#really am just curious what the tumblr circle likes to play

[waitmyturtles]

Okie-dokes: I'm very late to reporting on Dangerous Romance, episode 3, and listen -- listen. A lot of you know I'm in a compromised life state at the moment, --

(I'M MOVING. HOW. IN THE HELL. DO I OWN. SO MUCH. JUST. FUCKING SHIT. HOW DID I FIT SO MUCH SHIT INTO THIS PLACE THAT I AM LEAVING. OH MY GODDAMN WHAT THE FUCK. LET ME BECOME A MONK AND GIVE UP ALL THIS CRAP.)

-- yes, compromised life state, lol, and can't give too much thought to good meta at the moment. (I had to pause Not Me for the Old GMMTV Challenge because even just three episodes in, I knew it was SO GOOD that it deserves my undivided attention.)

So, yeah, brain is out of service at the moment, and then we have THIS episode of Dangerous Romance, and let me just note: y'all, Dangerous Romance was trending on Tumblr even through Only Friends Saturday last weekend (with Only Friends NOT trending, mind you). DR is clearly serving something (.....sigh, ships) that OF is not giving the fandom girlies, and man, did DR just lay it on THICK this week, huh?

I will admit. I'm a touch bummed. I LOVE PERTH AND CHIMON. I LOOOOOVVVVE THEM, YER HONORESSES! UNABASHEDLY. Yes, I love their faces. I DO, NO SHAME. I love their acting, too! I love them, like ::waves hands in circles:: all of it, all of them. I was hoping they'd chomp into a meatier show.

This is not that show. The puppy music, the reeeeeally fast swings into sympathy and "oh, you're my tutor now, bro, and I will spill all my feelings to you," IN ENGLISH AND KOREAN -- and just a touch of a class division conversation by way of Kang homey buying Sailom homey an extra dinner to-go. Sailom is now Kang's... confidante? Kang wants to make someone, anyone, proud, and it looks like Sailom is the guy.

I mean, this episode was all over the place, but....

Forgive me, meta angels, because this is EXACTLY what I need right now, omg. I'm mentally done, I'm toast! Not to say that I'm not going to enjoy Only Friends tomorrow! I am going to totally eat OF up.

But I will ROBUSTLY ADMIT to ALSO being okay with PerthChimon fan service at the moment. Unfortunately for any of my hopes of them being in a more dramatically complicated series: they still have hilarious chemistry. They're actual real bros in real life (Papang smh lol). They're clearly having fun doing this together, like OhmPerth in Double Savage. Chimon's facial expressions are outta control (that look on his face when Perth/Kang accelerated the bike? I cackled).

This is fluff! As @lurkingshan noted -- a recalibration of expectations is in order for this show. I'm taking this show right now as 100% fan service from my PerthChimon wub woobies. Perth and Chimon (and really, the co-director of this show, Lit Phadung of SOTUS and SOTUS S) -- these dudes know the score. Perth and Chimon have been around for a minute. You need two dudes to dial up to 10 on fluff BL? They have those tropes so memorized that it's burned in their bones. Put 'em in coach, they're ready to play.

If I take this show on THAT tip, then -- as an aiming-to-be-classic romance BL, then it's doing something.... if not right, then at least aligned to some tropes simply by mood. I'm curious about Sailom's flashbacks to Kang's bullying, but I don't have the strength or mindpower to read into it. If a reference back to the bullying comes -- or not -- then, whatever. This show is clearly, at the moment, trying to achieve a more simple goal than I expected of it, but I'm not gonna write it off. I'll thoroughly enjoy Perth and Chimon being poodles to each other -- gimme.

I was wondering to @lurkingshan and @neuroticbookworm earlier today that I had previously wondered WHY GMMTV would air Dangerous Romance during the Only Friends run, especially with ALL the marketing hype around Only Friends before it premiered. At the time, it seemed to me to be a pre-emptive gong strike on Dangerous Romance. Now it makes me wonder -- did GMMTV want to cover its bases by placing a classic fluff BL on air, to protect the network from losing fandom points through Only Friends? I can only wonder. If some ships are exploding through OF -- then the network can hand PerthChimon over and say, hey, we haven't forgotten our shipping roots, girlies.

Kinda makes me think. In any case -- Shan is right. I'm recalibrated on Dangerous Romance, I'm watching this literally to see PerthChimon ham it up, annnnnddd yeah, that's about it! At this point, give me the make-out sessions, give me pool time, gimme. I unabashedly stan and simp. If we get some real drama out of this show -- it will be a wonderful surprise. I just hope the show doesn't veer into totally unwatchable territory.

[al-the-remix]

I’m sorry what?? You’ve had fic written about you?? Are you famous? How did I not know this?

lol no and that's the part that's actually embarrassing, not the actual fic... It's really not that interesting but if you're curious i'll explain btc

I don't know if you remember 2010-2016 ish tumblr pre porn ban fandom, but it was a slightly different flavour than it was now. Maybe it was just the circles I spent time in, but I feel like that was before tumblr as a whole had learn its lesson BNF wise. This was post the big move of fan artists over from Deviant Art and there was also still a large number of "famous" cosplayers that were most notable for being hot and posting suggestive photos of themselves on the internet. (Which don't get me wrong I'm all for, I was a big fan of having random dicks and tits pop up on my feed without instantly getting community labeled) but this was also the hight of the "tumblr girl/boy aesthetic" which was basically just repackaging heroin chic to insecure, impressionable teenagers, which for reasons beyond me people love to romanticize now. "Oh remember 2011 tumblr, it was so great", what I remember is like 2/3rds of the platform mainlining glamorized anorexia and self harm content non stop, so like agree to disagree... But that's beyond the point, which is: people were super primed to bestow ""celebrity"" on people who didn't deserve it at all, and being in a group of like seven relatively attractive queer people who posted way too much of their personal lives on the internet and were overly familiar with each-other on main was enough to end up with fan fiction written about you.

I'm still good friends with most of these people, and we all agree that in retrospect this was a cringy period in our lives that was a result of our own behaviour not any one else, because like what I wouldn't give to be able to nuke all reposted aesthetic pictures of myself on pinterest, lmao.

But literally the only reason I ever invoke this cursed knowledge is when I think it could be used as like a moral tale to help prop up an opinion I feel very strongly about now, which first and foremost will always be:

there is no such thing as tumblr famous, especially within fandom, the way the site functions works directly against it and that's a good thing. Anyone who tries to gain clout within a fandom and either consciously or subconsciously turns their entire goal of participating in fandom into "making an impact" or becoming a "prominent figure in the fandom" should be avoided at all costs. If they're unsuccessful in garnering attention they'll become bitter, unbearable, and often cruel, if they do end up getting that attention they'll turn into the most annoying person you'll ever have the misfortune of interacting with and will most likely end up trying to dictate how everyone in the fandom should interact with the cannon material. (i've seen both examples play out more than once much to my own and everyone around them's suffering).

RPF... you don't have to like it, you can personal qualms with the ethics of it, it can very simply make you uncomfortable and you don't want to participate in it, all of those reasons are valid and there are interesting conversations to be had there, but I would say about 95% of the time when I come across people arguing about it has less to do with personal issues, and more to do with this sort of overcorrecting when it comes to sex, attraction, and intimacy we see now a days where especially younger people think that if you so much as find someone attractive you're violating...or god forbid...fetishizing them in some way. And there's a ton I could say on that topic, but I'll try and keep this to the point. Obviously what I experienced is like a speck of sand compared to beaches that are some RPF fandoms, and it likely affected me less because I am queer and I was actually sleeping with a number of those people that I was being "shipped" with etc.--though I'd still argue that whether you're queer or sleeping with that person, being written about by strangers on the internet is an odd experience-- But that's really all it is: odd. The same time all of this was going down I had someone who I hadn't seen in a very long time beginning to stalk me. And like the RPF half of this story, I'm using that word in the lightest of terms. This wasn't a man I was physically intimidated by (I was taller and stronger than him), I was lucky enough to be in the process of moving to a different province so unless I went back to my family home he didn't have physical access to me, and I never had to get the authorities involved. But despite all that I was much more affected by him hanging around outside my house, following me, leaving me weird handwriten letters and presents, insisting that we had some sort of connection even though this is someone I hadn't seen or spoken to in 6+ years, then I ever did being perceived by people on the internet. It made me feel paranoid, physically revolted, and worst of all no one around me took it seriously so I didn't have anyone to literally have my back. So after like four years of microdosing having fanfiction written about me and also having someone physically in my space that I didn't wish to be there, I can confidently say the latter is far worse. You're not breaching anyone's (agency?? idk i'm blanking on the word I want) by thinking or writing or drawing them, it's when you begin to try and physically breach that person's personal space, or because we live in the age of social media, their online bubble and directly engage them, for fandom reasons or because you wrongly believe that you and them have some sort of connection, that things begin to get out of hand. To me the whole issue really comes down to the breaking of the 4th wall, which I'll admit is a super delicate balance and becomes harder to maintain the larger the fandom grows. I think you can see some of the most negative consequences of this when it comes to some of the worst behaviour exhibited by Kpop fandoms, just because they're so large, and the management companies play into it feeding the fire, but at the same time we have talk show hosts getting a kick out of showing off character fan art and fanfiction to actors on air... so wether you're engaging with the "actor" or the "character" in your art and fic there are still ways for that forth wall to be breached, and trying to moralize it is a looser's game. You might as well not engage in fan fic at all, which some people will argue, but I obviously don't agree with.

TL;DR life is short, stalking people is bad, and if you want to write fanfiction about your favourite singer no one should be able to stop you, but I highly discourage emailing it to them.

This is why I still don't use my main blog, because even though I nuked all that content in like 2017 and rebranded as a anime/manga/comics blog, it keeps ratcheting up non-porn bot followers and I've discovered I have much more fun on the internet with fewer eyes on me (another good reason to use the block button liberally, lol)

[bluedalahorse]

musings before I go to the market

Thinking this morning about how of the YR character studies I’ve written by myself, I have one centered on Sara, one about August, one about Simon, and one about Felice.

I’m about to talk about kudos, which can feel kinda gauche, but I mostly want to bring them up from the angle of something that contradicted my expectations a bit.

So it turns out that:

the August-centered fic (published in June 2024) has the most kudos at 32

Sara’s fic (published in September 2021) comes next at 29

Felice (published in August of 2024) is next at 25

and Simon (from July 2024) comes in last at 21

I don’t want to draw too many conclusions about this, because it’s a very small sample size. But it’s interesting.

What really contradicted my expectations is that the August fic has the most kudos. Moreover, it’s a fic that takes a pretty optimistic view of August’s future and portrays him as a relatively decent guy who’s trying to do the right thing. I think some of this might be timing-related—it was written close enough to the aftermath of season 3 that the post-completion fandom surge hadn’t quite died down yet, and while August had his vocal detractors I also think there were a lot more fans in the fandom last spring who gave him grace and wanted him to grow. I do sometimes wonder if that undercurrent in fandom still exists, very quietly, and that anti-August sentiment is perceived as “universal” in YR fandom because it’s what select people are most vocal about. Are people more hopeful toward/interested in/just plain curious about August than they let on? Sometimes I want to believe that, but I also don’t want to be naive.

