#really having one of those wishing i could change my entire personality days
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itwasmagic · 2 years ago
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being in a fandom for 11 years n not having a single friend in it is truly an experience i would not recommend
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lieutenantselnia · 4 months ago
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Internet archive I love you❤️❤️❤️
#my 14 year old self is crying tears of joy rn#I was able to recover videos of a yt channel that I used to follow as a teen but was closed by the owner from one day to the other#for *years* I thought I'd never see them again (aside very few scattered reuploads)#granted my interests changed and I was occupied with other things#but every once in a while I was wishing I could just watch at least my nr 1 favourite video of them just one more time#but NOW I found out that someone salvaged basically the entire channel and just - put the videos up for downloading?!#it feels so unreal because after all this time I can just watch them again? as often as I want?! and they're mine to keep forever?!! ahhhh#I'm getting unreasonably emotional over this but that channel genuinely meant a lot to me at the time#I still remember that I was on the school bus home when I discovered it was gone#and I swear if I hadn't been in a public setting I'd legit have cried over it. it certainly ruined an otherwise really nice day for me#granted my 14y/o self probably had a bit of a dumb sense of humour (harmless. but dumb. what do you expect from a 14y/o?)#(hence I'm also hesitant to mention the channel name bc I'm not sure if I'm ready to potentially embarrass myself)#but I still feel an odd fondness looking back because I know how much those videos meant to her <3#especially my one favourite video which 1. was the sole reason I discovered one of my favourite tv shows ever#and 2. was probably the spark that really ignited my initial interest in animation and digital arts#bc for the first time I consciously realised that you can actually do cool and fun stuff even as just one single person#and that you don't need an entire animation team to just - express yourself creatively and bring your ideas to life#like I'm not even joking when I say if it wasn't for that channel I might have ended up in an entirely different education/career path#anyway I'm happy. but I'll stop now. oh gods I'm abusing the tags again instead of just writing all that *into* the actual post#internet archive#personal#selnia talks
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girlgenius1111 · 10 days ago
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learning curve
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alexia putellas x reader [& r's nephew] r gets custody of her 5 year old nephew when her brother gets into trouble. alexia insists on sticking around even though r gives her an out. it's a new and entirely stressful situation for r, but alexia makes it a bit easier. fluff, angst, etc. this is a kidfic.
How was it possible? That the most ordinary of days could be just one phone call away from shattering life as you knew it. 
You should have known, really. Should have seen it coming. You were happy for the first time in a while. Happy in your career, in your relationship. Of course something would come along to change everything. 
It was a pleasant day off, the day you got the call. A slow morning where Alexia woke up way before you, but didn’t get up. Instead, she let you sleep in her arms, completely content to just… be there with you. You’d made breakfast together, Alexia’s voice raspy from lack of use, pressing kisses to your shoulders, your face, your neck, as if she couldn’t help it. It was purely and entirely happy. 
Your phone rang just after breakfast. It was an unknown number and you never answered unknown numbers but something about the call made your stomach drop. You clicked the answer button and gave Alexia an apologetic smile, walking out of the room. 
“Hello?” You greeted, tapping your foot impatiently when no one said anything right away. Alexia had put on her favorite show, and as much as you pretended to despise the soap, you were hooked. 
The robotic, pre-recorded message that began startled you.
“This call is from a person currently incarcerated in prison. All calls are logged and recorded and may be listened to by a member of prison staff. If you do not wish to accept this call, please hang up now.” 
It wasn’t shocking, not really. You’d gotten calls like this before, but not for a few years. He used to call a lot, when he first started getting into trouble, asking for money for a lawyer. At the time, you hadn’t had any to give him. Eventually those specific calls stopped. You still heard from him, but not through a call being recorded by a prison. 
He hadn’t been arrested in 5 years. And now… the stakes were much higher. 
“Hello?” The deep voice of your brother came over the line, sounding utterly defeated. 
“Leo.” You sighed. “What happened?” 
“I fucked up. I… Will wanted to start football. But I couldn’t… I couldn’t pay for boots for him. I just wanted to get him something nice.” Leo choked out. You could hear the emotion in his voice, and ignored the pang in your chest as you pictured the little boy just two years older than you, lip trembling as he promised he’d take care of everything. 
“Leo, why didn’t you call me? And ask for help?” 
“I didn’t want to bother you. You’re busy and I should be able to provide for my son. I shouldn’t have to ask my little sister for help, I should have it figured out.” 
“So… this is better? Getting arrested for petty theft and then calling me for help?” You asked sarcastically, though you understood him more than you’d admit. The need to be independent, completely self sufficient. The sinking feeling you’d get when you had to ask for help with something… you still felt that, too.
Your brother was quiet for a moment. Long enough that dread started to build up inside of you again. 
“It’s not petty theft.” He said finally. “It’s grand theft. And accessory to assault. The guy I was working with went a bit rogue.” 
“Jesus.” You sighed. “How long?” 
Another long silence. 
“How long, Leo?”
“10-15 years.” 
You could practically see the tears falling from his eyes in your head, and you knew just by his tone he wasn’t calling for money. Not this time. You could see Alexia out of the corner of your eye, hovering in the doorway uncertainly. 
“I… I signed the papers, to give you custody of Will. To make it easier to take him back to Spain with you. He’d be yours, and I know it’s a lot to ask, and if I had any other option, I would, but the only other option is putting him in the system, and I don’t want that for him. I don’t. I’m so sorry to ask this of you, really I–”
“It’s okay.” You breathed. “It’s alright. Of course, I’ll take him. Of course I will.”
Alexia moved closer, resting a hand on your shoulder once she noticed the tears in your eyes. You let her anchor you, suddenly very sure that this was it with her. Today had been the last nice day you’d have with her, and you hadn’t even known it. 
 But there wasn’t a question of whether you’d do it or not. 
“Are you sure? With your career and–”
“I can make it work.” You said. “I’ll make it work.” 
“Okay.” Leo replied, sounding overwhelmingly relieved. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I wish I–” 
“I’ll be there as soon as I can to get him.” You cut in, unwilling to hear another apology. It wouldn’t fix anything.
 Leo gave you the name of the woman to call, before saying goodbye and hanging up. Even after the call ended, you remained frozen, thinking through all the details, all the things you needed to do, unsure where to start. 
“Amor?” 
Right. That’s where you had to start. 
You turned to Alexia, your face completely impassive. It was the face you made when the team lost and you were upset, or when you got hurt and didn’t want to cry. It was you running from vulnerability, and it had been a long time since Alexia had seen you make it towards her. She’d thought you were past this. 
“My brother was arrested. I’m getting custody of his son. Will. He’s 5. I’m going to bring him back to Spain with me.” You spoke robotically, eyes fixed on a point on the wall just beyond Alexia’s shoulder. 
“Oh… oh wow.” Alexia breathed, nodding her head slowly as she took the information in. 
“It’s a good thing I didn’t get rid of my old apartment. I’ll move my stuff when I get back, you don’t need to worry about any of it. I’ll move back in there and–”
“Why would you do that?” Alexia interrupted, her face twisted with confusion. You looked at her for a moment, her brown roots growing out and the oversized t-shirt she had on. It was soft, your favorite for her to wear because you loved the way the fabric felt on your skin when she held you. 
God this was hard.  
“I… I won’t do this to you, Ale. I won’t. You don’t need this, but I have to–”
“No. Stop. We are not breaking up, and you are not moving out.” 
You turned away from her when you saw the tears in her eyes, clenching your fists tightly and taking a few slow deep breaths. She was making this so hard, but you should have known she would. 
“Alexia,” you began, your voice abruptly cutting off when the midfielder gently grabbed you by the shoulders and turned back towards her. 
“No. No.” She repeated, shaking her head over and over. “Do you love me?” 
You exhaled sharply, desperately wanting to wipe the tear off her cheek. To cradle her face in your hands, and kiss her frown away. You should lie, that would be the best choice. But you couldn’t bring yourself to do so. 
“I do, Ale. I love you so much. That’s why–”
“Then that’s it. You love me and I love you and people who love each other do not break up.” Alexia said firmly, her lip trembling even as she bit it to make it stop. 
“Alexia, please. It’s okay. You don’t have to do this with me, I could never ask you to.” 
“You are not asking. I am telling you. I am not going anywhere, and neither are you. You bring Will here and we’ll figure it out together. Together, amor.” 
She moved closer, her hands cradling your cheeks, wiping your tears away just as you’d wanted to do with hers. Somehow, she was convincing you. Like she always did. Whenever it felt too unbelievable that she loved you, whenever you became absolutely convinced that you’d tricked her or something, and tried to leave for her. She always convinced you to stay, because she knew you never really wanted to leave her. 
“It’s gonna be a lot.” You murmured, your hands finding their way to her waist, your body giving in before your brain did. “It’s gonna be really hard, especially with work.” 
“We can do it. Together.” Alexia promised, leaning forward to dust a kiss across the tip of your nose. “I love you. I’m not going anywhere. We’re going to do it together, okay? Don’t push me out. Please.” 
“Okay.” You allowed, finally giving in and leaning into her. She wrapped her arms around your body, squeezing so tight it almost hurt. 
“Promise me? No pushing me away.” She whispered into your ear. 
“I promise.” You breathed the words back, knowing, somehow, that you wouldn’t break this promise. Never before had you gone back on something you’d promised Alexia, and you didn’t intend to start now. 
The plane ride had been long, and though you were already exhausted, you hadn’t slept a wink. You were wide awake when the plane took off, and wide awake when it landed hours later. Some sleep would have really done you some good, but there was nothing to do about that now. 
It was really an amalgamation of all of your least favorite things. The social services office was just as bad as you remembered it. Just as… lonely, regardless of how incredibly crowded it was. It was overly beige, from the walls down to the outfit the woman sitting across from you was wearing. Susan. Even her name sounded beige. Then, there was the paperwork. An endless pile of it on the desk in front of you. Your hand was starting to cramp from signing, and all you wanted was to see Will. Physically see him, make sure he was okay. He was somewhere in this building, surrounded by strangers. It was impossible not to picture him, all small and scared in an office, wondering if you were really coming for him. 
You remembered that feeling. No one had ever come for you and Leo. 
But you were here for Will. You were here for him, and it didn’t matter too much that he barely knew you; at least, that's what you told yourself. 
You were his aunt that lived far away in Spain, that sent at least three presents for his birthday every year, and three more for Christmas. You talked to him on the phone every so often, and Leo liked to send a picture of Will wearing your kit every few months. He liked dinosaurs and crafts, and he adored your brother. Will’s mom had never been in the picture; you’d never met her, never even gotten Leo to tell you her name. It was just the two of them, and you knew it was hard. You didn’t know it was this hard for your brother, though. You’d have stepped in much sooner if you’d known. 
Signing the last piece of paper, you inhaled deeply and slid it back across the desk towards Susan. 
“Okay! That’s everything in order. It would be a lot more complicated if your brother hadn’t signed over his rights. Great foresight of him, to have the paperwork all ready!”
Yeah. Great foresight. Leo clearly possessed that. 
“I’ll go get Will! Like I said before, he’s been having a tough time, but the minute he arrived here he asked for you, telling us he was supposed to make sure that his Aunt came for him if anything ever happened to his Dad. I think he’ll settle once he finally sees you.” 
Susan smiled kindly, stepping away from the desk and briskly walking down the hall. 
The words settled something in you that worried Will wouldn’t want to go with you, while at the same time, making you so incredibly frustrated. Leo could make sure to prepare Will for this exact situation to occur, yet he couldn’t avoid committing felonies? 
Before you could think too hard about what to say or do, there he was. Walking slowly down the hall next to Susan, a blue dinosaur clutched tightly to his chest. His brown hair fell messily around his head, in a way that reminded you of your brother. He was small, wearing a sweatshirt and shorts and a pair of velcro shoes. Small and scared, his face creased with anxiety and fear, even as he approached you. 
“Here she is!” Susan said encouragingly, gently nudging Will closer when he came to a stop just in front of you. He was gazing up at you with wide, unsure eyes, and you could see tear tracks on his cheeks, his eyes red and puffy. He was so small. 
It was instinctual, something you didn’t even know you possessed that had you kneeling down and opening your arms. Will’s forehead un-creased just slightly, and he rushed forward, wrapping his arms tight around your neck. 
“Hey, buddy. Everything’s okay now. I’ve got you.” You whispered, holding tightly to the little boy that was clinging onto you as if you were the last stable thing in the world. And you supposed you were; in his world at least. 
Will exhaled shakily. For the first time in two whole days, he felt just a tiny bit safe. He didn’t know you well, granted, but his Daddy had always told him that if there was an emergency, to make sure to call you. He’d taught Will how to click your contact and call. Will hadn’t been sure you’d come. You lived far away, and he barely ever saw you. The two of you were strangers practically. But Leo had always told Will that you’d come for him if he needed you. And Leo had never broken a promise to Will before… Well not until the other day, he’d waited in the office at school for a whole hour after the bell rang. When someone came for him, it wasn’t his Dad. It was a police officer with a mustache and a mean face, and all Will could do was cry, and make sure that the police officer knew he had to call you. And though the details Will had been given were few, he knew his Dad had been bad and he was in trouble. Big trouble. The police officer had sounded all angry and stern when he’d told Will this, softening only slightly when Will asked when he’d get to see his Dad again.
The police officer hadn’t answered, instead telling Will that he was being taken to the social services office, where he’d wait to figure out what the next steps were. 
Will had waited for you, and even though the nice lady had told him you were coming, it took a while. More than one day, but he couldn’t quite remember. It felt like forever. 
But now you were here, and you’d given him a hug that felt like the hugs his Dad gave him, and he didn’t feel like he had to try to be brave anymore. Your arms didn’t loosen around him even as you stood up, and Will let himself relax. Just for a moment. 
“We going to Spain?” Will wondered, gripping two of your fingers when you held out your hand towards him. He trotted along next to you as you headed from the social services building down the block to your hotel. 
“Yeah. Barcelona.” You affirmed. Luckily, Will had been able to talk to Leo on the phone, and Leo told him what the plan was. 
“Bar-sa-lonuh? Or Spain?” 
“Barcelona is a city in Spain.” You clarified. “We’ll go there on a plane tomorrow morning.” 
“Is it a big plane?” 
“It’s a pretty big plane. Have you ever been on a plane before?” 
Will shook his head, brown curls blowing backwards slightly in the wind.
“It’ll be fun. We’ll get snacks and… pick out a few movies to watch. And you can sleep if you want to.” 
“Snacks and movies?” Will repeated. 
“Yes! Does that sound fun?” You tried to sound excited even though there wasn’t really anything you were dreading more than the long flight with a five year old. 
Will just shrugged, his hand tightening around your fingers. You shifted the strap of his big duffel bag so it was further up on your shoulder, stopping just outside the hotel and bending down so you were eye level with him. 
“I know it’s a lot of change, Will. And I know you don’t know me very well but–” 
“My Daddy said you’re nice. And that you’ll take good care of me.” Will whispered, tearing up as he remembered the phone call he’d gotten to have with his father this morning. Leo had called you right after, himself trying to hold it together as he explained he told Will that you were coming for him. 
“I’m going to do my very best to take good care of you. We’re gonna figure it out together, alright?” 
Will nodded slowly, taking a deep breath and rubbing at his eye with his fist. “Alright.” 
You figured that was the best you’d get, for now. 
“Tia?” Will whispered. You turned, finding him all tucked into one of the double beds, the covers pulled up to his chin. He was so small, the dinosaur pajamas he’d pulled out of his duffel bag a bit too big on him. ‘Dad said I’d grow into them if I ate my vegetables’, Will had said. Your brother was many things, and a good father was one of them. He was giving you a huge responsibility and huge shoes to fill. 
Refocusing on Will and not how much he looked like your brother, you smiled, walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed. 
“What’s up, buddy?” You asked, hesitating for a moment before reaching and out brushing one of his curls away from his face. His whole body relaxed at the motion, and he looked a bit more confident as he opened his mouth to speak again. 
“Do we have to go to Spain? We… we can’t stay here?” 
Your heart twisted in your chest. You thought of your brother's words on the phone the past few days. He’d repeated it a few times, as if knowing the doubt you’d carry. 
You can’t leave Spain. You have a career and a life there. Will speaks a bit of Spanish, and he’ll adjust. He needs to be with you, and you need to be where you’re going to be happy. That will be the best thing for him.
Leo spoke with a wisdom in his voice that used to infuriate you, but you’d decided to trust the big brother voice, this time. Because he was Will’s dad, and he knew what Will needed. 
“We have to go to Spain.” You confirmed. Will frowned, an unhappy look on his face that tore at your emotions. “I know, it’s going to be an adjustment. But your Dad told me to take you there, and he always knows best, right?” 
Will looked conflicted. “I like it here.”
“I know, I know you do.” You paused, thinking once again back to your brother's advice. 
Talk to him like he’s a person, not a baby. He’s a smart kid, he’ll understand. 
“I play football in Spain. It’s my job there, so that’s where we have to be for now. But you’ll like it, I promise. It’s warm and sunny and it has really good food. Alexia is there, and I know you’ll love her, and she’s so excited to meet you in person.” 
Thankfully, Will had met Alexia over facetime before, and knew that you were together. You didn’t have to introduce the idea to him, as he’d somehow already seemed to know it wouldn’t just be the two of you when you arrived in Spain. 
Will looked doubtful, and you could see the anxiety clearly written across his face. His features were so like Leo’s, and it was the same face your brother always had when he was nervous about something. The same face you had when you were nervous about something. 
“Why don’t you ask me questions about Spain? And I’ll answer them, and then you’ll know more before we get there.” 
Will was a talker, that much you knew. And so the questions began, about the food in Spain, about school in Spain, about the team you played for, and whether there were dinosaur toys there. Question after question, until you laid down on the bed next to him, eyes barely open. 
“Do you live in a house in Spain?” Will asked, his energy still in full force as he asked what felt like the 500th question of the evening. 
“An apartment, but you’ll have your own room.” 
“And Alexia lives there?” 
You nodded groggily. 
“Does she speak Spanish?” 
“She does, but she also speaks English.” 
Will hummed. “My Dad was teaching me some Spanish for when we met Alexia. He said your tia taught you both Spanish and that's why I call you tia because that’s Spanish for aunt.” 
At this, you cracked a smile, forcing your eyes open as you nodded. “That’s true. We lived with our tia for a while and she taught us Spanish.” 
“Is it hard to learn? I’m not very good.” Will wondered, his questions seemingly endless. 
“Mmm, not hard. You’ll pick it up quickly, especially at school and with Alexia helping you with it.” 
“Is she nice?” 
“She’s very nice.” You promised, eyes flying open when you realized you had a text from Alexia you hadn’t yet read or responded to. Will yawned hugely as you pulled your phone out of your sweatshirt pocket, and you smiled down at him again. 
“Go to sleep, buddy. I can answer more questions tomorrow.” 
With a small grunt of agreement and another yawn, he rolled over. Right into you, his head resting against your arm. It was indescribable, the soft feeling that filled your heart. Soft adoration, even as you stilled the left side of your body completely so as not to disturb him. 
You didn’t know much about kids, but it seemed you knew enough. For now. 
Finally, you opened Alexia’s text, tears pooling in your eyes as you read her words. 
Amor! I hope everything is going well. You’re doing great already, I am sure of it. I stopped at the store and got a few things for Will. You said he likes dinosaurs, sí?I love you, I’ll see you tomorrow. I can’t wait to hug you. 
God, you couldn’t wait to see her. It wasn’t very odd for the two of you to spend a night apart, but something about this felt different. You missed her deeply, fully, needed her to hold you and promise everything was going to be okay. The anxiety of how this whole new life would work was almost overshadowed by your excitement to see her again. 
Almost. 
Will was a pretty well behaved kid, you’d learned. Very sleepy when he woke up in the morning, but he snapped right out of it when you asked him what he wanted to download to watch on the plane. He very eagerly selected three disney movies, and you realized with a pang to your chest that all three were movies you and your brother had grown up on. 
All three were Leo’s favorites, if you remembered right. 
And now they were Will’s. 
