#really hoping i didn't forget anything
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just-illegal · 1 year ago
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c!RTumblr Sexyman Tournament Round 1
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hi :) new bracket design themed after our last winner, cupcake! im not just using icons this time tho so ill have a lot of credits to get through
Poll link
(yes im using google forms still. i like the ballot-like format more. the final and any tiebreakers will be tumblr polls tho)
once again i will close the poll in ~24 hours
some highlights from the submissions poll :)
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^ says that 60% said no and that 40% said all. note that one of the votes for all of them here, mine, had no characters get in
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^ if your character made it on and you don't want them there, you can still say so! i will replace them and then redo their poll. same if your art made it in and you don't want it there, except i won't have to redo their poll
also, fun fact: cupcler got 3 submissions, hatcler technically got 2 but one was by cc!hat, and c!aamit got 2
credits under the cut bc there's a lot
rtcler: blog is @ask-the-rt-cler, art is by badly-drawn-rtumblr
cupcler: blog is @ask-kevins-cupcler, art is by fluffydancer618
kevler: blog is @ask-greedler-kev, art is by fluffy again
rtsans: blog is @rtsans, art + au is by redchill-i
magical john: blog is @ask-magical-john, art is by tsunesama
c!aamit: blog + character is @aamitmorthos, art is fluffy again
c!hatcler: blog + character + art is @my-name-is-daniel-yes
c!fluffy: blog + character + art is @fluffydancer618
c!mork: blog + character + art is @morkify
c!kiesha: blog is @onlykiesha, character is kieshartz, art is by his friend grey (who doesn't have social media i don't think)
c!adam: blog is @the-snake-demon, character is by snake-bastard, art is by asnakesartgarden
brian: blog is @askrtexe, art and au are by bifamiliarbrindley
c!copper: blog is @copperquiescence, character is by copperexecption, art is by adam again
c!dyna: blog is @fuckery-labs, character and edit by dynamiteghost
i want die: blog is @iwantdie2018, art is by 4goop (deactivated 😔)
crumpet: blog is @mareep-gaming, art is by kevin-life-tips
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teeayohess · 1 month ago
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{ 18 simlish horror-themed recolors of misstiikeri+eir's m2f crooked tee } what a mouthful lmao
i wasn't too sure about how these had turned out at first, but after seeing them in game they actually grew on me, so here they are. thank you @gvaudoiin-tricou for encouraging me to finish them and share! i hope you like them :-)
since this is essentially a mash-up of several people's work (see credits), frankenstein-ed together, it feels pretty appropriate for the theme.... 🧟‍♂️🔪🦇🩸👽 consider this a tiny late simblreen treat, hehe 🎃
these separate tops are for AF only*, since that's what i needed in my game (but the TF/EF meshes should be easy to copy-paste onto) [edit: *added links to an AM version as well]
they are categorized as everyday, sleepwear and athletic (not sure who would want to sleep or exercise in fishnets but hey i'm not judging. also it's really easy to remove them if you like, since they're a separate texture from the shirt)
compressorized, tooltipped, and the files are labeled clearly. the swatch and previews are included in the rar file.
full disclosure, this mesh has a few issues i don't currently have the skills to fix: it has no fat morph (😑), and there is some clipping in places depending on how the sim moves, and a few dark spots (not super noticeable with the black texture, thankfully). if anyone feels inspired to fix the mesh or add morphs, i'll happily update this post and the linked file.
