#real talk if you sent me an ask and i havent answered im sorry :(

[churomo]

out of curiosity, how many asks are in your ask box right now?

the world probably thinks its so funny right now

[heartscrypt]

For the fandom questions, how about O, T, and X? Thank you!

O: Choose a song at random, what ship does it remind you of?

this song will always be ineffable husbands to me i cant explain why. i love good omens waiting for that s2 baby!!!!!

T: What are your favorite male/male ships or female/female ships?

well. glances at my entire account. you guys have seen how ill jamiazu makes me so there's one. i dont really have anything fr twst besides them. for ace attorney there is NO way im not gonna say wrightworth they are actually married at this point. faraskye is a close second they're so silly. for cfv lunam solos they're literally the girlfriends ever. ill bring up kaichi later but kairen is really funny as exes and renkyou is just funny in general

X: 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms.

auuu this is so!!! um um uerrm. going with my overall favorites OF ALL TIME!!!

1) kaichi (toshiki kai x aichi sendou, cardfight vanguard). this one is at the top because theyre so fucking canon im gonna throw up THEY LITERALLY ARE EVERYTHING YOU COULD EVER WANT IN A TROPE.

2) klapollo (klavier gavin x apollo justice, ace attorney) i really like them an abnormal amount i love dynamics where its like (guy who is trying so hard to be normal) x (guy who is absolutely not normal)

3) ranpoe (ranpo edogawa x edgar allan poe, bungou stray dogs) this one was the og jamie ship if u followed me on my old account. i posted that shit REGULARLY . on the DAILY. it was worse on twitter

[messrsrobyn]

Ok nobody I’ve asked seems to give me a direct answer so I figured I’d just voice all my concerns with you? You don’t have to answer everything 😭😭

When it comes to fandom friends how do you move from just being moots to being friend friends? I saw a video you made about it when somebody had asked you a similar question but I’m really struggling with getting them to feel like friends and not just random accounts in my phone.

I’ve seen videos people have made and you guys are sharing jokes in the comments. I saw video of 3 girls that said “Us when anyone hates on mesrsrobyn” and you said like “Fan behaviour” which obviously shows that you’re actually their friend and you’re just teasing them.

Also how do you find people who are ok with you not responding all the time (😭😭😭) I’m just genuinely not active very much on any forms of social media. I was in a marauders gc and I was really happy thinking I was gonna make fandom friends but because I wasn’t active all the time they had a bunch of inside jokes I didn’t get and I kinda felt like an outsider.

Most of the people I see you interacting with online seem really cool and fun, so I’m just wondering where to find people like that. Just genuinely from posting?

I’m sure I’ve worded all this so strangely but honestly I’m sad because I’ve been in this fandom for 3 years in November and I have made no real lasting friendships. I feel like you yapping so much LOL

IK THE VIDEO 😭 my besties yup !!

this is long so i'm putting the lil dashy line thingy

i have v limited advice actually bc i don't think i've initiated many of my friendships in fandom?? despite how little i stfu, i'm a shyyy person. i get scared to text first.

my BIGGEST bit of advice is take. it. off. the. app.

i try to get discords mainly (bc i use it most) but once you take it off of tiktok or wherever you met it feels so much less like mutuals. like yes, we met in fandom but now we are discussing our plans for the day and getting to know each other as Robyn not Messrsrobyn.

i made most of my friends from posting !! i made my account as a whole to meet people and (ive been flagging a bit recently actually but) i always try to reply to EVERYONEEE. so most of my friends were just people that commented that i replied to, their name kept popping up in my notifs? boom. friends. one of them said they loved crimson rivers so next time i found an edit i sent it to them.

ALSO !! i'm so bad at replying.

servers im more active in i think, but just... dms? not very good at all. anyone that doesn't respect that or gets mad? 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ i dont want them as a friend.

like it's frustrating i know! i hate the amount of lil red bubbles i have on every single app but it doesn't mean i value my friends any less and they all know that <3 we don't always have the time or capacity to reply and that's okie.

i tend to get it out the way immediately and test the waters. just a lil "btw i'm really sorry for my reply times! i'm not the best at it but feel free to double text me as much as you want" and always make sure that i follow up on everything that's been said whilst i wasn't replying.

im rambling a bit i fear but the right friends won't get mad at it, or make you feel less important bc of it. it might just take some time to find them but You Will.

i feel like i havent actually given much advice?? i'm genuinely so so so lucky to have found the friends that i have but i did nothing. i think i said in a few of my tiktoks rightttt at the beginning that my dms were open for friends and then i think? hope? that i've kept that energy going of like someone that anyone can message and i'll get back to them (at some point 😭 my tiktok dms are a mess but thats an issue for future robyn) so i've been able to just sit back and naturally find them.

i live by the motto of "the worst they can do is not reply" every time i send a comment or dm to a new person

we're all just losers reading fanfiction !! we all want lil friends to talk to about it so interaction and reaching out gives us that BUT it's the taking it off of the app that takes it from mutuals to friends imo.

this is UNNECESSARILY LONG omg. i never know how to answer these ones but i hope it helps a lil? <3 social interaction is NOT my finest point. potentially my worst i fear.

[loiswasadevil]

Hey Lois, please don't answer this. Just read it.

I think Chris, Meg, Peter and Stewie are fakers. They don't act like the characters. They all showed up at once. They only ever interact with you. They get upset over not getting asks. It just very much seems like an attention thing.

Is there anyone you can trust or go to speak with about this? I just worry for you. You're so nice.

I'm sorry but I want to debunk this because I get a lot of asks about this. If you mean forgottenstew, I have known him for over a year and Though he has quite honestly tried to be my cat alyst I can accept that so is stewie in the show, He can have a lot of bottled up anger for Lois so i forgave him, And Stewie tells me he is from a different canon than I so he isn't even "my stewie" He's just another family guy blogger or my friend. Honestly, I don't even know which meg you mean, But i only consider one meg my meg, @fraulein-adoline and She is not a faker She is also my friend So i don't care about any other Meg. If Chris is a faker than that would be one despicable human being Because i have walked chris off the ledge of suicide. He talks to me about Family Guy episodes and kin And I havent known him long But he is a real Family Guy Fan and he even has a reference in his bio that i had to look up. I would be devastated if Chris was a faker, And Stewie is from his own canon So i do not expect him to act like my Stewie, I am still searching for Stewie. Family Guy fans get a lot of hate just for being neurodivergent or just eccentric in general, And a lot of them are afraid to come out as Family Guy fans And that's why i'm afraid to say this but i'm going to be honest that these Peters on tumblr are Fakers. I have searched my Heart Time and time again And I know these peters are fakers. They want nothing to do with me but to ridicule me or be my catalyst. They want to mock the death of my boyfriend and give me false hope But i will find my Peter because we are cosmically bound. I want to find my Family and i want proof with these accusations. I am going to speak to Francine about it in shifting She is my rock. You dont know that i'm so nice because you don't know me, And I dont even know how i would know if i knew you because you sent this in anonymous so im gonna assume you just want to unlock my heart. I am wary of Family Guy kin obviously because i am a famous blogger so I get reactions from people who want to be my catalyst and hurt me But you also have to realize that you're dealing with the biggest Family Guy fan in this Universe/ All universi possibly and I am not naive, I know a Family Guy Kin when i see one.

[gontagokuhara]

hii ive been a pointy objects reader for almost a year and it is So Good and ive always been wondering what Ibuki is the god of.. i dont think its been mentioned in the fic so far unless i just havent noticed somehow

Sayaka is the god of music so Ibuki probably wouldnt Also be the god of music im guessing.. my first thought when i started thinking about it was god of energy or something like that but i feel like akane or nekomaru would suit that a Bit more maybe?? i feel like she would either be the god of rebellion (but that Kinda overlaps with mondo) or maybe god of individuality because they would both suit her character well i think.. if this counts as spoilers do not feel obliged to answer lmaoao ive just been curious for a while..

i realise how long this ask is now Sorry i just love this fic so much and i am very curious💗💗 i cant wait to read the next chapter i am so exited‼️

HELLO LOVELY ANON!!!!!!! you sent this right as i’m in the Middle of writing the next chapter and u have no idea how excited and motivated these little surprises make me!!!! so thank you so much asks like this always make my day

to answer ur question!!! you correctly clocked sayaka as the goddess of music and you are actually rather close with your guess, but ibuki mioda is the goddess of festivities! i have her down in my outline doc as ahem [clears throat] “the goddess of throwing fucking RAGERS amongst the gods and mortals alike.” as one might expect she’s very friendly with the majority of the gods and puts on events to get as many gods together as she can all together :) she’s also all things considered a VERY good mom (compared to a lot of the gods)

and just for funsies, because they aren’t featured in the fic and you brought them up: nekomaru is the god of teamwork, and akane is the goddess of persistence. they’re besties (and also go to all of ibuki’s parties) <3

no worries EVER about long asks they are my absolute favorite i LOVE talking about this fic so much !!! unless there’s endgame spoilers i will go on about ANYTHING send me your questions and comments always and forever <3 and next friday mark your calendars, 5 year anniversary update will be real ‼️‼️

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

HELP I WANTED TO ASK YOU REAL GENTLE REAL SWEET WHY YOU DIDNT JUST CHECK MY NAME FROM THE COMMENTS ON YOUR FIC BUT THEN I REALISED THAT I NEVER REALLY MENTIONED ANYTHING IN THOSE COMMENTS ABOUT BEING THE WRITER OF THE OTHER FICS THAT WOULD HELP YOU JOIN THE DOTS EHRJEJFJDUDS IM SO SORRY??? I LEGIT THOUGHT THAT YOU'D HAVE KNOWN FROM THEREEEE

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE NEXT POINT- I KEPT YOU IN THE DARK FOR A YEAR? I KEPT YOU WAITING THAT LONG? I CHECKED AND THE FIRST ASK I SENT YOU WAS ANSWERED LAST YEAR ON JULY 14 😭😭😭😭😭 IT'S BEEN MORE THAN A FULL YEAR SUENRKSKDKDKDSKA

Third: omg us in july is truly a miracle because turns out that you posted your fic in july 2016

FOURTH!? SEVEN YEARS???? IT'S BEEN ONE FULL YEAR SINCE I FIRSTFOUND THIS BLOG OF YOURS SO THAT MAKES IT SEVEN YEARS THAT WE'VE "KNOWN" EACH OTHER??? IM GOING TO SCREAM BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT???

Fifth- that friend from whose fic you found me is one of my besties and I've known her for 8 years minus ONE DAY 🥺🥺🥺 tomorrow (based on timezones) is our anniversary and AHHHHHH GOD THATS MY LONGEST FRIENDSHIP THAT I STILL KEEP UP WITH. to think that I've known YOU for seven... omg?

Sixth! You detective! You are so cool

Seven !! Dw about finding my old tumblr LOOOOLLL I did mean to delete it but am just lazy and avoidant,,, but it's okay really! Not an invasion of privacy considering /my/ behaviour with your blogs JDAJDJSJDJSKSKDKA your "invasion" of my privacy is warranted LMAO let's catch each other up on our misadventures 🥳 jkjk

Eight- although yes I dont use that account anymore and have had four more since then 💀💀💀💀 I planned to contact you through the fourth, you see 🤡 (god this clown emoji looks terrifying on my phone I hate it suddenly, it's NIGHTTIME i dont want clown nightmares even if I'm not scared of them 😭 hard to be scared of something you've never seen before except in a mirror shdhfjdndnjsksa)

NINE - YOU WERE SUBSCRIBED TO ME?!?!!?!??!! SHAJSJSJDJSJSJSA HELPPPPPP?? OHMYGOD? YOURE ONE OF THOSE 66 PEOPLE... WAHHHHHH IM SO EMOTIONAL

Ten- "HAHA DW YOU DONT HAVE TO TALK TO ME IF YOU DONT WANT TO HAHA" these haha's killed my soul a little OF COURSE I want to talk to you I'm just SHIT at having energy for conversations lately (for like 3 years now LMFAOOOO) BUT THATS NO EXCUSE !!!!!!!!!!!

omg i didn't know you hurt your foot 😭 is that why you're bedridden?? SENDING YOU GOOD HEALING VIBES SJDJDJSJS I hurt my feet too because i got overenthusiastic with exercise 💀💀 and then just skipped a day like no MY STREAK! But they're fine rn I guess, maybe the rest was good ehrjejdjsjsa

omg I'm a proper carat 🥺🥺🥺 am I a proper carat if I barely know their songs because I'm fond of them but I probably don't know more than ten songs DHEJEHSHDNSKS??? Help. I must be an improper carat (can you tell I have dumb jokes)

THIRTEEN! I realised after seven entire years that your name basically translates to cheese on toast. That was a revelation. I hope you've brien well. Yes. I actually just did that.

Fourteen- caratumblr abo verse.... I havent written smut for two years and I havent even been writing but this was such a tempting offer JRJERJSJDJ LMAOOOO I'll support you in your endeavours 😌🥳🤩🥰

Fifteen - also same I LOVE SENDING ASKS DISKSKSKS

Ok this was a long ask hehe whoops <3 enjoy your day! I hope you have a good one!!! I think our timezones are far apart so I must zzz now ❤ I think I covered everything I wanted to say rn!!