Not being the biggest fan of crowds, the airport clearly made your nephew nervous. He fidgeted his little hands together, walking so close to you that he ran into you every time you stopped. His hand would dart out to grab onto the hem of your t-shirt whenever anyone got too close to him, and he almost cried when the security agent made him walk through the metal detector by himself. 
You figured this made sense, that after his whole world had been turned upside down, of course he’d attached himself onto the most stable thing he could find. That happened to be you. It was just… odd. Something you weren’t used to. The checklist you’d made on your phone helped, reminding you to ask Will if he had to go to the bathroom, if he was hungry or thirsty, if he had any more questions about the plane. It was more than terrifying, honestly, that you were suddenly fully responsible for this small boy. 
There was stress, of course. But there was also something so… incredibly different in the way Will pressed his face to the glass of the plane window, staring wide eyed as the plane took off. For every moment you worried you were messing up, even in the first 24 hours, there were 10 moments where Will rested his head against your shoulder or reached for your hand, or offered you one of his animal crackers with a smile that had you convinced that for your nephew, maybe you could do this. 
“I can walk, Tia.” Will mumbled, squirming slightly in your arms. 
You chuckled, rubbing his back softly. “It’s okay, buddy, it’s crowded and I know that makes you nervous.”  
You’d picked him up a moment ago, after noticing how terrified he looked at the massive crowds making their way through the airport. It was a struggle to wrangle both of your bags in one hand, while holding Will in the other, but you didn’t want him to be uncomfortable. You took two steps towards the exit before you had to stop and readjust, wishing you had another pair of hands here to help. 
Alexia had texted that she was there, and though you’d assumed that meant she was outside in her car, your eyes met hers across the bustling baggage claim before you had to take another step. 
Your whole body practically sagged with relief, your bags falling to the ground where you stood as Alexia made her way over to you both, a concerned and sympathetic smile on her face. 
“Mi amor,” she greeted, softly kissing your temple and pulling you into as much of a hug as she could manage with Will still in your arms. 
“Hi.” You choked out, almost in tears at the sight of her. Here, in front of you, at the perfect time. With a smile on her face, already reaching for your bags. 
“Hi, Will.” She said gently. 
Will peaked out from where his face had become hidden in your neck, relaxing a bit when he saw the semi familiar face. 
“Hi.” He whispered back, turning his face back in towards you and shutting his eyes. 
“He’s tired.” You explained, but Alexia just waved you off, beginning to lead you from the airport to the parking garage. It was much easier now that you only had to worry about carrying Will, who was quickly becoming dead weight in your arms as he drifted off. 
“Of course he is, it has been a long few days. I bet you’re exhausted too. We can go home and go right to sleep, sí? We can worry about anything else tomorrow.” 
You nodded your agreement, not even wanting to contemplate the state of your to do list at the moment, though it was getting harder and harder to ignore. 
As you arrived at the car, you shouldn’t have been surprised by the car seat perfectly installed in the back of Alexia’s car. You’d mentioned needing one to her, but for some reason… you half expected her to forget. Or get the wrong one. You weren’t sure why, but it was just something that you thought you’d have to do. 
Yet when you opened the door to the back seat, it was all done for you. The perfect size for Will, buckled in correctly and everything. You carefully deposited him in the seat and buckled him in, before turning to Alexia, once again with tears in your eyes. 
“Thank you for getting that.” You mumbled, shutting the car door as quietly as you could. 
“Of course.” Alexia said easily, her lips curving into a smile as she opened her arms for you. You practically collapsed into them, gripping tight to your girlfriend as she did the same to you. 
“I missed you so much.” You cried. 
“I missed you too, mi amor. You have no idea.” Alexia whispered back, her hand threading through your hair as she just held you for a moment. Eventually she leaned down to press her lips to yours. You kissed her back, taking in the feel of her hands as they cupped your jaw, her fading blonde hair tickling the side of your face. 
When you pulled back from the kiss, she was still gazing at you so lovingly it made your heart burst. 
“Let’s get you both home.” She suggested, and you nodded your agreement, needing nothing more than to be home in that moment. 
The relief you felt when you finally stepped back into your apartment wasn’t complete relief. Because you were home, but everything was different. There was a whole other person that had to fit into your life now, and you didn’t even know where to begin carving out a space for him. There was figuring out a school that could accommodate a five year old that spoke very little Spanish. Then there was finding childcare for when training didn’t perfectly align with school, or when the team was traveling. Would you bring Will with for away games? 
The issues you needed to address were seemingly endless, but most urgently was that the extra bedroom was not fit for a child. It had a double bed, which would work for now, but didn’t leave much room for anything else. What did a kid even need in his bedroom? 
Toys, of course. 
Books. 
A desk? 
A dresser? Or would the closet be enough? 
God he would need more clothes. 
And food that he'd like to eat. 
And shampoo and conditioner for kids. Those were different from adult hair products, right? 
That was most urgent, you decided. Making your home a home for him. 
“We should go shopping tomorrow.” You murmured, shifting Will in your arms a bit as you headed for the guest bedroom. He’d fallen asleep in the car and it was night, so it made sense for him to keep sleeping. 
What time did kids his age go to bed? 7? 8? You had no idea. Another question to answer. 
With a gentle hand on your back guiding you down the hall, Alexia hummed in agreement, but you missed the small smile on her face. “I bought a few things.” She reminded you. 
Your assumption was that a few things were a pair of pajamas, a new toy. A book, maybe? But when Alexia stepped around you to push the bedroom door open, your jaw dropped. 
A few things, apparently, was an entirely redecorated room. A beautifully redecorated room. The walls were no longer white; instead they were painted a soft green. A wooden twin bed sat in the corner, a green canopy hanging the tall headboard and footboard. The bed was covered in a green comforter, a soft throw blanket, and 4 different pillows. A long shelf sat just under the large window, filled with toys and books. There was a separate toy box next to the bookshelf, overflowing with even more toys; cars and books and dolls and stuffed animals. Everything. Wall decor, a rug, a dresser, a cozy chair in the corner next to a lamp. 
Alexia had thought of everything. And if you’d had any doubts about her dedication to this, to you, to Will, you no longer did. Alexia had done what you’d been too preoccupied to think of and made Will a space that was entirely his own, a place he could feel safe and comforted. She’d made your home his home without a second thought. 
Without a word, you walked further into the room, choking back a sob as you laid a still sleeping Will down carefully on the bed. He shifted in his sleep, snuggling close to the soft pillows as you draped the throw blanket over him. 
When you finally turned back towards your girlfriend, she was hovering in the doorway, chewing on her bottom lip as she gazed at you worriedly. 
“Too much?” She whispered. 
You barely held back the scoff that would have been much too loud, crossing the room quickly and throwing your arms around her. 
“No. Perfect. You're perfect. Thank you.” You mumbled into her neck, pressing kiss after kiss to the skin you found there. Alexia tightened her hold, walking the two of you backwards and out the door so you didn’t wake Will. 
“Are you crying?” Alexia asked, her thumb tracing across your cheek bone as she leaned back from your embrace. 
You sniffled pathetically, leaning back in to press your forehead to Alexia’s chest and steady yourself. 
“I was just so overwhelmed and you did this and it’s perfect Ale. Thank you. Thank you.” 
Alexia pressed a kiss to the top of your head, squeezing you tightly. 
“You don’t have to thank me. I promised, no? I’m here. We are doing this together.” 
“I love you.” You cried, overwhelmed with love and wonder at what an incredible person your girlfriend was. You’d already known, but she always found a way to surprise you, doing something so absurdly kind and thoughtful that you were struck all over again with how good she was. 
“I love you too.” Alexia replied, swaying the two of you back and forth gently. 
There were still a lot of unknowns. A lot of problems to solve and things to figure out. But you’d never been more sure that you could do it. It wasn’t ideal, but you had Alexia and that was certainly ideal. 
JUST finished this so PLEASE tell me if you catch a typo also planning more parts to this but i'm VERY open to ideas if you have them :)
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am-i-the-asshole-official · 7 months ago
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AITA for being honest about what I would change about my boyfriend?
🥊🥊
I’m a cis guy (22m) and I have a boyfriend that’s transgender (20m). We’ve been together for 2 years.
My boyfriend is a very cute guy and he gets hit on a lot in queer spaces tbh. even by lesbians, and they fully see him as a guy. He’s just very sweet and approachable I guess. A lot of people tell him he’s super attractive and I agree, but there are just certain things about his body that don’t appeal to me.
We were at a friend’s birthday party. People got drunk, I was tipsy. We played this game that was like cards with questions about relationships/love/intimacy on them and the whole group would discuss.
One of the questions was something along the lines of "If you could change anything about your partner, what would it be?" Or whatever.
Now, I went first and said I’d probably make him less hairy and get rid of the dark spots in his crotch area and his acne scars. He has some discoloration around his private areas from a rash he got when he was like 13 and some faint scarring from pimples I guess. It’s not an issue, but definitely not my preference. Plus he can’t really shave clean down there because he has thick hair and it always makes him get those razor burn bumps or whatever. Fine by me, he’s hot as hell either way.
Plus, he has a lot of discoloration around his shoulders, back, chest and face from severe acne outbreaks from his puberty and then later again when he started taking testosterone. It’s calmed down a lot, but the scarring is still very prominent. It’s not an issue, just not very pretty to look at.
Please don’t get me wrong. He’s an incredibly attractive person, I just wish his skin was a little prettier. It’s a bit of a turnoff, that’s all. It never stopped me from being absolutely enamored with him.
But when I explained this, a little less explicitly than this of course, the group went dead silent. Everyone was staring at me, some of the girls even clasped their hands over their mouths etc.
When I looked at my boyfriend he was completely pale and was just blankly staring at me before getting up and saying he needs to pee. I just said okay and then gave the card to the person next to me. She very quietly said she’d take away her girlfriend’s anxiety because it hurts her to see the person she loves like that. That’s when it sort of dawned on me that I messed up and that I was way out of line for saying these things in front of our friends.
He apparently left soon after that, which I only found out through a friend. I was a little confused but figured he was just a little embarrassed. We don’t live together, so it isn’t unusual for one of us to leave before the other. But then I found out that his best friend left with him because he was sobbing and couldn’t stop.
I tried calling him and texting him for multiple hours and didn’t want to overstep any boundaries by just popping up at his home, so I gave up and eventually went home. That was two days ago and I still haven’t heard from him. He’s usually a very clingy and noisy person and always sends me small updates throughout the day, but I haven’t heard anything from him the entire time.
I’m so scared. I love this guy so much, he’s the sweetest and the single most interesting person I’ve ever met in my life. I know he has a lot of severe insecurity issues around his body, especially regarding his scarring. But it’s all gotten a lot better in recent months and he even began to love how hairy he is because it makes him feel euphoric.
Now I can’t help but feel like I took that away from him because of some stupid game. But at the same time, I don’t think it was fair for him to just up and leave without talking to me. We could’ve talked it out and I just wish he would communicate with me.
I already know I was a bit out of line for this, but I just tend to be uncomfortably honest. He knows this and loves me for it, so I’m confused why he’s THIS upset about this one. He’s never gone this long without talking to me.
Am I the asshole? I was just playing the game. I don’t think it’s fair to call me cruel for this just because other people are scared to be honest and say shit like they’d take away their partner’s mental illness. It’s so fake and that shit just pisses me off. Everyone has something they would change about their partner’s appearance.
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xamag-draws · 7 months ago
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BBR thoughts 2024
Since I mentioned that I finally dusted off an old project of mine and was ruminating on how I'd remake it, I thought I'd elaborate a little, now that I've solidified some concepts. For funsies
This is gonna be a bit of a long and unfocused one, but I don't share my personal thoughts here often, especially the stuff about my projects I always marinate in. And for once it's something that people have existing context for, so hey why not
So for anyone who hasn't been following me for a gajillion years, The Black Brick Road of OZ was a webcomic that I posted around 2013-2015, back when I was in highschool going on college (which is kinda crazy to think about). It was sort of a darker twist on The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, although I definitely leaned a lot more into dark humor more than anything in those first few chapters
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I don't think it's available to read anywhere anymore, and I know people have been asking me about it. So here's the full proper archive of BBR, as full as it can be with deceased Flash
I totally used it as an excuse to shamelessly and self-indulgently experiment. It had interactive pages and GIFs and was wayyy too overproduced for what I could handle or what was necessary, but I did have great fun making it while it lasted
Unfortunately, that excess and the fact that I've changed too much as a person by the time I was in college is what ultimately killed it. The direction I wanted to go in was practically unrecognizable from the original idea started back in 2011, so there were many old hold-ups that I felt ruined it
At the time I kinda wished I could start/rewrite it all over, but considering that I pretty much had the entire script done at that point, it felt like a pointless sisyphean task. So I just put it on a shelf and didn't look back for about 8 years, because I didn't know what else to do
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Now to be fair, the nature of my art has always been iterative and cyclical; when I feel like my creative juices have run dry I prefer to leave a project to marinate and move on to something else; cycle through other old things and bring in new skills and perspectives into the mix when I'm ready again. Not very productive, but it is what makes me happy to work on my OCs; I'm doomed to hit a wall with them eventually and I need some time to be able to find a new direction
So that said, I'm glad that BBR was left to marinate for that long. I don't think I was prepared, emotionally or intellectually, to tackle it again until now. The Wizard of Oz book (and the entire series of them, really) has always been near and dear to my heart, but there's a lot of context around it that I'm only unpacking now that I'm older
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I think I always inherently feel negatively about the stuff I've made in the past, like its faults always jump out to me more than the positives, especially the more time passes. I've never liked that, and I do really appreciate the kind things people have to say about BBR to this day. The fact that it still can be recognized and remembered is very sweet
When I left it, I already found it "kinda cringe", and that feeling only deepened with years. When I took my first look back at it, asking the question "how would I rewrite it now?", at first I took a very cynical approach, as in "everything would have to be torn down"
But the more I sat on it, the more I found that I still see some merit and charm in the ideas I was putting out; I just didn't know how to execute them at the time (not to pretend that I know what I'm doing now, but I certainly know more at least). Turns out a lot of my old concepts could be changed substantially with just a few small tweaks. So I'd say that's a nicer way to think about my previous work
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If you haven't seen yet, I posted a first draft of my new designs for some of the characters (the main group, the Goods and the Wickeds). Definitely subject to change, but more or less how I see them now
I'm just playing with these concepts; by no means would I attempt to remake BBR right this moment. Call it a pipe dream among my other ones. But just for fun, this is the direction I'd like to take:
Nowadays I'd probably make it a visual novel, with more emphasis on the visual part than the novel because I'm no English prose writer by any means. It'd still let me play a little with the interactivity while helping cut some corners on the drawing part (only some, I imagine I'd go hog wild anyway)
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I've always intended for some events inspired by the sequel books to take place in BBR's past. Stuff like Jinjur's revolt or Ozma's rule preceeds the main events here. So I think it would be fun to follow the past of a few key characters alongside the main story. One chapter focusing on the present quest to see the Wizard, then one focusing on the past events (that are maybe reflective thematically); rinse and repeat
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I'm also sticking a little closer to the original text in some regards. Not everything that I enjoy from the books would be translated here, it's still just a very loose fantasy on the material; but I'd like to be closer in spirit at least
I like mature, wise and powerful Glinda, I like kind and vulnerable Tin Man, I like the Wizard being a pathetic yet loveable liar, so I'm sprinkling in more of that for example
I'd like to keep some whimsy, but make it more grounded and a bit more serious to be coherent in tone. I think the original TWWOOZ book was a more realistic fantasy in some ways, even for the standards of the time; I like its simple but vivid tactile descriptions and details like bringing attention that Dorothy needed to eat and sleep
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I find it funny that Baum specifically was averse to making his books scary or unpleasant, finding that unnecessary for telling a compelling kids story, but they still can get pretty dark and disturbing, at least for our modern sensibilities. Let's just say that I intend to use the Evoldo and Chopfyt storylines for my purposes. In that way, I feel like a "darker" Wizard of Oz retelling can still mostly be tonally in line with the original and balance it with enough heart and occasional humor
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I slowly grew to appreciate the quaint old-timey quality of the original series, as well. The first book is both timeless and very much a product of the 1900s. Originally I tried to give it a little modern or at least anachronistic spin, but it was moreso because it's what I knew best, so these days I'd rather intentionally lean into the time period. Still not fully historically accurate by any means, but at least directly acknowledging the influence
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The events of the story span across 40 years of these characters' lives, so I'm drawing inspiration from the entire so-called La Belle Epoque: the time period around 1880s-1920s. Basically I'm cooking, and my soup is old Victorian fashion morphing into Edwardian fashion and slowly inching towards flappers
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Some new Dolly outfits
Lots of crazy things, political changes and innovations were happening at the turn of the century, which I think is noted and reflected by Baum in the books as well; the character of Tik-Tok might not blow any minds now, but he was one of the first robot characters in literature at that point; and don't even get me started on Jinjur, etc. Plenty of really interesting stuff one could lightly ponder in an Oz adaptation these days
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Aesthetically, art nouveau has always been a big artistic influence for me, and it'd definitely be its time to shine here. John R. Neill's illustrations of the Oz books often keep me company as well. Nouveau architecture in particular fits that fairytale whimsy extremely well imo
I'd allow myself a little bit of art deco here and there, but ultimately its intimidating geometrical splendor is an antithetical to the flowery nature of nouveau and I associate it with a completely different era. Definitely fitting some characters like my Wicked Witch of the West, but shouldn't be overused
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One of my main problems with the original BBR was that eventually I lost track of what it was even about; and the original ending felt too mean and unfulfilling to be worth it. Now I'd like to stick to the theme of home and family as my main theme, but in a different, more bittersweet way than in the book
An interesting connection I made is that a lot of my aforementioned older key characters (the Witches, Jinjur, the Nome King, etc) all came from the same reformatory as kids, that's how they know each other. In my recent research I learned that in those reformatories it was usually frowned upon to release the children back to the families, which were seen as the original corrupting influence regardless of the circumstance. The reformatory did everything in its power to cut that connection and make itself the only family those wayward kids were supposed to know and love. That's an unexpected tie into the theme of home that I'd like to explore as well
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So yeah that's the current state of it. I have a bunch of outfit concepts I'm slowly cooking, although I'm now sure whether I'd post them... But I do miss these funny guys, and I'm glad some people still do as well :)
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cheezeybread · 5 months ago
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I've been seeing concept on my feed lately so I have to ask: Jamil taking his lover's last name when they get married. I've been seeing arguments on how this could actually free him since he technically wouldn't be a Viper anymore. So can I have headcanons for this scenario? Also how happy does he get when he's called Mr.L/N?
I've never really thought about it, but that's a pretty good point...poor Jamil needs all the good stuff he can get in this life TwT
𝐆𝐍 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐉𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥 (𝐞𝐱)𝐕𝐢𝐩𝐞𝐫! :𝐃 𝐅𝐭: 𝐉𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥, 𝐨𝐛𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐥𝐲
┏━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━┓
He never figured that there could be so much freedom in marriage. In all honesty, he had never really considered marriage an option for him. In Jamil's opinion, marriage was for the wealthy, those who could easily afford to have so many children and not worry about feeding them. He saw how hard his parents worked day in and day out serving Kalim's family, all so they could afford to live.
It was honestly one of the things he grew to resent Kalim's family for. They had it so easy, and they didn't even appreciate it!
And, why would Jamil want to bring a child into this world only to have them indebted to the family he himself has slaved for his entire life??
Marriage was a snake pit, and Jamil knew how to avoid those all too well.
Well, but then he met you. To be honest, Jamil never looked twice at you, assuming that you were one of those stuck-ups who enjoyed everyone's attention. But after his overblotting incident, he began to see you in a new light. You weren't craving attention. You were simply being kind. And generous. And you were oh so smart, and gorgeous...
Before he knew it, he was head over heels with you, and a relationship blossomed.
Despite his uneasiness around marriage, Jamil couldn't stand to not have you permanently bound by his side, his love for you written down on an official certificate.
You knew good and well why he was so anxious about the marriage ordeal, so a few weeks before the wedding, you went to Azul to ask him his personal opinion on the matter. After a few hours of consultation (which was, surprisingly, free! Azul said to consider it a wedding gift!), a solution was found. If Jamil took your last name, then he wouldn't legally be a part of the Viper family anymore, and therefore wouldn't be in servitude to the wealthy family of Kalim.
