#reading her as having ocd just. makes it very much look like she has been completely and utterly consumed by compulsions

[wackywatchdotcom]

ragatha has ocd to me. i mean thats not all shes got going on but as a professional ocd haver, she resonates with me so hard... i feel like she gets obsessions around people being safe, like 'i need to check on that person, cause what if theyre about to abstract?? what if theyve ALREADY abstracted? if i dont check on them right now they could be abstracted and i wouldnt know." and also obsessions abt interpersonal relationships that make her constantly just . saying anything in order to make sure people ARENT mad at her, because what if she doesnt say something and she was SUPPOSED to say smth so if she doesnt theyre gonna HATE her??? stuff like that

she personally just reads so much like a woman whos had ocd so long and has since fallen into relying on reassurance seeking and SO many subtle compulsions because of being in a situation so out of control (bc ocd often latches onto the fear of not being in control of this or that)

[theyapper0]

Litte details abt my Hazbin rewrite that i wanna share :)

OK SO!!! IT'S DOOOOOONEEEE!!!!!!

So I FINALLY finished drawing out everything I wrote out for some major plot point in my hazbin rewrite 😋 BUT!!!

There's some things that I have made art of or talked about that are sorta important (but they're really not, just some silly things that I pictured in this that I never got the chance to talk about yet LOL!!!)

If you don't really care, feel free to skip this but there are some little doodles here too that will basically get all my points across just as well!

-So first point, I've touched on this a little bit here but Niffty and Husk are BROS. Like fr ride or die with each other.

In this rewrite, I want Niffty to have been an overlord like Husk (or at least just as powerful as he is because I feel like Alastor is EXTREMELY attracted to power and he wouldn't just make deals with weak as shit people unless he was gaining something GRAND).

But Husk and Niffty, they both.... really hate Alastor. I think Husk is much more vocal with his hatred towards Alastor but do NOT be fooled, NIFFTY WANTS HIS ASS IN THE GROUND TOO!!!!!!

And I think it's because of this hatred, because of this shared, unfortunate situation that they've both found themselves in in regards to being contracted to the Radio Demon, I think they are really close. Like, they look out for each other and watch each others backs because who else is gonna do it? ALASTOR? LOL!!!!

-Here's my Sir Pentious and Cherri Bomb designs!! I realized when I was making all those drawings for the rewrite that I never drew them! So here they are! 😋

Pentious has prosthetic arms that he made himself not too long after he arrived in Hell YEARS AGO bc I wanted to REAAALLY lean into the whole snake thing. And I also made him more steampunk-y because I think it's cool and that he'd look super adorable with little gear markings on his scales

And I read that Cherri died in around the 80's so I wanted to give her an aussie rocker look LMAOO Wild hair, big ol' hoop earrings and tattered clothes because she's COOL!!

-Niffty is the (m)hotel's maid/rooms keeper still (and it was only SLIGHTLY degrading in the beginning). The biggest reasons Alastor made her the maid is because of her OCD (he's an old man from the 1930's, he thinks OCD means being a neat freak) and because she is able to control all kinds of insects and vermin- which the hotel is INFESTED with

Niffty is also the only one with a spare key to Charlie and Vaggie's house, she's honestly the one they trust the MOST out of everyone at the hotel to have a key to their place in case of an emergency (and she only abuses it SOMETIMES)

-HUSK IS NOT THE HOTEL BARTENDER IN THIS!!!!!!

When I designed the hotel to look more like a motel, obviously there was no place to put a bar and I WANTED THAT! Like, I understand the humor in having a bar in a rehabilitation facility (it IS REALLY FUNNY I KNOW) but I really don't think that, even in this, neither Charlie or Vaggie would allow Alastor or Angel or anyone else to tell THEM what the hotel needs.

Like, they LITERALLY built this place with their BARE HANDS, I think they're both verrrry resistant to any changes and such that others may want to implement (for both the good and bad), even if that person was THE Radio Demon

So instead, Alastor had brought him in as a sorta bodyguard for the hotel (as a huge middle finger to Vaggie, who is not only the hotel manager but also is a very ready protector of this place)

(Husk DOES still sell liquor though, like that is something that is totally happening, it's just very hush-hush. He keeps it in his room and sells it to the patrons of the hotel (sometimes Pretentious and most of the time it's just Angel. Charlie and Vaggie have no idea this is happening))

(Niffty 100% knows since she's the one who cleans the rooms but she wouldn't sell out Husk because that's her bro)

-And speaking of the Radio Demon!!! Neither Charlie or Vaggie are scared of him. I mean, they're not really scared of him in canon (they could be sometimes tho ig)

Charlie is one of the strongest beings in Hell and Vaggie is (secretly) an angel who, as far as they all know, can't be killed by a Sinner. So neither of them are really threatened by him. Vaggie definitely voices this more than Charlie does, in fact, Charlie is almost always more than happy to just let Alastor talk and threaten as much as he wants because she's not violent and is very humble (that's what good people do, right?)

Alastor is also just as good of a Facility Manager of the Hazbin Hotel as he is in canon, and by that I mean he does not do his job and when he does, he sucks at it LOLLLL. He is very unhelpful.

-Sundays are the only day where the hotel isn't doing any reformative work/lessons so it's everyones' day off (it's holy day AMEN!) 

(Charlie WOULD make them pray on Sundays if it wasn't for the fact that every time she would try to guide a prayer, she would bleed from every hole in her body) 

-AND THE LAST POINT IS....

The Hazbin Hotel doesn't JUST do lessons in goodness, they also teach about the 10 Commandments and go on “field trips” to do volunteer work (soup kitchens, cleaning parks, helping Hell with one smile at a time :)

Thanks for reading and be sure to check in tomorrow for the first page of a comic retelling Charlie's meeting with Adam in episode one!!!

[theriddleskeeponriddling]

Rambling : Riddler : Empathy And Riddler’s View On Relationships

I was speaking with my friend about how my Crowverse version of riddler handles friendships, empathy, disorders, ect. I really enjoyed voicing it there, and now I wish to voice it here so I can look to it for reference and whatever. Thank you @a-sxft-chaotic for helping me by psycho-analyzing my Riddler, Much love to you silly Crane2.0. This post may be updated tomorrow when it’s not late and I can think better. Suggestions to anything mentioned here are welcome

Edward has several disorders. Autism, maybe Ocd, Npd ect. He is already born with lower levels of empathy, but with added traumatic childhood experiences, it has only gotten worse. He rarely had any friends has a child. He was too honest. Blunt. And stood out for not expressing sadness or care like other kids. After elementary school, he never made any more friends.

E (Age 7): “Did you not see the sign?”

(A kid, at an indoor pool, sitting with family and crying from a bad knee scrape after running and slipping on a puddle)

L: “Eddie! Just go and ask if he is okay..”

E: “Why are you mad? I told him there was a no running sign. It’s a pool. I told him, so he can be more aware”

L: “I’m not mad, I understand that Eddie just- It’s his birthday I think he would appreciate people checking in on him.. Not telling him he should look for signs next time”

The first closest sort of friend he makes, is a girl named Destiny. A girl often bullied for being of color, and requiring a wheelchair. She is similar to Hannah in the ways of being very empathetic and supportive, traits that Edward finds foolish but admirable in a way. He doesn’t make much effort to be her friend, giving her schoolwork anytime she is away for surgeries; Lending her books that she sees Ed reading; and whatnot. Destiny views Edward as a close friend, and believes he is nice for his treatment to her and the several times that Edward ‘mysteriously’ got her bullies to back away. (blackmail) He slowly starts to get used to her, but the girl, so morally righteous, finds that Edward bought a laptop using money stolen from his father and tells Mr. Nashton, Unaware that Edward would receive a bad fracture to his leg the following night.. This is the first point in which Edward truly starts finding friendships as an inconvenience.

Riddler calls everyone ‘friend’ even after saying how much he despises every person in the Rogues Gallery. He jokes about not having friends, and always claims it as his biggest strength. He doesn’t have anyone to be used as blackmail, He doesn’t need to worry about anyone other than himself, he doesn’t need to worry about losing anyone.. It sounds easier to him. It is a mix of pushing people away, and being overly egotistical that causes Riddler to have no real friendships. Riddler grew up accidentally appearing rude and emotionless to everyone around him, So now he believes it himself. He believes he doesn’t care for anyone, and refuses to make any real connections or offering genuine kindness. His common response to being asked why he is how he is.. “I have always been like how I am today. I’ve always been the best, so why would I change?”

Jon: You think you are the best thing on this planet. That you’re better than everyone else. You say you are too good for relationships but really Edward, you are just a scared man. You want attention. You love it. But if you care for those giving it to you.. you back away. You don’t want the people you care for to leave you Ed. You are scared of being alone, but you think that because you are so much better than us all, you would rather choose to be alone, than have friends leave you just so that your fate is your own doing and not ours.. What? You think that’s some advantage? Choosing to not have friends? Because all I see, is you screwing yourself over the assumption that nobody could possibly care about you.

Riddler is rude for three reasons.

1) His autism prevents him from understanding why he should change his blunt and honest mannerisms, which appear as insults to anyone who is faced with them.

2) He thinks he is better than everyone else, and as such, his opinions matter more than anyone’s emotions. He has so much pride, that he refuses to change anything about himself for the benefit of others. He also sees that caring for others is a weakness. It means putting emotion over strategy and logic, and in his line of work, there is no room for such a risk. Edward believes that nobody should even like him. That he is so rude and emotionally absent that anyone who cares about him, is foolish and makes no sense.

3) He refuses to keep anyone he cares about close.. Caring for himself alone is easier, and if he thinks everyone will leave him in the end, why risk the relationship at all? He is already well disliked, but if he starts becoming fond of anyone, he starts pushing them away with more negativity in the hope that they will leave him now, instead of leaving him later when he is more attached. Choosing the lesser pain.

