#read: october 2023
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what i read this month - oct. '23
❀ = nsfw/mature content, minors dni
reminder to read the warnings before a fic & to support writers & reblog :)
organized alphabetically by fandom, then by pairing, then by author
harry potter
— ron weasley —
the yule ball - @marvelslut16
type: oneshot, genre: angst, fluff summary: you wanted ron to ask to the yule ball but you get asked by someone else. jealous!ron ensues. commentary: the perfect mixture of jealousy and playfulness and love confession and cuteness all in one 😍
marvel
— peter parker —
peter p. blurb - @webslingingslasher
type: blurb, genre: hurt comfort summary: peter helps you grieve the loss of a loved one commentary: so sad yet so sweet 😭
peter p. blurb - @webslingingslasher
type: blurb, genre: fluff summary: you find out peter's hair is curly commentary: this was so cute like i need to read more of your stuff because i LOVED the two things i read this month
stranger things
— eddie munson —
no more tears - @aphrogeneias
type: oneshot, halloween, genre: fluff, hurt comfort summary: it’s halloween night, 1986. you want to celebrate your favorite holiday after the year you and your friends just had, but after being dumped by your, now ex, boyfriend a week before puts a damp on your plans. eddie munson, however, has a different plan for you commentary: i loved the dynamic between eddie and the reader in this one sooo much! and the payback andrew got was 🤌🏼
eddie m. blurb - @eiightysixbaby
type: blurb, friends to lovers, genre: fluff summary: play wrestling with eddie turns into more commentary: absolutely so frickin adorable 🤍
❀ what about you sweetheart? are you scared? - @lilacletter
type: oneshot, halloween, genre: fluff, smut summary: when your plans fall through with the younger kids, steve gets a brilliant idea. that you and the rest of the gang should go explore the old creel house. reluctantly, you all agree, having nothing better to do. eddie is quick to sneak away with you once you’re there, determined to find out how scared you really are. commentary: story - 10/10, smut - 10/10, and the ending is hilarious! if you love soft sweet eddie but also hot sexy eddie, this is the fic for you (update: op, unfortunately, deactivated so i can't link it, but believe me when i say this was a phenomenal fic)
i wanna be more part 1 & part 2 - @maxxxineminxxx
type: twoshot, genre: fluff, angst summary: y/n tells eddie she wants to join the cheer squad he has a bad reaction at first but then he calms down. y/n thinks everything is fine until she sees her replacement standing at eddies locker. they look close? & y/n attends the party she was unsure about going to, only to find out that eddie's there as well with his "girl?'' eddie is still ignoring y/n and she is determined to find out why. commentary: my heart was broken but then it was mended with part two ❤️🩹 love love love this!!!
— jonathan byers —
hurtless - @stveharringtn
type: also steve harrington x reader, oneshot, cheating (of the emotional variety, not physical), genre: angst, hurt comfort summary: after having an argument with jonathan about how he depends on nancy far more than he does on you, steve finds you once he's heard about your fight commentary: hurt my heart for the reader but it was so good
— steve harrington —
steve h. oneshot - @katsu28
type: oneshot, genre: fluff, angst summary: based on these prompts: "you called me your friend." "was i not supposed to say that?" "you really think i'm just your friend? after these last few weeks?" commentary: so well written and so easy to feel what the reader was going through and connect with her! 100000000/10 <3
steve h. oneshot - @lovebugism
type: oneshot, genre: fluff, hurt comfort summary: steve comforts you after a no good, really bad day commentary: steve is a sweetie pie and is the best protector/comforter in the world
steve h. blurb - @luveline
type: blurb, genre: fluff summary: you're used to doing all the chores and things since that's how it has been for you in past relationships. however, you come home to steve doing some of those chores and freak out about it commentary: another one for sweetie pie stevie 🥺🥰
hurtless - @stveharringtn
type: also jonathan byers x reader, oneshot, cheating (of the emotional variety, not physical), genre: angst, hurt comfort summary: after having an argument with jonathan about how he depends on nancy far more than he does on you, steve finds you once he's heard about your fight commentary: hurt my heart for the reader but it was so good
nail to the coffin - @thetargaryenbride
type: series, byers!reader au, genre: fluff, angst summary: y/n byers wondered what would end up being the death of the small town she lived in. she never expected that the last nail on the coffin would be hammered by monsters from another dimension who would end up hunting down her friends and family one by one… commentary: i finished season one, two, three, and i think i've got a couple chapters left in season four and i absolutely LOVE THIS!! the way the storyline is altered is so good and still fits the stranger things vibe
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27.10.23, friday
things done today:
3h of stupid stuff I’ve been putting off this whole week
a walk ft. the grocery store, plus also another walk bc I was procrastinating on the stupid stuff
#the stupid stuff is still not done and I’m planning on that ’’gonna wake up early tmrw to get it done’’ which is#when u know u’ve already lost#bookblr#studyblr#booklr#aesthetic#books#study#reading#book#studyspo#read#dark academia#october 2023#2023
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games i liked in 2023 (And Other)
I like games ! You know that ?! and I played a lot 2023! and I liked a lot :). They aren't in any specific order, it's just a little highlight of games that stood out to me this year. I've attempted to write a few thoughts on each so I hope take a look. I wrote playtimes for some also but that is very subjective.