You presented it to Jamil with excitement, and he joined in with your happiness, although he was still a little uneasy on how to tell his parents about it
In the end, you two decided not to tell his family until the day of the wedding.
"Jamil Viper, I hereby bound you eternally to (Y/N) (L/N), to stick together for all the time in this world. You may now kiss to solidify your bond," The priest said with a loving smile, looking at the two of you like a father looks upon his child with pride "Ladies and Gentlemen, may I now introduce you to the newly wedded couple...Jamil (L/N) and (Y/N) (L/N)
Jamil's family wasn't too happy about the name change, but what could they do?? Absolutely nothing! His mother especially was upset, and pulled Jamil aside to hiss at him about how he's disgracing their family and practically shoving the Al-Asim family's face with rotten dung
HOWEVER, Kalim showed up to save the day (of course he was there! Even if he wasn't invited...he still would find a way to invite himself), informing Jamil's mother that his family was overjoyed at Jamil's decision, and wished him all the best luck in his newfound life and marriage.
Jamil's mother shut up real nicely after that.
And, after this situation, Jamil saw Kalim in a new light, untainted by his servitude to the boy. The two of them slowly became actual friends!
And for the first month after the wedding, Jamil's face would light up with an insane amount of joy whenever someone called him by his full name, proud of sharing a last name with you.
Even several years after the wedding, you can still see the sparkle in his eyes over it all.
It was the right decision, for sure
┗━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━┛
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xlatiwritesx · 9 months ago
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hi there hope you're having a great day! it's my first time requesting in general and was wondering if i can request lando norris imagine? after both him and the reader decided to hard launch on social media, he brought her to the race for the 1st time and fans absolutely adore her in general. hope this makes sense thank you sm! (reader is a very private person in general)
Mine, Not Theirs | LN4
A/N: sorry if it took me long, but thank you for this request, Anon! This is so cute 😞❤️‍🩹. I hope you like it!!
Genera: Fluff
Words: 1.9K
Pairing: Lando Norris x Fem!Reader
"OH MY GODDDDD"
"So she is the one"
"Now we know the reason behind all the smiles during this season's races"
You smiled at all the comments left under Lando's post. You were sat on your hotel room’s bed, hugging your knees and smiling like an idiot at your phone for the past hour.
"Had I known you'd be smiling like this, I would've hard launched us sooner" you heard him speak, but your eyes kept staring at your picture that he posted. The picture that sent the internet into a spiral.
It was simple, you kissing Lando where you assumed his lips would be under his helmet, holding the sides of it. It was all loud and clear. Your smile on your exposed face, his name and number on the helmet. His McLaren suit. It was all out for the world to see, and it made your heart twist in the happiest ways.
"Hey, so" Lando walked closer to you, resting down on the edge of the bed and finally having your attention.
"Now that the whole world knows, I want you to come to races with me, starting with tomorrow’s" he confessed. Your smile slowly faded and you looked away from him.
He knew proposing such a thing when you've just publicized your relationship wouldn't be easy for you. You weren't the most outgoing or the best at dealing with all the press and fame that came from being with someone like Lando.
You looked back at him and saw him already losing hope. You had to try. He deserved at least that. He's been nothing but respectful and supportive of your wishes to keep your relationship private, but now things changed. You wanted to try for him just like he did for you.
"Okay" you said simply, not tearing your eyes from him to watch his reaction. He looked at you blankly.
"Wait, really?" A smile broke on his face. You nodded.
"Like 'hey guys this is the love of my life joining me for today's race' okay?" He asked again, carefully. You laughed and nodded again to reassure him.
"Yes!" He punched the air and you stood up, still laughing.
"Finally" he spread his arms, looking up at the ceiling.
After enjoying Lando's little celebration, you ran to your suitcase. You had to find something to wear. This was the first time anyone would see you. Not to mention the entire world.
A dress? Pants and a shirt? Classy? Casual?
You sat in the pile of your clothes, finding something suitable. Your eyes landed on a white top. Denim mini skirt. You narrowed your eyes. Smiled.
"These two with Lando’s McLaren bumper jacket" you announced to no one but yourself.
The next day, you started getting ready for the race. You curled your hair, did your light make up to perfection, and put on the outfit you picked out the night before.
You got in the car with Lando who was fully aware of your nerves ever since you woke up. He held your hand and that was enough to boost your confidence.
When you reached the circuit, your heart began beating at a dangerous speed. Lando's hand tightened around yours and he looked at you before getting out of the car. You could already see the many reporters there to document everyone's arrival. Your breath got heavier.
"Hey. Eyes on me, okay?" Lando whispered softly. You looked into his eyes and relaxed a little.
"No matter what anyone writes on those stupid platforms, you're mine, not theirs, okay? I'm proud you're the one I'm brining to today's race" he reassured you, hoping it would make you feel even more relaxed. He knew what it was like to be under the spotlight and having his every move scrutinized. It can get hard at times.
You smiled and looked down. He kissed your cheek before opening the car door, the commotion outside no longer muffled.
"Let's go" he ushered and you followed. Still holding his hand.
Even though it was very much light out, the camera flashes were still blinding. You kept your head down because it would've been overwhelming to look straight ahead. You held on to Lando's hand as he lead you to the paddock.
Once inside, you finally look up at the many faces there. Drivers, their families, managers, friends, girlfriends.
Some smiled. Some scrutinized. One Aussie accent cheered.
"Hey!" He greeted excitedly, opening his arms wide to give you a hug. You quickly let go of Lando's hand and hug Oscar.
"It's finally good to see you here" he said excitedly when you pull away. You smiled at him, eternally grateful for making you feel so welcome.
"Thanks, Oscar" you replied shyly. You could feel Lando beaming next to you.
"He goes crazy when you're not around. All he talks about is you. Hopefully he won’t be so annoying today since you’re here" he lowers his voice, playfully punching his teammates arm next to you. You laugh.
Oscar starts talking to Lando about the track and what to be expected. Lando wraps an arm around your waist and you listen to them talk.
It's a miracle that you were actually into the races and Formula 1 in general. You wouldn't have lasted too long with Lando if you weren't. It was his career after all, so naturally it was what he talked about most.
“Okay. We gotta get to the cars now. Shit’s about to get serious” Oscar clapped. Lando nodded and looked at you.
“You’ll be good here? Or you want to watch the race in the garage?” He asked you gently. You looked around at the drivers leaving, all their friends and family choosing to stay at the paddock. You turned to him and smiled.
“I’ll be fine around here. Maybe get to know some new people” you told him and he nodded letting go of your hand to hold your face and kiss you cheek.
You blushed as he walked away, turning to wave at you one last time.
“Take care, Lan!” You yelled and he turned to face you, walking backwards for a few steps.
“Anything for you, my love!” He shouted back, causing people to look. Your heart raced, but your eyes were only on him as he turned back around to continue walking next to Oscar.
You sigh, hoping people would actually be nice. Walking around the paddock, you feel someone tap your shoulder. You turn quickly, faced with a girl a little too pretty.
“First time around here?” She asks. You smile and nod.
“Great! I get to show you around!” She says excitedly, pulling your arm and walking inside.
You’re welcomed by about 5 more faces around a table. People your age. Girls. You felt overwhelmed by their stares, but you promised to give this whole thing a chance.
“We’ve got a McLaren girlfriend everyone!” She announces and everyone starts cheering. You laugh at how silly it seemed, yet so sweet.
“I’m Lily by the way, your co-McLaren-girlfriend” she finally introduces herself. Your smile widens, feeling a sense of belonging somehow.
Lily guides you to the table with five chairs already occupied, you and her filling the sixth and seventh spots. Everyone seemed to be your age. Maybe one or two years younger or older.
“First race nerves?” Another girl asked, taking a sip from her glass. You nodded, still smiling.
“We were all there. It all seems intimidating at first, the cameras, the questions, the race itself!” Another one continued. You frowned a little, nodding along.
You realized you hadn’t said a single word. You really weren’t the best at small talk, but you owed it to them to at least say a yes or no.
“I’m Y/N, by the way” you said finally and they all smiled, acknowledging that new piece of information.
“You should he added to our group chat. We find each other every race day, catch up and have some free food, you know” Lily nudged you and you laughed a little. You hand her your phone, allowing her to do whatever.
When she hands it back to you, you see that you’ve been added to a group chat titled “the gas station ⚡️”. You frown in confusion and look up at them.
“The gas station?” You raise a brow and some of them laugh.
“We give them fuel, now don’t we girls?” One of them raised her brow and you just covered your face and laughed. A little too hard.
“We’ve got the same sense of humor. We’ll go a long way” a girl on your right patted your back as you collected yourself.
“Ugh” you sigh, finally able to hold in your laughter.
When the race starts, you come completely undone. Screaming with everyone and hugging anyone around when necessary. Lando finishes with P-3 and you couldn’t wait to celebrate that with him at the podium.
“You get to celebrate on the podium!” Some of the girls scream and it was just then that you realize how amazing this whole experience has been.
These girls have never met you in their lives, your boyfriend just won against all their boyfriends and they had every reason to be full of themselves, but they were nothing but sweet and lovely to you, making you feel so welcome and for the first time ever since you started dating Lando, you find someone who’d be as excited for him as you. Because they know what’s it like to watch the love of your life win at something he’s passionate about.
“Go go go!” They push you out so you could get to the podium for celebration.
You all get to the track to celebrate with your significant others. You spot a pretty face and curly hair in the crowd. For once, you really don’t care that everyone’s watching. That this could be on live television. You just run, jumping in his arms. He holds you tightly, spinning you around as his sweet laughter fills your ears, muting any other possible sound around you.
When Lando finally puts you down, you basically scream in his face.
“P-3, Lan! That was amazing!” He laughs at your reaction and you laugh with him.
“I knew you were here. I couldn’t let you down” he says and you hug him tightly. He hugs you back.
“You’re my everything. I do this for you” he says, only loud enough for you to hear. You close your eyes, praying your heart won’t explode from pure happiness and content.
Had you just known how amazing everyone would be, you would’ve come sooner. Had you known how much it meant to Lando, you would’ve come even sooner.
You pull away and kiss him, making up for all the time you spent feeling nervous. For not shouting about this from the rooftops. For staying behind on all the fun and welcoming, lovely souls you you met today.
“It seems that today’s race gets a fairytale ending for Lando Norris and his girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N”
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lecsainz · 1 year ago
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Kk! So I absolutely loved your last piece about Carlos and the heiress!reader, and I have to agree I really really love those blended fics. Something about them just hits different ya know? And then I saw this post https://www.tumblr.com/monzabee/729167936518012928 and was like god I wish someone still wrote for kimi. And then off I’m scrolling through your blog and I see that ask were apparently you do?? Like holy shit bestie! This is like the greatest day ever! So all of that to say will you please please right something that involves the video from that post?? Pretty please??
MELTING THE ICEMAN
parings: kimi räikkönen x wife!reader
author 🗒️’s: my heart melted writing this, I hope it turned out as you want, love
summary: the one where you see your husband taking care of your son and feel that you couldn’t be happier as you are.
✩. . . masterlist !
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Kimi Räikkönen, the Iceman of Formula 1, had always been known for his stoic and unemotional demeanor on the race track. But at home, in the quiet moments, he transformed into a different person entirely. There was a side of him that very few people got to see, a side that was incredibly warm, loving, and tender.
One sunny afternoon, the two of you sat in the cozy living room, surrounded by the soft laughter and gurgles of your 6-month-old son, Jake. Kimi held the baby in his arms, cradling him gently as he made funny faces to elicit the most delightful giggles from your little one.
Kimi leaned down, his lips brushing against Jake's plump, rosy cheeks. "Who's the happiest baby in the world, huh?" he cooed, his Finnish accent making it all the more endearing.
Jake's response was a chorus of delighted baby laughter, a sound that could melt the coldest of hearts. You watched in awe as your husband continued to play with Jake, making silly noises and pretending to nibble on his tiny fingers. It was a side of Kimi that you fell in love with all over again, a side that he reserved for his family.
"Kimi," you whispered, unable to contain your fondness, "you are the best dad in the world."
Kimi looked up from Jake's little face, his azure eyes meeting yours. A small, warm smile graced his lips, a rare sight for the world but a daily occurrence in the privacy of your home. "I learned from the best," he said softly, referring to you.
You couldn't help but blush at the compliment. Kimi's transformation into a devoted father had surprised you, but it had also filled your heart with an indescribable joy. His dedication and love for Jake were unmistakable, and you couldn't have asked for a better partner to share parenthood with.
As the day continued, you both took turns caring for Jake, feeding him, changing his diapers, and watching him drift off to sleep in his crib. Every moment felt like a cherished memory in the making, and you couldn't help but daydream about the future.
When Kimi returned to the living room after putting Jake down for his nap, he found you deep in thought. You looked up at him with a dreamy smile, and he knew you were up to something.
"Darling, what's on your mind?" he asked, settling beside you on the couch.
You took his hand and interlaced your fingers. "Kimi, I was just thinking about how wonderful this is—our little family. I love watching you with Jake, and I can't help but wonder… I want more of these moments. I want more children with you."
Kimi's typically cool exterior cracked, and he looked at you with a mix of surprise and delight. "More children?" he repeated, as if the idea had never occurred to him before. But the spark of warmth in his eyes revealed that he was just as excited by the prospect.
You nodded, your heart pounding with anticipation. "Yes, more children. I want to see you as a father again and again, to have more of these beautiful moments with you."
A slow, genuine smile spread across Kimi's face, and he pulled you into a loving embrace. "I'd love that," he said, his voice filled with emotion. "I love you, and I love our family. Let's make more beautiful memories together."
The two of you sat there, lost in the prospect of a larger, even more joyful family. Kimi held you close, and you knew that your dreams were aligned. It was a beautiful day of laughter, love, and dreams for the future, all in the gentle embrace of your husband and your precious son, Jake. The Iceman had certainly melted, and you couldn't have been happier about it.
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thetravelingmaster · 5 months ago
Text
Short Story: Choosing Enthralment
Male's point of view - Hypnosis - Brainwashing - Conditioning
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“That’s it… Just sink deeper and deeper into trance… Deeper and deeper into blissful surrender … Deeper and deeper into thoughtless obedience…”
I’m not completely convinced, even though I explained it to her multiple times, that she fully understood what she was agreeing to when we negotiated the terms and limits of her hypnotic submission to me. There was no intent to trick her on my part because I was very clear about what I wished to achieve with her if she wished to dive into my control.
“Deeper and deeper… Reaching a place with no will of your own… No thoughts of your own… Sinking into blissful nothingness… Open and obedient… Letting go of everything inside your mind except the will of your Master.”
Saying she understood everything we talked about, she agreed to let me use hypnosis to conquer her mind and bend her to my will. She agreed that I could use any means available to make me her Master in her eyes. She was so eager… Excited and aroused by the idea of being brainwashed like one of those cartoon characters that ignited her kink when she saw them helplessly mind controlled as a teen.
“Feel my words reach into your mind… Expertly soothing you as they take hold of the mental collar that completely controls you… Completely commands you… That makes your mind… And your body… My property…”
Did she think hypnosis would be 100% effective with such an eager mind as hers? Did she believe that deep down, she wouldn’t truly be claimed and would simply play along to experience her kink? She was adamant that she knew it was real and that if I was good enough, she would truly be brainwashed.
I guess I still can’t quite believe that a young perky girl like her would so eagerly give up her freedom to become brainwashed and enslaved.
“Sinking deeper still… Sinking into the depths of your true self… Sinking to a place where my words can reshape your mind… Your thoughts… Your beliefs… You understand and embrace that deep down… At the core of your being… You are no longer a real person… You are the organic object I own and completely control… You exist to serve and obey…”
I took things slow of course…
Allowing her many opportunities to speak up and change her mind… Test her limits….
But with every session, she grew more and more excited by the results and the pleasure it gave her to let go and surrender to my will. So with every session, I accepted her submission by sinking my control ever deeper within her mind until one day, she realized that she no longer saw herself as an independent person, but as my helpless thrall.
It was so fascinating to watch her get so intensely aroused by the notion that when it came to my dominance and use of her, she no longer felt like she had a choice.
And by then, with the exception of her safe word, she really didn’t have a choice…
“Everything you are is mine to command and enjoy… Your mind is utterly open to my will… Easily changed and programmed for your Masters’s pleasure… Your body is a helpless tool that exists entirely to serve and please your Master…”
Up until a few weeks ago, she had been my thrall only when we met up or did online calls, but then she surprised me by asking, out of the blue, if I would consider letting her move in with me so she could be mine full time. I initially refused and told her to take the time to truly understand what she was asking. Which she supposedly did…
Her request didn’t waver one bit so I agreed to let her live with me for one week so she could really experience what it would mean to live with me. To be sure she understood, I was a lot harsher than usual with her and constantly tranced her or ordered her to do the most menial things that were clearly not erotic. I truly treated her like an object and to my surprise, the more I did the hornier she got.
“You are my hypnotic thrall… My obedient slave… You have no choice but to obey your Master… You cannot resist the words of your Owner… You are an object of pleasure… A warm enthralled sleeve for your Master’s cock… You exist to serve his pleasure whenever and however he wishes…”
I’d be lying if I said that our whole situation didn’t make me as excited and eager as her. Especially after that ‘trial week’ where I got to enjoy my very own live-in hypno-thrall and sex slave. It was clear we both wanted this so I felt bad for sticking to the high road by constantly telling her that she needed to take it slow and think about it.
As much as I insisted though, she insisted even more that she was eager to fully give herself to me and decided to prove it to me by offering me a special week living with her. Like the week before, she would live with me but unlike the previous week, I couldn’t hypnotize her or use any triggers on her. She wanted to prove to me that she was just as willing to serve me even if there was no hypnotic compulsion to force her to do so.
I obviously agreed and was just as commanding and harsh with her as I was the week before. I treated her like the slave she wanted to be and enjoyed her as much as I could without once feeling her resist or hearing her complain.
After such a wonderful show of devotion, I couldn’t keep denying her so I finally agreed to let her move in with me full time.
“Good… Very good… Now my dear… When I say the words ‘Awaken to your purpose’… Your mind will shift from deep trance to a state of waking trance… Your awareness will awaken, but you will not have the ability to think… You will stay perfectly mindless… Perfectly docile and kneel before me… You will have no other thought except your desire to serve my pleasure…”
Admittedly, her hypnotic subjugation reached new heights after that and if it wasn’t for the safe word I buried deep in her psyche, I’m pretty sure there’s no longer any tangible way for her to escape my control. I’ve given her exactly what she wished for and now, she truly believes, with all her aroused little heart, that she is nothing more than my property.
She’s allowed me to own every single inch of her and in so doing, gave me free rein on how I use her for my pleasure and service. Thanks to her daily files, she’s constantly compelled to perform her daily chores, keeping herself healthy and alluring. She has edged herself until her body could keep itself constantly aroused so that I may enjoy her pussy at a moment’s notice. She’s trained her mouth and throat every day so that she can properly suck my cock and fully deep-throat my modest girth.
Her whole life has become a carefully constructed series of trances and compelled tasks that effectively prevents her mind from thinking about anything except the moment she is in. No confusing or worrisome memories of the past to cause her stress… No anxious thoughts about what the future may or may not hold…
And since every moment of her life is filled with constant arousal and pleasure, her mind has zero desire to do anything except dive deeper into her present life of mind controlled service.
I still make a point to check in with her after she’s spent a few days free of trances or compulsion, but by now her new life has been so thoroughly conditioned into her mind by now that even awake and free from suggestions, she doesn’t want to be anything else. She’s as happy as a girl like her could possibly be and no one is able to convince otherwise.
I’m still convinced she didn’t quite understand what she was asking me to do to her, but since I gave her every opportunity and warning so she could keep her freedom, I’ve decided that I’m going to keep enjoying her until the day her safe word triggers. I’ll trust in her deep self to know when she’s had her fill of mindless servitude even though part of me thinks she never will and I’ll be able to keep this wonderful girl in a constant state of enthrallment and sexual servitude.
Or is that my own selfish hope?
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vixstarria · 9 months ago
Text
The Sheath of Frontiers
So, in light of the disparity between the amount of Wyll content compared with the other companions, I felt it would be prudent for my Tav and Astarion to seduce him. Enjoy!
