maleux - Tumblr blog

maleux · 5 days ago

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Alright so I haven't posted a written post on Tumblr consistently like I used to when I was in my 20s, but I'm 32 now and felt like posting a rant that pertains to real life. Lots of context below to better illustrate what I need to say.

So I met my partner Mikal in December 2022, and we've been together ever since. I met him at my hospital job and we moved in together in an apartment in May 2024.

This is me and Mikal.

Sometime early last year, this employee rejoined the hospital (Mikal knew about him before but they never talked, Mike started out as a dishwasher and sometimes was a cook) and I'm the kind of person who tries to talk to coworkers that seem like nobody wants to talk to them. When he rejoined the hospital (I guess he went to his home state Arizona before and came back to Washington), he was hired into our department. I honestly think I made a giant mistake because this is a 45 year old man with some kind of dwarfism condition and I'm pretty sure this person has an Asian fetish and immediately became obsessed with me. I already dealt with my white 34 year old ex-boyfriend stalking and harassing me online and in real-life for over a year (he stalked my partner's social media as well and anyone I was following on social media)

That's a story I already wrote about before, I have had 6 ex-girlfriends throughout my life but I bothered with a white man who I classify as my "first boyfriend" in 2021 who ended up being a covert, abusive narcissistic person and he has a schizoaffective disorder so this dude was constantly misogynistic and manipulative towards me, and always talking about sex workers and Belle Delphine and acting like a victim. (And always blathering about conspiracy theories)

His whole family doesn't even like him and I had to talk to his younger brother about the stalking when he kept coming to my old apartment (I called the police and filed a report). After this man discarded me in May 2022 he kept trying to contact me and make multiple accounts online and kept following me on burner accounts on Instagram. My whole family even thinks this man is crazy and he is the type of person to "crazy-make" any girlfriend he's with and even though I identify as nonbinary, I can tell he views me in a sexist way that I "think and act like a woman." He wants to believe I am like a dumb, conceited "girl" I'm sure just like every misogynistic man thinks. This guy was one of those types who had incel mentality and bothered about egirls. I'm not even an egirl lmfao. This man ended up leaving his younger brother's lease randomly and stealing his cat - and is basically cosplaying as a homeless man. He would shit talk his ex-girlfriend yet try meeting up with her, and this girl was cheating on her then-girlfriend at the time LOL (and always looking at my Instagram, at the time I was 29/30 years old and this ex-girlfriend of his is 25)

He's pretending he was disowned and living as a homeless person after discarding me when his and my family know he is a lost cause and actually having delusional thinking due to his psychotic episodes and disorder. Regardless, he was still manipulative even when he was medicated and always trying to purposely cheat and lie to me. It was the worst relationship I ever had, and all my friends knew he acted theatrical with every girl he was with.

In reality this man doesn't know shit about me and my past, nor who Victor really is.

Fast-forward and I have to deal with a weird similar thing again with a different person at my own job.

Note: I have a 10+ year friendship with my ex-partner Michi. My partner Mikal and Michi are also friends, and Michi has lived with a boyfriend since 2019. I talk to Michi every day even if our long-term relationship ended a long time ago and both her and I are gifted with our intuition, we both have hereditary clairvoyant gifts (bloodline thing within our family) and we know people's motives and intentions easily. I used to have premonition dreams when I was with my ex-partner (of her), and when I met Mikal, I would always have premonition dreams of him and I still do.

This person who is a coworker at my job is named Mike and has the traditional name "Michael" - my partner's name is Mikal. I think this coworker has been jealous of my partner constantly and he is the one who asked for our phone numbers and we only hanged out with him once. I would talk to him here and there and at first since I thought he was normal like everyone else.

Over time I started noticing weird and creepy shit from this guy. He would say he's writing stories of characters based on everyone at work (my ex-partner Michi felt he was writing fanfiction of his coworkers having affairs with him), he would make attempts to physically touch me or flirt with me which I found GROSS (like try to put his hand on my shoulder or ram his body into my side), and all kinds of other weird behaviors. Such as trying to constantly ask about my availability every week, wanting to help me move from my old apartment (and not Mikal's), asking if I can be his emergency contact, and eventually he kept overstepping my boundaries that I eventually just stopped talking to him and do not communicate at all whatsoever with him in my workplace because I think he's actually a borderline pedophile. After this happened I found out through another younger coworker (she's in her younger 20s, Mike also had some weird crush on her too since she's half Japanese) he's trying to date a past 24 year old coworker and he's now attached himself to one of our younger Asian female coworkers.

