#real summer fun im having
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mosquitos mosquitos mosquitos mosquitos mosquitos every night mosquitos msoquitos every mronfing evey day msoquitos msoqshshwfjldkglfldndbiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
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started stardew valley for the first time. born to remember villager likes and dislikes forced to immediately forget it the moment i take my eyes off thw wiki
#HELP. HEEEELPP <- THE FORGETTER#i have 18 different tabs open and im pretty sure half of them are duplicates. i have not made anything past 5000G i am so cooked#rn im at summer 11 ish?? i cant remember dates in real life either jesus christ GRIPPING THE COMMUNITY CALENDAR WITH MY BARE HANDS#my ass really went into this like “ill just take it easy and go into it blind so i get the newborn baby deer experience" completely ignoran#to the fact that i get anxious disappointing ppl and not having any background knowledge going into smth new. like a FOOL#also the walking speed is just slow enough to make me space out and forget where i was going and what i needed to do head in my hands#ive had to backtrack all over pelican town so many different times im in fucking adhd hell. resource management hell#im saying this like i hate it but its actually pretty fun and engaging when im not gripping my head trying to remember what i was doing#i got linus' 2 heart event and it made me whimper a little. LINUSSS LINUS I LIKE HIM. AND WILLY AND MARNIE THEYRE SO NICEYS#marnie kinda like.. reminds me of my friends mom even her face is pretty similar. shes sweet i like her. also willy calls me lad hes cool#i think im just gonna start a new save and NOT rely on the fucking mixed seed forages bc my ass was too stubborn to buy seeds#i just got sebastians 2 heart event too ughhh ive never had to work so hard for an emo boys approval. but it was satisfying#corn will fix me. its a replenishable summer-fall crop corn has to fucking fix me PLEASE#i also. made a stardew valley farmer. the one im playing as. their name is cosmo they have a backstory and everything im making#him a ref. his backstory is so fucking funny just wait#yapping#diary#puppy plays sdv
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caught up this week right in time for the start of season 5… we’re so back
#i missed this show so bad it’s unreal#if u were concerned yes rita is describing riverdale plot points and YES they are one hundred percent accurate (source: me im an expert)#frankly rita would fucking adore riverdale. the world should embrace this more#anyhow. falling back into old hyperfixations is what the summer is for innit ^_^ and its nice to draw better than 2020 me could. we have fun#the penumbra podcast#tpp#jupeter#juno steel#peter nureyev#rita (tpp)#buddy aurinko#vespa ilkay#jet sikuliaq#god i stopped listening somewhere when s3 was coming out cause school was too much at the time... relistening made me tear up#feels good feels organic feels like i missed juno steel so bad and didn’t even realize tili had him back#nureyev voice do you think these louboutins are too flashy for a kombucha brewing#<- real line from riverdale. rita could attest to that. i know this in my heart
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meitnerium / "WHO'S BETTER THAN DEFT NOW?"
Part of LoL Esports Elemental Series.