--- spn anon (oh look! This can double as point number seventeen 🤩)

YOU KNOW IM KINDA ANNOYED I DIDNT FIGURE THIS PUT A YEAR AGO LIKE…. What the fuck was a doing all those other times i tried it wasn’t THAT difficult to find… this is ridiculous i’m so dumb sigh

A FULL YEAR OH MY GOD…. THATS INSANE…. But SEVEN YEARS FOR US?! THAT WOULD BE MY LONGEST ONLINE RELATIONSHIP. I would never EVER imagine that any online relationship I would find would transcend fandoms ESPECIALLY NOT SO DRASTICALLY as going from supernatural to kpop and ao3 to tumblr… what a migration… seven YEARS… damn that means we only just missed our anniversary haha

HAHA SAM 🫵 SCARED OF CLOWNS although tbh… clowns are fucking terrifying… THERE WAS THIS SCARE IN NORTH CAROLINA WHERE THERE WERE CLOWNS IN THE WOODS FOR A WHILE BRO IM STILL SCARED OVER IT

I WAS SUBSCRIBED TO YOU!! OBVIOUSLY I REALLY LIKED YOUR WRITING CAUSE I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN ANYTHING BASED OFF ANYTHING EVER AGAIN

DONT BE STRESSED ABOUT MY HAHAS THEY ARENT LIKE haha… 🥲 THEYRE LIKE REALLY HAHA THATS SO FUNNY LIKE REALLY ENTHUSIASTIC HAHAS AND NO THATS A PERFECTLY FINE EXCUSE i just went through a phase where i didn’t want to talk to anyone so i GET IT

I think that if seventeen brings you any type of comfort you’re a carat, no matter if you listen to one song or all of them. You know their names, that’s MUCH more than i knew when i knew that amount of songs. So i think you qualify as one, even if you don’t go further into liking them or listening to their music

BUT STOP YOUR JOKES ARE SO FUNNY YOU ARE GENUINELY SO FUNNY

YES CAPTAINBRIEONTOAST IS LIKE THE MOST CLEVER THING I’VE EVER COME UP WITH LIKE IT’S DEVASTATING TO ME THAT I AM NOW SOMETHING ELSE… people on this blog don’t even know my roots… WHO I WAS BEFORE (that’s probably a good thing) I actually only started going by brie even offline when i gave myself the captainbrieontoast name for writing. I HAVE BRIEN WELL 🤣

Come on sam… dad’s on a hunting trip and hasn’t been home in a few days…. DUST OFF YOUR SMUT WRITING SKILLS I can’t do this without you 😫 (just kidding don’t feel pressured) what if i actually did do a caratumblr abo verse collab that would be crazy i don’t think i have the confidence or influence to start that alone

I HOPE YOU SLEEP WELL!!! I’LL TALK TO YOU LATER!! I just woke up (but it’s almost 4pm where i am and i should’ve woken up sooner)

[sortagaysortahigh]

no. 1 smut with argyle 🤭

1: “do you think of me when you touch yourself?”

Girl im so sorry but im just, dom reader for sure here. I just I'm sorry but it's necessary bc we all know argyles a simp, best friends to lovers YUH. This one is honestly more sweet, not a ton of smut but its cause i too am a simp and i havent written much for argyle so yk i gotta get the simp shit out first before i unleash the whore kraken

WARNINGS: mentions of male, hand job/blow job, eye contact, def dom!reader vibes, sub!argyle vibes (hes just down bad and a simp), wet dreams tee hee

Join the Sleepover

Tonight was no different from any other night that Argyle crashed at Y/n's. The two had been best friends since the fourth grade-they'd practically grown up together. But lately things have felt a little different-at least for Argyle-and by lately that meant the past six months when with the help of Jonathan he realized that he was actually really into Y/n.

Apparently it wasn't normal to talk about how sweet, pretty, and interesting your best friend is every single day, nor is it normal to constantly call the guys she dated "annoying douchebags that wear knockoffs" or "fake skater surfer boys".

So he knew the truth, he was into her, sure that changed things for him, when they smoked-regardless of where-his eyes would focus on her lips for long periods of time and anytime she touched him it was like a jolt of electricity sent through his entire figure. Not to mention the way he found himself checking her out-eyes glued to her curves anytime she asked him how she looked, and the most recent shameful development.

The dreams. He'd dream about being with her, about fucking into her as she laid below him, his hair brushing against one of her shoulders while she looked up at him with parted lips and hooded eyes. The way she'd moan and whimper his name as her nails scratched along his arms and back, or the way she'd look on top, biting her bottom lip the same way she did when she rolled, all the while she massaged her own tits, eyes held on his. The worst dreams though-were the ones where she was on her knees, staring up at him as her tongue trailed along his cock.

She always looked so pretty like that, mascara stained cheeks as she looked at him through her lashes.

The only thing that made tonight different was when Y/n woke up at two in the morning and went to grab some water, as she crawled back into her bed she heard it-the first low whimper from his sleeping figure, then it happened again, this one a little louder-more of a groan and she had no idea what to do-her eyes wide as she stared.

Then he moaned her name-it wasn't loud but it was coherent and clear-he was having a wet dream about her and it turned her on, her body engulfed in a white heat as she stared, her lips parted now. She opted to wake him up, gently shaking his shoulder "Argyle, argyle get up" her harsh whispers were the first thing he heard as he stirred away-her face a few inches from his.

"Wha-what happened?" she raised a brow "you tell me, sounds like your dream was interesting" she was teasing him, her sultry tone had his eyes widening and brows raising-a look of shock and embarrassment on his face "y/n-hey man it's not what it sounds like okay-i just-you-we-shit okay you caught me" she giggled and shushed him.

"I have a question do you think of me when you touch yourself?” he didn't know how to answer that, blinking several times in shock, still processing that this was real and not just his dream "yeah-obviously" then he placed a hand on her cheek, gently caressing it before sliding along her throat then her shoulder, her brows knit together "what're you doing?" she couldn't help her giggle. "making sure you're real"

"I'm definitely real" he nodded his head "yeah-your skins really soft" she rolled her eyes, a smile on her face as she glanced at the evident tent under her sheets, his thin shorts doing nothing to restrain him. "can i help you with that?" he nodded his head "please-oh shit" he groaned as her hand slid down his bare chest, then below the sheets and the waistband of his shorts.

His head lulled back as she palmed him, biting his bottom lip while he shut his eyes "look at me baby" her dominance was evident, he immediately opened his eyes, looking at her face, holding eye contact as she grasped the base of his thick cock, then she started slowly pumping her hand along his shaft-thumb running over the tip over and over again, small whimpers and groans leaving his lips.

Then she moved from her spot, sliding the sheets down-pulling him out of his shorts, repositioning herself between his thighs, laying flat on her stomach, her legs kicked up in the air as she stared at him. The moonlight shining through her blinds reflecting against her figure-and he swore he had to be dreaming.

She ran her tongue along the underside of his cock, then she swirled it around his tip, gliding against the slit-gathering every drop of precum and his mind was officially fuzzy while he watched her. Then she took him into her mouth, hollowing her cheeks, opting to take him further and further-until he was hitting the back of her throat.

He bit into his fist to stop his loud moans from coming out, his hooded eyes focused on her while she stared up at him-a few tears leaving her eyes as she took him down her throat-gagging around him. She let him go, then brought him back down her throat again-keeping the same rhythm up until she felt his cock twitching, then she took him out of her mouth, opting to wrap her hand around him-jerking him off while she stared at him.

Then she took him into her mouth again, sucking on the tip, his groans getting harder to hold back "y/n-baby-I'm gonna cum and fuck I don't know if you want me to in your mouth-like i don't wanna be rude or anything dude" she pulled him out of her mouth, biting her bottom lip and raising a brow "i want it down my throat"

He rubbed a hand over his face "oh god man-you really can't talk to me like that when you're this close to my dick" she giggled, rolling her eyes playfully before taking him back down her throat-he only lasted a few seconds after that.

Then once she swallowed and finished running her tongue along his cock-cleaning him up, she tucked him back into his shorts and laid back down, this time opting to rest her head against his chest.

"You wanna go on a date or somethin?" she giggled "yeah-i'd like that"

[hyunjinspark]

ahh i havent sent anything in a while but i just wanted to let you know that im very much present on your blog and reading every single ask you answer !! i also read the last star lost update and in all honesty among all the aus and books ive read in my life (and ive read a lot) this is my absolute favourite!!

i’ll try to comment on the chapter a bit more detailed once my semester is over and im on a break but !! as always the way you write hyunjin and yn is amazing 🥺 actually while im at it lemme comment on the chapter as a whole lmao

despite the whole situation and general (hyunjin and hana, hyunjin and yn, felix and yn etc etc) i just wanted to say that the whole friendship dynamic is really cute and fun to read 🥺 i love it a lot (despite the whole hana situation) also hyunjin and yn are just sooo cute together and i love their convos a lot but i feel so bad for felix 😭 (also him interrupting every time theres a ‘moment’ 👀 pretty sure hes doing that for his own sake hehe) guess we’ll have to see how that plays out… but also excited for more yn and felix interaction especially on his bday party but also the whole chocolate making thing…

also yeonjun 😳 you mentioned he’d appear in the au but i didnt expect it so soon (and the convo him hyune and yn had was very insightful to say the least; poor yeonjun, hes such a nice guy 🥺) omg im really excited for when yn and hana actually get to have a real talk about the whole situation especially after her and hyunjin called things off for now (which im not too excited about even though i wanted it to happen, but i cant help but feel like this is just the calm before the storm (and its not like hyune and yn will just suddenly be able to date each other 😭))

hmm what else… if i could i would comment on every single dialogue but i have to get back to studying 😭 but also yn sleeping on hyune in the train reminded me of only fools 😭 and all the tiny things like the streusel bread shjdjdjd youre such a great writer 🥺 and just the whole scene at the end was just adorable i love star lost so much 🥺 but as previously mentioned, i cant help but think of this as the calm before the storm but that depends on your plans for the future chapters 😵‍💫

on another note! im so excited for the book you have coming out soon because you’re genuinely my favourite writer ever 😭 ive never felt so enthralled by anyones writing like this before so im looking forward to it a lot 🥺 please take care of yourself (i remember seeing you say that you were sick a few days ago) and don’t remember to take breaks eat well and stay hydrated!! hope you have a great weekend and following week as well 🫶

ah also! im curious about you as a person as well so i wanted to know if you have any hobbies? i think your work has something to do with digital arts (sorry if i got that wrong) but hows that like? (if its not too personal) and are there any tv shows movies youve watched recently? (sorry i have this habit of wanting to know a lot about people haha..you can just ignore questions if they make you uncomfy) also last but not least, i love the star lost playlist you made 🥺 i always listen to it while reading the chapters 🫶

-🦥

hi cutie ! im sorry for the delay in getting around to this ask about part 7. first of all, whaaat ?? of all the books youve read ? you will make me cry 😭 i hope your semester is going well <33

im glad you love their friendship dynamic, i love writing all the little relationships and connections to each other. it was my favorite thing to do in only fools. hyunjin and yns convos are so so so cute indeed 😭 they make me smile crazily.

you’re absolutely right about it being the calm before the storm haha ! things will not be that easy for hyun and yn even after they ended with hana. i guess you would have seen that in part 8 itself.

this whole message is so sweet and so full of love. thank you so much, don’t worry im not sick anymore and im taking care of myself, you’re so kind.

the fact that you’re curious about me makes me giggle haha😭 i am really really into pop culture, half of my personality is that haha. i do work with digital arts and designing packaging and brands 🫶🏻 it’s not too personal, don’t worry ! it’s really good actually, i love the arts and anything to do with the creative process so ive pretty much always wanted to do this! and for recent movies and shows, umm i have to think about that cause i watch a lot of random stuff when i get the time haha. but i can tell you my favorite movies ! it would probably be: arrival, interstellar, scott pilgrim vs the world, black swan…warm bodies, everyday, the day after tomorrow, and i can’t think of more but there are tons lmao 🎬 im so glad you like my playlist, im surprised people heard it 😭😭🥺🥺

[dysfunctionalnerd]

I was wondering ... how would Randall react to Evil! Layton? or Monocle! Layton(by the way your drawings are amazing!)

ahhh thank u so much!! that means so much to me ;u; oh my GOSH MONACLE LAYTON!!! i havent thought about him organically in too long sksksks

well so ok if i had to make layton evil at any point in time, the way id do it would be after unwound future. it would be about 2 years after he found randall, but in this scenario he never worked up the courage to call randall or go back and visit after he left Monte D'or so abrubtly, which means losing that friendship was already weighing on his heart. so then after UF, losing claire and luke in the span of the same week... its too much for him. Crying in his room one night, he says "so this is it then? am i destined to always lose the people i love? i will simply never love again." and he snaps. he gets cold and distant, doesnt allow the kindness of others to reach him. all he wants now is vengance, and this man has been wronged by soooooo many people.