AO3
Astarion x F!Tav x Wyll
18+, humour, smut, threesome, soft dom/service top Astarion, sub/bottom Wyll, Tav and Astarion are both little shits, anal etc
This is probably more really lewd and descriptive comedy than erotica, you have been warned.
Approx. 3,400 words (gods, these things just keep getting longer and longer)
Written in 3rd person, and Tav's name is... *drumroll* Tav. Hey, I don't know who you want to relate to here, take your pick.
Tav, Astarion and Wyll occupied a booth at the Elfsong. They were the last ones still up drinking after a long day roaming the city. 
“But don’t you ever feel... tempted?” Astarion threw Wyll a sultry look from beneath his eyelashes, circling the rim of his wineglass with one finger.  
Tav had been watching the subtle seduction show unfold for the past while. She wasn’t sure whether Wyll was oblivious to Astarion’s flirtation, or impervious to it, but either way, the man would not budge.  
“Call me a hopeless romantic, but I want the moment to be special for my one and only. Anticipated. Meaningful. And what could hold more significance than waiting until after marriage vows?” Wyll answered. 
“Yes, yes, you are ever the romantic hero and want to make it ‘special’ for your chosen one, blah blah...” Astarion rolled his eyes, sipping his wine spiked with Tav’s blood. “But you’ve admitted you’re no virgin, it’s not as though you’re ‘saving yourself’ for anyone. What about casual no strings encounters? Simple carnal lust, for hells’ sake!” 
“You never know when or where you might find true love. Wouldn’t want to accidentally spoil it from the beginning,” Wyll said, with a smile and a head shake. 
Astarion threw a quick look of pure vexation at Tav, as she tried to hide her laugh behind her own goblet. She’d told him he wouldn’t be able to crack the ‘Blade of Frontiers’ - something he took as a personal challenge.  
“Hmm... You know, you should marry us!” Astarion suddenly exclaimed. “I would make an exemplary spouse for a duke! You should see me entertain at balls. Tav might be found to be acceptable as well, after a good scrub.” 
Tav threw a piece of pie crust at Astarion in response. 
“We wouldn’t accept your proposal without a test ride, though,” Astarion warned.  
“What, marry both of you? ...First of all, polygamy is not legal.” Wyll seemed a bit thrown off by the sudden change in the direction of the conversation.  
“So make it legal, the reigns of power are in your hands. Or will be,” Astarion shrugged. 
“Astarion, we both know the entire legal system would collapse if polygamy was to be permitted officially. Can you imagine all the complications? Especially all the implications it would bear for noble families and their hereditary lines of succession,” the future Duke Ravengard rambled.  
“I see what you’re saying, and I agree, but there could be a provision to allow persons who are unable to produce heirs to marry into the noble families as secondary spouses,” Astarion countered. “And you could always implement obligatory prenuptial agreements to simplify asset division.” 
Tav screamed inwardly: once Astarion started talking legalese the only way to get him to shut up was by literally occupying his mouth with something else, one way or another. 
Meanwhile, Wyll shook his head. 
“That would only serve to provide obligation-free unfair advantage to such persons,” he said. “It is nothing but furthering nepotism.” 
“I see nothing wrong with persons gaining unfair advantage, as long as I am those persons,” Astarion parried. 
“I could marry Tav and provide you with some kind of concubine status, if you wish,” Wyll suggested. 
“Not interested,” Astarion scoffed, sipping his wine. “I’m afraid we’re a package deal.” 
Tav groaned in frustration and got up.  
“I’ve had enough of this. Wyll, you don’t need to worry about spoiling any 'precious moments’ here - neither Astarion nor I have any interest in letting you make honest people of us anyway.” 
“Speak for yourself,” Astarion muttered with a huff, sipping more of his wine. 
“Shut up, Astarion,” Tav threw. “I’m going upstairs, and I, for one, intend to fuck this vampire before the night is over. Are you coming with us or not?” 
Astarion choked on his drink. If this was all it would take to lure the Blade into their bed – Tav would never let him live it down. 
“I uh... I must confess – I have never done that before,” Wyll said, visibly flustered. 
“What, fuck a vampire? Most people haven’t.” Tav shrugged. 
“Not that either, but what I meant was... be intimate with a man,” Wyll forced out. 
He jumped a little as he suddenly found Astarion’s lips a hair’s breadth away from his ear. He hadn’t noticed the vampire inching closer to him. 
“Would you like to..?” Astarion purred. 
“It’s nothing you haven’t done yourself hundreds of times, what’s so shameful and difficult?” Tav teased. 
“That's not true,” Wyll protested.  
Tav tilted her head and shot him a look that said ‘oh please’. 
“No, I mean that. Ever since I... entered that contract, I’ve hardly ever indulged. Never know when she might be watching. ...Doesn’t your patron ever watch as well..?” 
“Sometimes...” Tav mused. “But after a while it’s like fucking with a cat in the room. You learn to ignore it. As long as it doesn’t jump on the bed and sniff your asscrack while you’re in the middle of it, it’s fine.” 
“Ahem,” Astarion cleared his throat. “Can we please concentrate on the matter at hand?” 
Astarion sat on the edge of the bed in full naked glory as Tav, also in a state of almost total undress, sat behind him, resting her chin on his shoulder, one arm wrapped around his waist, the other stroking his cock.  
Meanwhile, Wyll perched on the opposite edge of the bed, trying to look anywhere but at the couple in front of him.  
“Eyes down here, darling,” Astarion drawled. “If Miz-” 
“Don’t say her name!” 
“If that skank decides to show up, she’ll get more than she’s bargained for.” 
Wyll finally allowed himself to gape openly at the scene in front of him.
Astarion’s cock was surprisingly thick and veined, and flushed at the tip. Perhaps it was the only part of him that could be flushed with blood. Wyll tried, habitually, to distract himself from his own arousal with thoughts of the workings behind vampire erections, to no avail – his own cock was straining against his pants almost painfully. He observed, almost in a state of a surreal daze, as Tav used her thumb to spread a new bead of precum over the head of Astarion’s cock, and reflexively licked his lips.  
She noticed and let out a satisfied hum. 
“Why don’t you come help?” she purred. 
“Hmm?” Wyll seemed to snap out of his daze. “You want me to take over..?” 
“No, like I said, this is hardly something you haven’t done before – try something new.” Tav grinned. “Why don’t you come down here and kneel in front of him?” 
Somehow, Wyll’s legs got him down onto the floor between Astarion’s thighs. The vampire himself leaned back against Tav, his head thrown back over her shoulder, with a vague smile on his lips. 
“Really...?” Wyll breathed a shaky laugh. “I thought we would start with some baby steps. Maybe a kiss..?” 
“No, no darling...” Tav cooed. “Don’t be silly. Kissing is way too intimate. Just lick his balls for now.” 
Still not quite believing what was happening, Wyll went ahead and did as he was told. Two things, he noticed immediately. One, the overwhelming scent of Astarion’s musk was making his head spin. He wanted to simply bury his nose in the spot between his shaft and balls and inhale, but he wasn’t sure whether that would be appropriate. And two, his ministrations immediately made Astarion groan, the sound sweet music to his ears. 
By then Tav had moved out from behind Astarion’s back and lounged on the bed next to him, her hand still stroking his cock, and watched Wyll’s efforts. 
“Good boy,” she purred approvingly. 
“Love?” Astarion said.  
“Hmm?” Tav hummed. 
“You talk too much.”  
Wyll watched Astarion push her head, quite unceremoniously, down towards his groin. She let out a somewhat annoyed sound, but went right on, taking his cock in her mouth. 
“Finally, some silence,” Astarion groaned.  
Once again, Wyll found himself gawking at the display now mere inches before him, as she worked the length of Astarion’s erection with her lips, her cheeks hollowing - obviously a practiced motion for the two, as they entered a familiar rhythm, Astarion’s hips bucking up, his fingers tangled in her hair, as she bobbed her head.  
Tav’s eyes met Wyll’s, and she released Astarion’s dick from her mouth, with a loud plopping sound and a sigh. She lifted Wyll’s chin with one finger.  
“Now you can take over,” she whispered, getting up.  
Wyll hesitated, taking Astarion’s cock in his hand.  
‘Huh... Not cold at all,’ he thought.  
“Don’t tell me the Blade is intimidated,” Astarion taunted. 
Wyll tried to think of a witty retort, but, for once, his mind was blank, and in any event it hardly seemed appropriate to orate and put on heroic airs whilst on his knees between Astarion’s legs. He decided it would be prudent to simply put the dick in his mouth.  
Tav had made it look so easy... She slurped that thing up like a horse with a carrot. But Wyll found himself struggling, despite quite enjoying the taste and sensation of tender skin on his tongue. 
Astarion sucked his breath in, with a hiss.  
“Teeth...” he said. “We keep our teeth behind our lips, darling.” 
Wyll tried to mumble an apology without removing Astarion’s cock from his mouth.  
“And don’t talk with your mouth full. Gods, you’re from a decent family, haven’t they taught you any manners..? ...There, that’s better.” 
“Is he doing a good job?” Wyll heard Tav’s voice somewhere in the room.  
“Well...” said Astarion.  
“Hey!” she exclaimed. “Wyll, honey, you know you can bite him if he’s mean to you, right? You’re the one with the power here, right now.” She got back on the bed, holding something in her hand. “But why are you still dressed?” she laughed.  
Wyll released Astarion from his mouth and fumbled with his clothing. Meanwhile, Tav had slid onto Astarion’s lap, and they busied themselves with each other. Their sheer hunger for one another, as they kissed and exchanged caresses, made Wyll feel like a third wheel, but Tav quickly turned her attention back to him.  
“My love, I think he’s bored,” she said to Astarion. “Should we wake Halsin up again?”  
“Are you trying to educate or traumatise him..?” Astarion murmured in response. “But that reminds me of something...” 
Astarion positioned Tav to sit on his lap with her back against him, guiding her onto his cock. She moaned as he entered her, his knees spreading her legs as his hands roamed her body, stroking between her legs as he bucked his hips up into her.  
“It was such a breathtaking view, I thought he would enjoy it as well,” he murmured. “Like what you see?” he directed at Wyll. 
Nothing in Wyll’s life had prepared him for this. Eyes locked on the spectacle before him, he had at last begun stroking himself, staying in time with Astarion’s movements. He didn’t notice as Astarion went to whisper something in Tav’s ear.  
“Do you want to taste her?” Astarion goaded.  
“Yes,” Wyll breathed, leaning forward. 
“Ah ah! Not like that.” Astarion intercepted him, pulling out of Tav. She got up, returning onto the bed with a giggle. Astarion’s cock glistened with her juices.  
“Go ahead now,” Astarion purred. 
Wyll eagerly took Astarion into his mouth again. Tav’s taste on Astarion’s cock combined with Astarion’s own precum was absolutely divine, and Wyll greedily lapped up as much as he could.  
“Much, much better this time...” Astarion purred approvingly. “Consider that a little treat... But that’s enough now. Come here...” Astarion pulled Wyll up by one of his horns, directing him onto the bed and pushing against his chest until he was on his back.  
Tav angled a pillow under his head so his horns wouldn’t get in the way, and laid down on her side near Wyll, and smiled at him, lightly caressing his face with her fingertips. Wyll’s heart beat like a mad thing trying to break out of its cage, as Astarion crawled on top of him, with a predatory look in his eyes. 
“So just how... ‘intimate’ were you thinking of getting?” Tav asked, softly.  
Wyll swallowed hard as Astarion emitted a soft growl and started kissing down his neck, his hand slowly working its way up the inside of Wyll’s thigh.  
“Is this about my blood, or are we now well enough acquainted to kiss..?” Wyll managed. 
Astarion lifted his head with a small sigh. 
“She’s asking whether the Blade might want to become a sheath for a spell,” he explained.  
Wyll found himself at a loss for words again.  
“...Can’t the Blade remain a blade?” he asked, finally.  
“That’s not on the table today, darling,” Astarion shook his head. “But we can entertain ourselves in other ways.” 
“Well then I uh... I think yes maybe..?” Wyll sputtered. 
“Yes what..?” Astarion asked, his voice low and husky, rolling over to lay on Wyll’s other side. “Do you want me to fuck you? Say it.” 
Any words Wyll might have said died somewhere between his racing heart and his suddenly parched throat, but his cock twitched visibly, jerking up and landing with a resounding thud on his abdomen.  
Tav and Astarion both turned their heads at the impressive display. 
“Why don’t I take it slow, and you can tell me if you want to stop at any moment..?” Astarion asked, unable to contain a grin. 
Wyll did not object to that. 
Tav had been trailing her fingertips lower and lower, leaving feather light caresses on Wyll’s skin, until she reached his straining erection. Meanwhile, Astarion had reached for the object she’d retrieved earlier. It turned out to be a vial with some kind of oil.  
“You’re in expert hands, you know,” she whispered in his ear. “I’ll admit, I’m actually excited for you.” 
Wyll watched Astarion pour some of the oil on his fingers. Lying between Tav and Astarion, he gained the distinct impression of having a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other.  
‘Who am I kidding?’ he thought. ‘They’re both devils.’ 
Tav reached and took his cock in her hand, just as Astarion spread some oil on it, before moving down to cup and gently tug on his balls with his hand. 
“Ah, you weren’t kidding about bumps and ridges!” Tav giggled. “My, they look fun!” 
“Bring your knees up,” Astarion purred.  
Wyll swiftly complied, and the vampire went to nibble on Wyll’s earlobe as his hand slipped lower. His finger circled and teased his puckered hole, while Tav continued to stroke his cock. 
“Do you want me to stop?” Astarion whispered in his ear. 
“Hnngaa-ah!” said Wyll, bringing his knees higher. 
Tav and Astarion exchanged a look.  
“I think that meant ‘no, don’t stop’,” said Tav.  
“I think so too,” Astarion agreed. “Very well.” 
Astarion applied more and more pressure as he teased Wyll’s hole.  
“Try to relax,” he purred, working a single finger in. “Breathe... It’s just a finger, for crying out loud.” 
Wyll whimpered, his cock twitching again, to Tav’s immediate delight, as Astarion continued to gradually work his digit in further, thrusting in and out, spreading more oil in and around.  
“That’s it,” Astarion whispered. “I think we can add one more.” 
Astarion’s thrusting had grown more persistent, as he added another finger, all the while watching Wyll’s expression with a lidded gaze.  
Wyll was finding himself being reduced to a blushing, mewling mess, throwing his head back as much as his horns would allow, with his eyes shut.  
Tav had begun licking and nibbling on his neck. 
“Do you like it?” Tav purred, as Wyll nodded. “Think you’re ready for more?” 
“Yes,” he whispered, almost inaudibly, rolling his hips in time with Astarion’s fingers now. His cock was leaking obscene amounts of precum onto Tav’s hand as she continued to play with it. 
“Get down here then,” Astarion directed him closer to the edge of the bed without pulling his fingers out.  
“Do be gentle, Astarion, it’s his first time after all,” Tav called out as Wyll slipped out from her hand, drawn after Astarion. She got up to wet a washcloth in the basin, leaving it within Astarion’s reach.  
‘Is that..? Oh. Well, that makes sense.’ Wyll’s scrambled brain thought.  
“Well, if I can’t marry into the Ravengard family, I guess I’ll settle for deflowering the heir,” Astarion grinned. 
Wyll let out an involuntary whine as Astarion’s fingers left his ass. 
“Don’t worry, darling, there’s more on the way,” Astarion drawled.  
Wyll watched Astarion spread more oil on his own cock, before falling back again, shutting his eyes and whimpering in anticipation.  
Astarion set a torturously slow pace as he worked his cock in, stretching Wyll more and more with slow, shallow thrusts that gradually grew deeper and deeper. 
“Good...” Astarion groaned, slowly sliding in and out of Wyll almost fully now. “Who knew you’d be so good...” 
He picked up the pace, setting a steady rhythm with his thrusts once it was clear Wyll was comfortable with it.  
“So how does it feel to be fucked?” Astarion asked with a devilish grin.
“Oh leave him be, he’s already going through a lot” Tav cut in, reclining near Wyll again.  
Wyll looked up at her. She was smiling at him so sweetly... He reached towards her. 
“I didn’t say you could touch her,” Astarion warned with a forceful thrust, making Wyll yelp. 
“I wouldn’t anger him, if I were you,” Tav whispered, slowly running a finger down between the ridges of his muscles. “He still holds a grudge about your little seduction attempt back in the Shadow-Cursed Lands, you know.” 
“What in the hells are you two gossiping about..?” followed from Astarion.  
“My heart, he’s doing so well, don’t you think he’s earned another little treat?” Tav asked Astarion, ignoring his question.  
“I’m the only one here who’s earned any treats,” Astarion muttered. “But sure.”  
He slowly pulled his hard length out of Wyll. 
“On your feet!” 
Wyll scrambled up, bending over the edge of the bed. Tav stayed on the bed, edging over to sit before him with her legs spread. 
“Still want a taste?” she purred with a wicked smile. 
Astarion entered him again, with a perhaps slightly too forceful thrust, making Wyll collapse face-first between Tav’s legs. With a groan, he plunged his tongue between her folds, earning a moan from her.  
Wyll’s efforts might have been somewhat sloppy, but he made up for it in sheer enthusiasm as he lapped at her, eagerly. 
Unbeknown to Wyll, Astarion caught Tav’s eyes and raised a questioning eyebrow at her. She shrugged and waved her fingers in a ‘so-so’ motion back at him. Astarion nodded with a roll of his eyes.  
Wyll was caught off-guard when Astarion reached around him to take his neglected cock in his hand.  
“Let’s get you off and let you rest, little prince,” Astarion murmured.  
His cool hand was firm and practiced in a way that Tav’s simply could not be, its deliberate movements incessantly urging Wyll towards a release. 
Wyll completely lost all traces of composure and simply moaned between Tav’s legs as Astarion worked him.  
“Can’t multi-task, darling?” Astarion teased. “That’s alright, I’ll finish that job myself later as well.” 
Wyll lifted himself on his arms, trying to push his hips back against Astarion’s as Tav slipped out from under him. 
“Alright, give him a peck, I know he wants one so desperately...” Astarion said begrudgingly. 
Tav returned to lift Wyll’s head and kissed him, tenderly, her tongue swirling and dancing against his, as Astarion continued to fuck and stroke him.  
“I said a peck! Gods, woman, offer you a hand – you'll take the whole arm, every time.” 
Astarion’s grip on Wyll’s cock tightened, his hand speeding up, until Wyll couldn’t take it anymore and finally erupted, crying out and whimpering into Tav’s mouth, as he spilled a thick and well overdue load onto the sheets as Astarion continued to stroke him.  
He was still gasping, trying to catch his breath when Astarion slid out of him, giving Wyll's ass a loud smack, before wiping himself and Wyll down.  
At last, Wyll collapsed on the bed next to Tav.  
“Gods...” was all he could muster.  
Astarion gave him a self-satisfied smirk as he joined them on the bed, kissing his way up Tav’s leg.  
“Now shall I show you how to actually satisfy a woman? So you know what to do with your ‘one and only’ later?” 
~~~~~
Hope you enjoyed, this work is part of a series, check out the rest of it
AO3
~~~~~
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empressdede · 7 months ago
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Me, U & Jealousy - Chapter 1
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Chapter One
“We’ll have Kayla give you the run around with how everything should be set up and she’ll help you get things going. Congratulations on your first day, good luck.” Eddie, a backstage producer had told me before walking off.
I was just hired on as an interviewer for WWE and I couldn’t really say I was that excited. Although this is a big opportunity for me, there was a couple people from my past who were here that I wish I could’ve left in the past.
But when my best friend, Jada, told me about the opportunity, I couldn’t let it slip through my fingers.
“I know it may seem scary but once you get acquainted with everyone, it’ll be easier for you.” Kayla starts as she takes over the tour. “Everyone here is very nice, so don’t be intimidated so easily.”
I let out a laugh, shaking my head at her. “Kayla I don’t think there’s a person here who can intimidate me. I don’t frighten easy.” It was true though. No matter how big, tall or muscular someone could be, it didn’t phase me at all. Not even a little bit.