Sara’s fic having 29 kudos seems to be in part due to its longevity. It’s been around forever, which I think is what allowed people to find it and read it. It’s my first fic, but not my best fic. There’s some cultural error weirdness and some side characters who aren’t used well. Other than that, it’s written in a pretty polarizing format—verse and second person. But it’s a fun little Good For Her story about revenge! I also think this speaks to the bigger size of the fandom in the early days, and the fact that there was more interest in non-Wilmon characters.

I think of all the fics I posted to AO3, the Felice one is the one that got the most reblogs when I announced it on tumblr. It also brought in readers outside of my usual circle. I attempted a more traditional fanfic form here, and had fun playing with it. In some ways, I think of it as the fic where I was most itching to make a statement, because I just had A Lot Of Feelings about the part where fandom (myself included) often praises Felice for being a selfless and generous friend. I wanted to poke at that notion a bit. I wonder what kind of reception it would have gotten if it had been published at the same time as the August fic, like which one would have caught people’s attention more. There is a lot of professed interest in Felice—she won the non-Wilmon favorite character poll, back in the day, after all—but I always wonder how that translates to fan interest in stories centered on her.

The other stat that really surprises me here is Simon coming in dead last for kudos, because he is after all the fandom’s most beloved. I can see there being reasons for this, though. First of all, the fic is written in verse, which is polarizing. It was also published during Simon’s month (I had at first hoped to attach it to a prompt, but then second guessed myself about that) so I was competing with a lot of other Simon fics. It’s maybe the closest thing I’ve written to a traditional wilmon fic, but Simon’s relationships with Sara and Linda are put on equal footing, and also I am just… I have a very particular way of writing romance that may not be everyone’s cup of tea. So I feel like it exists in this uncanny valley between traditional wilmon fic and my usual YR fanfic brand. At the same time, the people who liked it seemed to like it a lot! So there’s that.

Anyway, I’m about to add Vincent to the mix as of tomorrow, in a serialized drabble format with multiple POVs. So it will be interesting to see what kind of engagement he—a much more secondary character—gets compared to main characters.

I feel like I’m wearing a little lab coat and goggles and such. Let’s do fandom science!

[imthediamondintherough]

Could I ask what Hecate's relationship with Eris, Persephone, Hades, and Demeter are I am curious now??

Oof damn Tumblr was supposed to notify me. My notifications were on

Anyway

An Ask!

(This may contradict a lot of myths about her but since in most retellings she's portrayed as a friend to both parties surrounding the story of Persephone's abduction.)

I expanded it just a teeny bit.

She's already friends with Eris (you know what they say every friend group has that one chaotic person). At least in the sense of she'll let Eris tag along her trips to the underworld where she visits her basically adopted brother Hades. Sometimes they cause chaos together in the human world. Sometimes it's Eris being chaotic and Hecate coming to her rescue with magic.

Hecate doesn't like initiating contact (bad interaction with Zeus and a few other titans) and sometimes struggles with dealing with the chaos of Olympus and prefers quiet so she spends a lot of time with Demeter, who she views as a sweet younger sister (who mysteriously always has fruit based treats.. not unlike Hestia.)

Hades who struggles with a similar problem and doesn't like the chatter of too many people at once. (At least the dead have much more tolerable chatter ..) the two have nice talks usually about Persephone and how much has changed.

For Persephone, it's more of an aunt/ mentor relationship. Aunt because Hecate seems to have always been around usually getting herbs, dropping off gifts, staying to read stories or "supervise" Persephone play with flowers and make new ones. Since she has experience handling the souls of the dead she helps advise Persephone. Usually she's the voice of reason preventing harsh punishments from Hades, (not always successful with Persephone)

She also likes telling Demeter how her daughter is doing. (Demeter always rants about how proud she is and that she wants to live up to Persephone and be as respectful and supportive as she can). Hecate being almost like a personal messenger for Persephone on days she's too busy. Hecate also finds random doorways for Persephone to use that normally would have closed up... Though actually Hades made it a sort of game: he makes a number of given "gates" and Hecate tells Persephone about them making it sound as though she randomly found them while doing something else and Persephone uses the gate to visit Demeter. Persephone knows about the game but isn't going to tell them. (Yet.)

Oof I rambled.

Hope I answered your question!

Most contact between all four is hugs and linking arms. Sometimes grabbing hands and holding them. That last one is reserved for Persephone when she asks if her mother is heartbroken by the choice she made since it separated them. Hecate reassures her that Demeter is happy she is in a position where she is treated well and wants above All for Persephone to be happy.

If any of what I said made sense at all.

Basically those four are the circle of people Hecate really really likes as opposed to everyone else irritating her after about thirty minutes.

[castlebyersafterdark]

I’m curious to what your thoughts are on your experience as a male in the fandom?

(i am also a guy in the fandom and I feel like there’s no one here. insert that one [there are dozens of us] meme)

not that there’s anything wrong with that lol. I love the ladies! but when I first came on here I just assumed there would be more guys just cause of that direct connection/relatability to byler. obviously not straight guys, but queer guys. and yet… I was wrong lmao. and what I’ve learned since then is that fandom, especially tumblr, is heavily female-dominated. Which is so interesting cause ST is obviously a show for everyone and that’s not what I expected.

fun fact: I never specified my pronouns or gender in my account and now everyone assumes I’m also a girl, and it’s been so long that I think it’s prolly too late to clarify 😭

I’ve noticed that this lopsidedness affects both the sfw byler and the spicy byler side of things in subtle ways. not all of it is positive or negative. some of it is just… interesting.

what are your thoughts?

It hasn't really cropped up as anything too glaring, I've always been able to find a mixed bag of people online through different fandoms, but definitely it seems like demographics skew a certain way on this site. I've found over the years that even if that's the case, the big three (twitter, reddit, tumblr) are easy to just have a neutral identity if so desired, play with anonymity outside of a few people you decide to open up and chat one on one with. Even if true demographics do reflect certain numbers on sites, its not something I really feel bothered by?? I know just by true stats, more fanfic writers/readers tend to be women? I don't really know what that means, haven't thought about it too much. I've just always found comfort in escaping into media and am a big child of the internet.

I guess the one thing I find in the creative circles (not exclusive to stranger things) is maybe just different perspectives when people discuss or write a relationship or talk about sex or a type of experience that might not be theirs. Sometimes something jumps out that I just side eye and breeze past, but you really can't always tell. I just have a laugh (this is no shade!!! And there's a lot of talented writers but its like, oh boy, sometimes you encounter something and it's clear the sex scene was written by someone who knows very little practical applications about men but that's OK, its fanfic hahaha) BUT ALSO I've read published smut written by gay men too where I'm like... boy, what is this??? So I'll take odd choices in fandom writing with good characterizations of characters I already adore with maybe a few inaccuracies over the terribly written trash you sometimes suffer through off the shelf. I like to read!! That's the big thing that's always drawn me to fandom. An overactive imagination and fanfic really scratches that want for more. But truthfully, gender and identity of the blogger or writer isn't my first priority when I'm in fandom to be honest.

I guess maybe what you're getting at is something along the lines of looking for shared "community" in fandom spaces which is definitely nice but I've always just looked for connections about the media itself in nerd culture, since I get the social/community aspect in my personal life. I just like having a place to be a fan and be a little extra as hell 🤷 my friends/bf have similar interests, but not as excitable or analytical or creative about the media we all might watch so I don't really care who I encounter online as long as we click the same way. And we all have watched the show, but it's not like I spend tons of time talking about my extensive plot theories or ideas for smut fic with the irls. That's what the blogs are for haha. And I haven't noticed a big difference in stranger things compared to other fandoms I've been in (I'll say marvel for example). All the same for both problems and enjoyment, just with how huuuuge they are.

I'd love to hear what you mean by those lopsidedness observations you have about this fandom in general if you care to elaborate. No worries either way.

[blondrichclosetwitch]

Hotel California, 4 times in 24 hours on a 4 day. Sounds like it’s time to tell that story.

(Also mags, your 8:12 song had the line over and over “you make good fiction”)

Sometimes the spirits are such matchmakers

They asked me to expand on this one.

The last time it played, I told my surrogate sister about it. “I think they’re telling me I don’t have to do sexwork anymore. I heard you don’t need to put on your red light stronger than anything else. That’s what stuck out.”

But let’s go back to going into hiding for a minute.

(Btw, she just said to me the reason her candle looks so shitty is because you’re trying to separate us. It’s nice that you have a healthy ego and are ambitious, but no.)

Ok so it will probably take me all day to tell this, but: it started when The Voice starting talking to me on 1/3/20, which was an 8. My 49th birthday. 49 is nine of wands. Good card, I don’t pull it much. Anyway, the Voice which was def male seeming told me to blow off dinner with Anna Marie and take acid by myself.

I didn’t even have acid.

But Cyrus did.

On the way back, I stopped by the grotto over by pier Pasolini or whatever that church is called. I think it’s safe to say it’s the only time I stared at a statue of Jesus tripping lightly. Hallucinogenics and religious statues, who knew.

I didn’t stay long. I never do.

I was still kinda curious about this voice, as in who was talking to me. I didn’t really know.

But the voice talked to me intermittently til the sun came up. Gave me some instructions, including about quitting certain drugs completely & writing only on the tumblr. That I was to put music messages and documentation there, and tell our story.

I sent Jakk a text at 2:32 am, according to my photo library. 2:32 is “so you thinking what you gained you lost, but your shit is taking off.”

I think it took me a week to quit the drug but I did. Don’t touch it at all. A drug that pretty much most of the characters have some sort of history with.

I can only imagine the videos of me during that time. I remember feeling the surveillance in certain places, “they’re watching me right now”. She probably still has them saved, don’t you?

Anyway I quit, and things became in-my-face clear.

The first thing I noticed was I kept moving in circles in the apartment, for hours, though I had every intention to leave within 15 minutes. Everything became circular.

I did this for almost an hour once when I ran in just to grab something, and I just kept crying hysterically & going in circles, when I heard “put on your coat, Aunt Tinka!” and I cried harder, grabbing my coat, and finally getting out. It was one of the times I heard her use exact words.

There was one other time, right after, when I was still sleeping in the apartment, *but* I was sleeping in a mattress on the floor. With the door closed because I was afraid to inhale what was in the walls, because I thought that was what was confusing me and making me go in the circles.

And it was morning. And it was after I heard psychic J talking to me. I was starting to hear wildly to the point by that being awake was pure chaos. And I looked at the picture that I call “Stella” and she was the one who said it.

She said the place was pure poison and I had to take the pictures down. And she said, “don’t let my death be for nothing.”

I went into hiding the next week. At least I thought it was hiding, because I didn’t give anyone (and I mean not even my mother) the address. But I was found within days.

