#real Swiss cheese is the best cheese

[rabbitcruiser]

National Cheese Day

June 4 is National Cheese Day. Not to be confused with other popular cheese related holidays like grilled cheese day, cheesecake day, or mac and cheese day. This day is in reverence of the queen of all dairy, the big cheese.

When is National Cheese Day 2024?

Cheese and its many varieties are celebrated on National Cheese Day on June 4.

History of National Cheese Day

Cheese making is an ancient, some might even say sacred, craft. So ancient in fact it predates recorded history. It is speculated that the magic of cheese making began somewhere around 8000BCE shortly after the domestication of animals. Archeological digs have found evidence of cheese around the world including strainers coated in milk-fat molecules in Kuyavia, Poland dated around 5500BCE, murals in Egypt dated at 2000BCE, and an artifact of preserved cheese in Xinjiang, China believed to be more than 3,000 years old! European Imperialism took their styles of cheese through Asia, sub saharan Africa, and eventually to the Americas.

The most popular cheese of all is (obviously) mozzarella. This delicious and pizza topping cheese was first created near Naples from the rich milk of water buffalos. At the time, it rarely left its home near Naples, as it was made from pasteurized milk, and a lack of refrigeration meant it had a very short shelf life. As both cheese technology and refrigeration systems advanced, this delicious cheese left the southern region of Italy and found itself traveling around the world.

There are two types of mozzarella produced within the United States — low moisture and high moisture. Low moisture mozzarella has a moisture content less than 50% while high moisture has a content of over 52%. Low moisture is made specifically for transportation and mass production as the lack of moisture gives it a longer shelf life.

Today, cheese dishes can be found on every continent served savory, sweet, melted, deep fried, and even chilled in ice cream. This household staple can still satisfy any craving after thousands of years.

National Cheese Day timeline

1815 Industrial Revolution

First large scale industrial cheese production begins in Switzerland.

1851 Mass production

Jesse Williams, a farmer, is credited with being the first to have an assembly-line of cheese production in Rome, New York.

1939-1945 Goodbye Mom and Pop

Factory made cheese surpasses the production numbers of traditional farm raised cheeses during World War II.

1982 Mama Mia

The Mozzarella Company was founded in Dallas to bring fresh Mozzarella to America.

By The Numbers

4% – the percentage of all cheese being sold that ends up stolen. 1,400 pounds – the weight of a block of cheddar cheese delivered to the White House once by President Andrew Jackson. 2 – the hours it took for 10,000 visitors to the White House to finish the block of cheddar cheese. 17th century – the period in which they started dyeing cheese orange to fool people into thinking it was higher quality. ½ – of the total cheese consumption in the world is of Gouda cheese. 1,000 – the estimated number of different French cheeses. 1615 B.C. – the year when the oldest known cheese was discovered in China.

National Cheese Day Activities

Charcuterie

Take a cooking class

Cook something

Make a spread of some of your favorite cheeses to enjoy solo or with friends. Try working in new and international varieties you’ve never tried before. Check out Pinterest for ideas on the best meat, wine, and veggie pairings.

You may be surprised how many cheese themed educational experiences there are. Learn how to make your own cheese at home, the perfect drink and food pairings, or discover a new cheesy dish. With workshops, in person classes, and free online tutorials there are a lot of ways you can learn to enjoy this ancient culinary staple.

Whether traditional comfort food like mac n cheese, the tangy sweetness of cheesecake, or the contemporary refinement of stuffed pull apart bread there are countless cheese recipes to try. Why not try a new twist on a family recipe or search the internet for the latest cheese trend. You can start simple with a five ingredient ricotta cheese recipe.

5 FACTS ABOUT CHEESE THAT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND

It’s vegan!

Americans cut the cheese

Don’t forget the stomach

Medieval curds

Cheesy Moon

Okay, not really, but dairy free cheese is definitely having a renaissance. Food experimentation has come a long way in recent decades offering up many plant based cheese alternatives you can find at major grocery retailers or your local vegan butcher shop (if you’re lucky enough to have one).

Contrary to popular assumption the U.S., not Europe, is the biggest producer of cheese, making up 29% of the global market. In order the top producing countries are the United States, Germany, France, and Italy.

Rennet is curdled milk and complex enzymes found in the fourth stomach of unweaned calves and is often added in the cheese making process, as it is considered to make a bolder, richer quality product.

The most popular types of cheeses of today like gouda, cheddar, parmesan, and camembert, all came in vogue during or after the Middle Ages.

The long standing myth that the moon is made out of cheese may stem from “The Proverbs of John Heywood” back in 1546 which stated "the moon is made of a green cheese." We now understand this to be more metaphor than literal, with “green” referring to the freshness or un-aged nature of the moon.

Why We Love National Cheese Day

Expanding our Palate

New cultural experiences

Sharing and bonding

We love taking our taste buds on new adventures! Today can be about trying so much more than cheese. Wine, beer, meats, veggies, deserts… all of it is up for grabs and we can’t wait.

As an international food staple, National Cheese Day opens the door to a variety of new cultural experiences. We love being able to explore new dishes, cultures, and traditions.

We love breaking cheesy bread and making new memories with the ones we love.

Source

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for "yelling" at my teenage sister for putting earrings through the ears of my childhood stuffed animal?

🤬🐘 <- cause that was me holding them when I found out lmao

So I (22 two spirit, I was 20 when this happened) have had Ellie (Ive used He/she/they for Ellie my whole life, they never had a set gender), a stuffed realtively realistic elephant, since I was at least 3 years old. He was a plush of big Al, the elephant mascot for crimson Tide of the university of Alabama. (Roll tide?) that my dad owned but eventually it was cuddled by 3 yr old me and dragged to my room and out of his man cave (which I don't know why he had a big al plush, we're from Ohio) never to return. I think she had a jersey or hat or something at some point but she doesn't now. Considering just how cuddled Ellie was, it's a miracle how good her condition is. No rips, tears, bald patches or holes beyond the plasticy coating on one of his tusks ripping off in a few places. I wasn't super violent with my toys and never drew on them or ripped them up. The most I did was put hair ties around her ears so they'd look like pigtails.

I've had Ellie a very very long time obviously and he means a lot to me. I very rarely cuddle him now because I want him to stay in that good condition. Well, when I was 19, I moved to Maryland to be with my partner and Ellie went with me obviously. 3 or 4 times a year, me and my partner make the trip to Ohio to visit my family, about 8 hrs away. I bring Ellie because she comforts me when we're there (Alot of traumatic memories are wrapped up in childhood home). Well, one time Ellie got left behind and I was devastated. It was gonna be at least 3 months till I went back and even though my mom offered to send ellie through the mail, i was not willing to take the chance that ellie could get lost forever in said mail so i waited.

Here's the part where I mention I have a younger sister who was 14 at the time. we have a good, if not distant relationship that is a much better place now. Here's where the problem occurred. I returned home after about 3 months after accidentally leaving ellie and immediately wanted to find him once I arrived. My mom told me my sister had been watching them while I was away so I went to her room. My sister then excitedly held up Ellie to me... Ellie's big ears were absolutely littered with my sister's (real) earrings. There had to of been at least 150 piercings in her ears, if not 200. I held myself together as best I could and very sternly told her I was pissed she'd do that, she knew how much Ellie meant to me and she should never treat other people's things that way.

I make a very strong point to never insult, scream or yell or not explain why I'm angry at someone. If I get so angry I can't handle my composure, I leave and gather myself then come back. I never insulted my sister or raised my voice but I definitely hammered how disrespectful and destructive this was to something that wasn't hers as I took out her earrings one by one. My childhood stuffie did not deserve to be turned into Swiss cheese and used as an earring display. If I had done anything like that to her stuffed giraffe, her stuffie, she'd have a cow. Once they were all out I took Ellie and went to my room. Luckily, they were normal sized earrings so the holes were very small and I can't see them if I don't look for them but it felt so disrespectful.

My sister apologized pretty quickly but my mom said I didn't have to yell at her (I never raised my voice but I was clearly hiding an angry one trying to explain to her) nor should I have said it 5 times in the moment (shes exaggerating). I'll admit I repeat myself twice or thrice in the moment as a way to keep myself from raising my voice or stewing in it if I feel like i haven't properly expressed my anger or I feel like the person wasn't listening. Everything is cool now and we dont really talk about it (it's not taboo or too painful to touch, it just doesn't come up) but I wonder if I over reacted considering the holes are tiny, not super visible and I don't think my sister did it to spite me or hurt Ellie, she was just young and dumb and didn't think about how it could mess up Ellie. Should I have held my tounge since shes my sister? She was only 14 but I feel like you should know earrings can cause damage to fabric when you're 14, there's no way she didn't know that wouldn't leave tiny holes in Ellie. I just think she didn't think of them as a big deal.

What are these acronyms?

[thesupreme316]

its me again 🤪 i was wondering if you could do aew boys reaction to you getting attacked by your tag team partner exp: you guys lost a tag match and you partner attacks you i hope i explained well🫶🏼🩷

I GOTCHUUUU

AEW Stars React to: You Being Attacked By Your Tag Partner

Pairings: Hook X Reader, Eddie Kingston X Reader, Daniel Garcia X Reader, Darius Martin X Reader, Kenny Omega X Reader, MJF X Reader, Ricky Starks X Reader

Word Count: 1K

Supreme Speaks: thanks to @cassiesworldsworld for requesting (keep em coming)! Reader is gender-neutral in this. nothing else...I hope you all are doing well and please remember that you are loved and appreciated

Warnings: Nun, barely proofread, GIFS ARE NOT MINE

Taglist: @cassiesworldsworld @hooks-martin @hookerforhook @wwenhlimagines @triscillal @sheinthatfandom @eddie-kingstons-wifey

Okay, I have 3 options for this (Reader is gender-neutral applicable to anyone; your partner is of your choosing):

Either you lose via roll-up and are attacked immediately after the match (Bayley attacks Sasha Banks)

After the match, you were attacked by your tag partner who joins the enemy (Luchasaurus attacks Jungle Boy and joins with Christian Cage)

Y’all lost the match, get a standing ovation, and your partner attacks you after you guys hug (Tommaso Ciampa attacks Johnny Gargano)

Bottomline is you were attacked and now your significant other/best friend is angry

Hook

Mans is big mad; like big big mad

You thought he was trying to whip Jack’s ass? Wait until he sees you get attacked

Man will jump over your body real quick to try to punch your former tag partner (if they are a male)

^^might get a heart attack to be honest from him leaping

Will immediately carry backstage as your former tag partner runs to the back

Is simmering with anger as you try to convince you’re okay

“I’m happy that you’re okay. I just really wanna kill that son of a bitch”

Does not take this matter lightly, especially after Jack betraying him

If you wanna get your lick back, just let him and he’ll take care of everything

Ricky Starks

Just like Hook, he would take this shit so seriously (cause of Hobbs betraying him)

But also I feel like he would understand the former partner’s stance as he betrayed Brian Cage (ew)

Will comfort you as you have multiple emotions running through your mind

“They’re missing out on a friendship with a bombass, beautiful, fierce, strong, athletic, and great person….and you too.”

I think he would be the type to transform you (ring gear, style, promos) so you can show your former partner that you’re simply better (nail emoji)

Like I’m talking early 2000s movie montage

Ricky would definitely help you plan your revenge

Overall, I believe this man would help you get back on your feet

Darius Martin

His heart would break for you and would be the one to sprint out to help you out of the ring and up the ramp

Darius is a very loyal person as he frequently rotates between AR Fox, Matt Sydal, his brother, and Action Andretti for tag partner

Will always offer a place on his team for you

“You know you always got me and the boys.”

Will take his thoughts to Twitter just to shit on them

I also think Darius will make it his mission to make sure that you were well taken care of; advises you to choose peace before violence

But if too much violence takes place; he’s walking out with a steel chair and zero fucks to give

Eddie Kingston

THIS MAN??? HE DOESNT CARE WHO THEY ARE; THEY’RE GETTING THEIR ASS CHEWED UP, SPAT OUT, AND BEAT TF UP

Will again blame Claudio, Bryan, and Punk for everything (don’t let him find out they joined BCC)

I think he would take this more personally than you, especially if they joined with his enemies

“FUCK THAT LOW DOWN, SLIMY, SWISS CHEESE BITCH! AND BRYAN TOO, THAT TECHNICAL ASS BITCH! I’ll stab them dawg don’t worry”

Eddie is the type to ride or die for his people; so he is one of the first people to stand with you against the traitor

Is absolutely down for revenge or crazy plans

“I still got that gasoline can if you need dawg.”

Daniel Garcia

Will immediately offer you a place in JAS (like I always say, PLEASE say NO)

But also with the way JAS is right now, he would take time to team with you; so he can also find peace

Will be smug toward your former teammate

“Listen here, Y/N is a talented person and you’re gonna wish you didn’t cross them.” Dances away

Like stated earlier, I think he would take this time to fully understand his position with his own teammates

Daniel would be your #1 cheerleader on Twitter and tag them in various posts shitting on them (like Darius)

Will give you advice on how to carry on and will try to convince you to be a sports entertainer

MJF

THIS MOTHERFUCKER

Always had a feeling that it was coming, but he wouldn’t tell you and is angry with the entire situation

Has to keep in character on Twitter:

“Look, I understand that Y/N loses a lot, isn’t as good as me, and has terrible taste in tag partners but that doesn’t mean you had to dump em!”

Will lecture about how you shouldn’t really trust anyone but yourself in the business, but empathizes with you (if he can) about having friends and supportive people

Like Daniel, might take this time to reflect

Will devise a revenge plan that involves sabotaging your former tag partner’s plans/goals

“Babe, I’m the devil. I can make anything happen.”

Kenny Omega

Like most people on this list, Kenny has experienced being on both sides of this situation; so he completely understands the feelings involved

Will offer you a spot in the Elite (that can go either way)

I think because of the fact that he has a lot going on with himself, he would let you do whatever you want

Is more emotional support than physical support at the moment

Will help further the storyline of your revenge and character development on BTE

Outta all the people on this list, he would give you the best advice

“I think you need to take some time for yourself and see what is in the future for you…and if the answer is revenge, make sure you have money aside for bail…for me.”