The only person still living with him is flora at this point. at first she lets things slide. things like seeing hersh withdraw into his study for too long, or drink too late into the night. but then she notices he stays in his room for days at a time, clearly working on something, but he gets so rude when asked about what. shes always met with answers like "its none of your concern" or "dont ask questions you're not prepared to hear the answer to", until one day she really puts her foot down. Demands to know whats going on. Shes so worried. But hershel screams at her to go away. an ugly, terrible yelling nobody deserves. and its so cold she just,, runs away crying. she cant think of anybody to reach out for help. she doesnt know anybody, she was never allowed to go out and make friends.

until she remembers the stories luke told her about the man they saved in Monte D'or, and she remembers how softly hershel would smile the precious few times he mentioned he name randall.

so she pulls up a phone book and looks up a Randall Ascot. Its not hard considering he owns an entire fucking town. shes crying and scared and alone, and when randall picks up the phone, he is of course concerned. hes never met this girl, but nobody should by crying this much, and then his heart breaks when he realizes its hershel who did this. He was always hurt by how hershel never said goodbye, and never called again to rekindle their friendship. at first he doesn't want to come over, but flora begs him.

"please, randall, you have to help. I know i hardly know you but... nobody else can reach him, i just know it".

so he grabs the nearest train. tells flora take take it easy at a bougie hotel for a night while he makes the trip over, pays for everything ofc. the two meet up. randall falls in love with this girl in .5 seconds (yknow in that "ive only met this girl for 10 minutes but if anything were to happen to her id kill everyone in this room and then myself" kind of way). They decide to just go to hershels flat and knock. he doesnt answer. they knock again. nothing. randall gets worried. he breaks down the door, shouts for hershel. Nobodys there. the place is empty. they enter hershels study to make sure, but what they find horrifies them. a GIANT charlie kelly style board with a bunch of pictures of different people, mostly people connected to bill hawks, and red lines connecting them stand before the two, and they both know in their gut its a hit list of some kind.

so they run to parliment or whatever building it is those goverment people all stay in, hoping its not too late, hope maybe their suspicions arent true. Theyre horrified when they reach the front steps and theres no guards or anything. sirens are blaring. they run down the halls. injured soldier's and police are telling them to turn back, its not worth it, this man is unstoppable.

"please dont let it be hershel, please dont let it be hershel."

flora stops when they reach the big door. she looks up at randall, crying. "im sorry... but i cant go in. i dont want to face him like this."

randall hugs her, reassures her. tells her its ok to wait by the entrance, that everything will be ok.

Flora rushes off, and randall takes a deep breath. He opens the door where bill hawks office is supposed to be. Randalls heart sinks. in the big chair is hershel, a sword covered in red, and tied to chains too close to the fire place is a beat up bill hawks.

hershel greets him coldly, like strangers.

"ah hello there. im sorry, but the prime minister cannot assist you today. please come back later."

"hershel, what are you doing??? that sword.... have you??"

"killed someone? no..." he hops off his chair and points his sword to bill hawks, far too close to the neck. "no not yet. but if youd like, you can join me for the first one."

Randall picks up a pipe or something close to him. "i cant let you do this hershel... i know youre better than this."

"ah, but you see, thats the thing." his blade lightly touches bills neck. "i could be, but then... whats the point?" then he scoffs, and pulls his sword away, pointing it towards randall in a battle stance. "never mind, you could never understand."

and he charges. AND THE EPIC SWORD FIGHT BETWEEN HERSHEL AND RANDALL THAT WE WERE ROBBED OF COMENCES! Randall, between parrys, is in total disbelief. "Hershel, stop it! i know how youre feeling, but this isnt the solution! youre tired, and scared, and unbelievably hurt. youre in so much pain... this isn't going to end that pain!"

clink, parry

"you couldnt possibly know what im feeling. ive lost everyone. but its no matter."

for a moment it looks like hershel is about to pin randall down, but he swoops away at the last minute.

"No, please hershel, you cant think like that!! youre not alone!! not anymore!! You didnt give up on the masked gentleman... let me return the favor!"

hershel gasps at this, and hesitates. its enough for randall to knock hershels sword out of his hands, and pin him to the ground. Hershel is afraid, his eyes are wide.

"r-randall, stop it!! leave me alone!"

"no!" randall throws the pipe he fought with aside. "not until you make things right!" he starts crying, his tears spill on hershels shirt. "not until i get my best friend back..."

hershel can't take it anymore. He screams, and starts crying uncontrollably. that ugly crying you reserve for your worst moments, and randall softens his grip on hersh, changes it so hes hugging his friend. And hershel just cries and cries and cries.

"i... i just dont want to live like this anymore..." he sobs.

"hershel.... oh hershel, im so, so sorry."

and they continue to cry. eventually randall asks what happened, how it got to this. hershel explains the events of the last few years. how luke left. how bill hawks sent men to beat him to an inch of his life 8 years ago, so really this is just him returning the favor. they talk it out.

"hershel... you owe flora an apology"

and hershel starts crying even more. "oh no, how could i do this to her?? im a monster..."

"nonsense! shes just worried about you, we all just want you to be ok. give her time, you two will be ok."

so slowly, randall convinces hershel to take his hand and walk out before some real irreverasble damage is done. they dont untie bill tho :) hershel comes face to face with flora at the entrance. starts stuttering some words, but jever gets around to saying anything bc flora hugs hershel so tightly, and cries into his chest. "professor i was so worried..."

"i.... im so sorry...."

and thats it!! the police dont do anything bc i dont believe in them, hawks eventually gets voted out. they all go home and randall decides to stay with hershel until he find a therapist. then decides to stay with him until he starts smiling again, then because i mean whos gonna help out with flora?? and then bc honestly hershel, this place is a mess! and then,,,,, well,,,,,, yknow,, 👀👀

[liberolove]

Testing the Waters (pt. 1)

Summary: youve finally graduated high school and now youre moving on to college. youve decided to go to sendai university. its summer and youve become curious about checking out the dating pool in miyagi, so you download a dating app. you figure you might as well have fun before delving too deep into your studies

Part: [part one] out of ???

Pairings: nishinoya x reader / kuroo x reader / oikawa x reader / kiyoko x reader

A/N: theres tons of ships here, just me living out my hoe phase lmao please dont judge me. let me know what yall think

Genre: fluff, smut, crack

Warnings: flirting, college shinanigans

even though you decided to stay in your hometown to further your studies, you moved out as soon as you could. your parents were smothering you and you were honestly tired of it. so, you got your own apartment and started to live on your own. everything was fine and easy so far but then you realized how lonely you felt. your friends had moved away to go to other universities, and you were never really good at relationships. the anxiety of not knowing what to do with yourself until classes started was consuming you. to deal with this, you figured you might as well download a dating app. 

“Gotta check out all the hot singles in my area, I guess,” you thought.

it had been a while since your last relationship but you were sure you were ready again. or maybe you could try to find something different. maybe some hookups could be enough to help you during this weird adjustment period. 

you downloaded the app and added whatever details were needed. 

Name: l/n, y/n

Looking for: chat, relationship, hookup, anything

Bio: 

it took you about ten minutes to finally decide on what you wanted to add to your bio. finally, you typed out:

Bio: just another single college student looking for genuine human connections. Interests include watching anime, reading nerdy shit, and getting to know you 

you were never too good at coming up with bios but this should be good enough for now. time to see what kind of fish you could catch..

not even a minute after uploading a picture of yourself, a new message showed up.

Nishinoya Yuu: hey, beautiful! (;

Y/n: oh hi! how are you?

N: doing better now that I’m talking to youuuu. how about your lovely self?

Y: wow someone is really straightforward. I’m doing pretty well rn thanks. what are you up to?

N: just been bored as fuck on here and then BOOM you showed up (:

Y: lol youre silly. so hows the whole dating scene look like on here? any good ones?

N: nah it sucks honestly. But now you’re here so its a million times better!

Y: oh shush lol. does this site really work? like have you actually met someone from here?

N: uhh i actually havent met anyone yet, but ive had some nice conversations so far! ive still got high hopes

Y: have you been on here for a long time?

N: i just downloaded it like two weeks ago? idk but yeah. im hoping that maybe youll be my first??

Y: your first what? haha be more specific

N: OH sorry!! i didnt mean it like that omg. i meant like my first person to meet off of this app lol

Y: i mean if youre not busy right now, we could meet up for a coffee date or something? (cliche right?)

N: ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? like... right now rIGHT NOW?

Y: yeah (: sorry for doing this so fast. you’re just really cute and im bored haha

N: nooooo its fine i swear im just a little shocked. and WOW you think IM CUTE? you should look in the mirror because your gorgeousss *heart eyes emoji*

Y: so its settled? lets meet today at around 1 pm at XXX cafe? 

N: yeah! thats not too far from here! i CANT WAIT

Y: same here (:

as soon as you sent that last message you hopped in the shower and started getting ready. you debated whether to put on makeup or not and then eventually decided to do it. you wore that one red dress that greatly accentuated your butt and your curves. you checked the clock and it was 30 MINUTES UNTIL 1 so you finished up by brushing your hair and adding on a spritz of peach scented perfume. “Hopefully this impresses him.”

the cafe you guys agreed to meet at was only a short walk away from your apartment. you were almost at the cafe when you noticed the time again and it was already 10 MINUTES PAST 1! you were so scared that he thought you stood him up but as you got closer, you noticed a cute boy sitting by himself outside. you stared at his backside for a little, unsure if this was your mystery boy. so you messaged him on the app

Y: heeeey are you the one sitting alone outside with a tan shirt and some ripped black jeans?

your phone lit up with the answer to your question: “yes”

as you looked up again, you noticed the stranger you were staring at had stood up and was looking right into your eyes. once you locked eyes, he grinned the biggest smile you’d ever seen and he chuckled. 

“Hi there!! L/n, right? Nice to meet ya, I’m Nishinoya Yuu. Wow, you’re even more beautiful in person!! Do you want anything from the cafe? I’m buying”

You were kind of shocked by his beautiful smile and his spiky hair. It took you a while to respond as you tried to take in the wonderful sight in front of you. He was simply breath taking. You could tell he was the athletic type by the way his shirt hung onto his broad, toned shoulders. 

“Ummm... L/n? Are you okay? Do you want any coffee or sweets from the cafe?”

“OH, oh my god, I’m so sorry! I got distracted..” you said as you looked away from him, getting redder by the second. you hadn’t even noticed his compliment or the way he kept eyeing you up and down and licking his lips. “Yeah, I’d love to get a coffee, if you don’t mind. Please..”

His eyes snapped back up to yours. “Awesome, I’ll go order inside. You can just sit your pretty little self here while I do that. Don’t run away! I’ll be right back!”

now that you had some time to reflect on what the heck just happened.. you breathed a sigh of relief. You couldn’t believe that he was real and so goddamn gorgeous. His little tuft of blonde hair at the front of his head was so cute and his smile.. goddamn. the way he looked at you.. and his friendly demeanor. it was all so much to take in. you didn’t really know how to react. as soon as you had relaxed, you tensed back up as he came back and sat down with you.

“Here’s your coffee hot and ready just for you, hun”

“Thank you so much Nishinoya” you blushed a bit as your mouth pronounced his name

“Hey, just call me Noya! Or Yuu...”

“On a first name basis already?”

“Only if you want to..”

you giggled as you noticed that he was getting bright pink too. “Okay, Yuu.”

as soon as you said his first name, his eyes lit up and that bright pink hue on his face soon turned into a passionate red

“Soooo..” you said as you tried to break up the silence.. “what do you do? do you go to school?”

“Yeah! I’m going to start going to Sendai University in the fall! I’m going to be playing on the volleyball team! How about you?”

“No way.. I’m gonna go there too! I guess I’ll be seeing you around probably. And wow! Volleyball huh? That’s hot.”

when you said that last part, Noya almost spat out his coffee. you laughed at the look on his face. he was blushing so much he couldn’t keep still. you were almost afraid he would just run away from you and never come back.

He just tried to regain his composure and laughed. “You really got me there oh my god i almost choked. But yeah I can’t wait to play again.”

The rest of the afternoon you guys talked about everything from anime to your favorite season, to your least favorite horror movie. The more you two bonded over common interests, the more he let his wild side out. He became more rambunctious and fiery and this did things to you, to say the least. you checked your phone to check the time and it was already 6:45 pm. You had no clue as to when the sun had started setting, but it didn’t matter because you hadn’t felt this warm fuzzy feeling in your heart in a while. it felt so nice. you didn’t want it to end. but then noya interrupted your thought by saying, 

“Hey, (y/n)..” you two were on a first name basis already and it was just the first date. “it’s getting pretty late and I have to go home and help out my family with some stuff. I hope you don’t mind. Sorry! But we can definitely go out again if you want. i know i sure do..”

“Yes, of course! I totally get it. But first can I get your number?” you look away as you say this because this was the first time you’ve ever asked a guy for their number. 

you two exchange phone numbers and hug goodbye. you let the hug linger for a little longer than you should and plant a quick soft peck on his cheek and say,

“I can’t wait to see you again, Yuu.”

He just smiles and replies, “Me too, Y/n. I’ll see you again soon, babe.”

You freeze up and don’t know what to say as he walks away. you think to yourself, “did he really just call me babe?”

[idjitlili]

Okay hear me out

Fili x modern!reader

Summary: imagine convincing fili to let you do his hair.

word count:3894 longest fic so far

a/n its my birthday tomorrow aka the 14th of july

You had been somehow transported into Tolkien's universe, at the time of hobbit, landing infront of Gandalf. The fall hurt your bottom, you had groaned and looked up to see Gandalf looking at you in shock. However he had decided you would accompany him to Bilbos house. You didn't have a choice you didn't know where you bloody were! Gandalf has seen pretty nice, he said he would help you, but didn't understand how on middle earth you had ended up in a different world.

