#really hate the fact that a large amount of people HAVE to move here now tho tbh.

[creatorbiaze]

i moved from Q to Tumblr before it was cool /j

[ashc-from-ao3]

You’re really soft

tASM peter Parker x male teen reader

(Y/n) was walking hurriedly towards his home, a friend had thrown a party and invited the whole school and naturally when everyone got together some idiot brought booze. And of course other idiots drank said booze, (Y/n) was one of those idiots, he was drunker than he had ever remembered being and in his drunken state walking home, alone ,past midnight, in the slightly shady part of New York seemed like a grand idea. He giggled as he stumbled over a crack in the sidewalk, up ahead a stray cat was startled by him and yowled before running into a alleyway.

"OH MY GOD! KITTY, KITTY COME LOVE MEEEEEE!" The drunk teen stumbled into the alleyway intent on loving the poor stray cat.

"Well lookie what we have here, a little boy. All by himself at night, need some help getting home sweetie?" Normally (Y/n) would have the common sense to turn around and try to get away from the large man that now loomed in the back of the ally. Said man lunged forward and grabbed his arm startling him and causing him to scream. Half a second later a white object hit the man's arm and attached it to the brick wall closest to him. Three more projectiles darted forward, one attached to the man's other arm and one grabbed (Y/n) around the waist and tugged him backwards into the embrace of one Spiderman. (Y/n) giggled at the mob,net and snuggled into the superheroe's arms. He could practically feel the hatred that the web slinger was shooting at hisattacker when suddenly both him and spiderman where swinging from building to building (Y/n) gave a short yelp when the ride started but as it continued he calmed down and laughed as the lights of the city flew past, he could have sworn that he heard a soft chuckle come from Spiderman but he had little time to dwell on the fact before he was setting him down in front of her apartment.

"Are your parent home? Do you have anyone staying with you?" (Y/n) Shook his head vigorously, his parents where rich, almost as rich as the Osborne family and never wanted a child, when he was born they bought an appartment and hired a nanny to take care of him 24/7 as he grew they continued sending, what to them was small meaningless amounts of money and they lived their lives without ever actually seeing him. Most people would grow up hating their parents and being snobbish but he had grown up nice, caring and with a big heart, he never used the full sum of the money his parents would have automatically deposited into his bank account each month so he often sent it to people who needed it more. He bought cloths at Value Village and bought half price food, now that he was old enough he no longer had a caretaker and he was doing fine. The drunk boy tried to tell Spiderman this but only came up with.

"Noooooooppppppe, me alone" before almost falling, Spiderman sighed and swept an arm under his knees and brought him back into his arms, he questioned him about where he slept and he pointed it out after some difficulties. The masked man seemed very familiar to him but he couldent place his finger on what it was. When he reached his room he placed him under the covers and was about to leave when.

"Stay" he turned around and sighed, Peter had had a huge crush on (Y/n) for ages now, he figured a rich, handsome boy would never look at him twice so he never made a move or showed any affection towards him. He finally made up his mind and, still in his outfit slipped under the covers.

(Y/n) Woke up with a yawn, he had sleep for a few hours and felt a little better. His hangover hadent hit yet but the alcohol was no longer in his system. Something shifted beside her and a gentle 'hmmm' was heard, he twisted around to see who it was and almost shrieked, it was Spiderman but his mask had come off during his sleep and showed the face of the one classmate he would never suspect. Peter Parker, he always wanted to be friends with him but he was always distant, it hurt him as he had developed a small crush on the bruenett. He figured he thought he was snobbish and rude and hence why he avoided him, so he kept his crush under lock and key and only told his close friend Gwen Stacy. Giving into temptation (Y/n) reached over and gently ran his hand through his hair, Peter mumbled and reached up and grabbed his hand before pulling it down to rest on his chest. His eyes blinked open and stared in shock at (Y/n) when he realized his mask had come off. An adorable smile broke over his face and a giggle escaped him.

"You're really soft." He said looking a little sheepish at getting caught. Peter smiled as well and chuckled.

"Am I now?" (Y/n) Nodded and looked thoughtful.

"So um.......you're Spiderman? No wonder you never wanted anything to do with me, why would you want to hang out with me when you could have literally any girl or boy in New York, I mean they all adore you." Peter looked confused.

"I thought you didn't want anything to do with me, after all your rich and handsome.....no you're beautiful and nice, and I have had the biggest crush on you since like forever. and I could go on but I'm going to stop before I make a bigger fool of myself."

"Y-you have a crush on me? Oh wow, I thought you thought I was just a snotty, snobbish, rich boy. But you have a crush on me. Plot twist, my crush actually likes me back!" In his excitement he didn't notice Peter move closer to her until he felt the gentle pressure of peter's lips on his own. His surprise froze him for a second before he wrapped his arms around his neck, threaded his fingered in his hair and kissed back. Peter placed on hand between his shoulder blades and another at the small of his back before pressing himself even closer to him, he licked (Y/n)'s bottom lip and when he opened his mouth his tongue explored eagerly. (Y/n) Pulled back before it got too heated and snuggled into Peter's chest.

"So (Y/n) wanna go out on a date with me?" (Y/n) Nodded and wrapped his arms around Peter's waist.

"That's would be nice, I am still having trouble wrapping my head around the fact that you actually like me." Peter smiled and started moving backwards to snuggle with (Y/n) while lying in a comfortable position. The two started to drift off again, it was still early after all and just as they fell asleep Peter mumbled.

"You know, you're really soft to."

[thevoidstaredback]

Hi i don't know if you take writing requests but if you do could you write a villain with mind reading powers?

I most definitely will take writing requests! Though, I won't write anything that makes me uncomfortable. Villains, though, I can do.

I will warn that this is gonna have some heavy topics, so here's your Content Warning: Affair outside wedlock, intense invasions of privacy, briefly implied transphobia, threats/execution of threats against a school/students

You wanted a villain, so here's a tragic villain with a backstory. Lemme know what you think🖤

(Like all my stories, this is not beta read/peer reviewed)

The Outlier

Max had known since he was a kid that he was special; stranger than other kids. For as long as he could remember, he was different; the outlier.

The first give away was the way his parents looked at him. Side eyes when they thought he wasn't looking. Whispers when they thought he couldn't hear. Smiles that didn't seem genuine, and only got faker as he got older.

The second tell was the looks he got from other kids. Girls weren't supposed to like the colour blue. Girls weren't supposed to like action figures and bugs. Good thing he's not a girl, then.

The third, and biggest thing, was that he could hear voices. They didn't usually talk to him directly, and were mostly whispers in the wind. When he told his parents, they told him it was cute to have imaginary friends. His parents were his parents, so they must've been right when they said he'd grown out of them.

But the voices didn't go away. They only got louder.

By the time he was ten years old, he could match the voices in his head to those of his classmates. The one always thinking about how cute Joshua is was Cindy's voice. The one constantly thinking about lunch and recess was Ethan.

All of the voices were so mundane and never really strayed from their normal thoughts. The bigger voices, though, the voices of adults, were interesting to listen to.

His teacher, Mrs. Kingston, only ever had three topics on her mind: Anticipation to get away from her students, her next lesson, or how cute Mr. Spring - who is not her husband - was.

Shame. Max liked this teacher. Oh, well.

As Max got older, the voices got louder, but he could still ignore them as though they were white noise. He'd even managed to figure out how to focus on one voice, making it louder while the rest faded out.

That's how he found out, in middle school, that the eighth grade chemistry teacher, Ms. Adam, was planning to blow the joint. Literally.

Her class had been working with some chemicals that, while mixed in small, were harmless, but were deadly in large amounts.

She, apparently, was on a downward spiral and no one knew anything. Well, almost no one. Max had known Ms. Adam was going through some stuff, but he'd always filtered her out. Not his circus, not his monkey.

Regardless, he needed to tell someone. If he didn't, then the whole school would be blown up by the end of tomorrow! As much as he hated school, he had grown attached to some of the people here. Besides, he quite liked living in spite of everyone he didn't think he deserved to. It was funny to watch them turn red.

Maybe that should've been the first red flag.

The second the bell rang, he was in the halls and quickly moving to the principal's office. He'd know what to do! He's an adult! He's the adult in charge of the rest of the adults, so they had to listen to him!

But adults don't believe children. Children don't know any better. Children don't know anything.

But Max did. Max knee everyone. Max knew people and their thoughts better than anyone else. And Max knew, for a fact, that the adults had failed him.

He managed to get thirty-two students out and to the far side of the field before the building went up in flames.

It was that event that ultimately brought him to where he now was.

He'd always been a smart kid, using other people's inner dialogues on top of his own knowledge to get things done. In a year, he amassed a following of other kids. Kids that had been failed by adults. Kids that shouldn't have had to grow up before their time. Kids who had only ever wanted to be kids.

Together, they grew. Together, they quietly took over the crime ring in the city. Together, the planned for expansion into the world. Now, together, they would take over the city. Then, together, they would work to take over the country.

If the adults were going to fail the children, then there was no need for them. The system was broken by adults who intended for their children to fix it, so the children were going to fix it. Adults had no place in the new system.

Max became The Outlier. The children he'd taken on as his own, despite being younger than a lot of them, became The Mavericks. Adults all over had become The Unwanted.

The Outlier would not allow The Mavericks to kill. He would rather have the blood haunting his nightmares for all eternity than to let even a drop stain the hands of a child. A group of older kids, however, disagreed. They named themselves Bohemians and they became his generals. They became the kill order. And The Mavericks never knew execution.

There were some who opposed the ordered death of The Unwanted, but they were few and far between. If they spoke too loudly, they became a part of the Court. They spoke in favor of adults, acting as their jury when brought before The Outlier and Bohemians. They never won a case.

Max had made it known, when he had taken over the city, that it was adults that had failed him - them - so it was adults that would pay.

Children were innocent, unable to do any wrong. They were to be protected from the people that would only continue to fail them.

But, quietly, in the privacy and secrecy of his room, Max dreaded the day he'd grow up. It's inevitable, he know, but he still fears that he'd become like them. He didn't want to be an adult because he didn't want to fail anyone.

Storyboard

[northwest-cryptid]

I need people to understand that I also hate tumblr's two-faced way of treating trans nsfw media (or even just treating all trans media like it's inherently NSFW) it's gross and it's awful that they do that shit.

But we're not going to change tumblr, you gotta accept that.

We're not going to actually do anything with our words, the more you post about it the more you generate activity on this site; the more money they make.

They literally DO NOT CARE.

The thing is that I'm not trying to say their behavior is okay, nor do I think they should "get away with it" but the truth is, we're not going to make any progress complaining about it no matter how right we are.

If you ACTUALLY want to do something, you need to find alternatives, raise awareness for those alternatives; and move to a better site.

The unfortunate reality is that this is their site, and they CAN run it in their stupid bigoted way. If I or anyone else gets deactivated that's their choice, they actually do not need to give us a reason as dumb as that is.

I need you to understand you don't even own anything here, when you upload it; it's tumblrs now. That's why they can sell it to AI companies and shit.

I would ALSO love the world to be this perfect ideal place where we can yell at the bad guys until justice happens, but that's unfortunately not the reality of it.

I'm not telling you that you can't do something about it. I'm saying the thing you're doing about it isn't going to work, it's not a logical solution; it's an idealistic solution.

I wouldn't watch 12 other trans people walk into a bar, get the shit beat out of them; and then walk in as an openly trans person and say "I demand you all start accepting me and not beat the shit out of me" and then get surprised when they in fact, do beat the shit out of me.

There are pretty clear signs that say "we're gonna beat the shit out of you for being trans" and like trust me I get it, you've been coming to this place for a long time; it's only recently gotten bad (to you.)

That doesn't mean you have any power here though, it doesn't mean you can actually bring any real change.

Speaking up is great but it makes you a target and it makes tumblr money.

Listen the problem isn't "tumblr is transphobic to women" it's "trans-women on this site are not safe, and don't feel safe." You need to focus on the problem, the real problem; because you can fight tumblr staff all day until they deactivate you and all it's doing is putting money in their pocket. All the while, trans-women are still not safe and still don't feel safe on this site.

If you instead, target the actual problem and figure out how to protect trans women, give them alternatives; find places for us to exist as trans individuals, places that aren't empty wastelands of websites. Then we can mass migrate there; we can actually feel and be safe, and guess what; it will hit tumblr's activity numbers, they'll become less attractive to advertisers, and with a lot of their trans and LGBT community moving elsewhere, they won't really get anywhere marketing to that demographic.

Suddenly staff will need to make a real choice, either stop being so damn transphobic so a large portion of your userbase returns to your site, generating activity and bringing in money. Or remain just as fucking bigoted, and lose out on a large amount of activity, ads, and revenue.

They don't care about you, they care about money.

When you complain and speak up and generate a big post that gets a ton of notes; you add to their activity and make their site look profitable to investors and advertisers.

That isn't going to make them listen to you, it's going to make them do nothing because it's going to make them money.

YOU are their product.

They want to claim that the LGBT community here isn't really that big, I remember the post that pointed out some shit like "less than 25% of users on tumblr are actually LGBT" or whatever. Great, you know how you fight that?

Make a poll? No.

Make a big post that generates a ton of interaction and activity? God no that's exactly what they wa- oh fuck we did both of those things didn't we?

Yea no, you move sites; you stop generating activity, you prove it through the site going cold, silence on the front where there was once a bustling marketplace of activity.

Hit them where it hurts, make it noticeable; it's not going to be easy I never said it would be easy. However, if you actually care and want to make change; then our next step should be to figure out where we can mass migrate.

If we all migrate to various places, those websites lack the community we have here; and they're counting on that. You'll always come back to tumblr because it's where your community is, it's where everything is.

If we move as a unit, not only will it be more impactful on their numbers, but it will allow us to move AS a community; everything in one place, just not here. Somewhere else, somewhere better.

[nerdydowntherabbithole]

FINALLY FINISHED THE ITERATORS I CAN FINALLY SHOW. Outfits need work but eh. Anyway, here's Forward Movement and Upward Movement! A pair of maybe a little bit really fucked up guys. Lore and whatnot under the cut!

