#really considering going back to my old account tbh

[milessunflowers]

soulmate!omega!kimi antonelli with childhood best friend!alpha!reader who goes into heat for the first time and he's scared?

STOP THIS IS GONNA BE CUTE TRUST

soulmate!omega!kimi antonelli x soulmate!alpha!male!reader

synopsis: for as long as you have known each other, you've known you were soulmates. it was only a matter of time before you presented. what you didn't account for was how scary that would turn out to be

author's note: guys i swear ive been meaning to write, i just got so busy with school and extra curriculars but now that it is my spring break/holiday, i will hopefully write more! this is obviously going to be suggestive, so if you do not want to read, you can skip!

you guys have known each other your entire lives

and once you were old enough to really understand what a soulmate was, you guys instantly knew that tug between you guys meant you were soulmates

you would brag to schoolmates about it and were just so happy

when you reached grade 8, that's when you finally learned more about omegas, betas, and alphas, and what goes along with each designation

it wasn't a big deal to either of you because regardless you were destined to be together

you guys knew it would take a bit to present so you didn't even worry too much about it

that was until you noticed something different about kimi on a random thursday

he woke burning up and sweaty and needy

he was practically rubbing himself you

you panicked because you didn't know what to do

you hadn't even presented so how were you supposed to know how to take care of a freshly presented omega?!

you frantically searched google for answers and followed what it was saying

you brought him nesting supplies, made sure there was food nearby, and tried to find something to substitute for a knot

turns out, you only needed that substitute for a few hours because your soulmate's heat triggered your rut

freshly presented omega, meet your freshly presented alpha

it was a lot of fumbling and neediness

you were trying to fuck him gently but you also wanted to mate him so badly

kimi was begging you to fuck him harder and mate him

it was hard to resist mating considering you guys were soulmates but you didn't even have a chance to talk over mating before all of this happened

(you guys didn't mate the first time thank gosh because you wouldn't know what to do)

during the first small break, you managed to text beta!ollie to help you out since ollie had helped omega!paul and alpha!dino through this before

ollie is super good at taking care of you guys since he's the best friend any of you could ask for

he makes sure you guys have fresh nesting supplies, food, water, and anything else you need

he stays in the guest room while you guys are in heat/rut

he does have to wear headphones because he does not want to hear his best friends go at it

kimi is such a loud moaner, especially when begging for your knot

turns out, it feels amazing with your soulmate

during breaks when your knot deflates, you help kimi clean up a bit, rebuild a nest, and use the restroom before cuddling him

ollie does bring better food than the small snacks you had so you help feed kimi

who looks so in love and content that you just want to kiss him all over

and you do

it takes a week for everything to die down

on the final day, kimi and you just cling to each other and cuddle

ollie tries to coax you guys to the bath to clean up but kimi whines and you accidentally snap at ollie

ollie just sighs and gives up

you and kimi nuzzle together and scent each other for the first time

i feel like kimi would smell like the beach tbh

and you have never felt more protective of him

once you guys are back together, you do tell your parents so they don't worry then go clean up the bedroom

then kimi has to talk to mercedes about his heat cycle, to make sure they don't interfere with races too much

in the paddock now, you guys are more insufferable

you are always by kimi and kimi always has a hand around you somehow

to a lot of people, you just remind them of alex and george

funny enough, george claims kimi as his paddock pup so it makes sense

alex helps you navigate how it works being an alpha while george tutors kimi on how it works being an omega

they also tell you it's okay to be however this is just the basics

kimi honestly is more protective of you than him but that doesn't mean you don't snap at people when kimi is upset

the next time kimi is in heat, you don't go into rut so you panic again

you call alex and ask him what to do

alex hands george the phone and he tells you what you can do

it works for a while but the panic doesn't subside when kimi is still begging for more

you call alex again and he (sheepishly) explains to you that you just need to fuck him

you burn bright red and hang up, definitely embarrassed but it works

you can't look george or alex in the eyes the next time you see them (and the same goes for the next few weeks)

kimi teases you about it all the time until he has to call george or alex about your rut

then it's a back and forth thing

kimi always smells like you and you always smell like kimi

you guys are so smiley and happy together, especially after you guys mate later on

bigger smiles than ever

that really solidifies you guys being mini galex since george and alex had the same look you guys do

TAGS! (if you want to be added, lmk!)

@op-81-lvr-reblogs, @koalapastries, @justaf1girl, @ghostking4m, @spoonfulofmilo, @seonghwaexile, @alex-wotton, @raizelchrysanderoctavius

[rawliverandgoronspice]

I'm thinking about going back to my old Zelda WIPs and continuing writing them. Since Ganondorf is a huge part of them, and you have a PHD in Gerudo, I was hoping you could help me with some tips. How do I avoid orientalism as much as possible while still keeping him morally grey and/or a villain? (Different incarnations are different degrees of morality in my fics).

It's ok if you just forward links from your blog where you already discussed it. I'd just like directions on how to find them, hehe.

Hellooo I'm sorry it took me so long to get to your ask, I wanted to make sure I had good refs for it (and was very busy ;;)

So I do not think I can claim to have a PhD in Gerudo when tumblr users @bloobluebloo and @blackautmedia share this website with me (among others), but I can recommand Bloo's thoughts overall, their blog is a great resource; and Blackautmedia has done an amazing and super thorough breakdown of the Gerudo situation (and TotK) in this Youtube video.

(and of course, Edward Saïd's body of work for a more precise breakdown of Orientalism, where it comes from, why it exists, and the countless ways in which it manifests in culture and geopolitics)

To give my own two cents on the matter, I think there's several things to take into account:

the very framework being proposed by Nintendo is born out of orientalist sensitivities, and so a lot of the very fundamental ideas that led to the gerudos and Ganondorf existing as they do will never be neutral. That doesn't mean we can't do anything with them or that they are inherently corrupted (tho some people think the subject is messy enough to make them unwilling to engage with it in any way, which is fair enough), but any narrative decision being taken will probably carry on that weight, that framework. Some parts (like the very harem-like logic of the one guy many girls --even if it's not how gerudos are interacting within canon, we know where the inspiration came from) are kind of very deeply baked in. We can recontextualize it and make it interesting or human or complicated or just not really deal with it (or break the rules entirely, some people decide they don't want to deal with the one guy many girls situation and more power to them honestly), but there's only so much anyone can do about the framework. There's going to be some authorial intent happening no matter what.

Speaking of authorial intent, I guess my (general tbh) advice is: know what interests you, be sensitive to your own internal motivations, be informed of other people's perspectives, and figure out what you are comfortable with, and why. It's a combination of what drives you and being aware of the choices you're making. You can even disagree with other perspectives of course, but it's about making sure you understand your own reasoning and can stand by it within your own art.

Then I guess my main take is: Ganondorf can be as brutal and as selfish as he wants (as a treat) and that will never erase the fact that he lives in a feudal world where the main neighboring kingdom has arbitrarily decided his people (and by extension himself) is considered lesser than a hylian, and that his only path to being considered good is to accept that reality for himself, and kneel and happily become a vassal with zero resentment towards anything. That is kind of the fundamental Zelda game situation: Ganondorf being dissatisfied at his own status leads to him reaching for the biggest source of power available, at any cost. Then, you can complicate him in ways as extreme as him saying he went on to this quest for the sake of his people and was vilified in extreme ways as punishment for this, or in less extreme ways, by deciding he did throw his entire people under the bus with complete disregard --but that it doesn't change the fundamental injustice that pushed him to pursue this path of domination for his own selfish sake. And then, there's entire worlds of nuance between these two extremes, and many, many ways to sidestep what I just outlined and decide this is an AU and Ganondorf's story is about something else entirely.

Honestly, my biggest suggestion is just: give this dude an internal world. It doesn't have to be a sensitive and tearful one, but just some internal reasoning, a sense of purpose, and weave in some of the qualities we see in the games in which he appears, and you have a guy who can cause a big mess and still be terrifying and still be a person.

And then of course I could start to wax poetry about all the angles I see one could pursue with him, all of his relationship to the gods, to fate, to agency and control, to violence and strife and resistance and madness and humanity and and and --yeah there's a lot to find in that thick red hair of his in my opinion, and it's just about... kind of, being interested in that. It doesn't have to be the main focus of course, and you can just have a Ganondorf who's there to provide conflict and be a big guy who's really into having the fight of his life, but there's always this risk of forgetting why he's angry, what shaped him, and therefore falling into tropes of... I don't know, he's a rapist for no reason just because it felt logical that he would be one 🙃 (not saying it can never ever be a take, but to refuse to give him any room for introspection on why he ever would be one given both his very... "I never showed even a hint of sexual interest towards anyone in canon" + "I grew up among a group of ostracized-yet-fetishized women" circumstances might just be the orientalism speaking unfortunately )

So yee!! Those are my perspective!! I hope it's helpful in any way!!!

[d-lanx]

Wrestlemania Predictions

Ok now smackdown is done I'm doing final predictions before mania tomorrow :) i have no doubt 90% of this will be wrong.

Jey Uso vs Gunther

Really hoping this match has some blood, cos if Gunther doesn’t try to do the same to Jey as he did to Jimmy, that’d be stupid. I feel like Jey is defo gonna win this, maybe due to Gunther being too busy showboating instead of focusing on the match. Cos he’s been real keen on mocking Jey recently. Possible a Jimmy return too, but I hope he doesn’t get too involved, cos Jey needs to win this clean if he’s gonna be taken seriously as new champ, cos a lot of people are doubting him. I still want Gunther to win though, just cos he’s my dude and I will support all his rights and wrongs.

Preditction: Jey Uso Who I Want: Gunther

War Raiders vs New Day

I don’t have as much in the way of theories for this one. I think New Day need the win cos so far all they do is whine and not much else. They need a win for some credibility and I’d like to see their first heel title run. The only way I can see them losing rn in a way that would be interesting is if Big E came back and did some shenanigans to cost them the match. And as great as it would be, I don’t think it’s gonna happen.

Prediction: New Day Who I Want: New Day

Rey Mysterio vs El Grande Americano

This whole schtick has had some funny moments, I’ll admit, but I don’t see this going beyond mania, especially with the controversy behind it. I just don’t think it’s worth it. I think Rey’s winning and gonna unmask him and that’ll be it. Although it would be kinda funny if on the raw after mania, Gable and Americano come out and stand next to each other and are two different people, or if when the mask comes off in ring it isn’t Gable. But I don’t think that’s gonna happen tbh. Just end it at mania and we can all move on with our lives.

Prediction: Rey Mysterio Who I Want: Rey Mysterio

Jade Cargill vs Naomi

Honestly I have no idea. I think Jade could do with a win since coming back but Naomi also could do with the credibility as a heel. It could go either way in my mind. But I do think Jade has a better chance for her to get some revenge. But still, I feel like it could defo go either way.

Prediction: Jade Cargill Who I Want: Jade Cargill

LA Knight vs Jacob Fatu

Hoping they’re finally gonna pull the trigger on Fatu as a solo act, cos his stuff’s been really cool so far. I also feel like Knight doesn’t really need the title and could probably move on to fighting for a world title instead. So YEAH.