At this point Gandalf had already been at  bilbos house and left a mark on the door, so it was quite dark when you both arrived. When you had reached your destination , dwarves , lots had stood infront of the door pushing against eachother to get inside. You stood staring at the dwarves as the door was pulled open harshly ;by an annoyed hobbit.

stumbing down on each other with grunts and groans of frustrations ,plus pain. They evently all got up slowly ,your patience was low not as low as the hobbit who muttered 'Gandalf' ,before rushing further into the hole. Bilbo had realised that Gandalf was up to something sighing in defeat as Bombur scoffed down his expensive cheese.You felt bad for the dude these dudes were trashing his den and eating his food, you didnt really like sharing your food ,so you could imagine the pain Bilbo felt. Bilbo didnt even glance at you next to Gandalf he was too busy preventing his hole collasping inwards.

You and Gandalf had walked into the hobbit hole ,swiftly once the dwarves had. The warm air hitting your chilly cheeks,the warm light making your eyes blur for a spilt second ,the burst of loud laughter, clanking of plates and such filled your ear drums. You were going to have a huge headache by the end of the night.

You had hid behind Gandalf ,like a child would behind their mothers when talking to strangers ,as he led you to the dinning room. You were nervous there was no doubt about that ,you didnt want to be refused by this horin you had heard about,but Gandalf told you not worry. Apparently Thorin wasnt even here yet,a muscular dwarf told Gandalf ,he had glanced at you suspiciously before going back to getting ale.

Gandalf had asked a brunette dwarf to find you a seat and some food  ,pulling you out from behind  him. The dwarf had sent you a wide smile, lifting your hand pressing a kiss to you knuckles,doing a bow sorta thing. "Kili,at your service." his gesture had made you blush,no one had ever done something like that before.

"uh, y/n at yours." you had spoke quietly to dwarf,who smiled again still gasping your hand tugging you to a seat next to a blond dwarf. After he let go of your hand, you had sat ,while the brunette dwarf sat down beside you, there wasnt a lot of  room so you were shoulder to both dwarves. The blond one had turnt to you eyeing you,which kili had shoved some bread and ale  infront of you. You were starving so you didnt  waste anytime eating it ,Kili had smirked looking towards his brother.

"y/n this my brother Fili,Fili this is y/n" you had looked up at Fili with a mouthful of bread,gulping it down quickly,sending him a smile. He was indeed very handsome like his brothr,he had smiled at you. "Nice to meet you" you had spoke quietly yet again. "you too." he had replied unsure of his words,he had taken in your clothing it was very strange to anything he had ever seen a human dress.

"so y/n, will you be accompanying us on our journey?" Kili had questioned you,making you break you gaze from Fili. "i-i dont know,Gandalf says i am ,but this Thorin dude sounds scary." even his name sent chills down your spin ,making you shake slightly,the brothers had broken out into loud laughter. You had looked towards them in confusion. "you are not worry ,uncle cannot refuse a wizard." Fili had spoke to you smiling.

"Yeah,plus we will protect you from him,wont we Fili?" Kili had thrown his arm around your shoulder,making you blush a little again. "Yeah,plus uncle will be too distracted with us causing trouble"  You had smiled up at fili,chugging down the ale down that you were given. Soon enough Thorin had arrived ,and Gandalf had explained your situation,arguing with Thorin that you were brought here for a reason,eventually Thorin gave in.

You signed a contract, while Kili questioned about your world on and on,he even asked you if you had a boyfriend which you hadnt even had one real relationship. The Durin brothers were pleased with you answer, Thorin didnt hate you,but wasnt keen on a young women joining this quest incase you got hurt. Plus he didnt want to have to worry for you , like he had already did for his nephews,at least you werent an elf...

By the morning you were on a pony,sharing with Fili becayse no one had planned on a 15th member until you fell infront of Gandalf. You hadnt rode a pony for many years only a couple of times as a child,even though you werent going fast your arms were still wrapped around Fili waist/chest. Kili had smirked at his brother,raising his eyebrows,Fili rolled his eyes mouthing 'jealous' and that was that,of course you didnt know about the interaction.

"If I poppedmy cherry,while riding this pony ,i swear." you had spoken quietly,the phrase confused the other dwarves and Bilbo.

"uh, miss y/n what does that mean?" Bilbo had asked ,he was generally curious,you had smiled at the hobbit.

"it means to break my hymen while riding on a pony ,so basically lose my virginity." Bilbo's mouth gap open slightly in shock,but he slowly nods. Bofur,Fili,kili,and some other dwarves had laughed at your worry.

"you'll be fine as long as you dont ride him to hard" Kili had smirked at you sending you a wink,you had scoffed. Fili had smirked at you rjecteing his brother,it gave him some hope that you would eventually like him, he was developing a small crush on you. You had sent a blush to hus face when you had choosen to ride with him.

Obliviously you hadnt packet for this trip, you were lucky enough to fall into this world ,when you had your toothbrush and toothpaste in hand when you slipped and fell into a portal thang. You were lucky enough for the dwarves to give you any unneeded blankets,so you didnt freeze at night,and fili and kili shared their water pouches with you. When it came to night the brothers would set up their bedrolls either side of you ,and if Fili saw you were cold in the night he would pass his furs over you.

But that was months ago,the war was over ,erebor was reclaimed,apparently the reason you were sent here was to save the Durins line which you did. Thorin liked you much more now ,he had now given you a room ,near his and his nephews chambers. You felt lonely,useless even now ,your task was done you had nothing left to achieve in this world. However Thorin coranation ball was soon,he had already sent you dress makers to make you a dress,as gift for you. He wouldnt let it down that you saved his family ,basically he is your bank,he buy you anything you want,not that you wanted to take any of his money.

You had a dark green dress made ,apparently the tailors said it was best suited for you, it was simple ,busted your boobs a bit,and was to the floor,simple as that. avelvet material,shoulders showing with arms,you didnt want to be cold to be honest. You laid on you bed above the covers ,with a towel wrapped around your torso and upper thighs,covering your parts. Head on your pillow,wet hair spread upon it too,staring the celling.

That was until three brief knocks hit your pine door,knock,knock,knock. You didnt know who to expect probably Bilbo. "come in" you replied with a monotone voice. The door creeked open,closing shortly after as footsteps could be heard approaching you. You turnt your head to see Fili, with a blush upon his face ,seeing you in just a towel, you smiled at him ,before turning you head back to the celling.

"im sorry,y/n , I'll come back later"he spoke quickly,looking at you waiting for a response.

"no,no ,no, stay," you replied hurredly ,getting up from your bed quickly trying not flash the prince, grabbing your tshirt throwing it over your head ,so it covered your. You trousers the same just going under the towel, then removing the towel,you didnt know if fili had watched you but he wouldnt have seen anything anyways.

"uh..so why did you come here?" you had questioned the prince ,turning to facing him, he had his back to the door,from giving you privacy getting dressed. "you can face me now fili im not naked." he chuckled nervously ,before turning swiftly around to you. "I just came to see how you were, I havent seen you for days." he sent you a gently smile,walking closer to you ,inspecting you,for signs of distress.

"Im totally cool,don't worry about me." you didnt want to upset Fili by telling him the truth,but you knew he knew you werent ,you had been in your room for three days straight. He had risen an eyebrow at you. "i just don't know why im still here ,I saved your family,now I feel like im useless to be here anymore." you had spoken quietly , eyes looking at the floor which your bare feet stood. You sit at the edge of your bed ,shoulders lower as the bed dips next to you Fili pulls you into a bear hug his strong arms around your shoulders pulling you into him.

"You are NOT useless ,in the passed few days ,do you know how much I missed you,kili has been driving me nuts. I needed you there so i could punch him and  you to say it never happened." you laugh quietly into Filis chest ,as your arms are wrapped around his waist tightly. "ill do it if you let me do one thing,please." you looked you from Fili's chest into his blue eyes. "depends what you wanna do?" he smirked at you,still holding you tightly. "Let me do your hair , like evan almighty." you smiled hopefully at the dwarf ,ignoring his joke,his eyes became wide ,he didnt think you knew about courting rituals.

"Y-you want to do my hair?" he was a little taken back ,you just nodded excitedly at the blond prince."okay,go ahead." he didnt want to call you out on it just incase you didnt know,plus he didnt want to face rejection. You jumped up out of his arms to run and grab a brush ,running back launching yourself on the bed ,making fili laugh at your excitement. You kneel behind the prince ,gently taking out his brides,you kept asking if you were allowed to do this he assured you that you could. After you had done that,you brushed out his blond locks ,before pulling it back into a low ponytail. You wish you could do that pony braid on his beard like in the movie but this will have to do. "hehe ,its done." Fili got up and went to the mirror on your dresser,smiling at you in the mirror as you watched. "i love it,thank you,but now its your turn."

Before you knew it he had picked you bridal style with ease ,placing you on a chair,grabbing a brush standing behind you. Bro it happened in 0.3 seconds ,before he started brushing through your h/c hair. Soon his thick dwarven fingers were lacing through your hair ,it was indeed soothing,ever now and then he would place in his beads at the ends of your hair. Once he had finished he had brought you to the same mirror,once you had looked,you realised he braided your hair exactly like he would.You had turnt around quickly,grabbing hisupper arms tightly,thanking him. "Oh my god fili,lets pranked kili!" he had smirked at you."how?"he was always up for playing tricks on his brother.

"Ill pretend to be you,i already got the hair even though its not exactly the same,i just need to borrow some clothes. And if he asks where you are ,ill be like im right here brother," fili had laughed at your plan argeeing to it.Thorin had gift you with many clothes and even makeup which is what you needed right now. You had drawn on a moustache,that fili had before he had led you to his room fetching you some clothes. Luckily kili nor anyone else had spotted you. You had taught how to do an a dance from evan almighty   if he was to be caught. You had changed quickly ,keeping your own trousers just changed your shirt while fili faced away. He had given you one of his tunics and his coat while he just wore a tunic,you left yuor clothes on his bed before the both of you fled out the room, you rushed a head while he sneaked behind.

Soon enough you had ran into kili,who eyed your attire confused,at first he thought you had slept with his brother. "Y/n w-what are you doing?" he questioned you,you smirked at him. "Brother what are talking about? y/n is eating potatoes in bed>" you gripped kilis shoulders ,in a botherly manner eyeing him. He had reached up your braids ,touching the beads. "why are you wearing fili's beads? are yo-" "YOUR IT!" you tapped his shoulder ,running away from him,he didnt question you further ,but chased after you ,but you were simply  to fast with your long human legs. You had made it to Thorins throne ,which he sat you jumped into his lap roughly,wrapping an arm around his neck

Before he spoke you had breathlessly taken that chance, "Uncle ,kili stole my last piece of bacon." he had chuckled at you, "now my sisters son ,you may have his dessert tonight." you had cheered,as you did Fili had ran into the room,Kili soon after slow coach.

"Fi;i what are you doing?!" kili shouted ,you smirked "no what areee ya doin'?" fili grinned as kili glared at you turning to his actual brother. Fili started doing the dance from evan almighty "uh,uh,uh" mving his hips with his arms in sync motion. You had jumped out of Thorins lap,to join Fili dancing. Before grabbing his hand ,running off into the gardens as it poured down with rain. The rain streamed down your face ,making the makeup do the same,okay so it wasnt really a prank it was just a little fun.

"Oh mister almighty,you do look very handsome."you spoke smirking at fili as the rain soaked you both.

"As do you ,but I think miss y/n is much more beautiful." he spoke to you making a blush rise on your face,you pressed a kiss upon his cheek. "oh my i just kissed myself." fili chuckled lightly ,you forced fili to give you a piggy back ride to his room,so you could both change and to wash your face , Leaving your clothes to dry however you both left you hair,making your way to dinner in which all the company were attending to you. As you walk in all eyes are on the pair of you,kili gestures for the two of you to sit next him ,exactly like when you both met,kili to your left fili to the right. The company kept galancing at you ,as you began to eat your potatoes and pork.

"y/n?" you had glanced up to see Bofur addressing you ,you nod at the hatted dwarf "did fili do that to you hair ,and you do that to his?" he questioned carefully as fili glared at him. "well.. yeah, i wanted to his hair as something different, but i couldnt because his beard wasnt long enough and yeah" you werent even sure what you were saying,because you knew they wouldnt understand if you said steve as even almight/noah.you shove a mouthful of mash into your mouth,you were hungry,your hair was still soaked.

"you are aware that touching a dwarves hair,is a a courting ritual,lassy?" Balin had questioned you making your face go red,choking on your mash,kili patted you back."shes even wearing his beads!" dori had interjected  "and lass wearing dwarves clothes suggests that you get it on-" Dwalin began only to be cut off by Thorin "thats enough! shes human ,and from another world how on bloody earth would she know any of our courting customs? shes wouldnt now leave it NOw." Thorin had defending you sensing you were embarrassed,sending you a smile, which you return lightly."Thorin,may i go finish my food alone,in my room?please."   It wasnt that you didnt like fili your crush grew huge over the months , its just you had felt like he had set you up for embarrassment by not telling you. Thorin had smiled at you nodding ,thats all it took for you to grab your plate and drink before rushing up to your room.