So! FM and UM, often referred to as FU or FUM, was an INCREDIBLY experimental iterator. Largely because half of their purpose was not only trying to solve the Great Problem, but also solve the problem of the rains that were starting to drown places. To do this, they ended up making a very, VERY odd iterator. FM was an iterator built to, quite literally, WALK to find what they need. His can is a quite small one, forced to try to cut down on weight to be able to move. Due to her size, she actually doesn't even reach over the clouds, and instead has been heavily reinforced to deal with it. However it was BECAUSE he couldn't reach the clouds that UM was made and proceeded to be plonked down right on top of him. UM, as you might imagine considering the name, was an iterator built to FLY. The idea for her was, more or less, to gather and recycle the clouds to let them out in much smaller bursts so less rain would form. She is also built to have massive wind power that allows her to blow entire storms in a different direction. Her cloud gathering was also an integral part to FM, as the two are connected and the water she takes in is also used to power him. FUM was,,,,,not that big a success. It worked a bit, but in the end it wasn't enough to make any more like them. Normally this would get them shut down and taken for parts. HOWEVER. Despite not fixing the problem, FM specifically was an INCREDIBLY serious and devoted iterator. She took the job very seriously, and despite all the oddities of the structure, was one of the most devoted to finding the triple affirmative period. UM not as much, but she was a very big part of FM and the two could not work without each other. The ancients decided this devotion was a good enough reason to keep them going, so while they could not built any cities on top of them or anything, they kinda just. Let the two go. NOW. Personality wise? These two are disliked by many, and it is,,,,,rlly not for no reason. FM is an incredibly serious, workaholic, callous, and kinda mean iterator. His immense devotion has not petered out in the SLIGHTEST despite the ancients being gone, completely believing that it doesn't matter and they need to fulfill their purpose, ancients or not. Generally does Not Care what other people think or what they are doing. Also frequently steals people's water, and does not care if you are ok with that or not. FM is also equipped with canons and other combat things to use against predators that try to attack them, and have used these things to quite literally take out probably a non zero amount of iterators. Despite being generally cordial, FM is beloved by nobody.

UM meanwhile is a catty, gossipy, flamboyant, reckless, generally bitchy kind of gal. Also kinda very creepy. Loves to get in other people's business, doesn't care what they think, and is incredibly manipulative for no real reason other than liking having control. Unlike FM, she thinks finding the solution is a useless waste of time, and will actively have fun sabotaging work anybody is doing, including and specifically FM's. As you can imagine, the two are polar opposites. And, frankly? They hate each other's guts. They frequently threaten each other with mutually assured destruction, FM threatening to shoot down UM, and UM threatening to just fly away with all the water. They work shockingly well together, but are constantly at odds. This is not helped by the fact they share a lot of amenities like overseers, experimentation chambers, and such things like that. Both are convinced the other will kill them, and honestly they are correct. UM thinks FM is a uselessly devoted hardhead workaholic, and FM thinks UM is a stupid conniving waste of space. Both love to get on each other's nerves, and half their time is spent sabotaging the other in various petty ways. Unfortunately when they work together they do AMAZING work, and give stupidly good advice about various things like water conservation and stuff like that which they will surprisingly tell you willingly. Whatever the case, they are very fucked up and skrunkly. Open for questions if anyone cares to!

[captain-astors]

Hi, can you do 003 for Arima Kishou please?

I ABSOLUTELY CAN! Fun fact this is about the length of Edgar Allen Poe’s The Telltale Heart. God I was hoping someone would ask for him yet, despite my excitement I feel like I'm going to disappoint the Arima likers and dislikers twain, but no matter. 

Mood for this entire thing: Screaming.

Behold the most horrendous thing I’ve ever written. 

How I feel about this character: all caps warning for about a paragraph bellow the first sentence.

Places him in a shoebox with no notable amount of affection nor violence, simply acceptance that this is where he belongs. 

THIS IS A MAN THAT SLEEPS WITH BLANK, WHITE SOCKS ON IN THE MOST NEUTRAL, BORING NIGHTCLOTHES YOU’VE EVER SEEN. AS A CHILD ANY POTENTIAL EXTRAVAGANT FASHION TASTES WERE FORCEFULLY SUCKED OUT AND ABSORBED BY SOUTA LIKE A BLACK HOLE OF REPRESSED HOMOSEXUALITY AND TOXIC MASCULINITY, AND THE SCRAPS OF ANYTHING BARELY NOTICEABLE LEFT BEHIND WERE TAKEN BY RIZE TO MAKE THAT LOVELY DRESS. HIS UNIQUE HAIR COLORS ARE A GIFT OF PITY FROM GOD BECAUSE OTHERWISE HE WOULD BE SO TERRIBLY NON-DESCRIPT THAT ABSOLUTELY NO ONE COULD RECOGNIZE HIM, EVEN IF THEY’D KNOWN HIM FOR YEARS. HIS FACE AND CLOTHING ARE TOO NEUTRAL TO BE IDENTIFIED BY THE MOST ADVANCED AI. GOODNIGHT. Okay. Now that I’ve cleared up the feral screaming, funny story. I don’t know if I’ve ever detailed my terrible facial blindness here (probably not, it’s not a crucial detail about myself) but that applies to fictional characters as well. Things like moles, hairstyles, clothing, and speaking mannerisms are lifesavers. I do genuinely believe him to be a very neutral looking character, but half the reason for my rant above was the fact that I kept wondering “Why is Kaneki fighting himself” for 2 pages of the end of the first manga, and did not recognize him as the same guy for a truly unfortunate number of chapters in the second despite moving on to :re very quickly after finishing the first tg. Then I thought he and tatara were the same person for a while. It was bad. And I don’t know why the glasses didn’t mark out SOMETHING for me, I think I’m just too used to seeing them on and off faces at different times that it just… didn’t register? But I really don’t have any good justification for it. 

I don’t understand why some people hate him so violently but at the same time his adult version falls into the “a guy” category for me. Had his moments, but I definitely could’ve found more constructed sympathy for his plight had the story not been so afraid of allowing the reader to be bored by focusing on someone else that it wasn’t constantly bashing me over the head with “but don’t you care about how KANEKI is affected by this?!?” No actually I don’t, because I understand him well enough from the last hundred-something chapters that have revolved around this guy to have a good idea of what’s going on inside his head. Arima remains a mystery, his choice to put the responsibility of the fate of this all on Kaneki instead of someone else when he passes or trying to tough out his inevitable fate up to interpretation, and I think that’s a portion of the reason he’s passionately disliked by a large portion of the fandom. This is all speculations of a madman, but from my point of view his mistreatment of Haise/Kaneki/Whatever, while ultimately motivated by the desire to exploit, wasn’t the byproduct of explicit malevolence, but rather in that aching pattern of every garden child, say it with me folks, being afraid to/not knowing how to healthily love, or even care about a person in a genuine way that doesn’t end up hurting both people involved. He did care about Kaneki, but first and foremost he felt a responsibility to use him. Tangent to more general and less Arima-focused thoughts, this isn’t to say that writing a character in a way that leaves things up to imagination is a bad thing in writing. In fact, I really enjoy taking the broken pieces of a puzzle and attaching them together into an image of my own liking after being left with little to work with (Hi Shikorae), but the thing about Tokyo Ghoul is that this is the case for a lot of characters. It’s the inverse of the Arcane (the show not the game) problem, instead of every side character being so deeply fleshed out when they don’t always need to be, the vast majority of side characters are left to interpretation though some of them logically shouldn’t, we could’ve been given a little more to work with… maybe. I’ll never know if this is just my sadness over the lack of content for my own favorites when I speak like this but still, I feel like every character I’m attached to is left in this awkward “almost works perfectly but not quite” area as a byproduct of lack of attention, whereas Kaneki does the same but as a byproduct of too much (Juuzou lives in the middle ground good for him). I am filled with righteous fury that is only quelled by unending love for this story, somebody sedate me. 

Not the worst option for “One-Eyed King” placeholder but I’m not even going to pretend I understand the why of it enough to criticize or praise. I don’t think it was necessary if the One-Eyed King was more of a symbolic concept of revolution than a person to begin with but honestly I could just be missing content. Such a cool name for something that seems ultimately underutilized, but I do like the note of Arima being unknown as the One-Eyed King when, similarly, unlike his brother’s, his revolution is a quiet, bitter and clever thing that takes years instead of equally clever but flashy, impossible to ignore. I could ramble for hours on the dichotomy of their plans to take down the circumstances and system of the origin, the merit of taking things down from the inside out and planning for the generation to come, vs. screaming the injustices of the world in everyone’s face, making a mockery of it all until you can’t look away because it’s always been everywhere but now you can see it too. How unfortunate the conclusion of their plans both ended up in the hands of Kaneki to execute, by design or otherwise.

Oh hey back to my issues with the lack of focus, those were almost completely gone with Jack! I love Jack-Arima and half of the reason for it is his dynamic with Fura. I live for the extremely controlled, calm, quiet, powerful and intelligent yet isolated Arima being temporarily pulled out of his almost machine-like world by the aimless yet fun-loving Taishi, who in turn learns what it means to be striving to protect something, and what it means to take a life. My qualm with it? I wish it was longer. It would’ve hurt even more to know he had to live the rest of his short life pressed back into a stifling role if he actually got to learn, even briefly, what it means to live normally. But, something something in order to know how to love you must be loved, the world didn’t raise him right and even that small period of time would have thrown a ripple in the chain of events that led to his choices and bad father figure role. Even so I like to imagine he looks back on those few weeks where he got to try to “live normally” (even if it trailed right back to ghoul extermination) with fondness.

Anyways to summarize Arima is another one of those characters I am choosing to be oh so normal about. I say choosing but I couldn’t stop if I wanted to. Just a guy, but in a way that makes me want to pelt him with beanbags affectionately. It’s funny how little and how much I care about him simultaneously. The disjunction of man, am I right? 

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: And thus the disappointment of everyone commences. Congratulations on being the first person to pick a character I actually have opinions on. I see the arieto in your icon, you’re so right for that, but I flip between seeing eto as aro or shipping her with Itori, Rize, or both, and I want everyone to die alone unless it’s tragic, witnessed, unpreventable or caused by themselves, seeing their lover in their final moments is not a kindness to either but a cruelty. Hello, yes vashwood and lawlight did shape me fundamentally, and I am the world’s most spiteful creature, a russian nesting doll of mutually assured destruction. Anyways I especially want Arima to die alone, besides Kaneki, unloved with that as an exception and staring the one child who latched on to him and hoped for so much in the eyes with the guilt of knowing “I did this to him and because of me there’s a good chance he will get worse from here on out.” Arieto is a hilarious pairing conceptually and personality wise, and outside of a canon universe I can absolutely get on board, the hijinks would be legendary, but in-universe? Eto’s LEAGUES too good for you Arima. Love you, but you could stand to suffer some more. 

Oh also I’m not quite sure if I ship them but Arima and Fura kind of have the energy of guys who kissed once in highschool and have adapted the mentality of “if I don’t talk about it, it didn’t happen.” But they do think about it. So maybe I ship them in the Jack era for 5 minutes of poor judgement, teenage-ness, and the intrinsic desire to make that rivalry homoerotic, and then I’m just here for the bisexual denial. 

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: H a i s e that is his son and he does not know how to raise him and I can’t even say he’s really trying but he’s definitely there and just. Oh I wish he knew how to lead a normal life. Also Furuta, they never met in the parts of the story we’re shown, and they don’t particularly need to for me, but just conceptually they’re such fascinating foils. Living manifestations about everything I love and hate in the non-protagonists of Tokyo Ghoul, they should both burn. The most siblings to ever not sibling. 

My unpopular opinion about this character: I don’t care what power scaling this universe gives us and how far up on it they place him. I could beat up this old man in a fight. I COULD. I WILL. I’M GOING TO KICK HIM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS, WITNESS AND REVEL IN MY SPECTACLE. Also he has no charisma. None. He’s strong and intelligent, that is all he has going for him. And some nice hips but you didn’t hear that from me. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: The realization. Some kind of spinoff that further detailed the schemes and functions of his collaboration with Eto behind the scenes. Give me the forbidden one-eyed monarchs, not their narrative child. 

Favorite friendship for this character: Oh… the potential of Kureo being a healthy mentor figure (if you don’t elaborate enough on what happened with him teaching arima about quinques, I will assume the best for today), Akira (take notes on how to parent, Arima), Fura (but particularly the potential of them growing more distant and formal over the years as Arima is absorbed by his work and quiet aspirations.) 

My crossover ship: I don’t have one so I’ll just note that I listened to “The Way It Ends” from the Death Note musical for most of this and by god I have never felt so cringe.

Oh wait actually Elendira the Crimsonnail but just the Trimax version obviously. Trans queen.

[guiltypart]

I want to state first that this semi-rant isn't exactly because of the release of X-Men 97 and all the posts on Tumblr because of it. I don't even have a Disney+ account to watch the show. Most of my comic knowledge is from reviews and thinkpieces to keep up with what is going on. But this is something that's been in the back of my mind for a while, and all the posts have brought it to the forefront. And hey, now that I have a sort-of-blog, I might as well write my thought out.

One of the things that I don't like about how comic books are written and published is the constant need to return to the status quo.Regardless of what happens in a comic, any change that occurs will eventually be undone to go back to the characters' baselines. Even character death is constantly undone to the point that it's become a joke. This happens for a lot of reasons, some good and some bad, I don't want to get into that here. What I do want to get into is how not every status quo is created equal.

A lot of these status quos are fine for the characters themselves, because the general premise of the book doesn't call for a lot of angst. Superman and Iron Man, for example, have a fair amount of respect and support in their daily lives. They don't have PERFECT lives, but Clark Kent has a strong support system of friends and family and Tony Stark is both wealthy and is happy to be considered a genius as far as I understand. But other characters don't get off so easy. Spiderman's status quo is that his need to be a superhero constantly wreaks havoc on his personal relationships while at the same time he is vilified by the press, so he continues to do a thankless job because it's the right thing to do. What this results in, though, is Spiderman constantly losing friendships and relationships to get back to this status quo. Batman, meanwhile, is the dark, brooding protector of Gotham, but to maintain that status quo, he is constantly angst-ing over his parents and keeping other people, including those close to him at arm's length so that he would never not be brooding and melocholy, and Gotham will never actually deal with the corruption and crime because then it wouldn't need Batman to protect it.