[whyse7vn]

DOWN BAD -

[ ot7 x reader ]

JOON4PRESIDENT

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

y/n: hi

tae: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

y/n: ?

tae: holy fuck ur so fucking funny😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭☠️😭

jimin: i BEG you let that man hit

at this point it’s embarrassing

tae: pls

jk: i think ur funny too

namjoon: shame is free

tae: idk what that’s supposed to mean

jk: it means shame is free i think

y/n: is that why you’ve been at my house for the last 2 weeks??

cuz you wanna hit??

yoongi: 2 weeks??

jin: down so fucking bad

jk: i thought tae was here cuz he missed us?

tae: I AM I SWAER

but if y/n let me hit in the time i was here i wouldn’t be mad

y/n: ur sick

hobi: why have you let tae stay in ur house for 2 weeks?

y/n: he FORCED his way in here

tae: not true jungkook willingly let me in

jin: jungkooks not even a real person so that doesn’t count

jk: i’m real

i think

jimin: i’m telling you he needed that 100k for rent

yoongi: taehyung homeless era

tae: I HAVE A HOME

y/n: ur not acting like it

tae: home is where the heart is

and my hearts with you bbg

y/n: leave

jk: am i real?

tae: are you a construction worker?

jk: no

tae: cuz ur a building

namjoon: what?

tae: 😉

@y/n

not you namjoon or jungkook

y/n: it’s hard

the life i live

hobi: hard like a criminal hard like the beat

tae: my rizz is out of this world it’s actually insane

jimin: do you know what rizz means?

bcs you can’t be fr

jk: isn’t rizz a type of cheese?

yoongi: this is my competition…

y/n: ur thinking of swiss cheese kook

jk: I AM

how did you know that??

y/n: can one of you guys come a get tae from us pls im begging you

jimin: i can’t read sorry

jin: i’m literally blind

hobi: 🫣

y/n: i fear his stupidness is rubbing off on jungkook

yoongi: i think he’s just naturally dumb as hell

jk: who

yoongi: see

y/n: plS my biggest fear in this life is waking up to furry jk

tae: ummm

that would have nothing to do with my influence

yoongi: call animal control maybe they’ll help you with tae?

tae: ??????

y/n: NAMJOON PLS UR MY ONLY HOPE PLS PLS PLS

namjoon: i’m not here

tae: CAN SOMONE DEFEND ME LIKE OMG???

jUNGKOOK TELL HER HER GREAT I AM

jk: he’s great

tae: UR NO HELP FUCK U

i’m gonna kill myself in front of you all in the most horrific way and change ur lives forever and NO amount of therapy will help you forget or move on

jk: ok i’m ready

tae: i’m leaving

y/n: god bless 🙏🏽

tae: ur obsessed with me get help

i hate you all

losers

gosh

fucking bitches the LOT of you

L

AWOOOOOOO

lone wolf era

jimin: what the fuck

namjoon: are you done?

tae: yeah :/

y/n: do you feel better now??

tae: as better as i can be in a situation like this :/

hobi: what situation?

tae: wdym?

jin: he has to be brain dead or something

tae: right hoseok stupid as hell

jk: i think jimin is talking about you bro

tae: jungkook ur young i wouldn’t expect you to understand

jk: ur right

y/n: they changed the korean age system isnt that crazy

jin: DON’T TALK ABOUT AGE

jimin: it’s a sensitive topic for him cuz he’s still old no matter what

namjoon: please

jk: i’m 25

jin: IDC SHUT UP

y/n: yikes

hobi: jungkook has been 25 for like 10 years

jk: that’s not true that makes no sense

hobi are you bad at maths?

hobi: don’t speak to me

tae: jimin you smell the best in the group

y/n: why are you smelling people?

hobi: furry

tae: after the loml ofc

jk: jennie?

tae: SHUT UP

jk: did you break up again???

tae: KICK HIM KICK HIMMM

jimin: what do i smell like?

tae: like vanilla i love it soOOOO much

it’s like a sweet vanilla but not so strong it overpowers ur senses it’s just right

i could eat you

jimin: i wish bitches i wanted said shit like this

but it’s just you

thx ig

tae: ???????

jin: that’s frfr creepy as hell tbh

why is he actually sniffing people is that not insane

jimin: don’t be mad you don’t smell like sweet vanilla

jin: i’m actually glad

look at what ur attracting

hobi: furries

jin: right

tae: 𝖘𝖍𝖚𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖋𝖚𝖈𝖐 𝖚𝖕

jk: WOAH

CALM DOWN TAE CALM DOWN TAE ITS OKAY ITS JUST US 😰😨😭

jimin: again what the actual fuck

tae: ur right i’m sorry i didn’t mean to get like that guys

jk: it’s okay

namjoon: they’re actually insane oh my god

y/n: i have seen a real decline in jungkooks mental state since the arrival of tae at our home

yoongi: again i think that’s just jungkook

y/n: no i know jungkook

jk: yeah she knows me

i know her

we have a connection you wouldn’t understand yoongi

y/n: and i know for a FACT he’s not that dumb

hobi: dumb dumb

jk: right i’m not that dumb

tae: WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY RN???

jk: wait

namjoon: tae go back to therapy

jimim: begging you

jin: awoman🙏🏻

tae: NO

I TOLD YOU LAST TIME

SHE LAUGHED AT ME

THE THERAPIST

I WONT I WONT I WONT

you can’t make me

it’s a free world

jk: you can buy the world??

yoongi: what do people see in you?

jk: whom?

y/n: LMAOOOO

namjoon: jungkook are you high rn?

jk: am i what?

namjoon: high

jk: hello

work on ur spelling joon

jimin: who tf is supplying him with this shit

jin: bet it was tae

tae: NO LOL

LOL

LOL

yoongi: so it was tae

y/n: HAVE YOU BEEN GETTING JUNGKOOK HIGH THESE LAST 2 WEEKS TAE???????

namjoon: this explains a lot

hobi: this is why he’s been messaging shit to my phone at like 2 in the morning

crazy

jk: who

tae: NO

LOL

y/n: HOW HAVE I NOT NOTICED???

jimin: right you dumb as hell tbh

namjoon: does it not smell??

jin: namjoon drug expert

tae: MAYBE HES BEEN TAKING EDIBLES

FROM SOMEONE WHEN YOU GO TO SLEEP???

LOL

yoongi: why are you giving ur self away like that

you really are stupid

jk: yeah stupid

yoongi: don’t ever agree with me again

jk: in y/ns bed rn

hobi: fight fight fight

yoongi: been there multiple times

jk: um ur lying

im here every night

i haven’t run into you in the last 4 months

tae: DONR TELL ME YOU LET JUNGKOOK HIT BEFOR ME OH MY GOD I CANT BREATHE RNNNNNNNNNNN

LIKE JUNGKOOK

ARE YOU FR .:’sk

omGGGH

NOOOSODODOD

jk: i’ve never hit a woman in my life

it’s not right pls don’t hit y/n

y/n: he comes to cuddle sometimes

yoongi: he does?

jk: everyday actually

she’s lying

jin: i’m gonna kill 14 puppies in-front of taehyung and see what happens

tae: why me

jin: you’re n need of a personality change

tae: i’m fine the way i am??

love urself and others will love you for you

we made a whole album about it?

jin: i’m not loving you for you tbh

and a LOT of people would say the same

tae: you guys are lucky i’m not sensitive

y/n: i’ve always been a lucky girly

hobi: you literally live with jungkook?

jk: yes?

hobi: nothing

jk: if you remember lmk ^^

tae: y/n do you have ugly man syndrome or something?

y/n: ??

tae: idk you just seem to enjoy being friendly with ugly men

y/n: never once have i said i’ve enjoyed ur company

tae: ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY IM THE UGLY MAN??

y/n: you said it not me…

tae: anything jungkook can do i 110% do it better

unless it’s lack common sense

i’m pretty full of common sense

jimin: that’s actually not true

y/n: maybe that’s what gets jungkook cuddles?

jk: when?

yoongi: being stupid?

y/n: yeah maybe he’s a loser and i find it endearing

yoongi: lol

hobi: me when i’m jealous

tae: IM ACTUALLY THE BIGGESt LOSER AROUND

TELL HER GUYS

namjoon: the biggest!

jimin: HE SOOOOOO DUMB ITS CRAZY

hobi: i feel the need to kick him every time i see him type of loser

jin: he’s such a loser actually i still bully him to this day

tae: not too much now

hobi: okay i can’t do this anymore let’s address the elephant in the room

jimin: namjoon…

namjoon: wtf?

y/n: don’t be mean

jk: are you guys in all in a room without me?

tae: u-um >.<

jin: did he just stutter through text?

y/n: pls stop

jk: where is the elephant??

jin: jungkook go to bed or something ur pissing me off now

jk: sleep well jin

namjoon: gn jin

jin: don’t feed into his shit namjoon

jk: y/n are you with the elephant?

yoongi: y/N aRe yOu wItH tHE eLepHaNt

jimin: what the beef omg?

tae: what is this elephant hobi-senpai ?!!!

i’m sitting on the edge of my seat

♡ (⇀ 3 ↼)

jk: me 2

hobi: tae you need to learn how to get a fucking grip and shut the fuck up

…

FYI JK AND Y/N ARE LIVING TOGETHER FOR THE FUNZIES OKAY? FOR THE GIRLIES THAT DO NOT KNOW

the rest of the members have their own houses and are lonely losers

[snickerdoodlles]

so a few weeks ago, @majestictortoise​ and i were talking about VegasPete cohabitation negotiations. because the thing is, these two spent like 3, maybe 5 days max actually existing around each other before going im going to spend the rest of my life with him. very sexy of them to do that, except five minutes after they were both on the same page about this, Vegas does his best swiss cheese impersonation and then they spend several weeks in the hospital waiting for him to heal and reaffirm that yep, this is the man i want to spend forever with. again, very sexy of them to do that, but this means that they’ve been together for several weeks but still don’t know what its actually like to LIVE with the other person, much less live together plus one Macau. and on top of this mess, they also have to face the fact that none of them have a single clue how to run a household because none of their lives have been normal.

the first hint of their coming domestic clashes is, of all things, the dishwasher.

Vegas is freshly released from the hospital. none of them want to return to the minor family compound, or have anything to do with the mafia in general tbh, so Pete and Macau had spent the hospital’s no visitors hours reviewing Vegas’s dubiously acquired real estate properties for somewhere to live. two weeks before Vegas was due to be released, Pete and Macau had picked a cozy home in the suburbs and Porsche loaned a bunch of minions to get it dusted and fitted with some basic furniture. also, as the only one of them who’s ever been a homeowner, Porsche also thought to walk through the home with Pete and make sure all the taps were working and the electricity was running and the utility bills paid. a true bro, that one.

anyways, its their first evening at home. they’re still living on takeout because no one has the energy to cook (that’s Vegas’s area anyways), but Pete and Macau insist on putting the food out on actual plates and use actual utensils instead of eating out of the cartons with plastic and cheap bamboo like they have been. they pull the couch cushions to the floor and eat there because the flatpack table is assembled but the chairs are not, and its all very sweet and lovely. Pete loads the dishwasher and when he’s done, he notices Vegas grimacing and sweetly hustles him off to the bedroom for a handjob and rest.

two days later, after a wonderful meal courtesy of Pete’s grandma (she’s the best), the dishwasher is full enough to run. Pete puts the soap in, then pauses with a frown. i dont remember loading it like that, he thinks, before shrugging and running the thing. it’s just dishes, and he has more important things to worry about anyways.

the first obvious casualty of their collective inexperience are three of Vegas’s velvet shirts. he’s been wearing all his softest clothes, because he’s been stuck in hospital scrubs for much too long, so he’s working off a much more limited clothing pile than the rest of them. the only blessing in this scenario is that Vegas is the one to load the washing machine (well, Macau loaded it, because he didn’t want Vegas to strain himself, but they did it together) so Vegas doesn’t have anyone to yell at. he and Pete fuck out the angst of course, but the cloud of three murdered shirts still hangs over them for a week.

they figure a few things out, like how you don’t pour straight bleach on a counter stain because pure bleach bleaches the counter, there’s always another corner to dust even when you got them all, don’t forget to put the trash out the night before trash collection days. life trucks along, because life does that, then a new demon emerges.

“Vegasssssssssssssssss,” Macau wails from his bedroom doorway, “is the internet still out?”

“uhhhhhhhh,” Vegas says, looking guilty in the midst of scattered wires and a gutted cablebox. the three of them have been trying to figure out why the internet had abruptly gone down since last night and after the two of them had triple checked that everything was plugged in right this morning, Pete had disappeared to teach Chay how to punch stuff and Vegas had pulled out a screwdriver and pliers with a manic gleam in his eyes. Pete’s not even mad, though he does make a mental note to ask Porsche if replacement cableboxes are one of those free things or something they have to purchase.

“uhm,” comes a voice from the kitchen. “did you pay the internet bill?” Chay asks Pete, because he’s still ignoring Vegas while he figures out how he feels about the whole successful-and-attempted-kidnappings thing.

Pete, who’s never had a household bill before in his whole life, blinks. “is that what that mail was?”

Vegas, who knows what regular payments are thanks to growing up a mafia heir, but for whom household bills were but a distant myth, frowns. “i thought we agreed that thing was fake.”

“what the fuck is an internet bill?” asks Macau, because household bills do not exist to sixteen year olds.

“...something to look into then,” Chay squeaks out before fleeing for the front door.

Pete luckily has the sense to complain to his grandma about the situation during their next phone call. he is appalled to learn all those utility payments he paid when they first moved in are reoccurring monthly payments. grandma laughs at him for five minutes, but at least they now know to pay the electric bill on time.

the dishes thing comes to head after six weeks of Vegas making Faces every time Pete loads the dishwasher and Pete finally body slams him like WHAT

“mugs go at the back of the rack :) because they’re heavy :) it’s better balanced if they’re in the back :) :) :)”

it’s not a pretty argument. they fuck about it. the argument continues. they fuck some more about it. Pete picks up Vegas from his last physical therapy appointment the next day, except when Vegas tries to get in the passenger seat, Pete’s like “no no, heavy weight goes in the BACK we need to keep things BALANCED :) if you say ONE word of the lecture on the tip of your tongue I WILL make you walk”

and then Pete does make him walk. he doesn’t drive off, Vegas isn’t allowed out of his sight lest he do something stupid, so he follows in the car carefully to make sure Vegas doesn’t get into something stupid. it’s a level of petty bitch unseen before.

“this wouldn’t be a problem if you just loaded the dishwasher correctly :)” Vegas says when he’s finally allowed in the car.

“this wouldn’t be a problem if you weren’t a bitch :)” Pete retorts.

they fuck about it when they get home of course, because what’s the point of domestic tension if it doesn’t fuel your sex life.

Pete finally asks Porsche to visit two months into living with Vegas. fucking out their domestic problems is fun, but he’s getting a little tired of their sex life being fueled primarily by who last forgot about the chore wheel. Porsche says hello and then excuses himself to the bathroom, only to take one step into it and hastily back out with an expression of deep alarm.

Porsche opens his mouth, pauses to rethink what he’s about to say, then asks, “where do you keep your toilet cleaner Pete?”

“my what?” Pete asks. he stares at Porsche blankly for a few seconds before hesitantly pointing at the handsoap on the sink, feeling a bit like he’s been asked a trick question.

Porsche smiles kindly. it almost doesn’t look strained. “not that, the stuff you use to clean the toilet bowl.”

Pete feels the question marks cross his face. “our toilet flushes,” he explains slowly, “it cleans itself.”