[alphacygni]

Finally got a chance this week to sit down and read Second Self , the most recent Picard novel. I pretty much assumed I would enjoy this one because it's Una McCormack (which is like slapping a guarantee on the package for me) and because her first Picard novel was a banger, despite my having more tepid feelings about the series itself.

If you’re in my Trek circle of tumblr, you should give this one a try, guys. It's good.

Random thoughts (here be spoilers):

The moment I saw the words "a Cardassian," I knew I was going to see Garak. I knew because #1: are there other Cardassians? Really? and #2: Dr. Una wouldn't play with my heart like that. (Also my spouse, who had already read the book, kept staring at me while I was reading, judging my reaction. Bit of a tip off as well.)

I fucking love Raffi. Specifically, I love this novelverse version of the character who has depth and is so relatable. She was the best part of Last Best Hope, and having her take center stage was a treat. I would like to kindly request of the Star Trek gods to please give us a smidge more Seven/Raffi in the novelverse. The radioplay was lovely, and Beyer fed us well there. But I want more, and I'm especially curious to see what Dr. McCormack's would do with it. I have waited a lifetime to see an explicitly canon sapphic ship* in Trek: I am hungry. (*other than Dax/Kahn)

Juxtaposing Elnor and his absolute candor with Garak is just *chef's kiss fireworks yes* BRILLIANT

As with most of Dr. Una's work, not only was this an engaging read, but it was thematically rich, too. The meditation on justice vs. retribution vs. restitution is so immediately relevant and so well done that I know I’ll be thinking about it many times outside its trek context. And I was so grateful for the recognition that choosing restitution is an heroic act on the part of those who truly deserve retribution/justice. Effing lovely.

I always wondered how one could satisfactorily end Garak's story. I mean in my heart I knew it couldn't be purely happily ever after. There were war crimes, buddy: probably need just a smidge of comeuppance there. But also, the other part of my heart didn't want to see him suffer more because...because it's Garak. This ending managed to please both halves of my heart, which I didn't think possible. (When I say end, it is by default in quotation marks because that story will never be over, I refuse)

I will forever and always wonder how different this arc is than the one that might have been in the prior DS9 litverse.

Okay, @unamccormack, be honest: how much of that letter Garak left for Bashir have you mentally written? Actually written? I have to know what it says. I need it like air. I just know it would be full of references to The Tempest and musings on missed opportunities and past mistakes. Please, I'm begging: release the extended cut!

[eremiie]

study session, sex songs

❥ armin x reader | nsfw | 2.3k words

❥ content: semi public sex, vaginal fingering, a sex tape

❥ a/n; an ask i got that i took an ss of and then tumblr deleted my asks, but i HAD to do this🙄!!!

you were bored.

you were so bored that the sound of the rain drops hitting the window next to you was almost a form of entertainment, or maybe the shuffling of people trading books on the shelf.

at this point anything was better than the piece of paper and book in front of you. you had been staring at the words so long that they were all the same. you were rereading the same sentence over and over again, and aimlessly sketching small drawings on the paper in front of you.

studying wasn't your strong pursuit, especially with your boyfriend next to you, who seemed to love it. at the thought of him, your eyes glanced over— a sight for sore eyes when you had been staring at chemistry notes for the past half hour.

a pencil was dancing on paper in between his slender fingers, jumping with every lift of his hand and coming back down to the white sheet like a figure skater on ice. he wore glasses to study, large frames sitting on the bridge of his nose, his hair so close to touching them. those same blonde locks almost hid the earphones that were snug in both ears, and you wondered if whatever he was listening to is what helped him study so diligently. his tongue stuck out just a little bit in concentration, while his eyes flit back and forth between the paper in front of him and the book above it.

he must've been watching you watch him, his attention turning towards you and the mechanical pencil coming to a quick halt mid sentence. he set it down to the table gently, and you lifted yourself off of the surface to balance your head on the palm of your hand. "armin." a whine of his name, clear discontent laced in your voice.

"yeah?" his reply was so simple, so innocent. as if he didn't drag you to the library with him, practically pleading for you to just sit down and study with you knowing you hated studying, especially in the atmosphere of a library. there were too many distractions and you weren't comfortable. not to mention the fact that you were clad in a skirt.

"i can't study, can we just go?" his expression didn't change at the sound of your complaints, eyes still calm and lips still together in a line. you didn't want to come in the first place, he should at least give you the liberty of leaving when you asked— especially considering how long you had been in the quiet library.

"do you think listening to something will help?" armin's eyebrows came together as his hand came to point at the earphones in his ear. you really didn't want to stay, but when you thought about the focus your boyfriend was in that you broke you did feel a little bad.

your legs shifted from under the table and you sat back in your seat, crossing your arms in your lap and letting out a sigh, eyes traveling around the vast library. when they landed back on armin the earbud was already sitting pretty between his fingertips. it was glaring at you and you were glaring at it, but nevertheless you leaned forward and plucked it from armin's fingers, his lips upturning when you did.

he slipped his hands in his pockets to fumble with his phone and you picked up the pencil in front of you to try and get back to studying, checking to see what page armin was on while you waited for the music to play in your ears. what music was armin into anyways? the last thing you could remember him listening to being a spotify playlist full of lo-fi beats.

only... it wasn't lo-fi beats that began to play.

or music.

your body went rigid, pencil in your hand beginning to feel heavy, leaving you to wonder how it hasn't clattered to the table yet. a chill ran down your spine because what you were listening to was all too familiar— from the wet sounds that happily made its way into your ear, to a moan of armin's name that sounded much too like your own voice.

it was your voice, because when you heard another moan it was armin's cry of your name.

it took you a minute to turn your head towards armin, his eyebrows raising over his eyes in question of what you could possibly want now. he hummed a small "hm?" to figure it out, as if it wasn't obvious. that look of innocence was played by him again, blue eyes twirling with curiosity as if there was anything to be curious about. as if your sex tape wasn't a reason for you to look at him funny— eyes blown and mouth agape.

when you didn't respond— only still staring at him dumbfounded, he shrugged his shoulders and continued to scribble on his stupidly neat paper.

were you hearing things right?

your eyes flashed, brows knit as you shoved armin's shoulder, his pencil flying off the paper and messing up the "e" he was in the midst of writing. "you messed up my paper." he grumbled, and oh, was he a little too good at this game he was playing with you.

"what is this?" you questioned, disregarding the flimsy sheet of paper he was writing on because that was clearly the least of his issues.

armin used his pencil to point to your book, confusion taking over the once curious look he had just moments ago. "...a study session i would assume." he wasn't letting up, and your lip twitched at his response.

"no— i mean what am i listening to?"

"well, out of everybody you should know." your body stiffened again, a slow blink at his response that came out almost too smoothly, words sliding off his tongue like silk. you had to pull your gaze away from him as he only did just what he did earlier, going right back to studying like there wasn't anything off about the moment you were sharing.

if he wanted to play with you, you'd just have to join in his game.

so with a huff of breath, and the lewd noises that were still playing in your ear you turned your body back towards your notes in front of you and tried to read them over again. your name was the only thing comprehendible on the sheet, every word below it a jumbled mess.

"light wave... light waves, diffraction pattern..." you spoke slowly, reading as if you were back in the first grade.

your hands moved down from the textbook and to the paper in front of you, nimble fingers forming words on the paper that you could only hope would make sense when you'd read them back.

diffraction pattern - occurs only

"only who?"

"only you fuck me like this, armin, please!"

the tail of your y went a little too low, and your legs turned to jello, squeezing together when you heard your voice swim through your ears. blood was rushing to your cheeks, and you leaned closer to your book, burying your nose in it despite not actually reading what was on the pages— at least well. with a suck of breath you continued to write,

diffraction pattern - occurs only you fu

your eyes shot open mid sentence, and you scrambled to spin the pencil around until the eraser met the paper, erasing what you had written furiously, and you swore you heard a small chuckle leave armin's lips, you biting your own and scrunching your nose up at your pitiful mistake.

your hands came up to rub at your temple, the sound of a moan armin drawled from you a couple nights ago was what you heard next, and it might’ve sounded nice those nights ago, but now it was embarrassing.

you squeezed your eyes shut, much like your legs and as flustered as you were you couldn’t help but feel... aroused.

it was something about hearing armin fuck into you so nice. the way that even though there was no visual for you to look at, you could visualize the moment so clearly— so vividly, because the more you listened the more you could remember making the tape, remembering what happened during the tape.

armin’s hands had slid up your back, a handful of your hair being grasped by his hand, a sinful arch being created by your back, and you let out a choked whimper, that you didn’t even realize you reciprocated in real life.

armin’s head slowly turned to you and his lips were forming a sick grin, and you would’ve been mad if you didn’t want him so bad, if you didn’t want every moment you could hear to stop being the past and become the present, the very moment that was playing in your ear to play out in front of you.

a whine, a pleading look on your face; eyebrows turned upwards and your hips grinding down into the chair below you.

armin could’ve almost laughed if he wanted to, and he almost did when your hand slid into his lap to grab his and pull it to the hem of your skirt, the fabric brushing lightly against his fingertips, but he didn’t push forward.

“armin,” his name never sounded so nice on your tongue, never sounded so desperate. your grip on his wrist tightened and urged him forward, and so he let them slip under the soft fabric of your skirt, and even past the band of your underwear, and the closer he inched towards your aching cunt the wider your legs spread for him.

his finger felt cold against your clit when he touched it, rubbing small circles right away, and your face looked like it was melting at his touch, your body was melting at his touch.

and he was being kinder than expected— letting his fingers dip down further until your slick allowed for him to enter into you, your body shivering at his touch, at the stretch.

your head fell forward onto the table with a louder than expected bang, and it caused both you and armin to jolt, the people around you stirring a bit.

you didn’t care too much, but armin did, his fingers stilling and his eyes going back to his textbook, eyes darting back and forth between the words as if he was really reading them, and you wanted to give him a prize for best actor right then and there.

“shh.” he said without looking your way, but his fingers began to move again, and you tried your best to not let out a moan. “gotta be quiet if you want me to fuck you with my fingers... this is what you want right?”

the sound in your ears were practically drowned out by your thoughts, by the squelches of your juices being moved around by armin’s middle finger, by the sounds that only you could hear— and maybe armin if he listened enough.