Which is really funny because this younger Asian female coworker already has a negative reputation she's known to like sleeping with older men, likes talking to older male workers in the workplace AND last year I filed an HR report on a married 55 year old cook who got fired for sexual harassment (because this disgusting man kept trying to make advances on me), and this man would constantly keep hugging this girl (ew)… and she has had an abusive ex-boyfriend who went to jail so she tried crashing once at Mikal's old apartment (she thinks I do not know this, Mikal only let her sleep on the floor and that's it and he and I know her intention was to probably try to sleep with him).

His mother thinks this girl is extremely problematic and she likes to use people as a wallet since she never has money apparently, so Mikal eventually cut her off and stopped talking to her. This Mike guy has no idea what kind of history this person has lol but I knew his intentions were clear when he immediately tried to flirt with her after I seriously cut him off. I was right all along. I knew this guy's intentions was not friendship but he was hoping I'd have some affair on my partner which is beyond gross because I've worked very hard since 2018 to be the person I am today and not let anyone bring chaos or weird shit into my life. I never even was attracted to him at all (and honestly the dude looks very unattractive).

I've already reported all this to my supervisor and one of our leads at work know too about his unwanted touching and shit. My supervisor (who is our manager, supervisors are not like assistant managers) is well aware of this and I found out through the younger female coworker he has done meetings with our supervisor bringing me and that female coworker up, overanalyzing how we're feeling and asking how we act around him wtf. Who the hell does that??!??! I come to my job to earn my income and improve my work performance, not because I'm making a big fucking deal out of strangers I work with.

This whole time though, this Mike guy treats my partner Mikal like he's stupid. Imagine a neckbeard 45 year old who is below 5 feet in height with a higher pitched voice, being patronizing to my 5'11 boyfriend. (Also, yes, Mikal and I have the same work schedules and we typically work together most of the week, and unfortunately this guy works in the same position as us, we're divided into two sub-departments and Mikal and I and this dude work in the same sub-department 3 out of 5 days of the work week). I just can't believe this guy even had such an inflated ego to believe I was somehow attracted to that. WTF. When I started putting the pieces together I felt horrified.

I bothered being nice to this short asshole and he ended up becoming all obsessive over me and getting in bad moods whenever I was talking with my own partner Mikal at work. Why the fuck would I even want anything to do with a weird person like that???

I'm with a house husband type of partner which is what I want. I have very specific tastes. But it doesn't matter if I state what my preferences and everything are in a man (I am a bisexual nonbinary trans person, who used to identify as transmasculine back in the day and I used to be on testosterone hormones), this guy shouldn't have even been making advances on me and assuming I was the type of person to cheat or want any kind of work affair.

Me being friendly is not an invitation for any of that. I think it's just so gross this guy suddenly went from saying he's straight to bisexual, claiming he's queer, trying to force some kind of exchange of gifts too he wanted me to go buy some queer pins off Amazon and exchange it with him, and didn't even bother getting Mikal a gift after claiming he will get it for both of us. And then he insisted on offering to give me money which I declined because Mikal thought that was fucking weird, and I was the one who brought up to Mikal after we got off work that I felt uncomfortable and that this coworker was definitely making me feel gross. I told Mikal I felt this coworker was trying to third-wheel us and essentially his hidden intention was hoping I'd somehow be into him or be alone with him (and that's why I made the decision to stop talking to and ignore this coworker because I REALIZED HE'S A SEXUAL PREDATOR).

This coworker is a sexual predator, period. He's a 45 year old trying to pursue Asian girls, girls in relationships, and much younger people who are 20-24 years old. I don't look my age but that is no excuse, I am 13 years younger than this guy and I don't want to be friends or anything with some weird balding, stubby man who fantasizes about sexual scenarios with me and is envious of people's boyfriends.

This past weekend this same coworker has now done the same thing that every other coworker at my job does when they hold grudges: They try to attack your work performance or work ethic if they can't get a reaction out of you. I noticed when our elder Chinese coworker corrected him that he missed something on a tray, he shifted the blame onto my gay coworker and claimed he missed it. He's also doing the same thing to both Mikal and I… like dude, what kind of 45 year old acts like a child and throws a tantrum for more than 5 months now just because I don't want to hangout with or talk to something more than 10 years older than me who is being invasive of my relationship?????

I've been together with my partner for awhile now and this man is acting like he needs to be important in my life when he's just a stranger and he doesn't know who I really am because he is all into Japanese culture (a fucking Asian fetishist motherfucker) and he idealizes and stereotypes who I am because of the way I look. Just because I have purple hair and do my makeup and dress feminine does not fuckin mean I'm demure, submissive, or docile, and I hate saying things are girly or manly or whatever the fuck, but I am nothing like a lot of men imagine, and I have a foul mouth and I don't have feminine mannerisms. I love to look pretty but I am not into short men, dominant tryhard dudes, alpha fuckers, or men trying to act like a "daddy" (you get the picture). I've dealt with weird shit like this all the time but I'm so sick of it.

