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blissfullyapillow · 2 years ago

Text

₊˚⊹You being a complete degenerate around your boyfriend and very vulgar, but he loves it (he’ll never admit it though)

₊˚⊹fem reader

₊˚⊹wc: 4,764~

₊˚⊹Characters: Dan Heng (+ Imbibitor Lunae), Alhaitham, Neuvillette, Zhongli, Welt, Kaeya

₊˚⊹Warnings: NSFW MDNI, virgin reader (Welt), lots of teasing, thigh riding, cockwarming, two dicks (Zhongli), reader receiving oral, reader is referred to as wife (Kaeya)

₊˚⊹Pillow Talks: Inspired by the many horny Dan Heng Imbibitor Lunae & Neuvillette fics I’ve been reading

๋࣭ ⭑Masterlist

Dan Heng ♡

༺♡༻

•You were bad enough when he was just another human to you, but when you discovered Imbibitor Lunae?

•The things you said to him would make even the most suave individual flustered

•He likes it though. Even though he pretends to be unbothered.

“Dan Heng, please.” Your begging falls on deaf ears as he continues to browse through the data bank.

“Silence. I will indulge your.. desires, once I have found what I’m searching for.” His grumbled reply fails to deter you.

“What you need to be searching for is my clit instead of-“ The rest of your sentence is cut off by a hand.

Your eyes glance up from his hand to his face, and his eyes glance every which way except in your direction.

“How many times do I have to tell you to stop being so vulgar?” He sounds exasperated, annoyed even, yet he slowly pulls his hand away from your mouth knowing you’ll continue.

A smirk lifts your lips as you lean into him, pressing your soft chest against his firm one. You hear the breath he sucks in as his hands find purchase on your hips.

“Don’t you think about me Dan Heng? In the same way I think about you?” Your seductive words elict a pained groan from him, but he remains unmoving in his stance.

"Of course I do. I think about you ceaselessly.” Dan Heng’s husky voice is rapt with desire, and you to rub your thighs together in an attempt to relieve some of the tension. You can already feel how wet your panties are, but you want Dan Heng to be the one to make that discovery.

“Then let’s-“ “Not until I update the data bank. I stopped partway through the last time you distracted me, and I still need to update the data bank with our recent discoveries from our last endeavor.”

Alright, he’s still not budging, but you can tell you’re starting to have an effect on him.

Let’s try a different approach.

“If I masturbate right now, will that get you in the mood?” Your eyes shine with delight when his blue orbs finally land on you, and you can see the barely concealed passion within his gaze.

“Or do you want to fuck me in front of a mirror? We can watch as I slowly sink down on your cock and I ride you nice and slow, just how you like it. Remember the last time I did that? You made the prettiest sounds for me Dan Heng~ Oh, and I know you like it when my nails scratch your back. I promise I’ll leave more marks this time….” As you speak, your hand trails along his arm, squeezing his bicep as your lidded eyes remain locked with his.

His stoic facade cracks slightly, his lips quirking upwards before it quickly returns to its neutral position.

Ah, but you finally feel something poking at you.

Progress.

“Hm? It seems like you like that idea.”

You wrap your arms around his shoulders now, and slide your leg in between his.

He grunts, allowing you to do so.

Now your entire body is all but draped across Dan Heng, and you slowly rub your thigh up and down his clothed erection.

His eyes fall shut and a quiet moan escapes his pretty lips.

“Hmm? What was that sweetheart? I couldn’t hear you properly.” You whisper the words against the shell of his ear, teasing him, and you relish the way his hips rut against your thigh.

“I—…data….update….”The few words he manages to mutter come out broken and borderline incoherent.

“Hm?”

You have him right where you want him.

You suddenly remove yourself from him, and proceed to straighten yourself out. You struggle to conceal your smile as you adjust your clothes.

When you look up at Dan Heng, you’re met by a beautiful sight. He’s a bit confused, panting, and his entire face is flushed along with his ears. His erection is entirely evident, and a wet spot can be seen on his pants.

“I understand. You need to update the data bank right? I’ll leave you to it. Sorry for bothering you.” You send him a faux look of remorse as you turn around, ready to leave.

You only manage to take two steps away before you feel his arms roughly pull you back.

He all but slams you against the wall as his lips effortlessly slot against yours. You’re almost embarrassed by how loud your moan is.

This time, his leg is the one to slot between yours. His tongue wastes no time in bypassing your lips to explore your wet cavern, and his leg between your thighs are soon replaced by his hips.

He ruts his clothed arousal over you, and your body shivers at the delicious friction against your cunt.

Dan Heng pulls away momentarily, and desperate gasps leave him as he catches his breath.

You smile a victorious little grin at him. Your ears don’t miss the low growl he emits. “kiss me again, but- mphh!" He doesn’t let you finish your thought.

You soon find yourself on top of his futon, with his body hovering over yours.

"Lay down for me love, and let me do you how you deserve.”

Oh.

༺♡༻

Imbibitor Lunae ⋆˙⟡♡

“I wonder how many times you can make me cum with just your tail alone?” Your words cause him to stutter, and his flushed face meets your serious expression.

You’re currently situated on his lap, your hands permanently clued to his horns.

Why did he hide this form from you??

He looks gorgeous as the Dan Heng you know and love, but Imbibitor Lunae??

…

You’re one lucky girl.

He coughs, looking away from you. His fingers find the hem of your shirt, and they fumble with the material as your fingers firmly rub the base of his horns.

In lieu of a response, he chokes out a groan, as his body trembles in pleasure under you.

“That feels good. Keep going.” Even though his words aren’t inherently sexual, they cause your face to flush with warmth. You oblige his request, and your fingers lightly graze along the tips of his horns.

This time you feel more than hear the rumbling in his chest. He quickly buries his head into the crook of your neck, and you feel his canines brush along the skin there.

You whimper his name as your hands fall from his horns.

He doesn’t like that.

He growls, and his tail quickly manifests itself to wrap around your torso, holding you firmly in place.

“Did I say you can stop?” His voice is commanding. It’s a stark contrast from his usual sweetness, but it turns you on nonetheless.

“No.” Your response is simple and matter of fact, yet you make no move to resume your previous ministrations on his horns.

You jump when his hips suddenly buck against yours, and he uses the tip of his tail to slip past your undergarments.

A sharp gasp leaves you when you feel his tail brush along your folds, slick with arousal.

“You’re this wet for me already? I’ve hardly touched you, yet.” Dan Heng mocks you with a cocky smirk on his lips.

Instead of slipping his tail past your folds he pulls it back. He removes your clothes with inhuman speed, and his clothes soon fall into the same pile with yours.

His tail wraps around one of your legs, spreading you open for him.

He wastes no time in dipping his head between your legs, and licking a long stripe up your folds to your clit.

You moan his name, and your hands cling to his horns to ground yourself.

He growls. "I want you to be louder, my love." And his tongue works in earnest to give you the mind numbing pleasure you deserve.

༺♡༻

Alhaitham ⋆｡˚

•This man is having none of it, yet he subtlety encourages your behavior. In his own little way.

•On the off chance you catch him off guard you’ll get a cute, surprised little sound out of him

•Most of the time though, he doesn’t care. If he’s in the mood, he’ll indulge you. If not, he’ll just let you talk as he continues to do his own thing. He’ll still listen though, and put your ideas into action when he’s feeling more up to it.

“Don’t you have something else you need to be doing? Surely there are other ways to productively spend your free time.” Alhaitham clicks his tongue as his hand flips a page of his book.

You’ve been pestering him during said leisure time, poking at him, touching him, and you even invited yourself to sit on his lap.

He let you, yet he hasn’t looked up from the pages of his book.

Thankfully for you, he chose to wrap his strong arms around you as he continued to read.

“I don’t have something else I need to be doing, but I have someone I could be doing right now.”

You swear you see his lips quirk into a little grin, but the sight is gone as soon as it appeared.

“Is sitting on my lap not enough for you? I’m clearly occupied with important matters right now.” Alhaitham does not humor you, and his eyes scour the words on the page before his hand flips it over once more.

“Well I don’t particularly mind just sitting on your lap.. but why don’t we make things interesting? You can keep reading your book, and I can get what I want out of it too. It’s a win-win situation.” You propose your idea.

Alhaitham finally looks up from his book, a knowing glint in his eyes, but he humors you anyway.

“And what might that be?”

You smirk.

“What do you say to having my warm hole comfortably wrapped around your dick as you read? I promise I won’t move… well, no promises-but-!” “Go ahead.”

You’re almost surprised at how quickly he agrees and how nonchalant he sounds about it, but you’re not going to deny yourself.

That’s how you find yourself cockwarming Alhaitham as he continues to read. One of his hands firmly rests against your lower back, drawing soothing circles onto the skin.

You groan when you feel the way his dick jumps inside of you when you squirm.

“I thought you said you’d stay still?” Alhaitham teases you. “I did say no promises!” “But I agreed to do this on the condition that you’d be silent, correct?” You don’t have a retort to that since he’s right.

Alhaitham decided, once you were fully seated on his lap with his dick inside of you, that he would only continue to indulge you if you remained silent.

Then he proceeded to bounce his leg at random intervals and change position as he read, even though he wasn’t doing any of those things before you started cockwarming him.

“You’re a jerk. You know that?”

His smug grin shows you he damn well knows that already.

"Staying quiet was never your strong suit, was it?" Alhaitham chuckles, choosing to ignore your statement.

"Make me shut up then."

Oh, now that got his attention.

He shuts his book abruptly, and all of his attention turns to focus on you.

"You're wearing way too many clothes for what I have in mind." His says this matter of factly, and his fingers now toy with the hem of your clothes.

“Then take them off me.” You retort.

“You’ll have to get off my lap for me to do so, and I believe that’s not an option you’re willing to explore right now.”

Damn. He’s right.

“If I get off your lap can I cum on your face?” He rolls his eyes at your bold proposal.

“Only if you sit on my face. Not hover, sit.” His voice is huskier now, and his hand on your lower back pulls you closer to him.

“So you’ll fuck me with your tongue then? And I’ll get to see your lips slick with my cum?” Your words are sultry, and all too tempting for Alhaitham.

This time he audibly groans, and his dick jumps once again inside of you.

You squeeze him in reply.

That action alone is enough for Alhaitham’s lips to seek yours, and his tongue leaves no area inside your mouth unexplored.

When you begin to move your hips against his, he nibbles your lower lip in warning before his hands rest on your hips to hold you still.

You pull away with a pout, and he shakes his head at you in scolding.

“Not until you sit on my face. I need to taste you.”

…

Well, at least he isn’t reading his book anymore

༺♡༻

Neuvillette 𓆩♡𓆪

•Your words will either fluster him or you’ll get zero reaction. There’s no in between.

•Depending on what you say he’s either really soft and sweet or very demanding and rough. Whatever you’re both in the mood for honestly.

"I miss you in between my legs" You whisper against his ear.

He coughs and chokes a bit on the beverage he was drinking.

You gently pat his back, and he takes a moment to compose himself.

“I can spread myself nice and pretty for you sweetheart. Would you like that?” Your lips brush against his sensitive ear, and you press a lingering kiss right below it.

You adore the pink hue on his cheeks, along with the tight grip he has on the small cup in his hand.

“If you want we can start slow? I can just use your thighs, I can cum without you touching me. Can I get a reward if I do? Please?” You pathetically beg Neuvillette to ride his thigh, and your mouth begins to trail sloppy kisses down his neck.

He’s speechless, and frankly a bit turned on.

He refuses to respond right away as he contemplates your words.

“My love..” He starts. You perk up, temporarily stopping your onslaught of kisses. “Yes?” With that one word, uttered breathlessly, you manage to sound needy, desperate, and horny; you can’t bring yourself to care.

"Your wish is my command." His statement is followed by the gentle grip of his hands on your sides. He leisurely guides you onto his lap.

Once you’re positioned comfortably on one of his thighs, he spreads them a bit.

You glance down between his thighs, licking your lips as you fantasize about the beautiful dick you’ve had the honor of seeing many times now.

Neuvillette notices your intense gaze. He uses his fingers to gently lift your chin to look into his eyes. “You won’t get what you want unless you work for it. Be a good girl and pleasure yourself on my thigh.” A shiver runs down your spine from Neuvellite’s light praise, and you immediately get to work.

Your hands anchor themselves to his shoulders, and you start to move.

Neuvillette’s hands on your waist stops you, and your expression is now one of confusion.

“How do you expect to feel me properly through this bothersome fabric?” Neuvillette tsks. His hands slowly move up your body, stopping on your chest to give it a playful squeeze.

Your breath hitches and your hips move on his thigh in response.

“You need to strip first, so you can feel everything I have to offer you.” His words are hot, and they only make you more excited.

His iron grip on your person prevents you from getting off on his thigh, so you carefully strip as he watches you with lidded eyes.

You manage to remove all your articles of clothing, and you maneuver your legs to slide your panties off of you.

Before you can toss them to the side, Neuvillette grabs your panties from you and stuffs them away. “I’ll be keeping that. Now, show me what you can do my pretty girl.” He commands. His hands begin to wander as you begin humping his thigh in earnest.

A salacious moan leaves your lips as the fabric of his clothes create delightful friction against your clit. Your hips increase their pace, and you make sure to voice how much you’re enjoying this.

Your ears pick up Neuvellite’s groan, and he leans into you. You gasp, your hands clutching his shoulders, as his tongue runs along your now hardened nipple.

His mouth closes around the bud, and you feel the delightful flick of his tongue on your nipple once more.

He makes sure to show the other the same amount of attention with his fingers.

Pleasure racks your body at Neuvillette’s ministrations. A sound of surprise leaves you when Neuvillette bounces his thigh a bit, and you feel the muscles there tighten.

Neuvillette pulls away from your nipple to lovingly gaze at your expression of pleasure. “You make the prettiest sounds for me, Angel.” Then his mouth is on your other nipple.

He has to equally show both of them just how much he loves them, after all.

༺♡༻

Zhongli ‎♡‧₊˚

•It surprised him at first but he quickly grew used to it

•He finds it fun at times, and may even indulge you a bit

•other times, you test his patience in the best way that you know he loves

“I know it slaps your thigh when you walk.” He whips his head around to gap at you.

Honestly this is normal when it comes to you, yet you still manage to catch him off guard from time to time.

Zhongli’s chuckle is low, and full of warning.

“My dear, do you really think you should be telling me this while we’re out in public? What if someone overhears you..” He gracefully moves closer to you as the both of you continue your journey home.

“I don’t mind.” You reply, as if his concern was your embarrassment and not the prospect of people hearing such lewd comments come from that pretty mouth of yours.

He sighs as he places your hand in his, but he makes no further comment.

“What are you going to do if I don’t stop? Punish me?” The way you ask him is much too eager for his liking.

“I’m not sure if you can handle another one of my punishments again so soon. Do you recall how you couldn’t walk for hours after your last punishment?” Zhongli’s words are firm, yet there’s a dangerous edge to them.

If you push it, you’ll get what you want.

So, you purposely pretend to ‘bump into him’ as you walk side by side, and you topple over onto him. He stops, helping to hold you up before you can fall to the ground.

He sounds a bit panicked as he asks “Are you okay dear? Do you need my assist…” The rest of the word dies in his throat when you place your hand on his crotch, using it as ‘leverage’ to lift yourself up.

You have the audacity to squeeze the area before you let go, straightening yourself once more.

To the public eye, you appear apologetic and overly remorseful as you apologize to your lover for “toppling over so suddenly.”

When you meet his gaze, his irises are stormy and his grip on your hand is tight.

Oh, he’s pissed.

“It is alright darling. Let us get you inside so I can make sure you are okay.” Zhongli sounds polite and even concerned as he quickly ushers you the rest of the short distance home, but you can read between the lines.

He’s going to ruin you.

As soon as the door to your shared abode is gently closed shut, and locked, your body is roughly slammed against the door.

Zhongli’s mouth is on yours and you barely have time to catch your breath. His hands begin to disrobe you, and you moan in his mouth as you kiss.

When he moves away his teeth gently pulls on your bottom lip, and it sends you into a frenzy.

“Do you always have to go out of your way to be too much for me to handle? It drives me crazy.” Zhongli growls the words against the shell of your ear.

You grin as your arms wrap around him, pulling him against you. “I try always to be too much for you." Your cheeky little grin only makes his gaze darken further, and that’s when you know you won’t be able to walk once he’s finished with you.