“yeah... i want it.” the small pants that were leaving your parted lips, and they only increased when armin inserted a second finger, his hand making itself comfortable in your underwear, fabric harshly rubbing against his pale hand with every thrust of his digits into your pussy. “want it so bad.”

you looked like a dog, a puppy in its heat, pushing your hips forward to get him deeper into you, but it just wasn’t enough.

you were needy and needed more, so your own hand smoothed down to your clit and you began to rub circles, whimpering at the sensation, the pleasure flooding through your lower half, almost making you dizzy.

hell, you were dizzy— drunk even; drunk on the lust that was twirling in your pretty head, and drunk on armin’s fingers— it was like the way his hand moved when he wrote notes, moving precisely and ease.

his fingers fucked up into you, curling when they were deep enough, and making your body lurch forward. “again.” you needed to feel that again. the fingers on your clit went a little faster, because you knew you were close. “again.”

and he did it again, hitting that spot that made you clench around him, and he kept doing it, and your fingers kept moving, you were progressively getting louder, but it didn’t matter as you were getting closer to coming as well.

and you did, body tensing up and every nerve in your body pinching, mouth dropped open and eyes rolling to the back of your head as your hand came to hover just over your mouth just in case any sound left you.

you slumped over onto the table, pulsing around armin’s fingers but your own slipping out of your skirt and onto the space of the chair your legs made.

armin finally let out a stupid small laugh, his soaked fingers finally leaving your sloppy cunt and entering his mouth, tongue twirling around your release. it was a shame you weren’t looking.

you could hear it though, the obnoxiously loud slurping sounds he made and the hum of content he made before popping his fingers out his mouth. what you couldn’t hear was the tape. it must’ve stopped in the middle of armin fingering you.

and you also heard the slide of armin’s chair against the floor of the library, the sound of a book cover meeting it’s back, and the shoving of books into a bag.

armin looked over his shoulder with a bored expression, one that was eerily similar to the look you had given him just earlier when you were bored of studying.

your eyes met his; eyes still calm and lips in a line once more... “i can’t study anymore. let’s just go.”

[bemusedlybespectacled]

okay, you absolutely don't have to answer this if you wouldn't like to, but i am very curious about the funny story about your best friend's suicide???

OKAY THIS IS THE STORY

so just for the record this was @aquietrevolutionary who I actually do still follow even though she died in 2017 but ANYWAY OKAY THIS IS UNDER A CUT BECAUSE IT'S VERY LONG

also, like, content warning for death/suicide/mental health stuff. obviously.

so, just for background information: I was roommates with her for almost our entire college experience so I knew her and her parents really well. her mom was very friendly but also an evangelical Christian who thought fantasy fiction was witchcraft, and her dad was also nice but an atheist libertarian who was extremely pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps. unsurprisingly, they were divorced.

I definitely played up the Extremely Modest And Conservatively Religious vibe I tend to give off due to my fashion choices and hairstyle when I was around them, so they also really liked me. this + the fact that I was her best friend meant that, at one point, she made me her emergency contact and gave me her parents' telephone numbers in case something happened to her.

[narrator voice] this was foreshadowing.

after we graduated, several things happened to tank her mental health that are too long to get into, but basically, she'd already been hospitalized once because she had an extremely active plan (as in "had bought a gun and was sending out goodbye texts"). so her having shit mental health was a known thing, but she'd been talked off the ledge at least once before. so when I heard from a friend of hers that she hadn't posted to tumblr in days and had skipped a planned D&D session, I called in a welfare check on the non-emergency line in her city.

that was a Saturday night. I didn't hear anything from the cops all Sunday. Sunday evening I called them back to be like, "Um yes excuse me could you let me know if my friend is alive????" and the cop who was on the phone with me was like "oh yeah, she's dead. do you have any contacts for her next of kin?"

oh boy DID I. but I had them in the notes app of my phone, and I couldn't find it & stay on the call at the same time, so I asked to call them back in five minutes while I found the numbers. when I called back in five minutes, the same cop said, exact words: "oh, we don't need that information anymore, someone's already been notified."

oh cool! they must have found her dad's contact info and already called him! (narrator voice: this is also foreshadowing) so I call him and leave a voicemail along the lines of, "Hi, Mr. Revolutionary, this is BB, Quiet's roommate, I'm so sorry about what happened." I get a call an hour later from him being like "hi BB uh can you tell me what in the hell you're talking about," because he'd literally just gotten off a plane from a vacation in Hawaii and the first voicemail he listened to when he got off the plane was an incredibly ominous voicemail from me.

SPOILER ALERT: HE HAD NOT BEEN CONTACTED. I WAS THE ONE WHO HAD TO TELL HIM SHE DIED.

I still do not know who the fuck the cops contacted, unless they meant that they'd contacted me, which 1) they hadn't contacted me, I called them, and 2) I'd literally only been off the phone with them for five minutes. I know it wasn't her job, her dad, her mom, her sister, or anyone else in her immediate circle. so like, all I can think of is that the cop got off the phone with me, ticked some little box that said "emergency contact notified" somewhere, and then immediately forgot the entire conversation he'd had with me five minutes prior.

so now – because I'm the one person that everyone who knew her also knew and I'm also the person who called in the welfare check and hey, I've already done it once! – I'M NOW THE DESIGNATED DEATH ANNOUNCER. so I'm the one who got called up by her job to ask where she was, and also the person who had to break the news to all our mutual friends, and also the one who sent in her death notice to our alma mater, and for NINE MONTHS AFTERWARDS I was STILL getting Facebook messages from people like, "Oh, wow, I didn't realize she was dead! let's talk about her for an hour, stranger!" because that's my job now, I guess.

BUT IT GETS WORSE

I took the weekend to go to her funeral, and like. I was in law school. I didn't have a lot of funeral-appropriate attire. so I was wearing my one black sort of business dress that's really thick and hot, and the funeral was in Virginia in September so it was basically summer, and I had to wear it to the airport because I wouldn't have time to change before the funeral. so I show up at her mom's house for the funeral pre-game dressed like, you know, someone who's going to a funeral, and everyone else is in, like. tie-dyed T-shirts and jeans. somehow, I managed to be overdressed AT A FUCKING FUNERAL.

BUT NO. IT GETS WORSE.

for the next...... hour? or so? I had a VERY awkward conversation with her mother on her porch about why she thought her daughter had killed herself. her personal theory was that she'd [sinful thing redacted out of respect for her mom asking me not to repeat it] and felt so guilty about it that she had to kill herself. (she had not-completely-speculative reasons for this theory but it was incredibly unlikely if you knew my roommate well at all)

and I'm sitting there sweating my ass off like "how the fuck do I tell this woman that not only do I know all the gory details of her daughter's life and can guarantee that what she thinks happened did not happen but also that I'm 99% sure the reason she killed herself is because she felt like she'd never experience sex or romantic love because honestly sometimes she was a little bit of an incel and yet also somehow maintain the illusion that I am an innocent neophyte who thinks bare knees are sinful and would never discuss such a thing???"

anyway I and her family and our friends all went to the funeral (which I found incredibly ironic because she was an adamant atheist and yet they kept saying she was "in the arms of Jesus"), and then my friends and I went out for Chinese food, and then we went back to our respective accommodations.

now, again, going to the funeral was an emergency situation. I wasn't exactly booking a vacation here. so I'd booked a $50/night motel room nearish the airport because it was cheap and available.

this was a mistake.

at like 4 AM, there's someone fucking banging on my door. it was a lady who was very clearly intoxicated (unsure if she was drunk or high or both but she was NOT aware), and apparently she thought that my motel room was someone else's, because she's like, "LET ME IN, BABY! BABY, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! BABY, I'M SORRY! LET ME IN!"

so like. okay. I've just spent the past week being Death's Telephone Operator while also going to my 3L classes and clinic and trying to write a eulogy for someone who doesn't actually feel dead to me yet. I showed up to this funeral dressed like Morticia Adams at a business conference when apparently the dress code was T-shirts and jeans and no one told me. I had the incredibly awkward experience of trying to not reveal every intimate detail of my dead friend's life to her fucking mother while also trying to give her support and closure. and now some drunk lady is trying to break into my motel room to find her boyfriend or some shit.

anyway that's how I ended up at a Waffle House at 7 AM, because my life was a complete shambles at the moment but Waffle Houses are a constant and I hadn't been to one since starting law school and GOD IF I'M ALLOWED TO ENJOY ONE THING THIS WEEKEND IT'S GOING TO BE FUCKING WAFFLE HOUSE.

[orphicpoieses]

Be brave

You know those days where you just need to write down a thought you have? Yeah. It’s that day for me. So let me ramble…

Taking a break from Writeblr means anything. It can mean: “I’m going on full-end hiatus for six months at least!”

It can also mean: “I don’t interact with my community at the moment.”

It can also mean: “I simply don’t want to post something I need to write down.”

I’m taking a break at the moment. Not the type of break, where I don’t come online. More the type of break, where I stop, reset and try to find my voice again.

If I see a post I want to share, I put it into my queue. No tags. No comments. Just plain repost.

If I want to show you something immediately, I repost immediately. Sometimes with tags. Usually not.

I have a lot of content in my drafts. WIP intros, character intros, random stuff, ask games, ask games answers. Why don’t I post these? Because I want to be fully present when I share it with you.

I listen to a podcast called “Voice Hugs” (go listen! It’s really good!). There is an episode about starting something new. Anything. And Rowena said: “We are not afraid to start, because it is new. We are afraid, because it is uncomfortable.”

She is right. I have many points on my agenda. Stuff, I wanted to do, but haven’t. This includes starting a YouTube Channel. Vlogging. Publishing writing.

I didn’t do all of this, because I was uncomfortable. Because it stressed me out. Because it was a strange feeling. But over time, it becomes routine. It becomes normal.

Life doesn’t become easier, you simply change your “normal state”. The same is with Tumblr.

I am at 160 Followers today. I never had so many followers in my life before! Not on Instagram. Not on Twitter. Never. Not even on Wattpad, when I was active and had a story with over 1.5k reads (for me, this number is extremely large!)

I do have plans! I love to create content! I love social media. The possibility to engage with people all over the world. And I say thank you to each of those 160 followers.

But I am afraid of this strange feeling. It is new. It is uncommon. It is uncomfortable. Sharing ideas is uncomfortable. Not knowing the rules I play by is uncomfortable.

I am constantly circling in my comfort zone. In that little space, trying to avoid to interact with the risky life.

But risk includes chance. Chance to succeed. Chance to change.

I want to be braver. More open. More engaging. More of sharing and receiving. More of vlogging and making silly faces. More of those points in my agenda. The dusty agenda I refuse to give up.

I feel like I am about to step into a new part of my life right now. I am scared, of course I am! But I am also curious, where this road will lead me.

I am basing my content mainly on what could be interesting, rather than simply doing the things I want to do. I don’t post about my WIP, because I think it will be boring for you. Because I think, I will make things more difficult for me to do. To publish. I don’t trust in myself.

Jay Shetty quoted from a writer, his name was Charles Horton Cooley: “I am not, what I think I am. I am not, what you think I am. I am what I think, you think, I am.”

That’s true. I act not the way I am. I act how I think I should act. How I think other people expect me to act. I started Tumblr, because I could write. I love social media, I love Instagram, but I’m not much of a photographer. Again, something I am uncomfortable with, because it is new.

I thought: Hey! Here, you can simply do something you love! Talk about your stuff!

You know what? I didn’t. You want to know why? Because I hate bothering people with things they didn’t tell me they are interested in. I am fascinated by how other writeblrs simply throw out their mind, their heart into this void and talk about stuff, they are genuinely interested in, without knowing, if other people like it too.