Riddler’s sisters, Hannah(2-) and Lydia(6+), are the only two he has consistently cared for. After leaving for Gotham at 18, he cuts ties with them, thinking to reconnect again only once he makes a name for himself.. But when the name happens to be for a well known costume criminal, he further refuses to speak with his sisters. He figures they are safer in their hometown, and it means that he doesn’t have to think or worry about them at all.. When he finds out his older sister Lydia moved to Gotham as an officer, Riddler can’t handle the concern that he has avoided, and begs her to leave so that he can forget about her more and so she isn’t at risk. If she is in danger, Edward knows he would risk himself to help, but because he loves himself so much, he hates the idea that he could ever consider sacrificing himself for anyone else..

This is the end of this Rambling session, for now. I do plan to change the little speech for Jon, I need to flesh his character out more, but other than that, this is pretty much all I have going for Edward.

Edit: This Riddler Is Asexual or Demisexual. That form of relationship hasn’t existed for him. Romance is being thought of story-wise, but hasn’t happened for him at any point before age 27

[joeyclaire]

bandersnatch rewatch

taking place in 1984 uk could be an allusion to the book 1984, which is about government surveillance and has themes of rape, encountering one’s deepest fear, and thought crimes, and also takes place in the uk

the 1980s setting also implies negative cultural attitudes around homosexuality

stefan likely takes clomipramine, an ocd medication that used to come in orange and red capsules, but when i looked up side effects i couldn’t find anything that matched

camera angles in early scenes suggest stefan has already thought about killing his father pre canon (especially the way he eyes the ashtray, which he always uses to kill peter and the player doesn’t prompt him to use it)

what is the significance of the bandersnatch book originally belonging to stefan’s mother? perhaps it’s just to hint as early as possible towards her being dead, especially since she apparently never read it

i wonder if the glyph graffiti is there to imply others have had similar experiences or just to foreshadow? the davies case appears to be popular considering even thakur knows his story and a documentary and true crime book were made about it

colin condemns pre-rolled for having strychnine and then. takes lsd? which also sometimes has strychnine? dunno the significance of that but it’s definitely intentional

the colin games being named after metalhead and nosedive don’t appear to be alluding to the episodes for any particular reason other than being easter eggs, but black mirror does easter eggs relating to other episodes just for the sake of it a lot

this has been said but the first ending really is the closest to a happy ending. stefan is very young and brand new to game development and bandersnatch is his very first game; he would have had the opportunity to learn and grow from his failure if he was willing to take the bad review on the chin but since that ending is so unsatisfying the story refuses to allow that

the doors of perception, which thakur references and misattributes to timothy leary, is an autobiographical account of a drug trip and the insights experienced during the trip, foreshadowing the later lsd scene

timothy leary was a psychologist and author who advocated for psychedelics, more lsd scene foreshadowing

i’m defrostin mince :-)

“i think dad thought it was sissy” more gay coding

the rare stefan pov shots are often very shaky

looked up the other true crime books by the lives of jerome f davies, all appear to be made up

stefan’s house is shaped like the glyph

making plans for nigel is so on the nose

picking between the compulsions is why i’m so confident the player is a manifestation of his ocd

pax on the lsd is interesting, no idea what it’s meant to mean though?

colin has a poster for philip k dick’s ubik, a book with themes of cooperate espionage

if you have stefan jump a bus with A NEW CLEAN START drives past

peter appears to have a degree for neuropsychology? but i can’t read the second degree at all

parallels between stefan and his father/davies and his wife

not much to say on program and control route other than it seems to have the most foreshadowing out of all the endings

sex is almost always inherently violent on black mirror, which is why it makes sense that when haynes flirtatiously suggests they add “a little more action,” stefan attacks her (also cause he’s gay)

after chopping up the body stefan doesn’t leave it in his house forever, he hides it in a bag in the nearby woods, also stefan was arrested at 21 meaning two years after the events of the episode

the credits rolling in the pearl ending seems to imply it is the “true” ending (or most true)

[princessofmarvel]

Everything has changed

summary | renfield falls for a girl who would be someone that Dracula would love to get his hands on for a meal. (i suck at summaries lol) 

pairing | robert montague renfield x innocent!fem!reader 

warnings! | some violence where the reader gets hurt! and not really proof read yet, lol.  

wc | 1.1k 

genre | fluff with some angst! 

requested? | yes! i combined two of them since they kind of went together and gave me more to write about! thank you so much for requesting, and for your patience!  author’s note! | hey everyone! i had so much fun writing this fic! it is apart of my "swift series" so go check out those if you would like to! And as always, I do I have really bad OCD that causes me to write in some random capitalization, and punctuation, But I think that we don't have to worry about that in this fic lol. And let me know if there are any mistakes, but please be kind

  Everyone in town thought it was crazy how a girl like you could be dating one of the lobos. Granted it was extended family, but nevertheless still family. It was how you found yourself in such a sticky situation. You overheard your boyfriend discussing how he and his family were going to kill someone. That didn’t sit right with you, and when you confronted him about it, you never expected to become the next target when you were walking home. That night your now ex boyfriend grabbed you and held a gun to your head. 

“You know, sweetheart, this could have all ended so nicely if you just would’ve joined us.” You heard the unmistakable voice of your ex say while holding you to his chest. 

  “Let the girl go.” Said a voice you hadn’t recognized. You looked over to see a man in a suit, with brown hair and blue eyes. A man you couldn’t help but find to be beautiful.  

  It gave you just enough time to bite the man on the arm and break free. You turned around and ran, as far as you could, leaving the gunshots behind you. When you turned around to make sure the other man was okay, you saw your ex on the ground while blood surrounded him. 

That was last week. The effects of how your ex had treated you were starting to get to you, and when you mentioned it to your friend, she recommended this support group she heard someone from work talk about, and you figured it wouldn’t hurt to try. 

  You walked into the gym where the support group was meeting and took the hand out the nice man, who you assumed was the leader of the group, was passing out. When you sat down, you didn’t notice that man that you sat next to just so happened to be your savior from the night before until you turned towards him. 

  “You!” You exclaimed, causing the man to jolt a little and turn towards you, his eyes widening. “You’re the man that saved me! I-I can’t thank you enough, are you alright?” 

Renfield felt his heart warm at you saying he saved you. Especially since saving people isn’t something he had been able to do in a very very long time. 

  “I-I’m alright miss, what about you?” He asked while leaning in a bit, his eyes scanning her for any signs of harm. 

  “I’m okay, just dealing with the aftermath now.” You said with a light laugh. “I’m (Y/n) by the way.” You said while putting your hand out for him to take. 

“Robert Montague Renfield.” He said as he took your hand. 

  The two of you talked silently to each other throughout the meeting, but as you were leaving, you tripped and fell hands first, causing your hands to scrap. 

  “Are you alright?!” Renfield asked while helping you back up and in the process, accidentally getting blood on his hand. 

  “I’m fine, just better get home and clean it. I’ll see you at the diner tomorrow okay?” You said as you watched him nod, and you made your way home, excited to introduce him to your favorite diner across from where you live. 

  When Renfield got back he was greeted with a pissed off looking Dracula. “You’re late!” He yelled at Renfield as Renfield dropped the body of one of the support group's monsters down at Dracula's feet. 

  “Sorry master.” He mumbled while handing his boss a hand only for him to spit it back out. “This is awful!” Dracula yelled while starting to smell a whiff of something. “This is not what I smell Renfield, what is on your hands?” He asked while grabbing Renfields hand. 

  Renfield didn’t even notice the little bit of blood on his hands. He felt the panic rise up in his throat, not knowing how to explain this to his master. “Oh this is nothing, it must be someone that man knew.” 

“Hmmmm, well start bringing me people like that, someone innocent, and kind Renfield. If you brought me that person, well, I could grow back to full power in no time.” 

Over the next few weeks Renfield started seeing you more, but made sure to limit all contact as much as possible. Which he found extremely hard to do considering how much he loved your touch, especially your lips. The two of you had been getting along great. He had even told you about Dracula, since he thought you deserved to know. He swears he fell even more for you when you didn’t run away screaming, and told him you would help him get out of the situation. It was why he found it so odd when you stopped returning his calls. 

Renfield knew something was off. He noticed Dracula barley eating the people that he brought him, but yet he started to look like his old self again. So much so that he decided he was going to go out and pick his own meal for the night, giving Renfield some much needed time to investigate. 

  Renfield was opening every door in the hospital, looking for a sign of anything that could be causing this, when he heard a small whimper of his name that made his heart shatter coming from the next room. He ran and busted the door open only to see something that he swore could have killed him. 

  “R-Ren….” He watched you say in a breathy voice as you attempted to meet his eyes, but couldn’t from how weak you had been. He ran to you undoing the chains that Dracula had you in and held you in his arms as you began to weep. 

  “Shhhh, it’s okay, I'm here now.” He said as he looked at you, his own tears falling onto your face. 

He got you out of there and back to his own apartment where he tended to your wounds, helped you clean up, fed you, gave you as much water as he could, as he wrapped you up in his bed, making sure that you were warm. 

  “Ren….please know that I don’t blame you.” He watched you say as you held on to your glass of water that you drank out of. Renfield felt himself start to choke up at your sign of getting better, it was the first full sentence he had been able to get out of you. 

  “Thank you.” He said as he looked down at you. “Get some rest, love. You’re safe here now, I won’t let anyone hurt you again.”   As he wrapped his arms around you in bed, and watched you set your glass down on the bedside table before you started to fall asleep on his chest, he knew what he had to do. He was never going to risk Dracula being able to get his hand on you again.

Tags! | @kpopgirlbtssvt

[rosasstrangemelody]

uhm hello 🙂‍↕️

im fellow magnifico defender and ive been having a blast reading your blog!! your artworks are (wait for it) magnificent and your posts and reblogs always hit the mark for me 🤲🏻

so, if its not too much trouble, csn i ask what are your fav headcanons for Magnie? and if you ship him with someone, who would that be?