“By the way…” He whispers, his hands rest on your inner thigh as he waits to finish his statement.

“They do slap my thigh when I walk.”

༺♡༻

Welt ₊˚⊹♡⸝⸝

•Unruffled. Seriously. You can say the most lewd thing you can think of and at most he’ll send a small smile your way.

•More than happy to indulge you on whatever desires you have, he’s okay with experimenting.

•If you happen to catch him off guard with your words, you’ll catch the rare sight of a flustered Welt

“I’ve been wondering what it feels like to be stuffed to brim with someone’s cum. Could you enlighten me?” Your question is loud and clear, with no hesitation in your voice.

Welt slowly turns to face you, staring long and hard at you.

“I certainly could.. enlighten you on that matter, but are you sure this is something you really want?” Welt’s words are kind in nature, and he moves to sit beside you on his bed.

You’ve been in a relationship with Welt for a long time now, and he’s grown quite used to your.. expressive nature.

Even so, you’ve never actually partook in that activity with anyone before. Welt knew that, so although your words were very vulgar, and very true, he insisted that you two wait until you were sure you were ready.

Out of all the times Welt has offered to take care of you, you feel complete confidence that you’re ready to accept his offer now.

“I’m sure.” Your voice is self assured and full of confidence. Welt chuckles, and his hand moves to rest on your thigh. He doesn’t move it, but the weight of his hand is enough to soothe what little nerves you had.

“Alright then. Show me how you do it when you touch yourself. We can take it from there.”

Oh. Uh..

He looks at you, and he can only sigh. Your face says it all.

“You’ve never even touched yourself?” His words aren’t harsh nor reprimanding. If anything, he’s a bit surprised.

“I’ve just.. never had the urge to..?” You phrase it more like a question, but there’s truth in your words.

Welt says nothing as he moves to hover over you. You lie down on your back and look up at Welt. If you didn’t know any better you’d think he was completely unbothered by everything, if not for the slight pinkness to his cheeks.

“We’ll start slow then. Can I touch you?” At your approval, Welt wastes no time in connecting your lips.

He starts slow, and soon you two build up to a heated make out session. Now, Welt’s hand slowly rubs up and down your thigh.

He waits until your tense muscles relax under his touch, and that’s when he slowly moves his hand towards your inner thigh.

He cautiously runs two of his fingers up your folds, still covered by the fabric of your clothes. You shiver and mewl, squeezing your legs together.

Welt’s hands firmly grasp your legs to spread them apart. His lips leave yours to speak to you.

“Now now, how am I supposed to make you feel good if you hide yourself? Let me help you out of this..” Welt strips you, with your watchful gaze on him the entire time, and soon you lay before him in only your bra and panties.

He strips himself down to his boxers so you don’t feel so uncomfortable being exposed.

He runs his fingers over your folds once more, and this time he can feel just how soaked your panties are.

Something akin to a grunt leaves him, and his fingers slowly remove your panties.

“You’re so wet just from making out. It makes me want to ruin you.”

His words make you clench around nothing.

Welt lowers himself to be situated in front of your now exposed cunt, and he lifts your legs to rest on his shoulders.

Your heart beats faster in your chest, and almost as if Welt senses this, he glances at you.

“No need to worry. I got you.” His words soothe something inside of you, but his tongue ignites a burning flame within you as it skillfully gathers up your slick arousal.

You cover your mouth with your hand, the feeling surprisingly pleasant.

“Does this feel good?” Welt’s words are a bit muffled as he talks while eating you out, and the vibrations of his voice makes your toes curl and your head fall back.

“Y-Yeah..” You moan.

You’re sure if you could see his face, you’d see a smile right now.

“Good. I’ll take care of you, just relax.”

And take care of you he did. Thoroughly.

༺♡༻

Kaeya ⋆˙⟡♡

•Honestly it’s hard to fluster this man with lewd words alone.

•If anything, it slowly turns into “try not to get flustered by Kaeya” as he becomes very handsy and equally, if not more, vulgar than you.

•He loves it when you talk to him like that though. Nothing turns him on more than you knowing what you want, and making sure he knows it too.

"Don't close your eyes, baby. Look at me." Kaeya’s sultry whisper isn’t enough to make you heed his command.

He’s currently pressed against you, and you’re trapped underneath him on your shared bed. “Oh, how tragic. My adorable wife won’t even spare a glance in my direction. Whatever shall I do?” You’re not falling for Kaeya’s faux sadness.

You can feel just how excited this situation makes him.

Said excitement rubs along your inner thigh, and you can feel the tip rub along your folds.

“Stop teasing and just put it in already.” You whine. If your eyes were open you’d see a wicked grin on his face.

“Now sweetheart, weren’t you the one who said you wanted me to.. hmm.. what was it again? ‘I want you to breed me full of your cum.’ ‘Don’t stop until I won’t be able to walk tomorrow.’ ‘Don’t bother teasing me back this time, use that smooth tongue of yours for something else.’ Were those not your exact words? Am I remembering things incorrectly, my lovely wife?” Kaeya’s smooth voice repeats your lewd words right back at you, against the shell of your ear.

His mouth occupies itself with nibbling on your earlobe before it moves to your neck. As he begins to harshly suck on the area, you know he’ll only continue until he finally gets what he wants out of you. So, you slowly open your eyes.

Almost as if he senses it, he finishes giving you a wonderful bruise on your neck before he pulls back to look at you.

“There’s my pretty girl.” His words are followed by the swift action of him stuffing you full with his cock.

Your moan is so loud he chuckles, and his hands trace circles along the skin of your hip.

He doesn’t move though. He stays completely still.

“I want to hear you beg.” He demands.

Your eyes take in his serious expression, and you know he’ll have no problem staying like this with you the whole night; He won’t move unless you do what he’s asked of you.

“I.. Kaeya..” You mutter softly, hesitant to beg.

“Hmm? What did my sweet little angel say? You’ll have to speak louder, so your doting husband can satisfy your needs. I can’t do that unless I know what those needs are though, right?”

Oh, this little shit.

“Kaeya, please stuff me full of your cum! Don’t stop until it’s leaking out, and even then keep giving me your seed. I need you Kaeya. You’re the only one who can satisfy me. Only you. Please..” Kaeya’s gaze darkens when your beautiful whines reach his ears, and he shifts a bit to better position himself.

“Arch your back for me.” Is all he says.

So you do, and thus begins a night full of love making.

He made good on your request and stuffed you full of his cum, and he made sure your hole didn’t let a single drop escape.

3K notes · View notes

mehiwilldoitlater · 4 months ago

Note

LOVED THE MACAQUE ONE..I WAS ACTUALLY SURPRISED YOU EVEN RESPONDED 😭😭 THANK YOU SO MUCH..🧡💛💚💜🤎🖤🖤🤍but we totally need a part two..the idea on what macaque could do to us is thrilling to read! But of course you can just ignore this if you don't feel like making it:)

The smell of blood and metal was sickening.

Your hair was drenched in your sweat; you tried to gasp for air every time you got the chance, while your fingernails grasped with all their strength the wooden trunk under you.

Another attempt from you, the gears in the metal arm kept on moving, trying to coordinate with your own will, your voice muffled a scream from the pain and the struggle.

The old dragon offered you another sip of water; the dog tried again to convince you to take something to alleviate the pain, but you dismissed it again. You deserved it, after all those dead and that accepting demeanor; you wanted to feel pain, to feel alive.

Another time, the monkey tried to launch at you to stop you, but the paw of the tiger, the creator of that metal arm, stopped him.

"Let her finish this."

His voice is severe and stern, but full of hope for your success.

After another agonizing feel, you felt it.

The wood under the arm, the grips of those new fingers on themself, the warmth of the fire.

With a smile, you finally allowed your body to collapse from the fatigue.

///

By getting closer, he didn't care about the eyeball that he squished in the process. Why should he? He ripped it off from the gorilla's face, no?

The giant ape crawled back, trying to get away from this creature that had not only beaten him up, but had even disfigured his face and body, everything with an annoyed glare and a sickening gleam in his eyes. The gorilla had heard about the macaque and his rampage, but he never thought that he could be this dangerous.

"Again," he spoke in a monotone tone, "I know you gave them shelter; I can smell it, so…where did they go?"

His nails, covered in blood, started to scratch on the wall of the house, a sign of his impatience.

"P-please, mercy…"

"I am merciful enough to let you speak. Now…where…did…they…GO?"

His voice now showed his anger. He could smell you, your addicting aroma in this hole of a place. How could you prefer to live like a renegade instead of a decent and modest life with him…

The gorilla stumbled. His words, too afraid of this monster to care for two nobodies.

"West! They…they went West! Three days ago!"

The macaque finally stopped, smiling.

"Thank you…"

And, with one swing, the head of the gorilla started to roll on the ground.

///

"Okay…almost…"

Your metal fingers still struggled to adjust; you had lost your arm for so long that now you had to start from zero like a newborn. It felt so strange; you could actually feel it with that prosthetic arm, thanks to the ability of Yin Tiger and his brothers, and sometimes you actually forgot you regained what the macaque took from you. You were trying to eat, trying to take to your mouth the spoonful of soup, only for your hands to lose again the grip, making the object fall on the ground.

You sighed, trying to reach it, before the furry hand of the destined one reached it before you. He gave it a small cleanse on his robe and then holed it back to you.

"Don't overdo it; remember what old Xu said. One step at a time, okay?"

You smiled, looking at the small piece of wood. If you were still under Macaque's clutches, he would have just fed you himself, remarking on how helpless you were without him. This monkey, instead, respected your privacy and your desire to gain back some self-control.

He was beyond patient, holding your speed, respecting your boundaries, but he had shown several times that he wanted to see the real you, the one that Macaque had tried to keep to himself, that maybe had been imprisoned the day you were defeated, but mostly the one he started to see on the surface.

The more progress you were making, the more you started to gain back your true self, a small laugh there, a small quarrel here. The meek, submissive, and scared Y/n was slowly turning back into someone that he really hoped to see, to meet!

His duty wasn't just to protect you from the yaoguais; it was to remind you that you belonged to no one but yourself, that you were free and with a chance. You chose to suffer to take back your arm; that step was the biggest that you must have made in the last months.

You tried again; your trembling finger held the spoon like a child, but, with a few tries, you were able to finally take a bit of the food in front of you.

Your voice, muffled by the spoon and the food, alerted him for a second, but when he saw your beaming wit satisfaction for this small success, he calmed down immediately. He laughed. The face you were making now was absolutely gorgeous, and you couldn't not be affected by it by following him.

You hoped to be able to do it properly, but you owed him more than your life.

///

The view was sickening, by using nice words.

So that was the Destined one, huh? Well, besides the fact that he didn't like him by blood, he felt the urge to bite off those hands that were just brushing you.

He was the one that took you away, the one that had convinced you to follow him on a barren land, full of danger.

And what was that? He had given you back your arm? It was made of iron and gear, small vines connected to your flesh to make it functional. Did he know how painful the process was? Did he know how struggling it was to learn how to use one of those?! Of course not, and of course he needed to give you an arrangement to not care for you properly.

He wanted Nottingham more to tear that lying tongue from his mouth and take you back, but he hesitated. Hidebi. The shadow ge observed you… Since when did he see you laugh like that?

… He had hoped to see that smile for so long… No, he needed that back, but he needed a plan. He could have just killed him on the spot, but you would then hate him more than ever…

No, he needed you to trust him again... and he may had a plan.

///

"Are you sure you can stay here on your own?"

"You don't need to worry so much for me; I can handle a few minutes on my own!" You laughed, moving your new hand, waving it a little. In a few days, you were now able to make some more complicated movements; maybe in some more, it would be impossible to distinguish from a real one.

He tried to calm himself; it had been a few nights that he had some strange feelings around you two, but he still didn't want to worry you. He smiled, trying to calm. himself down.

"All right, I'll fetch the firewood. If anything happens, just—"

"Just call me; I know! I know monkey…really…"

Your calming tone did some of the job, and with a little unsettled spirit, he started to search for a stick to burn. You, now you own, sit on a stone, admiring under the moonlight by your prosthetic arm, proud of your progress. You giggled, lying down on the cold surface, the sweet spring wind brushing your eyes and cheeks.

You weren't sure how long had passed, but when you heard footsteps towards your location, you presumed that he had completed his task. You rose from the Stone, looking towards the sound direction.

"You're back! How did it…"

His white fur shined under the moonlight; his piercing eyes could be mistaken for the ones of a predator for the way that they were gleaming towards you. For a moment, you thought that that eerie image was just another product of your imagination, but when the sound of his steps matched his movements, in horror, you knew that it wasn't just a dream.

His ears were formidable, was he able to war you heart beating in fear?

You jumped up, not loosing any seconds, grabbing the staffvthatvthe Destined one jad gifted you, to gave you courage. You pointed it towards the Macaque, creatina some distance.

"Don't come any closer! STAY AWAY!"

You rised you voice, holding to alert your friend. He rised his hands, showing that he didn't intended to fight.

"I don't want to make trouble."

"Well, I don't care! GO AWAY! LONKEY?! MONKEY!!!"

"No! No, no, please just listen!"

He put down his staff, now unharmed, but your eyes and your own weapon were still glued to him. You didn't trust him; you never could, but at least he would have faced those who truly cared for you. He bowed down, letting you choose the distance between you two, looking at you with a pair of sad eyes.

"I'm glad that you're fine; I was worried beyond my own mind…"

"Ah, yes, of course! Tell me another of your lies!"

"I've lied about many things and everything, but the fact that I love and care for you isn't untrue."

"Shut up!" You said in a growl, "Those words mean nothing to you! You care only for yourself!"

He sighed, slowly rising up.

"Maybe, maybe I'm selfish like you say… But I'm not trying to take you away, am I?"

Well, he did have a point…knowing him, he would have been ready jumping over you, or dragging you away back to that nightmare of a mountain. Instead he was there, his knee on the ground and his staff away from him.

Maybe… No, he wanted you to lower your guard and then strike! He noticed your lost look that you tried to conceal. He then stopped up without moving from his spot.

"Look… I came to apologize for everything. I know that what I did is beyond forgivable, but… I needed you to know."

"Ah! Are you serious?!" You laughed with a sour taste in your mouth. "After all the pain, the struggle that YOU cause, you dare to..to…:…:"

"I dare because my love, as tainted as it is, it's true, before and now even."

He took his weapon, makingg some stepss from the way he had come. Maybe…he wanted just to apologize?… No, it was making no sense; he wasn't that kind of person. You did notot know what had happenedd inthe weeks while youwere gone,, but… ouwanted to believe that he couldn't change, but you were hanging on on too,, right? He gave you a small glance without turning back, seeing your still confused stance.

"And of course I wanted to see if you really were sure about your decision."

"Sure?… About what?"

"Of trustinging him…"

He started to move, slowly. He could hear it, the beating of your heart, your breath that was getting harder, yourr voice trembling in your neck.

"WAIT!"

He tried his best to not let that smile come out, so he composed himself, looking back at you. You didn't dareto move away, too scared to make another step,, but eve staying without knowing what his words meant.

"W… What do you mean by that?"

"He's a monkey, of course, like me… Despite our intention, stealing and cheating is in our blood. If we like something, we take it, and if they refuse us…you have seen for yourself…"

His finger pointed to you, to your arm precisely.

"…No, you're… You're trying to confuse me!" You tried to keep your voice firm again. "He's not like you! He wants to help me; he HAD helped me!"

He turned, facing you completely. You tried again to hide it, but now that he had installed it, the doubt, in your still broken and tired mind, was starting to form.

"I helped you too before…remember?"

Your heart skipped abeat.

How easy… You were so naive; that was one of the main reasons why he loved you so much, but it made you trust people that didn't deserve it, like himself. Now, he just had to use it in another approach, installing the doubt, the confusion… After all, it was impossible to believe that you were still capable of trusting someone in such an easy way after everything that had happened, right?

Another voice came from the forest: the Destined One was coming back for you. He moved away; you didn't even dare to call back for your friend, looking at the macaque, begging him to tell you more, but your voice was stuck in your lungs.

"I do love you, Y/n... My door is always open for you, my love… "If something happens, you just need to call me."

He started to run away.

"I will listen…"

And so, just like he had appeared, he had vanished in the shadows, leaving you there with more questions than you had before.