>>> get them here: { SFS } { MF } [edit: AM version here: { SFS } { MF } ]
credits, swatch & unedited pic under the cut.
swatch: (labeled according to the file names for easy id; i suck at reading simlish so 'flash' was all i could understand from that one, apologies if it's incorrect lol)
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unedited preview: (taken in-game, with neutral lighting)
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credits: the77sims & misstiikeri (original male mesh & 3t2 conversion) eir (m2f conversion) trillyke (fishnets), monilisasims (4t2 conversion) littlecakes (graphics), kalux (4t2 conversion) surprisepeach (graphics)
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raziiyah · 3 months ago
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hey! this is actually something i've thought about quite a lot before so here's how i see it:
since monsters are so diverse in the monster world, there are a vast amount of factors that are considered beautiful. some monsters may like 1 eye, some like 3 eyes and some like 8. some like feathers, scales, or fur. it just comes down to preference. but for monsters, generally, scary = beautiful
firstly, for the teeth thing, i imagined that just like human beauty standards, monster beauty standards can change. perhaps yellow teeth used to be the standard, but then it was discovered that whiter teeth made them more visible and gave them a scarier appearance. also, maybe they discovered that poor dental health caused monsters to lose their teeth sooner, which is a problem if you rely on them for scaring. proper dental care allowed you to stay healthy and kept your teeth in good condition, keeping you in the scaring career for longer. like when sulley is brushing his teeth in mi, mike really emphasizes getting rid of plaque
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this change could also be why randall's teeth in mi are visibly whiter than they were in mu
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as for female monsters, i see it sorta like how jessica rabbit from who framed roger rabbit is in toon town. she's regarded as very beautiful, but not as desireable or successful (to other toons) as roger rabbit, someone more cartoony and goofy looking
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so though the more humanoid looking monsters could be considered beautiful, since being a scarer is known as the biggest achievement a monster could have, if you're scary, you're considered beautiful on a whole other level.
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another idea i had is that scaring could be considered as a male dominated career, so the scary/beauty standards for female monsters aren't as scrutinized as much as male monsters. this could be why there are more female monsters that aren't necessarily as "scary looking"
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this could also play a role into why the pnk's are so cutthroat- with a more conventionally beautiful appearance, they might not be considered the most successful in monster society. sure they could be models and movie stars
(though i can still see """scary/conventionally unattractive""" monsters being just as viable as models and moviestars in the monster world, maybe even more so),
but since scarers are the creme de la creme, "prettier" monsters could sometimes be seen as beautiful but maybe not typically the image of someone "successful" or "desireable" (my oc lia is a scarer and has a body type similar to the pnks so i made this an insecurity of hers hehe)
but monsters can combat this by showing their scariness through their glowing eyes, teeth, claws, etc. this could be valuable as well as there's a scary/surprising factor to appearing "innocent" at first, which could be advantageous in scaring, if you know how to use it (like the pnk's in the toxicity challenge or terri and terry in the scare simulator)
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also considering the movie poster seen in maw; it's about monsters in space, likely referring to aliens. humans could be considered aliens/alien-looking to monsters because they come from another world, and heather has a more humanoid appearance
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on the other hand, hss is more favored as "one of the most powerful, scary monsters in campus, and they have a more traditionally "scary" appearance. and in monsters at work, of the female monsters in the mu sororities, rosie levin was the one who made it to the same scare/(laugh) floor that sulley/(mike) are/(were) on, at monsters inc.
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so really i think beauty is subjective in the monster world since everyone is so different. conventionally beautiful monsters are still beautiful, maybe even some monster's preference, but scary monsters are generally favored most, because of how much monster society is centered around scaring. after all, "scariness is the true measure of a monster."
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@moonlight-monster @randall-simp-nadt88
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bangguks · 1 year ago
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SECOND CHAPTER (1/7)
∟ J-Hope
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mel-loly · 2 days ago
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-Merry Christmas!💗✨
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the tags (↓) are more important!!!
