#real straight town
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[She's a crooked Sheriff in a real straight town. She opened the door shake shake the lights go down. Clover honey and the Jimson Weed. Red leather skirt way up above her knees. Oh yeah, my baby's lowdown.]
#s23e14 holiday hoopla#guy fieri#guyfieri#diners drive-ins and dives#real straight town#red leather skirt#crooked sheriff#clover honey#jimson weed#door#lights#knees#baby#lowdown
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She spent her spring break studying the blade, while all the other white girls frolicked
She's a weeb samurai <3 Total cultural appropriation 😔
#white girl summer#samurai#doodle#caffe art#and one spicy doodle here#she's the kind of girl that after living as an expat samurai for half a decade would seek out other white people to brag about it#but her dedication to the blade is real#insufferable u ^ u#second doodle was her origin as my Wild Hearts character#everyone in that game goes... sugoi! that was amazing!#start with a japanese phrase and then finish with english for the rest of the sentence#and then she's the hero of the town#All that attention goes straight to her head#main character syndrome
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I think I might get into the thriller/mystery genre. I've always been a huge fantasy fan, but I've recently run into three problems.
I used to read fantasy books where Sapphic (I'd say 'lesbian' but let's be so fr) romance was the focal point/end game. However, they are often so damn disappointing and I'm honestly really tired of feeling that way. I love lesbian books but they're either actually bi books or like. Memoirs. Or, worse, depressing/don't end how I'd like.
I can't take straight romance seriously at all so that's a no go.
Fantasy without romance often doesn't catch my eye. I'm not saying I wouldn't enjoy such a book, but just that none have really jumped out to me as a must read.
It's been a while since I read anything, and I miss it quite a bit but I don't feel like the "well-written fantastical lesbian romance" genre is a long list (believe me, I looked) and straight romances are corny. I'd be willing to read a no-romance fantasy book but ones that suit me are so hard to find.
All that to say that I think I might like the mystery/thriller genre? I'm actually currently making my way through "the girl on the train" audiobook and I like it a fair amount. This may be the right direction to go in to get back into reading.
#I don't like straight romance but girl on the train had convinced me I like bitter straight divorce#Rachel is so toxic but so real#I know I shouldn't support the things she says about Anna but it's honestly so real#That bitterness is fr fr so true to life#I also think I could stomach straight romance after the character suffers intense heartbreak#I'd love to see Rachel tended to by a nice man who loves her and treats her well#THAT'S cute as hell#Tho it does often make me wish the characters were lesbians#I don't like the horror genre at all but I might really like thrillers and mysteries#I think I can get behind that shit#Strange towns with even stranger people?#That might be exactly what I need fr#I'm just musing BTW#Not really looking for anything by writing this. Just thinking
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Oh bitch
#my STUPID manager ghosted me about other jobs#when i first texted her early August she said she was out of town til the 15th#so i said ok and waited. and gave her a few extra days. and it was around the same time my grandpa died so i had other stuff going on#but last week i texted her again to remind her. like hellooooo are there any positions available at any other locations???#she just straight up did not answer me. so i was like fine 🫶 screw you too ig. now i have to start a real job search again#i went on indeed. searched bakery. the very first thing that came up. was a listing for HIRING MULTIPLE CANIDATES for a froster#for the OTHER LOCATION 25 MIN AWAY. BITCH ARE YOU KIDDING ME????????#she never fired me!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!#so ig now im gonna call that location tomorrow probably. oh my GOD#hopefully i wont need to interview?????? IM NOT FIRED??????
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also when are we gonna see ω-3 in game. when are we going to get to see my best friends The Valiant Green Flame Born in Jigokudani, The Faithful Servant of the True Salmon Emperor Hizunamasu, and of course my beloved The Firstborn Child of Alkyne, the Hidden Blade of Yakiharas? please let me see them.
#ghost town... 2!#splatoon#the hidden blade straight up had me hypnotized from Bait & Click (Mutation)#and because these fish are sadly not real: huge shoutout to Seigen Tokuzawa!!!! cellist of all time!!!! incredibly inspiring!!!!!