When the monkey reached you, you didn't even actually notice him. His breath was short; he must have run towards his previous location to you, his weapon already in his hands.

"Y/N! Are you okay?! Something happened?!"

You turned towards him in silence. What if the macaque was right? How long till even this monkey would turn against you, taking away your new arm just for the sake of taking care of you like a child?

What if this one was just a big plan, and his rescue held so much sinister intentions? What is he? He didn't even care to help you go back home but just kept you there with him like…

"Hey…"

His hand touched your arm, making you gasp for one second. His worried eyes glimmered with the fire next to you.

"What's happened?"

"Nothing," you whispered, "nothing."

///

By watching the scene, the macaque couldn't hold his laugh. That was far too easy! Why bother attacking that pest when he could just take you back by your own will?!

What he needed to do now was just create the right scenes, and then you would be the one calling his name now!

The only truth there, for him, was that he loved you far too much, and he was willing to do anything to take you back.

Playing with your mind is included.

((can you feel the rapunzel vibe?))

@thepoweroffiction @angryvampire @the-little-devils-chaos

@nerium-lil

@phoenixeclipse-lmkau @miifu666 @sleepingdramaqueen @whitefox2k18 @ladydoe8 @jeminiikrystal @theactualgir @birdioarts

@jssy96 @silenthopper @nezukos-number1fan

@blackknight-kai

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swiftmorgan13 · 26 days ago

Text

HANDCUFFS — mafia!billie eilish x fem!oc

SERIES MASTERLIST

⍟⍟⍟⍟⍟⍟⍟⍟⍟⍟⍟⍟⍟⍟⍟⍟⍟

October 29, 2029

The morning silence was violently interrupted by a muffled, cushioned thud. Karev groaned from the couch, shaking himself like an irritated animal as a pillow bounced off the floor.

"Ow, shit!" Alex grumbled, yanking the blanket off himself. "Is this how you treat refugees?"

He opened his eyes slowly. The ceiling of Morgan's apartment was already familiar, as was the smell of coffee, disinfectant, and scattered medical books. Turning his head, he saw Morgan standing in front of him, her hair pulled into a messy bun, wearing a gray T-shirt that read 'Women in Surgery Do It Better', and flashing a morning smile that knew exactly how to annoy him.

"You're not a refugee. You're a professional squatter. It's six forty, you should already be showered, dressed, and bracing for another morning of bad coffee and surgical trauma."

Alex sat up, disheveled, eyes squinting.

"How the hell do you have so much energy this early?"

"Because unlike you, I didn't fuel myself with cold pizza and cheap beer last night," she replied, heading back to the kitchen to pour more coffee.

Alex staggered to his feet, rubbing his face. From the kitchen, Morgan raised her voice inquisitively.

"So? When are you getting off my couch?"

He smiled as he made his way to the bathroom, not looking back.

"What's the rush? Deep down… you like having me here. Don't pretend."

Morgan set her mug down on the counter, raising an eyebrow. "You think so?"

"Of course," he said from the bathroom doorway. "I'm your best friend, your free therapist, and I add aesthetic value to the place. What more could you ask for?"

She chuckled under her breath.

"A boyfriend who doesn't leave dirty socks on the back of the couch."

"Ouch. Cold."

"Realistic."

They shared a quick glance before Alex closed the bathroom door. Morgan remained in the kitchen for a moment, slowly turning her mug in her hands. She could joke with Alex all she wanted, but since the surgery, something had been buzzing under her skin. A constant restlessness. She hadn't slept well. She couldn't stop thinking about that patient.

Billie.

The woman had come out of surgery stable, but under constant federal watch. Morgan hadn't been allowed near her again beyond the mandatory medical report. Still… something about that operation, that face, that sleeping whisper, had stuck with her.

Morgan walked to her desk. Amid the papers and a stethoscope lay a notebook. She flipped it open. On the margin of a page, scribbled in pencil, it read:

"Eilish, B. — abdominal trauma — positive clinical progress."

She shook her head, as if the gesture could erase the question. Then she went to get changed. She had patients to save, colleagues to tolerate, and a couch to reclaim.

But deep down… she knew something was coming.

Something no scalpel or medical logic could explain.

Because that woman wasn't just a patient.

At the hospital, Billie opened her eyes for the first time since the operation. The light stung. The hum of machines, the steady rhythm of the heart monitor, and the sterile smell surrounded her.

But it wasn't the discomfort that bothered her.

It was the feeling of being contained.

She tried to move, but her abdomen protested with a sharp pain. And then she saw her: an FBI agent sitting in a chair across from her bed. She looked at her expressionlessly, but hee hand rested close to the holster where her weapon sat.

"Morning, O'Connell. Sleep well? Don't worry… you'll have time to get used to it."

Billie closed her eyes for a moment. Not out of fear. But because she hated not being in control.

Still, something told her that doctor, that woman with the steady voice and intense eyes, would come back.

Morgan walked the hospital halls with her usual steady stride, reviewing patient charts, signing paperwork, and taking brief calls from the staff. The morning unfolded with the usual rhythm of a shift: lives hanging by a thread and others just seeking relief.

But that day, one room in particular held a different tension.

Billie, the enigmatic figure who'd gone into surgery two days earlier with two gunshot wounds, was no longer just another patient. Her name echoed through the hospital, but for the past few hours, she had been placed in a special suite, isolated from civilian patients, surrounded by federal agents, and guarded without pause.

Morgan reached the door to that room. She knocked softly and stepped in, wearing her white coat and with a stethoscope hanging around her neck.

Inside, Billie lay back in bed, pale, her gaze fixed on some undefined point. Handcuffs discreetly bound her to the bed rails. Four federal agents stood silently on watch, with Agent Torrance observing from a corner, arms crossed, her expression unreadable.

Morgan approached with professionalism, looking at Billie with respect, but not fear.

"Good morning. I'm Dr. Shepherd. I'm here for your routine check-up."

Billie turned her head slightly, her eyes tired but still intense, and without wasting time, gestured toward the cuffs.

"Are those handcuffs really necessary?" Morgan asked calmly, almost as if she were evaluating a clinical detail.

Rachel spoke up without looking away.

"Protocol, Doctor. Until her legal status is clarified, we can't allow any risks. She's considered high-risk, with multiple outstanding arrest warrants."

Morgan nodded without argument. She moved closer to the bed, carefully took Billie’s pulse, listened to her chest, and checked the dressings. Despite the severity of the wounds, Billie was surprisingly stable.

"She's responding well to the medication," Morgan commented. "Her blood pressure is within acceptable parameters, and there are no signs of infection. However, she needs complete rest."

Billie exhaled, slightly frustrated.

"How long do you think I'll have to stay here, cuffed and watched?" her voice was low, almost a whisper. "I didn't come here to be a prisoner."

Morgan looked at her with a mix of understanding and professional detachment.

"That's not up to me. But what I can promise is that everything here will be done to ensure your recovery. For your health, nothing else."

Billie closed her eyes for a moment, as if trying to accept that reality.

Morgan stepped back carefully, letting the agents resume their watch. Before leaving, she cast one last glance at the young woman who, at that moment, seemed a fragile mix of strength and vulnerability.

"If you need anything, just press the button."

The door closed slowly behind her.

The hospital's constant hum faded to a dull murmur as Morgan stepped into the cafeteria. The smell of reheated coffee and industrial soup filled the air, but she didn't mind. After a morning packed with rounds, charts, and impossible patients, that little corner, a rare empty table by the window, was her quiet refuge.

With a tray in hand, she sat down and exhaled slowly, leaning back against the chair. She was tired. She still couldn't shake the image of Billie from her mind. Handcuffed. Silent. And yet, somehow… commanding. Even lying in bed, she seemed to dominate the room. Morgan hated to admit it, but something in that gaze had unsettled her. Billie had spoken to her with her eyes, even though no real conversation had taken place.

She forced herself to focus on her salad, stirring the dressing with a fork. That's when she heard the voices.

"I'm telling you, it wasn't appendicitis, it was an ovarian cyst with an inflated ego!" Cristina Yang said as she entered the cafeteria with her trademark clinical sarcasm.

"Cristina, not everything that hurts down there is about the uterus," replied Meredith Grey, pouring herself a cup of coffee with her usual mix of elegance and chronic exhaustion.

"Do you guys ever consider lowering your volume before entering a public space?" asked Derek Shepherd, trailing behind them.

"Never," Cristina and Meredith answered in unison.

Alex Karev was the last to arrive, carrying a tray with more food than one person needed.

"Hey, look who beat us here," he said, spotting Morgan. "Dr. Antisocial, eating alone. Shocker…"

Morgan raised an eyebrow without looking up.

"I was hoping to have a peaceful lunch before the herd arrived."

Derek smiled and dropped into the chair across from her. "We'll take that as an invitation."

Within seconds, the chairs around her were filled. Cristina sat to her left, Meredith next to Derek, and Alex parked his tray beside hers like he lived there.

"How's the mystery patient?" Meredith asked in a lowered voice. Everyone knew who she meant.

Morgan didn't look up.

"Stable. Recovering better than expected."

"And the Feds?" Derek chimed in. "I hear they've locked down the north wing."

"They have. Four agents at the door, and Agent Torrance practically sleeps in a chair next to her bed."

"What do you think?" Alex asked, biting into his burger. "Do you think she's guilty?"

Morgan finally looked up. She glanced at each of them, calm as ever.

"It's not my job to judge patients. Just to make sure they live long enough to be judged by someone else."

Cristina chuckled under her breath, clearly delighted.

"Touché."

"But she intrigues you," Meredith said, giving her that clinical look she used to read people.

Morgan didn't answer right away. She took a sip of her coffee, then slowly set the cup down on the table.

"What intrigues me is how a woman in handcuffs, who bled half a liter into my hands and can barely sit up without pain… still has a stare that could freeze an entire room. That's not normal. She's not a victim. Not just a criminal either."

"She's Billie O'Connell," Derek murmured, as if that explained everything.

And in a way, it did.

The group continued talking, jokes, diagnoses, hospital complaints. But in the back of Morgan's mind, the feeling lingered.

The sense of being watched.

Because just a few floors away, in the reinforced security room, Billie Eilish O'Connell lay with her eyes half-closed. She looked asleep.

But she wasn't.

#billie eilish x reader #billie x reader #billie eilish angst #billie eilish fic #billie eilish #billie eilish fluff #hmhas billie eilish #hit me hard and soft #mafia au #x reader #wlw #fem x fem

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deadhands69 · 3 months ago

Text

A New End: Wreckage

Tomura Shigaraki x Reader

Spoilers: Gigantomachia through Redestro (some divergence from canon) This series contains: gn/afab reader, angst, violence, mentions of blood/injuries, cussing, smut. sorry, as a heads up a few of these chapters got out of hand and ended up over the 2-3k average wc for this series.

previous - this is part 6 - next

[series masterlist]

|\/\/\| wreckage |/\/\/|

The league is grumbling more than usual, but at least it’s nice out today.

With Kurogiri’s recent capture, the Creature Rejection Clan robbery last night being less than profitable, and most of the league generally feeling like not enough progress is being made for the quality of life they’re enduring, morale is at an all time low.

This morning, it was decided you would all go out for a walk in the forest near the mountains. Both to clear your head and exist in nature but also because Tomura has been searching for…something. Some ultimate weapon All for One left for him, but he doesn’t really know what it is or where to find it. That’s where you come in: your job is to lead the way, wherever feels right. And today, that’s the forest. Everyone is a bit annoyed, but without anything better to do or any excuses not to join, here you all are. Even Dabi tagged along.

Your quirk shot off a quick feeling of warning this morning when Eri hopped up to join. It was quickly decided she should stay, considering that the last time your quirk warned you against something in that way Magne died and no one here is comfortable letting a child take that risk. With the doors locked, snacks left out, and Spinner offering to come home within the hour, you were all on your way. Eri understood and seemed glad for the excuse to read the new books Compress brought her rather than being dragged around on yet another walk.

It's a beautiful day in the forest. You try to ignore everyone's shit moods for a bit and just enjoy it. The weather is nice, temperate. A few wispy clouds float through the air while treetops dance ahead of them. The breeze is cool but it's sunny enough you don't notice it much. A few images flash in front of your eyes, like usual, and you ignore those too. You're so lost in the moment that you almost don't notice the dirt road quaking beneath you.

Suddenly, the ground flies out from under you and the shadow of a massive giant forms in the dust. Trees shake as he speaks and you keep your distance. You watch him go from angry to crying, everyone looks confused. A few league members step forward and attack to no avail. A voice brings your attention to the radio hung by a rope around his neck. Tomura talks to this person for a bit, is this who he has been looking for?

Twice burps and just as Toga starts to scold him for it, a dark colored sludge surrounds you, starting in your mouth and spreading. It isn’t painful, just disgusting in a massively uncomfortable way. Nothing in your body feels right and you can’t quite pinpoint where to place it. The sensation of spinning overwhelms you, but you can’t see anything to focus on. In an instant, your feet find solid ground and your vision returns – slightly.

The darkness around you is jarring. Having gone from a nice day in the forest to a darkened lab, both your eyes and mind struggle to adjust. Glowing purple tanks of what you’re assuming are nomu surround you. It’s unsettling, to say the least. This place has an awful energy. There's so much potential here and none of it feels right.

A doctor greets you all, asking Tomura about his family which piques your interest - he rarely talks about them. All you've heard is that they died when he was young and he doesn't remember anything else. You wonder if the doctor means All For One or Kurogiri who are both in prison.

Tomura works to gain the doctor’s help for the league, but you still feel uneasy about it all. While you don’t have explicit words or images for your feelings, there’s something very off about the doctor. About all of this. The way he looks at everyone combined with your underlying quirk senses set your nerves off. He keeps saying he doesn’t know anyone but Tomura, yet he called Dabi by name earlier and looks at him familiarly. None of this adds up.

By now, you’re absolutely certain he’s the reason Eri wasn’t safe to join you all today, not the giant you encountered earlier. Tomura hands off the vial of blood along with the bullets for research. When asked, fortunately, he says he doesn’t have access to more without elaborating. The doctor eyes him skeptically, but moves past it.

Before you know it, it’s time to leave again and you’re all given communication devices and dropped right back where you started in the same nauseating sludge as before.

Tomura steps forward to fight the oversized man you now know as ‘Gigantomachia’ as soon as his feet hit the ground.

After a little over two solid days of fighting Gigantomachia, the giant finally stopped to sleep. It’s been difficult for all of you, but mostly for Tomura. He lets everyone jump in and help but he’s the only one Machia cares much about. For obvious reasons, he can’t use decay so it’s been hand to hand combat against someone considerably larger and that’s taken everything out of him. Everyone else went home to sleep but you stayed with Tomura for the night. With the time you have, the two of you found a nice spot on some cliffs overlooking the forest. You’ll have a good vantage point and see Machia coming in the morning. Both of you are beginning to doze off on your sleeping mats while you watch the sun setting.

“So, a few days ago. That's the plan, huh?” you ask, “level it all?”

“Hero society can't be an issue if there's nothing left of it,” he says, fidgeting with a rock. A few minutes later he asks, “how would you do it?”

“How would I destroy hero society? That's a pretty big question.”

“I'm sure you have some thoughts.”

You stare out at the expanse of trees ahead. Mostly green but yellows and reds begin to pop up in clusters here and there with the season. The low sun spreads a fiery tinge over everything. You’d probably find it ominous if you weren’t so tired.

Yawning, you continue. “Maybe I'm biased, with my quirk and everything, but I think I’d want to prevent it from ever being needed in the first place.”

“Hmmm,” he says quietly, before drifting into his thoughts.

His eyes close and the warm light washes over him. It’s beautiful. He’s beautiful, in his own way. Moments like this make you wish you could bottle them and keep them forever.

“They're similar, our ideas. Mine just prevents any of that from being needed by getting rid of everything related to it. No more society means no heroes.”

“Yeah, but people will rebuild. They always do. Somehow.”

“Huh,” he considers, “so how else would you prevent it?”

“I don't know, that might take more than 30 seconds of thinking to figure out.”

You close your eyes to sleep, but your mind is still racing. Nothing you think up right now will be of any use but if you’re just conceptualizing anyways, you might as well keep talking.

