic #also some malum #maisie series #i think i literally apologized when speaking w meg yesterday bc i was like 'i don't wanna be mean to cake but also'#maisie posting on insta right as i type these tags omfg

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calypsohq · 4 years ago

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► ( lalisa manoban & nonbinary ) according to the school’s records, calypso “cal” saetang is a 21-YEAR-OLD junior studying film, and they live over in gordon. they are a sagittarius, so that must be why others describe them as individualistic, honest, detached and regretful. when i see them, i’m reminded of old journals and diaries with chunks of writing scribbled out, film burning out in an old projector, the faint glow of a television screen late at night. ( gibby, 20, they/them, est ) ◄

andddd we’re on intro number two !!! i still don’t have my braincell but like pls take my bby calypso tyvm.

basics.

name: calypso saetang

nicknames: cal

age: twenty one.

gender and pronouns: nonbinary, they/them.

sexual & romantic orientations: bisexual, biromantic, femme leaning.

major: film.

housing: gordon.

backstory.

trigger warnings: mental illness, death, death of a sibling, grief.

the eldest child of the saetang clan, when calypso was first born, everything the light touched was theirs. they were the shining star in their parents eyes, the single most important thing to exist in their life. cal was their princess, an invisible crown placed upon their head the moment they took their first breath, and they never really got to experience the true power that this held.

why didn’t they get to experience? well, it was simple. another baby came along only moments afterwards, a twin with eyes that shined just as bright as cal’s. they were two halves of the same whole, and for a brief moment, maybe they were equal.

it didn’t last, however. azalea was said to have been, “brilliant” by their doctors growing up, something calypso never showed signs of due to undiagnosed adhd, and immediately the two were different. while azalea excelled with starting to read eons above the level of her peers, calypso found themself with their head in the clouds, distanced from even many of their peers at school.

with the taste of greatness on their tongue, the saetang’s weren’t satisfied with a prodigy for a daughter while their other child left away to rot. no, they wanted stars — two golden ones in their family, to bring them greatness. it starts simple: “calypso, you should be more like your sister,” and suddenly both children are found at odds with each other, a battle that calypso was never destined to win.

it wasn’t that calypso wasn’t capable - no, they were, but they weren’t like azalea. while she could dance and sing, they preferred to be behind the scenes, often dreaming up book and movie ideas and a life much different than their own that they’d scratch away into the depths of journals and diaries that could never meet the eyes of another. they weren’t the same.

this war, often fueled by their parents, started a war between sisters. everything cal could do, azalea could do better - a frustrating game of cat and mouse despite how hard cal would try. by the time the two got to high school, their relationship was irreparable - they shared nothing anymore other than their own face.

during their senior year of high school, the two were permanently split by the ways of nature as azalea passed away only weeks before their graduation. despite the two never being close, it seemed to hit calypso the hardest, who suddenly began to hide away in their bedroom.

in fact, the only reason they left for haddon was to get away from it all - their old swingset in the backyard that hadn’t been touched in years, her old bedroom across the hall, the area where they carved their names into the windowsill in their bedroom, their parents, all of it.

this is SUCH a bad ending to this intro but like ba dum tss that’s where they are now !! they’re in film bc they’ve always been passionate about film and they wear their sister’s bracelet on their wrist always as their tribute to her! also don’t really talk to their parents anymore as they find themself harboring a lot of anger towards them for the rift they caused, but sometimes it’s just them trying to place blame on the lack of closeness the two had on someone other than themself.

study.

trigger warning: drugs mention.

if you say your favorite movie is by [ redacted bc i dont want anyone 2 be offended hello FDHJKFHAJK ] cal will kick you out of whatever room you are in with them. if you are outside, cal will kick you to the sun without any hesitation.

they’re quite opinionated which, is that for their own good or not? only time will tell. they never seem to be able to politely mask their disgust when someone says that they adore the newest adam sandler movie or that, god forbid, friends was funny ( no offense to anyone if u like that, pls know i adore u fdsjhdfhkj ). they can just be a bit pretentious at time, something they will swear they aren’t as they, “don’t care enough” to do such a thing. which, spoiler alert: they do care enough and if you are, unfortunately, someone they talk to, they will ramble to you about how pixar isn’t actually that good but dreamworks ruined itself trying to catch the high of shrek.

they are... a complete pothead though and frankly if you ever need weed they are there for you

they get really philosophical about life and movies the higher they get though so you have to be prepared for some ramble about how everyone is a main character and that tik tok trend was wrong and this idea that some people are more important than others is exactly what capitalism wants you to think.

they tend to be very detached tho - one of their biggest “fatal flaws.” they don’t usually give a fuck if they hurt you, not because they don’t care about you, their emotions just aren’t completely... there

consider them * linkin park vc * numb.

they are very passionate abt hamsters too like they have one named saturn and you WILL see them put it in their pocket and take it to parties simply to go hide in the bathroom and play with it bc their priorities are clearly in check

honestly they just like rodents n probs want a chinchilla too which, valid

was an e-girl before being an e-girl was cool, basically just meaning they are emo. a valid emo, but still they’re quite emo.

they were probs honestly interested in the school because of it’s dark history - the perfect setting and scene for a dark documentary on such a subject, or even a spooky place to shoot a movie. it’s kinda morbid and out of touch but hey, that’s calypso.

they also think the minions are kinda cute so pls roast them

wanted connections.

friends. — i just... i love platonic plots....

best friends. — hONESTLY it’d be really cute if there was a trio that was like, super super sweet bubbly cottage core girl, soft boy, and emo enby n so i am asking for that tyvm

enemies. — i can’t put frenemies down for them bc unfortunately cal is super quick to snip snip bUT LIKE ENEMIES ??? there’s a lot to do here, though frenemies might work if its like, used to be friends n now isn’t like idk listen my brain is gone

exes. — like ?? yea ??

other connections. — did u see my braincell leave ?? did u ?? reread n you’ll see the exact moment it left i swear

#had:intro #mental illness tw #death tw #death of a sibling tw #grief tw #this isn't coherent n thats very on brand for me #* ✧ ˚ 𝐢. reflections .#drug use mention

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breathinginthevapor · 6 years ago

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“Maybe we should just marry each other”

Summary: Your friends are getting married, and you're still stuck being in love with the one guy you'll never get a chance with: your best friend Calum Hood.

A/N: This is fluff so pure it could've been written by a kitten and I am usually SO bad at writing fluff. It might have something to do with it being like one year old because I thought my PC deleted it but I found it alongside many other pieces, (including the beginning of In Another Life) and I actually really like it. Please leave feedback, it would mean a great deal to me! (and can we just talk about how I wrote about Mike and Crys getting engaged a fucking year before it happened?)

Masterlist

I don’t own the picture, it’s from Calum’s instagram.

He’s sitting in the sunlight, a baby blue button-up complimenting his tan skin and his brown eyes almost golden, reflecting the rays of the sun. His face lights up in big grin and your heart swells at the sight. How can he be so beautiful?

“You’re drooling, sweetie.” You turn around at the sound of Crystals voice, her worried eyes meeting yours. You can feel your cheeks heating up and curse yourself for being so obvious.

“I am not!” you object when you’ve gotten yourself together. She shoots you a small apologetic smile.

“You are. And I don’t blame you Y/N, I just don’t want to see you getting hurt.” She pulls you into a tight hug, calming you down and you telepathically thank Michael for bringing her into your life. She always looks out for you and knows what you need, and you are internally grateful for the way she has your back.

“I know. Thank you for being here for me, Crys, but I can take care of myself. I promise.” Crystal nods and smiles again before pushing you in the direction of your best friends.

“Of course you can sweetie. Go enjoy yourself now, you’re only young once, you know!” you laugh at her last words and wink at her before making your way to the boys. They’re all dressed a little more formal than usual but still with the little twist that lets their personalities shine through. It’s a wonder how the boys you grew up with and watched go through awkward emo phases developed such a great fashion sense.

“Hey Y/N,” Ashton says and shoots you a big smile. The four boys are sitting in the grass with beers in their hands and comfortable facial expressions. It’s not often they have time for things like these so when they finally do, they make sure to enjoy it to the fullest.

“Hi guys,” you great them before sitting down beside Calum in the grass. He looks at you smiling, and your pulse slows down. No matter what, Calum’s presence always makes you calm.

“How is Crys handling the grill?” Michael asks worriedly, clearly not trusting his fiancée 100% with the cooking. You laugh, assuring him she’s doing fine. “I think I’m gonna go check up on her either way,” he says, standing up. “And Y/N, don’t think I’ve forgotten about the Just Dance duel you’ve promised me. I’m gonna win that shit.” All of you laugh and Michael smiles wryly.

“Not a chance, Clifford.” He shows you the middle finger and winks at you before going to greet his fiancé. He embraces her and kisses her hair, and your purple-haired friend smiles so bright you’re sure she outshines the sun. The love they share is both hypnotizingly and painfully beautiful because while you’re so insanely happy for them, you’re also so jealous it hurts. They have exactly what you long for with your entire being while the odds for you getting it anytime soon seems so small it’s pathetic.

“Isn’t it crazy? Our friends are getting fucking married. We are getting that old, guys,” Luke says, and the thought finally hits you. You’ve known these guys for the bigger part of your life and without really noticing it, you’ve gotten so old that people your age are starting their own families. And here you are, on the contrary: single, living alone in your apartment with a cat that only really likes you when you feed him, your best friends gone for most of the year and in love with a guy that’ll never reciprocate your feelings. What have you done with your life?

You sink down a lump in your throat, praying that your eyes won’t get watery. It would be so typical you to start crying over something as stupid as this.

“Wow, that’s just depressing. Thanks, Luke,” Ashton answers. “And I’m even older than the rest of you! I swear to fucking God, I found a grey hair this morning.” You all laugh at the exaggeration of the brown-haired boy and shake your heads in disbelief.

“Is that a wrinkle right there?” Luke jokingly asks, causing Calum and you to laugh again.

“Oh fuck off, Hemmings. Wanna play some ball, anyone? I’ll fall asleep if I keep sitting here talking to you idiots.” You stick your tongue out at him, and he rolls his eyes.

“Real mature, Y/N,” Luke laughs as he stands up, joining Ashton’s proposition.

“I’ll pass,” Calum says, and you nod, agreeing. The two others go off and starts kicking the ball around, careless expressions and big smiles on their faces. Perhaps that’s just how it is when you have a job like they have. Perhaps it’s hard to fully grow up when you don’t face the same challenges as others your age. But no matter what, you hope this immaturity will be in them forever. They wouldn’t be the real them without it, to be honest.

You yawn, suddenly feeling a bit tired. It’s been a long, good day with your closest friends, but the stress from work has also been taking its toll on you lately, and it’s showing now. Calum looks at you and then scoots closer to you.