You couldnt eat your food now,you had shoved it a side before laying down like earlier ,staring intensely at the cream celling,it felt like it only minutes you had been laying there,but the sky was dark ,the month light shinning in through you window. However you didnt know right now kili was coaching fili how to express his feelings for you,to court you. Eventually they had came up with the idea for fili to ask you to walk with him in the gardens, but first he would have to apologise. Fili had basically became sonic sprinting to your room ,kili was currently hiding in a bush in the gardens. Fili he knocked hurriedly on your door, you had ignored his calls ,he had spoke "I'm coming in y/n." he had opened your door rushing to you,you had ignored him again ,pretty childish you know. "Im sorry ,y/n. I didn't mean to embarrass you,please let me explain." he had spoken sincerely,gripping your left hand. "go a head then." you replied still looking at the celling.

"walk with me." you had groaned,you werent mad with fili,you were just embarrassed about the confrontations,you had slipped your shoes back on ,fili held your hand walking you to the gardens in silence.

Bilbo had walked by kili,only to be pulled in the bush ,telling him to shut up ,and watch. There was a pond with breaks around it,fili had led you to sit on there with him,his rough thumb circled your palm whilst holding it gently. You looked into his ocean eyes whilst he stared back in your e/c ones. "y/n l/n I did not intend to embarrass you only to portray my feelings for you,because I am too much of a wimp to face heartbreak if your feelings werent returned.Also didnt mean for the others to think we slept together ,I saw the joy in your eyes when you wanted to annoy kili ,with me.I didnt want to deny that,okay pretty bad excuses I know but what I am trying to say is I love you." he poured out ,turning away from you red faced ,eyes watering slightly,you had pulled his face to you. "i love you too, seth rogen." you had blushed pressing your lips onto his before pulling away,before pushing him into the pond. You had moved out the way so he couldnt grab you had pull you in. He had went under before resurfacing, "hey when you fell in did you flounder?" you had smirked at your pun,it had matched the situation ,as hours ago you had forced him to impersonate steve carell,kili and bilbo were trying not to giggle. "what was that for?" he had gasped ,climbing out of the pond. "oi,dont be so koi ,you had that coming ,for not sticking up for me at dinner." you had pointed at him,still punning before he walked slowly towards you. "you are right maybe i should present my affection to you to make up for it." he held out his arms ,smirking you had widened your eyes muttering "no,no,no" about to run for it but you were too late,he had grabbed you,lifting you onto his shoulders before jumping back into the pond.

You had only been in the water a few seconds before fili had gotten out,lifting you out after,carrying you bridal style,you smiled up at him soaking wet, before walking towards the building. "lets go get dry then you can braid my hair ,hm?" he had finally gotten his love ,and there was nothing better, maybe a child but not right now,you finally felt you had a meaning to be in middle earth. There was a reason you were sent here to say fili,because you were meant to spend your life with him. "okay mister seth rogen?" he had looked down at you confused,as bilbo and kili stared in awe before sneaking off to tell thorin and the others. "who is seth rogen?" you had laughed "you are the seth rogen to my james franco," he didnt know what the hell you were talking about ,yet he smiled,he really was your seth rogen.

[if-the-crown-fits-translate-it]

Discord pt 99

[Date: 20/03, 06:01 AM GMT - 20/03, 07:15 AM GMT]

[CW for minor/background character death, transphobia mention]

[Read Fetch's recent asks for context]

Little-K1ng: “hey guys im home!! is fetch here yet?? how did everything go??

...haha are you guys even still awake :)”

Maxwell: “yeah

uh”

god/dreaming crying: “im awake”

Maxwell: “shit went down....again....”

Little-K1ng: “oh of course, hope it wasnt too bad

are you guys at least okay?”

Maxwell: “so...fetch isnt coming tonight...”

Little-K1ng: “...oh

uh!! well!!! just another day to make sure... make sure everythings right for him coming back”

Maxwell: “his headache got worse”

Little-K1ng: “oh no poor thing :(”

Maxwell: “and i think he got really bad sensory overload”

Little-K1ng: “oh no !!!!!

did you have him do his anxiety exercise?”

Maxwell: “so he hid in the bathroom when....knight starting talking through the blog to us”

Little-K1ng: “oh dear”

Maxwell: “he was upset that fetch kept "barking"

cause he was upset and in pain”

Little-K1ng: “huh... internal arguing? thats interesting

"upset and in pain" wonder how that happened knight”

Maxwell: “we all tried to help him but he just kept getting madder and madder until...

he got pissed at knight”

Little-K1ng: “did he yell at you?”

Maxwell: “and wanted to scare him somehow to get him to be quiet i guess”

Little-K1ng: “oh? thats weird”

Maxwell: “we thought maybe he'd say something but then someone knocked on the bathroom door apparentally”

Little-K1ng: “you're shaking, max, do you want a hug?”

Maxwell: “ah....maybe in a bit”

Little-K1ng: “im sure it was scary watching fetch get angry like that :(”

Maxwell: “he....he said the person opened the door and there wasnt anything on the blog from fetch or knight for a couple minutes”

Little-K1ng: “.....”

Maxwell: “till fetch answered an ask asking if they were alright....he said it was warm

he...said there was a lot of red”

Little-K1ng: “..........uh.... i...

....i ....... dont follow”

Maxwell: “lawerence is gone now”

Little-K1ng: “what.?

crown-”

Maxwell: “one of the gas station employees

it wasnt crown”

Little-K1ng: “it....

uh

i....

you...

??? im”

Maxwell: “fetch....he...ripped his throat out (gore warning)”

Little-K1ng: “..............................................................................................i....................

i dont........

............i dont know..................... what to say.. to that”

Maxwell: “he didnt realize what he was doing”

Little-K1ng: “i dont think he did”

Maxwell: “when he did he panicked and started crying

its why he didnt come home

he...thought I was scared of him...”

Little-K1ng: “thats...

fuck”

Maxwell: “i wasnt...but he didnt believe me”

Little-K1ng: “of course he wouldnt, max

do you know where he is now?”

Maxwell: “knight was still there and he was being kind of condescending”

Little-K1ng: “i have to go get him whether he likes it or not, he must be terrified”

Maxwell: “i dont know...im assuming he left the gas station but I dont know where”

Little-K1ng: “fuckkkk”

Maxwell: “last i heard from him

i...called him my brother....and he said he wanted to come back but knight wouldnt let him”

Little-K1ng: “oh max....

....thats........ thats really sweet”

Maxwell: “.....i wasnt lying....”

Little-K1ng: “i dont think you were, max

i know he wants to come back. im gonna go get him first chance i see where he is

i wont hurt him, i wont force him, but knowing he wants to come home is the only confirmation i need

i just-..... fuck, dude........

he really.... fucking killed someone”

Maxwell: “yeah...I guess none of us really expected that to happen”

Little-K1ng: “just like that....”

Maxwell: “he hasnt been in the best state of mind though

I know I haven't....”

Little-K1ng: “not to cool motive still murder at him but, running around drenched in blood as a hybrid in this type of neighborhood isnt. exactly a good look. and not too many folks are gonna take "i was upset" as an answer”

Maxwell: “yeah...i wish i knew where he was...”

Little-K1ng: “i should- i should wake up marcus-... does marcus know?”

Maxwell: “no though im surprised marcus didnt wake up when i started crying

i...cried a lot when he said he was scared to come home”

Little-K1ng: “oh max..... that hug is still on the table?”

Maxwell: “yes please”

Little-K1ng: “uwu;;”

Maxwell: “thanks mona...”

Little-K1ng: “anytime

!! and i mean that”

Maxwell: “i know you do, ha

now how to we wake the shithead....”

Little-K1ng: “ah, cold water

maybe sit on him

dip his hand in warm water prank?”

Maxwell: “jump on his stomach”

Little-K1ng: “something light hearted

and sibling-like ;)))”

Maxwell: “we could slap em”

Little-K1ng: “forgive me if im in like, way too good a mood. just coping with shock i guess”

Maxwell: “nah its fair...”

Little-K1ng: “hard to believe its real, ill try to contact his blog again

damn, that ask i sent without actually checking mustve been uh, Not The Vibe”

Maxwell: “....im gonna hit marcus with a pillow”

Little-K1ng: “yes please”

Maxwell: “not really he answered it saying he was sorry

WAKE UP BITCH!”

Marcus: “ow”

Maxwell: “we need to talk”

Marcus: “dude

what the fuuuck”

Maxwell: “important talk time

wake up”

Marcus: “Is fetch here?”

Maxwell: “so, fetch aint coming home tonight...”

Marcus: “What’s going on?”

Little-K1ng: “hey marcus...

im.... home....”

Marcus: “.....hi

..whats going on?”

Maxwell: “he left the gas station after knight started trying to take control with as we know suffocates him and he got bad sensory overload and then he--”

Little-K1ng: “max, do you want to keep going?”

Marcus: “Why do I feel like I’m in trouble you both look....off”

Little-K1ng: “you dont have to”

Maxwell: “no no im good just one second please....”

Little-K1ng: “take a few breaths, its alright”

Marcus: “.........”

Little-K1ng: “ive got you, ill hold you dont worry”

Maxwell: “Okay....fetch...killed one of the employees...Lawrence”

Marcus: “.....he...

...”

Little-K1ng: “im so sorry marcus...”

Maxwell: “he wasnt himself...he was talking through his blog to us as himself but knight was too....”

Little-K1ng: “ill give you a bit to process... the shock hasnt actually worn off for me yet..”

Marcus: “....fetch

...w..hy?”

Maxwell: “he kept switching back and forth between the too and lawrence came into the bathroom when he was pissed and fetch wanted to get knight to shut up...

so he tried to scare knight....not realizing hed gone too far...”

Marcus: “........”

Maxwell: “when he snapped out of it he had no memory of what hed just done and he was panicking and...crying....”

Marcus: “...I don’t... I don’t like this

Please tell me this is a joke”

Maxwell: “he said he didnt wanna come back home because he thought I was scared of him...”

Marcus: “Please pleasepleasepleaseplease”

Little-K1ng: “im checking his blog right now...... and uh.....

yeah no.. its not a joke

its a fucking horrorshow”

Marcus: “no no nonononononononono”

Little-K1ng: “marcus, do you want a hug also? or do you not want touched”

Marcus: “stop please stop stopstop”

Little-K1ng: “its a lot to take in...”

Maxwell: “i tried to get him to come home....i called him my brother....”

Little-K1ng: “im having so much trouble convincing myself its real”

Maxwell: “but...knight wouldnt let him”

Marcus: “no it’s not it’s not it’s not it didn’t happen nonononono”

Little-K1ng: “i havent even. caught up to the part where im supposed to be upset or angry. i just. i just want him home and safe and warm where i can see him i just..”

Maxwell: “he had control over the two of them...but fetch got control bacck and left but I dont know where im sorry”

Marcus: “it didn’t no nonono”

Little-K1ng: “i-..im going to sit down next to you marcus, but dont worry, i wont invade your space im just worried i might faint”

Marcus: “nothing happened everything’s okayokayokay it’s okay it’s fine everything’s fine”

Little-K1ng: “thats alright marcus, its okay. denial is okay for a while”

Maxwell: “putain

mona look”

Little-K1ng: “it helps it set in better as a gentle present

yeah?”

Maxwell: “flowers....”

Marcus: “everythings fine it’s fine it’s fine finefinefine”

Little-K1ng: “o-oh...

oh marcus.....”

Marcus: “its fine

everything’s okay”

Little-K1ng: “marcus... loosen the grip on your hair, okay? you're gonna pull too hard

you might yank some of the flowers-”

Marcus: “no nononono

Maxwell: “Ah putain putain putain!”

Little-K1ng: “marcus, please-

please give me your hands, if you can, i dont want you to hurt yourself,”

Marcus: “everything’s fine everything’s going to be okay it’s fine it’s okay it’s okay it’s okay”

Little-K1ng: “exactly”

Maxwell: “marcus please”

Little-K1ng: “shhh sh sh sh just stop pulling your hair, just calm down, deep breaths”

Marcus: “its..it’s okay it’s fine

nothing happened it’s fine”

Little-K1ng: “marcus-

its okay to say nothing happened but... you have to come to terms with it at some point. i just want to know you're okay”

Marcus: “im fineimfine”

Little-K1ng: “you're fine, marcus

you're fine, i promise”

Marcus: “im..fine

...im fine”

Maxwell: “you aint”

Marcus: “..I’m.....im fine

I’m fine :)”

Maxwell: “youre not”

Marcus: “I’m ⎎⟟⋏⟒”

Maxwell: “NO”

Marcus: “-!

w-what?”

Little-K1ng: “WHAT

what

okay

let me not

let me not yell

okay

hhhhhh

marcus?

nnnnnoooooOO okay okay”

Marcus: “....”

Little-K1ng: “vwoop vwoop dont do that”

marcus...?: “...”

Maxwell: “No....”

marcus...?: “..I..”

Maxwell: “please no....”

Little-K1ng: “marcus...?”

marcus...?: “.....

..yeah?”

Little-K1ng: “are you...... is that like... "you"?

are you sure you're still marcus? i wont be mad

you tend to just kind of.... accept it”

marcus...?: “I’m...

