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hollyhomburg · 4 years ago

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Before I Leave You (Pt.5)

(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

Summary: Someone always has to leave first; They just didn’t expect Yoongi to come back with a new omega (who’s clearly been through some shit).

Pairing: Beta! Yoongi, Omega! Reader, Omega! Jungkook, Omega! Seokjin, Alpha! Namjoon, Alpha! Hoseok, Alpha! Taehyung, Alpha! Jimin,

Tags: Mute main character, brief violence and blood, themes of jealousy and betrayal, fluff, cuddling, reuniting, stimming, internalized transphobia, Trans! Tae, internalized misgendering, negative self-talk, abandonment issues,

W/c: 9.5k

A/n: some of this chapter will be hard to get through if you’re trans or at all questioning your gender. I wrote Tae’s character as a reflection of my own difficulties coming to terms with my gender, which wasn’t pure or perfect by any standard. There are moments where I switch pronoun usage for Tae as a part of Tae’s internal monologue, and it’s important for me to tell you that I’m never purposefully misgendering Tae- that's just her own internal monologue talking. but we are working our way towards mommy Tae!

Previous part — Masterlist

Part 5: An Unlikely Enemy

Jimin barely manages to school his face into a blank slate. A pregnant second passing before Yoongi helps him up, pulling himself up and out of the floor. he’d only fallen just through, past the first 8 or so inches until he hit the baseboards. Yoongi blushes and apologizes furiously. His hand remains on Jim's upper arm lingering long after it should, and it makes his skin sting dully with the memory of countless other touches.

“It’s okay- I get it, your house is shitty and old.” Yoongi huffs, equally delighted as he is miffed.

Jimin is stunned still looking at you but desperately trying not to stare, especially when you hide your mouth with your hand, maybe hiding a smile or a giggle. It’s hard to see anything under the layer of the blue blanket, which guards your body from him like a shroud.

Jimin is keenly aware of Yoongi’s presence, watching Jimin as he watches you, all variety of the words ‘fuck’ and ‘shit’ hitting him like a fucking battering ram.

Jimin is generally good during a crisis, but this is god damn apocalyptic.

Feeling his heart drop the more he looks at you and takes in the reality of the situation. Yoongi and this omega who smells like him so fucking much, like you’d been freshly scented this morning. Someone who he doesn’t know at all who has become inexplicably close with one of the most important people in Jimin’s life. Or at least- someone who used to be the most important person to Jimin.

You blink up at him, slowly, maybe a little bit like a cat would. But also like you're measuring him, trying to figure out if he's a threat or not. Your scent, The scent of rain builds into a crescendo until it breaks, and suddenly Jimin feels like he's in the middle of a bakery.

When you step close to Yoongi, he pulls you in easily, hands a protective cage around your shoulders. Hands that go to soothe you the second they touch you- like it’s written and memorized.

Jimin feels like he’s going to vomit. Because if you’re like this- leaning into Yoongi’s arms, nuzzling into him without thought of an audience. Jimin isn’t going to be able to stomach trying to steal Yoongi away from you Like he’d already semi-planned in the entryway when he realized there were two different sizes of shoes instead of just one.

Your cheek squishes against Yoongi’s chest as you look up at Jimin, pressing close to him like you need his skin against yours- can't live without it. A minute bit of tension in Yoongi releases.

From this angle Jimin can see Yoongi’s wide hands slip under the blanket to settle on your waist, fiddling with the hem of your shirt, fluffing your scent out into open air. Fluffy bread- freshly baked or cake- you smell like fucking birthday cake hints of chocolate and mindless sweetness. Making him salivate like a little kid on his birthday. A hit at the end of your scent, like burning out candles too.

You make a small startled noise, looking at his shoe, the little splinters sticking into the side of it, Jimin feels hot all of a sudden. "It’s okay, they didn't go too far in."

Stupid instincts.

Stupid fucking instincts, something in Jimin’s chest is all tight looking at you; craning his neck, trying to find something you should be afraid of so he can bully it away.

Jimin is about ready to start checking the closet for monsters.

But there is only one thing you could have possibly been afraid of here, and that's Jimin. You don’t say hello- and his chest stings with a bit of something before Yoongi pets over your head apparently used to it and unbothered by your unmoving mouth. Jimin feels sort of like he's saying hello with his hands instead of with words. You scent mark Yoongi slightly, just a little. A low purr building in your chest.

Yoongi makes a face that you can’t see. His dark eyes caution and beg Jimin not to say anything too harsh. “Do you wanna go get some lemonade sweetheart? And we can sit out on the porch together, yeah? Are you feeling up to it?”

After a moment where you look like you’re weighing your options you nod. You know Yoongi would let you go and rest instead of meeting this stranger- but there is something about his scent that has you leaning in. The knot in your stomach is relaxing.

The happy little cocoon of you and that blanket moves, The edge trailing on the floor a tiny bit as you pad gently to the kitchen. Your socked feet slapping happily against the floor.

Without your scent all around him, Jimin can shake off the daze and he can finally think clearly, What the actual fuck is going on.

Yoongi doesn’t look frustrated by your lack of response or lack of consideration for dirtying the edge of the blanket- he just looks hopelessly endeared. Apparently soothed and trusting in Yoongi’s measurement of Jimin enough to not hide yourself away. If Yoongi’s not freaking out about Jimin’s presence in the house- then you won’t.

Jimin feels his heart deflate. If Yoongi sees the sudden sadness in his eyes he doesn’t say anything about it.

“Don’t expect her to talk alright? She has good days and bad days and today is verging on a bad day.” Yoongi says seriously like the information is life and death.

How had This stranger charmed their Yoongi into giving her this love? The kind that has him measuring your condition the same way Jimin has seen the beta do to the rest of the pack time and time again. With every flu or stomach bug, Yoongi had leveled them with the same amount of concern.

Jimin wonders what illness you're sick with.

Jimin feels like he’s flip-flopping between hating you on principle and being hopelessly irrevocably- fond.

“Did she- did something happen to her?” Jimin has his suspicions after just a few minutes with you. His brain working overtime to make sense of all of this.

Yoongi’s head tilts down, his hair hiding his eyes as he grabs Jimin’s sleeve and pulls him in your direction, teeth gritted around the words “yes.”

Yoongi just doesn’t get angry.

Jimin doesn’t have any memory of Yoongi ever acting out in anger or even shouting. he's just not the kind of man to get angry, even over big things. Not when Jungkook had spilled beer on his expensive sound system or when Namjoon had accidentally burned a hole in his favorite sweatshirt.

He says supplies no other explanation. Not that Jimin is entitled to know precisely what happened to you. He’s barely even known you existed for 10 minutes.

Whoever did it- whoever hurt you surely hasn’t paid the price for him to feel so angry over it. They can’t have. If Yoongi is still so pissed off that he makes the whole house smell like the bottom of the ocean.

Before Jimin can realize it his body is putting out relaxing pheromones to comfort Yoongi, calming his agitated scent. No matter how much he wants to deny it; something in Jimin’s subconcious still considers Yoongi a part of their pack. And Yoongi looks soft were 2 moments ago he looked about ready to take a sledgehammer to a wall.

There is already lemonade set out on the scant outdoor furniture by the time they wind their way through the hallways. The furniture is Miss matched, like half of it was bought at a yard sale but the cushions are thick and wide enough for Jimin to feel like he's slouching no matter how he sits.

It’s still a little cold outside in the mid-may chill, but it’s the nicest day of spring so far. You’ve forgone the blanket, so light of a blue it's nearly white, it hangs on some of the hooks inside the door, meant for jackets, piled up. Yoongi fixes it so that its not on the floor at all.

Jimin can’t help but stare. You’re not turned in their direction, cheek against your knee pulled up against your waist. leaning your cheek on the back of the outdoor couch like you can’t keep yourself up properly. You’re still in your pajamas even though it’s nearly 3 pm. Your pajamas are colorful, something hobi might wear; the pastel orange silk dotted with periwinkle blue flowers.

A bird lands in the birdfeeder and you flinch at the sudden movement. Something so small has made you flinch, and Jimin feels something rise and dies in his chest as he lingers, an unintended voyeur.

Yoongi’s hands drum down your spine as he moves to sit next to you. Jimin sits as softly and as carefully as he can, making no sudden noises.

Yoongi turns you around so that your legs can rest across his lap, delicately prying you out of your ball. Jimin finds himself measuring every moment of closeness between the two of you. He rubs up and down your thigh with quick movements meant to warm your skin. You turn your head- craning your neck to nuzzle into Yoongi’s shoulder.

It’s then that Jimin sees the mating mark.

Normal mating marks look pristine, neat circles with a clear definition of teeth. Most alphas are so careful when it comes to them, delicate and small mating marks are a show of a good alpha, and most omegas are graced with pretty tiny circles. Pretty little marks of love, it's considered bad form if an alpha doesn't make the mating marks as pretty as possible.

Jimin has never really cared about that, marking something far in his future if ever. But now- looking at your marks, Jimin understands why that’s the bare minimum.

Quite frankly, you look like whoever bit you mauled you.

The marks are mottled with splotches of purple-red and pink. individual teeth hard to make out. It’s so large it takes up almost all the space on the right side of your neck. Whoever bit you did it in a rush, or had a massive mouth. It’s twice the size it should be and deeper in color, like someone bit you too far. Some other color lurking below the pink, something Jimin can't really see.

A recent mating mark that’s taking its own sweet time to heal.

Which doesn’t make any sense- because betas don’t give others mating marks, and Yoongi’s the only other person Jimin had smelt in the house. He tries not to stare at it but fails, Yoongi catches him looking, and his hand closes over your shoulder, hiding it from view under his fingers.

“You aren’t going to- to even tell me?”

Yoongi quirks an eyebrow, “are you going to ask?”

No- because Jimin just knows that Yoongi will probably lie to him won’t he? The reason for him leaving had always been explanatory. His family needed him, and now it looked like they didn’t.

They had only ever really wondered why Yoongi had stayed away and now- now Jimin has the answer and she’s sitting across from him fiddling with Yoongi’s collar. Her hand pressing against his hip in a touch that seems too intimate for Jimin’s prying eyes, even as Yoongi strokes gently over the mating mark at her neck.

You straighten up when he touches it, and Yoongi takes that pregnant pause to launch into a conversation about the age of the house, and every other plan Yoongi has in mind for it.

It’s easy to talk about what doesn’t matter. Painful easy to avoid a difficult conversation.

Jimin is smart, usually, he can piece things together- but none of this makes any sense. Where had you come from? And why had Yoongi brought you back? He doesn’t have to wonder after your relationship; it’s so plainly romantic. Your closeness makes the distance between Yoongi and Jimin sting.

Jimin doesn’t understand, and it makes less and less sense the longer he stays. The sun is charting its daily course towards the horizon, and Jimin knows if he says any longer Jin will start to worry.

And yet he doesn't want to tear himself away, is struck with the idea that if he goes, Yoongi would move or find a way to get away again.

Jimin doesn't want to let him out of his sight. Doesn’t trust him to be there when he looks back or when he blinks like Yoongi will vanish like a specter or a ghost.

But Jimin knows where he's called to be. Just like you and yoongi belong here Jimin belongs back at their apartment. Even if tearing himself away from Yoongi is one of the hardest things he’s ever had to do.

It’s clear you’re getting sleepy if the clumsy kitten way you’re letting Yoongi feed you tangerine slices says anything. Jimin watches as Yoongi peals them, splits them, and consistently gives you the bigger half.

There is only so much of this that Jimin can take before his insides start to feel all rotten with jealousy and yearning. A sour taste in his mouth that has nothing to do with the under sweetened lemonade

He excuses himself after a few hours of talking with Yoongi- not you- you’d still been silent, Almost unnervingly so. You’d alternated between playing with Yoongi’s hands, the side of his shirt near his left hip, and the back of his neck. Yoongi had never tried to stop you, It’s cutely tactical the way you fiddle him like he’s an extension of yourself. It reminds Jimin of something that Jungkook would do.

Mostly they talk about the house, but after an hour Yoongi asks how they’ve all been, Anything to avoid talking about what they really want to say.

Eventually, Jimin has to leave. Things feel more settled now- he doesn't instantly trust that Yoongi will always be there but the house is Offaly permanent.

Before he can fully descend the stairs you stop him, hand grabbing his sleeve. Jimin has to stop himself from pulling it out of your grasp. You look like you’re struggling for a moment to talk. Your lips are trying to move around words but your throat can’t summon the sounds associated with them. You never meet his eyes, never even tilt your head up, your hair and your eyelashes hiding the color of them from Jimin.

Yoongi quiets your frustration with a hand on either side of your face, tucking your baby hairs behind your ears. Stroking your cheeks again gently, it makes your eyes flutter gently.

“It’s okay sweetheart- why don’t you just tell me and I can tell him okay?” you rise on the steps to properly speak into Yoongi’s ear without having to go up on your tippy-toes, your height difference exaggerated.

You hide your face in Yoongi’s neck and Yoongi smiles, holding you close in a way that Jimin wishes he could be held. Jimin is so fucking jealous and it must show on his face because Yoongi’s smile falters when he looks up at him.

“She wants you to come back and-” Yoongi hesitates, “you can bring a few of the others if they want to come.” A few- and only a few, because Yoongi doesn’t think you could handle meeting all of them at once. That might be too much for your little heart to handle.

Jimin doesn't like the way he says it, something too conditional about it. But he nods and leaves, watches you and Yoongi carry the empty pitcher of lemonade and the colorful cups back inside. The second you're out of sight he drops a pin in the location, no way he’s forgetting where it is or letting Yoongi slip away again.

He’s got a few notifications that he swipes through as he walks home in a daze; (Well- back to h-mart first because they actually had needed more groceries and Jimin had left his cart when he’d found Yoongi. Jin will be pissed if he comes back empty-handed).

He’s got a meme from Namjoon of the cat variety, a Tiktok from Jungkook, and half a dozen texts three of them from Jin. Two about nothing in particular and another wondering where he was with a string of worried emojis. He thinks about telling him immediately, but thinks better of it, settling for a quick text, ‘sorry, got distracted with something, tell you later”

Since Yoongi left- they’ve been more worried and watchful. Seokjin has always been prone to Anxious waiting. Everyone deals with trauma differently. And that’s the way that Seokjin’s presented.

Jimin is quiet and taciturn at dinner, Seokjin knows something’s up, and it looks like he’s told the rest of the pack. Taehyung doesn’t stop to greet him after work besides to run his fingers through the hairs at the back of his neck before it heads off to a shower, the contact burns in him, his words nearly bubbling over.

You did the same thing to Yoongi today, endless trails that you ran through his baby hairs, how could Jimin forget?

His pack mates are used to Jimin getting into his feelings. And they give him his space to go through his thoughts and organize them. In truth, Jimin spends the meal picking at his food and trying to work up the courage to spit them out. Occasionally Namjoon rubs his thigh under the table, but that’s it. They wait patiently. And it only makes it worse; if they bugged him he could say it offhandedly like the information didn't matter.

For an alpha that exists so heavily in an instinct-driven headspace, he often needs more time to figure out how he’s feeling, and this- this is just a tangle of feelings that Jimin doesn’t have words for. It’s one of the few times that he wishes they’d just ring it out of him.

He can’t help but notice the little signs that Yoongi left around the apartment - like the seventh chair at their dinner table that never goes inhabited, opposite Namjoon at the end of the table.

They always set the table with silverware and a plate- though that's mostly Taehyung's doing (he's a little over sentimental). Many a night he’ll fiddle with the silver wear, making it perfect. And it hurts Jimin that his soulmate hopes- hopes that Yoongi will come back one night. Walk in the door and say something like “sorry I’m the commute was hell” like the last year was just a bad nightmare.

But now Jimin knows where he is, and he’s not coming back to this apartment. After today Jimin can safely assume that yeah- Yoongi will never live here again. that fact hurts the most; that their little love nest no longer belongs to Yoongi- is not the place where he can curl up and be safe. The apartment is not Yoongi's home anymore.

There are countless other signs, little bits of Yoongi have lingered here despite the months; The espresso machine on the counter that honestly takes up precious counter space. Even his jacket, a big jean monstrosity that Jungkook wears when he’s missing Yoongi, the beta’s scent Long faded from it.

Jimin's resolve breaks when Hoseok gets up to clean the table; Jimin’s hand darts out before he can take the first plate. His warm palm against the other alphas wrist to stop him- inadvertently rubbing against his scent gland.

Jimin has always had incredible control over his scent, most people don't. But now he breaks, his scent going from faint vanilla to gunsmoke anger and fear. He sees Namjoon's nostrils flare. And it’s like Hoseok’s pheromones instantly spike to meet Jimin’s agitated; a panicked dousing of caramel warmth, Hoseok has always had a reactive scent.

This isn’t just any one of his usual moods; this is something that affects all of them. And Like a classic Alpha, he needed to make sure that they were full and warm before he says it.

He does it quickly- like ripping off a Band-Aid. His voice unsteady. “I found him, t-today I saw him, I saw Yoongi.”

10 words that erupt shouts and questions. Their unhappy scents so pungent descending in a wave, it feels like he just walked into a perfume shop.

"What the fuck do you mean-" Namjoon shoots to his feet, making a plate fall to the floor, clattering with silverware but thankfully it doesn’t break.

"Where is he? Why didn't you bring him-”? He sees the air go out of Seokjin’s shoulders,

“What like he’s just some fucking fruit?” the words are so unexpected that it makes Jungkook laugh, then he predictably bursts into tears. Hoseok sways, blinking at Jimin dimly like he’s expecting him to just produce Yoongi out of thin air. And Tae- Tae equally looks like he’s about to cry, giving Jimin one long look before he covers his face with his hands.

Namjoon is staring at Jimin like he’s his damnation and his salvation “What do you mean found him?” he says at the same moment that Seokjin finally gets air back into his lunges “Did he look okay was he hurt was he-“

“He owns a house downtown, big, green and old, there was this- you should know he’s-” he stumbles, and no matter how much he wants to spill everything. He knows he should do it delicately- because this might hurt a little too much to be fair- they all might fall apart at this.

Yoongi isn’t theirs anymore, well not not theirs- but now they’ve got to share. Yoongi had chosen someone else, no matter which way Jimin wants to cut it, that’s still true.

“Something’s different with him and you’re not telling us” Hoseok is damn near about to have a panic attack, and Jimin grips onto either of his hips as he sways, gently guiding him back into his chair.

"Just- sit the fuck down and I'll tell you okay?" Hoseok looks at Jimin like he’s his salvation too.

The futility of loving someone else is that they always need to leave; you can never make them a part of your head- at least not in a way that matters. Maybe memories do that- seal little bits of our favorite people and hide them in our own heads, but also keeps the bad things too. The parts that can’t be hidden or excused or loved away no matter how much you wish the flaws didn't exist.

“They’re more- there’s something else that you don’t know” Jimin bites his lip and tries not to cry. “Yoongi found someone else, another omega. She was living with him, there might have been more in her pack but I didn’t see them.” Jungkook’s scent cycles so quickly from honey to rotting flower and then settles somewhere in the middle.

Seokjin makes a noise in his throat, like a whine, it makes all of his alphas flinch he covers his mouth with his hands “sorry- I didn’t mean too.”

Seokjin stoops to pick up the plate and the fork that fell on the floor, all to hide his face below the edge of the table for just a second. Standing up and angrily starting to stack plates, harder than he should, hard enough to chip them. “Not a pack? Are you sure he didn’t find a whole pack?”

“No- and I saw their house it’s- it’s big. Whoever she is, she must come from money” Jimin swallows- Maybe that's a little too judgmental.

A suspicion that lingers in his heart like a bad dream, there is only one reason why Yoongi would want to have a house that big. He’d talked about it years ago when their pack was just starting; how one day he wanted a pack house- one big place for all of them to live and raise pups. Something that was just as foolish and out of reach then as it is now.

If there were someone else in the house, then Yoongi was a real asshole and had repurposed their combined dream for them. But if it was only her there- then- then- Jimin doesn't know what that means.

Yoongi is something they used to want but have learned to live without, (or so they tell themselves- lying through their teeth- because they all know they’d take Yoongi back the second that he asked).

“They both want us to come over to see him again.”

Yoongi’s sudden reappearance in their life doesn’t really change anything. Yoongi didn’t really come back to them did he? Jimin only just happened to find him. The meeting was as a whole Unintended; it's not the same as him choosing voluntarily to come back home. So it doesn’t mean anything.

They curl up in their nest the same as always, maybe they pull each other a little closer, like the absence of space between their bodies can makeup for what they’re missing. How keenly they feel the sting. Namjoon stays up late, watching the night turn into early morning, thinking, and waiting, and wanting so much it hurts. By the time he’s decided he wants to see Yoongi, it’s already too late, and he has to go to work.

Jungkook lasts until he blinks awake blearily- the yearning building to a crescendo. Jungkook remembers reading somewhere in his self-help books that willpower is a finite resource, and the truth is- so much of his energy is used into making sure he’s physically as healthy as possible he doesn’t have the strength to resist what will surely hurt him emotionally.

He doesn’t wake Jimin up, waits until he stumbles out looking like seeing Yoongi has left him with a hangover before he begs his alpha for the address of Yoongi’s house.

He gives it up easily, but with a look on his face that says he doesn’t want Jungkook to do anything too stupid. Hearing their betas found another omega is one thing- going and seeing it is definitely looking for heartbreak.

Seokjin doesn't know how he should feel; relief and jealousy are a confusing mix. Because how could he? How the fuck could Yoongi love someone else? Not when they were there and so broken because of it, why would he give away his love when it’s them that needs it. (That’s a stupid idea, because Seokjin isn’t entitled to Yoongi’s love, even if it feels like he could be sometimes.)

Everyone has petty thoughts sometimes, everyone has thoughts that they know are wrong to have, and even more wrong to express and act on. And Seokjin has more than a few petty thoughts he acts on that morning.

He spends a few extra minutes on his hair and makeup, Jungkook fiddles too. like so many other times, he follows the elder omegas lead trusting that Seokjin will lead them all in the right direction.

Seokjin had taken one look at the bags under jungkook's eyes and pulled him to sit on the edge of the vanity in their closet room. Jungkook had only let one tear slip when Seokjin had dabbed the concealer to his under eyes, and the elder omega had leaned in close to kiss them away before they had a chance to soak into his skin.

Seokjin’s lips are a faint quince, and the blouse he wears nice and silky. The kind of thing that once upon a time Yoongi had loved to slide off his shoulders just to kiss the skin of his collar bones. Taehyung had sighed when he’d seen Seokjin exit their combined closet and get-ready-room this morning, his hand firmly grabbing Jungkook's, pulling him along.

If things go poorly- at least Seokjin can remind Yoongi what he’s missing.

He hates that he’s having such vapid thoughts, but he also kind of wants to show Yoongi “This is what you can have if you come back, could your omega give you this?” god it’s unbelievably petty of him, that he’s already thinking such thoughts about you and he hasn’t even met you yet. In other circumstances, Seokjin would probably try to reserve his opinions of you until he met you.

But still- the anger doesn't overshadow the larger sense of relief he feels at finally knowing that Yoongi is alive; that his heart is still beating out there. Seokjin has always wanted one thing above all others; to make sure his beta was safe and happy. If that happiness doesn’t include them then- then Seokjin will learn to think of Yoongi as someone he used to love.

At the end of the day, Seokjin, Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook end up going over to the house. Hoseok and Namjoon had to work- or else they would have come too.

Jimin tries not to pin the relief he feels at seeing the house again, knowing who’s inside. half expecting it to suddenly be gone like it would be in some shitty horror movie, an old man come out to say ‘no ones lived in this house for 30 years,” yeah, that would be pretty typical.