“You can lay your head in my lap if you want. You might be more comfortable that way.” You smile gratefully at him before laying down in the grass with your head in his lap and his hands massaging you scalp with a gentle touch.

“You’re not saying much today, Cal,” you point out after laying in comfortable silence for a couple of minutes. There’s nothing criticizing in your voice, there never is between you and Calum, it’s only an observation and you don’t punk him for answers but simply give him the chance to explain if he wants to.

“Nah, I just- I’ve been thinking, ya know?” you look up at him, his eyes locking with yours. They completely capture you they like they’ve done so many times before, the brown orbs leaving you in awe.

“About what?”

“I dunno, I just … All this is making me afraid that I’ll end up alone while all of you are starting your own families and I’ll just be left to myself,” he says, looking away. You can sense how serious he is by the way his jaw is clenching, and all you want to do is make him feel better. You know that he’s sometimes been frustrated by the fact that all the other boys have girlfriends they can share their life with while he hasn’t, but then again he hasn’t really done anything about it even though many girls would die to be dating your rock star best friend.

“Calum, honey, you will never be left to yourself. All of us here today will always there for you, you know that,” you assure him, gently grabbing his head and turning it towards you. “Besides, I can’t imagine I’ll find someone that’ll want to share their life with me anytime soon, or perhaps ever, either. We can be lonely together.”

He shakes his head, not agreeing with you.

“Of course you will. You are clever and beautiful and sweet and funny and you make the best apple pie ever. Any man would be a fool not to fall in love with you,” he argues, looking you in the eye to show you how much he means what he says.

“You seem to be the only one who thinks so, Cal. I haven’t had a boyfriend or even gone on a third date for years,” you sigh, not telling him the real reason behind the lack of romance in your life. How could you go out with some random guy or girl when your heart is set on someone else?

“Maybe we should just marry each other then? Buy a nice house in the suburban and get a dog and perhaps a baby one day.” You can’t decide whether he’s joking or not. His voice is trembling, although serious but there’s a smile on his lips that you don’t quite know how to interpret. But when he laughs, your heart breaks. Because everything he just described is what you so desperately want for your future and it’s all just a joke to him.

“I- I- I think I’m gonna go help Crys and Mike,” you whisper, feeling the tears forming in your eyes and standing up as fast as possible to prevent him from seeing how affected you are. But contrary to what you had hoped for, he stands up beside you.

“What’s wrong, Y/N? Did I overstep? I’m sorry, please don’t be mad at me,” he begs, sounding more desperate than ever. You turn your face away, trying to hide your tears but he notices, of course he does. You’ve been best friends for almost two decades, after all. He grabs your arm, gently turning you around so you face him.

“I can’t do this, Calum, please let go of me.”

He shakes his head. “Tell me what’s wrong and I’ll let you go.” You look him straight in the eye, one small part of you hating him for making you say what you’re gonna have to say. But the rest of you, the bigger part, just loves him with all of your heart.

“I’m in love with you, you idiot, that’s what’s wrong,” you sigh, voice so low you pray he doesn’t hear you. But you can see it in his face that he does. “And everything you just joked with, it’s my dream, Calum. And the idea is just all fun and games to you.” His grab on you loosens, clearly so shocked by your confession that he forgets to hold on to you. But you don’t run away. After all these years, you deserve a proper rejection. Maybe then you can move on.

"How- how long?" he asks, when he has gotten back the ability to speak.

"Since forever, I guess." You shrug, defying the urge to look away.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” His voice is barely a whisper, but the tension is thick as a brick and you’re sure that the others are watching you right now. They’ve all been waiting for this moment, and you know they’re all anxious to see the outcome.

“Why should I? I’ve never had a chance, I know that. So tell me, Calum, why should I have told you? Because it sure as hell wouldn’t have made any difference!” You’ve raised your voice now, the sharp tone in your voice unfamiliar to both yourself and the Maori boy across you.

“A difference? It would have changed everything, dammit!” he shouts, his face growing almost red with anger. “I’ve loved you my whole life and now you come and say you’ve felt the same for me? What the fuck, Y/N!”

You are in shock. Completely. This can’t be true. You’ve spent so many years telling yourself it was hopeless while he has felt the same for you.

“You- you’re lying,” you whisper, suddenly not having the energy to raise your voice anymore. He shakes his head, taking deep breaths as to calm himself down.

“I’m not.” He walks closer to you, slowly like he’s afraid you’ll run away. But his eyes are back to normal and the anger is completely gone from the brown orbs. And how could you ever run away from him? He´s magnetic to you, always pulling you back if you stray too far away.

“You promise? That you’re in love with me?”

“I promise.”

He puts his hand on your cheek, the rough skin from playing stringed instruments all his life caressing you. And you expect to see a different face, any sign that something’s changed but you find nothing. And then you realise it’s because he’s always been this way. Because, if he’s being honest with you (which you’re pretty sure he is, Calum has never been able to fool you with any lie) then he has always loved you. Nothing’s changed, you just haven’t realized before now that the way he carried you home when your feet hurt too much was more than just a friendly gesture, that the way his gaze lingered a little longer on you than everybody else was because he cared more for you than he dared to admit and that his “I-love-you”s wasn’t the kind you told your best friend. It was more.

And when he kisses you, first hesitant but then, when you kiss him back with greater force, more insistently. And although it’s not fireworks, it’s some sort of release which feels much better. It’s years of emotions unwinding and freeing themselves from their cage. And when you pull away from each other, only to put your forehead against his where you can still feel his breath against your lips, you are both shaking.

“I wish we’d been a little smarter so we could have done this every single day of our lives,” he says. You smile, silently agreeing with him and then you place your lips on his for the second time.

“Finally!” Michael yells, and the others cheer.

“Took you long enough, huh?” Ashton says, but neither you nor Calum listens to them. Perhaps everyone knew besides yourselves, but this is your moment, and you won’t let them interfere.

“I'm pretty sure love you, Calum Hood.” He smiles, pulling you in a little tighter.

“And I'm absolutely certain that I love you, Y/N. More than anything.” And when you’ve kissed one more time, you finally let go of each other and turn to your friends who are all looking at you with happy faces. Perhaps you and Calum will have your own wedding one day, but for now you just focus and Michael and Crystal’s. You’ve got all the time in the world, after all.

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #luke hemmings #calum hood #5sos writing #michael clifford #ashton irwin #5sos one shot #5sos blurb #5sos imagine #5sos fluff #calum hood fluff #calum hood blurb #calum hood writing #calum hood preference #calum hood one shot #calum hood imagine #crystal leigh

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triptychexe · 5 years ago

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TRIPTYCH. DARE. SECOND ALBUM. 7/31/19.

TRACK DESCRIPTIONS TYPED OUT BELOW.

INTRO: BRAVERY:

A purely instrumental/ambient track that was produced and composed by One, Teo, and Van.

"DARE is an album that feels close to getting punched in the gut… Some things that are discussed in this album are not topics that your average idol group sings about. This intro is your airbag.”- ONE

"DARE is no joke. The introduction track is supposed to give you just a taste of what’s to come. We took elements from stand-out tracks like DARE, RED RUM, and THE INVITATION and made it into one short and sweet sample.”- TEO

“Our group has always gotten criticisms. A lot of people dislike that we are very… open about who we are and what we believe in. Not many idols are as outspoken as we are, which is fine, of course. But we want to inspire people with our music to stand up against injustices and wrongs that we see. They need bravery, and we’re more than happy to give them that.”- VAN

DARE:

The title track is the second ever song in Triptych’s discography to feature all 18 members. The song calls out the injustices in society (including unfair police treatment, prejudice against the LGBT, sexual assault cases, to name a few). The track was written by members Nia, Asa, Cal, Teo, and Eli. It was produced and composed by One, Sun, Van, and Sol.

“We feel like people will gossip about something serious for a few days and then forget about it once it’s lost its shock value. This track, in my eyes, is supposed to help people realize that in order to see change, we need to take charge. And that’s what we want to do. This song is a risky move… We could tarnish our reputation with this song. But is it worth it if it gets people talking? I think so.”- NIA

“This is the most politically driven song we have ever made. We’ve talked about gender roles, we’ve talked about general societal standards… but I don’t think we’ve ever been this blunt before. It’s sure to give the older generations a bit of a shock. I can’t wait to see the reaction.”- CAL

“[DARE is] going to be a game changer, I think. I don’t know how to word this correctly without sounding too boastful, but I think our music usually makes an impact in the K-Pop community one way or another. However, I don’t think anyone will ever take an idol group seriously. We hope to change that with this song and other songs on this album.”- ELI

WE ARE:

Featuring all 18 members, this song was written by members Ame, Teo, Fin, Van, Jin, and Eli. With EDM and pop influences, this track explores what it means to truly put aside your pride and be who you want to be.

“There’s a lot of pressure these days to fit in, especially with things like social media being a huge part in people’s lives. I think that people just need to be reminded that at the end of the day, fitting in isn’t all that matters. Being popular isn’t going to make you happy down the line, wearing designer clothing will only make you happy as long as it fits you. Fitting a mold shouldn’t be what people strive for. Fitting into yourself is what truly matters.”- AME

“When I wrote this, I not only had our younger and teenage Artychs in mind, but I also thought a lot about our own maknaes.Our youngest member is currently nineteen, and even though that’s not a child, they still are constantly feeling pressure to conform to what an idol should be. They haven’t been in the game as long as us, so I think some of the lyrics are for our maknae line to learn from.”- JIN

“I’ve always struggled with trying to be someone else that other people liked. If there’s one thing that plagued my teenage years, it was the fear of judgment. I’ve slowly grown out of this fear, but I’d be lying if I said I still care about what others think to some degree. I think writing this song really helped me focus on goals that I want to reach for self-improvement. I hope that fans also can reach these goals with me.”- FIN

RED RUM:

RED RUM, inspired heavily by Triptych’s seniors and lablemates, Vice, has a creepy and horror-like sound. Written by Teo, Jin, Sol, and Hyo with special help on producing from Vice’s Cyth. Features all 18 members.

“RED RUM is an interesting track. It’s a direction none of our subunits has explored, so it was fun to mess around with a darker sound. We got a lot of help from Cyth. He was really interesting to work with and really added a new twist. As far as the lyrics go, this song is about perception. Perception of people, situations, industries… Nothing is ever as it seems.”- SOL

“We know way too many people who have been screwed over in this industry. Including us, of course. No one’s safe from being used when you’re an idol. I guess this was sort of a reflection on all the things we have gone through to be where we are today. A lot of people look at an idols life and think it’s a dream. I beg to differ. Never trust a smile in a suit.”- YEN

“Unfortunately, by expressing how badly you want your dreams, you’re making yourself vulnerable to companies and agencies that want to sign you. Once they have your desperation, they can manipulate you. Everyone knows ‘red rum’ backwards is ‘murder’. We get asked for advice from fans who want to be idols pretty frequently. Even though to their face I tell them to never give up, I wish I had told them to read between the lines.”- HYO

VISION:

Boasting all 18 members, this track gives a much more hopeful and upbeat message than previous songs. Written by members Teo, Fin, Yen, Asa, and Zim, this song almost counters the previous track “RED RUM” by reminding listeners that things always get better.