-Ones that actually came out 2023-
Lunacid https://store.steampowered.com/app/1745510/Lunacid/ I think I mentioned enjoying this in 2022 but it officially released so I can say it was one of my favorite games in 2023 :3! I like to feel around this game's walls for secrets. I like the npcs that are full of hope and whimsy despite the bleakness of its world. Chill and occasionally spooky first person dungeon crawling around moody caverns and ruins varying from underground forests to vampire castles and blood lake. (Blood lake!!!! Lake of blood!!! Big creature there.) Lots of fun weapons and spells to find, I like the one that lets you turn blood into coffins.
~20 hours
Orbo's Odyssey https://feverdreamjohnny.itch.io/orbos-odyssey If you played the massively popular demo for "Peeb Adventures" by feverdreamjohnny then you know that Johnny makes some fun and funny games and this is certainly one of them. speedy and satisfying platforming! funny dracula moments! short and sweet.
~2 hours
A Walk in the Woods https://mooncaller.itch.io/a-walk-in-the-woods Quaint little GBStudio game :) Made by some friends of mine for a jam :) It's cute I like it. There's minigames where you catch bugs and birdwatch.
~30 minutes long
Undertale Yellow https://gamejolt.com/games/UndertaleYellow/136925 I've only completed the pacifist run and checked out a neutral run so far. as the title somewhat implies, this is a prequel to Undertale where you play as the fallen human who had the yellow colored soul. This Undertale fangame has a lot of charm!!! A lot of battles really feel like they could have been in the original, with quite a bit of extra flair in some circumstances.
~10 hours
vs really cool bird https://bobacupcake.itch.io/vs-really-cool-bird you know that really cool bird that rob bobacupcake made well you can fight it in undertale and it's really fun. yeah two undertale fangames. . . wat of it …
~30 minutes
Misericorde: Volume One https://xeecee.itch.io/misericorde I wont lie the main draw for me into this was cute anime nuns I sure didn't know a whole lot else about it when I dug into it. But it's (the first part of) a VN murder mystery! And I enjoyed it a whole lot. All the characters are memorable and I really enjoy how all of them have differentiating designs. The protagonist is so failgirl. She sucks so much and I love her. I'm very intrigued by the mechanics of the game's world, it clues you in near the beginning to expect something a bit supernatural/fantastical, which gives you (and later the protagonist) a curiosity about what's real and what isn't. The music is all very impressive too, with the ost reaching past 100 tracks varying through post-rock, folk, drum & bass, and others. (Remembering when the track "Scandal" played and my friends and I took a moment to be like- okay hang on this track pwns.) Big fan of its haunting locals and how the aesthetic of the game fits them well. Also the humor is a lot of fun, and I love all the moments getting to know the different characters. Very excited to see the eventual continuation of this.
~12 hours
Absolutely Perfect Specimen https://chambersoft.itch.io/absolutely-perfect-specimen It seems like a lot of people are craving toxic horror yuri lately. Here's a recommendation. It's a VN about the android maid "Pan" and the mad scientist girl who created her. Horrifying & gut wrenching & largely about having other people define you. The art and music is haunting & poignant and matches the ever increasing feeling of dread throughout. It's yuri with the chunks. Peak robotgirl horror for those who can stomach it.
~90 minutes
Wordhopper https://kokoscript.itch.io/wordhopper Very quaint word search type puzzle game for ms dos! I think its style is very slick and that's pretty impressive to see. Chill game with nice vibes and eyecandy visuals. also it was so cool to have played this and then ended up seeing the dev's booth at Vintage Computer Festival Midwest. I was like omg woah I just played this.