Kayla laughed right back, “Okay, Good. I know most people come in and they’re so afraid to mess up because they work for such a big company; but I think you have enough confidence to do a great job.”
“Thank you Kayla, that really means a lot coming from you.”
“No problem girl. We’ll go around and introduce you to everyone backstage so that you can-“
“I know that ain’t who I think it is!” A voice called out from afar, and I had to keep myself from rolling my eyes. So much for keeping them in the past.
Kayla and I turned around to watched the entire bloodline walk up to us. Unfortunately I grew up with these fools, our parents were close and they always had us hanging out together. The Uso brothers and Roman were older so they didn’t hang out with me as much as their little brother did.
“We heard you was coming, but we thought Ma was just talking just to talk. Damn, look at lil Sorai.” Jonathon teased as he pulled me into a hug.
I gave him the hug in return but kept it short, pulling away from him. “I’m not lil Sorai, I’m grown now Jon.”
Joshua threw his arm around my neck to pull me into a hug as well. “She think cause she gain a lil weight she grown.” Josh laughed and I rolled my eyes.
“I’m a grown women, thank you.” I stated, pulling back from that hug as well. “I pay big girl bills now just like the rest of em.”
“Don’t think just cause you ‘grown’ you think you can walk around doing whatever. Joe on a mission to keep that whole locker room away from you.” Josh stated, throwing quotations around the word ‘grown’ as if it meant nothing to him.
And in reality, it probably didn’t. Seeing these boys did nothing but push those big brother instincts that they had over me back in high school.
They would run everyone away from me if they could. No boy stood a chance against these boys, and I wasn’t about to let them repeat my high school life all over again.
“Guys, Its been a couple of year. Don’t you think it’s time to drop this big brother act already? I mean We’re all grown now.”
It was Joe who spoke up this time. “Grown? You think she look grown Josh?”
“Nah not even a little bit, what about you Uce?” Josh asked, turning to his twin.
“Still look like the same lil Sorai from the playground. Ain’t that right Solo?” Jon asked his little brother.
Solo stared at me with the most intense look in his eyes before answering his brother. “Yeah, same lil Sorai from the playground.” He agreed, a small smirk on his face.
Solo fucking Sikoa. Damn I couldn’t stand him. Ever since we were kids, he would always teased me about every little thing and made sure to irritate my last nerve just to get a laugh. But it wouldn’t be like that this time around, I’m gonna make sure of that.
“I see you still can’t stand up for yourself Sefa. Guess some things never change.”
“It’s Solo.” He tried to correct but I shrugged him off turning to Kayla who looked amused from the whole interaction.
“Kayla, these fools are my wanna be brothers who tried to scare everyone away from me back in high school.” I stated, giving her the history of how I knew them.
“We don’t try to do nothing. We’ve successfully ran every lame away from lil Sorai because she don’t got time for heart break.” Jon bragged which caused me to roll my eyes.
“It’s a little too late for that. Listen as much as I would love to play catch up, Me and Kayla got things to do and I won’t be caught slacking on my first day. “ I turned around and started walking in the opposite direction of the group of boys to follow Kayla to wherever she had to take me.
“Aye Kayla, when y’all finish up bring her to our locker room so she can know where its at. That way we can play catch up!” Jonathan called out. Kayla let out a shout of agreement with a playful smirk on her face as we continued down the hall.
“So,” Kayla started as soon as we were out of earshot. “Wanna tell me the history behind that?” She asked teasingly.
Oh Lord.
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Let me know watchu guys think so far. Gimme some love though😭🫶🏾 like, comment and repost
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Lies - A Pedrotober Drabble
Day Twenty-Five of Pedrotober: Javier Peña Pedrotober Hosted by @norththelemon and @alyssamariag. View the full prompt list HERE and view my entire Pedrotober drabble catalog HERE.
Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader
Rating: E for this is Exactly what I want to happen to me. Actually not all that explicit, but there are mentions of oral (fem receiving) and p in v sex. This one's really angsty y'all and also has several depictions of panic attacks and coarse language throughout.
Word Count: 2080
a/n: For those that don't know, Javier Peña is my husband. I love him more than life itself. So much so that I was entirely unsure what to write for today until I let Sabrina Carpenter into my head, and "Lie to Girls" provided the prompt I needed. Truthfully though this is just self-service, and this is my Javi.
"You want the truth, Javi? Fine. Deep down? Deep down I could never love you."
The words spill from your lips before you can stop them, self-imposed anger filling your tone as he stares back at you with wide eyes. You've wounded him, hurt him in a way you were certain no one could ever touch Javier Peña, and yet you have.
He's gone before you can stop him, the door slamming behind him and leaving you in stunned silence.
And then, you're alone with the lies that got you here.
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Four Months Before
You know who they're talking about before you even slip into the seat at your desk. Javier Peña. It's an assumption you know to be correct based on the whispered discussion about the size of his cock and the way your coworkers wish he would glance in their direction instead of at the women he claims are informants. You've heard it all before, their daily list of reasons they long to end up in his bed providing the soundtrack to your entire life in Columbia. Murmurs of what he might do to them behind closed doors, all trivial to your existence.
Until the moment everything changes.
"He's looking at you," one of them hisses, and you drag your gaze up to lock with his from across the room. His stare is soft, brimming with something that looks like concern, but it's immediately tainted by the fire of those staring at you.
"Shit, he's looking at her?"
"What did she do?"
"Are they sleeping together?"
You don't tell them the truth, that you're only visible to him now after months of working in the same building on the same case because he found you in the parking lot outside last night. Lies had tumbled out of you as you tried to erase the evidence of the tears from your eyes, but he'd seen right through you. He broke you down piece by piece until you confessed everything to him. Mourning the conclusion of a relationship that you'd convinced yourself was good for you because you would rather stay in it than confront the loss waiting on the other side.
He didn't invite you home the way you'd expected him to, but instead drove you to yours, walking you to your door to confirm that you would be okay. From start to finish, Javier Peña was the complete antithesis of the man you thought he was. The man they claimed him to be. So distant from the rough exterior and innuendo-filled personality you typically avoided at all costs.
You assure him you're fine.
It's the first of many lies you'll tell him.
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Three Months Before
You inevitably end up in his bed.
It crossed your mind as he covered you with his body that it would be a one-time thing. You're scratching an itch that's been burdening you both since the night you became a blip on his radar and then you'll move on with your lives.
But the error in your calculation is evident when one night turns into two, which turns into three, and then four until you're spending every night with him between your legs.
You attempt to convince yourself that it's just sex instead. Lies you tell to stop the eventual heartbreak. You write it off as stress relief, something you both desperately need. When he has you pinned up against the shower tile it's because Escobar managed to allude him again. When he's eating you out on the kitchen counter it's because you were denied the promotion you so obviously deserve. And when he's fucking you within an inch of your life, the bed creaking below you to the point that you're afraid it might break, it's simply because Steve spilled his coffee all over Javi's favorite jacket.
And then it's not just sex either.
The storm clouds roll in as the last of the evening light fades on the horizon, lightning flashing as you speed back to your apartment. It had always unnerved you, the way Mother Nature could unleash her fury, and while you were reluctant to admit it to anyone, the rumble of thunder frightened you more than anything. More than horror movies, more than spiders, and certainly more than your job with the DEA.
By the time you make it home, rain is falling. The sky flashes continuously as you turn on every light in your apartment. You know you're not truly in danger, but the subconscious part of your brain won't allow you to do anything other than curl up in your bathtub with a plush blanket and a pillow, which is exactly where he finds you.
"Carino," he soothes when he locates you, easing his way into the tub behind you so you can lean back against his chest, strong arms encompassing you in safety. You feel the kiss he presses to the side of your head and can hear the quiet words he mutters to calm you. It works, and for a brief moment, you let yourself believe that this isn't a lie after all.
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Two Months Before
Rumors only grow.
Someone catches you when you ease into the passenger seat of his car, a rare smile on his face when he leans over to steal a kiss. A coworker observes the way he lingers in your presence, making excuses to bring paperwork to your desk instead of anyone else's. The chatter intensifies as he walks into the Embassy each morning, hair sticking up on the back of his head like he can't be bothered to tame it, only for you to fix it later when you think no one is watching.
It spirals before you can even try to hide it.
"Have you seen them together?"
"They have to be fucking."
"Lucky bitch."
You change desks to escape it. You remove yourself from the constant questioning and away from his watchful gaze like it will do something to stop the whispers. A feeble attempt at keeping up the charade as you try to quell the suspicions racing around the office. An effort to deny the allegations that you're more than colleagues and about the way he fucks you in the evidence room.
Which, he does, but you never admit it, and neither does he.
Out in the open, your life is a fabricated reality, but when you're sated and tangled in the sheets of his bed, the lines begin to blur.
He explains that the women really were informants, but that they also filled a void he's spent most of his life trying to fill. He tells you about his childhood, about growing up on the ranch, and how he hopes to return there when this can all be put to rest. He's honest when you ask about his past relationships, giving you the backstory on the lies he'd been told that nearly resulted in a marriage he couldn't fathom being in now.
Especially not when he has you.
When you tell yourself he's telling the truth, it still feels like a lie.
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It's late. Too late.
Javier always appears like clockwork, but tonight he's nowhere to be seen. It makes you nervous, especially when the distant sound of gunfire sends a chill along your spine. The clock hits ten. Then eleven. When midnight rolls around, you're doing everything you can to convince yourself that he's fine. That he just got caught up with something at the Embassy, that he's with Steve and they've finally found a lead that takes them somewhere productive.
And then, something triggers in your mind.
Doubt creeps in. Your heart rate increases and you try to steady your breath as the whispers grow louder.
"Think she knows he keeps a tally?"
"She should get out while she can."
"It's only a matter of time before he cheats."
By the time he appears, you've convinced yourself that they're telling the truth.
"Where were you?"
He doesn't meet your gaze, the first sign that whatever is about to follow is exactly in line with the warnings you should have listened to sooner. You should've believed them instead of lying to yourself. You'll never be good enough for Javier Peña.
"Please, just..."
"Where. Were. You?" You repeat, standing your ground. Javi remains silent, the anger clouding your vision to the point that you miss the haunted look in his eyes. The one that you should've noticed. "Get out."
His expression shifts to something more hardened. He runs a hand through his hair as he blows out a puff of air. "I'm sorry, I just..."
"Get out, Javier."
"I love you," he says at the same time.
Everything stops. "You don't mean that."
"I do," he returns, taking a step closer, "and don't even try to lie to me, because I know you feel the same way."
You spiral, panic setting in until you're no longer sure which lie you should believe. Yours or theirs. The idea that he's been bound to leave you from the beginning, or the concept that you could never love someone like him anyway. The argument that you're together or the case that you're not. The plea you make with yourself that you love him or the reasoning that he could never truly love you. That everything is based on a lie.
So you lie, too.
"You want the truth, Javi? Fine. Deep down? Deep down I could never love you."
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Two Days Later
You learn why he was late and it destroys you. The horrors he witnessed in the dark of night are revealed from the shadows and it makes you sick to think that instead of enveloping him in your arms, you sent him away.
He hasn't shown up at the Embassy since.
"Bet he's out fucking another informant."
"What did I tell you? Notch on the bedpost."
"Think he'll fuck me next?"
You want to scream at them. Want to set the record straight once and for all, that every second of the relationship you've shared with Javi has been tainted by the lies. The ones they've told you and the ones you've told yourself. And now, because you were stupid enough to believe them, you've fucked it up.
The phone calls you make to his apartment go unanswered. You beg Steve to check on his partner, but Javi never opens the door. You've thought a dozen times about stopping by his favorite bar just to see if that's where he's ended up, but you talk yourself out of it. You convince yourself that he doesn't want to see you and resolve that it's the truth. A final attempt at masking the way your heart is breaking.
But the lies can't dull the reality that the only one who hasn't lied is him.
Grey clouds blanket the sky when you step into the parking lot, your eyes immediately traveling to the empty spot reserved for him. Drops of rain fall on your skin, mingling with the tears you can't seem to stop. You haven't slept. You can't, not when your mind insists on repeating his words over and over.
"I love you."
By the time you make it home, thunder is rattling the frames on the walls of your apartment. Your subconscious takes over, melting away at the emotions you've been riddled with for days and replacing them with fear. Fear of the storm outside, yes, but also the fear that you'll never see him again. The fear that you'll never have the chance to tell him the truth.
The wind picks up quickly as you land in the hallway, your arms wrapped around you as the storm outside matches the intensity of the one raging in your mind. It's overwhelming, the flash of lightning mirroring the detonation of your relationship as you sob into your knees. It consumes you to the point that you're completely unaware of the warmth. You don't notice when he carries you to your bed, barely registering the way he coaxes you back to reality.
"Breathe, mi amor. Breathe."
He holds your face against his neck, hand on the back of your head as he draws you close. His breath is steady and he encourages you to match it. Slowly, you do, and as the sound of the storm dies down, so do the voices, until the only one left that matters is yours.
You finally tell him the truth.
"I love you."
"I know you do, Carino. I know."
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a-d-nox · 10 months ago
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Hello, can you please give me your take on ☄️ Varuna in the 4h (conjunct IC) and opposite MC, at an aries degree ? 👱
varuna (asteroid 20000), what's his sign/degree, where he sits in a chart, and his aspects
after receiving quite a few asks and comments about varuna aspects and placements i decided to continue the series (reminders: @e11e27 , @cosmiccvnt ).
IMPORTANT: varuna is a slow moving asteroid it is very likely that everyone reading this will have a cancer varuna. mainly the sign/degree section is for the degree. other than that, the house and the aspects made to varuna are highly important in this post!
all of this is in my opinion. some of it you may be like how tf did she come up with this. my answer: intuition and experience with other people's charts that i have available to me. warning i can be harsh: please don't take everything i say as predestined, astrology is possible outcomes not guaranteed ones. plus let's not forget orbs matter, dominance matters, etc. it's never just varuna. this is just a starting place for when examining a single asteroid in an entire galaxy. take what resonates and leave what doesn't.
*all of these observations are based on a natal chart - solar return and persona charts will change all these observations because the context is different*
!!! RETROGRADE MAKES ALL OF THESE THINGS LISTED BELOW SUPER STRESSFUL OR SLOW TO APPEAR IN YOUR LIFE!!!
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signs/degrees
aries (1°, 13°, 25°): you might feel the urge to control things. it is likely important and even vital for you to control every activity that you are involved it. this may be trust thing - you likely struggle to trust those around you fully; especially, when it comes to your welfare and the welfare of others. you are likely a natural leader. often you may use your energy to get what needs to happen done. the unfortunate part is that people with this placement tend to be forced out of power or even into retirement. often you are likely to use your brain power to take initiative to get things done... however, you might struggle with keeping balance - you might be a bit of an extremist and some may even say you are forceful.
taurus (2°, 14°, 26°): you might find yourself wanting to control beauty standards and your monetary life. early in life, you could struggle with feeling in control of your beauty (acne, inability to keep up with trends, etc) and/or your money. when finally get both under your control via routine and saving/budget, you are likely to cling to the control mechanism for each. in the age of social media, you might find yourself influencing others on those topics - however, you might want to be careful that you don't get cancelled for being to rigid in your thoughts/beliefs on the topics. it might be a lesson for you to learn that there is a fine line to balance beauty and ugly or saving for some day and living life to the fullest. beauty can be found in all things and you can't put a price on happiness.
gemini (3°, 15°, 27°): you likely find yourself wishing to control communication with others and involving others. you might really enjoy gossip because gossip tends to involve knowledge that gives you power. if you can control who knows what, you likely feel in control and powerful... but with great power comes great responsibility. it is very important that you are selective who you tell what to because if you tell someone the wrong thing, you might find yourself having a social fall from grace. in the gossip realm, it could be something like you tell someone something and they then tell the person who it is about that you were the one that told them this gossip. being someone who collects knowledge via communication, you might find yourself a moderator or needing a lot of social recharge time in order to feel at peace / in balance. as a knowledgable person, you likely enjoy reading about philosophy and morals.
cancer (4°, 16°, 28°): this placement has some hardcore domestics vibes - it tends to feel like they are good at all things involving the home. you could even have a naturally green thumb. you know how to sell your vision of the future to those around you. you also could be super involved in local government (stars hollow vibes, if you know, you know, Gilmore Girls fans). you likely have great morality where justice in a community is best served. you naturally wish to protect those in your family (both your blood and chosen family that is) - you will do whatever it takes to do so. there is a chance that your "fall from grace" in the eyes of those around you is just you slowing down and appreciating where you're at in life - it could also just indicate falling off the radar when you go into retirement. a goal for this placement also tends to be, you want everyone to feel safe in your environment.
leo (5°, 17°, 29°): you might have the mindset that you are the rightful leader and that you should be in control of most things. while i believe that you have great leadership abilities (i feel like you are extremely moral/responsible as a leader), i also believe that you may want to be more openminded to collaborating. you are a great organizer, but you should also practice delegating. with this placement, you might find yourself the most likely of the bunch to lose your power... you will want to balance your power with pleasure - while you may derive pleasure from power, you must realize that you can get pleasure from other sources too, like creative entertainment for instance.
virgo (6°, 18°): i get this feeling that you would make a really good administrator or accountant - you are very good at keeping the details under control. but "the devil is in the details" - no one person can be in control of everything... you might find yourself failing to keep everything under control, or that your status changes after you say that you have everything under control. something is bound to happen that will make you realize you have less control than you think. for those in a medical profession, you might believe that a patient is fine one moment then the next they are deceased. these things happen - not everything is predictable. the world is a place of homeostasis - this virgo placements often strive for prefect or a semblance of control that is just not realistic. take the tricky/bad with the good.
libra (7°, 19°): ugh, you guys try the hardest to maintain balance... especially, in terms of relationships. compromise is likely very important to you - often it appears that you can do so with grace, but be aware that your idea of what is just is not the same as everyone else's. others might look down on you for your ego in believing that you know best / what is right and wrong. remember to compromise with others as they compromise with you. anywho you are gifted at elegantly handling many things at once - things that are a struggle for others, often aren't as a big a struggle for you.
scorpio (8°, 20°): i feel like you are often very passionate about having control. you need to know everything and feel like you have some measure of control to feel at peace. you don't mind sleuthing on those around you, so you can make them feel comforted and as though they can let their guard down around you. just like you have the power to end others, they also have the ability to ruin you. at some point, you might find yourself casted out / eliminated by those around you. you need to learn a balance when it comes to purging the world and curiosity. sometimes you have to just be grateful for what you have and let a mystery be a mystery.
sagittarius (9°, 21°): this gives political vibes. i feel like a lot of people with these degrees will find themselves wanting to control whole societies (thus the political vibes). you might find yourself wanting to be in the political realm, otherwise you might just want to influence society (perhaps via social media). usually, this is a morality thing - you are on a moral high ground and have a vision of what is good and what is bad. perhaps it is because you have an innate wisdom about humanity and an idealism that could manifest within this society, if we had mores become norms. unfortunately, you might not have the endurance to withstand dealing with things such as this in the long term sense. you are devoted to spreading wisdom and sharing your vision for the future, but it becomes very exhausting after awhile because so few actually listen and take action.
capricorn (10°, 22°): you seek order, organization, and efficiency - you will do whatever it takes to obtain it. often you might find yourself fighting for order for a very long time - these people typically don't mind cleaning or organizing professionally for a long period of time because it helps them feel at peace, and they like to help others also feel at peace. of course, you will eventually slow down due age - you might feel depressed when you notice clutter accumulating because you realize you simply can't keep up with things anymore. alternatively, you might find yourself forced to retire from your profession - you might feel like you are still sharp, but others will see that you are making too many mistakes which will lead them to force you out of your position. these people often seek balance in their schedule because they tend to have a lot that they wish to do, and as they say, "very little time to actually do so"...
aquarius (11°, 23°): the controlling friend... not the best look and it is funny too because in the beginning you might have really good intentions. you might want all your friends to get together regularly to do something fun, but after awhile people might accuse you of nagging. you might find yourself becoming a moderator in an online group forum and "controlling" what others are allowed to do in that sense. i only mean to make you aware - just because you want to see progress or to have fun and do new things, does not mean that others would enjoy doing so and will follow your every word. you might be someone who believes in altruism - so practice it. don't do things hoping to get praised by those around you. often the people who are around you know very little about who you actually are so try not to present yourself as bossy and as though you seek accolade for every little thing you do. you will quickly notice that others will turn away from you, if you do that. progress over notoriety is key.
pisces (12°, 24°): it is hard to say what this placement would seek to control; perhaps, you are the only one in the mix who doesn't really wish to be in control of anything. you might be the type that prefers to have options - you might struggle with having to come up with everything on your own. the illusion of having control is more important than actually having control. you don't seek absolute power, you prefer limited power likely because you have the tendency of fearing disappointing others. ironically, if you did disappoint someone, you might seek to make it up to them by any means necessary, thusly you give them control over you and then situation. life is an abstract concept and you likely will come to understand a majority of that in you time. you might realize the limitations of knowledge, power, and morality and see that there exists more grey and neutrality then there does omniscience, omnipotence, and pure good.
houses
1h: you may feel as though you were born to be in control of the elements around you. you could be a generally moral individual because you constantly self-evaluate. for you controlling your actions and having restraint is rather easy, but, one day, you might give in to temptation and feel as though you are spiraling. it is important that you notice that life has its ups and downs; moderation is the only way to feel you are acknowledging all your actions and inactions.