“Life isn’t just filled with bad stuff. I think VISION is very relevant for this album, even though it is different from the first four tracks. At the end of dark tunnels, there is always light. I hope that VISION can guide our Artychs through their own dark tunnels.”- FIN

“I think we contradict ourselves a little bit with this track, but that’s human nature. All of the songs leading up to this one have been very serious and filled with some dark stuff. We needed a song that would pull everyone out of that emo funk, and I think this song delivers.”- ZIM

“VISION is that feel-good song that should just be played on a loop all summer long. I think it’s that song that you listen to on the way back from a rough day at work or an unpleasant outing and you’re like… Wow, Triptych is right. Life gets better.”- ASA

SELFISH:

Written and composed by members Yen, Asa, Jin, Teo, Nia, Sun, and Sol, SELFISH is a song about wanting a significant other all to yourself without other people being involved in your relationship. Boasting 18 members, this track holds special meaning to the members of Triptych who have come forward about their personal relationships.

“Relationships of mine have always been up for speculation. Ever since I debuted to now. I guess I wrote this song thinking about all the things I’d like to say to my significant others when we’re not in the spotlight.”- NIA

“Being as polite as possible, I think the typical fan sometimes forgets that we, idols, are humans too. And I’m not saying they’re bad people for forgetting so-- it’s our job for our fans to feel very close to us! We do have a very tight bond to our fanbase, which is something I’m forever thankful for, but I think SELFISH is a nice way to draw the line in the sand."- SUN

“Idols date all the time, it's just rarely ever show to the public. Having to share every aspect of your life to people can be exhausting. Sometimes we wish that our personal relationships were kept personal. There's actually nothing 'selfish' about that."- DAY

THE INVITATION:

For the seventh track, the supergroup takes a more sensual and slow take with their song THE INVITATION. Written by members Van, Sol, Teo, Ame, and Jin.

“The song is supposed to be a little intimate and slow. The ‘invitation’ is a peek into our minds and our personal lives, something that we give to fans on a daily basis. THE INVITATION talks about how open we are. Being an idol has really taught me how to let certain people in and how to keep others out. As a group, we put out very raw and real stuff. We just wanted to express how intimate that truly feels through song.”- KIT

“If it feels like we’re… Uh… getting it on…While listening to the song, that’s the goal. Everything we put out, we trust our fans to react to it and support it. They literally carry our careers in their hands. They know they’re powerful, just watch them on Twitter, but they also have all our trust, which I think is more powerful than trending a hashtag world wide.”- DAY

"We hope that what fans take away from this song is that we share a deeply intimate relationship, even though we may not know each other. Like the song itself, the concept of this relationship should be slightly unsettling. However, our relationship goes both ways. You share intimate things with us and we share intimate things with you." - VAN

WONDER OF IT ALL:

Even though the group itself has been in motion since 2015, the support and love they receive around the world still baffles them to this day. On the eighth track and the final OT18 song on the album, Triptych dedicates this song to all the Artychs that have supported them. Each member has given a hand in either producing, writing, or composing this track.

“This song is probably the most personal and sentimental song I have ever helped write. I’m not the best with my words or emotions, so trying to tell Artychs how I feel about their continuous support was really hard, especially when they never fail to leave me speechless. They have helped us do what we love to do as a living and they allow us to be ourselves while doing so. That’s something I will forever be grateful for.”- HYO

“I think it’s really beautiful just how strong music can be. A good chunk of our fans don’t even speak Korean, yet they learn all the words to our songs and practice the dance routines. Music and the love for music brings us together on a colossal, global scale. We may come from different backgrounds and walks of life, but I hope that when Artychs listen to this song, they feel like they are connected to us somehow.”- AME

“Out of all the songs I’ve written, I love writing about our fans the most. It’s like documenting a great love story. I’m not saying that our fans have romantic relations with us by any means, but the way we love each other - platonically and supportively - is so strong and so powerful. It’s a kind of love that I will never find anywhere else in the world, yet I feel it all around the world when I tour. It truly is wonderful.”- TEO

S.O.S:

Y3LLOW brings back a classic hip hop vibe with S.O.S, a track that tells the story of someone falling deeply in love with someone, but is unsure if the feeling is reciprocated. Written, composed, and produced by Y3LLOW subunit members Zim, Eli, Van, Ame, One, Sol.

“I think our discography needed a break from being so down and in the dumps. As a group I feel like love songs aren’t really our forte, but they’re equally as relevant and as relatable as our more serious songs. We shouldn’t have to just sing about the bad stuff to be recognized as a ‘good artist’. We should be allowed to sing about whatever we’re going through and that should be enough.”- ELI

“I feel like we’ve all been in this situation before where we like someone so much it feels like we’re drowning. I think when writing S.O.S I reflected on feelings that I’ve had in the past. Crushing on people hurts. That’s why it’s called ‘crushing’."- AME

“This song kinda hits a little hard, I’m gonna be honest. It’s relatable in the saddest way possible. Why is it that the people you love hurt you so much? And most of the time without even knowing it? What the hell? How is this a thing that humans feel?”- ONE

MIDNIGHT:

Subunit R3D enters the album with a slow EDM and pop style jam that has hints of romance. Written and composed by R3D subunit members Nia, Teo, Ura, Jin, Kit, and Sol.

“MIDNIGHT is supposed to give you those butterflies you feel when you’re young and in love. The song itself literally speaks of sneaking out your window at midnight to meet someone you love. If you want to look at it on a deeper level, I personally like to think of it as a love song between oneself and escaping your old self to meet a new version of you. If you don’t want to take deeper looks, don’t feel pressured to, though. Love songs just aren’t my thing.”- URA

"This track is very vocal-heavy, much like our other subunit track. I think R3Ds role in the group is to bring attention to our vocalists. It's nice to have songs with little to no rap in them from time to time."- JIN

“I mean, who doesn’t dream of sneaking off with someone in the middle of the night? I’ve yet to meet someone that makes me feel this way, but I wrote how I want to feel when I meet the right person. If they don’t make you feel how MIDNIGHT makes you feel, they’re not the one for you!”- KIT

EYES ON ME:

Returning with a hyped up tropical beat, subunit BLU3 makes a splash with their song “EYES ON ME”. Written, composed, and produced by BLU3 subunit members Yen, Asa, Cal, Hyo, Sun, and Fin.

“EYES ON ME is that summer bop that will just be blasting from your car radio all summer long. It’s just a fun song about just basically just showing up to the club with all your friends and being like ‘we run this biss’. I think it’s the ultimate turn up song.” - HYO

"Look, we saw your tweets, Artychs. We know it’s hot girl summer. So trust me when I say that this is the ultimate hot girl summer anthem. I hope listeners get an instant confidence boost when they hear this song. I personally think it’s a total banger.”- SUN

“I think BLU3 has some of the funniest and most lively members out of Triptych. I think our role in Triptych is to bring songs that give people those good vibes and I think we delivered. Our personalities really shine through in this song. This couldn’t have been a better fit with our subunit.”- YEN

OUTRO: SOMETHING:

To finish the album, another instrumental and ambient track is played. The sound may be confusing to fans at the first listen, as it seems to be playing samples of old Triptych songs in the background.

“OUTRO: SOMETHING isn’t supposed to be an easy listen. It’s supposed to kinda throw you off and make you think ‘What is this’? The point of the track is to have you anticipating what’s to come.”- SOL

“A third generation of Triptych has been rumored for a long time and I know Artychs are curious about the outro and if it has any relation to Gen 3. I can confirm that this outro is not about new members joining us. However, we have plans already to try out some new things musically. We hope that fans will receive these new changes well. Anticipate.”- NIA

“Artychs know to expect the unexpected with our group. We are always try out new things, testing new waters, stuff like that. I think OUTRO: SOMETHING reminds both Triptych and Artychs that there's always room for exploration." - ELI

#kumokocnet #koclovebot #omayakocnet #tokyokocnet #wooperkocnet #kpop au #fake kpop #fake kpop group #kpop oc #oc kpop group #original kpop group #oc!kpop #oc!idol #idol!oc #kpop!oc #kpop idol!oc #kpop idol!au #kpop!au

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caelesjjk · 6 years ago

Text

Push (Part 1)

Hiii lovelies! This is the first fic I’ve posted in a long time and I’m so so excited about it. This is also the first fic I’ve posted where I’m writing in first person. My character has a name and everything so I’m nervous and I hope you’ll like her! Give me all the feedback please!!

The last thing I wanted to do after a long day of teaching Kindergartners their alphabet was to go shopping for a gift for my little brothers birthday. But he was my only brother and certainly deserved something special. So I sucked it up and headed downtown to find a worthy gift.

A comic book store was not a place I would normally find myself. It wasn’t that I didn’t find them fascinating in a way, but it just wasn’t my type of reading. I loved old literature. The type that took me back in time and painted the perfect picture as I read the words.

It felt like I had been here for hours, aimlessly wondering around the aisles looking for anything that looked vaguely familiar. Finally becoming frustrated, I dropped the pile of comics in my hands back into the bin with a soft thud and a loud sigh.

“Not finding what you wanted?” A voice on the other side of the aisle says.

“I have no idea what I’m looking for.” I sighed again.

“Maybe I can help?” He asks, he comes over to stand next to me and I finally decide to look up and see who was offering their help.

“Yeah…I mean, do you work here?” I bit my lip. He’s so cute. His blonde fluffy hair that fell into his face in the most emo way possible was something I didn’t think I could find attractive. Bright pink lips, tall and dressed in all black.

“No. But I’m a regular. Who’s the comic for?” He laughs a little as he smiles down at me. I knew I was staring but I couldn’t help myself. He was hard to look away from.

“My bro..brother. My brother.” I finally break away my gaze long enough to clear my throat and bring myself back to earth.

“What’s he in to?” He smiles again. God he’s so cute.

“He’s sort of just starting out. I was looking for something good to get him going.” I angle my body more towards him.

“In that case, I can definitely help. I’m Michael, by the way.” He put his hand out for me to shake.

“Isabella. But just call me Izzy.” I answer, taking the time to observe all the leather bracelets around his wrist and the silver rings on his fingers.

“Come with me.” He says softly, motioning with his head for me to follow him.

I follow him to another section of the store where he starts to explain all the different kinds of comics. It doesn’t seem like there is anything he doesn’t know when it comes to this. I try to follow along the best that I can, smiling and looking at the different comics he shows me. It’s intoxicating to listen to him talk about something he obviously loves so much.