I am jealous of these people, because they are carefree. They simply do, what they want to.

I did something that some may view differently: I made a space to come back into my comfort zone. It was not the best… I would not say decision, but the reason behind it wasn’t good.

I did my discord and I’m inactive to. It’s new. It’s strange. It still isn’t the norm yet. But I want to link each one of you together. I want to bring people with similar interests together over something I create. May this be my discord or my work or anything.

I want to give people a pat on the shoulder and say: “It’s okay. I’ve been there too. Don’t worry. It will work out.”

I hope, I can — one day — be a person, people go to, to seek advice.

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

out of context of course, what do you take me for? a sane person?

"they made lightning mcqueen hot"

"inch resting"

"Nix: Cars (2006) several people are typing..."

"im evaporating"

"enjoy precipitation"

"tow mater is more attractive than lightning mcqueen/hj"

"lightning mcqueen looks like he would call me a slur"

"why did I come back to a discussion regarding the attractiveness of vehicles"

"lark is the braincell of shiftblr tbh"

"you all need some grass in your life"

"me over here simping for block men and now literal cars"

"didn't nick wilde commit fraud canonically"

"i have no strong opinions on whether or not nick wilde is attractive"

"I AM AROMANTIC AND I AM NOT IMMUNE TO NICK WILDE"

"I am bisexual and I. Am not into Nick Wilde based on a simple fact he looks like he will drink all my pepsi and call me names"

"What is shiftbkr but not a bunch of simps"

"cries in Bianca Monroe"

"listen i have a folder called gayass

it is mostly pictures of kyoka jiro and virgil sanders"

"Nick Wilde x Reader where he steals your car 📷 carjacker to lovers AU 📷"

"he says "mama i like to step on keyboard""

"MY MOM JUST WALKED IN AND I HAD TO TELL HER I WAS LOOKING AT LIGHTING MC QUEEN HUMAN FANART"

"crab walks away"

""Y/N..." Nick whispered into your ear. "Your car...is a Honda Civic, right?" You looked up at Nick with a baffled expression. "Nick, my beloved? Whatever are you talking about?" "Just asking..." He said as he let you out of his embrace. "Hey, wanna see a magic trick, babe?" Your eyes sparkled. "Really, Nick? Of course!" Nick smiled. "Ok, close your eyes!" You giggled and closed your eyes, waiting for Nick to tell you to open up. Instead, you heard the loud rumble of a car starting up, and you open your eyes. Nick has stolen your car, and he has driven off into the sunset..."

"did y'all know his name used to be canonically Montgomery--he changed it to lightning mcqueen to get rid of his past"

"That is my exit number"

"cars trauma arc"

"wait do y'all know about car jesus" "as if jesus wasn't a ford focus in the bible"

"oh yall do not want to know about the trauma in my cars dr lmao"

"Dewit tau style babey make Lightning McQueen outlive everyone and stalk their reincarnations"

"Do they baptize other cars in like gasoline then"

"there is a pope car in the cars universe which means car jesus died for cars sins"

"NOT THE BOOMER MEMES"

"-lays facedown on the floor while caramelldansen plays-"

"like im serious how many of you guys endorse me falling face down on my floor" (NOT THE SAME PERSON AS PREVIOUS QUOTE)

"I will be Tall and no one can stop me"

"is a soft floor?"

"stop I thought faceplant meant like a succulent in the shape of a face instead of falling onto your noggin for a solid 10 seconds"

"Touch some grass??? What about eating grass"

"what if for every employee of the month i just printed out really horrible boomer memes"

"what ab smoking grass /j"

"Can the grassdirt smoothie be a special in the cafe"

"PLEASE IM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR REWRITINH THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE WHIKE SPEEDRUNINT MINECRAFT"

"you have to get good dirt from like the middle of a pennsylvanian forest for it to taste good though"

"I ate a four leaf clover as a kid cause i thought it would make me lucky"

"guys how do i see the mee6 leaderboard"

"I used to think i was half dragon and I ate plants out of sidewalk cracks"

"i think i punched someone"

"my parents told me to stop doing that so I looked at them and ate a flower"

"I ate grass when I was 9 bc I read warrior cats and thought I was a medicine cat ....................."

"bees are just spicy flies"

"I had a mental breakdown when I was three cause I didn’t know how to turn off a phone"

"My mom drank a bee once"

"when I was a baby I kinned ink sans."

"bro who here find the yellow hat man from curious george fine as heck 📷📷📷"

"mY LUNGSSSSSS"

"no one topping Him"

"I like em big"

"I think Moto Moto has no game like move over hunky boy I could beat you 1v1 Roblox Arsenal 📷📷📷"

"If you didnt have a crush on springtrap, jeff the killer, or Underfell/Gaster/Error sans don't talk to me /j"

"LOOK THEY'RE BOTH DILFS WITH ABS THAT WOULD FIGHT GOD"

"ZORO IS BANNED"

"Guys please help I found my old fnaf fanart from when I was 8 I'm in literal tears"

"OH NO BOT MY FIFTH GRADE HAMILTON PHASE"

"The worst attraction ive ever had has to be Sombra Overwatch"

"My family is like "save all ur art so I can sell it when you're famous" I literally could not sell this if I tried"

"screaming puppet"

"I just remembered Ive drawn overwatch/hamilton crossover fanart"

"my hermit crabs ate each other again"

"we're cannibals ????"

"having me here is a curse you have inflicted on yourselves and I for one am glad for it <3" "scitters around like a crab in anticipation"

"CARB DAY"

"WE NEED TO HAVE A WATCH OARTY"

"hey y'all ill be right back i have to throw away a crab carcass"

"if I watch cars I'm going to start laughing in the middle of it nonstop just because the word cars is funny and also cars are funny like how do you move silly little metal box with rubber circles"

"Lark asleep post catboy pitbul"

"Mwista Wowldwide! Nya!" "hermit crab 2: electric boogaloo"

"Is that why your name is chaos"

"manifest the crab power!!"

"cool dex fact: i can't read 📷"

"sighs adds to worship these entities list"

"with a knife <3"

"yeah and if he betrays me I could probably throw him across the atlantic ocean"

"give me his eyes"

"my good citizen i am a- wait no im nonbinary nvm"

"it worked on a fish idk what to tell you"

"what is gender??? Is that a board game?? If so can I be apples to apples that one's my favorite"

"CHUTES AND LADDERS"

"anyways actually my gender is Candyland"

"Oh god romes the destroyer of friendships/j"

"i am a simple gay i see math i run in the opposite direction survival instincts 101"

"math my beloathed"

"algebra makes me want to rip open a bag of swedish fish and swallow them whole"

"cackles in they're au characters and this will be very fun"

"pog !!!! me too ksajgks one of my drs is a sanders sides au"

"Is that bipper"

"tumblr sexyman"

"Good because he’ll fuck u up if u hurt a child"

"I want a wing-suit"

"looks like a bean would poison someone"

"my hermit crabs are cannibals what can i say"

"sonic the hedgehog kinnie"

"get yourself a man who is capable of the most ungodly actions but won't do them because of their morality owo"

"tell him he can steal my wallet"

"eyes"

"idk about y'all but I need blueberry sweet tea to live"

"y'know the red souls from soul eater i really want to eat those"

"but like only respectable crimes like stealing from elon musk"

"You can go cultbashing with he!"

"He acts like a flamboyant gay man, but if a flamboyant gay man was straight."

"Simp Satan 📷"

"definitely arson"

"They look like they enjoy lemon squares and other lemon desserts"

"Satan is all-powerful but he spends most of his time building honeymoon locations because he is convinced that the protag loves him"

"bc shes the reincarnation of his dead wife or something i guess"

annd here's a quote from our very own dream (@shiftingwastaken) that sums this post up:

"shiftblr but context makes it worse"

[ahogehope]

BlazBlue Alternative Dark War Nightmare Fiction Event English Translation (Part 8: At the Edge)

IT’S FINALLY OVER! -cue game over music-

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST:  I realize this isn’t getting as much (actually not much of any) traffic as opposed to the reddit posts, but I’d like to extend this request over here as well. I’d definitely like to continue working on translations for this game but am unsure whether I should jump right into the most current event (the Dark Mai one) or start on actual story content next. So my question is: what do you guys want to see more? Reply to this post or shoot me an ask or whatever it is tumblr does these days.

Crossposted from reddit just for a little more exposure.

This is part 8, or the ninth story quest in the event.

Previous parts can be found here: [Part 1-1, Part 1-2, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7]

Some notes:

- The default name of Rei is used for the player character and was selected as male at the beginning of the game.

- I’m still on the fence on if I should be using honorifics or not. Your opinion on the matter would be greatly appreciated.

Click here to be taken to a pastebin with the translated dialogue or look under the read more to read it here. 

Section 8 – “At the Edge” (TL: Read as “kazuaru hazama-nite”)

Kazuma This is...

Ciel It’s very similar to the room we found hidden beneath Ishana.

Raabe So... this is the “innermost part.”

Hazama Oh? What’s with you guys all of a sudden? You’ve all got this shocked look on your faces. Have you guys been here before?

>We’ve been somewhere like this before. Hazama Really? Normally I’d ask to hear more about what sort of place that was but... Hazama We’re not exactly in the best place to be taking our time, wouldn’t you agree?

>Never seen it before in my life. Hazama Hey now, don’t just leave me in the dark like that. Hazama You’ll just make me even more curious if you keep it a secret, y’know. Hazama But... now isn’t really the best time to get into that, is it?

Fuzzy Raabe’s right though. This is the innermost part you guys have been so keen on getting to.

Fuzzy You brought those six keys here so you could activate the elements... and finally escape.

Raabe What happens next then?

Fuzzy You’ll just have to find out for yourself, right? You will, won’t you? Really though, even I don’t have any idea what’s supposed to happen next. Ahahaha.

Raabe We don’t have much of a choice either way, it would seem.

Kazuma As soon as we activate the elements, all of the mana we’ve collected will activate with them and accumulate around us.

Kazuma Much more mana than we’re used to will gather together in one place.

Hazama Will that be problematic for us?

Kazuma There’s no reason why it should be. This is probably the perfect place for it actually...

Fuzzy If you’re gonna go ahead and start it up, I’d let Kazuma do it. Since he’s a magician he should be used to working with mana and the elements already.

Ciel Kazuma-san, would you be willing to activate the elements for us?

Kazuma I, uh, yeah, I can do that. That shouldn’t be too difficult.

Kazuma Let’s see here...

Hazama You’ve looked like you’ve had something on your mind for a while now.

Hazama I agree that Kazuma-san’s the best suited out of all of us to carry this out but... don’t push yourself if you don’t think you can handle it.

Hazama If we really have to we can always looks for another way to activate them...

Kazuma ......

Kazuma ...No.

Kazuma I can do it.

Raabe Hey, hold on...

Hazama Are you sure?

Kazuma Yes. Please, allow me.