Hi! 👋🏼 I'm glad that someone else found some peace in my corner! Your caring really cheers me up!

Thanks for asking, I'd really love to share some headcanons about our cinnamon roll (I really like this nickname for him, it sounds delicious and creamy!)

So, where do I start...? Ah-ha!

I will start with the first one:

✧• His Zodiac. According to the behaviors I saw from him (and the similarities that exist between me and him), he has the zodiac of Aries (same about Melody) and his birthday is around the beginning of April (you consider the tenth) BUT, but his horoscope is Leo, what most of you guessed and it really reflects his personality. He has the awe and power of a lion.

✧• His originality. Magnifico is a kind of hybrid. His mother, Rosa, is Spanish, and his father, Arnold, is of Scandinavian origin (almost Norworigin). The fiery spirit—and the Viking in him—is just like his father's, as well as their appearance. While his mother is calmer, more compact (but she can also be more fiery than them!) And his father used to tell him stories about his ancestors and was very proud of his origins.

✧• This one is a bit trivial but I like it. His hair is actually a bit wavy-curly, just like his mother's. But because he uses a lot of magical softening solutions, its material has become smoother and silkier.

✧• Another trivial but obvious thing, he is a cat person. Even some of his behaviors are like one (and maybe because he can turn into a cat lately- thanks to Melody)

✧• Maybe someone else mentioned this one before, but I also like it and keep it in my favorites. He is a foodie guy with high metabolism, and he has a sweet tooth– It should be noted that caffeine and sweets do not have such a positive effect on him.

✧• While he has a slightly stubborn, arbitrary and defiant personality towards anyone who doesn't know him properly (which is due to his traumas in my opinion), he lets his guard down in front of the person/people who understand him well and sympathize with him. He opens the gates of his heart to that person in hopes of understanding his decisions and intentions more, but well, most of the time he just gets stabbed right in the heart because they get a wrong impression of him. That's why he is more careful and withdrawn than ever.

✧• What all of Magnifico's defenders and even others know now is that he has PDSD. It's not something new, but it's VERY IMPORTANT because it's a basic foundation in his personality and some special behaviors, that's why he is paranoid and cautious in making decisions. I thought he might have OCD, but I found these symptoms mostly in Melody (as well as DID for her)

✧• I think this big guy knows a little bit of ballet (I mean, look at his shoes and the bandages wrapped around his legs, aren't they familiar?) And this seems to have been taught to him by Amaya (because the ballet dancer at the beginning of the movie is Amaya) and it makes sense if we put these together. So I come to the conclusion that he has a very flexible body ✧.*

✧• In addition to the dignity and awe of a king with iron fists, he behaves more like a quirky princess in his solitude. He acts a bit dramatic and sings to himself songs with irrelevant rhymes– especially if he wants to vent his feelings (he is not a professional musician, so you should not expect a masterpiece from him)

✧• He's still a little kid who has a replica of his own kingdom and plays with his wooden citizens, but only when no one is around. This human is very fond of glittery things, you can find some in his clothes and cape.

I think that's enough for now because the rest will be written in my story - I don't want to spoil his whole character here.

And about shipping him with someone.. Yes, I ship him with my OC, Melody. (Maybe they have a ship name like Magnelody or something, It's easy and fluent to say it.)

Although, I know some people's interest was slightly dampened when I decided that Melody was no longer Magnifico's daughter and I completely changed the story when I started writing it, because I already had another story with a character with the same name and character, then I decided to link them together. The cups were swapped at the last moment!

There are also headcanons for both of them together, if you want, I can tell it in a separate post.

[eviltothecore13]

Hi, I am the worried anon and I am really sorry for bothering you with these questions, I know this topic is unpleasant. Also feel free to ignore or delete this ask! I realize it's very weird that a random stranger pours out their heart in someones ask...

I am one of the people who can become obsessed with fictional characters and I became obsessed with Wesker last year. A weird thing about me is that I can accept crimes like murder etc in fiction (but I do not endorse them of course) and can still like and enjoy characters who did those things, but when it comes to sexual crimes I can't (especially if the victim is way younger and that young like Rebecca). When I read about the picture I was devastated. And I became obsessed with asking other people about their opinion. I absolutely hate it when people see it as canon, make jokes about it etc. I always wanted an answer like it's just a joke, not actually canon, just for the player to see n' stuff. It's absolutely unreasonable how much I worry about it since it's just a Video game and I know Wesker did way worse things but I am still scared that it will be officially confirmed as canon. Ik many Wesker fans will be like oohhh he is into Rebecca and a little bit perverted? Funny XD like it's nothing big but it would absolutely destroy Wesker for me. I asked Kamiya a few months ago if it's canon that Wesker preyed on her or if it's just an easter egg and he said ask Capcom. And of course the Resident Evil, Capcom Accounts didn't answer because the people who maintain the Accounts aren't the writers nor devs. But I can absolutely see Kamiya confirming it as canon because something like that is typical Japanese Humor and he wouldn't see it as big Deal to make a character a creep. I love many things about Wesker but I couldn't accept him having a crush on someone who is only 18. And yes, I was diagnosed with OCD some years ago but that's my dumbest obsession so far. Someone on Twitter also kinda tried to convince me even if it's a joke it's canon and that many people misinterpret Wesker and he's absolutely able to be a creep and pervert and showed me answers from Kamiya from ten years ago where he said Wesker hid it well and claimed that without the photo there wouldn't be the Wesker Mode, that he creeped most likely on Jill and even that a former concept Art of Excella resembled Rebecca, maybe because it's his type. (I saw the short haired Excella and she didn't Look like Rebecca tho). I just want an official answer like it's not canon, no lore but that will never come... I love parts of the Wesker fandom but I am always worrying do I enjoy and ship a character who creeps on teenage girls? I know it would be for the best to just leave the fandom but on the other hand Wesker fanwork etc gives me so much Joy... And I am also not sure to tell my potential therapist about that since it's kinda embarrassing... And the weirdo who harasses people about that photo makes me unsure again... Another person asked him if Wesker is a creep and pedo towards Rebecca and Kamiya said do not take everything seriously but I am still afraid that he sees it as canon but no big deal bc funny rather than saying that it's just a non lore joke... As far I am aware a 3D modellist made the photo since it's kinda his hobby and Kamiya didn't stop him because he said playfulness is important... Sorry for the long text

I think it is clear that it was intended as a silly joke, was not intended to be an important part of Wesker's characterisation, and has never been followed up on by anything canon where Wesker never expresses attraction to Rebecca (or, indeed, to Excella, who he mostly seems quite creeped out by--even if her early concept art had been designed to be like Rebecca, concept art isn't canon, and I don't think short hair is enough to be a resemblance really.) Or to Jill, I know people talk a lot about Jill's RE5 outfit, but they forget that while the action figures and promo images show her with it unzipped, in-game it's zipped up almost all the time and also frequently covered with a plague doctor robe, she's not really walking around in a very sexualised outfit all the time. Kamiya tends to troll people and also is not someone who's ever written Wesker in a major way, so he's not going to take his characterisation or questions about it very seriously.

I totally understand sexual crimes being more disturbing to you than murder--far more people know someone who's a victim of sexual crimes than know someone who's been murdered, for one thing, so it's much closer to home for a lot of people. Ultimately though there really is not serious canon evidence for Wesker committing any sexual crimes. RE has a bit of a history of Easter Eggs that can unfortunately get creepy--for instance, Sheva's "secretary" alternate costume in RE5, apparently if you look from certain angles it becomes clear she isn't wearing underwear--clearly this says nothing about characterisation as I don't think anyone seriously thinks Sheva would ever go into combat wearing a skirt with no underwear! Or indeed that most of the characters would ever wear many of their alt costumes (much as I like Leatherman Chris). Wesker Mode is even more non-canon than the alt costumes and literally has Wesker saying Billy's dialogue.

Also, he's a fictional character, you can headcanon and interpret him how you like. I've seen headcanons that vary widely from fics where he's gay, or bi but mostly into men, fics where he's ace or aspec, there's all kinds of possible interpretations of the character that aren't "creeps on women" which is an unfun and offputting interpretation. Don't listen to weirdos on twitter or people just trying to pick fights--it sounds like they don't like the character and are trying to ruin your fun. If you can't just focus on the stuff you enjoy in this fandom and not think about the opinions of people who aren't even Wesker fans, I'd recommend taking a break, and yes maybe speaking to a therapist--I know it might seem embarrassing to have an irrational worry, but that's exactly the kind of thing a therapist is trained to deal with and a good one won't judge.

[friend-of-a-cat]

My 7th Dragon III OCs so far!!!!

Adding a read-more link because it's kind of long lol.

