#reading it now is ... and i hate this word but it describes the feeling... cringe

[skimmeh]

ur old undertale fics are great????? i first read them like years ago but i really like them!!!!! "I'd like to forget that happened" literally gave me LIFE and i never left a comment bcause i didnt know how to use ao3 properly back then im so sorry lmao

🧍...thanks? Haha

I was in a really weird time in my life when I wrote those, so when I read it now I'm like "gowd this kid needed therapy" ...but I'm glad some people got some enjoyment outta them haha

[flowersforbucky]

either way, i'm going your way

logan howlett x reader (worst!logan x reader)

word count: 4k

summary: logan doesn't remember the last time he celebrated valentine's day, and he doesn't have any reason to believe that this year will be any different. then he runs into you, wade's neighbor, who happens to love the holiday despite not having anyone to celebrate it with.

warnings/tags: smut, 18+ only mdni, sex in a public place kind of, oral (m&f receiving), unprotected p in v, logan's pov, neighbor!reader, reader is afab, reader is described as being shorter than logan, no use of y/n, hints of grumpy x sunshine

this is my entry for @yxtkiwiyxt & @lubdubology valentine's writing challenge! thank you both for hosting this, i can't wait to read the other submissions ❤️

logan howlett masterlist

Logan has been alive for two centuries worth of Valentine's Days. He can count on one hand how many he’s actually celebrated, and he can't recall the last time he had a reason to even acknowledge the day.

To him, Valentine’s Days have always been just another Tuesday, or Thursday, or whatever day it falls on that year.

He hates how commercialized the holiday is thanks to the multi-billion dollar corporations that fill department stores with trinkets the second that Christmas is over. He hates all of the pressure and unrealistic expectations that come with planning the perfect date. And as much as he hates to admit it to himself, he hates that it's a stark reminder that he's just as alone in this universe as he had been in the last one.

Technically he can't say that he's entirely alone. Romantically? Yes. Sexually? Yes.

Physically, however, he’s lodged between a blind eighty-year-old cocaine addict and a ten pound living tumor - the latter of whom keeps trying to French kiss him.

Wade might be out with Vanessa for Valentine’s Day, but for Logan, this is any other Friday night – watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire reruns with Al and Mary Puppins.

Something about his current predicament makes him feel even more alone than if he actually were alone. Maybe it’s how unfamiliar and foreign this universe still feels in so many ways – he’s been here for some months now, but there’s some things that remind him that he still has a ways to go in terms of adjustment.

He'd never admit it aloud, but just maybe the fact that he can’t keep his thoughts from straying to a specific next door neighbor certainly doesn’t help. He hates to use the word crush at his grown age, but he can’t really think of a better word for it. If it’s not a crush, why else would he be wondering what your plans are for this evening? Why else would he feel the unmistakable, undeniable twinge of jealousy when he thinks of the mere possibility of you spending your night in the arms of someone other than him?

He has no one to blame but himself, and he knows it. He had the perfect opportunity to ask you out just last week, and he didn’t take it. The two of you were both taking the elevator up to your neighboring apartments when it broke down for the third fucking time in the last month. It took nearly an hour for maintenance to get it back up and running, and he couldn’t find the nerve to simply ask if you have any plans at any point during the time you were trapped in the fifteen square feet of space together. Instead, he awkwardly rambled about he had walked in on Wade and Vanessa in a compromising position the day before.

He cringes at the memory, tossing back another swig of whiskey when he realizes the bottle is empty. He sighs, earning a side-eye from Mary Puppins.

If this is how he’s going to be spending his evening, he should at least be a little intoxicated.

“I’m going to the liquor store,” Logan announces as he transfers Mary Puppins from his lap to Al’s before standing up from his position on the couch for the first time in hours. “You need anything?”

“Pick me up a couple of scratchers and a pack of Newports.”

Just her usual requests, then.

Logan throws on his leather jacket, dreading the cold and dreary February night but willing to face it for a bottle of bourbon and some cigars. He’s been out of those since yesterday, so a trip to the nearest convenience store is much needed, anyway.

The door to the apartment complex’s singular outdated elevator is sliding to a close when Logan hears a familiar, feminine voice call out.

“Hold up!”

Logan immediately pushes the hold button, freezing the door in place. A second later, you appear in the doorframe. You’re slightly out of breath, with a relieved expression on your face.

“Thanks,” you greet him as you lean against the wall of the elevator, smoothing your hands over the fabric of your plaid skirt. “I’m running late to my dinner reservations and really didn’t wanna have to take the stairs in these.” You glance down at the heels of the uncomfortable looking thigh high boots that you’re wearing.

Uncomfortable looking and hot, he thinks, before your words sink in. Dinner reservations – of course you’d have plans tonight. He feels a slight pang of disappointment (and jealousy, if he’s being honest with himself) at the realization, but he isn’t surprised.

“Well, let’s cross our fingers that we don’t get stuck in here again and that you make it to your date on time,” Logan says with a forced laugh and smile as he pushes the button once again to close the door, followed by the button that says lobby.

“Oh, no. Not a date,” you correct him quickly with a bashful grin. “Well, maybe. Is it considered a date if I’m dining by myself?”

“You’re going to dinner by yourself?” Logan asks, unable to hide the surprise in his tone. “Looking like that?”

Your eyes widen in shock. “What’s wrong with how I look? And what’s wrong with going to dinner by myself?”

“Nothing!” Logan begins to backtrack when he realizes how his questions came across. “You - you look great. I'm just a little surprised. Would’ve assumed that you had a date tonight is all—”

He trails off when he realizes that you’re pursing your lips together in an obvious attempt to hide a smirk. The mischievous glimmer in your eyes gives you away.

“I’m just fucking with you, Logan,” you snort with a playful slap to his arm. “I know it’s a little unconventional to take yourself out on Valentine’s Day. But I’ve always loved the holiday despite being painfully single, so I thought why not? Better than sitting at home and sulking all night.”

The corners of his lips threaten to twitch upwards at the words painfully single as he contemplates the rest of your response. He can’t help but admire your way of thinking. He was content with staying holed up inside the apartment and drinking himself into a stupor, but he can’t deny that your outlook on the holiday is far less depressing and boring than his.

“What about you?” you ask as the elevator comes to a stop with a melodic ding. You exit, looking back at him over your shoulder. “Are you on your way to your Valentine’s plans?”

He chuckles at the question. For a second, he considers lying to you. He considers telling you that yes, he is on his way to pick up his date right now, just so he doesn’t have to tell you the truth – that he’s on his way to buy bourbon, cancer sticks, and lottery tickets for him and his elderly roommate. But with his luck, you’d run into Wade tomorrow and he’d open his big fucking mouth about how Logan actually spent his night, and the thought of that is even more mortifying than telling you the truth to your face.

“Not unless you count making a liquor run as Valentine’s plans,” he sighs, averting your gaze as he opens the door to the apartment building for you. “The only thing I plan on doing tonight is listen to Althea scream at her game shows.”

You come to a stop outside of the apartment building, wrapping your coat tightly around your chest to fight off the chilly night air. There’s a peculiar look on your face that Logan can’t quite read – something between amusement and hesitation.

“You could have worse dates, I suppose,” you laugh.

“That’s true,” Logan agrees. “At least I have Vanessa to thank for a Wade free evening. But I’ll let you go, don’t wanna make you late for your—”

“Do you like Korean barbecue?”

Logan freezes, taken aback by the question. He snaps his mouth shut, realizing he’s staring at you like a deer in the headlights.

“Korean barbecue?” He asks lamely. “Don’t think I’ve ever tried it.”

He’s had barbecue. He’s had Korean food.. maybe? He’s been alive a really long time, he’s sure he’s had Korean food at some point in the last two hundred years.

But he can’t say that he’s had Korean barbecue.

A nervous looking grin appears on your face, and you cross your arms over your chest before taking a small step towards him.

“Are you hungry?”

••••••

All it takes is one look at the table that the host takes the two of you to for Logan to realize that he has indeed never had Korean barbecue.

You don’t appear to be the slightest bit confused so he assumes that the circular grill built into the middle of the table is normal, though he’s never seen anything quite like it in a restaurant before.

You giggle when you notice the curious expression on his face.

“It’s kinda like hibachi,” you begin. “Except instead of someone cooking it in front of you, you cook it yourself.”

Logan takes in the array of various meats on the tray to the left of him. You pick up a piece of what appears to be some kind of beef with a pair of tongs, and place it on the grill. It sizzles, and he watches as you add a few more pieces of meat onto the hot surface.

“Isn’t that kinda the whole point of going to a restaurant? To have someone else cook the food for you?” He asks the question as gently as he can, not wanting to hurt your feelings. He’s just happy to be here with you – even if he doesn’t fully understand the appeal of going to a restaurant to pay to cook your own food.

“It’s about the experience,” you explain with a shrug. “To be fair, when most people come to a Korean barbecue restaurant, they usually come with a group of people – hence the large amount of meat.” You nod towards the arrangement of the meats that have yet to be cooked.

“It’s a social thing. But all of my friends had plans with their significant others tonight, so…”

You trail off as the server places another tray on the table – this one covered in various colorful side dishes that he’s definitely never had before. He wouldn’t exactly describe himself as adventurous when it comes to trying new foods – for the most part, he lives off of ham and cheese sandwiches and frozen TV dinners. But he tried shawarma when he’d first arrived in this universe and ended up loving it, so he’s determined to try a bite of everything on this table.

“Sounds like it’s a good thing that you ran into me, then,” Logan murmurs when the server walks off.

You take your eyes off of the pieces of meat that you’re paying careful attention not to overcook, looking up at him through your lashes with a soft smile.

“I'd say that you’re right about that.”

••••••

Despite the breeze and the chilly night air, Logan feels perfectly toasty on the walk back to the apartment thanks to your tight hold on his arm and the wine that you had insisted that he try.

He'd learned a lot tonight – a lot about you; your hobbies and your interests. He’d learned all about Korean barbecue, and that he likes bulgogi and buldak.

Most importantly, he'd learned that he was stupid for ever being nervous about asking you out.

He feels at ease with you. He already knew he enjoys your company from all of the times that you’ve joined Wade’s movie nights and get-togethers – but he’d never been alone with you (with the exception of getting stuck in the elevator with you last week). Wade, Vanessa, Al, Peter, Yukio, and countless others always seemed to be present, making it near impossible for him to get to know you in the way that he’s wanted to since he first met you.

But now, with your arm intertwined with his and the scent of your perfume hitting him each time there is a gust of air, he knows that he is going to do all that he can to keep having moments like this with you.

“I have a question,” you state as the two of you turn onto the street where your apartment building is. Logan glances down at you in curiosity, but you’re not looking at him – you’re looking ahead, your teeth biting into your lower lip.

“What’s that?” Logan murmurs.

You hesitate, your eyes flickering up to him before quickly looking away again. “Did you actually like the kimchi?”

Logan can’t help but cackle, taken off guard by the question.

“That’s your question?” he laughs, thinking back to the spicy and tangy flavor of the fermented vegetables.

You come to a stop next to a streetlight outside of your apartment building, pulling your arm away from his to stand just inches in front of him.

“No,” you admit with a smirk. “Though I am curious about that, too.” You take a step closer to him, your chest ever so slightly brushing against his. He feels his breath catch in his throat at the way that your eyes twinkle in the glow of the streetlight.

“Last week, when we got stuck in the elevator together,” you begin in a low voice. He swears that your eyes flicker to his lips for a split second before meeting his gaze once more. “Were you nervous?”

He thinks back to his nervous rambling in the elevator, to how you looked so pretty that he found it difficult to hold direct eye contact with you, and to how it felt like half of his brain was screaming at him to ask you out and the other half was screaming at him to not make himself look like an idiot.

Yeah, nervous is accurate.

“That obvious, huh?” he sighs.

“Just a little,” you shrug. “But don’t worry. I was too.”

“Is that right?” Logan asks, trying not to give away just how happy the confession makes him. “And what about now?”

He doesn’t have to ask – he's standing close enough to you that your increased heartrate is easy for him to detect.

“Something like that,” you whisper, and before he fully process what’s happening, you’re raising up on your tippy toes to capture his lips in yours.

The taste of the fruity wine from dinner still lingers on your lips. He places his hands on the small of your back, pulling you flush against him. Your hands cradle his face, pulling him down closer to you. The warmth of you is a balm against the brisk night air, making him feel like he can’t get close enough to you. You don’t pull away until you’re breathless, looking up at him with dilated pupils in the florescent street lighting.

“Do you wanna come up to my place?” you breathe, nodding your head in the direction of the apartment building.

“What? You don’t wanna come to mine and hang out with Al?” he teases, nudging you in the direction of the building’s entrance.

“As tempting as that sounds…” You trail off, following his lead.

The second that the elevator door comes to a close, his hands are back on you. He backs you up against the wall, his hands gripping your hips as you spread your legs enough to allow one of his thick thighs in between them. This time, he’s the one who kisses you, wasting no time in slipping his tongue between your lips. You whimper into the kiss, your tongue fighting his for dominance.

It isn’t until he pulls away for air and opens his eyes that he realizes the elevator has come to a stop. It couldn’t have been moving for more than ten seconds –

“Fuckin’ hell,” you groan. “Not this again.”