2h: money is the name of the games. money makes you feel powerful and safe. if you have the money you need, you feel like you have room to give to and receive from others. your aim is likely wealth - ultimately you want to have an emergency fund so that if something were to happen you can still feel like you have the money you need to keep going or so you can retire and still live comfortably. but it is give and take; you can't just hoard money right now - at least a majority of you can't because you have to continue to live and living costs money. make money to live - spend money to continue to make money... give yourself permission to live a little - it is great to save but take a look at what you are saving for. no future is certain.
3h: i feel like this can be such a tricky placement. varuna is about control, but the 3h tends to require openness and flexibility to the world around you... it might be difficult for you because you are constantly being forced to adapt to some sort of new knowledge, new communication technique, or new environment. do not be hard on yourself. control is not everything. you can only control what you can communicate, what you know / are open to learning, and where you go - you can't control what others say, what they know / are open to, and where they go. it will be fine just keep being your wonderful self. communicate, learn, and walk around a bit. new things don't have to be scary.
4h: are you varuna or is someone else varuna? that is up to you to figure out with this placement. typically, i see this as people who are either controlling or controlled by their family. often, i see this as people who are in charge of their household as well; you might be the one who makes the dinner, pays the bills, cleans the house, etc even from a rather young age. it can be a struggle though because after doing all that for such a long time you might find you are exhausted and simply can't do it anymore know that it is okay to be burnt out - it is okay to be overwhelmed when you do everything like you do. alternatively, you might feel like you have no say in your family or in your home. it could feel like you are "low man on the totem pole" - even when you try to help or do something you somehow "mess it up" and a parent (typically, your mother) will take away your responsibilities because "you can't be trusted to do the task".
5h: you can't control anything in this bracket funnily enough, so you are likely to feel very tested... you can't control a child - especially, not your own. you will likely never see half of what is coming until it has already happened where your own child is concerned. you can't control chance, creativity, nor, and most importantly, love. when you try to control any of these, you will notice quite a few things... your children are likely to leave your home the moment they are reasonably capable of doing so. when you try to control chance, others might state you are a "stalker" or a "control freak". when you try to control creativity, you might close yourself off to inspiration and originality. and when you try to control love, you are likely to find yourself alone... so don't embrace varuna too heavily with this placement. instead, be open. this placement is great if you want to be an agent, producer, art teacher, guide your children, be dominant in romance, etc. but a key lesson will be the art of letting go because that is when the magic truly happens.
6h: i can't decide if you are a health guru or a g-calendar wiz. maybe it is both. it is astounding nonetheless because you have unbreakable control over your own elements. you might know what marcos are in your meals, what time blocking is, how long it takes to burn fat, etc. it is great by also i feel like you are incredibly hard on yourself; just because you missing one day does not mean it is over. one missed day doesn't mean you have failed - yes, your routine is messed up BUT it is just for the day. it is just for the day - tomorrow is a new day.
7h: these people tend to have their hands on a lot of contractual things - it feels very lawyer like. you will likely deal with agreements, settlements, contracts, controversy, etc. this is the placement of "i have it all under control" and generally you do. you tend to find yourself in an alliance of sorts; sometimes it is with your public enemy and other times it is with your lover - either way it is likely that whichever one you partner with will take over your power at some point in time. this could be a source of controversy in your life.
8h: another placement were you must learn it is okay to lack control... you can't control change, death, nor what you inherit. change is inevitable - if you refuse to change, you refuse to grow... if you refuse death, you forget to live or you find yourself mourning what isn't lost yet in the waking world. if you try to control what you inherit - well genetically you simply can't - you will be disappointed and find yourself removed from legal will(s) entirely. so you have to be open to change. you have to live. you have to be grateful and live in the moment - not in the future.
9h: be open to learning. you are in control of what knowledge you let sit in your mind. allow yourself to take all knowledge with a grain of salt. it is important that you learn everything that you possibly can - be worldly, get a different perspective, learn different philosophies/religions, etc. you will find yourself at a lost when you close yourself off, are too devoted to a single entity of knowledge, you stay at home, and/or you refuse to follow your intuition. open up and be willing to learn new things - this will help you to be the best version of you possible.
10h: often this placement loves a title - they enjoy having status and power. you likely enjoy the authority and/or notoriety that is associated with a title. the higher up you are the more at peace and comfortable you feel. however, the higher up you are, the further you can fall - so be mindful of your place. often with a high status comes a level of popularity. with popularity you have to be mindful of the power you have over influencing others. you are someone that others look up to, so be worthy of being looked up to.
11h: acquaintances, companions, friends, etc your contact with others make you strong and powerful. you might find that you have a number of people around you that are willing to help you get to high places and to reach your hopes and dreams. however, for this to be the case, you have to be aware of how you present yourself to others and the world around you. you also have to be careful that you aren't manipulating people into doing something solely for your gain. just because the people around you have influence, doesn't mean that you should expect their help. never expect to be given something without making a show of faith and effort. help others to see you are worthy and not just demanding a free hand-out.
12h: you are the secret keeper - a lock box for the unconscious and subconscious. you are in control of what you do and do not share with others. others are likely to lean on you to safe guard their issues, secrets, etc. the one thing you can't control with this placements is karma - karma is in control of it's self and will ultimately catch up with you. this, of course, causes your downfall/woe... the best way to keep in check is to resist sharing things that are meant to be a secret / private.
aspects from varuna to
sun: positive aspects: you might be shocked to learned that when you are in control, people follow your every command. you are someone who was given power because you have earned it. your achievements afford you authority and advancement. i find that these people are the best to be in power because they are selfless - they seek balance and fairness first and foremost - which is highly commendable. negative aspects: you may wish to be in control of most every situation and frequently fail to recognize that your ideals and desires are not everyone else's. you may fail to see that you are not always the best person to be in control of the situation, you may come off as slightly arrogant and/or as though you brag about your accomplishments very often to the point of annoyance. your ideas may not be popular opinion among others - and you have to accept that.
moon: positive aspects: you adapt well - your ability to keep up with the ever-changing world around you is what aids you to maintain balance and control. your emotions are a superpower; you feel for those around you which makes you all the more moral and fair. you might feel like you are popular and/or worshiped simply for showing sympathy/empathy and being flexible. negative aspects: i feel like you often wish for others to change on behalf of you - you likely fail to realize that the world doesn't revolve around you. it is a rarity that people will drop everything to help you regain security/balance. that is something you have to do on your own - which is likely to be what causes you a lot of stress. you likely won't find it fair that people aren't helping you - but that is the task of varuna. you have to do your own thing without the aid of others and most often the "others" that you wish would help you the most are your parents/family... be sympathetic/empathetic towards others as you wish they would be with you. it is not easy being human and even less so when you are depending on others without understanding who they are outside of their connection either you.
mercury: positive aspects: you likely depend heavily on communication - you are very particular about what you say and how you say it. accurate communication is key and then comprehension of that information. personally you are likely very good at communicating accurately and comprehending information. you are even very good at being adaptable to new information. you very easily can find yourself back on track if the communication with you and those around you is good. negative aspects: you can only control what you say - you can't control others or what they take away from what you say. you might struggle with efficient communication which throws off a lot of things in your life. you have to practice only communicating what is true/accurate - try your best to not say things you aren't 100% certain of because you will either find yourself in trouble or struggling to get things back in control (things are likely to get out of hand). you might also need to work on comprehension of verbal and written communication.
venus: positive aspects: you have a very powerful gift - controlling the admiration of others. in fact, you will likely find yourself a social media starlet or "famous" on some level. you could even control how desirable you are to those around you. for you it is not about control or balance, it is about finding bliss. you don't really want control or power, you want to be happy and be loved by others. negative aspects: i feel like you are the type of person who gets rather annoyed when people "mimic" you - even though it is common. "imitation is the best form of flattery" they say... but you? you take it personally; you don't like or appreciate when people appear as a "threat" - you especially hate when they get more attention then you did when using your concept. you desire to be seen as a sole entity but that is just not the way of the world any more - everyone copies everyone and most fame is not long-term (social media trends change, you age out of a concept, cancel culture, etc). you have to be okay with admiration no matter how you receive it.
mars: positive aspects: oof it you aren't in charge, you need to be. you are the one who gets things done. we need more doers in this world. you have a passion for achieving balance in the realm around you. you have the ability to control the activity of many people at once which is good too - you would/do make a good supervisor and/or manager in this lifetime. negative aspects: be very careful that you don't come off as controlling... it is likely that you will be seen as such. varuna a god centered on balance and mars is war and chaos - war is messy and unpredictable when functioning at its finest. so the two concepts do not fit together, thusly making for someone who is overly aggressive in having control or someone who attempts to stay away from actively doing anything at all. often your passions get in the way of you being logical and orderly, or you likely face decision fatigue.
jupiter: positive aspects: you are an incredible advisor; you have such wonderful knowledge and wisdom. you can really benefit a lot of people by sharing and being in a seat of power where you can help others - so explore and learn. you are someone who promotes the expansion of the world around you. you are someone who likes the formality of a hierarchy which promotes respect and loyalty. loyalty is everything to you when you feel like you can trust those around you then life will get a whole lot easier - everything will feel peaceful and you will feel comfortable stepping down from a position of power. negative aspects: you have a lot of learning to do before you teach anyone else - keep that in mind when you are giving advice to others. perhaps there is someone else who is in better spot to teach others - perferably someone with a lot of experience. you might also not be the most ethical person. without ethics you are definitely going to feel the pain and have a fall from grace or be forced to retire. you could struggle with open mindedness and/or honesty... practice leading with innocence and willingness to grow.
saturn: positive aspects: you are super self-controlled. you have a strong will which is rather uncommon for people... you have such strength - you could even resist the things to desperately desire. you are someone who is likely to retire before you are ever forced to quit or into retirement in general. you live a life of moderation, thusly you already follow the elements on varuna. negative aspects: you likely aren't the most self-controlled person... you might struggle with doing things in moderation and waiting in general. it is likely a struggle of yours to resist your desires. this might be something that springs from a mistrust built in childhood... you might fear that while it is there one moment it won't be there the next. you will need to work on your trust issues because while you could be right you are equally likely to be wrong in that regard. so have faith. don't doubt the world around you. you might be the type of person that has to be forced into retirement because you do not realize you are decaying in a knowledge sense - there is likely someone more capable than you and you will just have to accept that.
uranus: positive aspects: you are an extraordinary individual - while nothing is predictable when you are in charge, things are also unpredictable and innovative when you are. you cause growth and forward movement. you get things done and help others to evolve in a positive manner. you likely can juggle many things at once as well. your originality is likely to keep you in business and keep you in power for a long time. negative aspects: you might constantly question if everything you are doing is correct - you likely lack faith in yourself and your ability. you also might have the tendency to want to control things that aren't controllable like the future. you need to learn to have faith in the unknown. you probably struggle with finding balance because you likely do not plan - normally this is fine for a uranus placement/aspect but not where varuna is involved because he requires consistency and control. as for the fall from power - i don't feel like you will have a fall. i feel like it is more akin to estrangement. you might fall out of love or interest with your field and just leave it be.
neptune: positive aspects: astral projection vibes - you have strong psychic gifts, so don't hesitate to use them. you don't seek control which is your greatest gift; you reach a sort of nirvana when you stop trying to control things - it is so rewarding for you too. you don't let blockages set you back - you just go with the flow. negative aspects: you doubt your abilities which really sets you back. you have to acknowledge that you are capable of everything and anything. when you try to control your creativity, you will find yourself bored by your work and you might even create things that seem too simple to get the recognition you seek. you don't resonate with idealism - you want things to be predictable but they aren't. you need to embrace the unpredictable and the impractical. speaking of impractical, you likely won't be a leader, at least not the best leader, because you might just lack practicality where it is needed.
pluto: positive aspects: you embrace the chaos; you aren't a controlling person - you are the opposite a majority of the time. you want change not balance. you might be the least varuna like of this bunch due to this fact. the changes you make are often done carefully and overtime. you aren't someone that wastes time though; you make calculated risks/changes. negative aspects: you likely hate people who try to keep order... you loath those who try to control you most of all. you aren't someone who likes being controlled - if anyone should be controlling anyone you will believe it is you who should be in control. your passions likely overshadow you desire for balance/moderation.
asc: positive aspects: these are the people that you look at and you are like "dang, they have everything under control in their life". you appear so well composed that no one questions a thing. you look fine and like you can handle anything, so you likely find yourself tasked with a lot in life. miraculously, you can handle it too and continue to climb the ranks. you have a classic look about you that makes you look timeless and ageless. negative aspects: you may be controlling or lack control where your appearance is concerned. you should look into better life balance - no one should be living their life concerned about their looks and worrying about whether they will be taken seriously or not OR if they are on trend or not. do what what works for you - nothing more and nothing less.
mc: positive aspects: you may receive a lot of praise for your achievements and ambitions in life. you may find yourself in a high position in your career in which you are in charge or creating the code of conduct for your workplace. you could be a good leader because you are willing to hear others out in regards to regarding functionality. your father could have been someone of great importance who had an important job that allowed you to have a good childhood/home environment from a young age. negative aspects: you might expect to get accolade and it never comes - no doubt you are going above and beyond in your role though. you might feel like you are constantly on the cusp of getting to where you wish to go in life, yet you never get there. you could struggle with following those in a seat of power too because you might feel like they took your position or that you are better than they are at the job. status for you is very important, but it is not something you will ever feel confident about.
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dyns33 · 8 months ago
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Rafiq alruwh
I'm not sure yet if this will be a Bane x reader oneshot or not.
I like it like that, but I could find ideas for part 2. My only problem being that I still need to finish others Tom Hardy's characters story, while wanting to write Feyd Rautha stories.
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As much as Y/N listened to these stories over and over again, she couldn't imagine the feeling everyone would describe.
The moment your skin touched your soulmate's skin, and suddenly everything became clear, better. A feeling of joy and the burning need to stay by this person's side forever.
It was a rare phenomenon that scientists could not explain. It was completely impossible to know when this would happen, or if it would happen, because fate seemed cruel. Most people either didn't have soulmates or didn't have the chance to meet them in their lifetime. The world was too big and time too short.
There were still skeptics, who claimed that it was all nonsense, lies, invented by people blinded by love or who wanted to give themselves a certain gender. Only those who ended up meeting the person changed their mind, the others remaining too jealous to accept the truth, considering that it was only a romantic utopia.
Y/N wanted to believe in it. She dreamed of meeting her soulmate and experiencing this special moment.
Her parents were not meant to be together. It was visible.
In her entourage, she had an uncle who had had this experience, a few neighbors, a friend, and all had said the same thing.
What they had in common was that they were all good people. Maybe that was one of the reasons.
“You might have had to choose another type of profession then.”
"Mom…"
“I’m just saying that cop is not the most popular job in the world.”
"And I would say that choosing to be a non-corrupt police officer in Gotham is almost like being a saint."
"You'll end up getting killed, long before you meet your soulmate. I'll never understand why you wanted to be a cop, especially in this town."
There came a day when her mother's fears almost became a reality. The day when terrorists took the entire city hostage with a bomb, preventing everyone from entering and leaving.
It was probably not what she had thought when she talked about dying, but for several months, hidden with her colleagues, Y/N thought about her soulmate, trying to imagine this meeting that would probably never happen.
Staying mainly with Blake and Gordon, she tried to hide her pain, but it did not escape Miranda Tate, who took her hand with a gentle smile and asked what was tormenting her.
“We’re going to die here.” Y/N whispered. "I mean, I'm not afraid of that, that's the risk of the job. But… I didn't think it would be like this now. I wish I had met my soulmate before."
"Your rafiq alruwh. I didn't think many people cared about it here."
"My what ?"
"That's how my father called soulmates. I grew up with a lot of stories about it, because he and my mother were related. I prayed a lot to be that for one of my friends, but no. Our destinies are linked, but not like that.”
"Sorry."
"Even if I would have liked him to be mine, I wish him happiness and that he meets his other half one day. A being worthy of him, of his love and his protection. He deserves to be happy. You too, you seem kind. Maybe you shouldn't have been here."
Her words were strange, but Y/N didn’t tell the others. It wouldn't have changed anything anyway. Even though she had discovered that Miranda Tate had the detonator, that she was the real leader of the terrorists, the streets remained controlled by the militias.
As always, they were saved by the Batman. She had never really known what to think of the vigilante, protected by Gordon and hated by everyone else. He clearly wanted to help Gotham, but his methods remained illegal, and not necessarily effective in the long term.
His death was a tragedy, but not necessarily the end of a symbol. Hope was still there, even stronger, and the Gotham police were determined to ensure everyone's safety.
Y/N felt this determination too.
Still, she froze as she inspected the sewers with Blake and Ramirez. They too had a moment of hesitation, as their lamps illuminated a body. A huge body, sitting against the wall, face hidden by this frightening mask.
There had been a search for Bane and his men after the explosion. Witnesses said the Batman fought him, and won, but they found nothing.
Obviously, the terrorist had managed to drag himself here to die.
"What do we do ?" Ramirez asked shyly. “Should we put a bullet in his head ?”
"What ? Why do you want to do this ?"
"To make sure he's dead. I've seen a lot of movies, man, I know the mistakes to avoid."
She didn't approve of the speech, but Y/N agreed, it was necessary to check it out.
Feeling almost stupid, she moved forward slowly, her hand reaching towards Bane to see if he felt a pulse.
She didn't expect the large hand that quickly grabbed her neck before she could touch him.
Fear paralyzed her body, and yet there was something else. An indescribable, incredible feeling, which resembled happiness but more intense, which was absurd in this situation.
Y/N felt so lost that she didn't realize the hand was relaxing, just resting against her skin instead of squeezing and snapping her neck like it easily could have done.
"Habibi…" was the word spoken with difficulty by Bane, who stared at her with an indecipherable expression.
“Let her go right now, you bastard !”
Maybe he was as confused as her, or maybe he was too weak, but the terrorist didn't avoid Ramirez's punch, while Blake grabbed Y/N to pull her as far away as possible.
She stood still, not understanding what was happening, as Ramirez called for reinforcements, proud of having been able to knock out the giant, even though he knew as well as anyone that he would have had no chance. if his mask hadn't been damaged and he wasn't half dead. It was not possible.
Bane couldn't be her soulmate, Y/N refused to believe it. A man like him had no soul, not after everything he had done, and above all why would he be destined for her ? She didn't feel like she had committed a crime that deserved such punishment.
She was probably never going to see him again anyway.
If he survived to Blackgate, he would be locked there forever. Even if she had permission, she had no intention of visiting him.
But the feeling remained there, strong, impossible to ignore, demanding more. An incomprehensible need to be close to the one who had touched her, so that he would touch her again.
Y/N resisted. She gave her report to Commissioner Gordon, forgetting a few small details, and indicating that she did not wish to follow this case, leaving Bane's case to better agents than her.
This seemed to surprise him, as he considered her one of his best people, but he accepted.