One comic book that gets really hit by this is the X-Men, because the basic premise isn't just "people with superpowers train at a secretive boarding school", but also people with powers that are constantly discriminated against at large, so that they both have to stop supervillains as well as protect each other from bigots, opportunists and mobs, trying to be recognized as people and not monsters. This is a good premise, but the problem is that this is also the X-Men's status quo that they keep returning to. Combined with the fact that Marvel doesn't do reboots the way DC does results in a situation where the X-Men are never going to make any meaningful progress and are constantly set back in terms of civil rights. To me, at least, it's gotten to the point where I can't really suspend disbelief anymore. To me, it's less "Magneto was right" and more "Status quo is god." There's always another hate group that doesn't have any resistance in the population despite how dangerous these have proven to be. There's always another sleezy politician with the same rhetoric, or making the same agreement with someone like Trask despite how they always spiral out of control. More importantly, there's never any progress, because status quo means we can't move beyond where we are, and where we are is hated.

And I know a lot of people could probably argue that just like the initial message of the X-Men, this too is reflective of the real world, especially now where I live where conservative politicians and organizations are still trying (and sometimes succeeding) in rolling back civil rights. But my problem with that is that this is not a realistic world. To borrow something once said by the reviewer Linkara, the worlds of superheroes have:

People with extra-ordinary and supernatural abilities constantly appearing and affecting the public for good or bad.

Technology that, if not commonplace, is still readily at hand and way more advanced than what it is in the real world.

Several non-human societies (Atlanteans, Martians, demons, genetically altered raccoons, etc.) constantly visiting Earth.

Magic as a provable and measurable existence.

To go a bit further, there are a lot of societal fantasies too, such as:

Billionaires that are ethical, albiet not perfect.

Justice systems that often function as intended, with corruption and villains getting off on technicalities considered not the norm for the world, to the point where being able to stay out of jail is almost treated like a superpower itself.

Cites and countries that just don't exist in the real world.

Despite the fact that all of these non-human societies have been interacting with humans, human society is still very much the same with very little influence of any non-humans.

The point is that these worlds are not realistic to start with, so there is no reason why they have to always act "realistically" except for the reason of "because Marvel/Disney/the author says so." Marvel could give the Mutants some permanently unalienable rights, but because they constantly return to the X-Men's status quo of "always prejudiced against", they never will.

I realize that all of this probably sounds whiny on my part and I probably didn't completely get my point across like I wanted to. It's just...Magneto doesn't have to be right within the context of Marvel's Earth. There could be actual societal change that permanently helps mutants. But again, since that would permanently change the status quo, it won't happen because of how comic book writing and publishing works, and I'm at the point where I can't help but see the hand of the author in it all.

[preciouslittletoonette]

Squirmy's New Friend

Summary: After losing his twin in the crowd at Mal & Ben's engagement party, a tearful Squirmy Smee comes across a strange but kind boy. Who might be more connected to him than first thought.

Squirmy hated crowds. 

It was something that constantly terrorised him on the Isle. Large, loud crowds were always a worry. Large crowds meant a deadlier stampede. More spreading of disease. Most likely to get lost in and be overwhelmed by the sheer amount of voices. 

Auradon seemed to have that same problem.

Hence, Squirmy's situation.

The engagement party of King Ben and Mal were well underway, and to say the number of people attending was huge would've been an understatement. Guests both Isle and Auradonian flooded the area where the party was taking place. The place felt so cramped in some parts (Squirmy could already see the pickpockets coming in from a mile away) as everyone moved about.

Then, to his absolute horror, he loses his twin in the crowd, becoming stranded in the middle of a crowd, voices speaking over the other and so many conversations happening at once and he couldn't get anyone to find his brother (his practical anchor in some instances). The noise had become too much. Squirmy had to get out.

And he did. Out into the garden, hiding behind some hedges with trees overhead where our current scene was taking place.

Squirmy sat under a willow tree, knees drawn up to his chest as he tried to calm himself from what had just occurred inside beforehand. He wasn't crying, but his breathing sounded laboured and hoarse.

Auradon wasn't what he had imagined it to be. In fact, if he were being completely honest with his opinion, the land of heroes hadn't lived up to the hype VK Day had made it out to be.

Granted, perhaps Auradon had just been having an off week. Squirmy was certain they didn't experience a villain takeover because a princess was heartbroken every week before he came here. Certain that wasn't Auradon's normal. 

But now, he'd never really get to know what Auradon's previous normal looked like. Not with the barrier being down, which will no doubt cause a bunch of new normals to occur. 

A part of Squirmy was grateful for the barrier falling, as it had allowed him and Squeaky to reunite with their father. But the other was less than enthused as the things that once tormented Squirmy will now leak into Auradon.

That latter thought made him feel guilty. As he knew if the barrier closed forever, other kids won't get to escape, and he'd never see his father again. But to completely open it... it didn't sit right.

Squirmy pulled more in on himself, his face hidden behind his knees. His mind was too loud. It was moments like this where he could use Squeaky's support. Or even Sammy's. He wished there was someone he could talk to, but knowing his luck, wishes were maybe not meant for him.

He feels something drop onto his hand. He looks up to look at his hand and immediately frowns at the white substance on it.

"Bird poop?"

"Cake frosting, actually!"

Squirmy jumped up from his seat, looking around a little panicked as he realised he wasn't alone. He then looked up into the tree he was sitting under and found himself staring at a boy, possibly around his age, maybe even a little younger. 

" You good down there, pal?", the boy asked, his voice sounding casual.

"Who are you?", Squirmy asked, taken aback.

The boy up in the tree grinned," I asked you first~", he sang cheekily.

"No, you didn't!", Squirmy jumped as the boy suddenly jumped from the tree and landed on his hands and feet. He looked up at Squirmy and grinned widely, his buck teeth the forefront and star of what was a set of charmingly crooked teeth.

" Well, I meant to~", the boy said sweetly, almost as sweet as the dessert still covering his mouth," I did still ask a question first, though. You good?".

" How long were you up there?", Squirmy asked. 

The boy raised his brow, looking unimpressed at Squirmy's deflection but deciding to play along," Long enough to be the first here", he said flatly.

Squirmy winced," So you were here for... all of that?".

"For every single choked-up sound you let out", the boy confirmed, his voice drawling. 

Squirmy reeled back and leaned a little further away from the boy. He felt bitter, 'Great. Bad enough, I got bullied for being a wuss on the Isle. Now I'm gonna have it in Auradon too', he thought, tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

He felt a gentle tap on his shoulder and turned to find a plastic lunchbox gripped in the hand of the boy before him.

" Don't worry, I won't snitch about the crying", the boy said as he plopped down close to Squirmy, another lunchbox in his other hand for himself. 

The boy went straight into eating from the lunchbox, not waiting for Squirmy to join him or anything. The youngest Smee watched the boy in front of him scarf down the food before joining, eating his food with the same urgency without the mess.

The boy stopped for a moment to gaze up at Squirmy. He tilted his head, watching him eat. 

"Do your siblings try to steal your favourite food too?", the boy asked curiously. 

"What?", Squirmy asked, confused.

" My siblings make a game out of eating all my favourites without sharing. That's why I'm eating all of this without them", the boy said with a shrug," I'll share with them eventually, I just want to taste some of my faves, y'know. Do you have siblings?", the boy asked curiously 

Squirmy blinked, the boy had given him a lot to process. Eventually, he got to the question and nodded in response. 

" Two. My big brother and my twin brother"

"You have a twin!", the boy said excitedly," I have little twins in my family too!"

"How many siblings do you have?", Squirmy asked curiously. 

"Loads!", the boy exclaimed," Mostly brothers. I recently started getting more sisters and siblings. There's like-", the boy paused and silently counted the number of siblings he had," 13 of us, altogether. I'm 2nd eldest, but I was the first!".

'2nd eldest but the first?', Squirmy thought it was weird. He didn't quite understand and was rather confused. The confusion must have been visible on his face because the boy decided to elaborate. 

"I'm what the Mainlanders call "Adopted"", the boy explained, and suddenly, it made sense to Squirmy. Something else then piqued his interest.

Mainlanders? Squirmy was about to ask about that, but then the boy beat him to speaking by asking his own question.

" Don't take this the wrong way, but... you're oddly dressed for a Mainlander", the boy pointed out, mouth full of food at this point," You don't look like you're from the EverRealm either".

"Mainlander?", Squirmy murmured, confused.

"BAH! Auradonian if you wanna get technical about it", the boy scoffed, rolling his eyes," So where are you from?".

" You don't know?"

It was odd to Squirmy that this boy didn't immediately recognise him as a VK. From what he heard, the whole VK Day thing was televised.

The boy raised a confused brow and tilted his head to the side as he watched Squirmy," Am I supposed to?", he asked, confused.

Squirmy opened his mouth to respond... then closed it as he thought about it. There was a possibility that not all Auradonians (assuming the boy before him was Auradonian) would be interested in the VK problem. At least the young AKs like the boy before him. Heck, Squirmy wasn't initially very interested in what the fancy people in their castles had to say until he was signed up for the VK Day program by Harriet and his father. If they all were the same, then safe to say the boy probably wasn't interested in stuff like this at all.

"I guess not", Squirmy shrugged," I'm from the Isle".

The boy blinked twice," The Isle of....?", he drawled, waving his hands in a circular motion for Squirmy to get the cue he needed to be further specific.

Squirmy's eyes widened, surprised. This boy really knew nothing. 

"...The Lost", Squirmy said, finishing the sentence," I'm from the Isle of the Lost".

A beat passed. And then-

"OOOOOOOH", the boy exclaimed suddenly," The Isle of the Lost! That explains-", he pauses," Well- it doesn't explain anything to me right now, but I'm sure it will eventually!", he said cheerfully.

"Yeah", was all Squirmy said. His mind was busy playing catch up with the boy's weird but nicely nonchalant reaction.

"Sooooooo", the boy drawled out," Are you like... a kid of a villain, then?", he asked curiously as he leaned forward. 

"Uh... My dad is more of a henchman than any- what are you doing?", Squirmy said, falling back as he noticed the boy was now uncomfortably close.

His pupils were dilated, and he was straight-up sniffing Squirmy. Squirmy fell back and stared up at the boy above him, who was intensely smelling him everywhere he could. It made Squirmy, like his namesake, squirm. Because of that, the boy stopped and sat back. With a blink, his gaze returned to normal.

"Sorry. Sorry", the boy said sheepishly as he helped Squirmy up," I shouldn't have done that. Mother warned me Mainlanders don't like it when I or my sibs do that".

"Why were you smelling me?", Squirmy asked curiously after a second to compose himself.

"You smelled like someone I knew a while back....", the boy said earnestly with a shrug, playing with the fox tail lining the hood of his jacket." Anyhoo... your pops? You said he was a henchman? Whose was he?".

Squirmy was still a tad stuck on the fact he had just been sniffed by a boy he was definitely beginning to question the sanity of but still pressed forward to answer the question.

"Captain Hook's", Squirmy answered. 

Something changed in the boy's demeanour. It was small and mostly unnoticeable. Squirmy himself hadn't noticed something was off.

The boy stared and stared at Squirmy for a few seconds before speaking," .....You're Smee's Kid?".

"Yeah, wasn't it obvious?", Squirmy asked, gesturing to his clothes and their colour scheme, which the boy did look at with a contemplative stare. 

"Huh", the boy said softly. His gaze falls on Squirmy again with an unreadable expression.

"Wanna go grab more food with me?", the boy asked suddenly.

xXx

Squirmy walked hesitantly behind the boy, breath quickening as the voices from the party inside grew louder.

"Gosh, this place is even more packed than earlier. How's a guy even supposed to enter?", the boy commented," These sort of parties are never usually this big..."

"Do we really have to go inside?", Squirmy asked. He did make note that his new... companion had been inside earlier. And apparently knew how these sorts of events went.

The boy shrugged," We don't have to go in this way. We can just find the staff entrance and get in through the kitchen", he explained, taking hold of Squirmy's hand and dragging him around the building to find the staff entrance. 

"Have you ever been to these sort of things before?", Squirmy asked, seeing as this boy was somewhat knowledgeable on these sort of events.

"Eh, once or twice", the boy said shrugging," They aren't my scene. Think of it as a.... once in a blue moon sort of thingamabob", he added," I get invited. But I'm not really fond of leaving home much".

A home body? Squirmy could relate to that. 

"Same here", Squirmy said quietly," I'd much rather be at home napping".

They found a staff entrance and the boy led Squirmy by the hand through the long corridor until they entered the busy kitchen. Squirmy hesitated to move forward, so he had to be pulled by his companion. They got a lot of stares but the boy's glare usually sent the workers looking elsewhere to Squirmy's surprise. 

They came up towards the wheeled server trays and Squirmy's mouth watered at the sight of all the treats piled onto them.

"The food is made by the chefs working at Tiana's Palace in Bayou d'Orleans, so this stuff is going to be REALLY tasty", the boy explained.

Squirmy nodded. Honestly though, after eating trash for most of his life, even the bad Auradon food tasted incredible. So Squirmy trusted his companion's judgement. 

"So what do we do then?", Squirmy asked quietly. 

The boy grinned," We take some, duh", he said like it was obvious.

"Won't the cooks get mad though?", Squirmy asked worriedly.

"Probably", the boy said as he went and grabbed a few hors'deurves and started placing them strategically into places in the backpack he had been carrying with him since meeting Squirmy," But I don't care".

'Spoken like a true VK', Squirmy thought as he just watched the boy pluck the different finger foods and confections outside the eyes of the wandering chefs. It made him a little put off actually, but not by much. His new companion acted more like an Isle kid than he did. It made him a little curious to learn more about him.

And of course, the boy's kindness was certainly a large factor in Squirmy's growing comfort being around him.

The boy was doing well to ask Squirmy what he might like. The youngest Smee couldn't decide as he didn't recognise much of what was presented to him. So the boy decided to pack him a little bit of everything in a medium-sized plastic container so Squirmy could try it out.

"Mother will freak that I took her good tupperware but it's for a good cause", the boy said as he showed Squirmy the container with his treats in," This'll be for you".