Taehyung parks the car down the street on account of the shear number of work vans piled in front of it, it’s a narrow side street as is. The train tracks must not be far because they can feel a little shaking and hear the sound of the horn as it blows through town.

The others have much the same opinion as Jimin did- that the house is a little rundown, impressive only in its size. half of the fine trimmings sit in a pile pulled off to be repainted.

It feels a little weird to come over unannounced, but the house would probably be more inviting if it had a fresh coat of paint and not the weird lime yellow-green. The roof of the house is high and stiffly peaked. Incredibly old and untaken care of by the last owners, dust, and cobwebs and chipping paint around the top.

But there are signs of care everywhere. The slate path that leads to the stairs swept free of leaves, the small stretch of ground through trampled from heavy work boots has already been seeded with grass.

Today, Yoongi has workmen here, And it’s no wonder what they’re working on. The sound of banging hammers and the throaty alphas laugh, tall ladders propped against the side of the house. They’re fixing the roof- or at least trying to. A pile of lumber sits unattended too. It’s completely bare in some spots and if Jungkook cranes his neck, he can see a hole that shines into an attic space. It looks more like a demolition than a renovation.

They linger, worried about going inside, “It was better when we thought he was dead in a ditch,” Taehyung says, watching the windows with trepidation, trying to see if there is any movement inside. He catches the eye of something, a curtain moving.

Seokjin slaps his arm good-naturedly, “You don’t mean that Tae” they walk up to the front door slowly. Jimin didn’t notice it yesterday, but now he can feel the gentle way it slopes, the porch pulling away from the house. jungkook’s heart beat thunders in his ears, palms sweaty, he feels like he’s going to pass out.

Taehyung grins sheepishly, properly chastised. “You’re right- but I still wanted to say it.”

Yoongi heaves open the heavy hardwood door the second before Jungkook’s hand raises to knock at it. His chest rising quickly with his breath, his eyes darting from each of theirs. Drinking them in.

“Hey Yoongi,” Taehyung says, the only one who has any sort of breath in him as the others pause, just looking- all they want to do is look.

And the next second they’re throwing all their previous posturing out the window- Seokjin stepping forward to wrap Yoongi up in a tight hug. They cling to each other. Jungkook's hand lacing through Yoongi's long hair, he still smells the same, still smells like chocolate and love. There are Tears in all of their eyes, Yoongi’s crying. Jimin is breaking leaning up against the doorframe of the wall to keep himself up. Just to watch them until Yoongi pulls him in to their cuddle puddle, hand reaching wildly to pull jimin in.

The moment is sweet, but then in the next second when all of their unhappy scents settle into something cleaner- the real emotion hits them.

Seokjin doesn't even register he's moved before he's pinning Yoongi to the wall, hands on both his shoulders. Shoving him harshly until he can keep him there, pinned like a butterfly.

“You fucking asshole” is all he says, his teeth bared, words nearly a growl. Omegas can’t really growl- not the same way that alphas can. But it feels like Seokjin should be able too with how angry he is.

He wants to slap him for leaving, for not calling and telling them he was okay at the very least, all of their anger and frustration pouring out from Seokjin, the months where he didn't even know if Yoongi was alive, let alone if he needed help. Packs are supposed to help each other- and for Yoongi not to ask it goes against everything that seokjin knows about what it’s like to be in a pack.

The one least in love has the most control in a relationship and Yoongi has strung them all along for long enough. Seokjin is so angry he can barely think straight.

He wants to tear him a new one and yell for days and days, but none of those things will give Seokjin what he wants- what he wants is Yoongi.

So he settles for kissing him.

Their teeth clack, and Yoongi’s not angry- he's really not- but there are things that words can do better than kisses, and kissing Seokjin has always been a dizzying experience. Seokjin's hands slide from Yoongi’s shoulders to cup his jaw and the omega bites Yoongi’s lower lip. Marking it with a little bit of blood and maybe a bruise that Yoongi will think about later.

But the house is filling with the scent of upset omega, and not from just one either, But from three different omegas. Seokjin is still very large and imposing crouching over Yoongi like a predator that has found his prey.

Kissing his oldest lover feels like Hello and I’m sorry all in once. But his words when he pulls away aren’t in the ‘I love you’ variety, quite the opposite.

“I fucking hate you” Seokjin doesn’t mean it- could never mean it, and Yoongi knows that. He’s just angry. he leans forward for another kiss but Yoongi’s hands settle over Seokjin's wrists, shaking as he presses back. "You let me think you were dead- you fucking asshole-"

Yoongi ghasps, “I’m sorry, I know I should have called I just- I didn’t want you to worry,” because Yoongi knew Seokjin the best out of all of them, knew that if he called and Seokjin heard the distress in his voice, he’d be inclined to fix it.

The more correct version of what Yoongi wants to say would be- I didn’t want you to come and try and find me, I couldn’t imagine putting you in any more danger than I already put you in. I’m sorry, but don’t ask me to put my safety before yours Jin.

“What were we supposed to do?! How could you think that leaving us hanging was anything but unkind! You don't act that way with someone you love Yoongi! You just don’t! Where the fuck were you?”

Yoongi gets steely, jaw set, and Seokjin hates how after all this time he still knows the beta so well- still knows that he’s hiding something, that he’s lying. But before Yoongi can open his mouth and lie, Something- or more correctly someone grabs Seokjin from behind, and he’s ripped away from Yoongi just as quickly as he pressed close.

The smell of your mates blood stinks, your focus narrowing, you haven't smelled yoongi’s blood since- since that night and-

Seokjin hits the other wall, so surprised he doesn't think to catch himself, You crouch over Yoongi, shoving him behind you. A feral snarl coming from your mouth, eyes trained on Seokjin- on the strange omega who has hurt your mate.

No one hurts your mate.

It’s a little comical really- you’re so much smaller than everyone, even Yoongi- and yet, the scent of pissed-off omega makes Seokjin want to simultaneously show dominance back and also, cower.

It’s hard to tell who’s more surprised, you, Yoongi, or his old pack mates. Jimin has the good sense to step up between you and the rest of his pack. this alpha- this one you know, and jimin sees a flicker of recognition in your eyes before you’re snarling again.

Taehyung behind him, eyes on you steely. Because while he might have met you already- he doesn’t trust you. He has half a mind to guard Seokjin too, but Seokjin’s often a little particular about if he lets his alphas protect him. My pup’s bite- but I’m the one with the leash.

You’re shaking like a leaf, obviously terrified as you don’t back down from jimin’s challenge, but your eyes track Seokjin when he picks himself up off the ground Detangling himself from where you pushed him, and places a hand on jimin’s shoulder, leashing his pup.

But Yoongi is already soothing you, a hand on your shoulder and one tight on your upper arm, holding you back from doing anything too stupid. Even as you glare them down and hiss again a loud rippling thing.

But to be honest- it’s half as threatening as your first hiss’s where. Taehyung has looked up videos of baby lions and tigers hissing and you sound remarkably similar.

Yoongi’s hands are large on the back of your neck, his thumb digging into your mating mark. Comforting sensations sinking down it. but no- why is your mate calming you when they’d hurt him- why won’t he let you defend him. your mind is tangled from your instincts and you aren’t thinking straight.

Yoongi doesn’t want you to be angry- but you couldn’t help it- he was just so close and he was bearing his teeth- “Baby- It’s okay, this is seokjinnie- you remember him right? I told you about them,”

You can hardly be blamed, Jungkook thinks if any of them saw a strange omega showing aggression to one of their own; they’d react the same, probably worse to be honest.

A few pregnant seconds pass before Yoongi makes the choice. No matter what he wants this isn't going to happen now. “This isn’t a good time, I’ll come back to the apartment later? You guys still live in the same place right?”

Taehyung has the good grace to steer Seokjin out of your house. Escaping from behind Jimin’s back with a little noise. Dragging the eldest behind the pair of them. Out of harm's way. You’re ready to face down two pissed off alphas if their omega tries to hurt Yoongi again.

That could have definitely gone better.

Jungkook turns back at the last moment, you’re still crouched in front of Yoongi, through your scent has eased again; and your stance is less protective than it is clinging. you’re tucked into the side of him. Hiding from his pack mates prying eyes.

“We didn’t move because of you,” Jungkook’s lip wobbles, and so does Yoongi’s, and Jungkook can sense how much he wants to follow them Now that he’s seen them again.

But he's still holding onto you so gently. You’re still pressed to Yoongi’s throat, peaking out at Jungkook. Eyes so fucking terrified Jungkook would have thought you where facing down a large animal or something- not just other people. Your brain a mess of 'protect mate- protect mate- protect him- don't let omega touch him- don't let mate hurt-'

“I know Kookie, I know.”

Jungkook lingers for a second longer, already Taehyung is starting the car. Watching Jungkook on the small deck and gesturing for him to come. A few more seconds and both Jimin and Taehyung will come to get him. They won't tolerate their omega being in harm's way for a second longer than necessary- even if they recognize Jungkook’s bodily autonomy.

“If you didn’t show up tonight, I won’t be surprised, it wouldn’t be the first time you’d left us. But…” Maybe it’s a simple way he says it that feels so cruel. “Namjoon and Hobi- they deserve a goodbye if nothing else.”

Yoongi’s heart is thick in his throat as he calls the younger name but Jungkook is already descending, running away from him and you in the entryway. Yoongi watches them pull away, and doesn’t go after them.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I reacted that way- I’m” Yoongi shushes you, and you press yourself closer. Trying to block out the whole world with his scent. He holds you softly in the entryway. Letting his emotions settle into a pre-storm calm before he speaks.

“It’s okay- I know you didn’t mean too. It’s okay. Seokjin-hyung just gets animated like that sometimes. You should have seen more of our fights when we were younger.”

Yoongi couldn't blame you for that- no- not when all of Seokjin's anger was Yoongi’s fault and entirely justified.

In the car, Seokjin puts his head back against the headrest and blinks away tears. He can’t help but feel like he’s just fucked everything up. He doesn’t realize he’s crying until Jungkook pulls him in close, scent marking along the older omegas shoulder. He’s a happy sandwich in between the youngest omega and second youngest alpha while Taehyung drives. None of them know what to say, even less what to do.

By 11 pm that evening, they’re all pacing around the small apartment. Namjoon sits at the dining table, so high strung he hadn’t even bothered to change out of his work clothes, his leg jumping up and down. “Maybe he’s not coming.”

Jungkook eyes the door from where he’s sat at the breakfast nook. “He will, if he doesn't come tonight I don’t think he’ll come back at all." that almost scares them more. They wait anxiously until they hear a knock at the door, quiet- almost like the knocker is worried that by now they’ll all be asleep. Namjoon shoots up to be the one to open it, Hoseok behind him.

namjoon would have though his beta would have changed, but no- he hasn’t at all. Namjoon almost sighs in relief when his scent fluffs over the whole apartment, filling it with his sea salt and chocolate. Hoseok can't resist latching onto him. Two big alpha puppies that have their favorite kitty playmate back.

Namjoon hugs him and backs him up into Hoseok’s arms, tiny tears shining on his cheeks until he pulls away to get a better look at him. Namjoon holds Yoongi’s face so gently. Like he's worried to touch him too hard will be to dispel him in a wave of mist.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry it took me so long- I didn’t mean to-you have to understand.” Yoongi quiets his own words, hand over his mouth, bringing his hand back to run through his hair, his hair has gotten so long- almost grown out into something of a mullet. “Can I come in? Is it okay if I come in?”

Namjoon takes his hand, effortlessly bringing it up to kiss at Yoongi’s knuckles- completely lost for words. “Of course it is Yoongi.”

They sit at the table. And it’s hard- it’s hard for any of them to speak first. Hoseok out of all of them- is the only one who hasn’t said anything to Yoongi yet. It’s like his throat closed up the second he saw him and he’s plastered to Yoongi’s back, holding him around his waist so hard it hurts yoongi’s stomach. hoseok whines when he moves to sit, and yoongi soothes him by sitting on his lap. Nose pressed to yoongi’s scent gland Breathing in deep gasping breaths.

He smells just the slightest bit different, but hoseok can’t put his finger on why.

“I know you probably can’t give us the full story, but we need to know. If we let you into our lives again- will you leave again?” it’s not surprising that it’s Taehyung to speak- to say the words so authoritative.

Taehyung has always been the unofficial leader of the little unit of maknae's. And Yoongi remembers when they first became a pack- how Taehyung easily yielded his title of ‘pack alpha’ to Namjoon. By comparison. The pack alpha seems content to just hold Yoongi’s hand now, hands smoothing over Yoongi’s skin gently.

Yoongi shakes his head, reaching across the table with his unoccupied hand and leaving it palm up. Taehyung presses his hand into it too- slightly. Just enough so that Yoongi can grasp onto it.

“I won’t, I promise, if you let me back in, I will never leave you the same way I did again.”

They talk; they catch up, because every time they ask him why he stayed away Yoongi goes steely and silent. Yoongi gives them the excuse of 'my family needed me,' and it's barely enough to keep them from rolling their eyes. But that's hard to approach, to talk about. So instead they catch up, get reacquainted with each other. People that never thought they'd feel like strangers.

They don’t ask about you, they might be masochist- but even that is going a little too far.

Before they know it, it’s getting late, Namjoon has maybe 4 hours to sleep if he’s lucky. His hours at the hospital have always been long (and got longer when Yoongi left) and it kind of hurts that Yoongi still cares enough to leave to give Namjoon a chance to sleep.

Yoongi puts on his jacket to go home, and it's hard for them to watch him go without wanting to pull him right back to them. Hard. But not impossible especially when they all know where to find each other.

Things feel more settled now, less desperate. They can all see the little lines in the sand drawn between them and Yoongi. It will take them a while to depend on him being there again.

New numbers are exchanged. And Yoongi fiddles with the jacket by the door for a second, his eyes hovering on the one that hangs. He switches it after a minute, taking his old one back, and leaving his black leather one for Jungkook.

He hasn’t asked about the younger's seizures, but it makes Jungkook feel just a little bit better to know that the beta is still thinking about him that way. Yoongi still cares, even if he’s shit at staying.

Before Yoongi goes, Namjoon drags him in, rubbing his cheek across Yoongi’s shoulder, scent-marking him slowly before Yoongi grumbles his consent. And the beta stays still, shivering as Namjoon spreads his scent all over his shoulder, a low frustrated growl building in his throat until Namjoon pulls him in for a hug. Unwilling to be parted from his beta after such a long absence.

There are no kisses yet- and there won’t be many for a while. But this- this is still enough. It’s easier to let him go when he smells like his pack alpha. But only time will tell if Yoongi will really stay. will his leaving be a lie? or a secret?

The thing about everyone in Namjoon’s pack is that they’ve all got secrets.

Sure Yoongi has his, and so do a few of the others.

Kim Taehyung’s secret is probably the most delicate in nature. It’s a secret that Tae rarely ever indulges in but can’t run away from no matter how hard he thinks. a secret that pulls at his brain that night as he sleeps, jungkook curled up on his chest so close, so dependant.

No matter How much he tries to deny the way that his clothes feel on him, the secret remains. the slithering under his skin that speaks to him with whispered words of discomfort. The voice that has him looking at soft pretty things and thinking- maybe, maybe those could be meant for me.

It's strange how the things that never bothered you suddenly start to hurt the more you go down this train of thought. Thoughts that Tae cannot ignore no matter how much he wants to once he’s realized what it all means. It was easier when they were younger, but the way things happened is also what makes it hard.

It's the reason why when he saw you today, his eyes hovered, not out of jealousy for Yoongi, but jealousy of you. Taehyung has always felt incredibly jealous of women, of other women.

(Maybe I should back up a little bit. Gender is confusing somtimes)

If Taehyung had to put a pin on anything that had started this questioning, it would be Jimin. It was always Jimin- always his first soulmate until it was the others. When Tae had been pushed on the playground by the other girls for daring to ask if he could play make-believe with them and be the princess, Jimin was the one to growl and snap his teeth at them. Jimin was the dragon guarding the princess in the castle, the one who pulled him up and wiped the blood from his skinned knees. Looking more upset that Tae had been hurt than upset at the own bruises on his cheek.

‘I’ll be the dragon and you can be the fairy prince Tae.”

“Not a prince! But a princess!” Jimin had never asked why he’d always wanted to be the princess. never asked why when tae closed his eyes and twirled he’d imagine dresses like in cinderella clinging to his little Nobbly knees. but pretty soon days of make believe��turned into stolen cheek kisses on the playground before they were old enough to really kiss to really wonder why they only ever needed each other.

they talked about it- of course they did, as two children so certain they must be different than the worlds design for them. Words that Jimin couldn’t have known would effect Taehyung the way they did. “I think I like boys,” he’s said when Tae had asked if he had any crushes on any of the girls in his class.

“Oh” Tae had said, disappointed and happy all at once. “I like boys too.”

It was never a glaring exit sign lit up with neon lights, Tae hadn’t just known she was a girl. No- it was just a sinking suspicion that she wasn’t like other boys. the masculinity and boy clothes that felt like- if the others looked too close, they’d know he was wearing the wrong clothes, the ones that wheren’t meant for him.

The otherness at times was a shield and at other times felt like a brand. Less harmful than the disappointment when he'd presented as alpha and not an omega, but not the same as the disappointment when he wore a suit to prom (even if Jimin wore a matching one).

Jimin had never once judged Taehyung for the way he wanted to play make believe. He’s his first kiss, his first time- in their childhood bedrooms- whispered words of it’s okay and understanding that should have stuck deeper than they did.

“I think I like boys,”

Not girls. but thats okay, because taehyung can be a boy if Jimin wants a boy.

It was because of Taehyung that they’d both been kicked out of their houses, barely a month after graduating high school. he was the one who forgot to close the bedroom door all the way. both of their parents hadn’t approved of alpha-alpha relationships. And it was so quick, just a misplaced kiss and unseemly eyes at the door that lead to both of their lives changing forever. Gone where celebrations of holidays in familiar bed rooms, gone was their safety net.

And though Jimin’s family had made it clear that they’d be open to reconciliation if he broke up with Taehyung, Jimin had chosen him. Jimin had sacrificed so much to be with Tae, and Tae could hardly ask for more.

He couldn’t ask for more, Not when he’d fooled Jimin into thinking he was something he wasn’t for so long.

But once you start poking at this kind of thing, once you start thinking about your gender and how it relates to others- it's hard to avoid those thoughts. And even harder to convince yourself that I could live like this forever, I don’t need this or that or the other thing, I can just be me, and as long as I'm me for me it’s okay.

So taehyung learned to find the feminine in small things, in the edge of his collared shirt, curved and not pointed, in his small choices, simple silver earings that where just a little more glittery. Not enough to heal the hurt but enough to sooth it and stop the bleeding.

The guilt is a little harder to handle, but Taehyung makes due even though a part of him that always listened a little too closely at church (just for the story) says it isn’t shameful. Whenever Jimin and Jungkook are out of the house he pours over the literature, hides his phone from anyone who might look at it, incognito mode and delete history are his friends.

Taehyung has always been an avid reader, and every time he reads a story like his on the Internet he feels a little bit of something stick more. It’s as unavoidable as the fact that Taehyung loves Jimin and will love jimin until the day he dies.

Kim Taehyung is transgender; there is no other explanation for it. (Not that Tae hadn’t tried desperately to find another explanation for the way she felt. Why she just didn’t feel like a person the way that others where. Not man but man adjacent, and not a woman but- god if he wouldn’t want to be one if he could.)

He swallows his truth like a necessary lie; it would be so much easier if he weren’t. Sure, Jimin loves me now- but he loves male alphas, and male omegas only doesn’t he? If I suddenly started dressing the way I want to would he find it weird? he’d probably hate me.

And then there was Jungkook, Jungkook who was an omega (like maybe- Tae might want to be too if he could, maybe- the tangling of secondary sex with primary sex a confusing mix, he hasn’t known enough female alphas to know that he wants to be one).

Tae lives with his secret, calling himself a 'he' even in the safety of his own head because he’s not ready for what it means if he does otherwise. Even if he/him pronouns make him ache and hurt, and then when they start to feel like a slap in the face. He even accidentally refers to himself as ‘she’ in front of Jungkook and Jimin once. Internally worrying and overthinking about it- if they’d noticed- for a few days after.

He breaks one day, on his way home from work, it’s been a long fucking week and Tae just- Tae just wants to feel smaller and softer and prettier than he feels. His skin crawling in his suit as he walks home. His feet stopping in front of a freaking cosmetics store on the corner, its storefront shining with bright adds, two for one lipsticks and a free sample too.

The ten-dollar bill in his pocket burns (no chance of the purchase turning up on a credit card.)

The lipsticks he chooses are only that- just lipsticks, but Tae clutches them like they could be a lifeline. A simple nude shade and a deep red, the perfect starter set. It’s only lipstick but Tae hides it deep in his bag wrapped tightly in some receipts.

Jungkook and Jimin aren’t in the habit of going through each other’s things and yet- Tae won't risk being discovered. He doesn’t get the chance to try it on until a few days later. Just a stolen sweet second in the bathroom at work, the door locked. The lipstick is barely on for a few minutes, And yet Tae can’t get enough of her face in the reflection.

God- it’s so silly that just lipstick makes her cry.

Until she has to take it off, those moments where Tae can close her eyes and just be. The only moments where something comes into place, the aching heart in her chest not so misplaced.

Fuck, she thinks, fuck- I wish this didn’t mean what I know it means.

Tae takes off the lipstick, hides it behind one of his books in his little library in their apartment. Does not think with she/ her pronouns, because this won't be given to Tae even if he asks. You cannot be loved and love yourself at the same time- it just doesn't work out that way.

Tae buys the lipstick only a few days before Jungkook’s seizures start, and by then Taehyung has bigger problems to solve. He shoves his secret down and never thinks about it- ever. Something like this- he shouldn’t burden the people he loves with this. Especially when they have more- more and more love to give. taehyung would never dream of saying it wasn’t enough.

Tae has so much love to give them, and they might not let him give it if he told them about this. Jimin and Jungkook deserve it- but Taehyung doesn’t.

Taehyung doesn't deserve love, not when he’s a walking lie. He’s always been that way. He was that way when Yoongi left, and he’s still that way when Yoongi came back. Their pack was full of men who loved men, gay- if you still wanted to use that word for it- thought with secondary sex characteristics- the lines of sexuality often blur.

And seeing you today, small and simply pretty in a way that Tae had only ever hopped for, seeing you felt like seeing everything that he wanted and would never get. Everything from the slope of your chest to the delicate petal press of your mouth, pretty eyelashes, and pretty hair. pretty pretty and prettier than Tae could ever hope to be.

And Yoongi- holding you like he loved you.

Tae has never been a jealous person, but he just looked at you- and wanted. she Wanted that so bad it burned him.

—————

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kimnjss · 4 years ago

Text

only you | jjk

⤑ series: cherry pickers

⤑ pairing: gamer(fuckboi)!jungkook x video vixen(virgin)!reader

⤑ genre: some angst :/... nd fluff!! (implied smut)

⤑ rating: explicit

⤑ word count: 3.3K // unedited.

⤑ warnings: slight dry humping, groping, neck kissing, a lot of inner monologuing, yn turns her emotions on nd off (lowkey scary), there are some tears, jungkook shows up w a ponytail nd glasses (what the actual fuckkk),

⤑ A/N: uhm!? i think there’s like one more chapter left ., hello??? this was wicked fast i didn’t expect it but yeah . pretty sure there’s one more after this one guys???