[a green magic circle appears, surrounded by the six elements]

Hazama Oh my... I can already feel how the air around us has changed. Looks like you managed to pull it off without a hitch after all.

Ciel Is this... activated mana? But this feeling, where have I...

Raabe It can't be. This is...! Hey, Kazuma! Stop whatever it is that you’re doing!

Kazuma ......

Raabe Are you even listening!? Earth to Kazuma!!

Kazuma ...Ah... it’s just like I thought. I was wondering... if that’s what it was...

>What’s wrong, Kazuma-san? >Who are you talking to?

Kazuma Who...

[a dark green shadow with veins and one glowing eye starts to materialize]

Hazama Uuh, guh, ghh....

Ciel Hazama-san? Is something wrong?

Hazama Please be careful... Something’s... coming...!

[the shadow becomes fully visible]

Raabe Wh... What’s going on?

Fuzzy Hmm, I wonder what it could be～? What do you think?

Fuzzy What about you, Rei? What do your “eyes” see? You can see it, can’t you?

Raabe Don’t look. ...I guess that’s impossible, huh. Try not to focus as much as you can. This... isn’t a collection of mana.

Ciel Raabe-san, Rei-san! We’ve got a problem.

Ciel I’ve confirmed the appearance of the cauldron.

Ciel But... there’s nothing around here that looks like it could be the cauldron. And if there’s a cauldron here, then who is the Observer...?

Raabe They’re both right in front of us.

Ciel Eh? Wh-What do you mean?

Raabe The cauldron came into existence across this entire world the moment this guy appeared. In other words, that shadow... it’s the Observer.

Raabe It’s also the cauldron. There’s no other explanation for this sort of reaction. This much condensed seithr... this is the cauldron.

Hazama What’s that now? Seithr?

Hazama You mean what Kazuma-san’s magic is activating right now isn’t...

Raabe It’s not the elements or mana, no. It’s seithr!

??? Ahh～ god, you losers took fore～ver to show up.

Ciel !?

??? Shit though, you guys sure have been through a lot, huh? But thanks to you I can talk as much as I want again.

>The shadow spoke! ??? Kyahahahaha, just a shadow, eh... Well, I guess that’ll have to do for now.

>Who are you? ??? What, you wanna know my name? You really wanna know who I am? Sure, I’ll humor you...

Kazuma ...Yuuki Terumi...

Spirit Terumi Oops, looks like you beat me to it. But yeah, the kid’s right. Don’t go forgetting it, numbskulls.

Spirit Terumi Yuuki Terumi. That’s the name, folks.

Hazama You were lurking inside of me.

Hazama Earlier when we were fighting Saya-san, she said she had sensed something within me... I wasn’t entirely sure what she meant at the time.

Hazama I had no idea that it would turn out to be something like this.

Spirit Terumi Hyahahahaha! Damn, I didn’t realize you were so out of the loop, Hazama-chan.

Ciel So you’re familiar with Hazama-san as well.

Spirit Terumi Oh yeah, best of buddies, thickest of thieves, call it what you like but we’re rea～l intimate. In fact, I know all you guys.

Spirit Terumi You’re the morons who’ve been running all over the city doing my dirty work for me. Hyahahahahahaha!

Kazuma So you were... using us? Does that mean that Fuzzy-san was also...?

Fuzzy Can’t say I know about any of this. I’m only here to fulfill my role. Really I’m just a pawn here.

Fuzzy You guys are all just pawns too. But even the pawns are necessary in the end, right? It’s not really a game if all the pieces aren’t in order, after all.

Spirit Terumi The trap over here gets it. And now since you’ve been such good little slaves so far, how’s about you do me one last teensy-weensy favor...

Spirit Terumi And die for me, will you? Hyahahahahaha!

Raabe I see now. We’ve been playing right into his hands this entire time.

Raabe When Kazuma started the activation sequence, he wasn’t channeling the mana or the elements. He wound up summoning this guy instead.

Ciel No way... Then does that mean the whole story about escaping from the city was a lie?

Spirit Terumi Come on, even if I’m not that cruel. I’ll still let you guys out.

Spirit Terumi All aboard the Terumi express! Now serving a one-way trip straight into the Boundary! Just make sure to keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle, or you might lose them!

Hazama Are you always this egotistical?

Hazama Things may have gone your way up until now, but we’re not going to just stand here and let you do whatever you want.

Hazama ...It was wrong of me to bring you all this way when I sensed something was amiss, no matter how small it may have been.

Hazama Looks like I got you all mixed up in something undesirable after all... I’m really sorry, Rei-san.

Hazama But I don’t think I’ll be able to handle this one by myself. I’m afraid I must ask for your assistance one last time.

>Let’s all get out of here together. Hazama Thank you. I’m... truly glad to have met you.

>Let’s kick his ass and get the hell out of here! Spirit Terumi Ooh, someone’s a little touchy. That sort of enthusiasm is contagious, y’know.

Ciel Assuming combat position. All eyes on target. Ready when you are!

Raabe His form is still unstable. It’s hard to say if his existence has fully taken root yet or not.

Raabe The reaction he’s giving off is definitely strong but... he might not be able to use the full extent of his power the way he is now.

Raabe We need to strike before all of the seithr has finished gathering in one place. Let’s get this over with quickly.

Fuzzy Go, go! You can do it!

Hazama Are you ready for this, Kazuma-san?

Kazuma Ah, uh... Right.

Spirit Terumi Oh? You wouldn’t really team up against little ol’ me, would you? Heheheheh.

Hazama Well then. Let’s go, Terumi-san.

Spirit Terumi Guh, shit...! My power... no, none of this shit. None of it’s good enough!

Kazuma ......

Fuzzy Whoa. You guys really creamed him.

Hazama ...I think that shadow inside of me... Terumi-san detached himself completely from me during the course of that fight.

Hazama It’s the strangest feeling. It’s unsettling but also like a... weight’s been lifted, in a sense.

Spirit Terumi Ha, haha... Hyahahaha...! Damn, that really could’ve gone better.

Spirit Terumi I guess you win this one. I really lost to some lame spin-off side characters. Ain’t that right?

Kazuma Yes. I... think that’s what happened.

Spirit Terumi Heh, hahahaah! Yeah, them’s the breaks, huh. Tch, what a pain in the ass.

Spirit Terumi Man, this sucks... you’re really blue-balling me here. Taking on a bunch of pussies like you should’ve been a joke.

Spirit Terumi Sure screwed myself on that one.

Kazuma ...Please send us back.

Kazuma As long as you do that... I don’t think we’ll have to hurt you anymore.

Spirit Terumi Ha! Hurt me? You really think you can hurt me? Hyahaha, you don’t have a lot going on underneath that pretty face, do you, kid?

Spirit Terumi Don’t make me laugh.

Ciel Are you going to continue resisting?

Spirit Terumi Oooh, close but no cigar! This isn’t what you’d call resistance...

Spirit Terumi This is an escape!

[static]

Kazuma ...Ah. H-Huh?

Ciel This is...

>It’s Ishana! Kazuma Yes, this is Ishana. It’s the same place we were before we found ourselves in that strange city...

>Are we back? Ciel ...It would appear so. This is where we were standing before we were taken to that strange city.

Ciel But what does this mean? It’s safe to say that we took out the Observer but we weren’t able to destroy the Cauldron...

Ciel Regardless... we managed to escape the Phantom Field.

Raabe I still need to look into everything further so this is just a hypothesis for now, but...

Raabe I don’t think that city was an undiscovered Phantom Field.

Raabe It’s foundation was built on Ishana who had already lost its Observer.

Raabe Using the power of Observation, that shadow calling itself Terumi must have found its way in and overwrote things when it took over.

Kazuma So it was... re-Observed?

Raabe That’s exactly what it was.

Raabe In other words, we weren’t so much moved somewhere else as it was our surroundings themselves were changing before our eyes... That’s probably what happened.

Hazama Well, it was certainly an experience I could have lived without and I’m still not overly sure how any of it was possible but...

Hazama Everything worked out in the end, right?

Hazama We all made it out safe and sound. Let’s be thankful for that, shall we?

Hazama Ahh～, truly all’s well that ends well.

Ciel Hazama-san. And Fuzzy-san, too. The two of you came back to Ishana as well I see.

Fuzzy Bzzt, wrong answer. Really, did you hear a thing Raabe just said? None of us actually came back anywhere.

Fuzzy We were all just sort of displaced.

Ciel Ah, so we were. So then would Fuzzy-san and Hazama-san be considered foreign entities in this situation?

Raabe There’s no way to know for sure what the Phantom Field has classified them as but... that’s probably the case.

Raabe Neither of them are involved with Ishana.

Hazama Hmm～, while this place does look incredibly delightful, I’m afraid this isn’t where I belong.

Fuzzy Me either. I’m not getting any good vibes from the ambience around here. I don’t think I’d fit in very well.

Raabe ...Once a Phantom Field has been liberated of its Observer, any foreign materials left behind should gradually start to return to where they were originally from.

Raabe Here soon your existential information should be sent back to your own worlds.

Fuzzy I guess we’re stuck hanging around here until that happens, huh～.

Fuzzy Well, not like it matters. I’ve never been here before so there’s no harm in exploring a bit. Don’t you think?

[Fuzzy leaves]

Hazama And there he goes. I suppose it’s best to just let him have his fun while he can.

Hazama But more importantly... Rei-san, Ciel-san, Kazuma-san, Raabe-san.

Hazama Thank you all so much for your help.

Hazama When I was still wandering around all by myself, I was at a loss as to what I was supposed to do...

Hazama But as soon as I joined up with you guys, everything just sort of naturally clicked into place.

Hazama A lot happened back there, but I want you to know that from the bottom of my heart I’m grateful we were able to escape from that bizarre city.

Raabe ...Is that all you have to say? I can’t say I’m very convinced.

Raabe It still feels like you’ve been manipulating us this entire time.

Hazama Don’t be ridiculous! It must’ve been fate that I ran into you when I did. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.

Hazama I’d even go so far as to say that you saved me.

Hazama I’m honestly in your debt. If you ever need an extra hand for something, I’ll be sure to do everything in my power to help you out.

Hazama Then again... I can’t guarantee that the me you’ll encounter then will be the same as I am now.

Hazama Let’s do this the right way this time. My name is Hazama. It’s a pleasure to meet you.

Hazama Rei-san.

>Pleased to meet you.

Hazama Yes. I wish you all the best.

Ciel ......

Raabe ...We still need to head back and check the data to see if this was indeed the abnormality the System was detecting.

Raabe We’ve overstayed our welcome. Let’s return to base.

Kazuma ...I guess this is goodbye then.

Kazuma Hadn’t you said earlier that you couldn’t stay for long?

Ciel That’s correct. We’re still only outsiders in this world.

Kazuma ......

Kazuma ...I’m really glad I was able to see you again. Getting to spend more time together... it was really fun.

Kazuma I feel like I know myself a little better now.

Kazuma Thank you so much.

Ciel There’s no need to thank us. We were merely here for our mission.