“I guess making people care enough to not sit around waiting for someone else to fix it. I’m sure a lot of people want to help, but they don’t know how to. Just because a lot of heroes get into it for the wrong reasons doesn’t mean other well meaning people aren’t out there.”

“I don’t trust that,” he mumbles, half asleep. “I don’t think people care. They’re just content to say a hero will come along because they can.”

“We care. And we can’t be the only ones. There have to be more people like us, somewhere. The only difference is we know that waiting for someone else to fix it isn't an option.”

The sun settles below the horizon and the forest is still. It’s chilly, but everything feels at peace.

It can’t have been more than three hours and the crashing of trees echoes through the hills.

“You’re fucking kidding me,” Tomura mumbles, rolling over and pulling the blanket over his head. Hoping for just one more moment of sleep but it’s no use. Gigantomachia has already spotted your location on the cliff and is making his way over.

Tomura groans then stands to face him, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. It’ll be another long day.

The past two days have felt like a week already. After reinforcement showed up, you went back to the hideout to rest for the first time since this started and you ended up sleeping for fourteen hours straight. You woke up to Eri and Toga staring down at you, with Toga poking you because they thought you were dead. They discovered very quickly that you were not in fact dead, just sleeping and very startled by their presence. Given that it was the middle of the night (rest in peace any semblance of a sleeping schedule you ever had), you tucked Eri into bed and made yourself something to eat before heading out again.

Food has been more plentiful lately, with the doctor’s financial support. It’s been nice. Everyone seems to be doing at least a bit better after a few warm meals and you feel less guilty now than when you were feeding Eri whatever convenience store junk Compress managed to steal.

The next day was rough on Tomura. You brought him some food while you and Spinner tried to distract Machia, but he didn’t manage to eat much of it. His face is already split open in a few places, blood staining his clothes as well. The two of you spent the day helping where you could, but eventually had to call it when Compress and Twice arrived. Wishing you could do more, you left to get more supplies and rest a bit.

Even if you’ve spent huge chunks of time with Tomura this week, you miss the closeness of him. For the past month, you’ve been sneaking out more nights than not to make out. Seeing him in front of you, there are things you want to say. Do. He’s so close you could just reach out and touch him sometimes but the most you’ve managed has been an accidental hand brush that he immediately recoiled from. Now that he’s busy, you can only assume he’s moving on and doesn’t need you as a distraction. It hurts but you’re trying to accept that it is what it is because you know he still needs your help. You're trying not to let it get to you, thinking of anything else instead.

Today, it’s just you hiking out with supplies. Spinner is nursing a mild injury so he's spending the day playing Animal Crossing with Eri. Toga and Twice are asleep and Compress is already out in the midst of the fight. You had been doing great at keeping your feelings tucked away, but with the two hour hike, you find yourself crying uncontrollably. The tears pour so heavily that you need to stop, sitting on a log while you try to calm down from it all.

It's hard. The nights you spent with Tomura felt closer to love for you and, in retrospect, seemed more like stress relief for him. You wanted more than that. You still do. Every time you thought to ask, everything seemed so perfect at the time that you didn't want to ruin it. Happy to carry on, just assuming he felt similarly until the day came when that rift in intentions grew and forced you apart. Even if you had asked, it wouldn't have mattered. A life of villainy doesn't lend itself to cute dates. It's exactly like he said: you make him wish his life was different.

But you alone can't change that this is the life he has. The life that you have. He already knew this going into it.

There are ways you know him and ways you don't. You know how he takes his coffee because you lived together. You know what keeps him up at night, what haunts his dreams. At this point, you can even predict every itch he's about to scratch after months of watching the way his body moves to avoid it before giving in. While you've never seen him naked, you've felt enough that you have a pretty good idea of what that would be like too. You know every intimate detail about him and care so deeply for every tiny piece of his life with a tenderness that should never have existed in either of your lives. But you don't know everything.

You don't know what his perfect date would be or where you would go. You don't know what it would be like to share a bed with him. What it would be like for him to be the first thing you see in the morning and the last before you close your eyes to sleep. If you'd wake up in his arms or on your own sides with only your toes touching. You don't know what mindless show he'd put on in the background while the two of you cuddle up on the couch at the end of a long day, too tired to pay attention. Admittedly, these are questions you couldn't even answer about yourself at this point. That was never meant to be your life.

And now, sitting on a damp log deep in the forest, you find yourself heartbroken over a future that never existed for you.

It doesn't feel better, but eventually the tears dry and the blurriness clears enough to continue walking. You press on, knowing that regardless of your feelings, he still needs your help.

By the time you arrive at the location Tomura dropped to you earlier, your eyes still feel puffy but you hope the redness has gone down. He doesn’t say anything, dropping to sit on a rock. He takes the hand off his face and sets it to his side, looking exhausted.

“The beast is down for the night so I will be taking my leave,” Compress announces, bowing to you as he wanders back down the trail you just came from. You throw him an extra water bottle for the walk home.

From your bag, you pull out a thermos of soup and hand it to Tomura before digging for a first aid kit. He begins drinking the soup while you do what you can to clean his wounds. Some are pretty deep and probably need stitches, but you don’t have the supplies on you so butterfly bandages will have to do.

“I didn't forget,” he says quietly while you work to scrub some of the dirt from his forehead.

“Hmm?”

“I know what day it is, I saw it on my phone earlier,” you smile at him, but still have no clue how October 27th is important. He continues, “I wanted to do more or say more or something. I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do, not with everything right now.”

“You don’t have to do anything,” you reassure him, “just hold still enough for me to pull this cut together.” You concentrate on placing the last bandage, “done.”

He smiles, setting down the empty thermos and curling up on your lap. You savor the closeness, wondering if your breakdown earlier was more stress than reality based. You try to remind yourself that this is what got you into this mess in the first place - nothing ever feels wrong when he's around.

Sleepy Tomura is sweeter than usual.

“I don’t know how I ended up with you,” he mumbles as he drifts off, “but I’m glad you’re here. You put up with being with me for a month.”

“A month? Is that–” when you look down, he’s already asleep. His breathing deepens as his chest raises and lowers slowly. His hands are curled into fists with a few fingers tucked under his jacket. Tiny cuts litter his face between the larger ones. You note the color around his eye that’s sure to darken over the next few days, but right now he looks so peaceful for what he’s been through.

Swapping the empty thermos for a blanket, you wrap it around him. Then you move your backpack behind you to lay back on. Your hand finds his hair, trying to untangle some of the knots without waking him.

The sky is beginning to darken, from purple to a dark blue. One by one the stars come into focus and you stare up at them thinking about everything he just said. All the worrying, seemingly over nothing. It doesn’t matter now, you let it slip away. This whole time he just assumed you were dating without questioning it. There are still things you don't know, and may never know, about him. You could fall into a massive hole of wishing your life was different, but you're done letting yourself feel that way. Sure, you may never know what movies he wants to watch as he slips off to sleep in the comfort of an apartment, but other couples will never know what this is like. Comforting him under the night sky after he spent three days fighting a giant without his quirk. It's the relationship you have in the life you can have it in.

Sleeping on a rock can’t be the most comfortable, but Tomura doesn’t seem to mind. He looks so sweet curled up with his head on your lap. You lightly move the hair from his face, knowing in a couple of hours you’ll be distracting Machia for as long as you can to give him a few more minutes of rest.

|\/\/\| a month and a half later |/\/\/|

You were just waking up when you got the call from Spinner.

Flashes of chaos plagued your dreams, forcing you awake. You practically jumped on your phone when it vibrated near you. They were already on their way into town and being given a tour before all hell broke loose. What town and why a tour were your first questions, but he only shared his location with you and hung up.

Not knowing how long you’ll be gone or when anyone will be returning, you tentatively begin getting Eri ready to leave. Along with you, she grabs her jacket, puts on her shoes, and your quirk hasn’t so much as flickered. You decide it’s probably safe but set some expectations just in case. You give her the rules of “don’t touch anything, don’t talk to anyone, and stay behind me the entire time we’re there.” She nods in agreement.

“I almost forgot!” she exclaims, running back to her room and returning with her new gloves. They were Tomura’s idea. Since she hasn’t mastered controlling her quirk yet she needed some way to keep everyone around her safe from the effects of it.

After packing a few snacks and some water for you both, you’re out the door. Gripping Eri’s hand tightly, you pull her along with you until stopping to throw her on your back. The weight of her prevents you from rushing, which is good. It gives you time to think. To actually look at the flickers of premonitions flashing before you. Not many of the league members are making impromptu changes, everyone is mostly acting exactly how they typically would so you don’t see much. Part of you wishes you would have paid closer attention to the dreams. It wouldn’t make a difference though, no one is answering their phones or even reading their texts right now.

You worry about Tomura. The last time you saw him, he looked absolutely exhausted. At some point, you saw him staring at a tree and tipping his head like it was moving. In that state, it’ll be hard for him to keep up with anything. Of course you’re concerned about the others too, but you at least know they’ve slept more than three hours this week.

After a bit, it occurs to you that Eri will probably sense your anxiety if you don’t say something. Coming up with an idea on the spot, you start a game of ‘I Spy’ that lasts until you reach the border of the city. The two of you find trees, radio towers, and oddly colored rocks while giggling the whole way. You tell yourself it’s for her sake, but can’t deny how much the distraction helps you too.

The city is already in ruins when you approach. As the dot on your map grows closer, you survey the wreckage. Most of it has Tomura written all over it. Every building in the row you’re walking through is upended. What was once a street lays in crumbles beneath your feet. For once in your life, this doesn’t calm you – you still need to know how your friends fared in all of it.

“Remember our rules,” you say to Eri over your shoulder as you approach a group of people in an area that’s been leveled to the ground. From the crater ahead, a large man is being taken away on a stretcher. His legs are bloodied stumps under his tattered pants. You wonder what happened.

When you see a group of familiar faces, Eri jumps down to run up to Spinner and Compress. They’re a bit beat up, but not too bad. Tomura’s another story. His face is caked in blood and you fear that it’s his own. Wisps of his now white (????) hair stick to his forehead in clumps. One of his hands is badly bruised up to his wrist with his fingers – you feel sick knowing how much pain he's probably in.

Seeing him on the ground like this, Eri rushes to his side while pulling off her gloves. You do the same, making it as far as brushing the hair out of his face before he shakes his head.

Weakly, he replies, “no. Don’t touch me. None of you, especially the kid.”

Spinner pulls her away and you overhear him telling her it’s not personal, something about him not knowing the reach of his quirk right now.

It seems you missed a lot during your nap earlier.

“He was upright a few minutes ago, I think this is more exhaustion than injuries.” Compress says to you, “we should still get him medical attention before the shock wears off. He took a lot of damage.”

“Medical attention? With what money? And where can he even go without being arrested as soon as he walks, er is brought through the door?” you ask.

“None of that is a concern anymore,” you turn to find Dabi smiling behind you.

next - a new end masterlist - bnha masterlist

Taglist: @tomuratoucher @aryuunachigiri @shigarakislaughter @foxyboy0 @multifandomidk

@cryptidfuckerofficial @minniessskii @vaval3ntin @ykyouluvme @lou-the-naga-queen

@dummi666 @lotus-flower420 @nonominchan @softnfuzzy @mysticalhills

@reireitaka @crwavee @baby-pink-flowers @drlucichen @frieren-imposter

@kitkat13001 @kennys-partner @amira-44820 @its-evee16

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maximoffcarter · 1 year ago

Text

It'll be okay.

Pairings: Emily Prentiss x reader.

Warnings: Mentions of COVID.

Summary: Emily Prentiss was known to always taking care of her team, taking full responsibility of everything, taking the blame, making sure they were okay, etc. But, it was true that she never let anyone know the hard time she was having, that was until y/n entered her life.

A/n: This was requested by anon, and gotta say I dunno if this is even good but I wrote what I felt was right. It’s angst with comfort and fluff😌 I added some backstory cause why nooooot? I mostly based this on the first episode, and maybe after the season ends, I'll do a better one, but I believe this was good enough for now haha. Our baby really does need some comfort and a goddamn break🥹 I also did not proof read this, I never do until it's too late haha, so my apologies. Hope you guys enjoy this, leave comments, hearts, whatever you like and reblog so this gets some love🫶🏻

*not my gif*

COVID had definitely taken a toll on the BAU, not only had the world stopped but a lot of things had happened then. People died, people left, the world entirely changed, and there was no stopping, no one could actually stop it. Emily Prentiss had tried to make it work, to make things a little easier as she tried to focus on her job every single day, drowning in paperwork, zoom meetings, not being able to freely do what they were so used on doing, it had been a hard year. Not only that, but the fact that her breakup had been so messy, but that was the least of all the other things she was going through. Emily thought it couldn’t have gone worse, but then y/n was very present in her life. It was funny the day where it all had gone down.

It was the end of the most painful and difficult year, 2021 was about to arrive, just a week for the so awaited new year. And it so happened that on Christmas day, Emily had gotten COVID. She was in complete denial of being sick, more so because she needed to work, and she also had nothing to help her with the undeniable symptoms; the unbearable headache and body ache, the obvious fever, the terrible cold that her body felt, the stupid and annoying coughing and the stupid stuffed nose. Yes, there was no denial she was sick, but of course she wouldn’t admit how bad it was. But that didn’t stop y/n from going into action and deciding to go to Emily. Emily had been on the phone with her a few hours earlier, and when y/n noticed how bad this had gotten, she couldn’t stop herself from getting everything she needed and off to Emily’s house she was.

“What…on earth are you doing h-here.” Emily was interrupted with a cough, her hand soon landing on her chest as she felt the horrible pain as she coughed.

“I’m here to take care of you. Go to the living room, need to keep our distance.” Y/n said softly as she adjusted her face mask, getting a bottle of spray out.

Emily furrowed her brows but went ahead to the living room, soon enough grabbing a face mask and turning back to look at y/n. “I’m fine, you don’t have to stay here.”

“Oh, but I do. We’re close to get the vaccine, I cannot have you stopping at the hospital just because you were too stubborn to accept that you’re really sick.” Y/n sprayed the whole area where Emily had just been, and then turned to look at her with a raised brow. “Okay, here’s what we’ll do. You stay in your room, I’ll sleep on the couch, you can only use your room and bathroom. I’ll be bringing you food and medication, already talked to a doctor. If we don’t see any progress, we’ll have to go to the hospital, which I hope, you’ll cooperate, Prentiss.”

Emily just stared at her, a bit surprised on how y/n had become so bossy, but she also couldn’t blame her, knowing perfectly well that she’d probably die on her own. “Got it. I will.”

Y/n nodded. “Good, now I’ll go disinfect your room first. You stay here while I do that, no touching anything anymore. Though, I will clean here too.”

Emily couldn’t help the small smile that spread through her face as she nodded, thankful that the face mask was covering it. “Got it boss.”

Y/n grinned softly as she nodded. “Good, I’ll be right back. Bed stuff?”

“Closet, second drawer, and the blankets are on top.”

Emily would be lying if she said she wasn’t happy to have y/n here. Ever since y/n joined the team, somehow, they had become inseparable, even if she tried to get her to work with the whole team, before she even thought about it, she was already saying that y/n would go with her, and of course, that didn’t go unnoticed by Tara, JJ and Penelope, but they never mentioned anything, even more when Emily ended up with a boyfriend. That of course till this day, Emily thought so much about how she had forced herself to actually like someone just so she wouldn’t feel so alone. But the one person she had actually wanted…had been y/n. And now having her here, willing to take care of her even if she knew there was a risk that she could get sick, it was everything for Emily.

Emily slowly opened her eyes as she heard her door opening. She looked up and smiled softly as she noticed y/n walking in with a tray of food. “Hey. Did I sleep a lot?”

Y/n looked at Emily and smiled, carefully putting the tray of food on the nightstand. “For like an hour and a half. It’s good that you’re sleeping.” She grabbed the thermometer and placed it on Emily’s forehead. She sighed relieved and offered a small smile. “It’s coming down, finally.”

Emily smiled. “And the headache is not as bad.”

“No, Prentiss. I will not leave, it’s good you’re getting better but no way I’m leaving in the next few days.” Y/n raised her brow as she placed back the thermometer in its place.

“I was not going to say anything about that.” Emily chuckled softly. “Just…thank you.” She smiled softly as she sat on her bed.

Y/n nodded softly. “You welcome.” She smiled as she looked at Emily. “So…I ordered some groceries for tomorrow, we’ll have our own Christmas celebration.”