~bunny
Bossgame https://lilyv.itch.io/bossgame This game is yuriful as f*ck. Delightful humor and fun character dynamics! A simple-to-understand-difficult-to-master boss rush battle system that makes you satisfied to get it right, and enticing to get just a little farther if you get it wrong. There's a lot of detail and charm to this game's menus and dialogues and win screens, I remember noticing that once you beat a boss there would be some marquee text that would pass by with some prose on it. I love how it balances its silly moments with its heartfelt moments and its high octane moments. I like the character development and revelations had throughout the plot. & I like how good the protagonists are for each other :) It's very sweet. It's hype as hell. if you want some boss rush action paired well with that sweet sweet girl's love, you *will* play this game.
~5 hours
Elly's Adventure https://bikwins.itch.io/ellys-adventure Very cute and witchy!! You are the little witch girl "Elly" on an adventure to get your toys back!! Feels like a pretty authentic gameboy type experience, it takes a lot of design cues from Kirby's adventure and the like. I am a big fan of how playful it feels.
~1 hour
Nour https://store.steampowered.com/app/1141050/Nour_Play_with_Your_Food/ This was a treat for me, but I understand that not everybody is going to get it. It's a game where you play with food(and food accessories). And that's it. It knows what it was going for. I think a lot of people were expecting something else for some reason. It's a cute little toy game and I felt satisfied with my time with it.
~food
Hi-Fi Rush https://store.steampowered.com/app/1817230/HiFi_RUSH/ Do I have to say this game is super fun? It's a big one everybody probably already knows it. This game's dopey humor made me laugh a lot and I'm not afraid to admit it.
~12 hours
WHISKEY.ST2007S https://bonicle.itch.io/whiskey-st2007nes One of the last games I played in the year because it released super last minute. Does anybody else get a rush when running a shopping cart down the parking lot? This emulates that feeling. Short game where you collect whisky stones in the whisky stone dimension because you forgot to go christmas shopping until the very last minute. it rules. It's very short you can go play it right now & get a highscore.
~5 minutes
re:curse https://devpalmer.itch.io/re-curse Discovered this one near the very end of the year also. Fun little rpg maker horror/humor game about a weird scientist lady, her butch, and an evil clown computer virus that figured out how to warp reality. I got a kick out of it. and also enjoyed digging through the game's files, which was actively encouraged by the dev, which I thought was very fun.
~90 minutes
-Didn't technically get to until 2024 but released last year-
SWOLLEN TO BURSTING UNTIL I AM DISAPPEARING ON PURPOSE https://1207.itch.io/swollen-to-bursting-until-i-am-disappearing-on-purpose People love to dunk on a lot of indie rpgs for being "quirky Earthbound inspired and about depression" or whatever. Earthbound's great. If people can nail the kind of humor and absurdity it likes to pull off while also balancing difficult topics I think that deserves a high mark. SWOLLEN TO BURSTING was fun. Bizarre and charming places to explore & distressing secrets to find. I like how it blends meander-around-the-town gameplay with Yume Nikki sort of exploration and effects. Also I'm a big fan of the music. I like how it has the lofi sound which matches the early 3d look of the game.
~6 hours
HalOPE https://starbage.itch.io/halope Another for the fans of sweet little rpg maker games that have a lot of heart. HalOPE is about an incomplete little angel wondering through worlds. Each has a theme, usually to do with an emotion or feeling, and they do well at evoking that feeling as well as its antithesis. a lot of the music is very homey and charming at moments and unnerving at others, sometimes lonely, all doing well in their corresponding chapters to further the feeling of its specified theme. There are so many delightful characters and designs in this & I found myself feeling really attached to their tiny little stories. The narrative at the core of it all hit me. If I may be vulnerable, I cried a whole lot at various moments in this game. It was really cathartic. I feel very excited for people to experience this game.
~5 hours
-Favs I finally got around to that didn't come out 2023-
An Outcry https://quinnk.itch.io/an-outcry Kind of sad it took me so long to get to this one, but glad it meant I got to play the "definitive" updated version of it. Apartment wandering RPG maker horror. Bum smokes from your neighbors and use them to save the game. I wish I could unwrap a lot more of what I like about this game than I can without spoiling too much. But if I could, I'd probably go on for too long. Let me attempt to be succinct & not giving too much away. You can tell pretty early on that An Outcry is about taking action when necessary & not turning a blind eye. What it explores about player vs protagonist agency is very fascinating to me as well, and I enjoyed learning about the inspirations for why the game's narrative works the way it does. The character Anne is such a sweetie and I love her a whole lot. This game has a very tangible feeling, this apartment complex is dirty and crumby, it smells of smoke, and there's a surrounding desperation you can feel.