Prediction: Jacob Fatu Who I Want: Jacob Fatu

Tiffany Stratton vs Charlotte Flair

Very excited for this one considering all the supposed backstage drama with it. I hope they kill each other. I also hope WWE have realised from the rampant booing of Charlotte that she does not need another title and that it is in fact Tiffy Time.

Prediction: Tiffany Stratton Who I Want: Tiffany Stratton

Roman Reigns vs CM Punk vs Seth Rollins

Oh god this is gonna be messy and I have a LOT of thoughts. Tbh I’m not really sure how this one will go. Part of me thinks Punk might get the win on account of the fact that it’s his first mania main event. Another part of me says Seth’s gonna win via Paul Heyman shenanigans even though he said he had no intention of getting the favour he claimed to be owed from Heyman. I definitely feel like this is gonna be the start of some new feud or extending this one in some way. I've wondered if Heyman might wind up with Seth and Roman & Punk try to save him, but that might be a bit too campy. The most likely thing in my mind, is that Roman and Seth try to work together to beat Punk, but Punk beats them, as he's done so many times before. And this sets up some feud with Roman and Seth, since their old SHIELD bullshit is still getting in the way of their lives, and they need to just put it to bed. I really hope this happens, cos I want Punk to be rid of shield related storylines and people whinging about him leaving over a decade ago because he had a staph infection and got fired. I just wanna move on and get feuds with Gunther or Cena or just about anyone else. But if this really is the end and all three just go their seperate ways afterwards, then I have no idea what will happen. I expect we'll be getting Roman Reigns vs CM Punk at some point down the line, but not sure how this match will lead to it, if it does (I'm writing this past 4am so maybe I'll get a better idea when I've slept). Also I feel like out of everyone, Heyman is the only outright face in this story. So I'm sort of judging everyone on how they treat him. Seth has been nothing but a bitch the Heyman, and out of the lot, I'm getting the most sinister vibes from him. Like he's so obsessed with removing the man he deems a cancer (Punk) that he doesn't realise he's becoming a cancer himself. Reigns is a bit muddy because he isn't outright evil, but him getting quite angry at Heyman is a red flag. And of course with Punk, they had the whole battered wife thing with Heyman and Punk coming to Heyman's aid (even if it was unsuccessful) on two occasions. So I'd say in this feud, Punk is the closest thing to a face, and Seth to a heel. But I'm sure people on here could argue about that till the cows come home. Because obviously none of them are really a face or a heel, which is why this is so hard to determine. They're all pretty grey in this so it's hard to say for certian, but yeah, for now I'll say Punk, just cos I'm hoping he will feud with someone else next, and he's closest to being a face out of the lot.

Prediction: CM Punk Who I Want: CM Punk

Iyo Sky vs Bianca Belair be Rhea Ripley

I'll be honest, this feels kinda obvious to me. I'm betting Iyo wins. They've been disrespecting her SO MUCH I just feel like at this point, she needs the win to remind them who's boss. I think maybe Rhea and Bianca will be too busy spatting, and Iyo will take advantage, just how she did when she won the title in the first place. She's gonna fight to be taken more seriously as a champion and I'm here for it.

Prediction: Iyo Sky Who I Want: Iyo Sky

Liv Morgan & Raquel Rodriguez vs Bayley & Lyra Valkyria

I dunno. All the talk about "they're not even a real tag team" from Liv is making me think that Bayley and Lyra will win with the power of friendship. It's hard to say, to be honest, since this match was decided so late and had very little build. But here we are. Still hoping for Liv and Raquel to win, cos I love those little shits.

Preditction: Bayley & Lyra Valkyria Who I Want: Liv Morgan & Raquel Rodriguez

AJ Styles vs Logan Paul

Ok, as is tradition, I'll probably go for a piss or get something to eat since LP is gonna be on my screen. Can't stand him. But I also have a gut feeling he's gonna win. Dunno why. Tbh I don't really know anything about this feud cos it's another that hasn't had much going on, and when I is on screen, I either busy myself with something else, or marvel at how much the crowd is booing. I'll be honest, I don't actually know at this point what this feud is even about. But I have a scray feeling LP is gonna win because of course he will (I'm probably just being paranoid). But I really don't want him to.

Prediction: Logan Paul Who I Want: AJ Styles

Bron Breakker vs Penta vs Finn Bálor vs Dominik Mysterio

I think this match should be called "The Destruction Of The Judgement Day". Cos Liv and Raquel are always off doing their own thing now. Carlito is just a side character anyway. JD is gone. Finn and Dom have been getting pissy. I feel like Dom is on the rise right now, and is gonne win this. Finn might be happy that judgement day won, but I think he's gonna be more pissed about him not winning. Judgement Day is definitely on it's last legs, and I feel like the story with Dom and Finn is the only thing holding it together now. So I'm betting shenanigans will happen, and Finn and Dom will start feuding, and the Judgement Day will be no more. As for who I want, even though I don't think either will get it at all, I'll be rooting for Penta because I just really fucking like him, and also Bron mostly because of the parody of Steiner Math that he did on the kickoff show today. I'm just really fucking with that guy right now. Also his spear and his speed are always peak. But I'm happy with a Dom win because that makes a lot more sense story-wise, anyway.

Prediction: Dominik Mysterio Who I Want: Penta/Bron Breakker

Damian Priest vs Drew McIntyre

I'm really not so sure who's gonna win this one. All I know is I want Drew to win, because that's my fucking guy. I think the crowd is definitely behind him, and part of me is wondering if he may end up turning face again, but being the Little-Shit™ type of face. I think he deserves his revenge against Damian. But at the same time, I feel like Damian's gonna win to get his necklace back. So unless this is gonna be the start of a multi-match feud, then I think Damian's gonna be winning this one :(

Prediction: Damian Priest Who I Want: Drew McIntyre

Cody Rhodes vs John Cena

Ok, and now the big one. I will always be a Cena fan. I've been watching WWE since '06, and been properly invested since '09. So Cena was always a childhood hit. I want him to win his 17th title. I'm really not too precious about Cody or his championship reign. And tbh, after all the fuss of him winning it, it needed to be something big to lose it, and this would definitely work. Also, usually the heel regularly gets one over on the face in a feud, to make them more of a threat for the actual match. And yet Cody has repeatedly overpowered Cena with ease. He quite famously has to do a crossrhodes multiple times to get anyone to stay down. And yet TWICE a single crossrhodes has killed Cena. So now Cena's looking almost like an underdog. I feel there's gonna be some shenanigans in the match on the day. Probably involving the Rock. But I think story-wise it also makes sense for Cena to win, because you can then do the whole thing of everyone trying to win the title back so he can't retire with it at the end of the year. Like a big countdown timer. Also I can't help but notice the parallels to CM Punk. Cena winning this title and retiring with it feels a lot like MITB 2011. But also, the idea of him winning the belt and there being a countdown to him leaving and people trying to win it back so it stays in the company, also feels a lot like the Summer of Punk. It's making me feel like there could be a Punk feud coming up after this. Maybe not immediately, but soon (maybe MITB?). So yeah, I just feel like having Cena win would give more options for storylines for the rest of his retirement tour.

Prediction: John Cena Who I Want: John Cena

So there we go. Chances are 99% of this could be wrong. And as it always happens when I post any pre-PLE predictions, someone will comment about something I completely forgot about that ends up making me change my mind. But for now, I'm gonna leave it at that. Otherwise I'll be theorising all night. And I wanna watch HOF and just go to bed right now. So yeah :)

[jjmorelikeotp]

Okay so I am watching BTVS for the first time in my life & I'm currently on season 6 E 14, and one thing I really really love is how Spike is just so...comitted.

With Angel, I personally had the feeling he was grieving the person he could be, all sad and sappy in his misery that kinda clung around him all the time (ik we're calling spike a drama queen but. THAT MAN? Depressed himbo vibes. No offense.) Even though he had a soul, there was this feeling of self pity in him - and it makes sense considering the fact he probably knew that one true moment of happiness would turn him back into a monster, and that is rly depressing tbh.

Does not change the fact that Buffy being underage when being with him is totally absurd and predatory, there, I said it.

He is kind of the big scary monster guy and sometimes she does seem like a normal 16 year old, and by that, naive or simply, young.

It made me feel like she was prey, not gonna lie.

It is what stopped him from truly comitting to Buffy. I mean yeah, their love was pure and they definetely are soulmates in some way. They truly affected each other's fate.

But this is where Spike is different than Angel as well. He is truly COMITTED to what he's doing, he is all in for buffy. Like, the way he offers to make money for her when she needs it? That offer is NOT a deal-kind-of-offer. He truly wants to help her and it is so casually because he already is in full partner mode, in whatever way she needs. Offering comfort when she has to work a double shift (yeah by fucking outside, mkay, just the spuffy way ig) like that because he is actually afraid she will lose her sanity? Even though they drive each other insane? Yeah these scenes are not talked about enough.

In that same scenario, Angel never even would have showed up. He would have waited in front of the building after Buffy ended her shift, maybe. He never even offered to be in her life like that, while both of them found a million excuses for it. But Spike does not. He just simply does stuff that COULD be the solution if he ever even thought of them being a problem.

And I think that is also why he's so pissed about Buffy going on and off about him - to Angel, she seemed so comitted, but to him, he just does not seem to be able to.

And again, it make sense, but I also think we don't talk enough about the fact that Buffy did indeed kill Angel, when it wasn't even necessary as in "he was soulless and a monster" anymore. Even though she loved him. But only when she had a really really good reason/purpose.

So one thing that might be also pushing her away from spike is the thought of having to do that again, and desperately trying to find the purpose without being able to.

He makes her choose wether she wants to be the prey or the hunter in this. On purpose. To show her her options and her power because she never really got to experience both sides / perspectives with Angel OR Riley.

So while she tries to figure out 1. Her reason why she should kill him (which should be a very very valid one so she can bring up the power to do so) 2. Her life's purpose in general, he just ... delivers purpose, not to her, but as in, her being the purpose. That's what he acts like and That's what she can't handle. Yes, she is the reason he is trying to change, but also, he puts her in the Position of being the purpose of him doing that.

Showing her the self responsibility and ability to be her own purpose and make her own decisions. (After her friends all kind of screwed up that kind of SELF responsibility.) He really does man up in this show, and like I said, these are just my thoughts watching it for the first time (did not see angel the series yet).

He is also holding her accountable even though he has a soft spot for her, and she is not used to that. She treats him like a man, yes, but he treats her like an equal as well and always has. She is used being looked down upon by adults or the council, enemies, blablablah, also her friends who "saved" her earlier this season, or being the superslayer hero and leader who has to do everything. She is always in positions. Even with angel, she was, it kind of stopped when they broke up but even then, he treats her like she does not know SHIT. Something is standing between them and always has been, and while Angel kind of used that as an excuse to keep distant and keep their walls up, Spike uses these exact walls as a reason or challenge to tear them down. Spike never acts like things are not his fault even if they are horrible, he just simply accepts his dark side while still having a normal one, with passions on tv and card games and whatever. He *subconciously* takes responsibility even before having a soul, for stuff he did, he doesn't blame his vampire side or whatever for it.