#I couldn't prepare anything for Christmas other than this... which I didn't like but ok. that's fine. that's what I have for now..!#*sigh* I'm very tired and still. it's not even the end of the year. it's christmas.. a date that I really like. by the way. I'm just tired..#but anyway. like I say every year. today. I'm going to say the same thing! christmas is not santa claus.#It's not mother claus and MUCH LESS “mel creator claus”.#christmas is not a “simple celebratory date” and it is also not a day just to think about gifts/food#(even if we want/like these things a lot and it is difficult not to think only about them)#at christmas. the birth of jesus. the birth of christ. is celebrated! a more than important date!#It is a special date and should be celebrated with those you love or at least “have some affinity with”.#or if you want to celebrate alone. that's fine. but don't forget to celebrate! christ was born and there is no better news than that!#celebrate. enjoy and make the most of this thought. don't forget to remember that this day is important.#that it is not just another “simple commemorative date”. but rather. a more than special date.#the birth of a person who came to save the world with his miracles..💛#a kiss and a hug. I love each one of you very much and I hope you will be patient with me if I don't answer you...... thank you very much!🫶#mel creator#my oc character#oc stuff#merry christmas#christmas art#i'm mel and this is my blog✌️#my art blog#art#my art#my art <3#art mel#my art style
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danwhobrowses · 5 months ago
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Prefacing that, again time zones, I've only been able to glean the latest CR episode and that I do not agree with their in-character opinions on the gods, I'd like to remind fans to try and not get super ugly about their criticism of Ashton Greymoore.
I'll be the first to throw my hands up and say they're among my favourite C3 characters so there may be bias, but I've been getting flashes of the Shard Incident from reactions towards their recent and vocal disdain for the gods. Disagree with them all you want, Taliesin knows that the gods can't simply leave since they're the one who said that the Wildmother would die if she left, but understand that it's a character flaw and if you recall the hardships of their backstory, the unanswered prayers, and that their only exchanges with the gods have required them to do something or, with the Dawnfather Angel, have been met with cold disregard, it's understandable how they got to feeling that way. Ashton has lived alone and been told they don't matter for a lot of their life; no gods, no family, no nurturing presence to guide them, they've been abandoned, used, and - with additional influence by the Dominox accusing them of wanting FCG to die - are currently between blaming themselves and the Changebringer for their closest friend's death.
Make no mistake Ashton is wrong, I think the self-confessed hypocrite with also self-confessed poor morality knows that deep down, or at least knows that they're not the kind of person who should be in charge. Vassalheim is a difficult place for a titan vessel to be in so it is unsure what they will do from here; perhaps investigate the Earth Titan? Commune with the Emperor and Empress? Or maybe be brought to the gods and be able to vent or reconcile with them (and maybe get some closure with FCG, speak with his spirit as like a mediator between the Hells and the Gods)? But it feels like Taliesin is being vocal for a reason, and it's either to invite Matt to challenge it (I've said in other comments but I would love if Ashton found some comfort, not worship or a pact but maybe just a dialogue, in the Everlight: a goddess of healing, temperance and redemption - all of which would help Ashton mentally - as unlikely as it'd be) or find another maybe primordial route to give Ashton a narrative tether towards stopping Predathos.
Let's just, not be cruel about the character, they are more than just their bad trauma and grief-led opinion on gods remember?
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somegrumpynerd · 8 months ago
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I managed a go at the DTIYS for @ask-the-cat-cafe :D
The background is nothing and I left out a couple of cats but I hope it's okay! ^^;
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rebelcracker-s · 1 year ago
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WELCOME HOME THEORY :D
i've been swinging back and forth between "this is genius" and "i am spitballing" in debating whether to publicize this theory. i have decided to put it out there. i hope i'm somewhat right! (long post ahead)
so user @thecolourfulkingdom pointed out the importance of this tic-tac-toe image from the guestbook page:
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i know a one-person game of tic-tac-toe doesn't seem like much, but op then placed this image on top of the neighborhood map (credits to them for figuring that out!), this image becomes very interesting.