Emily’s heart stopped for a moment, her eyes widening. “Oh my…tomorrow is Christmas! Y/n, you shouldn’t be here. I’m sure you have-“

“Ah, stop.” Y/n grinned softly. “I have nothing to do, and I wouldn’t want to spend my Christmas any differently. What better way to celebrate it than with a sick Emily Prentiss? Such a great gift.” She chuckled softly as she grabbed the tray and placed it on Emily’s legs.

Emily’s heart swelled as she stared at y/n, a small smile on her face. “If you say so.”

“I do say so.” Y/n smiled softly. “Eat that, I’ll bring your medication.”

Emily watched her leave and her smile widened even more. All these years, she had been taking care of herself, not letting anyone in because she knew how that’d end up. She had never liked to be taken care of, but she loved to make sure that her loved ones were always good taken care of. So now, y/n doing all of this…it made her realize that maybe, just maybe…she did feel the same way.

********************

Emily groaned softly as she stretched, slowly opening her eyes to the sound of a groan and then a small whisper. As she looked up, rubbing the sleep away from her eyes, she furrowed her brows as she noticed y/n moving a small table and placing it in the middle of the door. She tilted her head in curiosity as a small, silly smile spread across her face. “What are you doing?”

Y/n looked up at Emily and smiled, her cheeks turning slightly red. “Oh uh…moving a table?”

“And…leaving it right in the middle of the door?” Emily raised her brow.

“Okay don’t laugh but…I thought this could be a way for us to have Christmas lunch together.”

Emily’s face softened as she stared at her, her cheeks turning red and not for the fever. She grinned softly. “Charming.”

“I tend to be.” Y/n grinned softly. “Grab your chair and I’ll bring the food.”

Emily smiled softly and did just as she was told, grabbing the chair that was just might the closet and sitting down in front of the table. She smiled softly as y/n came back with a chair for herself and started brought Emily her plate already with food and her drink. They ate together and right after they talked about everything but work, laughing as they told old stories about themselves and even some stories with the team. Y/n was fascinated just listening to Emily talk, loving that she had chosen the idea of spending Christmas with her, and that Emily had allowed her to take care of her. As for Emily, even if she was tired, she was enjoying every moment she was spending with y/n. As she watched her talk, she kept wondering in her mind if she was right or she was wrong about her suspicions, smiling softly without even noticing.

Y/n furrowed her brows and tilted her head as she stared at Emily. “What?” She hugged a chuckle.

“What?” Emily snapped out of her trance. “Oh! No, nothing. I’m sorry.”

Y/n chuckled. “You should get back to bed and sleep, I’ll clean up and wake you up for your pills.”

“Wait!” Emily coughed, grabbing her glass of water, and taking a deep breath afterwards. “I uh…have a question.”

“Yes?”

Emily took a deep breath, feeling her body still pretty much aching and getting all warm. “Why are you doing this?”

Y/n furrowed her brows again. “I…because I didn’t want you to be alone, Em.”

“Is that the only reason?” Emily raised her brow, a small smile on her face.

Y/n tilted her head as she smiled shyly, looking down at her glass. “Well…I don’t wanna get fired after what I have to say.”

“Which is?”

“You’re a profiler, Em. Isn’t it obvious?” Y/n blushed slightly as she looked back at her. “I…care a lot about you. Which means…that I like you…a lot.” She whispered softly as she nibbled on her lip.

Emily smiled softly as she nodded, tilting her head. “And you’re also a profiler, y/n. Isn’t it obvious?”

Y/n’s eyes widened slightly as she stared at Emily. “Wait…are you serious?”

“If I wasn’t sick and this table wasn’t in the middle of us, I’d be kissing you right now.” Emily smirked softly.

Y/n’s lips parted slightly as she stared at Emily, a soft smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “Is the fever making you talk?”

Emily laughed softly, coughing afterwards, and placing her hand on her chest. “No, no…I’m…I’m serious.” She smiled.

“We’re gonna check back once you’re not sick.” Y/n grinned. “But for now…this could be considered our first date.”

“And I’d like to take you in a second date…next year.” Emily joking as she grinned.

Y/n rolled her eyes playfully. “You’re so funny, Prentiss. But I accept.” She smiled softly.

Emily laughed softly as she nodded, feeling her heart beating faster as y/n kept staring at her with that beautiful smile on her face. After all, there was something good out of this pandemic.

********************

It wasn’t new that y/n saw Emily drowning in work, not after all the changed that the BAU had over the years. Having JJ back had at least eased things, but Rossi losing his wife, not having Penelope around, a whole new case that fell into their lap, Bailey not helping at all, Emily was losing her mind. But once she had most of her team back, including Penelope, things didn’t seem to be so bad…until they were, again. Y/n always had her eyes on Emily, the entire time, they both had promised that their relationship wouldn’t interfere with work, it wouldn’t change the way they worked, and it also wouldn’t stop them, meaning that things would stay just like they were before. Of course, the team was now aware of their relationship, and they were happy that at least, there was something to look forward to -Penelope joking that she was already planning the wedding…they believed she was joking-.

But once the whole ‘Gold Star’ started, y/n noticed how Emily just kept getting home late, trying to drown herself in work and compensate for what had happened. She had tried her best to be there for her and let Emily know that it had not been her fault, and that she had done what she and the team had thought was right. Emily tried to hide everything that she was feeling to not let y/n and the team figure out that she was having a hard time, but y/n knew better, she could now see through Emily, but she also knew not to push her. Even if it killed her to know that Emily was having a hard time.

“Hey, so where’s Emily? Thought she’d be here.” JJ snapped y/n out of her trance, making her look up at her while JJ offered a small smile.

“Oh…she had uh…she had something to do.” Y/n tried her best to smile but they knew better.

“Work, huh? She feels…guilty about Bailey?” Tara asked as she turned to look at y/n.

Y/n sighed softly as she nodded. “I don’t know what to do.”

“We know Emily. There’s not much we can do if she doesn’t want to talk.” Tara said softly as she placed her hand on y/n’s shoulder.

“But I’m her girlfriend. I mean…I should at least…I don’t know. Try harder?” Y/n shrugged. “I just want Emily to know that I’m here…”

JJ sighed softly. “Well, I’m sure she knows, she’s just…trying to deal with her stuff.”

Y/n nodded softly as she looked back at JJ, smiling softly. She felt her phone vibrating and got it out of her pocket, furrowing her brows as she saw Emily’s text. Soon enough she was saying goodbye to everyone and then heading back to the office. It felt a little weird to be here so late, the whole office was silent and almost dark, Emily’s office was the only one that had its light on. Y/n took a deep breath as she noticed Emily walking around her office and then stopping by the window. She wanted to support her in every possible way, but she was also afraid that Emily was overworking herself and that didn’t sit right with her. She slowly walked to Emily’s office and leaned against the doorframe, trying her best to smile as Emily turned to look at her.

“Hey you.” Y/n smiled softly.

Emily offered a smile in return. “I’m sorry I made you leave Penelope’s birthday.”

“I was going to anyway.” Y/n shrugged. “What’s going on?”

Emily sighed softly. “We need to talk.”

Y/n felt her heart drop for a moment as she stared at Emily. She could only nod, not trusting her voice as she felt her body slightly trembling as she waited for Emily to say anything at all, but instead, she walked to y/n, grabbed her hand, and kissed it softly, offering a smile as she pulled y/n with her. Soon enough, they were on the ceiling, Emily had sat down and had pulled out a box of cigarettes, catching y/n off guard for a moment, but also keeping in mind how incredibly hot it was to see her smoke. Seriously, y/n…not the time. She crossed her arms and listened to everything Emily had to say, and again, she felt helpless as she listened to Emily, wanting nothing more than to be able to fix all this with a snap of her finger and be able to take Emily anywhere so she could relax.

“Well, you’ve been doing your homework.” Y/n teased as she walked closer to Emily and grabbed the cigarette putting it in her mouth before she returned it to Emily.

Emily scoffed. “Well…we need to get to the end of this.”

Y/n nodded, sighing softly, and looked away for a moment. “So…you think he’s government trained or something?”

“He’s definitely too proficient to be self-taught.”

“And that’s why they’re keeping it a secret.” Y/n tilted her head as she looked back at Emily. “I know that you’ve been overprotective after what happened…but we need to let the team know about this. You know that working together, we’ll get it done.”

Emily sighed softly as she nodded. “I know.” She nibbled on her lip for a moment as she looked at y/n. “Baby…I need you to promise me that whatever we do here, I need you to be safe. We see what he does…what has happened so far. I cannot…” her voice cracked for a moment, looking down at the floor as she put back the cigarette in her mouth.

Y/n sighed softly as she walked to Emily, positioning herself in between her legs and placing her hands on her cheeks, tilting her head up so their eyes locked. “I will promise you that if you promise me the same.” She smiled softly. “Em, I need you to take a break too. You’ve barely been home, you’ve barely been sleeping. I will make the promise if you promise me you’ll also take care of yourself.”

Emily took a deep breath, moving her free hand to y/n’s hips, offering a small smile. “Alright. I will.”

Y/n smiled softly as she leaned down to kiss Emily’s forehead. “You’re stubborn, Prentiss. If I don’t take care of you, you won’t.”

“That’s why I have you. Couldn’t have it any other way.” Emily chuckled softly, leaning up slightly to kiss her lips while she put out the cigarette.

Y/n smiled against her lips. “I know I should be forbidding you from smoking but…did you know you look extremely hot smoking?”

Emily chuckled softly as she wrapped her arms around her waist, pulling her closer. “No but thank you.” She grinned.

Y/n rolled her eyes playfully and then leaned down to kiss her lips again. “Let’s go call Garcia.”

********************

Y/n could only stare at Emily while everyone else talking, giving their thoughts about the video they had just watched. she couldn’t really concentrate on what they were even talking about, part of her was trying to comprehend everything, work with them, say anything at all, but her mind was entirely focused on Emily. The moment Rossi and Emily had walked into the office, she could tell that there was something wrong with Emily; the way she stared at them, the way she talked, her eyes seemed…lost. She tried to keep up with everything, every now and then feeling JJ’s eyes on her, even Tara’s, but her eyes were only focused on Emily.

“Em?” Y/n asked softly as they all left the room, walking to Emily and taking her hand. “Are you alright?”

Emily looked back at her and furrowed her brows. “Yes. Why are you asking?”

Y/n tilted her head slightly as she raised her brow. “That was not nothing. What you and Rossi saw…and you…you don’t look okay.”

Emily shrugged. “It’s part of the job, isn’t it?”

Y/n sighed softly. “Emily, I-“

“Right now, we need to focus on this case. We might have something important here. I know I promised, but we also promised we wouldn’t change the way we work here. Right now, we’re at work, and we need to focus on that.” Emily said softly but firmly, not wanting to sound rude or harsh, but the way she looked at y/n, with stress and frustration, made y/n’s insides turn.

Y/n nodded softly as she let go of Emily’s hand. “Right.”

Emily only nodded before she left, leaving y/n standing there, not knowing what to do or say. She knew working together wouldn’t be the easiest thing ever, but she couldn’t help it, and Emily couldn’t blame her for worrying. Y/n had stayed behind with JJ at the office, she had tried to brush it off and focus on their main task. But again, once they came back, y/n noticed it again, she noticed the way Emily rubbed her temple and went straight to her office. She didn’t say anything, she stayed with JJ as she let Emily have a minute. She was right, they had made it clear things wouldn’t change, and so far, it had worked out, and she was not about to stress Emily more.

********************

Y/n closed the door behind her and sighed softly as she locked it, standing there staring at it as she took a deep breath before she turned to walk to their room. Emily was already sitting on the bed, taking off her shoes. Y/n said nothing, walking to the bed and also sitting down and doing the same as Emily. Silence surrounded them for a moment for a while, y/n knew it was stupid that Emily’s words had hit her the way they did, but she couldn’t help it, she knew that if it was the other way around, Emily wouldn’t drop it until y/n accepted that Emily was right, but in this case, which was not even an option.

But then she heard a soft groan coming from Emily, and as she turned, she noticed Emily’s head in her hands, and y/n was back to feeling worried. She stood up slowly and walked around the bed, kneeling right in front of Emily, and positioning herself in between her legs, her hands on top of Emily’s as she leaned her head against Emily’s.

“Em…” Y/n whispered softly.

“I’m exhausted.” Emily breathed out, her voice cracking slightly. “I don’t know what’s going on, nothing seems right, everything seems to be against us, to be against me. It’s like they want me to resign so badly, they want…they want the BAU to disappear. I don’t know what they want from me, I cannot just drop this, not after everything we’ve been through.” She said quietly as she felt her eyes getting teary, not being able to look up at y/n. “They’re making us get involved with a fucking serial killer. What has gotten into their minds?! What are they hiding?!”

Y/n wrapped her arms around her, only being able to hold Emily tightly as she started sobbing. Emily knew that she was overworking herself, that she was doing too much, she was obsessing too much, but there was no chance to back down, she couldn’t just let it happen, she couldn’t let them win. But she felt so…heavy. Everything hurt, her head felt like exploding, her chest felt heavy, she had felt the usual anxiety creep in her body, she felt worse than she had years ago. She sobbed quietly as she felt y/n tightening her embrace, Emily suddenly wrapping her arms around y/n’s neck, feeling bad for the weird position they were in, but needing y/n to hold her so badly, she’d worry about the position later.

“I can’t just drop this.” Emily whispered as she buried her face on y/n’s neck, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“I know. And we won’t drop it. I’ll be by your side.” Y/n whispered softly.

“I’m sorry I’m so stubborn…”

Y/n shook her head, smiling softly as she turned to kiss the side of her head. “But you’re mine. You can be as stubborn as you want.”

Emily chuckled softly as she pulled away, looking into y/n’s eyes. “I’m sorry that I’ve been drowning myself in this case.”

Y/n sighed softly. “I don’t blame you, Emily.” She rubbed Emily’s back softly as she leaned in and kissed her forehead. “I just don’t want you falling sick for so much stress. I don’t want you to get stuck in this to the point where you can’t notice that you’re putting everything and you’re putting yourself in danger.” She said softly as she looked into Emily’s eyes. “I’m just worried about you.”

Emily nodded as she let out a shaky breath. “I know. I won’t keep anything else from you, I promise. And…I’ll come to you when it’s too much.”

Y/n nodded as she smiled. “Em…baby, look at me.” She ran her fingers through her hair as Emily locked her eyes on hers. “I’m here for you, no matter what. The good and the bad, you’re not a burden to me, okay? I love you. And you’re not alone.”

Emily’s eyes filled with tears as her face softened, her body slightly trembling as she finally gave up and let tiredness take over her. She took a deep shaky breath, nodding her head as more tears rolled down her cheeks. Y/n rapidly wrapped her into another tight hug, letting Emily bury her face on her neck and sob as much as she needed. They stayed like that for a while, y/n rubbing her back and whispering sweet nothings while Emily cried. It was becoming too much, and Emily knew this wasn’t even the half of it and there was so much more to come, but for now, for now she had y/n, she was present in this moment. Y/n gave her the space to break and make her feel like she deserved to have this sort of moment even if they still made her feel weak, but she knew her lover would never judge her, not like she had been judged before. After a moment, she finally felt like she had gotten everything out, slowly moving back but resting her forehead against y/n’s, not wanting to be away.

“Thank you…” Emily whispered softly.

“Why are you thanking me?”

“Because you always take care of me even if you don’t have to.” Emily smiled through her tears.

Y/n smiled softly pulling away just enough to wipe her tears and stroke her cheek. “And I’ll be here to do it over and over again. If I risked my life with COVID, why not now?” She grinned a little.

Emily rolled her eyes playfully. “Well, it kept you in my apartment for a whole month. Not my fault you were so eager to kiss me.” She teased back.

Y/n gasped softly. “In my defense, you were supposed to be out of risk, and also, I couldn’t help it when I had you right in front of me. We had become girlfriends, and I hadn’t even kissed you yet.”

“That’s true.” Emily chuckled softly as she leaned in and kissed her forehead. “And I got to take care of you.”

Y/n nodded. “We’ve got each other’s back. You take care of me, and I take care of you.” She smiled softly.

Emily smiled and nodded softly. “Yes.” She rested her forehead against y/n’s once again. “I love you.”