#lolelements#lol esports#kt deft#mdk supa#azipost#edit#sk rahel and gen peyz too#images from EUphoria 2024 ep 3 i think#kt gen lck summer 2024 r1#mdk sk lec summer 2024 w3d2#lck regional finals t1 kt#and lol esports flickr (worlds 2024 swiss day 5)#i have nothing against him lol esp if he's working as hard as he says#it just seems like typical trashtalk for hype which is fun to watch#but 'better than deft' came back to bite him HARD#two zeri's getting their ankles broken in the same week? idk what he did to make the universe do that to him#tbf also why pick on grandpa deft#say some shit like 'im better than a*ming' lol#also obviously now deft needs to come back after draft so they can face off for real#riot bring back allstars
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I have found a beautiful perfect humble rock specimen that is light yellow with a weird dark yellowy brown lining, somewhat resembling a chunk of smoked gouda cheese... effervescent
#I am still very into trash collecting at the moment and even went out and got one of those grabby sticks for cheap and a little#bucket I can carry around and put trash in. so I am going on walks in nature a bit more (not really to enjoy nature but more to play the#very fun Real Life Hidden Object Point And Click Game that is 'hunt for bottle caps and cans' .. but eh.. whatever gets me out of the#house lol).. anyway.. some nature places near water will have cool rocks#Which I know you're not supposed to take them and I MOSTLY dont.. but every once in a while it's like... when else will I ever find a#gouda rock... I have cleaned up 4 buckets of trash today.. I have helped the environment.. mayhaps.. i could take a One Single Rocke as a#treate... ANYWAY. but yeah. I don't know the names of rocks but there's a rock that's a matte muted marigold yellow sort of#color and I call them 'cheese rock'. I'm pretty sure this one is of the 'cheese rock' species but it just has weird brown coloration#like maybe it got stained or something on one side of it. Most of the other cheese rocks have no markings. though sometimes there will be a#auburn reddish sort of hue on a corner or something.. hrmm.. curious. I also got a Beginner's Hobby rock tumbler and some supplies#so I might try polishing some of the rocks from my enormous rock collection. even though they're all street rocks I picked up from sidewalk#and stuff. I saw a video where someone put random gravel and stuff in a rock tumbler and none of them were Stunning Gems or whatver#but some still turned out cool enough that I would be pleased with the result... OUgh.. I want to post more I need to like do costumes and#sculptures and stuff and be Active On Social Media and think about my Future and Career and how it always benefits artists to keep an#active social media or etc. but I just feel so tired and bad lately. I think the summer heat waves have really exhausted me. I also have#been trying to make new friends + on a weird schedule so I've been socializing and also watching media too much. I notice I always start#to feel this kind of unsettled stress of not making any forward progress in my life if I do that for too long. like 'Okay this week I've#done nothing but meet up with two friends & watch like 10 episodes of tv and only worked on a few projects on the side.. this is HORRIBLE!'#(ppl who follow me here that I talk to on discord: this isn't about you! Im specifically just referencing being tired of introductory talks#with a new round of random strangers during my Friend Hunt. Just clarifying so it couldn't be misinterpreted as vaguepost implying that I'm#secretly bothered by talking to you or etc. lol.. anyway) . Which I know to MOST people 'I talked to a lot of friends and watched some cool#stuff!' sounds like a GOOD relaxing time but.. to me it is not ghhj.. Those are 'external' focuses on things outside myself which bothers#me if not moderated. Like.. i MUST retreat internally to work on my worldbuilding and my own thoughts and etc. at very regular intervals or#it will really start to bear on me too much. Brain Mandated Hermit Isolation lol. Just being too detached from my world and stuff for#too long feels increasingly bad. PLUS. every day I don't make tangible progress towards my goals is a day wasted that I could have been#investing in my future by working on novels/games/sculptures/actual career relevant stuff. Not even in a Capitalism way i just genuinely#enjoy Completing Tasks & feel miserable if I don't for too long. EVEN the media I'm watching I turn into A Task since I rank in a detailed#google doc list after viewing lol.. Like EW movie too boring on it's own. NEED to turn it into something I can categorize and analyze ghghj#LOVE to make things more complicated than they need to be. like YAAAY organizational tasks! yaay meticulous sorting!! BOO ''mindless fun''!
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fishhook halloween costumes. what are they this year
so last year my immediate response was "alien and astronaut" and i still think thats deeply adorable. but this year... hm. well i think cowboys/outlaws could be a fun look for them maybe? or they could do one of the tacky food joke couples costumes? hamburger and hot dog... or like. hog could be a pumpkin and they could be a farmer (and itd match with junkrats scarecrow awwwwwwww)??