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it's suspicious how nicely the two line up.
i know this could be a random detail, but in somewhere as detailed as welcome home, i think that every detail counts, especially one like this. if it is a coincidence, it's a very strange one.
the circles in the board call attention to four (or five, depending on how you look at it) characters: wally/home, sally, frank, and howdy. we already know wally and home are two very important characters in the lore, but what connection do the remaining three three have? and why is wally pointing them out specifically?
this trio made me think of a certain image from the conceptual days of welcome home: concept art of the telephone that was revealed in the july update. (i'm not going to repost it due to clown's wishes about spreading conceptual art, but you can find it on their portfolio!)
in this image, the phone has eight buttons for eight neighbors, like the current one on the website. however, this one has three buttons scribbled out. based on colors, the three characters missing are sally (orange), howdy (teal), and eddie (purple).
i know it's not exact, but the fact that two out of the three "scratched-out" characters match the ones circled on this map has me thinking that i'm onto something.
here's what i think is going on. something happened in the neighborhood that divided the neighbors in half. something happened to the four uncircled ones--julie, barnaby, eddie, and poppy. it's really not clear what's happened to them right now, but wally has mentioned that he cannot talk to his neighbors right now. i think they at the very least lack the awareness to the strange things happening in the neighborhood. at the worst, they are dead.
again, i'm not sure what happened to them, so all we can do right now is speculate.
our remaining four--frank, sally, howdy, and wally--are the ones who have retained awareness. they know what is happening in home. they know about the whrp. and they know about the audience welcome home is gaining.
we know wally and home know about us because they have both spoken to us through the "i will find a way soon" audios. but what about the remaining three?
the july website update not only included the drawings that led to wally's messages, but also bugs leading to videos of interactions between the members. while the whrp insisted that there was nothing important about the bugs, the audience could click on these bugs and find secret videos depicting a conversation between the neighbors.
the latest game theory video on welcome home points out that like how drawing is related to wally and the drawings lead to messages from him, bugs are connected to frank, from his character description to his hidden audio with eddie. i believe those messages could be from frank. the video goes into more depth about this, but for the sake of the length of this theory, i'll stop here.
in the october 13th halloween update, we got the "happy haunting to boo and yours" record. the website staff insist multiple times that there is a gap in the audio during sally's story where they can't make out what sally is saying, but we can. (if you need a transcript for the skipped-over part, i have one reblogged!)
sally's story is a very menacing one about a monster that she cannot see or hear that prowls the neighborhood at night, devouring anything it passes, confining the neighbors to their homes at night. this would seem like a normal scary story if not for how the audio changes. at every other part, the audio has a crackly, vinyl sound; however, sally's story is perfectly clear.
it seems to me like sally is directly talking to the website's audience here: she's trying to warn us about the strange things going on in home. i think frank's messages were trying to do the same thing too. these are glimpses into the sides of welcome home that the whrp, wally, and home have not shown us: the lives of the neighbors, and the unsettling danger lurking beneath it all. notice how subtle both of their warnings were, and how they were careful to make sure that whrp could not discover them while the audience could.
also, remember how the title of the video tabs in the july update--"answer"--led us to the staff only page? i think the title of the newest hidden video--"listen"--is telling us not only to listen to the audios for a true glimpse of what life in the neighborhood was like, but to listen to their warnings.
i don't think wally is aware that frank and sally have been contacting us in secret, but i do believe he knows that they stand apart from the other neighbors, hence the tic-tac-toe board and the map.
but there's still one loose end: howdy hasn't yet talked to the audience. i think that during the big holiday update, we will see the final member of the "survivor trio" (as i like to call them) contact us. and i'm hoping this update tells us more about what's happening in welcome home's world and what role we as the viewers play in it.
:)
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cassidy-cat-ghost · 2 years ago
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my entry of the amazing @cherrifire ‘s ‘Take me to war’ DTIYS.