I think in subtext, Buffy always had a slight commitment to angel, as in "maybe, one day, it can still happen" while angel cut off all those hopes for himself (not his desires, maybe. But his ... solution oriented search or smth) as we can see when he visits her at her mom's funeral.

And one other reason why Buffy is so terrified of that whole Spike thing is because it makes her stop that hope for angel or resolve that feeling of being owned by (her feelings for) him.

And don't get me wrong, Spike is kinda possessive too, but as I see it he is trying to commit to a relationship where she can own herself and that is what terrifies her truly.

(That's what we see him do with drusilla from the beginning)

You understand what I mean? If you got thoughts on it let me know!

[puckpocketed]

hello i was tagged by @18minutemajor for WIP Wednesday. it is not Wednesday but i am also not a cop so . here we gooo!!!!!!! tagging my esteemed colleagues (very politely and with no pressure!!!):

@neonfretra @oensible @sorrellegiance @moregraceful @stereax

@wheelsnipecelebrini

@korshrimpski (EDIT: it won’t?? let me tag you. unless these are on separate lines <3)

what's in-progress in your life <3 writing? art? recipe? skill acquisition?

if any crafty people see this - if ANYONE sees this - and would like to join in, feel free and consider yourself tagged <3 (and tag me back so i can see your stuff!!!) link to 18minutemajor's post if yall curious :3 my VERY long wip dump + ramblings under the cut!

its christmas soon and i like to paint gifts for my friends + and i'm finally revisiting my anime/lineart/inking era (here you are K!! my lineart past, present, and future!! <3) so here are some things i've been working on/coming back to/MAY NEVER FINISH: hockey related:

this is juraj slafkovsky and his dinky little middle part which he can absolutely learn to style into something a little less dinky but never does. i am so charmed by him. i imagine he just rocks it because his pretty privilege supersedes dinky middle parts . LMAO!!

here is Sasuke from my Naruto Hockey AU. I am a little stuck on jersey mockups lol. here he is. our haunted little 1OA who is absolutely normal and regular about his captain (LOUD incorrect buzzer):

personal oc art

wanna know some puckpocketed deep lore? i've never been one to make OCs. i was just not a very creative kid tbh. spent all my time drawing sailor moon instead. i still go back to her sometimes because she is one of my favourite shapes in the WORLD!!

in my 20s i took up playing d&d because of the. uh. plague. <3 and got pretty close to having OCs!! those count right? anyway. here is my tavern-wench-turned-wizard!!! i think i painted this 2 years ago? <- put dates on your works guys it saves lives. her name is Mel (short for Melins (pronounced like melons. on account of her knockers. can you tell i never grew out of my 12 yr old booby/cock joke era?) i revisited Mel recently and have started painting her in earnest again!! :3

I briefly dated someone who was very into streetwear and fashion, and I fell down a techwear/gorpcore/cyberpunk rabbit hole for a couple days out of curiosity. i remember literally zero salient info on any of it except the broad strokes of silhouetting and Vibes. what i emerged with, however, was a ?? sorta OC?? im not sure what to call them. they dont rly have a name or gender. I did this little sheet ages ago + the aborted attempt at a portrait later:

Here are my most recent explorations (i have been doing SOOOO much art. <3) which include:

unfinished character sheet + chibi art. I played with their jacket (much more structured/square/tailored thing) and added a lotta random buckles and belts. i took textiles class years ago and have a little experience in garment construction. and i know for a fact this thing does not make any sense. it hurts me to look at a little bit LMAO so i've paused it while i go draft patterns (badly. i was never good at drafting. i think i may have to break out my scrap fabric stash and hand sew a real life mock-up. HELP!)

here is me having fun with them and imagining them as some kind of cyber-fisherman. the best part of every game is the fishing mini-game to me. i love fishing mini-games so much. I made their hair really big because i wanted them to have big unwieldy hair and the vibes told me i should add more movement to the piece aside from the fishing line. I messed with their jacket AGAIN because i can't stop thinking about what kinda jacket they'd wear. gorp-core ? idk. it sure is something!

gifts for my friends :3

back in my weeb era for real YAYYYY!!! up til now i'd been making hockey art using a zero pressure sensitivity pen brush because i simply did NOT want to deal with that. it is and has always been a barrier to me making art that uses line art. <3 easing my way back into it though!

I used to paint gifts for my friends and then get them printed into lil posters and mount them on nice backing :3 i am now ready and back to painting.

Here is my girlbestie's OC. just a rough pose sketch. i think im pretty unsatisfied with the gesture of the head/hand. i wanted to include her gun in some way. i fear i may have to rework the pose entirely <3

For the genshin girlies.. here are some of my friends fave characters.

Yelan - this one i started many holidays ago and put on the backburner because the colouring was wigging me out. you can see where i started rendering stuff + got sidetracked and started on something else (the crystal choker IM LAUGHING @ past me...)

Ayaka - I reaaally like what i did here with the perspective + foreshortening. I don't know if the pose or expression is in-character or not, but i had fun :3 got stunlocked looking at references of genshin weapons so this is where i left off:

if you made it all the way down here hi... <3 ice hockey really cracked the ketchup bottle open for me when it comes to making art again. i love the communities i've found, and i'm inspired by every artist on here every day. thanks for being so cool + have a great day :)

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Hi, it's Quill! For the fic writer asks, can you please answer 40, 56 and 65? 😘❤️

HELLO MY FRIEND THANK YOU 💛💛💛

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

Ooooooh, now THAT'S a toughie. And and all art of my fic would be recived with literal tears of joy, but let's narrow it down lmao. Discounting my horny ass just wanting aaaallll the art of my smutty side account fic (and tbh more horny art of the Cat King in general), I think it would be lovely to see art of Lonely Bones, considering how much time and feeling has gone into it and considering I think you could have a lot of fun with moody compositions. Somewhere Beyond the Sea is only on it's first chapter but especially from chapter two onwards it's gonna have so many fun and whimsical things/characters to draw! I'd also be an absolute GLUTTON for more of mine and L and H's 1920s poly boys as seen in Keep Me Warm, Love Me Long, Be My Sunlight, but that's a bit more niche!

If I had to pick one singular scene, I think I'd melt like butter if someone drew Charles in subspace getting therapeutically, nonsexually dommed by Edwin with silly cat's cradle games in ’Cause You Cut Through All the Noise. I'm so fond of that fic you have no idea.

56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

Character voices!! I need to rewatch DBDA again soon to refresh my memory lest I drift into made-up voices but generally speaking I think my dialogue characterisation is pretty fun and believable!

65. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

I am looking forward to each and every aspect of the 1920s AU I'm working on with @dear-monday and @tw0-ravens, but especially the Thomas dialogue/arc/letters. I'm also huuuugely looking forward to writing my Edge Chronicles AU, but mostly for the world, vibes and character backstories especially pertaining to Edwin -- I'm currently struggling a bit with finding the actual plot, though! I'm also SO excited for the rest of Somewhere Beyond the Sea, there's going to be so much fun and whimsy and fantasy and sweetness, I'm really excited for the bits I've added as well as the bits I'm adapting from the source material!

Get to know your fic writer!

(And because you asked me to talk about WIPs, here we go, a very short, rough snippet of the Edge Chronicles AU from my notes app -- flashback to Charles and Edwin's first meeting!)

It was freezing cold in the prowlgrin roost. Maybe not up in the nests and the roosting poles, where the big old beasts dozed by the light of the burning braziers, the lucky sods. But down in the straw and the muck the winter chill was biting, creeping through every crack in the ancient slats. Charles was huddling down pathetically, dragging the ratty old prowlgrin tarp tighter round his shoulders, when he heard a creak. Louder than the wind through the slats, slower. The door. He froze, holding his breath. The air had... changed. It was crackling with something, making Charles' hair stand on end. And then, footsteps.  Charles shrank back, tried to make himself small. But the shape that stepped into the roost wasn't any boy that he knew — anyone who might be looking to finish what they'd started. It was... strange. It was like looking at those old barkscroll woodcuts from way back; those odd, early academic knights with the leather armour, all tooled and riveted. Like something out of a fairytale. It looked at him, right at him, and pulled off its leather helmet and underneath was just… a boy. Not like any boy he'd seen, though. Pale, worryingly so, and gaunt, eyes the most piercing blue he'd ever seen; unearthly, iridescent. Like open, uncharted sky. "I was looking for the library," said the boy, softly, hoarsely, like he hadn't used his voice in a good long while. "It used to be here, did it not?" Charles frowned, for a moment too confused to be scared. Of all the things to be looking for! "Not anymore, mate. Moved it 'cuz of the rot, didn't they? That was what, thirty years back or summit." "Thirty years..." he hummed like a rumbling storm. "Right. If you might point me in the right direction — I have some very important reading to do.” Charles was starting to think the dunk in the lake had frozen his brain. "It's three in the morning,” he said, baffled. The boy knelt before him, and raised his hand. Charles watched, horrorstruck, as his long, slender fingers lost their shape and stretched, vaporous, into elongated strands of crystalline cirrus. "It is rather pressing," said the boy, deadpan.

And some of my tests of the art style so far 😊 this AU's gonna take me a WHILE with the illustrations as well as the writing lmao

[genericpuff]

no but listen, rachel has truly embodied herself as persephone because she's constantly trying to "distance herself" from her past as a medical fetish artist but then keeps the name that's affiliated with her medical fetish art-

Like, I can't believe I never noticed it before tbh, but that was the thought that hit me while I was explaining to someone on reddit what the name "used bandaid" meant and why it was weird that Rachel is STILL using it on her print cover books, even now when she just recently set up a new Facebook account with her REAL NAME and not the used_bandaid penname (I feel like this is an attempt to "legitimize" herself in the industry but idk).

But that leads me into talking about how she keeps lying about LO being her first webcomic project and that really pisses me off. And yes, this is related to the used_bandaid thing, just bear with me here.

A lot of my contempt for this is for reasons that go beyond her, I just hate the notion that people should succeed on their "first try" and that's an idea that's often sold by people like Rachel who spin these grandiose stories of how they were just "trying it out" and suddenly wham! Fame and fortune! You can achieve all this and more if you just xyz!

Literally, in every interview I've found over the past couple years, she always heavily implies that LO was her "first attempt", that she had never used Webtoons prior to LO, and that she was just "dipping her toes" into the medium. None of this is true, she's literally been drawing webcomics since the early 2000's (possibly earlier but the earliest documentation we can find is of The Doctor Pepper Show), LO wasn't even her first webcomic on the Webtoons platform (that goes to The Doctor Foxglove Show which she ended up dumping a chapter in to work on LO almost immediately after starting it on Tumblr) and as much as she'll claim she "couldn't pay anyone to look at her work", she had landed a number of gigs that got her work out there, had been printed in anthology collections, and IIRC she had even won some small local NZ awards for her comics prior to LO. Shit, there was a local beer brand that had her art on its labelling.