Squirmy was thankful and a smile grew on his face due to the boy's thoughtfulness. The boy noticed his smile and grinned, proud to get such a smile out of this kid he had just met.

They were almost caught once by one of the staff workers. The boy had dragged Squirmy behind some flour bags as the worker went and took the wheeled tray to the main room where the party was taking place.

"That was close", the boy piped up.

"What are we going to do if we get caught?", Squirmy asked.

"Run, I guess"

" I'm... I'm not really a fast runner", Squirmy was ashamed to admit. His lack of speed was usually what got him caught by his bullies. He got ridiculed by Harry about it a few times and was expecting something similar to happen here. But to his surprise, his companion just giggled light-heartedly.

"Then I guess I'll just have to carry you then", the boy said with a playful wink and an air of truth.

Squirmy felt his face warm up a little. His rosy cheeks became a little more pink from the boy's response. 

"Can you even do that?", Squirmy asked, brow raised.

"You doubt me?", the boy said with an exaggerated pout.

"I find it a little hard to believe, is all", Squirmy said with a shrug, hoping to come off as nonchalant and cool about it," You'd have to carry both me and the bag". The full bag they filled with food by now.

The boy scoffed," Piece of cake! I've carried heavier", he said folding his arms.

"I don't believe you", Squirmy replied.

"-Now. You don't believe me right now. But soon, you will", the boy said confidently. 

"We'll see about that", Squirmy said shaking his head.

They were done filling up the bag. There was enough food in there to last a family 3 weeks in Squirmy's Isle-like opinion. For the boy, this will simply be a weekend's supply of treats.

" Now what? Do we go back outside?", Squirmy asked. He was quite eager to get further away from the ongoing party.

"I was actually going to check on my siblings", the boy answered," They're somewhere in that party room".

Squirmy felt his body freeze at the mention of going back to the party room. With all those people and all that noise with so little space-

But then Squirmy is reminded of his own twin. Who he hasn't seen in the last hour. Who's probably still inside somewhere, worried about him.

"Can we find my twin while we're at it?", Squirmy asked as they slipped out of the kitchen," I kind of lost him before I got outside...".

"We can split up to look for the-", the boy started suggesting.

"No!", Squirmy exclaimed, grabbing the boy's hand. His body shook a little and willed it to stop by thinking of other things," I- I'd like it if we stuck together".

There was silence for a moment and Squirmy thought for sure he had just embarrassed himself. But then he felt his hand be gently squeezed.

The boy gave him a soft, supportive smile," Okay. We'll stick together, then", he said gently before pulling Squirmy forward, taking him down the hall.

They walked together in somewhat silence. The boy was humming and took to walking on all the furniture he came across from tables to chairs. Squirmy giggled at the sight. Very few words were exchanged for that few minutes. Squirmy winced hearing the music getting louder and the voices becoming more clearer. Then the boy spoke up out of nowhere.

"Do you not like parties?", the boy asked curiously.

Squirmy hummed in thought,"...I like parties. Just... not parties as big as these". So many people. So much noise.

"Why?", the boy asked, curiously, as he hopped in front of Squirmy.

"There's so many people and so little space and so much noise. It hurts my head. I feel sick", Squirmy said honestly, those similar feelings bubbling up again as they got closer to the party room.

The boy looked sympathetic and thoughtful as Squirmy described his experience," Is that why you were shaking when I met you? You came from the party then?", he asked, his brows furrowed in concern.

Squirmy nodded," I lost my brother in the crowd and I panicked", he said as he took a stop to rest against the wall," Being alone always made me a target on the Isle. And the crowd was so big and so loud, I felt like I was about to crushed by it all".

"Sucks, man", the boy said sympathetically. He bit his lip in thought. They were close to the door now but the boy was hesitant to drag his new friend inside after what he heard. He had to think of something else. Luckily, something came to him rather quickly. 

"Come on", the boy said as he grabbed Squirmy's hand again.

"Where are we going? The door is right there", Squirmy pointed out.

"The balconies would be less crowded, I think. You'll be more comfortable up there", the boy explained.

" You'd do this for me?", Squirmy said, eyes widened in surprise. 

"You're my friend, of course, I would", the boy said with a friendly grin.

Friend. The word echoed in Squirmy's mind. He had few friends outside of his twin brother. Dizzy was his friend... Celia would be a potential friend if she was okay with it. But that was it. No one would really want to be friends with the wimpy, anxiety-riddled Squirmy Smee who would always get his treats stolen or wouldn't survive a day on the Isle without the protection of the Hooks.

But this boy did. He genuinely wanted to be friends with him. He went out of his way for Squirmy's comfort. Took food aside for him just because he wanted to. Offered to hide things about him to prevent further embarrassment.

Friend. The word made Squirmy feel... giddy. In ways he hadn't really felt before.

'My first Auradon friend', Squirmy thought in awe,' And he's so cool', he thought with excitement.

Speaking of said friend, he was currently walking on a table that had a vase on it. The boy carelessly kicked the vase off, letting it shatter against the floor. He apologised to Squirmy since some pieces fell close to him, which the latter dodged. The boy seemed more apologetic about him having a vase shard fall close to him than actually breaking the vase itself.

"Why are breaking them anyway?", Squirmy asked. He felt a little bad seeing people's things break.

"Because it'll annoy the grownups. Duh", he said it is like it was the most obvious thing in the world," Especially the old King. He gets antsy when things break", the boy snickered," All Mainlanders do though, really. The people here hate messes. Will give you the stink eye even if you did it on accident", he scoffed.

"You talk about them, the Auradonians, like you're not from here yourself", Squirmy said thoughtfully," Aren't you Auradonian too?".

Squirmy was worried. If his new friend was foreign and only here temporarily, they'd have to leave eventually. And will probably be gone for a long time. And it'll be hard to maintain contact, especially since Squirmy hadn't received a phone yet. Did his new friend have a phone?

The boy wrinkled his nose with a look of some mild disgust, like he was personally insulted by the idea of being from Auradon (and he was, just a little). He let out a small huff, brushing some of his long blonde hair away from his sky-blue eyes.

"I guess I am in a way", the boy said, his lips pulled back in disgust at even admitting it," My home is more a... a territory of Auradon than actually part of Auradon itself, let's say. So I don't really consider myself Auradonian, get it?", he explained. 

"Huh", Squirmy hummed thoughtfully," I... do get it... actually", he said, thinking about the Isle, a little surprised at the commonality between their homes being a part of Auradon but not feeling like its part of Auradon.

King Ben might argue the Isle was always a part of Auradon. But that argument wouldn't erase the feelings of 'otherness' all Isle kids felt when they came to Auradon. The Culture Shock. It won't erase the obvious differences between the Isle of the Lost and Auradon. The Isle, an ugly entity of a mark against the big, beautiful picturesque Auradon. Saying they are one kingdom... won't fix much right now

It was much easier to think of them as separate anyway.

The boy turned to look at him," Do you want the Isle to feel like it's a part of Auradon?", he asked curiously. 

Squirmy thought for a moment," Yeah, I do", he said. 

The boy hummed," I guess that's where our homes differ. My home wants almost nothing to do with Auradon anymore", he said before stopping in front of a door to open it," We're here".

The boy pushed open the door and kept it open to let Squirmy in first. Squirmy murmured a thanks before stepping in. He looked over the railing and down at the party where many people gathered. Luckily no one was on this balcony with them. They were alone up there. They both peeked over the railing to spy down on everyone below them.

"Spot your twin yet?", the boy asked.

"Not yet", Squirmy replied," Find your siblings?".

"Found about 3 so far. Spotted my mother and baby brother though!"

"Really? Where?", Squirmy asked.

"Girlie in the baby blue dress", he said pointing towards a specific door. Squirmy only saw the flare of a baby blue dress skirt disappear behind the door though. 

"Missed her", he said

"She must have gone to put Tootles down for a nap somewhere", the boy stated," Is your dad here too?".

"Yeah. Maybe my brother's with him", Squirmy wondered thoughtfully.

"That'll make it easier to find him at least. We can just look for your dad too", the boy said as he went and sat on the railing, feet dangling. 

"Yeah", Squirmy agreed. He turned to talk to his friend again only to his shock for a bird to fly past. Squirmy stumbled but his friend merely looked surprised and turned around. 

Squirmy's eyes widened as he watched the bird transform into a human child before his eyes. Their outfit was adorned in black-iridescent feathers, much similar to their bird form. The child watched Squirmy with curiosity stark in their dark eyes.

"Birdie", Squirmy heard his friend greet lightly," How's the party?"

Rather than speaking, the bird-child let out a squeaky chirp with a silly grin. His friend chuckled at their enthusiasm.

The bird-child, aptly named Birdie, then drew their attention back to Squirmy, who tensed up a little under their attention.

"Friend?", they asked curiously, head tilting to the side as they walked towards Squirmy. Their walk reminded Squirmy of the thin live chickens Amos Slade kept in his cabin near the outskirts of the Isle. And much like what his friend had done earlier, Birdie began to sniff at him, causing Squirmy to lean away uncomfortably. 

Luckily sensing his discomfort, his friend slid in and made the bird-child back away.

"Birdie, come on, you know the Mainlanders don't like it when we do that", the boy said shooing the child away to out distance between them and Squirmy," Sorry about them. Birdie hardly comes out here much".

"Friend?", Birdie repeated.

"Is this one of your siblings?", Squirmy asked curiously, remembering his friend mentioning he had siblings.

"Yeah! This is Birdie", his friend introduced them happily," And Birdie, this is...", the boy paused for a short minute and turned to Squirmy, face flushed and grinning sheepishly. 

"I uh- didn't get your name earlier", the boy said chuckling in shy embarrassment. 

Squirmy chuckled shyly too, because it just occurred to him too, that he never got his new friend's name either.

Birdie let a squawk that Squirmy didn't understand, but his friend did completely.

"I got distracted!", the boy excused as he heard his sibling sassily ask why he had forgotten to ask Squirmy's name when they met.

Birdie chirped with interest at that excuse. They looked back and forth between the two boys, reading into something neither Squirmy nor the boy were aware of. But they sensed it. And it made them grin excitedly, bouncing on their feet and pointing at Squirmy with a wild gleam in their eyes.

"Wendy!", Birdie squealed. And then began to repeat it over and over in an excited and almost teasing chant. 

Squirmy didn't get it. But his friend, judging by how red his face had become, did.

"It's not like that!", the boy squeaked," We just met today!"

But Birdie continued their incessant teasing, calling Squirmy 'Wendy' much to the Smee boy's confusion. Squirmy could see his friend growing frustrated and decided to intervene swiftly.

"My name is Squirmy", Squirmy said over their fighting. He could see his friend stiffen and pause mid-argument as his mind registered that he spoke.

"Huh? What's that?", the boy asked.

Squirmy's face turned a little pink and he shyly scratched the material of his jacket sleeve," I said... my name is Squirmy. Squirmy Smee".

Birdie let out a few animated trills and chirps, most likely commenting on Squirmy's name (they were, in fact, in fact doing that, and also asking about knowing the VK was a Smee) before turning to their older brother, who was stuck in a trance looking at Squirmy. Birdie elbowed the boy in the rib and he hissed in pain.

"Slightly!", the boy gasped as Birdie elbowed him in the rib," Ow... did you have to go that hard?".

Birdie huffed and pointed back at a waiting Squirmy, who looked confused at the exclamation. 

"Slightly?", Squirmy said confused.

The boy looked back at him with a small smile," Yep, that's my name", he extended a hand for a shake," Slightly Soiled, but just call me Slightly".

"Slightly", Squirmy repeated," Odd name", he said as he shook Slightly's hand. 

"Better than Squirmy though", Slightly said cheekily.

"Wanna do a betting pool on that?", Squirmy asked dryly. 

Slightly cackled," Nah, I'm good", he said with a huge grin.

Birdie watched this interaction with a knowing smile on their face. They looked at Slightly with a smirk and teasingly sang," Wendy~~".

Slightly growled and tried lunging at them, but Birdie transformed back into their bird form before Slightly could get them. Squirmy could hear them cackling in their bird form.

"Oh laugh it up!", Slightly growled glaring at the bird," Do you got a reason for bothering me right now?"

Birdie transformed back into their human form and sat on the balcony railing comfortably. A series of chirps, squawks and trills began, with some actual English that Squirmy understood. Though the only thing Squirmy made out was "brothers" "boy" and "Hook", the last one making Squirmy shiver.

Was Captain Hook here? Squirmy thought worriedly. If such was the case, then Squirmy had to find his father soon. If Captain Hook mistook any of the Auradon children for the Lost Boys as he often mistook Isle children, then they were in for a world of hurt.

"What did they say?", Squirmy asked nervously.

"Eh, they were asking me if I wanted to join a game with the rest of our siblings", Slightly said, sounding a little put off," Hey, um, can I ask you something?".

"Sure", Squirmy said.

Slightly licked his lips," Does... does Captain Hook have kids?", he asked hesitantly. 

"Yeah, he does", Squirmy answered quietly.

Birdie let out even more caws that Squirmy ignored in favour of watching Slightly. 

"How many?", Slightly asked, tilting his head.

"3", Squirmy replied.

"Any boys?"

"Just one. His name is Harry"

"How old?"

"I think he's 19 now..."

Slightly hummed before turning back to Birdie," Sound like your guy?", he asked.

Birdie chirped and Slightly turned back to Squirmy.

"Does his make up make him look like he just spent hours in the shower listening to Lana Del Rey and sobbing?", Slightly asked with complete seriousness. 

"Uh... I guess his eye shadow makes him look... tired?", Squirmy said with uncertainty. 

Slightly turned back to Birdie," Your guy?", he asked.

Birdie chirped and nodded their head.

"Ah, cool", Slightly said before turning back to Squirmy," My siblings are stalking him for funsies", he explained, no fanfare whatsoever which made Squirmy even more gobsmacked. 

"Huh?!"

"They wanted to know if I wanted to join", Slightly shrugged before turning to Birdie," I think I'll stick with my friend here for a bit. We're lookin' for his twin and his dad up here and I'd rather not lose him in the crowd y'know. He's a mainland kid, he won't be used to everyone. You and the others have fun though", he said with a wave.