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glouris · 5 months ago
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need the current hotd ao3 economics explained to me like I'm five, what happened there with aemond and luke?
and like don't get me wrong, I understand that those targs are built different and there's no avoiding alabama dynamics, that's okay ig. but the least y'all could've done is chosen the velaryon brother that isn't 13, come on now 😭😭 the bar was already low, how did y'all manage to still be limbo dancing with the devil
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girlivealwaysbean · 2 months ago
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it's not sinking in that today might be the last day in my house and town for many months to come
#like how do i even feel#on one hand im excited because like now that i finally agreed to dads stupid whims he technically will have to give in to things#ive been wanting since FOREVER like going to the gym#plus it's impossible to eat junk food when he's there he won't even let me kacchi maggi because maida hai bimar ho jayegi#and aadhe se zyada din toh pyaaz ye sab nahi kha sakte so it rules out any outside food#which is so good because like i just found out im pre diabetic lol#like borderline sugar like ab kuch nahi kiya toh seedha type 2 diabetes#so i need to eat healthy or ill literally die#i mean eventually but whatever being diagnosed with this in my 20s would kill me#also simply the fear of living with him is so much that i HAVE to study#and i want to now it's high time#but yeah want doesn't really work for me#i read a quote somewhere that 'goals' don't mean anything because winners and losers have the same goals#and i was like WOAH. like the person who gets an all india rank had the same goal as me: to pass the exam with good marks#but they succeeded and i didn't so it's isn't our goals that differentiate us#which ik is obvious but like still idk put things in perspective#anyway yeah that way my life MIGHT be fixed#but there's also living ALONE with my sociopathic FATHER who has more mood swings than me on pms#and being cut off frm the rest of civilisation and yk developed roads and buildings and ice cream shops#i guess it is mostly food ig :( which is good like the most junk food i can eat there is a burger from a nearby stall and that's pretty#much it they literally do not even have havmor or anything in walking distance forget scoop wali ice cream#but i like my bed and i like my ceiling with the stars and i like looking out of my window and knowing that the first ever crush of my life#lives right next to me and i like knowing that ill meet my bestfriend atleast once a month#i don't really love my mom or my brother tbh but idk maybe ill miss them it's weird ive never lived without them#i don't know i really hope that this is like a boot camp kota types experience rather than so much isolation that i sink deep into#depression. but then ive hit pretty shocking lows this year so hopefully i can handle it#my sister did say that when she lived alone with him for a month it was quite peaceful and okay because he usually gets more angry when mom#is around warna mostly he's fine#i don't know i don't know bhagwan ji please ab aur mushkil mat banana life bohot jhatke de chuke ho already ab pls#mujhe apni galtiyo ko sudharne ka mauka dena 🙏
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sillymillipede · 6 days ago
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I've been thinking about a Ark & Magnus Archives crossover so much and I've finally gathered my thoughts. Major spoilers for both beyond the 'keep reading'
Tagging people who mentioned being interested in my yapping @katie-the-bug @rainesaur
I really want to write something, and it might just be short stories about some of the characters, but the general idea of what I want to do is the Ark story but the fears are there. It would be cool to rewrite the story of Ark and considering how the fears might influence the story or the characters' actions but I doubt I have the energy for that. I'm sure there's a lot of interesting things I could do with Earth getting corrupted by element too. Maybe it somehow caused a less intense version of the apocalypse in Season 5 as well, because of a failed/partial ritual.
Element is somehow related to the Web. It could be related to a lot of different things, but I think the main thing I want to focus on is how it seems to be somewhat alive and convincing people to use it I’ve been mainly thinking about associating fears with Ark characters and this is what I’ve got so far (based on vibes.)
Helena - The Eye The Magnus Archives Wiki says that the Eye includes "drive to know and understand, even if your discoveries might destroy you" and I think that fits Helena really well. (This could fit Rockwell too) In the beginning her motivation for exploring the Island is to learn all she can about the animals there, and later turns into her finding out that the Island is stranger than she realized. One of her motivations throughout the story is to find out the truth about what the Arks were made for and she is putting herself into dangerous situations just to discover more. On the Island, if she had never started to search for more knowledge of what it was, she never would have gotten captured by Nerva and put in a life threatening situation. Despite that, she wouldn't have changed anything, she couldn't have ignored the desire to know more about the island.