He talks about each character like he’s known them for ages. He knows every detail about their worlds. And though this isn’t the type of reading I would do, I have a whole new respect for it after listening to him talk about it so passionately.

Michael helps me find what I assume will be a great choice for my little brother. As I’m paying for the comic, he shoves his hands into the pockets of his pants and looks down nervously at his feet.

“Is everything okay?” I ask him.

“Yeah…it’s just…I’ve had a really great time talking with you…and wondered if maybe you’d get a coffee with me sometime?” He laughs nervously but finally looks up to meet my eyes.

“I’d really like that.” I feel my cheeks heat up as the smile on his face widens once again.The two of us exchange numbers before I leave the comic book shop in a giddy daze.

Michael was sweet and kind. He always called to ask me about my day. He brought me chocolate and Chinese take out when I was fighting with my mom. She hated my choice to become a teacher, and wanted me to be a lawyer like her. Any time she called it was only to remind me that I wasn’t living up to her expectations. And Michael would simply tell me that I made the right choice because I loved getting up every morning. He made me laugh when I was frustrated and gave the best advice. He was almost…too nice. And it wasn’t a bad thing necessarily, but I wanted him to challenge me. I wanted him to start a fire inside me that couldn’t be put out. And I kept telling myself that maybe he would eventually. Maybe if I gave him time, our relationship would grow to that point. It had only been two months, and Michael deserved for me to give him a chance.

Tonight was going to be the first time I went to his apartment to hang out. He said that his roommate would be there, but that he wouldn’t bother the two of us. I was very nervous, yet extremely hopeful that maybe some kind of spark would finally fly between the two of us. All of our previous dates were so thoughtful and well planned. Part of me wanted to be satisfied with that but most of me just wanted to go do something spontaneous and romantic.

The house I pulled up to was small, but much more inviting than I thought it would be. I couldn’t imagine Michael living here, but I was certain I had typed the address into your GPS correctly. After a few moments of internal debating and attempting to tame some of the flyaways escaping my brown mop of hair, I got out of the car and walked up to the door. I took one more deep breath before ringing the doorbell.

After almost a minute, I was about to reach out to knock on the door, but it’s suddenly swinging open, making me jump back and almost slipping off the step behind me.

“Yeah?” The man that answered the door is tall with a head full of messy black curls. One of his eyebrows is raised as he stares at you expectantly.

“I um…I’m here for Michael?” I trip over my words. I also had to try to stop my eyes from roaming this strangers body, but its in vain. The golden skin of his arm his covered in the black ink of a several tattoos and all he’s wearing is a loose pair of dark green sweat pants.

“I’m up here, Bambi.” He smirks and wets his thick lips with his tongue.

“My name isn’t Bambi…” I start to explain.

“You practically tripped over your own feet on that step. Bambi fits.” He shrugs his shoulders and continues to smirk at me. I wish that I hated it.

“It’s Izzy, actually. Does Michael live here?” I fold my arms over my chest.

“Yeah.” He leans his tall body against the door frame.

“Well could you get him? Or let me in?” I ask.

He doesn’t answer, just slightly moves to the side so that I’m able to walk in the door. I sigh loudly, rolling my eyes before turning to the side and stepping in the door.

“Nice to meet you, Bambi.” He says the words deeply in your ear as you slip past him, his hot breath giving me goosebumps when it fans my skin. I glare at him for continuing to use the ridiculous nickname. Just as I’m about to say something else to him, Michael comes walking into the living room from one of the bedrooms down the hallway.

“Izzy! I didn’t know you were here, you should have called when you pulled up!” Michael walks over to me and quickly wraps his arms around my confused body.

“No big deal.” I say, smiling when he leans down to peck my lips. It was soft and sweet, just the way it always was.

“Did you meet my roommate?” He asks, tucking some hair behind my ears. I look up so that I can see his pretty green eyes looking back into bluish gray ones.

“Yeah…sort of.” I’m not sure I want to meet him officially.

“Oh well, that’s Calum. Cal, this is my girlfriend, Izzy.” Michael pats Calum’s shoulder a couple of times when he introduces him. Calum doesn’t look up from the book he was reading on the couch.

“Nice to meet you too…” I say, but Michael just takes my hand and starts leading me down the hallway.

“Calum is kind of dick.” Michael laughs a little as he opens his door and lets me go inside first.

“Why are you friends with him then?” I ask.

“We’ve been friends since we were kids. We’ve just been through some shit together. And once you get to know him I know you’ll like him.” Michael quickly kisses my cheek. I can tell he was trying to change the subject before he said anything else.

“What’s on the agenda tonight?” I ask, taking off my coat.

“I ordered a pizza, and I thought we could just hang out? Is that okay?” Michael shoves some laundry off of his bed onto the floor and I can help but smile at how cute he is.

“Sure, that sounds great.” I walk over to him and he sweeps me into another hug.

“I missed you the past few days, babe.” He buries his face in my neck and holds me tightly.

“Missed you too, Mikey.” I run my fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck and close my eyes for a moment. I want him to kiss me. I want him to kiss me like he fucking means it. He just needs to kiss me so I know he’s at least somewhat thinking the same thing I am.

“Are you getting hungry?” He says into my neck.

“Not particularly…” I try to nuzzle his face so that he will look at me, and just as he does, the doorbell rings and he’s pulling away from me.

“Pizza’s here! I’ll be right back.” He pecks my forehead and heads out of his bedroom door.

For the next few hours Michael and I enjoy the pizza he ordered as well as some great conversations. He’s sitting with his legs crossed and his back against the wall. I’ve been trying to think of a way to initiate something. Thinking that maybe if I crawl into his lap and start kissing him, he will stop talking and just start that fire that I’m craving.

“Mikey…” I start to say, and he stops talking for a moment and cocks his head to the side in question.

“Yeah, love?” He asks with a smile.

I don’t say anything else. I just hold his eyes and slowly crawl across his bed. I bite my lip when I’m finally in position to straddle his lap. He doesn’t stop me, just watches as I continue to move up his body. I place my thighs on either side of his and settle my ass on his lower stomach. I run my hands up his bare arms onto his shoulders before I meet his eyes again. He doesn’t seem to mind what I’m doing, so I lean in and lightly press my lips to his.

Michael kisses back gently, his hands finally coming up to settle on my hips. I trace my fingertips up his chest and cup them on his stubbly neck. It felt good to kiss him this way, but I wanted more. I lightly ran my tongue along his bottom lip, hoping he opened his mouth and allowed it to dance with his. And to my delight, he does. It starts out slow and eventually becomes a bit more heated and I can’t help but start to rock my hips a bit. I can feel his grip on my hips begin to get tighter, almost like he’s trying to stop me from moving.

“Izzy…babe, maybe we should slow down.” Michael says against my mouth.

“Oh…yeah. We can, sure.” I could feel a bit of embarrassment rise to the surface of my cheeks as I lift my leg over his and move over to the other side of the bed.

“It’s not that I didn’t like it. I just want things to go right with you, ya know?” Michael takes in my expression and scoots closer to me.

“Of course.” I quickly kiss his cheek and let him wrap his arm around me while he turns on the TV on the far wall.

It was difficult to decide whether or not Michael wanting to go so slowly was a good or bad thing. We hadn’t talked about our past relationships much and maybe that was something I needed to bring up to better understand his reasoning.

I didn’t have a lot of relationships to base things off of. Some were good. A lot were bad. Nothing fit. No one made me feel like just being me was good enough. I didn’t feel connected to them. But there was always sex, and that may have been the only factor that kept most of those relationships going for as long as they did.

So maybe the problem was me. Maybe I moved things too quickly. Expected too much. Maybe I wasn’t looking for the right things. Or maybe I was just looking for good things in the wrong people.

“Do you want to stay here tonight?” Mikey asks.

“Are you sure that you want me to?”

“Of course. I’ll get you something to sleep in, okay?” He presses a kiss to my temple and slides off the bed. He fumbles through the clean clothes in his drawers before handing me a Metallica t-shirt.

“Thanks.” I take the shirt from him and stand up to start getting undressed.

“The bathrooms across the hall babe.” Mikey says, flipping back down in the bed. I can’t help but roll my eyes as I button up my jeans and walk out into the hallway and across to the bathroom.

I had dated enough guys in the past to know what I did and did not want. But for some reason, even with all of his little quirks that drove me crazy, I wanted to make it work with Michael. He was everything I needed, we just weren’t on the same page sexually. I could deal with that, right? I could wait until he was ready for that type of thing. I wasn’t some sex crazed teenager anymore. And maybe waiting would just make it that much better when it actually happened.

I slipped out of my jeans and sweater, folding them up and sitting them on the counter. Looking myself over in the mirror a few times, wishing I could erase the freckles sprinkled across my cheeks and nose. I decided to go to the kitchen and grab something to drink before heading back to Michael’s room.

The dim light of a lamp was still on the in the living room, the soft murmur of the TV was going as well as I walked in. Calum was asleep on the couch, a book open on his chest. He was kind of beautiful like this, not talking or calling me Bambi. He had long eyelashes that cast shadows on his cheeks and he most certainly didn’t deserve to have such perfect lashes.

Because curiosity is somewhat of a weakness for me, I walked further into the room to get a better look at the book he was reading. The Picture of Dorian Gray laid there across his chest. It definitely wasn’t what I expected to see there in the slightest. It was such a tragic novel, but I had read it plenty of times. I reached out and touched the cover of the book, completely forgetting that there was very rude man sleeping beneath it.

“Watching me sleep, Bambi?” Calum says with an unamused yawn. I practically jumped three feet back when he spoke.

“No. Definitely not. I just wanted to see what you were reading.” I tug at the hem of Michael’s t-shirt trying to pull it down when Calum opens his eyes and smirks at my appearance.

“Got Clifford to sleep with you already? That’s a record.” He says, standing up and stretching out his long body.

“What? No. I’m just borrowing a shirt to sleep in. Not that it’s any of your business anyways.” I roll my eyes and cross my arms over my chest. Calum steps up closely before he talks again.

“Trust me, Bambi, if you keep prancing around my house in those lacy little things, it’ll most definitely be my business.” He bites his thick bottom lip and eyes my underwear that are apparently far too visible.

“You’re a pig.” I glare at him, pulling the shirt down over my ass and quickly walking back towards Michael’s room.

“Night, Isabella.” Calum teases with a quiet laugh. I don’t acknowledge him, I just keep walking until I’m in Michael’s room again.

I’m not sure what I was expecting when I came back into the room. Maybe that Michael would have had time to think about what he really wanted. But to my disappointment, he was sleeping. Both arms propped behind his head as quiet snores left his bright pink lips. I sighed, kneeing up onto the bed and laying my head on his chest. He hummed contently when he felt me against him.

“Night Mikey.” I whispered the words, knowing he wouldn’t hear them anyways.

My dreams that night weren’t filled with a soft, blonde haired boy, but instead they were filled with hot steamy visions of his cocky and maddening roommate.