#also random but last halloween i said kaiju and damsel would be a cute costume for them and this summer they made kaiju hog real...#so if i have such power over the dev team can i formally request astronaut and/or diver#fun fact about me im utter dogshit at costumes. im a big fan of halloween but i HATE thinking of and executing costumes#i just wear halloween themed outfits instead.#🐟
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anyway! officially booked both the time off and the hotel to go to london for my birthday. this will be nice
#saying it out loud so its real a little here#we're gonna roll it into seeing family too#nyxtalks#idk if anyone actually resds these but. good solution to my messy emotions about not having people to do things with anymore#just get the fuck outta here#its middle of summer holidays so im gonna try & find. some less popular things to do! maybe even. not do them with my mum#but also doing them alone will be. overwhelming. but maybe good for me#anyway. couple weeks to go. we will see how it goes#i wish i was the kind of person to go out to bars. londons got a lot of queer spots maybe itd be nice to go. be me#i so very rarely get to be me#(i just wouldnt enjoy the bar alone part though. but ONCE AGAIN. this is the birthday plan Because im alone)#i guess im still having those feelings i was having. but at least im not gonna be sat at home miserable now#i wanna maybe do smthn fun on here too. yall are my actual connections these days. idk!#its the 18th. got a little to decide. idk what would even be fun for people
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#personal#keep being like. if Only i had talked to him sooner. if Only i had been Friendlier sooner. but its like#Realistically.... probably wasnt ready. and also like. itd have to happen after school was over anyway bc 1. um i need to focus on school#and 2. how Awkward if i asked him out n he said no. or say we broke up or soemthing#like there were weeks i saw him every day. aint no way... i could handle the awkwardness of that#so ok ok ok. everything is fine JFJFJKFKFKFMFMFMFMFMF#i just have to remember not to get in my own head about it#like if i wanna message him i just should.....#its just..... hhhhHHhhhhh whyd this have to happen to me at 29. i could have been a happy spinster thank u NFJFJFJFJJFJFJFJF#but now ik what having an actual crush is like and oh wow is it painful. but also beautiful n fun. i just...... and lets face it this is#more than a crush. like its definitely Like like but i dont wanna say the Real L Word bc it seems..... idk JDJDJJDJD#but ive definitely um.... fallen. ya. ew JDJDKDJKDKDKDKDKS#but im just gonna follow my gut or whatever the fuck has been guiding me bc things have worked out so far#and like it wouldnt have without his participation. like ya....#im just like... what if he Forgets about me or like everything fizzles out#but then its like i Know if i see him again itll all come back.#bc in the summer i tried so hard to get over him (and kinda succeeded)... only to see him again in class and be like oh fuck oh no and the#n That Dinner. that was the final blow. i was so overwhelmed i got lost on the way home#which... the restaurant we were at is less than 10 mins from my house so you can imagine the uh Overwhelmingness#i cant even remember the original point of this but. i think we'll find a way ....... i say we but i should say 'i' bc until he tells me#that he likes me im gonna have to like Not Assume. hhhh#it doesnt help either that ppl were bringing up 'hes just not that into you' on twt bc Now im like#oh God. am i in that kind of situation???? i doubt it tho. i think hes just reserved. GAH. whatever happens happens
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cant believe Im the oldest in my friend group but also the most ugly awkward and stupid like its so truly joever for me
#:(#love my friends I try to be as supportive as possible#ig lately it feels like they're trying to hide achievements from me#bc they think I'll feel bad about myself????#I remember last summer a friend said she was going to boston#I said cool have fun 🤗 and like months later I found out (through her sister) that she had flown there by herself to attend berklee#she was what 14???? at the time maybe 15 cant remember#Ive noticed some of u are 14#and equally as talented <3#now shes producing music for her own short films which is something Ive always wanted to get into#and she didnt even ask me for help </3#Im aware shes allowed to do stuff on her own without me#but its starting to feel like I'll never be able to do that myself#whenever I like something casually and bring it up to someone#they always go “omg thats so crazy I love that thing and Ive actually been doing it my whole life and Im a real professional”#ok so I should go fuck myself???? lemme have just one (1) thing
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people smarter than me have said this before but jesus christ why does every job seem to require at least a year of experience and a degree in some hyperspecific field. where did the entry level positions go? how am i even supposed to get experience if none of yall will give me a job without it?