JUNE 15TH, 2020 | 23:43

Fighting Jimin. That's the only solution you can come up with for the way he's been acting the past few days. You had to fight him. Not only did he post, and tag!, you in an image of you and Jungkook... from a happier time, he has been 'accidentally' sending you alike pictures and even gone as far as to ask you to find a picture of the two of you for him to post.

What was his problem? It was like he was ignoring the fact that the two of you were on the rocks? All for what? To further this brand new interest in photography that really didn't have to include either you or Jungkook?

It was annoying. The constant reminder of the good thing that you had, which was always directly followed by the worry of whether or not the two of you would be able to get back to the way you were. Of course, you wanted to be with Jungkook. You... had really strong feelings for him, but at the same time, you weren't sure if the Jungkook you fell for even existed.

What if it was all an act?

It didn't feel like one. Jungkook always seemed so genuine, so pure whenever he was with you. He took his time getting to know you, it really felt like he was himself around you. And he really has no given you any reason to doubt your relationship before, so why now?

He explained himself, has given you the space that you asked for... so were you just being stubborn? Overreacting? Or reacting just the right amount? You couldn't tell, but the more you thought about it the stronger the urge to just go and see him grew. And Jimin's daily semi-hourly messages for couple shots of the two of you were not helping.

Now it seemed like every little thing reminded you of him. Had been doing such a great job at removing him from your thoughts, but with each scroll through your camera roll, you're hit with another memory and then swarmed with the countless memories you made in your own home.

You contemplated selling the place but ruled that as crazy. Maybe you'd just rent it out? Something. Anything so that everywhere you turn, you wouldn't be bombarded with all things Jungkook. The couch where the two of you spent nights cuddled up, kitchen where he'd cook for you, bedroom where you...

It was all becoming too much, a little bit overwhelming at times too. But bearable if you concentrated hard enough. You weren't really breaking until late one night. No text from Jimin, but you still found yourself scrolling through your camera roll. Smiling at a picture the two of you had taken.

Just of your fingers intertwined over the middle console of his car, nothing major but you find yourself missing how well his fingers fit in yours. The simple way you'd trace the tattoos printed on his knuckles. They were always so warm in yours and he never minded how cold you always were. Took it upon himself to warm you up. Oh! And the way he'd mindlessly reach for your hands whenever you were laying together, toying with them as he rambled about God knows what.

You missed him. So much, it hurt. All you wanted was to be near him, fuck everything else. Why did everything else have to be so complicated? Why did you have to ever find out about that stupid bet? Things were so much better when you had no idea what he and his ex-friends talked about. He'd still be in your arms right now, playing with your fingers if it wasn't for that.

Before you even have the chance to stop yourself, fresh tears are rolling down your cheeks. A sob breaking through your throat as salty droplets land on the screen of your phone. For the first time, in a very long time, you feel lonely. And the only person that you want to be with is Jungkook. Positive if you were in a room full of people and he wasn't there, this lonely feeling wouldn't go away.

You needed to call him. Hear his voice, his laugh, anything. You needed him.

The phone only rings once before he's picking up, sounding out of breath as if he had been working out. Little did you know, Jungkook had been waiting weeks for your call. Ready to run the moment your familiar ringtone was blaring through his phone speakers. His voice is breathy, but it still makes your heart skip a beat. “Hello?”

“Jungkook,” As soon as his name is leaving your lips, you're realizing how much you've missed saying it. And that thought alone has you crying harder. “Jungkook...” You repeat with a heavy sigh, head falling in your hand as you try to wipe the tears that just won't stop coming.

He shushes you on the other line, the sound of your cries has a crumbling feeling taking over his chest. He hated that he's the reason you sound like that, that he's the one that hurt you. All he wants to do is hold you and tell you that everything was going to be okay, but he wasn't sure if that would be the truth.

There was only one thing that he could tell you that he was sure of. So he's apologizing, over and over again. For what he did, for what he didn't do, for making you cry. The pained sound of his voice only has your sobs growing louder, because he's hurting too. None of this made sense, you wanted to be together. So why not just be together?

“C-can you come over... please?”

He's nearly rushing for the front door at the quiet sound of your voice. Had hoped to hear you say that, wanted nothing more than to be with you right now. Even if it was only for a little while. He missed you, all he wanted was to see you. Three weeks was too long for him to spend away from you.

Then again, this wasn't about him. “Are you sure?”

“No. I feel like I'm all broken up. And it's your fault... but only you can make me feel better. I know that.” You're huffing, obviously frustrated with yourself. Ruffling is heard from your end of the phone and he can only imagine you're roughly wiping at your face. One final sniffle sounding, followed by a sharp clear of your throat. Mentally deciding that that was enough. No more crying.

He can almost feel the wall going back up, shielding him from the emotions you had let slip. Locking them back up where they couldn't make you look weak. He can even hear the difference in your tone now as if you hadn't just been crying to him two seconds ago.

“Yeah, come over.”

JUNE 16TH, 2020 | 00:27

Jungkook shows up at your front door almost immediately. Did not need to be told twice, he was on his way as soon as the words were leaving your mouth. Handsome, like he always is.

Long hair pulled out of his face, you had said it was cute once so he figured he'd try to appeal to you. His white long sleeve is clean, baggy gray sweats hanging low on his hips. He looks like your Jungkook. Despite the weeks you spent apart, he still looks the same. So inviting, you wanted to be in his arms.

A pair of glasses rest on the tip of his nose and through them, you can see the slight red of his pretty brown eyes, the puffiness that surrounds them. Jimin had mentioned a few times before how much he's cried in the past few weeks, you never thought it would be this obvious though. It makes your heart hurt.

He's closing the door behind him after you let him in, kicking his shoes off in the threshold and then staring at you. Neither of you sure what to do next, what to say. It's the first time that you feel awkward around each other and it kills you. Nothing was ever awkward with Jungkook, he was always so eager and obvious.

But now, it was like he didn't even know where to look.

“You can go sit down,” You say after a while of just standing there, silently competing to see who can avoid eye contact the longest.

It's weird, normally he'd be kicking off his shoes and heading straight to the couch. Demanding that you sit too so he can put his head on your lap. Much different from the careful steps that he takes across the living room as if he's never been there before. He's sitting with his head bowed, hands clasped in front of him.

And you almost expect him to mumble out a: 'Nice place you got here,'. He doesn't. What he does do has you almost convinced that things aren't so bad between the two of you now. In the shyest, sweetest Jungkook voice, he's saying, “Come sit with me too,” It's quieter than you're used too, but still holds a certain familiarity to it that you can't mask your smile.

There's a lot you need to get off your chest, but you have no idea where to start. You don't have it in you to be mad at him anymore, it had you feeling heavy all this time and you just wanted to let it go. You just wanted to be with him, but you knew that in order for that to happen properly... the two of you needed to talk.

“You told me you loved me.” His words have been like a skipping record since he was rushing them out. Despite the undesirable nature, he was telling you, he had still told you and it hasn't left your mind since.

Jungkook's eyes are going wide, cheeks turning pink, caught off guard with the way you're able to just blurt it out. He had said it and meant it, never thought about taking it back. But wished he had done it differently. At the moment, he was panicked, worried that he was losing you so it came out.

If he had the chance to do it again, he'd come up with a speech, something that let you know how much you mean to him, how lucky he thought he was to get to be with you... and then he'd say it. Not in the midst of an argument as an attempt to get you to stay with him. That was fucked on his part, though.

And there was nothing he could do about it, the cat was already out of the bag. “Yes. I said that. And I meant it.” He's not sure where you're going with this conversation if you're preparing him for the clean break of your relationship or whatever, but he urges himself to be patient. You're the one in charge because he had hurt you.

This was your call.

“I know you have changed, Jungkook. You're so much different from when I first met you. I can see that. I just... the bet made me doubt whether or not the changes I saw were genuine. I didn't know what to believe, but now.” Weeks upon weeks, you spent thinking about this. Weighing your options, thinking, and rethinking the situation. You wanted to be right.

You wanted this to be right. “Now, I want to believe you, Jungkook. How you were when you were with me... I don't think someone can fake that. I kinda knew you loved me before you said it, you know? I could feel it or whatever. I don't think something like that could be all for pretend,” You're not even looking at him, but you can feel the way hope lifts his body.

He's all but jumping at the chance to assure you. “It wasn't pretend, I swear. Every last thing between us was all real. I fell in love with you, Yn. I love you.” He's reaching for your hands, lacing your fingers together. His are warm against yours and the warmth is quickly spreading throughout your entire body.

Warming your cheeks and coaxing fresh tears to pool at the brim of your eyes. “I love you too,” If you had held it in a second longer, you're positive you would've puked. Something like that needed to be said out loud. And from the way his face lights up from your slightly teary confession, it's worth it.

Jungkook moves before he can stop himself, leaning forward to cover your lips with his. It's a soft, quick kiss that doesn't last long before he's realizing what he's doing. Quick to pull away, that light pink dusting over his cheeks as he mumbles out an apology.

“It's okay. Just, uhm, one more thing.” He's leaning back to give you some space you don't exactly favor. Fingers pushing through his hair as he nods, teeth and tongue working over his lip. “Of course. What is it?”

He looks ready to fix any issue you might have with being him and you don't doubt that he'd work himself making sure that everything was all right. That's the thing, though. There weren't any real problems being with him, Jungkook was a good guy. You knew that and he showed you time and time again, just in case you forgot.

Being overwhelmed in the moment had you losing sight of that, doubting him in ways that he never gave you a reason to. He was always good to you, since the beginning. And that was something you found a little hard to understand. “Why me? I mean, it's no secret you've had a plethora of girls knocking on your door. So how come you chose me to fall in love with?” A tiny insecure thought that popped in your head from time to time, but a lot more in the past few weeks.

What made you so different?

The sound of his laugh is the last thing you expect to hear. His pretty smile rests on his lips as the sweet sound dies down, eyes shining as he looks at you. “I didn't choose you, baby. I got lucky and you chose me. And I have zero complaints. I don't know if you know this, Yn. But you have really high standards. You make me want to be better for you.” He's confident this time when he reaches for you, hands settling on your hips as he tugs you toward him.

A natural position between the two of you, sat up with your legs draped over his hips his stretched out behind you. Crazy how perfectly you fit in his arms. “No one has made me feel the way you have. Only you.” You're embarrassed with how dramatic your heart is for this man.

Fingers brush hair from your face as he leans closer to you, nose just barely brushing against yours. “Does that answer your question?” Using that deep voice of his that you only recently discovered. Eyes lifting to look at you through his long lashes, your entire body heats up from the look alone.

“Yes, it does.”

The corners of his lips lift into a smile, fingers tracing the side of your face to tip your chin up toward his. Gaze dropping to your lips, then back up to your eyes. “Can I kiss you now?” There's something about him asking that makes you want it more.

Paired with the patient way he sits awaiting your answer, holding you close but still giving you space. Subtle things that he did to make sure you were comfortable, make sure that he was never pushing too much. Jungkook was constantly proving to you that you could trust him, without a word.

And you do, trust him. With everything you do. So you don't even have to think twice about nodding your head, welcoming his lips onto yours. His fingers tangling in your hair to hold your head in place as his mouth moves over yours. Kissing you the way that he's dreamt of after all this time.

He's missed you. Being apart from you was something that he never wanted to do again and he was going to make sure that neither of you would have to experience that again. His warm tongue glides over your lower lip and you're sure he's going to push his way through.

But he doesn't, instead, he's dragging his teeth over your skin, dragging your lip back as you pull away. It's hot. The feeling of his teeth pressed into your skin, the look on his face as he does it. You can't help the soft moan that falls from your lips. A sound that goes straight to his pants.

“Tell me that thing again, you know? About how you feel about me...” There's a hint of blush on his cheeks. It makes you feel warm all over. Lifting your arms, you wrap them around his neck, scooting a bit lower on his lap. Hips pressed against his.

You think about teasing him, acting as if you have no idea what he's talking about. One look at the slightly nervous look on his face is stealing all of that way. As if you wouldn't say it again like the first time had been a fluke. Yeah, right.

Lips molded against his, you place a sweet kiss on them. Smiling brightly as you pull away, lifting your gaze to look him right in the eye. He needed to know that you meant business when you said what was coming next. “I love you, Jungkook. Only you.” He's kissing you again before the words can fully leave your lips, hand pressed firmly on your back as he holds you to him.

The slow lift of his hips, dragging a moan from you. “I just told you I love you. Why are you hard?” Your giggle vibrates against his lips. Jungkook does nothing to pull back, lips still sealed together as he murmurs.

“It's a love boner,” He groans softly, rolling his hips up. Using the grip he holds in your hair to tilt your head back, trailing his lips down toward your jawline. Sucking wet kisses into your skin, creating a path toward your collarbones.

Your laughter is interrupted by a moan, your own hips moving at their own accord into his. His cock dragging against your core through the fabric of your clothes, but you can still feel him as if you were bare. His freehand is traveling down your back to grip your ass, encouraging the movement of your hips.

Gruff grunts leave his lips from the friction and it takes everything in you to concentrate on your words. “S-shut up, those aren't real. All you think about is sex,” Ignoring the moans that lace your words and the insistent roll of your hips. He's the focus subject here.

Jungkook is shaking his head quickly, pulling back to get a good look at your face. Already flushed and he was just getting started. “Correction. All I think about is you. How my body reacts is not my fault,” You laugh to hide your blush, hand reaching out to shove at his shoulder.

“You're an idiot,” You're mumbling out, which he assumes is code for some term of endearment in your head. He'll take it, leaning down to press yet another soft kiss to your lips.

There was no way he'd grow tired of the feeling he got from kissing you. “And I love you. And you love me too. So let's make love,” It's corny, so you have no idea why your heart is screaming, fighting against your rib cage to get to him. But you've learned to not have everything figured out when it came to Jungkook. Things were the way they were and you liked them exactly that way.

You loved it.

— known for your body and surrounded by rumors about your sex life… rumors that he doesn’t think to doubt. until he’s meeting you… forced to realize there’s much more to you then the thonged shorts and lacy costumes.

⤪ masterlist ⤨

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ashestospace-fics · 4 years ago

Text

Gross Otaku

Character: Leviathan from Obey me

Reader: Male

G: NSFW

Word count: 3,797

Masterlist

-MINORS DO NOT INTERACT-

Tags: degrading, humiliation, topReader, BottomLevi, teasing, slight FootJob, swearing, reader kinda of a ass

It wasn't rare for you to always find your way back into Levi's room. Most of the time you two ended up either playing video games or just watching a new series he was gushing over. You liked spending time with him, even though dealing with any of the demon brothers might be a pain, you had the same interests as the 3rd born Otaku, so it was easy for you two just to get along when he realizes you aren't just some normie trying to pretend to like his same interest. Might be one of the reasons he fell for you so easily from the start. You like the same things he did, and actually, we're into rambling about your shows with him.

But one of the things he didn't expect from you while playing online or any competitive game was to go full-on sailor on anyone who would start shit. Sure he already used to lobbies with people insulting each other and swearing, but it just hit different when it was you. A human full-on destroying other demons who would start insulting other players unprovoked. It was almost terrifying how you drag the filth into some of these guys with a few phrases and just roast them alive. Levi found it arousing, even though you were insulting and being a dig without mercy, sometimes he wanted to degrade him to the point of killing him with humiliation. But oh no, that will be way worse for him. What would his dearest friend think if they found out he was actually turned on by something like that?

A dirty Otaku who gets turned on by being called filth? Oh, he could never live past the day if it were to come. You for sure will never talk to him ever again and go for one of his brothers instead! That would be so unfair, Levi quickly brushes those thoughts away. Now wasn't the time to indulge in his fantasies, you were gonna be coming soon and he was almost done setting the table for your nightly gaming session. This time making sure that extra sodas and sweets were around as he sat up from the coshing on the floor. His computer place opposite to where yours was gonna be.

Levi was a sucker for this setup, both of you got matching PC covers and set and he just loves that you weren't far from his reach if he was to accidentally stretch his hands on the desk or his foot to brush against yours, it would be by the distance and he wouldn't get caught being weird. It was just so perfect in his little head. Already multiple scenarios were starting to reach upon his head to hear you knocking on the door. If you were to tease him or push him around, his mind always wonders about that somehow.

You quirk a brow as you open up the door. Levi standing in front of the table staring down on the light-up screen fail to notice you approach behind up. You notice the light blush on his cheeks as you stood behind him.

"watcha thinking about that got your face all pink like that?" You spoke, Levi screech as he jumps slightly at the sound of your voice. Face going Pinker as he lifted his arm up in a normal fashion to cover his face.

"Oi! W-what are you doing sneaking up to me like that?! Learn how to knock!" He blurted out as he steps back a bit. His leg hitting the table, you scoff back in return as you went around to put your PC down.

"I did, Maybe you would have heard me if you weren't spacing out like a dork" you flop down on the cushion on the floor. A groan passing your lips as you use your arms as support to look up at him.

"Oh..." He mumbled out, the pink on his face slowly calming.

"Yeah, Oh's right, Now come on and sit down I'm hype to start!" You motion a hand towards him.

He just sighs in response as he sat down. Levi's eyes glance up to you putting on your headphones as you got everything ready. You two already had planned before what games you will play and order, so far all of this was like normally scheduled game night. But still, a part of him felt embarrassed that you caught him spacing out while thinking about you. That just so uncool, Levi groans again as he started the match. Maybe he can just play this off and get in the zone when you two start playing. Ignore all about his stupid crush on you and about how close you are and how it will only take a bit for him to move his hand and- darn it Levi concentrate! He can let his fantasies of being with you ruin your relationship now.

Regardless of Leviathans inner monologue to fight back his thought, you on the other hand already notice he was shifting in his spot. You caught on time to time on this, but just brush it off as one of his anxieties tics so you put not much thought into it. Now as you two play a few rounds, everything seemed to go as normal. A few normal lobby encounters here and there. Until the last round of your match, there was this one guy just shit-talking for no reason and everyone was starting to get annoyed at this point. Levi could see your eye twitching from his spot the more this guy kept talking. Just a few more minutes and it would be over and you'll two will move on to the next game.

"You guys suck, what the fuck even is that shot dude? Crappy aim and a shit load of fuc-"

"Man shut up already, I get it, you don't have any friends and no one likes you at home. Your mom gotta deal with her shitty unemployed son living in her basement who doesn't shower. No one wants to hear how fucking pathetic your life is under all those big words buddy so how about you shut your pipe already?" You spat venom in each word as you kept on playing. Levi's eyes darted back up at you, face flushing pink quickly at your words. The guy got caught up in his words at your sudden outburst.

"man you shut the fuck up-"

"see? There you go only using curse words because your vocabulary is so limited. God you're so... pathetic, why don't you do us all a favor and stuff your mouth with one of those overuse sex toys in your room since you clearly never touch anyone before in your life" you said in a mocking tone, it was so clear against Levi's ears, he finds it unfair that you were saying all those things to some random dude and not him, his practically all those things you just said. He bit down on his lip as he shifted on his spot.

The people in the lobby commented their "ooh" and "damn" a few admitted how weirdly sexy your voice was while insulting the guy who was just mumbling cusses at you now.

"awe what's wrong? To shame to admit you're a gross stuck up who hides behind that overly big mouth of yours?" You let out a chuckle as you took the last kill of the game. "Fucking weirdo" you blurted out as you lean back while stretching your arms. Levi stares intensely at his screen. God, it was so so unfair that you talk like that right in front of him. He completely froze in his place as his eyes tried not to look down at the tent in his sweat pants.

Dammit

"jeez, could you believe that guy Levi? What a pain in the ass...huh your score went down in the last few minutes" you mumble out as you took a sip from your soda. Eyes trying to look over at the Demon whose head was looking down at the screen.

"hmm-hmm" he hummed back a response. His mind was going crazy as he prayed you didn't notice. Maybe if he just didn't move you'll just ignore him or he'll turn invisible by pure luck! Yeah Levi that's a great idea. You squinted your eyes at the top of his head. Shifting in place you stretch your leg under the table to push him slightly.

"Oi, Levi you gonna talk back to me-wow!" you pull your foot back as soon as you felt the hard tent between your sock. Eyes shotting open as Levi let out a surprise screech/moan as he jolted from his spot at your sudden actions.

Both of you froze as his eyes finally met yours, his face flush bright red as you stare in disbelief as you realize what you just felt by accident. You didn't mean it though, you were just gonna push him by the leg not shove your whole foot between his legs.

" w-wait y/n I c-can ex-explain! This so uncool, it's yo-your fault I didn't I mean I was-" Levi became a stuttering mess as he got caught. Your face going blank as you glance down the table to see that he was hard. You press your lips together in a thin line. Your expression on readable made it worse for the Otaku trying to make up any poor excuse on the spot. A hummed left your throat as your foot made contact with his hard-on again, just that this time you put full pressure as his hands flew down to grab your ankle as he let out a choked whine at your sudden action.

"W-what are you doing?!" He exclaims, humiliation washing over him as he made little effort to push your foot away as he didn't dare look back up at your penetrating gaze.

"My fault? You said it was my fault? How are you popping a Boner while in the middle of our game my fault Levi?" You scoff as you place a hand under your cheek as your elbow resting on the table. Levi panted as he tried to make a fail attempt to push his foot away. Face burning with embarrassment at two heavy his breath got against his chest.

The friction was about to be his guilty pleasure as you rubbed your foot up and down. A small pathetic whine leaving Levi's mouth as you press forward into his shaft. The sound of your chuckle made his whole body shake as you took another sip of your drink.

"wow, you really are enjoying this huh? Even though you're a demon and you could easily push me off, you just letting me step on your hard-on just like that?" Your eyes glance down, his feet reaching your side of your thighs as Levi legs feet and stretch. Your hands took a hold of his ankles and pull him closer as your feet press dangerous painful against his pants. Another scoff passing your lips as you watch his back arch at your sudden action. A shaky moan passing his lips as he finally looked up to you.

"so tell me, Levi, what was it that got you like this? You thinking about your anime girls or...." He quickly averted his eyes, a hand flying over to cover his face as he shook slightly, your previous motions stopping as you figure out.

"you got turn-on by me insulting that loser?" You let out a laugh as he tried squirming away. A quiet "n-no" reaching your ears as you retreat your foot and stood up. Making your way over to tower, Levi, as you looked down at him with your hands on your pockets.

"well?" You asked quietly, your voice dropping as you could see the corner of his eyes tear up as he refuses to look at you.

"i-I'm sorry I know I'm gross, I'm just a gross Otaku-" oh there he was, his normal phrase. You crouch down his height as looked at him. He quickly shut up, he was embarrassed to a godly extent but he would be lying that this wasn't making him hornier. I mean this practically one of the many ways he imagines you would take him. Humiliating him just like this, but the fact that you just touch him was already enough to make his mind start to go hazy.

"Yeah you're right, you are a gross Otaku, one that got turn-on by me insulting some guy, or were you just imagining that would be you? Hhm Levi?" You took a hold of his chin to make him look at you, his face felt warm against your fingertip as he bites down on his lip. It was hard for you not to strip him down and take him with that look on his face. But self-control is key in this current situation, and you were determined to see how far you could get.

"y-...yes.." he whispers out. A smile grew on your face as you pulled him closer.

"you know... you're really fun to tease, I wonder how far you letting me get away with this, look how pathetic your acting for a demon..." you breathe out, your lips barely grazing his as one of your hands rubs his thigh, legs close instantly as your palm press against his boner and your fingers dig down into his covered hole. A loud whimper passing his lips as you brought him for an eager kiss.