But it really feels like she's trying her damn hardest to hide all that, never mentioning or implying that she did anything prior to LO, that she was just a "struggling graphic artist working in retail" until LO happened.

So why keep the penname that's directly affiliated with that past identity ??

It boggles my mind, honestly, especially considering she had gone by MULTIPLE usernames back then, some of which were actually pretty sane that she could have used instead (such as Rach Alex, which she uses in her FB groups, and Rachel Royale).

I wouldn't blame her if she was trying to hide her old medical fetish stuff, whether she didn't want it affiliated with her new LO branding or if she's just embarrassed by it, I can totally empathize with that because god knows I wouldn't be all that proud to show off the cringy shit I got up to during my early days on the Internet. But if she IS embarrassed by it, you'd think the last thing she'd want to keep is the name that's directly affiliated with the thing she's embarrassed by. Almost like a certain pink protagonist who goes by the name she earned after doing the thing she doesn't want to talk about.

But if she ISN'T embarrassed by it, then why lie?

Why paint this picture that LO was a one hit wonder, that she lived on "struggle street" until she found fame and fortune on Webtoons?

Oh right. Because it's a better story.

Because it's way more romantic to be some struggling indie darling who "came from nothing" and achieved fame through one big idea. Because it looks good for the platform who's trying to attract people to their app and website on the promise that you, too, can be a success story simply because you followed the exact same perceived steps that you saw another person follow and advertise.

If you can't tell from my tone, I really fucking hate this kind of disingenuous wish fulfillment advertising. It's manipulative, it's cruel, and it sets people up with expectations far beyond their scope of reaching, both due to the luck and "being in the right place at the right time" involved at best (which is a HUGE factor in stories like these that people never talk about), or through joy-killing comparison at worst when you don't achieve worldwide fame on your first try and wonder why everyone else did (spoiler: they didn't, they just want you to think that because it makes for better headlines and it gets you using whatever product they're affiliated with.)

If Rachel doesn't want to be tied down to her past, that's fine. But it's incredibly irresponsible and flat out cruel to lie about that past existing at all because it sets a horrible precedent to those who look up to her and want what she has.

And I say all that because I've seen what happens to the people starting out who admire these creators who painted the picture that they were just successful right off the bat. It's not a fun headspace to be in, it's robbed many creators like myself and others of their joy in creating, and it's really all just a ploy to get you to spend time and money and energy on a stupid corporate phone app that profits off your emotional investment and labor. Don't fall for it. Pretending like the Act of Wrath didn't happen doesn't remove it from history.

Anyways, I was gonna leave it at that, but then I ended up doing another rabbithole deep dive through her Wayback Machine and found album art she had illustrated for NZ band PorcelainToy. Enjoy this piece of her "dark era" art that still exists without needing to use the Wayback Machine.

[catgirlxox]

I absolutely loved your video talking about Ben’s character in season 3 of alien force. I think Ben as a character gets a lot of shit flung at him for being immature, when he’s usually just acting like a sixteen year old boy. A pretty emotionally mature one compared to the boys I knew at sixteen.

Im wondering how you factor in Ben’s potential trauma into how you analyze his character. Ben basically becomes child police officer and Bens silliness really seems to be some kind of response to this pressure. I love the conversation the team has with ten year old Ben in the forge of creation. “Maybe that’s too much to have in your head when you have to win, maybe if you treat everything like a big joke. When the time comes I’ll be able to do what I have to do.”

The thing that stands out to me is that he describes it as “too much” that in some way this pressure does get to him even when he was ten. That pressure carries into AF, and he seems to get better at managing it or hiding his nerves as the series goes on.

I also thinks it’s interesting that in A New Dawn Ben says that he assumed the Omnitrix wouldn’t let him die. It seems to imply at some point to push past fear he’s had to tell himself he can’t die, or he thinks he couldn’t have survived this long without such a fail safe. I’m not sure the fail safe is even confirmed, but I could just be forgetful.

I think Ben’s bond with the Omnitrix is pretty heavily shaped by this, it’s the tool that allows him to overcome danger but also the thing that invites danger. There also the nightmare he has in one episoide about humungosaur being tiny, making him unable to fight off a threat. Not to get all psychoanalysisy, but that seems to be as a pretty direct relationship between Ben’s safety and the Omnitrix. Also part of why he takes it off sometime between 11-15 is due to losing Feedback, losing the security that the Omnitrix wil always get him out of a bad situation.

Apologies if the wall of text is daunting, I ended up having a lot of ideas. Basically, I’m curious how you view Ben’s trauma and how it shapes him as he grows up.

resisting the urge to say my new videos are going to be 100x better thank you and sorry this took a while <3

I would factor in a lot of the points you've brought up yourself tbh. I think his trauma and experience navigating his life as the wielder of the Omnitrix continuously shapes his character. I take this into account in every analysis because it’s like, the most influential reason he is the way he is. 

For example, like you said, he definitely had to grow up faster than normal kids. Part of being what is essentially a "child police officer" is his need to adapt to his circumstances quickly. Everyone depends on him and that ensures he’ll be able to "do what he has to do" (as stated in "The Forge of Creation"). 

“Managing the pressure” is really also a requirement for his job because if he couldn’t do that, he straight up couldn’t handle the job itself. Of course that would lead to some form of a coping mechanism or resolution to the problem. Ben is a great problem solver, great at improvising, and easily grasps new alien abilities sometimes in the middle of battle. Naturally, he would take on the necessary persona to deal with the pressure of his responsibilities.

Or, in other words, adapt. Whether that is taking on a “Max-like” leader persona in early Alien Force, or relaxing a little in the later Alien Force and being “more like himself” since Max came back into the picture.  

Hell, he even excelled at pretending to be evil in "Above and Beyond." He knows how to step into the role he needs to play so well of course he would use it as a crutch to get him through the worst battles. And considering his powers quite literally involve transforming into whatever form is best for the task at hand, it fits his character almost poetically. 

This method of managing the pressure definitely comes from his bond with the Omnitrix. This particular set of skills (improvising, adapting to his circumstances mentally and physically, being who he needs to be to do what he has to) is something he developed through his years of doing this job, and they become very integral to who he is as a character. 

[seraphymnchorus]

I am migrating to Tumblr because having a system instagram makes my enclosure feel like a fish living in a 1 gallon tank with pictures of plants instead of actual ones. We have Audhd, I can't be aesthetic all of the time, I need room to run, to grow, to share poetry, then shitpost the next. I feel that is the very nature of having various alters run an account.

So, without further ado

Welcome!! To!! Our!! Intro!! Post!!

We're 19 years old and a College freshman! We got a headcount of like, something idk and 3 main hosts! We're what you'd consider to be Fictive-Heavy, but tbh it doesn't really matter.

We really want to treat this blog as a sort of scrapbooking opportunity! Reblogging things we like, sharing our thoughts and what's going on. It may be boring, but shouting into the void and having the void (sometimes) shout back is ideal.

We'd love to make new oomfs or friends!! Our interests currently are all over the place but if you like these things then you're super awesome and should follow us!

Final Fantasy VII

Sonic

The Legend of Zelda

Supernatural

Honkai Star Rail

Ace Attorney

MXTX

And whatever else we reblog!!!

Thank you for reading this long intro post lovelies!! It's nice to meet you all!!

(Written by Twila)

[cruesuffix]

The way the band always like......now I don't wanna say aggressive but they aren't exactly gentle with Mick. Like even when Tommy hugged him in the video you reblogged the patting was really hard😭

In the dirt (movie) the part where they show micks surgery and Tommy(MGK) clapping Mick(Iwan) on the back he like curses to himself. Just really shows how hyper Tommy is, and I feel like they all are/aren't the most careful with him😭

ok first of all, im so glad you’ve noticed this too!! second off, i don’t want to sound like a debbie downer at all, cause i know everyone cherishes the idea of the crue being so sweet and kind to mick (preferably in the later years of the band), but i genuinely don’t think that was the case at all.

matter of fact, the band always knew mick was in pain. point blank period everyone in the band has talked in length about how they knew mick had back pain throughout their career. of course, they only knew the cause once the dirt came out, but the point is: they always knew. now, i would take into account how rough they’ve always been towards each other, and of course they probably never realized how serious it was but… mick himself has said they used to slap him on the back and force him to stand up straighter. that has to be the most hurtful thing a person can do to someone with AS. yes, they didn’t know it was that bad, but they knew he was in pain. any person with a brain would figure smacking a man with back pain on the damn back would do some damage! let’s not forget how badly nikki treated mick during the girls tour, going as far as to throw shit at him just cause he “broke a rule” (that nikki had broken way before him, and continued to break afterwards). he knew what mick was going through and made his life even worse, to the point where mick considered leaving the band. it wasn’t like they stopped annoying him after they found out either, they continued their behaviour because they thought it was funny. if they didn’t already call him the old man back in the day, they fully treated him like a cynical grumpy old man the older they got.

like i get it, in a perfect world they wouldn’t have mistreated him in the first place, but they did and i don’t think we should erase that fact just cause they pretended to care about him during red, white, and Crüe and beyond. i know this was supposed to be light hearted but i guess i haven’t been in a beautiful mood these days. like not to be woke but… those guys were a bit aggressive towards mick and like as cute as that vid was, it’s no surprise mick thought tommy was serious when he said he was going to kill him. - that’s probably why that part of the dirt kinda makes sense to me even though in reality the Crüe never visited him at the hospital, nor were they there when he was discharged. because at the end of the day, tommy doesn’t really have the insight to realize he shouldn’t be so rough with mick, especially in that moment. he doesn’t think he’s that bad still and continues engaging with him like he’s always had.

god, just looking back i can name even more instances of the crue physically assaulting the man…baby don’t worry you can say aggressive… i mean nikki pulled a clump of hair out of micks scalp, i promise you can say aggressive (i’d go as far as to say abusive but once again im being too woke and im in a shitty mood!).

ok… this has been a bit scathing huh, and no one’s going to like this opinion at all but.. yeah. they weren’t gentle with him at all, and with everything i know about the Crüe, it was likely cause they didn’t care to be gentle. i guess that’s why i like fics about this band that don’t portray them as evil monsters that hate each other… cause fiction is quite literally better than the reality of all this. i’m sorry this was so negative, im in a terribly negative mindset right now and probably will be for a while but… i still agree with my opinion tbh. OK IM SORRY FOR YAPPING THIS MUCH I KNOW IM TAKING THIS TOO SERIOUSLY AND I PROMISE I’LL STOP THAT SOON. STILL, THANKS FOR THIS ONE CAUSE IT GIVES ME A CHANCE TO JUST LET OUT WHAT I’VE BEEN WANTING TO SAY FOR SO LONG ACTUALLY <3333

[feronaville]

im deep down on megamassikalove's blog cc shopping n saw her participate in an ask game thingie n i wanna do it too even tho its like a year old LMAOO bc it looks fun n i rarely see them on my dash!