Logan looks at the panel of buttons to his left. Sure enough, the number reads that you’re still a floor beneath your apartments. He beats his fist against the elevator wall, as if that’s actually going to help the matter.

Still pinned between his body and the wall, you pull your cell phone out from an interior pocket of your coat. You quickly find the number for building maintenance in your call history, but it just rings, and rings, and rings.

“I could probably pry the doors open,” Logan muses as he begins to pull away from you. He thinks back to how it took maintenance nearly an hour to get the elevator back up and running last week, and knows that he wouldn’t have the patience for that now. The thought of having to wait even a fraction of that long to get back to your apartment…

“Let’s not do anything that could potentially put the elevator out of commission permanently, yeah?” You pull him back to you, grabbing his face in your hand and making him look at you. “I think that we'll be just fine right here for a while.”

There’s a mischievous look on your face. Before he can question you, you’re sliding down the wall until you reach the floor. You reach for his belt with your hands, making quick work of undoing the buckle and then the button to his jeans.

Oh.

All Logan can do is stare down at you in wonderment as you tug his zipper down.

“This okay with you?” you ask, but the look on your face says that you already know the answer.

He nods, his mouth suddenly feeling too dry to speak. He helps you shimmy his boxers and jeans down enough for his cock to spring free. He glances around the elevator, double checking that there aren’t any security cameras. Considering this elevator is ancient and doesn’t even function half the time, he isn’t surprised to see that there aren’t any.

You take the base of him in your hand, languidly massaging the length as you tease his slit with your tongue. You lap up the beads of pre-cum before easing him past your lips.

The sight of you on your knees for him is enough to have him twitching in your mouth. Add in how your soft lips and tongue feel working his length, and he knows he won’t last long like this.

You bob your head around him, gagging when his head juts against the back of your throat. You pull off of him, leaving a thick rope of saliva that trails from his cock to your mouth.

He doesn’t think he’s ever seen anything prettier. He could spend hours looking at you like this.

But this isn’t how he wants to finish – in your mouth, before he’s even had a chance to make you feel good. So as much as it nearly kills him to do it, he pulls himself away from your sweet lips and yanks you back up by the tops of your arms. There’s the slightest hint of disappointment on your face, but it quickly disappears when he pushes your coat off of your shoulders and down your arms. It falls to floor, leaving you in still too many articles of clothing for Logan’s liking.

Later, he tells himself. He’ll get you naked later, in the privacy of your apartment, where there’s no risk of the elevator doors sliding open at any given moment.

For now, he settles for pushing the restrictive fabric of your skirt upwards, bunching it around your waist. He sinks to the ground in front of you, splaying his palms on your inner thighs and spreading your legs open for him. He rubs the pad of his thumb over the soft material of your panties, right over your clit. He feels shudder at the sensation, and notices the goosebumps that appear on the skin of your thighs.

He hooks his index finger through the cotton fabric, pulling it to the side. He looks up to see if there’s any kind of hesitation on your face, but you quickly pull him to your center by the back of his head, erasing any doubt. He chuckles lowly, and flattens his tongue over your slit.

Your cunt tastes as sweet as the fruity wine from the restaurant did on your tongue. He eats you like he wants to get drunk off of you, alternating between soft licks through your folds and fervent kisses to your swollen bud.

He feels your legs quiver around the sides of his head. He supports you from below, letting you go all but limp above him. He glances up at you, your head thrown back in pleasure and your chest heaving with ragged breaths.

His name slips through your lips, your voice strained with desperation. He loves the sound of it, and wants more than anything to hear you keep saying it. He snakes one of his hands between your thighs, and teases your hole with the tip 9t his finger. You involuntarily sink down, nudging the tip of it past your entrance.

He groans against your clit at how fucking tight you feel around his finger. God, he can’t wait to be inside you. He pumps the digit, your walls already clenching around him.

“Logan,” you moan from above him. “I’m gonna—”

“I know,” he hums against your clit. “Let go. I got you.”

Your climax washes over you with a sharp cry of his name and Logan mentally prays that the elevator walls aren’t as thin as the apartment walls.

When you go still above him, he reluctantly takes his mouth off of you and stands up. His jeans and boxers are still bunched just above his knees, his erection painfully hard and his balls full. He wipes the excess of your slick from his mouth with the back of his hand, and then begins to stroke his own length in his fist.

“Do you.. wanna wait until we get back to your..?”

“God, no,” you exhale, and pull him to you by grabbing his flannel in your fists.

His lips crash against yours as he nestles himself in between your legs, teasing your slit with the head of his cock. He coats it in your juices and eases into you slowly. You groan into his mouth and he has to try not to cum on the spot.

You’re tight, and warm, and your walls flutter around him just right. He hikes one of your thighs over his hip, deepening the angle before he pulls almost all the way out. He rocks back into you, working up to a steady pace.

The small, confined space is filled with the sound of your body meeting his and the sweet noises you make that are music to his ears. You grip around him like a velvet vice and he knows that he isn't going to last long.

“Gonna cum, honey,” he warns in a grunt next to your ear. “Ya feel too fuckin’ good.”

He feels your walls pulse around him at his words and he can tell that you're just as close as he is. A few more deep thrusts that hit your cervix just right and he’s spilling into you as you cum around him.

When he’s empty, his movements cease but he doesn’t pull out. He nuzzles his face against your throat, pressing kisses to the soft but sweat-slicked skin.

“Happy Valentine’s Day to us,” you murmur in a borderline delirious voice. He laughs, pulling back just enough to press his lips to yours.

“Mind if I still come back to your place? I know we just…” He trails off, glancing down at where he’s still tucked inside you. “But I just realized I forgot to pick up cigarettes for Al and she isn’t gonna be too happy with me.”

You roll your eyes, and playfully push him away from you so that you can tug your skirt back into place.

“I think I can find a way to be okay with that,” you smirk. “If we ever get out of this fuckin’ elevator.”

not my favorite thing i've ever written by any means, i've been feeling really unmotivated to write and have felt kinda burnt out, but i still wanted to get this out before valentine's day bc if i didn't then i never would have finished it at all, lol. so i'm sorry it's short 😭 hope you still enjoyed

reblogs/comments are always appreciated, thanks for reading!

[scribbledghost]

Hello! I absolutely love all of your writing about the vessels in their manor, especially the poly vessels stuff. I'd love something with poly vessels where everyone except reader has been collared by ii and they want to be collared by him as well but think he doesn't want to, but really he's just been taking things slowly so he doesn't rush or force the reader into anything. Maybe they came to ivy about their feelings first to confide in him. Would love a soft and maybe smutty ending with ii <3

Note: typically in my fics it's the reader doing the collaring, so this will be an interesting shift lol. Thank you for sending this in! Tags: GN!Reader, collaring, oral (m receiving), penetration from behind (cringed typing that but it's the only way I can think of to describe it without gendered terms lmao)

Collar

"Can I ask you something?"

IV instantly looks over at you. The two of you have been wandering around the manor gardens for a bit together, a frequent activity for you both, but something has been eating at your mind for some time now. You haven't yet developed the courage to speak directly about it to the vessel in question, but IV is particularly easy to confide in.

"This is about II, isn't it?" he asks smoothly.

You keep forgetting your thoughts aren't secret unless you will them to be around here.

"I... yeah, it is."

"He doesn't hate you, you know."

You sigh. It's not that you think he hates you - his behavior is more than enough to reassure you to the contrary - but there is something that you continue to be reminded of on an almost daily basis:

Everyone except for you bears some sort of collar from II.

Vessel has more of a necklace, something to still symbolize his connection with II but without the constrictive nature of standard collars. III and IV have more traditional ones; black leather with metal rings on the front (though II has threatened more than once to add a bell to III's to "keep an eye on the jackass").

Meanwhile, II himself bears a single necklace that sports three keys. None of the others' collars have locks and can be removed at will, so the necklace he wears is a purely symbolic gesture on II's part. Something about how it "wouldn't feel right to have them tied to him without something to tie him to them in return".

But he's never approached you about getting one yourself. You've been in a courtship with the rest of the vessels for months now, but it has yet to come up. You don't want to push too much for it, instead choosing to deliberately think about it every so often when II is around. But nothing has ever happened. At least, not yet.

"You need to talk to him, you know," IV finally says. "Out loud."

You have to admit he's right. Thinking up conversations, while more than feasible with the vessels, can't always cross the kind of barriers you need to cross.

You find II in his study later that evening, reading over Vessel's latest offering and beginning to write the drum portion of it. You hear him faintly tapping at his desk as he works out the rhythm he wants. On his desk sits his mask, discarded for now.

You can come in, you know, his voice finds you through your mind. Don't have to stand out in the cold.

Gently, you walk over to him. He turns to meet you, taking your hand and pressing a kiss to your knuckles as he looks up at you.

What's on your mind, dove?

You don't particularly have it in you to say it out loud just yet, so you project to him instead.

Why haven't you given me a collar yet?

II looks at you, an unreadable expression on his face. He stands from his chair, hooking a finger under your chin to ensure you look him in the eye.

Do you want one?

Yes, you answer plainly.

"Say it then," he says aloud. "Use your words."

The tinge of dominance in his tone sends heat crawling up your face.

"I want a collar."

II smiles at you, using the finger under your chin to guide your lips to his.

"Then a collar you shall have," he says. "Give me a few days to find one. I want it to be perfect."

"You don't have to if you don't want to," you blurt out without thinking. This causes II to pause, furrowing his brows slightly.

"What makes you think I don't want to?" he asks softly.

You stumble over your words, finally managing to convey how you didn't think he wanted you to partake in that aspect of your relationship considering he hadn't brought up the subject himself yet.

Oh love, II projects to you as he pulls you in for a kiss. It's not that I didn't want to. Just wanted to take things slow. Didn't want you to feel like you had to do this.

He pulls away from you only to tilt his head forward and rest his forehead against yours.

I'll work on finding you one today. You'll know when I have one.

It's three days later when II summons you to his quarters. You're with III at the time, and he gives you a knowing look when you take your leave.

II is standing in the middle of the room when you find him, one hand behind his back and his face maskless as he extends his other hand for you to take. You place your hand in his, and he leads you to his desk, atop of which lay a selection of skeleton keys.

Pick one, he says as he stands behind you, one arm wrapping around you to rest his hand on your stomach.

"Pick one?" you ask aloud. II kisses your neck and projects to you again.

I picked yours, he says. You pick mine.

The keys on his necklace. Of course.

You look over the keys for a few moments, never once feeling rushed or as if II is in any particular hurry. He gently rubs his thumb back and forth on your stomach, resting his chin on your shoulder. Your gaze keeps returning to one key in particular: a medium-sized brass one, a simple design aside from a small sapphire inlaid in the stem of it. It reminds you of his eyes.

You pick it up, turning in II's hold to present it to him. He gives you a soft smile before bringing his hand out from behind his back to present you with your collar.

It is also a simple design. It could be mistaken for a regular choker necklace if one didn't realize what it was for; a thin leather band, with a silver o-ring in the center, and hanging from the ring is a silver pendant of two crossing scythes. It's simple and discreet, yet still a symbol of what the two of you mean to each other.

"It's perfect," you breathe, and II seems to sigh in relief.

Turn around, he says, and you obey almost on instinct. He places the collar around your neck, adjusting the buckle tighter and looser depending on your feedback until it feels snug, but not constrictive. Just to make sure it's not too tight, he slips two fingers beneath it before allowing you to turn back to face him.

He hands you the key you've chosen, and removes the necklace that bears the other three from around his neck. He extends it to you for you to take, and you gently thread your key onto it before he turns his back to you as well.

It takes little time for you to drape the necklace over him and re-fasten it around his neck, after which he turns around and brings his hands up to your jawline. II brings you in for a kiss, then another, then another. As he pulls away from you, he hangs one finger from the ring in your collar, not quite tugging you but rather settling as a weight.

You wanna give this a go now, or wait until later? he asks. You gaze at him, his pupils dilated and his features soft.

Now, you reply.

II gives you a grin, his sharp canines gleaming at you.

"Beautiful."

He guides you to the bed, sitting down at the edge of it as he tugs at your collar.

Kneel.

You obey on instinct, settling onto your knees in front of him. His legs spread, and you can see the imprint of him in his pants, already hard with a noticeable wet patch.

II tugs down his pants, just enough to release his cock to the open air. Leaning forward, he hooks a finger into your collar and begins to bring you forward.

Open that pretty mouth for me, he instructs, taking himself in one hand and guiding your mouth to him.

He keeps perfect control over your pace with a grip on the collar. Any time you attempt to move too fast, he gently pulls you backwards until you slow to his preference. The weight of him on your tongue, coupled with the scent and taste of him, sends a shock of arousal pulsing through your veins. The sensation is only heightened when you hear low groans and throaty growls coming from the man above you.

However, II doesn't wish to come down your throat. Not this time.

Alright, he says after a time, once again pulling you back and off of him by the collar. On your feet.

You stand slowly, limbs stiff from remaining in one place. Your hands find II's shoulders as you stand between his legs, and he leans forward to press a kiss to the center of your chest over your clothes. He says nothing as he disrobes you, helping you step out of your pants and underwear before lifting your other garments away from your torso.

On the bed, love, he says after a kiss to your collarbone. Hands and knees. Present yourself for me.