...hm”

Little-K1ng: “you can think about it if you want

ill call you by whoever you are”

marcus...?: “....”

Little-K1ng: “your flowers are blooming and i dont know if that....... blurred the lines? or if "you" have bloomed”

marcus...?: “...I don’t know

I hate not knowing”

Maxwell: “that's okay...i didnt know for the longest time...

not like my family tried to help....”

marcus...?: “...what are they?”

Maxwell: “the flowers...?”

Little-K1ng: “they're pretty... they suit you.. at a glance, i think they're hyacinths? and... rhododendrons? huh”

Maxwell: “theyre Purple hyacinths and rhododendrons”

Little-K1ng: “yeah

do you want a mirror?”

marcus...?: “...heh

Fitting

...that’d be nice”

Little-K1ng: “here you go”

marcus...?: “....oh

Pretty”

Little-K1ng: “yeah! purple and gold is a good look”

marcus...?: “Red too”

Little-K1ng: “im........... sorry about the other night. i realized while i was at work today what i had actually said

i didnt mean it”

marcus...?: “....”

Little-K1ng: “i didnt mean to make you feel like viscount was less you than you are”

marcus...?: “......

...I don’t...want to be sad anymore

...I forgive you Mona

......sorry about this whole mess”

Little-K1ng: “that..... i dont deserve that, but ill take it

dont be...”

Maxwell: “anyone else still having slight headaches?”

marcus...?: “It’s..kind of my fault that we’re here”

Maxwell: “its not man..”

marcus...?: “...it is

I was...

I wanted to stay”

Little-K1ng: “it wasnt your fault. i left the doors open, maxwell gave himself up, fetch uh. we'll skip that one”

marcus...?: “But I got scared when...page..took off his circlet”

Little-K1ng: “when we're all to blame theres enough to go around, dont hurt yourself carrying it all”

marcus...?: “I didn’t want to leave”

Maxwell: “you helped me get away and im thankful for that”

[Maxwell: “anyone else still having slight headaches?”]

Little-K1ng: “i mean always”

marcus...?: “but you were so unhappy

And...and crown said that if you ever wanted to leave, you could

He said that

But....

But he didn’t want to let page max leave”

Little-K1ng: “he said you could leave? he might be banking on no one wanting to, which is..... surprisingly childish”

Maxwell: “thats why im confused why not just let me go...”

Little-K1ng: “almost adorable, frankly”

Maxwell: “im just a kid

well

not really”

marcus...?: “........he”

Maxwell: “im not a kid but im young”

marcus...?: “None of us

....

Before Max and fetch...

None of us...wanted to leave

We all went...for reasons

......

...I don’t like being marcus”

Maxwell: “.....”

Little-K1ng: “...you dont have to be”

marcus...?: “......”

Little-K1ng: “you can be viscount and still stay here, i wont hurt you”

marcus...?: “..........”

Maxwell: “yeah”

marcus...?: “...what about...knight fetch”

Little-K1ng: “i... they need to figure out what actually makes them happy. for that, they're gonna need time to work that out if crown wants anything lasting. but either way, neither one is gonna hold it against you”

marcus...?: “......”

Maxwell: “yeah

i know i would prefer to stay as max because....

page reminds me of who I was before I was myself....who I truly was

when i was kid who didnt know anything”

Little-K1ng: “so... page makes you feel... helpless?

vulnerable?”

Maxwell: “yeah

hes who i was before

who i am to my family

accept my family sees me as a 'she' even if I've told them im not....”

Little-K1ng: “oh ew

have no fear max, you're you. no matter what they say

same goes to you”

Maxwell: “...i....

you know how im part rat?

but dont fully look like one?”

Little-K1ng: “yeah?

Maxwell: “like fetch kids loved the make fun of me for how i looked....my grandmother gave me a necklace when I was about 10 then helped hide those features....

made my ears more human like, pointy but easier to hide

and....got rid of the other stuff

im not supposed to wear it for more than 2 weeks but i've been wearing it ever since crown took me”

Little-K1ng: “oh no is that.... like.... unhealthy??

i dont usually have to do anything to h-.... well

yknow, like i wouldnt know”

Maxwell: “.....

i hadnt taken it off cause i got so used to wearing it

and uh....didnt know what you would do”

Little-K1ng: “....do you want to take it off?”

Maxwell: “kids used to pull on my ears and yell in em

honestly?”

Little-K1ng: “honestly”

Maxwell: “yeah....my ears have been hurting because in order to hide em it squishes em”

Little-K1ng: “do you........ want us to turn around first?”

marcus...?: “We don’t have to look if you don’t want us to”

Maxwell: “perhaps it takes a second to set in and it might be helpful if you do...”

Little-K1ng: “i can chat with marcus while it... wears off i guess?

wait, marcus uh? viscount?

whichever

uh”

marcus...?: “...I don’t know”

Little-K1ng: “ill wait for confirmation on that

but uh

are you...... feeling okay?

better, at least?

i can get you some water”

marcus...?: “...I’m..yeah

....I’m alright”

[The rest of the conversation is speculation about whether Mona truly is “the fourth” member, as well as what kind of personality her court version would have. There’s only one day left before Spring is supposed to arrive, and the court members return “home”, so there’s still a possibility that Fetch might return before then]

[inkykeiji]

HI BESTIE im sorry i’m updating u so soon after you answered my other ask im in between breaks for my classes and i saw it on the dash but i’m glad its picking up for you!!! im gonna be honest i havent watched past like episode 12 i think?? i keep meaning to continue it but the only times i can watch are on the weekends and i use the weekends to get caught up with g*nshin stuff even though i play literally all day everyday when im not reading but yeah i just havent found the time to sit down and continue but i rlly want to so i can understand wtf everyone is talking about </3 ALSO i DID get some hot cheetos we had a little bag way back in the cabinet im not sure if my mom was hiding them from me because of my addiction but i will always prevail when it comes to chester anyway i also wanna start the manga bc i feel like everything is always better in the manga and i would love to officially meet big dick daddy toji so i can actually read everyones stuff about him without getting spoiled akdbdh anyway (i say anyway a lot i should invest in a dictionary) i hope you’re having a good day!!! ik u were either dealing with irl stuff or working on bmb but i was so worried we didnt get our daily dose of clari </33 BUT im happy youre alive and well (you better be well i will fist fight every problem in your life 👁👁) - bestie anon :D

ehehehehe hi bestie!!! oh my gosh sweetpea no apologies necessary i love talking to you!!!

yeah i actually quite like it now and i’m so so so happy!!!!! i have uhhhhhh two fics in mind (plus a drabble that’s almost finished!) already so um 👀👀👀 i’m really really really eager to get started on those!!!! but obv bmb has to be done before i do anything else!!!!

oh!! ehehehe awwww i’m glad you did <33 u deserve all the hot cheetos ur lil precious heart desires!! I WANNA START THE MANGA TOO I’M ACTUALLY SO EXCITED ehehe i can’t wait!!!

thank you my luv, i am, and i hope you are too!! i know u sent this a few days ago ehehe but yeah real life ended up eating most of my time on sunday but it’s okay!!! bmb has been requiring nearly all of my free time and effort atm (it is now at 22,136 words so um, yeah) but it’s also SOOOOOO close to being done and i’m so very excited to share it n hear what u all think!! <33

but i was so worried we didn’t get our daily dose of clari PLEASE BESTIE I AM LITERALLY SOBBING UR SO SO SO CUUUUUTE ILY!!! <333333 i am happy YOU are alive and here chillin with me in my lil corner of the internet ehehe i love u sm!!

[illusionlockarchive]

pazam: a mess, truly a mess

so i usually dont do these kind of posts, i guess you could say its a call out of some sort? but i never liked that word, i prefer rather to just compile sources on WHY people would believe that a certain person is not truly as nice and understanding as they seem. consider this more of a psa post, detailing on whats going on with pazam on the sfm community, why so many people are against them.

So, a while back, tumblr user jymble made a post on the main tag stating that pazam was transphobic. they linked back to this post, which contains screenshots of pazam in a group chat stating that they do not feel comfortable with the idea of trans people. now, this did happen 9 months ago, true. however, for the record, pazam is already an adult, 24 years old, so they should have some tact. and as further and more recent events will show, they actually havent changed that much at all, at least not as they claim.

the screenshots should be in the post, but here is a transcript

[Screenshot one]

Pazam:

What????? Why?????

I literally HAVE NOT been doing ANYTHING malicious to them

And if it did I apologized

Yes I do have discomfort about them but I keep it to myself

Why are you doing this????

[End screenshot one]

‘Them’ here refers to trans people in general. Notice the defensive and victimizing stance they almost immediately take upon being confronted about their feelings on trans people.

[Screenshot two]

elliott:

of COURSE you dont

sammaku:

Like specifically

Elliott hush

Pazam:

This whole concept of transness and changing your gender physically

I hate to say it again but it weirds me out and it makes me question my own gender which flings me into anxiety, depression, and obsession

sammaku:

Its fine to not understand but are you willing to learn about it

Pazam:

I don’t want to talk about this anymore

sammaku:

That depression anxiety and obsession just comes with gender issues

(the rest of the text is cut off)

[End Screenshot two]

notice once summaku asks them if they would at least be willing to learn about it, pazam immediately deflects it by saying they dont want to talk about it anymore.

[Screenshot three]

Pazam:

Seriously??? That’s all it takes????

Wow I’m a moron

I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused to you

@.aziraphale @.elliott @.sammaku

I just don’t get this stuff period

And I’ve gotten into trouble with this stuff before

I’ll probably never understand it for the rest of my life but I’ll try to be more tactful around y’all

Especially since you’re all young

And I’m like an adult

[End screenshot three]

While at first this would seem like they had finally learned their lesson and apologized, the things they add on after the @s become quickly worrying. Not only do they admit to ‘have gotten into trouble with this stuff before’, meaning they have probably shown their transphobia in other places and been called out, but they also stand firmly on the fact that they will never understand it or ‘get’ it.

And of course, as jymble points out, the implication that the people they were talking to were only acting like that because they were young.

A while after this post was made, Pazam had posted an apology, and went onto contact jymble asking for the post with the evidence of their transphobic to be taken down. The reason? They were afraid people would see it and think they were still transphobic and not give them a chance.

In this more recent post, you can see the conversation play out between Pazam and jymbles. Long story short, Pazam feels that it’s unfair that that post is still up after they apologized, and jymble of course said they would rather not take it down, people deserve to know what they did and take their own conclusions, even if that involves avoiding them. How does Pazam respond? By flat out deleting the apology post. I’d love to show the apology post to give you both sides of the story but I cannot anymore, because Pazam in a very bizarre move just deleted it because they got mad a trans blogger wouldn’t take down their post with proof.

Here’s the transcript of the screenshots:

[Begin Conversation]

rebloggidy (Pazam’s personal):

I’m by no means transphobia-free after learning what I’ve done but at least I know my actions and am making an effort to be a better person towards trans people.

rebloggidy:

Hi again. So I hate to be that person but would it be ok if you took down that post about the transphobia claims? I know it took me 9 months to apologize but if people only see your side of the story and not realize the post I saw they’ll take it out of context and still think I’m transphobic. Do you understand?

jymble:

... i already told you im not taking down the post.

[jymble sends a screenshot of her own message in a previous conversation, the screenshot reads as follows:

however, i dont think im taking the post down, nor am i entirely comfortable with you interacting with me either. people deserve to know how you acted with this stuff, until youre really and truly *better* with it instead of just trying, and i was a direct target of it]

jymble:

you oughright told me "im by no means transphobia-free", word for word sorry, but i told you before. im not taking the post down.

rebloggidy:

I remember that. But what I'm trying to say to you is that if people who read it out of context will immediately think I'm still transphobic without the other side of it (my comment)

And I don't want people to think that in the future

jymble:

if people make assumptions without looking at the entire situation, thats on them

i am not deleting the post and thats final. people have a right to know what youve done, and they have a right to be uncomfortable

rebloggidy:

I'm ready to take down my post because frankly, I'm sick and tired of having to justifiy something that I did 9 months ago, and that people grow and learn even not 100% during that time and I'm ready to move on.

I'm still into smile for me and feel free to make a blacklist of my name so anybody who rbs my work on your dash can have it hidden or something.

Take care.

[End conversation]

a lot to unpack here, but perhaps most notable is when jymble simply stands her ground and tells pazam she wont take down the post, pazam straight up decides, without being told to or anything, that they should take down their apology. later on, they made a post stating why they deleted the post, and saying they had ‘been forced to’.

I also would love to link it here, but as of now of writing this, like, not even an hour or so after I had seen that post, it got deleted. The only memory I have of it is a conversation I had with my boyfriend about Pazam, in which I copypasted a fragment from that post that read:

“ So for those wondering where the apology post went, I was forced to delete it. I wanted to archive it in some way so I could pull it up for reference, but there was no way I could. Also I didn’t really want to see it every time on my blog because quite honestly it’s upsetting to look at.”

There are some lies and twisting of truths here. Pazam wasn’t forced to delete it, they decided they should do it as a way to somehow get back at jymble. And the excuse that it was upsetting for them to look at is just inexcusable, what matters most, letting people know of what youve done and that youre sorry, or just never addressing the situation?