1. What’s your favourite sims death? old age ,, boring answer but i love my sims man they my babies fr any other death genuinely upsets me

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match? maxis match altho i do sorta uhh maxis mix i think it's called sometimes, really i download whatever i like (mostly maxis match) i just want everything in simlish fr

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? i like when my sims gain weight bc that's how i get my body diversity but if their outfit doesnt have fat morph n i dont wanna change their outfit i do cheat it sometimessss but not very often

4. Do you use move objects? move objects is enabled in my game alwayss

5. Favorite mod? honestly im not sure! im def a big acr fan but that's just the first one that comes to mind, there's soooo many must haves imo!

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? both sims 2 pets n sims 2 seasons! my auntie bought them for us, i got soooo excited about pets n lil ol me asked her, "woah can we get monkeys??" LMAOO

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? i pronounce it like aLIVE

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? REESE BULLARD!! he was in my very first bacc years ago, he had more personality than any of my other sims ever had he was so silly

9. Have you made a simself? i have! i made one in sims 2 back in like 2018 but she didnt look like me fr haha, i made one some years ago in sims 4 n she actually looked a lotttt like me but i have lost all her pics unfortunately. now i just have a sim in one of my current 'hoods that's named after me

10. What sim traits do you give yourself? dang if only i knew myself better fr ,, hmmmm ima say animal lover, loves the outdoors, artistic, childish, socially awkward. maybe

Which is your favorite EA hair color? hmm i don't think i have one? i'll just say red

Favorite EA hair? i don't see ea hair in my game fr anymore but as a kid i think my favorite one was meg i think

Favorite life stage? im not sure honestly! i might have to go with child, or adult idk tbh

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? i only started getting into building fr last year i think, building is a struggle for me but i really enjoy it! i think i'm def more of a gameplay person tho i just feel pretty restricted building for sims 2

Are you a CC creator? i am! pretty much just recolor things but i wanna try my hand at making terrains to share, and i'm slowly starting to upload lots n want to upload sims as well. i've made splash music and loading screens too, kinda wanna get back into doing that actually

Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? i consider @gir-sims to be my friend! yall should check out her bacc, its both on youtube n dreamwidth!

What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4) the sims 2 is my favorite game in the world, been playing since i was like four/five!

Do you have any sims merch? i have a social bunny sweatshirt that i adore! i tried to google for it but it seems the shop is closed now, i got it from etsy by littleplumbobdesigns. i found this shirt it's the same design, except what i have is a pink sweatshirt with a pink social bunny!

Do you have a YouTube for sims? i do! i currently just have my port taylor bacc series on it, it's linked on my blog :^)

How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? i spent the first manyyyy years of simming without cc ,, idk how i did it man. i used to use alpha cc for sims 4 then i ended up switching to mostly maxis match! for sims 2 i switched hair systems twice (started with new hair system, then simgaroop, now it's mostly poppet v2). i can recall switching eye defaults too. that's all i can think of

What’s your Origin ID? i think it's behindthesea00 (my mom made me the account to buy me sims 4 for christmas) BUT i share that account with my younger sister. i dont think she plays sims anymore so idk if she still gets on it, i dont either tbh i dont need origin/ea play/whatever to play my game anymore YAY

Who’s your favorite CC creator? oh gosh there are soooo many!!

How long have you had a simblr? hmmmm i think i've had this one for 3-4 years? but it's been longer than that bc i have a sims 4 simblr that i completely abandoned as i no longer play sims 4, i havent played it since right before infants came out

How do you edit your pictures? for gameplay pics i just cropped them for the most part, occasionally adding a silly lil detail to it. i add woohoo heart to censor nudity when needed. for cc i honestly seem to just do whatever i feel like doing, lately i think i just take the pic, crop it, n add text to it

What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? i only play sims 2 so no more packs for me! other than cc packs that our lovely community makes!

What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? for sims 2 hmmmm im honestly not sure, ahh this is a hard one! sims 2 has such great packs idk if i can choose! hmmmm def pets for sure n i really love open for business too

[chaseprice]

hi!! hope i’m not a bother. i just came across u and i wanted to ask something,,,

basically, i joined the life is strange fandom in 2018 so i never got to experience the pre-bts era, meaning i didn’t get to experience what rachel was like to the fandom back then or see the different interpretations of her.

i did some digging and i found some fan content of her from 2015-2016 & i’m absolutely infatuated with all aspects of the fanon version of her, especially her personality & how she looked. i totally wanna embody her. also the love is strange vn was so interesting to play, i love how she was written. i’d love to know more!

i stumbled across ur blog while i was doing my digging and i saw an old long post of urs saying how bts didn’t live up to the fandoms expectations, as almost everyone perceived her differently.

sorry for all the yapping LOL but what i basically wanna ask is,,, how *exactly* did the fandom perceive rachel back then (2015-2016). what were some popular headcanons for her? things you guys even considered to be canon? what were some of your own *personal* headcanons? (can be silly, realistic,,, just anything you thought resonated with her)

do you have any favorite arts from that time period that you thought really captured her? what were your hopes for the prequel/rachels character before it was released? what did you want to see in terms of story? was rachel’s style, appearance, & personality extremely different than what you expected? what did you expect?

i assume that rachels treatment in the fandom was different then than what it is now. whether it’s better or worse, i’m not sure. i was hoping u could answer that too😞. recently i’ve just been seeing constant hatred or lack of care for her character so i’m starting to think that if bts was written differently and based on the fandom’s interpretations instead, the hate now wouldn’t be this bad.

from my digging it seems like you guys had alot of fun sculpting rachel’s character on your own, and the interpretations were probably more realistic than what decknine put together.

anyway i’m sorry for the yapping essay on this random saturday, most old lis accounts are dead & i didn’t know who else to ask☹️. just trying to relive what you guys experienced the best i can. hope i’m not bombarding you with this. thank you so much if u respond !!

hiii u def did not bother me, i am not in a position to answer all of these questions, but although it makes me feel ancient, it's cute to see so much passion for rachel and pre-BTS fandom opinion, so i'll try answer some and for the rest (art, hcs, etc.) im just gonna have to direct you to my archive* (will continue under the readmore)

*(tumblr archive is so broken on mobile so you gotta go on pc for this, but also there's so many gifs from that time so it will Definitely slow down your browser). i was insane and 17 years old so like, just excuse all of the cringe content i guess. you can click tag and filter it by either #lis #rachel amber #amberprice or whatever to try and find stuff like art. and i got into lis sept 2015 so that's like, as far back as it will go, but i was fully lisbrained from 2016 through 2018)

to be honest, in alignment with pre-bts thought lmao, rachel is whoever you want her to be. there was less of 'this is a correct objective fact about her personality/history' and more 'yeah, this is an idea the fandom really likes and has become fanon, most likely because it is a nuanced and entertaining and realistic interpretation of what we have seen of her character in lis1' which means people whose opinions conflicted with that might've be contested/laughed at/unpopular, but they weren't wrong per se. there were plenty of people i'd criticise (and ridicule) back then for implying that this teenage girl was evil, and being a teenager myself back then, i'd call them morally reprehensible and cancellable and whatever, but tbh, as an adult now, i can just see that it was simply a boring interpretation of her character informed by misogyny

i'd disagree with the notion that fandom treatment of rachel's character was better before bts, back then there were plenty of people seemingly excited to characterise her as emotionally manipulative, a cheater, deserved what she got, etc. as well, bc tbh, the story did leave room for that interpretation, but it left room for so much more as well. i feel like bts just really locked in on a certain story they wanted to tell plot-wise, and didn't choose to explore a lot of the questions fans had about rachel as a person. it's hard to turn the ambiguity of a friendship turned situationship over a period of 4 years into a playable experience for an audience - so they didn't. regardless, it got people thinking about rachel more, putting a spotlight on her, hence increased attention both positive and negative. i feel like there's just a fundamental difference between what lis1 fans enjoyed about the potential for her character and how she related with chloe and the world around her, and what deck9 wanted to portray in bts (yes they hit the astrological headcanons, the charmingness, her rebellion, the emotional conflicts... but it personally felt hollow, contrived sometimes, i suppose). but there were a lot of people who loved bts (i enjoyed a lot of parts of it!). just, in my opinion, some of those were quite different people from who loved lis1, and with that wave it brought a lot of emotional immaturity to the fandom (like... ship wars, really? that was an insane change to fandom dynamics for me lmao, but maybe i was just spoiled by surrounding myself with people whose takes i respected)

anyway i highly recommend also that if you're hungry for that kind of content, read fanfiction on AO3 by the old fans - by Mogatrat (TON of rachel centric ones there), explosionshark and tippytypewriter, chicknparm (though Cusp is written post-bts, it's informed by pre-bts characterisations), vicepoint (me hehe), def many more good ones out there those r jus my friends so they come to mind first, e.g. i liked homecoming by kriegersan back in the day, but you could def find some more by sorting the lis ao3 page by kudos and reading the older ones that are highly rated featuring rachel. and lastly, my gf wrote a beautifully worded blog post called "The Assassination of Rachel Amber by the Cowards Dontnod and Deck Nine" which gets into some of this from a media crit perspective (not about fandom) in a very eloquent way thru comparison w twin peaks and i highly recommend that

rachel hcs that def started way before bts: skater rachel, stoner rachel, punk music listener rachel (but also like, fleetwood mac cranberries cocteau twins grungy hippy stuff rachel too), rachel's parents being distant and still living in california, curvy thick rachel, things that i've accepted as canon but were def created by diff people: bri explosionshark hc'd that rachel paid for chloe's sleeve, mogatrat (i think) hc'd that rachel initially went to get her nips pierced with chloe (that's a longtime fan hc now idk who started that one) but chickened out at the last minute, i think she also hc'd that chloe made the earring for rachel which is cute too

[bettertwin1]

Hi, old follower here from before you had 100 followers. I've got a semi serious question for you.

When I first followed you, I got the impression that you were a RP blog, in the case where you would RP with your "brother" (bettertwin9000), so I followed the rules as such. But later on it seems that this blog is your persona? In terms of everything said to this blog is a personal question to you? It's a weird situation where people asking those intrusive questions make sense for a RP blog, but in a normal blog situation it makes it intrusive.

Tldr, I think many are confused if this is an RP blog or you having Leo as your persona, so can you confirm what this blog actually is?

OMG HI LONG TIME FOLLOWER!!

And, for the sake of things making a little bit of sense, as much as sense as we can manage, keep in mind that we have OSDD, we're a system-

PUTTING IT UNDER CUT CAUSE IT'S LONG 😅

At the start of the blog <- in which we were advertising it as a roleplay blog, it was being run by our host and partially by me though I had no clue what I was doing at the time and bettertwin9000 was being run by our partner <- (which btw, made for some strange asks)

We continued advertising it as a roleplay even when we began suspecting and having full breakdowns over the idea of being a system due to some little things and some big things and lots of research and therapy and blah blah BUT we kept going back on it cause tbh DID is a hard thing to accept and we didn't want it <- still don't

SO now I was trying to run the blog more all the while trying to keep us grounded, IGNORING the possibility of DID and thinking, nah, this is just a really bad cause of delusions and we NEED to get reality checked NOW.