Haruka "Haru" Akamatsu | He/him | 24 | Samurai | ISTP-A

Japanese

Aromantic, uranic and demialterous

His parents suck, and he's an only child, though he's been disowned

Aloof and quite emotionally distant

Doesn't talk much, but is very direct and honest when he does

Surprisingly level-headed

A germaphobe (hence the mask - he doesn't wear it to look dark and mysterious, but people think he does)

Doesn't usually care about what people think about him, but sometimes there's a nagging feeling at the back of his mind that he can't get rid of

Despite what he gives off, he does actually care about people a lot, and wants to help them

Has resigned himself to not having any friends because he doesn't think anyone wants to be in his life (which he is wrong about)

Shrugs and grunts a lot

Cold and efficient in combat

Very rarely trusts people, and never talks about himself

Is a chronic smoker and has given up on quitting

Marches to the beat of his own drum

Doesn't care for authority

Loves reading and owns a lot of books

Doesn't have very many possessions outside of his book collection - as such, his apartment is very minimal (besides the bookshelves, he's one of those guys who has a mattress on the floor and a tv and that's about it)

Loves music and plays a couple of instruments (bass guitar, lead guitar and classical piano)

Exhausted 24/7

Owns a motorbike

Likes alone time, but also feels very lonely

Very touch-starved, but also hates being touched (he desperately needs a hug)

Has CPTSD and depression, and is desensitised to a lot of stuff

Either barely sleeps or sleeps to much

Sometimes plays music with Yuki

Adores cats and wants one for himself, but is worried that he won't be able to properly care for it

Has accrued many scars from combat

Cares for Mio like she's a younger sibling, but tries not to make it obvious

Him and Zero were already close friends before the events of the game

In some kind of poly relationship with Zero and Rin - embarrassed by any display of affection, but doesn't hate it

He and Lilith have a truce because they both respect each other's ability to not give a shit

Despises Yuma at first, and gives him the cold shoulder every chance he gets

---

Jin "Zero" Okabe | He/him | 23 | Agent | ENFP-A

Japanese-Australian - was born and raised in Australia (one of his parents is Japanese, the other is Australian), but moved to Japan a couple of years prior to the events of the game to escape his old life

His parents and sister, who is two years younger than him, all suck

Quoiromantic and pansexual

Is a guy, but also an avid collector of xenogenders on top of that

Is a freelance programmer, a hacker, and a graffiti artist

A gamer™

Loves music and is always listening to it, even in combat (he's usually tapping along to some kind of beat)

Doesn't make music or play any instruments, and is impressed that Haru and Yuki can and do

Laid-back and outgoing, with a corny sense of humour

Very talkative

Usually never leaves his apartment because it's his happy place (and he's scared of the outside world)

His apartment is very messy, but he knows where things are (mostly)

Is usually pretty cheerful and postive, but that's often just him overcompensating

Also doesn't care for authority

Swears like a trooper, but is trying not to around Aika because he doesn't want it to rub off on her (he thinks she'll get in trouble for it, which she will, because her household does not swear)

Often terrified in combat, but hides it well

Is riddled with mental health issues (OCD, CPTSD, anxiety and depression), but hasn't told anyone about any of it because he doesn't want to be a burden

Has ADHD

Is on call with people seemingly all the time

A huge fan of parallel play

Used to skate a lot (he was a rollerblader and a skateboarder), but doesn't do it as much anymore

Pretty on top of things when it comes to his work, but a mess in other areas in his life

Barely sleeps, yet it somehow always very alert (probably a combination of energy drinks and sugar, though he's also naturally full of energy)

Treats Aika like a younger sibling (they usually bicker, but are genuine friends) - they met in a co-op MMORPG a year before the events of the game, and are in the same guild

Him and Haru were also already close friends before the events of the game

In some kind of poly relationship with Haru and Rin - he loves them in whatever ways he can, and makes it known

Gets on very well with Yuki (they usually goof off together)

---

Aelrin "Rin" Eisenguard | He/they | 24 | Rune-Knight | INFJ-A

Atlantian

An only child of a caring yet sickly widowed mother (his other mother, a blacksmith, died in combat trying to defend their home)

Demiromantic, demialterous, demisexual (a triple threat) and uranic

A fantastic listener, and has unintentionally become the gang's reluctant therapist because of it

Very kind and considerate, sometimes more than he should be given the situation

A people pleaser

He's a bit meek and socially awkward, but still very friendly, so people gravitate towards him

Has been pretty independent since he was a child, and doesn't mind his own company, though he also likes being around others, even just in silence

Stays calm under pressure, but is otherwise perpetually (though inwardly) stressed-out

Loves reading, and often reads near Haru whilst he is also reading

Is understandably very confused about now being in 2100 Tokyo, since he's from the distant past, but is a quick learner, so can pick things up pretty easily

Loves cooking, and is the designated cook (alongside Haru)

Is being taught by Haru to play the piano, and also by Zero to play video games

The tallest in the gang

Needs a break

A big fan of bladed weapons

A huge nerd in general, and especially gets giddy when he talks about blacksmithing, books or legends

A writer - usually writes journal entries about new things he learns (he loves learning new things), as well as fiction

Gets on very well with Yuki, despite the fact that they are polar opposites

Regularly goes on Wikipedia-adjacent deep-dives now that he knows what that is

Secretly reads fanfic after Aika told him about it and is enthralled by the concept of it

In some kind of poly relationship with Haru and Zero - gets flustered pretty easily, but loves them a lot

Likes that Lilith is quiet, because he can be quiet with her without any expections (he thinks she's quite harsh, but doesn't exactly dislike her, since they're both in a similar situation) - they usually nod at each other when they see each other

---

Aika Fujimoto | She/her | 15 | Duelist | ENFP-T

Japanese

Has loving and supportive parents, two brothers (one older and one younger) and an older sister

An asexual lesbian

Partially a girl, partially agender

Spunky and outgoing

Is quite sensitive and often overwhelmed, though rarely shows it

A gamer (a huge board game, card game, video games and TTRPG fan)

Has won several card game tournaments

A huge sweet tooth (and foodie, in general), and loves going to new food places

A hopeless romantic

She would definitely be one of those people who play cosy games but in an obsessive and micro-managing way (she wouldn't be toxic about it, but you'd best believe she has 3000+ hours in Animal Crossing: New Horizons and is anal about her island)

Usually minces her words around most people (unless they're horrible, in which case she won't hold back), but is pretty open around people she's close with

Comeback queen

Despite being popular, people tend to think she's too much sometimes, so she has a lot of acquaintances and only a few friends

Pouts when she's teased or doesn't get her way

Is constantly taking photos with her phone camera

Is besties with Mio (think of the "they asked for no pickles" dynamic, where Mio is the shy one and Aika is the more outspoken, protective one)

People tend to underestimate her, but she actually very much knows what she's doing

Loves shoujo manga and romance/slice-of-life media

Treats Zero like an older sibling (they usually bicker, but are genuine friends) - they met in a co-op MMORPG a year before the events of the game, and are in the same guild

A burnt-out perfectionist and gifted kid with a deep-seated fear of messing up

Is very amused by Haru, Zero and Rin being in a relationship, and often playfully teases them about it

Is also besties with Yuki (she treats him like an older sibling), and they often go out to the arcade or to eat together

---

Yuki | Any pronouns | 22 | God-Hand | ESFJ-A

Japanese

An only child to a loving single father who is trying his best

Demiromantic, panromantic and asexual (sex-repulsed)

Genderfluid

Loves food and is often eating it (she has a designated snack space just for herself in the dorm area)

Frequents a particular ramen restaurant so much that he is now friends with the owners

A gym fanatic

Trains diligently, but is very laid-back outside of that

Likes fighting games

A skateboarder - they're trying to get Zero back into it

Often acts before she thinks, sometimes to her detriment (or the detriment of others)

Gets riled up easily, but is pretty easygoing otherwise

Likes punching things

Taunts opponents both in combat and when playing competitive games

A big fan of motivation speeches (owns multiple of those motivational cat posters)

Is besties with Aika (he treats her like a younger sibling), and they often go out to the arcade or to eat together

Used to be a drummer in an underground punk rock band, but isn't anymore

Still friends with her ex, who used to be the bassist in said band with her (she also plays the bass)

Sometimes plays music with Haru

A baggy clothing enjoyer

Himbo energy

The gang has banned her from drinking alcohol because something crazy always happens when she does so

Gets on very well with Zero (they usually goof off together)

Also gets on very well with Rin, despite the fact that they are polar opposites

Usually bickers with Lilith

---

Lilith Celestine | She/they | 22 | Fortuner | INTP-A

Atlantian

Her parents are distant, and she has an older sister that gets all the praise

Aroace (romance- and sex-repulsed)

Acts like she doesn't care about anything, and usually doesn't

Very cold, sarcastic and deadpan

A sweet tooth and a caffeine addict

Very short

Is usually found sleeping, reading or playing video games by herself (she immediately got addicted to playing video games after Zero and Aika showed them to her)

Doesn't talk to people if she can help it

Is surprisingly calculating

Likes cats and other fluffy animals

Definitely a Sanrio-adjacent fan

Loves winning arguments, though doesn't actively search them out

Doesn't actually seem to mindall that much about being in 2100 Tokyo - in fact, she likes it

Brutally honest, and doesn't see a problem with it

Is a spoiled brat most of the time

Doesn't really know how to make friends, and has convinced herself she doesn't need them, even though she does kind of want them

Has given up on herself due to the fact she can seemingly never meet her parents' high expectations for her

Sighs a lot

Gets bored easily

Thinks she can get away with anything, and she usually can because people are endeared to her depite everything

Do not let her near a kitchen or she will burn it down

Actually holds some respect for Rin, probably because they're in similar situations and he's quite intelligent and level-headed - they usually nod at each other when they see each other

She and Zero have a truce because they both respect each other's ability to not give a shit

Bickers with Yuki

Finds Aika grating, but can't find it in her heart to hate her

[pink-slay]

I cannot begin to describe you each small horror of being severely disabled, except I can, and I am.

Many low supports need people dislike distinctions between HSN/severe disability and LSN and ambulatory disability, but there are some days, weeks, moments where the distinction is just so important.

Don't get me wrong, my support needs being identified how they are allows me to receive home healthcare and other things I could not otherwise access without diagnosis and labels and severity. However, that isn't what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about community and loneliness-- isolation and dehumanization and loss.

Cleaning is particularly challenging even though I'm just talking to the person so it goes somewhat how I want it, but the anger that brews inside me has a lot to do with the fact that being severely disabled puts me at the whims of others in every minuscule thing in my life, and it is a struggle non-severely disabled people or those without caregivers simply do not have.

Yes, people with LSN disabilities have to deal with being somewhat at the whims of others (and there are others who have to deal with it more so than me), but I can't even take things out of my caregiver's hands and do them for myself. It isn't just painful; I literally cannot.