#5 seconds of summer #5sos #ashton irwin #calum hood #luke hemmings #michael clifford #5sos imagines #5sos fic #omg im so excited #super hot broody cal coming your way #please send me feedback #it means so much #reblog this bitch too #calum hood fic

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fineline-live · 6 years ago

Text

What’s Wrong? • cth smut

Title: What’s Wrong?

Reader Pairing: Y/N and Calum

Rating: i would say dirty but it takes place in a shower hehe

Description: Calum has never let his insecurities get in the way of anything. But when he starts to think of the impossible, he leans on his best friend for support.

2000’s emo hits rang throughout the house, Luke, Michael, Crystal, and I dancing around the kitchen air-guitaing while Ashton just sat and laughed, drumming on the counter top. No one has heard from Calum today, assuming he wanted space for whatever he was doing, probably song writing somewhere. The lead chords to Ocean Avenue started to play, Michael and I screaming together like little girls. We immediately started singing along, as I grabbed a spatula for Luke and I to belt the song out, we heard a loud slam. We looked towards the front the door, the open layout of the house giving us the luxury. Calum stormed in, not saying a word to any of us, and walked past the kitchen to the stairs, running probably up to his room. Michael had grabbed my phone, turning the volume down slightly so we could talk. “What’s that about? He asked to anybody that could possibly have an answer. “Beats me. I know just as much as the next guy,” Ashton chimed in, slapping his hands on the counter. “Maybe you should talk to him, Y/N? You’re his best friend, after all?” Crystal piped up, confused by the situation as well.

I furrowed my brow, still staring at the staircase in case he came back down. “I was planning on taking a shower from working up the sweat, just now. But I’m sure I can get him to open up before hand.” I shrugged along with my answer, wondering what had gotten under Calum’s skin so bad. Everyone nodded, Michael handing me back my phone. “I’m gonna stay down here and rock out,” Luke laughed, everyone once again nodding along with him. He pulled out his own phone, connecting it to the bluetooth speaker. I tucked my phone in my pocket as they all debated on what to listen to, walking up the carpeted stairs. Once I rounded the top corner I walked to the all too familiar bedroom where I stayed all the time. The door was shut so I knocked quietly, not wanting to just rudely barge in. “What.” A raspy voice cried out quietly, more of a statement than a question. “Can I come in, Cal?” I heard a shuffle from behind the door, an unlocking sound being made. He opened up the door, looking completely tired and rough. I pushed past him softly, pushing his body softly against the door to close it. I crossed my arms against my chest.

“What’s wrong?” My voice was gentle, afraid to overstep. “It’s nothing” He mumbled, walking back to the bed. He laid down, his hands folded against his stomach and his eyes closed. “Open up or you and I both know you’ll snap eventually.” His eyes shot open, guilt rushing through them from the memory I was implying. He once bottled everything up for so long that he literally broke, raging and breaking everything in his sight. He didn’t see me and ended up throwing a glass cup in my direction, shattering against the wall by my head. He wouldn’t stop apologizing for weeks after that, even though I told him that I knew he didn’t mean too. He sat up, rubbing his eyes with his hands. “I just don’t wanna talk about it. I can’t talk about it. I don’t know how.” I nodded sympathetically, walking over to him on the bed. I sat down and wrapped my arms around him. Calum gets stuck with his words when trying to express his emotions or a deep thought running through them. He won’t be able to think of a description until he finally gets it and it all flows out in a beautiful mess.

“I’m gonna go take a shower. You know where I’ll be if you need to talk.” He nodded his head, smiling softly. Calum and I will just sit in the bathroom and talk when one of us is in the shower or getting ready. Sometimes I’ll be drying my body off from a shower and he’ll come in to take a piss and ask about my day. It’s become routine almost. I ruffled his hair lightly as I stood up, walking to the side of his room to the joined bathroom. I closed the door, reaching into the shower and turning the dial on, pulling my arm back out and getting undressed. My clothes were tucked to the side of the counter, and I pulled he curtain back to walk in. The water was warm, pulsing on my skin, steam floating through the air. I heard the door open, a sigh leaving Calum’s mouth as the toilet seat cover creaked due to his weight sitting on it. “Ready to talk?” I asked, though not even five minutes ago he said no.

“Yeah,” He mumbled, his voice cracking. I listened intently, something sounding like a sniffle being heard from his general area. “What’s wrong, Cal?” I asked gently, hugging my own body in the water, planning on just paying attention to him instead of getting clean just yet. “I was on twitter today,” He started. I already knew something bad happened. Twitter is the place for shit like that. “And I was just reading through things people have tagged me in. A-and, I, f-fuck,” He stuttered, I could hear his voice slipping away, his throat closing from the tears ready to spill. “I don’t know. I read some shit that people were saying about me.” I took a deep breath contemplating my next question. “And what were they saying, bub?” He blubbered quietly, my body shifting to stay warm in the water, wishing I could just hold him instead. “Just shit like how I put on a lot of weight, and how I’m not good enough. How I’m slipping through the cracks and becoming and alcoholic. How they all wish 2014 Calum was back, skinny and in shape, a hell of a lot more attractive than I am now.” I felt my heart shatter at his words. I wasn’t sure what to say, but before I could even mutter anything, he kept rambling on.

“And it doesn’t help because I’ve been feeling like shit already lately. I have this thing clouding my head but I can’t figure out what it is. I’m fucking worthless, Y/N! I don’t even know my own head. Like, I know what it is but I can’t put it into words. I’m thinking about 70 fucking things at once and they’re all the same, but there’s just no words for it.” I took a deep breath, thinking of every solution I could possibly have. One stood out the most to me, scaring me at the possibilities to come from it. I thought of every hug, every touch, every flirty remark Calum and I have made towards each other. He was my best friend, and I was ready to fuck it up.

“Cal, can you come here please.” I heard the toilet seat creek. “Yeah,” His voice was shaky, calming down from his blow up. Once I heard his footsteps reach closer, I took a deep breath. “What do you need?” He asked quietly, wiping his eyes. I pulled the curtain back a little, my body being fully exposed, but eye contact the only thing being made. He smiled at me, confusion warping his eyes. I tugged at the hem of his shirt gently. “Take this off,” I whispered softly, my voice barely audible. He complied, reaching his hands down to the material, lifting it over his head. I placed my warm hand on his cool skin, tracing the outline of his tattoos on his collarbone, the other hand tenderly placing its self in the crook of his jaw and neck. Tiny water droplets slipped from my hands, his body not reacting to the water. I looked up into his eyes, my eyelashes fluttering. His skin was so soft and golden. I’ve seen him shirtless before but it just felt new to me. “Cal, you’re literally perfect.” His eyes crinkled along with the blush taking over his cheeks, not really sure what to think about the current situation, although he wasn’t complaining. I dropped my hands, both of them tugging against his belt. “Might as well take these off too,” I mumbled, water droplets soothing the heat on my cheeks.

He looked at me confused, once again complying and taking them off. “Hurry up and get it. It’s cold with the curtain open,” I smiled. He hurriedly ripped his boxers down his legs, throwing them with his other pile of clothes. I was faced towards the shower head, the steamy water running against my skin once again. I heard steps and the metal clunking of curtain closing. I turned around to face the Maori boy, his golden skin glistening from the steam. Without thinking twice I wrapped my hands around his neck and brought his face down, kissing his lips slowly. I had pulled him under the water as well, our bodies soaked without a care. He pulled away for a breath, his chest heaving. His hands had found a place to settle on my hips, his thumb drawing small circles. Our noses were still close, our eyes closed taking in the feel of being in such new territory with each other. “You’re perfect,” I repeated. “You’re so fucking perfect, and it blows my mind that you don’t see that.”

He smirked but his eyes soft, leaning his head down once more to connect our lips. I wrapped my arms tighter around his neck, not wanting to let go, before he stood up with his hands wrapped tightly around my thighs, holding me flush against his body. He turned slowly, afraid to slip because of the water and set my back against the shower wall giving him more control to move. I never would’ve thought that I’d be in this situation with Calum, but there wasn’t an ounce in my body that wanted us to stop. He pulled away, taking a deep breath his eyes scanning my collarbones but not daring to go and farther. “You can look, Cal,” I giggled, his eyes crinkling with a smile. He looked down at the predicament between us, my breasts sitting up right, his cock rock solid against my thigh. His jaw slacked a little, obviously getting more turned on just by the sight.

“I, wow,” He muttered, a blush covering his cheeks. “Calum?” He looked up at me, his brown eyes having a dark frosty glaze covering them. “Yeah?” He whispered. “Fuck me.”

A smirk spread across his face, his lips capturing my own in a quick and rushed kiss. His body pushed against mine harder, our hips grinding together. His hand slipped between us, angling his cock towards my entrance, my panting gaining speed as I realized what was about to happen. “Are you sure you want this?” He muttered into my neck, a soft kiss being placed on the sensitive skin. “Calum fucking Hood, I want you to fuck me.” And apparently that’s all he needed. One hand held my thigh as the other pushed against the wall for support, his hips snapping quickly. I let out a small yelp, not expecting him to be so thick. “Shit, shit, did I hurt you?” His voice scared for a reaction.

“No, no, no. You’re fine. Keep going please.” He smiled, placing a chaste kiss to my lips, continuing his work of thrusting his hips. “Fuck, baby, you feel so fucking good.” He couldn’t contain the overwhelming feeling of pressure around his cock, small grunts and loud moans filling the room between the two of us. One hand of mine grasped on to the hair on the nape of his neck, curling my fingers in it and tugging. He let out low growl, an even louder one emitting after I raked my other nails down his back. “You like that?” I whispered into his ear, his body shuddering from pleasure shooting down his spine. He nodded his head, a small “mhm” escaping his lips. He thrusted roughly, my hip stretching out from the thick boy standing between my legs. “Oh, fuck. Baby, right there.” He hit a spot inside me I didnt knew existed, the most beautiful feeling coursing through my veins.

“God, you’re so perfect. Perfect face, perfect body, perfect fucking cock fucking me so well, yeah? You have such a nice cock, Cal.” His eyes rolled back from the dirty words, focusing on trying to get me to cum before him. I began to bounce my back against the wall while thrusting into me. The sensation of the cold tiles on my back, to the warm water dripping between us, to the bouncing of my body against his thick cock was enough to hang me over the edge. “You really do love my cock, don’t you, princess? You like when I fuck you like this?” My breath came fast, my chest heaving as I clawed against his back to stay up. Before I knew it my head was tilting back against the tiles, his lips sucking small bruises into my neck. My walls fluttered against his throbbing cock, his body milking my own orgasm to reach his. Finally his hips stuttered, his head falling into the crook of my neck. His breathing was sporadic, his body shaking as he came down from his high, pressing harder into mine.