~5 hours
Pigments https://punkcake.itch.io/pigments Honestly I had gotten this game in a bundle and while I was playing it I hadn't looked at the name and I just kept calling it FRUIT. On call with my friends I'd be like "hey im gonna play more FRUIT". I straight up didn't read the title screen. But it's called Pigments. You play as a fruit and you try to paint the whole floor and not get sliced by buzzsaws. Fun little arcade type game.
~fruit
Bridge, October 3rd https://lowpolis.itch.io/bridge-october-3rd Very short vignette. I like it. It's what it says it is. I'm not going to overexplain.
~like a minute
-Other Games I Want To Mention-
Pseudoregalia https://store.steampowered.com/app/2365810/Pseudoregalia/ I think a lot of people might have already known this one but I felt like it was a pretty fun 3d platformer. There were a few issues I had with it (boss fight at the beginning was frustrating, and I got lost a lot [but it looks like there's been a map patch by now, so, perhaps for some that is a fix]). I enjoyed it but sure felt weird that the only accessibility option was to give the protagonist pants. What kind of joke is that?
~5 hours
Mushroom Musume https://mortallymoonstruckgames.itch.io/mushroom-musume (Disclaimer, this game is still early access, but I saw a lot of people talking about it last year. SO I will mention here?) Haven't played much of this yet, but I have enjoyed what I played so far!! As of writing I've gone through 6 playthroughs, I feel like I've hardly scratched the surface and I've been so impressed by its depth. It's very charming, you never know what sorts of fairytale shenanigans are going to happen, and it's very cool to see how your different stats will affect things. It very much plays out like a roguelike vn. Which is not the sort of thing you may expect to make much sense but it pulls this off well. Also all the mushroom girls are very cute and I love them very much. I hope the sad goopy one who had bugs in her skin rests in peace.
~mushroom
Knuckle Sandwich https://andybrophy.itch.io/knuckle-sandwich -_- Hm. Where do I start with this one. I was pretty excited for this one since the demo and kickstarter in 2018. I felt like the demo was a hell of a hook that got me curious & horrified. As time went on, it seemed to be shaping up into something really cool. turn based combat with action commands and wario-ware-type microgames?? with a banging soundtrack?? like, count me in!! Then it released and well, the gameplay, art, music all delivered. It was very fun and engaging in those aspects. But the story… oh it just devolves into disappointing nonsensical randomness. The whole hook at the beginning seemed to be completely thrown away for the wild goose chase plot that ensues, leaving you to wonder if it was ever going to be relevant again. It felt like it had no idea what it was trying to say or do. It disappointed me that a game that has so much good in so much else about it gets brought down so much for me by this plot.
~12 hours
Rhythm Doctor https://store.steampowered.com/app/774181/Rhythm_Doctor/ (Putting this one in mentions because it is early access.) I really enjoyed the act 5 release. When I first saw this game, I kind of shrugged it off, thinking "that base mechanic doesn't seem like it will last". I thought it was basically just that one ghost shooting game from Rhythm Heaven which I Hate. Well let's just say I am now seeking penitence for my previous transgressions. It's really fun. There's a lot more to it that I didn't know when I first took a look. Also, consistently amazed by people's custom levels, I had no idea that its level editor allows people to do so much in it, I look at some levels and think "This editor seems as complex as an industry standard video editor". I'm looking forward to what they're planning next, very curious how they could possibly one-up the last update.
~rhythm
El Paso Elsewhere https://strangescaffold.itch.io/el-paso-elsewhere This was really fun & funny so far but unfortunately I had been encountering an issue with a certain level where the game would crash. I reported the issue, got a response, and there has been an update since then so I think there's a possibility that it got fixed but I have not tried yet. I would like to return to this sometime but having to relearn controls midway through is always daunting to me.
~?
-Things that looked good but didn't get around to-
Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood https://store.steampowered.com/app/1340480/The_Cosmic_Wheel_Sisterhood/ Still don't know a whole lot about this. But there are witches, and I like witches.
Casette Beasts https://store.steampowered.com/app/1321440/Cassette_Beasts/ I haven't felt thrilled about Pokémon lately. I know a lot of people seemed to really enjoy this little monster-collecting-rpg. The style is appealing to me as a die-hard gen 5 fan. I started playing it but haven't set aside the dedicated time for it yet, but I'm excited to dig in more when I do.
