#really awesome ask i somehow didnt see this when we got it

[unhingedkinfessions]

I have a theory. The reason that all the Will Graham spiritual kins I’ve seen have been transmasc (including myself)- is because we were too irresponsible with our dicks in that past life, and so the universe revoked our penis privileges for this one. Thinking with my dick lead me down a road of cannibalism and murder. That’s why god confiscated it.

Anyways that scheme clearly didn’t work because I’m still on my homoerotic cannibalism bullshit, except now it’s just powered by boypussy. Amen.

AMEN!!!!!

[sh1nr]

I am (NOT) in love!

Yu Jimin x M!Reader

wc: 2.1k

summary: You werent really the person who could get a successful job, as you were struggling in College and graduation only did harm.

ao3

You applied to several jobs however not landing on any of them, you did want to give up but at the same time you really couldnt you had to get accepted somewhere and somehow.

After couple of weeks of waiting you decided to give up and try months later.

You decided to go out on a walk, even if it was quite early in the morning there were already lots of people. However someone caught your eye, at first you didnt recognize her but after couple cars drove away you recognized the girl Yu Jimin, or the leader of the K-Pop group aespa Karina.

There was no chance that you could get a picture with her, but maybe just maybe there was. However right as you crossed the street you realized she was gone, that was it your only chance to meet her was gone.

“Hey” Someone tapped your shoulder

“Hey-” You turned around to be met with her

“I saw how you looked at me! Do you want to get a picture?” Karina asked

“I uh- Yes!” You were shocked, and for good reason.

You thought that maybe she would just go to her manager, instead she decided to talk to you a bit.

“Where are you from?” Karina asked

“Seoul!” You answered

“Awesome!” Karina said “Do you have a job?”

“Uh no…why?” You asked back

“You could be a manager of a K-Pop group!” Karina answered

“I think i would be fine-” You said

“Im serious” Karina said “Here, call this number when you get home”

“But-” You said

“Hope to see you again!” Karina said before she ran off to what looked like the groups car.

You couldnt believe it, Karina THE Karina gave a phone number to you!? 

The moment you got back home, you called the number.

Feeling slight anxiety in you, afterall Karina gave you a number which she said you had to call. An idol of a K-Pop group.

“Hello?” A voice asked

“H-hello!” You said

“So you called?” The voice asked

“Yes…Karina?” You answered

“Hey” Karina siad

“Why did i have to call you?” You asked

“I just thought you were cute…i want to meet you again and know you better” Karina said

“Seriously?” You asked

“Yes.” Karina answered

“Oh my god!” You said

“Haha! you can come to the SM building at around 12pm tomorrow.” Karina said

“Yes alright!” You said

“Awesome! See you tomorrow!” Karina said before hanging up

That night you couldnt sleep, you felt a rush of excitement and for good reason. You have no idea what would happen however you were really excited.

You woke up the next day and went to the building. Reaching the building you took a deep breath before walking in.

“Hello!” A voice said

“Hello-” You turned around to be met with Karina

“You called?” Karina asked

“Yeah” You answered

“Good. Come with me.” Karina said before you followed her. Both of you entered an escalator and silence set in.

“Where are we going?” You asked

“Our practice room.” Karina answered

Oh. Thats not what you thought, maybe the call wasnt even a real one?

“Here we are!” Karina said

“Are you sure-” You said before she opened the door, you entered to room seeing no one, matter of fact it was dimly light.

“Am i allowed to be here?” You asked

“Yeah” Karina answered “I have a badge which you can use as if you were my manager”

“Oh” You said 

“How often are you free?” Karina asked

“All the time” You answered

“Good.” Karina said “Would you want to become a manager?”

“Huh?” You asked

“Would you like to become a manager!” Karina said

“No i heard…are you serious?” You asked

“Why wouldnt i?” Karina asked back “So…yes or-”

“Yes. I would love to!” You answered

“Good. We can go sign the papers then” Karina said before you followed her out of the practice room.

You were thinking about how you got here, how you got the job of being a manager of Karina. An idol you looked up to.

“This is insane” You said to yourself hoping she wouldnt hear it

“What is?” Karina asked

“That im your manager” You answered

“Really?” Karina asked

“Yes.” You answered

“Adorable” Karina said before hugging you

At the same time you were anxious, what if the members dont support you? What if other managers and staff dont support you?

“Where are you going?” Karina asked

“Home.” You answered

“Uh no…you will live with me and the members.” Karina said “Im not joking.”

“Right.” You said

“Have you met the members?” Karina asked

“No.” You answered “Well i did meet NingNing”

“Oh?” Karina said

“I was a former trainee here actually!” You said

“Oh so thats why you are familiar” Karina said “Wait…did you and Winter used to be close?”

“Yes” You answered

“Oh thats cool” Karina said “Alright lets go to our dorm”

The ride to the dorm wasnt long, but you did feel anxious as this was your first time meeting them.

Once you arrived you quickly followed Karina.

“Hey?” Karina asked

“Yeah?” You asked back

“They are really nice…dont be worried” Karina assured you

“I know” You said

“You give warm hugs” Karina said

“You too” You said

“But uh-” Karina said before opening the door

“Oh you-” Giselle said “You got a boyfriend!?”

“Manager.” Karina said

“You look attractive, Karina has taste” Giselle said

“Shut up!” Karina said

“Oh hey Y/n!” Winter said before hugging you

“Sup” You said “How did you meet him?” Winter asked

“On the street.” Karina answered

“Oh wow” NingNing said

“Yeah but…he looked cute so i wanted to know more about him” Karina said

“I wont be surprised if you start dating” Winter teased her

“We just met.” Karina said

“Who says you cant date him!” Giselle said

“Me?” Winter said

“Right” Karina said “I uh…lets go to my room!”

“Oooo!!” The girls teased you both as you followed Karina

“So this is my room” Karina said locking the door behind her

“I mean its nothing special but-” Karina said “Hey…you didnt feel awkward about all of that?”

“Sort of.” You said

“Im sorry” Karina said “I dont know why they did that”

“Its fine!” You said “Im used to these kind of teasing”

“You are?” Karina asked as she looked back up to you

“Yeah” You answered

“Oh so it wasnt that bad for you?” Karina asked

“Nope.” You said “Well i did feel awkward.”

“Seriously?!” Karina asked as she went closer to you before putting her hands on your shoulders. Knowing where this could go you wanted to still play with her a bit.

“Seriously.” You said, seconds later she leaned in you thought she would kiss you however she didnt.

“Lets take this slowly…” Karina whispered but loud enough for you to hear and then kissed your cheek.

“Karina-” You said before she closed the door

“Oh you are back!” Winter said as she saw Karina exit her room

“Well you look happier now” Giselle said

“Yes because hes so nice.” Karina said

“In what way?” Ning asked

“He takes care of others really well” Karina answered

“Great to hear” Giselle said

“How did you get SM to agree?” Winter asked

“I already told them that i found a new manager before i even broke the news to him.” Karina said

“Oh but what if he said no?” Winter asked

“Then nothing!” Karina said

“He seems cute and really likable” Giselle said “Im glad you chose him!”

“Oh thanks” You said as you entered the living room

“Oh god-” Giselle said

“I think that Y/n is very cute too! I hope we can make him feel happy and loved here” Winter said

“Thank you Minjeong!” You said

“M-minjeong?” Winter said blushing a bit

“Dont steal Karinas boyfriend…Minjeong!” Ning teased

“I am not stealing him.” Winter said

You didnt understand why and how the girls adored, however you dont want this to end.

The next couple of weeks were relatively calm, as you werent really home that often but when you were you felt like you were back home. As if being with aespa was your new home.

And it really was, the girls cared for you as much as you did for them.

“Karina?” Winter asked

“Yeah?” Karina asked back

“Whats the deal between you and Y/n?” Winter asked

“Nothing. Hes our manager” Karina said “Are you jealous?”

“Uh no im not” Winter said

“You want me to cuddle with you as i do- did.” Karina said

“You cuddle with him?” Winter asked “I knew it! There was no reason for you to have him to yourself!”

“Hes the manager and im the leader of our group its normal to be this close” Karina said

“You treat him like hes in our group!” Winter said

“Because he sort of is. He takes care of us, lives with us and travels everywhere with us” Karina said

“But-” Winter said

“Why are you fighting over me?” You asked entering the room

“We arent” Karina said

“I heard everything” You said “Its just…i love you guys but fighting just because i spend time with one member more?”

“Sorry” Winter broke her silence

“No its fine.” You said “If i spend more time with one member doesnt mean i dont i love the others!”

“So you do love me!” Karina said

“Yeah. You are literally my bias” You said

“Hey!” Winter said

“I love you too dont worry” You said

“Good” Winter said

You never understood why they fought over you, maybe it was just to test how you would respond or they did that because they genuinely had love for you.

“Y/n!” Giselle called you

“Yeah?” You asked

“Are you and Karina dating?” Giselle asked

“Nope” You answered “Even if i was dont you think i would spend time with her?”

“Yes, but maybe you are hiding it thats why” Giselle said

“I am not” You said

“You both would make a cute couple” Ning said breaking her silence

“Yeah” Giselle said

“We would?” You asked

“Does that surprise you?” Ning asked

“Yeah” You answered “Its just that i was a fan before i became your manager”

“Lucky fan” Giselle said “But hey who knows! maybe you will date her”

“Maybe” You said

Later that night you had lots of thoughts in your head not only about the girls schedule for the next month or so but also about the conversation you Giselle and Ning had.

“Everything alright?” Karina asked

“Yeah just a lot of thoughts” You said

“About what?” Karina asked

“You…your group.” You said

“Me?” Karina asked “Aw am i that annoying-”

“You arent annoying” You said

“Then why else am i on your mind” Karina said as she sat besides you

“You…uh” You tried to think of something to say, but it was too hard.

“Aw my baby cant think anymore?” Karina said

Oh? Thats new.

“Karina-” You said

“Dont act like you dont want to kiss me. I have seen how you look at me” Karina said “How you check me out.”

“I do yes but-” You said before Karina kissed you. The kiss quickly turned into a makeout which you loved.

At the same time you were nervous about someone walking in, but Karina wasnt. For her it made everything better, the chance of someone catching you both.

“Mmm” Karina moaned against your lips

The kiss ended by someone walking in

“Hey i-” Giselle. Of course it was her, she was the person who wanted you both to date the most.

“Go!” Karina said before pushing her out of the room

“Congrats-” Giselle said before Karina closed the door.

There was an awkward silence between the two of you.

“Hey look-” You said

“Shush” Karina put a finger on your lips “Baby.”

“Right” You said to yourself

“I think we should finally settle it” Karina said

“Settle what?” You asked

“I know its been only 5 months but i think we should date” Karina said

“Sure?” You said “I dont know how to feel about all of this”

“Yeah i know imagine dating an idol. Your bias but still…you are adorable, attractive and very good looking” Karina said

“Thanks” You said before hugging her

“Is it official?” Karina whispered but loud enough for you to hear

“It is.” You said before kissing her again. This time it didnt turn into a makeout instead it was a calm and soft kiss.