You do as he asks, feeling vulnerable and exposed, but not necessarily in a negative way. You can feel II's appreciative gaze from behind you, enhanced by the bridge to his mind. A soft hand grazes the skin of your ass before he trails it up your back and to your collar. He turns it until the ring is facing him, then grips it to ground you.

"Ready?" he asks aloud. You attempt to nod, but the collar keeps you in place, so you hum in the affirmative.

II enters you slowly, combining the use of his hips with the pull of your collar to help sheathe himself fully. His breath is shallow as he stills, allowing you precious time to adjust to the girth of him.

Fuck, you look so fucking good like this, he praises. That collar feel good still?

You once again give him an affirmative hum, unable to think of much else besides the feeling of fullness and the pressure of the leather band against your throat.

He starts slow, letting you feel every inch of his cock as it drags through you. You allow yourself to let the rest of the world fall away, leaving just the two of you in your thoughts. Nothing else matters right now, only II and his movements.

Over time, his pace increases, and the grip on your collar gets more firm. One of II's hands finds your hip, helping to bring you back onto him. After a bit longer of being at his mercy, he shifts, pushing at your collar instead of pulling, sending your head and upper torso down onto the mattress below. His other hand comes to rest next to your head, helping to take some of the pressure off of your neck to ensure your airflow is never cut off.

Touch yourself, he commands. Wanna feel you come around my cock like this.

Your hand moves of its own accord, your mind empty except for the bliss coursing through your veins. II's pace has increased to a fever pitch, helped along by his particular inhuman ability of speed. The knot in your core tightens to a nearly unbearable degree, and it only takes one slight tug of your collar to make the coil snap.

You come hard, vision blurring at the edges as you cry out. II slows somewhat, allowing you to stave off the pressure of overstimulation while still chasing his own high.

The cycle continues again, however, and you come twice more before II's pace even begins to falter from its steady rhythm. Suddenly, he drapes himself over you, pressing his weight down over your back as he keeps a grip on your collar. With one final press, he buries himself to the hilt, a deep groan reverberating from his lungs as he fills you.

Little noise can be heard now aside from your heavy breaths, coupled with the quiet sound of II's lips against your skin from behind.

So good, he projects to you. Did so fucking well, dove.

You bask in the glow as II slowly removes himself from you, padding over to the attached bathroom to fetch something to clean you with. He'd already prepared a glass of water on the bedside table, though how you missed it until now will remain a mystery to you.

II returns, sitting next to you on the bed. He runs a gentle hand over your skin before he begins to tend to you, his touch so soft it nearly puts you to sleep. No words are said, none are even projected. Just thoughts of care, tenderness, and appreciation.

The keys around his neck catch the light every so often, reminding you that he belongs to you just as much as you belong to him.

[darlingdaisyfarm]

hey! im sorry to make another post like this, but i feel like i need to say some things. because honestly, if i don’t, i won’t be able to move on from it.

further text under the cut because i don’t want to flood your feed with this

when i posted that anon message, i wasn’t expecting.. well, anything, really. i just felt very awful, i dumped my feelings out because i got emotional and i was ready to just delete this app and not come back. i thought, okay, that’s it, i embarrassed myself for the last time, im done. but when i came back, suddenly there were all these kind messages from people telling me they care, and i think it’s only because of you all that i’m still here. you all mean so much to me, i don’t think i’ve ever felt this supported in my entire life. i don’t know what i did to deserve this kind of kindness, but it means everything to me. so thank you, thank you so much to everyone who didn’t just walk past me when i needed it the most, i really needed to hear that. i cant help but smile when reading your words. i appreciate each of you.

the truth is, that anon text hit me like a knife to the chest. and i hate that it did. i hate that i let a random person make me feel sick about my own hobby, my own blog and everything i’ve ever shared here. but the thing is i’ve always felt this way. hesitant, always unsure if i even have the right to take up space here, i guess a lot of that comes from the friendships i used to have.

because ive always been that friend. the one who listens, who gives. who’s always there when someone needs to vent, to cry, to talk about their passions, struggles or random thoughts. and i never minded, i loved being there for people. but when i tried to share smth about me, it was always met with indifference. like what i had to say wasn’t worth anything. and after years of that, i started believing it myself. even now, posting this, i still feel awkward. like, it’s hard for me to even write this without thinking, should i delete this before anyone sees it? that’s where the anxiety comes from and it’s smth im still working through

so when that anon said what they did, it was like hearing all of my worst thoughts spoken out loud. as if they reached inside my brain, pulled out every insecurity i’ve ever had, and threw it right in my face. ive always felt like im being too annoying. i know i post a lot, but every time i cant help but feel so cringe about it. and i fight it because i dont like being constantly embarrassed for just being myself, but it’s exhausting.

so yeah, when i saw that message, i just felt so damn embarrassed about everything, like i was making a fool of myself this entire time and just didn’t realize it and i hate feeling that way.

and the part that really got to me was the comparison. it hurt more than anything, it made me feel like no matter how hard i try, ill never be enough, that all the effort, all the time, all the small moments of pride i let myself have were just misplaced. i know I’m not perfect, i know there are better writers, faster writers or just people who seem to create more interesting ideas or plots or describe characters way better, but i didnt mind? i mean i was just trying to find space where i can express myself without fear, but then that comparison just made me feel so sick of myself. like “oh look, they’re better, so mb you should just give up.” it made me feel like i don’t have the right to take up space here at all

its hard to explain, but that comparison just made me feel like i was less than

i wouldn’t say i’m a perfectionist, but i am very critical of my writing. i put a lot of effort into my stuff, especially since english isn’t my first language. it’s twice as hard to make sure my sentences are right, that i didn’t mess up the grammar, that i used the right words. and when you pour so much effort into smth and then someone just comes and shits all over it, it kills any desire to create or continue smth. makes you feel like maybe you shouldn’t create anything else. hell, i know that sounds dramatic, but that’s how it feels. and i hate that i’m letting this ruin smth i loved

and the part about taking too long to update... i don’t know what to say to that, i’m not a machine, i write when my brain lets me. when i have an idea, an image in my head, when i feel inspired. and i did have inspiration. i spent a whole week writing that last fic, actually enjoying the process, i felt proud of it, which is rare for me. excited to share it with people. and for what?

and the worst part is, i was planning to start posting my art too. i wanted to finally get out of my comfort zone, to share smth i’ve been afraid to share for so long. but if this is the kind of reaction i get for just writing, then what the hell is gonna happen when i post art? i blocked the last anon who sent me hate, so this is someone new then? meaning there’s two people now who actively dislike me enough to go out of their way to make sure i know. and i know, i know, i shouldn’t care about whether people like me or not. but fuck, it’s hard, i’m a professional overthinker, and unfortunately, i don’t think i’ll be quitting that job anytime soon.

i already had so much going on in my personal life. so much i was trying to get off my mind by being here, writing, sharing things that make me happy, talking with people. and then i open this app and see that, and suddenly it’s like, what’s even the point?

i know i’m being a sensitive crybaby. i hate to be this way. and i get that it’s the internet, and people can be jerks and assholes. but i REALLY don’t understand how much poison you have to have in yourself to send this hateful shit to a complete stranger. i just don’t get it. i’ve never left hate on anything, not even on stuff that isn’t for me. it just feels so pointless?

and as for the thing about Stan’s speech in my fics - im not american. english isn’t even my first language. and you have no idea how much effort it takes to get his voice even close to what it should be, he is one of the hardest characters for me to write. so fuck you, anon, you suck. genuinely

but... as much as that anon’s words gutted me, the kindness i received in response meant even more, it reminded me of why im here in the first place. to share things i love, to create, to talk with people who actually care. what im trying to say is thank you for making me feel less alone. i’m honestly just.. overwhelmed, in the best way. i was drowning in self-doubt, and your kindness and support pulled me out. i don’t take it for granted. i love all of you ♡♡ ive read all your messages, and ive never felt SO damn appreciated

[nanaminsmoon]

hey hru :) can i request connie x reader being both hyper sexual but reader chose celibacy so the sexual tension is always high and the make out a lot and connie can’t take it anymore

now how did you know that i was thinking about this like an hour before you suggested it?🤨 anyways i'm good and i hope you like it fren🤭

cw: horny!connie x celibateblackfem!reader, pnv, phone sex, masturbation (f+m), connie calls reader; 'ma', 'hermosa', 'my good girl', ('gorgeous), 'cuero' ('whore'), 'mételo, ma' ('put it in, ma'), 'despacio' ('slowly'),

wc: 3162 + lazily proofread bc i'm tired lol

your celibacy had started long before you met him. after wasting your time with too many useless men, you decided to focus on yourself which led you to the decision to try and avoid sex until you were dating someone for, at least, two years. as good of an idea as it seemed at first, you couldn’t help but grow to hate the hastening of your heart each time you had to tell a guy you were feeling about your somewhat ‘extreme’ decision. luckily you only had to do it once, before you met the man who could only be described as your worst match; connie springer.

connie had a reputation that proceeded him, and a long line of women who would do anything for him because the dick was just that good. the first time you had met connie, one of his friends had brought up his nickname, ’cuero’. and once you found out what it meant, you hid your shaky voice with a small laugh. but, contrary to what you had thought of him, connie didn’t really care about you being celibate because he just wanted to be with you. though it took a while to get used to, he made sure he respected your decision and adhered to all your boundaries surrounding physical affection.

but sweet gestures would be layered to hide the bitter truth. that being, connie had never been through anything as difficult as this in his life. his friends called him dramatic, but he told them that they would never understand how infuriating it was to be laid next to the prettiest girl he had ever seen, his borrowed shirt moving up her body, and her thong doing nothing to cover her skin. all of that meaning that the warmth of her ass would just be pressed up against him, as he squirmed and cursed under his breath. for the first time in years, connie’s cheeks and ears rouged at the heat radiating off a woman’s skin, growing at the place you two connected to engulf him whole. he felt like a teenager again in the worst way possible; once natural mannerisms became awkward, words stumbling over each other in a way that made him cringe. there were too many times he felt like you could read his lewd thoughts as he watched you perform mundane tasks like getting dressed. but you had never noticed the way he observed you, wondering what you’d look like clothed in lip marks, accessorised with hand shaped stamps on your ass cheeks.

unbeknownst to your boyfriend, he wasn’t the only one having a hard time. celibacy had been a fairly simple journey until the day you stumbled across a fine dominican speed bump. now you worried about catching him as he came out of the shower, towel loosely hanging from his hip bones as steaming droplets of water slid down the valleys on his toned abdomen. or the dreaded times where he’d wear those stupid fucking compression shirts, with those stupid grey sweats and nothing underneath. when ovulation week rolled around, everything your boyfriend did felt like a taunt to you; sleeping in just his boxers, smacking your ass, kissing you, even the way his tongue and fingers moved as he rolled his blunts had you crossing your legs and shifting in your seat.

it had gotten to the point where making out wasn’t cutting it anymore. and that’s how you and connie’s sex life began to escalate. one night, your hormones got the better of you so you called your man in need of relief. excitement was audible in his voice when he picked up the phone, but it would soon be substituted with a panic that would seep out of his pores, when all he could hear was you breathing heavily. but, something in his brain told him not to say anything so he remained quiet as he listened intently. that’s when he’d realise that those heavy breaths were laboured, and probably caused by whatever was buzzing in the background.

”i need you to put a baby in me, pa”, you had suddenly broken the silence, and a deep breath left connie’s mouth. he’d have to shift in his seat to calm himself down, but it’d do absolutely nothing.

”you can’t say shit like that, hermosa.”, he replied through clenched teeth. luckily he had just sold to his last client of the day, so he’d stay on the phone as he drove into an empty car park. within seconds, his dick would be in his hand and his own breaths would harmonise with yours over the phone as he fucked into his hand, and talked you through your nut.

prior to that day, the furthest you had gone was kissing. whether it be in his car, in bed, on the couch when you’re meant to be watching a movie, or even when connie would join you in the shower to kiss on the wet skin on your neck, you had never crossed that line. it was definitely difficult when he’d be stood right behind you, his bare dick touching your cheeks and all, but you’d always keep it together. that was until the day you were sat on his couch, getting ready to watch a tv show together. everything was fine, until connie went to wrap a blanket around you. it was something he had done many times before, but this time was different; due to your proximity, his breath was going straight into your ear, and it’d grow uneasy as you maintained eye contact. the sound of his breath picking up was reminiscent of the times you’d fucked over the phone, and the salacious memories were making your eyes gloss over. connie could read you like a book; he wouldn’t even reach the second page before his hand would be on your thigh. it’d linger on the warm skin before it’d move up your shorts, while he connected his lips with the skin on your neck.

when he finally did pull back, connie would place his lips on yours in a kiss that was sweet…until it wasn’t. its romantic feel would fade out as soon as he heard you moan when he put his tongue in your mouth. and, once he felt your hand so high up on his thigh that it was practically touching his dick, he would throw away all regard for where his hands were—they’d start grabbing anything they could. discernment told connie to pull away, because your lips were shooing the blood in his head to the place between his legs. yet, it’d all go ignored. instead he’d pull you onto his lap and smile against your mouth when you just let him. the wetness between your legs would rub against the hard length about to break through his boxers as your hips moved on top of it. all that could be heard in that room was heavy breathing, quiet moans, and the sound of connie’s hands occasionally landing on your skin to smack your cheeks when he got bored of massaging them.

the feeling of your hands on his nape, and running through his short buzzcut, travelled throughout connie’s body to will his hands to pull you down onto his bulge as he began chasing any form of relief from you. still lost in how bad you wanted him, your hips would subconsciously help connie by moving faster. and it wouldn’t be until he pulled away from your lips to lean his head back on the couch that you’d be alerted of your actions. they’d immediately cease, and connie wouldn’t get what was happening so he’d be kissing on your neck,

”it feels so good, ma, just keep movin’ on me”. that request would be met with you moving yourself from him completely. judging by the pensive look on your face, connie knew exactly what had happened and remorse began to wash over the arousal he had once felt. soon his hands would wipe his face, before he placed one on your knee.