Little Goody Two Shoes https://store.steampowered.com/app/1812370/Little_Goody_Two_Shoes/ Started watching a friend play this, and I'm certainly curious.. Some sort of horror fairytale but also there's yuri? Yum. Enjoyed the style and animation in the nightmare segments that I saw.
Venba https://store.steampowered.com/app/1491670/Venba/ I've picked this up a while ago but still haven't gotten around to it, but I'm eager to, I've heard nothing but good things.
Goodbye Volcano High https://store.steampowered.com/app/1310330/Goodbye_Volcano_High/ I think there are gay dinosaurs in a band and it's going to be the apocalypse? I have also heard nothing but good things about this.
-Things I watched friends play-
Signalis https://store.steampowered.com/app/1262350/SIGNALIS/ This was a pretty big one. You probably already know it, right? Watched a friend play this and I missed various parts but I understood a solid bit of it. hey. robotgirls are always getting put in these fucked up situations. have you noticed this? one time i got really high and cried about it. it isn't fair
Bomb Rush Cyberfunk https://store.steampowered.com/app/1353230/Bomb_Rush_Cyberfunk/ This one was also probably big enough you don't need me to sing its praises. but it looked really neat. swag.
-Various Thoughts-
Lately I've been thinking more about design and narrative. I feel like I haven't been doing as much analysis as I should be when it comes to games. I want to dissect more what games are saying and figure out meaning. Also attempt to see how the mechanics aid in that. I feel like most of my own work is pretty abstract & random. I simply make what I like. While that's fun and all, I still want to improve in a lot of ways, especially in having more of a theme or message. Figuring out how other games accomplish this is obviously a good step toward this.
If you saw games here that interest you I highly urge you to take a look, many are pretty short, and I pretty explicitly wanted to highlight some smaller titles. If you know me you know I like to uplift small games. (Save for the occasional big game, but that's rare these days) I think it's healthy for you to play and support independently developed & published works. I don't want to ramble too much this time about why that's important, but I hope that you might have found something you may enjoy here and if not then I encourage you to find small stuff that you would like. And I would like to encourage everybody to share their findings as well! Little games need our help to be seen and talked about! They don't have the budgets the big ones do for advertising, and advertising on your own is a whole ton of work. If you like something, spread the word! I'm sure the developers would very much appreciate that.
#indie games#video games#game review#ramble#GOTY 2023#idk what to tag these as#gonna tag with all the games so i guess?#don't read the rest of the tags if you want to read through the post first lol#lunacid#orbo's odyssey#a walk in the woods#undertale yellow#vs really cool bird#misericorde#absolutely perfect specimen#wordhopper#bossgame#elly's adventure#nour#hi fi rush#WHISKEY.ST2007S#re:curse#SWOLLEN TO BURSTING UNTIL I AM DISAPPEARING ON PURPOSE#HalOPE#an outcry#pigments#Bridge October 3rd#pseudoregalia#mushroom musume#knuckle sandwich
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“average person misses three signs their crush likes them back (or even signs that they do, in fact, have a crush) a day” factoid is actually just a statistical error. autism georg, also known as wulfert glenn,
#a day of fallen night#adofn#wulfert glenn#the roots of chaos#roc#roots of chaos#elli rambles#r#FOUND IT#this has been in my drafts since uh october 2023#no clue why I never posted it#edit: wait for context I am autistic. I’m not using it as an insult here I just like to read wulf’s obliviousness as him having difficulty#with reading people bc of autism lol#& the ‘obliviousness’ regarding his own feelings as emotional blindness
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Cellbit: You think the Cucurucho that likes you is the like, cheerleader one or is it the gun one?
Jaiden: Um, I- I'll be honest, I think both of them like me.
Cellbit: Wow, ok.
Jaiden: What can I say, I'm just super friendly.
Cellbit: Yeah...
Jaiden: [Laughs]
Cellbit: You know, Cucurucho liking you isn't that much of like, a good thing, ok? Just don't- don't get like, super–
Jaiden: No, I mean like, I'm not- I'm not saying that, you know, I like him back or anything, I'm just saying that they- they have a soft-spot for me. Whatever that means.
[ Full Transcript ↓ ]
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Cellbit: How is your relation with Cucurucho going? Like, have you seen him recently?
Jaiden: Uhhh, what do you mean?
Cellbit: 'Cuz you have like, a rocky relationship with him, don't you?
Jaiden: Yeah, yeah, yeah, last- last time we- I– he took me away for a bit, but uh... It's been, you know, normal. I feel like he treats me the same as he does everyone else. Yeah, he gave me a task.