“Giselle probably told others.” You said

“Probably, but its official i dont care” Karina said

[desirediariesx]

diary entry #3

I got fucked so hard that I was ¢umming and crying at the same time

I discovered a new k!nk... Now, I kinda already knew that I had this one, but I never knew that I was thattttt into it ahaha. Ive always been submissive ever since I first started having sex but last night it was taken to a new level. I had the most powerful org@sm of my entire life and I think im obsessed now. I went on a date with this new guy and he ticked all the boxes. He planned everything and picked me up and was polite and charismatic and interesting and smart. He was awesome enough that I ended up letting him take me home with him, and DAMN, I did not expect him to be even better in bed than he was on the date but he really hit a home run ahahaha.

When we got to his place he had already kinda gotten me h0rny just by touching and hugging me at all the right times and we were making out within minutes of sitting down on the couch. All of a sudden he picked me up like I was nothing (hes so strong), and carried me to his bedroom. He set me down on the bed gently and expertly took off all of my clothes. I could tell I was gonna get fucked good already haha. In seconds I was fully naked and his tongue was deep inside of my pussy kissing and licking every part of it. I was SOAKED lol.

Little did I know, he had way more planned for me than just some good head haha. He could tell I was ready to get fucked so he took his shorts off and kissed me while rubbing his c0ck against my wet af pu$$y. He wrapped his hand around my throat while asking me if I liked how I tasted at the same time. His c0ck was huge so even tho I was super fucking wet it took him a second to fully get into me. After a minute or two of being fucked gently I think he realized that I wanted even more, and he took it up a notch.

He started asking me if I wanted to be fucked like the dirty little $lut that I am and I nodded and moaned in approval. He started choking me HARD and I could barely catch my breath. Then, all of a sudden he slapped me fucking hard across my face and he told me he was gonna use me like the toy I was. Ive never been so turned on in my life ahah. He started absolutely pounding me at that point and he was hitting me everywhere. My ass, my t!ts, my face.

He COMMANDED me to open my mouth and he spit in my mouth, then ordered me to swallow it. I did. He kept hitting me while he fucked me and it was so fucking intense but somehow also the best feeling ive ever had.

At one point he slapped me across the face so fucking hard, and all of a sudden I found myself crying. Like CRYING CRYING. I had tears pouring down my cheeks. He didnt stop tho, and I didnt want him to. Seconds later I was ¢umming harder then I ever had in my entire life and I had like a two minute long orgasm it was INSANE. At the end of it he told me that I was his and he filled my pussy with ¢um. Ive never wanted a guys ¢um inside me so bad.

I never knew that I would enjoy being fucked so roughly like that but I cant fucking wait until the next time I get to see him. I think I want his child lmaoooo. I just had to tell someone about this cause I feel like ill never think about sex the same way after that experience so I hope u guys enjoy haha

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Hi,

Do you ever think on the first conversation Inej and Kaz had in Heleen's office? It feels like theres a lot there and I wondered if you have any thoughts on it. I come back a lot to when Inej asks Kaz if he convinced Per Haskell to buy out her indenture because "you like Suli girls" and Kaz answers "i don't know enough Suli girls to say"

that's a very interesting sort of snarky answer to me because he refutes the idea that he's the type to fetishize the Suli culture to the point of being "into" Suli women just because they are Suli. But also he doesn't just shut down the idea of him being into anyone. Which ... This is post Imogen debacle, he's resigned himself to not being "into" anyone at this point for several years. He doesn't care how people see him for it either. He could have been ruder or more just more direct about this, but he wasn't. And its like that with many of his early actions towards Inej. He's nicer than you'd think he'd be and its interesting becuase i don't get a sense that Kaz fell for Inej "at first sight", i think his love for her was gradual and snuck up on him (heh) so really everything he did at first and especially not demanding she gets a dregs tatto must have been from some basic sense of compassion, although he'd shank me for saying so.

Also, i always wondered how Kaz explained to Haskell why Inej didnt get a tattoo, then i re-read the books recently i realized omg i bet he totally probably just didn't?! Inej wasn't the type talk about it, she wears concealing clothes and is not very seen/social within the gang so my theory is that lazy ass Haskell didnt ask and assumed she got a tatto and kaz just let the assumption happen. Do you think that's believable?

Hi, thanks so much for your question - and so sorry it’s taken me an eternity to reply!

When I tell you that I think about this meeting once a week… well I’m hoping that you think “woah so cool she knows so much and thinks so in depth about these characters literary analysis is awesome” and not “Jesus Christ she’s insane”. But genuinely, the Kanej meeting is something I think about a lot and I think holds an awful lot of meaning.

The “you like Suli girls” “I don’t know enough Suli girls to say” to me is such a wonderful moment because, as you quite rightly said, it immediately refutes Kaz’s endorsement of the hyper-sexualisation of Suli culture that we see so prevalently in Kerch / Ketterdam (I’ve gone into this at length before but in a whistle stop tour think about the way the Menagerie customers talk about Inej and place so much emphasis on her skin colour, her bedroom at the Menagerie being a “farcical” version of a Suli caravan, the way “the Menagerie always stocked a Suli girl”, the Rare Spices billboard, etc). And this is so important for so many reasons, but in particular because the second Heleen exits the room and she’s alone with Kaz, Inej immediately tenses at the assumption that he is going to rape or assault her- “braced herself for what would come next, fingers twisting in her silks”. And what happens instead? He asks her for her name. Her name, that has been ignored and erased for an entire year as yet another roll of dehumanisation piled against her. Even though the pair discuss and make a clear understanding of the fact that this isn’t some kind of rescue mission and Inej’s world isn’t going to suddenly fix itself, this moment makes an instant connection for Inej between Kaz Brekker and safety. Because somehow, despite everything that’s happening, this moment in Tante Heleen’s office is the safest Inej has felt for an entire year. It’s also interesting that you mentioned he doesn’t shut down the idea of not being interested in anyone and I definitely agree with that, personally I don’t believe that Kaz is asexual although I know some people headcanon him that way it’s just not something that works for me and my perception of his character, and that’s because of situations like his attraction to Imogen and several situations he’s in with Inej. His exact words when considering being with Imogen are “he knew the things he was supposed to want. He did want those things”, which to me very clearly shows that he does experience sexual attraction and sexual desire, and the limiting factor is his ptsd and touch aversion rather than his sexuality/orientation. I agree that Kaz and Inej didn’t experience a love at first sight kind of moment, but I do think that this meeting really solidified their relationship to a level of immediate understanding between them, in essence an acknowledgment of them being “twin soldiers, marching on, pretending they were fine”. They are both able to see the other, clock that they understand to some extent, and respect each other.

Kaz is quite abrasive in this scene, but what always gets me is how confrontational Inej is able to be - “And what happens when you take their money, and you become a rich man?”. (The quote is something to that effect, sorry I don’t have my book with me right now). I think that a big aspect of her being able to summon the confidence to put herself against him so immediately is that she genuinely feels this level of safety with him, because this far he represents the opposite of everything that had tormented her. Or at the very least the polar end of a spectrum that she has been tormented by another part of. And controversially to the image of everything Inej has experienced in the Barrel so far, Kaz is amused by and enjoys her standing up to him, in fact he almost seems endeared by it saying “Then you can steal all my secrets too”.

And ohh the tattoo, or lack thereof, makes me so happy! It doesn’t require much reading between the lines to understand the relevance of Kaz not forcing Inej to take the Dregs tattoo on, she even says herself that he refused to be the one who marked her again, but I love the idea that he didn’t actually tell anyone she’s not got it!! I hadn’t considered this before but it makes perfect sense with everything we know about Inej’s relationship with the Dregs - Nina doesn’t know she lacks the tattoo, and Inej comments on the fact that the others can’t see her scars from having the Menagerie feather removed but that “they all knew it was there”, suggesting she keeps her forearms covered most of the time, and the emotional disconnect she feels from the rest of the Dregs is always discussed at an intellectual level and in the way she spends most of her time with Kaz or alone rather than with them rather than any dislike/distrust/etc of her because she didn’t take on the tattoo. I absolutely love this theory because it takes away any feeling of guilt around lacking the tattoo and also makes it a far more personal thing to be shared only between Kaz and herself.

Thank you so much, I’m so sorry it took me so long to reply, but I hope this made sense and that you enjoyed reading it! <3

[0547]

close to you! (xiao x oc oneshot)

“I was so cool, but then, all of a sudden, you saw me look at you.”

a/n : hey gang this was a spontaneous idea i got while listening to close to you by gracie 😭 anyways BYR: i didnt know if i wanted to make it oc or reader bc i already had a character imagined in my head lol um i could make this a series bc i see it building up haha i thought of so so many characters to do this with but ended up w xiao bc i think this would be a pretty interesting romance dynamic……. hes not so emo/rude js awkward teenager vibes but js lmk if u want more of this anyways enjoysies hihihi 🤞🏻❤️😝

the cold liquid splashed, making a sticky wet spot right on the boy’s shirt.

“oh my god. dude— im really sorry!” childe gasped, fishing out his handkerchief from his jeans back pocket, patting xiao’s chest frantically.

“just leave it. it’s fine—” the boy grumbled, ignoring the ginger’s worried eyes, untying his leather jacket from his waist and wore it over his shoulders.

“—when’s the grand act starting anyway?” xiao asked, his eyes scanning the empty stage. they both were standing quite close, in childe’s best efforts to ‘excuse me’ his way to the front.

ugh. he didn’t even like shows like this anyway. but since that old man was so happy that xiao reluctantly agreed to his father’s boyfriend to take him out, he couldn’t really say no to zhongli’s pleased face, (and though he wouldn’t admit it, childe’s beaming face too.)

so to his best efforts, xiao went out on this sunday night anyway, in attempt to have some ‘bonding time’.

“—now, i think. look! the ceiling lights are moving!” childe exclaimed excitedly, and the crowd around them matched his enthusiasm as the strum of the guitar echoed in the hall and people began to cheer.

“are you ready?”

the crowd roared.

the stage lights adjusted themselves over the lead singer, dressed in white laced dress, in contract of her shoulder length jet black hair, and charismatic… star-like? eyes.

she gave a big grin to the audience, her fingers going over her guitar, and that’s probably when xiao felt his heart stop.

it wasn’t because the performance was fully captivating, or that her voice was so melancholy the crowd was practically screaming in worship of the ethereal singer,

it’s when their eyes met, and her forehead was dripping with sweat from jumping around the stage, and how her eyes seemed to smile ever wider than her lips did.

-

once the performance was over, childe and xiao went back to sit at their table.

“hey, that was awesome right? i told you would have a good time!” childe chuckled, taking a sip of his orange juice (now in a cup with lid and straw, as he was afraid to spill it on xiao again.)

“i need a minute.” xiao said, excusing himself from the table, his heart beating wildly, unbeknownst to a confused childe.

he walked out of the building, sucking in the cold night air, and leaned against the exposed brick wall with closed eyes and a sigh, trying to place this adrenaline.