The hand holding his chin now on the back of his head as you pulled him closer. Teeth clashing between the heated kiss as Levi's hands hold onto your shoulders. Moans passing freely from his throat as his eyes shoot open wide. Body becoming warm as your hand-kept teasing and rubbing his covered cock. He felt already weak with what was going on, everything felt like was going on so fast and rough but was crabbing more and more by the second. The taste of the sweet you were eating prior still lingers in your mouth as you lick again his lips. His jaw going slack as he opens his mouth for you. Another breathy moan left his lips as he felt your hot tongue enter his mouth. This was what Levi was dreaming about and even more.

He gripped on your shoulder as you pulled away. Now both hands stopping your assault as you force him to lay down on the cushions scatter around the floor. Moving both his legs to straddle yours as you started taking off your shirt. If it was even possible Levi's face went redder as he stares at your torso in awe, a smirk rose to your lips as you grip the edge of his shirt and jacket.

"what? Enjoying the show you gross Otaku?" This time it was your turn to let out a groan as you grinded against his groin. You were already hard with all this foreplay, your breathing was starting to hitch against your throat. Levi whined at your words, his slender fingers fumbling around to get desperately rid of his clothes. Your teasing and words already had him in state at this point and you enjoyed how easily he was crumbling to them.

A low sigh passes your lips, your hips rocking against him slowly as your eyes trail up his chest, he was slim but still fit. Both your hands trailing up his bare skin until reaching his already hardening nipples. You lean down and kiss between his chest as you grinded harder against him. Quiet moans passing his lips as he covers his face as he still peeks over to look at your actions. Embarrassment written all over his cute flustered face had you smiling slightly before trailing higher as you left a trail of kisses. A shaky moan passes his throat as you licked up, your lips meeting their way up to his earlobe and nibbling it.

"you like it when I tease you, Levi?" You asked quietly, a moan In a response made you stop grinding. You wanted to hear him say it, god you needed him to be a good boy and admit that he's gross for being turn on like this. Levi shooked his head as he gripped your shoulders, he feels the outline of your cock against his sweat pants and he felt like he was melting on the spot with how close it.

"y-yes.." he whispers out, he tried grinding his hips pathetically to make you continue.

"you like it when I call gross? Hmm? You wanted this whole time to point out how nasty you are for being an Otaku who's choices to gets stuck at home?" Your tongue swirls the back of his ear before biting it.

He arches his back as his grinding became desperate. A loud cry left him as hold into you. He couldn't control how hot his body was feeling, he felt like he was gonna burst if you didn't keep touching him.

"y-yes! I like it, I love it when you call me gross, and I r-really need you to fuck me and put me in my place now! Please d-don't stop Y/n!" He kicks his legs as he shouted. Your eyes winded as you pulled back to look at him, tears falling down his face as his breathing became a mess. Your thumb brushing it off as you lean down to kiss all over his cheek gently as your free hand pulls his waist up to get rid of his sweats and underwear in one go. A sigh of relief passing Levi's lips as his length press against his lower stomach.

"Jeez, your so needy for my cock is makes you look pathetic Baby" you chuckled, truth be told that your heart was beating against your chest widely. You pulled down your pants, the cold air hitting your dick made you shiver slightly as you kick the clothes out of the way. Levi's hands flying over to cover his mouth as you spread his legs apart even wider.

You swallow hard, the view almost made you dizzy as his hole clench around nothing as it glistens with his wetness. A brow crock up as you press a finger inside of him slowly, it sucked you in eagerly as Levi moan loudly.

"How are you this dripping wet down here? You look like a bitch in heat or is that something Demons go through?" You bite your lip as you push another finger in with ease, pumping them fast with how eager he was taking your hand.

"h-hm, oh f-fuck, um uh ye-yes?" Levi squeaks out the answer as he holds into the cushion under him. Your fingers felt so good, he for sure felt like he was on cloud 9, he was craving so much more than your fingers but even with them, he was falling apart.

"hmm, that should be interesting when it comes heh" you press your fingers upwards, hitting his prostate with so much ease it almost amazes you how loud he screams just by that, as he threw his head back. You let out a whistle as you pulled your fingers away from his aching hole. Another whine left him at the absence of your digits, he almost came just by that.

"quit whining, If you wanted me to fuck you" you hiss out, your cock press against his dripping hole was making it twitch. Levi looked back down, eyes glossy as he lifted his legs to his chest as he holds them for you. One of your hands made it to his waist as the other hold your cock, slapping it against him before thrusting yourself halfway in without warning.

Both of you groan loudly as you stood still, he was tight no matter how much he was leaking. He was clenching down on you hard, Levi could feel his mouth water as you push the rest of your cock in his tight hole. He could feel every vein pulsating inside of him, that pre-cum was leaking out his tip. He curses loudly as you pulled back and thrust back into him. Starting with a fast speed as your hips snap against him every time.

"f-fuck your tight, you practically sucking me in" you groan loudly as you grip on his waist, the smacking sound of both your flesh hitting against each other vibrating against the whole room as Levi said your name like a mantra. It felt so good, he felt like he was going to pass out with how good you were fucking him. He didn't want anything but your cock to stuff him full.

"w-what's wrong? You little anime waifu can't fuck you as good as my cock?" You hiss out. "M-mh a-ah fuck n-no! I only want your cock, fuck I only want you to stuff me like this all the time" Levi screamed as he panted between each thrust, you were not slowing down at all. Each time thrusting into the bundle of nerves that was about to make him snap and tip over. His mouth hanging open as drool fell down and his eyes cross, God you thought it was the hottest shit ever.

"Good, good little Otaku, Be good and cum all over yourself like the gross nerd you are- fuck" you moan as you fell on top of him, you never been this riled up. Your hips never stopping once as you kept thrusting harder into his aching hole. Levi's hand made their way up to your face and kiss you roughly. Drowning each other moans as you kept abusing his poor prostate until he came over you and his stomach. A loud cry left his lips as you kept thrusting into him trying to reach climax. Your lips silencing his cries as you gave one final thrust, pressing deep into him as you cover his inside white.

Both of you panted loudly as you regain your breaths. You pulled away slowly, both of you hissing at the feeling as you rolled over next to him. Now staring into the ceiling as your brains process your previous actions as your panting quiet down. You sat up, whipping your forehead as you looked back at him. His face still flushed as you brought your hand to push his bangs off his face.

"you look gross and sweaty, let's take a shower" you blurt out leaning down to kiss his cheek before standing up. Levi covers his face once again as he rolled over.

"This...is so unfair" he breathed out.

"yeah yeah I love you too, but like seriously, we need to shower you made a mess".

#obey me x reader #obey me x male reader #leviathan x male reader #leviathan x reader #obey me smut #obey me #x male reader #x male reader smut #obey me shall we date #swd leviathan #leviathan avatar of envy #leviathan x male mc #leviathan x mc

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yandere-sins · 4 years ago

Note

Now that the undatables are datable, can I see some thoughts on a jealous Diavolo who wants to hoard the mc? Just maybe a punishment for going on a trip to the human world with some of the bros and leaving him behind. Or he’s upset about how little time he can grab between the demon bros eating up all of their attention and his own duties. He’s just so cute, and I’m so happy he’s finally a surprise guest!!!!!

Bruh ask me!!!! Everyday I open the app to be welcomed by the handsome demon-king-in-making and my heart goes doki doki ♥ I decided I need a change of mind since I worked on the book for four days straight, so I wrote you a scenario instead of just my thoughts! Thanks for requesting and please enjoy!

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

Humming, you were led down the hallways of the Demon Lord’s castle. With a smile and short waves, you greeted the little devils that passed you, snickering and welcoming you back. You had only been back home in the human world for a weekend, but they all seemed awfully joyous that their exchange student had returned, even though you couldn’t pinpoint why that was.

Thanking the Little D that led you to Diavolo’s study, it swirled around you, giggling for a moment before leaving you alone, and you took a deep breath before knocking on the massive doors that separate you from the room. With a hint of anticipating nervousness, you waited for an answer, hoping Diavolo would be as happy to see you as you were to see him. Over your time in the Devildom - no matter how harsh the truths you had discovered were and how often you had questioned your capabilities since you met the brothers - you had grown quite fond of the Lord, always knowing he supported your progress and time here.

“Yes?” it called out from inside. You had no doubt that Diavolo knew everyone who knocked at his door, but it was still nice that his voice never lost a certain tinge of curiosity when he called someone in. With your smile growing wider, you entered, looking into the instantly brightening face of the man of the hour.

“[Name]!” he called out, jumping out of his chair like an excited child, and you greeted Barbatos quickly before focusing your attention on the Lord in front of you. “I am back!” you announced, holding up the small package with sweets you brought as a gift from your trip.

“Where have you been?” he asked, his voice urgent despite the smile on his face. “I’ve been worried about you.”

“Huh?” you muttered in surprise. “I thought Lucifer was going to tell you that we were visiting my home for the weekend?”

“Is that so?” Diavolo grumbled under his breath, expression faltering and becoming somber for a moment before the corners of his lips curled up again. He opened his arm as he approached you, adding, “It’s good you’re back then.”

Even before he could reach you, you quickly handed over the package in your hand to Barbatos, who whispered a short, “His majesty was a little... tense this weekend.” Then spoke up louder, “I shall prepare some tea.”

With that, he was gone, and Diavolo pulled you into a hug, an affection you two had grown used to. It was wild for a mere human like you to embrace the future Demon Lord, but you weren’t complaining, especially not since it was Diavolo’s wish to act more normal with you. “I’m sorry. I really thought Luci was going to keep you updated,” you mumbled into his hug, and Diavolo let out a long, sad sigh that tugged on your heartstrings.

“I can think about why,” Diavolo revealed, and your curiosity perked up at that, showing in your face when you finally brought some distance between you two. “Why?” you asked, unsure what he could mean, but Diavolo’s answer kept you waiting while his eyes scanned all over you, inspecting all of you as if he hadn’t seen you in years. “It’s not a surprise. Anyone would want you all to themselves.”

Furrowing your brows, you let yourself be led to the discussion couch in the middle of the room, sitting down together with Diavolo on his urging. “If Lucifer had told me, I’d have insisted on tagging along. I am sure he wanted to be the only one to have all of your attention this weekend.”

Spluttering, you felt the heat shoot into your head as you shook it vehemently. “It’s not like that! I just showed him around my hometown, and we had all kinds of foods, and...” your words trailed off as you heard the door behind you open again, Barbatos walking in with an apologetic smile as if he had interrupted something, tea tray in his hands.

“As I said, it was just a change of scenery.” Clearing your throat, you tried to change the topic, looking Diavolo straight in the eyes as you spoke up. For a moment, you thought to notice a disapproving gleam in his eyes, but you merely spoke over the bad feeling his unusual stern expression and crossed arms gave you. “What have you been up to? I hope you didn’t just have to work all weekend!”

Prolonging his response, Diavolo hummed thoughtfully before sitting up straight and opening up his arms to receive the cup of tea Barbatos was handing to him, and afterwards to you. “That’s all, Barbatos,” he confirmed to his servant, the latter bowing before taking his leave. You thanked Barbatos too and took a sip of the hot beverage, letting the delicate aromas of the drink fill your nose.

“I’ve... I’ve been busy, yeah,” Diavolo eventually simply admitted, an uncommon short answer coming from him. Not like he had much leisure to tell endless tales, but usually, he talked in longer sentences. “It’s been a quiet weekend, and I actually wanted to ask you to join me for tea, but I guess my message never reached you.”

“Oh, no...” you mumbled, realizing that since your DDD didn’t have reception in the human world, you hadn’t even checked it once in all this time. Not even know had you charged it and looked at it, having come directly to the castle instead after your return. A crude mistake on your side.

“It’s no problem.” A short smile crossed his lips as Diavolo looked into your regretful eyes. “I am used to it. You are always up to something with the brothers, so I am not surprised when you didn’t reply.” But disappointed. The words he didn’t speak were plainly visible on his face, and you felt a sting in your heart knowing that your carelessness had upset him. Biting your lip as you thought, you decided to make it up to him in the best way you could come up with.

“I’m sorry, your Highness... But I am here now! How about I wait for you to finish your work and we can go out together and have dinner? Promise I won’t leave this time!” Laughing, you tried to lift the mood, and at first, he gave you a raised brow and a somewhat skeptical look, but soon enough, even the Lord couldn’t resist your smile, chiming in softly.

“Here, let me,” he prompted, taking your cup from you and filling it up with fresh, warm tea even though you hadn’t even finished. Being only able to see his back, you could only assume he even put sugar into the new brew for you, stirring your cup dutifully. It was an honor to receive such a treatment from someone like Diavolo, and you made sure to thank him plenty when he handed the cup back to you.

“I think spending some time with you is a good idea. This weekend I’ve just been a bit too gloomy for everyone in the castle, I think. Can you believe it? I broke half of the entire inventory on tea sets we own in my frustration.”

Diavolo laughed out loudly while you couldn’t help but feel concerned about what he just revealed to you. It didn’t sound very healthy that he’d let out his mood on the items around him, much less on the people who had to endure the chaos he caused. Giving him a forced polite smile, you decided it was best to let him talk while you sipped your tea. It was almost too sweet now to enjoy it, but since Diavolo went out of his way to prepare it, who were you to refuse the gesture just because it was a little sweet?

“Everytime they brought me a new one, I felt so lonely since you never responded. Eventually, Barbartos decided no more tea for me.” His laugh became even louder as you felt your stomach twist anxiously, not liking what you were hearing.

“But now you’re here.” Diavolo’s eyes focused back on you, blinking innocently as if he didn’t just reveal that he caused quite an unnecessary troubles. He opened his mouth, breathing in visibly before he continued to speak, one of his hands coming down to lay on your free one resting in your lap. “Let’s not talk about the past anymore. We should think about what we want to do when you wake up instead!”

“When I wake up?” you questioned, confused. Was this a dream? Did Diavolo meet you while you were asleep still? But everything and even his touch felt so real and warm, it couldn’t be. “Well, I didn’t think I’d stay the night. There’s school tomorrow, right?” you chuckled jokingly, nudging him slightly, but when you continued to talk, your voice betrayed you, cracking as you felt a nervous pull inside of you.

“I... I just thought we could go for dinner later, so we have enough time to prepare for tomorrow at home.”

As if on cue, the moment you finished your sentence, you looked back at Diavolo, feeling suddenly very light-headed. “I heard you, [Name].” Diavolo spoke slowly, sounding a bit like he was talking to a toddler, trying to pronounce his words clearly. “But you said it. You’re not leaving this time, and a promise is a promise.”

“W-What... What’s going on... ?”

Indifferent to your growing discomfort, Diavolo took the cup of tea from you, putting it down on the coffee table before inching closer to you. An arm wrapped around your shoulders while another pressed between your knees and the couch, all while you felt dizzy and dizzier, your body slowly but surely growing heavy. “I think I deserve some extra time with you, and tonight must suffice for now. Maybe even tomorrow? Let’s see how long the magic lasts. Do you like movies?”

Really, it was more of a monologue by now as you could barely manage to speak anymore, being hit by seemingly the weight of the world as Diavolo lifted you gently from the couch. “We could watch one of the new movies I sponsored. Rate if they did a good job.” Giggling like an excited child, your head fell against his chest, your breathing growing slow and steady despite the inner panic you felt just seconds ago. Your eyelids felt like they were solid blocks of cement, ready to bow to gravity and fall closed.

“I know, you're very tired, you don’t need to answer me right away. I promise we’ll have a lot of fun together later, and you can tell me if you like movies then. If not...” Diavolo’s words came to a halt while he carried you forward, doors opening for him with seemingly no effort as he simply kept going and going. But it was too hard to comprehend what was going on, only a feeling of fear and disapproval left bubbling inside of you for a few moments more.

“If not, I am sure we’ll find something,” he promised with a wide grin on his face. You felt his lips connect with the top of your head briefly before a second wave of tiredness overcame you, this time too strong to resist. Your eyelids refused to open while your mind was lulled into a dreamless sleep, your limbs hanging loosely from Diavolo’s arms. The last thing you remembered wondering was what he was going to do with you, but luckily, you didn’t finish this thought and rode yourself into more anxiety than the situation already gave you.

If Levi’s envy, Satan’s wrath, and Lucifer’s pride - feelings that were ever so possessive over you - were awful in your opinion, then you should have known better than to rise all of them in the strongest Demon that currently existed. Unless, that was, if you wanted him to catch you like a mouse with a piece of cheese?

If that was the case, you achieved exactly what you wanted.

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envysparkler · 3 years ago

Text

I posted 256 times in 2021

234 posts created (91%)

22 posts reblogged (9%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.1 posts.

I added 444 tags in 2021

#envy answers - 231 posts

#whumptober2021 - 68 posts

#compliment - 32 posts

#ask game - 27 posts

#my snippets - 23 posts

#my fic - 18 posts

#faqs - 18 posts

#greenie - 11 posts

#headcanon - 9 posts

#fic finder - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 104 characters

#kinda difficult to run a gang when batman is hovering over your shoulder and telling you you're grounded

My Top Posts in 2021

I was juuuust reading Batcellanea chp138 - was in the middle of the part where Bruce's internal monologue was telling him he should keep Jason and he can take care of Jason, when it hits me : the voice in Bruce's head reminds me of Venom and lmao what if its like Venom but instead of killing people it just maliciously whispers at Bruce to keep adopting kids.

Thats it. That's the comment that I got on tumblr at 12.30am for. Cheers.

Oh my god. Yes. Some villain infects Batman with a parasite to turn him against the rest of Gotham but all it does is make him adopt kids.

Venom: Bruce. Broose. Come on. You know you want to. Bruuuuce. Bruce: he has parents. Venom: we can take care of that.

Venom: BRUCE Bruce: NO Venom: BRUCE Bruce: NO Venom: BRUCE I WANT-- Bruce: he is older than me I said no

Venom, cackling: our little brood goes bigger and brighter, all the little birds roosting in the nest, safe and warm and toasty-- Bruce: you're making it sound like you want to eat them

52 notes • Posted 2021-11-05 11:40:05 GMT

Jason eyeing the league members popping in on his cases just to see he’s still alive: “I am never going to be able to do anything illegal again”

It is very difficult to be a crime lord when the Justice League keeps showing up to coddle you.

This reminds me of one of my ideas of Batman deciding to dismantle the Red Hood's operations by just showing up and acting like a disappointed parent.

54 notes • Posted 2021-09-18 13:52:09 GMT

In response to the Jason being Bruce's biological son: I think there could be some cool and interesting new twists in this. But I still would cling to the Red Hood path. Because the whole idea of Red Hood is just so great. Coming back from the dead and waking up in his grave. Thrown into the Lazarus pit und realizing that his murderer never faced adequate justice is simply genius. Red Hood is an interesting character.

Red Hood is a fascinating character, but giving Jason a chance to live is also good, and seeing who he would've grown up into without the Lazarus Pit. And I can hear Ise shrieking distantly about killing her precious baby Jay.

77 notes • Posted 2021-07-03 19:02:10 GMT

idk but when jay is put in the lazarus pit, it heals his injuries but what it doesn't do is make him tall and muscular. so like he's still the tiny, skinny 15/16 year old he was because of the years of malnourishment. so he goes to gotham at like 17-19 years old, a formidable warrior, but TINY, smaller than dick himself and does the whole drug-lord business + it makes it easier for bruce + dick to work out who he is of course. this probably doesnt make any sense- anyway i love your work!! 💖

Oh my god, I am dying, this is a hilarious idea and I love it to pieces. The fearsome Red Hood being this snarky twerp. Tim is taller than him which is the real reason Jason is determined to end him.

Bruce, seeing a criminal in a red hoodie take on guys twice as big as him: why does this feel familiar?

117 notes • Posted 2021-11-09 13:19:46 GMT

ik you said it’s buried in your idea pile but i am very excited about the possibility of seeing a red hood vs the justice league face off !!!

For context, this is the table of contents of my idea doc.

Definitely not getting around to it any time soon, but here's a snippet:

“You’re Batman’s son?” Superman sounded especially pissed, and Wonder Woman’s eyes were narrowed slits. “Since when?”

“Forgotten the adoption party already, Uncle Clark?” Jason spat back, hurt and rage churning inside of him. It led to an easy rejoinder—a reminder that Jason had died in Ethiopia, and all of him didn’t come back, the best parts of him didn’t come back, that Bruce was clinging to a delusion and Jason wasn’t really his son, not anymore—

But Superman was frowning, eyes distant like he was looking through Jason—his eyes focused again, and he inhaled sharply.

Before Nightwing could move, Jason was upright and out of the chair, cold air blasting onto his helmet-less face.

“Jason,” Superman said in a voice of broken glass. Jason blinked—his restraints were gone and he was being squeezed to death by a sobbing alien.

“What—Uncle Clark?” Jason shot a bewildered look at Nightwing as Clark released him—what was happening—but didn’t manage to get out any more words before he was being swept into a another hug, courtesy of an Amazonian. “Ribs—Auntie—still human—”

“My brave bird,” Diana whispered, voice cracking, “You came back to us.”

134 notes • Posted 2021-09-13 11:27:48 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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viastro · 4 years ago

Text

bookworm | jeon wonwoo

ミ★ synopsis: who knew that the cute guy you met at the library is one of the best players on the football team? literally everyone but you.

ミ★ genre: high school!au, jock!au, humor, fluff

ミ★ warnings: none !

ミ★ word count: 3,171

ミ★ pairings: wonwoo x female reader

ミ★ notes: i will be tagging @babiesanshine because she told me i have to tag her in anything i write that involves wonwoo. here’s a cute little oneshot i wrote, i hope you guys enjoy it <3

The weather isn’t too cold. It’s at the temperature you like, where it’s not too hot, not too cold, but a good medium. However, it’s a sign that summer is truly ending, and you’re somehow going to miss it. Even if you did spend a majority of it staying in your room, either playing video games or sleeping. What can you say? Summer is truly the time to unwind.

But today your mom had other ideas, having woken you up at ten in the morning. She told you to do something ‘productive’ with your last week of summer, aka, go the fuck outside. It’s now one pm in the afternoon, and you’re driving to the library because why the hell not? You’ve never been to the library before, and it’s your senior year of high school. Might as well see what books they have in case you’ll need to do a quick run to the library because of your classes.

You stick your hand out the window, doing small wave motions while the air hits it. While you spent most of summer inside, you love the vibe it brings. It’s just the idea of being able to be free for three months, without the stress of deadlines, group projects, or finals. Smiling at the feeling of being free, you turn into the parking lot, parking your car under the tree. Turning off the engine, you step out of the car, letting out a small sigh as you stare at the old library. You straighten out your skirt, before walking towards the entrance, phone and wallet in your bag.

You step into the library, giving the librarian a small smile in greeting. She gives you a happy wave, before going back to her work. You glance at your surroundings, taking in the ambiance of the building. It’s a bit brighter than other libraries you’ve seen, the wooden shelves being painted white, and the walls having a floral detail to them. It has a more happy theme I guess you could say. You let out a breath, somehow feeling like you’re going to come here more often at the cozy feeling it gives you.

“Nice.” You whisper, before walking further inside. Your hand reaches out towards the shelves, letting it drag softly across the numerous books lined up. You perk up at a sudden thought and you head towards the kids section, wondering if they have your favorite children's books. You’re so caught up in thinking about the frog and toad series that you quite literally slam into someone and fall backwards.

You let out a squeak, closing your eyes as your hands prepare to soften the impact, only for you to realize that you’re no longer falling. You register the arms wrapped around your waist, and you’re 100% convinced that you’re being abducted by aliens. You slowly open your eyes, and they immediately widen once they land on the person who caught you.