”i’m sorry, y/n.”, he quietly apologised, ”i…i don’t know what the fuck happened. i guess i just lost myself”, he picked your hand up, and kissed your knuckles repeatedly. of course it wasn’t just him, you should’ve known better too, so you shook your head and pulled him in for a hug.

”it’s fine. i fucked up too”, you chortled before pulling him back and awkwardly going back to watching whatever show you had picked.

and that should’ve been the end of it. but the feeling he had formed in your clit had yet to subside. so when you moved to his bed, later that evening, you decided it was about time you gave him what you both wanted. connie leant against the head board, with you cuddled up by his side and, with your each and every movement, it was clear to see that he was still sensitive after what happened earlier. using that to your advantage, you’d lay your hand on his thigh and, as soon as that contact was made, connie’s eyes would dart to you. just as he was about to open his mouth and question your actions, you got up and climbed onto him. curiosity told him to move his parted lips, but intrigue kept them still as he watched you move closer to his neck. small pecks on his skin would increase in length, as well as intensity, and a few marks would decorate his neck, before you moved on to kiss and suck at his earlobe. that, mixed with the way your hips started moving again, brought back the memories of what had unfolded on his couch a few hours ago.

”y/n”, connie voiced, head still tilted to give you better access to his neck and ear, ”what about…?”, the end of that sentence was unfinished for two reasons; connie didn’t like bringing it up, and he was just too horny to think of the word.

”fuck it.”, you answered curtly, “i just need you so bad, pa”, connie scoffed at you, yet he still wouldn’t move from his position, he’d just place his hands on your hips.

”you sure?”, his eyes opened to look at you, and they’d see you nod softly before you stopped what you were doing.

”i mean, if you don’t want to then we can just—”, you began to taunt your boyfriend, but he’d cut you off.

”fuck that”, is all he said, before he’d flip your positions so you were laying beneath him, and he was stripping your body of anything covering it.

connie had seen you naked many times during the 7 months you had been together, but you would’ve never guessed with the way his eyes were darting all over the place, not sure what to do with themselves. because they were seeing you in a way they had only ever dreamed of—dreams that would end in embarrassment as connie trudged to change out of the moist fabric covering his lower half. but now that you were in front of him, wanting what he did, he would have to take a second to think. then, once he knew what he wanted, connie would move from the bed to rummage through one of your bags. confusion would scrunch your eyebrows for a second until connie returned to your line of vision with your vibrator in his hand. cockiness would stretch his lips into a smirk at the discovery that you were unaware of him seeing it when you were looking for your socks earlier. thinking of all the possible things he wanted to do with it pulled you out of the present moment until the droning sound of the toy brought you back. in the time you had been daydreaming, connie had walked to the side of the bed and when he handed it to you, you’d look up at him to say ”really?”. he’d chuckle as he nodded,

”i need to see what i’ve been hearing for so long”, he explained, and your eyes rolled before they eyed the device as if you’d never seen it before. though you wanted connie, you couldn’t refute the fact that the prolonged buzzing noise exacerbated the wetness between your legs. so you’d spread them, and the way you acted without instruction widened connie’s eyes. they’d stay that way as you used the wand to tease your clit, moaning his name as if he were the cause for the way your thighs were already starting to tremble. and connie’d just watch you; eyes fluttering shut, as you leaned on the pillows and keened his name. he wouldn’t even realise that he was holding his breath until he let out a heavy sigh.

”mételo, ma“, he ordered gently, as he moved a chair and put it in front of the bed. his dick would be in his hand as he watched you do as he said. the calls that he had began to yearn for at the end of every day seemed meaningless in comparison to the display before his eyes; his beautiful girlfriend sprawled out in front of him, legs shaking at a toy she wished was him instead, and a growing patch of wetness on the bed covers underneath her.

”despacio”, connie’s strained voice managed to reach your ears, and you nodded, sliding the toy in you slower to give connie a better view of the slight stretch.

so lost in it all, your eyes hadn’t opened since the toy had touched you—your head had been on the pillows below you, as your back arched off the now wet bed. you’d only pry your drowsy lids open when you felt connie’s hands on yours, pulling the toy out of you, licking a strip of the wetness on it, before throwing it on the bed. he wouldn’t even bother to kiss you as he knelt on the bed, his thumb moving over his raging tip as he positioned himself between your legs. pink, and needing to touch the spot inside you that he knew would drive you crazy, connie’s tip would be rubbed in between your folds to collect as much of your arousal as it could. and, for the first time in too long, connie’s ego would awaken at the sound of the gorgeous woman whining underneath him, toes wiggling aggressively as he teased you. after a while, it started to look like connie was teasing himself; though he had literally dreamt of this moment, he wasn’t rushed. instead, he wanted to take his time and make you feel so good that you would beg him to fuck you every single second of every single day to make up for lost time.

when his tip finally did enter you, it’d still there for a second. it was during that second that you started wondering if you could actually take connie. you knew that he was big, but the thought of actually having to deal with that stretch had always been pushed to the back of your mind. luckily for you, he’d push the rest of his dick into you very slowly. and, about quarter of the way inside you, his forehead would be on yours—already sweaty, and starting to wrinkle in the middle. romance would reintegrate itself during that one second, because connie would connect your lips again, allowing his tongue to dance with yours in a messy kiss that would spur his hips to move again. and, as soon as the sound of his balls smacking against your ass registered in your mind, you’d intertwine your hands at his nape, keeping your lips attached to hide the sound of your moans. connie’d quickly catch onto what you were doing, and pull back from you to shake his head,

”nah, ma, i’ve been waitin’ on this f’r too damn long. let me hear ya.”

connie wouldn’t need to ask you twice because, after that, you gave him exactly what he wanted. and, other than fawning over the way you were cussing using the spanish you had learnt from him, connie was losing his damn mind. this was your first time fucking, and he honestly felt like it was his first time ever having sex because of how hypersensitive his dick was. he could feel every single micro spasm of your walls, and when they intensified to the point where it was difficult to ignore the twitching of his balls as you continuously clenched around him, he knew you were close.

”fuck, ma, how you been keeping this from me?”, he asked at you and you’d mumble out a nonsensical response. all you could focus on was the fact that your release was at the tip of your curling fingers, so everything else was just fading into the background,

”’mm so closee, p-pa, p-pleasee”, you pleaded, and connie pressed your legs against your chest as he fucked into you with more haste.

”need you to promise to never keep my pussy from me ever again”, he demanded through gritted teeth, and you nodded desperately at him, ”’f you wanna cum then you gon’ have to speak t’me, ma”, he kissed his teeth, and you would try your best to gather yourself to start speaking.

”i p-promise i prom-mise pppromise”, you stuttered out, and connie’s smile warmed you from above.

”that’s my good girl”, between the praise, and connie’s dick abusing your cervix, it wouldn’t be long before pleasured tears left your closing eyes as you came around him. and, being a retired man-whore, connie thought he could take it, but he really couldn’t; as soon as you started tightening around him, his eyes would shut firmly as he struggled to move in and out of you.

”shit.”, he whispered, head bowed.

his intentions to make you yearn for his dick wouldn’t be neglected. they’d quickly come into fruition because, even as he filled you with load after load and fucked you in every position his filthy mind could think of, you would still beg for more of him. in the time space of a few hours, you two had gone from trying not to give into each other, to refusing to not be connected in a way that made you both sweat. most of connie felt satisfied with himself, yet a small part feared the monster he had created.

© Rights owned by nanamoonsinc. Do not repost without permission.

[citrusses]

Writer Interview Game

thank you for the tag @houndsinhades! 💛

how many works do you have on ao3? 11.

what's your total ao3 word count? 185K.

your top 5 stories by kudos? all drarry unless noted:

Crush (E, 8K)

Gemini in Retrograde (T, 38K)

Our Objective Remains Unchanged (E, 46K)

The Roommates (E, 3K, Drarry + Sirius/Draco)

Löyly (E, 10K)

do you respond to comments? yes!

what's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? Flesh Memory (Harry/Teddy, E, 11K).

what's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? I think The Pain From an Old Wound (T, 30K) probably has the most romantic ending? Highly subjective. I mostly write happy endings.

do you write crossovers? I have a not-yet-abandoned wip from last year that is kind of a crossover...

have you ever received hate on a fic? My fic Permanent tends to get the strongest reactions, idk if I would call it 'hate.' I am happy with how I characterized both Harry and Draco in that fic, but some commenters end the fic very angry with Harry.

do you write smut? often and with great joy.

have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i know of.

have you ever had a fic translated? @delphise translated Crush into Russian! 💛 translation is incredible.

have you ever co-written a fic before? @wolfpants (you're tagged wolf) and I are working on it! (and we have been DOING our homework this week okay)

what's your all-time favorite ship? i mean.

what's a wip that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? oh :( I am so committed to my WIPs, I really intend to finish them all. De-aged Draco! Slutty Sirius! I WILL write you!

I originally had a very different concept for my Erised that I wrote a decent amount of before shifting focus. It was a quasi-8th year fic where Draco and Harry intern at Gringotts together. A lot of the original bones of the fic made it into the final version. I don't know if there's enough originality left in v1 to be interesting enough for me to finish, but I also feel a bit wasteful leaving ~20K of fic on the cutting room floor. Plus -- Marcus Flint was a presence in v1 and I really enjoyed him.

what are your writing strengths? dialogue is the easiest for me to write.

what are your writing weaknesses? everything else. endings. actually describing what's happening instead of writing like it's a play.

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I enjoy it when a POV character doesn't understand the language (and thus, it's possible-to-likely the reader won't understand it either). However. I cringe sometimes thinking about the Finnish I put in Löyly without getting a native speaker to read it over. Any future non-English language I will have checked.

what's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to? Wolfstar as the main ship! More Teddy, I am really interested in that character.

what's your favorite fic you've ever written? even though i'd change some things about it writing it now vs 2 years ago.... still my eldest child OORU 🚣

ok tagging @hephaestiions @sweet-s0rr0w @tackytigerfic @desertforestfic @garagepaperback @getawayfox @sorrybutblog and anyone else who sees!

[hermiola]

Writer's Meme, 2024 Edition

I've been tagged by @turquoisedata 💜

-------------------------

How many works do you have on ao3?

14. 6 Good Omens + 8 MCU, but we have to go back to 2014 and 2016 for those. I also used to publish on an Italian fanfiction archive where I have 70 more fics (I went back to check and count them after approximately two thousand years and HOLY SHIT, I didn't remember them being so many! My first fic is more than 20 years old WTF).

What’s your total word count?

150.000 words on AO3. But I'm guessing it's waaay higher than that (the Italian archive doesn't show the word count 🥲).

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

My GO fics have the most kudos (given the popularity of the fandom + the fact that they're written in English and not in Italian). I have 6, so the top 5 is basically all of them:

Take a Little Love From Me (Pretty Woman AU)

Final Breakthrough (Now!) (Post-Season 2 Fix-It)

Crazy Little Thing (Called Love) (Non-S2-complying silliness)

When Hell Freezes Over (Human AU with magician!Crowley and critic!Aziraphale)

Let There Be Rock (First meeting after 1967)

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

I do! I don't get that many, so it's not overwhelming, and I just like to respond. As I said somewhere else, my experience in the GO fandom has been mostly a solitary one (recently not so much though!) so I just like to interact whenever I can.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I'm going to consider only the GO ones because I feel like the others have been written by another me entirely (also I'm not sure I even remember them).

So it's definitely Let There Be Rock.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I'd say all of them, but Take a Little Love From has a proper epilogue and everything. I guess their happiness has more space there than elsewhere.

Do you write crossovers?

I have in the past, but not anymore.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not that I know of.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not really. I LOOOOVE reading smut (especially in those chonky slow burn fics), but I can't bring myself to write explicit smut for some reason. I love describing the tension and the heat of the moment (I love UST so much I'm going to marry it tbh - like nothing makes me happier/hornier than two people who want to fuck each other but can't for some reason - am I edging myself? IDK) but when it comes to my own writing I feel like spelling out the details just ruins the moment. I do think it's my ace showing in some way. But, anyway, I read the filthiest filth so this definitely doesn't apply to reading. And who knows, maybe one day I'll try! I'm not ruling anything out.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I used to translate HP fics back in the day (from English to Italian). We're talking 20 years ago. And it's funny when you think about it, because I translate novels for work now 🤣

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, always back in the day with HP. I'm still friends IRL with the girl I wrote them with (we actually met because of HP) (this is as good a time as any to say FUCK YOU JKR).

What's your all-time favourite ship?