But, well, I’m just hoping you’ll take my word for it. As you see, Pazam has officially deleted ANY traces of acknowledging this situation on their blog.

This worries me. If Pazam is truly as concerned that they will be seen as transphobic as they claim, why are they deleting anything that could give them a chance of showing their own side of the story?

Now, that is the end, for now, of Pazam’s history with transphobia. However! It is not the end for some other very shady things.

Namely, Pazam has consistently whitewashed characters from Smile For Me, specially Kamal, and when called out on it, simply deletes the asks.

Want to know how I know this?

I sent them an ask myself. I had come across this picture of Boris and Kamal:

And I knew that this wasn’t right. I can understand using light colors and doing watercolor, but if they can make Boris’ hair brown and vivid enough, why not Kamal? He looks like another character completely, or like he’s deathly sick! 

So I sent them an anonymous ask, perhaps a bit exhasperated, true, and my wording could be better. It went something like: “i am begging you to draw kamal with darker skin”.

I waited, checked. But nothing came of it. They never answered it.

Pazam flat out ignored when they were told they had drawn a canonically brown man with skin way too light. Not even a lone text post saying ‘hey anon, i dont agree with you’ or ‘hey anon im sorry it wont happen again’. Nothing. No word, no opinion.

And with this situation going on with them evading responsibility, I can’t say I’m fully surprised.

And, yet another thing. People had expressed concern over the fact they had drawn their Flower Kid, who is 17, in very intimate and close positions with Dr. Habit. It included nuzzling faces, cuddling in bed together, wearing his coat...

And they did hear the claims this time. As of now, their Flower Kid is 24, according to them.

Except... They do not look 24. At. All.

this is a 12 year old. at best. short body, stubby legs, big head. those are all attributes of a very young character, usually children. like, legitimately, thats how childrens anatomy is in real life. the younger the person, the bigger their head is in proportion to their body.

We have already had an adult trying to justify drawing their flower kid who barely looked like an adult if at all in intimate situations with Habit. Let’s not let it slide by again.

And yes, I’m aware Pazam claims that those pictures were not supposed to be interpreted as romantic, ‘only platonic fluff’ and that they intend to keep it that way, but I have talked to my boyfriend who is a survivor and he said it very well could be a case of someone just trying to cover their tracks.

BUT, all that being said, maybe this one particular instance could be just us being wary. Still, it does not diminish all that they have done, specially ignoring the whitewashing claims.

What you are going to do with this information, I do not know. Maybe you don’t care and will keep reblogging their content. Maybe you’re disgusted by them. But I’m just here to give you the facts. Personally though, I’m not willing to give them much of a chance after the way they’ve behaved. They are 24 years old, three years older than me, and I think I could do a better job of handling a situation like this, frankly.

[dontyouhearmehowling]

oh my god. Ok so I just scrolled through your blog and my heart hurts because there is so much love and just so much stuff I can relate too and I just ahhh damnnn it I cant even but like can I please have the story of your relationship with this girl your with? please? i'm a hopeless romantic I feel too much I love so hard my own love life is complicated but i know the kind of love you talk about thats exactly how i love the love of my life too so yours is a story I need to hear

ok so. it all started on April 31st, 2018. i reblogged one of those ask games and she sent me an emoji that said “i’m too scared to talk to you but i think you’re great” and i was like do it!!! and she did!!!! she texted me after i had already gone to sleep tho, so i only answered the next day. but then we talked all day. and the next. and the next. and we never ran out of things to talk about and even only knowing her for a few days i already felt comfortable enough with her to talk about anything?? it was wild. since day 1 we’ve had this connection that i’ve never had with anyone else and its my favorite thing in the world. after like a week we already had a bunch of inside jokes, something that i’d never had before, and i was already crushing on her. ok so we became very close friends like immediately, and i mostly ignored my crush on her bc i thought she didn’t like me back and usually i’d get meaningless crushes on everyone at first before i met her. but then this other girl and i started flirting and i realized i didnt like her bc i liked c too much, so i broke things off and kinda went like “oh shit this is real” and decided that i’d just stay friends with c until i eventually couldnt take it anymore and had to tell her abt my feelings bc thats how i am. anyways ok cool meanwhile i made her watch the good place on rabb.it with me which will be relevant later.

ok so fast forward to may 21st or something around that time. its time to sleep bc i have school the next day so we say goodnight, but then i guess she says something or reblogs something and i get sad bc i realize she doesnt like me back. so i make some hashtag sad posts abt yearning and then i realize i told her i was going to sleep and i didnt want her to think i didnt want to talk to her so i text her again and say like “ok i was going to go to sleep but then i got sad abt my crush” and SHE GOES “you have a crush????????” and im there like. what in the hell bc not only did i not try to hide it At All, i constantly posted about it and had an entire tag about her and i thought it was pretty obvious. so anyways i go “yes?? i thoought you knew that?? im literally always posting about it??” and she asks me to talk abt the crush and who it is. i say “just stalk the tag if u want, im going to sleep” then shes like “nO WAIT WHO IS IT” and im like. blatantly ignoring that and my heart is already beating out of my chest but she Really wants to know and then at one point i say “please dont make me answer that” so shE SAYS “you’re making me think that its me” and i say “i dont know what you want me to say” and SHE GOES “I WANT YOU TO SAY THAT ITS ME BC I HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON YOU” so i just. die. right then and there. also yknow we talk about it and its like after 1 am and im just happier than i’ve ever been. ok so 2 days later she asks me out Officially and its great and shes the cutest gf ever and she made me feel more wanted than i’d ever felt in my entire life. then 6 days later she sends me a big big big text on tumblr and long story short (bc it was kinda personal), she would be deleting her all social media for the summer.

so she was gone. and we had only dated for a week at this point, but we’d known each other for 2 months, and i already loved her. i already knew she was the love of my life. i didnt even try to move on, i’d tell people i didnt wanna move on cuz i knew i was meant to love her. i had another blog like this that i used to talk about how much i loved and missed her (so like. exactly like this). i literally reasoned with myself that like. that happened because before i met her i was in a really bad place after a terrible relationship and i was almost giving up on finding someone who actually made me feel loved bc i thought it would never happened, so i was like “ok so i was in a really bad place, so the universe brought my soulmate a little early just for a while so that i would know i had to hold on, and when its actually time for us to be together, it will bring us to each other once again” like i actually told myself that, in those words. and yknow what? i wasnt even wrong. on july 15th she texted me from an empty tumblr with her old url and at first i literally couldnt believe it but we talked for hours and hours and i asked her what happened bc i thought she was disconnecting for the summer and she said “i was. i am. i just couldnt not talk to you anymore” and she said that she thought about me every single day, and i told her i missed her and she said she didnt text sooner bc she thought i’d be angry at her and ofc i wouldnt, i could never be angry at her and besides, she was just taking care of herself and i said i dont think i could be anything less than head over heels for for, and she said she felt the same way, but wasnt ready to be more than friends yet. but that had always been more than enough for me. just having her in my life would always be more than enough for me. so we stayed friends.

then, on august 9th i got this ask.

and she saw it after i said i was gonna go to bed (bc again, i had school the next day) and she texted me a whole thing about how that was the nicest thing anyone had ever said about her and that i should be asleep but she had to get it out of her chest and that her anxiety made it hard for her to show how much i meant to her so she was sorry if i didnt know and this would probably make no sense but she was tired of keeping it to herself bc shes the luckiest person alive for having met me and that it was gonna be so hard because shes so difficult (shes not) and her anxiety is difficult but that she literally spent every night thinking about me and of buying plane tickets to come see me so that she could be with me. then she was like “im sorry if this is uncomfortable to you and you can just ignore it but i think im in love with you and this is over text and not romantic at all (it was the most romantic night of my life) but you’re asleep (i wasnt) and we arent together but i want to be one day” and until this i was Trying to fall asleep and then i checked my phone that kept RINGING and died a thousand times over and started to answer and she sent other texts saying “i’ve never felt this way about anyone before i’m so in love with you its fucking ridiculous and this is gonna be so complicated but fuck i want this so bad / i’m sorry it took me so long / would you move to new york with me?” and i was This Close to literally fucking exploding like. how the hell was this happening how was it not a DREAM. so we talked and i obviously said i loved her too and eventually she asked me out and thats still probably the best night of my life. other highlights: “i’ve loved you way before august 9th so jot that down” and “off topic but i love you / you’re honestly my other half” and, after i said “you cant make me laugh its 2am”, she answered “i’m going to make you laugh for the rest of your life so help me god” and thats my favorite thing anyone has ever said to me probably and so far she’s kept her word.

anyways we got back together and then she told me that she never even told her friends she broke up with me??? bc that way she could keep pretending we were still together???? literally like sjdksndk imagine being this loved. i dont have to. anyways she wrote poems abt me sometimes and her christmas gift for me was gonna be a book with all her poems and she called it “what we owe to each other” because of the good place (remember how i said it’d be relevant later? its later) bc like she said that when we were watching tgp together on rabb.it thats when she realized that she Really Truly liked me like For Real. and the inscription on the book was going to be “to the girl i love / and what i owe her” and. yall. i cry. anyways one of the poems had a huge impact on us. heres the story:

and she got them but we broke up before she got to mail them to me. what happened was she had some mental health problems and she said she couldnt give me what i needed at the time but knew i’d still give her my all bc thats just how i am and she thought it wouldnt be fair so she broke things off to work on her mental health. she said she would need some time before we could be friends. the last thing we said was that we loved each other. this was in like november 2018, and we didnt talk for months. i actually tried to move on this time after a while, but it didnt take. and then i gave up for good. havent tried since. but anyways, then, on march 11th, 2019, i had my first day of college back in my home country, and we have this “pranks”/games that seniors get to do to the freshmen, and one of them required eggs, and they asked us to paint them, so i panted mine as iron man bc it was easy, but c LOVES iron man. like. LOVES. like in a Whole New Level of loving. once when we were dating she said she loved me more than tony stark and i was like. shook. like she tattooed “T.S” on her ankle after him. u get the point. she loves him very much, its adorable and endearing and i love it. anyways. so i sent her a picture of it saying like “you dont have to answer this but i made this for my university and i thought you would like it” and she answered and IMMEDIATELY something clicked and we talked and talked and talked and it was never weird or awkward or uncomfortable. it never is with her. its incredible, i cant explain it. i Know shes my soulmate like thats the ONLY possible explanation for this kind of connection. its unreal. anyways. we became friends again! all was well.

then one beautiful night she drunk texts me sndjkajs she sends me so many texts and says it sucks that we live so far away and that she saw my posts (in this particular case, one that said something about like. when she talked about love now, was it about someone else?) and she said that it wasnt. and then she went to sleep and i only saw the texts when i woke up and i was DYING bc we had a 4 hour difference and it’d take a while for her to wake up. when she did, we talked and she said she wasnt over me and was scared she might never be, and even though we were still gonna stay friends, it was nice to know that she still loved me. ok so fast forward a bit more and i was starting to wonder if she’d moved on again, when she finds out her best friend had a crush on her, and that conversation ends up with her saying “it was 100% platonic for me / sorry if thats weird i just wanted you to know that” and it was NOT weird it was GREAT NEWS bc i was Hella jealous of her best friend and at first i wondered if they were dating and anyways the fact that she wanted me to know that was a pretty good hint that she still had feelings for me. ngl im still somewhat jealous of h (c’s best friend), but thats just bc im an insecure lil bitch and also bc they get to go out and do stuff together that i cant do with c bc of the distance, yknow? but anyways. then she went on a graduation trip in mid to the end of june and she bought me a magnet. just. out of nowhere. i cannot stress enough how Incredibly unexpected this was. so much so that i actually convinced myself that it meant she was over me????? literally. what the fuck. anyways we named him together and coincidentally (or bc of soulmate powers. who knows) we both had the same favorite names. i still love that.

okay so then we go to july 29th, 2019. first of all theres one of my favorite interactions Ever which was like after i was venting about something and i was thanking her and i said “you’re always here for me” to which she answered “nowhere else i’d rather be” and i still think thats peak romance and i will take no criticism on this. anyways so then she sent me a poem that she wrote based on a song i’d sent her (the song i called “heaven is a place” and its the BIGGEST mood for being in love and i sent it to her bc it was how i felt about her so her writing a poem about it?? literally the best thing ever. love it) anyways it was a beautiful poem and i cried and got very emotional and kinda went too far in my compliments (aka being very obvious about my romantic feelings) and then i was like oh no sorry if i made u uncomfortable and she was like. “you have NEVER. EVER EVER EVER EVER made me uncomfortable” “you’re the only person on planet earth i am comfortably myself around” and “there’s nothing you could ever say that i wouldn’t wanna hear” and anyways it was just very good and romantic conversation even tho we were just cough cough platonic hashtag gal pals hashtag no homo ✌️ and then she was like ok wait. i need to talk to u abt something. and in short she said she was waiting for us and i was like well what are you waiting for exactly? and she was like idk?? for us to accidentally bump into each other in new york in a few years?? WHICH WAS LITERALLY WHAT I’D DAYDREAM ABOUT BACK IN JUNE 2018 BEFORE SHE CAME BACK OKAY so anyways we had a Great conversation and said i love you about a thousand times each and she decided she was gonna buy tickets to come see me. and then she dID like TWO DAYS LATER. lichrally. queen of impulsivity but in the best way possible.