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2023 reads
Saint Juniper’s Folly
YA paranormal mystery
follows a foster kid returning to the small town he grew up in, who runs from the judgemental townspeople and ends up magically trapped in a mysterious house in the woods
a boy who lives a boring life in the town until he finds him, and wants to figure out how to save him
and the young witch from the town over who’s heard the woods calling since her mother died, and wants to help
m/m, friendship & investigating a mystery
#Saint Juniper’s Folly#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#this is….okay#writing is quite young - it feels like middle grade. would be fine bc i like middle grade but it's a bit at odds with the fact that#they’re 18 and talking about college soon and driving round in cars a lot#There’s very little ghosty or spookiness - it’s more just about the characters and their developing relationships#I felt like there were quite a few pivotal scenes missing? Like it skips from the kid being back in this town for the first time#to suddenly he’s stuck in this house in the woods. We don’t see him go out there; realise he’s stuck; or anything.#(unless libby skipped a chapter in my audiobook again?)#It also felt like it skipped any of them like testing the supernatural stuff? They go straight to researching the house’s history.#Once the end is revealed it makes sense I guess - but it’s like the because the author forgot to make the characters (who Don’t know)#do the first logical things you might do in a situation like that. idk.#the boys hating each other at the start felt manufactured for some hate to love thing instead of for any reason.....I didn't buy it#Also my pet peeve of: having a character call her dad by his first name! …….but it's an indication of their bad relationship. okay then.#(I know that is also a real experience but MAN sometimes people just do that it's not always a sign of emotional neglect!!!!)#Anyway - I didn’t hate it by any means; there’s just a few little things that didn't work for me
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pro: ran into a coworker at a bar last night who I don’t really talk to usually (he works upstairs, I work downstairs) and we talked and im pretty sure we were highkey flirting and he bought me a drink and the bar merch shirt i was interested in and thanks to the power of alcohol i guess i asked for his number and he gladly gave it to me and. yeah
con: i have the second worst hangover i have ever had and have been fighting for my fucking life just to eat saltines
#it’s getting better but only now that it’s like. 6pm#as weird as it sounds part of why this sucks is that I volunteered to come into work today cause there’s a concert going on nearby which#usually means we’re at least somewhat busy -> make better tips#and I couldn’t go in because well. you know#I’ve been sick and dying in bed all day unable to move or eat or anything#let alone take the bus and go to work#but. as much as I wish I didn’t go this overboard I don’t totally regret last night cause.#yeah. potential thing going on with cute coworker guy. OH and potential job opportunity at my favorite bar in town#apparently said coworker Also has a job at the bar in addition to where we both work and the bar is hiring barbacks at entry-level#so I have someone to vouch for me and the bartender we were talking to seemed to really want me to apply too#one thing that’s kinda funny to me about all this is that the first two places (a bar then a club) we were at felt really mid because they#were packed with way too many straight people (at a gay bar and a gay club)#but the bar we ended up at (where we ALWAYS end up at. it is the oasis. it is the only thing I can rely on) felt. like. not overwhelmingly#straight? at all? I mean part of it’s just luck in a way with just who happened to be there and all that but it’s also that the staff seem#pretty significantly populated with queer ppl#I complained to the bartender about how the club we were at (one of the biggest gay clubs in the city- if not The biggest) just felt kinda#meh because yeah maybe there were some guys dancing in jockstraps and whatever but the crowd itself like. did not feel largely queer#or at least didn’t have the spirit I’d hope for in a queer space if that makes sense. felt very conventional. not enough wild outfits and#makeup and gender fuckery and so on#and the bartender was like dude I KNOW right? I went off outside there once about the invasion of cishets when this space isn’t FOR them#and so on and so forth. and god that was So real.#so the experience at my beloved bar last night was like. 1) guy comes up behind me just to order a drink but i was saving a seat for my#friend who was in the bathroom and mentioned that in case he was looking to take the seat. chatted a little. ended with him pointing out#that a guy nearby was trying to holla at me.#2) I look over and yes. the dj is. in fact. looking directly at me and mouthing the lyrics to whatever song was playing pointed my way.#it was pretty sweet honestly I think it was partly cause I looked like I was shy and alone#3) whatever gay shit was going on with my coworker and i. amusingly he seems to get more flamboyant when he drinks just like i do.#im not 100% sure what his sexuality is but i Am 100% sure it is Not straight. but yeah. if it hadn’t been so close to closing time ive been#hardcore wondering where that would’ve gone. maybe its for the best that i had to go when i did cause i was pretty drunk and who knows when#I could’ve hit the amount of drunk it takes to like outright say hey just so you know i’d suck your dick right now if you wanted