Porsche takes that in, gives a small little nod, and disappears to take a piss. “right,” he says as he exits the bathroom, “do you have a pen and paper? we need to make a shopping list.”

they write up a list--excessively long in Pete’s humble opinion, but Porsche insists they need all of it, and Pete’s not stupid enough to think he knows more than him--and have lunch before they go. Pete washes the dishes by hand because he’s still a little sore (emotionally and physically) over his and Vegas’s last argument about the dishwasher. Porsche watches him with plain faced horror.

“Pete,” he says, strangled.

Pete presses a soapy hand to his forehead and sighs so loud he rattles the window.

Porsche kindly doesn’t say anything on it, he just nudges Pete to the side, hands him a towel, and walks him through it. “you only need a little bit of soap,” he explains kindly, “fill up the basin with hot water and a small dash of soap, and you’re good to go.”

Pete wrinkles his nose at the steamy soapy water. “hot water dries out my hands,” he complains.

“we’ll pick up some gloves,” Porsche reassures, “but you need the hot water. it unsticks food better and sterilizes your dishes. the soap just helps.”

Pete sighs again. he’s starting to think anything involving dishes is a mistake.

Porsche and Pete go shopping. there’s so much stuff. Pete doesn’t know what the fuck he’s expected to do with three buckets, but Porsche insists. Pete’s even more alarmed by the sheer number of different soaps apparently required for a house. you’d think they’d have invented a universal soap by now.

“oh!” Macau says brightly, “i think i saw a tiktok for that!”

“ooh,” Pete says, immediately interested.

“absolutely not,” Porsche hisses like a wet cat, then sits them all down for a lecture on the dangers of homemade mustard gas.

never fear, they do figure out how to adult with the help of Porsche and Vegas’s growing collection of momfluencers and aunties who think his cheekbones can do no wrong. it doesn’t even take them that long, but tell that to the number of Vegas’s silk and velvet shirts that were sacrificed along the way.

[thelostdreamsthings]

Understanding the NATO summit:

The steam for the US proxy war in Ukraine is running out. No commitment is given to Ukraine to obtain NATO membership because the West has come to realize that they can’t win a war against Russia and that peace will only be possible with a neutral Ukraine.

Ukraine will never be a member of NATO. Zelenskyy has realized this and is fuming in Vilnius, attacking NATO as disrespectful and calling the conditions absurd. In a moment of clarity he acknowledged what’s really going on:

"It seems there is no readiness neither to invite Ukraine to NATO nor to make it a member of the Alliance. This means a window of opportunity is being left to bargain Ukraine’s membership in NATO in negotiations with Russia."

That’s exactly right. NATO has lost this war. Biden has lost this war. The lunatic Democrats have lost this war. The uni-party warmongers have lost this war. The EU has lost this war. Ukraine and Zelensky have lost this war.

Russia wins and rightfully so because everything that happened in Ukraine was a fraud against the Ukrainian people perpetrated by a failing US empire in its final stand against a rising multipolar world.

Zelenskyy was never a leader who did what’s best for his people. He will be remembered as a US puppet and actor for foreign interests. 350,000 Ukrainians dead because of him and his puppet masters in the US. He lost $12.7 trillion worth of land and resources to Russia because he did not sign the reasonable peace agreement that Russia had proposed to him. Instead he fell for empty promises from Biden that the US will support Ukraine until victory. What a fool.

The good news is this war may be over soon. The West has lost its appetite to throw more money into the Ukrainian black hole. With the US and EU entering recession they have enough problems at home. Protests and riots will become regular news. Biden wouldn’t stand a chance in the next election. His brain is Swiss cheese and the only alternative for the Democrats is Kennedy.

Trump will use the fatal mistake in Ukraine and the dire economic outlook of the US to run a successful campaign. Kennedy, who says all the right things, would be his only real obstacle but the Democrats have messed their country up so royally that Trump seems like the only choice.

The reality is that it doesn’t matter who the next US president is. The insurmountable debt burden combined with de-dollarization in global trade and the rise of BRICS+ are going to send the US into a decade long depression with unseen levels of poverty and violence.

Hopefully humanity dodged a bullet and nuclear war is no longer imminent. At least that is my read of the situation right now. But things could flare up again if peace negotiations fail. Russia may be tempted to take Odessa and turn Ukraine into rump state without access to the sea. Russia is holding all the cards. Let’s see how Putin plays them.

Putin’s ONLY mistake is not starting the Ukraine special military operation sooner than he did.

Zelensky is not just angry because he's short, has no friends and was rejected by NATO..

He's also angry because Putin currently controls 100,000 sq km of Ukrainian territory.

[talesfromsiteredacted]

SCP: Special Craft Projects

A list of weird requests I've had for various things on site. Some from staff, some from our residents. And one from a kitten, via his human spokesperson.

035 once asked me to do some calligraphy for him. He wanted a quote in copperplate, bright red ink. The quote? "Have you considered the possibility that it is, in fact, your fault?" To be sent to 079. Request denied on order of O5.

682 once asked me for a hat. Granted, he looked really cute with his yellow bobble hat last winter. Next winter... he gets a matching hat and scarf.

Dr. Gears asked me to do some diagrams for him... for an Indian motorcycle engine. Not my best, but they still hang in the lobby to his office.

Dr. Clef keeps asking me for a lei. Not sure if he's teasing me.

053 has a standing order for cookies once a week, for her tea parties with 682 and 999. Did not know jellybean cookies were a thing, but they are now!

Agent Strelnikof asked me to make some toys for Niko. Wound up making a few, ranging from little hacky sack things filled with cellophane to a catnip banana. The cheese pillow was a hit though, it was a block of swiss with hidden little treat pockets where the holes were. Niko sleeps on it.

Abel asked me for a crochet sheep. With a sword. Wound up creating a weirdly cute Link/sheep mix plushie.

Origami shoes. Just... how? Why? And how much of the wacky lettuce led to this one?

Hand Drawn Cassie once asked me to draw her ice skating. That was fun.

Cain asked me to crochet him a cactus. A six foot tall cactus, with flowers. Still debating on that one.

A Mario chain chomp, with chain.

Another 035 calligraphy request: "Already disturbed, just go away already!" This one I gave into. It's on the outside of his door on days he can't be bothered.

049 requested a couple of signs himself. First, a dual sided plaque with the classic Doctor is in/out, and then... Autopsy in progress, please do not disturb.

Several people have asked me to crochet scarves, hats, toys... but only Leonard "Lenny the Letch" O'Hare would ask me to make him a hooker. Denied. In fact... Clef and I laughed him right out of the boss' office on that one.

A sailboat. Full sized. How?

Two goldfish, real size. Granted, used embroidery floss.

Got asked to draw a few NSFW things of certain anomalies. Denied. First... 076-2 and 073 are my brothers. Iris is my sister. Not biologically, but that is a line I do not cross. Second... not my style. Third... Abel doesn't like you, Karin. At all.

Dr. Iceberg asked me to bake him a pecan pie once. Not all that weird, but Iceberg doesn't really ask for a lot, or often. He said it was almost as good as his mom's. I call that high praise indeed.

Since Clef found out I can cook, I get weekly requests for cheesecake. I'm running out of recipes! Another unexpected hit: lemon cake.

343 asked me to make him a door sign. Nothing fancy, just "Please wipe your feet". Granted.

Geoff, one of our elevator guys, asked me to crochet him a mini Chris Redfield. Gave him a matched set of Redfields, after all can't break up siblings, right?

A Tetris themed afghan, for Agent Markovich. Iris wanted a surprise for his birthday. That was a fun challenge.

Used to muck about making my own dice for RPGs. I had to stop due to getting headaches. That... and the last dice I made, an eyebleeding neon tie dye nightmare set for Dr. Bright. Never. Again.

Dr. Glass asked me for some ink blots, like the psych test ones. He also asked me to do some garden landscapes for him. Both are framed, landscapes in the lobby. The ink blots are at his apartment.

Clown shoes. Nope, I do not think so.

Golf clubs. Not kidding. Had to say no on that one.

A life size version of 999. I'm thinking about it. Maybe as Evie's Yule gift this year.

Origami grenades. How are those even supposed to work, Clef?

A cape. Hey, anything you need, Cactus Man.

A ball gag. Yes, for Dr. Bright. Denied. Just order from Adam & Eve, Dr. Rights! Or... 100 mph tape.

Shotgun cozies. Didn't even know such things existed.

Wizard's hat, blue velvet, with hidden pockets. Eobard, my man... those things never stay on, plus I am not a hatmaker! What's wrong with a hood?

106 asked me for a skeleton once. It's almost done, just gotta assemble Mr. Squishybones. Once I figure out how.

A mini version of 682. Yes, it was for 053, Evie. She sleeps with it.

A voodoo doll of Dr. Gears. Not for pins, though... 166 wanted to hug it, so maybe he'd cheer up a little. Clef thought it was cute, granted. No signs it's working yet though.

Voodoo doll of Dr. Clef. I did make one, but since it was intended for bad purposes... that went to 166 too. Clef has been less edgy since, so maybe it works?

Mikell Bright once asked me to make a few pieces of jewelry for him. Nothing fancy, just a chainmaille bracelet for Claire and a necklace for one of his lady companions. Took me a few weeks, but in the end it was good enough. The damn bracelet was worse, that was supposed to be almost like a bracer. I no longer do chainmaille.

035 asked for a bubblegum pink crochet bikini. Managed to talk him out of it. Dr. Gears thanked me for that. Weird Thursday, but that's the Foundation for you.

A cup of coffee. With googly eyes. Dr. Glass has him on his bookcase in his office, calls him Dr. Java. Cute, but also good for getting younger patients to open up.

And finally... yet another rejected Karin Moritana request: photorealistic nude blanket of Abel. Nope. Nope. Nope. That is a giant nope, and yes... I did make her go see Dr. Glass about her obsession with my brother. Clearly, homegirl needs help.

[scumtrout]

Re: that post I reblogged about informal support networks, that's something I've been musing over for a while: informal support networks are not a given. It's possible for you to build a network containing the most helpful people imaginable and still somehow find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.

I know the whole point of networks is that if one node 'fails', other nodes are meant to act as backup... But the Swiss Cheese model of accident causation is a very real problem, and also when the nodes in your network are human beings, each one will have its own unique range of strengths and weaknesses, so that sometimes the only person who can help you with a particular problem at a particular time is unavailable.

I remember seeing people argue online that you should build relationships with people mainly because you might need their help with something eventually, and... yikes. Not only does that seem mercenary, but the person who you're 'investing' in because you expect some sort of return might have moved to somewhere far away or changed jobs by the time you expect them to help you. Relationships are impermanent, and people have their own lives. If your life comes into alignment with someone else's and you can mutually help each other, then that's great, but that's not something you can take for granted.

There's also the following issue: sometimes the people who are quickest to offer help are not the best candidates for providing help. But that's a separate kettle of fish.

[thebeckster]

(Hiii this is Ben but it won’t let me ask from my sideblog): for the reverse trope prompt: asafure and the rival academics pls?

(Oh my god, we're gonna pretend like I answered this ask last month when I actually wrote the prompt and it didn't just fall through one of the swiss cheese holes in my brain)

Anyways.

Thank you so much for the prompt! Writing Arthur/Frey is just so much fun, and any time I can toss them into an AU is a treat. I hope you like it too!

💜💜💜

To the people who did not know any better, who only knew Frey and Arthur in a professional setting, it would only be right for them to assume that the two hated each other. They were bitter rivals. The school’s two eighth-grade teachers, constantly in competition with one another. Outside of school, they were the happiest couple anyone could have known. They rarely argued, they were romantic-movie levels of sweet to each other, and when they were on a team together at game night with friends, they were unbeatable. For people who knew Arthur and Frey both outside of school and at school, it was like watching someone lead a double life. The two would drive into work together, matching coffee cups, sometimes even coordinating outfits. They’d chat brightly with each other and their colleagues about various goings on around the school – which students were struggling, which ones were excelling, how test scores were stacking up. But then as soon as the bell rang, and students filed into their homeroom for the morning, suddenly they were warring generals, directing their students into pitched battles against the other homeroom. All day the rivalry would rage against each other. And then once the last bell rang for the day and the students went home, Frey and Arthur were back to their sweet, loving selves. Only to repeat the cycle the next day. During the lead up to exam time, it would not be an exaggeration to call their days of teaching a bloodbath.

Frey and Arthur had at some point reached the conclusion that to get their students most prepared for high school and engaged in their academics was to pit them against their fellow classmates in a year-long competition to see who was crowned the Best Class at the end of the year. Who had better test scores, who had the most improved grades, who read more books, who participated in more extra curriculars, who did more volunteer service.

Anything that would otherwise spark little more than disinterest and apathy from 12-14 year-olds suddenly became some of the most important aspects of their school year.

The administration thought about stepping in once or twice when rumors of what was going on got blown out of proportion, but they couldn’t argue with the results. The school’s eighth-graders scored consistently higher than their peers across the district and continued to do exceptionally well through high school.

It was an odd method, one most of their colleagues did not understand, but it worked for all parties involved.

Sometimes people were a bit confused over whether the fierce competition was contrived, and just an act the teachers put on for the students. But the infamous Maternity Leave Incident from a few years back had illuminated some things. Whatever rivalry the two teachers had was very real. At least between the hours of 7:30AM to 4:00PM, Monday thru Friday.

It was the first day of school. Frey always loved the first day of school. A new semester, a new crop of students (some of which she knew were eager to be in her class), and a whole new year to prove to her husband that she was the better teacher. Her class had been the winner for three years running and she wasn’t about to break that streak.

(And really it would have been four years if she hadn’t had to miss a significant portion of the school year going out on maternity leave. Sure, Arthur was out for almost as long as she had been, but those extra two weeks he got with his students had made all the difference that year. Frey’s substitute just hadn’t been up to the task.)

She leaned against her desk, sipping at her coffee as she smiled at the shiny gold plastic trophy that sat atop a bookshelf in the place of honor. A construction paper banner was spread across the wall behind it, a victory flag of sorts, listing out the years her class had won the trophy. She knew Arthur had a very similar set up in his classroom across the hall.

Her husband crossed the currently empty hallway and sidled up next to her on the desk, with his own cup of coffee in hand. He followed her gaze up to the trophy. “Another year, another run for the prize. Looks good up there, but it would look better on my shelves.”

Frey fought a smile, not giving him the satisfaction of a retort. “Darling, you don’t think it’s looking a little dull, do you?” She faked a frown and cocked her head at the gleaming trophy (which she had just dusted not five minutes ago). “I worry that since it hasn’t been moved in so long, it might be collecting dust up there. I mean, there’s an inch of dust atop your bookshelf, I can only imagine the trophy has collected just as much while it’s been on mine.”