This depends on the hyper-fixation of the moment. I cannot multitask with my OTPs. If I get obsessed with a new one, I retire the previous one. Like I could split my life into different time periods just based on my OTPs. Ron/Hermione has been my personality for YEARSSSS, but now I can barely think about HP without cringing. Another BIG ONE was Clint/Natasha from the MCU (which explains my look here on Tumblr), but the MCU as a whole has gone a bit stale for me (with few exceptions). And now it's all about Crowley/Aziraphale - it's so bad I had to unretire from fanfiction writing after almost 10 years LOL.

(I like many other ships but not to the point of *obsession*).

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

The only one I can think of is a Clintasha Actors AU, but I don't think I have it anymore, and I wouldn't finish it even if I had.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogues and banter are my favourite things to write, and I think it shows.

What are your writing weaknesses?

English is not my first language, so my writing lacks variety I think. I feel like I have always the same phrases stuck in my head, so it's probably kind of repetitive, especially when compared to some of the fics I read. (But when I started writing my first GO fic in English I wasn't even sure I could *actually* do it, so I'm proud of myself either way!).

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think it's okay! I personally would ask a native speaker to help me (if possible) instead of going the Google Translate route. Being Italian and watching/reading almost exclusively in English I know how silly it sounds when the characters start speaking your language and they're saying nonsense (but no harm done even in this case, imo, especially in fanfics. In movies, though, it's just lazy!).

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

HP, back in 2004 (welp).

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

None, thankfully. If I'm writing fanfic it means I'm in the late stage of hyperfixation and I don't wish that on myself if I can help it. Like I used to read 50+ books a year before GO S2. It's bad!!!

What's your favourite fic you've written?

Take a Little Love From Me mainly because it's the one I've spent more time with.

Tagging some people if they feel like doing it (but no pressure at all!): @beerok23 - @sabotage-on-mercury - @gaiaseyes451 - @leviosally

[solar-wing]

Im sorry, but HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO WRITE SO MANY GOOD FICS WITH THAT MANY WORDS??????

Do you have any tips for anyone planning to start writing? Can you describe how your creative thinking works? Love your work!

my exact writing process:

going from left to right:

– stare at my computer, willing the idea/scene in my head to appear on the document in words while listening to whatever inspired me on repeat. – sleep after exhausting my creative energy in such a strenuous manner. – eventually, come back to the idea/story only to end up formating the story post (story cover, author's note, summary, masterlists links, etc.) and not actually work on the story itself. – EVENTUALLY, write something and feel proud of myself for all of five minutes.

– eventually, come back and cringe at the screen wondering what the fuck I wrote and how I even got to the point I'm at. – question who I am and what I'm doing while staring at the screen, attempting again to will the scene/story I'm imagining onto the screen in a DECENT format while also wondering how the fuck it got so long. – read a notification from one of you coronal mass ejections asking me when the story I've been ignoring for months is getting updated (rightfully so) – write with passion fear, because I know if I delay any longer, one of you CMEs will eventually unite the rest of you and start a mass riot.

– stare at the post after publishing it and refresh my screen every thirty seconds to see the likes, reblogs, and comments coming in. – sleep (very important step) – eventually, read over my own work after posting it, going back in to make edits after realizing I either have a duplicated paragraph/section or a misspelled word somewhere and it's bugging the hell out of me while trying to just ignore it. – look at my inbox/drafts, trying to decide what request/draft I should finally start/finish, until I don't do that and just end up starting a new random story after getting inspired from the most random thing.

and that's it (i'm so serious, it goes exactly like that)!

but, in more seriousness, there's three crucial things to my writing creative/process.

an idea that was randomly sparked from a song or likely another post I read somewhere.

a super-powered hyperfocused spawned from ADD (attention deficit disorder) that randomly turns on and off.

drafts that have been sitting in my Google Drive for months to nearly a year.

it's funny because I'm sure people have questions of how I'm pushing upwards of 30K word fics out back to back at times, and the whole time, I'm like "This draft has been sitting here and getting slowly added to since April."

One Kent Was Enough was an idea I got last year during the summer (2023), and the draft had literally been sitting in my Google Drive and Tumblr drafts for months. Like I'm pretty sure I had a draft post of it on my old account before it got shadowbanned and I made this one..

All that to say, my writing process is pretty organic to me. It's really a reflection of my personality and how I operate in real life. Though, I I'd doubt that a lot of the stuff I put in there is unique just to me.

As far as tips I would have, the first one would be don't expect to write like your favorite author off the bat. One, you're two completely different people with different personalities, styles, likes/dislikes, etc. Two, if any of you remember how Nightwing and Shadow first came about, then you know seeing where it's gotten now has been a process. I promise I did not just start writing like this.

But, the biggest tip I would give is to just write. I saw a music artist named Doechii say this in an interview: "I have the right to be bad at something when I first start." Like I said in my process, there are many points I will look back at my work and completely hate it. Sometimes, the stories won't make sense to you or you'll feel like you've just thrown a bunch a words on the screen. It's okay.

It adds to your process because eventually, you start to learn what works best for you and what doesn't. Also, the stories end up turning out to be really well-thought-out and good in the end. I'm not joking when I say One Kent Was Enough was a literal mess at multiple points, and many times, I had no idea where I was going with the story. I literally couldn't get past the scene where the boys meet their dads and the rest of the Team for months until I had a breakthrough.

you'll eventually find your own way. just start writing 💛

[fatuismooches]

HIII OH MY GOD im sorry for sending another one but i was just in the bathroom cleaning up and an idea fucking struck me. (yeah, bright ideas always hit me while i shower)

im thoroughly convinced that zandik, at some point, genuinely believed that you didn't love him. it was probably a year into your relationship after hitting on him for too long in the akademiya.

then, zandik got his hands on a book about manipulation tactics and shit, and he read a portion about pretending to be nice and loving just to gain something from him.

and hence him kicking you out and screaming profanities at you, saying that you don't truly love him. yeah, i know, brash decision by zandik. his older self truly regrets it and doesn't know what he would do in his life if you weren't persistent enough to keep reaching out to him. but to younger zandik, it just made sense.

how could someone like you could ever love him? he knows that sometimes you think he's going a bit too far with his experiments, you call him crazy (in an adoring way ofc), you sometimes look at him in fear as well. you have to be pretending, it just can't be. he has spent all his life unloved, outcasted, hated and feared- he can't comprehend such a wonderful thing such as love would ever be something he'd truly experience, deserve.

zandik stood his ground with his decision, glaring at the wall as you knock on the door repeatedly, asking what was wrong. then when he hears you curse under your breath, sounding mad, his heart fucking breaks.

and it just sinks in that he did something incredibly stupid and probably hurt your feelings for acting out. he's just so not used to being loved, and even if a year has passed, he still can't wrap his head around it.

really, you only got mad from the other side of the door is because your groupmates saw you and began walking towards you after you escaped to hang out with zandik...

dw you make up eventually if you're determined enough to prove that you genuinely love him!! (i mean cmon, it's not that hard. just point out that you literally cook him, wrestle him from his desk and onto his bed to sleep, go on illegal expeditions with him and all you wanted from him was kisses, hugs and affirmations of his love for you)

IM LITERALLY COMBUSTING FROM THIS BECAUSE IT'S LITERALLY SO TRUE AND I LOVEEE THE WAY YOU DESCRIBED IT,, WHY HAVE U DONE THIS TO ME.

I'm thoroughly convinced that as well, and from his perspective it makes sense considering he went his whole life without receiving any kind of genuine love (which he grew not to care about anyway) and any kind of sweet words directed at him would usually have some kind of ulterior motive or to get on his good side... He's a very cynical person and even after a while the whole situation just baffles him. Not to mention sometimes Zandik himself has trouble understanding that he truly loves someone else and that this isn't just one big lie... it's hard for him to process it all.

Ugh you just know he'll be researching relationships and shit just so he can justify thinking this way and then he gets to a portion to be wary of your partner possibly being fake and manipulating you. And then he just goes haywire on you and you're just like "wtf are you even talking about" and Zandik's literally just going off on you without letting you get in a word. (I bet the clones cringe whenever they remember this moment too 💀 just bring up this moment in an argument and dramatically walk away and he'll feel a bit bad which is more than he should be capable of)

Zandik tries his best to ignore your heartbroken and confused expression - surely you must be faking it, he thinks as he slams the door in your face. This just must be one of your games again, and now that you've been called out you don't know what to do, he tries to convince himself. Your frantic knocks were just a scheme to play with whatever heart he had left. Because in no world, no universe, would you ever love someone like him. He knows he shouldn't be considered human anymore, he's a monster, and surely you see that too. The one who had been with him for ages, the closest one to him. Zandik doesn't understand - you have nothing to gain from being with him. It was 99% an act. Yes, 99%, because he was secretly clinging onto the 1% chance it was real.

And the 1% chance beat all odds when he heard how genuinely pissed and upset you were from behind the door, which was both a fortunate and unfortunate thing - the former because he knew you really loved him, the latter because even he realized that he fucked up big time. But Archons Zandik, out of all possible times, you had to do this when it was the time you were trying to avoid your annoying classmates 😔

On a more angsty note, you might start cursing back at him about all the reasons you love him and why you stay with him and just end it with the fact you're going to be staying somewhere else now, and it's up to him if he wants to see you again, because you ain't doing this again without some kind of apology. A few days later you come back with a whole fucking research paper about every little thing you've ever done for him and why you love him with a whole-ass explanation and just chuck it right at him and dip.

Thankfully present-day Dottore doesn't pull these kinds of stunts anymore and is much, much more secure and confident in the relationship (which is good cuz sometimes you wanted to slap him for being an idiot) Both of you are just glad you can look back on it and laugh (mostly you because Dottore hates thinking about the times he acted completely braindead)

[ladylooch]

describe your writing process from scratch to finish.

would LOVE to know more about how your brain works for this!!! especially when it comes to your AUs🤍

Thank you for specifically saying AUs because its different for AUs than one shots!

It usually starts with an idea or a couple lines of dialogue, then it turns into a full blown production. I never set out with the goal to write a certain amount of words for an idea. It tends to make me feel forced and under pressure versus just writing it how I want it to be and making tweaks from there. Ideas are generated daily, some of them get written down, some of them get forgotten as fast as I can because they're just bad. I don't write everything, but I'll at least flush it out into my notes app to see if there is something to come back to there. Sometimes if I'm on the fence about something, I'll post it here to see if there is interest.

After I do the full write, I spend time analyzing the dialogue and the actions of the characters to ensure they are "on brand" for who I know them as. I hate when I post something and then cringe because it doesn't feel authentic to the character's voice.

I used to write and post immediately for an instant gratification fix but now I try to space things out better so I can sit with my work longer. It also helps when I'm editing because when I'm too familiar with the piece, I skip or fill words in when I read. I'm the worst at editing. I will forever have typos and I've made peace with that.

Alternatively, most of my one shot ideas come from loving a song that I want to turn into a different creative medium based on my interpretation of it. From there, I try to think of a player I think fits the characteristics of the story or theme. Sometimes it's flipped and I'll just be like "I want to write Mat Barzal as a dad." And then I'm trying to find inspiration from there. Right now, I'm trying to figure out what else I want to write about Sidney Crosby. He is haunting me lately.

Questions from this list.

[pleasantspark]

Mating Season Cell x Bio-Android! OC (Genesis) Genre: Romance Tropes: Mating, ABO (Sorta) Warnings: Smut, Porn Without Plot, Curcumsized Cell, Mating Seasons, Porn With Plot, Inaccurate Biology, Cringe, Breeding, Cell has a fucking breeding kink holy fuck, God put me on this earth to describe a fictional Bio-Android with a shitton of DNA from an acrosian, monkey and a pickle boinking something that could be CONSIDERED his sister, Adam and Eve Analogy between Cell and Genesis AUs Utilized: Overhaul AU A/N: I always believed that the Perfect Final Form of Cell was somewhat based on a Cicada (I'm certain he is) and by GOD I fucking HATE Cicadas they chirp annoyingly. And as a result it's me translating Cell to being a needy bastard. I literally found out the reasoning behind those LOUD ass chirps is to attract mates. ONLY THE MALES do it, so Cell is gonna be that needy. As usual any suggestive content is hidden under the cut. Yes, that was an Adam and Eve reference when Gero took Cell's DNA to make Genesis. Word Count: 2746

In an abandoned lab, where it once was filled with machinery of all kind, stood a pink female android. She looked down at the shattered remains of the place that once held her. She didn't know what to do. She's been in existence and emergence for 4 seconds and she didn't know what to do.

She looked around the lab. Trying to find any clues of what she had to do. There was other tubes. Some like hers, broken. She then passed by another. This time... It... Caused... her body to tingle. She stopped in front of the tube and her body picked up on the distinct scent of another. Like her. She felt weak in the knees... She shook her head. No. She needed to focus.

Walking up to a lone table in the room. She picked up something. There was a file... With the name of... Project G? She opened the file, and began to read.

It has been done. I have thought about what to do with my C.E.L.L project. It's been something weighing heavy on my mind. I spent countless nights and days awake at night trying to figure out what the plans for C.E.L.L will be. He was built to destroy. And then... I figured it out. It's obvious that C.E.L.L would need something to make it happy, and now... I got it, a bride. A bride it could call its own. And that's why I decided to work on a new project. One dubbed Project G.