However, it was impossible not to think of her soulmate, since the whole town was only talking about him and his arrest. The television was on loop every day, and her colleagues thought they were doing the right thing by keeping her informed of progress.
"They say his face is horrible. I think there are photos in the file."
"I'd love to see that ! I can't imagine that fucker at all without his weird mask. Do you think he has a normal voice without that thing ?"
“I can go get it so we check.”
Ramirez's gaze met hers as he stood, and without her needing to speak, he knew it was best for him to sit back down and change the subject.
Y/N didn’t see the photos. She absolutely didn't want to.
After several weeks, she asked to take a vacation, claiming to still be traumatized by what had happened to her, in addition to the near destruction of Gotham. She needed some time to rest.
Turning off all the screens and her phone, she tried meditation to clear her mind, so she could get some sleep and forget that her soulmate was a crazy, half-dead terrorist who would soon be judged.
This miserable attempt being a failure, she turned her phone back on shortly after midnight, only to be bombarded with calls and messages, coming from several colleagues, Blake, and Gordon.
"What is happening ?" she asked, calling the Commissioner back.
"Damn, I almost sent men to check on you, you weren't responding ! Where are you ? Are you okay ?"
“I’m at home, why ?”
"Don't panic. Blake will come get you."
“Gordon, what’s going on ?”
"He hasn't said anything since his arrest, keeping very quiet, and then yesterday Bane spoke. He asked to see you, giving your name. The other agents are categorical, it's impossible that he knows ot, no one told him. The agent simply replied that you were not on the investigation, and even on vacation… Damn, he…"
“Gordon, what ?”
"He escaped, Y/N. We don't know how. No one knows where he is, or what he's going to do. But since he talked about you, I don't want to take any risks. Don't move, John will come right away."
She could have told him that she knew very well why Bane had spoken about her, and that it was undoubtedly necessary for her to leave without delay, but fear held her back.
Even if it wasn't her fault, what would the commissioner think when he learned of her connection to the fugitive ? He was a good man, but all men had their limits, and she would be the first to be wary of someone designated as Bane's soulmate.
After hanging up, she jumped out of bed to grab her gun and shoes, ready to wait for Blake to arrive in her living room.
Y/N froze in the middle of the hallway, seeing the huge figure standing between her and the front door.
His face was covered by a scarf, his posture a little less proud than in the videos she had seen of him during his city hostage situation, he appeared to be in pain, but it was obvious that if she tried to pass, he would retain her without the slightest difficulty.
“Habibi.” he whispered, and indeed his voice was different without his mask, more human. "What a joy to see you again. More beautiful than I remember or on pictures. Will you come with us without resistance ? I don't want to hurt you."
"Hands in the air." she replied, pointing her gun at him, ignoring the urge to hug him. “Don’t move, my colleagues are coming.”
"I admire your sense of duty and honor, Habibi. But I will not return to prison, ever again. And I will not leave you either. I thought of you every day. Is your neck healed ? I need to repair my wrongs to you.”
“I said, put your hands in the air.”
“So you leave us no choice, Habibi.” he sighed, looking behind her.
We. He said we, and someone gave him her name. Y/N reacted too late, one man grabbing her gun, and the other not holding her shoulder, injecting something into her neck with a syringe.
In an instant, she found herself on the ground, her vision blurring, but her body not panicking, as it was invaded by an incredible sensation. Bane had reached out to hug her, his eyes smiling as he ran a hand over her cheek.
"It's okay. I'm taking you home, rafiq alruwh."
All her life, Y/N had waited for this moment, this feeling, this sentence. She told herself that the stories we said to children were really stupid, as her eyes closed.
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pandorxxx · 1 year ago
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An Unexpected Visitor: Parallels
(Chapter 2)
Lo’ak x Omatikayan fem reader (All aged up)
Warnings: cursing, dom-Lo’ak, p in v, oral (M receiving), multiple orgasms, BREEDING KINK, daddy kink, praise kink, degrading kink (kinda), lo’ak being all romantic
Chapter 1
Synopsis: You were promised to Neteyam. Him being next in line for olo’eyktan and you training to be the next tsahik, it only made sense. However, you had lo’ak on your mind. What happens when lo’ak gets tired of sneaking around, and asks you to be his mate? Will your father approve of this?
🔞MDNI🔞
“No.” Your father sterned. Sharpening his knife infront of your shared family hut. No? What did he mean….no?
You had built the courage to ask your father if lo’ak could come to dinner tomorrow night. And trust, it was hard to just come out and say it. So for him to just shut you down immediately, it hurt your feelings.
“But daaadddd!” You whined, arms crossed around your chest. “No buts! You are promised to Neteyam. It took me long enough to get over THAT. Now you’re In-love with his younger brother? Do you see how this makes you look?” He asked, haulting the attack on his knife to glance at you with a confused look.
“Ok. I’m not IN-LOVE with him. I just like him…a lot. And those were rules YOU and Mr.SULLY set into place. Neteyam and I have no romantic connection at all.” You clapped back, respectfully.
“I get that, trust me. And if you wish to not be mated with neteyam, we can come to a common decision. But you will NOT mate with lo’ak. He is a trouble maker. My daughter does not need to be seen with the likes of someone like that.” He explained, giving you a quick look that signaled for you to leave this situation alone for now. However, you had to explain yourself, and get your father to see things your way.
“Father. He’s not as bad as you think he is. He is learning to be good, and gentle. He’s sweet to me, and he treats me right. He’s actually the one who requested that I set this meeting up between you two. He didn’t want to take me out on a date without your blessing.” You spoke softly, fiddling with your thumbs while you swayed back and forth.
Your fathers ears flicked in the cool night breeze, and his eye contact shot to you in surprise. This didn’t sound like the lo’ak that HE knew. Not the hothead, the fighter, the trouble maker that Jake had told him about. This sounded like a gentleman. Someone who might actually love his daughter. And then he thought about how he met your mother. It was a similar story to you and lo’ak. He was TOO a trouble maker, but when he met your mother, something inside of him changed for the better. Maybe this was some kind of weird parallel.
He sighed, clenching his jaw as he looked out into the distance…thinking about what he was going to say next….
“Dinner is just before sunset. No earlier, no later.” Your father said, standing to his full height. His expression was still, but you could tell that he was opened to meeting lo’ak, properly.
“Oh, Thank you Father! Thank you so much!” You rejoiced, giving your father the biggest hug your little arms could. You could hear the faint chuckle rumbling in his chest as he hugged you back.
- - -
You were over the moon. It was all you could think about as you sat in your room. There was actually a possibility that this could work out. But then it hit you…the anxiety.
This is such an awkward meeting, really. Your father isn’t a fan of lo’ak, and lo’ak knows that. Yet, you have the 2 most important men in your life finally coming face to face. And eywa, they were one and the same. That’s why you liked lo’ak so much, he reminded you of your father. All of the good, and not so good qualities. Two bold personalities in one room? This was going to be an interesting night…
- - -
The next day, you drowned yourself in your daily chores. Just so you could get everything off of your mind. Your nerves were coursing through your entire body so heavily that it was hard to think of anything else BUT tonight. You were also very antsy and “jumpy” today. So when you felt a hand wrap around your arm and pull you behind the nearby tree, you let out a high pitched shriek.
“Woah, woah HEY! Chillll out. It’s just me.” Lo’ak chuckled, holding a finger over his lips to signal for you to be quiet. You let out a huge sigh of relief, backing into the tree behind you.
“You fucking scared me! Are you crazy?” You hissed lowly, punching him in the stomach, yet it didn’t faze him whatsoever.
“Damn, im sorry. We do this everyday, and you’ve never reacted like this. You good?” He asked with his lighthearted smirk that made you melt. You realized that you may have over reacted alittle bit.
“I-Im sorry, lo’ak. I’m just alittle on edge about tonight. That’s all.” You shook your head, clearing your throat.
“Didnt your father say it was ok for me to come over?” He asked, his hand now resting on the bark behind you. “Well, yes! Yes…he did.” You spat. Lo’ak gave you a look as if he wanted you to continue your thought.
“Buuuuttt?” He asked, signaling for you to keep talking. “But, I’m nervous. What if it doesn’t go well?” You whined, pouting up at him as tears began to flood your vision. He stepped alittle closer, caressing your cheek gently.
“It WILL go well, ok? Your fathers gonna love me. I’ll make sure of it. You don’t need to worry your pretty little head. Don’t cry, please? I’ve got this, I SWEAR to you. You trust me?” His tone more serious than you’ve ever heard it before.
“Mhm.” You whined, nodding your head.
“Good girl.” He smiled, shifting his large hand to your neck before pecking your soft lips.
“And plus…you look too good to be crying right now. You got all dressed up for me, huh?” He asked, that playful tone making an appearance again. He took a step back just to admire you. And eywa, you were beautiful.
You were wearing his favorite color, purple. The cloths were alittle more revealing than usual, but he liked that. It just meant that he’d have to work twice as hard to keep the other men away from you. You had the glitter that you liked to wear, all over your body. Not too much, just enough to hit the sun just right. He loved it on you. He didn’t care that his mother would give him dirty looks when he walked into his family hut shining like a fucking disco ball. And your hair…eywa he couldn’t forget about your hair.
It always smelled so good. You wore it in different styles everyday, which was different from the other girls he’d seen. But his favorite style was the 2 Dutch braids. You looked great with them, but he had…other reasons for why he liked them. He would use them as leverage when he fucked you senseless from behind. And ofcourse, you were sporting that same style today.
“Fuuuck.” He whispered, eyeing you up and down. You giggled alittle bit, you loved getting him flustered. He took a few steps closer, now placing both of his hands on the bark behind you.
“You sure know how to take me there, don’t you?” He asked, leaving wet kisses on your neck. Your head flew back against the bark, lip between your teeth as you basked in the pleasure.
“I just wanna eat your sexy ass up.” He groaned, one of his hands sliding down to the small of you back, pulling you flush into him harshly. He had a grip on you so tight that you could really see the muscle definition in his arm.
“Mmm, L-Lo’ak, I’ve gotta go back.” You moaned, haulting his attack on your neck to kiss his lips sloppily. He groaned into the kiss, now sliding his hand down to the plush of your ass, gripping it firmly. You moaned into his mouth, pulling him closer to you if that was even possible.
Maybe you were getting alittle side tracked…but you couldn’t fucking help it. Not with lo’ak all over you, making you feel good. But if this was going to work, you two had to get over this little hurdle first. It was about the bigger picture at the end of the day.
You pulled away quickly, giving him no time to grab you. You wiped your lips and adjusted your loincloth. He growled in frustration, jaw clenching as he wiped his lips with his thumb, eyeing your small frame. You loved seeing him aggravated, it was so damn hot.
“You’re such a fucking tease.” He chuckled angrily. “Well, I have to GO.” You smirked, eyeing him up and down before turning to walk away. You didn’t really get too far, he pulled you flush into his chest by your braids.
“Yeah, ok. Soon I’ll have you…and I mean REALLY have you. And once I get you….I’m not letting up…I’ll see you later.” He whispered in your ear, placing a small peck on the lobe before letting you go and walking off. Leaving you completely disoriented…..and horny.
- - -
The day went on as usual. Still alittle nervous but excited for the possibility that lo’ak could finally be yours.
It was almost time, and your mother was getting dinner ready while your father was setting the table. You…on the hand, were pacing back and forth outside of your families hut, anxiously waiting for lo’aks arrival.
Your palms were sweaty and your heart was racing. The worst possible scenario’s continued to play in your head. You just wished that you could skip all of this, and get to the good part…if there even was one.
“You’re gonna burn a whole in the ground, kid.” Your father spoke, a tinge of playfulness in his tone. You turned quickly, meeting your fathers gaze.
“I-I’m just alittle nervous is all.” You confessed, constantly looking back to see if lo’ak was coming or not.
“If I wasn’t going to give him a FAIR chance, then he wouldn’t have been invited. I’m not going to be biased, or rude. So stop pacing.” He chuckled, arms crossed around his broad chest.
You sighed, feeling alittle bit better about the situation now. You nodded, turning back around to look out for lo’ak. It was silence for a few seconds before your father began to speak again.
“You know…lo’ak was a lot like me when I was his age.” He said, leaning against the foundation of the hut. Your ears perked, turning to look at your father.
“Really? How so?” You asked.
“Well, your uncle was the golden child. He really did everything in his power to live up to our fathers expectations. He listened, pulled his weight and mines most of the time. He stayed out of trouble. Kinda like Neteyam.” He started.
“And you?” You asked. He sighed, looking off into the distance.
“I was a hot head, always in fights. I liked to do my own thing, and couldn’t care less about my father’s expectations for me. I caused a lot of trouble back then, babygirl.” He finished, a look of defeat plastering his face.
“Well what happened? You’re definitely not like that anymore.” You asked curiously. Your father chuckled to himself, smiling ear to ear as his tail began to sway behind him quickly.
“Your mother happened.” He said with pride. A look of hope began to paint your face. You wanted to know more.
“Well go onnn!” You spat, waiting for the rest of this familiar love story. Your father chuckled before continuing.
“Your uncle was supposed to mate with her. But I was the one who LIKED her. And just my luck, she liked me too. We started hanging out, and we fell in love. Her father didn’t approve of this because of my reputation, so we would sneak around. But I don’t know I just…..I wanted something MORE with your mother. So I promised her that I would be good. Be the man that she deserved. And that I did. I would’ve done anything to make her mine.” He confessed. If you weren’t mistaken, you could see tears prickling at your fathers eyes.
“That’s so sweet, dad. Did grandfather ever approve of you?” You asked, curiously.
“It took time but…he did eventually.” Your father nodded. “But I want to give lo’ak a chance because I know what it’s like…to be one big disappointment.” He muttered, ears folded to his skull. This all seemed too familiar, it was almost scary for you. It’s funny how history repeats itself, you thought.
“And speaking of lo’ak…” your father smiled, nudging his head in your direction. You turned around swiftly, and there he was… walking towards your hut with flowers in hand. Your heart began to flutter, and you just couldn’t help the smile that was creeping up on your face. You were so excited to see him, especially after the story that your father had shared with you.
“LO’AK!” You shouted in an excited tone, running towards him. He smiled at you, holding his arms out for your embrace.
“Hey, babygirl.” He chuckled , catching you in one of his arms. He hugged you tightly, his arm wrapped around your middle. He just gave you a small peck on your cheek out of respect for your father before he placed you back on the ground, gracefully.
“These are for you, yawne.” He smiled, placing the flowers in your hand. You giggled, admiring how pretty the bioluminescence flora was.
“They’re gorgeous. Thank you, my love.” You smiled, grabbing his hand. You pulled him towards your hut, where your father was trying his best to hide his smile. He cleared his throat, putting on a serious face when you both reached him.
With your hand in his, lo’ak stretched out his free hand, signing a greeting to your father. Lo’ak took a deep breath before speaking.
“Oel Ngati Kameie, keivìo Te Lepeä Hiìweron’itan.” He spoke confidently, now extending his hand for a hand shake. You waited in anticipation. Watching your father glance at lo’aks hand and then back up at him….it felt like minutes went by. Until a welcoming smile creeped across your fathers face, extending his arms for a hug.
“Oel Ngati Kameie, lo’ak te suli Tsyeyk’itan.” Your father spoke with a small nod. Lo’ak became visibly happy, smiling ear to ear as he embraced your father with a genuine hug. You watched in awe, almost in tears at the scene infront of you.
“How you doin’, kid?” Your father asked, patting lo’ak on the back. “Im doing well, sir. Thank you for asking.” Lo’ak nodded. He was honestly relieved that your father was willing to give him a fair judgment.“That’s great, lo’ak. Im happy to hear that.” He started.
“We’ve gotta talk, ok? Man to man. Just you and I. Deal?” Your father asked. “Ofcourse sir, I completely understand.” Lo’ak gave him a firm nod.
“Y/n, how about you go check on dinner. I’m gonna talk to your little boyfriend here about a few things.” Your father joked, causing you and lo’ak to laugh. “Yes, father.” You nodded before walking into the hut.
“Let’s sit down.” Your father spoke, gesturing at the chairs Infront of him. They both took a seat, staring off into the night sky.
“What are your intentions, lo’ak?” Your father asked calmly. Lo’ak had been waiting to confess his love for you, and this was the perfect time.
“Well, I know I have a bit of a reputation. So, I can see why you would ask that question.” He chuckled before continuing. “But I love, y/n. And I’m trying to change for her, to be the man that she deserves. Because the truth is….I want her to be my mate. But I know I have some work to do if I want to gain your blessing, sir.” Lo’ak finished, feeling proud that he was able to express his feelings the correct way.
“Hmm.” Your father nodded, a smile creeping across his lips. “I have no doubt in my mind that you’ll protect her, and keep her safe as well. I’ve seen you in action before. So I’ll skip that question.” Your father joked, insinuating that lo’aks numerous fights were enough to seal that deal. Lo’ak chuckled at the comment before speaking.
“I’m glad you know that. But I’ll only be fighting if I need to protect HER from now on. No other reasons sir, I swear.” Lo’ak spoke affirmatively.
“Good, Good. And so I’m assuming that you already have a personal hut picked out for you two, right?” Your father asked. It was normal to move in with your mate expeditiously. That’s how it happened with your mother and father, and that’s how it was supposed to happen for you and lo’ak.
“I do, sir. It was a surprise that I’d been working on for some time. I built it myself, just for her.” Lo’ak explained.
“Oh, so you just knew you were going to mate with my daughter?” Your father chuckled, and lo’ak along with him. “Well, I was hoping that I would. And it’s better to be prepared for moments like this.” Lo’ak smiled.
“Hey, I get it! Trust me. When were you planning on moving in?” Your father asked. Lo’ak gulped loudly, hoping that his next answer wouldn’t jeopardize the rapport he had just built with this man.
“Well….with your blessing, ofcourse. I was hoping to move her in tomorrow.” Lo’ak finished his statement more like a question, looking over to your father.
“Hmm.” Your father nodded, staring into the night sky. It was silence for a minute or two while your father took time to think.
“You have my blessing to mate with my daughter. She speaks so highly of you, it’s kinda hard not to say yes. And if she’s happy, then I’m happy.” Your father confessed. Lo’ak mentally cheered, he was so damn happy that everything was going as planned. “Thank you. Thank you so much sir!” Lo’ak smiled.
“I want you to remember this conversation when you’re sitting where I am…talking to YOUR daughters future mate.” Your father laughed, him and lo’ak both standing in unison. Lo’ak chuckled, extending his hand out for another handshake. Your father obliged with a bright smile.
“Take care of my little girl, please. She’s my only daughter. And if ,later down the line, you find out that this just isn’t for you…I just ask that you don’t hurt her….just bring her back to me.” Your father explained with a firm nod.
“Oh, sir. I would never hurt her. I want this forever. I will do anything to keep her happy. And you know I’ll protect her with my life, that’s a promise.” Lo’ak spoke in a serious tone, because he meant every fucking word.
“Thank you, lo’ak.” Your father nodded.
“Let’s eat, then!” You father cheered, guiding lo’ak into the hut for dinner.
The night went better than you expected. It was filled with joy, and laughter. You couldn’t have asked for a better way to end your day. And once it was over, your father and mother said their goodbyes to lo’ak.
“Hey, how about you two go out or something? No need to sneak around anymore.” Your father joked, winking at lo’ak. Lo’ak understood immediately. It was time to show you the home that he built for his future family.
“Ah! You’re absolutely right, sir.” Lo’ak agreed, taking you by the hand. You were alittle confused. Now all of the sudden your father and lo’ak were in cahoots on something that you had no knowledge of.
“Where are we going this late?” You chuckled, looking back at your father. He sighed loudly.
“I finally give you to the man, and now you want to ask all these questions. Just go with him.” You father laughed, causing an uproar of laughter from everyone.
“You trust me?” He asked, eyebrow cocked as he awaited an answer. “Ofcourse I do.” You smiled. Lo’ak kissed you on the forehead before pulling you towards the hut door.
“Uhh, what time should I have her back?” Lo’ak asked. You both looking back at your father.
“I think we’re way past that now. She’s all yours. You two have fun tonight, and be safe…..NO BABIES YET PLEASE!” Your father spoke, shoving you both out of the hut and closing the door. You and lo’ak both glanced at eachother before laughing in unison, and you were off to your secret location….