Kazuma You’re as blunt as always, Ciel-san...

Kazuma ...I think I have my own perplexing “mission” in front of me... nevermind. Hang in there for me, will you?

Kazuma I’m rooting for you.

>Thank you. >Good luck, Kazuma-san.

[static]

Kagami Rei! Ciel! Thank god you guys made it back in one piece～!

Ciel Oh. You startled me. What’s the matter, Kagami-san? You seem out of sorts.

Kagami Well, what did you expect!? Almost as soon as you two got in you just fell off the grid!

Kagami I wasn’t able to pinpoint where either of were for a long time...

Kagami Your signals only reappeared inside Ishana’s Phantom Field a little while ago, y’know!

Kagami So what happened? Nevermind, it’ll be faster to get the answers from Raabe’s internal data.

Kagami Either way, I’ll get an investigation started. First you guys need to go get a medical check.

Kagami And watch yourselves this time, got it!?

Ciel Y-Yes, ma’am.

Kagami I  can’t let you out of my sight for even a second. Geez...

[Kagami leaves]

Ciel It would seem we’ve caused quite the stir in our absence.

Ciel Let’s head to the medical room. I’ll go with you, Rei-san.

Hazama So this is supposed to be the famous Ishana, huh? Now that I’ve finally gotten a good look at it, it truly is nothing more than a ghost town.

Hazama ...Well then. I wonder where I should be heading next? With the help of those suckers, I was able to remove the chain that was inside me.

Hazama I should be able to go just about anywhere now.

Hazama At any rate, Terumi-san is right back where he should be. Although I can’t say I’m overly thrilled that he left me to do all the grunt work by myself.

Hazama ...I would have been in quite the bind if it weren’t for that boy, though. Heheh.

Hazama But still, what a successful endeavor that turned out to be!

Hazama For me, for Terumi-san... Even for him.

Hazama “End Gazer”... The One Who Sees the End. I can’t wait to see how this will play out.

Kazuma ......

Kazuma Ishana... All these years here, and I still haven’t learned a thing.

Kazuma But... I feel like I finally know why I’m here... Just a little...

Kazuma I feel like I’m home.

https://imgur.com/a/VfNvhRF

[thedispatched]

Idk why on the laptop there’s a character limit but not the phone 😒 it’s so much easier on the laptop but I will make this work.

But I’m on Twitter and this popped up from someone I followed about the fanbar closing and what was wrong with it. I don't read Chinese unfortunately because I was terrible at studying lol so I cannot say that the translation is 100% correct but I feel like the gist of it is understood.

https:// twitter. com/miki19100263/status/1432177919275589634

I put some spaces between the link cause Idk how Tumblr accepts them. Again if ppl really want the truth and for this shit to make sense I feel like they can look at ALL information including this and just not the really loud blogs or posts that seem to have labeled guilty because from what I see those are the ones getting the most attention and traction. And again if people are so quick to believe everything that is said maybe you can believe this too.

I read from somewhere a long while ten would get some comments but not to the amount lucas gets. My brain is fried. But I liked that ten and yy got to be on yuri’s cooking show. I know she’s from the same company but the interactions were cute and you could see how shy and starstruck they were lol like hey they can interact with ppl outside the nct circle. a part of me also feels like because they aren’t Korean it might be idk a bit harder for booking them on more Korean programming. You can correct me! Off the top of my head I can think of yuqi who is Chinese doing this series in korea last year/this year but she was also casted on KR so idk if that played a role.

I echo the choosing sides without knowing everything. the hardest part is that if someone doubts any parts of the victim you are immediately labeled an asshole and called out for the reasons victims don’t come forward because no one believes them. Everyone just keeps repeating victims are important and that they rather believe a victim instead of accidentally defend a potential sa/r-pist because it’s damaging to the victim and their mental health. But do these people ever think too about what if he really didn’t do this yet everyone is calling him to be removed and condemning him for sa. That shit is dangerous on someone’s life! And then it’s yeah of course you don’t believe the victim because of this person that’s being accused. No, just stop. Do people understand how terrible it is to be accused of something and found guilty without all the facts? I’m not just picking whoever is guilty or not. I just want all the information! I’m not defending him and I’m not saying who is guilty or innocent but what the mass of people on social media becoming a terrifying mob is going about this is stupid and all wrong because I’m seeing too much excitement and laughter from some people which is disturbing.

I went off . that first sentence you typed set me off

if anyone wants to read the tweet anon linked

first, if i came off as someone who believes he's guilty, i apologize as that wasn't my intention. the original post i made wasn't reflecting my opinion, just stuff i found talking about how c-ent works, what's going on on weibo, and all that.

i, personally, just want information before blindly "choosing" a side and am open to whatever information anyone can provide. i have seen lots of my faves get their lives ruin by false rumors and i hate for it to happen to more people.

but like i said before, based on all the info i've seen on how c-ent works, it'd be hard for him to come back even if he is innocent. (also genuinely curious as to how you can even prove you’re innocent in situations like these as it'd be pretty tough).

sm does need to say something though as leaving this open ended will not do them any favors, staying silent is escalating the situation, and people remember things for a long time.

second, thank you for the information regarding lucas bar. i'm going to say that if this is true (as we don't know if any proof/info is true), i wouldn't be entirely surprised as i've seen similar things happen before. i feel really sorry for lucas if his cbar was that way and i hope if a new cbar comes out their intentions are for him and not themselves. (i'll make an edit and link the tweet in my post)

third, honestly i never understood how some kpop stans can say 'support the victim' but the moment it's about their faves they think the victims are lying. kpop stans can be so hypocritical it's sickening.

and yes, i do worry about this could be affecting him. people need to be more careful on what they say and do as we don't know what's true and what isn't. (some people also need to be respectful to each other. the shit i see on twt is....)

a large portion on stan twitter in general is mob mentality/jumping on bandwagon hate and it's one of the reasons why i hate it there. especially those who know nothing about the situation but insist on opening their mouths 😐

fourth, ten and yy on yuri's cooking show was so cute 🥺i really wanna see them (wayv) on more stuff and interact with people outside of nct. i'm excited to see that on we became a family.

i, personally do think because they aren't korean it would be harder to get them booked on k-shows. i feel like foreigners mostly get on when it fits the concept or if the company pushes it. i say that based on all the variety shows i watched.

the person i got the lucas getting casted on keep running from said yuqi too so i assume she was recommended by sk producers as well but i'm not familiar with her so i can't say for sure.

i hope i addressed everything~

[knit-wear-it]

Drunk Tank

Mood: (Harley x Ledger!Joker) Harley sees the Joker drunk for the first time. A little window into their relationship after the initial high of getting together has passed, and they’re still settling into living together. This period of time is probably the sweet spot for prompts, btw. 

Rating: Domestic 💯

Prompt: From Anon, Harley & J get drunk together or one of them reacts to the other getting drunk.

Drunk Tank, a Harlequin-Tumblr-Exclusive

It was mid-October, just a week after Harley and the Joker’s tussle with the Odessa gang, which of course, ended with Harley murdering their leader Boris Kosov via a brick to the skull. What was she supposed to do, let him live?

Black Canary arrived shortly thereafter, and now Harley was sporting three broken fingers on her right hand as a result of the fight that followed. They were taped up and splinted, rendering her remarkably useless. You couldn’t shoot with broken fingers, let alone be effective with a knife or any other kind of weapon. It was a frustrating injury, and made her feel like a liability, her hand tucked in her coat as she stood to the side while the Joker did the busy work.

Being useless was not something Harley Quinn was well-equipped to deal with, making her feel sulky and even a little depressed.

She and the Joker were almost two months into their experiment in togetherness, and Harley was still riding the wave of certainty and freedom that came with giving in to whatever this thing was between them. She couldn’t define it; she just knew it was there, vibrating at some higher frequency, and making her feel invincible.

Invincible until her own physicality got in the way, it seemed.

They were hardly a ‘talking about their feelings’ couple, but Harley sensed he was annoyed with her moodiness over being injured. He didn’t taunt her about it, which Harley interpreted as a choice to not make her feel worse, a genuinely surprising development. Obviously, there was no sympathy, and no attempt to cheer her up. He just wasn’t making it worse.

Over the last few days, she’d taken to hibernating, and he’d been out with increasing frequency. Maybe avoiding her. Maybe he just wanted to be out. Harley wasn’t sure what to make of it.

She knew the Joker better than anyone, and for the most part she could read him like an open book. Especially when things were good — the giddiness of companionship, the thrill of something new and head-spinningly good elevating everything. But they were only human, and things couldn’t always be good. They definitely couldn’t always be new.

That night J was out with Marty, leaving Harley at the safe house to sulk over her broken fingers and indulge in moody thoughts about the Joker losing interest in her. She didn’t really believe it would be that simple, but she was depressed, and it was morbidly satisfying to go to the darker corners of her mind.

It was edging up to 3 AM, and she was in bed watching reruns of Made in the Diamond District on an old laptop missing most of its keys. Ivania Dumas had just thrown a shoe at Bobby Kennedy’s head when Harley heard the loud creak of the window in the living room opening. Her head snapped up at the CRASH that followed, prompting her to jump out of bed and grab the handgun tucked in a holster slung over the headboard.

Harley sidled up to the bedroom door, flicking the safety off her piece and pressing her back against the wall.

Then there was a gruff sing-songy grumbling out in the living room, making her eyes widen as she realized this was no unlucky burglar.

She stepped out of the bedroom and slapped the light on at the wall, a pair of sconces blinking on, dimly illuminating the cramped kitchen and living room area.

The Joker was sitting on the floor beneath the narrow, horizontal window, having apparently rolled through it and fallen to the floor.  His legs were splayed out in front of him, his green-stained hair flopping over his forehead, his warpaint mostly wiped away apart from some black clinging to his eyelashes and red staining his lips.

He blinked rapidly under the lights, squinting up at Harley as she drew closer, her brow furrowed, confused.

“Wait-wait,” he slurred, smirking as he stretched both arms up toward her, swaying. “Don’t shoot, officer. I’m uh… I’m innocent.”

He giggled shrilly and Harley’s eyes widened even further as she realized what she was seeing.

“Are you… drunk?” she demanded, incredulous.

The Joker swayed forward, squeezing his eyes shut as he giggled to himself.

Harley set the gun aside on the kitchen counter, unsure how to react. She’d never seen him drunk before, and she’d never been drunk in his presence either. There just wasn’t time for it. Sure, neither of them would turn down a drink, especially after some especially chaotic work, but it was crucial to be present when you were wanted terrorists constantly on the run from the Batman.

“So, I guess you and Marty had some fun?” she asked tentatively, undeniably curious about this development.

“Mmm,” the Joker nodded sluggishly and shrugged out of his coat, leaving it in a puddle on the floor behind him.

Harley watched him try to push himself up twice only to fall on his ass both times. On his third attempt she stepped forward and grabbed him by the elbow, hauling him to his feet.