“Well, if you don’t want such a dingy old thing tarnishing your impeccable room, I’ll take it off your hands.” He spared a glance around to see what decorations Frey had put up for the first quarter. She’s chosen a pastoral theme, gentle greens and blues with landscapes of crop fields and pastures of animals scattered around. Nothing like what he’d chosen for his room. “Hmm… farms. How quaint.”

“You do recall our first combined unit it about agriculture? From sciences through the arts we’re going to the farm. It will help the students stay in the right mindset and focus on their tasks.”

“They’re going to fall asleep counting sheep.” Arthur teased. “You’ve got enough of them bouncing along the walls. Look. One… two… three…” and here he faked a huge yawn.

Frey scoffed and pushed him off her desk. “Even sleeping, my class would do better than yours.”

“That’s what you think. We’ll just have to see where the score falls at the end of the semester, won’t we?” And the fire of competition blazed in Arthur’s eyes. “I think come winter term, that trophy is going to come back to its proper home in my room.”

“I’ll take that bet.” Frey leaned forward, her eyes ablaze with the same fire.

She planted a kiss on her husband’s smiling lips just as the first bell of the day rang. Distantly they heard the school doors open, the tromp of many feet in the hall, and the cacophony of student voices. The two parted and Arthur raised his mug in a toast.

“To another school year, my love. May the best class win.” Frey clinked her coffee cup against his and said with a confident smile, “Don’t worry, we will.”

[rissararity]

Keep My Secret - Stucky/OC

By RissaRarity

👉🏻Chapter word count: 3798

(NSFW, unprotected P/V sex, poly undertones)

These chapters aren't nesacarily in order so please roll with it. It doesn't really matter for what this story is.

Fic masterlist:

CHAPTER TWO: GETTING A SIGNAL (Bucky + Prism)

It was one of the rare occasions where Prism and Bucky were sent on a mission together. Of course, things went haywire and they found themselves deep underground in the enemies base.

After the big fight, the enemy decided to just level the entire place- resulting in them being trapped while the enemy agents escaped.

Most of them at least.

They'd managed to reprogram some of the Ultron Era robots to patrol the lower levels and they were the current problem.

With the building literally collapsed into a pile of rubble on top of them, the Avenger pair were trapped with the enemy.

Just before the base had been blown, one of the agents had managed to inject Bucky with something that seemed to temporarily weaken the effects of the serum- inhibiting his ability to heal quickly.

Prism and Bucky wound up separated for a while until she rounded the corner just in time to see one of the repurposed robots make his torso into Swiss cheese.

"Bucky!" she bolted over to his collapsed form, beheading the bot with one swipe of her magic, it's body fell to the floor loudly.

Blood poured from at least seven holes, his eyes grew hazy as she dropped to her knees beside him. "I've got you, I'm gonna get you out of this." She swore, trying to hide her panic.

More robotic footsteps could be heard coming closer. "I've got to get us somewhere they won't see us. Hang on, Buck. If you die on me....I'll kill you."

He grinned a little, grunting in pain as she grabbed under his arms and pulled him into the closest room. A trail of blood followed them as she got him into the dark, musty control room. She gritted her teeth as she dragged him to a clear spot on the ground.

Honestly, she wasn't sure if her magic could do this but considering it seemed to do almost whatever she needed, she decided to try.

"Stay awake, Buck. I'm gonna get you out of this." She gulped and met his eyes briefly before sending her magic to her hands- white and pastel light cast an ethereal glow over her features that entranced him in his slightly delirious state.

Bucky watched in awe as she put her glowing hands over his torso, closing her eyes in concentration. He gave a shaky exhale in relief as his pain stopped for the moment and her magic encased his entire torso.

"I can feel the inhibitor they injected you with. I'm trying to help you metabolize it...and help with your major injuries. It's bad, I'm not gonna lie." She knit her brows in concentration, a stream of blood slid from one side of her nose as she worked- a sign of her efforts.

Not that she had any idea, but her partner watched her the entire time unable to look away. It was slow, hard work and after an hour or so of constant effort her magic began to flicker out.

"...Come on..." she tried to force more magic but her nosebleed only dropped from the other nostril as well as she got progressively more light headed.

"Take a break, Priz. You're about to pass out."

"But...but...UGH!" She growled in annoyance as her magic went out like someone had flipped the off switch.

He couldn't help his grimace as his pain returned. Life threatening injuries were taken care of but he was still hurt, weak and bleeding.

"I'll have to use natures magic." She resigned, wiping her nose on her arm that sported a few scrapes and bruises of her own.

"You're gonna cuddle with me?" He asked, arching an eyebrow.

"It's that or you die down here- and I won't let that happen. I'll try to heal you again when my magic comes back, but right now this is the best I can do for you. I'm sorry if the idea is repulsive but..." she grunted as she sat him up a bit and dragged him over toward a support pillar.

"No man left behind. I'm gonna get you out of here alive, Buck, or die trying." She promised, rendering him speechless as he gained a new respect for her.

She managed to slide between his back and the concrete, getting him to lay against her torso, between her legs. Her arms wrapped around him as she rested her cheek on the top of his head.

Bucky was unable to move thanks to a paralytic in the inhibitor, so he had to let himself rest against her. Admittedly, her boobs made nice pillows on either side of the back of his head.

He told her as much, getting a growl in response that made him smirk.

"I think in light of our current situation..." he waited for the pain from being moved to subside a bit, "We should call for a temporary truce. I don't think we should die fighting each other."

She sighed, "Deal. I'm too tired to be angry with you anymore. I don't think I could come up with a sarcastic comment if I tried."

She tired to use her ear piece to call for help but got no response.

"Coms are down and there's no way we're going to get a signal down here through all the rubble." Prism frowned, brow creasing as she had used a lot of her magic to slowly help her partners body fight the chemical he'd been injected with. "My magic is running on empty trying to keep you afloat. Honestly, I'm open to suggestions." She tried to heal him again, flinching as she felt a stab in her gut as her magic began to drain her.

Bucky was quiet for a moment as the thought, eyes trained on her hands that glowed with silver and pastel light against his blood stained tactical vest.

"I know how we can get a beacon to Steve, but you're not gonna like it."

"I think we've established the life and death situation were in, with our temporary truce in affect...just tell me."

He licked his dry lips, "I know you don't have much knowledge on what it's like to have a mate," he began.

"Not now, Barnes." She sighed, flinching as she felt another stab that sent liquid up her throat. She leaned to the side and coughed up some blood, wiping her mouth on her shoulder.

The beta frowned down at the spot on the floor for a moment, "Let me finish! And take a break, before both of us are defenseless. I'm not gonna die if you stop for a while."

After a moment of hesitation, she relented and let her hands stop glowing. He clenched his jaw a little as his pain returned but didn't make an audible sound.

"We're too far apart for mate telepathy, so the only way I can get a signal to him is if our bond detects infidelity."

He heard her breath catch, and felt the rise and fall of her chest speed up.

"Y-you mean..."

"We're both betas, so there's no risk to you. Once I cum from someone else our bond will lead him right to us like a bloodhound."

She was silent.

"I told you you wouldn't like it. Well...maybe you will, I'm sure no one's been that close to you i-" "Truce, asshole. Remember?"

"Right. Sorry." He cleared his throat.

"Besides, I'm surprised you're even suggesting it. I always thought you hated me."

He scoffed, "Now I know you don't have much experience with men. I don't have to like you personally to want to fuck you, Doll. Been a long time since I had a gal anyway- though I'm not exactly in my best shape to preform so you'll have to take the lead."

Prism's face couldn't get any more pink, heart hammering nervously in her chest.

"You're messing with me."

"Normally Id jump at the chance but not in this case. Either we do this so Steve can find us or we die down here."

She was quiet again, "When we get home, we never speak of this again and you can't hold it against me...ever."

His chuckle ended in a cough, "Make me bargin for both our lives why don't ya?" he coughed a little more, flinching in pain and noticing her rub his chest soothingly as a reflex.

"You have my word, Priz." He said at last.

With a resigned sigh, she carefully slid out from behind him and he was able to sit up long enough to scoot back and put his back against the wall.

She stepped in front of him, looking shy. "I'm not getting naked."

"Don't have to. Just from the waist down then sit in my lap."

With a small gulp, she began to undo the pants of her suit - aware of him grunting in discomfort as he tugged his down to his knees while leaving his underwear up.

The mage could already see the thick outline of his already half hard member, making warmth spread through her body in a way she'd been purposely avoiding for years.

Luckily, Bruce had just given her a dose of her industrial strength suppressants the day before the mission so her omega pheromones were undetectable.

Of course, Bucky could still scent the smell of her slick as soon as it began. He did her the courtesy of sparing her of that information in the name of their temporary cease-fire.

Deep down it stoked his ego to know a gorgeous woman - even if it was Priz- found him attractive enough to start getting wet for him before they even had any physical contact.

In fact, he said nothing at all as she placed herself in his lap facing him as her now bare crotch landed perfectly on his clothed one.

"This is the tricky part. You need to make sure you don't hurt yourself here. I can't move very much so...you're gonna have to do most of the prep...and work."

He smirked a little as her eyes flicked up and down his body for a moment. "I'm not really a...top kind of beta so-"

He chuckled, "Yeah, no shit."

"What's that supposed to mean, Barnes?" she hissed, but rolled her hips to his anyway.

A small grunt came from his lips as his hands lifted from his sides to grasp her bare waist and guide her a little.

"I know you've got a mouth on you and you're a scrappy little beta, I'll give you that..." his grip tightened to push her down a little harder, earning a small whimper from her. "You are clearly a bottom leaning one too, all the alphas can tell."

While Bucky was technically a beta, the part of him that was The Winter Soldier had been made into an Alpha that now lived in the back of his mind. He could be every bit an Alpha as Steve or anyone else.

Knowing that made her wet on an instinctual level.

"H-how can you tell? Wait...all of you?!" she tensed up hips stopping for a moment as blood rushed to her cheeks. "Has this been a topic of discussion?!"

He tilted his head with a grin and said nothing for a long moment. "All alphas are secretly horn dogs, I'm positive nearly every alpha you've ever met has fantasized about you at least once or thought about what you're like in bed. You're a brat, Priz, but that just means you need a firmer hand. With the right partner, I bet you cant help being a compliant, good girl." His large hands slid down to paw at her thighs, spreading them a little and making her lower lips slip against each other - earning a shutter and shaky breath.

Prism blushed, thankful again for her suppressants as she'd have otherwise dripped at the thought of being so wanted. "Scentless doesn't mean unfuckable, I guess."

Bucky's hands encouraged her to move against his hardness again, "It certainly does not." Amusement laced his tone. "But that's not how I know." He went on, watching her eyes glaze a little with lust as the heavy smell of her arousal became apparent.

"How then?" she asked, gasping when his flesh hand suddenly grabbed her throat and gave a controlled squeeze that made her eyes flutter and hips speed up, a shuttery gasp sliding from her lips.

"Because even when you're on top, you want me to dom you. I've been doing it almost the entire time and you immediately accepted it- melted into it is more accurate. So tell me, Doll," She felt the air shift as he began to put out Alpha pheromones. "How do I make you...open up to me? What makes you want to shut that pretty mouth and be a good girl for Alpha?" his voice dropped an octave, blue eyes glinting with arrogance and lust.

Her brows creased as his praise went straight to her core, panting slightly.

Unable to deny what she wanted, Prism took his flesh hand and made him cup her jaw, pressing to tell him to squeeze. He smirked and did as instructed, "You want alpha to kiss you?"

She frowned a little as she remembered his mate back at the tower and guilt pricked at her.

"Don't worry about Steve, sweetheart. The goal here is to upset the mating bond and commit infidelity. I have to fuck you to get us rescued...kissing you is nothing by comparison." His tone got softer for a moment, thumb grazing her lips and squishing the lower one a little to admire how soft and full it was.

His words worked, getting a nod of consent. Seizing her jaw again, he pulled her face down to his and claimed her lips in a domineering kiss that made her groan against his.

Keeping in mind how common it was for betas to have casual sex with each other, though usually unmated ones, the beauty took his metal hand and slid it around her to grip her ass.

Prism gripped his hair as she kissed him back, careful to avoid the wounds on his torso. His growl made her hands drop immediately, he let her pull back from him and their breath mingled in the air.

"See? I'm a top leaning beta, you can sense that and you just submitted to me again because you know I will win this fight- even all fucked up like this." He slid his flesh hand up and down her waist, memorizing the feel of her soft, feminine form.

"Someone's cocky." She grinned, silver eyes meeting his blue ones.

"You'll become better acquainted with my cockiness soon enough, doll."

They shared a small, genuine laugh before he winked.

"I'm gonna do my thing and feel free to hop on when you feel ready to be a good girl and help me get us out of here." He said against her lips before kissing her cheek, behind her ear and then down her neck- hand creeping up to tug at her hair.

"F-fuck." She groaned, head falling to the side for him as his alpha pheromones flooded her.

"That's the plan." He breathed against her skin, letting his prickly stubble scratch her. She moaned as he sucked on the spot where her neck and shoulder met, "You're so wet for me." He murmured as she reached down and freed him from his jockeys, hiding her surprise at its size and weight in her hand.

Bucky groaned as she stroked him a few times before lifting herself to rub his head against her opening. His head fell back, eyes rolling in pleasure as she stretched herself over him and sank down - easily taking him to the hilt resulting in a buldge in her lower belly.

"Mmmm!" she rested her forehead against his as she sat still for a moment before starting to ride him.

"God, you're a natural." He groaned, both hands now kneading her ass while watching her body swallow him like it was made for him specifically.

Pride bloomed in her chest as she soon reduced him to a groaning, sweaty mess under her while he continued to grope her where he could - part of her wishing she'd taken her top off.

With a burst of confidence, she leaned toward his face and changed her angle a little so he reached deeper, making a string of curses fall from his lips.

"Gonna come for me soldier? Fill me up with your cum?"

He regarded her through heavily lidded eyes, "You gotta earn it, baby doll. Ride that cock and earn alphas load." One hand reached back up to grip her throat as he buried his nose in her neck, grunting as his metal hand grabbed her hips and forced her to move faster

Her little body bounced above him, messy hair floating slightly each time she speared herself again. "My little Angel wants alphas cum, huh?" He made sure to brush his stubble on her sensitive skin again. "If I could move I'd show you what I can do and you wouldn't walk right for a week." His voice was dripping with lust, face contorting when her body squeezed him at his words.

"You like that, Princess? You like when alpha talks dirty? 'm gonna fill you up so much you're gonna inflate like a balloon, sloshing with every step as my cum slides down your legs."

"...alpha..." she whimpered, squeezing him again.

"Cum on my cock, doll. Be a good girl and earn your prize." His voice was tight as he reached the edge.

With a moan of pleasure that could put a porn star to shame, she threw her head back as her body pulled him in close to press his head against her cervix.