I loved the way I did things before my physical disability progressed (and I know to have a before at all is a privilege). It was extraordinarily difficult, but I still had so much more control. I have OCD (genuinely not like trendy) and (lower support needs) autism and I have a very specific process of systematically cleaning and organizing my room too.

However, caregivers care about efficiency (even sometimes friends or family members). They often don't give a fuck about where stuff is or if it's accessible to you after the fact. They just need it out of their way. They just want your space to look less ugly.

I just keep thinking about this and how it is so so so unfair. So many people have posted similar things, but today it is just getting to me. So much has happened when trying to receive care that entirely devalues any preference I have (and often my needs).

I've been told to be polite and kind which did not allow for involuntary wincing to significant changes to my organization system. I was told wincing was rude, and if that was going to continue, my caregiver would stop.

I've been entirely ignored in the process despite willingness and wanting to help explain complex organizational systems I try (and usually fail due to disability and uncaring caregivers) to fulfill.

I've gotten reactions of disgust or pity.

All I try to do is be polite. Sometimes my tone is more flat. Sometimes it looks like I may sob. However, always, I end up feeling emptier afterwards. I try so much in every way in my life, but when I stand up for myself, it's as if I am universally perceived as overbearing.

People say disabled people deserve autonomy, but often they don't like that autonomy in practice.

Months ago I read my mother a post about disabled autonomy and she said how it really opened her eyes, all while she wasn't respecting my choices, wants, and needs.

Disabled people are pitied and hated and ignored, but if you could see all the bright colors I coordinate and all the squishmallows and earrings and storage containers I have, you would know how much every little thing means to me.

Non-disabled people and LSN disabled people make choices every day. Choices we all inevitably have varying opinions on, but those choices should be just that: choices.

If severely disabled people are denied such a right to choose the most basic or joyous things, disabled people may survive, but we don't truly live.

[system-network]

Papyrus and Sans (AU) headcanons

I made sure that they all were in character, it's been forever since I wrote for anything Undertale related

Undertale

🦴Sans

-Aroace king right here

-I want to say that they are Transfem but I don't think he would care too much about how others perceive his gender

-He has ADHD and OCD

-He'll clean out his trumpet multiple times a day because of it

-It's like, the one thing he'll do

-One time Frisk wanted to help Papyrus clean, so they moved Sans sock from the living room and he kinda just stood there

-He wasn't upset at Frisk or Papyrus, of course not- but he liked the sock being there for some reason

-I don't have much for OG Sans, my apologies

🦴Papyrus

-Cis male and demi sexual

-He's just happy to be there, trust

-He has so much love to pass around, and I think that's obvious

-He has autism, and maybe ADD??

-Again, maybe on the ADD part

-He's never told anyone, but he can read Wingdings as well as sign language

-He wanted to learn, so he taught himself

-He was thrilled that he did, because when Frisk tried signing to monsters Papyrus was the one who could fully understand

-He taught other humans and monsters when the barrier broke

-He was so happy to help

-He's very unaware of his voice volume

-He tries so hard to not get too loud when excited, but he can only keep it in for sooo long

Underfell

🦴Sans (Red)

-Cis dude

-Doesn't really care about pronouns tbh

-He's also definitely Omni

-People always give him a brooklyn accent for some reason?

-I mean, I get it, but I don't think they were alive when monsters were on the surface so he wouldn't be around those kinds of accents?

-Unless other monsters have one, then I guess it makes sense

-Gold tooth is just because it makes him seem tougher

-Plus, when he was a baby Edge threw her bottle at him a little too hard and now he has a missing tooth

-It's just something he pops into his mouth, there isn't really a dentist under ground LOL

-He also has a lisp because of this

-He's so dumb omg

-Red can't pretend to fall asleep, he just can't

-He has to help kids whenever he sees one needing help

-He can't help it, he has big brother instincts!!

🦴Papyrus (Edge)

-Transfem queen

-I don't make the rules

-She is Transfem and sapphic!!!

-She's a good cook, if her food isn't up to her standers she will throw it out

-She likes fashion

-Look at her BOOTS, you just know she likes looking good

-Isn't as tall as the other Papyrus’, so the boots help

-No matter how hard she is on Red, she loves her brother dearly

-She just doesn't know how to fully show that without being on the verge of tears

-She's strong physically, but emotionally.. she'll need help in that department

-She has PTSD

-That much is obvious

Underswap

🦴Sans (Blue)

-He is my genderqueer aroace king

-I'm sorry, but dude isn't actively looking for romance

-He's energetic, but only when it's things he likes

-Like, he'll be sooo unenthusiastic but then he'll see a show he likes and gets so hyped

-Talks with his hands

-I tried to refrain from the “echo bodies”, but I have to mention that Blue is chubby

-This is a man, he has a stomach and no one can fight me on this

-He's also a little shit

-I DON'T MAKE THE RULES

-He's a smug bastard, just trust me

-He has OCD

🦴Papyrus (Stretch)

-I like to say trans masc

-Trans Masc or Bigender

-Bro is fluid in his gender regardless

-He also doesn't care for labels tbh, he just likes what he likes

-He's also energetic, but he gets burned out fast

-He forgets what he puts in his pockets often

-Bro is wearing cargo pants, too many pockets for him to keep track

-He definitely writes

-Horror stories? Yes. Sci-fi? Of course! Romance? Perchance…

-Annoying younger brother energy

-He likes annoying others, but I a like “oh you-” kinda way

-Also autistic!!!

-I love him so much don't get me started

[not-too-many-eyes]

ezra theodore for the character ask game!

Thank you Very Much :)

favorite thing about them

I love it every time Ezra is being an insensitive autistic boy white knighting too close to the sun, and when he shows his rigid beliefs and kinda conservative values lol. I love how he just- fucking calls Dessert Flannel Hysterical because "arcanists are more prone to hysteria and delusion"

And his stubbornness when Spathodea is understandably upset at him for making plans to "renovate" an IMPORTANT SPIRITUAL, CULTURAL AND HISTORICAL place for arcanists without asking her first. Like, it's so funny. He thinks he's being so reasonable and then you look and he's being stubborn about it in his room cause "he was just helping why didn't she understand :(" he needs to be beaten with hammers.

I also just like his justice sensitivity a lot. That one post that goes "justice sensitivity isn't an immediately a good thing" guy is out here scaling a mountain for a flower that'll be a symbol of hope because he read it in a book when he was younger cause he's depressed about the state of the world. Before turning around and saying that he "fits human stereotypes" because he doesn't understand humor. No Self Awareness. I love him.

least favorite thing about them

It's when they try to play up his "He's a sweet angel who just wants to help" without any of the spice that makes him fun to watch lol. I liked his character story because it's just full of Ezra being incredibly funny but I dislike how much it leaned into the idea he's a sweet angle who can do no wrong.

favorite line

Oh that's hard hm...tie between this

Because it's really funny to me that this implies Ezra thinks he's one of the most stereotypical human human to ever exist...while he's climbing a dangerous mountain on his own. Like he's out here being like "I'm the most stereotypical normal human" and then three scenes later he's taking experimental possibly deadly drugs to get a flower. Like. Boy- His greetings line is also really funny:

Please be careful. I'm collecting the spores on the mushroom canopy. Even the slightest breath will blow them all over the place … The last thing I want to see is mushrooms growing all over the neat suitcase. I mean, I love mushrooms, but … we have to keep it moderate.

Cause we know for a Fact he's not keeping it moderate. Spathodea Bond: Night:

Hey, hey! Wake up, Vertin, wake up! I was sleeping in my room and started to sneeze like crazy, and then I saw something pop into the window… It's mushrooms! From Ezra's room! They have filled up his room already and are still multiplying! We gotta do something, or the suitcase will become a mushroom garden!

This also implies that the mushrooms in Ezra's room are growing uncontrolled and unfettered. This kid's room is a biohazard. It's really funny to me.

brOTP

This would be Contamination OCD exposure therapy. My friend has to listen to me infodump about this every 2 weeks without stop. I'm hoping for more crumbs of them because I cannot get their dynamic out of my head. I keep on wanting to Draw Mesmer Jr-Ezra Mezmerizer with Ezra as Miku and Mesmer Jr as Teto. I think this says everything about how I perceive them.

OTP

nOTP

random headcanon

Technically him having autism is a hc so that I guess that- for a more fun elaboration on that. I think he's undiagonised and he's going to remain undiagionised until he starts to realize that most humans don't actually function like he does. Otherwise he's just going to "But I'm a perfectly normal human?" It.

unpopular opinion

...Does he have enough fans that unpopular opinions can form? Idk, I don't find the Medpoc-Ezra Dynamic too fun ig but that might be because I've been too focused on him and Mesmer lol.

song i associate with them

Hm...haven't been able to think of one (I have tried though) Maybe Heat Abnormal cause he seems like a Heat Abnormal kid but that doesn't feel quite right.

favorite picture of them

Without spoiling Patch 2.1 because my actual favorite is from there cause he looks so silly it's his Insight 2:

I just really like how he looks here.

[liquidstar]

❤️ for anyone you like with an interesting answer except the main 5, 🍓 for Al, 🐞 for Alkes, ❗️ for Barnard, 🎒 for Juno ^_^

This one ended up being kinda long too so! Under the cut again ^_^

❤️ (heart) - Who is the most important person to your character? To what lengths would they go to protect this person?

Oh I thought of a few examples for this, a few of which fall under “intense devotion” but some are just parental feelings and family bonds-

An example of the latter, Vela has had Ran for about 3 years, and if anything happened to her they would blow everyone in this ocean up. And though these aren’t singular people, Venus would go through any lengths imaginable to protect her grandkids- same applies to Vesta and Pyxis though they don’t show it as intensely. Orion would do the exact same for all the guild kids, not just Capella. And in terms of siblings, Itonda would do whatever it takes to make his little sister happy!!!!