In the end, I doubt Helena fully becomes an "avatar" like Jon did, in the notes, Mei tells Helena that she's starting to sound like Rockwell, she decides that she will only use the prism to save her friends, and not to make a discovery about the Arks.
Not sure how I'll include the Homo Deus in this but I'll figure that out if I do decide to write something. Homo Deus Helena is watching over all the Arks, and the character you play as in-game. Maybe in this story, the Homo Deus/One Who Waits really is the Ark version of an archivist, though I doubt Helena would like the whole "feeding on fear and haunting nightmares" thing.
Rockwell - The Web I was going to say the Corruption because “haha funny Ark reference” and just based on physical appearance the Eye or Flesh might work but finally I decided he had to be the Web. He’s manipulating everyone he meets. Nerva, Timur, The Tek survivors, some of the graduate students, Gabriel, etc. He hints at the Obelisks being weapons to Nerva even if he knows they might not be, because he knows that’s what Nerva wants to hear and that’s what will get Nerva to agree to investigate them with him. He allied with Timur just to convince him to fight the Manticore and then steals the element and poisons him. He hides his true intentions from Helena and Diana so he can get what he needs from them. Pretending to be a “kind old man” so he can get their hospitality and supplies and avoid suspicion. And he’s secretly the one behind all the issues on the Genesis Ship and in the simulation. The branching arms and tentacles of Rockwell Prime resemble a web.
In this version of the story the Element itself is manipulating him too, he says he hears it calling to him in the notes.
Nerva - The Slaughter The guy who started one of the first large-scale wars mentioned in the Island notes would be associated with the entity related to war and violence. Nerva thinks that the gods brought him to the island to bring order, and in this version of the story, he will soon realize that while "the gods" do want him to keep causing wars, they are not any of the gods he knows. He gives the Slaughter the violence it wants, and he and his army become strong enough for him to accomplish his goals.
Meiyin - The Hunt I'm sure the hunt really loves the Arks, because now humans are afraid of being hunted a lot more often. It's the fear of being hunted and being prey, and who better to represent that then the character who has gained the reputation of being the "beast queen" because of how she fights and hunts with her tamed dinosaurs
There is also her desire to find and kill those who have harmed people she cared about, and people she was trying to protect. She said she would follow Nerva to whatever Ark he travelled to, if she hadn't killed him in the Tek cave.
In this version of the story she has the ability to communicate with her pack of dinosaurs, and while she won't be able to have full conversations with them or anything like that, she can understand them and how they are feeling even more than she could in the notes.
Santiago - The Extinction (which I know some might not count it as one of the entities but it counts in my heart okay) Obligatory "Extinction? Is that an Ark reference?!?!"
Santiago could be part of the "oops I caused the apocalypse club", while it wasn't him specifically who did it, in the notes he realizes that the Element corruption came from the Element War, which was fought using weapons he designed, and he seems to think he's responsible for it. He even says "Either I'm a horseman of the apocalypse, or I'm nothing at all."
And by the time of the Element War the Extinction could have been around for long enough to be like the other entities. It includes the fear of humans causing their own extinction, and while humans don't go extinct in Ark, Earth ends up being destroyed by their actions. There are no humans left on Earth until Santiago and the others have arrived. It also includes the fear of humanity being replaced by something else, which I could stretch to include how most humans alive are clones of people who have already died, aside from maybe some people on the colony ship.
I don't have a lot of thoughts for other characters. I could say Diana had an encounter with the End, considering how she died and was resurrected by Helena.
Gabriel could be associated with the Stranger or Spiral? He has the engrammic matrix of two different people, and therefore the memories/personalities of two people. Which could be connected to the "your mind is lying to you" aspect of the Spiral, or the uncanny "something isn't right" aspect of the Stranger.
I could also connect the Desolation to what happened to Nosti. it's described as the fear of "pain, loss, burning, and destruction", and not only was the city itself destroyed, but also the lives that Raia and John (the Ark John) had created for themselves and those who lived there, as well as Raia's chance of having a life with John after he dies.