But I ALREADY KNEW i'm not REALLY Leo from rottmnt, but I am him, I was formed from that guy, created? Idk. He made me in his own image type reference audio. WOW IM NOT EXPLAINING ANYTHING 😭😭 did I mention we have a tendency to overexplain <- but specifically for me in the case of explaining things that are hard to explain, ANYWHIZZLE.

We kept going back and forth, confirming and denying the conclusion "we have osdd" cause that's terrifying and while this was happening I was still trying to force us to post and interact and involve ourself in arcs for the sake of distraction from EVERYTHING happening irl and the blog kind of made it worse but in a light hearted way cause suddenly the asks became really gross, and I felt really gross.

Sure, maybe someone who was roleplaying Leonardo would have no trouble answering asks about dead relatives or near death experiences or villains that have physically harmed you and your 'siblings' or about my crippling inability to speak about feelings and whatever else people diagnosed me with on here but I was having trouble answering it, I was getting uncomfortable and I was feeling genuinely overwhelmed because everything that definitely would be great material for a roleplay account was making me just feel, bad. <- which wasn't great considering at the time, feeling bad was not something i could have been affording to do

SO at some point, I started putting boundaries, didn't explain why, just continued under the guise of hey, roleplay guy here, the intruvsive invasive asks about my family and my mental health and my anatomy is making me want to die so please stop andbonly ask fun stuff like idk, if i put salt in donnie's coffee sometimes and everyone was like, yes leonardo in unison.

Then I slowly started getting more adamant on pushing the narrative that I am LITERALLY Leo from the show cause pushing that seemed to really help with the questions, and then the roleplay blog became more like. A personal blog for some dude who happened to be a ninja turtle alter and it'd unfortunately gotten so out of hand that explaining this now kind of made us even more exhausted cause oh man, we might get fake claimed huh <- we had worse things to deal with, internet drama didn't need to be added to this.

Anyway, if you read through all that junk, i'm sorry 😭, but i think it helps explain why the impression of the blog is so confusing cause it was being run by two ppl, a host and an alter who were constantly trying NOT to be those things until pretty recently when we started accepting the fact that we have Osdd

SO TIMELINE.

The blog starts off as an rp blog by our host and I unbeknownst to us both

The blog is fun and we start gaining traction

We also start gaining more mental health problems and have a full breakdown multiple times on many different social medias

We push through to cope

We talk to the other blog runners who are systems <- (Mikey, Raph and at the time when their account was apart of this, April) and they kindly answer and guide us through some things

We start adding boundaries for my sake

We talk to other systems on other social media and they help us with more stuff

We talk to our therapist

We do a ton of research on top of old research we'd apparently already done before <- suddenly we have a long document with so much information

We tell no one about the discovery when we start accepting the possibility

More funny stuff ensue and personal life things happen <- #ONLYTHEREALONESKNOW!

The only announcement I ever make that i'm an alter are one off comments in tags or answers that I never address again until I make an intro post that says I'm an alter in a system

The blog is what now?

The blog is still a roleplay account. Sometimes, canceled arcs that we would have done would have been considered roleplay <- a canceled christmas arc. But usually, this is just a blog. Like, this is just a blog I use to entertain people and to get some of my thoughts out like a singlet would. It's both i guess, it's whatever I want it to be and whatever you guys consider it to be.

The blog is just, my blog, I don't know how else to explain it 😅😅

Also, Bettertwin9000 was pretty much going through the same thing at the time and fun fact, he is actually my "brother" cause he's a Donnie alter <- (yay!)

Shoutout to the host who has their own blogs that they never really post on! couldn't have done it without you! <- and the many kind individuals who gave us their research material and links and answered our questions and stuck w/ us through the most confusing part of OUR LIFE

Srry again if this didn't answer your question like at all by the way, i THINK it at least explained some things but you know 😭 SORRY IDK

[soongyeopsal]

Ad Nauseam

Summary: Wonwoo desires to herald in a new age of technology, but summons a monstrous deity instead.

▸ Pairing: Wonwoo x gn!oc (but it doesn’t really matter tbh)

▸ Rating / Genre / AU: 18+ / horror, angst / 1900s au If you are a minor AND/OR if your account has no age in the bio, you will be blocked upon interacting (liking/reblogging) with this post.

▸ Warnings: violence (adults + children), light gore (not graphic, but descriptions related to meat processing), major character death

▸ Word Count: 3.6k

▸ A/N: This was inspired by Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs. It may not be the most popular entry, but it's the one that stuck with me the most so far in the series. I wrote the original version of this literally years ago, but did a slight rewrite so I could put it back out there. GIGANTIC thank yous to @onlymingyus and @wonwussy for beta reading and helping me clean the draft up after my eyes totally glazed over!! I apologize in advance for anyone that may be upset by this story. Know that some members' ages have been flipped and it's going to be rough for everybody involved. You've been warned. ︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Mid November, 1899

“The industry is changing you,” Minghao says, standing as he stacks a pile of papers and files them into a folder.

Wonwoo smiles tiredly and looks up at Minghao from the other side of the desk, where he sits. “That’s alright as long as we change the future.”

Late February, 1900

“No, Wonwoo, this is you,” Teddy spits, wringing their hands on their slacks. 

The room smells like copper, and young Seungkwan weeps in the corner while even younger Chan sits next to him, stone face turned to the floor and bandaged hands balled.

Teddy and Wonwoo had lost plenty of people in the making, in the maintenance of The Machine. They’d both known the risks beforehand, and Teddy had reservations about bringing in children, but they needed the cheap labor, and Wonwoo had promised they’d never lose their children. Their boys. The only children the orphanage would let two odd industrialists near because it was considered a victory to just be rid of the adolescents by the time they’d become old enough to bully and fight. 

“He…” Wonwoo can’t meet Teddy’s eyes. He fixes his gaze on the window behind his partner instead. “Hansol wasn’t ours or mine.” Hansol was simply the boy that would not go home, that chose to sleep in alcoves among the machinery. Wonwoo can barely swallow his sentence, and the saliva that gathers in his mouth tastes like soot.

Seungkwan wails so loudly that for once, Wonwoo can’t hear the drone of engines in the back of his mind. He hates it.

Teddy moves to pick their children up from the floor, motions too smooth and slow. They don’t speak until the boys are in their coats, bundled up for the winter cold with oversized scarves and mittens. 

“The factory isn’t anyone’s either. It owns you. It’s changed you.”

Wonwoo knows his lover is right. He’s known for years, long before anyone had ever told him.

Mid August, 1899

The first time had been an accident. Wonwoo is certain that all the children had collected their payment and gone home for the evening. Teddy has a strict 7pm rule to ensure that they would not be wandering about at night and causing trouble. 

Wonwoo is certain.

The Machine is deafening. Over 13,000 pieces of nearly autonomous metal spanning throughout 8 floors of basement work to process meat for the masses. 

Wonwoo is absolutely positive that the children under their employ have retired for the evening, so, like clockwork, he cranks the furnace’s dial up and pulls the lever that opens the floodgates to clean the blood and marrow from the massive pipes of The Machine.

Hansol approaches him the next day in his office, smelling of oil and sweat. “Sir, may I have the day off?”

Wonwoo places his reservoir pen on the desk and stands to stretch. “What’s the matter, Hansol?”

“I couldn’t sleep last night,” the boy explains. 

“It’s amazing you sleep any night, laying about in the factory.”

Hansol is the type to grin awkwardly and offer a weak excuse, but today he can only shift uncomfortably. “I don’t know; it just sounded like someone kept screaming.”

At this, Wonwoo frowns. Despite having a home life that drives him to remain within the bowels of machinery, Hansol is a rather easygoing child. He definitely isn’t one for night terrors or hallucinations. Perhaps he’d snuck into Chan and Seungkwan’s room to exchange ghost stories again.

Nonetheless, Hansol looks haggard, and his odor is starting Wonwoo on one of his many migraines. “It’s been...three? Four days by now? Go upstairs and bathe - do not talk back to me. Wash yourself and stay out of trouble today.”

That evening, Wonwoo reminds his children that their bedtime is not optional and that while Hansol may not carry their last name, he’s treated as if he does. When they’re tucked in, Teddy stops Wonwoo in the hallway to tell him that four of the boys who worked for them hadn’t shown up for work that day or returned to their families the evening before.

They are never found. Hansol does not complain about nightmares for months.

Wonwoo can hear cogs whining in the section where skeletal remains are crushed. Among the scraps are bones too big to be pigs', slowing down the humming that had become his lullaby some time ago.

Early October, 1899

Teddy does not care much for the engineer Wonwoo hired to oversee the construction of a new grinder. He is too well spoken, too charming, too close to Teddy’s most prized treasure. But Minghao is smarter and has smaller hands that can move nimbly between the complicated maze of wire and metal when The Machine aches.

Wonwoo had been unable to soothe The Machine when it cried for weeks. Nothing he did made it stop, and Teddy said he was hearing things. When Wonwoo reached out to old acquaintances for useful contacts, they referred him to a brilliant mind from China that had been to Britain to have a firsthand look at how humanity could marry machinery to ease everyday production.

The rumors about Minghao are more than true. Wonwoo wonders if the man can hear the pleas of The Machine as loudly as he does, if he can hear it singing to him in his sleep.

Hansol only hears pained howling. Like clockwork every other night.

Wonwoo gives him tea and sends him off to bathe. It doesn’t take long for him to notice that the nights Hansol loses sleep are the nights The Machine doesn’t make a sound.

It doesn’t take long for Minghao to notice, either.

Early December, 1899

Minghao breaches the subject when he’s accompanying Wonwoo on his rounds of the bottom four floors. 

“Mr. Jeon, have you thought about other methods to power the factory?”

Wonwoo looks up from his clipboard. “Is what we have not sufficient?” Of course it isn’t. Every time a child went missing, Teddy would pace about their bedroom and fuss. After twelve disappearances, they insisted that the two of them switch their patrols: Teddy would oversee The Machine’s top floors, where most of the children worked, while Wonwoo oversaw the bottom. It didn’t placate Teddy’s worries by any means, but it was the best compromise that Wonwoo would concede to. At least they could finally do a proper attendance count. 

Minghao presses on, apparently unswayed by a polite demeanor and easy posture. “I’m sure your profits are plenty by now, but if this factory were to switch completely to steam power--”

“I’m not so greedy as to put youth out of work. I… My family is doing fine. Everyone is fine. We don’t need more money.” Wonwoo pushes thick spectacles further up the bridge of his nose. The Machine is sniffling next to his eardrums.

Minghao can see a vein on Wonwoo’s forehead. His default, calm expression is falling into exhaustion. “This town looks like it could use plenty of farmhands. I’m sure kids’d make better use of crops than a few nickels.” 

Wonwoo has to tell himself not to yell over The Machine. It’s gotten unbearably louder in seconds. Perhaps Minghao cannot hear it after all. “The people need this factory, Minghao.”

“No, it’s the factory that needs the people.” 