But see, these are all, like, normal. On the extreme devotion side of things… There’s Koe and Percy’s respective relationships with Andy. Both of them idolize her to the extreme. For Koe, she’s an impossibly bright star, a savior, someone she would happily work herself to the bone for. For Percy, she’s his liege- a knight exists to protect, and so Andy is his reason for being. There’s no order he would turn down, if it came from her. But… Andy just wants to be regular friends. 

There’s also Errai, who is soooo incredibly desperate for approval from Pluto that he’d do next to anything. The way he sees it, Pluto rescued him and gave him a home in tartarus (No matter how fucked up of a place it is, it’s a place where Errai can exist), so he owes them everything, and wants desperately to be acknowledged as having been worth saving. He’s kind of like a dark mirror to Al’s feelings on his father (Though this isn’t about the main 5 rn lol)

And Imai… I’m not sure how much I wanna say, because for her it’s mostly backstory stuff but she used to be on a team of three, and there’s one way to very quickly find out who the most important to you is. 

🍓 (strawberry) - Does your oc believe in anything? Are they superstitious? Religious? Atheistic? Has anything in their past made them this way?

This may be different in the modern au (or actor au but that’s pretty much a different character), but in-universe the main spiritual beliefs generally focus around the divine comet. Al doesn’t necessarily strongly believe in it, but he definitely thinks it has to be some sort of greater power that people just can’t quite understand. He’s fine not understanding, he sees it as benevolent at the very least. Really, no one can say they feel any malice after experiencing it- it’s like a familiar kindness.

🐞 (ladybug) - What does a perfect day look like for your oc? What do they do? Who do they see?

See, I joke about Alkes being a little murderboy, but in reality that’s not, like, his actual hobby. Honestly, a perfect day for him would be waking up early, putting together a cute outfit, getting to skip around town in it for a while (Maybe get a sweet breakfast while he’s there), getting some shopping done (more cute clothes), relaxing at home with some nice tea, and perhaps a small break from all the peace+quiet by going into the guildhall and making fun of his guildmates (all his zingers hit. They’re devastated), then a big ol dinner, and then he can go back to his room and read a nice book. He’s actually pretty chill when he’s not maiming. 

❗️(exclamation point) - What was the scariest moment of your character’s life? Does it still affect them? 

I don’t want to give away specifics, because it gets into backstory stuff, but… For a lot of people with OCD, there was a “moment” where it feels like it all started, especially if something really rattled them. In reality it’s not actually as clear-cut (Like, you could be showing signs of OCD before that definitive breaking point) but most people who’ve been through this remember the first time they Really acted out a compulsion, because it would stick with them for a long time. 

🎒 (backpack) - What items does your oc usually carry? Do they have a bag or just keep everything in their pockets? Do they carry a lot or a little?

Juno is the most underprepared guy in the world. He barely leaves the guild and he doesn’t care to, like, own a lot of things. At the most he will have a backpack to fill with books, but that’s mostly just to transport them rather than carry them around all day. He has pockets but they’re usually just filled with lint. Juno walks into every situation ready to leave at any moment so there’s no need to prepare. He will just fucking leave.

[puzzleemerald]

MORE FANFIC SHIP ART, LET'S GO! (I have a crippling addiction to commissioning art; send help) This piece was a YCH (Your Character Here) done for me by ItsNattie yet again—you'll be seeing a lot of her work on my blog.

Please don't reblog!

Time to wax poetic and ramble about my OC nonsense for five-plus paragraphs again! Remember, none of this is related to RP; I'll be talking about the FanFiction version of Amaterasu! The version of her I roleplay with is a separate thing! The last thing I want is other Inuyasha RPers avoiding me because they think I'll only RP exclusively with Sesshōmaru RPers! >< I'm happy to interact with anyone! ♥️

Sesshōmaru is one of my oldest childhood crushed ever; Inuyasha was such a big part of my childhood because my family had the complete collection of DVDs, so it just makes too much sense I'd end up having an OC shipping with him as an adult. He's such a beautiful character, for one; I am cripplingly weak to guys with long hair. However, he's also so mysterious without being like... super edgy and broody, like this ethereal ghost with his own goal separate from literally everyone. Just flying around, doing his own thing, kicking ass, and looking fabulous doing it.

For me, making an OC for a pairing is the best excuse to get super OCD and channel my autistic brain into hours upon hours of studying a canon character—in this case, studying Sesshōmaru. People just fascinate me. Well... specifically, fictional people fascinate me. Real people are scary. However, when I was conceptualizing Amaterasu—this was long before I'd named her and settled on making her the Shinto Kami of the Sun—I couldn't for the life of me think of what would make good chemistry with such a complex character as him.

Sesshōmaru has so much subtlety to him that it's hard to tell what he's thinking or feeling, even with context clues. As I got older, though, it hit me. If Sesshōmaru is mysterious and powerful, the best counterpart would be someone equally powerful... but more open! (Note: I've never read the Manga, and this was before I'd seen The Final Act, and waaay before Yashahime was a thing... so I had no idea SesshRin was gonna be a canon thing. XD)

...Then my sadist brain had a Metal Gear Solid alert sound effect moment, lol. What if I made her a Kami, thus an opposite to him, and ran with a Romeo and Juliet-esque situation where they can never be happy together in the end? I thought I was being so clever back then, lol.

From there, I was like a woman possessed, writing about ten pages of headcanons, situations, etc., daily for a week. (Unfortunately, it was all on paper, and those old notes have been lost to time... very sad.) I not only wrote about potential interactions between Amaterasu and Sesshōmaru but also possible interactions and dynamics she might (in my FanFic, this doesn't = my expectations for people I RP with) have with other canon characters like Inuyasha, Kagome, Kikyō, Koga, Miroku, Sango, etc..

It was one of those magical moments where this fictional person you've made up in your head just comes alive, y'know? I love Amaterasu so much; I love that she's physically, mentally, and spiritually powerful. In many ways, despite seeming like such a calm, carefree queen, she wears her heart on her sleeve with her actions. I relate a lot to her perfectionism and always trying to be someone worthy. It was also entertaining to dive into the psychology of what it's probably like to be someone like Amaterasu... she was born in the highest position there is; she is the personification sun that keeps the world alive, and in Shinto, she's depicted as the mother of Japan (Grandmother to the first ever Emporer) and the most respected woman in the land. She's a god, but I imagine the way she thinks would be very human since the Shinto's depictions of their "gods," the kami, are very different from how modern religions depict gods.

The Kami are spirits of nature itself; they have enormous personalities to explain away why certain things happen, much like the Greek Pantheon. Yet, in my research, the Shinto Kami feel closer to humans than the Greek Gods because the Olympians stay on Olympus 90% of the time while Kami live and breathe their duty, their element. So I write Amaterasu as a figure of strength, warmth, and tenacity with a flaring temper she tries to manage so others don't get hurt. She admires other women who show inner strength and fight with their own hands, but she doesn't scrutinize women who are content to be passive or meek, either. She's protective of humans because she sees them all as her children and wants them to live long, fulfilling lives on whatever path they choose for themselves.

Throughout her story, Amaterasu tries so hard to do her best at everything she does, not just tunnel-visioning on defeating Naraku (her main objective and only ticket home) but stopping to help anyone in trouble or need, even if it might slow her down or delay her from reaching that big goal she's after. It's probably part of her I admire most; she's a good samaritan even if it's "beneath her," or "doesn't benefit her," or could even "hinder her" in some way.

She's an ideal I wish my cynical ass could be, lol.

[tonydaddingham]

orwellian's a great word for it actually. "appropriate raiments will be provided" is the most disturbing thing in the whole series and i stand by that. this interpretation of heaven has definitely coloured my reading of the show especially how i see the fall so it's cool to see someone who agrees!

hard agree that pure coercion would be a total cop out. it's just that he does seem nervous so i do think he's aware of a certain degree of potential danger. i initially thought the metatron must have let slip an implication somewhere but i much prefer your idea that he suspected something. and well. i've been saying basically since season 2 came out that accepting the offer doesn't equal having completely fallen for it. will come back to that in my thoughts on the whole mess that was that domestic.

the blanket permission to come scream at you is greatly appreciated and i'll definitely make use of it; i love this kind of media dissection and speculation. 🦭

(p.s. i did indeed end up making the chekov's list since my ocd never can leave well enough alone lol. brace yourself: incoming!)

hihi again, 🦭 anon!!!✨

yes!!! in the context of 1984, especially, that line really is ominous; obviously there is a fine line between a corporate uniform and dictated dress, especially as the only scene where we see all of the angels look the same (iirc) is the waiting platoon in s1. otherwise, all of the angels do have individual dress/style (but similar enough to show belonging), even in the job scene, even if certain elements of their designs indicate shared rank or moral alignment... but the implication of subjugation made by clothes being specifically chosen for the prospective mind-wiped gabriel is... interesting.

and of course - aziraphale's outfit is very different to that of the other angels, in it being actual human clothing, and showing unashamed signs of wear and comfort. i remarked in a post that in job especially, his jobes (job robes) are very similar in aesthetic to that of michael and gabriel compared to say muriel's. could be that it's the appropriate dress of a principality rank, but im not... wholly convinced.

anyway, let's get on with your list!!! a herculean effort, truly!!! hope you don't mind, but a) ive copied and pasted it under the cut, because b) id love to use it as a checklist for myself (and of course if anyone else does!) re: things ive talked about, or indeed things that i have Thoughts on... or even things that i haven't thought to talk about and will probably look into doing so in the future!!!✨✨

episode 1:

starting with the big one there's the pre-fall sequence. the fall itself. talked a lot about these two things/the whole theme in general, found under the #the fall/the great war spec tag

maggie's spelling under the #we need to talk about maggie theory tag - babygirl is an angel, im convinced of it

"what's the point of it all" i mean, kinda talked about this in connection with stuff under the #god is dead theory tag, and in a couple of different asks; mainly that god doesn't give two hoots about any of it, and just wanted to give everyone and everything free will - and they have to work out the consequences for themselves (whilst she throws in a few chaotic sprinkles to keep things interesting)

shax's insider information about heaven ive definitely not discussed shax at all really, and i definitely have a few things id like to work out... main one being, for me, how she went from wondering where aziraphale was in ep3, to suddenly knowing how to exactly triangulate his position in ep4 finally talked about her in the #shax meta tag!!!

the demons being on half rations didn't really think to look at this!!! that could be interesting, especially with the short-staffed comment... someone did put to me that bc the apocalypse failed, everyone on earth continues dying and adding to the population of the Damned, so the work vs demon ration is steadily getting outweighed... but hm, could be something more than that!