“And I love you.” Y/n smiled softly and sighed softly as she closed her eyes for a moment. After a while, she moved to kiss Emily’s nose and offer another smile. “C’mon, let’s take a bath together. I’ll bring some wine and snacks.”

Emily smiled softly and nodded. “Sounds like a plan.”

Y/n nodded before she got up, but as she was about to leave, Emily pulled her back to her, making her turn back to Emily who was now standing. “Yes?”

Emily smiled softly as she shook her head. “Nothing.” She placed her hand on y/n’s neck and brought their lips together into a tender kiss. “I love you.” She whispered softly against her lips.

Y/n giggled. “I love you too.” She whispered back and kissed her lips one more time before she walked out of the room.

Emily knew there was still a very long way, she had no idea what they were getting into, a lot of stress was coming their way, but she knew that as soon as she walked into their house, she’d be able to leave that stress behind at least for a while. This little bubble they had created for themselves was everything to Emily, and what got her to keep going. And that was all she needed.

#emily prentiss #emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss x female reader #emily prentiss fanfiction #criminal minds fic #criminal minds #criminal minds evolution

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the-box-of-mine · 5 months ago

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Melinda and demetrius: splitting and dissociation (part 2)

I was talking in the first part here about Melinda and her splitting episodes. In this part I will talk about the oldest son demetrius.

There's no lie in the fact his appearance was surprising, but also everyone knew that he didn't seem right.

But also he's very mysterious and understanding him is quite a challenge with the very little context we have of him. So let's dive into his character a little.

The unfocused look, very intimidating look, and eyebags under his eyes. Hell yeah, he got freaking 6 stellas and didn't even seem happy about it. He just looked very tired and just wanted to go to rest.

Damian and the rest of the gang approached him, and damian went to congratulate him of his achievement. But it seems that Demetrius looked very intimidating to him so he started to stutter. Demetrius took the lead of the conversation and asked him about his Stella (which indicates that Demetrius is actually looking at the progress Damian does academically, which is the most important aspect of demetrius's life). Normally when asked this type of question, it's normal to say "yeah how did you know?" "Yeah what do you think?". But not damian (my little child seems to struggle)😭, he instantly jumped into "how do you think father would think?" ,which is wrong in different aspects, firstly demetrius is the one who asked about his academics, so it felt very disrespectful to do that. Secondly , knowing how Damian gets annoyed with the girls in his class asking constantly about his father (and he's the second son with less remarkable achievements), I'm sure that Demetrius himself has even worse share in this experience, he doesn't even seem to have friends because he feels in different league, and people either intimidated by him or try to use him to get to his father. Lastly, it's their second time talking to each other in school, and damian still asked him in the same matter (about their father) which really gives an impression that he has nothing to ask about but this. But of course Damian didn't mean that, he's a little child who is trying to reach his family, Demetrius himself seems to have also problems with reaching out to others.

But even then he didn't get mad, even in his mind, he didn't get annoyed at damian, he just swayed away keeping his boundaries without any addition, something that neither Melinda nor Donovan did (imo he still got judged wildly). With one struggling with her emotions and splitting episodes, and deadbeat neglectful dad. Which made me believe that he is the one who has higher chances with having a stable relationship with damian. I talked more about this here but to summarise, demetrius is quite surprisingly patient with damian at most times. Considering their parents and his age too.

Now into his interesting mind, in chapter 93, anya tried reading his mind but got nothing at first, and the things she got was he (I don't understand) questions.

This hit very different seeing chapter 110, when Melinda said Donovan can read mind and even demetrius had been saying that.

A lot of people drew to the conclusion that Demetrius has this habit of blocking his mind since he knew his father can read mind, he restricted himself to not have any thoughts at all, which is very painful to think about, making your child anxious to this point is really a new low truly, donovan.

There had been questions about how this is even achievable, a state of blanked mind of barely any thoughts, Mr green talked a little about it when he was with damian and his friends. But let me explain this more.

What is demetrius doing is very similar to something called "dissociation", it's a state of complete stillness of thoughts, flowing through the stress, you can say it's like putting your mind in an autopilot mode. It's a coping mechanism many people do in response to stress and trauma, and its severity changes from one person to another.

Now it seems very peaceful coping mechanism, but it's a hell itself, it's like getting into a deep hole with, the more you get deeper, the more difficult it's to get out of it. The more time you spend doing it, the more it's hard to keep up with your life and tasks.

I'm pretty sure that if Demetrius had been doing it from a very young age, it means he definitely is having difficulty in keeping his thoughts flowing, and that he is not voluntary and completely controls his mind.

Now, what could happen if someone is dissociating excessively? It leads to many mental disorders and problems. The most insightful of them are (dissociative disorders). The three main disorders are (ranked with severity from lower to higher)

1-Depersonalization/ derealization disorder.

2-dissociative amnesia.

3- dissociative identity disorder (aka called multiple personality disorder in the past but the medical term changed)

Now I'm very sure with the amount of excessive dissociation demetrius expressed (and even indicate he started doing it very early). I'm sure he has derealization disorder, he's very out of touch with himself and feels very separated from his reality ,which is a perfect description of this disorder. I wouldn't be surprised if he had dissociative amnesia, like I wouldn't be surprised if he said he doesn't really remember having dinner with his family in chapter 106 (he really was out of touch and just eating his food, not giving care to the tension felt in that time).

(until now he didn't show any signs of being a system or having DID)

I'm sure he also has different mental struggles other than dissociation, but this one is the clearest one. Him and Melinda showed very clear signs of mental health struggles, I tried to analyse that, I hope that they both heal and get the help they need.

#demetrius desmond #spy x family #damian desmond #donovan desmond #melinda desmond #writing about this is very important to me as someone who struggles with dissociation and maldative dreaming myself #it's not very excessive like his but I felt very relatable to him #because he wasn't showing signs of distress people assumed he is fine... he is just “robotic”#which is not the case #sxf #spy x family manga

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danganronpasurvivoraskblog · 16 days ago

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THE HUNDRED LINE: LAST DEFENSE ACADEMY - Journal #12: Route 4 - "TRUE" ROUTE DAY 33-58 [MASSIVE SPOILERS]

//After I finished the Conspiracy Route of the game, I kept playing down the supposed "main" route of the game, without hitting any endings in particular.

//I do feel like I am just on the verge of one, so I will most likely cover that ending in my next journal. However, for this one specifically, I will be going back to the old format for these, covering it day by day, and breaking down my thoughts and feelings on each event that happens.

//Because trust me, there is...A...LOT!

//We get some CRITICAL revelations and new information in SPADES in this segment, and covering this many days, when I would normally do around 10, means this post has the potential to be quite long, so I'm going to try and abridge my experience and break it down as plainly as possible in the points where I need to.

//...Strap in I guess, and as per usual...

DO NOT READ THE REST OF THIS POST IF YOU HAVE NOT PLAYED/SEEN THE HUNDRED LINE: LAST DEFENSE ACADEMY. I WILL BE TALKING ABOUT VERY SPECIFIC PLOT POINTS AND MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE GAME.

//So let's get into it...

DAY 33:

//So to recap where we last left off, we completed the Conspiracy Route, which kicks off with a critical decision that is made in this battle.

//After the UFB defeats V'ehxness, she employs a gambit that involves kidnapping Kurara and Gaku, so she may absorb them to heal herself and replenish her Hemoanima. In the timeline that I played through previously, the path diverged after I saved Kurara, and left Gaku to die.

//However, in order to stick to the true beaten path, we need to save Gaku. So with a heavy heart, I went back to Day 33 afterwards, and decided to let Gaku get absorbed by V'ehxness.

//Well...I say "heavy heart." But I mostly mean that I'll miss Kurara. I certainly won't miss the Conspiracy Route.

//One thing that did annoy me here is that even though I've already done this fight in full, and despite how there's a critical decision at the end if it, this is the only time the game hasn't given me the prompt to skip the fight.

//Granted, it's probably BECAUSE of the decision at the end, but again, this is easily fixed if you just have a WAVE skip feature. Get on that, TooKyo.

//Anyway, Kurara gets absorbed, and I hate V'ehxness with a burning passion.

//Seriously, the more I see of V'ehxness, the more I dislike her. Not because I think she's a poorly written villain or anything. In fact, I quite like the idea of there being a character in one of these games who is just pure evil. But this narrative structure is a bit of a double-edged sword to be honest.

//On the one hand, this portrayal of a supremely strong and unyielding force of evil serves to further themes of war, loss, and the high price of resistance. It presents a more realistically tragic picture of struggle, challenging the conventional heroic fantasy of effortless victory.

//Because let's be real. The idea of the heroes ALWAYS coming out on top against their enemies in a game that is about the horrors of war is VERY unrealistic. The fact that only a few characters died in the original timeline, and most of them were offscreen, was in line with the idea of a video game. But this part of the story now feels like it could be happening in a real life scenario, where we are forced to watch our friends die as we slowly sink deeper into pain, knowing we can't fucking beat this threat.

//However, this approach, for me at least, becomes very narratively unsatisfying from how often it happens. Having a villain like V'ehxness runs the risk of making the game seem pointless when she consistently invalidates the effort by taking back control, reviving herself, or invalidating hard-won victories.

//If every strategic success is undone, and each emotional investment leads only to greater loss, the game can veer into narrative stagnation, where progress is illusory. Which undermines not only the tension, but...you know...the whole CONCEPT of the game?

//If the result is always the same—V'ehxness wins and someone dies—then the stakes lose their significance.

//But...hey, that's something I'm gonna have to get used to. I just hate her and needed to rant.

//You know, the funny thing is, at this point I was wondering if Takumi maybe had the power to jump back in time again, even if he didn't retain his memories. It doesn't make any sense to me that he could only do something like that once when he didn't lose the UFB's power.

//It didn't make an awful lot of sense to me that he didn't try for a better ending, but I guess that's player choice at the end of the day, since most of these endings are kind of independent of each other regardless.

//I bring this up because I recently watched a horror movie called Happy Death Day for the first time, and it reminded me of that.

//For those who don't know, Happy Death Day is a black comedy slasher film that is, in short, Scream meets Groundhog Day.

//The story follows Tree Gelbman (Yes, her name is Tree; it's short for Theresa), a college student who is murdered on her birthday, only to wake up and relive the same day over and over again. Each time she is killed, the loop resets, and she retains her memories, allowing her to gradually uncover clues about her killer's identity, so she uses each iteration to not only survive but also to become a better person, confronting her own past and relationships.

//Which felt like a really uncanny movie to watch, since I imagine Takumi doing the same thing with his timelines, going back to rectify his mistakes.

DAY 34:

//Like at the beginning of the Conspiracy route, Day 34 starts off with Sirei giving everyone the super energy drink.

//Bro is built different, lol.

//Anyway, this scene doesn't change too much from how it was in the previous route, except for two major differences.

//One: Gaku is here instead of Kurara, for obvious reasons.

//And Two: Nozomi is not present, also for obvious reasons.

DAY 35:

//Oh, so THAT'S where this sprite comes from!

//I remember seeing it in the demo files, and was thinking "How is Kako gonna secretly turn out to be some sort of horndog." And then the kinky group sex line from the demo didn't really reassure me on that.

//But no, she's not horny, she's just drunk.

//It is funny seeing the Tsukumo twins looking all high and dumb next to each other.

//Not much to report on, only that the gang have apparently been drinking all night, and I get Free Time again...Not that I can SPEND it on anything.

//Honestly, I was running a bit low on materials after all the upgrades and gifts and shit I was doing, but because everyone is drinking their depression away, and Nozomi is too caught up over Kurara's death, Hiruko and Eva are the only two who can come with me on expeditions, and that's not really worth the trouble in my opinion.

//The problem is there is very little else I can do in this Free Time because of that. Getting the resources I need to upgrade my kit, tools, and bonds using gifts isn't possible when basically everyone in my team is indisposed.

//So my only choice is to either sleep through the day, or do the VR missions, so I did the latter.

DAY 36:

//This whole next segment of the story gave me some tense feelings.

//For starters, Hiruko’s behavior is starting to mirror Takumi’s from earlier, right after he was knocked out by Sirei. She’s now putting total, unquestioning trust in Sirei, almost like she’s been rewired to follow him blindly.

//When Takumi finally brings up the secret she once uncovered about the war (the one she tried to reveal in the original timeline before Eito killed her) she doesn't seem to have any idea what he's talking about.

Which strongly suggests that, just like with Takumi, Sirei may have tampered with her memories too.

//I really hope this doesn't mean we need to go to ANOTHER route to find out what she was talking about.

//The silver lining is that Hiruko herself seems to sense something is off. There’s a flicker of awareness in her that gives hope.

//I can't help but laugh about how I immediately found Sirei endearing, but now that he's getting the chance to actually, you know, be a character, I REALLY don't like him. I'll talk more about this near the conclusion of this post, but this isn't the first sign of bullshittery we get from him.

//But while that confrontation brews in the background, we’ve got another urgent matter: cheering up Nozomi. She’s been through a lot lately, and Takumi’s determined to do something meaningful for her.

//The plan is to build her a telescope, so Takumi and Eva gear up for another crucial expedition, this time to gather the rare materials needed for it.

//Unfortunately, the rest of the team is still recovering or otherwise unavailable, leaving only Eva and Hiruko able to accompany him, like I said before.

DAY 37:

//Fortunately, this issue does get resolved the next day, as everyone manages to recover from their slumps, except Nozomi, which I guess is to be expected.

//Am I the only one who noticed that Nozomi is unavailable more than any other character in this game is on frequent occassion? There's always some sort of reason in each timeline that prevents you from hanging out with her or taking her out on expeditions.

//Anyway, Takumi gives her the telescope, and the two stargaze. Leading to a very soft moment between the two.

//I love these moments with these two. They're easily my two favourite characters in this game, and their interactions are so familiar and wholesome, and it's always the best part of whatever bad situation we end up in.

//For some reason, I feel more connected to them than I have any of Kodaka's protagonist pairs. And yes, I do mean Naegiri, Hinananami, and the Training Trio.

//I love those characters and their dynamics, don't get it twisted. But these two together are just the best and most wholesome.

//Maybe it's because Takumi and Nozomi are more Uchikoshi-coded though, like Junpei and Akane from 999.

//Anyway, the good times can't last because, as expected, Nozomi suddenly starts experiencing rejection symptoms again.

//Obviously, everyone knows about Nozomi's unique circumstances here, so Takumi goes to explain the problem to everyone, and that they need to raid an enemy base and have Nozomi absorb a Commander's hemoanima to cure her.

//This leads to honestly a pretty badass and just generally satisfying moment.

//Sirei refuses to allow Takumi to raid the base, because they need all hands on deck, and he can't afford to split the group. And of course, since Sirei has kind of bugged Takumi to make him subservient, Takumi begins to (be forced to) see the reason in Sirei's words. And the little shit clearly knows he's in control.

//At least he does for a moment.

//Takumi's love for his childhood friend finally overpowers the hold Sirei has on him, and if Sirei refuses to let him go, he will go by himself.

//Unfortunately for Sirei, the others don't accept this. Moko, Takemaru, and Yugamu agree to join him on the strike force, and Sirei is given no choice but to acquiesce.

DAY 40:

//Jumping ahead a little bit, because I don't have anything critical to report, but as we've done in previous timelines, we get to the Invader base, and fight.

//However, one thing that IS different this time is I actually had Nozomi use her healing ability on herself. As you know, in these rejection symptom fights, Nozomi starts the fight with two thirds of her health, and is chronically slowed. But I never used her own healing ability on herself to see if that cures it.

//Turns out it does, so why the fuck are we even bothering?

//Okay, I kid. I know that Nozomi is using the Hemoanima to heal herself, which would probably make the symptoms worse in canon. I just think it's funny that this illness can be resolved with the push of a button.

//Anyway, like in the other timelines where I did this fight, the Commander we battle against is Quenzelle, the Commander who flies in the air and drops eggs.

//Although, one thing I couldn't help but notice is Quenzelle doesn't really drop eggs in any of the fights against him other than his initial one. I wonder why they gave him that power, only for him to never use it.

//Overall though, we have a fairly easy fight.

//But it ends interestingly, with Quenzelle saying similar things to Eva and Addamaque. He implies that humans were the ones who attacked the Invaders first, which we do get more information on later, but more on that in a bit.

DAY 41:

//If we got back to the school to find the Invaders attack, I would have pissed my own ass. Fortunately, we're in the clear.