You two had been walking for about 10 minutes before you came across this great big hut. It was the biggest one you’d ever seen. It was nicely built as well. You could tell that whoever worked on this, had some kind of personal connection to it.
“Lo’ak? What’s going on?” You asked curiously. He smiled at you before opening the door and guiding you in.
“Welcome home, yawne.” He spoke softly, closing the door behind him. You gasped, looking around the beautiful hut. Nicely woven rugs covered the floor. There was a huge sitting area in the middle of the hut. There were steps that lead up to an opened loft area, where a huge sized cot laid. It was gorgeous…and all yours?
“Home? Like…you and I?” You asked, turning around to face him. He nodded at you, walking alittle closer.
“I spent months making this for us, because I knew that I’d make you mine one day. I’ve been making plans for us, baby. I want this to be real. I want you to be my mate…” he confessed, a heartwarming, proud smile plastering across his face. You never thought a guy like lo’ak could be so romantic. It really took you by surprise. He deserved the world for the way he’s been treating you.
“Lo’ak, I love you so much. I wanna mate with you too.” You explained, a hint of lust in your voice that he didn’t quite pick up on yet.
“Oh, I love you more baby. Im glad we’re on the same page.” He nodded, smiling at you innocently.
“Hmm. I wanna mate with you…right now.” You confessed, head tilted slightly as you walked over to him. Caressing his chest.
“Oh?” He spoke, eyebrow cocked as he watched your hands roam his body. His muscles began to tense at your soft touch.
“Yeah. I wanna start that family we’ve been talking about. Remember?” You asked, backing him into the couch until he plopped down on the plush surface. He looked visibly flustered, guess he wasn’t really expecting this from you tonight.
“I-I remember.” He nodded, adjusting his hips as he watched you intently. You began to take off your items, piece by piece.
“Damn. You’re coming outta that shit pretty quickly, don’t you think?” He asked with a lustful tone as he watched each item hit the floor until you were completely naked before him. You smirked, dropping to your knees infront of him.
“Not quick enough. I need you right now.” You confessed, palming his huge bulge. His head dipped back into the couch as he hissed loudly.
“Fuck, you know I hate when you tease. Just take it, baby. It’s all yours.” He moaned, his head shooting back down to where you were. That was all you needed to hear. Damn the strings of his loincloth, you began to rip it off of his hips until his aching cock was visible. It was jumping with every heartbeat as precum oozed from the tip.
You immediately began to stroke his cock, nice and slow how he liked it. He was quickly becoming a mess under you, and you haven’t even done anything yet. Maybe he was still horny from earlier in the day, but he seemed alittle more sensitive than usual.
You began kitty licking the tip before sucking on it, swirling your wet tongue around it until he was squirming under you. Then without warning, you engulfed his entire length. Immediately bobbing your head up and down his large shaft nice and slow.
“Ohhh that’s it. Juuust like that, goddamn.” He moaned, thrusting his hips into your mouth gently. Your amber eyes shot up at him, watching him bask in the pleasure. He was so hot. His eyebrows were furrowed as a thin layer of sweat began to form on his skin. He would let out a small whimper with every roll of your tongue. You were driving that man crazy.
“You’re k-killing me, baby. Gonna make me cum in that pretty mouth.” He muttered through a clench jaw. He grabbed the back of your head, steadying it to fuck your throat.
You opened your mouth wide and let him use you as his own personal little fuck toy. You began to gag, tears falling down your cheeks as your eyes crossed.
“Yesss, look at that. Only time I like watching your sexy ass cry.” He groaned, muscles contracting as his peak was nearing quickly.
“Shit baby, I-I’m boutta nut.” He moaned, eyes rolling to the back of his head as his mouth fell agape. He used his free hand to grip the plush of the couch while his head dipped back in pure bliss.
“Mhmmm, that’s ittttt.” He growled, releasing his load into your mouth. Ropes and ropes of cum finding refuge on your tongue. He slid you off of his cock carefully, a loud gasp parting your lips as his seed flowed down your chin. Your were all teary eyed and flustered, it was so hot.
“Are you gonna fuck me now?” You asked, slurping the access seed off of his balls. He finally caught his breath, watching you intently.
“Hmm. You want this dick, don’t you? You need it right?” He asked in a soft yet lustful tone. You simply nodded.
“I want your babies in me. I wanna be pregnant with your children, lo’ak. Give it to me, please.” You begged, playing with your breasts sensually.
“Oh, now you want my babies huh? Want me to make you a mom, right? Like the little slut you are. You just need to be filled up reaaaal nice, yes?” He asked, standing to his full height infront of your kneeling figure.
“Yes, daddy.” You nodded, waiting for him to have his way with you. He clenched his jaw with a low growl. Without warning, he picked you up, walking you over to the wooden table.
He plopped you down and began attacking your neck while simultaneously scenting you. You were his and ONLY his now. It was time that everyone knew.
His strong arm was wrapped around your middle, bringing you closer to him as he stood between your legs. You could feel the slick pooling onto the wood beneath you, smearing your thighs and making a mess. You were so ready for him.
He pulled away, grabbing his cock to line up with your entrance. Before you knew it, he was buried deep inside of you. You both moaning loudly as he began to thrust into you nice and deep. His strokes were rhythmic, rolling his hips into yours with a fucking purpose.
He placed his hands on either sides of your thighs firmly while he teased your lips with his. Ghosting them as he moaned from the intense pleasure.
“This pussy is driving me crazy, baby. It’s so fucking good.” He smirked, against your lips creating a great amount of tension between you two.
“Think you can make me a father, hmm? Wanna carry my babies for me like a good girl?” He asked, tilting his head to get a better angle of your pleasure filled face. His thrusts began to get harder, rocking the entire hut with his force.
“Y-Yessss!” You whined, tears blurring your vision. You and lo’ak have had sex numerous times. But this time was overwhelming, and oh so fucking good.
“Want me to fill this pussy up? Until you’re leaking my seed? Hmm? You need this shit, don’t you?” He teased, his lips still ghosting yours as he fed you deep strokes. You couldn’t even think straight, you were a fucked out mess. Blabbering complete nonsense, going dumb for the pleasure.
“I-I need it. Need it s-s-oooo bad, daddy.” You whimpered, arching your back and dipping your head to the ceiling. He used that as the perfect opportunity to nip at your neck with his sharp fangs. Still simultaneously playing in your guts like his life depended on it.
Your walls began to flutter around his cock, signaling that you were close…very close. “I-I’m gonna cum. D-Daddy, you’re gonna make me cummm!” You cried, your pretty face balling up in pleasure. You felt him smirk against your neck, speeding up his pace to get you there quicker.
“Mhm, cum for daddy. Let it all out, you deserve it pretty girl.” He praised, placing a few more kisses on your neck before his lips were inches away from yours again. You were in complete euphoria, nothing like you had ever experienced before. And you knew this orgasm was going to ruin you in the best way possible.
“Wait, I think I-I’m gonna squirt, lo’ak.” You whispered, panting heavily as you began to push on his stomach lazily.
“Yeah? It feels so good that you wanna squirt for me, huh?” He teased, his thumb finding its way to your clit, rubbing it gently to stimulate you further.
Your mouth flew opened, silent screams escaping while he kissed your bottom lip. “That’s it, squirt for me then baby.” He nodded, working your pussy in every way possible. Your whole body started to seize, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you began to come undone. Your squirt painting lo’aks abdomen.
“Ohhhh shit.” Lo’ak moaned. Your orgasm was triggering his. The constant fluttering of your walls was desperately trying to milk him dry.
“Y/n, im cumming…o-ohhh fuuck im cumming!” He groaned, eyes rolling in pleasure as he finally released inside of you. Ropes and ropes of endless seed dumping into your empty womb. It felt so good, that it had you cumming again.
“Yesss daddy, that’s itttt!” You screamed, legs completely numb at this point. He fucked you both through your orgasms. You two becoming an overstimulated mess for eachother.
“I gotta fill you up again. I-I need it.” He growled, pulling out of you to flip you over aggressively. He pinned your wrists behind your back with just one of his giant hands. The other one guiding his cock back into you. You both moaning at the feeling again.
He set a merciless rhythm from the start, fucking his seed deep into you so there’s no excuse why you’re not pregnant in the weeks to come. The heavy smacks caused by his deep thrusts were ringing through the hut. He was fucking the daylights out of you, using you as his personal toy that he could do with whatever he so pleased.
“I told you that I wouldn’t let up when I finally got you, remember? HMM?” He asked, jaw clenched and eyes focused on the recoil of your ass.
“Yes! I-I remember, daddy…I remember!” You cried, your voice rippling from his forceful thrusts that were single handedly shaking the entire fucking room.
“I’m gonna breed you as many times as I feel like it tonight. WHERE EVER I feel like it! I’m gonna breed this pussy on the couch, on the floor, on that fucking cot I built! On this goddamn table! I don’t give a fuck, got it?!” He growled, pulling your 2 Dutch braids for leverage.
“Mhmm! I understand, I-I swearrr!” You screamed, your orgasm creeping up on you once more. He shifted his hands to your ass, holding your cheek open to watch his creamy cock sliding in and out of your tight cunt.
“Ohh…yeah” he groaned, his bottom lip in between his teeth. He was close again. So ready to fill you up for a second time.
“I-im gonna nut in this pussy again, fuuuuck.” He moaned, smacking your ass a few times until his huge handprints were visible on you. He continued to expertly smash into your sweetspot with every hard thrust.
“Ohhh great mother, please! I-I’m cumming again, I’m cumming again lo’ak!” You screamed to the top of your lungs, your voice becoming horse and strained. You began to seize again, screaming loudly as you released for a third time.
“The great mother cannot save you from ME. You’ve gotta take this dick, tonight.” He teased, smacking your ass again as he fucked you through your orgasm. And just like last time, the fluttering of your sweet walls triggered yet another orgasm from lo’ak.
“Ah..hah Fuuuck!” He moaned, dumping another huge load into your womb, fucking it into you harshly. You were a whimpering mess, the feeling of his warm seed seeping into your womb made your head spin.
“That’s right, take all of it like a good girl.” He grunted, finally thrusting into you gently. Your eyes crossed in pleasure once more as he pulled out slowly.
He held your hips in place, so that you wouldn’t fall. Your legs were shaking badly, his seed dripping down your thighs slowly.
“Shit. That tight little pussy can’t hold all of daddy’s cum, I guess.” He teased. He flipped you over to face him. Sliding into you again, He shifted your trembling legs over his arms so that the bend of your knee’s were resting gently over the bend of his arms. He picked you up off of the table and began fucking you slow and deep.
“I-I can’t cum again. I-I can’t.” Your voice was gone, so it came out as a strained whisper. He engaged in a sloppy kiss with you as he continued to fuck into you expertly.
“I’ll make you cum again, don’t worry. I told you, I’m not letting up. I’m gonna keep cumming in this pussy.” He whispered against your quivering lips, maintaining a dangerous amount of eye contact.
He began to speed up his pace, squelching sounds filling the hut as you screamed with the little bit of voice you had left. He was hitting all the right spots yet again. “I love you.” He smirked, eyeing your lips before licking his.
“I-I love you too, daddy.” You whined, and as promised, you felt that familiar feeling in your lower abdomen. You couldn’t believe that you were about to cum again. It was like he knew your body better than YOU did.
“Someone’s about to cum again, I can feel it.” He groaned, smiling against your lips before pecking them gently.
“Fuck, I-I can’t stop!” You screamed, head going limp as you let loose for the 4th time tonight. He let out a dark laugh at your pathetic little whining.
“Yeah? I can’t stop either. I’m right behind you.” He teased, fucking you hard and deep. “Mhmm, here it comes again baby. J-Just for you.” He groaned, looking you in your eyes while he came inside of you again, emptying his balls in your womb for a third time.
“Shittt! No more, daddy. P-Please, I can’t take it.” You pleaded, wrapping your trembling arms around his neck. He laughed at you, walking up the steps with you in his hands.
“You must take me for a fucking joke.” He whispered in your ear before laying you down on the cot gently. You knew that meant that he wasn’t done with you. You turned over lazily, trying to crawl away from him. That didn’t work out well for you at all.
He flipped you back over, pulling you down to him. “Need some energy? I think it’s about that time baby.” He titled his head grabbing his queue from behind his back. You looked up at him with hooded eyes, sitting up on your elbows.
You nodded frantically, grabbing your queue as well, giving it to him. You were too tired to do it yourself.
He wasted no time. He had been waiting for this moment for so long, and it was finally here. Your trendils collided with his and your pupils blew. You could feel everything. It was like nothing you’d ever experienced before.
“Damnnn.” He moaned, separating your trembling legs. Sliding into you this time felt different, for both of you. It was so intense that it was hard to describe.
“Ohhh that’s so much better.” He moaned, gripping your waist to bring you down on his cock like a fuck toy. You were a mess yet again, so loud that he was sure that someone heard you at this point.
He rolled his hips into yours, fucking into you nice and slow. Taking his time with you, he didn’t want this feeling to end so quickly. He had to savor it.
“Fuck me deeper…harder. Please.” You cried, spreading your legs wider for him. He clenched his jaw, your pleads making his head spin. He took your legs, and placed them over his shoulder before bending down until you two were sharing the same breath. You were practically folded in half while he fucked into you harder and deeper, just like you asked.
His hands were placed on either sides of your head while his sticky pelvis collided with yours repeatedly. He thought you were loud before…you were hitting high notes for him now.
“That’s it, let it out baby. Give it to me.” He nodded before engaging in yet another sloppy kiss. One that could shut you up completely as he continued his attack on your worn out cunt.
“I love you. I love you so much, y/n.” He spoke against your lips. “I-I love you too!” You moaned, eyes rolling to the back of your head. Your walls began to flutter around him again.
“Mmm cum for me, then. One last time, and I’ll stop beating this pussy up, yeah?” He smiled, fucking into your sweetspot quickly. And you let go for the fifth time, squirting on lo’ak again.
“You’ve been such a good girl, tonight.” He moaned, his orgasm just seconds away. “H-Have I?” You asked deliriously.
“Mhmm, and I’ve got a special surprise for good girls like you. Ready?” He groaned, lip between his teeth as he watched your face contorted continuously.
“Yess!” You screamed. His eyebrows scrunched, letting out a guttural moan before emptying his final load into your womb. His eyes rolled back, fucking you through both of your orgasms.
Full was an understatement. You were STUFFED to the fucking brim. So much so that you felt queasy. But a good kind of queasy.
“Now THAT was amazing.” He panted, pulling out of you lazily. Strings of his seed sticking you two together. Once he unhanded you, you curled up into a ball, trembling badly. He gently disconnected his queue from yours before tending to you. Cleaning you up, getting you water, and putting you down for bed. You were knocked out, so sleepy that you were snoring. It was cute honestly.
He was so happy that he finally had you. And that your father allowed him to take care of you from now on.
Your father…. Lo’ak thought.
“NO BABIES YET PLEASE.” Rang through his head, and his eyes widened when he realized….
There was no doubt in his mind that you would be pregnant in a couple of weeks. Even the blind could see that. As many times as he bred you…shit, you might have twins.
He had fucked up…big time….
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alexanderwales · 7 days ago
Text
Notes on 3000 miles
Last year my doctor told me that I had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and a high resting heartrate. So I started biking on an exercise bike, and by my best estimations, I'm either close to hitting 3000 miles or have already gone past that.
I should clarify that this wasn't all at once. I took many breaks.
So here are some notes.
When I started, I was on an exercise bike that my wife had gotten from her work. It wasn't the best, but it was free, and I made a deal with myself that if I biked every day for a month, then I could justify getting something better. I really really did not want to buy a piece of exercise equipment that would just sit in the house gathering dust, because that would feel awful ... but I do kind of wish that I had gotten the better bike sooner, because it removed some of the "friction" of exercise, where it felt like there were too many reasons not to get on the bike. The new exercise bike (a refurbished Peleton off Facebook marketplace that my wife got me for Christmas) really does just feel and move better. I think the general principle of not doing costly monetary commitments until you've shown costly personal commitment is a good one, however.
Blood pressure is in normal range. Cholesterol is in normal range. Resting heartrate is in normal range. This was all the case three months in, and this level of cardio is more than enough to maintain it.
Right now, I bike for thirty minutes a day, going 8-10 miles according to the bike. That range is enormous, because it represents vastly different amounts of work. Going 10 miles in 30 minutes is 20 miles an hour, and I keep the resistance relatively high, so by the end of it I'm always panting. By contrast, going 8 miles makes me feel like I didn't put in enough work.
My goal every day is sweat-based and completely qualitative. I want to soak through a shirt. This means that doing more laundry than I'd prefer to, which is an unanticipated consequence of the biking. It's also, compared to all the metrics the bike gives me, a very clear sign that I am actually exercising my body "properly" in a way that's achieving something.
I did some of the Peleton classes, and found a lot of the metrics to be motivating, but ... eh. Exercise is mostly about being healthy and maintaining my body, so my current strategy, for the last six months, has been to either shut the brain down or keep it fully engaged in something that passes the exercise time. Usually this means a TV show, especially a foreign one with subtitles, which need slightly more brainpower.
The final two minutes is always the worst. I'm just ready to be done with it. Sometimes there's gas left in the tank, but I still feel sweaty, thirsty, and overheated. I have a water bottle, and I drink from it while I bike, and I have a fan pointed at me that I turn on once I'm warmed up, but I always have a sense, in those last two minutes, of "finally I'm done". I tried the thinking man's solution, only biking for 28 minutes, and this did not help. In my entire year of biking a half hour a day, I didn't ever elect to go into overtime.
I initially lost ten pounds, then slowly gained it back. I am, in fact, overweight, but I'm holding more or less steady now, and there have definitely been some body composition changes, with muscle replacing fat. I went down about four inches at the waist. I've changed very little about how I eat (which is 90% meals that I cook myself, and a daily coffee drink of some kind, usually made myself with sugar/cream/chocolate). Biking amounts to 300-400 calories a day or something like that, so I'm presumably eating more to compensate and just not realizing it.
Mental health has been rocky, but that's just sort of how it is for me. I definitely feel less mentally well on days that I don't bike, and feel better afterward, but I have no idea how tight the correlation is, and if I had been keeping track on a mood tracker, I'm not sure I would be able to sus out from self-reported mood alone whether or not I was biking.
During the summer I replaced a lot of indoor exercise bike stuff with outdoor biking. My son has only recently learned to bike, so he's been with me many of these times. Usually that means that we're either biking a lot less distance, or we're biking for a lot longer time at much lower intensity, sometimes both. There's a bike path that's downhill from our house which goes for maybe six miles, with some good, clear turn back points, but that means a fairly arduous uphill to get back home. If I lived in a place where the weather wasn't frigid for almost half the year, I would probably be doing outdoor biking more.
I think the most important thing, if you're doing exercise every day, is making sure that you're doing it in such a way that it's sustainable and virtually incapable of injuring you. This mostly means proper form. Early on, I had a habit of pressing down the right pedal with the outside edge of my foot, and after fifteen minutes of doing that, the muscles in the foot would be aching and uncomfortable. I'm not sure why I was doing that, but it was difficult to get myself to bike in a way that wouldn't be putting strain on me.
I think it's okay to skip a day ... if it's for the right reason. Of the days that I've skipped, I always try to make sure the reason isn't "fuck it, I don't want to". I should either be feeling sick, feeling like I need to rest, or replacing biking with some other form of exercise like a hike in the woods or some weightlifting or something. If I start skipping days because I just don't feel like it, that's where the whole scheme falls apart.
I am currently sort of wondering how long this is going to go on for, and I think the answer is "for the rest of my life", or at least until I'm unable to keep it up for whatever reason. I don't think there's any particular reason to prefer an exercise bike (or regular bike) over running or rowing or some other form of cardio, but I think I have proven to myself that this is cardio I can do daily and stick with it to the level that is probably necessary for me to stay healthy. I'm not committed to doing it for the rest of my life, since in theory some other form of cardio might come along and sweep me off my feet.
I do wish that I had started earlier in my life, even if daily exercise has not been the panacea for mental health that I had been kind of hoping it would be. I hope that I have the willpower and wisdom to keep up with it indefinitely.
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