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i really want to start making a table collecting statistics on the audience demographics i'll perform my aubrey material for (like what generation most of the audience is, whether i'm performing in a predominantly queer space, etc.) and how well the jokes land bc like. i need to collect more data points before i can properly present my findings but the results so far have been fascinating
#again i do not have enough performance experiences to make any definitive claims about who ''aubery's audience'' is#but i find it funny that any time i show my aubrey material one-on-one to a queer gen z person#they're always like ''i love it but straight people will definitely hate it or not get it''#and i get the inclination to be like. ''i like this thing so people like me will like this thing''#and cishet society seems so polarized w/r/t queer topics it's like. the assumption makes sense#however. whenever i've done an aubrey performance in front of an audience that's predominantly queer and gen z#i've actually received a primarily negative response!! and somehow straight people have never given me shit for my aubrey material#(''well straight allys don't count'' i told some of my aubrey jokes to a joe rogan dudebro and he enjoyed them)#(which yeah maybe could be a mark against my comedy but i like to think i opened his mind a bit at the very least)#i really want to test my aubrey monologues in front of a primarily gen x/boomer audience#bc so far i only have actual performance experience in front of gen z or millennials#and the older people i've told jokes to individually or shown videos of my stuff have really liked it#luckily paul has said a goal for when i'm in town this summer is to get me to perform my aubrey stuff in as many different places as possib#for both queer audiences and non-queer audiences so i can gauge reactions since i don't want to be confined to one demographic#so i'll get a lot of data points this summer#@ paul get me a performing slot at senior citizen pride lmao these are my people#(shoutout to paul going ''jess stop collecting the old homos!'' last time i was in town)#(and when i imitated him and was like ''old gay men are not your pokemon!'' bellini was like ''ok but they may be your audience'')#also one data point i really want to see the variation on is how my one specific joke plays in these different demographics#bc i have a joke that like. it's literally not even about AIDS and doesn't punch down at all#i literally say ''if you're gay and over the age of 50 you could violate the geneva convention and i'd still be like support our troops''#like obviously being like ''you have been through hell so i will let you get away with literal war crimes you deserve ultimate immunity''#BUT. in the line right before the quote i use the phrase ''AIDS generation'' not as a derogatory term but being like.#this horrible thing impacted the entire generation y'know? and bellini and scott and their friends call themselves that it's just the term#but when i said the phrase ''AIDS generation'' in front of my gen z audience i heard gasps and felt like they all hated me#and when i did the same line in front of millennials it wasn't quite as striking but their eyes did widen#like i was suddenly an ''edgy comedian''. but like this is a part of our history and it does inform the story i'm telling#the story i'm telling is comedic but it's grounded in this real world context#and i'm like. @ the audience who was offended: when was the last time any of y'all spoke to a gay man over the age of 50#bc bellini loves that section of the monologue and was offended that people would even take offense to that phrase
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Man I can't believe I had the chance to go to a performing arts school up through middle school and I fuckin quit after 6 months just because I got bullied. BRO YOUR HOMEWORK WAS POETRY!! YOU HAD TO PRACTICE DANCING TO COTTON EYE JOE AS YOUR BIG UNIT TEST. GYM CLASS HAD A CIRCUS UNIT!! YOU HAD A WHOLE DAILY CLASS ON IMPROV!!! YOU FOOL!! YOU ABSOLUTE IMBICILE!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A YOUTUBER!!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE TWEENAGERS GETTING LOADED BY MAKING SHITTY YOUTUBE SHORTS IN 2008-14!! But noooOoooOOOoo little miss Noellie (who WANTED TO GO!! who worked SO HARD and sent in an application essay and did an INTERVIEW to get in!!) couldn't handle disruptive classmates or little scuffles and petty grudges and general Attitude of the other students and cried to mommy to put her back in public school. I am EATING MY HAIR over what Could Have Been. I COULD BE SOMEONE'S ANNOYING YOUTUBER!! I could be a DISGRACED DISNEY CHANNEL STAR!! I could be an America's Got Talent winner! A mild to moderately successful comedian! I could be making short films!! But no no no precious thin skinned baby me heard a few new cus words and watched a teacher get heckled and begged to give up The Dream in favor of?? Quiet math tests?? I am such a fucking quitter I quit everything the second it gets too hard I always take the out as soon as it's offered what's my fucking damage.....