He softly dropped my thighs, my feet wobbling but standing on the ground. His hands rested against my hips, mine locked on his sharp jawline. I pulled him down to kiss me. It was soft, passionate, longing. We pulled away for air, our foreheads resting together. His eyes quickly shot open, his mouth agape. He had the biggest smile, dimples lining his cheeks. He looked so overly excited. “What?” I giggled. He took a quick excited breath, smiling back at me. He leant in quickly, kissing my lips again, whispering when he pulled away. “I love you.” I felt my heart start to race and my mind fog. “What?” I asked softly, afraid I heard him wrong. “I love you, Y/N. That’s what I couldn’t figure out. Those are the words I needed.” I made the coherent sentence in my head, smiling wildly, mirroring the boy in front of me. “I love you too.” He giggled excitedly, leaning down to kiss me once more, any form of sadness from earlier long gone.

“So what does that mean?” I asked quietly, not knowing what was to come. “Well, if you’d let me, I’d love to take you on a real date and not just fuck you in my shower. I’d love to be your boyfriend.” He chuckled, the last part quieting him. “I’d love that too.” We giggled together, our foreheads connected in the water, as we stared into the mesmerizing colors of each other’s eyes. Calum’s face showed a range of emotions from sadness, to lust, to happiness, to now panic. He pulled away quickly. “What?” I asked confused. “Y/N, we didn’t use a condom, and I like, uh, ya know, came in you.” I started laughing, this being the one thing he worried about. “Cal,” I giggled. He looked at me in shock that I could be laughing when I could potentially get pregnant. I stepped out of the water towards the side of the tub pulling him with me. I pulled back the curtain, pointing at a little blue case next to Calum and I’s toothbrushes. “Birth control, babe. Birth control.” An excited expression soon filled his face before kissing me again.

“Oh, fuck yeah!”

#this was actually so cute to imagine #i want calum shower sex :(#calum hood #5sos #ch #calum #5 seconds of summer #best friend 5sos #smut #calum smut #imagine #luke hemmings #ashton irwin #michael clifford #sad calum #fluff smut #calum x reader #au #shower sex !!

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vicescfvirtues-blog · 6 years ago

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♡ ♡ ♡ hello !! my name is cal ( 19, she/her, pst ) and i am so so so excited to be here. i’ve never played multiple characters at once so this will be an adjustment for me but i just had so much muse for these three. there’s emo hippie dakota sinclair, emo binch marilyn reid, and emo twerp quentin munro. i’m so eager to plot so feel free to hit me up any time ! a brief description of each of my bbs is beneath the cut. ( warning : it’s a MESS but pls love me anyway ) tw — substance abuse, death

DAKOTA

☆— { timothee chalamet, 22, cismale } hey there, dakota sinclair, i’ve had my eye on you. i see you making your way down the streets of golden acres and everyone there thinks that you’re gregarious & sanguine, but i know that you’re really idealistic & stoic. you remind me of ripped skinny jeans, a dripping wet paintbrush, fingertips dancing across steel strings. and even though you’re just a university student, i know the truth about you. i know that you’re only engaged to a female to hide the fact that you’re gay. but don’t worry, it’ll be our little secret if you play by my rules

dakota was one of katherine’s brothers! there was a 5 year age difference between them so they weren’t sUUper close but they weren’t hostile towards each other. she was 13 when he left the house, prior to that he’d always let her use his guitar (hey, they could afford new ones if she broke it) or try to teach her how to play. he’s not a very argumentative person so he didn’t often fight with his siblings, he was very obedient and calm with his parents. now dakota is very ignorant, he was born with a silver spoon and has no idea how life is for the other side. he’s not judgmental but he’s in his own bubble, focusing on his aesthetics and whatnot. he’s, of course, extremely shaken ad saddened by katherine’s death. it feels unreal, as he’s never really had anything such as traumatic happen to him ( aside from the whole pushing his sexuality deeeeep down ). here is his profile.

MARILYN

☆— { alexandra daddario, 32, cisfemale } hey there, marilyn reid, i’ve had my eye on you. i see you making your way down the streets of maple lane and everyone there thinks that you’re conscientious & sagacious, but i know that you’re really phlegmatic & cynical. you remind me of a pen rapidly tapping against a table, the smell of money, and the sound of knuckles cracking. and even though you’re just a detective, i know the truth about you. i know that you’re losing your ability to investigate properly on account of your substance abuse. but don’t worry, it’ll be our little secret if you play by my rules

E D I T : marilyn moved from Colorado to rosehollow when she was seven due to a job opportunity for her father. being the new kid, gangly and always with her nose in a book, she was an easy target for bullies. her parents were affectionate, but they were clear that she would not be spoiled because she was an only child; she would be a hard-worker. although it wasn’t their intention, this, along with the lack of friends, led to a very lonely childhood for marilyn. she had dreams of leaving rosehollow and finally finding happiness. she’d had crushes on both genders throughout her life, but she never questioned herself ( her family wasn’t particularly religious or bigoted ). arguably her most intense crush was on one of the it-girls, shanley. though they were practically from two different worlds, she was smitten with her and not exactly very subtle about it. there was an automatic chemistry when they’d been placed as chemistry partners. once shanley actually revealed the feeling was mutual, marilyn was on cloud 9. but as time passed, marilyn’s jealousy increased and she could no longer tolerate their unique situation. they didn’t end in the best place, and after graduation, marilyn left rosehollow for university, finally achieving her dream. she filtered in and out of her hometown to check on her parents as they got older, they loved all the little suburban town had to offer. she works mainly in augusta but was placed on the case due to her many years in the town. her use of cocaine and adderall is recreational ( but still enough to ruin her career and reputation ). her first usage of the substances was at 29 during a party outing when she was in a polyamorous relationship. though she’s since left them, she still uses the drugs when she needs energy. here is her profile

QUENTIN

☆— { miles heizer, 20, cismale } hey there, quentin munro, i’ve had my eye on you. i see you making your way down the streets of willow creek and everyone there thinks that you’re stoic & vehement, but i know that you’re really impetuous & recalcitrant. you remind me of dirty sneakers, exhaling smoke through chapped lips, and a pie in the face as a prank. and even though you’re just a busboy at the rosebud diner, i know the truth about you. i know that you’re planning to rob a golden acres home. but don’t worry, it’ll be our little secret if you play by my rules

quentin is the second oldest of five children. they don’t all share the same father (quentin himself is the result of an affair), but that doesn’t matter to them. quentin is the one who takes care of his younger siblings because his mother is physically ill ( and addicted to painkillers, but we won’t talk about that . . . ) and his older brother ditched them to be “successful”. quentin works extremely hard and often, having gotten his first job at 14 to be able to help feed his family, but it never feels like it’s enough. he’s been stealing from businesses since he was a teenager, food and basic necessities they can’t afford. as they all grow, so do their wants and needs, so he’s considering escalating from petty shoplifting. though he doesn’t care what the people of rosehollow think of him ( he believes those from golden acres are all snobs anyway ), he knows his siblings depend on him and he can’t risk losing them by going to prison. fortunately, his life isn’t totally engulfed by stress. he finds solace in his group of friends, even if he isn’t the best at expressing love. of course he knows about the murder, but he’s too involved in his own shit to really care about it. here is his profile.

#slashhq:intro #my excitement is palpable

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hadanelith · 7 years ago

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Just got back from finally seeing TLJ... I don't think I've been this disappointed in a Star Wars movie since Phantom Menace. This movie was *awful*, both as a Star Wars movie and just as a film.

Massive, total spoilers below the cut.

The opening sequence was bad. While the whole phone call thing was a decently funny bit, it went on about 2 exchanges too long. The space battle that followed was insultingly stupid, between the idea that this Dreadnaught has no effective anti-starfighter defenses and the ludicrous design of the bombers with *gravity bombs*. This sequence was effectively a straight up WWII bombing run, and it just didn't make any sense. Rey's badgering of Luke went on too long, and while it kind of aped the kung fu movie 'seek out the master, he refuses to train you but he's actually testing you/teaching you the whole time he's refusing' thing, it didn't pan out in the end at all, so it felt completely wasted. The rebel fleet escaping to deep space was fine. The FO tracking them was fine. The idea that they would just follow along, shooting at them ineffectively for hours and hours, is just insane. I was specifically irritated that they remembered that ships have shields NOW, but they totally didn't during the opening battle or the starfighter fight that started the chase. Are they going with the idea that starfighters ignore shields for some bullshit reason? If so, why would they not send in a massive starfighter wave to end the battle? The FO had 6+ Star Destroyers plus the Super Star Destroyer - they should have had at least three or four hundred TIEs, and since TIEs blew out the bridge and space Leia, they must be capable of otherwise hurting the ships. This whole ticking clock siege setup was dumb, and the follow on effects were bad too. Spacing Leia felt like 'oh, so that's how they're gonna fix it', and then they didn't. Instead they have her explicitly use the Force, which, okay, fine, but what the hell? I guess they just wanted her out of the way for a while, and couldn't think of a better way? Finn trying to cut and run? Fine. Rose catching him? Fine. Them turning around and hatching a plan to save the fleet? No. The dialogue was bizarre during this bit, and the instant turn-around from anger to camaraderie felt very forced. Poe going with it? Eh, it fits. The casino planet was one sequence that went on exactly as long as was reasonable, without drastically overstaying its welcome. It was a bit on the ham handed side, mind you, but it didn't drag on, the action half was fun, and no part of it felt too out of left field. Getting back to the fleet, Poe's little mutiny could have been completely prevented just by telling everyone the plan. Not doing so was ludicrous. Then there's the Holdo maneuver. Why the HELL did she wait that long? If the whole plan was a noble sacrifice, why wait until half the damn shuttles got blown up to get started? Just do it straight off! It also opens a brand new can of worms. Someone finally realized that a sufficiently fast drive system is also a powerful weapon. Great. Now ramming things at FTL is a thing that you can reasonably do in Star Wars. That's...a solution that no one EVER considered for the Death Stars? Especially since according to TFA, hyperdrive bypasses shields? The Rebels could have just rammed a Mon Cal cruiser straight into Death Star II, ignored the planetary shield, and won with only materiel losses and no personnel! This is a TERRIBLE precedent to set! Finn, Rose, and the slicer on the SSD: eh? BB-8 as a trash can was cute, the evil BB-8 was just merchandising, the shot of the iron descending was actually a fun shot, cinematigraphically. Getting caught, the slicer selling them out, and almost getting executed? Eh. Finn and Phasma fighting? WHY? Why bring back Phasma after they threw her in a trash compactor, just to kill her off anyway in a fight that means nothing and goes nowhere? Not-Hoth: I really liked the visuals. I liked the salt-foxes (but that's mostly just me being a sucker for foxes). But setting up for Battle of Hoth version 2 was really goofy. Why was the big gun ('based on Death Star tech', doesn't look at all like Death Star anything...)TOWED? Why did they tow it with mono-purpose walkers (that were based on Strandbeests, which is cool, but pointless)? Why the FUCK did Rose stop Finn from making HIS heroic sacrifice? I'm sorry, her reasoning is bullshit, and then they didn't even have her die!