“enjoyed the show?” a voice beside him asked.

he flinched and whipped his head to … the lead singer that caused him this distress. she was.. smoking.

he gave a curt nod in response, and watched her throw out her cigarette, and leaned back the wall like him, staring into the sky.

“it’s kinda rare we get gigs in this area of town, but y’know, shit happens.” she said nonchalantly, sighing.

xiao didn’t know what to say to that. “um, shit happens.” he agreed, and they shared the silence for a while.

she turned to look at him, “so, are you from here?”

“i—“

“mari! where the hell are you!” a voice from the back alleyway bellowed. they both flinched.

“shit! right, sorry um, i have to go…?”

“xiao.”

“right! okay xiao. i’m mari. i’ll see you when i see you!” she waved goodbye, dashing back inside the building.

xiao watched the girl’s figure rush inside, and he too, followed her.

-

it was two weeks after the show, somehow his heart slowed to a normal pace when he talked to her, the cool singer girl.

he resumed his normal routine, school, exercise, helping zhongli do house chores, the general diligence good chinese sons have.

although it didn’t mean he could get her out of his head. it was probably because he never saw someone glow so brilliantly, so passionately…

he ended up sketching her face in corners of his exercise books. he sort of did it unconsciously, because when he realised what his hands created, he quickly scribbled over the face with ink.

i mean, he didn’t share the whole thing of girls with boys his age. he wasn’t even mildly interested in the magazines or the vulgar videos his peers would always invite him to watch. zhongli actually did express some concern and wanted to give a mortifying talk on how sexuality is a spectrum blah blah blah, xiao cut him off rather quickly and assured him he will let him know if he’s gay or not.

he did do some research if the band uploaded songs online, and they did, rows of recordings with as little as 400 views. he ended up fighting negative comments under their youtube videos, on their official instagram posts, even as far as following a twitter stan page and actively liking updates.

according to some trivia of the little known things about the members, mari was actually around xiao’s age, which made him hopeful, ha, as if they could ever be friends!

shes also known to be an outgoing and friendly person,

thats true, according to their short interaction, he noted to himself.

…and dislikes tofu.

what?

“how could she not like tofu… it’s literally the best comfort food.” he muttered under his breath in utter disbelief, as his hand hovered over the mouse. in his opinion, people who didn’t like tofu shouldn’t be trusted at all.

maybe he was sort of becoming a fanboy. maybe. but it wasn’t a big deal. it wasn’t. he just had this undying urge of wanting to get to know this girl for about half a month now.

-

mari’s voice singing in his earphones was in tune with xiao’s humming as he completed the conclusion of his essay he had to submit before lunch.

as he worked, the rowdy class became quiet, and hutao passed his desk and pulled the wired earphones out of his ear.

“oi, the teacher’s here!” she hissed, and carefully stood in her own seat, giving the usual class greeting.

as everyone echoed her, the teacher began to gesture someone outside the door to step in the class.

xiao felt his heart skip a beat when the person came in view.

the tofu hater?

“alright dear… come along now…! okay everyone, a bit unusual to have someone transfer in so late in the semester, but please welcome our new student, marin!” the teacher beamed, gesturing to mari, who fixed her newly worn glasses on her nose.

xiao couldn’t move. why is his pulse thumping so goddamn loudly?

“hello, i hope we can all get along.. please just call me mari.”

this was going to be a problem.

[my-castles-crumbling]

hey cas! wow, look at me not going anon for once ahahaha

also, while im here id just like to say that your name now reminds me of two taylor swift songs. castles crumbling (for obvious reasons) but also now i see 'cas' and i think 'ah, they killed you first because you feared the worst, hm? did you try to tell the town?' this has no relevance to the rest of my ask but it makes me smile to mashup the two songs in my head every time i come across one of your posts <3

(but also now that i think about it: castles crumbling x cassandra mashup??? that would absolutely slay and im quite incredibly tempted to make it now)

i wondered if you had any advice for how to go about reaching out to an old friend? we went to the same high school for a year and got really close but then when she moved schools we lost touch. its now been over a year and a half but i keep finding things that remind me of her and its really making me wanna recconect somehow, but it feels so awkward and weird to just... message her? what do i even say ahaha

shes a really sweet and warm and all-round lovely person (yes i had a minor crush on her when we were close. i know its obvious but i never made a move, she liked someone else, it didnt change anything with us) so i know she wouldnt be likely to be really weird about me reaching out but its still absolutely terrifying because what if she doesnt think about our old friendship anymore? what if im a faded memory by now?? what if she thinks it is really random and weird for me to reach out now all of a sudden?

any advice at all would be greatly appreciated! (as are you! youre so awesome and the fact that we interact sometimes is still so cool to me, so thank you for your existence! youre so worthy of everything good that comes to you <3)

Okay but that mashup would be so cool. Please make it.

As far as reaching out- I mean it is random, but not bad! How would you feel if someone reached out to you? Like I would be honored, you know? That someone was thinking of me. I think the thing is, its not insulting to reach out to someone, it's a NICE thing to do. So you should! If she acts awkward, it's not anything you did wrong, she's just not a cool person anymore and at least you tried!

Also YOU are just as worthy of amazingness, hon <3

[quodekash]

good morning, friends! im exhausted and only got like four hours of sleep, but at least im (kind of) mentally prepared to revisit the episode, so (you probably know the drill by now), here’s all my commentary and thoughts and stuff from the episode! 

i feel like its important for everyone to know that i made myself an ice tea at 11:30pm because i knew i wouldnt be able to survive the episode alone 

(and dont suggest that the ice tea is the cause of the lack of sleep, if anything it’s the only reason i got to sleep) 

i was very nervous in the beginning cos i was pretty sure photjanee wouldnt be homophobic but also what if she is 

props to her for not asking tinn cos he was visibly nervous/afraid 

and gun told gim and she didnt even say anything at first. she just looked so freaking proud, then hugged him and said “whoever you love, i love” and i love her so much she’s a freaking perfect mother 

PHOTJANEE’S NEURODIVERGENT AND AWESOME HUSBAND who is still nameless IS SITTING NEXT TO HER SO HE’S GONNA SAY SOME HELPFUL AND SUPPORTIVE WORDS 

“were you afraid to hear the answer” im sensing a recurring themeeee (if youve forgotten and somehow havent rewatched the show over and over again, in episode 6 gun kept saying he was afraid to hear the answer of who tinn liked) 

“i think if he’s ready, he’ll tell you himself. give it time. time for tinn and yourself.” I LOVE THIS MAN 

also side note: she’s really pretty 

i smell a sponsorship 

a canon printer sponsorship 

theyre so subtle with their sponsorships 

“by the way, this printer is so convenient, it can be used with any operating system, right?” NICE ONE GEM, REAL SUBTLE, NO ONE WILL KNOW 

TIWPOR TINNGUN DOUBLE DATE STUDY DATE ONCE AGAIN 

AND SOUNDWIN BEHIND THEM (and also yo and pat i guess) 

tinngun are always reminiscent of patpran, but so much throughout this episode it literally felt like i was watching bad buddy 

GUN FINALLY KNOWS THAT TIW KNOWS AND GUN IS LIKE ‘wait did you tell him’ AND TIW JUST GOES 

“do you think this nerd would succeed in getting your love without my help”

AND HE’S SO ICONIC AND HE’S SO RIGHT AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OH MY GOSH 

also rip four and tinn’s homosecuality, they have to pretend to date for this music video 

also also WE GET TO SEE FOUR AND HER GIRLFRIEND AGAIN OMG I LOVE THEM 

THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY 

LOOK AT THEM AND THEIR IN-LOVE-NESS 

cant wait for the homophobia this episode /sarc

“we just have to wait until the dinosaurs are extinct and humans rule the world” TIW LITERALLY JUST SAID WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR ALL THE BOOMERS TO DIE OUT AND THEN GAYS CAN RULE THE WORLD THIS IS FREAKING HILARIOUS 

I CANT EXPLAIN IT, THEIR FACES ARE SO REMINISCENT OF PATPRAN AND MORE SO THAN USUAL 

does- does this count as a first kiss 

that was so sudden 

um

help??? 

theyre so cute tho i love them 

PROM DAY (looking back, how does so much happen in this one day) 

✨gotta love being outed✨

GUN JUST TOLD THE BROSKIS 

and por is, naturally, very excited 

but also somehow very oblivious 

i had a feeling yo knew already 

apparently sound told win ages ago (when? idk man) 

pat having a suspicion about it is actually very surprising 

“you and you, what’s going on? you’ve been weird” 

FINALLY THE SCENE OF THEM HOLDING HANDS AND SHOWING THE GUYS IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR WAY TOO FREAKING LONG 

AND THEY BOTH LOOK SO FREAKING HAPPY 

IM DYING 

i need to ingrain every soundwin scene from this episode into my brain cos there’s so much of it and i want to see it all forever please 

tis raining and theyre under an umbrella and soundwin did it first 

okay so. it sucks that they were outed. and people shouldnt take photos of other people and then post it on social media because they can, cos thats an invasion of privacy and is not cool. 

on the other hand, everyone seems thrilled by it and tinngun aren’t hurt by it happening so i guess its okay 

in general tho people should not do this cos it could go very badly 

but this is a bl drama not real life so its fine 

I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE A NEUROSPICY GUY 

they did the happy arms 

and theyre sitting cross-legged on top of a table 

i love you random side character 

PAT AND POR BEING ALL HAPPY AND EXCITED IS HILARIOUS I LOVE THEM 

“no one cares about people’s sexual orientation these days. its a new world. right, pumpkin??” GUI4HERIH4IIGU (note to past me: it gets worse. you’re gonna progressively die even more) 

EW PEOPLE ARE MESSAGING PHOTJANEE SAYING TINN’S GONNA RUIN THE SCHOOL’S REPUTATION AND STUFF 

...what series was it 

did- did you watch bad buddy, photjanee 

did tinn’s parents watch bad buddy 

ive decided they watched bad buddy until proven otherwise 

‘its down to us whether we’re as kind to our son as those in the series’ THIS MAN HAS THE WISEST KINDEST WORDS AND I WANT TO GIVE HIM A BIG HUG 

tiw and tinn are actually really sad about kajorn leaving the student council which is slightly confusing (not cos i hate him, im finding it increasingly difficult to hate him, i just didn’t think tiw and tinn actually liked kajorn) 

‘people are arguing whether it’s guntinn or tinngun’ 

... 

im gonna say it 

i have to say it 

you cant stop me from saying it 

soundwin did it first 

(technically it was satangwinny vs winnysatang but thats not the point) 

there i said it 

hah 

babes she’s known for months 

(but yes absolutely if you’re comfortable telling her and you think you should, go right ahead :] )

i hate this teacher 

i would like to punch him please 

luckily i know, thanks to the preview last episode, that he does, in fact, get punched, so it’s all good 