His black hair is fluffy and falls over his forehead. He’s wearing specs, slightly covering his strong nose. You take notice of his eyes, a pretty shape that would make him seem more intimidating if he wasn’t wearing his round glasses. His lips are really pink, and he’s absolutely the most handsome guy you’ve ever laid eyes on in your seventeen years of living. He gives you a smile, and you feel as if you’re going to faint because,

what the fuck !!! he’s so pretty !!!! this is fucking illegal !!!!

“Are you okay?”

oh my god !?!?! his voice is so deep too !!!!! i’m literally going to go into cardiac arrest-

“Um, hello?” He releases an arm from your waist, waving his hand in front of your face to see if you’ve passed out with your eyes open, and you almost fall into an internal monologue again because holy shit he’s only holding me with one arm, but then your eyes widen. You immediately fix your stance, his other arm falling from your waist as you are now standing on your own.

“I… am so sorry.” You mutter, and he chuckles at your wide eyes. You open your mouth to apologize again and he shakes his head, smiling softly at you. “It’s alright, it’s partially my fault too. I’m just glad I caught you before you fell.”

i quite literally fell in another way i won’t lie to you luv x

“Thank you for doing that. Saved my ass from some bruising.” You joke, only to shut your eyes at how suggestive that sounds. He gives you an amused look, finding you more endearing the more you speak. You don’t dare look at him, deciding that staring into the darkness of your eyelids is much more preferable at this moment as you would very much rather choke. He lets out a laugh, “It’s okay, you can open your eyes. Sometimes things sound a lot more suggestive than they should. It is what it is.”

You slowly peek at him, and see that he’s smiling at you. You stand up straight, letting out a small cough into your elbow, before grinning back at him. He extends his hand towards you, “Hi, I’m Jeon Wonwoo, 17 years old.”

You stare at his hand for a second, somehow surprised that his hands are also really pretty. You reach out and softly grasp his hand, “Hi, I’m yln yn, 17 as well.”

The two of you stay like that for a moment, him wondering how your hand fits his so well, and you thinking of how you’d really like to continue holding his hand. You regretfully let go first, giving him a smile.

“So, what brings you to the library on the last week of summer break?” Wonwoo grins, giving you a shrug.

“I had a mission to read every book in this library, and I think I’m almost done.” You tilt your head at him, leaning back on the shelves and sizing him up. You purse your lips, and he crosses his arms in an attempt to make himself look more serious.

“Oh really?”

“No, the mission was just for this science-fiction section actually.” He answers, dropping his tough facade and motioning towards the aisle the two of you are in. You giggle at his antics, and Wonwoo feels his heart warm at the sound, proud that he was able to be the cause of it. “Why’d you exaggerate it then?”

He turns his head towards you, giving you a big smile. “Wanted to impress you.”

You look away when you feel your face turn warm at his honesty, reaching up and rubbing the back of your neck. You smile, turning back towards him once an idea comes to your mind.

“Wanna read children's books with me instead?” He purses his lips, before grinning at you.

“Only if we start off with frog and toad books.”

“What kind of person would I be if we didn’t start off with frog and toad, Wonwoo?”

“I like you already.”

“It’s been a month since I last saw you, and you wanna meet up at the big football game?” You ask into the phone, an amused smile on your face. You hear Wonwoo chuckle on the other end, “It’ll be fun. I can introduce you to some of my friends.”

You raise an eyebrow, rolling over on your bed so that you’re now staring at your ceiling. You purse your lips, realizing that you can also introduce your best friend to Wonwoo, considering that she’s been incredibly curious of the guy at the library. Otherwise known as,

your summer fling that isn’t really a summer fling because you guys haven’t done anything romantic other than smile at each other.

Since school started, you and Wonwoo have been too busy to hangout. You thought he was a new student at your school since you surely would’ve remembered someone as handsome as him, but to your surprise, he wasn’t. Once you got home from your first day of school, you immediately called Wonwoo and asked what school he goes to. Turns out he goes to the high school on the other side of town, your school’s biggest rival when it comes to football.

never expected him to be interested in football, let alone the biggest game of the year since our schools are competing against each other, but i miss wonwoo a lot.

“I’m intrigued.”

“Is that a yes?” Wonwoo asks, a big smile on his face as he waits for your answer. He hears Seungcheol and Jeonghan make kissy noises from behind him, and he rolls his eyes. You grin, letting out a sigh to make it sound like you’re not as excited as you actually are.

“I suppose it is. I’ll see you on Friday then bookworm?” You tease, and you hear him let out a chuckle, causing you to giggle yourself.

“Yes you will gamer. I’ll text you later, my friends are being annoying.” Wonwoo tells you, laughing at the sound of Seungcheol and Jeonghan now whining at the fact that he insulted them. You smile, opening your mouth to say bye when Wonwoo adds, “I miss you. I’ll see you on Friday.”

Your cheeks heat up, and you hear Wonwoo’s friends in the background teasing him once again. Running a hand through your hair you mutter, “I miss you too. See you soon, Wonwoo.”

You end the call, placing your phone beside you. You bite your lip, big smile on your face, before grabbing your pillow and shoving it over your face.

“aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!”

“Okay, where’s your boyfriend?” Jihyo asks once the two of you enter the venue, and you nudge her shoulder. “He’s not my boyfriend! Don’t call him that in front of him and his friends alright? I’ll literally eat your ass if you do that.”

Jihyo winks at you, and you roll your eyes, causing her to throw her head back in laughter. She holds your arm, giving you a squeeze to show you she’s just teasing. You pull out your phone, curious as to which area Wonwoo and his friends are sitting, only to see his new text,

wonoot: i’m running a bit late, just go and sit on the bleachers and i’ll find you later <3

You pout, “He’s running a bit late, but he told us that he’ll find us when he gets here.”

“Okay, I think the game’s about to start so let’s go find a spot before everything gets taken!” Jihyo tells you with a smile, pulling you towards the stands. The two of you find a spot in the third row of the middle bleachers, giving you a solid view of the football field. You place your water bottle in the spot Wonwoo will sit, and you pull out your phone to tell him where you and Jihyo are sitting.

you: we’re in the third row, middle bleachers !!

“Those football uniforms really highlight their asses. Even if they don’t really have one, in those uniforms they do.” Jihyo says, and you snort at how true her statement is. You look up, seeing the football players running onto the field. You’re about to open your mouth to respond, when you catch sight of one of the players from the opposing team taking off his helmet. “Oh? That looks a lot like Wonwoo’s friend, Jeonghan. I didn’t know he played.”

“He’s cute.” Jihyo mutters appreciatively beside you, and you nod your head. Wonwoo has a lot of pictures of his friend group on Instagram, and it shocked you to see that all of them are handsome.

how you wished the guys at your school looked like this.

You watch as they all go to stand on the line, getting their names called over the loudspeakers. You tilt your head to the side when almost half of the opposing football team is filled with Wonwoo’s friends. “That’s so weird, almost all of Wonwoo’s friends are on their school’s football team.”

“And Wonwoo isn’t?” Jihyo asks, turning to glance at you as she prepares to take a sip of water. You shake your head, before letting out a small giggle, “Probably because he’s a bookworm-”

“Now we have #96, wide receiver Jeon Wonwoo.” Your mouth drops open, and Jihyo spits out her water back into the bottle. You stare with wide eyes as #96 takes off his helmet, revealing Wonwoo who’s sporting a big smile on his face. He runs a hand through his hair, revealing his forehead and strong eyebrows.

“Y-your summer fling...”

“He’s a jock?!”

Wonwoo squints at the middle bleachers, trying to find you from across the field. Jun turns his head to glance at his friend, letting out a chuckle when he sees the expression on his face. He nudges his shoulder, “Your face looks stupid.”

Wonwoo laughs, hitting Jun’s arm. “I’m trying to find yn, but she’s too far to see from here.”

“Bet you gave her the shock of her life.” Jeonghan jokes from beside him, and Wonwoo smiles.

“That was the goal.”

“Let’s go Wonwoo!!” You scream, not even caring that some of your classmates are glaring at you for cheering on the opposing team. Jihyo cheers alongside you, doing a victory dance whenever Wonwoo’s team scores.

It’s the fourth quarter, and Wonwoo’s team has the ball for the final seconds of the game. They need three more points to win, and there’s only thirty seconds left on the clock. In all honesty, they need a miracle to win this game.

To say you were shocked when you found out Wonwoo was on the football team was partially an understatement. However, finding out that he’s really fucking good at being a wide receiver almost made you pass out. Wonwoo, the guy who spent the whole summer trying to read all of the books in the science-fiction section at the local library, is among the fastest and best players on his team.

plot twist indeed luv.

You grasp Jihyo’s hand once they get out of their team huddle, watching Wonwoo go to his position. You feel anxious, and way too invested in a high school football game. The ball gets thrown to Seungcheol, and your eyes follow Wonwoo as he runs all the way down the field. You’re frozen once the ball leaves Seungcheol’s hands, shooting across the field towards Wonwoo.

It’s as if time slows down, and your heartbeat is loud against your ears as Wonwoo lifts his hands up. You squeeze Jihyo’s hand tightly, and your mouth drops open when Wonwoo fucking catches it. You and Jihyo scream when he sprints the last few feet towards the end zone.

“GO WONWOO!!” You screech, and you lift your arms up in victory when he runs into the end zone right as the buzzer goes off. Your eyes go to the board, 43-49. You and Jihyo jump together happily as Wonwoo takes off his helmet, a giant smile on his face as his friends run directly into him in a huge group hug.

“Guys let go of him! He’s been dying to go see his girl.” Jeonghan laughs, and heat rushes to Wonwoo’s face once the guys start cooing at him. He slaps Joshua’s arm once he starts up the kissy noises. “Shut up, she’s not my girl yet.”

“YET?!”

“I heard a yet fellas!”

“I hate it here, I’m gonna go see yn now.” Wonwoo says with a big smile on his face, effectively breaking away from his group and running towards the bleachers.

“I think he’s going to see you! GO DOWN!” Jihyo shouts once she sees Wonwoo running in your direction. She grabs the water bottles before taking your arm and pulling you out of the bleachers. The two of you sprint down the stairs while you whine,

“Jihyo stop dragging me!”

To which your loving best friend responds, “No bitch!”

You both run towards the opening in the fence, now on the track field. Wonwoo catches sight of you, running a bit faster until he meets you halfway. You let out a big smile, breaking out of Jihyo’s grip and immediately wrapping your arms around Wonwoo, even if he is sweaty. He freezes, before hugging you back, one hand cradling your head. You pull away after a moment so that you can look into his eyes, your guys’ arms still wrapped around each other.

“You should’ve told me you were on the team! I would’ve made you a poster!!” You scold, and Wonwoo lets out a laugh.

“I just won the biggest game of the school year and you’re yelling at me for not telling you I was on the football team?” He jokes, and you stick your tongue out at him. “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m doing. Makes me feel like a bad gir-friend. A bad friend.”

Wonwoo raises an eyebrow at your correction, and you look away as soon as you feel your cheeks turn warm at your mishap. Jihyo squeals quietly behind you two, taking as many pictures as she can. Wonwoo lifts his hand, resting it on your chin and making you turn your head so that you’re staring at him again.

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Will you be my girlfriend?” Wonwoo repeats, an amused smile forming on his face when you turn your head to see if he was asking someone else behind you. He squeezes your waist with his other hand, eliciting a squeal from you. “We’re literally hugging each other and you think I’m asking another girl to be my girlfriend?”

“I mean… maybe?” You respond, and Wonwoo chuckles, shaking his head at your silliness.

“But on a real note, will you be my girlfriend?” He asks more seriously, and you grin at him.

“Of course Wonwoo, I’ll be your girlfriend.”

“HELL YEAH!!!”

“LET’S GO BABY!!!”

“MY SHIP HAS SAILED!!!!” You and Wonwoo turn your heads to see his friends and Jihyo jumping up and down happily at the two of you becoming official. You raise a hand up to your mouth as you laugh at their antics, and Wonwoo rolls his eyes.

“I’m sorry about them.” He whispers to you, specifically eyeing Soonyoung and Seokmin making kissy faces towards you and Wonwoo. You turn your head towards your boyfriend, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, causing the guys and Jihyo to screech even louder. Wonwoo lifts a hand to the area, smile forming on his face as he turns to you.

“Consider it a winner’s kiss.” You tell him shyly, giving him finger guns. Wonwoo laughs at your cuteness, before leaning down and pressing a kiss to your forehead. Your eyes widen, and out of the corner of your eye you see Seungkwan and Chan fall to the track, unable to express how cute they find you two in words and screeches.

“Consider it a winner’s kiss as well, for getting me as your boyfriend.” Wonwoo jokes, and you roll your eyes.

“So cocky.”

“You love it though.”

“Just a smidge, bookworm.”

2K notes · View notes

peeterparkr · 4 years ago

Text

perennial;tom holland|twelve.

chapter twelve: petunias.

↳ flower meaning: resentment, and anger.

chapter summary: monologues of brokenhearts.

pairing: tom holland x y/n

warnings: this hurts, mention of Cherry, of cheating.

word count: 8.2K

SOCIAL MEDIA BEFORE THE CHAPTER:

masterlist & profiles

eleven: y/n’s birthday

previous chapter next chapter perennial masterlist.

perfidy ( series masterlist)

wanna be tagged?

Hi, I’m back, hope you like this, please give some feedback! It was a super hard chapter to write haha, but I like how it turned out also check out the holiday fic! it’ll be super fluffy haha if you need a break from angst from this fic! so yes, please help me out because tags aren’t working well so yeS!

Shoutout to @jambrosemc for helping me get out of my writers block for this one!

Falling in love with your enemy means falling in love with someone who knows exactly how to hurt you, and falling in love with Tom meant knowing she’d take a long risk.

But she had taken the risk, and she had said it before, how she’d have her heart broken by him again.

But…

Not this.

There are different kinds of heartbreaks, the sudden ones and the ones forming for a long time. The kind of heartbreak when the quirks that you once loved make you fall out of love, or the kind of heartbreaks where the silence becomes too loud. When the days are too short and the nights too long.

When y/n referred to having her heart broken by Tom, she meant exactly that, the one heartbreak that doesn’t hurt as much, the heartache that you’re calm with because you both know you gave your best.

Not this.

It was like a truck suddenly hitting her.

Not this.

Y/N hadn’t really acknowledged the Cherry thing. She had ignored it, saying it wasn’t real, at first, as if postponing the real heartbreak, but then she was seeing it right there in front of her.

Everything had poofed. All the magic, all the good things. A glass was suddenly broken, and the pieces had pierced right through her very own heart. Besides the glass had broken and now there was no window hiding it, she could clearly see it. And though it had been just a matter of seconds, it had felt like a thousand years.

This feeling was so familiar, going all over it again, as if this was that one very night at the club when that pink skirt had kissed Tom.

The very night when she’d learned heartbreaks can be felt. And man, did it hurt, did it sting.

A scene. She should make a scene.

Because this had been the worst one yet. This one had hurt the most. She didn’t know how the hell she was standing right there, keeping her posture.

Had her heart stopped? Is this what dying felt like? And it felt like there was no one else there, just her seeing them. No packed up club. No. No, there was nothing left to do. And that was it. She wanted to run away.

And so she did, because really. Though y/n was selfish and stupid or whatever adjective they liked to use to describe her, she always, even if people didn’t notice, put people she loved before her, and so she knew that if she dared to make a scene, knowing who was at the club, it would be everywhere.

But she was also selfish, and she didn’t want to be on every celebrity news site. So instead, she decided to remove herself from that one narrative. As dramatic as it could be, she decided to run off, hoping no one would see her.

Tom did see her. And he tried to reach out for her. But she got lost through the crowd. Tom knew, Tom knew he had fucked up.

It seemed like too many things had gone by in just merely a few seconds. Y/N hadn’t been the only one who had noticed the kiss, James had.

But y/n didn’t know that. And although, she had wanted to scream, shout and yell at every single person in that room, she didn’t.

She ran to the bathroom, first, to take a deep breath as she clung to the sink. She was shaking.

How the hell had she ignored it long enough? And why had she? Ignoring it had only meant this would hurt more.

She couldn’t breathe.

Because, honestly, how could she? Was she supposed not to hurt? Honestly, what she wanted to do is curl up in the middle of the bathroom and cry. And cry. And cry.

But she didn’t, y/n had been brave enough to walk out of the bathroom, and she saw Tom trying to look up through the crowd for her. She barely could hear a thing, not sure if it was the actual music playing or her trying to avoid the drama, but she didn’t hear anything, everything was busy.

Little did y/n know there had been a chaos. She hadn’t herself made a scene, but Tom had.

It’s fair to say, Tom had not been the one to kiss Cherry. He, however, should know that though one never asks for a kiss, we hint it.

That had been the problem.

But he hadn’t hinted at it. We must know that this was one big misunderstanding, that had been cooking up for a while now and just like that, the one teapot had sung, and it had exploded.

There was a lot going on, y/n hadn’t noticed. Just the faint song playing in the background.

Sam had stopped her.

“y/n, are you okay?” He had seen the look on her face.

“No,” had been her only answer. She really wasn’t.

“What--?”

“Ask your brother if he’s not too busy snogging Cherry,” y/n had snapped.

“Che-?” Then Sam had been disappointed in his own brother. Because how could he? Why would he?

Y/N had the same question. And she’d ran off Sam’s grip. He had understood.

She had only walked outside, decisively. She hadn’t cried inside but the moment she had walked out, it felt like she was freed from the one chaos and off to the one she was feeling herself.

Right inside, Sam had reached for his brother who was currently yelling at Cherry, asking her what in the bloody world was going on. With Timothée, who was asking him the same thing at Tom. And Emma, too.

“What in the bloody world is fucking wrong with you?” Emma had yelled at Cherry. “It’s your cousin’s boyfriend! And You!” She had turned to Tom. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Was this your fucking bloody plan?” Tim said. “Were you actually not in love with her and you're doing Rome 2.0?!”

“He didn’t do it!” James had yelled. Because James had been the only one who saw the scene.

Tom hadn’t… He couldn’t talk. Tom knew it. Tom knew this time… This was it.

James had seen the scene, a bit, Tom was dancing, and watching y/n. He had seem bothered but his eyes were on y/n, and only y/n, though, he hadn’t hesitated as Cherry had danced with him, he had played along.

Cherry had told James something, minutes before going with Tom.

“I am in love with him.”

Though Tom had a lot to blame on that situation, James knew this wasn’t Tom per se. Because James over the course of this week had, although, hesitated on Tom, he knew that Tom was very in love with his sister. Problem was Tom sabotaged himself, and this seemed like the one sabotage he wouldn’t get out of. James had been unsure as to what she was supposed to answer to Cherry’s statement, he had only gone to the bar to get a drink, and assimilate, he had invited Cherry, but James had lost track of where Cherry was, and as soon as James had found her, her lips were already on Tom.

Tom had pushed her off right away, we must point that out.

But then, James saw it, y/n had seen it.

And he had tried to follow after y/n, but she had really easily got lost. The lights and music had been no help.

But he knew his sister and after clearing it up to Emma, though he didn’t have to, that it had not been Tom, he had known where his sister was.

And so he had ran out of the club, and James had reached out for y/n, unsure of what to tell her.

She had yelled at James, at Clark, but one knight in shining armor had come to her rescue. Harry.

Not in the way she had expected him to, but Harry was going exactly through the same situation y/n was. Or maybe not, but he had decided he should leave. And so as he was hopping on to his uber, y/n decided to hop along with him as well, seeing Tom had just walked out of the bar.

Harry, confused, only watched her.

He couldn’t really help her, either, he was going through a heartbreak as well. So funny, the two friends had just witnessed the love of their lives kissing someone else.

“I’m sorry,” y/n said. “I had to leave.”

Harry didn’t know what had happened, luckily enough for him, and for Tom, he had not been aware of the big drama that was still going on at that club. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to ask, as y/n was trying to catch her breath.

She was broken, as she hadn’t been before. Harry had seen every single stage of a sad y/n, but this was different. She was sobbing and weeping and mumbling unreasonably.

Harry couldn’t soothe her sorrow. Because he had to have his own sorrow, he couldn’t help it.

But y/n had let out one last sob before calming down. Silently. As if she had had one sudden last realization.

“I’m… I’m sorry, where are you going?” Y/N asked.

Harry shrugged. “I don’t know, something to eat, I just wanted to leave,” he admitted.

“I’m sorry I… interrupted your escape.”

“No, it’s okay,” Harry nodded. “I guess you needed to, as well.”

“What happened to you?”

“Emma kissed Josh,” Harry said. Y/N had widened her eyes and curled up close to him. “What happened to you? Did Tom and Tim fight?”

Y/N stayed quiet.

“Or…?”

“Tom and Cherry kissed.”

Harry felt his heart stopped as soon as he had listened to it. This… At least he wasn’t seeing Emma. Yes, it hurt, but he was not dating her. His own sorrow didn’t have reason but y/n’s?

He hugged her close.

“Wanna go for some fries?” He asked.

“Yes.”

They stayed quiet, but they hugged each other close, and both understood neither of them could give out any advice or whatever.

They went to the diner. Harry knew that a feeling of familiarity would help y/n, and he knew that it would help him because it was the only place he could think of.

Neither of them had said anything, and y/n had tried to clean up the smudge mascara and glitter on her face, now tracing the trails of her tears.

She had asked for a milkshake and Harry had asked for a coffee, and she was wearing Harry’s jacket.

The scene was painted clearly. Both of them were so heartbroken, but different kinds of ones. Both of them full of sadness and sorrow.

“How are you feeling?” Harry asked.

y/n looked up. “Empty.”

And Harry knew this was the worst feeling of a heartbreak. Because Harry was sad, and feeling guilty. But feeling empty was the one thing that he knew y/n hated. Because usually y/n could easily say how she was feeling: ‘Sad’, ‘Angry’, ‘Disappointment’.

Empty.

She was feeling empty, and feeling empty gives us no inkling to fight, feeling empty gives us no reason to cry or yell. Feeling empty means giving up.

Empty.

“You?” She asked.

“Sad,” he answered, as they’d brought them their fries. “Very sad.”

Y/N nodded. “Emma doesn’t have feelings for him,” she assured him. “I know that.”

“I know,” Harry said. “I know, but she did it to…”

“Prove a point, yeah,” y/n said. “I know, that only makes it hurt more, doesn’t it?”

Harry looked at y/n. “He doesn’t-”

“I know, he did it to hurt me,” y/n answered,her voice had cracked. Her phone was ringing. It was James. She ignored it.

Y/N didn’t know how to put it into words, actually. How to actually say what she was feeling. She was actually empty, but so full of emotions. She was enraged, she was sad, upset, disappointed and hurt, and just too much going on, but at the same time she didn’t want to do anything about it. Not cry. Not yell. Not anything.

It felt the same way it had those years ago. Pink skirt.

But this hurt more, because even when she had made mistakes herself, she knew she didn’t deserve this.

Because she felt like she knew the ending to this, she wished she didn’t, but this felt so familiar. Y/N had died a little that night. It felt dark, like she had been on fire but all she was was ashes now.

And there was that feeling that she didn’t want to waste more tears on him, she didn’t want to. She had become a ghost, Tom had killed her that night. Any hope. That was it, there was that feeling that she should fight but she couldn’t because there was no life left on her. Not at that moment.

Tom hadn’t called her.

“I’m sorry he did it,” Harry said.

“I guess I…” She didn’t know. “I didn’t expect him to hurt me this time, and he did it, turning my worst fear into another nightmare I can’t wake up from.”

Harry didn’t know what to say.

“And I don’t want to cry.”

“You do need to,” Harry said.

“I won’t,” she admitted.