I did it, using the DNA of C.E.L.L I removed all the other DNA and isolated C.E.L.L's DNA to create a whole new being, a being I would dub as GENESIS. She is the catalyst to making C.E.L.L happy. I know she wouldn't fail, because by the time of her emergence we, and by we, her Android Comrades would have been gone.

Genesis closed the file, it gave her no... Answers? What was this... C.E.L.L... And who was the person who wrote this? As she backed away she stepped on something. The... Smell of... death lingered by. She gags and looked down. It was the dead body of... A... What's that?

She noticed it was a male, he seemed to be an Android himself. Was... He? No matter now. He's gone, she atleast had the decency to cover his body with a blanket. And did a prayer. She walked outside the Lab and felt the lingering smell of the Pod she felt attracted to. For whatever reason.

The past. C.E.L.L or known as Cell, stood over the ruined remains of the city he plundered. He's been absorbing things left and right. And he's staring down upon the city. With such disdain. For as long as he lived he's been thinking about what comes after. He's been having issues controlling himself.

No, not the absorbing issue. I mean... other issues. Lately, he's been chittering and chirping uncontrollably since he achieved perfectism. And he didn't even know why.

He thought maybe, he was ill? But he didn't feel sick. Sure there was the occasional burning up and sweating. But he thought nothing of it. The feeling got worse as time went on.

Then, he felt... Another presence. A Ki that was... inviting. Inviting and enticing enough to make his body go under.

Eventually. He noticed a pink... Female that looked close in appearance to him. He tilted his head. Then, out of nowhere. Another chitter. He covered his mouth embarrassed.

Why does she... make me feel this way?

Cell walked up to her cautiously and looked at her. She looked just like him. A being, of perfection. Just for him.

He could get used to this.

He will get used to this.

"You must be my mate." Cell said, as a matter of fact. The female, who he identified as his mate nodded, and she looked away.

"Y-Yes, are you... The C.E.L.L I read about?" She asked.

"C.E.L.L?" He questioned. Before remembering what she was saying and chuckled.

"Yeah, I am. But you can call me Cell. What you're calling me is by my-" He let's out a chitter covering his mouth. "I apologize, this never happened. Yes, my name is Cell, what you are referring to is by my "project" name Gero gave me."

"Gero?" She asked.

"I take it as you never met our creator. Hm?" Cell said.

"No, I haven't." She said.

"What is your name?" Cell asked.

"My name, is Genesis. Your bride."

Cell placed a hand under the chin of his wife to be, and gave her a seductive gaze. He traced a thumb across her chin.

"Well, you're my bride. And I-" He chitters, his face turning a bright red, he blinks and looked at her. "And I have you all to myself."

Genesis shuddered and looked at Cell, her breathing hitched as his hand on her chin was causing some... interesting feelings well up in her.

"Hm, do you feel it?" Cell asked, sensually.

"Feel what?" Genesis asked.

Cell had her where he wanted her, he straddled her as she was on the edge of the Cell Games Arena. Even though he had currently no time. Until the games, he could have time to fool around. He was currently kissing her passionately. His hands roaming her body, a mirror of his own.

He kissed her neck, and bit into the side of her neck, leaving a bite mark.

Claimed.

He was currently trying to please her slowly, but he heard a soft... Pop.

He looked down and realized her hatch opened and he smirked. He placed a finger in and shudders. "Ooh, you're, wet, wet. Perfect."

Pulling his finger out he began to lick it. "And tasty too~"

Genesis face flushed red, she looked away. Cell proceeded to place a finger in her bio-pussy fingering it. Genesis whimpers and Cell kept fingering it.

"C-Cell!" Genesis cried.

"Mm, yes~" Cell gasps out. Genesis continued to cry out in pleasure but before she could cum, Cell removed his finger and hummed.

"Ah, I could bring you to the edge that... easily. But I want to save your releasing for when something much more big is inside." Cell said.

"P-Puh-Please... Cell..." Genesis whimpers out. Cell tilts his head.

"Please, what, pet?" Cell asked.

"I... I want... I want, your... Your cock..." Genesis begs.

"Of course, anything for you, my bride... But, let me warn you. I am a little different from most down there." Cell said.

"W-What- What do you mean?" Genesis asked. Cell, chuckled and a pop was heard, his cock pops out.

"Well, I hope my size doesn't... disappoint you." Cell said.

"W-What are you-" Genesis asked.

"I am what most would label as curcumsized. But, no matter. I don't care about size, as long as you... are satisfied my dear." Cell then smirked.

Genesis looked down and saw Cell's dick, it was... Green with black spots, and it was of course uncut. She didn't really care, while it was small, it made up for it's girth. Kami... It was wide, she didn't know if it could fit... She gulped.

"What's wrong, my pet?" Cell asked. Before gauging her reaction, he chuckled. "Relax, think of it as my fingers penetrating you instead of something much more big."

That seemed to ease her worries, until Cell sheathed himself within her. She let out a struggled gasp, her hand clasping over her mouth Cell knew she was trying to prevent the strangled screams of pain from her mouth.

Cell, wanting her to feel comfortable immediately placed his finger where her clitoris is located and rubbed it, hoping to soothe her pain. She breathes out and clenches her hands into fists. Cell eased in gently and stroked the insides of her pussy with his cock, at this point her pussy fully embraced his cock and he began to remove his cock and slam it back inside, now he's fucking her at a regular pace.

"There it is..." Cell chitters, this time, he allowed it. He was happy. He deserved it. He began to rock inside her at a steady pace, Genesis slowly began to ease into the pleasure forgoing the pain. She moans, Cell huffs and chitters enjoying her reaction.

"Hah... There it is, my lovely ladybug, the pain is gone, hm? You can fully embrace the pleasure. Come, let us enjoy this together." Cell teases, he pounds into her.

"C-Cell! A-Ah! Fuck!" Genesis cried, feeling like her body was reacting heavily to Cell's influence. She was crying and whimpering Cell pants and cries out. Pounding further into her. He is currently holding his hands on the floor railing into her. The desire to mate her and fill her with his young overriding his original goals.

"Ack! Fuck." Cell huffs. "Hah, I'm about to bring us to the edge, darling."

And with that, Cell gasped at the hilt and finally, grunts cumming inside of Genesis, filling her completely. He pants catching his breath before he tried to pull out, it took awhile. But he pulled out, his cock struggling a bit as Genesis' pussy clung onto him like a vice.

Cell looked down at her, a look of wonder, he scanned the area, The arena where his... Battle against the Saiyans and... Their friends will happen. No, this won't do. He can't just fight and do this. If he's going to be a father-to-be he can't bring his children in an environment where he might die and leave behind Genesis at the haste and anger of the Z-Fighters.

He may be a evil bastard but he isn't that evil. Cell thought about it... Was he capable of change? Maybe. He noticed that Genesis passed out, perfect. He wrapped her up and placed her aside, and wrote down a small note. He placed the paper down at the arena stage and picked up Genesis to leave and find a proper place to start their new life together.

EXTENDED ENDING

Gohan and the others arrive to where the Cell Games were to be held, but saw nothing. Confusion was on their faces as there was nothing here. Gohan looked around.

"Where is Cell?" Gohan asked.

"You'd think after announcing a challenge he'd show up to his own fight? Tch." Vegeta mumbled.

"...Hm?" Goku flew over to the stage, and saw a note. He picked it up.

"What's that, Kakarot?" Vegeta attempted to swipe the paper but due to the height advantage that Goku had over the manlet, he unsuccessfully grabbed it.

"It's from Cell." Goku said.

"Well, don't sit there and say it is! Read it out!" Vegeta snaps.

"Jeez, you're so impatient, Vegeta. Hold on." Goku opened the paper further.

To whom is may concern, I formally am writing this note to apologize for all the countless damage I have caused, and I am well aware that no amount of apologizing will ever, and can ever undo the hurt I have caused, and as such. I am cancelling the Cell Games, why? Well. It is said when you fall in love... You... Become a whole new person. While what I did in the past will never change, I can decide what happens in the future. As such, I need to think of my future family. I decided to cancel the Cell Games in pursuit of a safe place where me and the missus can raise our family.

Gero made me for a selfish reason, but he also made my wife for a reason that balances out the very reasoning of the other Androids, without life, destruction wouldn't be a thing, and without me, Genesis wouldn't be a thing. Again, I would like to reach out and apologize through written prose.

I would be open to apologize face to face, but I doubt you want any pleasantries and would cut to the chase and kill me, I do not want any bad blood, as long as you stay clear from me and my family. I wouldn't want any issues. Again, I apologize for the amount of destruction I have caused significantly over the time of me arriving here.

Sincerely yours, Cell

Once Goku read all that, Vegeta's eye twitches, Gohan was speechless. The others were shocked.

"So, the big bad... Cell found love?" Krillin asked.

"This all seems too convenient. How can a being of hateful origins be cured from hate, and turned to love in an instance! This sounds like some horrible written story that woman reads!" Vegeta said.

"...Now, we shouldn't be... Dismissive of Cell's reasoning. Sure what he did was... Horrible, but we can't just write of his want to change." Goku said.

"Kakarot, you gave him a Sensu Bean, you absolute idiot. He could've been killed if it wasn't your humbleness that acted." Vegeta snarks.

While the two bickered, Gohan pondered.

"...Maybe he changed. Really..." Gohan looked up to the sky.

Exactly a couple of months later, in a Cave that has been decorated and thoroughly changed to accommodate a family was seen. Inside a female was currently helping her small quadruplets to bed. Then the sound of footsteps were heard. Her ears perked up.

"Cell?" Genesis called. Cell chuckles and placed down the catch of the day.

"It's me." Cell commented.

"I'm glad you arrived back, I was worried you die or something." Genesis shifts a bit.

"Hah, have you no faith in me, my dear?" Cell asked.

"N-No, I do. It's just... When you're gone I can't help but worry..." Genesis said. Cell looked at her with a look of sympathy and sat down next to her, and smiled.

"Ah, I understand. But, sweetie. I would always come back, do I not?" Cell asked.

"Y-Yes..." Genesis said.

"Mhm." Cell, holding onto Genesis' hand gave it a reassuring squeeze.

A chittering sound came from where the quadruplets lay, Cell chuckles. "See? They even agree with me." Cell said.

Genesis smiled, and looked a little relaxed. Cell picked up one of them. He was pretty gentle with the handling of his own kids.

"Pretty intriguing that all of them were born males. I was sort of hoping 2 were boys and 2 were girls. I suppose that's the result of my Namekian and Frieza DNA." Cell said.

"Haha, you wanted girls so you can spoil them, don't you, Cell?" Genesis asked.

"I suppose, so. But there's not that much to spoil them with." Cell commented.

"I see-" Genesis began before another Ki was felt, Cell seemed to be alert. Before he could do anything however, the Kis entered the cave.

"...Goku." Cell said, without even turning to face the male.

"Cell, we came here to talk. We've been tracking you for awhile... And... We wanted to make sur-" Goku began.

"That you weren't being a lying disingenuous snake." Vegeta huffed. Goku's eyes widened.

"Vegeta! That's... Not very nice." Goku said.

"Oh, what? What's he going to do? Kill me, he's proving his note wrong if he kills me, proving this sack of shit never changed." Vegeta said.

"...Right." Cell mumbled. Before Goku can apologize on behalf of Vegeta, Gohan stepped up.

"While, I won't forgive you for what you did to countless others, including Android 16... I can... Appreciate that you're taking the effort to change... Starting with your... Kids?" Gohan peers over. He noticed 4 Kids. He sensed that their kis were pure. He glances over at Genesis who was hiding her face.

"Is that the one who you mentioned in your note, Cell?" Gohan asked. Cell blushed and nodded.

"She was built for me after I completed my goals, but seeing as... Well... Seeing as... I... Wanted a better life... after I fell for her hard. I didn't want this path of destruction anymore. And chose her and our family over whatever I was made for." Cell explained.

"I... I didn't know you had compassion like that." Gohan said.

"I didn't either." Cell said.

"So, you're going to live in this cave?" Goku asked.

"It's pretty damp... And dangerous." Gohan points out.

"It's safe from any crazies that dare try and harm my family. I don't want any crazy people getting ahold of the Quadruplets and trying to do some... experiments on them." Cell said, a dark look appearing in his face.

"But, we can ask Bulma to get you guys a capsule house. I don't think the lack of sunlight is good enough for... You know..." Goku points to the Quadruplets.

"...I'll think about it." Cell said, "But I make no promises."

"Great! Does that mean we're going to be able to fight-"

"No, Goku."

[jollybirdtheorist-new-art-blog]

UPDATE!note. or apology? I dunno mixed signals

Hello. I'm back? It's been a while? Or maybe not ADHD makes time move funny.

Sorry I disappeared school work made my brain short circuit. But that's not really the only thing on my mind.

I wanted to pick up a new hobby. Writing (y,know fanfics, au's, fantasy worlds/realms.) and I'm still working on it but I think i've hit a wall?

I felt so much motivation starting and daydreaming about said project...but now I'm burnt out? Its weird because I'm too tired to do the things I actually like? Not only that but when I'm writing I don't feel that my stories turn out too good- or good at all actually.

I'm writing but the finished products feel weird or not right they almost feel cringe even. I know The word cringe is unkind and I hate it to oblivion- but that's the only word I can use to describe my scrapped works.

How do I start liking my works?

How do I get better at doing the things I love?

.

.