#I had SO MUCH POTENTIAL and I SQUANDERED IT!! weak ass third grade PUSSY! Your life could have been SO SICK!!#or you could at least be addicted to cocain or something interesting like that!! Boring ass goody two shoes always just staying home doing#NOTHING bitch make a REAL FRIEND go to a God Damn PARTY live a little instead of just hiding in the closet eating saltine crackers for years#waiting for it to be quiet outside before you ever even toed the line#mentally ill self-isolating motherfucker#you could have shrugged it off you could have GROWN A PAIR and FOUGHT BACK but you just ran and cried for mommy#victim complex little bitch baby always whining and exaggerating and making shit up fucking LIAR I am you and I KNOW what you did and I know#you knew it wasn't the truth and you regretted it the moment it came out of uour mouth but once you'd said it you just swallowed it back and#doubled down incriminating or discrediting others with your lies. For why? Because you didn't like them? You could have ruined someone's#life you wouldn't have hesitated mayhe you did and don't even remember because you cant keep your mouth shut with your pants ablaze#manipulative little shit and to WHAT END? Pity? Sympathy? Attention? Entertainment?? What was even going on in your stupid ugly head?#This is a callout post for my third grade self that possessed demon ass evil nine year old. That kid drowned anthills in olive oil and#poisoned a wild animal once. That kid cut plants just to see if they oozed. That kid modified her whole ass personality on a dime for a boy#she had a crush on. INSTANTLY dropped a LIFELONG CULTURAL ALLEGIANCE (thats what football teams were like back then in our town) because he#said he had the opposite allegiance??? What the fuck? girl had NO integrity none zip zilch.#No empthy either that kid looked at everyone else on earth like they were friggin space aliens and she was the only one with Real feelings.#bitch literally thought like 'I have Feelings they just have Reactions' bitch what the fuckkkkk#that nine year old was fucked the hell up!!!#and for literally NO REASON!! No cause!! Just born fucking evil and weird. jesus fuck.#Evil ass bitch caused her autistic brother months of nightmares and then laughed about it and wrote poetry about how evil he was because he?#was a kid??? Normal sibling rivalry taken way way way too far defamatory ass statements#and this girl had NO CONSEQUENCES because she could lie and manipulate her way out of ANYTHING she had the baby eyes and the helpless charm#and played dumb soooo well . read people like some calculative evil AI scanning their faces for microexpressions and overanalyzing each word#choice like holy shit. its not That Deep. pretentious shit trying to play 5D chess on a checkers board.#Manipulating shit just to see what happens?? zero awareness?? no asking just skipping straight to testing for yourself??#'What happens if I step on this' it fucking breaks 'what does that taste like?' it's not fucking yours to mess with 'if I hit this person#how will they respond?' they'll be upset use your goddamn judgement you are NINE not TWO do you even care a little about any other person??#Are you just living in some other reality???#callout post for the fucking demon child inside of me#im so goddamn problematic I'm so so so deeply mentally disturbed and broken for no reason
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@ all uquiz makers planning on asking me what my “ideal home” would look like. if you want a true actual answer out of me, this is going to have to be on the list
#i love venice and its islands because they’re everything i love about the netherlands but x10000000000000#i took a picture of burano and it looks straight up like a picture i could have taken in the town i grew up with just with 3000% more colour#and a different style of architecture#but the vibe of like canal + row houses + random little alleys + small boat + random church spire is like every single dutch town also#and venice itself is just canals but MORE#alleyways but MORE#densely built but MORE#bridges but MORE#church spires peaking in and out of view but MORE#constant risk of flooding but MORE#museums and art and old shit everywhere but MORE#looks like a perfect picture storybook place like real people get to live here?? sounds fake but MORE!!!