#theres already almost nothing related to my field being offered but even the unrelated things that i think i could try are out bc of this#most of the stuff id actually care abt doing actually require 3-5+yrs! in a field that i cant get into without experience i cant get!#and people talk abt how 'nobody wants to work' i am BEGGING you for a job. literally begging (cover letters).#im coming to the horrifying realization that its possible Nothing i have done w my entire life matters. i have nothing useful#i really feel like i made a mistake. that cant be the best five years of my life i wasnt even happy during most of them#i applied to six jobs weeks ago and ive heard back from one of them and it was a rejection. and theres nothing else to apply to#my degree isnt helping and all of my hobbies are useless. why am i only good at/passionate abt arts. why not math or smth instead#i should have just done ece like i was planning to instead of my honours. what was even the point#and im watching other people in my year get great jobs right out of university. watching my BROTHER get offered work on a silver platter#hes 19 and got five different offers + didnt apply people just asked him to work for them. second year in a row this has happened#hes never had to work for minimum wage. hes always had a good job in his field lined up anytime he wants to work and it always pays well#and i finished five years and ive had to beg for everything ive ever gotten and its still not enough to count for anything#im proud of him but fuck it stings a little#levi.txt#vent tw#oh right i forgot i should just walk in and shake the managers hand. /right/. and they will simply give me a job on the spot bc of this#if people whove been working the same job since before 1990 dont fucking stop giving me bad advice istfg#and these same people say nepotism isnt real and in the same breath talk abt giving their nephew a summer job at their company#literally all i want is work i can be decent at that i care abt and making a living wage. it doesnt have to be fun i dont want to be rich#i just want to do an ok job feel like my work matters and make enough to start my life. thats all
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↳ 𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐬 / 𝙎𝙐𝙕𝙐𝙆𝙄 𝙎𝙃𝙊𝙐.
#cleaned him up and made him peach coded real#THAT'S MY SON!!!!!!#ever since the official art came out im having 282637364 ideas abt summer festival .........#he wld have sm fun!!!!!!!!! cries forever#⤷ ✧・゚: peachy matters | edits.#⤷ ���・゚: 鈴木将 | visuals.
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cant believe people are upset barbie isnt the esoteric feminist essay they convinced themselves it was going to be
#instead its a skillfully crafted (and yes flawed) love letter to the innate beauty of the experience of being a human#as well as the HIGHLY complicated emotional connection that women have to BEING WOMEN#and that includes trans women too btw#barbie#barbie movie#everything and everyone is flawed for all time#but greta gerwig is a fantastic director who had an unbelievable vision#the fact that she managed to make a fun summer romp that also actually said some real things is amazing#im so grateful for the home movie scene it made me feel so painfully human in the most wonderful way
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#stuff#i stayed up til 6am last night finishing summer camp fic#gang this thing is 53.7k.#the last chapter needs to marinate for a little bit#and then ill probably have to go through and do a fulllllll reread which is gonna be fun lmao#and then uh. well. then i can post it#it's seventeen chapters lmaoooo we're gonna have a good time besties#oh god now i need to start figuring out the tags and all the chapter titles and everything#oh boy#anyway here's some basic info to tide you over: malum ensemble fic#and by ensemble fic i mean all of 5sos all of atl all of 1d#please bear in mind i started writing this fic three (!?!?!) years ago#at this point the characters in it are literally just characters#they bear absolutely no connection to their real life counterparts#including any. yknow. drama. coughs meaningfully#okay that's all im gonna split now#if anyone has thoughts about an update schedule for once i finally get this fic done for good im all ears#cuz if i post one chapter a week then ill be posting this fic for four months#which is a fucking wild amount of time to be posting a fic. if i do that then ill still b posting the fic when i go BACK to camp this summe#and that would be bonkers#anyway!!! bye!!!#ETA ive actually been writing this fic since may 2020 which means it's been almost FOUR years in the making. that. is. insane.