Birdie nodded and transformed back into their bird form. But before they flew away, Slightly got an idea and called them back.

"Birdie, while you're down there, try to find someone who looks like Squirmy- or find Mr Smee!", Slightly said," And if ya got trouble remembering what he looks like, find Jake. He'll know", the boy said and Birdie gave as good as a nod you can get out of a bird before diving back down into the ground, some guests letting out loud yelps as the bird came too close to them.

"That should sort out the search for your family and my family", Slightly said with a nod of his head," Wanna head back outside? Birdie won't have trouble finding us if we left".

"Yes", Squirmy said immediately. Even atop the balcony away from most of the crowd, Squirmy still felt uncomfortable. Luckily, Slightly didn't wait to grab his hand and take him way.

The walk on the way outside was mostly quiet. Slightly made sure to leave a mess in his wake while Squirmy watched on amused but pensive. His pensive expression coming from his ponderings about his friend that he hadn't gotten to do earlier.

Slightly. It was such an odd name for an Auradon boy. Slightly, who seemed to have dozens of siblings. Slightly who didn't seem to be fazed by Squirmy's VK status. Slightly who met him with a cool exterior and a excitable grin promising chaos. A face more in line with a VK than an AK. That caused Squirmy to wonder. Who were his parents? 

Squirmy didn't know who Slightly's parents were. He figured that they had to be important though, as a lot of the Auradon guests at the party were nobility and royals, seeing as this was the engagement party of the High King and the Lady of the Court. Squirmy didn't get to ponder much further as Slightly spoke up.

"Are you close with Hook's kids?", Slightly asked suddenly. 

"Huh?", Squirmy said quietly," Yeah, I guess".

"You friends with any of them?", Slightly asked.

Squirmy shook his head," They're all way older than me. CJ's 16 and she's the youngest. We used to play together when she was younger but then she got older and got new friends", he rambled," Harriet babysits me and Squeaky a lot. She's the oldest. She's like 24 now I think".

"Harriet, Harry and CJ", Slightly muttered as they reached the outside gardens.

Squirmy continued rambling," Harry's kinda mean a lot. He always steals my squid snacks whenever I get some-"

Slightly growled hearing that, and the growl was animalistic Squirmy jumped hearing it," Jerk", Slightly muttered," I hope my siblings give em hell".

"Aren't you worried about your siblings?", Squirmy asked curiously. 

Slightly snorted," I'd worry about the Hook boy more. My siblings are a lot to handle", he said grinning.

"Harry's pretty unpredictable", Squirmy warned.

"So are my siblings", Slightly grinned," They can take him. If anything, this will be a fun challenge for them", he laughed," Nibs is probably itching to start a fight with him anyway".

Squirmy hoped that wasn't the case. While he was certain Harry wouldn't purposefully hurt a younger kid, Slightly's brother could still get hurt fighting the pirate. 

They got back to their spot (their spot, Squirmy thought with bashful glee) and sat down on the grass. The sky turned pink as the sun was beginning to set. Slightly handed him a container filled with the food he had collected for Squirmy, the latter taking it with a warm thank you before beginning to eat what was inside. As he predicted, it was all delicious. And while they ate, Slightly asked another question.

"And what about Hook?".

Squirmy froze," What about Hook?", he asked hesitantly. 

"What was he like to you?", Slightly asked curiously. There was something in his expression that Squirmy couldn't decipher. But he knew whatever it was, Squirmy's answer would be something that stuck to Slightly more than any other answer he gave for previous questions.

"He- n-n-not great", Squirmy stuttered, rubbing a hand around his throat, imagining the hand of an older man gripping his throat with murderous intent as he mistook Squirmy for someone else completely," How much do you know about him?".

Slightly tilted his head and there it was again. Another expression Squirmy couldn't decipher.

"I'd like to think I know a lot", Slightly said with a shrug.

"He's a lot like what the stories describe him to be", Squirmy said quietly.

Squirmy caught Slightly frowning and brows furrowed. Stuck between feeling sad for his friend and angry at Hook. And there was something else in Slightly that Squirmy noticed. Between the anger and sadness, there was... disappointment. An odd combination for sure. Why would Slightly be disappointed in hearing Captain Hook was a monster?

Slightly then spoke," I'm sorry you had to go through all of that", he said, sounding oddly remorseful for reasons Squirmy couldn't decipher. 

"It's not like it's your fault", Squirmy said with a shrug. But that seemed to be the wrong thing to say.

"But it is partly my fault", Slightly said suddenly. 

"But it isn't. You weren't even born when that happened just like me. It's neither of our fault. It's like what King Ben said. We're not our parents", Squirmy said.

Slightly seemed to go silent at that. Squirmy thought he got through to him but that turned out to be not the case.

"You... don't know... who I am?", Slightly said quietly.

Squirmy furrowed his brows," You're Slightly, we just met today".

"No, you don't know WHO I am", he repeated again.

Squirmy the figured his friend must have meant who he was descended from. 

"Am I supposed to?", Squirmy asked awkwardly. 

Squirmy watched as Slightly's mouth opened and closed as he thought on his reply. But then, Slightly finally replied. 

"I guess not", he said with a shrug, before going in to eat his own food.

Squirmy seemed like he wanted to ask further but then Slightly spoke up again.

"It's getting late. My folks will probably call us in and head home soon", Slightly said thoughtfully. 

All thoughts and questions Squirmy had, came to a stop as he realised his time with his new friend was possibly coming to an end.

"O-Oh", Squirmy said with a hard swallow,"...W-Will you be visiting again soon?", he asked.

"I don't know. I told ya before I usually only come here for special occassions", Slightly explained. 

Squirmy felt his heart break. He just couldn't lose his new friend so soon. And Slightly noticed.

"Don't be sad. I'll try and ask about visiting more often- and hey! Do ya got a phone? I can give send ya texts and we can call each other", Slightly suggested.

Squirmy remembered having received a new cellphone when he first arrived. He had it hidden back in his room at Evie's starter castle. 

"Yeah I do!", Squirmy said happily.

"Neat!" Slightly scratched around in his backpack and pulled out a pen. He took hold of Squirmy's wrist and wrote down a number on his arm.

"I don't have my own phone", Slightly admitted," But this is my Mother's number. I can use this until I can get my own".

"She won't mind?", Squirmy asked.

"Nah, my sibs and I always steal hers for games anyway", he said as he finished writing the number down," And there!"

"-And just in time too", Slightly said as the two boys heard a familiar caw of Birdie flying overhead and someone yelling out Squirmy's name," Seems like Birdie found somebody. Though I don't think its your dad or your brother".

"It's Jay", Squirmy said as he heard the son of Jafar's voice get closer and closer until the older boy found the two of them sitting together.

"Squirmy! There you are, buddy. We've been looking everywhere for ya", Jay said, sighing in relief.

"I was outside", Squirmy replied.

"I can see that", Jay said with a smile as he ruffled Squirmy's beanie-covered head before turning his attention to Slightly," And I see you made a friend. What's up, Slightly? Strange to see you all the way out here".

Squirmy's eyes widened as he looked between the two of them, surprised they know each other.

Slightly snorted," It's strange to be out here", he replied.

Jay snorted," I imagine", he said with a smirk," Thanks for keeping Squirms company here, man. I owe you".

"Eh, I'd do it again for free. Squirmy here is pretty cool", Slightly said, bumping his shoulder against Squirmy's with a fond grin.

Squirmy's face turned a lovely shade of red from that statement.

"Aww your first Auradon friend. Proud of ya, sport", Jay said giving Squirmy a gentle fist bump to the shoulder.

"Really? I'm your first friend here?", Slightly asked.

Squirmy flushed," Yeah...", he said embarrassed. 

Slightly grinned and puffed out his chest proudly," I shall carry that title with honor then!", he said with strong promise.

Squirmy laughed at the sight. It made him feel so warm that Slightly was taking all of this in stride.

Jay chuckled too," Come on, Squirms. Let's get you back to your brother and dad", he said as Squirmy took his hand," Slightly, I think your fam were looking for you earlier".

Slightly chuckled, watching as Birdie flew away," I think they know where I am. I'll be fine", he said before looking back at Squirmy," Don't forget to text later, okay?".

"I won't", Squirmy said with a smile as he committed the number on his arm to memory so he'd never forget it," Bye Slightly!"

Slightly waved back silently and watched as the two VKs walked away. 

Jay led Squirmy by the hand around the castle towards the front entrance. As they walked, Squirmy relayed to him all that happened after he lost Squeaky back at the party, Jay listening to everything the boy had to tell. This was, after all, the most Jay had ever heard him spoke. A tiny piece of the Smee boy's shell has broken off from this newfound friendship. 

"Glad you had a good time despite how it all started", Jay said sincerely," And Slightly's a good kid. He'll look after you if you get in trouble".

"How do you know him?", Squirmy asked quietly.

"Met him at a R.O.A.R tournament in Neverland. Tough kid. One of the only 10 year olds I'm not ashamed to say wiped the floor with me at the game. He's good", Jay whistled, remembering that tournament," You got pretty lucky to meet him".

Something scratched at Squirmy's brain at the mention of Neverland. And like that, pieces of a puzzle he was unaware he had built started to come together.

"How come?", Squirmy asked curiously.

Jay shrugged," The kid's hardly allowed out of Neverland. Plus he and his siblings's got a bit of rep here from what Peony told me. So they don't come here often by choice. Heck, you might even be Slightly's first mainland", he said," Not a lot of kids here can say they befriended a Lost Boy".

And like that, the puzzle was completed. 

"HE'S A WHAT?!"

XXX

Squirmy eyed his phone in his hand, the number he had on his arm now logged onto the phone. He sent the first message, hoping Slightly was the one to answer and not his mother (this made Squirmy ask even more questions).

Slightly('s Mother):

SQUIRMS 😀!!!

Squirmy bit his lip as he tried to find an appropriate way to ask his question. But figured, he might as well just jump in and take the plunge.

SquirmyS:

Why didn't you tell me you were a Lost Boy? 

Squirmy watched for what felt like hours as he watched the phrase showcasing that Slightly was typing below. But then the message came through. It was much shorter than what Squirmy was expecting truthfully, considering Slightly took minutes to type.

Slightly('s Mother):

It never came up.

Squirmy's eye twitched suddenly. He was uncertain why but he felt a spike of anger. Then another message appeared from Slightly. 

Slightly('s Mother):

Does it matter?

Squirmy took a minute to think. Did it matter that Slightly was a Lost Boy?

Squirmy thought back on his younger days, thinking about what the Lost Boys meant to him, as the son of Smee.

The Lost Boys weren't a group that came up in conversation a lot. They were backgrounds from what was known of the Peter Pan story. They weren't named in the history books, the pirates certainly didn't utter their names either. They were a singular unit. Peter Pan's sidekicks. Unnamed and unimportant. 

But Hook.... Hook hated them all the same. The Lost Boys invoked the same murderous rage that Peter Pan invoked as they were his kin, his underlings who followed his every command. And Hook always had trouble telling children apart. Particularly the Smee twins. From a young age, both boys only knew one thing about the Lost Boys: that in the group was a set of twins.

Twins that Hook often mistook the Smees for.

It caused some bitterness amongst the pity the Smee twins usually had for the Lost Boys. In a similar vein of how Harry felt bitter towards Peter and how Harriet felt bitter towards Wendy Darling. Had Pan just left Hook alone-

But then something in Squirmy's thoughts changed. Perhaps Auradon changed his thought process and he was gaining a different perspective. But Squirmy thought of something no one else in his life had really thought to question.

Could Pan even leave Hook alone? 

Captain Hook constantly ranted about how difficult it was to find Peter Pan's hideout. The years he spent searching for it. 

A grown man... obsessively searching for the home of several young boys... so he could kill them.

Perhaps then, it wasn't Pan who couldn't leave Hook alone. It was Hook who couldn't leave Pan alone. It was the grown man, who could've licked his wounded stump where his hand once was and sail away like the rest of the crew wanted to. But made the active choice to stick around and stalk the boy who made a bad decision, looking for any moment to strike him down. 

Peter Pan and the Lost Boys were as much victims of Hook as Squirmy, his brothers and Hook's own children were.

Squirmy's bitterness was not made for the Lost Boys. And it certainly didn't feel right to continue to leave it on them, for all the events of what happened.

Slightly... Slightly blamed himself for Hook causing Squirmy and other kids harmed. He felt guilty. Slightly, who spent the entire afternoon with him, feeding him, keeping him company, taking care to not put Squirmy in uncomfortable spots. 

Slightly cared. Slightly was a friend. Slightly was his friend. 

SquirmyS:

No. I guess not

The End

[kaija-rayne-author]

To say this is a touchy topic for me is the world's biggest understatement. I have massive trauma issues because of people accusing me of meaning something that isn't even close to what I wrote/said.

I've had people tell me, the person who wrote the thing, that I mean the exact opposite of what I communicated. Shouldn't I, the person who wrote the thing, know best what I mean? It's infantilizing and gross. It's beyond disrespectful. It's ableist.

NT people loooove to pin communication problems on Autistic & ADHD people. And frankly? We're the only ones who communicate clearly. I can always tell if someone I'm talking to is NT or not by how they react to things I say, especially if there's been a misunderstanding. An autistic or ADHD person will usually want clarification, they won't usually get upset, they just want to know how it happened and whether they can avoid doing it in the future. Because, by and large, we're hard wired to avoid hurting people. Most of us really hate it even if we cause accidental harm. Then once we've talked about it, they're happy to apologize and move on. NTs start by slinging accusations, usually from the get go, and it gets worse from there.

Using accusatory language with someone you disagree with is shitty behavior, people. Do better.

Autistic & ADHD people are always accused of all sorts of nasty things by people who assume things about our words. I'm so beyond sick of it that I'm not going to show any grace or understanding about it anymore.

We're around 1/20 people now. That's 1 autistic or ADHD or combo to every neurotypical person. It's long past time for NTs to learn how to communicate with us.

What will NTs do when they're in the minority and all the rest of the world communicates in ways that are logical and based on facts? When they're the ones who are socially penalized for how they communicate? I doubt they'll do any better with it than we do.