KAJORN IS IN THE ROOM WHILE GUN IS DISTRESSED 

I REPEAT, JORN IS THERE 

yay tinn is there with gun while he cries 

thank you tinn for existing 

NO 

GO AWAY TEACHER 

DON’T ENTER THE ROOM 

"im sorry, i was just joking around with my friend, i didnt mean to insult you" yeah, okay, well thats only part of the problem. other problems are: a. the fact that you had to say such a horrible thing in order to joke around with your friend. if that's the kind of humour your friend has, that person should not be your friend, unless it's also your humour, in whcih case, that isnt a sincere apology. b. it's not just that you insulted gun. you also insulted an entire community of people, of students, of human beings, who just want to exist and live as people doing what they want to do. you cant say something homophobic and then only apologise because it hurt one person close to you. you say something homophobic, and then you apologise - in a way that you GENUINELY MEAN - and say you had no intention of hurting so many people, including gun. or, alternatively, dont say the homophobic thing in the first place. c) you’re a freaking TEACHER. a TEACHER is there to SUPPORT and CARE for ALL of their students. a TEACHER should not be saying terrible things where ANYONE could overhear. if a TEACHER cannot be supportive for ALL STUDENTS, then they should not be a teacher. (im a huge defender of teachers cos theyre human beings with lives and families and hobbies and theyre more than just the adult human that tells you 2 plus 2 is 4. but i am also a huge defender of students cos theyre human beings and also children and theyre still developing. and i am especially a defender of students and an offender of teachers when the teacher clearly hates children or isnt a good teacher or should not at all be a teacher. so this isnt me hating all teachers, i love teachers, i could talk about how unappreciated they are for hours. but i cannot stand it when a teacher behaves the way this teacher did. i hate it so freaking much.) 

THE TEACHER WAS “SHOCKED” COS GUN IS A “ROCKSTAR” SO THE TEACHER “THOUGHT YOU WERE MANLY” 

THATS NOT AN EXPLANATION NOR IS THAT AN APOLOGY 

GENDER AND SEXUAL IDENTITY ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FREAKING THINGS 

AND EVEN THEN, GENDER AND GENDER EXPRESSION ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FREAKING THINGS 

LIKING MEN DOESNT MAKE SOMEONE ANY LESS ‘MANLY’ SO STFU AND GET FIRED ALREADY 

FREAKING YES 

GOOD

HELL YES 

KAJORN PUNCHED THE TEACHER BEFORE TINN COULD 

THIS IS EVERYTHING I COULDVE ASKED FOR OR NEEDED 

I LOVE IT SO MUCH 

I LOVE KAJORN SO MUCH 

IM FINALLY ALLOWED TO NOT HATE HIM AND IM VERY GLAD ABOUT IT 

DAMN SOUND 

I MEAN I AGREE BUT WOW I WASNT EXPECTING THAT 

‘i HoPe YoU giVe A fAiR jUdGeMeNt oN tHiS cAsE’ bro its not court 

and absolutely she’ll give fair judgement 

shes freaking awesome and i love her 

also what does probation mean 

“don’t use violence to solve problems. do you understand?” okay, yes, im 100% on board with you, i completely agree, but, hear me out here: homophobia. 

I LOVE PHOTJANEE SO MUCH 

COLD AS ICE SHE GOES “if you’re not satisfied with my judgement, write a complaint. but dont forget to add every detail truthfully” 

SHE’S SO ICONIC 

TRULY A SLAY 

“LET GO OF MY SON. as principal, all i can do is submit a report regarding your behavior to those in authority. but as a mom, MY SON CAN LIKE WHOEVER HE LIKES. STAY OUT OF IT. if i hear anything filthy from you again, your penalty will go far beyond this” I FELT HER ANGER 

I LOVE HER WITH ALL MY SOUL 

SHES FREAKING AWESOME 

and kajorn looks so happy and content 

i love him 

PROM TIME AND THE STIMS ARE STIMMING REAL HARD RN 

WHY AM I CRYING WHILE LISTENING TO YOU’VE GOT MA BACK? THIS ISN’T A SAD SONG 

C O M E   C L O S E R 

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH POR 

OOOOO NEW SONG 

SOUNDWIN CHEEK KISS 

IM LITERALLY CRYING THEYRE SO CUTE 

(note to past me: it’s gonna get worse) 

aww gun’s in the audience singing directly to tinn this is so cute 

GRBRHKBGRIUBJROBUR

I WOULDVE BEEN CONTENT WITH JUST SOUND KISSING WIN BUT IM NOT COMPLAINING 

I AM THE OPPOSITE OF COMPLAINING 

GIREBVIRUB

TINN AND GUN ARE GOING ON THE STAGE TOGETHER HAND IN HAND 

HOW IS THIS SO FREAKING PERFECT 

AND SOUND’S GOT A GUITAR SOLO COS HE’S AWESOME LIKE THAT 

HAPPINESS 

BIG HAPPIES 

MUCH OF THE VERY HAPPINESS 

their hugs always look so comfy 

someone in the audience asked if theyre real and gun said nothing but hashtag #MySchoolPresident and it’s still so funny to me 

its like theyre telling us the watchers 

like USE TEH HASHTAG, PLEASE 

and we’re like WEVE ALREADY BEEN DOING THAT, CALM DOWN 

ew old teachers 

shut up with your judgy faces 

no one cares 

YAY FOR YOUNG PROGRESSIVE TEACHERS WHO DONT CARE WHAT THE BOOMERS THINK 

cos, as tiw said, the boomers will die out soon and then gays can rule the world 

can the episode just end here 

i dont want to go through the emotional turmoil of whats coming 

cos i know its coming 

there’s gonna be a graduation scene 

and im very scared 

my mentally ill butt can never be okay for graduation scenes 

and yet my mentally ill butt keeps consuming media set in the senior year of high school 

DAMN THIS ENDING IS GONNA BE LONG 

31:48 MINUTES 

STRAP IN YOUR SEATBELTS COS WE’RE GONNA BE IN FOR ONE EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER 

NO 

WAIT NO LET THERE BE MORE 

JUST ONE MORE 

OR TWO 

OR AN ENDLESS AMOUNT 

DON’T LET IT BE OVER 

PLEASE 

“its the last day of our high school lives.” ACK SHOOT FREAK FRENCH GUSTAV AND SHOELACES AND TURTLES AND FREAKING SHOOT NOODLES WHAT THE FLIP 

AH SHOOT I FORGOT ABOUT KAJORN BEING A YEAR YOUNGER THAN THEM 

HE HAS TO CARRY ON THEIR LEGACY WITHOUT THEM 

HES FREAKING ALONE 

IDEK IF HE HAS ANY FRIENDS 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ooo we’re gonna get another pool scene soon 

NO STOP IT WITH THE SIGNED SHIRTS I CANT TAKE IT 

‘no one ever asks if i can sign their shirts :[’ ‘sign my shirt’ 

‘ILL WRITE DOWN WHAT I FEEL THAT IM TOO AFRAID TO SAY’ I FREAKING LOVE THEM 

WAIT 

SHOOT

I KNOW I ASKED FOR IT BUT I DIDNT EXPECT THEM TO ACTUALLY DO IT 

IM IN SHOCK 

LITERALLY CRYING 

WHAT THE FLIP 

HOLY FREAK 

NO WAY 

THIS IS THE END 

THAT’S IT

IM DEAD

GONE

DECEASED

THEY FREAKING KISSED 

RIGHT THEN AND THERE 

PROPERLY KISSING 

BEFORE TINNGUN 

WHAT 

IS THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENING 

OW I PINCHED MYSELF 

I LITERALLY CANT BELIEVE IT 

“i wont let you kiss first you barstool” HOW ARE THEY SO- GJRBGIKRB

BUT ONCE ISNT ENOUGH 

OH NO, THEY HAVE TO KISS AGAIN 

JUST TO MAKE SURE IM DEAD 

THEY ALREADY STABBED ME A COUPLE TIMES 

THEN THEY KISSED AND THEY SLICED ME IN HALF WITH A REALLY COOL SWORD 

AND NOW THEYRE SLICING MY HEAD OFF JUST TO MAKE SURE IM DEAD 

‘STOP TRYING TO LOOK HANDSOME IDIOT BECAUSE ITS MAKING MY HEART SO WEAK’ I CANT WITH THESE TWO 

I LITERALLY CANT EVEN PROCESS THAT THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED 

SURELY IM DREAMING RIGHT NOW

THERES NO WAY THEY ACTUALLY FREAKING KISSED 

AND TIWPOR RIGHT AFTER??? IT’S TOO MUCH POWER 

AWWWWWW NOOK AND YOOOO

BUT POOR PAT IS COMPLETELY LONELY 

PLS LET PAT NOT BE LONELY FOREVER 

THEY BETTER GIVE PAT SOME HAPPINESS 

NO?? THEYRE JUST GONNA CHANGE THE SCENE LIKE THAT??? OKAY THEN???????? 

no but why wasnt tiwporpat an option 

they couldve gone down the polyamory route 

as much as i love poking fun at pat being lonely, i want him to be happy, and tiwporpat makes sense 

(i must also say that patjorn also makes sense and i wouldnt have been mad if they went down the tiwporpat route or the patjorn route. theyre both amazing. but no, they went with pat is lonely forever and its really freaking sad. thanks guys.) 

OH TINNGUN POOL SCENE 

POOL SCENE NUMBER... IDEK AT THIS POINT 

they should kiss btw 

GUN WROTE #MYSCHOOLPRESIDENT ON TINN’S SHIRT AND TINN WROTE ‘APPROVED BY THE SCHOOL PRESIDENT’ ON GUN’S SHIRT AND ITS SO FREAKING PERFECT 

IT COMES FULL CIRCLE SO BEAUTIFULLY 

THEY LITERALLY COULDNT HAVE WRITTEN ANYTHING GREATER 

I FREAKING LOVE THIS SHOW 

tinngun still have not kissed 

NO PLS I CANT TAKE IT WITH THE HEARTFELT SPEECHES 

HOW DO YOU CRY SILENTLY 

NO THEYRE PLAYING ONE LAST SONG TOGETHER 

STUFF YOU 

I LITERALLY DONT KNOW IF IVE EVER CRIED HARDER THAN I DID WHILE WATCHING THAT FREAKING FINAL SONG 

tinn’s father is so neurodivergent i love him 

OMG GUN IS ACTUALLY SITTING AT THEIR TABLE AND HAVING A MEAL WITH THEM 

IT’S NOT IMAGINARY GUN 

IT’S REAL GUN 

THIS IS CRAZY 

PFFFFFFT TINN’S DAD HELPED HIM WRITE THE SONG FOR GUN 

THAT’S FREAKING HILARIOUS 

OH MY GOSH THEYRE ABOUT TO KISS- 

darn you gun and your bloody hand in the way 

too many times 

this has happened far too many times 

just kiss 

please

YES 

GOOD 

EXCELLENT 

but also soundwin did it first 

ANYWAY THAT WAS PERFECT 

OH MY GOSH 

IM NOT OKAY 

(the funniest thing about me constantly saying ‘im dying’ or ‘im dead’ is that my fitbit hasnt been able to pick up on my heartrate for literally hours. like, since i started watching the episode. it just stopped working. and if your heart isnt beating, you’re quite literally dead.) 

final thoughts / main takeaways from that episode (and therefore the whole show) 

tinngun are very cute 

tinngun are patpran variants (we already knew this but still) 

tiwpor havent been dating the whole time but there was definite crushing for a very long time 

pat is sad and lonely and pls let there be tiwporpat or patjorn at some point in the future 

we need a sequel please and thank you 

soundwin are freaking perfect 

this show is perfection 

im mentally ill 

that teacher sucks 

tinn’s dad is neurodivergent and i love him 

photjanee is amazing and awesome and i love her 

gim is the greatest mother and i love her 

i love all of these characters way too much  and, last but not least, 

soundwin did it first. 