"F-fuuuccck!" he groaned, hands pulling her down roughly as he shot a massive load deep into her- sure enough- causing her to inflate a bit to accommodate it. She could feel each long, hot burst as he made good on his promise.

Almost as soon as his body relaxed under her, he felt a squeeze in his chest that told him Steve had pin pointed them through the bond.

"Did it work?" she panted, legs shaking as they still rested on his thighs.

Bucky nodded, "He knows. He's on the way."

"Good." She went to stand up but froze when he grabbed her arm, eyeing him suspiciously. "One last kiss for the road?"

She snickered, "In your dreams, Barnes."

With a crooked smirk, he let go and watched his dick fall out of her as she stood up, yelping slightly as she stood to the side to let the thick stream of white drain from her belly and onto the floor.

"Shit, you weren't kidding." She tried to squeeze out what she could, using a scrap piece of cloth from the rubble to wipe the mess off her legs.

Bucky put himself away and pulled his pants up with minor difficulty. "I forgot how good pussy is." He shrugged, secretly proud of how much he'd managed to give her. "Best I've ever had, at least of what I remember."

He didn't know the real reason hers was so good, but she did - a small badge of pride she tucked away. "Well...thanks?" she glanced at him while she put her pants back on, receiving a wink.

She helped him lean forward and scooted to her previous position: him laying between her legs, his back to her chest, neck cradled between her breasts, her arms around his waist near his wounds.

"I'm gonna try again, okay?"

" 'ppreciate it."

She rested her cheek on the top of his head and closed her eyes as her hands began to glow again, making his body relax further as her magic fought the toxin inside of him and began to help close more of the wounds.

Prism kept going with the slow and difficult process until she was hit with exhaustion and her magic flickered out.

By then, her teammate had fallen asleep under her touch so she allowed herself to follow.

That was how The Captain found them hours later after Tony helped him clear enough of the rubble to get down there.

Steve couldn't help the small smile that crossed his face when he saw them like that. If things were different, they'd be a cute couple.

-

Prism begrudgingly sat in the alpha's lap while the Quinjet's autopilot took them home.

Bucky sat in the passengers seat with an open paper back covering his eyes, head tipped back.

"Oh, and the next time you wanna take Buck for a ride, let me know ahead of time so I can watch. He is my mate after all."

She glared up at his smirk, cheeks ablaze. "You know it was the only way."

"I know, and I'm not mad. Betas fuck all the time." Amusement twinkled in his baby blues.

"Steve!" she growled, eyes tearing with embarrassment.

"What? Beta on beta can be hot! Plus, he could-" "and would!" Bucky added from his seat, not moving from his position.

The blonde chuckled a little, turning his attention back to the female and continued, "right, and would, Alpha for you properly if that's what you wanted. All you gotta to is ask to borrow him, and give me a front row seat."

"How do you know I wouldn't dom him?"

Bucky snickered in his seat and Steve openly began to laugh.

She began to sulk, a dark cloud over her head as her cheeks burned.

"You did save his life though so...you can have one free-bee without supervision." Steve said quietly, resting his cheek on the top of her head

"Gee thanks." She rolled her eyes but accepted the physical contact that was already helping with her soreness and exhaustion.

He chuckled, a crooked grin she couldn't see on his lips. "I'm serious. But also, thank you for bringing my mate back to me. I'd be a mess without him."

Prism had never heard him sound so sincere, least of all while speaking to her. She knew he'd probably hate her forever and possibly even kill her if she failed or let Bucky die...but that wasn't why she did it.

"I couldn't leave him. We may not always get along but...we're teammates. I'd do the same for you." She replied softly.

Now it was the alpha's turn to be rendered speechless for a moment. "I know you would."

Liar.

She couldn't help but scoff, making him glare down at her for a moment- mildly embarrassed he'd been caught.

Neither of them brought it up again. Instead, he began to rub her back and made an effort to exude more alpha pheromones to help her.

Soon, she fell asleep, her cheek on his collar bone.

[auncyen]

Realizing I could have made a joke at a really dramatic moment in this chapter and not sure if I regret missing the joke or am glad because it...may not have been appropriate

Malaya telling Castti "Remember" in ch. 4 and Castti being like 'The problem is she’s trying to create an entirely new concoction, one she’s never seen before.' and it would have been SO easy to tack on 'ALSO, SHE HAS AMNESIA' lmfao

it's probably for the best I missed it. But also I'm just going to imagine Castti being like that during the canon moment for real like "Malaya you know my memory is swiss cheese. Malaya please. Please."

[rabbitcruiser]

National Pickle Day 

It’s National Pickle Day, everyone! Did you forget? Oh, then you must think you’re in a right pickle, but don’t worry. Be as cool as a cucumber, because there’s still time to munch on some pickles, yet.

No matter whether you like Gherkin, Dill, Lime, Bread-and-Butter, Branston, Cornishon, Hungarian, Polish, Danish or Swedish pickles, made in either in brine or vinegar, you can be sure these fermented morsels are so much more than mere hors d’oeuvres.

Granted, they don’t hold much value in terms of nutrition, except maybe for their moderate vitamin K as well as high sodium contents, and they don’t usually garnish the healthiest meals…but if it’s wrong to pump your blood full of pickle sodium, then you don’t want to be right. And heck, once you’re finished eating all of the pickles out of the jar, you might just drink the juice. Take that, nutritionists!

However, if you still happen to be hungry when you’re finished doing this, however, you can proceed to have a Koolickle or two for dessert. What are Koolickles, you ask? Koolickles are none other than pickles that has been marinated in brine and …Kool-aid, resulting in a sweet but tangy treat hat children seem to be fond of but that makes most adults shudder at the shameless combination of pre-made ingredients. So perhaps we’ll just stick to pickles.

History of National Pickle Day

Pickles take their name from the Dutch word for ‘brine’, and they began to be a popular food some 4,000 years ago, when cucumbers were first imported from India, as they hadn’t really existed in Europe or North Africa before then. Cleopatra is said to have attributed her looks and youth to the green treats among other things. Nowadays, no pensioner can go without a pickle in some parts of the world, while some pregnant women are said to crave them alongside ice-cream as part of their bizarre pregnancy-related food cravings.

How to Celebrate National Pickle Day

The best way to celebrate this day, and I’m sure you’ll all agree, if to consume as many pickles as possible. You can eat them straight of of a jar, but if you feel like trying your hand at a new dish you may want to make some traditional Polish pickle soup to warm you from head to foot on a chilly November day.

Source

[kaedeakeshisworld]

I love cake

gist: When I go back to my seat, I observe Beni reading a book and proceed to ask him: "What are you reading?"

"Oh, you’re done how was it?"

"Wonderful, nothing like a hot shower to make me feel better."

"Glad to hear that. I’m reading Izana, a folklore story that deals with the legend of the girls born on the year of the horse. Some sort of curse condemns their existence and the only solution as cruel as it may sound is to kill the kid to inhibit them from bringing misfortune to the village. It was a common practise of clan superiority traditions but it’s extremely nefarious so it has died down to a certain extent."

"Wow! I didn’t know you liked folkore stories like that. I’ll add that to my reading list for this month."

"It will be a wonderful read, I assure you."

"I don’t doubt it."

chapter notes:

Ramyeon*: Korean noodles my fave are kimchi and spicy from shin ramyeon.

Baguette*: French stick type of bread.

Camembert*: Smelly French cheese (some say it smells like feet…)

Cailler*, Läderach ag*, Toblerone* Lindt*: Swiss chocolate brands which happen to be my fave.

Petit beurre*: butter biscuit sometimes covered with milk chocolate or dark one. Its equivalent in the anglo saxon sphere would be graham crackers.

Quatre quarts*: Made up name place but it means pound cake in French.

bruva*: british lingo for brother (another example is how they add chew in tuesday- phonetically speaking).

rad*: crazy, mad about.

Lapis Lazuli*: a hotel name in this fic but is also a crystal often blue as well as song by the Beach House.

Jambon beurre*: literally ham butter sandwich. A very popular combo, if you ever can get a sammy at a French boulangerie, this is a classic.

financier*: a small cake (typically a finger food), can be rectangular or oval which dates back to 1865.

Je suis à Paris, les nanas*: translation Girls, I'm in Paris. Les nanas means girls but sometimes it can also mean boobs. Here is the former but the more you know…

Bukkake*: A collective jizz shower if you get what I mean…

For the pet names list: love, honey, daddy and sir for Leo.

Concerning Palais de la démesure, it is a fic I'm currently writing. Might be out towards like February of this year if work doesn't manage to knock me out first (fingers crossed)!

Cw: sex in a bathroom at the airport(do not reproduce, I Guess), benimaru is a menace, reader getting ate out, attempt to an actual handjob and blowjob but oh well she can't do much because of him, benimaru also is addicted to her so much so he's back at it again in the airplane( a menace he is), consuming porn, group chat talks are the best.

wc: 7096

c/s: this one is quite long, heh!

Blank/Ageless blogs/MDNI, I will block you!

I’ve dreamt of this moment ever since I laid my eyes on her back in uni. I have to pace myself otherwise I’ll just jizz my pants and I don’t want that for my first sexual intercourse with Y/n. Dawg, I sound like a fucking teenager who’s tryna get their very first nut! Why am I so goddam nervous in the first place. Like this is light work but I wanna impress her too…

"So," she commences "what are you going to do about your erection?"

He tells her "Brace yourself on that sink with both hands, if you will?"

"I can do that."

"That’s secure enough for you? You’re not going to do anything which requires the use of my might?"

"Maybe, who knows?"

He gets down on his knees and his hands start fumbling your backside. 

I have my hands on uni's most appraised butt. What a fucking legend I am to be the one fondling it. We were little shits back then but what could a motherfucker do besides blame hormones? We were packing and matter of fact I ain’t lose none of the moves from back then. I’ll show her how a real man eats out a woman. 

Memories 

"Hey, you don’t know what I’d do to get my hands on Y/n’s backside."

"Same! Before I die, if god is real and can grant me one wish, I wanna rest my head on it. You can tell the joint's hella comfortable."

"What if she farts?"

"Are you dumb or you’re acting like it on purpose?"

"He is, poor thing really thought women don’t get gassy."

"You sure you passed them exams to get to uni or maybe you bribed someone?"

"What are you even saying?" 

"I said what I said and it stays between us."

"You can’t be the first one who’s done it anyway."

"He’s so spot on."

"Anywho… wanna bet?"

"Bet about what?"

"I’ll touch that butt of hers before any of y’all get the chance to. I’m the best, so place it now."

"Two hundred."

"Fifty ‘cause I’m behind rent this month."

"One thousand if you do it today."

"Sold! Just watch me in action."

"Y/n!"

"Beni! How have you been?"

"Not looking as fine as you do."

"Stop playing."

"I’m just saying the truth."

"Yeah, keep at it."

"I was wondering if we could maybe go to the movies."

"Tonight, I can’t I have a due paper and need to verify some finishing touches before I hand it in but tomorrow, I’m free."

"Tomorrow at ten, then."

He mouths to them when he goes away by Y/n's side 'just watch me, you bunch o’ goons.'

"He acting like he the king or sum?"

"So fucking conceited!"

"He must be high from what he bouta get tomorrow."

Tomorrow evening  

"As always, you look superb."

"You don’t look so bad yourself."

"That’s a compliment from Y/n, I’ll cherish it my whole life."

"Really?"

"Pick whatever you’d like, my treat."

"Salted caramel popcorn, butter and sprite. I wouldn’t mind having some sour patch kids…" 

"Great choice."

"What about you?"

"I don’t really feel like eating so, candy will be aight."

"You like it?" 

"So far, it ain’t bad."

"We’re getting to the scarier bits."

"Okay."

"You can hold me, if you want to."

"I’ll be good."

That’s what she said but her hands were gripping his bicep and her hiding her face on it says otherwise. She really was tryna act strong in front of a horror movie. You should know better!

"It’s gotten better, I promise."

She looks at the screen and the murderers are actually decapitating the victim while performing some sort of ritual which apparently could revive the dead. In answer to him lying to her she smacks his arm.

"Beni! How could you do this to me?"

He chortles so hard which earn him some disapproving looks from other folks who were also in the room. 

"I thought it would be nice to prank you. Please, don't hate me. You're so pretty when you get mad."

"You're crazy Beni, on god you are."

At first you think it’s a bit odd or he’s perhaps just getting in the mood so you let him do how he feels it. He hikes up your dress, plays with your undies a little before getting a sharp inhale from the source.

He slides her panties down to her ankles and slowly but surely smooches her pearl. She smells really good down there. He’s glad he gets to taste her essence from the source right away even though licking her clean from her underwear would thrill him too.

His hands grab her cheeks to spread them in a way he can engulf fully her clitoris into his moist hot cavern. 

He lets her know that eating her out is one of the many things he enjoys doing when he vibrates around her button. She lets out an almost inaudible squeal which has him struck at first to hear such a sound but women are one of a kind so he’ll try to get to know more sounds like this he’s not so used to hear. Interesting, he considered.

She grips the sink, harder. She also makes a mental note not to make too much noise because they are in a public setting. Yes, with Leo she was inside a car outside but this time things are slightly different she’s in the airport, getting it on with someone who’s had eyes on her for a long time. She doesn’t know what to expect of him in terms of what he can do to her given the current situation she finds herself in. She should be fine, she likes to think this way.

"Just like that, please don’t stop."

He asks her "you like that or you could use some more of my face?"

She spits back "you want me to ride it?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Do we have time?"

"We still have roughly eleven minutes left, so go ahead."

She grabs the back of his head, settles exactly how she feels like she should be using his face like a seat then makes a back and forth motion while trying to keep her composure because his tongue is not really giving her a break like she thought she’d get as if she were in control.

A few moments after she finds herself on her knees, riding his face while she tries to pump his erection with her bare hands, Benimaru somehow forgot how nice acrylics feel on his dick. It’s been a long time since he’s had a wild night similar to the one when he had been summoned at the Palais de la Démesure. He sometimes wishes he were summoned more often but oh, you cannot have everything you want in life now, can you?

Anytime she tries to wrap her lips around his head, he makes her jerk slightly forward with his tongue skills. When she finally does engulf him into her mouth, he lets out a sharp inhale. As she bobs his length up and down he grips her hips harder and sucks on her clit to the best of his ability one could think it has somehow become a competition to see which one of them is going to make the other come the fastest.

When her much awaited release washes over her, her first reaction is to put her hand over her mouth and she remains there, shaking for nearly three minutes atop Benimaru’s face. 

"How are you?"

"Better than ever, great I must say!"

"How much?"

"We ended before the actual time so we have five minutes to freshen up, look somewhat presentable not like we were fucking and off, we are."

"I never had someone make me come like that just using my clitoris, only.

I wanna know where did you learn that."

"I can ’t tell you where or who I learned it from all. I can say is that I am thrilled to hear you enjoyed that. I would gladly give you another clitoridian orgasm whenever you feel like having one. I am at your service anytime." 