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things kind of suck today ngl
#in that mood where like I just want ppl to like talk to me#but the only plans I had today were my meeting w ppl im largely pissed off with & planning not to be around long term anyway#& I got some things done but didn’t have a lot of energy for the things that wld have been like Fun and expressive & made me feel better#so the summer icks r creeping in and making me feel like everyone is 2 days away from getting tired of me bc i cant produce enough#but things r like normal and fine there isn’t a real problem I can do anything about it’s just in my head#aaron says things
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im finally done with all my exams this was literally the most exhausting month/2 months of my fucking life. and i get one day off bc im doing something on literally every other day but that's gonna be fun im not complaining
#im finally gonna see my friends againnn my god#i literally only saw them during exams and i haven't seen my pre uni friends since summer it's DIRE#i have to squeeze visiting my sister and hanging out with 2 of them into one day coz otherwise it#literally wouldn't fit anywhere else MDMDKDMDNHD christ#and then on Wednesday.... heh😏#barking#my fucking god i need to fit 100000 years of sleep into today coz im lit rally gonna be busy as hell#it's so annoying coz I'm rly happy i finally get to hang out properly with everyone again#but at the same time im like why did you plan stuff when you could just sleep and relax:/#NO i literally miss them so much and I'd just be bored at home anyway#I'd have pretty much the whole month off but somehow i managed to cram it full of stuff and im#also traveling on Wednesday and wont be back til late February which im also kinda all over the#place about coz im so excited but im also like mad at myself for leaving instead of#enjoying being home alone with nothing to do finally but yk. I'd just be bored#also the month/2 months thing all but one of my exams was in the past 30 days but i#had an insane december too with like 50 assignments an exam sickness 3 birthdays christmas and#traveling to someone's house in a different city for half a week and like a bunch of other shit im forgetting#point is my fucking GOD I'm having fun but i need a fucking break for real I'm running myself into the ground#at least im done with these stupid Fucking exams and my average of seminar + lecture grades is#gonna be like 4.0 which is beyond perfect i thought I'd get like 2.5 lmfaooooo#(grades go from 1 to 5‚ 1 is fail 2 is pass 3 is satisfactory 4 is good 5 is excellent)#(like that's literally their official names that's not me calling them that djdnridjeidjdj)#i thought i just wouldn't study at all and skirt by with 3s and 4s like i usually do but i#actually got a lot of 5s im amazed. like genuinely who am i#anyway this is long lmao tldr sorry i haven't been on much im just constantly busy lmao😭#oh and also im not even going to meet my pre uni friends coz neither me or them have any fawking time
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I haven't drawn alot that's Postable™ by my standards the past few days bc I've mostly been doing boring nudes& posing practices but some stuff I forgot to post and a pose practice I liked enough to slap some paint on
#doodles#i need to do more life drawing than picture stuff i know i can do more dynamic stuff than this#its like. idk the frustration of being right on a breakthrough and not being able to pass it quite yet#the other frustrating thing is that like. ive done this beffore in high school and college#5 years of being too burnt out to touch a pen will do that to you#im also trying to do eyes different but i havent found a way im happy with yet#think im gonna download that flipnote-like(flipaclip?) bc my clip studio trails almost out and i know if i make myself#do simpler animation type stuff ill improve rapidly but also make nothing im happy with#but also i have to make stuff im happy with and have fun with bc im doing this FOR FUN ITS FOR FUN DUMMY#i really like Ratfrid's summer vacation outfit i know the worm didnt look like a wots but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#theros#dori has a son now which is very cute i think#koz was really fun to draw i should draw more elephants of the real or furry variety#motw#melissa#dori#npcs#ratfrid
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