[mandalhoerian]

Hey, I don't know if anyone's mentioned this to you before, but I just wanted to say making Vera's color scheme pink (with black) totally makes her super recognizable and iconic, you know? It's a genius character design choice to me because in all of Resident Evil, there's no other character that's "pink," so she really stands out in a fresh way. It's like you filled a gap we didn't even realize was there. Plus, she's got that whole tech vibe going on, which is so cool because she stands out from all the scientists and badass fighters dealing with bioterrorism. I just think she's awesome and the thought put into her design is top-notch! I miss her sm I hope you update soon <3

RAHHHHH ANON KICKING MY FEET GIGGLING THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ?????? I FEEL SO VALIDATED AHAHAHAH LIKE YES MY EFFORT HAS BEEN NOTICED BAAHAHAH

You didn't ask for this at all but I'm going to ramble ANYWAY. SO

I was extremely particular about making her "recognizable" as you say, like memorable. Because good god RE has so many good female characters who are so unique, and color-coded somehow, honest to god I was like "WHAT IS LEFT IN THIS UNIVERSE I DONT KNOW HOW TO MAKE A DISTINCTIVE OC WHAT AM I GONNA DO"

----- like, I had a friend who knows extremely early drafts of her, and embarrassingly she was a corrupt, snobby, scope-hungry journalist redhead who wore red and dressed like veronica lodge from riverdale 🙃🤐

and then she was korean for a while (this fell after i discovered ashiemochi's so-ah). and then turkish. and then the turkish journalist thing fell AS WELL because i discovered other journalist ocs on tumblr paired with leon and a turkish journalist on wattpad and i was like "oh my god fuck i am scrapping everything" (this idea later got recycled in moth to a flame)

first drafts are absolute hell, as you can see.

i actually dont remember how i got the pink idea. im also like. obsessed with color? i guess. i like to categorize so it's always fascinating when a character/thing is associated with a color/symbol/animal/ and owns it -- like, the girlies in RE -- they made Ashley orange-yellow, sheva purple (kinda? its not as prominent as the others), rebecca pistachio green, alex wesker white, ada cherry red, claire apple red and it just HITS, it could just be a me-thing though. It falls apart at one pointt I know, because how many characters can you color code hahahah (and they didnt even try with the men. they're shades of blue, all of them. or black. bo-ring. they went with the hair and body type for them while the girls got the colors kinda DDJSKDS) -- so take it with a grain of salt, it's just that I love color as a starting and developing point and I cant overgrow it 😭

but like. interestingly there was no pink pink character like you said — apart from moira burton that is who has it in like the hood of her jacket and bracelet and nowhere else, though she is a minor character? i guess in a zombie game franchise marketed to boys majorly in earlier years, they wouldn't really prefer pink LMAO so it was easier to bubblegum chainsaw an OC in since that was a deliberately left alone concept. I was like "mine now" and put a spin to it!!!!! I love that she's just black-pink. It's her whole thing. Such a satisfying thing to me to work with

I'm glad you think highly of this, the opportunity was ripe for the taking and I just went for it! Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts with me!1!!!💕💕💕

EDIT: I FORGOT THE TECH THING YOU SAID IM SORRY. Yeah that was on purpose to further establish her to be her own thing as well. Too much "she's not like the other girls" vibes here AND ITS WORRYING but no she is just like the other girls and is proud of it. I just wanted to explore other occupations DJSDHSJSJKD Legit it started out as wanting to branch out and experimenting how I could incorporate it to RE's story!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN I WANT TO KISS YOU CONSENSUALLY ON THE FOREHEAD THIS ASK MADE MY DAY IM WORKING ON THE NEW CHAPTER CURRENTLY!! Hopefully it will be out this month, you know how long the chapters can get 😭

[tempusart394]

Does anyone else hate Christmas?

And I do mean HATE.

Every year I become intolerable before Christmas, and am only now starting to realize why.

As a kid I hated going to church - the Lutheran Church, the Anglican Church, the Baptist Church, ...and BACK to the Lutheran Church (my Dad was in Bible College at the time so we went to a lot of fucking church) over the span of only TWO DAYS.

Sunday service the week of Christmas

Christmas Eve services - one at the Lutheran, one at the Baptist

Christmas Day services - morning at Anglican, evening at Baptist, midnight mass at Lutheran

Jesus fucking Christ how many fucking services are you going to force upon a small child in uncomfortable shoes, a scratchy dress, and a ridiculous hair style?????

Then I got older, and things changed. I refused to go to church. And things did get better for a while - even though I was still the closeted queer kid of a Bible thumping pastor - but then began a new problem. I was slowly becoming emotionally mature, and realized some of my mental health issues came from having to adapt to being raised by emotionally immature people. This came out in full force during Christmas. I won't go into some great sob story, but the gist of it is - planning Christmas, shopping, and HAVING TO BE HAPPY around people who treated you like shit and are emotional succubi, somehow became my problem. Now dont get me wrong, my family did make the food and hosted etc., but the emotional and mental load was completely shoved onto me. When Mom took me shopping for gifts, I had to decide WHAT was being bought for EVERYONE (she never has any ideas but is more than giddy to shut down and judge every idea that I have). I had to wrap all the gifts, otherwise I didn't get done. I had to decorate, otherwise it didnt get done. And then what does everyone have the audacity to say? 'It could have been better' - THOSE FUCKING BITCHES. I WAS AN INTROVERTED QUEER TEENAGER WITH PTSD AND BIPOLAR DISORDER.

*deep breath*

*in through the nose*

*out through the mouth*

I get that THEY enjoy Christmas. I really do! And I don't want to take it away or diminish it in any way for them. So I plaster a smile on my face until it hurts and make disgusting small talk and don't let them see how much pain I'm in. I'm just so sick and tired of the hypocrisy, and gaslighting, and how my very broken very dysfunctional family suddenly all just adore one another for the sake of getting presents and chewing on an over cooked bland bird and mashed potatoes for supper.

As an adult I am VERY vocal about how I feel about the holidays. I ask for patience and forgiveness. I do everything I can to make them feel better about my discomfort.

I know I'm being selfish. I know I'm ruining the joy of Christmas. Yeah I got it, thanks. I'm just so tired of apologizing for shit that I actually don't feel bad about at all.

I want Chinese food. Or pasta with shrimp. I want stocking stuffers and not big presents. I want pretty twinkly lights around the house and massive snowflakes falling outside. I want to curl up on the couch and watch a movie (one that's not about an annoying white woman going back to her home town and trying to save the family bakery while falling in love with a man with a cardboard cut-out personality) like an awesome murder mystery or the doctor who holiday special.

I love winter. I love the snow, and the holiday decor, and the stunning city lights.

It feels so stupid and hopeless to say it, but I just wish that Christmas could be fun. Am I alone in this?

[soul-dwelling]

Maybe I'm being premature, but I'm at the Inca arc right now but I kinda suspect that the rot has already started. With the whole Shinra getting possesed by Amaterasu thing it somehow kinda came out and was resolved randomly. Ofocurse I get it - its about resentment of being lied to and feeling like your mission was pointless, despair and rage all that but somehow, I dont know it didnt feel compeling, like a worse Soul in Ukraine getting mad from the black spheres (but that also kinda sucked)

…Oh, wow, I didn’t think of that: Shinra’s possession mirroring Soul’s Black Blood madness.  That’s good--that’s a really good observation. 

It also reinforces what I didn’t like about Fire Force. 

(Spoiler warning for Fire Force, as well as for Jujutsu Kaisen and My Hero Academia.)

If it and Soul Eater were completely different works, I would not mind the structure: if it worked in Soul Eater for a story beat, yes, repeat it in Fire Force, that’s fine, that’s part of Ohkubo’s trademark style, go for it, that’s awesome. 

But that’s not what happened. This was a Soul Eater prequel. And at the end of Fire Force, we see the Evangelist reduced to a Kishin-like entity, with the eyes, too, that Shinra kicks away. So, the Evangelist had influence over Amaterasu (the First Pillar), who then had influence over Shinra, who has the same mad smile that the Kishin’s Madness Wavelength produced. 

This is no longer Ohkubo’s trademark--this is now creating an origin story for Madness in Soul Eater, and this worldbuilding sucks, I hate it, I don’t like it, can we go back to pretending this wasn’t a prequel so we can stick to previously established canon and whatever headcanon fans came up with to have this make sense? 

But that’s my rant: let me get back to your ask. 

I get that Amaterasu possessing Shinra seems like it comes out of nowhere. 

Maybe that bothers me less because I feel like the manga later explains this clearly enough--even if I’m not a big fan of the results (see the prequel nonsense and origin story for the Kishin’s Madness Wavelength). 

But by this point, the negative energy around Amaterasu is getting stronger, even our protagonist Shinra is having a hard time dealing with all of this shit, he has a momentary lapse, it affects him, he falls under the Evangelist’s sway via Amaterasu. 

And if this problem hadn’t corrected itself quickly…I don’t know if I would have liked it. Without spoiling too much, look at Jujutsu Kaisen right now. I hate where that manga is right now--because (albeit already being a grim series) it just got so much darker, because the new problem (someone has a lapse, they get possessed, they now do something awful) is making things get so much worse. It is grimdark enough that I don’t feel engaged in still reading. My Hero Academia has that same problem going on: as things just keep getting worse, why should I feel invested, when I can just skip to later in the story when things get better--or when they are going to get worse, making my investment also the more pointless? 

So, having Arthur saving Shinra that abruptly? It’s not the most mature storytelling, but it solves the problem with less angst. Maybe the failure to let that angst simmer robs some character depth: this should be a moment to set up that big friendship (romance?) between Arthur and Shinra that gives us the ending--and I don’t feel it, I have never felt like Arthur and Shinra ever got to a point of having anything beyond hostility towards each other, the story never did anything to make me think these two were actually really good friends. This moment with Amaterasu should have solidified that friendship / romance / whatever, and just did not work for me. 

You point out that, while you get the moment--Shinra went through a lot of shit, now he gets possessed by Amaterasu--it doesn’t connect emotionally or feel compelling. I think I get that, I think I agree with you. Maybe it would have worked better for me if it felt like Ohkubo was willing to engage with how these moments would screw you up. 