"something terrible" because are we sure we're sure that that was about the stuff we've already seen you know, i wondered this too after ep6!!! it was a very interesting choice of words for me, bc whilst yes gabriel's fate was looking pretty shit, the line was almost a bit... well, over-announced? they kept repeating it? like, gabriel said he had to bring the box to aziraphale/the bookshop otherwise something terrible would happen... but why specifically the shop? is it just because aziraphale is the only angel/sanctuary on earth? is it because he was drawn to an angel that's also fallen for a demon? is it because aziraphale is simply kind? i don't trust that it's any of these explanations at all (or maybe all of them and another besides)... and tbh i think god has something to do with it. another speculation for the to-do list!!!

the book of life this one ive remarked on a fair bit under the #book of life theory tag, but it's fairly disjointed from other bits and pieces - tbh i probably need to do a long post at some point as to where all my theories etc join up... bc for the moment all of them are full of loopholes

michael and uriel's power politics oooooh i literally don't have a single scooby on this... id have to think on this a little more

the very highlighted matchbox quote this one ive had sat in the drafts for ages bc i can't quite parse it out - where does leviathan come into it? is it a reference to crowley-as-aziraphale spitting fire during the execution? why would it be on a matchbox of a bloody pub? is it a clue from god? is god linked to jim/gabriel somehow? gahd this one is still giving me a headache kinda? wrote about this - here, no tag for this specifically - and im still not fully satisfied that is the meaning of the matchbox but i think (hope) it might be somewhere near the mark?

1650 i speculated (or, well, dreamt up a hc) as to what this potential flashback could entail in a LWA response somewhere - in any case, give me the boys in cromwellian england and give it to me Now

the 25 lazarii miracle my batshit theory (and yet it makes complete sense to me, i stand by it) is in my #25 lazarii theory tag

episode 2:

heaven and hell working together as a single good cop bad cop system this is similarly stagnating in my drafts at the moment!!! but it's a bit of a mindbender for me bc it means i need to pick apart what everything thinks the job/satan bet was actually about... basically, i think it all comes back to understanding god's will - and all of them (yes, even crowley) have it wrong because imo god is completely amoral and is just the strongest advocate for free will... weirdly, i think the person that had the most right of it was gabriel.

"forces them under an awning together" god i hope this happens in s3... i mean there's no way it won't, right? and so many juicy possibilities (for my money itll be the bandstand, but equally would love, like, the stoop of the bookshop, and then have it mirrored again under like the porch of the south downs cottage) 🥺

gabriel's eyes glowing statements this tbh harks back to what i posted under the #25 lazarii theory tag - definitely something weird going on, and i have a gut feeling the boys accidentally made it even worse lmao

tricking heaven with a sleight of hand this is also going to require a bit more thought!!!

episode 3:

aziraphale's chekhov's diaries see im not sure how important i truly think theyre going to be, but if we go by the prominent influence of the crow road, it definitely has to be a s3 plot device, right? the only thing im scared of is that aziraphale's memory gets wiped, or he goes missing, and the books are key to getting back his memory/finding him... hmmm

crowley's consciousness extending into the bentley i think the crank is certainly important, even if just symbolic of his power - uses it to create nebulae, it survived the s1 explosion, etc. i do think bentley has its own kind of personality, but think it's borne out of proximity, use, and influence of her demon owner... obviously i could be entirely wrong, but i kinda hope it's more that he made her, and her allegiance as a sentient being is with him (and of course aziraphale by extension), mainly bc i want something to look after crowley... but then is it more poetic that the bentley is basically just him, and representative of him finding comfort in himself? idk tbh but she's a bad bitch and i love her

general resurrection themes ive talked a fair bit about the second coming aspect, but not about the resurrection and last judgement so much, so this is one for the list

gabriel's glowing eyes statements part 2 as above (and i realise that you might be talking about what he specifically says, not the general thing itself, 🦭 anon, but in a way what is being said is fairly self-explanatory imo, but why is the heftier question)

shax can sense gabriel in a way the archangels couldn't i personally don't think there's much by way of implication in the method in which she senses him (ie... smell? vs michael's weird sixth sense), but i do think there is something about the fact they can sense him at all... talked about in #25 lazarii spec and the #shax meta tag!!!

"it's always too late" oh god 💀 i had the most batshit theory about this that i don't even want to talk about BUT im with you that it's... an odd line. i love that it potentially references line in the book about crowley's watch being set to hell's time, which is set at "too late", but beyond that... not entirely sure why the line was said or said so... blatantly? feels like something obvious would explain it

rumours that aziraphale and crowley were an item that so far don't seem justified based on what hell knew. rumours that apparently had no major consequences for crowley despite one harmless photo warranting a legion to collect him [screams at 1941 truther sign] yeah this is how it read to me too, 🦭! something definitely happened after that dinner, and im not saying a move was made (and potentially witnessed by a couple of errant nazi zombies) but i think a move was made (and witnessed by a couple of errant nazi zombies) - #1941 spec tag

the literal chekhov's gun in the bookshop this one has flummoxed me, but i did read a speculation about continuing the 1941 flashback today, which was utter genius (and so much better than what i managed to dream up in the above tag), and suggested the derringer will make an appearance in a fight-ish scenario in that scene... which is frankly bloody inspired tbh, and im very much convinced by

the miracle blocker oooooh i don't have a dedicated tag for this but i definitely talked about it in a post under the #sanctuary/bentley theory tag!!! i think it was potentially a chekhov's gun that we didn't see get fired

sleight hand to trick hell probably one to look at in hand with the one above about tricking heaven

the zombies just running around london kinda as i said above tbh, not sure what'll happen to them afterwards but presumably a grisly end being eaten and pooped out by a spider

1941 full stop. we have not seen the last of that night. goddamn right we havent [skips around the 1941 truther sign]

episode 5:

the lack of demons available for the attack pretty much what i said above in ep1 about being short staffed bc the Damned population keeps increasing... maybe? still one to look at in more detail though!!!

"i know. do it anyway" "i know. looking at where the furniture isn't" not necessarily in reference to these quotes specifically, but in the general context - discussed this (and potential crowley memory loss) in the #the fall/the great war spec and #book of life theory tags

"if it happens twice it might seem like an institutional problem" oh. OH. THIRD EYE HAS OPENED. because we know two things, right? gabriel didnt fall/wasnt intended to, so the 'happens twice' isn't realised. and heaven does have an institutional problem, practically embodies the term. so if this is foreshadowing. does aziraphale fall. oh no. Oh No (ive sort of discussed this in #scapegoat theory tag but that was strictly pre-eden context...) this however has actually just made me realise that this is a chekhov's gun literally pointed at aziraphale's head... shitshitshitshitshjthka

mrs cheng's weird look across the street see this is on my list but waaaay down it. think she could be a demon. will work on it at some point edit: talked a little bit about this in the #shax meta tag, but possibly needs a dedicated post, idk

nina and maggie's semi immunity to miracles so the bit where aziraphale can't miracle them? that to me is potentially the same explanation as the miracle blocker post (like it all connects). maggie is more immune than normal to the ball miracle? see #we need to talk about maggie theory tag. as for nina... im still not sure on. idk if she's a demon (which for me is a Thought if we consider that hell are short-staffed; she could be one of Many) but it feels a little on the nose... one for the list edit: talked a little bit about nina in the #shax meta tag, but definitely needs a separate post at some point

shax saying the shop isn't an embassy anymore but the demons still unable to get in i didn't think of it from this angle, but i think my theory still stands - under the #sanctuary/bentley theory tag

nina and maggie's immunity to miracles part 2 oh oops - see above

episode 6:

maggie being able to invite the demons into the shop i think she's an angeeeeeeellllll (see #we need to talk about maggie tag)

the speed at which the portal opens and it's potential as a means of spying my latest galaxy brain moment (i hope) - #sanctuary/bentley theory tag

haloes and the potential consequences of blowing them up this one is in the #halo theory tag

crowley opening the files not quite sure what you mean by this one, 🦭!!! do you mean about his rank? definitely tried parsing this particular headscratcher in the #AWCW spec tag

heaven was trying to restart armageddon in a way that seems awfully unofficial oooooohhh.... haven't looked at it this way, but definitely will be!!! might link in with #god is dead theory stuff, but will need more exploring!!!

saraqael having their own agenda honestly saraqael is my newest bad bitch (gn) and if my #saraqael spec is even halfway true, im going to explode i love them

"i'm the only first order archangel in the universe" *camera cuts to crowley* kinda talk about this in the #AWCW spec tag but since neil cremated the lucifer theory (rip) ive kinda left this aspect alone... tbh i don't think he was as important as he's set out to have been

"i'm the only first order archangel in the universe" full stop. statement's plenty suspicious on its own too. this is....... potentially very intriguing

memory wiping as just a thing heaven does when someone disobeys i need to reconcile #book of life theory with this tbh - like, the focus on memory is so strong in s2 that i strongly believe it has connection to falling... at which point, where does gabriel demotion/mem wipe punishment fit in? and where does saraqael fit in, too?