I got the man and type of partner I want and I'm content. I have a tall, handsome partner who is biracial and he's half black and half white, and I can't ask for anything more because my partner and I both know what it's like to have mixed experiences! (I'm half Korean and half Vietnamese so my partner understands what it's like to have different racial or ethnic experiences).

I felt like just venting all this on here… I already filed an HR report on this coworker by the way. Unfortunately HR is HR, and they don't always help - so they viewed it as a warning for this employee because he's never had an HR report done on him. But now I know he has a pattern of doing predatory shit even at his past jobs. I'm not entirely sure what to do but this guy really is creepy and gross to both Mikal and I, and Mikal can tell he definitely isn't bisexual because he acts competitive with men and acts jealous of other men. This short neckbeard who is balding and wears the same fucking flannels every single day, is sexist as hell because he idealizes Asian women at this job. Like …if I never met Mikal, I would never date coworkers, period. I would never consider coworkers as dating options what the fuck. Mikal is an exception since we both weren't seeking partners and we happened to be friends first before mutually deciding to be in a relationship. Aside from that though, I will always think it's utterly weird and strange how people at my job (and it's common this happens in hospitals because cheating culture is normalized in these places wtf) think their coworkers are like the closest thing to convenient flirting and relationships. I find all of my coworkers average and basic, and all of them are straight and it's not a very queer-friendly place to me. I have very different types of friends outside of work and all of my relationships in the past were never from workplaces. I just think (and I'm going to say this bluntly and strongly) that most people are losers when they look for love in the workplace intentionally. I think even my supervisor said the same thing, she told me this person needs to quit looking for and expecting friendships or an intimate relationship from the workplace.

Also why the fuck would I want to be friends with a guy who is jealous of my boyfriend and secretly (more like obviously) has some weird obsessive crush on me?????????? I don't like simpy men and women, and I've definitely experienced a simpy 44 year old woman back then (who also was a coworker with a Japanese fetish) that I found annoying.

I think I'm just sick and fed up with people having appearance bias with me and also viewing Asian people like a monolith - and always assuming so much shit based off East Asian culture and stereotypes, and then associating that with gender roles or gendered behavior. At the end of the day I am who I am and not a fantasy or exotic trophy. I'm lucky I'm with a boyfriend who isn't a weeb but still likes anime. I think these men who have become crazy in the head and let me have this much power over them mentally, are unrealistic as shit. These men really think I'm like some rare, uncommon thing they'll never come across again, but I'm a person with Complex PTSD. I've lived with an abusive narcissistic mother (physical and emotional abuse for god's sake) for over 20 years before. I lived in domestic violence. I know unsafe signs when I see it and I know an unsafe person when I see it, and not just sense it.

I think these men are all mad and upset they can't be entitled to me but they forget I have my own free-will, my own opinions and judgments, my own thoughts, and I do not exist for them what the fuck. It's like these men have never been exposed to different types of people at all. I'm not saying I'm ordinary, but I am saying that I am NOT FOR EVERYONE. I like intellectual conversation more than anything else, I don't care about people's weird sychophant behaviors, their admiration, their weird romantic or sexual attractions. I'm not even asking for that, I don't even want that because I already have someone who sees me and loves me for who I really am and lives with me and knows that I fucking fart all the time, I hate doing my makeup at times, and I look like a nerd when I feel like it, and that I AM A NERD and not always look the way I do in photos. I think these men (and even some women in my life) view me through a very delusional lens because they want to fit me into a role or project what they want me to be, it's so frustrating living a life where I am constantly misunderstood and never these people make an actual effort to get to know me or really have the courage to just ask about me or know about my life, my family, my past, or what has shaped me or my traumas.

And I wish these words could have reached my past 4000+ following on my since-defunct Tumblr because I think in my 20s I was definitely egoistic when hundreds of girls constantly messaged me having crushes on me, but I am now in my 30s and I am a lot more settled and humbled in life. I have all these experiences and in retrospect I really thought about it, it's not often people have these experiences, so it's not like this puny neckbeard man could possibly understand because all he thinks about is how lonely he is and nobody likes him but it's like dude you brought that upon yourself, you put me on a pedestal and then bit off way more than you could chew. So instead of learning to heal, he's going to be defensive and want to believe he's being deceived, and continue the same cycle of behaviors again with the next person. Fucking hell, I'm glad I am me and living in my body and mind, and not anyone else's.

#Fuck this guy to hell #I'm this close to hexing him #My spirits already know he's not a good person

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