Cellbit: What's your task?
Jaiden: To research rhinos.
Cellbit: Oh, yeah, you told me about that! [...] You think the Cucurucho that likes you is the like, cheerleader one or is it the gun one?
Jaiden: Um, I- I'll be honest, I think both of them like me.
Cellbit: Wow, ok.
Jaiden: What can I say, I'm just super friendly.
Cellbit: Yeah...
Jaiden: [Laughs]
Cellbit: You know, Cucurucho liking you isn't that much of like, a good thing, ok? Just don't- don't get like, super–
Jaiden: No, I mean like, I'm not- I'm not saying that, you know, I like him back or anything, I'm just saying that they- they have a soft-spot for me. Whatever that means.
Cellbit: Yeah, when– like, if you ever see them with a chainsaw, you know, you probably want to go to the other direction, that's just like, an experienced hint I can give you.
Jaiden: Yeah, yeah, yeah...
Cellbit: But I don't think they would do that to you, they seem to have like, their own preferences and stuff.
Jaiden: Yeah, I mean, they've only done that to you, so they must– they just really don't like you.
Cellbit: Yeah, but they kinda like did some shtty things to other people, they shot Bagi, they shot- they shot most of the Island, at this point.
Jaiden: Yeah, they did, they did shoot Bagi. That's- that's not good.
Cellbit: Maybe they just like Hatsune Miku, and they- they confused stuff.
Jaiden: That is true! Actually, they're– I don't even know if this is like, who this is in the Federation, but someone um... Mouse was like, showing me a picture of– Sorry, I have to tab in. [She punches Cellbit] Um... [Laughs]
Cellbit: Ow, that was rude! [Chuckles]
Jaiden: I had to tab in! [Laughs] My Animal Crossing music had to restart!
Cellbit: [Laughs]
Jaiden: Mouse was saying that someone in the Federation uh, was placing tiny Hatsune Mikus in there, so someone in the Federation likes Hatsune Miku.
Cellbit: Hmm... That explains a lot, then.
Jaiden: [Laughs] What do you mean? No it doesn't!
Cellbit: No, no. Now I understand that it's a whole– it's a whole scheme, it's a whole corruption scheme, now I understand.
Jaiden: Ah no, it's not corruption–
#Jaiden Animations#Cellbit#QSMP#Cucurucho#(Mentioned)#Jaiden#October 7 2023#Cucurucho / Osito did care about her in a weird way#Probably because at some point in the past she (apparently) helped them#But I think a lot of people underestimate how much Jaiden realizes what's going on re: Cucurucho isn't a GREAT guy#Like to a certain extent yeah she's more on the side of wanting to believe in Cucurucho (again: to some extent)#And I specifically say Cucurucho here; not the Federation; because those are two separate things to her#However she's still very much aware of the bad stuff#I always loved seeing Cellbit and Jaiden talk about Cucurucho because their contrasting perspectives were always so interesting#Jaiden trying to read Cucurucho's actions with good intent (once again: to some extent) and trying to see him in a positive light#vs. Cellbit reading Cucurucho's actions with ill intent – both as an entity and as a representation of the Federation and all it stands for#(VERY understandably)#anyways I just think it's neat!#Good conversation
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I don't know how to tell you that you should care about other people.
I keep reflecting to determine if there's something more within me that's causing me to still feel so incredibly sick by it all. Really trying to expose the raw roots of the feeling to see if it stems from some kind of selfishness. And I suppose it does. But to reduce it to just that would also be lying, because it's a combination of poisons down in that soil. It's betrayal and a feeling of isolation amongst a group I thought I once knew, and then that selfish and bitter root grows in like a weed. I can only quietly observe to myself: "ah. this is where the radicalization and rampant nationalism come from. this is why I see it flowering in my family."
It's because I feel my trust breaking all over again each time I forget about it and try to go on with my business. I remember that I still can't mourn publicly without someone educating me on why obviously if I'm mourning, I must have Insert Political Alignment Here. I remember the utter silence and the downright celebration of more civilian deaths because "oh, fuckin Yaya or whatever deserved it after what Israel does."
For the record, Yaya-Or-Whatever didn't deserve it, and I still remember the lead dropping into my stomach upon hearing that from a friend. No one deserves it. No one ever deserves it.
I don't know how to tell you that you should care about other people.