It’s why, when it happens again, when later in the story Shinra is possessed by his doppel, and his doppel does awful things with his body, Shinra is surprisingly well-adjusted to getting over this awful trauma. It is too fast, it doesn’t take the trauma seriously enough, it doesn’t show that living after trauma has its challenges--it’s too clean, too shonen, too focused on rushing to an action-packed ending. 

Let Shinra cry it out over the shit he has gone through. Instead, it’s just rage without showing greater complexity to those feelings. 

[apompkwrites]

I just got. Maybe a really funny/amusing idea. Epel somehow getting a crush on a Shoe(I can’t spell so I’m just saying shoe(Vil’s lady name))!sibling, BUT… the twist(hehe pun) is that this sibling mainly does stunt double work.

So. Maybe. Uh. Epel comes across StuntDoubleShoe!Name practicing, idk, parkour or practicing their calls and rolls or something like that. And he’s just. Star struck. Maybe Rook pops up out of nowhere and asks Epel what thinks of “âme du risque” or “soul of risk”(I’m using google translate don’t hurt meh pls ;-;) and Epel says he thinks they’re so awesome and cool and he wishes Vil would let him do stuff like that. Then maybe Rook says something about StuntDoubleShoe!Name’s ability to stay graceful and have an air of elegance and power, just as goes in the family name. Maybe Epel is curious about the family name or maybe Rook straight up says that Vil goes to his sibling to help him train for movies that require more action or to stay in shape. Epel record scratch noise. Work flips out. Maybe Rook teases how he thought Epel knew that they were the sibling of Vil.

Anyways. Epel being so. Uh. Epel. At the news. And he’s so conflicted on how to feel about Vil’s sibling(we need a shorter name for them. I tried to stay relatively gender neutral with Rook’s French nickname for them) and how they seem so cool and bad*ss(I don’t curse but don’t care if others do) but at the same time they’re related to prissy stuck up Vil. Does Vil notice? Maybe. Does Vil try and bribe Epel with him(Vil) mentioning him(Epel) to his(Vil) sibling? I dunno!

Anyways. This was a random idea I got. Feel free to angst-ify it. And give the stunt shoe a shorter “name”

- Heartbeat Anon

hmhmhm how to make this angsty,,,

okok first love the idea of lil schoenheit being a stunt double? like, maybe they were cast alongside vil in the early days before vil decided to do his own stunts :OO

i can imagine stunt!schoenheit being used to being in vil’s shadow? because oftentimes people dont acknowledge the stunt double and instead fawn over the main actor. so maybe when vil mentions epel to them, theyre smitten.

someone actually noticed them for them! he didnt see them as a body double for their brother. he saw them as their own person.

but then the dread kicks in. what if he starts to see them as their brother? what if, the more they get to know each other, he sees them as vil and starts to hate them?

maybe its not worth getting attached so soon…

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for Friends to Lovers with Rodrick Heffley

Rodrick Heffley x reader

warnings: mentions of a bad home life

a/n: YALL I FUVKING DID IT AND IM TERRIFIED OF THE REPERCUSSIONS

prompt: y/n and rodrick have been friends for a long time, so long boundaries seem to be blurred

you’ve actually known rodrick since elementary school

it all started when he asked you to join his band

“i can play drums, you can play the tambourine because that’s the only other instrument i have! it’ll be wicked!”

your band lasted a week and only had one gig, it was for rodrick’s parents

who LOVED you by the way

they somehow permitted you to sleepover almost every other day, you practically lived at their house

FOR YEARS you did this

terrorizing lil greg

“what’s he gonna do, pee his diaper?”

“rodrick!!!”

always trick or treating together, exchanging candy when you got back go his house (or occasionally yours)

you guys didnt like hanging at your house, your parents were kind of....a lot to handle

starting middle school together, wreaking havoc on all the teachers

rodrick did it to impress you, according to mr. and mrs. heffley

but he’d give you a stupid little smirk from across the classroom after he got scolded so you believed them

whenever anyone gave you shit at school, rodrick wouldn’t hesitate to step in and show them who’s boss

“rodrick, you’re gonna get detention again!”

“yeah, well, i’m not gonna let them be mean to you”

you went to his house after school most days, sometimes you’d get there first while he was in detention

mrs. heffley had after school snacks

“y/n, why don’t you play some video games with greg while you wait for rodrick to get home?”

playing wii sports with greg, who cried when you won

you also had time to do homework while you waited, rodrick usually copied afterwards

when rodrick came home, he’d drag you to the garage to show you his drum skills

he hit himself in the head with his drumstick

“ooh, that’s gonna leave a mark”

next step was high school, which was a weird step up

but you guys had each other

you still spent most nights at the heffley residence, but you had to sleep on the couch instead of on the floor in the attic (aka rodricks lair)

“you two are growing up, so we think it’s best that you don’t sleep in the same room together, right?”

rodrick emptied one of his drawers for you to put your clothes in

but you still end up stealing his clothes half the time

“i wish i could be mad, but you wear all of my clothes better than me”

subconsciously doing couple-y things without realizing it

like rodrick would pull you closer to him when you two were together, put his arm around you, give you his jacket, etc

“are you guys serious? you’ve got to be dating!” -everyone

“rodrick, when are you and y/n going to get together?” -mr. and mrs. heffley

the answer was always the same: “we’re just friendssssss”

watching his band practice and cheering him on no matter what

you’re his guest vocals ☺️

when he got the van, it was a whole new world for you guys

you could go out wherever whenever

(with parent approval usually)

“wanna go ride around for a little while? hit a gas station and get a bunch of candy?”

“do you even have to ask?”

watching scary movies in his room

“platonic” cuddling in his bed

stuffing your face in the crook of his neck during scary scenes

“come on, y/n! it’s not that bad!”

him having to hold onto you for comfort so you’d keep watching with him

sometimes falling asleep together and his mom or dad coming to check on you later

“alright, time for bed! y/n, you get your usual couch...”

laughing your ass off at rodrick when he messes with greg

manny loves you, sometimes rodrick is jealous of the attention you give to his baby brother instead of him

rodrick scooping you up in his arms when you least expect it, never fails to make you scream

“hey there, hot stuff”

“you’re impossible!”

roller skating together, he held your hand the whole time bc he was worried you’d fall

his friends ENDLESSLY taunt him over your relationship

when he makes plans with others, he always says “let me ask y/n first” which just SENDS his friends oh my god

“dude, that’s your s/o!”

“no, they’re not! shut up!”

hating being apart a lot its so stressful

sometimes you’d have a pretty hard time at home and show up to his house at odd hours, but you were always welcome

you have your own key

“hey, what’s wrong?”

“my parents...they’re just the worst”

rodrick knows its bad when you start crying

he took you up to his room and played some music (quietly as not to wake the house)

you laid on top of him while he rubbed your back and told you that he was there for you

dozing off on him, as per usual

dude, the amount of pictures you have? astronomical

you playing his drums, the two of you going 🤘, an actual nice picture of you guys, him carrying you on his back, kiddos on your first day of school by year, you kissing his cheek “platonically”

comforting him when he was having his own hard times, whether it be an argument with his parents/greg, difficulties with musical inspiration, or anything else

“come here, you need a hug”

“i need several”

“you’ll get ‘em”

talent show! talent show! talent show!

you completely cussed out the rest of his band before they went on bc they had the audacity to replace him

but greg managed to save the day

“greg, my dude, give me a high five, that was awesome”

he wasn’t actually half bad but like, his mom kinda stole the show

more joyrides in the van

absolutely BLASTING the music in there while you and rodrick sat on the floor in the back and ate the taco bell you’d just picked up

“dude, you gotta try my potato griller, it’s a godsend”

“okay, but try this slushie, its so good. i mean, not as good as a 7-eleven slushie, but it’s up there”

finishing your food and laying in the van for another hour bc you just loved each other’s company

but after sitting together alone for so long, you felt like there was something left to do, what was it?

you and rodrick were moving around a bunch and ended up next to each other sitting against the wall of the van

you looked over at each other and hesitated before leaning in to kiss

and you guys kissed for a while

okay, so, you made out on the floor of his van with led zeppelin playing in the background

✨magical✨

it wasn’t awkward or anything, just long overdue

okay it was a little awkward actually

“well, that was” *clears throat* “that was cool or whatever”

“yeah...wanna do it again?”

“oh, for sure”

not like it was a surprise to anyone when you announced you were FINALLY dating

“wait, you guys just started dating? i thought you’d been together for like, at least 5 years” -mr. heffley

“this is great! obviously, we’ll need to set up some boundaries so that everyone is comfortable and safe, but yay for young love!” -mrs. heffley

“gross” -greg

mrs. heffley wrote a column in the newspaper about you titled “my teenage son’s fantastic significant other”

not much changed after you and rodrick got together, just kissing, “i love you’s” and more teasing from friends and school faculty

“we were all rooting for you two, actually!” -the teachers

summer vacation with him

it was always SWEET

going to the pool together, he’d usually lay out on the chairs with you but you were able to drag him into the pool a few times

“come onnnn, it’ll be funnnn”

“you’re lucky you’re cute”

hugs from behind!!! kisses on the top of ur head!!!!

PROM AH HAH HAH

seeing rodrick in a tux was too funny for you, you almost couldn’t stop laughing (especially at the eyeliner he insisted on wearing)

but he just couldn’t stop staring at you

“rodrick!”

“what?! you’re stunning!”

honestly, prom wasn’t all it was cracked up to be

you danced like maniacs for a few songs and ended up ditching early on

but you did end up renting a bunch of movies and getting tonssss of snacks and changing into pajamas as soon as you got to his house

im talking popcorn, candy bars, ice cream, cans of pop, chips, chicken nuggets and so on

and also passing out on each other

“i think i love you a little more, i didn’t know that was possible”

“i have that effect on people”

he makes u breakfast before his mom gets the chance though

“pancakes? for me?”