"That’s so refined of you. Is that how you get women?"

"No, not my preferred method to say the least."

"Then, how do you proceed, I’m curious now?"

"Well…" he says meanwhile he buttons up his pants. "May you please remind me how I got you."

"Uhm… I don’t quite remember how that went. I could use a little help if you know what mean."

"Y/n you’re being incredibly hurtful in my opinion. How could you do this to me?"

"I don’t know what you’re talking about."

"I invited you to have breakfast with me, we talked for a bit. I made you laugh and got you on a trip abroad with me. So far, aren’t you enjoying it?"

"You’re right about that. We’ll see that when we’re finally in Paris."

She takes off her panties and discards them.

"You’re not going to wear panties during our flight?"

"They’re soaked. I’m not doing that to her plus, a little wind won’t hurt."

"You’re right maybe, I should do the same."

"No, you should hurry up. I’ll go out first and send you a message when you can come out."

"We cannot be seen exiting this room together."

"Okay. I’ll wait for the message."

On board  

"Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten up your seatbelts."

"What are we going to do once we land there, Benimaru?"

"For the very first few nights, we’ll stay at a hotel if all goes according to plan that is, then later we’ll go to a house that I rented. That way, we’re not permanently in Paris throughout the whole trip because it may be the city of love but it’s not able to fit all of us who wish to be there."

"You meant you wanted to move there someday?"

"I would love to but the housing situation is enough to provide me with a decent headache, I don’t need that on a daily basis."

"Oh, I get it but maybe you should try moving to the suburbs. I’m sure you’d find your happiness there."

She’s probably not wrong. I’m sure one can find a nice place within an hour difference from Paris.

Meal

"The baguette is rather stale, if you ask me. The salad’s okay, the camembert too, a glass of wine, the onion soup with and we got macarons for dessert. I think I’ll ask for a bowl of ramyeon* later in the day, I know I’ll be hungry.

"What did you get?" 

"I opted for cantonese rice, a side of pickled okra, a pudding and I also have boxes of chocolate." 

"How did you get chocolate?"

"Complimenting the flight attendant goes a long way…" 

"You’re telling me I should do the same?"

"No, I have two boxes, one for me and the other for you."

"Can I see the goods?"

"Here you go."

"Normally, we have Cailler*, Läderach ag*, Toblerone* and Lindt*."

"Oh, how I love Swiss chocolate!" 

"I know you do."

"Should we share?" 

"Only if you want to."

"Swiss liquor ones or petit beurre*?"

"Why not both?"

"You’re right," she lets out "we should treat ourselves."

You both bite them. Now for the Swiss liquor, you popped one into your mouth.

"Y/n you have something on your upper lip."

You look at it, you can’t see what he’s just mentioned. He said "I’ll get it for you."

He approached your face, touched your upper lip with the pad of his finger and then kissed you. It caught you by surprise, you gave in didn’t even fight back.

"What was that for?"

"I was always told that chocolate liquor tastes better if it’s comes from someone else’s mouth so I wanted to put it to test."

"You’re trying to impress me or did I miss something?"

"We can try it again if you want to, you can kiss me this time."

"Beni～ is it because you didn’t get to do it earlier?"

"It probably is."

"We should watch a movie together."

"Then, I’ll leave the choice to you."

"That’s okay with you?"

"Of course! Why wouldn’t it be?"

"You think my seat has enough space for us?"

"I’m sure it’s the case. We should get comfy."

"Are you sure the flight attendant is not going to catch us?"

"We aren’t doing nothing illegal Y/n, just watching a movie."

"I’ll sit first, you sit on me and get the covers."

"What did you pick?"

"You’re going to see."

"Paprika or Tokyo godfathers?"

He doesn't answer. He does love how you keep asking him what you're going to watch. It's amusing for him.

Midway through the movie, your head peacefully rested on Beni’s chest while he stroke your thigh aimlessly just reeling at how much he wanted this brief moment to last.

"Do you like it?"

"Yes, it’s a bit hard to follow but I think I’m getting the hang of it."

"I’m happy to hear that."

"I told you to pay attention to it and you’re getting sleepy on me. No can do."

His dominant hand snaked right into your panties while the other delicately fondles one of your boobs. You were about to protest but the way he does everything in sync makes it die on your tongue. 

You feel encouraged to rub your bud against his fingers while he smooches behind your ear.

"Beni～," you managed to utter between each moan he dragged out of you.

"Yes!" 

"You’re going to continue even if I stop, right?"

"By all means, my love. You’re paying attention to the movie?"

"How can I- -"

"Tsk, I told you to keep your eyes on it."

"You’re being so mean!"

"I’m not, I’m giving you some relief before tonight’s much needed rest."

"What happened to the Beni I met at my place before coming to the airport?"

"Never heard of him. We can talk about him if you want to…"

"Such a joker."

Shower

"I can shower here."

"Yes, you can. I’ll ask the flight attendant to show you where it is."

"Oh that’s wonderful. Are you going to do it too, Benimaru?"

"No I’m good, I’ll shower when we get to the hotel."

"I was wondering I think we should go to the Louvre museum." 

"Oh you’d like to go there. No problem." 

"You rock!"

"On the first day or can it wait?"

"Maybe on the second or the third even…"

"You’d like to go by yourself or be in company of someone?"

"You have somewhere to be?"

"No, I’m just asking."

"I would like it to be with you."

"We’ll do that."

In the shower while everything has been going perfectly well, you’re suddenly hit with a wave of sadness when you’re washing up. The goods you’re using on this flight smell exactly like ones Leo wore the first time you two ever met. It feels wrong to remember him fondly when a few hours earlier you were sitting on Benimaru’s face and he made you come like that. Is it greedy of mine to want both of them doing unspeakable things to me? I’m sure it isn’t, you laugh it off. For the time being you should enjoy your deserved time in Paris by Beni’s side. Everything else shall fall into place.

When I go back to my seat, I observe Beni reading a book and proceed to ask him: "What are you reading?"

"Oh, you’re done how was it?"

"Wonderful, nothing like a hot shower to make me feel better."

"Glad to hear that. I’m reading Izana, a folklore story that deals with the legend of the girls born on the year of the horse. Some sort of curse condemns their existence and the only solution as cruel as it may sound is to kill the kid to inhibit them from bringing misfortune to the village. It was a common practise of clan superiority traditions but it’s extremely nefarious so it has died down to a certain extent."

"Wow! I didn’t know you liked folkore stories like that. I’ll add that to my reading list for this month."

"It will be a wonderful read, I assure you."

"I don’t doubt it."

Bedtime

"No, I’ll make your bed for you. After all, that’s the service you paid for."

"You did, Benimaru?"

"Yes, love."

"Sorry then."

"I was wondering if can I get some infusion before bed?" 

"Indeed, is there anything like flavour you’d like to have?"

"Chamomille would be wonderful, that is if you have that."

"Definitely! I’ll check but I’m ninety eight per cent sure we have it."

"Here is you infusion, would you like some sugar with it or honey?"

"Honey would be lovely."

"Here you have it. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Everything was perfect. Thank you."

"You’re welcome, please, do not hesitate."

"I suggest you rest as much as you can, we have an eventful day tomorrow."

He kisses her forehead and tells her "Goodnight love."

Breakfast

At last we get to have a proper Parisian meal which is made up of the mandatory classics like a croissant, pain au chocolat, tartine with jam and butter. A double shot espresso coffee with a dash of milk. And for the fiber, a fruit salad.

"We’ll arrive at Paris in a bit less than two hours."

"I can’t wait for it. I am so excited."

"We’re currently at the airport. We’ll most certainly eat before we get to the hotel. I ordered a few of my men to get me a car but given it’s weekday time and peak hours for traffic jams, they’ll be here in about an hour."

"Got it."

"What should we do then?"

"We can get some snacks for the time being the hotel check in is only at eleven roughly."

"Let's go to a drugstore then I have to stock up on sunblock and I should also get me some nuxe products."

"Lead the way, I’ll follow you."

"What do you think of this?"

"It smells really good, you should buy it."

"If you insist…"

Get some sheet masks because this flight dried up my skin terribly. 

Perfume should I pick vanilla or strawberry? I don’t feel like choosing so get both. I know he’ll like it, anyway.

"To Lapis Lazuli* we go." 

"It’s not in Paris, it’s nearby and what do you take me for a pigeon maybe?"

"Hotels in the very centre of the capital are a pain in the ass, I don’t like that type of hassle. I picked somewhere not so well know so that way in two days or so we can leave for the house I rented."

"Mother why are you trying to monitor your son who’s on a trip with the girl he loves?"

"That’s my job."

"Don’t you have more important matters to attend at the moment?"

"Like what for example?"

"I don’t know, maybe not worrying about me?"

"Okay, darling bring me some souvenirs and take care of that girl you cherish so much."

"I will, bye mother."

Someone gently wakes you from your slumber. You really don't feel like opening your eyes and he didn't want to wake you up since you were serenely sleeping. He has to.

"Y/n, Y/n, can you hear me, love? I’m so sorry to wake you up, we’ve arrived at the hotel. I know you must be knackered but try to be awake at least for the check in. As soon as we’re done with it, I’ll carry you to our room."

"Okay."

Honestly, you don’t know what came over you back in the car. One could guess the sound of the engine was enough to lull you into Morpheus soothing arms. It felt nice to rest on Beni’s shoulder, he’s such a gentleman he even covered you with his jacket.

After a little much needed nap which lasted over three hours and a half, you decided it was time to let the girls know if you made it to Paris. You let out as soon as they pick the phone up in your best French accent:

"Je suis à Paris, les nanas*!"

"I’m jealous," Marjorie said. 

"I wish I were a squirrel," Theresa added.

"Lordt, what have I done to deserve this?" Bianca drammatically uttered, she continued with "Girl, where the Eiffel Tower at?"

"Yeah, let us see that," Theresa announced.

"Word!" Marjorie claimed.

"I will when I get there, I promise." you told them.

"How’s our new knight, babes?" Theresa asked.

"He’s good?!"

"Or is he," she widens her eyes, "better than Leo?" Bianca inquired.

"Uhm… hard to compare them like that." You answered.

"Oh, our girl needs time." Marjorie declared.

"Yup, evaluation period is necessary." Theresa disclosed.

"Girl is that a hickey on your pulse point?" Bianca asserted.

"Shiiit… he don’t waste time!" Marjorie added. 

"Like you said, he don’t." Theresa suggested.

"He hella fast!" Bianca replied."

"A lot has occurred!" you shyly added. 

Marjorie had a 'ah' moment where she smacked her fist on top of her other hand. She communicated the following thought "You fucked in the plane?"

"You living’ la vida loca, if you did. No judgement, babes. I'm not God's servant and don't plan on becoming one." Theresa highlighted.

"Oh, heck yes! Girl, you better get it." Bianca championed.

"No, he had me ride his face in the airport." You finally let them know.

"Hello 911, I would like to report depravity in a public restroom. Please, make sure to be here in fifteen minutes…"Marjorie joked about it.

The other girls are cackling on the phone way too hard and honestly you also ended up getting teary eyed with all this laughter. Good times!

"You livin’ the dream. I hope you really sat on it." Bianca implied.

"Tell us more, you ouchtea living that erotica book lifestyle!" Theresa stated.

"I swear I’m not. I feel a little lost." You uttered.

"About what?" Theresa suggested.

"Spill the beans, babe." Bianca voiced.

"We’re listening." Marjorie delivered.

"Leonard seems like a past thing now. I know I asked for a break but I can’t help and sometimes see him in Beni." You said.

"I think I know what you mean."Bianca estimated.

"You’re not wrong for thinking that." Marjorie conveyed.

"It’s not something to worry 'bout. I'm sure the future has something better in store for you." Theresa responded.

Benimaru knocks on the door. He asks:

"Y/n, we’re leaving for an afternoon tea in half an hour." 

"Girls, hold on. I’ll be back in a few."

"Okay. I’ll be ready by then."

"May I come in?" 

"Yes."

"I just need a few documents for a business partner who happened to come. I won’t bother you for long."

She goes back to her phone and Bianca really shouts on the phone, 

"Is that him?"

"Girl, being discreet never been your forte." 

"I second that."

"Yes, it is."

"Make him say hi, I’m tryna see something."

"Beni?"

"Yes, my love."

"Would you mind saying hi to the girls on the phone?"

"It would be a pleasure, honey."

"Just so you know, Bianca is the girl with curly hair, Theresa has a mullet Marjorie is the redhead."

"Okay. May you let me see them?"

"Undoubtedly."

She puts the phone in front of him and he pulls her closer to him "Hi, I am Beni, the man who’s currently taking care of your friend abroad."

"Pleasure to meet you Bianca, Marjorie and Theresa!" 

"Waouh! He looks so good like that." Marjorie acquiesced.

"Is that gel on your hair or something else?" Bianca questioned.

"No, it’s wax. Thank you for noticing."  And he winks at her. What is he doing?

"You’re treating our girl right, right?" Theresa inquired.

He looks at her "Am I treating you right," he grabs her chin and caresses her lips with his thumb, "sweetie?"

On the other side of the line, the girls are going off with their much awaited exclamations such as "Lord!! This is way to hot. Am I currently in the city called hell?" Marjorie said.

"Damn it gurl, he really had to pull that move on us? Called us single in many ways. I feel ashamed now." Theresa uttered.

"Jeez… I got a man but to be pampered that way is a dream." Bianca replied.

For a few minutes it was as if the girls never made part of the convo so they waited for an answer you never gave. It was him who told them.

"I’m sure I'm taking care of her fairly well. As you can see she forgot to respond you and if it’s not the case, she’ll let you know. That way you can get me back on track, isn’t that right, girls?"

Theresa: Absolutely! 

Bianca: No problem! 

Marjorie: Got it! 

"See, your girls have your back Y/n. Now, if you excuse me.

 It was lovely to get to meet you guys. I hope we can meet in person, sometime. I have some matters to attend. I wish a wonderful afternoon to all of you."

And with that he leaves, giving you a forehead kiss in the process.

"That’s how he treats you," Bianca added "you a lucky bitch, I have to admit."

"Girl… I want that lovey dovey too," Marjorie communicated. 

"Let me put spirit on speed dial for you gurls, do not waver. I got you."Theresa said.

"Theresa thank you for saving us,"both Marjorie and Bianca answered.

"What’s planned for now?" Theresa questioned.

"Oh, we’ll go to a tea place later."

"Ooh, nice." Bianca blurted.

"Don’t forget the pics." Marjorie reminded her.

"Have fun!" Bianca enthusiastically yelled.

"And tomorrow, we’ll go to the Louvre museum."

"Sis! Switch places, asap!" Marjorie cried out.

"What are you saying, Marjorie?"

"Don’t listen to them, Y/n just live it up."

"I’m heading to my pilates class so, bye babes. Take care."

"You’re instructing now?"

"Yes."