//Everyone heads off to get some rest, but Takumi and Nozomi hold back.

//We get yet another touching scene where these two lovebirds open up to each other, and it ends with, surprisingly, Takumi telling Nozomi about everything that happened between them.

//INCLUDING how Nozomi is supposedly his childhood friend Karua, after having her memories of their life being taken from her...supposedly.

//Like I said, I love these moments between these two...And this one is my favourite so far. Takumi finally seems to realize how much this whole thing is weighing on him, now that he's finally being open and honest about it. How much he misses Karua, and his home, and his normal life, and how he chose to put the burden of saving his friends on himself, while blaming himself for every point he failed.

//And Nozomi understanding this, even without the context is just... *chef's kiss.*

//What makes it even better is that the English Dub makes it so powerful. Jay Rincon and Leader Looi do an amazing job selling the pain and recognition feeling between these two characters.

//Unfortunately, this wholesome and heartwarming moment is ended on a low note.

//Nozomi talks more about her backstory in corrolation to Karua, after Takumi notes that the scar is the deciding factor as to what helped him recognize her in the end. But Nozomi claims that her mother also died in the car accident.

//This is a completely different story than she told before, where she explained her mother committed suicide after her research was halted.

//This is a pretty big deal, beacuse avenging her mother was the whole reason Nozomi is even here. So what gives?

DAY 42:

//Takumi suspects Sirei might have fiddled with Nozomi's memory too, which is not impossible. And the idea is reinforced when the guy starts being a gaslighting little shit when Takumi confronts him about it.

//Sirei instead implies that when Takumi jumped back in time, he actually jumped into a different universe where things were a bit different. Considering how varied some of these timelines are, I don't think this is necessarily wrong, but that...

//...combined with that fact that THIS happens makes me think he's just fucking around.

//I got genuine trauma from this, because I saw this kind of scene essentially non-stop in the Conspiracy route.

DAY 43:

//I genuinely take back everything good I said about Sirei by this point.

//The guy is gaslighting the hell out of me, and is lobotomizing not only Takumi, but everyone else, because he's so insecure, and feels so powerless to control the members of the SDU.

//It makes me wonder why he even bothered trying to ease us into fighting in the first place if he could just tinker with our memories and make us into entirely different people who become subservient with him.

//What's upsetting most is as the commanding officer, Sirei is responsible for helping humanity win this war, yet it feels like every time we've fucked up in the past, it is always his fault.

//The entire casual route was his fault, for instance. And it's only because of his shitty commandeering of the situations that we lost Kyoshika and Kurara in meaningless sacrifices.

//And the whole thing becomes even more uncomfortable and disgusting over the ensuing days.

DAY 44:

//Honestly speaking, had I not developed such an intense hatred for Sirei's actions over these past few days, I think I might have been able to stomach Day 44 to 46...But as it happens, this part of the game ended up being incredibly controversial, and I think I'm starting to understand why people were complaining about it.

//Effectively, what starts this off is Kako makes Eva eat something strange, and for a brief moment, it actually seemed to snap her out of the brainwashing Sirei inflicted on her.

//She starts screaming something about her sister, and it looks like she's about to relapse fully, when Sirei strides in and takes her out, as he does OFTEN in this second scenario.

//Which you hate to see. Especially given how much I've already grown to like Eva.

//This kickstarts a three-day sequence where Takumi is roped by Sirei and Nigou into re-brainwashing Eva to make her compliant again.

//Honestly, this whole situation is emotionally exhausting. I wish the game gave us a choice to let us say no to the idea of brainwashing her, but instead, it feels like we’re being railroaded into complicity.

//I mean get it. Takumi’s probably still under Sirei’s lingering influence, and maybe that’s part of the point. But it doesn’t make it any easier to stomach.

//At the very least, Takumi’s discomfort is obvious. He’s not okay with what’s happening, even if he can’t fully resist it yet. That small resistance in him is all we have to hold onto.

//And then it got…deeply uncomfortable. Because it's another roullette wheel game where you spin it, and whichever it lands on will be her new personality, until we get her back to "normal."

//The first time I did it, it landed on "Decadent." And...

//It got this...

//How the FUCK does "Decadent," mean HORNY!?

//Yeah, not gonna lie, I'm USED to Kodaka and Uchikoshi doing shit like this, but even for me, this was unsetelling and distressing.

//Anyway, it's a failure, so we try again tomorrow.

//On a brighter note, Nozomi reached Bond Rank 2 today. She’s still an absolute ray of sunshine, and honestly, we desperately needed that right now.

DAY 45:

//Despite all the shit that happens here, Day 45 actually starts off well.

//Gaku tried to recreate Kurara’s curry, and everyone eats it for breakfast that morning.

//Gaku doesn't get a lot of good moments after the initial time we see him step up to fight, and then I guess when he holds the festival to cheer Kako up and make up for making her upset.

//I don't hate Gaku, because he has his moments like this, and I like that he's still carrying the weight of being the one who survived when Kurara didn’t. Kind of shows that despite how much they hated each other, he does miss her.

//I was also a LITTLE happier, because when we brainwashed Eva again, THIS TIME the wheel landed on "violent." Which led to another one of these super angry breakdowns like the one in the Casual Route.

//Unfortunately, it doesn't last, but I WAS kind of hoping she'd break out and go on a rampage.

DAY 46:

//My heart bleeds for Shouma in moments like this.

//Throughout this arc, he's clearly been devastated by what Eva’s going through. You can tell he genuinely cares about her, and he just doesn’t know how to help. Watching someone you love fall apart while you’re powerless to stop it is like torture, I can imagine.

//The good news is we finally managed to "cure" her this time. She seems stable, at least for now. But even that is bittersweet, since, as Takumi says, this isn't really who she is.

//Nigou’s reaction is…a bit off-putting. He’s way too cheerful about Eva returning to her submissive state. I get that he’s relieved she’s not being harmed anymore, but his tone felt tone-deaf.

//She is still brainwashed, after all. But hey, I am also glad that we're not gonna kill or torture her any more.

DAY 47:

//Aw shit...Here we go again...!

//Yeah, I'm never gonna be a fan of THIS fight. Who knows how many more fucking times I'm gonna have to sit through it.

//This time around, we get to see Nigou in his human form during the hallucination. Which, in theory, should be fairly standard, but the moment he shows up, everyone in the dream starts threatening him on sight, which I think is really funny. Poor guy can’t catch a break, even in people’s dreams.

//Wow not even a reference, just straight up name-dropping the character.

//Also, Eva is here too, and in the dream sequence, she basically confirms that she is an alien. Though in the sequence the Artificial Satellite is her spaceship, so I'm not sure if that's meant to suggest something.

//The way this event pans out this time around is similar, but still different. So, apparently, due to her cryptoglobin being boosted, Turamtammi's power is now strong enough to the point where normal human ears cannot pick up the frequency of her music, which is why we all got corrupted anyway...

//Kiiiiiinda weird that this is only happening in this route and not any of the others where I've fought her?

//But just like last time, the UFB is able to resist the effects, and goes to save Takumi. Though we actually experience the game from his perspective for a little bit.

//I genuinely feel for UFB. The little guy just wants to be included.

//Well, THAT'S a hell of a statement.

//We end up in a huge battle again. Same setup as last time: facing off against Turamtammi and Nyewgank. But this time, I stuck around for the whole thing instead of fast-forwarding through it.

//But then…EITO shows up.

After we take down Nyewgank, Eito suddenly jumps in, siding with the Invaders, and of course, it's playing his wack-ass boss theme again.

//The more important thing though is, like before, Eito has unlocked the truth behind the war, or at least parts of it. And as he has a tendency to do, he's yapping during his boss fight.

//I was actually getting hyped for a proper showdown with him. Thought we’d get some intense back-and-forth…but nope. I obliterated him in a single hit. So so much for dramatic tension.

//After the fight, in typical Eito fashion, he pulls a wild move and absorbs both Turamtammi and Nyewgank before we can.

//Eito starts unraveling the whole mystery too. Not only does he essentially confirm that Sirei has been messing with the group's memories, he even makes a case that there’s no guarantee that the people we think we’re protecting are even on the Artificial Satellite anymore.

//He also explains that the reason he's siding with the Invaders is because his final plan is to absorb our Cryptoglobin, then allow himself to be consumed by V’ehxness to reach some twisted form of transcendence, and make her all-powerful so she'll kill us all.

//Not sure why he wouldn't try to do it the other way around honestly; let V'ehxness absorb the power then take it from her so that he can be the one to kill off humanity. But Eito is as Eito does I guess?

DAY 48:

//Seeing as UFB managed to save the group the previous day, Takumi goes to talk to Sirei again about letting him get on the squad. This time, we will get through to him.

//...Or not.

//FUCKING TRY HARDER TAKUMI! MY GOD!

//Takumi doesn't even have the excuse of being subservient to Sirei anymore! He's kind of moved past that, so now he's just pussying out!

//Speaking of which, luckily, the gang are starting to catch on to Sirei's antics. Obviously, no one is willing to accept this kind of idea coming from Eito of all people, but Tsubasa and Takemaru present physical proof that something fucky is happening.

//Takemaru keeps a journal/diary, and in it, he notes that he went to talk to Eva about something, which he has no memory of doing. He most likely heard something critical from her, and Sirei ended up erasing it from his mind.

//When the trio go to ask UFB about it, Takumi is so eager to get to the bottom of this, he almost lets himself get eaten by the Undying Flames in order to get his attention.

//Side note, the English Dub lines don't match with the English text. Not a big deal, but it's weird that this is the only time in the game so far that this has happened.

//Unfortunately, UFB doesn't have any idea about the process. But even though we don't get definitive answers about the memory tampering, the group agrees to discuss amongst themselves about letting UFB join the team.

DAY 49:

//Leading on from that, the group all gather in the cafeteria, and it's time to do something that we haven't done for a while now. The negotiation minigame.

//On Sirei of all people.

//There is actually some funny dialogue exchanges in this scene. Namely:

Gaku: H-Hey, if you guys shut me down like that, it makes me sound like a dick... Takumi (internally): You are kind of a dick.

Kako: Maybe if we figure out his weakness, we can negotiate.

Ima: What an annoying little mini game. I want no part of it. Gaku: We can just make Takumi do it. He's team leader. Takumi: I was already planning on it...But the least you could do is not say it like that...

//The interesting thing is throughout the day, we actually get multiple different gift ideas for Sirei, though I don't imagine any of them really work.

//The three gifts are a gun, a bottle of wine, and a globe. I gave him the wine bottle, and while it seemed like he was taking the bait, he ended up smashing it.

//As if he couldn't get any more annoying.

DAY 50:

//So, you might not remember, but in the original timeline, when we got to Day 50, Sirei suggested that he had a gift prepared for the rest of the group in the cafeteria. But obviously, because Sirei was dead by that point, we never got to see it.

//Now though, we do. But it turns out it was just a couple of dingy little badges.

//Classic bait-and-switch for these types of games.

//HOWEVER, the cafeteria meeting does yield interesting results.

//Largely the reason why Sirei refuses to let the UFB be part of the team is because in his eyes, he is not a living being, and doesn't deserve to be treated as such. He exists purely to be a weapon, and has no human rights.

//However, Nigou reveals that despite Sirei's words, the opposite is very much true. Because part of his duty has been to protect the UFB, and because they've spent so much time together, Sirei has so much familiarity with the child that he's come to view him as a sort of son, and cares about him more than he lets on.

//The reason he is so obstinate about this is because, as an AI, he doesn't want his own feelings to sabotage the mission.

//Nigou helps Takumi create a photo album made of memory banks shared between him and Sirei, and Takumi gifts it to the Commanding Officer, finally initiating the minigame.

//And...to be honest, I get that this is supposed to be a serious, passionate moment of depth for Sirei or whatever, but honestly, it just came across as really silly to me.

//The good news is that Sirei becomes willing to compromise, and asks Takumi to make a deal.

//To be honest, it's not a very good deal, but Takumi is willing to bend to it if it gives UFB the chance he needs to achieve his desire to have friends and classmates. Effectively, he says that if Takumi and the others agree to stop poking into the matter about their missing or manipulated memories, he'll try to pull some strings to make it happen.

//Takumi does tell Sirei to stop doing the memory manipulation though. Whether or not he will comply with that counteroffer remains to be seen.

DAY 52:

//The UFB arrives at Takumi's room and uses the door like a normal person, which somehow scares Takumi way more than the way he usually appears, which I think is funny.

//Anyway, Takumi takes the boy to the cafeteria to finally meet everyone properly, and they begin to introduce themselves.

//I don't remember if this was brought up before, because I genuinely don't remember, but apparently, when the Undying Flames boy fires off the final attack, his body will be burnt up by his own Undying Flames, and he will die.

//Granted, he DID die in other timelines. Like, I remember him doing so in the Retsnom Route when we used his final attack on V'ehxness. But I thought that was just him overusing his power and his avatar disappearing. The final attack does still kind of happen.

//Which is sad, and unfortunate that it took until Day 50 to finally turn Sirei's thinking about it around. Because now we only have 48 days or so to get to know this dude and become friends with him.

//We get another choice here, for Takumi to make a judgement call. Letting the boy join the team or not.

//Now, this is a weird choice considering the efforts we went through to actually get him to this point where he's meeting the others, and it feels too cold to turn him down. So I ultimately decided to let him on the squad.

//I guess the whole reason why is because if the boy joins the group, chances are our fights will get longer and harder, because we won't be as prepared defensively. Keeping him where he is means we'll be safer and more secure, but like...I couldn't do him like that.

//What's even better news is that now we're at this point, UFB finally gets a name, meaning I don't have to call him ghost boy or UFB anymore. And that name is...

//Honestly speaking, I expected the boys name to be Hie or Hono or something like that, since it's Japanese for fire or flame. But I did a google search, and this does kind of make sense.

//Shion in Japanese is spelled 志音, made from the kanji for "will/purpose" (志) and "sound" (音)

//So effectively, it's eluding to the fact that he is humanity's voice incarnate, since he's the reason we're going to win this war against the Invaders.

//Things seem to be looking up...but even with Shion on the squad now, things don't end to brightly.

//Takemaru doesn't take kindly to the deal Takumi made with Sirei. Obviously, Takumi doesn't like it too much either, but he only went with it because he had Shion's best interests in mind.

//Meaning Takemaru is most likely going to take matters into his own hands.

DAY 53:

//As was sort of to be expected, Takemaru didn't show up for the morning meeting, but neither did Gaku. Meaning the two of them were likely plotting something.

//That aside, Shion is now available during Free Time events. He can't be given gifts, and he's not in the report card, but he does have his own bonding events that can be unlocked through talking to him.

DAY 54:

//This kind of just continues on from the effects of the previous two days. Only that Yugamu starts acting a little bit sus now.

//This isn't part of the plot, but I spent some time with Kako today in the library, and there was a kind of sad event, which is pretty rare. In short, she was talking about ghosts, and said she wanted to see her parents again as ghosts.

//Speaking of Kako and her brother, she and Ima believe that Gaku is acting really on edge, even for him, and they believe that someone is goading him into believing what Eito said about everyone's families not being safe on the Artificial Satellite.

//Strange though, since there doesn't appear to be anyone outwardly having a reason to do so.

//And they really want to emphasize this because they play the same flashback sequence twice in quick succession? Like...yeah, game, I get it!

//Takumi, you've had HALF A WEEK to take the initiative! Just fucking do it! Stop stalling!

DAY 56:

//This day was quite possibly the most tense in the story so far.

//In the morning, Gaku somehow hijacks the school announcement system, and tells everyone he's going to force Sirei to contact the Artificial Satellite, no matter what it takes, and tells everyone to head to the Gym if they want answers.

//Everyone rushes over, but it doesn't go down well. Sirei is nowhere to be seen, and for some reason, without ANY proof, OR indication, Gaku, Takemaru, and Moko blame Takumi for siding with Sirei, and fucking ATTACK HIM and the others.

//This time though, it's not shitty writing that's to blame for the characters acting up for no reason. But we do get a cool sequence here before the fight, where we get a transformation sequence from GAKU'S perspective, IMMEDIATELY followed up by the same sequence from Takumi and his group.

//I wasn't expecting Gaku of all characters to have his own version of the cutscene. Eito and Nozomi did make sense, at least.