muriel having the same kind of position gabriel was going to be demoted to vaguely looked at this in #book of life theory tag posts i think, especially in reference to how their potential punishments (in muriel's case) mirror each other

heaven and hell are technically at war now. its not like anyone with authority actually called it off danced around this in the #halo theory tag, in reference to aziraphale declaring this new war, and yet they've been at war for a long time? yes the reflection of it being a cold war but still... interesting to think about especially when framed like this

it's possible to remove your essence and store it elsewhere definitely need to explore the possibilities and implications of this at some point, but the suggestion i made in the #25 lazarii theory post somewhat starts to look at this

hell is understaffed as already mentioned above

the shax furfur alliance not quite sure what to think about this, and whether it necessarily means anything more than it's put across (ie just that they are the danger duo of hell in s3?) idk tbh i just need to look at them both as individual characters a bit more first #shax meta tag!!!

the many strange things that could indicate something going on in the last fifteen minutes god.... just anything in the #feral domestic/final fifteen meta tag tbh

"does anyone ever ask for death" idk whether or not to take this as meaning anything deeper than metatron just idly thinking "hmmm aziraphale could refuse my coffee, refuse a chat... at which point ill probably need to destroy him etc. hey, i wonder if anyone - instead of coffee - has ever actually asked for death? funny name for a coffee shop"... and possibly a double meaning meant by Nina saying 'everything else was taken'?

saraqael being the only one other than crowley who recognises the metatron and their reaction well theres my school of thought that saraqael is potentially closer to metatron that we maybe thought (#saraqael spec tag), but then again - and this exact sentence just reminded me - i think in this particular instance, both saraqael and crowley have just come fresh from watching the trial, so that's why they both remember metatron... which begs the question of what happened between the trial and the final fifteen to make them forget? hmmm

almond syrup imo, #omelas theory

the possible miracle chime ehhhh i know i wrote about this but im still like 50/50 on it... but it fits my theory (in the #feral domestic/final fifteen tag) so im rolling with it - i think there might be a chime and i think it might be a failed miracle to change the coffee

the metatron and crowley seeming to have some kind of history lmao anything in #metatron spec or indeed #the fall/the great war spec tags tbh

aziraphale's peculiar mannerisms im getting so lazy with these responses now 🦭 anon im so sorry, but again recently speculated in the #feral domestic/final fifteen meta tag

the way the conversation between aziraphale and the metatron is only reported and very strangely transitioned in and out of as above

the nothing to see here shooting of the kiss this one...

i know ng said it was a continuity error but. the time skip on the clocks ...and this one ive looked at in the #time-stop theory tag, and im the same - not trusting continuity error on this... not just yet

the something's up vibes of metatron. the general scheming and manipulativeness. the framing as the wizard of oz. the colour scheme and the dice on his tie. the sigh of relief in the elevator lol #metatron spec

the credits scene i haven't really gone into this in any detail and tbh idk if it needs it - i think it's pretty reflective of some stuff ive talked about in the #aziraphale meta and the #feral domestic/final fifteen meta tags

plus special mention: not technically in the episode but the distinctly ominous madonna/crucifixion promo photos aaaaaaaand this one is in the #mary/pieta spec tag

again 🦭 anon im really sorry it got a little lazy towards the end!!! but im very, very grateful that you put this all in a list, because ive definitely got some stuff in mind that id like to parse out!!! and as ever - more than happy to scream about things so pop on back if you feel the need to scream with me!!!✨

[koexchange]

I don’t know what I’d request exactly but I would die just to have one (1) date with Elaine but I fear my ADHD cursed ass would have far to much energy for her. (Also as a transmasc creature I’m so happy you write for any gender, I hope your charger never breaks)

a/n: AWWW YOURE SO SWEET i also have adhd and I HOPE YOUR CHARGER NEVER BREAKS EITHERR!! uhh im assuming u wanted adhd and transmasc reader x elaine SO here it is :333 its their first date and they met onnnnntinder

cw: slight mention of binding

word count: 769

(Transmasc!Adhd!)Reader x Elaine!

Wow, this cafe is insanely boring.

Seated across from you, Elaine, your Tinder date, stirs and stares into her black coffee, wondering what convinced her to swipe right on you.

Perhaps it was the corgi in sunglasses you were hugging. Is it your pet?

Or your strange bio? What is 'adhd'?

Or the meticulous placement of your photos? Why was your abnormally large figurine collection before the well-lit selfie?

Or maybe it was just you. All of you.

"Hellooooo?" You wave your hand in front of her face, startling her.

Bless her broken heart, her automatic response is to grab your hand, firmly, and jump back. For protection. So she does.

Your face scares her more than the orphanage. You look like you've just seen a ghost.

Quickly, "Oh- sorry", she apologizes and lets go.

"Don't worry!" You smile warmly at her.

You rather miss the feeling of her gloves on your hands. It is with reluctance that you return your hands to your lap.

Your binder is making you itchy.

"So. How is- I read your..." Your mind is running a marathon a minute as you try to focus on her voice.

"The thing about 'add-huh-duh'?" Wow. She thinks the condition is just one odd word.

"How long have you been learning that language?"

Oh even better. She thinks you're bilingual.

Elaine seems like the type to get offended by laughter, so you try to stifle yours.

"It isn't- Adhd is a disorder I have. Don't worry it isn't contagious." Is your favorite show on tonight?

"Oh. Okay." Elaine is a bit disappointed in herself, she has OCD but knows nothing of other disabilities.

At this point, you believe that any spark between you two has fizzed out for good.

You wonder if faking a family emergency would be too rude.

You could really go for seafood.

In an attempt to speed this up salvage the date, you ask if Elaine has ever heard of your hyperfixation.

When she says that she hasn't, you just can't help the words that fall from your mouth.

You ramble on and on about the media, for what seems like years.

You really can't find the compassion to care about how uninterested she looks.

Maybe because you're too concentrated on how beautiful she looks.

Or, maybe it's because her face hasn't changed since she sat down. Talk about are-bee-eff.

As you finish droning on, Elaine finishes her coffee. Her mouth is moving, but you can't quite pick up her words. A small part of you, in the back of your mind, wonders what she would taste li-

"Like or hate it, the Shadow Decree knows what it wants." Her lithe hand moves her hair out of her eyes.

Oh. When did this conversation start?

She's staring right at you. Straight-faced. Expecting a response.

You've never felt so lost.

Other than twenty minutes ago. The time you were literally lost. Who puts a cafe next to a gym?

"Yeah uh. They have goals! For sure!" You shout, way too excitedly to be talking about a crime organization. The smile you forced onto your mouth hurts.

You wonder what hers would feel like.

It's nearly inaudible, her sigh.

Did you do something wrong?

"If I called you later, would you answer the phone?" She asks without shame, standing up.

Guess not.

"Oh! I thought you hated me...?" You don't hide your laugh as you struggle to grab your things.

Elaine laughs with you. You stand with Elaine.

And hallelujah, she can smile. You drink up her expression, and it's better than your tea was.

"I apologize if I came off that way. I am very interested in you." She saunters over to the exit, with you close behind. Looking like an obedient dog.

"Oh!" You truly look like an idiot with your mouth agape in shock. It snaps shut with a click, taking way longer than it should.

"Of course I would! I'd have to be out of mind not to!"

Elaine's expression softens, marginally.

Elaine finds your expressions cute.

She would never say that out loud though.

The faint blush rising on her cheeks might give you a little hint.

Crazy how fast you went from debating running out of the shop to asking her to stay longer.

Once you get yourself together, she wraps her arm around yours and steps outside with you. You lean in close to her.

You get a glimpse of her teeth this time, her grin feels comfortable on her face. Real. "Want to show me around?"

She read your mind.

You've never been so centered on someone before.

a/n: HOWD I WRITE SEVEN HUFNRE WORDS IN ONE SITTING uhh im so sorry if this isnt what you wanted anon im a little dumb but uhhhhh i hope you enjoyed! thanks for reading! <3333

[moomoorare]

Also i think I'm still absorbing the bad news

vent under read more. Don't read if you're triggered by cancer

we got the news that my grandma has the bad type of cancer but it's a early stage so we have hope. What worries me is that her and my mother are the absolute worst together. They enable each other in the worst ways, especially my mother has been such an asshole lately, been doing some really disgusting things. And my grandma defends her all the time. They gaslight each other into believes lies they make up and already my mother is thinking the worst of the worst. I mean. I guess sign she had cancer I'd be worried but positive. I wouldn't be like... Well how she is. God I hate her. She plays nice bc she sees me once a month. God. I cannot even. God. I don't even want to think about her. I'm just worried about my grandma. But it's like. You see I get the things I have from them. Bipolar. Social and general anxiety. Ocd. Proable Autism. ADHD. So imagine the fucking clash when three different type of personalities interact. My grandma is constantly a pessimist kinda depressed style, my mother fluctuates so fast you get nausea, usually it's always everybody's fault and is so fucking aggressive. I'm the one that's chill, too much for my own good, but I'm the analytical one. And Im hopeful and cheery all the time, I mean better since I left home bc i was a mess. And its a struggle reasoning with them. Like I kid you not, they're so fucking dumb. Like not even being mean. Literally like a rock, cannot move their train of thought. ANYWAYS

I surely have the feeling of doom hovering over my head, especially since my family members are like oh Chiara do you know have you heard yYe s I did what do you think?? I talk with my siblings. But the weight still hasn't hit me yet, and I won't let it. But it's gonna dawn on me soon and it's gonna feel heavy. Still. I do not want to go back the way I felt . So I'll keep looking forward. U know that meme of "it is what it is". It's my mind. If a thing is unchangeable, or I can't do anything about it, there's no need for me to torture myself about it. Acknowledge it. But don't let it being me down. Because I've been in a very bad place. And I know how hard it is to come out of it. And I don't want to fall back down again.