“i put chocolate chips in them too, you’re gonna love them”

(they were a lil bit burned, still good tho)

you guys really did just spot on get each other

okay but i know you also roast each other sometimes so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

relationship goals, honestly

fresh outta ideas 🤠 goodnight

[tsukishimaenthusiast]

Heyo! Can I request an imagine of Bokuto with a shy girlfriend and how they meet? Thanks

bokuto w/ a shy girlfriend

part 2: here

you were walking through the aisles of a random convenience store, trying to find your favorite snack. when you were finally in the right section, you squatted down to search for your snack. “hey, akaashi! you gotta try these! i got them last week and they’re so good!” you turned around to see a tall, muscular man with spiked up hair standing behind you with a slightly smaller guy next to him. when did they even get behind you? the bigger guy squatted down next to you and grabbed the same snack you were looking for. “excuse me, i just want to grab one of these,” he said with a smile. honestly, when you first saw him, he was kind of intimidating, but his smile softened him up. you quickly moved your hand out of his way, trying to avoid eye contact. you watched them as they walked up to the cashier and read the back of their jackets.. “fukurodani? not too far from here… they must play on a sports team or something,” you thought to yourself.

a couple weeks have passed since you saw those two guys at the convenience store. they were both good looking, but there was something about the boy with the spiked up hair that intrigued you. you must’ve been caught in your thoughts because you soon heard your friend shout, “hey, y/n! did you hear me?” you snapped out of your trance. “what? no, sorry,” you replied. “i asked if you wanted to come to a volleyball game with me later this week. my brother has a game but i don’t want to go alone! will you come?” you had nothing better to do so you told your friend yes.

you and your friend sat in the bleachers, waiting for the two teams to come out. you zoned out for a bit but when you brought your attention to the court again, you were shocked by the volleyball team in front of you. “fukurodani!???”, you hadn’t even realized you said it aloud. “yea… they’re a really good team…. you see that guy with the two-toned hair? that’s bokuto koutaro, their ace. he’s also in the top five in the country!” you couldn’t believe your eyes or ears. there he was, the guy from the convenience store! you’d never thought you’d see him again. “that’s the guy,” you told your friend. “really!? why didn’t you said he had spiky, dyed hair, y/n!!??! we could’ve discovered who he was a lot sooner!” you shrugged. “i dont know, it didnt seem that important.” the game would be starting soon so you guys decided to put the conversation on hold.

as you were watching the game, you understood why bokuto was the ace. every hit he made was incredible! whether it was a line shot or a diagonal shot, each one was powerful and practically scored a point for fukurodani every time. not to mention that the other boy that was with bokuto that day, akaashi, was an amazing setter. during the second set, bokuto messed up one of his line shots and it went out of bounds. it didn’t do too much damage for the team, but for some reason bokuto was sulking. he made this really odd face. was he sad? angry? you couldn’t tell. honestly, it was a little comical. fukurodani’s coach called a time out and akaashi spoke to bokuto. “maybe he’s trying to cheer him up? get his head back in the game or something..”, your friend suggested.

soon enough, the game went back into play. bokuto was still on the court, but akaashi wasn’t setting the ball to him. this went on for a couple more rallies until bokuto began getting antsy. akaashi finally set the ball to him and bokuto scored another point. wow, he was still on fire even after not being able to touch the ball for a while. he truly was the ace of the team.

unfortunately, for you friend’s brother, fukurodani won. you kept telling your friend how impressed you were by bokuto’s skills on the court, though. “then why don’t you go and tell him before we leave?” you felt your face heat up. “you know i could never do that! i’m too shy…” your friend just shrugged their shoulders as you guys began to leave the bleachers. you and your friend met up with their brother and the rest of his team. they were having a quick overview of how the game went down. you noticed fukurodani coming into your field of view. “y/n!! now’s your chance! go compliment him!” before you could even argue, your friend pushed you into bokuto. he turned around and looked down at you with a smile. “hey! are you okay??” you quickly looked away to avoid eye contact. “uhh s-sorry. yea i’m fine! i-i just… i just wanted to say that you’re an amazing volleyball player,” you said with low confidence. bokuto was already smiling but you could've sworn his smile got ten times bigger. “wow!! thank you.. uhm.. thank you- what’s your name?” “y/n,” you replied. “thank you, y/n!”, he said enthusiastically. you felt a slight blush appear on your face and bokuto developed a soft look in his eyes. you guys were awkwardly smiling at each other until you heard you friend shout, “y/n, we’re leaving now!” you excused yourself and headed towards your friend but decided to look back for a quick second. bokuto was watching you exit the building and you couldn’t help but feel a bit giddy.

a few days have passed since the volleyball game. like when you first saw him, you wondered if you’d ever see bokuto again. you didn’t want to be weird and show up to his volleyball games, you didn’t even really know him that well.. you got a notification on your phone so you decided to see what it was. a friend request? from who? “bokutokoutaro_4” was the username. bokuto?? how did he even find your account? you decided to keep your questions to yourself and let him follow you. you followed him back and looked through his account. all pictures of him in his volleyball uniform and with his friends. you received a message from him about five minutes later. “hey y/n, it’s bokuto. do you think i can get your number?... just so it’s easier to text.” he was really straightforward and honest, but you kinda liked it. plus, everything was easier over text for you.. there was less confrontation. you gave him your number and received a text message a minute later. “hey it’s bokuto!” you smiled to yourself, “hi :)” you replied back. you decided to be ballsy for a minute and texted him again “i’m just curious, how did you find my account? i only told you my first name so i just think it’s kinda cool how you found me so quickly ahah.” you decided to send the text right away before you could hesitate. his response took awhile to come in. “oh god i hope you don’t find me weird.. but when you complimented me at the game, you seemed so shy and cute!! you felt butterflies in your stomach as you read the text. you guys ended up texting for the rest of the night.

a couple weeks have gone by since you and bokuto started texting. some of the conversations were sporadic. it was either because he was too busy or you were too busy. you had just gotten done taking a shower and put on your pjs when you heard your phone start to ring. you checked to see who was calling you.. it was bokuto. you started to panic. why was he calling you? you guys never spoke over the phone before. you don’t know why, but you answered the phone anyways. “hello?” “hey y/n! did i catch you at a bad time? anyways, i know it’s short notice but i just found out i don’t have practice tomorrow. want to meet up and hang out somewhere?” you froze. “sure.” wait what? you didn’t even think before your answer. “awesome! i’ll text you where to meet me later tonight,” and he hung up after that sentence. you stood there with your phone in your hand. “what did i just get myself into?”, you asked yourself, sighing.

you woke up the next morning and got ready to see bokuto. you guys were going to meet up at a cafe in the morning and walk around tokyo afterwards. you decided to keep the makeup light and wear something cute, but comfortable. on your way to the cafe, you felt your nerves build up. you prayed to the gods that you wouldn’t be too shy or awkward around him. you noticed bokuto standing outside the cafe, waving at you. you greeted each other and went inside. bokuto ordered two lattes for you guys and refused to let you pay. when you were chatting with him, you realized that you didn’t feel so nervous talking to him. there was something about him that made you feel comfortable and safe.

after the two of you finished your lattes, you roamed the streets of tokyo. you walked into random shops and tried on accessories. somehow, bokuto convinced you to take a selfie with him while you guys both wore fedoras. it was weird, but funny. you guys stayed out for a couple of hours and bokuto ended up buying some street food for you guys so you wouldn’t go home hungry. after finishing the quick meal, he insisted on taking you home. you had to take a bus in order to get your house. when bokuto sat next to you, you felt a little timid. you just spent hours with him, though, so you weren’t sure why. maybe it was the close proximity. bokuto began to speak up, “hey y/n? can i tell you something?” you nodded at him. “when you came up to me at the game, i recognized you from somewhere else…the convenience store. you picked out the same snack as me. and you were just so .. beautiful, i couldn’t help but memorize your features. so when you came up to me at the game, i knew it had to mean something cause i never thought i’d see you again...” you were completely flustered and his confession made you melt inside. he noticed you seemed a bit taken off guard. “please don’t weirded out or embarrassed, i just had to tell you!” he added quickly. “no it’s okay, bokuto. i appreciate you telling me,” you muttered. although you thought and felt the exact same things about him, you decided to just keep it to yourself.

after the bus ride, you finally arrived at your house. bokuto walked you up to your front door. “thanks for hanging out with me today, y/n! i had a lot of fun.” you smiled up at him. “no, thank you for inviting me!” bokuto paused for a moment before leaning in to hug you. he wrapped his huge arms around you and held you in his embrace. he began to slowly pull away but didn’t do so entirely. he seemed hesitant, but he spoke up, “i really want to kiss you right now… c-can i kiss you?” you felt your face heat up. he stared at you, waiting for your consent. you licked your lips lightly and nodded at him. bokuto slowly cupped your face and brought his lips to yours. you knew he was a strong guy, but he felt so gentle holding your face while kissing you. you couldn’t help but smile at the feeling. he let you go and gave you a smile before stepping away from your front door. as you were about to enter, bokuto shouted, “hey y/n! next time, i’ll take you on a proper date!” you laughed and walked inside your house. you locked the door and rested your head against it. “can’t wait,” you thought to yourself.

y’all i literally wanted to write sm more for this but i felt it was already too long so lmk if u guys want a part2 of like bokutos gf meeting the team or something bc i really wanted to write that LOL

[senoritaanxiety]

Supernatural 15x20 alternate ending.

(One that's actually kinda happy.)

The bunker.

The boys have just come back from a hunt. They put down their duffle bags as they discuss what to have for dinner.

"Oh come on. I'm not eating that vegan crap", Dean says, disgusted.

"It's good for you, Dean. It-", Sam's cut off as Eileen walks into the room. She signs something to Sam and Sam smiles.

"I made dinner", she tells Dean. "It's not vegan", she tells him. Dean's eyes light up. He turns around to Sam and whispers "Never leave her." Sam scoffs, but smiles.

Sam, Dean and Eileen have their dinner and pie for desert, which really makes Dean appreciate Eileen.

(Montage of the boys hunting.

"Agents Kripke and Singer"

"Agents Page and Plant"

"Agents Spears and Aguilera"

"Agents Swift and Perry" ("Really, Dean?" "Shut up, Sam")

"Agents Ackles and Padalecki"

Sometimes, Eileen is there too but she uses her real name. Mostly, she hunts alone.

Cutting off vampires' heads, stabbing werewolves through the heart, exorcising demons, salt and burning bones, killing djinns, witches and all kinds of monsters until..)

"So get this", Sam says as he tells Dean about the monster they're hunting. It's a vampire nest but it's a bigger nest than they've ever seen. Atleast 100 vamps. They were outnumbered.

"I think we should call for backup", Sam says.

"Yeah. You call Eileeen, I'll call Bobby and the others."

All of them arrive and they're discussing strategies. Bobby, Eileen, Charlie, Stevie, Donna, Jody, Claire, among others.

"Remember, this isn't our regular thing. There's way more of them than us. So don't die", Dean says.

The nest.

They're all struggling; bleeding in different places because the nest is just too big. Jody is knocked out on the floor when a vampire comes close and tries to dig it's teeth into her neck. Right at that moment, Dean cuts off it's head. Blood all over Jody's body.

"Suck it, bloodsucker", Dean shouts as 4 more vamps make their way to him. He fights off almost all of them.

Meanwhile, Sam, Eileen and Bobby are cornered by 7 of them. Donna and Claire rescue them by taking out all of them.

While Donna is fighting the leader, her machete is knocked out of her hand. One of the vamps picks it up and makes his way towards Dean, seeing him struggle with the 2 vamps left. Everyone else is too busy to notice this.