Raia does not work for or become an avatar of the Desolation. I considered going that route with the story, but in order for her to do that she would have to start causing that kind of destruction herself, and that does not seem like her character. She does cause destruction, but she specifically fights creatures that attack other survivors/villages, in order to make sure what happened to herself and Nosti doesn't happen to others. She would not help the 'god' that destroyed her city, and took the one she loved from her.
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moonchild-in-blue · 11 days ago
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I haven't really done much art for tumblr (at all) lately, cus life, but! Here's a lil something I've been working on (it's a Xmas gift) 💙
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(also peep that lil January calendar painting 👀 i did mini squares for each month for myself, because I need to have a physical one always, and they each have their own colour 🥺)
#sometimes i forget i'm a painter lol#this is just the base so i'll still add some cool stuff (colours and some gold leaf details hehe)#usually my thing is more flat/less busy painting (with more mixed media) but i've been digging this vibe lately#my art account is completely wiped cus i private everything earlier this year (same with personal)#but i wanna start posting again. not just old stuff but actually *make* something new everyday#like a little challenge i suppose#since i'm not currently working in my field and have being going through a bit of a rough adjustment period about ✨things✨#(plus the whole depresh spiraling)#i barely have been making any art at all that isn't just sketches/silly stuff#i miss painting. i miss making murals and working on an actual project etc#now that *some * things have been settled AND i finally have my own space i feel a lot more keen on working on it#i know i hardly ever talk about that part of my private life cus i do wanna keep it somewhat separate from here#but i guess i'm in a good mood and kinda ready to admit some stuff#??? that didn't make sense#i'm feeling hopeful for next year and have a semblance of a plan. That's what I meant there you go#i can already feel myself cringe cus everytime i share these type of things something ALWAYS bites my ankles#and that's why i hardly ever share anything at all with anyone ever until it actually is done or underway#which is! not good! i'm aware! but. ya know#ANYWAYS. rant over. look at the pretty colours and ignore my rambles#hmmmm my band crush guy (platonic) (guess who) (🕊️🥁) said my name and loved my super insightful question and i'll probably dream about it#(and the other really liked it too. MY BABE. it was kinda silly so very unexpected)#(okay i think this is buried deep enough to not make myself look like a 12 with a stupid crush) (hehehehehe)#darya does art#<- sure in the art tag it goes#blue#(it was a coincidence! i've never done anything exclusively blue before actually!) (in this capacity i mean)#traditional art#abstract painting
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trekkiehood · 2 months ago
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#ok ramble time#classic this feels too intimate to share with anyone so everyone gets it#essentially last week there was a suicide on campus#he was not one of my students or in our department#I'm pretty removed from it#ans i really didn't think it affected me#but i guess it has#bc like i thought i was over#✨this✨#Like ok i have had active plans in the past#one of those this is how this is when this is where#just waiting for the final straw#but i clearly never did#and that plan would no longer work due to changes in circumstances and living arrangements etc#which is honestly probably for the best#bc i refuse to make a new one bc i know i do not want to go there#but im just TIRED and ANXIOUS#its not even the depression its the anxiety of living#i stay up until 3-4 in the morning bc i cant stand the idea of going to sleep#and i secretly hope each sleep will be my last#bc im not going to DO anything bc that would not be it#too many ppl care about me (unfortunately)#and then ive stopped eating (again)#and it's like idek if its bc i dont want to or bc i forget#its like i see myself self destructing but cant make myself stop#and I have not done anything physically stupid in quite a long time but ive started biting to stim#and i dont even know im doing it half the time it just helps#and skin picking. which none or this is the same as true s/h but it does scare me to a degree bc i dont mean to i just do it#anyway i don't expect anyone to read all of this i just had to get it out ot my head
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hisui-cotton · 1 year ago
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time etches itself
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xfand0mfr34kx · 2 years ago
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some AU stuff with colour before I go to sleep
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