They stayed there, quietly. Neither of them knowing what to say.

“Want me to take you home?”

“No, because Tim will be there, and I don’t want go to your place because-”

“Tom will be there and at your aunt’s… yeah,” Harry finished her sentence. “Let’s go get a hotel room, then.”

They did. And it was good for both of them.

And she was expecting for the call. Staring at her phone, waiting for it. Tom. Please, please, please.

He didn’t.

And she didn’t have it in herself to call her, she didn’t have the strength or the power or anything. She was empty.

Her worst enemy. He knew how to hurt her.

Harry knew what this meant. Because Harry knew what was going on through her head.

Tom had been the first one to put that fear on y/n when they were young, why would anyone want you, and then Louis had enforced it. Louis had said it to her ‘you’re replaceable, nothing special, that’s why everyone leaves.’ Just as Louis had found another girl.

Then Tom had done the pink skirt show. And Tim, not knowing this, had also enforced it, right after y/n and Tim had broken up, Tim had found a rebound.

And now this.

This was y/n’s worst fear, and that’s why she felt so unbelievably broken, because of course Tom would do it again. Was this only just another way of Tom to ruin her? Were they still enemies or why was he doing this?

Or was she truly replaceable? Boring.

Harry wanted to know what was going on in her mind. She was lost in her memory, staring blankly at the elevator door as they went up to the hotel room. Harry wasn’t sure if he was supposed to stay.

“Please, stay,” she had begged him.

And he had, because he also needed company.

She had only sat on the bed, staring at nothing, as if she was trying to understand the situation, figure out why, map everything out.

Harry exhaled. Knowing that he too, had to let it out, and knowing that she would listen.

He wanted to cheer her up, and he wanted to remind her of good times, get her head out of it, but he didn’t know how to get out himself. He wanted to calm her, comfort her, but he couldn’t.

And he knew his heartbreak probably couldn’t compare to his but his guilt was always eating him.

“Did he ever truly love me?” y/n asked.

Harry didn’t know what to answer to that question, because he was wondering about it himself. How could anyone ever kiss someone if you’re in love with…

But then again, he had kissed y/n knowing he was deeply in love with Emma.

“Yes,” he said.

“Why did he sleep with her?” She asked, the emotion was building up. “I… why did he kiss her?”

Harry shrugged. “I have no idea.” But he knew y/n wasn’t really looking for an answer. She was probably asking questions to herself.

“Why did he do it” She asked now louder as she stood up. “Why did I-” And she was having difficulty to breath. “Why didn’t I see it coming? Why have I been ignoring it? Does he have feelings for her? Did he do it to hurt me again? Was it a prank? Is it a prank again? Is he… Is it like” She was yelling in between breaths, as she was shaking. “Is this… Is this all over again? Did he do it just to- What did I do wrong? What if he.. What if… I can’t… I don’t… Why is he doing this? Why hasn’t he called me? Will he… Will he come over again and say he never meant anything and it--- I was--- Did he--- Harry why did --- why did he do this?” She had spoken loudly, quickly and barely breathing, screaming but quietly, as if she was only externalizing every thought in her head, she had to sit down again, now tears blurring her sight. “Did… he ever truly love me?” She asked, quietly, as she sat down on the bed. “Why would-” She was inhaling and exhaling deeply.

Harry hated seeing her like this so he only brought her close to him, holding her closely. She cried against his chest, and they had laid down, with him holding her. Knowing that this was what she needed, she couldn’t be left alone.

“I’m sorry Harry, you’re brokenhearted-” She had said at one point as she had sat up.

“It’s nothing like yours,” Harry admitted.

She had walked around the room. “Why did I have to fall in love with him?”

Harry didn’t say anything.

“I wish I hadn’t,” she said. “Look at all the pain and now--” She bit her lip. “I guess, I have… This is on me-”

“No, it’s not.”

“No, it is, because I’ve been avoiding the whole Cherry thing,” she said. “I thought that by avoiding it, it would eventually fade away and disappear, and… I know I fucked up, but not even on my worst mistakes, no matter what I did, I didn’t deserve this,” she said.

“No.”

“And I’m....” She sighed. “He doesn't’ have feelings for her, does he?”

“No.”

She had opened up the frigobar, and gotten out a bottle of vodka and some m&m’s.

“That’s what- He kissed her because he knew I’d be watching her, and he’s probably trying to get back at me for… dancing with Timmy? Is it that this time?” She sighed. “I don’t know what for he is getting back at me this time, and I can’t… Can you bloody believe that just 24 hours ago I thought… I… I thought I was strong enough to go through another heartbreak and look at me.”

Harry watched her.

“It hurt more than last time, I thought I… had gotten used to it but you can never get used to the love of your life hurting you,” she was too… sure of it. “And… I’m an idiot, and… I don’t know, I want to know what I did wrong this time, but… Here I am, wondering, and I know this isn’t me, this is Tom, and maybe I was so stupid and I havent’ seen it, maybe it was all a big hoax for him trying to hurt me again,” she scoffed. “like he did back after Rome, and here I thought he was… I don’t know, how stupid am I? This is on me, for giving myself to him completely, and now… I don’t want to… I just need an answer this time, I don’t need… I don’t need an apology, I just need an answer, I need to… I curse myself, for falling in love with him without taking any precautions,” she took a deep breath, as tears were slowly falling down her face. “And yes sure, I wrote a script and I… Wanted to get back at him, but I never did, you know? And I never would, for that matter, because... This is on me, this is my punishment for falling in love with my biggest enemy, with a memory. And maybe this is… what we were supposed to be since the very beginning, you know?”

Harry only watched her as she sipped down the mini bottle.

“I regret falling in love with him,” she stated. “And it’s… so hard, because how can… you ever regret the one person that at some point you were the happiest to?” she asked, not expecting an answer, she had walked to the window to see the night sky that was slowly yawning into the morning. “And… It… Harry it makes no sense, because when I… When I looked into his eyes, I saw…I saw the world,” she still sounded full of hope, but just as she said each word, the hope was fading away. “But now it seems like all of it was a lie, a dream and I can’t believe how quickly it ended and how easily all of that broke it’s like the universe is telling me that I’m… I’m the fool, and I didn’t… I didn’t ask for much, and I… I can’t believe I’m waiting for his call,and he’s not calling me, Harry, why isn’t he… “ She took a deep breath as she tried to suppress a sob. “Was this his plan all along? To break me so I’d end up getting drunk on a hotel bar?” She wondered. “Because it makes no sense Harry, I… just last night I thought I wanted to spend my whole life with him,” she shook her head, staring at the ground. “That he was the answer to all my problems but I guess…He was my problem,” she sighed. “I was always supposed to lose him, because he’s never been mine, has he?” She asked to the night. Why would… why would he hurt me this way if not?” She was trying to figure out herself, blurting out every thought. “Why is he… Cant he see he is… was… everything to me? Can’t he understand that… I’ve…” She sat down beside Harry again and he only brushed her back. “And now I’m going through it, and it just makes no sense.” She let out a heavy breath. “And yes, I’ve done bad things, but this? Why did he have to fade away so quickly?” She looked up, hurt, her voice was breathy, and Harry had never heard her so broken. “And why is he not trying to apologize? And do I even want him to?” She stood up and ran a hand through her hair. “But god, I don’t want to go there again, I… This feels like that one time.” She hugged herself as she finally let out a quiet sob. “And now it slipped away, and it was so close, and it was so close, so…. Close… and did I not give him everything?” She licked her inner cheeks, taking a long pause, but Harry knew he wasn’t supposed to answer just yet. “It is that? Was I not enough? Is it that?”

Harry only stared at her, as he could see her mind being loud. She went quiet. But he knew that she had a million thoughts, like she always did.

“Maybe it’s that, “ she nodded slowly. “Maybe I’m boring, Louis had said it, hadn’t he?” Y/N scoffed slowly. “But… I don’t know? Was I supposed to give more?” She sat down on the one chair in the room and then turned quieter. “For me it was enough, but he was… never mine.”

Harry wondered if this was how Emma felt. Though he should be helping y/n, he had to wonder if this was how Emma felt. But they were different, y/n and Emma, but he guessed it was somehow similar.

“And now he… he took everything from me, he just… I’ll…” She couldn’t continue. “Harry how am I supposed… What am I supposed to do now? And yes I know I made mistakes by not wanting to talk, but what use would it have been if he was going to break my heart anyway, and why hasn’t he called?” She asked again and started at her phone and closed her eyes. “ I.. I should put my phone back in normal mode, but I know… “ she mumbled. “What if he… What if he goes and sleep with her and doesn’t care?” She asked. “And… Or is he doing this because of Tim?” she groaned. “I don’t… love Tim,” she stated. “and I’ve known it for a long time, and, though I tried to convince myself I should I never… “ She closed her eyes again, shaking her head. “It’s always been Tom and now it doesn’t matter because all he does is break me and I didn’t want to believe that and he.. “ She checked her phone. “He hasn’t called or texted and… Was this on purpose?” She asked, and walked through the room. “And I tried to adjust myself to this and I didn’t want to talk about it, because I thought..” She raised her voice. “if I ignore it long enough it’ll fade, and we can build us a happy ending and it’ll be alright, just me and him and…” she sighed. “And now it’s long gone, Harry, it’s long gone and now it’s not… I don't know, and I… I've never done anything to hurt him, and what about Tom? why did he have to...At least… Did he even try this time? Or was it… It’s I can’t believe this.” She plopped on her bed.

Harry plopped beside her.

“Tom loves you,” Harry said, because he was sure of that. “I don’t… understand this, this doesn’t sound…”

“Oh, no piss off, this is totally him.”

“He always… I guess, he became the villain he was supposed to be,” Harry explained.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“He just... “ Harry squeezed his eyes. “Look, he was always told that Tim was perfect, and he always ws the bad one, you know? And maybe he was told that long enough he became the villain.”

“But he’s not a villain for me,” she said. “Not this time, and even when I was writing the script I always saw him and… Didn’t I love him?” She sat up. “ Didn’t I show him that he is…”Tears were streaming down, she cleaned them up. “Gosh, why am I even crying?” She asked herself. “I… I… I didn’t expect him to hurt me, though I said that to James, I was scared yes, but not… I don’t know, I didn’t feel like myself because I don’t know, and I was scared it would end but not like this, and you don’t-”

“I don’t know, y/n he sabotages himself,” Harry explained, still on the bed, stealing the liquor from her hand and taking a sip.

She plopped back beside him. “But why does he? Why...I don’t even understand this. I… I am done with this.”

Harry turned to look at her. “Are you?”

“I don’t know. Was he getting back at me for the script?” She groaned. “Was he… angry that the first person I slept with was Tim?”

“I dunno, did he find out about you and Tim sleeping together?” He asked.

She shook her head. “Even if he did, that gives him no right to it. I .I can’t. “

“I know it doesn’t but this is Tom,” Harry stated matter-of-factly.

“That’s my point,” y/n took a deep breath. “Why is he like this? Why is he like that Harry?” she whined. “Why does he feel like even if I slept with TIm it gives him the right to hurt me? Why does he… He knows he fucking owns my heart then why the hell does she do that? “ she frowned. And then crushed the m&m’s. “He fucking decides to rip it off and crush it.”

“I wanted m&m’s.”

“Why can’t he… I didn’t… I didn’t sleep with Tim to hurt him, I slept with Tim to not feel like shit, because when I saw him… when I saw that picture with Cherry, he kissed her cheek like he used to kiss mine and I just…”She sighed. “I… what if... Maybe he does have feelings for Cherry and I don’t-

“He doesn’t.”

“The eyes he gave her-”

“They’re not the same eyes he gives to you, y/n,” Harry said. Though he really didn’t want to defend his brother, and though this was so shitty of his brother, something didn’t sit right with him.

“No, I don’t know,” y/n said.

Harry bit his lip. “I look...I don’t know, but, Tom is stupid okay and I don’t know why he would do this but I can assure you he doesn’t have any feelings for her.”

“Why is he doing this?” She asked. “because look, Emma?” she turned to him, and Harry turned to her to. “Emma did this because she wants your attention, she fucking wants to convice herself that she is supposed to be angry and she is doing this because she… I don’t know, because this is herself trying to tell you she’s better off without you, or that she wants you to fight for her, or-”

“Yes I know, she did this to show me how it feels,” Harry nodded.

“But Tom? Why the fuck is he doing that?” she grabbed a pillow and hugged it. “I never know why he does this? Even when we were young he used to do stuff that will always have me second guessing and now this?.”

“I wish I knew.”

Y/N shook her head. “And I love him. After all of this, I love him, “ she sounded tired. “But I—I won’t. This is why this hurts too much, this is why I regret falling in love with him so deeply because it wouldn’t have mattered. And I know I hurt him but he doesn’t know how I’ve felt, he doesn’t even—And fucking cherry, I’m her bloody cousin, why did she do that? And--- didn’t Tom say he didn’t want to fuck up this time? I had already dried my tears, and he said he wouldn’t fuck up, didn’t he?”

“He did.”

She sat up again. “Then why did he?” she was sad again. “All I asked was to be loved, and all I ever wanted was to feel loved, and not get into this darkness and I thought I didn’t have to fear him and.. He was so…” she was turning quiet. “warm and calm, and I was free, you know?” she sighed heavily. “I just wanted him to love me, that’s it, I didn't ask for anything else, to love me every single moment you know? I just wanted to... “She was crying. “I don’t know, and I thought he would. And I’m an idiot because I knew I’d need him until my last breath, but I can’t… believe he decided to murder me tonight.” She hugged her knees. “He assured me he wouldn’t want to hurt me this time, he said it, that my fears should be left behind me, and then why did he… use them as a weapon? Was it still a war? And… I don’t want to be lonely again. But everytime he breaks my heart I get lonelier.”

“You’re not lonely, though,” Harry said.

“I feel like it.”

“I don’t… know what to tell you,” Harry admitted.

“That’s a first,” y/n sighed. “You’ve always known.”

Harry bit his lip. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry I haven’t even let you…” She looked at him. “How do you feel?”

Harry shrugged. “Dunno, I feel like I’m… I deserve it you know, and I mean I’m-”

“You don’t, nobody deserves pain coming their way,” she said.

“Yet, we’re both here,” Harry took a deep breath. “And I know she’s always going to blame me for it. Maybe that’s why we both-”

“Why you’ve been avoiding me, yes,” y/n said. “And… Why I’ve been avoiding you as well.”

“We didn’t need to add more drama did we?” Harry scoffed. “Us hanging out would just-”

“Yeah,” she sighed. “But… does it matter?”

“Guess it doesn’t,” he sighed. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too, honestly,” she said.

“And okay, this is going to sound- but it’s not meant to sound this way, but I hate you for falling in love with my brother because of all people...him?”

“Shut up.”

“Like, I don’t mean it in…” He sighed. “I wish I could give you advice but-”

“But you’re also loyal to him,” she sighed. “You can’t truly be on my side. “

“Oh, I am on your side,” Harry clicked his tongue. “I don’t understand why he is doing this,” he admitted. “I don’t… get it.”

“Don’t get it either,” y/n sighed. “And he hasn’t called.

“Think he will?”

“Hope he will,” she said. “Or maybe not,” she sighed. “Maybe not.”

“He… texted me,” Harry admitted.

Y/N looked at him.

“He asked if I was with you and if you were safe,” Harry asked.

“That’s it?”

Harry nodded and showed her the text. Nothing else. Y/N sighed.

“Want me to ask him anything?” He offered.

She did, for that matter. What the hell was wrong with him? For starters. “No,” she answered instead.

“No?”

She shook her head. “No.” Because, if he hadn’t asked, then it didn’t bother him. Why hadn’t he asked how she was doing or… Or, honestly why had-- No, of course he wouldn’t. No, because asking it on text… no. But why hadn’t he asked where they were?

Why hadn’t he come with yellow flowers? Or would he—the next day? And say it was all a prank?

“Emma texted me too,” y/n confessed. “Only asked if I was okay.”

“And what did you answer?”

“That I wasn’t.”

Neither of them had really acknowledged it. But eventually, they had fallen asleep, holding each other. In the most innocent way they could, just two best friends broken-hearted who didn’t know how to heal each other.

Eventually the both woke up, with not a tinge of guilt. Though maybe they should’ve. But they didn’t. Y/N had barely slept if she was honest, she kept waking over and over and checking her phone to see if he dared to call her.

Tom hadn’t called her.

At some point they both had woken up, y/n had explained a lot about what had gone before New York, after New York. Here in LA, before Tom arrived and how it had gone now he had. And things after Rome, before Rome.

Harry had talked about how his feelings had gone through with her, how eventually he had realized that he didn’t love her the way he had thought he had, or maybe he had. And how at some points he did still feel bitter about them not being able to be together. How his life had changed, and how much he had missed her, how he had seen her face at places where they used to have fun in. But how his mind came back to Emma.

How he understood that love wasn’t something easy to comprehend. And that at some point he did wish it had been y/n, because it would’ve been fun, and easier, not the mess they were both going with.

How Harry’s dreams had changed, he still wanted to go on adventures but they didn’t make any sense if Emma was there. And how he wished he could continue with more movies, but how he knew that their very best projects, they’d both, Harry and y/n, built together would never see the light. But how fun could it be?

He did wonder how things would be different had they done something, but both of them realizing they wouldn’t have worked out, because they… just were too similar or knew too much, and knowing too much leads us to one’s doom.

And they talked on how maybe with each other it would have been fun, and easy, but they simply weren’t meant to be.

Harry talked about Emma, how she was the one he smiled with, remembering those pair of high heels she loved to wear, and that lipstick she loved. But how stupid he was because he’s young, and how y/n was right and he shouldn’t have proposed that soon, but how couldn’t he? He knew it, Emma and Harry were meant to be. But now he blew it because after chasing the wrong one, he’d lost the right one. However, Harry knew that Emma and Harry were meant to cross paths again.

And Harry talked about how Emma was the one person who’d loved him no matter what, flaws and all, and how it felt like a kiss in the middle of the forest, but with a summer breeze. Daylight.

How he missed daylight.

He hadn’t had any since Emma was gone.

Y/N listened, and wished someone could ever talk about her some day. And it hurt y/n, just a little. Because she had said it: probably the only one who did was Tim. Because she knew Tom didn’t. Or she didn’t believe it at that point.

And then y/n explained how Tim had lied, or suppressed a truth. How she felt she’d used Tim, but how she was inexplicably drawn to him. But she guessed it was because she didn’t feel replaceable with him.

The sun had finally peaked through the room, and Harry and y/n didn’t want to go anywhere, but Harry had offered to go to her place and get her some clothes, and y/n had agreed. She wasn’t fond of the clothes she had been wearing the night before and now her face was still covered on the smudge makeup. Honestly her face was probably a representation of her own feelings. Dirty and messy and unfixable. She didn’t want to go back into her place because she didn’t want to run into Timmy, and she knew she would. And she really didn’t want to. Because honestly, her heart was not in the mood and she knew how it would go, Timmy saying that he told her so, that Tom was this and that. And Timmy would take her vulnerability and she would give in because he doesn’t make her feel like shit and that’s what she didn’t want.

Right now, even though this was all wrong, she did want to feel like shit so it could all boil up. And she didn’t want to hear Tim go over and over on how Tom was shit.

And yes he probably was but this. This was y/n not wanting to accept it, she needed to boil it up.

Harry had gone to y/n’s place, and y/n had painted Harry the picture, that probably Timothee would be there waiting up for her, she had said it:

“He’ll have fresh coffee and will be cooking breakfast waiting for me to arrive so he is the one to comfort me.”

Harry had never seen y/n like this, so knowingly. He had underestimated her, y/n was very aware of many things, and one of those things was Timothee, of course she knew that Tim would climb and move mountains for her, and she liked it because who doesn’t like being treated like an angel?

And y/n had been right, Tim did have fresh coffee when Harry had knocked on the door. Not breakfast, but Tim did have a cup for himself.

“Oh, Harry?” Tim had said with surprise.

“Did you really expect y/n?” Harry snapped harshly.

“I-well, no, honestly, thought you’d be Tom searching for her,” he admitted. “I… Is she okay?”

Harry didn’t like Timothée at that point. Because Harry didn’t know why but he felt like Tim had a lot to do with the events from the night before. Because after what he’d heard y/n say, Harry thought that Tim was probably ruthless and would do anything for y/n.

Harry didn’t know what answer to give to Timothee, because Tim was the enemy here, Harry knew. “She’s fine,” that’s what Harry had gone with.

“Oh.”

“I came to pick up her clothes,” Harry said. “I think-”

“She told me,” Emma had said, popping from her room. Harry had tried to avoid seeing inside, fearful that Josh would be there. He wasn’t. “Now come here, before you see the big mess waiting to happen.”

Harry glanced at Tim before following Emma into y/n’s room, he’d seen a pillow and a blanket on the couch. Emma took out some clothes, and then went to the bathroom, picked up her toothbrush, and packed it up all quietly for Harry.

Emma handed it over, “So you run to y/n?” She asked.

“I’m not-”

“You are, Harry, you chose her over-”

“I’m not choosing her over you,” Harry snapped. “I’m just---”

“You just what Harry?”

“What do you expect me to do?” Harry said. “You have you friend here, Tim,” he pushed. “She needs a friend and a friend who actually-”

“Who is in love with-”

Harry almost dropped the bag. “Look Emma I know I fucked up,” he said. “I was confused because I did have a crush on her and I mixed my feelings and I still love her and she’s my best friend but I realized that I never felt the way with her I felt about you, you were—are my everything,” he said. “You really are the only one I want, and you’re the onand I feel so stupid for letting you go, and I feel so stupid for breaking your heart and I’m dying because I don’t know what happened, I don’t know how to bloody talk to you anymore, I’m---”He sighed. “Because you simply push me away and you just don’t—I know I did something bad alright? I know I was the one to—be wrong but I didn’t plan on it, I was so happy with you, you were the only fucking star on ym sky, okay? … you’re you’re … I know you feel like I want her and I know it, but Emma! we were engaged and I’m sure we were so happy and I curse both Tom and y/n because they didn’t talk and they didn’t solve it and look where it’s led them!” He snapped. “I… meanwhile I’ve tried to talk to you because I want something with you that will last, I want us to be transparent and I want you to be happy but if you’re happy with someone else I get it, and if you only kissed him to make me feel the way you feel I get it, I did something utterly wrong but I’m—I am just—confused because this is not you, or maybe I’m wrong and this is the most you you can be,” he sighed. “And I don’t know, you just want me out of your life or… I don’t-”

“I didn’t want you to be out of my life,” she said.

“I know, and I didn’t want to be either, but you’re really keeping me out and I get it, I’m sorry, you don’t understand how sorry I was, and I’ll regret it my whole life because I decided to let go of the one, but I was confused very confused, , and you’re just watching me as if I was a stranger, Emma, and I know I get no other chance but you don’t even listen to me, I don’t love her like you think I do, and I am I don’t know I feel like a stranger, to you, to y/n, and I—don’t like that.” Harry said. “And I get it, you were hurt and I will never stop blaming myself for it…. And I know I’ve been absent, but I—don’t know how to approach you, but I love you so, so much—you’re incredible Emma, you are this amazing person who doesn’t give a flying fuck about what everyone has to say, and that’s what I love about you among another million reasons, and you’re literally the only person that I want to share my happiness with and I want to build plans and chase dreams with but…. I—yes right now I’m gonna take care of y/n, because last night… She broke completely, okay? And… just like when… our engagement party, and Tim was there for you, and you are strong, I know it gives me no excuse but… I’m not doing this because-She’s my best friend, and I’m just trying to help her but I—I can't see her as anything but as a best friend and as the girl my brother is deeply in love with, and as the girl whose heart was absolutely shattered last night.”