The Joker promptly lost his balance and staggered forward into Harley. She caught him by the lapels, but he forced her backward, his hands closed around her waist, fisting into her oversized tee shirt. Harley’s back hit the counter separating the tiny kitchen from the living room, her spine striking the edge, sending a fissure of irritation rolling through her.

“Hey!” she yelped, punching him on the arm with her good hand.

But the Joker just chuckled slyly and proceeded to tug her tee shirt up to reveal the black bikini-briefs she wore beneath. Then he swayed backwards, squinting down at them.

“Dawwwwww,” he cooed, sounding disappointed. “You’re wearing… panties.”

Before Harley could respond, his attention had already shifted. He dropped her shirt in favour of sliding both gloved hands into her hair, which was already greasy and wavy. He rocked back on his heels unsteadily as he flexed his fingers against her scalp, zhuzing her hair to make it big and fluffy before he released her to get a look at his work.

“Mmm,” he blinked at her sleepily, and tucked one messy lock of hair behind her ear.

“Wow,” Harley laughed, not knowing how else to respond to this bizarre behaviour.

“Ya know, there was a girl tonight,” the Joker smoothed her hair back from her face, his gloves snagging a few honey blonde strands, as ungentle as ever.

“A girl?” Harley’s eyebrows rose curiously.

“Mm,” he nodded and flapped one hand carelessly. “My uh… animal magnetism is impossible to ignore.”

“Did she tell you that?” Harley fought back a smile.

“Oohhhh,” he waggled his eyebrows suggestively. “It was uh, pretty obvious when she climbed into my lap.” 

“Really?” Harley pressed her lips together, trying not to laugh. “Did she realize who you are?”

“Psshhht,” the Joker hissed through his teeth, which might have meant he had no idea and didn’t care. “But I said… sorry sweetheart,” he slapped a hand over his heart dramatically. “I’m taken.”

“That’s good to hear,” Harley deadpanned, smirking.

“And she said, awwww, is she gonna get jealous.” His eyes grew heavy as he dramatized the retelling. “And I said, kitty-cat my girl don’t do jealous.”

Harley snorted, amused. But he wasn’t done yet.

“And she went, I bet I can make her jealous.” He threaded his fingers into Harley’s hair again, piling it up on top of her head this time. “And I said, honey, you don’t know my girl. She...” He growled quietly, his eyes suddenly intense as they trailed over Harley’s face, making her heart leap. “She’s a real pistol…”

He tipped forward suddenly, ostensibly going in for a kiss, but his nose crashed into Harley’s cheek, his fingers in her hair pulling at her scalp.

“Alright, Casanova,” Harley pushed on his chest and he swayed backward, his hands falling out of her hair. “Are you hungry?”

“Mmmmmmm,” he seemed to confirm with one big lazy nod. Then he yanked her shirt up to get a look at her panties again.

“Hungry for food,” Harley clarified, grinning openly as she pushed him away.

He staggered back, struggling out of his blazer while Harley circled into the kitchen to dig out left-over Caribbean food from the fridge. As she threw it into the microwave, the Joker stumbled into the bedroom, making Harley laugh softly as she listened to him crash into things trying to get undressed. She wasn’t entirely sure what to make of it, except that with his already-microscopic inhibitions lowered, some exceptionally fond feelings for her were floating to the surface of a brain usually concerned with more practical matters.

Harley examined her splinted fingers, the anxiety that she was annoying him with her ‘moodiness’ dissipating. Maybe he had been annoyed, but if this… affection for her was what was beneath that…

Harley sighed, trying not to beam stupidly as she grabbed the food out of the microwave. 

She stepped into the bedroom to find the Joker had divested himself of his clothes, and was sprawled out on the bed naked, attempting to light a poorly rolled cigarette with a disposable lighter.

“That’s dignified,” Harley drawled, handing him the box of take out, distracting him from the cigarette, which he promptly threw across the room in favour of the food.

Harley smiled and shook her head, circling to her side of the bed. She slid into the same position she’d been in before her partner staggered home drunk, demanding her attention. Feeling outrageously content, she tapped on the laptop to the episode playing, thinking that even shit-faced, the Joker was still an agent of chaos.

Just a far less threatening variety of it.

Fin

A/N: For the record, the Joker was totally out drinking with Marty to avoid Harley sulking over her broken fingers, haha. This is a perfect little look at their relationship before this weekend’s new chapter of the Pantomime. 

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"Alright, Casanova” 👇 LOL.

[mariaiscrafting]

can i ask why you dislike dream? im not being passive agressive or something lol i am genuinely curious

S’all good, kinda figured you weren’t being, and a lot of people have asked me this lol. There are so many reasons, and I’ve said this so many times already, but I’ll try to go over some of the main things I can remember:

1) Arrogance: kinda put me off how he’s always responded to criticism. Always kinda had an air of superiority about shit, and it never really bothered me on its own because I think lots of CCs are arrogant & I’m arrogant myself, but combined with all of the following, it became a reason for me to dislike him lol

2) Manipulation of his audience: look, I kinda always knew that CCs with huge fanbases, especially CCs who grow this quickly, have some kind of grasp of how to treat and foster their audience to their greatest advantage. I’ve always been wary of CCs that put on soft or nice personalities, especially since the whole Shane Dawson debacle. But with Dream, it’s been a whole other thing ever since his cheating response video, and I’ve never been able to see him in a good light in regard to how he responds to his fans, ever since. I went into it in a lot more detail back when I first watched the video, the day it dropped, but I’m too exhausted to scrounge that post up, so I’ll summarize: that video had a very specific strategy that he used to victimize himself and appeal to his fans’ compassion for him, and after rewatching the video for the third time that day, it felt gross and calculated to me. The way that he focuses very little on the actual mathematical part of his argument. The way he frames the issue of the mods having favoritism or bias. It was already proven on Reddit and throughout Twitter that the numbers the mods looked at were for good reason, and not because they just wanted to pick the numbers that made Dream look the worst, but that’s how he framed the argument. When I logged onto Twitter and Tumblr that day, there were thousands of fans who had latched onto what he said in the latter half of that video and coming to Dream’s defense, and that’s kinda when it hit me: this guy fucking knows what he’s doing, and he’s doing it well, and I really really dislike it. There’s about a hundred other ways he manipulates his audience, including not coming to people’s defenses when huge chunks of his audience attack them (even though the people had respectful and correct criticisms of him), defending stans so adamantly in the face of antis, and posting periodic alt tweets that help garner the illusion that he super cares about his fans; but, that cheating response video was the major red flag, for me.

3) Cheating & lying: as is likely no surprise to y’all, I think Dream cheated lmao. At first, I was ecstatic that he had actually made a detailed response video and put out a report with the help of an actual professional, but as I read up on his supposed statistical argument and dissected the parts of his argument that felt off to me, I realized maybe he had cheated. Talking to some STEM major friends of mine, who weren’t into MCYT but had obviously heard about the whole debacle because they like Twitter and Minecraft, kinda put the nail in the coffin for me. I’m not nearly smart enough or have a good enough memory to detail exactly why I think he cheated on this blog, right now, in April, but essentially: his main argument relied upon claiming mod bias, instead of a sound mathematical or statistical argument; there’s no way of proving that the world files he provided to the mods and in the open source weren’t altered; the statistical problems he points out (i.e., stopping effect) don’t actually skew the original mods’ model nearly as much as his supposed PhD guy would say; and the odds he comes up with might not be nearly as impossible as 1 in 7 trillion, but they still come up to around 1 in 100 million, which is still fucking ridiculous, considering that there are only, like, 120 million people in the world who play Minecraft.  Not impossible, but laughable that he expects people to believe that. But... I guess they did, lmao. The thing that peeved me the most about the whole thing was the adamant lying lmao. When you look at the situation from the perspective of “dream cheated,” you realize just how fucked up all his Twitter responses, his adamance in streams and that video, and the general mood among his friends is... idk man, it’s just highly fucked.

4) Relationship with stans: look, there are significant numbers of  his fans that take part in Twitter cancelling vendettas, who spread around information about other CCs and their fellow fans that is false and meant to villify them, etc., and he never fucking says anything. It really, really bothers me. There are too many instances to enumerate, but a few that have caught my eye were when Dream stans would attack Techno, prior to their battle and when a Native American woman politely explained why he shouldn’t use Native music, he responded and said he wouldn’t, but tons of stans continued to attack her in her replies for “being so harsh/mean.” Like, he knows that just one word from him will make his fandom follow his beck and call. All it would’ve taken was one fucking word. There are so many fucking people that have been harrassed off of social media platforms because of the hivemind that is dttwt, for christ’s sake.

5) Reddit posts: All of the above were reasons for me to mildly dislike the guy prior to the Reddit posts, but they weren’t really enough to make me stop posting about c!Dream or reblogging fanart or reading DNF fics or watching Manhunts. I kinda just clowned on the guy, answered the occasional ask about the cheating thing or something related, and left it at that. The Reddit posts not only pissed me off for their content, but for the lying, as well. Do you think I fucking cared about him cheating at speedrunning Minecraft, of all games? Fuck no. What I cared about was the adamant lying that went into the whole debacle. Kinda the same with the Reddit posts. I’m one to usually forgive creators who acknowledge past errors, obviously. It is creators who try to brush stuff off, or even worse, create an elaborate lie to cover up allegations, that put me off a fuck ton. This is the reason I could never be comfortable with watching Pewdipie after I realized all the shit he had brushed off, and it’s now the reason I can’t go back to watching Dream. There is so much evidence that points to guilt, including but not limited to: his first move when the slideshow dropped (before posting to Twitter) being deleting as many old Discord messages as he could, the contradiction between him at first denying the account was his at all then changing the story to say he shared it with a friend, the wording and phrasing in the political posts being almost identical to the non-political posts that were clearly him (i.e., the one that explains his demographics perfectly), and the timing of the political posts (some of them being posted mere minutes after posts that were verifiably him, like the picture of Patches to the cats subreddit). People can claim that he’s likely changed, and what this it matter, as long as politics don’t affect his work now, but I can’t believe this fundamental misunderstanding of why bigotry in entertainment matters. I’ve always had a problem with the adoration this fandom has for cishet white men, and the constant criticism of non-cishet, non-white, non-men, but this really feels like the final slap in the fucking face. It’s like everyone truly believes that it doesn’t matter, that his beliefs couldn’t have possibly affected the way he’s treated fellow CCs in his circles or any of the number of people that depend upon Dream, directly and indirectly, for employment/CC clout. It’s like everyone truly believes that political ideology has no effect on the way we perceive, treat, and behave around other people in literally any field, not just politics. I, just... Christ. I don’t really wanna unpack my emotions about this whole thing right now, so I won’t. I’ll just say: I dislike Trump supporters and ex-Trump supporters alike, I dislike conservatives who claim they’re centrists (every fucking guy my age does this, it’s infuriating and makes me want to bash my head into the nearest wall), I dislike people who levy their fans against criticism - even when it’s righteous - and I dislike people who lie about their past actions; Dream fits all those categories, so I dislike him.