It's one of the worst things NTs do to us. And to be fair, many baby/unhatched NDs do it too, because they mistakenly think that they'll be accepted if they pretend hard enough. They won't be, but they haven't come to understand that yet. So they harm other NDs to gain faux acceptance. And it's a daily experience.

Autistic & ADHD people, generally, are very careful about the words we use. To make sure that what we're communicating is what we mean, and only what we mean. Your insecurities and issues are yours! You need to deal with it! Not push the blame for whatever you're experiencing because of our words onto us!

Our pathological caution is a trauma response from people misunderstanding, assuming, and filling in things that do not exist in things we say for most of our lives.

If you're talking to an autistic or ADHD person, the words written are exactly what they mean. There's no hidden meaning, there's no accusation, it's just the fucking words on the page/screen. That's it.

If you read anything further into it, that's completely on you, not the autistic or ADHD person. That underhanded method of communication is strictly an NT thing. It's shit communication.

Communication rule 1. Don't assume.

Rule 2. Listen without planning your response.

Rule 3. Think about what you mean before you say it.

I learned those as part of therapy, and whoo boy do NT people really need to learn them. There're more, but that's not the point of this post.

If I've written something, it is well researched, has all of my ridiculous amount of education behind it, and it's my thoughts, my opinion, on my blog. It should be taken that way. I have had far more than enough of people accusing me of saying or meaning things I have not said. Don't like something I say? Feel free to block me. Especially on tumblr. This is my space. I'm not sugar coating or softening what I say here at all. This is as unfiltered as I get. And I like it that way. You don't? There's the door, don't let it hit you on the way out.

It really makes me question peoples reading comprehension. Most people seem to have the reading comprehension of a carrot. Which is probably an unfair comparison for the carrot. If it were just a communication issue, whatever, but it’s not.

Do you have any idea of the cost Autistic & ADHD people pay? To be so careful and worried about our language usage? Imagine having to weigh every single word you ever say or write. Imagine having to twist and turn every single word, then every sentence, then every paragraph to try to see how someone could misinterprete it. Imagine living in traumatized fear of being misunderstood, again. Even if we're not harassed off social media or summarily rejected from social groups, most of us have this trauma long before we leave elementary school. And it's cumulative.

It's fact that most of us die before we're 36. I'm 46, almost 47. I'm past my expiration date. I'm fed the fuck up with shitty communication. I'm old, and cranky, and I've had it.

This isn't a light issue. It's life threatening. You are killing us with your assumptions. Stop. It.

[futurewriter2000]

She hasn’t sat here in a while. The bench, the night, the awful tiredness of her heart. He came towards her with his usual smile and the cigarette between his fingers. Even after two years and she still knew he was the only one who understood her. 

He sat beside her. “You haven’t been here for a long time.” 

“I avoided you.” she said with her eyes focused on the large white door in front of her. 

“You healed, you broke...” he started. 

“Again and again.” she finished and finally turned to him with an exhausted smile on her lips. 

He simpered. “You’re not the girl I used to know anymore.”

“It’s been years. A lot has happened.” she answered. “I healed, I broke...” 

“Again and again.” he smiled and looked away. “Was it my fault?” 

“No.” she replied. “I was mad at you for a long time but somehow, you’re still the one person that I would see again and talk to. You made me laugh and you understood me without having me to speak. I miss that. I miss being that naive, innocent me.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“For?” 

“For being the one that led you to this path.” 

“You didn’t.” she smiled. 

“I did. I saw this girl in you, that didn’t experience hurt of the heart yet. You were bright, funny, loving- full of life. I didn’t want to hurt you, that’s why I left but even when I did, you got hurt and you experienced so much pain. You didn’t deserve that. You loved too much- you wore your heart on your sleeve and now you’re back here with me. Now we’re both blue.”

“I never regret the amount of love I gave to anybody.” she laid her head on his shoulder. “I don’t regret anything really, I just hate the fact that I can’t move on as fast as other people do. I get crazy attached to everybody and when they leave, I have to go through this healing and detaching process that I feel like never works.”

“I wish we could go back here. To this time where everything was so fucking simple.”

 “I wish we could see each other again. We are so different but together we were so careless and free.” 

“Maybe one day, we will see each other again.” 

“Yeah... maybe one day we will.” 

[maleux]

Honestly, Tumblr isn't the way it used to be. Actually, the internet isn't anyway. The internet in this day and age has become colonized really, I completely agree with Bo Burnham's foresight about this back then. It's just brain rot now. Tumblr along with every big corporate social media has tried to mimic algorithms, "checkmarks," whatever trends, and ultimately enforce imperialism. I mean I've been using it on and off since 2009... since David Karp, since Yahoo claimed it.. and all the craziness really during my younger 20s, when I used to be a "viral" person on here to the point of receiving anons all the time and people forming obsessive parasocial relationships in their brains about you. Or the incessant death threats or hate comments, or people just having maladaptive behaviors, trying to find everything "problematic" about you, or trying to dig up receipts, etc. I do love how people think I have disappeared...but I'm right here all along still. I still wonder where all those hundreds and thousands of people went off to, especially after they always leave behind those "I'm moving on/deleting Tumblr" posts.

Yet I've been on here I think 13 years now?? Just not the same way anymore. I used to write so much on here all the time especially in my 20s I was having to live with a highly abusive parent and dysfunctional family, so the internet was my only salvation really from the painful reality I was living with for so long. I wrote a lot about my thoughts, my political views, my feelings on people, the world, my relationships... Every photo of myself, somehow spread around and would end up on WeHeartIt, or being used by a catfish for fuck sake. Then I kind of just stopped. Over time, I did not just get rid of my platforms, but I started blocking hundreds of people. I didn't care if a mutual was a mutual for 5 years or something. People now days do not have authentic connections, they're still very steeped in parasocial dynamics with others. They judge a book by its cover still.

During those years I was working in retail for over five years, and now I've been working at a hospital for a few years now, and living with my lifelong partner, and well I'm now living the life I've always wished I had. It's so weird to think that I never would have imagined things to turn out that way 10 years ago... 10 years ago, I was 22 years old, never moved out at least once yet (until 2016), and suffering a lot, and figuring out and having volatile relationships with women. There's been a lot of weird, not-worth-it characters that have come and gone in my life...that I can care less about.

But in the end, I got everything I wanted and needed...

Ah, and next year, I am getting a large amount of settlement money. I love how I've been mistreated, underestimated, and misunderstood for my whole life but I still have ended up quite lucky.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to express in this post... maybe a mixture of gratitude but also a bit of disappointment. The fact Twitter isn't Twitter anymore, and social media is beyond shallow, and people are lacking more and more intelligence, human empathy, and care is really reflecting in the world, in my opinion. I guess I'm just feeling nostalgic for a time and place, that wasn't even that memorable really, maybe because I never would have thought years later the landscape would change so much.. but we don't realize it because we flow with it so constantly. Maybe the other thing I feel right now, is I'm happy I am not the person I was in the past. Not because I felt the me from back then was bad or negative, but just not a fully realized self.

[ashc-from-ao3]

You’re really soft

tASM Peter Parker x female teen reader

(Y/n) was walking hurriedly towards her home, a friend had thrown a party and invited the whole school and naturally when everyone got together some idiot brought booze. And of course other idiots drank said booze, (Y/n) was one of those idiots, she was drunker than she had ever remembered being and in her drunken state walking home, alone ,past midnight, in the slightly shady part of New York seemed like a grand idea. She giggled as she stumbled over a crack in the sidewalk, up ahead a stray cat was startled by her and yowled before running into a alleyway.

"OH MY GOD! KITTY, KITTY COME LOVE MEEEEEE!" The drunk teen stumbled into the alleyway intent on loving the poor stray cat.

"Well lookie what we have here, a little girl. All by herself at night, need some help getting home sweetie?" Normally (Y/n) would have the common sense to turn around and try to get away from the large man that now loomed in the back of the ally. Said man lunged forward and grabbed her arm startling her and causing her to scream. Half a second later a white object hit the man's arm and attached it to the brick wall closest to him. Three more projectiles darted forward, one attached to the man's other arm and one grabbed (Y/n) around the waist and tugged her backwards into the embrace of one Spiderman. (Y/n) giggled at the mob,net and snuggled into the superheroe's arms. She could practically feel the hatred that the we slinger was shooting at her attacker when suddenly both her and spiderman where swinging from building to building (Y/n) gave a short yelp when the ride started but as it continued she calmed down and laughed as the lights of the city flew past, she could have sworn that she heard a soft chuckle come from Spiderman but she had little time to dwell on the fact before he was setting her down in front of her apartment.

"Are your parent home? Do you have anyone staying with you?" (Y/n) Shook her head vigorously, her parents where rich, almost as rich as the Osborne family and never wanted a child, when she was born they bought an appartment and hired a nanny to take care of her 24/7 as she grew they continued sending, what to them was small meaningless amounts of money and they lived their lives without ever actually seeing her. Most people would grow up hating their parents and being snobbish but she had grown up nice, caring and with a big heart, she never used the full sum of the money her parents would have automatically deposited into her bank account each month so she often sent it to people who needed it more. She bought cloths at Value Village and bought half price food, now that she was old enough she no longer had a caretaker and she was doing fine. The drunk girl tried to tell Spiderman this but only came up with.

"Noooooooppppppe, me alone" before almost falling, Spidernam sighed and swept an arm under he knees and brought her back into his arms, he questioned her about where she slept and she pointed it out after some difficulties. The masked man seemed very familiar to her but she couldent place her finger on what it was. When he reached her room he placed her under the covers and was about to leave when.

"Stay" he turned around and sighed, Peter had had a huge crush on (Y/n) for ages now, he figured a rich, pretty girl would never look at him twice so he never made a move or showed any affection towards her. He finally made up his mind and, still in his outfit slipped under the covers.

(Y/n) Woke up with a yawn, she had sleep for a few hours and felt a little better. Her hangover haven't hit yet but the alcohol was no longer in her system. Something shifted beside her and a gentle 'hmmm' was heard, she twisted around to see who it was and almost shrieked, it was Spiderman but his mask had come off during his sleep and showed the face of the one classmate she would never suspect. Peter Parker, she always wanted to be friends with him but he was always distant, it hurt her as she had developed a small crush on the bruenett. She figured he thought she was snobbish and rude and hence why he avoided her, so she kept her crush under lock and key and only told her close friend Gwen Stacy. Giving into temptation (Y/n) reached over and gently ran her hand through his hair, Peter mumbled and reached up and grabbed her hand before pulling it down to rest on his chest. His eyes blinked open and stared in shock at (Y/n) when he realized his mask had come off. An adorable smile broke over her face and a giggle escaped her.

"You're really soft." She said looking a little sheepish at getting caught. Peter smiled as well and chuckled.

"Am I now?" (Y/n) Nodded and looked thoughtful.

"So um.......you're Spiderman? No wonder you never wanted anything to do with me, why would you want to hang out with me when you could have literally any girl in New York, I mean they all adore you." Peter looked confused.

"I thought you didn't want anything to do with me, after all your rich and pretty.....no you're beautiful and nice, and I have had the biggest crush on you since like forever. and I could go on but I'm going to stop before I make a bigger fool of myself."

"Y-you have a crush in me? Oh wow, I thought you thought I was just a snotty, snobbish, rich girl. But you have a crush on me. Plot twist, my crush actually likes me back!" In her excitement she didn't notice Peter move closer to her until she felt the gentle pressure of peter's lips on her own. Her surprise froze her for a second before she wrapped her arms around his neck, threaded her fingered in his hair and kissed back. Peter placed on hand between her shoulder blades and another at the small of her back before pressing himself even closer to her, he licked (Y/n)'s bottom lip and when she opened her mouth his tongue explored eagerly. (Y/n) Pulled back before it got too heated and snuggled into Peter's chest.

"So (Y/n) wanna go out on a date with me?" (Y/n) Nodded and wrapped her arms around Peter's waist.

"That's would be nice, I am still having trouble wrapping my head around the fact that you actually like me." Peter smiled and started moving backwards to snuggle with (Y/n) while lying in a comfortable position. The two started to drift off again, it was still early after all and just as they fell asleep Peter mumbled.

"You know, you're really soft to."

[proposalanonaita]

Well, that's... definitive.

In all honesty I'd forgotten about this by now, but I'm sure you'll all be very happy to know my fiance actually checks tumblr, and is being completely insufferable about the fact that 700-odd strangers think that I'm an asshole. I WILL concede, the risk to reward ratio involved in sending the rich ex an invite is probably more trouble than its worth. Probably.

On everything else, however, all of you are so comically wrong I'm about to spend the rest of this post responding to questions I'm seeing crop up in the comments repeatedly. To that end:

Why do you hate the groomsmen/Why are you uninviting the groomsmen/&c. - When I said that uninviting everyone I hate would take out half the groomsmen, that was a technique called "exaggeration" I and many other people use when arguing. I certainly don't LIKE several of his friends, but he's well aware of that fact already & we're perfectly capable of interacting politely when needed. This isn't a legitimate grievance, they're just loud and don't really 'get' me. The rest of his side of the aisle is lovely.

Do you even like him/Why do you talk about your fiance like that, I would never insult my partner in public - I wanted to mention this one specifically because I was completely baffled about it for so long. To me, the COMPLETE opposite is true; I would sooner film a sex tape, show it on the jumbo screen of a sport arena, and provide director's commentary throughout than admit to loving my partner in public for anyone to hear. It would be much less revealing.

Anything heartfelt I have to say about him I am going to say TO him, behind a closed door, with no one else around. The ONLY exceptions are the time I had an appendectomy (which involved MANY drugs and SHOULDN'T count), our vows, and if he dies in public.

You are toxic/Both of you are toxic/You shouldn't be getting married at all/&c. - Oh damn, you're right. Let me just call this whole committed relationship off real quick, obviously you know everything about me and my partner from reading a few words online!

I don't respect you and I'm going to find a way to marry him even harder specifically to piss you off.