Dean is punching and kicking the two vamps when he feels something stab him from behind. He lets out a scream as he falls on his knees, bleeding. Everyone stops. Sam, leaving the vampire, rushes towards his brother. "Dean? Dean? Look at me, hey! Dean?" Sam's eyes are welling up as a vampire comes close to him, getting it's head cut off by Bobby. They're all rushing towards Dean now. Sam and Bobby carry Dean out while the rest of them continue fighting the vampires, to prevent them from following Dean, Sam and Bobby. Dean is doing his "Don't save me, Sammy. Let me go" speech. Sam's not willing to let him go. They put him in the Impala. Bobby drives while Sam and Dean are in the backseat, Sam trying to stop the bleeding. "It's over for me, Sammy. Let me go", Dean says. "No, hey, we'll get you to a hospital, Dean you're gonna be fine", Sam says, reassuring himself more than anyone else. "Just hold on, Dean we're almost there", Bobby says.

They get him to the hospital and into the ICU.

Sam and Eileen are in the hospital waiting room and Sam's barely holding it together. Eileen is holding Sam's hand, stroking it, in an effort to comfort him.

"He'll be fine, Sam. He's been through worse", she says.

"That was.. different. That was Chuck writing our story, you know? He didn't let us die on purpose. But this.. this is real now." Sam is losing hope but he's trying to be positive.

Bobby walks in, head hung low. "What did they say", Sam asks, getting up from his chair, worried. "He's critical. That's all they can say", Bobby says, barely holding it together. The others are there too, waiting in the back.

Sam tells them he's got something to do and goes outside.

"Jack? Can you hear me? I- I know you said you were hands off and I-I know I shouldn't ask you but please, man. I really need you. I really need Cas. Dean, he needs you and Cas. Please, Jack-", Sam's on his knees praying.

"Hello, Sam"

Cas.

"Cas? You- what-"

"I've been with Jack, fixing heaven. I wanted to tell you guys but I didn't know if Dean wanted to see me again after- after what happened."

"What are you talking about? Of course he wanted to see you, Cas. He- You're family. He keeps your trenchcoat in his car, man"

Cas smiles. "I'm sorry. I didnt-"

"Yeah, whatever. Dean's not okay. He's.. He's dying in there and we need your help"

Sam tells Cas what happened.

Just then, Bobby runs out towards Sam and stops all of a sudden when he sees Cas.

"You- you're-"

"Dead. Yes. Jack brought me-"

"And you waited until now?" Bobby's mad. Cas could've prevented this.

"I'm sorry, Bobby. I will explain everything. How's Dean?"

"The doctors says he's stable now. That's what I came out to tell Sam"

"He's- he's stable? That's- that's great. Can we see him?"

"Dean's asking for you", Bobby smiles at Sam.

Sam runs but realises Cas didn't follow him. "Cas? What are you doing? Let's go", he shouts at Cas.

"He asked for you, Sam. You should go"

"He'll be happy to see you, Cas", Sam tells Cas, knowing what Cas was actually afraid of was that Dean wouldn't wanna see him. Cas nods and follows Sam.

"Sam?" Dean says, the word barely coming out of his mouth.

"Dean. Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Awesome", Dean says, struggling to sit up.

"Don't get up, Dean. You'll hurt yourself", Cas comes in behind Sam.

"C-Cas?"

Dean's eyes light up as the words somehow come out of his mouth.

"Hello, Dean"

THE END.

(idk if i should continue this but if you want me to, I'll think of something)

[the-sunshine-dims]

amnesia rewrite! (chapter 6)

ch 1 | ch 2 | ch 3 | ch 4 | ch 5 | ch 7 | ch 8 |

original fic

words: 1692

ao3

contents and warnings: amnesia, deaged Janus, food, fluff, weeping angel mention, pranks, 

____

Patton knew individually both Virgil and Janus were very strong spirits, and he had learned over the past couple weeks that together they were.. well, chaotic, but surely

surely.

It wouldn’t be normal for them to do- well whatever they did, Patton could only guess as roman chased them, covered in a sparkly goop, and yelling a couple of nonsense phrases as well as what Patton could only make out as “undo it!” 

He really hoped it wouldn’t be normal.

Patton pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing to himself, before taking pity on both poor Roman and the flooring which was ever so slowly being fully covered with the goop as well, he loudly coughed to get their attention, having the intended effect of having them all halt in there running, “did you two do this?” He asked in his practiced and patented dad voice, already pretty certain he knew the answer but still asking anyway.

Janus immediately piped up, taking the attention from Virgil who had actually not fully stopped and had kept slowly side-stepping away from roman “No!” He told him insistently, not wanting him or Virgil to get in trouble and have the invite of movie night be rescinded, it was the first time it was calm enough and no one was too busy for one, which meant it was his first movie night, he didn’t want to miss it! still despite his very best attempt it was very very, abundently clear to Patton that he was lying, which wasn’t as big a surprise as Janus wished it would be, after all, he was a very shifty character.

the effort made Patton make sure to be soft with his tone however before he was just about to reply Virgil spoke up to talk to Janus, “dee patt’s smart enough to know we did it- and even if he didn’t would you really wanna not take credit for the awesome prank?” He asked vaguely motioning to Roman who was halfway across the room from him now.

Janus pouted- actually pouted and Patton couldn’t help but silently chuckle to himself, thankfully unnoticed by all other parties, and once he had stopped pouting he just turned around to face patton and immediately looked down to fiddle with his sleeves as he quietly went “okay.. we did, ‘m sorry” he said, focusing his attention on Patton.

“You don’t need to apologize to me, Roman’s the one who’s affected and deserves an apology.” he told him, and speaking of Roman, “Roman when you’re ready the bathroom should be free why don’t you take a shower, it doesn’t appear that the goo was made with just a snap,” Roman sighed loudly before nodding and Patton smiled at him before turning his attention once again to the two chaos bringers “now, you two clean the mess from when he was chasing after you and later you’ll have to help me with movie night preparation, sound relatively Fair?” 

Virgil, Janus, and Roman mumbled a chorus of yes’s, Romans more prominent as he was happy to get some retribution for their crimes. Patton nodded- mostly to himself, “good.” 

It would be days before he ended up admitting to the two that he actually found the prank kind of funny, because by then Roman, while still acting offended by the pure mention of it, everyone could tell that it was purely lighthearted and he was in no way mad.

It would be only hours though until he admitted it was adorable and so very sweet how much Janus had latched and pretty much imprinted onto Virgil, following him around like a little duckling, (and when Virgil was truly busy Roman was a close second, however, it didn’t seem to save him.)

_______

“..Roman why are you sparkly?” 

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” roman grumbled back.

Patton chuckled as he listened to the short-lived conversation of the two from the kitchen, Virgil and Janus had been helping him with prepping everything for the movie night but as making popcorn was the last thing they needed to do (and they and Roman had gotten banned from the kitchen because while one of them had tried to make pasta while waiting for the plain water to heat up it somehow caught on fire) so he let them go, to do what they wanted to do until everyone gathered for the movie.

After a bit he was finally done popping it so he then sifted popcorn into the two bowls, one for just melted butter and salt for Logan and Virgil and one bowl with sugar and melted butter for Roman and himself and maybe Remus if he joined them, and Janus was welcome to both as Patton hadn’t really been able to memorize his favorite yet.

He smiled as walked out, quickly setting the popcorn bowls down onto the coffee table, before happily sitting and leaning into Roman’s side, he hummed quietly to himself as he waited for Virgil to come back down before he noticed that Janus was just standing there, near the tv not really doing something, barely even moving.

He took worry-filled moment to take a breath before just going “hey dee? You wanna sit down kiddo?” And Patting the spot next to him, he didn’t want him to feel like the odd one out and feel too awkward to sit down, so he wanted to offer a clear invitation just incase, logan had said he occasionally needed that.

Janus glanced at Patton momentarily, before shaking his head insistently “no, waiting,” He explained, well it might’ve been explaining to him but it gave much more questions than answers, and honestly it was kind of scaring Patton especially as he immediately went back to staring at a specific spot, and a long while back Virgil had introduced him to what weeping angels were, so now he was scared to look away when his kiddos stared at either him or a very specific spot that didn’t ever vary for a prolonged time.

After a bit Virgil came down and sat right next to Logan, who had been silently reading a book against the armrest,

Then the moment Virgil sat down and everybody got situated- not even a second later, Janus ran full force at the couch and threw himself onto them, eliciting a variety of startled yelps and shrieks from them, and after a moment of him just happily using all of theirs legs as pillows as they remained completely stunned, Roman, Logan, and Paton just started to make noises of both bewilderment and dramatic alarm, however, the former was more of Romans doing, despite the only Part of Janus that was even touching him was his arms, extended like a stretching cat, though honestly despite the earlier prank Patton felt like if it had been anyone else and not Janus who had done that Roman would make much more fanfare about the throwing themself at them at all, Patton smiled to himself at the notion before grabbing the remote and stretching to hand it to Logan, absentmindedly starting to card his fingers through Janus’s hair.

Janus smiled contently as he got comfortable, happy with just being so close to his family. 

_______

It had been maybe two and a half movies before Patton looked around, about to tell them another movie-based pun before he realized that They all had fallen fast asleep, Roman’s head lulled to the side and leaning on him much more than patton realized, Virgil cuddling Logan closely, and Janus holding patton’s arm captive, close to his chest, Patton barely suppressed an adoring coo with just how adorable the scene was before he realized that one of them wasn’t asleep, though he wasn’t that far away from it.

He looked over to focus more on Logan, who was trying so hard to watch the movie, blinking his eyes open after they started drooping more than three times in a single minute. 

Patton smiled fondly before quietly going “lo, dear, you should go to sleep,”

Logan paused as he processed his words before he gave Patton a sheepish- and very groggy- smile, then he looked down to his lap, doing his best to avoid eye contact, and Patton realized a very important thing as Logan mumbled “‘mm don’ wanna move,” because while Virgil was very cuddly currently, Logan was equally cuddly, and he appeared very content to be so.

Patton chuckled softly as he understood, before going to shake his head lovingly, “lo-lo you don’t have to go upstairs to go to bed, you can just go to sleep in the cuddle pile with us, I was just saying if you're sleepy it’d be good to go to sleep.”

Logan made a small little “oh” sound, making it abundantly obvious even if it wasnt already that he was too tired to of even considered that, before grinning so brightly and so groggily and happily collapsing into Virgil’s chest.

And Patton couldn’t see exactly but he wouldn’t be surprised if Logan instantly fell asleep, he gave a small chuckle before doing his best to cover everybody with the blankets they had gradually grabbed and brought over to the couch to make sure no one got cold in the middle of the night.

After he was done he grabbed the remote from where Logan had put it and turned the tv off, soon continuing to card his fingers through Janus’s hair with his non-stolen hand.

And as Janus just melted even more at the contact Patton’s heart just melted once. 

It didnt take long for patton to start getting drowsy now that he didnt have something to pay attention to and soon Janus and Patton started to Have incoherent conversations, Patton didn't even know if he had partially awoken or if it was just mid-sleep mumbles, but it didn't matter because he wasn’t even forming real or coherent words either, suddenly too tired to even realize it.

And not long after he could only yawn as he tried to keep his eyes open, before just collapsing against Roman’s shoulder and being the final one to quickly doze off.

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.