"Congratulations Bianca! I knew you would make it."

"Imma doze off after being on night shifts for the month you know, tryna make ends meet…"

"I get it, you should get your well deserved rest."

"The online sales are doing a bit too well so much that I can barely keep up with orders. I’m grateful for my efforts are finally paying off."

"You’re so right, I’m happy for you. Love you."

"Me too."

"See ya!"

"Bye."

Now, I’m left with choosing the outfit. I think it’s safe to check the weather to avoid any unwanted surprises and maybe a hoodie. It looks windy out here and don’t want to risk getting sick, I’m not taking any chances.

"What do you think about this dress?"

"Whatever you put on will look divine on you."

"Really?"

"Surely!"

"You’re not really helping, you know that?"

"Sorry. I’m a simple man for a lot of stuff."

"No need to apologise."

I’ll put on boots with the fit just because it looks better. A lil’ make up nothing too extravagant and fix it with the setting spray.

"Can you twirl for me?"

"Why?"

"I just want to admire your beauty. Is that too much to ask?" 

"No." You proceeded to executed what he told you to do. You twirled on your feet. When you're back to your initial position, facing him, he proclaims the following about you: "You look divine! Sometimes, I do wonder why is that I didn’t get you for me only, sooner…"

"Why is that?" You beamed with curiosity.

"Because we look great together."

You have to acknowledge him. He doesn't lie. A quick glance on the mirror facing his back and you two do look magnificent as a pair.

"We do."

"And I love to watch your body quiver with pleasure."

"You want me to tell you everything I adore about you, too?"

"If you feel like it go ahead."

"You're being cocky, stop it."

"I love being cocky. There's nothing wrong with that plus I get to watch you being under my spell. What more could I ask?"

"I think we should get going."

At the tea place un Quatre quarts*, you followed Beni and the waitress to a room he reserved for the both of you.

"This way, we’ll be on our own and have a little privacy."

"This place is so cozy. I love it."

"I am delighted to hear you do. The owner is a friend of mine whom wanted to become a firefighter because it was a job her parents admired so much but her passion was baking and watch people eat her creations. So naturally, she seized the chance to become what she was truly made for."

It’s the first time you’ve seen Beni talk about someone else with such eulogistic manner and that allows you to watch one his his many facets appear right before you. Yes, Beni’s hot and all that (without a doubt) but it’s extremely refreshing to see him being so affectionate towards someone else other than you. It almost makes you want to sit on his lap and kiss his forehead. Something that Leo never triggered like emotion: being proud of the one you’re currently with. Wow, it did render you speechless.

"We should take a look at the menu, I’m sure what they have is also really good."

"Sure. If it’s as good as you, I’ll bite." 

"Earth to Beni? Beni, do you hear me?"

You waved your hand in front of his face, "Beni are you even listening to me?"

You try again "Oi!"

"Yes."

"What got you smiling like that?"

"You."

"Oh, really?

"Why would I be lying to a pretty girl like you?" 

"Okay, I get it. Do you plan on embarrassing me the whole time?"

"Beautiful beings should be appreciated with all my praise. I’m making sure I don’t miss mentioning it very often."

"My handsome man."

"I’ll get a strawberry sponge cake and a dandelion tea, I think trying a financier* is good too."

"That sounds delicious. I’ll get a jambon beurre* because it’s been so long since I’ve had one. With a double shot of espresso."

"How do we get to call the waiter?"

"Press on the button present on the middle of the table, one of them will come right up."

Your both enjoying your meal you got a bite of Beni’s sammy and decided you wanted one too. You also fed him a bit of your food and he smiled with all his teeth showing. So cute, you thought.

Someone is coming to your table. By the way they’re dressed, you can grasp that they work in the kitchen of the establishment with a high hair up do, a neat rouge on her lips and a winged eyeliner trait neatly done to die for. 

What’s the most striking about her face is the fact that she has heterochromia which makes her even more charming. Her left eye is blue while the right one is green. Like how can one be that beautiful? Girl I feel like rubbing my eyes to check of I’m not seeing things…

"Annelyse!"

"Benimaru!"

"How have you been?"

"Is that how you greet a childhood friend, huh? You come to Paris but don’t even think about contacting me beforehand?"

"Aw, come on don’t be so harsh on me?"

"Harsh, bruva* you don’t got any manners and you’re talking about me being abrasive on you? Revalute your choice of words for all that is deemed sacred!"

"Okay, I’ll do that."

"And much rude of you not to introduce me to the beauty sitting in front of you?"

You’re saying that about me… well, well, well, look at you? I’m starting to second guess myself about men?

"I was about to get to it."

"Then…"

"Her name’s Y/n L/n." 

"The infamous university girl you were rad* about? Took you long enough to finally date her, were you scared or someone scared you? She asks him never taking her eyes off of you. 

"My pleasure to meet Benimaru’s" she mouths "obsession." 

"Same."

"You may ask me anything you feel like knowing about him. Please, do not hesitate."

"Annelyse! I thought you were on my side."

"I never said the contrary so… Stop imagining shit!"

"Her beauty is…"

"I know what you mean. The term you’re looking for probably is enthralling or should I say bewitching."

"More the last one than the former."

"She stole some of my high school girlfriends to let you know about the tea."

"She did that? How could…she do that to you?"

"Didn’t she have her eyes on you while she was talking to me?"

"Yes."

"What did you feel when she was looking at you the way she does?"

"Oh, that’s you you mean…"

"Exactly, that’s how she gets them."

"How many?"

"I can’t actually tell you. You’d think I’m a serial dater if I tell you." 

"No, I mean it’s fine by me."

"Did you ask Leo that?"

"No, he told me without me asking matter of fact why do suddenly mention Leo You got beef with him."

No, I had a plate of seafood boil with him. If I tell her this, she'll probably sulk the whole time we're here. I better not act childish right now.

"Why are you siding with someone you’re on a break with?"

"That’s not what I meant."

"I can’t and won’t have beef with him. It would be stupid of mine."

"May I know more?"

"Indubitably! Look up Palais de la Démesure and tell me what you think about it after you’re done reading what you’ve found online. Just a warning, you might not like what you see. One thing is certain, you won’t ever ask me about me being jealous of another man, ever again. It won’t cross your mind."

"We’ll meet Annelyse later this week because there is something she wants to show you. Are you okay with it?"

"I mean why wouldn’t I be okay with what she has to show me…"

"Did you have the time to look it up?"

"Yes, a little."

"What have you learned about it, then?"

"It is a common event and matter in your life alongside Leo’s one." 

"Did you look for the translation of the terms?"

"No, I didn’t."

"Wouldn’t you like to know? Curiosity hasn’t stricken you yet?"

"Go ahead and just deliver…"

"Wild Palace or the Palace of Excesses. A place where all of your wicked fantasies shall become true as there is no place for the term undoable to echo in those rooms." 

"Honestly, sounds like a good time for me! How do I enter there?"

"You can’t. You have to be summoned by the person who’s the current owner of the place."

"Do you know him?"

"No, no one does. Apparently, he’s a regular man like many of us but each year brings about a new owner. Something about the constant change makes the place more modern, one could say."

"You liked the time you spent there?"

"Yes, it was phenomenal." 

"I would love to hear it, sometime."

Back at the hotel

I reminisce vividly of it.

How can one forget a whole week spent with other four men and a woman whom was willing to be used as our personal fuck toy? Of course, there was no way for us to know who she was, what’s her government name or even if she was an inhabitant of the city. We were just told to please ourselves to our hearts content as long as we respect each other in an environment where pleasure and bliss are keywords.

That year, a woman of high ranking was the owner of said palace which made circumstances highly advantageous for women. I must salute her for her proactive measures. Women were the centre of attention and I personally loved that for them. She had also added another rule which was If the woman you’re currently with tends to have more sex with you than all the other guys it could potentially mean that she might want to spend a week with you only and you’ll be assigned to a private suite for such doings, of everything follows through, naturally.

Later on

While browsing on the web about what Benimaru had told me about. I fell upon one porn link. I didn’t really specify what it was or who starred in it but I could get a vague feel that it was amateur type shit, you know, the good stuff which is not staged.

On the screen I see such a voluptuous black woman getting it on with five masked men. The thing is I don’t even know why but somehow wish it were me getting thrown around like that. Yes, she’s livin’ her best life, that is certain but the way she’s on them?? Wow, teach me your ways, girl! She’s got three dicks in her, she’s jerking one with her and has another man who sandwiched his dick between her tits. Long story short, I’m not even halfway through the video that Benimaru barges in the room talking ‘bout "Have you seen my glasses?"

I throw my phone ‘cause I’m not got hide it right and act like I actually am looking for it with it.

"I don’t know," she stammers "hum, where did you leave them?"

"On the night table, normally." 

"Okay, I’ll go check if it’s there."

"Is it a grey box?"

"Yes."

"Here you have it, check if it’s inside, you never know."

He does it. "Thank you love and he kisses your lips." That unexpected move really caught you off guard. And he leaves just like that.

And I go look for my phone right where I threw it. Next plan, I can see her now bouncing on three peens while the other two men jerk their manhood as she keeps her mouth open with her tongue out. So raunchy, yet it’s making your panties wet. 

The end of the video is topped with a bukkake* scene but what’s new honestly, when it comes to an orgie. I’m left drier than motherfucking saltfish before it is plunged in water for its saltiness to go away. 

I know I wanted more than anything a sugardaddy yet after watching this, I’m starting to revaluate my choices. I’m young after all so I should get all the fun I want. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Benimaru is fine but I don’t mind getting another man to take care of me like Leo used to.

I still have his number on my phone, it wouldn’t hurt to call him. I’m just checking how he is doing without me… 

On the other side of the globe

"And that is the main reason why we should review the budget for our next big hit. Mister Burns, are you here with us?"

He doesn't really seem like he's in his element…

"Yes, as always excellent presentation Hay Linn, I will excuse myself for now. 

If anyone has questions regarding the matter, please, do not waver contacting me or Hay Linn here present. We’ll gladly get back to you as soon as possible.

And with that you’re all dismissed."

Two employees chit chat about their general feels concerning their very first year working for Leonard's company:

"Did you see? Ceo Leo is so nice, I’m so happy we have a boss like him!

"Heck yes, you’re so right about that."

Look, he’s looking rather gloomy these past few days. Does anyone know what happened?

"Sugarbaby gate."

"Oh, that."

"Without a doubt. It has to be it." 

"Wait, isn’t that field always like full or maybe shortage has ravaged it?"

"I don’t think it’s that simple…more like he might have to let go of someone he really liked."

"I don’t feel like talking about it anymore. Gon’ make me sad and shit."

"Same here."

Leonard Burns sits down at his desk and runs his hand through his luscious white hair. This day hasn’t been his best but he must remain focused, otherwise rumours will spread like wildfire about him and his rather blue face.

As he tries to cheer himself up to the best of his ability, his phone starts buzzing on his desk. Who could it be at this time of day? He doesn’t have any planned phone calls he quickly checked his schedule before eventually answering that phone call.

"Good afternoon."

"Hello! Am I on the phone with," she pauses before uttering the following terms, "Sir Leonard Burns?"

"Yes, the one and only. How may I help you?"

"Oh, now you’d like to help me. How gentlemanlike of you. Have you forgotten me, perhaps?"

"I’m not sure what you mean, miss. Are you sure we have met before?"

"I am or maybe I should’ve said Daddy Leo?"

"It’s you Y/n, how are you doing? Are Paris and Benimaru being kind to you?"

"I’m a little hurt because you didn’t remember me right away. I am doing well, thank you for asking. Yes, they’re treating the best they can. How are you, my Leo?"

But I somehow know you'd treat me the best as always…

"I’m doing okay, I guess…"

"I know we are on a break but I miss you. I diligently hope we can meet as soon as I land back there. There’s a lot of things I have to let you know.

And you can’t do that on the phone, am I right?"

"As always, you’re so alert."

"You planned to torture me on the phone with that mellifluous voice of yours all day long or you’re going to let me go?"

"I’m not keeping you captive, baby unless you’d like me to!"

"You’re playing with fire Y/n, I advise you not to do it."

"But what’s wrong if I like doing it with you, daddy? Are you going to spank me when I’m back? I’ve grown to like the sting I get each time one your firm hand lays a hit on my delicate skin."

The worst bit of this call is that Leonard is fighting so hard not to get a hard on because that's the last thing he would like to deal with while he's at work, in his office. Yes, people will knock on the door before entering but if he gets one, he'll have to tend to it on the spot.

"I will if you want me to."

"That’s what I like to hear. See you when I’m back then, rawr…"

"I’ll see you then, Y/n."

Chapter 6 of After all, it's not a bad idea to get a sugar daddy 

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Bugsnax headcanon: If grumpuses are jet pilots

After playing Ace Combat series for a long time, I was thinking of a headcanon of which aircrafts the grumpuses would be manning. FYI Those who are absent wouldn’t be willing to be a a pilot due to several reasons. Endgame spoilers warning!

Filbo: He would be pretty much a YH equivalent to PJ (Crow 3) from Ace Combat Zero: The Belkan War, as he’ll show up in a F-16C “Fighting Falcon” (multirole). However, despite the aircraft’s well-rounded capabilities, it doesn’t really help much considering Filbo would pass out from g-LOC. Or worse, feel nauseous while piloting. He’s better off as an WSO (weapon systems officer) while the Journalist does the job for him.

Wambus: F-4 Phantom II. Despite being an old multirole fighter (like the pilot as he’s hitting 50′s and his body is no longer able to withstand such high amount of g-force), it makes up for its payload and great range while performing well for air superiority and taking down ground targets. By any chance, Triffany would be his WSO (kinda like Monarch and Prez from Project Wingman).

Chandlo: For someone who want an attacker that withstands lots of punishment while causing the most damage as possible, he’ll look no further as the A-10 Thunderbolt II (albeit modified into a 2-seater) is ready to suppress ground forces while turning them into swiss cheese thanks to its gatling gun. The only downside, however, is the mobility at higher altitudes as it kinda handles like a boat with wings. Thankfully, it comes equipped with reinforced armor to compensate the shortcomings. As usual, Snorpy will be his WSO, especially due to the latter being prone to anxiety when piloting an aircraft even if he’s good at it.

Elizabert and Eggabell: SU-47 “Berkut” and SU-37 “Terminator”. Fittingly, they’ll be pretty much a dead ringer to AC6′s “Garuda Team” in addition to working together to take down targets: Either confusing the enemy by flying in synchronization or one of them acting as a bait while the other would pursue the target. Like “Gelb Team” from AC0, they’re equipped with specialized missiles that are fired backwards while sending them a lethal “No U”. Y’all may wonder how the hell did Liz got her paws on a prototype with forward-swept wings (presumably a fully-functional replica since only one real-life SU-47 was ever made before the actual project was cancelled). While Eggabell ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed, she’ll do the best to keep up with Liz as long the latter’s aircraft doesn’t let her down.