Truth is I don't know.

I have no clues either.

But I'm still not giving up either, I'm going to continue trying, reading, analyzing and trying until I get skilled enough to create a Story worthy of my own Admiration!

But until then I'll continue to be 'cringe'. Even if my works suck right now I've gotta start somewhere!

Guidelines/ simple rules and boundaries (for safety reasons!)

• This brings me to my next point actually, I'm going back to shitposting. Or really actively posting. The timing will be sporadic/ mostly unpredictable. But I am determined to make good content not only for my enjoyment but for others whom share my hyper fixations and people who just stumble upon my blog.

• I'm still somewhat a beginner artist and writer with no clue what they're doing so be patient with me. If you are to give me criticism may it be detailed and constructive.

• I also occasionally like doing crackships for fun. And as I said I have slightly different headcannons from the usual viewer. If you're confused about anything regarding my ships you may drop a question (or multiple questions!) in my inbox so that I may clear up any confusions!

•Please do NOT jump to conclusions if I accidentally offend anyone without realizing.( I know this rule sounds confusing but I'm setting it for good reason)

•I set the rule above ⬆️ . Because the Internet is full of all kinds of things I might not be knowledgeable in. If I accidentally make a mistake, use some terminology wrong or something I can't think of yet. please correct me or educate me instead of arguing or tryna attack me online. (Though I haven't got into any trouble of that sort during my time here I feel as if this is a necessary rule to set early.) I am an open minded individual and I choose to respect anyone whom shows me respect. If there were to be any situation I cannot resolve with logic or simple explanation I'd rather agree to disagree instead of blocking someone.

I am here to have fun, and to make friends or connections. Not fights.

I Am NOT pr0shipper. I do not condone ships with actual abusive relationships (they make my guts squrim in a very uncomfortable way). I also don't condone pedos/ chromo's (believe me I've had uncomfortable encounters with such folks before.)

If you stuck to the end of this post good job! I'm proud you made it! I hope you have a beautiful week!♥️

[lunacornfan2k25]

With the fandom getting a bit more active due to the latest news, I just wanna say this:

I love your work.

Just dropping this here in case things get clouded. I never really got into the whole situation since I'm not part of the discord or actually seen the drama (I'm thankful I haven't.) but based on how you describe it, it must've been really rough.

I know it may not be much but...

Your work's amazing. I love how you write John Juniper and how you try to balance out his arrogance with his humanity.

The fact your OCs work so well within the world and feel like they belong there? Amazing. I honestly want to do something like that as well.

It may not be much but... I hope this makes your day.

~ Mystery Anon... again. (I love sending anon love, huh? /silly)

Hi anon!

Thank you so much! I love seeing your messages in my inbox 🥰

I never expected people to love my ocs as much as I do and tbh I didn’t expect myself to keep putting them in fics lol.

My advice for creating ocs that feel like they’re part of the universe is find their niche in the world/your story and let its position help mold it into your character instead of creating the character separate for the story. It’s like shaping a chunk of clay using a triangle mold instead of trying to force a square peg into a triangle hole. It’s easier to make ocs that fit the story as opposed to making the story fit the oc if that makes sense.

I drive myself crazy making sure John still feels close to his canon personality while letting him grow as a person. I’ve actually spent so much time writing John in an au or after significant emotional growth that I actually wasn’t sure if I could write him back to the bitchy man he is in canon when writing Unmasked when he’s definitely more selfish. My beta readers assured me that he was written as canon as possible and I wouldn’t have published it if that wasn’t the case.

As for the discord thing, I’m not sure what you’re talking about. I’ve left the official discord back in September for reasons I’ve already talked about. If you’re referring to Calivides post that I’ve reblogged, I’ll admit that I was saved from most of the hate she received on account of 1) mainly being a lurker 2) only writing they/them Phoenix unless different pronouns are requested 3) no one on the official discord actually cared for my fanfics. Watching what Calivide went through did upset me as someone who is sometimes a woman and almost always perceived as one. It made me genuinely nervous to be open about being a feminine afab person for fear that people would start to read my gn!reader/phoenix as feminine and stop reading/get dysphoria from reading my fics which is the last thing I want to happen. Once I became more active in the fandom and the fandom discord I finally stopped being a bystander and spoke out against it but it still took some time before I was more open about myself.

More recently I have gotten annoyed by people just being open about their hate. If I see people vaguely hating on the content that I make I’ll block them. I don’t like seeing the hate and these people clearly don’t like my content so it’s a win-win situation. Also there seems to be this general idea that liking John juniper is a bad thing and super cringe and again I just have to ask; why do people focus on their hate? As someone who as enjoyed making content for juniper for 4 years and counting I don’t like seeing that shit. I just don’t. I’ve been blocking people liberally now because I’m tired of seeing it so often

I’ve read some harsh words about me but that’s been resolved privately.

So forgive me but I have no idea what discord drama you’re talking about if it wasn’t already mentioned.

Sorry I was slow to respond but your message did make my day and I’m glad to see the energy in the fandom picking up again!!!

[xnixnbvg]

Mating Season

Cell x Bio-Android! OC (Genesis)

Genre: Romance

Tropes: Mating, ABO (Sorta)

Warnings: Smut, Porn Without Plot, Curcumsized Cell, Mating Seasons, Porn With Plot, Inaccurate Biology, Cringe, Breeding, Cell has a fucking breeding kink holy fuck, God put me on this earth to describe a fictional Bio-Android with a shitton of DNA from an acrosian, monkey and a pickle boinking something that could be CONSIDERED his sister, Adam and Eve Analogy between Cell and Genesis

AUs Utilized: Overhaul AU

A/N: I always believed that the Perfect Final Form of Cell was somewhat based on a Cicada (I'm certain he is) and by GOD I fucking HATE Cicadas they chirp annoyingly. And as a result it's me translating Cell to being a needy bastard. I literally found out the reasoning behind those LOUD ass chirps is to attract mates. ONLY THE MALES do it, so Cell is gonna be that needy. As usual any suggestive content is hidden under the cut. Yes, that was an Adam and Eve reference when Gero took Cell's DNA to make Genesis.

Word Count: 2746

In an abandoned lab, where it once was filled with machinery of all kind, stood a pink female android. She looked down at the shattered remains of the place that once held her. She didn't know what to do. She's been in existence and emergence for 4 seconds and she didn't know what to do.

She looked around the lab. Trying to find any clues of what she had to do. There was other tubes. Some like hers, broken. She then passed by another. This time... It... Caused... her body to tingle. She stopped in front of the tube and her body picked up on the distinct scent of another. Like her. She felt weak in the knees... She shook her head. No. She needed to focus.

Walking up to a lone table in the room. She picked up something. There was a file... With the name of... Project G? She opened the file, and began to read.

*It has been done. I have thought about what to do with my C.E.L.L project. It's been something weighing heavy on my mind. I spent countless nights and days awake at night trying to figure out what the plans for C.E.L.L will be. He was built to destroy. And then... I figured it out. It's obvious that C.E.L.L would need something to make it happy, and now... I got it, a bride. A bride it could call its own. And that's why I decided to work on a new project. One dubbed Project G. *

I did it, using the DNA of C.E.L.L I removed all the other DNA and isolated C.E.L.L's DNA to create a whole new being, a being I would dub as GENESIS. She is the catalyst to making C.E.L.L happy. I know she wouldn't fail, because by the time of her emergence we, and by we, her Android Comrades would have been gone.

Genesis closed the file, it gave her no... Answers? What was this... C.E.L.L... And who was the person who wrote this? As she backed away she stepped on something. The... Smell of... *death *lingered by. She gags and looked down. It was the dead body of... A... What's that?

She noticed it was a male, he seemed to be an Android himself. Was... He? No matter now. He's gone, she atleast had the decency to cover his body with a blanket. And did a prayer. She walked outside the Lab and felt the lingering smell of the Pod she felt attracted to. For whatever reason.

The past. C.E.L.L or known as Cell, stood over the ruined remains of the city he plundered. He's been absorbing things left and right. And he's staring down upon the city. With such disdain. For as long as he lived he's been thinking about what comes after. He's been having issues controlling himself.

No, not the absorbing issue. I mean... other issues. Lately, he's been chittering and chirping uncontrollably since he achieved perfectism. And he didn't even know why.

He thought maybe, he was ill? But he didn't feel sick. Sure there was the occasional burning up and sweating. But he thought nothing of it. The feeling got worse as time went on.

Then, he felt... Another presence. A Ki that was... inviting. Inviting and enticing enough to make his body go under.

Eventually. He noticed a pink... Female that looked close in appearance to him. He tilted his head. Then, out of nowhere. Another chitter. He covered his mouth embarrassed.

Why does she... make me feel this way?

Cell walked up to her cautiously and looked at her. She looked just like him. A being, of perfection. Just for him.

He could get used to this.

He will get used to this.

"You must be my mate." Cell said, as a matter of fact. The female, who he identified as his mate nodded, and she looked away.

"Y-Yes, are you... The C.E.L.L I read about?" She asked.

"C.E.L.L?" He questioned. Before remembering what she was saying and chuckled.

"Yeah, I am. But you can call me Cell. What you're calling me is by my-" He let's out a chitter covering his mouth. "I apologize, this never happened. Yes, my name is Cell, what you are referring to is by my "project" name Gero gave me."

"Gero?" She asked.

"I take it as you never met our creator. Hm?" Cell said.

"No, I haven't." She said.

"What is your name?" Cell asked.

"My name, is Genesis. Your bride."

Cell placed a hand under the chin of his wife to be, and gave her a seductive gaze. He traced a thumb across her chin.

"Well, you're my bride. And I-" He chitters, his face turning a bright red, he blinks and looked at her. "And I have you *all *to myself."

Genesis shuddered and looked at Cell, her breathing hitched as his hand on her chin was causing some... *interesting *feelings well up in her.

"Hm, do you feel it?" Cell asked, sensually.

"Feel what?" Genesis asked.

Cell had her where he wanted her, he straddled her as she was on the edge of the Cell Games Arena. Even though he had currently no time. Until the games, he could have time to fool around. He was currently kissing her passionately. His hands roaming her body, a mirror of his own.

He kissed her neck, and bit into the side of her neck, leaving a bite mark.

Claimed.

He was currently trying to please her slowly, but he heard a soft... Pop.

He looked down and realized her hatch opened and he smirked. He placed a finger in and shudders. "Ooh, you're, wet, wet. Perfect."

Pulling his finger out he began to lick it. "And tasty too\~"

Genesis face flushed red, she looked away. Cell proceeded to place a finger in her bio-pussy fingering it. Genesis whimpers and Cell kept fingering it.

"C-Cell!" Genesis cried.

"Mm, yes\~" Cell gasps out. Genesis continued to cry out in pleasure but before she could cum, Cell removed his finger and hummed.

"Ah, I could bring you to the edge that... easily. But I want to save your releasing for when something much more *big *is inside." Cell said.

"P-Puh-Please... Cell..." Genesis whimpers out. Cell tilts his head.

"Please, what, pet?" Cell asked.

"I... I want... I want, your... Your cock..." Genesis begs.

"Of course, anything for you, my bride... But, let me warn you. I am a little different from most down there." Cell said.

"W-What- What do you mean?" Genesis asked. Cell, chuckled and a pop was heard, his cock pops out.

"Well, I hope my size doesn't... *disappoint *you." Cell said.

"W-What are you-" Genesis asked.

"I am what most would label as curcumsized. But, no matter. I don't care about size, as long as you... are satisfied my dear." Cell then smirked.

Genesis looked down and saw Cell's dick, it was... Green with black spots, and it was of course uncut. She didn't really care, while it was small, it made up for it's girth. Kami... It was wide, she didn't know if it could fit... She gulped.

"What's wrong, my pet?" Cell asked. Before gauging her reaction, he chuckled. "Relax, think of it as my fingers penetrating you instead of something much more big."

That seemed to ease her worries, until Cell sheathed himself within her. She let out a struggled gasp, her hand clasping over her mouth Cell knew she was trying to prevent the strangled screams of pain from her mouth.

Cell, wanting her to feel comfortable immediately placed his finger where her clitoris is located and rubbed it, hoping to soothe her pain. She breathes out and clenches her hands into fists. Cell eased in gently and stroked the insides of her pussy with his cock, at this point her pussy fully embraced his cock and he began to remove his cock and slam it back inside, now he's fucking her at a regular pace.

"There it is..." Cell chitters, this time, he allowed it. He was happy. He *deserved *it. He began to rock inside her at a steady pace, Genesis slowly began to ease into the pleasure forgoing the pain. She moans, Cell huffs and chitters enjoying her reaction.

"Hah... There it is, my lovely ladybug, the pain is gone, hm? You can fully embrace the pleasure. Come, let us enjoy this together." Cell teases, he pounds into her.

"C-Cell! A-Ah! Fuck!" Genesis cried, feeling like her body was reacting heavily to Cell's influence. She was crying and whimpering Cell pants and cries out. Pounding further into her. He is currently holding his hands on the floor railing into her. The desire to mate her and fill her with his young overriding his original goals.

"Ack! Fuck." Cell huffs. "Hah, I'm about to bring us to the edge, darling."

And with that, Cell gasped at the hilt and finally, grunts cumming inside of Genesis, filling her completely. He pants catching his breath before he tried to pull out, it took awhile. But he pulled out, his cock struggling a bit as Genesis' pussy clung onto him like a vice.