Why are you making a seating chart before you have your RSVPs back - You're the only one asking the right questions on here, congratulations. The venue has several rooms we can pick from, arranged VERY differently, and I needed to get an idea of what each set up would look like at maximum capacity to choose between them. I'll admit making a full chart was going a LITTLE overboard, but spending an afternoon methodically calculating who should sit with whom is surprisingly effective for excising the jitters. Also, it was an excellent bonding moment with my mother, who is a fellow hater at heart and had insane amounts of intel on the extended family's beef. I think she was more choked up watching me put labels on my magnet board over FaceTime than she will be seeing me in my suit, frankly.

Stop doing mind games on your partner/Don't manipulate your fiance/WTF is wrong with you quit it - No. It's VERY effective foreplay. Also, he is genuinely quite bad at event planning. I'm not about to let him blunder into a subpar special day when I could just do it CORRECTLY and give him the perfect wedding instead. Duh.

To that point, no one asked specifically but I think it would help assuage some worries to reiterate that AS STATED IN THE POST I am NOT pulling any strings when it comes to his actual stated wants, this is ONLY about the minutiae of planning for a very large event.

He wants all his younger siblings to play a role? Absolutely, I will find jobs for all SEVEN of them to do, including the kindergartner who curses at me. His best friend moved abroad and can't afford travel fare? She can now, because I'm chipping in to get her here as a surprise. He really wants Thinking Out Loud by Ed fucking Sheeran on the playlist since it was on the car radio when he realized he loved me? I wish to GOD I were a crueller man because that tacky garbage will be our first dance song so my basic bitch of a betrothed can get all weepy about it.

He thinks orange and pink "works fine" for a color scheme?????? Objectively deranged, someone needs to save him from himself.

To conclude, I have ACCEPTED that I shouldn't invite the ex, I will be taking NO further criticism at this time, and now that that's all settled I'm going to leave this be and go talk over my fiance's TV shows. He hates it so much <3

I am not the asshole, and I think this whole thing is stupid, but I was promised that if I sent my side of things to this blog I could pick the hotel for our honeymoon, and I am marrying a man who once tried to take me BACKPACKING of all things, so this ask has become a necessity. In light of that:

AITA (I'm NOT) for planning the seating for our wedding in a logical way?

I got engaged in June, apparently in part because of my partner writing in to this blog (I don't know how to find or link to his posts, but I'm the man who got the cat to bite him, if that rings any bells?). At any rate, for the past ten weeks, I've been in the beginning stages of planning our wedding with my fiance, whom I have been secretly attempting to remove from the planning process as much as possible. I have ALREADY been given a list of his must-haves, and I AM incorporating as many of them as our budget allows. This has NOTHING to do with the emotional side of the event, and EVERYTHING to do with the fact that this is an idiot with no real planning experience or taste who thinks he knows more than me.

For the most part, this has worked very well. I'm the one who's been collating all the contact information for things, so I just replaced all the emails for the tacky companies with false addresses, responded to his inquiries as the companies to say the date was already booked or the price was outside our budget, and let him filter his way to the ones I DO like on his own. I also made a fuss about being "willing to compromise" on the few things he's picked I'm completely fine with in the hopes I can use it to make him compromise later, and have been humming portions of the songs I want on the playlist in the hopes he'll think he came up with the idea to include them himself.

None of this is the real problem. The PROBLEM is that he is deliberately ruining my seating chart, by moving our horrible friend's seat when I'm not looking.

The man in question dated both of us at one point in our VERY early 20s (both ended BADLY), is generally the messiest person we know, and will almost certainly get sloppy drunk and try to make a speech IF he does make an appearance. I'm banking on the fact that he won't, because he's also ridiculously wealthy, and will almost certainly send us some very lavish gift in lieu of coming.

He is SUPPOSED to be sitting beside my fiances aunt, at the same table as his grandmother, his work friend, and her girlfriend, because all four of these women are stone cold terrors who I believe are more than capable of keeping him in line on the slim chance he does come. My fiance INSISTS they won't be able to have any fun if they're running interference all night, and keeps moving him to sit at the head table instead. You know, where WE are. I finally caught him switching the label magnets on my planning board last night, and confronted him.

I tried leveraging how much I've been compromising already, that he's almost certainly going to RSVP no, and that I shouldn't have to deal with him on our big night. My fiance said he knew about all the fake emailing and such, and told me, and I QUOTE: "Look, the mind game shit was hot when it was just about the colour scheme or whatever, but I actually care about this. So you can suffer with everybody else, or you can do the normal thing and not invite a guy you hate to our wedding, you weirdo."

I said that if I did that, it would take out half his groomsmen, he called me an asshole and said I should go explain this to "literally any rational adult" so they could tell me I was in the wrong, and now here we are.

Would you recommend calling my fiance's bluff, since he doesn't want the man sitting near us either? Or should I focus on ensuring he'll turn down the invitation no matter what, so the matter of where he WON'T be sitting can be a moot point?

What are these acronyms?

Original post

The update

[fishchomp]

thoughts about life + love + growing up + finding contentment

In the wake of my personal renaissance, the likes of which have not been seen since I graduated high school, or after covid, or after deciding to grow my hair back out, I have struggled to find activities that really bring me joy.

I used to spend a lot of time just consuming media, which I was always fine with. I never really had a problem with it at all - in fact, it felt like that was where I could find the most comfort, because it was always guaranteed to bring me contentment in some way. Endlessly scrolling and posting on social media, or getting high and watching super long YouTube videos, or watching shows that I would be too embarrassed to share with others but completely happy to enjoy on my own.

I don’t feel this same joy anymore. Now all I can think when I open any social media app is how much I hate it, and how I know I’m only going on it to waste time. I actually actively feel more negatively after using it. (It’s not posting that I dislike by the way - I still enjoy creating small diaries and snapshots of my life for myself, it’s usually the endless barrage of other’s content that makes me feel like my head is filled with lead. “I hate you I hate you I hate you - I hate you because you do not see me and I can see you, I am seeing you, I cannot stop seeing you, all the time, you are trapped in here”.

I haven’t actually really watched any media of any kind in months. I just can’t bring myself to. I’ve watched some random videos on YouTube or movies here and there, but I almost feel silly attempting to completely invest myself in a fictional world. It’s like an illusion has been shattered and I can’t bring myself to care in quite the same way. Or maybe I just don’t want to. I’m not willing to enjoy it. This is a problem - because I do believe that (for better or for worse) the consumption of media is actually one of the few guaranteed joys in life. It seems like it’s kind of all that people do, really.

My attention has shifted, perhaps positively, towards the act of creation over consumption. Active versus passive. This (obviously) requires an immense amount of energy and passion over the spectator sport, which is inherently a good and healthy thing. However, this almost feels more like work than a pastime. I have no passion for my job - so in a way this is where I flow all of that energy and desire to work. This brings me joy, I presume, but come on. Nothing that you have to work for to bring you happiness counts, right??? Kidding.

I just wish I liked watching tv again, ha.

Of course, im also in the eternal struggle of love. Wanting it, yearning for it, in such a way that it’s almost painful. I see it everywhere, and I ache. I have found myself at a crossroads - the acceptance of peace in finding love for oneself and the indelible desire for someone to see me with the same amount of care that I have learned for myself. Yes, life is ultimately lived alone, and it is loved alone, but it is also meant to be shared alongside others. Companionship is not necessary for survival, but god, is it such a nice perk.

Love is guaranteed to no one, but when everyone else grows up and moves on and create their own love with someone else, where will I be? I don’t want to wish the worst on myself - I know that one day it will happen if it is meant to happen (fate, a silly thing. A stupid thing. So stupid that I cannot let go of it), and regardless of the outcome one day this ache will be dull and far away. I hope, I hope. (I hope.)

I’m finding that maybe life really is a cheap thing, though. We aren’t all meant for greatness - fine. In fact, I’ve grown comforted by the fact. Truly, truly, truly, it is the little things. Life is not the large moments but rather is the quiet walk as the sun goes down and the breeze is just right and the album you’ve listened to dozens of times and the eggs being cooked just to your liking and counting each step as you go down the staircase and playing trivia for the fun of it even if you never get the answers right. There is no shame in this - only immense joy and comfort. There is no shame in the mundane. There is no such thing as the mundane.

But the sadness - the ache - comes back when I realize that maybe all that I hope for isn’t what it seems, and it may never be. I don’t know if my mother is happy. By all accounts, she should be, but it pains me to believe that she likely is not. I mean, maybe she is. Maybe she has found contentment, and loves the little things. She has what I yearn for - people who love her and people who she loves and life’s little pleasures.

But even people in relationships fight and even people in relationships must fight to find joy in the mundane and even people who have been married for decades seem to walk on eggshells more often than not. My mother seems to live in a glass castle. Stones are being thrown at her. I think she may be too far in to outrun it. She is too tired to try. She may not even want to.

I don’t know. I don’t know, maybe happy marriages do exist. Maybe people can be together for many years and they do not grow resentful of one another. Maybe I haven’t seen it, or I haven’t been looking for it. Maybe love can persist, and maybe I can have this kind of love.

What I’m saying here is that I don’t know what dreams to rely on anymore. It all feels so uncertain, like no matter what I do there is no longer a sense of assuredness that this will definitely work out. “If nothing else happens, I know I have this” - this does not exist anymore. It’s not a good thing or a bad thing, it’s just something I need to accept and am learning to accept. (I’m sorry, I’m scared to appear too far gone. I’m not, I promise. Please believe me. I once sat on my knees and cried for you to believe me. I don’t think you did, or we would not be here. I digress.)

One day I hope to wake up and feel excited for whatever the days brings, no matter what it is. I had this, I think, and then I lost it, but then I found it again, and then I lost it in the renaissance. Funny how change will do that to you. Funny how I will never be the same again. It’s funny how guilty I feel for feeling like this. It’s funny how much I still love myself in spite of it all. In fact, I have nothing to do with this.

I read back on my journal entries from months in the past and I feel nothing but gratitude (or sometimes embarrassment, but in a good way) for how much better I feel. I pray every day for the time when I will do the same for these recent ones. Not to God, of course. But maybe.

[cynettic]

hi, i hope i'm not bothering you, but i can order a Scaramouche × Kitsune reader, the two met before the vision hunt (and before he was a fatui if you want) the reader was always in the same place, sometimes having a conversation , the good old routine, but with the hunting of visions the reader disappeared not wanting to give up his own vision, and years later a reunion, SFW or NSFW is by your will, thank you, I really admire your work

Summary - Scaramouche met you as a child, growing up with the constant assurance that you would be right there, sitting at your spot where he could meet you with every visit. He isn't happy when you suddenly disappear.

Pairing - Kitsune!Reader x Yan!Scaramouche

Warning - Slight Yandere warnings?

Penpal - Ahhh- hope this is what you were looking for. I couldn't find a spot to put much nsfw unless I considered writing more for the series ( I could, just put a request in if thats what you’re looking for ). But I hope you liked it!! You're not bothering me at all and I'm glad you like my work!

A/N - Alright- so considering that with the 2.1 update with Scaramouche coming in, I just wanna state beforehand that I wrote this prior so I dont know if we learn about his backstory or anything!!

Link for Part 2

Stay With Me

Scaramouche was used to the routine he’d found himself going along with every visit to Inazuma. As a child he’d pass through the wild fields that stretched just beside his hometown, adventurous and curious with all the tenacity of a child.

And of course you, a kitsune that sat perched on the ground awaiting the Kitsune Saiguu, was bound to notice him. Unlike the other earth kitsune statues, you hadnt turned to stone during your wait. Instead, staying in the same place did you interact with travellers and the locals, which included Scaramouche.

“Fox person!” The little boy chanted, pulling at the hems of your clothing. Bright blue eyes bore into your own, and you slowly shifted your head to pay attention to the boy who was on the verge of bouncing on you.

Humming in reply to his excitement, the little boy paused, both of his small hands still tightly clasping the fabric of your clothes. Soft matted hair brushed past his face in a messy manner, calling out the boy for his boundless running and rebellious urge to keep his hair messy despite his parents wishes.

“Play with me!”

Staring at the boy only a moment longer, you simply chuckled at his antics. “I’m afraid I cannot move from the spot in which I dwell~ Perhaps I’ll be able to entertain you if you bring cards?”

But the young boy had made up his mind at the statement to which you couldn't move. A pitiful frown enfluged his face as he cast you the nastiest glare a five year old could muster. “Boring!” He shouted into the distance of the fields, dramatically turning on his heels and bouncing up into a sprint away. You watched his small figure fade away into the background, absentmindedly sighing and returning to your mindless thoughts.

As a child, Scaramouche would pass by you fairly often. Frequent when he asked you to play with him, and storming away with the same expression when you denied him. Nothing out of the ordinary, you’d lived for an exceptional amount of time, and even though grumpy children were not your specialty, you’d grown accustomed to their behaviour.

Growing up, Scaramouche got no better. You soon noticed his violent tendencies before they became an issue, the way the children shied away from him when playing Temari. Hiding in front of a tough exterior, he scared them away and laughed, approaching you later with tearful sob.

“Will you play with me?” He asked again, trying to hide the fact that he still wept when the other children pushed him away.

But your answer stayed the same, helping him wipe his tears and coaxing him into your arms. Not the first time you’d made contact with a human, but the first time you held them in such an affectionate manner.

It was clear Scaramouche was beginning to see you as some sort of pillar of reassurance when he began running away from home to simply ask to be held. You always welcomed him with open arms, urging him to head back to his household and sort things out. There was no harm in simply providing love and comfort for a child who received none was there?

“Now now, hurry back home little one. Your parents must be growing awfully worried if you’re out by this time at night.”

“My parents dont care about me!”

Darkness slowly pooled into the fields, an obscure shade covering the two of you from the tree you were under. Biting back form your normal emotionless statements, you pondered for something to soothe and convince the boy. Misunderstandings and hardships were normal from what youd seen with children, and you could only offer your hand on his shoulder, a promise. “Go back, I promise to stay here if anything further happens. But you shold give them another chance dont you think?”

And so he’d sprint back to his hometown, and you wouldnt hear from him again till he ran up right up to you a few days later. Begging you to play a game with him. The normal you supposed, and with a grin that seemed to stretch wider with every day, you told him the same thing you told him every single time.

“You cant move?!” Scaramouche nearly yelled one time, tiny fists curling at his side. “Thats… thats stupid!”

“It is isnt it?” You only smiled in response.