Rewinding to Rey: Luke is *completely* out of character. His refusing is bullshit, his lessons are bullshit, his reasoning is bullshit, and the whole thing is character assassination of the highest order. Rey, meanwhile, is stuck with a whiny emo in her head, the poor girl. Those conversations drag on for way too long, and continue to include Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron, so I'm not a fan. The library tree was some hilarious bullshit - up until this point, only Han has called the Jedi a 'religion', so having Luke suddenly talking about the 'holy texts' was way weird. Ditto the idea that they've been on this tiny island on some planet no one's heard of, and not, say, in the JEDI TEMPLE. The FUCK? The whole 'infinity mirror' well of the Dark Side thing was just weird. I liked the effect, I liked the whole bit with Rey trying to figure out what the deal was...but there was NO PAYOFF. I thought they were going to go with some kinda 'many possible futures' thing or something, but for it all to come to exactly NOTHING was really weird. The back and forth about the day Ben Solo became Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron felt like more character assassination of Luke. Also irritating - they keep mentioning other students, but they never bother to show them at all. Then Rey steals the books, and leaves. Joy. Luke's whole conversation with Ghost!Yoda was bizarre. I appreciate that they dug out the old puppet, but why? Yoda was inscrutable, Luke was inscrutable, a Force Ghost had physical effect on the world, which was new and unnecessary, and the whole thing felt way out of place. Rey ends up on the SSD with Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron, and they go talk to Mutant McGrossFace, who is a condescending dickhead, but not as good a condescending dickhead as Palps, so...meh. Special shoutout to Rey summoning the lightsaber and Mutant McGrossFace clobbering her in the head with it. The way Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron kills him was pretty sweet; the big fight sequence was kinda sweet, if gratuitous; the whole 'battle of wills staring contest while doing aggressive jazz hands at each other' thing went on for FOREVER. sigh. Rey...escapes. Off screen. Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron becomes new 'Supreme Leader'. I notice that even his subordinates don't really believe in him very much. Oh, additional shoutout to the last kill in the fight with the red guard guys - that was something people have been thinking was a good idea for a long time, so it was fun to see.

Rewinding again: Chewbacca is in this movie. His little scene with the Porgs was...two shots too long, and completely pointless. And that is basically the sum total of his involvement in this movie.

Right, big finale! Luke shows up on not-Hoth, taunts Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron into fighting him, doesn't actually fight, turns out he isn't really there. This is a major Force Illusion, and it's actually kind of neat, even if it kills him in the end. Rey and Chewie draw off the TIEs in the Falcon in a fun little flight sequence through some salt crystal caves, which is fine. Porgs show up here as comic relief, which is...acceptable, I guess? They don't get in the way, which is nice. The Resistance escapes with the help of the salt foxes, Rey does some pretty significant TK, and they all escape. Luke dies, Rose is comatose, and we end by flying away in the Falcon. Feels like the end of TFA, and not in a great way. The last shot was purely setup, and it felt like some Marvel-style foreshadowing stuff. I do not approve.

Acting:

Decent acting by most people that got to do stuff. Massively hamstrung by the script. I find it telling that Mark Hamill has said (not the exact quote, but the gist) 'I disagree with everything you're doing to Luke, but I'll go do my job as an actor'. Guess it's a good thing they killed him off. But they didn't kill Leia, even when they had an easy way to do so. How the hell are they gonna fix that come the next movie? Kill her off screen? Major shoutouts to Adam Driver and Domhnall Gleeson - they managed to be thoroughly unlikeable villains, turning in convincing performances despite the script. Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron is exactly that, which appears intentional, so that was good acting. Hux was conceptually the worst sort of elitist British Imperialist, and he was exactly that. Apparently Gleeson did a LOT of research on how to portray the role convincingly, and it shows. Boyega does a decent job as Finn, but he has to fight with characterization as someone who is way more naive than the actor. Oscar Isaac turns in a good performance as Poe, despite getting handed the idiot ball by the script. Carrie does fine as Leia, but she doesn't actually get to do much in the movie. As her last hurrah, it's pretty muted. Daisy Ridley does alright with what she has - but she has to play a girl who has Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron in her head AND Massive Dick Alternate Universe Luke Skywalker being a dick to her face. Her perseverance is kind of admirable. They didn't get Peter Mayhew as Chewie. Maybe that's why he's barely in the movie. Andy Serkis is fine as Snoke. He's not as good at being evil as Ian McDiarmid, but what can you do? Laura Dern as Admiral Holdo...she's written as a bitch, she pulls it off just fine. My complaint is her script, not the acting. Kelly Marie Tran as Rose is...fine, I guess? Again, I mostly hate the script, not the actress.

The nitpicks: Do shields work, or not? Make up your minds! Capital ships have never needed fuel before. This is a limitation that they have added for this movie. I wish they hadn't. Gravity doesn't work like that, space bomber friends. How the hell do they *hear* the Star Destroyers arriving on the planet's surface at the beginning? During Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron's big 'fight' with Luke, they couldn't figure out which way he was holding his lightsaber, shot to shot. Porgs nesting in the Falcon's wiring? And Chewie doesn't say or do *anything*? Really? Given the size of the island, what the hell is up with the 'caretaker' aliens? Also, how the hell do they not exist for apparent DAYS, and then they have just always been there? Why the hell do they show us Luke's X-Wing, and then never do the 'lift it from the sea' shot? Or do ANYTHING with it at all? Why is the Mon Cal Cruiser's hanger bay empty for like 150 meters while Irritating Manchild Kyle Ron is flying through it, with a handful of fighters right at the back end? Why in the world don't the FO use all the TIE Fighters they obviously have? Actually, why is the only real dogfight the terrible bomber escort bit at the beginning? This is Star Wars, dammit, X-Wings dogfighting with TIE Fighters is something that should happen a lot. Why are the cops on the casino planet wearing samurai helmets? Why didn't Holdo bother to just TELL Poe (and everyone else, for that matter) the plan? Why did Holdo wait until half the shuttles were gone, just watching, before her (clearly planned) suicide run? Actually, why not evac the medical frigate BEFORE it runs out of fuel, and use THAT to ram? Why does no one but evil!BB-8 question the moving, beeping trashcan? Why in the FUCK does the entire 'infinity mirror' sequence come to literally NOTHING? There's probably more, but those are the ones that came to mind.

Final thoughts: Everything that has anything to do with the Force in this movie is basically garbage (except Snoke whacking Rey with the lightsaber, that was hilarious). The characters all grab the idiot ball, nobody (except Finn and Rose) bother to tell anyone else what they're about to do, and Luke just straight up gets fucked as a character. The space battles are unsatisfying...actually, they're mostly just insulting to your intelligence. Rian Johnson just doesn't GET Star Wars. What it's about, why we watch it, what people like about it.

This film is structurally a mess and thematically a disaster. I rate it way worse than TFA, worse than Episodes II and III. I honestly can't decide if I dislike this more than the Phantom Menace. If you're a Star Wars fan, this movie doesn't want you to like it, and if you're not...then why would you start with Episode EIGHT?

#Star Wars #Star Wars spoilers #The Last Jedi #The Last Jedi spoilers

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timelord-winchester-22b · 7 years ago

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The death of River Song

Okay, I think I’ve tormented you guys long enough. Part two to The Library. Here it is. I’m glad you guys liked it enough to ask for the sequel. But guess what? Imma make it real sad. Have fun with this one.

Word count: 2902 (longer than i expected, wow)

Allons-y!

“Who is he?” Other Dave asked, looking at the Doctor as he tracked down another swarm, then between you and River. “You haven’t even told us, and you just expect us to trust him”

“He’s the Doctor” You said firmly.

“Who’s, ‘the Doctor’?” Lux asked, leaning in to join the conversation.

“The only story you’ll ever tell” River told the others. “If you survive him” You smiled at that. Danger followed the Doctor everywhere, but it was never his fault. He helped every time, and you wouldn’t change one line, not for anything.

“You say he’s your friend, but he doesn’t even know who you are” Anita pointed out.

“Listen” You spoke up, getting everyone’s attention. “All you need to know is this: I’d trust the man to the end of the universe. And actually, we’ve been”

“He doesn’t act like he trusts you”

“Yeah, there’s a tiny problem” River nodded. You exchanged a glance.

“He hasn’t met us yet” You spoke in unison. You broke away to walk over to the Doctor, who was holding his sonic screwdriver to his ear.

“What’s wrong with it?” You asked him, taking his hands to look.

“There’s a signal coming from somewhere, interfering with it” He told you, watching your movements closely.

“Use the red settings” You told him simply, dropping his hands.

“It doesn’t have a red setting”

“Well use the dampers”

“It doesn’t have dampers”

“It will one day” You said simply, holding your sonic screwdriver to him. He took it slowly, looking it over.

“So, sometime in the future I just give you my screwdriver?” He asked incredulously.

“Yeah” You nodded.

“Why would I do that?”

“I didn’t pluck it from your cold dead hands if that’s what you’re worried about” You responded, coldly but evenly.

“And I know that because…?”

He was so very close to actually glaring at you, you turned away for a moment, huffing in annoyance and calming yourself before turning back.

“Listen to me, you’ve lost your friend, you’re angry. I understand. But you need to be less emotional right now” You reasoned.

“Less emo- I’m not emotional!” He shouted, quite obviously annoyed.

“Your tone indicates otherwise” You spoke loudly, trying to get him to listen.

“Both of you” River snapped, walking over before turning to the Doctor. “There are six people in this room still alive, focus on that. Dear God, you are hard work young”

“Young? Who are you?!” The Doctor cried, sounding nothing short of outraged.

“For heaven’s sake!” Lux interrupted, standing. “Look at the three of you! We’re all gonna die right here and you’ve figured out how to squabble like an old married couple in threes”

The three of you looked at each other uneasily and River caught your eye. She gave a minute nod and you took a deep breath, knowing what you had to do.

“Doctor…” You started slowly. “One day we are going to be people that you trust completely, but we can’t wait for you to find that out. So I’m going to prove it to you. And I’m sorry. I’m really, very sorry” You leaned up close, whispering in his ear a secret only the three of you knew. When you pulled away he was staring at you, stunned.

“Are we good?” You asked, your voice wavering slightly. He didn’t respond. “Doctor, are we good?”

“Yeah” He spoke softly, barely audible. It felt like he was looking at you for the first time, like this was the moment he stopped looking through you. And it was wonderful, but it still hurt, because he still had that shock in his expression. He still couldn’t believe it. “Yeah, we’re good” He repeated louder.

“Good” You responded curtly, snatching your screwdriver back and walking away. River gave him an apologetic glance as he looked to her, and followed you.