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being a guy who was scared so bad of redeads in ocarina of time that I still have leftover residual fear of them and couldn't beat that game till I was 18. I am IMMENSELY thrilled that they were (technically) brought back in totk. but I have to say. a little disappointed. they got immensely nerfed which is kinda fucked up. a defining characteristic of the redeads across all zelda media is the blood curdling shriek that paralyses you, while they slowly inch closer and closer... and that's just gone? they make some kind of fucked up squeaking when they die but that's about it. they don't even try to strangle you in the most upsetting way possible anymore they just kinda weakly bat at you. disappointing.
#I say technically bc they're gibdos not redeads but in ocarina/majora at least theyre just straight up the same thing#their designs in this game take after oots redeads more too#idk. glad they're back at least. them invading gerudo town is mad fucked up#espeon cries#zelda spoilers#why is there a WINGED variant is the real question. what in the FUCK
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“i catch the stool with telekinesis”
imogen temult disciple club
#fuck yes. fuck yes#i love her so much#‘i have nothing to hide’; walking straight through the town; flying onto the sky ship. would die for her for real#cr spoilers#critical role
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i'm in the wrong fuckin crowd.
#this town is just not for me lol.#i think there's a reason all the gay people leave#u just can't survive here! this place like crushes the gay spirit. i feel ashamed of everything + i feel like i'm supposed 2 be available 2#all the guys here. i'm just depressed lol. also i feel like everyone is straight pretty or expected 2 be. i saw a woman in a tee shirt#hefting a beer keg up the steps of a liquor store a few weeks ago + was like 'holy shit. most beautiful person i've ever seen. thought all#the real people left..'#where r all the real people though... like where r they living. i gotta get out of here#also wtf. how dare people shame me for being real lol??? boring-ass cowards. all need something 2 talk about huh! if i wasn't here#what would bind u + your besties together? stop being so fucking afraid. wtf do u think life is??#like is everyone so afraid of having to answer the questions they ask themselves??#bury ur head in the sand. whatever. you'll die like the rest of us.
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Trying to fall back asleep while thinking about how I want to drive Levi around my town for the first time
#is it better to go down the highway first so you get a feel for where things are and what there is in town or should I go straight across at#the first light and do all my favorite backroads and go around the lake and then do a full lap around the lake and then go down the highway#(it’s not like real scary highway but it is like three or four lanes)#and go left at Home Depot Dunkin’s pot store past Office Depot (wave sadly at where I used to work) then go backroads behind Walmart back#home hmmmm I think that’s the move is to go around the lake first and then come back thru#I might go drive around for fun today and try to map out the best route in my brain actually#none of this will make any since to anyone else
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Spoilers for Arcane Academy utc
Ghost!Mage duking it out with Ghost!August for a couple hundred years before falling in love with him again like that first day in the Arcane Academy >>>>
Ghost!Mage x Ghost!August friends to enemies to lovers 300k
#hollow va#asmr#august blackreach#arcane academy#(I know the picture is not really super related to the idea but it's what I got inspiration for this post from)#August straight up killed mage they gonna need a few centuries to process that before they can love him again lol#God the comedy potential tho#Both of them just standing (floating?) there after mage finally dies and looking at each other awkwardly like#bro if you just stopped the dark magic ritual asked me out I would've said yes#really didn't have to get us both killed and trapped in this cursed town for eternity#now we've only got a couple of places to go to on our ghost dates#it's gonna get real boring after the first few decades you know
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gay construction man is living his best life in lurelin village with new partner, the village head <3 old gays get a happy ending <3<3
#i only remembered him as the construction man so i rushed over to tarrey town expecting him and ):):#who is this straight man in a bowl cut i miss the REAL construction man in a lepard stole and a jaunty pink headband </3#totk#totk spoilers
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