—————

ok quick edit here cuz i forgot to say that when i found out she was coming i asked for my mom’s help to make a necklace pendant for her from scratch. my mom works with prosthetics so she has the material to make jewelry and back when c and i were dating in 2018 i had made this lil design for a necklace that had the moon and the ocean (bc duh) and i was gonna give it to her for valentines day in 2019 but we broke up before that so i didnt get the chance, but when i found out i was meeting her i knew i had to. so i made the necklace in wax, like this:

and my mom took it to her work and heated it up to melt it and keep the shape of it to fill with silver, and this was the result:

i gave it to her when she got here and she wore it while she was here and it made me so happy. ok edit over

—————

ok so we kept being like couple-y but not officially in a relationship bc we didnt want to make her anxiety worse. also at one point she was like “so about the ‘i love you more than the moon/ocean’ thing, since we BOTH love BOTH of the moon AND the ocean, i think its only Fair if we update our love declarations to ‘i love you more than the mocean’ bc its mix of both but thats not a word, buT its pronounced exactly like ‘motion’. therefore we should both start saying ‘i love you more than the motion’”. so now we have both the wonderful, romantic, original version, and the NOT ROMANTIC AT ALL DO U HEAR ME C??? version :) and after this day she always started with the WORST!!!!!! version, and i always started with the Only Valid Version, but we’d still answer each other’s ofc because. well. thats love i gues?? it sorta goes like this though: her: i love you more than the motion / me: i hate u / me: i literally hate u so much / me: i Also love you more than the motion

but anyways she was coming to visit me but the plane ticket wasnt for my home country it was for where i was going to university at (a new university, i was starting over) and when i first got here on this campus, i didnt have a working phone number for this country, and i wouldnt be able to access the wifi for 3 days, so i had no way of talking to her. it was TERRIBLE and i missed her more than anything in my LIFE but when i got wifi (after CRYING to the people here bc theyre the most unorganized uni ever and i was already very overwhelmed and stressed) i immediately called her and she’d sent me over 100 text messages dkfjssjks it was amazing, there were two (2) videos of her singing (which is like. objectively the best thing in the world, and the song was rlly romantic and i love it sm when she showed it to me for the first time she said it made her think abt me), a poem, AND a HUGE text with “i love you” written like. a THOUSAND TIMES. seriously i have a gif of it opening and scrolling bc it was so long that the text wouldnt show up directly on the chat screen and u have to click on it to see the rest. i’d never felt more loved in my entire life by anyone ever. anyways so then it came the day for her to get here and i had to wake up at 5 am to go get her at the airport and the uber was like $40 but who CARES it was the best day of my LIFE and i got there 20 minutes earlier bUT GUESS WHAT SO DID SHE (hashtag just soulmate things) then we facetimed the entire time while she was walking through the airport and getting her luggage and then she hung up to walk to the door where i was and we hugged for like 5 minutes and we were totally in people’s way and also almost fell but it was the best thing in the world and i never should’ve let her go. but, we had to go home, so i did. and we spent 4 days together and im not gonna go into details bc this is already too long but u can always send me another ask about her visit if ur not a coward. also i bought her a hoodie from my uni and whenever she wears it i just. die. in short, those days were the happiest i’ve ever been. this campus res had never felt like home before that friday and it hasnt again since that monday, but i swear to god, during those 4 days, this was the only place i could possibly belong.

anyways then she left and i cried for the entire uber ride home and then i cried all day. lmao. also when she was here she gave me the poetry book, the magnet, and the bracelet. still wear the bracelet every single day and i love it more than anything. but then personal stuff happened and we kinda stopped being couple-y again and we’re just friends now but before new years i asked her if she still loved me and she said yes and she said she’d tell me if it changed so ✌️✌️ im assuming it hasnt. even tho my brain is a bitch and everyday its like. today. today is the day. this is when its gonna happen. buT yknow we’ve spent months before without even talking to each other and we got through that still in love, so i mostly ignore it. and tbh i know that actually like, even if we grow apart now (god forbid, but still) we’ll find our way back to each other eventually. like, i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again: nothing, not even the universe itself, can convince me that shes not my soulmate. and even if it turns out i’m not hers, loving her is still the greatest honor i can think of.

another edit: also i started drawing recently and the first person i’ve ever finished drawing was her and also (surprise surprise @c since you’re already seeing all my feelings anyway) bc of my second drawing i almost missed the deadline for one of my midterms (which was a take-home test) bc instead of writing it i spent the entire day before the deadline finishing the drawing which was a secret valentines day gift (secret as in she didnt know it was supposed to be a gift, she thought it was just a drawing inspired by a quote that she loves) and i finished at 2 am but shes 3 hours behind so for her it was still 11 pm which MEANS it was still valentines day so it still counts, i win, lesbian rights!

[01010010-posts]

— my white sighs quietly melted with the stars above.

it all started with a simple ‘you’re a slowpoke??’ text and it should have ended there, really, but you got a reply immediately after. ‘I’m sorry, I think you have the wrong person’. absolutely no, you scoffed, as if you were going to be tricked again ‘bitch don’t play the wrong number card because you didn’t catch the bus’. he was amused by your obstinacy and lightly worried about the supposed receiver, who, it appeared, was very clumsy; ‘please, control the number you texted, I’m Connor.’ boy he sure was. not your pal, not someone else in your contact list, just.... Connor. ‘god, i apologize!! thank you for telling me! ps. didn’t mean to call you a bitch, connor’ and it should have ended there, really, but you got a reply. connor: shouldn’t you be in bed by now? you: but,,,, i wanted to chat with u a little more connor: as an android sleep is not required but you, as a human, need to rest. we can always continue talking tomorrow. you: :( what if you have a long case tomorrow?? mh?? what if?? what you’re gonna say in your defense then?? connor: don’t worry :) I’ll find time for you. you: ok you win goodnight ☆ connor: sweet dreams. goodnight, [name]. it’s been three months since you’ve first spoken with him. intimacy there but low, how obvious it is that the two of you are proceeding with caution. yet you can’t help but write to him every day, staying up late while waiting for an answer of his, often checking your mobile and getting unsettled when there’s no signal. it’s strange, your colleagues whisper, how can you be so attached to someone if you’ve never even seen him? of course, you know it. you don’t wish for a pretty face, you only wish for a pretty personality. with a heavy sigh and a loud poof you pull the white duvet up to your head, finding comfort by completely hiding inside the warm embrace. you tightly hug a pillow, pretending that it’s him, returning your affection and cuddling, maybe caressing you too inasmuch, as he said, ‘androids don’t need to sleep’. but is it bad to fantasise? you: I’m deeply sorry.... sweetheart: >:( you: [name], it’s the seventh text-made emoji you’ve sent me.... they expressed some sort of anger so I’d prefer if we discussed about whatever is bothering you. sweetheart: >:(( you: I’m begging you.... sweetheart: you’re grounded and your punishment is enduring the wrath of weird angery text-based emoji :< you: what did I do to deserve this? :’( sweetheart: i sent you a heart & you didn’t send it back to me you: gosh! how clumsy of me! could you ever forgive this fool? sweetheart: mhhh it depends. what are you willing to do to be pardoned? you: I’ll send you whatever heart I possess! 💕💖💗💖 sweetheart: THIS IS UNFAIR!!! he’s silently giggling all by himself, in the cold room lit by his blue led circling at a steady rhythm– no, it’s not the temperature, rather it’s the atmosphere; ‘cold’. he’s still grappling with emotions and developing tastes is– well, to put it simply, complicated. he’s heartened with the fact that you once said, at the sight of a photo of his bed and the corner within, that being minimalistic is a style too. though, possibly, his true self is one of a clutterer of knick-knacks. of course, he’d like you to help him pick what ornaments would suit him the best. you: wtf i dont believe it connor♡ : but it does! you: prove it MIKU HATSUNE connor♡ : listen here human it’s not my fault you haven’t got the chance to witness an android external fluid deactivating you: !!!!! are you bragging?? connor♡ : ahahaha I’m joking it’s sending a video right now you watch ecstatically as soon as the app downloads the file, your chest throbbing with pleasurable anxiety. how can it be? he’s kind, precious AND fucking handsome, skin or no skin. you bet bad things will happen to you today to balance this sheer luck. think it thoroughly, it’s actually the first time you see his face. you: u’r cute also how does your hair work man connor♡ : thank you :) it’s connected to my head so.... you: i get it cybernetic magic your secrets are safe with me connor♡ : ahahaha and I was concerning myself about disgusting you you: WHAT fuck no you’re done that way, ok, it’s cool ok? kept it in mind are you allowed to insert ♡ near his name and not tell him? you: I’m waiting!! :/ sweetheart: so needy you: come on, [name]! sweetheart: tru tho you: >audio file cooome ooooonn sweetheart: !!! im ready pick up idiot the monitor lits and here you are, gorgeous. he’s certain that his heart melted on the spot. such is the sensation you give him every time you send him a photo, his thirium pump skipping a beat and making him inevitably somewhat gasping for air, mouth barely closed. he’s not accustomed to all the new features deviancy brought but in this he’s confident, he’s head over heels in love with you. you: what?? you’ve already seen the movie?? love♡ : yeah! I went with Hank! it was very nice, you should see it too you: WELL id kill to (please don’t arrest me detective) but nobody wants,,,, love♡ : why is that? (I won’t arrest you if you behave) you: something along the lines of not their genre or some shit uff (seems sketchy) love♡ : what about going alone? (it isn’t!!) you: it would be too sad :’(  love♡ : I’m sorry to hear that, if I could be there I’d accompany you and wouldn’t mind seeing it a second time. you: yes i know.... what is it? six months? more? you hardly remember, having so many messages in here, it would be too difficult to keep track, though you’re positive, that if you asked him he’d tell you in an instant, since he’s so attentive with that little brain-computer of his. you close your lids, tapping your fingers on the desk, it’s wearing, you must admit. you like him, a lot at this point, but being so far and out of reach.... what can come out of this? friends don’t support you either, ignoring this blatant crush, trying to make you hook-up with people met at a bar, getting annoyed at you constantly texting, preaching that a long distance relationship is not worth your time and your effort, and it’s not even a relationship, isn’t it? you’re not on that level. you’re just weirdos keeping themselves company. bummed out a bit, you decide that maybe avoiding him for a couple of days might be a proper solution. will he feel your absence? will he miss you? you: is everything all right? sweetheart: yes. you: are you sure? sweetheart: yep im,,,, swamped with work, the drill you: that I understand but perhaps I did something wrong? sweetheart: ?? you: you’ve been acting kinda cold lately, and if I’m the cause of that I’m sorry. being a deviant is good sometimes, and sometimes is not. it was great until a while ago so why now.... now....? he feels so lost. it’s understandable to have a job and a life outside this bond but– but is it really? is it okay for you to be without him? you’d manage fine. mhh no– the real question is: is it okay for him to be without you? can he be without sending you a text at least once a day? can he be without hearing your voice at least once a week? can he be without your usual video calls at least twice a month? can he be without seeing you, over a screen, cooking your dinner and singing? can he be? can he exist without you? he’s.... starting to doubt that. sweetheart: no i’m i’m the one whos sorry, okay? we can call tomorrow you: I don’t want to press you into anything you don’t want to sweetheart: you’re not! i’ll make up for not having been so present! you sigh, suffocating yourself on the pillow, how can you be this dense? this stupid? this utter moronic?? unequivocally he was going to worry. you made him worry. fuck. you’re going to trust your guts, no dumb jokes, it’s obvious that you both care about the other and can’t stay apart for too long. you: i know it’s 3AM and you told me to not be awake but i cant i cant okay? im thinking of you and me and you and it began because im a mess so it shouldnt be a surprise i havent gotten better this past year has been.... the best. yeah i fucked up and tried to be distant, to see if sth would change but it didnt i love waking up and finding a text from you, i love the sound of your voice trying to lull me goodnight when im being a spoiled child, i love how you’re so gentle & how you always forgive me and mostly i love you not as a friend, definitely as more, definitely like a lover and i know that you’re so caring that you’ll probably still want to talk with me even if the affection’s not mutual you lock your phone’s screen and place it on the nightstand. the orange light from the streets seeping through the curtains and soaking your covers, and now that your eyes are free to roam, it’s easier to notice the soft feathers’ filling making tiny shadows on your face. poor poor geese. your fingertips slightly touch the stitches, your heartbeat pacing furiously from the strong emotions, both trepidation and fear running your veins. what if he doesn’t feel the same? what if he’s been polite this whole time and you overstepped his boundaries? what if? love♡ is typing.... ping! love♡ : I love you too, honey. but please, don’t scare me again, I think I lost four biocomponents when you suddenly stopped replying to me. also you should sleep. you: im pouring my heart out ugly crying and!!!! you’re too casual nooo it’s no big deal baby we just fucking love each other it’s totally ok incoming call from love ♡ “hey....” his tone slow and almost drowsy “i thought it was clear enough.” words rolling off his tongue, the same that he’d tenderly run across you, kissing, tasting, worshipping your body “i hate you.” you sniffle and there’s a chuckle on the different end “i love you.” you smile, wiping off the tears wetting your cheeks with the back of your right hand “i love you too.”