The Machine screeches, and Wonwoo panics. Weren’t the grinders supposed to be floors above them? He doesn’t have time to question it or what’s making him rush the shorter man, not with his ears ringing from the agony of noise. 

Wonwoo lets go of Minghao’s jacket just inches before his fingers touch the blades. He hopes Hansol doesn’t seek him out tomorrow, talking about shrieking. He’ll have enough to deal with trying to convince Teddy that the blood on his shirt is his own.

Teddy does not care much for Minghao, but they’re unsettled when they ask about the man’s whereabouts and Wonwoo shrugs absently. 

“He had to leave suddenly.”

January 3, 1900

The Machine has stopped screeching in Wonwoo’s ears since it was last fed. Knowledge, it wanted. Blueprints. 

Hansol falls asleep alone and wakes beneath pistons to the stench of foul water. 

Wonwoo allows Seungkwan to shadow him as he goes about tending to The Machine. Chan hasn’t much interest in going, preferring to follow Teddy on expeditions into town to procure more laborers.

Seungkwan asks many questions. “What does this machine do?”

“Didn’t so-and-so work on this floor once?”

“How do you turn this on?”

Wonwoo doesn’t notice the absence of small footsteps until The Machine sighs. When he turns around to address his son, no one is there. A door is shut behind him. He squints at Minghao’s copy of The Machine’s map. They should have been just beyond the grinders. What door is this?

Wonwoo sweats before he even breaks out into a run.

In his rush to find Seungkwan, Wonwoo nearly trips over the guardrails that separate him from an abysmal plunge into machinery. When he returns upstairs sobbing, Teddy is speechless only long enough to figure out the intercom console and plead for their son not to wander aimlessly but to follow the pipes up and out.

Teddy doesn’t talk to Wonwoo. Wonwoo does not eat. Four agonizing days pass before Seungkwan wanders into the study, covered with the same filth Hansol often wears. Teddy holds him tightly, and Wonwoo is frozen, having seen a peculiar flash in Seungkwan’s eyes that only the sickly dim lights in The Machine’s sewers can match.

Late January, 1900

Seungkwan has lost weight since the incident, but doctors can’t find any illness. He looks tired, more so than his overworked parents. He is on indefinite bedrest, and Hansol visits daily.

The young squatter is already there one evening when Wonwoo enters the children's room with snacks from the local bakery. “Ah, Hansol.”

Hansol rises and greets Wonwoo, but all that Wonwoo hears is The Machine. Spare them the world you have created, it says.

“Mr. Jeon?” Hansol looks worried. “Are you alright?”

Wonwoo blinks and remembers to breathe. “Yes, I’m-” The Machine is grumbling, “I’m alright.” He sets the bag of pastries on Seungkwan’s bedside table and kisses the child’s forehead, making a point not to brush Hansol, who is but a foot away. “Don’t forget your manners because you’re sick, Kwan. Share.”

“Of course, Father,” Seungkwan says as the man withdraws.

Wonwoo tries not to flinch. Spare them.

January 16, 1900

Teddy questions Wonwoo for days.

“Why won’t you look at Seungkwan? You’re hurting him.”

“What’s the matter?”

“Do you want to move?”

“Please tell me what’s wrong.”

“You won’t even look at me now?”

“What happened to us? To this family?”

Wonwoo can only hunch over and look away. The Machine speaks through nearly everyone to him. When others talk, they’re far away, while The Machine whispers on top of his eardrums. Chan is the only one he can hear without distraction.

Seungkwan’s voice pleads for the freedom of the masses. Teddy’s warns of disasters humanity will bring. Hansol’s is the worst of all. It bullies him, instructs him, twists his dreams into monstrous things, and in the same breath reminds him it is necessary. It is what they both want.

For weeks, Wonwoo has seen Hansol standing at the edge of catwalks. He’s seen the juvenile’s eyes among the bones of pigs and sacrifice. His young, growing arms help him swim through a sea that Hansol’s ghost says is made of the blood of swine. Some nights he dreams of Hansol’s hands pushing small bodies over railings and burying fractured skulls in the woods on the edge of town.

He does not see the boy, only the apparition of an atrocity.

January 30, 1900

When Wonwoo wakes on the study’s daybed, he nearly screams when he is faced with an apathetic Chan. The boy is kneeling next to the bed in his pajamas. It must be some time in the early hours of the morning.

“You’re loud, Father,” Chan says.

Wonwoo swallows and looks around the room. He does not see Hansol or hear anything speaking over his son. The usual, low hum of The Machine is nothing. “What?” is all the man can manage. 

“You and Hansol,” Chan clarifies. “You speak through your night terrors. Loudly. I can hear you upstairs.”

“What? I… How?”

Chan rolls his eyes. Teddy has been aggravated by this recent addition to Chan’s repertoire of poor manners, but Wonwoo welcomes the humanity of it. “Father, with my ears. I use them to hear.” He scowls. “Even when I’m trying to sleep.”

“I’m sorry, son,” Wonwoo laughs, ruffling the boy’s hair for the first time in years. “Go back to bed.”

“What about Hansol?”

At this, Wonwoo’s heart beats twice in a second. In his tiredness, he’d overlooked part of Chan’s complaint. Or perhaps it was selective hearing. Perhaps he hears only what The Machine wills him to.

“Where does Hansol sleep?”

If Chan picks up on Wonwoo’s panic, he does not show it. “With me or Kwannie, of course. Every night since December. He said the factory isn’t comfortable anymore - whatever that means. How can he sleep with all the racket in there?”

Wonwoo hears Hansol, hears The Machine. He does not sleep.

February 6, 1900

Wonwoo wishes The Machine would go back to simply calling to him so he could baby it. Now it’s grown and learned to speak more than he can handle. It’s maddening.

“Go upstairs and rest your nerves,” Teddy instructs him. “I’ll check everything tonight.”

The Machine chuckles and cries simultaneously. “N-No. I’ve got it. Let’s patrol like normal.”

Teddy doesn’t miss the recoil in Wonwoo’s shoulders. “Don’t worry, we can...work something out. You can even stay in the bedroom tonight, ok? Just go.”

Hansol and The Machine call Wonwoo from the bowels. “I can’t leave you here,” Wonwoo insists. I will change the walls, It/He warns. We will rewrite this place and then the streets.

“Wonwoo.” Teddy places hands on their love’s shoulders, desperation seeping through their fingertips. “Please.”

It is too late. I live. “No!” Wonwoo snaps. 

Teddy lets their hands fall and looks Wonwoo over. “Your mind is fevered.” Wonwoo has retreated within himself as always and won’t answer. He can’t. “Fine. Check your precious machine.”

I am this city. I am– He/It starts. Wonwoo can feel Teddy’s warmth leaving and quickly grabs at the tail of their jacket. “No, Teddy, I’m sorry. I don’t want to fight, really.” I will fix the world with or without you. Make the right choice. “Let me run a bath for when you’ve finished...”

Ignore me all you want, but you cannot ignore what’s coming. Teddy turns and grins, pleased. There’s an ember of hope for their love left within them that Wonwoo feared had long since disappeared. Even if Teddy’s voice is barely there, their perseverance is enough.

You did this. 

February 16, 1900

Listen to your heart. I am your heart. You know you are with me. You created me to save this world. I am your friend.

February 22, 1900

Can’t you see it? We must save this world with blood now to avoid a far greater slaughter in the future.

February 25, 1900

Round up the orphans, and the world will thank you for it. You started this. We can finish it together.

February 28, 1900

Wonwoo awakes to the shrill cries of a pig.

Teddy’s arm is slung around his waist, and they snore lazily, undisturbed. 

The Machine hyperventilates all around him, and the pig squeals pound on him like gunfire. Kill him!

Wonwoo jumps from his bed, knocked from his daze, and barely pulls on a robe as he flees to the basement. The door has changed from wood to steel, but when he rams his body against it, it opens all the same. You are too late! 

Down. Even with The Machine’s innards changing around him, Wonwoo knows to go down. The noise gets impossibly louder, and the mocking does not cease as he descends, but fear propels him. 

Let me save them.

“Don’t kill him! Please!” Wonwoo has to stop and grab his chest. It’s tight and on fire. The pig sounds a lot like Seungkwan now. The Machine sounds like the self-made orphan, yet it feels to Wonwoo as if the voices have been one and the same from the beginning of his nightmare.

He blinks and he is on a single catwalk above the tenderizers. A sea of bodies are crushed beneath them and the bones don’t stop breaking. The crackling sounds like fireworks. Hansol is trying to push a struggling Seungkwan over the railing.

Wonwoo is frozen.

“I will set them free,” The Machine/Hansol says. His/Its voice is clawing at Wonwoo’s insides. “This is what you planned.”

“I never wanted this.” Wonwoo’s throat makes him feel tiny. His eyes water, and his legs want to buckle. All he can see is bodies.

“You wanted to change the future,” Hansol/The Machine reminds him smugly. “It is dirty. You’re all dirty.” It grabs Seungkwan by the neck to still him. “We have to start over. I can purify you all.”

Wonwoo hears war rattling in his skull and feels his body being painted with mustard gas. He wants to vomit, but when he opens his mouth, all he tastes is fetid flesh and maggots on the back of his tongue.

“This is your sacrifice, Wonwoo. I’m just the shepherd to lead you and your world to salvation.”

Seungkwan barely breaks free, wriggling from beneath Hansol’s body, and stumbles toward his father. Finally, Wonwoo can move and reaches with outstretched arms to hug the boy.

But Seungkwan, frightened by something Wonwoo can’t see, stops short of his father’s fingertips. Hansol takes the opportunity to grab the child by the wrist and slam him into the railing. A crunch louder than the tenderizer below rings out alongside Seungkwan’s pained yowl.

“You are misguided, Wonwoo!” The Machine/Hansol exclaims as It pulls Seungkwan back and hurls him into the railing once again, this time face-first. His body slumps in Its arms. Wonwoo hollers, but the sound is lost among the racket. 

“I am no more evil than you! I am you! Of all the blood we’ve spilt together, the first drops were from your hands alone. But when you steeped me in blood, I understood what you wanted. You want what the world needs. You birthed me to help. But to start the world anew, we must first cleanse it of all the filth.”

Hansol shakily hoists Seungkwan up by his chest and manages the unconscious boy halfway over the edge of the catwalk. “This is the vision we shared. We need to make them free.” 

Hansol pushes a final time, and The Machine grunts. Wonwoo scrambles on his hands and knees to close the distance just fast enough to catch a still-limp Seungkwan by his calves, dangling him precariously above peril.

The Machine laughs, and Hansol kicks Wonwoo. Hansol, on his own, is weak. He seems to have become weaker since the man last laid eyes on him. Wonwoo is able to pull Seungkwan up and lay him gently on the ground, ignoring the feather punches to his side and the grating in his mind. 

Hansol/The Machine huffs,, and steam engulfs the area below them. The pulverizers turn into grinders, and the air reeks of salt and congealed blood. Chan’s voice pierces Wonwoo’s consciousness, and he can feel steam burning his son’s hands as if they were his own.

“I am already everywhere. Don’t fight what you created.” 