Maybe that's a quote leftists recognize, but I realize now that few of them actually stick to it across the board. And I'm admittedly selfish, because I hoped that leftists could at least have a moment to care about my people suffering too before getting back to helping the people who currently need the most help. But instead we got "Yaya-Or-Whatever Deserved It." And I've been laying here for months watching everyone on the left just go back to the usual armchair activism as if they didn't just fucking say that, and when I do bring it up, suddenly I'm the problem for pointing out that it was fucked up.
You won't erase it, fyi. We saw you say it. Some of you said it with your full fucking chest. You were callous and let the antisemites into the bar by openly celebrating Jewish death. Then you pretended we were talking about Palestine when we pointed out your antisemitic actions. You know that's not what we were even pointing to as an example. But it's very convenient for you to pretend we don't know the difference, isn't it?
I don't know. It's just a reminder that most of you are actually all talk and virtue signals. There's no actual substance behind your ideals, you're just adhering to the party line, same as conservatives do. I guess I was naive to think otherwise. It's disingenuous for you to wonder why people leave the leftist movement as a whole and "suddenly" flip sides. You know why, and it's reasons like this - you're just covering it up and pretending it's a totally different, more convenient reason.
Tldr; you're hypocrite ass leftists and fuck you. You should be ashamed of how you acted.
#antisemitism#october 7 2023#israel#mandatory disclaimer on the Cant Read Website that:#1) i dont condone israel's harsh response but also why the fuck do i have to even say this#2) actually you know what fuck this im tired of talking to you and justifying why i should be allowed to also exist#making me jump through hoops like your jewish street monkey#stop fucking excusing the death of civilians#civilian death is civilian death. full fucking stop.#neither Yaya-Or-Whatever or Muhammad-Or-Whatever deserve that.#you fucking lunatics.#things' stuff#basically a journal entry
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“It began as all things did: a girl on the shore, terrified and desirous.”
#books#October reads#ava reid#a study in drowning#2023 favorites#academia + fairytales + crumbling seaside manor
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He kissed her, hilariously
.....
Hey
Hey author from 1918
What the fuck does this mean???
#these book club books are wild#its called the magnificent ambersons#and at this point i am certain that its a sarcastic title#the idioms and slang phrases are so convoluted they put touch grass to shame#do i need a new tag for my opinion on these books i would certainly not read on my own?#book clubs nonsense books#october 2023
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what’s in my bag bc i love seeing these
#plus also keys that I didn’t put there#studyblr#bookblr#booklr#aesthetic#books#study#reading#read#book#studyspo#dark academia#october 2023#2023
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BAWKtober Day 26 - Tarot Reading
Augury
Bonus:
#pls look up augury it is literally bird fortune telling and i love it#and ornithomancy#BAWKtober 2023#BAWKtober#tarot reading#makenna made a thing#chickens#tiny fluffy dinosaurs#the BEST animals#chickenblr#birdblr#artists on tumblr#birds#october art challenge#halloween#fall#autumn#art prompts#artblr#spooky season#art#i am so behind but i keep having more elaborate ideas#i WILL finish even if not by halloween don't worry#now i'm tempted to do the entire major arcana#someone stop me i don't need more to do#yes i drew the lesbiHENs being lesbiHENs again i have a problem
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Bryant Park, New York City, on a mild autumn afternoon, October 2023.
#nyc#autumn colors#autumn#original photography#bryant park#new york#autumn aesthetic#new york city#hipster#travel#aesthetic#wanderlust#photographers on tumblr#goth#fall colors#october#october 2023#city#fountain#reading#reading outside
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🎃 October 2023 Wrap Up! 🎃
I read a total of 28 books
11 were physical books from my physical TBR.
Most were audiobooks from the library!
Favourite read: Time to Shine by Rachel Reid
Least favourite: Theodore Boon: Kid Lawyer by John Grisham
I DNFed 18 books
How was your October reading?
#books#booklr#bookish#features#bookworm#bookaholic#book blogger#book blog#book wrap up#October 2023#bookstack#bookish stack#books and reading#books books books#book photography#readers of tumblr#book addict#my photography#reading update
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Books of 2023: IMPERIAL RADCH by Ann Leckie.
Up next! This came highly recommended by many friends (and also the internet at large when I asked for SFF revenge recs, so thanks!), and I have Tracked Down The Original Covers, so I'm ready to go.