River was using your screwdriver to test the shadows as you sat on one of the tables nearby, focused on your feet.

“You know, it’s funny, I keep wishing the Doctor was here” You spoke slowly.

“The Doctor is here, isn’t he?” Anita asked, looking confused. “I mean, he’s coming back, right?” You paused a moment, glancing at River as you thought about how to best word your thoughts.

“You know how you see a photograph of someone you know, but it’s from years before you met them, and it’s like they’re not quite… finished. They’re… not quite done yet? Well, yes the Doctor is here. But not my Doctor, not the Doctor I know. Now, my Doctor” You smiled at the thought of him, jumping off the table to pace around behind River as you continued. “I’ve seen whole armies turn and run away, and he’d just swagger off to his Tardis, and open the doors with a snap of his fingers. The Doctor, in the Tardis, next stop: everywhere”

“Spoilers” The Doctor spoke up. You looked around to find him standing in the doorway up the stairs. He walked down and jumped the banister, making you smile despite the circumstances. He never changed.

“Nobody can open a Tardis by snapping their fingers, it doesn’t work like that” He insisted.

Your smile faded. Then again, of course he changed. He was the Doctor, last of the Time Lords, it was basically his thing.

“It does for the Doctor” You replied evenly.

“I am the Doctor”

“Yeah, someday” You agreed softly, your voice cracking as you held back sudden tears. He hesitated a moment before moving on to check on Anita.

“We need to stop this” Lux declared amidst the chaos. “We need to save CAL”

“What is it? What is CAL?” The Doctor asked him.

“We need to get to the main computer, I’ll show you”

“It’s at the core of the planet”

“Well then, let’s go” You declared, sonicking the closed circle in the middle of the floor and causing it to open, up, showing a ring of blue light. “Gravity platform” You grinned smugly, tossing your screwdriver in the air and catching it like you’d seen him do countless times.

“Oh I bet I like you” He grinned, sounding pleased.

“Oh, you do” You agreed, stepping onto the platform.

“Easy!” The Doctor shouted suddenly, running over to the terminal. “We beam all of the people out of the data core. The computer will reset and stop the countdown” He paused with a frown. “Difficult, Charlotte doesn’t have enough memory to make the transfer. Easy! I’ll hook myself into the computer and she can borrow my memory space”

“Difficult!” You and River cried out together, running over to him.

“It’ll kill you stone dead” She continued.

“Yeah, it’s easy to criticize” He muttered, playing with some of the wiring.

“It’ll burn up both your hearts and don’t think you’ll regenerate!” You shouted back at him.

“I’ll try my hardest not to die. Honestly, it’s my main thing”

“Doctor!” You shouted together again.

“If I’m right, this’ll work. Shut up! Listen, you and Luxy boy, back up to the main library. Prime any data cells you can find for maximum download”

You opened your mouth to speak when he turned back to you.

“And, before you say anything else, Professor, can I just mention, as you’re here, shut up”

“Oh I hate you sometimes!” River yelled at him as he ran back off to the terminal.

“I know!” he shouted back. River took your arm to make sure you followed as you left.

“Mr Lux, with us. Anita, if he dies, we’ll kill him!”

You looked around a minute later, finding only you and Mr Lux.

“Where’s River?!” You shouted, turning to look around. Lux looked around too.

“I don’t know” He admitted. You growled, knowing exactly what she was doing, but you couldn’t let her.

“Keep working, do not stop! We need everything primed!” You reminded him as you ran off, intent on finding River before she did anything stupid. You just got down to the main computer and looked around to find no sign of River. Anita’s suit was lying on the ground lifeless and you gritted your teeth at the sight, moving on. You gasped as you spotted the Doctor unconscious by the terminal, rushing over. Your eyes widened as you realised he wasn’t just unconscious, he had been handcuffed to a pipe in the wall. And you knew those particular handcuffs.

You turned just in time to duck a swing from River, jumping up and grabbing both her wrists as you forced her back into the wall.

“I know what you want to do, and I won’t let you” You told her determinedly.

“Somebody has to” She insisted. “And it’s not going to be him”

“Well it’s not going to be you either!”

“There’s no one else!”

“There’s me” You whispered. You let go of River to knock her out quickly but she blocked you, grabbing your wrists as you had done to her.

“Never” She promised. The two of you stood silently for a moment and you shook off her hands. A sob broke free as you stared at her and she stared back sadly.

“You can’t” You whispered, afraid you wouldn’t be able to speak properly if you tried any louder. She shook her head slightly.

“I’m sorry” She whispered in return. And before you knew it, everything went black.

“Neither of you would have a chance and neither do I!” River yelled, her voice breaking the darkness. You opened your eyes, blinking blearily for a second before remembering what was happening. You looked around quickly, finding you were handcuffed by your right wrist only, beside the Doctor. You caught sight of River sitting in a chair and fixing some wires, set up for the role you were ready to take.

“River!” You called, trying to jump up. The handcuffs stopped you but you didn’t stop tugging, staring at her pleadingly.

“I’m timing it for the end of the countdown” She continued, trying not to look directly at you as you were crying. “There’ll be a blip in the command flow. That way it should improve our chances of a clean download”

“River, please, no!” The Doctor protested. You didn’t look at him like every other time he talked, you didn’t even think about it, your eyes locked on your best friend. She was about to die.

“Funny thing is, this means you’ve always known how I was going to die. All the time we’ve all been together, you knew I was coming here. The last time I saw you- the real you, the future you I mean- you turned up on our doorstep with a new haircut and a suit. You took us to Darillium to see The Singing Towers. Oh, what a night that was. The towers sang… and you cried”

Auto-destruct in one minute

You gave the handcuffs another solid tug, but they didn’t budge.

“You wouldn’t tell either of us why, but I suppose you knew it was time- my time. To come to The Library. You even gave (Y/N) your sonic screwdriver, that should have been a clue”

You looked down to see both screwdrivers on top of both yours and River’s diaries in front of you. Both you and the Doctor lunged forward to reach for them, but they were just out of reach.

“There’s nothing you can do” She told you softly.

“Let me do this!” The Doctor yelled desperately.

“River, please” You sobbed, not letting up on the handcuffs even as they bit harshly into your skin.

“If you die here it’ll mean I’d never met you” She told the Doctor, ignoring you again.

“Time can be rewritten!” He insisted.

“Not those times, not one line, don’t you dare” You could hear the tears in her voice as your own fell freely. “It’s okay. It’s okay, it’s not over for you. You’ll see me again. You’ve got all of that to come. The three of us, time and space, you watch us run”

“River!” You shouted one last time. She finally looked at you and you saw why she had been avoiding it. Tears fell down her face as she saw you, tugging violently on your wrist, desperate to save her. She looked down at the wires in her lap for a moment before looking back at you.

“I’m so sorry Sweetie” She whispered sadly. You shook your head.

“No. No River you can’t! Don’t leave me alone please! I can’t do this without you, I need you!”

She didn’t respond.

“River, you know my name” The Doctor spoke evenly, though it was obvious to the three of you he was holding back his own tears.

Auto-destruct in 10…

“(Y/N) whispered my name in my ear, you both know it”

… 9, 8, 7, 6…

River placed what looked like a silver crown on her head to connect herself to the computer.

“There’s only one reason I would ever tell anyone my name…”

… 5…

“There’s only one time I could”

“River!” You growled, one hand on your other wrist as you pulled as hard as you could.

… 4 …

“Hush, now” River whispered, tears still streaming down her face.

… 3, 2 …

“Spoilers”

… 1 …

“No!”

River connected the cables and a blinding light engulfed the room, but you couldn’t look away. Whether you saw her or not, River was there.

You sat back against the wall and cried, one hand still tugging against the handcuffs despite the pain. You didn’t mind. Compared to the pain of losing River, it was non-existent. You felt the Doctor’s arm wrap around you and turned into him by instinct. He still smelled the same, and it was a comfort you accepted quickly, but it did very little. He reached up to take your hand a few minutes later, realizing what you were doing and stopping it before you could make it worse.

Mr Lux and Donna came down some time later, both shocked at what they found. River, dead in that chair. The Doctor with his free arm around you as you continued to cry. The Doctor got his screwdriver back and released you both, tutting slightly as he examined the state of your injured wrist. He carried you back to the Tardis to fix it up while Donna waited to look for someone she had met inside the computer. You still didn’t stop crying.

“(Y/N)?” You batted away whoever owned the voice, keeping your eyes shut “(Y/N). I have something to tell you”

“What’s the point?” You muttered brokenly, turning away from him.

“(Y/N), I’ve saved her”

Your eyes snapped open and you sat up quickly, turning to him.

“What?”

“Your screwdriver, I used it to save her. It caught her inside as a data ghost, and I uploaded her to the computer” He explained, smiling softly at you. A sob broke free from you and you covered your mouth with a hand, even as you were smiling.

“She’s okay?”

“She’s okay”

You laughed through tears, wrapping your arms around him to pull him close. You laughed happily as his arms wrapped around you in return.

“She’s okay” You repeated in a whisper, burying your face in his shoulder.

“Are you staying?” He asked gently. You didn’t respond.

You had left the moment you were alone. The Doctor returned to find a note in your place, his mouth falling open in shock. After he read the note and understood he couldn’t stop berating himself for letting it happen. He should have known you’d leave. He should have convinced you to stay. The Doctor eventually moved your things to his storeroom. The memories he couldn’t part with.

On one shelf he left a Tardis blue diary, a sonic screwdriver and a note. A note that was your last contact to him;

I’m sorry Doctor. See, as much as I hate what she did, River was right. None of our times together should ever be rewritten, not one line. So this is me, keeping the story as it is. I’ll never see you again, but you still have so much to come. You still have to meet us. We still have all that running to do, and you can watch me learn it all.

Because I’ve learned something very important. When you run with the Doctor, it feels like it will never end. But no matter how hard you try, you can’t run forever. Everybody knows that everybody dies, and everything ends. And nobody knows it like us, eh? Nobody knows it like you. But I think, and River did too, that all the skies in all the worlds might just turn dark if you ever, for one moment, accepted it.

Because everybody knows that everybody dies. But not every day. Not today. River is alive. And as long as I am alive I will remember her, and I will continue our story alone, because you still have the start to see. I will carry on the way we’ve always been, exploring, adventuring. Saving people and planets and solar systems and time and space itself. As long as I am alive the name of River Song will live on. And no one will ever forget the names of us.

(F/N) (L/N), River Song and the Doctor. Team Tardis. Forever written in the stars. So keep going. Keep running, and you’ll see me soon enough.

-(Y/N)

Tag lists

Everything: @dekahg

Series: @riveranddoctorsong123 @duquesarosa

The Library Part Two: @rycbaryana @fandoms-pizza-wifi-ym13

@sincerelyalivia Here it is.

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