Emma didn’t say anything.

“I really want to fix things with you,” he added. “And if you give me the chance, I’ll prove to you how much you mean to me, and if… If you if you think… If you want me to stay right now and not go, fine, I’ll do that. Because you’re my everything, Emma.”

Emma only nodded and handed him her plush frog, too. “She’s gonna need it,” she said.

“But can we talk, later?”

“Yes, now go, she needs you.”

With that Harry had a blessing to go, but when he had come back to the hotel room, he hadn’t found y/n.

Because y/n, as soon as Harry had left, she had left herself. Y/N had had time with herself, and the rage had boiled up, and sometimes rage is confused with bravery, and stupidity.

She’d gone to the flower shop, first. Aunt Eliza was behind the counter.

“Y/N, dear, what happened to you?”

“Didn’t Cherry tell you?” Y/N snapped, and then took a deep breath, knowing this was not to blame on her. “Sorry-I-”

“No, she didn’t come back home last night.”

And there it was again. That feeling. The tears. No, no, had this come to her worst nightmare again?

“She didn’t?” y/n just had to make sure.

“No,” Eliza said. “What happened?”

Y/N didn’t have the heart to tell her aunt, but she did anyway. “Your daughter kissed Tom.”

Eliza watched y/n as if she understood her state now, as if suddenly it all made sense. “I’m--sorry.”

“And she slept with him before she came here, yeah,” she added. “So-Yeah, I’m not exactly fond of her right now, I’m sorry,” y/n said.

“I... Don’t know what-”

“This ain’t your fault, no need to worry.”

“I didn’t raise-”

“I know, I know, look, I just… need some flowers, alright? I… these ones, I’ll take them, you can take them off from my salary-”

“No, no, take them, whichever you want, y/n dear I’m sorry sorry-”

“No, really, it’s okay,” y/n interrupted as she took a bouquet of mostly yellow flowers. It was pretty enough, but it didn’t matter, in all honesty.

And she left without giving any other explanation, probably the uber thought she was mental but y/n couldn’t care any less. She didn’t care that she was crying in the back of the car of an uber, because Tom still hadn’t called her and she had some idea why. How dare he?

And it hurt even more, and she felt emptier, but now she was also full of it.

Y/N had shown up to that place Tom had rented. And though she looked deplorable she didn’t even care because he had to see this, her state, this is what he’d done to her. And she had the right to make a scene.

He hadn’t been the one to open the door, for her own surprise, it had been James.

“y/N! Oh, you’re- Harry told me you’d be at a hotel-”

“Where the fuck is he?” Y/N snapped.

James backed away, knowing so damn well he shouldn’t mess with his sister.

“He’s in the shower,” he said. “I think he-”

“Fine,” y/n walked past her brother and started to make her way to the shower.

“Wait, wait, y/n, want to wait for him?” James suggested.

“No,” y/n snapped.

“He had a really bad night-”

“Oh,” Y/n stopped. “Did he now? Oh, what a shame I had such a fucking wonderful night!”

James took a deep breath and took his sister’s shoulders. “Y/N, it’s-”

“I don’t care James-are you on his fucking side? Is she here-?”

“What?”

“You know what I want to hear from him,” she stormed off, and James followed after.

“Y/N don’t you want to wait until-”

“I’ve seen his fucking dick James, I don’t bloody care!” She snapped, before running into the bathroom. Knowing damn well she was taking a risk of seeing someone she didn’t want to.

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count-woe-laf · 4 years ago

Text

Who’s your friend?

Prompt 53 from @someonehelp sorry that it took so long and if it’s not what you wanted, I may have accidently written it for @coconut-cluster ‘s battle of the bands au and this post and its tags because my brain could not stop thinking about it. The au is hers and y’all should go check it out, I love it

Thank you @knight-of-cauldrons for helping me with the names and lovely people from the Roman Arson Squad for helping me with other stuff too and @me-a-mess-morelikelythanyouthink for helping me edit stuff and talking about this until 4am with me so I knew what to write, I appreciate it, (also the drumstick things is entirely her fault (maybe a little bit of mine))

Pre-romantic prinxiety, there’s a few swears, very brief mention of murder/death, the ending and middle is a little weak, 1348 words

The blood pumping through Roman's veins, the air in his lungs, the microphone in his hand, the noise of the music and the crowd, the feeling of happiness- of greatness surrounding him. It was in these moments that Roman felt truly alive.

It was the show high and boy was it fun; the world would slow it's spinning, Roman- his bandmates and friends playing behind him- would sing, the crowd would cheer. It was one of the best feelings Roman had ever felt. (He says one of the best because he got a free pink lemonade in the middle of summer once and it was closely tied for one of the best feelings ever.) This great feeling stayed until Roman would get home that night. Even once the audience left he would still feel the burst of happiness in his chest.

The Disasters were spread around the stage, packing up their instruments. Well, Remus and Janus were packing up. Roman didn't have anything to do so he was scrolling through his phone. Virgil was sitting on the edge of the stage, playing around with his sticks, talking to someone from the crowd. Normally Roman wouldn’t pay much attention to them, but he didn't have anything interesting on his phone and his gaze kept drifting towards Virgil.

The guy Virgil was talking to looked around their age; he seemed nice enough, maybe he was being a little too nice for Roman's liking, but that didn't matter, he was just some guy. Some guy that was talking to Virgil, a completely normal conversation. Virgil had conversations all the time. …Did Virgil usually smirk at a stranger's remarks, though? Did he normally let someone try (and fail) to spin his drumsticks, would they laugh afterwards? Roman's after show happiness suddenly disappeared; he instantly realized his night wouldn't be as good as he thought. The amazing feeling was replaced with another that Roman wasn't entirely familiar with. All Roman knew was that it wasn't jealousy.

There was no way it was jealousy, It couldn't be jealousy, jealousy didn't feel like this, did it? No, the feeling in the pit of Roman's stomach wasn't jealousy, he wasn't jealous. There was absolutely no reason for him to be jealous over some hot looking dude talking to Virgil. Roman and Virgil were just friends anyway, he didn't have a reason to be jealous. it didn't matter that Roman's heart stopped when Virgil smiled at him. It didn't matter that Virgil would say one flirty joke and Roman would be distracted for the rest of practice. And it didn't matter that Virgil was one of the few people Roman trusted. None of that mattered, Roman was not jealous. Finding himself walking towards Virgil's spot on the edge of the stage wasn't because he was jealous, it was because he was bored and cared for Virgil's safety talking to random people. Yeah, that sounded about right.

"Well you seem really funny, Virgil, right?"

Virgil stopped spinning his sticks. "Yeah, and your name is…"

"Andy, short for Anderson, it's a dumb name right?" They both let out a short laugh, Andy's laugh was really nice and smooth, way better than Roman's dorky one. What? That didn't matter, there was no need to compare himself to whoever this Andy dude was.

Roman ignored his mess of thoughts and placed himself near Virgil. "Hey, Virgil! Who's your friend?" Ignoring how stiffly Roman spoke it almost seemed like he was saying it nicely. Of course Roman was saying it nicely, why wouldn't he be saying it nicely?

"Oh uh, we're not friends yet," and the guy dragged his hand through his hair and winked at Virgil. He actually winked. He looked towards Roman. "Anyways I'm Andy, me and my friend Spike are going to get some food, wondering if Virgil here would like to join us?"

And boy, did Roman have a lot he wanted to say, it might've warranted him a disappointed lecture from Janus. So he turned off his internal monologue of this bitch really thinks he can take Virgil, my best friend out to an 8pm dinner, that's our thing sometimes we even share pancakes- and looked over to Virgil. He must know that the late dinners are tradition and that one cannot break from traditions especially ones with your best friends.

"Come on, it'll be fun." Andy lowered his voice, "Maybe after we can drive somewhere, there's a place I know that's really pretty around this time."

Roman scowled and opened his mouth, hoping to say something that wouldn't sound overly protective and jealous. "He-"

"Sorry we have some band stuff to talk about tonight. But uh," Virgil threw up some awkward finger guns and stood up, quickly trying to get away. "I'll see you around though. Have a good night, Andy." They started to walk away.

"Ok, if you're sure, I wish I got your number, but I'll stick with this," Virgil turned around to see Andy badly twirling one of his sticks. "See ya around Virgey," and with another stupid wink, he was gone.

They both stood frozen on the stage, the feeling in Roman's stomach grew as the silence stretched out. "Did he just make a pun? And call me Virgey?" He looked over to Roman with a bewildered face. "He used a pun to take my stick, called me Virgey, and left. Now I need new sticks," Virgil looked down at his lone drumstick. "This is why I don't like new people talking to me. And being stuck somewhere alone with a stranger? Not my thing." Virgil turned to face Roman, hands loosely playing with his stick. "Sorry for cutting you off there but you were already being overly jealous and extra and I didn't want that to get worse."

"Hey, I'm not overly extra, I don't know what you're talking about," Roman looked down and pouted.

"Oh so you're admitting you're jealous?" Virgil raised an eyebrow with an innocent look.

"I'm not that either, Virgey," Roman ignored his growing blush, took Virgil's last drumstick and lightly hit him on the arm, making Virgil frown in response.

"Oh really?" Virgil took back his stick and hesitated before gently placing it under Roman's chin, tilting his head up so their eyes met. "You're a horrible liar, you don't keep eye contact and can't think of excuses, it's very suspicious. Anyways, you interrupted my lovely conversation with Andy, sure seems like you're jealous, Roman."

Wow… Roman was going to faint. Virgil was looking at him with a teasing glint in his eyes as a stupidly cute laugh fell from his lips. Roman couldn't even respond let alone breathe, who gave Virgil a right to be this- this-

Roman's chin fell. "We should go, I think Jan and Remus are already in the van."

"Uh, yeah," Roman said, slightly dazed. "This is your last call to go with your stranger over there and get into his sketchy looking truck. You sure you don't want that?"

Virgil snorted, "I'll stick with your jealous self. At least I know you won't kill me in a back alley." He started to walk away. "Come on, you know Janus will leave for ihop without us."

Roman followed him out. "I blame you if he leaves us, you piss him off too much."

"Says the one who got into an hour long argument with him about cornflakes." Roman scoffed in response.

The after show high had returned, along with memories of thousands of similar interactions with Virgil. (God, why was Virgil such a flirt? Roman would combust one of these days.) Unlike his earlier predictions, it was a very nice night after all. Roman was so thankful to have the feeling of giddiness back in his veins and his band of friends surrounding him.

(He was also thankful for the ihop waiter that brought him extra whipped cream that Virgil proceeded to eat and get all over him. There was now a very cute picture of Virgil in Roman's syrup covered phone that Roman would not stop looking at all night.)

I tried to do it justice, thanks for letting me write this and for sending in a prompt. Send me a prompt (and characters and a ship, sorry if I change it) and I’ll write something (probably short and definitely sanders sides) out of it eventually. Know that it will probably take me forever but I’m trying to write more

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #virgil sanders #roman sanders #prinxiety #romantic prinxiety #janus sanders mention #remus sanders mention #ts virgil #ts roman #I know dialouge is not my jam and it probably sounds choppy but idk how to fix it #botb au #hopefully this is good enough lexi #pen throws away a pen

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star-spangledstud · 4 years ago

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MIND GAMES - TWO

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Steve suggests dinner with the team. You find out you hate lying.

Warnings: angst, mentions of violence, anxiety

Note: Wanna be tagged in future chapters? Shoot me a message :)

SERIES MASTERLIST.

PREVIOUS CHAPTER.

A hail of half-empty wine glasses, trail mix and playing cards fly around the room when the coffee table they were stood on is flipped upside down. Your back hits the carpet with a dull thud, followed soon after by the back of your head. You wince loudly, hand reaching immediately for the base of your skull to relieve the throbbing pain that will no doubt leave you with a menacing headache for days to come.

The men in black, whose faces are nothing but a swirl of flesh tones in your peripheral, grab you by each ankle while you try to recover from your fall. They shout in a foreign language as glass shatters somewhere in one of the other rooms. Then, the sound of open gunfire and the scent of smoke and gunpowder pervade the air. You’re screaming, kicking your feet and flailing your arms wildly while they drag you along the floor, but the sound of your voice is drowned out by the shouting and the guns.

Glass and trailmix accumulate in your hair when they drag you across the room, and small pieces cut the back of your arms and legs. You’re crying, you can tell because your cheeks are warm and wet, and the tears flowing from your eyes mix with the blood of your dead family as they run down the length of your face.

The good thing is you know you’re having a bad dream, but the problem is that you’ve seen this scene unfold so many times that you’re not sure whether the memory of what happened is real or not.

You’ve seen the scene play out well over one hundred times in your sleep. Red liquid flies through the air in slow motion, your assailants shove their weapons in your face, you try to run away but feel nailed to the ground. You’ve experienced it so many times, and have attempted to change what happens in so many instances. Still, whatever you do, the ending is always the same.

The faces of the men responsible for the murder of your family are blurry, not because you hit your head so hard you can’t see straight, but because you don’t remember what they look like. Their features are warped beyond recognition, and no matter how hard you try to focus on the words spilling from their mouths, you can’t identify any of what they’re saying. It almost sounds like you’re underwater.

In the dream, you try to remember where you are, but your immediate surroundings change every time. Sometimes the coffee table is glass, sometimes it’s wood. The wallpaper shows a different pattern each time you look at it, and the dead bodies scattered all around the room have the same undefined features as your assailants. The only thing that remains the same is the feeling of absolute hopelessness and terror as they drag you away to an unmarked aeroplane that takes you somewhere in Eastern Europe.

Poland, maybe. You can’t remember, even though you came to spend the next seven years of your life there.

Nearly every one of these dreams is the same. It’s just you, watching scenes of your life unfold through a thick curtain of smoke that hides the most distinct, essential details. A large, gaping black hole has been punched through the part of your brain responsible for the production of memories. No matter how hard you try to fill in the blank spaces, it proves to be absolutely impossible.

Whatever HYDRA did to erase your memories, it worked.

It’s hard to think straight when you wake up in the middle of the night, images of the dream you just had still playing before your eyes. You hoped that getting further away from the people that created those dreadful memories would allow the pictures to go away. Yet, as you sit up straight in bed, chest heaving up and down in rapid motions, you know they followed you even here, like a thundercloud continuously looming over you.

As your first week in the compound comes to a close, you find yourself slowly getting settled into your new home. With Steve practically following you around every chance he gets, the two of you take the time exploring the entire building from top to bottom. He shows you the library, the garage, the gym and the lab, and promises to take you to the theatre the next time the team hosts a movie night.

You don’t tell him you haven’t seen a single movie in years, but the words are on the tip of your tongue while he rattles on about 21st century flicks he was forced to watch and ended up really loving.

When the two of you walk along the corridors of the compound, it’s mostly him who talks while you do the listening. You don’t mind it. It gives you time to think. While he speaks, you find yourself trying to dissect the inside of his mind. Still, no matter how hard you listen, all that comes up is silence. It’s odd not to be distracted by a second voice in your head. You’re not used to the simplicity of not having to focus on what’s coming from the other person’s mouth instead of what’s coming from their thoughts.

Each day that passes, Steve introduces you to a new member of the team. The first person you come across is Sam Wilson, who you find running on the treadmill two days after your arrival. He immediately takes a liking to you, and you end up chatting for nearly an hour straight. His thoughts are almost deafening, but his sense of humour makes up for his internal volume.

By the time Saturday rolls around, you find yourself able to chat comfortably with everyone you’ve met so far. Even Tony Stark, who appears at first to be quite wary of your presence despite giving you a place to stay, engages in conversation with you over a cup of black coffee. It’s relatively easy to befriend people when you can see straight through them, especially when they aren’t aware of your abilities.

Still, it’s odd how easily all of them have accepted you into their little bubble.

“Are you okay?”

Unease blooms in the pit of your stomach when you realize you’ve been quiet for nearly fifteen minutes, and your palms instantly begin to sweat.

“Yeah,” you quickly conjure up a smile, “just thinking.”

“About what? If you don’t mind me asking,” Steve asks softly.

“I don’t know,” you tell him truthfully, “I feel like this is all very weird.”

Sam raises a brow, “What do you mean?”

“You guys don’t even really know me,” you remind him, “and you’re giving me shelter. I’m just having trouble wrapping my head around all of this.”

“We’ve read your file,” Steve bites his lower lip, “letting you in was a collective decision, made by all of us.”

Sam nods in agreement, arms crossed tight over his chest.

Wondering what exactly is written in this so-called file, you chuckle dryly, “no offence guys, but I think that file might be missing a few important details.”

Steve blushes, “a lot of it was blacked out. Look, maybe we should all come together tonight, have dinner or something. You can tell us more about yourself if you want.”

“Yeah,” Sam exclaims, “good idea, cap.”

Your heart picks up, pushing your pulse while you slowly nod your head, “sure.”

“Great,” Steve steps towards his own room and places his palm on the fingerprint scanner, “we’ll let everybody know.”

Sam turns around and heads for his own room. You quickly disappear into the safety of your bedroom and slam the door shut a little too hard in the process.

“Crap,” you mutter to yourself, “fuck!”

You are not looking forward to this.

“What do you mean, you’ve never heard of Asgard?!”

Thor’s voice booms over the sound of clinking cutlery and laughter. You slowly lift your shoulders before taking a large sip of water, allowing the cold beverage to relieve the tension in the back of your throat.

It’s hard to keep all the buzzing internal monologues in the back of your mind, and it takes a moment for you to center yourself before you can answer Thor’s burning question.

“I’m sorry,” you say quickly, “I just never had a chance to read up on Norse mythology. Please forgive me. I’m sure it’s a beautiful place.”

It is beautiful, Thor pouts, I miss it.

“I’m sure you miss it very much,” you add quickly, to which he smiles sadly.

“Don’t listen to him,” Tony smirks, “he has a big ego and a tiny brain.”

You nearly choke on your water when he winks in your direction. You roll your shoulders to rid yourself of the tension building in your muscles and prepare yourself for the direction the conversation is headed next.

“So, Y/N,” Tony continues, “how do you know Fury?”

Of course you knew he was going to ask this. He’s been thinking about it for the last fifteen minutes. Still, heat rises to your cheeks when you place your glass down, and you push a few stray strands of hair from your face and tuck them behind your ear. Your heart is pounding now, but in a room full of enhanced people, including some of the world’s best spies, you know better than to allow yourself to freak out.

Steve, who’s seated right next to you, shifts in his seat. The action, albeit hardly noticeable, startles you anyway, and your eyes fly in his direction out of reflex. You think he looks nice, dressed in a cream colored sweater with his hair swooped to one side, and in a fit of insanity, you’re tempted to compliment him and ignore Tony all together.

“I don’t actually,” you say slowly, “My mom did, before she passed away. They knew each other before SHIELD was even a thing, when they were still young.”

“So how’d you get his number?” Clint questions.

“My mom gave it to me be before she died, told me to call it if I ever needed help.”

“What’d you need help for?” he continues.

“Clint, that’s enough-” Steve says before you can answer.

“No, it’s okay,” you gently touch his arm, “my family got caught up with the wrong people a long time ago. Since the death of my mother tensions have only gotten worse. Fury offered me a place to stay while I wait for things to settle down.”

“What kind of people?” Natasha asks while she lays her fork down.

“I think Fury can tell you more about that than I can,” you take a bite of your potatoes, “my mom did her best to shelter me.”

Your gaze flies back and forth between Natasha and Steve, and you begin to pray that she out of everyone at this table believes your story. You’re hyper aware of every move you make, and the tension in the air is almost too much for you to bear.

The crease between Steve’s brows and his hunched shoulders make you more uncomfortable. You read the room to make sure they believe you, before picking up your glass and taking another sip of water. Slowly, the conversation dies down, and you’re left with shallow breathing and red cheeks by the time Tony and Sam begin a discussion about a video game they were playing last night.

“Are you okay?”

Steve’s voice is soft in your ear. The unmistakable hint of concern is evident in its tone when it breaks through your thoughts, and you quickly nod as to not alarm him any further.

When you walk back to your room later that evening, you can’t ignore the painful twist in your stomach. Your hands are tightened into fists by the time you enter your dorm, and the need to swallow away the lump in your throat is nearly overbearing. You could never tell them you used to work for HYDRA, not in a million years. They would cast you out immediately, send your ass to the curb or lock you away in a federal prison for the rest of your life before they’d let you get away with it.

You didn’t think lying to people you hardly know could hurt this much.

NEXT CHAPTER.

Taglist:

@foxyjwls007 @littlegasps @hurricane-abigail @idk123906

#Steve Rogers #marvel masterlist #steve rogers fic #steve rogers x oc #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x reader #captain america #captain america fic #captain america imagine #captain america imagines #cap #Marvel writing #marvel fic #marvel #chris evans imagine #chris evans x reader #chris evans #jammywrites

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gaysofzaun · 5 years ago

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So @dinahdarling and @witchertrashbag made a post about Jaskier and Vesemir and there was another post about Jaskier in Kaer Morhen being an absolute slut for Witcher’s, and Vesemir’s casting was announced which either inspired it or just fanned the flames and I started to bullshit in the tags of one of my posts and found out there was a tag limit…

which turned into me this half head canon half story mess about Geralt bringing Jaskier to Kaer Morhen after he finds Ciri but before they confess any feelings…

this is an incoherent mess and not at all what i normally write but I couldn’t get the idea of it out of my head and I’m writing another serious geraskier fic so i need it out and here we are, we’re dying like men in this Chili’s tonight

....

Jaskier flirts with Vesemir as soon as he sets eyes on the older Witcher, he gets that cheeky smile like a cat that’s spotted a dish of cream. Vesemir, the old bastard, just chuckles, good natured. The old Witcher finds the bard absolutely charming and to the shock of everyone in Kaer Morhen, Vesemir flirts right back.

It sets a precedent for their relationship. Jaskier flirts, lays it on real thick, and Vesemir gives it right back. He likes to listen to Jaskier sing older songs, historical ballads and such and Jaskier loves to hear Vesemir’s stories.

“He’s much more eloquent than you are darling.” Jaskier tells him after the first week, transcribing his notes on sheets of spare parchment he’d filched from the library, already more comfortable in a castle full of witchers than he has any business being. “Oh, don’t look at me like that, he is! When I ask him to elaborate he does so in more that’s two syllables!”

He listens with rapt attention and Vesemir enjoys the feeling of those bright blue eyes.

Makes him feel young again he says, while Lambert pukes exaggeratedly over his shoulder.

Jaskier and Eskel fuck after the first month.

Geralt‘s out for morning meditation with Ciri and Vesemir and on his way down to the courtyard he sees jaskier slip out Eskel‘s door looking sleep warmed and ruffled, love bites all along his neck and chest and thighs.

Eskel’s a biter and Jaskier writes a drinking song about it.

and Geralt feels… funny about it, he can’t concentrate enough to slip into a meditative state, he’s jittery. Ciri asks him if he’s ok, he doesn’t know

he has to excuse himself when Eskel finally joins them looking so satisfied and loose and smirking into the middle distance and Geralt’s chest floods with … something vicious. It happens so suddenly he shocks himself out of it and doesn’t really know what happened

When it happens again, they’re all getting drunk over a big roast hog that geralt and eskel hunted in the valley to mark the changing of the seasons (minus Ciri, but Eskel and Lambert let her have sips of their ale when they think Geralt isn't looking) when Jaskier and Lambert disappear for a bit

Geralt looks up from his conversation with Vesemir and they‘re gone and he just stops and goes a little cold in his gut, then there they are

Lambert looks extremely satisfied, eyes lidded, unhurried, and jaskier’s looking very smug indeed and then and then the little shit looks fondly irritated when lambert fucking whispers something in his ear.