Cell looked down at her, a look of wonder, he scanned the area, The arena where his... Battle against the Saiyans and... Their friends will happen. No, this won't do. He can't just fight and do this. If he's going to be a father-to-be he can't bring his children in an environment where he might die and leave behind Genesis at the haste and anger of the Z-Fighters.

He may be a evil bastard but he isn't that evil. Cell thought about it... Was he capable of change? Maybe. He noticed that Genesis passed out, perfect. He wrapped her up and placed her aside, and wrote down a small note. He placed the paper down at the arena stage and picked up Genesis to leave and find a proper place to start their new life together.

EXTENDED ENDING

Gohan and the others arrive to where the Cell Games were to be held, but saw nothing. Confusion was on their faces as there was nothing here. Gohan looked around.

"Where is Cell?" Gohan asked.

"You'd think after announcing a challenge he'd show up to his own fight? Tch." Vegeta mumbled.

"...Hm?" Goku flew over to the stage, and saw a note. He picked it up.

"What's that, Kakarot?" Vegeta attempted to swipe the paper but due to the height advantage that Goku had over the manlet, he unsuccessfully grabbed it.

"It's from Cell." Goku said.

"Well, don't sit there and say it is! Read it out!" Vegeta snaps.

"Jeez, you're so impatient, Vegeta. Hold on." Goku opened the paper further.

*To whom is may concern, *

*I formally am writing this note to apologize for all the countless damage I have caused, and I am well aware that no amount of apologizing will ever, and can ever undo the hurt I have caused, and as such. I am cancelling the Cell Games, why? Well. It is said when you fall in love... You... Become a whole new person. While what I did in the past will never change, I can decide what happens in the future. As such, I need to think of my future family. I decided to cancel the Cell Games in pursuit of a safe place where me and the missus can raise our family. *

*Gero made me for a selfish reason, but he also made my wife for a reason that balances out the very reasoning of the other Androids, without life, destruction wouldn't be a thing, and without me, Genesis wouldn't be a thing. Again, I would like to reach out and apologize through written prose. *

*I would be open to apologize face to face, but I doubt you want any pleasantries and would cut to the chase and kill me, I do not want any bad blood, as long as you stay clear from me and my family. I wouldn't want any issues. Again, I apologize for the amount of destruction I have caused significantly over the time of me arriving here. *

*Sincerely yours, Cell *

Once Goku read all that, Vegeta's eye twitches, Gohan was speechless. The others were shocked.

"So, the big bad... Cell found love?" Krillin asked.

"This all seems too convenient. How can a being of hateful origins be cured from hate, and turned to love in an instance! This sounds like some horrible written story that woman reads!" Vegeta said.

"...Now, we shouldn't be... Dismissive of Cell's reasoning. Sure what he did was... Horrible, but we can't just write of his want to change." Goku said.

"Kakarot, you gave him a Sensu Bean, you absolute idiot. He could've been killed if it wasn't your humbleness that acted." Vegeta snarks.

While the two bickered, Gohan pondered.

"...Maybe he changed. Really..." Gohan looked up to the sky.

Exactly a couple of months later, in a Cave that has been decorated and thoroughly changed to accommodate a family was seen. Inside a female was currently helping her small quadruplets to bed. Then the sound of footsteps were heard. Her ears perked up.

"Cell?" Genesis called. Cell chuckles and placed down the catch of the day.

"It's me." Cell commented.

"I'm glad you arrived back, I was worried you die or something." Genesis shifts a bit.

"Hah, have you no faith in me, my dear?" Cell asked.

"N-No, I do. It's just... When you're gone I can't help but worry..." Genesis said. Cell looked at her with a look of sympathy and sat down next to her, and smiled.

"Ah, I understand. But, sweetie. I would always come back, do I not?" Cell asked.

"Y-Yes..." Genesis said.

"Mhm." Cell, holding onto Genesis' hand gave it a reassuring squeeze.

A chittering sound came from where the quadruplets lay, Cell chuckles. "See? They even agree with me." Cell said.

Genesis smiled, and looked a little relaxed. Cell picked up one of them. He was pretty gentle with the handling of his own kids.

"Pretty intriguing that all of them were born males. I was sort of hoping 2 were boys and 2 were girls. I suppose that's the result of my Namekian and Frieza DNA." Cell said.

"Haha, you wanted girls so you can spoil them, don't you, Cell?" Genesis asked.

"I suppose, so. But there's not that much to spoil them with." Cell commented.

"I see-" Genesis began before another Ki was felt, Cell seemed to be alert. Before he could do anything however, the Kis entered the cave.

"...Goku." Cell said, without even turning to face the male.

"Cell, we came here to talk. We've been tracking you for awhile... And... We wanted to make sur-" Goku began.

"That you weren't being a lying disingenuous snake." Vegeta huffed. Goku's eyes widened.

"Vegeta! That's... Not very nice." Goku said.

"Oh, what? What's he going to do? Kill me, he's proving his note wrong if he kills me, proving this sack of shit never changed." Vegeta said.

"...Right." Cell mumbled. Before Goku can apologize on behalf of Vegeta, Gohan stepped up.

"While, I won't forgive you for what you did to countless others, including Android 16... I can... Appreciate that you're taking the effort to change... Starting with your... Kids?" Gohan peers over. He noticed 4 Kids. He sensed that their kis were pure. He glances over at Genesis who was hiding her face.

"Is that the one who you mentioned in your note, Cell?" Gohan asked. Cell blushed and nodded.

"She was built for me after I completed my goals, but seeing as... Well... Seeing as... I... Wanted a better life... after I fell for her hard. I didn't want this path of destruction anymore. And chose her and our family over whatever I was made for." Cell explained.

"I... I didn't know you had compassion like that." Gohan said.

"I didn't either." Cell said.

"So, you're going to live in this cave?" Goku asked.

"It's pretty damp... And dangerous." Gohan points out.

"It's safe from any crazies that dare try and harm my family. I don't want any crazy people getting ahold of the Quadruplets and trying to do some... *experiments *on them." Cell said, a dark look appearing in his face.

"But, we can ask Bulma to get you guys a capsule house. I don't think the lack of sunlight is good enough for... You know..." Goku points to the Quadruplets.

"...I'll think about it." Cell said, "But I make no promises."

"Great! Does that mean we're going to be able to fight-"

"No, Goku."

[bl00dn0t3-x3]

palm tree , aloe Vera , chamomile ,ivy , camellia,jasmine , sage ,daffodil , cactus and orchid ♪⁠～⁠(⁠´⁠ε⁠｀⁠ ⁠)

I didn't go to school today o⁠(⁠(⁠*⁠^⁠▽⁠^⁠*⁠)⁠)⁠o

-🪤

YAAAY NO SCHOOL 🤭

orchid ⇢ what’s a song you consider to be perfect?

idk i like a lot of songs 😭

cactus ⇢ something you’re currently learning (about)?

i don't pay attention in school so... i'm learning japanese, greek and korean :P mostly japanese tho

daffodil ⇢ do you have siblings? if yes, in what ways do you think you’re similar to or different from them?

i have two half-sisters but idk them at all cuz they're my POS dad's... i've never met them and i don't intend to lmaoo ppl need to stop fucking that guy fr

sage ⇢ what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?

probably drawings or poems... i'm a visual learner. poems use complex words that describe things better which helps me understand better than just general language

camellia ⇢ what were you like when you were younger? do you think you’ve changed a lot?

i've changed sooo much i can't even explain it... when i was ages 12-13 tho i was rly sensitive. when i turned 14 i started getting aware of how fucking cringe i was smh omfg (bonus at bottom)

jasmine ⇢ do you have a movie or book you loved but will never watch/read again?

gods, there's so many movies and shows like that for me... i'm gonna say power rangers though, any of them but mostly samurai. i tried rewatching it a couple years ago and it was... i couldn't get past the cgi 😭😭 coolest shit ever when i was a kid but my standards are just too high now 😓

ivy ⇢ what are your ‘tells’ for your emotions and moods? how can someone tell you’re happy, annoyed, upset or tired?

when i'm annoyed/upset/tired i'm highkey incapable of acting happy LMAOOO irl or online i'm rly not good at masking anymore rip 😩 when i'm happy... you'll probably know 💀 i'm lowkey an open book

chamomile ⇢ what kind of things do you like receiving as gifts?

it honestly changes with my interests, but i always like recieving percy jackson stuff since the riordanverse is one of my special interests :3

aloe vera ⇢ what’s something (mundane) you really want to experience in life?

idrk but i get kinda jealous when i see other kids hanging out with their friends in public without their parents or talking about it... ig that probably counts

palm tree ⇢ do you have a fictional villain you shouldn’t like but love regardless?

i honestly dk, i'm usually into protagonists/heroes/generally on the 'good' side. i just have a rly strong moral compass lol

bonus for camellia: when i was 12-14 i took things to heart so often and cried during fights with my sister... stopped crying during fights with my sister last year after getting weirdly sadistic during one. strange fight cuz i usually hate hurting people's feelings but i was straight-up provoking her 💀💀 now during fights for the most part i'm either pissed off, lowkey sadistic or both LMAOOO it's not a good thing but it's kind of a fond memory for me idk why

[misscorn]

Day 3 Favor/Home

Heey, my following entries for @sihjrweek are all gonna be a bit late because I had company visiting this weekend (and I write all of these the week of instead of planning ahead) but I'm still participating I promise lol

***

Saga Masamune had a rather bleak outlook on what the word 'home' meant. Home was where he slept, ate, showered. and now home was where Sorata was too. Those were the most positive aspects he could come up with when trying to describe 'home'. As someone who read all sorts of stories there were bound to be books that came into his possession that had themes revolving around homes and families. Considering what he read he knew that not everyone had the same attitude as him.

Saga didn't like abandoning books, but he did find it difficult to finish ones that heavily focused on those topics. They just made him...uncomfortable. He couldn't help but to cringe when reading a description of warm and loving feelings between family members. He was always taken out of the experience if the main character expressed an urgency and desperation to go home. Saga just couldn't seem to relate to that kind of story, let alone enjoy it.

It was worse when it was a book he could relate to. It made him feel far too seen, like he was a specimen under observation being poked and pointed at. That made him want to crawl out of his own skin. Saga much preferred stories that focused on other topics. He tried to avoid any books that obviously revolved around these themes, but sometimes they were incorporated into books he didn't expect and he ended up an unwilling participant in the story.

For Saga, home was a place to be avoided. Home was a cold, quiet and lonely place. When it was filled with any kind of warmth, that warmth was unwelcomed hot rage. The usual silence was only ever broken by shouting, though now there was the occasional meow that could be a comfort. Still, there was no sense of belonging to be found. No feeling of safety. No love.

That was what the word 'home' meant to Saga Masamune.

At least, it had meant that for a long time.

Oda Ritsu had unintentionally altered Saga's whole way of operating. At first it was very small changes - ones that Saga had even actively resisted - but then seemingly all at once Saga's entire being was overtaken with Ritsu this and Ritsu that. It was downright infuriating to be so infatuated with his dorky underclassman, but it was like the more he tried to run away from it, the stronger these new feelings grew.

Home was no longer such a dreaded idea either - not if Ritsu was accompanying him. Home started to take on new meanings: privacy, quality time, even pleasure. Ritsu had his own warmth he brought with him, but it wasn't anything like the burning fury of his parents that would overtake the house until it felt inhospitable. Ritsu's warmth was a gentle glow, a source of solace that drew Saga in. The warmth of Ritsu's body pressed against his, the warmth of Ritsu's bright red cheeks, the warmth of Ritsu's kindness, it was almost overwhelming, but at the same time Saga selfishly wanted it all to himself.

Saga had always hated the sentiments behind sayings like 'home is where the heart is' or 'a house is not a home', but watching Ritsu drool a little in his sleep right next to him on a random Saturday night had Saga thinking that maybe he finally understood what those sayings meant.

Takano Masamune didn't feel any different some odd eleven years later, staring at Ritsu on yet another random night, though Ritsu was not quite asleep yet.

"Do you want something?" Ritsu scowled.

"No." Masamune answered.

"Then why are you staring at me?"

"You're nice to look at."

Ritsu made a strangled noise.

"And I love you." Masamune added.

Ritsu grabbed his pillow - Masamune having finally gotten a second one - and lightly hit him with it.

"Be quiet and go to sleep, will you? We have to be up early tomorrow and I can't sleep with you watching me like a creep."

"You sure didn't have that issue in high school."

Ritsu blinked. "What do you mean by that?"

"I'd stare at you all the time when you slept over." Masamune admitted, not ashamed or embarrassed whatsoever. "You were cute. You drooled a lot."

"N-No I did not!" Ritsu denied immediately. "And why were you watching me in my sleep?!"

"You're nice to look at and I love you." Masamune repeated. "Are you really going to pretend like you haven't watched me in my sleep?"

Ritsu elected not to make a comment on that, turning over so his back was to Masamune.

"Please just close your eyes." Ritsu quietly pleaded, pulling the blanket up to his chin. "...I love you too, but seriously, I can't sleep like this."

Masamune pressed close, wrapping an arm around Ritsu's middle to hold him tight. Still just as warm, he thought, granting his boyfriend just a little bit of mercy by finally drifting to sleep.