Unsatisfied with your response, he clawed your arm, pulling you with all his might. Strong, you realized with surprise that he was much stronger than most children his age. Easy enough to tug away from, but strong enough to take you off guard.

Snapping your hand back to your side, you narrowed your eyes. You weren't angry… no, you hadnt felt strong feelings like that after the disappearance of the Kitsune Saiguu. “Do not attempt to move me,” was your curt response, said in the most stern voice you’d used with the boy.

He’d looked at you only a few seconds longer before bursting into tears, turning away and running. You didn't feel regretful for defending yourself, only turning once more with a tired sigh to stare at the distance.

But just as you stayed ageless, Scaramouche grew older. Still, crossing each others pass was inevitable when you sat in the plains, just alongside the path that lead to his hometown.

With a permanent scowl that seemed to stain his face, he still seemed to have mature a tad bit. Maybe hadnt improved in the social department, because he now scared children and adults and alike, but more mature…

“Hm? Whats this?”

Once again, sitting criss cross under the large tree that provided the perfect shade on sunny days, you stared at the boy expectantly. His hands hesitated at your question, but he resumed shuffling. “Cards,” he simply said in response.

A small featherlike feeling flitted across your chest, making you feel lighter and… almost ticklish. A small smile crossed your face, and you recognized the emotion to be one of adoration. For him to have remembered words you’d spoken years ago, it gave you a warmth you’d sorely missed. A warmth akin to watching him and the other children grow up.

“Ew, dont smile like that, its creepy.”

Swatting at his head, he frowned further when you laughed. “You’re more mature,” you pointed out, lazily leaning back. “You need to work on your people skills though, as someone who hasnt moved in years, thats pitiful that I know more than you.”

“Shut it!”

But as he grew up, you hardly got to see much of him. He’d reached your height and then fully disappeared, leaving no goodbye. And much as you hated to admit it, you hardly noticed, not when days passed in a flurry. You were used to being by yourself, entertaining the kids and greeting the people that passed by.

Sometimes, there’d be the reminder of the warmth he’d given you. But it was quickly overshadowed by your duty to remain seated in wait for the Kitsune Saiguu. A dedication kept in its earnest, but beginning to dwindle.

Inazuma was beginning to change.

“The vision decree…” you repeated, staring at the traveller who’d mentioned it to you. “Care to elaborate?”

The new archon threatenening to take away visions from every inhabitant of Inazuma. It was preposterous, so much that you didnt move. Your vision meant the world to you, but so did the Kitsune Saiguu. You werent sure just how you weighed the two till you saw civilians passing by you, ones you recognized, ones that didnt recognize themselves.

It was snowing, cold snowflakes melting into your skin while your hair soaked in the water. Unflinching, you hummed to a little tune, awaiting someone to pass you so that you could attempt to strike a conversation of somesort. The unnatural weather distanced all who entered the field though, and you simply waited. For the Kitsune Saiguu, for someone, or for some form of entertainment, you didnt know. You Slowly closing your eyes, you decided not to care.

“Im gone for five years and you’re still sitting here like a dumbass.”

Eyes snapping open, you find yourself face to face with a complete stranger. Dark purple hair with dark blue eyes, piercing and dangerous in a way you dont recognize at all. Fancy clothing that you cant identify or put a name on.

The boy took a step towards you, crouching down to stare at you directly. His eyes scanned over your figure briefly, and he brushed the snow out of your hair and ears with one flick of his hand. In the next, he was offering a coat to you. “Take it, you’re probably getting cold.”

You leaned forward, ignoring the coat he offered you. Gently, you raised your hand to brush the hair from his eyes, centred on the way his pupils widened. Offering a small moment of surprise and one glimpse into the small childlike blue eyed wonder he was. “Kiddo,” you breathed, pulling your hand back and scanning him once again. “You’ve grown.”

“And you havent.”

Snickering at his comment, you took the coat. You didnt need it, but he looked like he didnt either. He was already wearing clothing that kept him warm, and with careful observation and an untouched coat, you settled on the fact that he’d brought it here. Brought the coat here for you.

“Still havent improved with those social skills of yours have you?”

He scoffed, letting himself fall back till he was sitting fully. “I dont want to hear it from someone who refuses to move an inch for years. Lazy ass.”

You open your mouth to retort, but instead laugh at his comment, shaking your head. “Gained some humour on your journeys have you? Bad words too it seems. Anyways...” He had sat down, which meant that he meant fully well to sit, chat, and catch up. That familiar warmth filled your chest, a contrast between the cold snow. “Welcome back.”

It wasnt often that Scaramouche visited Inazuma, but when he did, he was sure to visit you. The two of you would sit down for hours, talking about the most trivial topics. He never mentioned what he did in his time away, and you never asked.

But things began to go downhill when news of the vision decree finally took action.

“Its no joke anymore! The Raiden Shogun has taken custody of almost a hundred visions!”

In that moment you made your decision, weighing your vision over the Kitsune Saiguu. Awfully selfish you knew, but you’d spent decades sitting there in wait.

And for the first time you sat up from your position on the ground, clumsily stumbling upright but gaining balance. It takes a few steps until you’re back to normal, and you begin your journey in order to escape the Raiden Shogun’s vision hunt decree.

_-_-_-_

You didnt expect to see him again.

Long grass tickled at the skin of your legs, making you adjust your footing to no avail. Sun slowly descending past the mountains to mark the start of an evening and the soon approaching night. A normal day of exploring the mountains and islands of Inazuma, observing the constant changing situation, and running away from the vision decree like a favourite past-time.

With the exception of a firm grip on your wrist.

Dark purple like hair, same hate brimmed eyes and lavish clothing. You recognized Scaramouche the moment he had appeared, looking just as surprised as you were. That being before he snatched your wrist and snarled, “You.”

You wouldve considered it pure luck to find him, an unexpected reunion with someone you actually remembered. But no, his tone had some predatorial edge to it that had you cringing. Hard. “Yes, its me.” You answered back with a frown, trying to loosen his hold. “Nice to see you too, is something the matter?”

He only seemed confused at your words, pulling you closer.

“Something the matter?” He asked as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Well, to start, you’re not sitting at your damn spot.”

Taken aback for a moment, you wondered if that sole fact was what drove the boy to such lengths. Surely he couldn't be so troubled over the fact that you moved… “The vision hunt decree, I'm sure I mentioned that I was sticking around in wait for the Kitsune Saiguu. I decided to wander around and avoid the conflict until I could settle back.”

“You could’ve waited for me,” he stated almost instantly. “I could have protected you.”

You felt your brows furrow quizzically. “Wait for you? Why in the world would I-”

“Why wouldn't I?” He pushed you closer till he could fully grab both wrists, taking a step closer as if his words would resonate clearer in your head. “You took care of me as a child, it would only be fair for me to repay the favour.” But he only seemed to be looking for excuses. “And besides, you can't just up and leave… I didn't know.”

Before you could interject with the obvious answer that he didn't need to know, you stopped. You’d lived decades, nearly centuries if you’d kept count, and you had learned to read people's expressions even when you’d stayed away from them for so long. He didn't know. It hit you in the most unpleasant way that he wasn't aware that it was none of his concern. To him, you were just another thing he needed to keep track of, something he had control over. His face basically screamed, ‘I depended on you to stay in that place.’

Deep breath in and out. You’d lived long, longer than him, you could deal with a child throwing a tantrum.

“Don't worry,” you gestured to the vision ta your side. “I'm strong enough to protect myself, I appreciate your concern, but I’ll be back when the vision decree ends.”

Unconvinced, he pulled you closer, just until your faces were mere inches away from each other. “No,” he said in a stern voice. “I’d rather you by my side, where I can protect you. I hate to question what you’re capable of, but you’ve been sitting down for as long as I’ve known you for.”

“I’ve lived decades more than you,” a simple reply, hopefully enough to get by him. You snatched your hands back with ease, ears flinching slightly when a cold breeze swept past you. But you stayed firm, not wanting to look vulnerable against the imposing air he had around him.

Still unconvinced. “You’re coming with me.”

“No I’m not.”

You’d known him as a kid, watched him grow up along with all the other small ones in his hometown. And maybe you admit you cared a smudge bit about the warmth he gave you when settling down to play cards, but he was different. He had changed in the worst way and you weren't about to deal with it.

“So you’re not coming with me voluntarily?” He asked softly, taking a small step to which you responded by stepping back. He had his hands up, as if telling you he wouldn't hurt you. But the way he said voluntarily sent shivers up your spine.

“No.” Hand on your vision, you held your own hand up threateningly.

He took his time when tilting his head, taking a deep breath in, and then appearing in front of you in just a short stride. Too quick to react, you hesitated before you could attack him. You didn't want to hurt him, he was still a child in your eyes, and you paid the consequences for that. He slid his hand just along your neck, and a jolt of electricity seemed to thrum inside you just as you collapsed in his arms.

Scaramouche was quick to catch you, hoisting you up into his arms dearly. “I do hope you’ll come to understand,” he said softly, cradling your unconscious form in his arms. Making sure not to crush your tail when carrying your legs, he looked past the mountains, sigh resting on his lips.

Because Scaramouche liked to have control of the things he held dear. Like keeping all your valuables neat and tidy in a closet, he was happy knowing you were safe and stable in that spot you always sat on.

And he couldn't have you moving could he?

[seerofmike]

something im starting this year is a very self-indulgent, "my year in review" thing where i list 7 video games i enjoyed this year + 7 movies from this year that i liked because as time goes on i feel like i'm getting worse and worse at determining what i did and when i did them so this is basically just a place for me to journal the things i enjoyed this year for future reference.

all the movies are 2022 releases but since i'm hardly ever on top of current video game releases. my games list is gonna be all over the place. im mixing them up. feel free to read if you want yippee it's meant for me but since its being posted publicly ill write em all up as little recommendations. going in no particular order other than alphabetical and alternating between a movie and a video game i liked this year. also why 7 of each ? because 7 is my favorite number fuck you

The Batman

-hmmm. thoughts. congratulations to our second gay batman, robert pattinson. ok this is only half a joke. i love the riddler being a twitch streamer terrorist i like when media modernizes older characters it's funny. gotham truly felt like a shithole in this movie. soundtrack fucked. can't fight city halloween was on my spotify 100 wrapped

Inscryption (2021)

-i fucking suck at this game, i still have not beaten the trapper and as i understand theres like 2 whole other parts of the game to go or something??? so no i have not beaten it yet. but i have also sunk an unholy amount of time TRYING to beat it and i didn't get sick of it. it's a very dark but very entertaining card game and it has a free demo. even if you don't like card builder games i think you should try. it has a very unique atmosphere and premise

Bullet Train

-yes i liked the cringe brad pitt action movie. fun fact this was actually specifically tailor-made for me in a factory! it has a large cast of assholes trying to kill each other and it's funny and wacky and i love the directing. that sounds so fucking nerdy to say but i want to be a film director so im gonna say it. the directing of the action sequences especially was really impressive to me because there's only so much space/movement your camera can (believably) achieve when filming in a small, rectangular, ever-moving box like a train and i think mr david leitch did it very well. also tangerine and lemon funniest characters in an action comedy ever

Milk Inside a Bag of Milk Inside a Bag of Milk (2020)

-i kind of don't want to say much about this on the off chance someone reads this and also decides to play a game on this list but. listen. play it. it's like a dollar. it's very short, it's about a girl dealing with mental illness, and that's all i'll say about it.

Glass Onion

-mr benoit blanc u are so fruity. but ohg this was fun. it was fun! and it was especially more fun to rewatch it and see all that i missed and the small moments that they weren't really trying to hide from you. i enjoy the concept of being gaslit by a movie. also janelle monae is always so fun to see act

Paradise Killer (2020)

-honestly, there is so much i hate about this game. the sprites are awkward. the voice acting is bad. the platforming is abysmal. yet it's still here because i think its world is genuinely insane and unique and it knows the exact type of vibe its going for with all these terrible people in a vaporwave reality and it achieves it and also its a murder mystery and i like those. give it a try

Everything, Everywhere, All At Once

-yeah we all know her pussy slaps. there really isn't anything new for me to add. it's funny. it's got good action. michelle yeoh best actress award NOW!!!!!

Pathologic Classic HD (2015)

-yea this one is kinda cheating. i started it last year and got like 2 hours into it and gave up and then did a bunch of other things but i finally figured out how to get my controller hooked up to my laptop this year and i played it. 100%'d it. its proudly displayed on my steam profile.

look at that. awful. horrible terrible plague walking simulator 0/10 am playing again

Nope

-i love jordan peele. i love keke palmer. i love daniel kaluuya. this movie was made FOR MEEEEEEE it was very slow and tense and i know a lot of people complained about the slow pace of it but the build-up made (SPOILER) reveal all the more terrifying. speaking of terrifying, the scene where everyone (SPOILER) is the scariest thing ive seen in years and i think i have claustrophobia now :) also akira homage <3

A Short Hike (2019)

-this one was soso cute and relaxing :) it was very funny and had a cute artstyle and i beat it in like 1 hour. not a very big commitment but its charming enough to want to come back to

Puss In Boots: The Last Wish

-ummm. so. puss in boots??? that shit slapped????????? it had NO reason to be that good. like obviously the animation has been spiderverse'd which SLAPS but the they put their whole puss(y) into this movie and they didn't have to. it's good. all the characters were SO fun, literally all of them. i love the stupid little dog. he is my scrimblo. go check it out if you haven't it is NOT the soulless cash grab i thought it would be

Slime Rancher (2017)

-so like, conceptually, this game is weird as fuck. a first person shooter where you suck up little jellies and feed them and harvest their poop. its insane. its also very relaxing but also very ...management-y, like the way stardew valley is where its technically very relaxing but you are doing SO much to maximize ur profit for the day. i love that shit. look at those things. theyre adorable

Sonic the Hedgehog 2

-ohg. knumckles

SOMA (2015)

-ok so i don't actually get scared that often BUT here is a mike secret. ocean shit SCARES me i do not like anything set under the ocean and the fact that this game takes place underwater freaks me the fuck out. i dropped my 3 hour save file to switch to little baby for bitches mode after 3 hours not because the monsters themselves are scary but because emotionally i cannot handle monsters on top of a deep sea setting. also the story was really good you should play it