#books#books of 2023#ann leckie#ancillary justice#ancillary sword#ancillary mercy#book photography#my photography#the first book was used and it has a signed bookplate AND it's a first edition!!!#what a find!!!#thanks HPB lol i appreciate u#....full disclosure this is another series i didn't pick up because i didn't love the covers lol#(but i dislike these covers less than the new covers......)#fortunately: the last thing i had this experience with was Murderbot and we all know how well that turned out XD#i'm also excited for POV fuckery i love fun POVs#imperial radch#did i accidentally add a trilogy and a duology (vicious) to my pre-NaNo TBR though?? yes. yes i did.#it's fine it's not even october lmao#i can read six books + one book in a month and a week right???
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drdttober day twelve - traditional clothing
#drdt#danganronpa despair time#drdttober#drdttober2023#drdttober 2023#hu jing#i passed out for 6 hours this evening are you proud everyone#11:50 BABEY#i did my best to see if this was culturally appropriate (in the like 20 min i had to check) so i THINK this is ok but i’m not chinese#so like. LMK IF IM VIOLATING ANYTHING!! Pls#other than that#i apologize for the lower quality in these past few days! iva had a lot more overtime and was also sick for a while so my sleep schedule#is. fine#(lie)#it’ll hopefully get better soon sorry again#i’m planning on doing a drdt general post towards after october ends as like a review thing#i’ll probably include like my favorite piece that i made#least favorite#ect#i’ll explain more there! thank you for reading these tags#often times i want to talk in the original posts too. but like. i’m keeping up the#format so..
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Pick an image: allow your intuition to guide you in your selection.
🕷️| IMAGE #1
Overall Message: “You are already doing it. Keep facing your true north.”
BEG: You may come to separate yourself from something that feels good. It’s a great time to explore if that something is actually beneficial to your health or not. Exploring ways to honor and truly appreciate you are welcomed at this time.
MID: You may be in a position to “call the shots” or make some decisions. This is a time to voice what you want AND how you want it. However, be strategic. Who are you talking to? Does the situation call for you to be more cutesy, playful, professional, or direct?
END: Expect to receive. This can be a gift, some appreciation, or something you’ve been working towards. The long night is over- whatever it is, there is happiness and hope coming along with it.
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🦇| IMAGE #2
Overall Message: “Answer the call. What is your soul calling you to do?”
BEG: You may be in a phase of coming out of your shell. I see someone who has been reserved, shy, or self focused, beginning to be more “spicy” or confident. Some would say the phrase, “getting their groove back.” I see an introvert being more extroverted. You may be dating or getting attention from admirers at this time.
MID: You may be meeting someone new or spending time with someone in particular. Whoever this person is, the feelings are mutual. You may see things moving quickly or doing some traveling together. This person may be someone who balances you out like Fire and Water. Despite all the excitement, it’s important to maintain your boundaries at this time- it may be easy to get swept up in a situation or to go along with whatever this person wants.
END: It is possible that you or someone you have been interacting with is hiding their true feelings. The communication may become more distant. It seems like an attempt to protect their heart or to not appear a certain way. This situation calls for you to be patient with yourself and/or them. It is important at this time to not overthink or make assumptions without talking to them first.
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👻| IMAGE #3
Overall Message: “Trust your path. If you knew you would be supported, what would you do?”
BEG: Expect to do some planning regarding some sort of project or journey. (Please note that I am using the term journey with the possibility of it relating to an inner journey of processing or development. Only you know what it means to you- take what resonates, leave what doesn’t .) You may be called to “work around” or change some things about your plans. Organizational tools will be helpful at this time.
MID: I see you focused on the same project or journey but so much so that you may stop interacting with a person or people who want to spend time with you. As much as this project or journey means to you, try not to neglect those who are dear.
END: Expect to feel a weight off of your shoulders. If this is about your project or journey, I see it bringing joy or a feeling of completeness. It may be possible that it is displayed somewhere to be seen or that you receive some sort of acknowledgment. The High Priestess says, it is essential for your personality and gifts to shine here. Use your intuition to guide your creativity and to determine what is needed. It is okay to pour your pain into it. Whatever this is about, it has great potential for healing not only for yourself but others.
*Readings are for entertainment purposes only.*
Have an amazing month!
- //Blessings 🌺
#tarot reading#tarot#october#October prediction#october 2023#fall equinox#pick an image#pick a picture#pick a photo#free reading#October predictions#spiritual insight#tarot reader#pick a image#pac reading#divination#October reading#collective reading#energy reading#pick a card reading#tarot cards#pick a pile reading#pick a pile#pick a reading#spiritual guidance
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I ended up liking this one even more than Juniper and Thorn. And now I’m feeling the need to replan my reading for the rest of the month…
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