By the way, as a nod to the endgame, they’ll be known under the squadron name “Hydra Team”.

Alegander: Surprise, surprise! Considering his organization’s secrets were being revealed by the Journalist, the events have led him to snap to the point of becoming obsessed in taking down the latter (totally not a poor man’s equivalent of Project Wingman’s Crimson 1). In a similar vein to Anderi “Akula" Markov from AC: Assault Horizon (minus the game’s heavy scripting and plot armor), he’ll whip out a heavily refurbished SU-57 “Felon”. A cutting-edge stealth fighter which has excellent firepower, maneuverability, defense, speed and “quick maneuver air-to-air missiles” that will put a hell of a fight against any target. However, due to his age he can’t handle a such high amount of g-force while suffering from “greyout” when pushing his aircraft too hard.

“Yo Snorp-dawg, (you) still alive?”

[im-overstimulated-and-im-sad]

good morning my bestest friend in the world 🧡

i must warn you i am coming to you post 2/4 night shifts where i haven't taken any naps during the day so i may be delirious currently and apologize for my moldy swiss cheese brain and everything I'm gonna say here probably won't make any sense lol

i am presenting you with my favorite soft tarlos hug because this is me hugging you from hundreds of miles away!!!!!

i love you so so so much and if i ever find your managers i am coming to bite them (in a non affectionate way) and fight them 🤺

i am proud of you, your worth is not defined by your job, you are the sweetest and most caring person i am so overjoyed to have gotten to know. 🧡 if they can't realize how amazing you are they are dummies!!!

i'm so sorry you're having a hard time right now. i wish i could make it all better, i am casting positive vibes your way!! ✨

this is all really incoherent at this point, i am off to bed now and wishing you the best day!!! 🧡

remember, pumpkin, pepper, puffy and i love you 🥰

(i just realized all our cat names start with p lol)

okay im really going now

also you dont have to post this if you don't want to because i probably sound like an idiot and if you don't want to be seen as having dumb friends i get that lol

OKAY IM REALLY GOING NOW IM OFF TO BED HUGS AND KISSES BESTIE MWUAH

How dare you make me cry again before I have to leave- the audacity-

For real though, I don’t know how I got so lucky to have a friend like you- I can already say reading this is the highlight of my day.

I wish that I could put it into words better but I love you so much-

You are the absolute best around 🫶🫶

I needed this so much today you beautiful human ♥️♥️♥️

(I have no idea how the first gif got there but now I can’t get rid of it the second one is the one I was trying to put here- really foaming at everything 🫣)

[firesmokeandashes]

Hello, and happy Blorbo blusday!! I'm well *checks clock* 1h late gasp! As an excuse I can only say that today I have been packing and I forgot it was Thursday. (As usual I am @writeblr-of-my-own) ANYWAYS. For today's question, I'd like to know about food preference and cooking skills of your blorbo(es)! What can they cook, what they like to eat, whether they are good in the kitchen, or better away from it and close to a fire extinguisher!

Hello! Happy belated Blorbo Blursday!

Today, it seems the gang will either be cooking in a kitchen or burning it down TwT

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Jordan isn't really a cook, though he can make a few basic meals without setting the house on fire. But his real skill is baking! His Chocolate Haupia pie is to die for. Even his Tina and Tinamatua nod their head in approval when Jordan served it to them.

Unlike Jordan, Amelia isn't very good at baking. But she is a wizard when it comes to cooking! Anyone who has tried her food will tell you so! From traditional Irish dishes to spaghetti and meatballs, she either knows how to cook it or will learn how to. But her favorite dishes to cook for her friends, family, and herself are colcannon and potato soup.

Nala, on the other hand, should not be trusted to make anything other than toast, cereal, scrambled eggs, and a basic sandwich. Otherwise, she will burn down her entire house, and the neighbors!

Aiden is the opposite of his girlfriend when it comes to things in the kitchen. Not only can he cook, but he's also pretty darn good at baking. He can cook all sorts of traditional Brazilian/Portuguese dishes. From, feijoada, picanha and

Kaine is an okay chef and a semi-decent baker. He knows how to make a few basic meals like soup, spaghetti, and meatloaf, and can bake things like cake, cookies, and cupcakes without burning the house down. Though he did set a batch of cookies on fire once. Butt hey! Doesn't every baker at one point set something on fire?

Martha will just straight up burn the house down. And she knows this, but somehow, her mom and Grandmother just can't seem to get it through their heads that she should not be allowed in the kitchen. Because no matter how many times Martha says she can't cook or sets a dish on fire. Her mom and grandma will drag her back into the kitchen and try to get her to cook.

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If you would like to read more content about the gang click one of the links below!

The gang going to a fantasy world

The gang going on a car trip

And a special thank you to @writeblr-of-my-own for the tag and my bestie for helping me research dishes for Aiden to cook :)

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So, I asked my best friend to help me research the traditional dishes for Aiden, and she copied down the recipes for them, so I told her to send them and that I would use them here. So, here's some traditional Brazilian and Latin recipes that my best friend found for me TwT

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Corned Beef Empanadas With Pickled Cabbage Slaw (Curtido)

The traditional way to enjoy corned beef is usually boiled until tender with green cabbage served with potatoes and carrots.

FOR THE EMPANADA DOUGH:

1 CUP SHORTENING MELTED

6 OUNCES COLD LIGHT BEER

1 ½ TSP BAKING POWDER

1 TSP SALT

3 TO 3 ½ CUPS FLOUR (PLUS MORE FOR DUSTING )

1 LARGE EGG, PLUS 1 TABLESPOON WATER (WHISK TOGETHER FOR EGG WASH)

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FOR THE EMPANADA FILLING:

OLIVE OIL

½ RED ONION, DICED

1 CUP WHITE POTATOES, PEELED AND DICED

1 CUP CARROTS, PEELED AND DICED

1 JALAPEÑO, MINCED

1 CLOVE GARLIC, MINCED

4 CUPS COOKED CORNED BEEF, CHOPPED (ABOUT 1½ POUNDS)

2 TBSP APPLE CIDER VINEGAR

½ TSP PEPPER

SALT TO YOUR TASTE

4 TO 6 OUNCES SWISS CHEESE, SHREDDED

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FOR THE EMPANADA FILLING:

OLIVE OIL

½ 
RED ONION, SLICED THIN

1 POBLANO PEPPER, DICED

1 ORANGE BELL PEPPER, DICED

1 JALAPEÑO PEPPER, MINCED

1 CLOVE GARLIC, MINCED

1 CUP SHREDDED CARROTS

5 CUPS SHREDDED RED CABBAGE

5 TBSP APPLE CIDER VINEGAR

SALT AND PEPPER TO YOUR TASTE

¼ CUP CILANTRO CHOPPED

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Steps:

Add the cold beer to the melted shortening, and stir gently. Add the baking powder, salt and gradually add in the flour until the dough forms. Transfer dough onto a lightly floured surface and knead until smooth, adding a little flour. The dough should be a little tacky but not sticky. Transfer to bowl, cover and set aside.

For the filling, preheat 2 tablespoons of olive oil to medium heat. Add the onion, potatoes, carrots, jalapeño, and garlic. Cook for 8 to 10 minutes or until potatoes are soft. Add the corned beef, vinegar, and pepper. Stir well to combine, season with salt to taste. Remove from heat and let cool. Once cool, fold in the shredded cheese, cover, and chill until ready to use.

When the filling is cooled and ready, preheat the oven to 395ºF. Roll 24 dough balls, transfer them to a plate, and cover them loosely with plastic wrap. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper and set aside. On a lightly floured surface, roll out each dough ball to about 5 inches in diameter. Fill with 3 full tablespoons of filling, fold over, pinch, and seal. Transfer to a baking sheet. Slice a 1/2 slit on top of the empanadas, and brush with egg wash. Bake for 30 to 35 minutes on the lower rack of the oven until golden brown. Move the pan of empanadas up to the middle of the oven and broil for a minute or until the desired browning is reached.

While the empanadas are baking, prepare the curtido (slaw). Preheat 2 tablespoons of olive oil to medium heat for a few minutes. Add the onions, poblano pepper, bell pepper, jalapeño, and garlic. Cook for 6 to 8 minutes. Add in the carrots, cabbage, and vinegar. Toss to combine, season with salt and pepper to taste. Cook for just another minute, fold in the cilantro, cover, and remove from heat until ready to serve. Serve empanadas with the curtido.

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Sopa de Res con Fideos

This soup normally takes more than two hours to get the stock nice and rich with the broth from the bones. That said, this is not the “full” version of the way the soup is actually made; this is the “condensed” version. Still, it's a recipe that uses many ingredients that are typical to Puerto Rico.

Recipe:

1POUND BEEF SHANK

1POUND BEEF CUBES

4 CUPS BEEF STOCK

2CUPS WATER

1GREEN BELL PEPPER CUT IN HALF AND SEEDED

1 SMALL ONION CUT IN HALF AND PEELED

2 CLOVES GARLIC

1 RIPE HASS AVOCADO CUT IN HALF AND SEEDED

2 MEDIUM-SIZED CARROTS DICED

1 MEDIUM-SIZED YAUTIA DICED (THIS IS ALSO KNOWN AS MALANGA OR TARO), OPTIONAL

2 SMALL POTATOES DICED

2 TABLESPOON TOMATO SAUCE 1
BAY LEAF

1 TEASPOON DRIED OREGANO

8 OUNCES FIDEOS OR FINE EGG NOODLES

SALT AND PEPPER TO TASTE

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Steps:

1. Season your meat, both beef shank and beef cubes. I use my adobo seasoning mix which I make homemade, but you may use your own seasoning. Just make sure that you remember this will be covered with beef stock plus water, so you will have to season it well so the salt doesn’t wash away.

2. In a large kettle or Dutch oven, pour your broth and water in with the seasoned meat, then add bell pepper, onion, garlic cloves and celery. Bring to a boil. Cover and simmer on moderate to low heat for about an hour.

3. Transfer the vegetables to a blender and blend (use caution and place a damp towel over the opening so as not to have a catastrophe) until it turns into a puree (excluding the celery, you’ve just made a partial version of recao!) BE PROUD, BE VERY PROUD!

4. With a sieve, pour this puree back into the soup. You just want to extract the liquid, not the solids.

5. Now add in your carrots, yautia and potatoes. Gradually bring to a boil. Taste for salt and add pepper to taste. Add the oregano, bay leaf and tomato sauce.

6. Stir to mix in added ingredients. Cook over moderate high heat, stirring occasionally, uncovered for about a ½ hour more or until the potatoes, carrots and yautia are tender.

7. Add the noodles (fideos) and cook until they fideos are al dente.

𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷𖧷

Grilled Beef Ribs with Brazilian-Style Salsa.

FOR THE RIBS:

1/4 CUP COARSE STEAK SEASONING (CHECK LOCAL STORES FOR A BRAZILIAN STEAKHOUSE BLEND)

1/3 CUP GRAPESEED OIL OR OLIVE OIL

3 TABLESPOONS RED WINE VINEGAR

1 LARGE LIME JUICED

SALT TO TASTE

2 POUNDS BEEF RIBS BONELESS, IF AVAILABLE

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FOR THE SALSA:

1MEDIUM GREEN BELL PEPPER DICED

1BELL PEPPER ORANGE OR YELLOW, DICED

1/2 RED ONION DICED

3 LARGE ROMA TOMATOES DICED

1/2 CUP PARSLEY OR CILANTRO, CHOPPED

2 TABLESPOONS AGAVE NECTAR OR HONEY

1 JALAPEÑO MINCED

1/3 CUP RED WINE VINEGAR

2/3 CUP OLIVE OIL

SALT AND FRESHED CRACKED PEPPER

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Steps:

1. In a bowl, mix all of the ingredients for for the marinade. Let sit for 10 minutes.

2. Transfer ribs to a baking dish and cover evenly with marinade. Cover and marinate for 4 hours. 

3. When ready, remove ribs from refrigerator and let come to room temperature for 30 to 40 minutes.

4. Prepare your outdoor grill for indirect cooking. This means you will only light one side of your grill, so there will be a cool side and a hot side. Preheat to medium-high heat with the lid closed. The grill temperature should be between 350-400º F.

5. Brush the grates to clean and then brush with some oil on the hot side. Place the ribs on the hot side just long enough to get a nice sear on all sides, 3 minutes per side. Transfer the ribs to the cool side of the grill and close lid. Cook with lid closed for 1 hour and 20 minutes.

6. Transfer ribs to a small metal baking pan or disposable baking dish. Cover tightly with foil paper and place back onto cool side of grill.

7. Cook for another 50 to 60 minutes or until ribs are tender. The internal temperature should be at least 170º F. Remove from heat and let stand for 10 minutes. To plate, add a nice even layer of salsa to the plate. Top with the ribs. Garnish with fried potatoes.

The salsa:

1. In a large bowl, combine all of the ingredients for salsa one hour before the ribs are done cooking. Cover and set aside at room temperature.

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Sirloin Steak With Chimichurri

• FOR THE SIRLOIN STEAK

2 POUNDS SIRLOIN STEAK

PASILLA CHILE POWDER OR ANY OTHER MILD CHILE POWDER

GRANULATED GARLIC

SALT AND FRESH CRACKED PEPPER

OLIVE OIL

𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔

FOR THE CHIMICHURRI SAUCE

1/3 CUP FINELY CHOPPED FRESH LEMON BASIL OR REGULAR BASIL

1/3 CUP FINELY CHOPPED CILANTRO

2 TABLESPOON FINELY CHOPPED FRESH OREGANO

1/2 TABLESPOON DRIED OREGANO

1 SERRANO PEPPER MINCED

4 LARGE CLOVES MINCED

JUICE OF 1 LEMON

5 TABLESPOONS RED WINE VINEGAR

1/3 CUP OLIVE OIL

SALT AND FRESH CRACKED PEPPER

ꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬ

Steps:

1. Finely chop the herbs, chile and garlic by hand — it really makes a difference! Set aside.

2. Combine the lemon juice, red wine vinegar, salt, and pepper in a separate small bowl, whisk together, and taste for salt.

3. Combine all of the ingredients, cover and let sit for a good hour or more, stir well before serving and taste for salt. At this time, season the steak on both sides with salt, pepper, granulated garlic, and chile powder, and drizzle with olive oil. Set aside.

4. When an hour has past, position the top rack in the oven about 10 inches from the broiler. Preheat broiler for 15 minutes. Transfer the steak to a foil-lined baking sheet. Cook under the broiler for about 5 to 6 minutes per side for a medium/rare done steak. If you like it more well done, add 1 to 2 more minutes per side. Remove from oven and let the steak rest for 10 minutes before slicing.

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That's it! That's all the recipes! Word for word from what my best friend sent me in a very long text message TwT

Anyways,Im hungry and my hand is beginning to hurt byee!