It doesn’t try to fight as Wonwoo yanks Hansol’s small body up by his tattered collar and shakes him, asking how he could possibly be this cruel. 

“This small thing means nothing to what you’ve built. Be it now or tomorrow, the boy will have to be cleansed as well.” Hansol’s mouth moves as The Machine, but his face is red and blotchy with tears and snot. 

Chan is in agony floors above him.

“My greatest work has already begun, Wonwoo. I will make pigs of you all if I must.”

A door that wasn’t there before bursts open, and Teddy steamrolls in, panicked. Another pig squeals before blood sprays on their robe.

March 3, 1900

Wonwoo hears screaming day and night. Orphans, whores, thieves, It says. No one will miss them.

Teddy has taken their remaining children across the ocean to a young country that dreams of crafting buildings to the sky. 

Even without workers and without Wonwoo’s family, The Machine operates. It prepares cattle for slaughter, as Wonwoo had hoped. Whether it is for people or of people is beyond importance. 

It offers no resistance as Wonwoo enters the lower floors, almost mindless for the first time in two days, not even bothering to shift the walls around him. 

He stops when he reaches the meat grinders and looks down to see the faces of many. He looks up and sees bodies sizzling in the pipes above. 

Only through our work can you ascend to the skies and claim the future as your kingdom.

Wonwoo feels only heat as he climbs over the railing and sets his feet between the massive blades of machinery. 

Bones and ashes sow the seeds of a new future.

Wonwoo does not know of the coming age, he decides. He does not know prophecy from fiction, from nightmares. He is only certain, now, that The Machine is him. Hansol’s body may have had little weight, but surely his own must be invaluable as the Creator.

Be proud, for this is your design. His skin rips like tired leather, and his teeth scatter like mice as he is finally crushed. Everything is finally quiet. It is finally sated. He has found an existence so much more peaceful than this.

[bl4z33467]

I am Blaze.

NSFW ACCOUNTS DNI

Woah learn more about me \/ \/ \/

Facts about me:

Im 18 years old. Im a senior in highschool. Im from Pennsylvania, EST.

Im Agender demiboy and use they/he.

I like men (gay alert). And non binary masc tbh- Im not here to date though. If you want me, befriend me first smh. Even though ik you dont lol. So sex is GROSS to me, genetalia grosses me the fuck out.

I am diagnosed with PTSD. Please do not talk to me about car crashed or vehicle accident, or make fun of my vehicle.

I do not have any other diagnosis but im frequently legitimately asked if i have autism irl, so you can make inferences. I do not like self diagnosis. I also struggle with extreme emotions, like outbursts or anger. I probably do not mean to harm you but can just lose it.

Im very happy to make friends with you, but please be patient as sometimes i can be standoffish in fear of you.

My fursona is Blazeus. They are a Gar-Pheasant Monster. I use him to express myself. Here is their reference sheet. It is old and needs updating:

Things I like:

Birds. I would consider them my "special interest." I have been obsessed with them for years and years. I have chickens, muscovies, and pigeons. I show pigeons. My favorite birds are large ground birds like peacocks and pheasants, also pigeons. Also i like birds with cool feet, like coots and sula nebouxii.

Art. I love drawing, painting, making perlers, writing, sewing, and crafting. I do not like crotchet and knitting is okay. I use my art to express my emotions and tell about who I am.

Fallout. Its a cool game, it has music I like and gameplay is fun. I love writing stories, drawing and making ocs with my friends about the fandom.

OSC. I love object shows. I like most of the "popular" ones, besides one. I did not really like one mostly cuz it was scary.

Furry Fandom. Despite my parents saying I cant use the term "furry" I still consider myself s staunch one. I love drawing and making anthropomorphic characters. I also make fur suits and love wearing paws, tails, and ears.

Cosplay. Along with fur suits, i make non-furry costumes. I love going to cons dressed up and hanging out with nerds and being silly. I mostly have made fallout cosplays, like my secuitron and t-60 helmet.

Planes. I love plane spotting, and going to plane museums. I also am a fan of the logistics of planes. My favorites are the Concorde and 747. I like commercial aircraft a lot more than military.

Barcodes. I am fascinated by barcode symbology. The science behind creating these 1d and 2d data structures is incredible fascinating to me. My favorite symbology is the PDF417

Animals. I love all animals, not just birds. I especially like bugs and fish. Some of my favorite non-avian animals include gar, trout, crickets, millipedes, hyenas, snow leopards, snakes, isopods, catfish, flounder and halibut, gharials, sharks, and eels. I also like prehistoric animals. My favorite is marrella splendens

Geography and Cultures. I love maps and flags. I also collect flags and can stare at maps forever. I memorized all the country flags. I also love countryballs. I also love learning about different cultures. Also learning about different religions is cool too! Personally, im a christian (the nice kind who actually loves thy neighbor) but I find the differences and similarities in religions fascinating. ALSOOOOO Im sorta getting into Ancient Rome but if you come and want to blabber about some war i will actually explode i strongly dislike war based history.

My friends. My best friend is @noomycatz. We met back in like 2022 in December. We have been friends ever since. We got to meet each other irl in the summer of 2024. That was the best day of my life. She means so much to me, and without her I may not even be around anymore.

Shows: Fallout, Spongebob, The Patrick Star Show, Earth Odyssey, Meltdown: Three Mile Island, Xavier Renegade Angel, Prehistoric Planet, Nasa's Unexplained Files.

Movies: The Truman Show, Chicken run 1&2, Rio, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, 2001: A Space Odessy, Interstellar, Nacho Libere, Wall-e, Home on the range (with the cows by Disney) and Bicentennial Man.

Books/short stories: Fahrenheit 451, a sound of thunder, the veldt, the city, (can you tell i like Ray Bradbury?) Do androids dream of electric sheep?, repent harlequin, said the ticktockman, harrison bergeron, one flew over the cuckoo's nest, a lesson before dying, and dogman (ik in stark contrast).

Games: Fallout (ive played 1,4,NV,shelter) Pokemon, Minecraft, spore, SSB i main game and watch, Minesweeper, Guitar Hero, Mario Odessey, Gmod, and Roblox.

Activities: Tennis, Biking, Kayaking, walks, bird watching, photography, animal husbandry, fishing from time to time.

Music: I like 1950's rock and roll, ragtime, nerd core, pop, and "white boys singing about shit" genres. Artists include Tally Hall, They might be giants, Sabrina Carpenter, Englebert Humperdink, Gene McDaniels, and Duncan Lawrence. My favorite song is Holiday Road.

Collecting. Thing i collect: flags, bones, rocks, shells, feathers, Japanese chicken figurines, pokemon cards, bottlecaps, pokemon figurines, random bird figurines

Warhammer. Okay this one is new. I dont know too much yet so please dont call me a poser. Its cewl tho im getting into it lel

Other cool things about me

Im part of the National Pigeon Association, Trout Unlimited, and my local pigeon club.

I have won awards in photography and in pigeon shows

Ive been to many different US states and 5 Counties

Im going to school for Wildlife Technology, Wildlife and Fisheries science, and Poultry and Avian Science

Im good at public speaking but not a speaking face to face

Side blogs and other contacts

Yt channel: https://youtube.com/@sardiniastan?si=I9D2_u3ocoQRtU89

Art website: https://sites.google.com/view/six-foot-goose-art/home-page

@vulpesaltilis one of my fallout au oc

@vulpesnovos another fallout au oc

@genral-sir-blaze-s-hale my fallout 4 sole survivor

@evil-bl4z33467 fat art

Discord: bl4z33467

[demonicintegrity]

Hearing that public works on ao3 were scrapped for Huggingface is so infuriating. Scrapping in general is just both a morally reprehensible way to gather data, and stupid too. If you're really going to build datasets, having a narrower parameter then "literally everything" is the very start.

According to this article it used to be a chatbot but moved onto "primarily used for natural language processing tasks, such as text generation, sentiment analysis, and chatbot development." At a glance, I would not be scrapping a huge fandom archive for that sorta thing, considering not-insignificant number of fics that aren't written with the best grammar and also crackfics.

Going to the website itself and scrolling down I see this

I am not tech savvy enough to have extended commentary on the models or datasets outside of the fact that if this company wanted to be a hub for legitimate and ethically ai development, you think they would put more care into how they were getting their information. It's those spaces i'm more concerned about.

Now, it seems than they're uploaded by different people and not just Hugging face itself, but I digress. A skim has already shown different dialogue and character creation related bots made to generate.

Here is the post of the user on hugging face who made and uploaded at dataset of ao3 fics. Needless to say, do not make accounts just to make threats and drag this creator. Knowing its a user and not the action of the website itself is only comforting until you wonder why/when will the website screen the datasets being uploaded to make sure they're ethically sourced. (This also doesn't appear to be the only dataset made with fanfiction, but by far the largest.) It appears that Hugging Face is doing what they're legally obligated to do.

Access to it has been restricted thankfully. Following that link leads me to this

and the comments are as ugly as you can expect them to be. (No, fanfiction isn't theft. It is protected under parody and fair use laws. Regardless, i cannot fathom why you would want to use them anyways.)

If you're curious if it's been scrapped, this tiktok said any work with the work id under 63,200,000 appears to be scrapped. Basically anything made mid this march and before. All of my fics, including my one original work has been scrapped. Since ao3 lawyers are on the case, there's nothing anyone else can do now but wait. There is no point in submitting your own DMCA claim because Ao3's covers all of us.

That being said, it's irritable and disheartening. This is not in the spirit of fanfiction, this is not legally or morally ethical, and it's just irritating. None of these works had consent to be reuploaded or used in this way (no matter how those ai idiots think things work. Just because it's on the internet does not mean it's free use)

The conversation now is how to prevent this from happening again. Many users are setting their work to be privated, so that way only those with an account can read fics. I fear that is a very bandaid on the bullet wound type solution, because there's nothing stopping someone from making an account and then scrapping. Ao3 themselves have their own methods to try and counteract such things. And largely, we will be relaying on the team to handle such things. (This is why that donation drive is important, i can imagine the poor legal department is going to be clocking a lot of overtime soon.) I suppose another method is just to go old school. Printed zines for yourself and your circle of friends and not online I guess.

What now? Not sure. Obviously arguing with ai bros on their own turf isn't doing anything constructive, not that I really expected anything else from the general fandom nerds tbh. It's just. A super fucking frustrating reality of the internet now. I can only hope that when enough idiots do something like this and face repercussions, it'll be a widespread lesson on Ethics in Business and 101 for all.

It sucks, because back before "AI" was associated with chatGPT and datascrapping, it was understood to be broad range of tech and code that can be really good and helpful. Unfortunately, aibros of today do not know how to, nor will put in the hard work, to making something more constructive than ArtTheftArtGeneratornumber3000 and ChatBotThatSucks2000. With so much of the slop, it's taking away time, energy, and resources from people trying to development meaningful AIs to recognize cancer and process information humans can't in a timely manner.

Edit: Its worth knowing this is not the first, nor likely the last time, ao3 has been scrapped. This isn't new but it's getting annoyingly common. And this particular dataset is *huge*