It’s too low for Geralt to hear, but it must be funny because Jaskier just smacks him playfully and Lambert laughs and Geralt wants to break everything. Then Ciri is asking him if he’s ok and Jaskier looks over at him and there’s concern in those blue eyes.

Geralt is not ok

it all comes to a head when Lambert says some dumb shit in the training yard. It’s harmlessly cocky. Just Lambert being Lambert.

Jaskier is fucking lounging on the ruins of the crumbling wall above the yard, long lines warming in the sun and loose shirts with plunging necklines to reveal the beginnings of his chest hair.

It’s distracting. Geralt tries not to look at him too hard.

He’s plucking through a new song, trying different lines and tunes over and over in different ways. The familiar sound is pleasant, it helps him focus on his movements as he demonstrates his footwork for Ciri as he spars with the two witchers and Lambert says something, too low for Ciri to hear, but Geralt can hear him just fine, about shutting the bard up for a little bit , something about using that pretty mouth for other things

and eskel, fucking eskel, makes that low appreciative ’mhmm’ noise and geralt goes fucking feral, suddenly it’s not training, that ugly feeling is back, the one that makes him want to break things and he’s got a sword in his hand, adrenaline high. He nearly slices lambert open before Vesemir‘s grabbing him and shoving him and shouting at him to take a fucking walk

meanwhile ciri is just standing there with the dummy and her wooden sword, eyes wide, grip slack. Jaskier‘s playing has stopped, the bard is looking at him with his blue eyes wide with shock and concern, Lambert’s yelling, asking him what his problem is and Eskel is just staring at him, with that knowing look, and it’s too much.

He storms off. Jaskier, inevitably, follows and Geralt ,inevitably, says some terrible things,

but unlike with the dragon and Yen, there isn’t a monologue about how much he hates Jaskier. Geralt is very aware that he very much doesn’t hate the bard, but there are feelings clawing at his chest and lodged in his throat that he doesn’t know what to do with. Doesn’t know who they’re directed at or why, just that it settles at the sound of Jaskier’s voice and he’s a little more focused

Jaskier however is a man on a mission and he intends to get to the bottom of all this emotional constipation and get the brute to express his feelings. He pokes and prods and pulls at Geralt until the poor Witcher is a stammering and confused ball of frustration and anger and poorly phrased feelings.

“Are you angry?”

“Yes! …No… I don’t know.”

“Well you’re clearly worked up about something, you nearly tore Lambert’s head off. So what is it?”

At the mention of Lambert that blind, directionless Something flares again, Geralt sneers, “You worried I bruised your toys?”

“My toys?”

“Don’t worry, little bird, Witcher’s heal quickly. He’ll be back in working order for you by tonight.”

“Working order? Geralt, what are you talking about?”

There’s some implied slut shaming (Jaskier: Excuse me, I do NOT fuck every man and woman I see! Geralt: Not for lack of trying! Jaskier: SOO?!WHY DO YOU CARE WHERE I STICK MY DICK? Geralt: CAUSE IT ALWAYS ENDS UP WITH ME HAVING TO CLEAN UP YOUR MESS!), Geralt expresses an acute frustration with the cut of Jaskier’s shirt collars, and implied regret of ever bringing Jaskier to Kaer Morhen,

“Well then why did you bring me here in the first place if you hate me and my slutty slutty shirts that damn much!?”

“I don’t hate you Jaskier, I brought you because I-“

And the truth hits him a split second before he can stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth. Geralt nearly chokes on his spit he stops talking so fast. His face goes red and,,,

Oh no

no that wont do at all.

Without a word he turns on his heel and flees,

He spends the rest of the day out in the valley with Roach trying to get himself under control.

When he comes back it’s to Vesemir standing arms cross in front of the entrance to the keep. He warns him, the whole of Kaer Morhen, and the Rock trolls that live in the caves below, heard his argument with the bard. They all agree, Geralt is being, as Lambert put it, ‘a big warty Cyclops dick’ and he needs to ’unclench and get his colossal bag of issues under control before he fucking kills one of us’. Also Lambert‘s words.

Geralt doesn’t say anything. Vesemir just sighs “You better prepare one hell of an apology, Wolf.” and leads him inside.

Everyone is settling in for dinner. It was Lambert’s turn to cook so the entire keep smells like garlic and spices (every Witcher has a hobby, something to occupy them in between monster hunts. Geralt likes card games, Vesemir likes to collect rare coins, Eskel likes to knit, and Lambert likes to cook).

They all look up when he comes in. Eskel is quiet, he has that knowing look in his eye. Lambert glares, “Welcome back, sour puss, your little tantrum ruin your appetite?”

Geralt has his customary ‘eat my ass Lambert’ on the tip of his tongue, but he pauses, looks at Ciri who looks at him reproachfully from Jaskier’s other side. Jaskier looks up at him with those blue eyes and Geralt feels something settle in his gut.

He knows he’ll be forgiven, but he cannot take that for granted. Vesemir is right. He better give the bard one hell of an apology. And then never fucking do that shit again.

He looks back at Lambert.

“Smells good.” and he takes the empty seat on Jaskier’s left.

It’s as close to an apology that Geralt and Lambert will ever get between them, and the other Witcher wont admit it, but the compliments on his food make him feel all tingly inside.

Later, when Jaskier, Ciri, and Vesemir are all asleep, the boys break out the Mahakaman Spirit and drink it straight from the bottle. It goes about as well as you’d expect.

“You know.” It’s not a question.

Eskel shrugs and takes another drink, “Didn’t before today. Don’t think you did either. I’ll admit I had my suspicions, you guys act like an old married couple, but he seemed pretty convinced you didn’t have feelings for him. If I’d known before I wouldn’t have. I’m sorry.”

Lambert snorts, he’s starting to slur his words. “I not. Get your shit together Geralt, cause if you don’t fuck him I will… again.”

Eskel nods with more enthusiasm than is really necessary considering the circumstances and Geralt doesn’t slam his head down on the table but it’s a near thing. Instead he just sighs and pours himself another drink.

Geralt get’s his shit together. Not that night,, but eventually.

That night, bolstered by a few more bottles and Eskel and Lambert’s encouragement, Geralt makes it all the way to Jaskier’s door before loosing his nerve and realizing that maybe stumbling drunk and dumb into the bard’s bed chambers in the middle of the night isn’t the best way to start an apology.

So he just goes to bed.

He asks Ciri the next day, or more Ciri volunteers her opinion. They’re in the library, pouring over books pulled for them by Vesemir (the old Witcher took one look at Geralt and the others battling their hang overs at the kitchen table and declared today an exercise in theory), detailing the different subspecies of Drowners when she brings it up.

“So, have you apologized to Jaskier yet?” She catches him by surprise in the middle of an explanation about the effectiveness of the Axii and Igni signs when fighting Drowners. He pauses.

“Not yet. He always sleeps past breakfast.”

“Are you going to?”

“Yes.”

“When?”

“I don’t know... Why are you so interested?”

“I don’t like it when you two fight. It doesn’t happen a lot,, but when it does Jaskier only sings sad songs and it makes everyone else sad.” A pause, “Plus, I have nothing better to do, nothing interesting ever happens around here.”

Geralt laughs at that, “Witcher training that boring to you?”

She gives the comically large book in front of her a pointed look ,”Yes.”

After a few more questions and answers and rapid fire quizzes on the differences between mucknixers and drowned dead, Ciri speaks up again,

“Take him on a picnic, bards love picnics.”

She says it with the kind of finality that only children can muster that Geralt can only nod and they start planning.

Geralt apologizes before dinner, pulls Jaskier aside and asks for his forgiveness. “You already had it Geralt, you knew that.” And he takes Jaskier out to finish dinner atop one of the high towers in the keep with a bottle of erveluce under his arm. He and Ciri had cut their studying short and spent the afternoon dodging Vesemir to set up the picnic before hand. In retrospect it was a very good exercise in stealth and evasion.

There are candles and an old tapestry they found draped across the stones. It’s disgustingly romantic. Jaskier calls him on it. Geralt is embarrassed, but he stammers out his apology and his confession without too much interruption.

“I’m sorry I called your shirt slutty… I don’t think it’s slutty… it’s a nice shirt.”

“Thank you , Geralt. I appreciate how hard that must have been for-”

“And I don’t hate you… I brought you to Kaer Morhen because…. Because… you were the first person I thought of when… I wanted you here… with me… I.. love you, Jaskier. Been shit at showing it but I do, have for a long time, and I… don’t… want you … sleeping with anyone else anymore. Just… just me.”

And then Jaskier jumps his bones. The end.

Lambert is only a little jealous.

#witcher #geraskier #geralt/jaskier #jaskier/eskel #jaskier/lambert #jaskier/vesemir #the witcher #give that bitch a picnic #bitches love picnics

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lastwagontrainhopper · 3 years ago

Text

A little help goes a long way

I managed to finish this fic just in time before the end of pride, woohoo!

Summary:

"Riza sighed and put her pastry down on the table. She looked him straight in the eye.

“I thought we had agreed, Colonel,” she said slowly, “on the fact that we do not have the same taste in women.” "

Roy is determined to find someone worthy of his Lieutenant.

(aka even when Riza and Roy are not together, they're still the otp)

Words: 2997

Tags: Royai ,Sort of?, Banter, Fluff and Humor, with just the tiniest speck of angst, Friendship, Riza is gay, Roy is an ally, They Gossip

read on aot

"Other than that, I spend most of my time helping out at my father's metalworking company. Do you know Gordon Industry? "

A few seconds went by before Riza realized she had been asked a question.

She took a long sip of wine to hide her surprise and promptly turned her attention to the young man in the brown suit who stood beside her. Casually leaning against the counter of the bar, he held a glass of whiskey in his left hand, a cigarette on the other.

"No, I’m not familiar," Riza finally replied with a contrite smile. "But I have to admit that, um, metalworking isn’t really a passion of mine."

The young man’s eyebrow shot up in genuine surprise. “Really, you’ve never heard of us?”

Riza had been upfront, but obviously not enough: the boy launched into a detailed description of the business’ operations, while she leaned further into the counter as she attempted to drink her boredom away.

Around them, the air was buzzing with conversations. The bar area was dramatically overcrowded: to reach the dancefloor in the next room, one had to elbow its way through the crowd - Riza had almost dropped her drink twice already from being pushed around. A tape recorder in the opposite corner was screaming out a blaring jazz tune, and a thick cloud of cigarette smoke was already beginning to form on the ceiling.

The Labor’s Day party was certainly not the fanciest celebration of the year, but it was nevertheless one of Riza's favorites. On this day, she was truly off-duty: there was no information to gather or higher-ups to compliment, and no reports to make at the end of the night. Besides, it was a rare opportunity for the military to mix with the civilians of Central, which led to some interesting encounters.

Well, most of the time.

Riza nodded idly as the young man continued his monologue. She had exhausted her repertoire of polite ways to end a conversation: this man was either incredibly tenacious or splendidly oblivious. He had even followed her to the bar when, on the pretense of getting a drink, she had tried to sneak away! For the umpteenth time, Riza’s thoughts drifted to the gun that was strapped on her right tight – sadly not a serious solution. She sighed and rested her chin against her left hand, her elbow on the table.

"Lieutenant! "

The interjection snapped her out of her reverie immediately. She raised her head and looked over her shoulder to see the Colonel - who else - who was just emerging from the crowd.

Riza hadn't seen him since the start of the night; he liked to keep busy on this type of occasion. But he didn’t seem in the mood to party at the moment: his expression was tense and he didn't even have a drink in his hands. As the Colonel reached the bar, he placed a hand on the counter between Riza and the young man, turning his back toward him as if he hadn't noticed his presence.

"Lieutenant, we just heard back from Havoc," he told her with a tone as serious as his face. "Target's on the move; we need to go now."

It did not take Riza long to understand. Without skipping a beat, she put her drink down, grabbed her purse and let her face fall back to its usual, serious appearance.

"Got it, sir."

Roy turned around and began to walk away. She went to follow him until a hand grasped her shoulder.

"Wait!" It was the young man - of course - looking dumbfounded, as if he hadn't followed what had just happened. "Can I at least get your number?"

This time, Riza didn't bother to fake a smile. "Maybe some other time."

With that, she twisted out of his grasp and ran after the Colonel who had already disappeared into the crowd.

She caught up with him as he exited the bar and entered the larger dance room. Riza took a few deep breaths; although the guests were just as numerous, the air here didn’t feel nearly as oppressive. The Colonel kept his rapid pace until they had crossed the sea of guests dancing in the middle of the room, swirling in all directions like raging waves.

When he slowed down and finally turned toward her, Roy wasn’t even trying to hide his self-satisfied smile.

"And you're welcome," he said with a half-mocking bow, stretching out the first word.

Riza took a moment to adjust the sleeves of her dress who had slipped off her shoulders – the garment wasn’t really made for this kind of wild chase.

"You know, people are going to become suspicious if you keep doing this," she replied as they started to walk again at a much more relaxed pace. "Besides, how do you know you didn't interrupt a perfectly lovely conversation?"

Roy threw her a knowing look. "Lieutenant, don't insult me. I could sense your annoyance from across the building." They were now entering the dining room, where guests could sit on small rounds tables to enjoy the buffet - not very fancy but quite filling – that laid on the counter along the wall. He smirked, putting his hands in his pockets. "That polite face of yours wasn't fooling anyone.”

"It was certainly fooling him."

"Men see what they want to see," Roy said whimsically. He glanced behind them, then pulled Riza by the arm. "Wait, let's sit. I think the guy might be looking for you."

They swiftly sat down on the first empty table they could see. Thanks to the people standing in small groups around them, their presence was hidden from most of the room.

Riza tried to look around, but couldn’t the young man's brown suit. She went to sip her drink and realized she had left it at the bar.

She sighed. “Guess I’ll need to lay low for a while. But thanks for the help, Colonel,” she added with a rare touch of honestly.

“Always my pleasure,” he nodded slightly. “Give me just a minute.”

Roy stood up and walked toward the back of the room. A few moments later, he returned with a plate filled with some of the few ragtag dishes that had survived from the buffet, and placed it down between them.

Riza suppressed a small smile. "You don't need to keep me company, you know."

Roy shrugged, mouth already full of shrimps. “I could use a break from the networking. Plus, being seen chatting with a beautiful blonde can’t hurt my image.”

“Except everyone knows that blonde is your subordinate,” Riza answered flatly, leaving the other problem unsaid. She reached out to grab a chocolate éclair. “This isn’t even a military event, and you’re still thinking about work?”

“Military event or not, many influent figures of Central are gathered tonight. Can’t miss that opportunity.” Roy licked the butter off his fingers, a gesture that contrasted with the classy black suit he was wearing. “But while we are talking….”, he turned his attention back to her, “there is actually something I needed to tell you. I’ve received intel on a certain individual, here in the capital, which seems rather intriguing.”

Riza fell back into soldier mode in the blink of an eye, straightening up on her chair. “What is this about?”

Roy raised a hand in front of him. “Relax. It’s not about the military.”

Riza frowned. Intel about someone from Central, without it being related to their work? What else could this be about?

It took a few long seconds for the realization to hit her. Oh.

“Sir….” she began warningly, hoping she was wrong.

Roy had a smirk on his face now, like a kid trying not to laugh at its own prank. “Now that I think of it, you in particular might find this person – her - interesting.”

Riza sighed and put her pastry down on the table. She looked him straight in the eye.

“I thought we had agreed, Colonel,” she said slowly, “on the fact that we do not have the same taste in women.”

He raised his hands defensively. “I know, Lieutenant, I know. Which is why this isn’t someone that I would date.”

Riza frowned, suspicious. “How come?”

“A bit too austere for my taste,” Roy answered offhandedly. She gave him a piercing look, and he caved in with a sheepish smile. “But mostly because she wouldn’t want to date me. You, on the other hand…”

Riza ignored his comically wiggling eyebrows and went back to eating her eclair.

“Do you even know if I’m her type?” If women were her type, was what this meant.

“My trusted source tells me so.”

He grabbed an olive and popped it into his mouth before leaning forward, his forearms resting on the table. There was a playful glint in his eyes.

“She’s in her late twenties, work as an investigative journalist – so smart, without a doubt, and with a touch of boldness. According to what I’ve read of her, she seems to have her heart in the right place too - you should see what she writes about Bradley’s administration. I didn’t even think it was legal to print this kind of thing!”

Riza hummed noncommittally. So far, so good.

“And I haven’t even got to the best part,” Roy continued, raising his index for emphasis. “My trusted source tells me she has not one, but two dogs.”

Riza raised an eyebrow. “Two? Sounds like a lot to handle,” she replied, keeping her tone neutral.

He smirked. “But you’re not the type to back down from a challenge, are you, Lieutenant?”

Riza sighed. She had forgotten how persistent Roy could be when he had good intentions. “God, you sound like your sisters right now.” A doubt crossed her mind, and she narrowed her eyes at him. “Did your sisters had something to do with this?”

Roy leaned back in his chair. “She goes to the same hairdresser as Bianca,” he admitted shamelessly. “They’re friends.”

“You are impossible,” Riza said with a half-smile, shaking her head. “I’ll think about it.” Roy nodded, apparently satisfied, while she grabbed the last piece of bread from the plate. “But what about you?”

“What about me?”

“I haven’t seen you with Madeline for a while.”

“Oh, well…” Roy looked away, his expression growing more somber. “Things were starting to get too serious between us. She wanted to move in with me.”

Riza felt her teasing smile fade off. “So, you broke it off?”

“No,” he replied a bit defensively, “we had a conversation about it like mature adults. I told her how I really feel about…all of that. And she decided to end it.”

It wasn’t the first time she had heard that story. Riza felt a pang of sympathy for him. “I’m sorry about that, Colonel.”

He shrugged it off, trying to appear casual. “It’s alright. I had a feeling it would end this way.”

Around them, the crowd had begun to dissipate, as guests wandered outside to enjoy the cool night air. Riza spotted two unopened beers lying on a table nearby that was now empty and got up to get them.

"You know," she said as she sat back down, placing one of the bottles in front of Roy, "there are plenty of women who would be happy with a casual relationship, no string attached."

“Trust me, Lieutenant, I am aware,” he replied with a smirk. “And I’ve had my share of that in the past. But I’m almost thirty, now; I’m not a young man anymore.” He popped the beer cap off on the edge of the table – his favorite party trick – and took a swig. “It’s only natural to seek something a bit more meaningful, someone with which I can drop the act.”

Riza raised an eyebrow as she searched through her purse for keys. “So, you want a serious emotional relationship with none of the practical aspect? Seems to me like you want to have the cake and eat it too.” She finally founded them and opened her own beer with a flick of the wrist.

Roy frowned. “Well, you seem to manage to get exactly that. You were with Rose for what, 2 years? Without any talk of moving, marriage, kids or whatnot.”

Riza gave him a flat look. “Yes, because if we had done anything like that and someone found out, she would have lost her teaching position – and I would have risked getting kicked out of the military. That’s hardly a pleasant reason.”

“Of course,” he nodded, “you’re right. But in our case, you have to agree that it is convenient. “

Riza hummed reluctantly. It was, in a way: she never had had to reveal the real reason why she didn’t want to - or couldn’t - commit too firmly to a relationship. She was grateful for that; even among her most trusted partners, there weren't many who would have understood.

“But all is not lost!” Roy said after a moment, pulling Riza out of her thoughts. He set his bottle on the table with determination. “I have decided to try a new approach to dating, one that I think is promising.”

Riza looked at him, tilting her head with curiosity.

“I’m going incognito.”

She took a sip of beer. “Interesting. Any alias?”

He crossed his arms, musing. “Think I’ll stick to Roy. Just Roy, a simple guy looking for someone to spend the weekends with, without getting too engaged in each other lives. I’m sure some women are looking for that.”

“It will be a bit harder without your whole “Flame Alchemist” thing going on, though,” Riza notes, amused.

“I know,” he smirked, “but that’s the fun of it. You see, with my reputation, I can easily sway the most exquisite women in Central – except one, that is.“ Riza rolled her eyes at his sideways glance. “But the kind of women that are interested in me rarely is the one I’d like to end up with. In fact,” he chuckled somberly, “if someone falls for my “lazy, arrogant Hero of Ishval” persona, either they’re in it only for the prestige or they’re a terrible judge of character.”

Riza nodded slowly. “An unfortunate consequence of your strategy.” There was a short silence. Then she propped her chin in the palm of her hand, elbow on the table, and let out a teasing smile. “At any rate, I am looking forward to seeing how this will turn out. If only to know if you’re half as good as a seducer as you’ve always claimed to be.”

That made Roy laugh, throwing his head back. He looked at her with a fond expression, the type he only had after a few drinks. “You know, I’ll never get over how unfortunate it is that I’m not your type.”

She smirked. “I think it makes everything a lot simpler, actually.”

“Maybe,” he conceded. “But the best things in life rarely are the simple ones.”

Riza chuckled, and the two fell into a comfortable silence as they worked on finishing their beers. They were lukewarm, and not of the highest quality, but that didn’t matter - this was a night for familiarity and comfort, not luxury.

Suddenly, something in the room caught Roy's attention.

"Oh - I think I just saw her!" He craned his neck, looking at something behind Riza.

"Her?"

"The journalist. Come on!" Roy was already on his feet, motioning for her to get up.

Riza frowned as she pushed her chair back. "You mean she's here?"

Roy turned back toward her. "Do you think I would have told you all this if she wasn't? You underestimate my organizational skills, Lieutenant." She snorted, but let the comment slide. "By the way - have you seen what was on the news about Major Kingsman's trial?"

Riza tried to remember what she had read in the newspaper the previous Sunday. "I've skimmed through it, yes..."

"That'll do." He maneuvered between the tables, heading toward a woman who had just stopped by the buffet - or what was left of it. "Ms. Delacroix! We were just talking about you! I would like you to meet Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye - she's the subordinate I was telling you about."

The woman turned in their direction and smiled as she recognized the Colonel. Her outfit was simple but elegant, a linen shirt with a low-cut neckline and flowy black pants. Her brown hair fell down her back in a long braid, and her face was covered in freckles.

Riza felt like her jaw had just dropped. God. Did Roy even know how much she loved freckles?

The woman turned her attention to Riza as she came up beside them. "Yes, I remember! It's a pleasure to meet you, Lieutenant."

Riza suppressed her sudden urge to rearrange her hair- which must have looked atrocious, after hours in those stuffy rooms - and stepped forward to shake her hand.

"The pleasure is mine, Ms. Delacroix," she replied warmly. For once, it really was.

"So," the woman began, looking at Riza with interest, "Colonel Mustang told me you had some questions about my recent article in The Central Times?

Riza swore internally. She made a mental note to take it up with him later. "That's right," she said with a small smile. "I'm afraid I'm not an expert in the subject, but your article certainly caught my curiosity."

Before Ms. Delacroix could respond, Roy glanced over his shoulder. "I'm afraid I heard someone call my name," he chimed in, not looking the least bit sorry. "I'll leave you ladies to it."

He bid them both goodbyes, bowing his head at Ms.Delacroix, and promptly walked away.

Over the journalist’s shoulder, Riza saw him look back after a few steps. He caught her gaze and gave her a satisfied grin, mouthing something.

"You're welcome."

Riza bit down a witty retort and instead turned her attention back to Ms.Delacroix. The Colonel could wait; she had more important matters in front of her.

#royai #fma #fanfic #fanfiction #riza hawkeye #roy mustang #pride

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