//Anyway, we get a fight here. It's not too difficult, especially because Moko, Gaku, and Takemaru ain't got nothing on Takumi's team which is himself, Nozomi, Hiruko, Tsubasa, and Shouma. With just three of them, they're very easily beatable.

//I like the idea of Takumi using his super powered Azure Blitz on them to get them to shut up though.

//ANYway, after being defeated, Takemaru and the others calm down, and the truth comes to light. As it so happens, Yugamu was taking advantage of their already tense feelings, then used drugged snacks to strengthen those feelings until they were sent spiralling into a pit of fear and doubt, which led to them attacking the others.

//All of this was to create the perfect distraction to allow Yugamu to capture Sirei and get answers out of him. And he's able to do so by performing surgery on himself and removing the bomb from inside his chest.

//The reason he did this is because Yugamu himself is concerned about Eito's words, and doesn't think it's wise to outright dismiss them. Especially since Sirei has been especially shady.

//He goes on to explain that he had a "loved one" back on the Artificial Satellite. Someone that he promised he would kill one day when not tied down by his family's work. And if there's any indication that that person may not still be alive, then he wants answers, if nothing else.

//Nigou and the others manage to persuade Yugamu to release Sirei by explaining that, even if Sirei wanted to contact the Artificial Satellite, the classified nature of his mission prevents him from doing so easily.

//Though Takumi eventually convinces Yugamu to let Sirei go, the assassin still demands answers. Sirei finally complies and reveals the truth.

//He explains that his entire existence is dedicated to fulfilling his mission. To do that, he needs not only the intelligence to follow his programming but also the flexibility to adapt to unexpected situations.

//As he puts it, his consciousness is shaped by "the will of humanity."

//To make the best possible decisions for the human race, Sirei has been programmed with simulations of humanity’s collective thought patterns. Every time he faces a choice, he runs these simulations to reach an unbiased outcome. In other words, he arrives at decisions by effectively running a virtual majority vote based on all of humanity’s perspectives.

//Since the mission is critical to humanity's future, it's only logical that it reflects the will of the species as a whole. And because the mission is classified, and he doesn’t have the luxury of asking each person individually, he relies on these internal simulations to determine the consensus.

//This process can take time, which is why he sometimes vanishes for long stretches. Additionally, to keep the mission free from individual bias, Sirei is unable to follow orders from any single person.

//Which is really interesting and also...

A LOAD OF CRAP!

//I'm sorry, I GET that humanity are not ever presented as being a righteous species in this story. But you CANNOT convince me that all of the terrible shit Sirei did is based around what the majority of the human race would do!

//If this is consistent throughout the different timelines, my suspension of disbelief will not account for an entire race of people thinking it's okay to:

Brainwash people, and in one outcome, to the point where one becomes disillusioned with reality.

Not allow ANY sort of contact with the characters and their homes.

Commit war crimes on these level (largely with Eva)

KIDNAP a bunch of LITERAL CHILDREN!

Make said children FIGHT in a WAR!

//And SO much more!

//What makes it even more stupid is quite LITERALLY in the same breath, Sirei and Nigou admit that the mission is confidential, and only a select few people on the Satellite know about it.

//THEN THAT'S JUST NOT FAIR!

//I GUARANTEE you that if humankind knew about what was going on, the results would be VERY different!

//OF COURSE humanity aren't allowing contact with the Artificial Satellite. Humanity don't even know we're FUCKING DOWN HERE!

//It's honestly infuriating that people can look at this and NOT see a very blatant problem with this system. It's not only nonsensical, but it's egrigiously self-destructive!

//Of course, I don't blame Takumi and the others for leaving things at that, because...how the fuck do you even RESPOND to something like that?

DAY 57:

//Alright then. THIS is the point where things start to get kinda nutty, so prepare yourselves.

//The next enemy attack happens today, and the Invaders are once again joined by Eito, but this time, the fight is a little bit different.

//But if there's one thing that's the same, it's that it's yet another Eito fight where the guy just does not stop talking throughout the whole thing. And this time, it's a back-and-forth with Sirei.

//Side note, just in case I forget to bring it up later, this is another part of the game where Sirei really kind of got on my nerves, because he doesn't justify himself AT ALL during this back and forth. Eito plants the ideas of doubt into everyone's heads about what he really found out about the war, and goes into detail explaining when and how he discovered it, even if he doesn't drop the whole truth immediately.

//And Sirei only responds by saying effectively "He's lying, shut up, fight."

//Does he WANT me to be on his side or not?

//Also, Eito does tell all the revelations he discovered during the fight, but it's hard to keep track of them all. He does give on major hint, where he mentions that Earth died a long time ago, and there's more to World Death than we know.

//The more important thing here is that this is a fight against Zen'ta, the commander who can copy people's appearance, and who did so to Moko in the original timeline. This time, however, she seems to do it for Eito, suggesting that the real Eito Aotsuki was killed and replaced with her.

//This is not the case. Eito is still in this fight; he's simply hidden among a mess of clones.

//In order to defeat them all swiftly, we use the same ability that was used previously at the end of the Retsnom Route with Shion putting all his power into a final explosion to take the enemies down.

//Which...is confusing.

//I know that Shion is effectively on the team now, but if I rememeber correctly, didn't using this attack kill him in that timeline? That, coupled with how this fight ends, should really have been the end of the guy.

//Speaking of flames and Ultimate Moves though, I've noticed that almost every time I've fought Eito after the initial final boss of Route 0, I've always unintentionally finished him off using Takumi's Azure Blitz.

//I think I'm gonna try and keep that trend going ;)

//But after Eito and Zen'ta are defeated, the final scene of this day is RIPE with plot twists.

//Firstly, much like he did to Turamtammi and Nyewgank, Eito absorbs Zen'ta before any of us have a chance to, but then V'ehxness shows up to absorb him, just like he planned for. But BEFORE he has a chance to, he tries to drop lore on the war, only for Sirei to suddenly dash down into the field, because he's desperate to cockblock the group from any of the answers.

//But in doing so, he almost gets taken out by Zen'ta, still holding together a form of Eito. But before Sirei can get merced, Nigou jumps in the way of the attack, and dies in his place.

//Which after everything I've had to suffer through with Nigou, the only thing that makes me sad is that Eva was made to watch a character who, in a odd and sketchy kind of way, did try to keep her safe.

//Like I said, after that, Eito absorbs Zen'ta, which heals all his injuries and fatigue, and then V'ehxness appears to absorb him. V'ehxness manages to get MOST of Eito's power, but before she can get all of it, Shion dive-bombs into the battlefield to rescue him.

//As a side twist, it's revealed in this moment that Eva is actually V'ehxness's sister.

//She really IS Mukuro, huh? Secret 16th party member, sister's with the megalomaniacal main villain, is originally an enemy to the party, etc. The list kinda just goes on.

//And as she...seems to have a habit of doing to be honest, V'ehxness decides to leave her final attack for later, so she can once again spend some time recovering from her injuries, and also to give Shion a chance to recover from his.

//This day ends with another choice, with Eito now at our mercy and somewhat crippled by V'ehxness - to either kill him or spare him, much like the first choice that was made after Takumi jumped back in time.

//As you can imagine, there is no way I am killing this fuck, no matter how much he might deserve it. Takumi justifies the reason being he doesn't want to kill another human being, but I personally just want to hear him finish what he was saying.

//And I don't give a damn what Sirei says. He can't be trusted any more than Eito can.

DAY 58:

//Everyone gathers in the courtyard the next morning to hear what Eito has to say, with Eva carrying around the destroyed carcass of Nigou, which makes me a little sad tbh.

//As expected, Sirei does basically EVERYTHING he possibly can to stop Eito from talking, endlessly nattering on about how everything Eito says is a lie, and when Eito finally starts dropping the truths, he even clams up and refuses to affirm what he says, which isn't earning him any brownie points.

//But thankfully, Shion interjects and blackmails Sirei at the right moment, saying he'll have the SDU members break into the defense room and kill him if he doesn't answer their questions, so Sirei is given no choice but to bend, leading to him and Eito finally dropping the big reveal...

//At least...the first one, because there seems to be even more to the story that I don't know yet.

//Mad respect for Shion though. I feel like ever since he's been getting more screen time, he's really become a great character.

//The major plot twist in this game centers around a single, crucial detail that was deliberately kept from the characters for these 158 days. When this truth is finally revealed, it completely reshapes our understanding of the story.

//That key detail...is that we are NOT on Planet Earth.

//Throughout the game, everyone believes the Tokyo Residential Complex is an underground shelter on Earth, built to shield the last remnants of humanity from the apocalyptic event known as World Death. Shion was supposedly sent to Earth to eliminate the Invaders—monsters thought to be Earth's final threat to humanity—while the rest of the Special Defense Unit protected him at the Last Defense Academy until the weapon could be deployed. Meanwhile, the remainder of the human population supposedly escaped the planet and relocated to an Artificial Satellite to avoid the fallout.

//But the reality is far more complex. While World Death DID trigger the war, Earth itself was destroyed long ago, ompletely devoid of life, and likely no longer even exists. The damage was catastrophic, far worse than the devastation seen outside the fire barrier.

//In fact, Sire's EXACT words are that Earth was "on the verge of exploding."

//In truth, humanity had spent generations constructing the Artificial Satellite as a means of leaving Earth entirely. THAT part, at least, remains true, but not in the way that everyone expected.

//The Exodus Project, which everyone believed was an evacuation plan to survive the war, was actually a mission to abandon the real Earth and find a new world for what was left of humanity. As it turns out, the Tokyo Residential Complex where the SDU lived has always been located on the Artificial Satellite. Meaning this is where we ACTUALLY were at the beginning of the game.

//During the Satellite’s construction, humanity also searched for a suitable replacement for Earth, and they eventually discovered one.

//This new planet, known as KXK-787, or as Eito and the Invaders refer to it...Futurum.

//Which is...a little on the nose, but hey, I'm not complaining.

//The planet is strikingly similar to Earth. It's in a life-supporting zone, covered mostly in water, and has all the right conditions for human habitation.

//That’s where we are now. Not Earth. Futurum.

//One of the main reasons so little is known about Earth within the Tokyo Residential Complex is because humanity left it behind centuries, possibly even millennia ago; long before Takumi and his friends were ever born. Sirei explains that the SDU weren’t told the truth because it was considered too abstract and disconnected from their reality, which would only confuse or destabilize them.

//Which I'm gonna have to call bullshit on, even if I do kind of get it? If you ask me, Hemoanima, Shion, the Invaders, World Death, and almost everything else that came before this is far more complicated and otherworldly than even space travel. At least sci-fi is a genre that's been confirmed to exist in this world. And yet those concepts are the one's that Sirei spends the least amount of time explaining, because understanding it any more than we do would be "pointless."

//As I've said before, there was also an underlying desire among some humans to bury the past and avoid facing the guilt of destroying their home world, but more critically, after humanity's departure from Earth, internal divisions began to form.

//Some factions believed humanity should return and face the consequences rather than flee. This ideological clash nearly led to civil war, prompting leaders to restrict access to knowledge about Earth and the Artificial Satellite. As a result, most civilians were left in the dark.

//I really appreciate this twist because we’ve already seen evidence of it! This idea is pretty much what the Conspiracy Route revolves around, with the Anti-Exodus faction and Gotou. It’s satisfying that the primary route reveals this later, giving us new insight and a clearer explanation for earlier events.

//Still, despite all the time, effort, and sacrifice poured into the Exodus Project and the journey to Futurum, humanity made a critical error: Futurum, while eerily similar to Earth, was already inhabited by an intelligent species. One with its own society, history, and belief systems.

//That species is V'ehxness and what we’ve come to know as the School Invaders. In actuality, they're their own species of intelligent lifeforms called "futurans." Not creations of World Death AT ALL.

//Initially, humans tried to communicate and negotiate with the futurans, but remember, the only reason Takumi and the others can even understand them now is because of the Hemoanima, which allows for some level of translation. Without that bridge, misunderstandings led to conflict, which escalated into full-scale war.

//The real challenge for humanity was that, while they held the technological edge, the futurans possessed a unique biological advantage. Occasionally, individuals were born with a rare type of blood that granted them immense power in combat, so overwhelming that even humanity’s most advanced weapons were rendered useless against them.

//You've probably already guessed it, but that special power is Hemoanima, or Cryptoglobin, which the Enemy Commander's have. That's why they're heralded as heroes in their culture.

//The Commanders; V'ehxness, Eva, and the others; are seen as divine champions by the futurans, chosen by the god they worship. Humanity’s advanced weaponry was completely ineffective against them, and for generations, people struggled to overcome these powerful defenders. No matter how much effort was put in, humans simply couldn’t overpower them or claim the planet.

//V’ehxness, while undoubtedly driven by her own dark motives and goals, stands apart from the rest of the Commanders. The others aren’t malicious; they’re simply defending their homeland, fighting for survival against what they perceive as an alien invasion...just as the SDU believed they were doing all along.

//The ruins outside the school aren’t the result of World Death. They were once vibrant cities filled with ordinary futurans. It was the battles fought when futurans were forced to protect themselves from human aggression that reduced them to rubble and forced evacuations.

//In summary, from the very beginning, humans and the members of the SDU are the REAL invaders. Humanity struck first, making the futurans view the SDU as extraterrestrial enemies bent on wiping them out and taking their world.

//And the SDU does NOT handle this revelation well.

//To his credit, Sirei doesn’t try to justify or deny humanity’s actions. He admits it’s a war of conquest, plain and simple, but insists it’s a war born out of necessity.

//The Artificial Satellite was never meant to be a permanent solution. Its systems are deteriorating, and its limited resources are running out. Over the years, the population has dwindled drastically, and humanity is quite literally running out of time.

//Sirei explains that he kept the truth from the SDU because the vast majority of people aboard the Artificial Satellite have no idea a war is even taking place, let alone that the SDU has been deployed on a mission to secure a future for the species. Only high-ranking officials in the government and military know.

//Because of fucking course they do.

//Life on the satellite is already confined and grim, so adding the burden of war would have pushed the population over the edge. The only public clue that anything is wrong is the emergency alert system in the TRC that warns of attacks.

//Then there’s the truth behind Last Defense Academy.

//The school is actually a disguised spacecraft, deployed from the satellite and doubling as a planet-killing weapon. Takumi and the others were placed aboard and sent to Futurum alongside Shion. When they landed, Shion ignited the Undying Flames around the building to shield it as he charged up the energy needed to activate the weapon.

//The reason it looks like a school is because Shion always wanted to attend one, and to live like a normal kid. And since he’s the cornerstone of humanity’s potential victory, they granted him that symbolic wish.

//It also helped that only young people around Shion’s age were physically compatible with Cryptoglobin transfusion, so the school concept made practical sense, too.

//On the topic of Hemoanima/Cryptoglobin, it originally came from Futurum. Only those with this unique blood could harm others who carried it. Desperate to turn the tide, humanity began experimenting with the substance until they were handed an opportunity they couldn’t ignore.

//A child was born on Futurum with unimaginable power. So much so that the futurans believed he was a divine figure, calling him "The Second Coming." In a horrific act of desperation, humanity kidnapped the boy.

//That child…was Shion.

//And this is arguably the darkest twist of all. Shion is a native futuran, abducted and used as a weapon to annihilate his own people and destroy the very planet he was born on. Also, his presence allowed human scientists to make rapid progress in Cryptoglobin research, ultimately enabling Takumi and the others to receive successful transfusions.

//Which brings us to the present: the SDU has landed on Futurum, accompanied by the kidnapped "Second Coming," with the express purpose of wiping out the native population and taking their world for themselves.

//Tragically, this war has raged for almost as long as it took for humanity to even discover Futurum. At this point, diplomacy is impossible. The SDU has already killed multiple revered Commanders, and absorbed their powers, meaning the damage is done.

//There’s no turning back now, for either race.

//This is an interesting thing Sirei says here that I want to draw attention to, since he uses it to kind of justify the case he makes for not only fighting a war of aggression against this innocent alien species, but also for lying to the SDU's members.

//He follows this up by adding that "righteousness belongs to the winner."

//Which is sad...and also kind of true.

//There's an old saying that "History is Written by Victors." It doesn't necessarily mean the same, but it's put in a similar context.

//I have admittedly mixed feelings on this justification, because while I do somewhat agree with it, I feel the need to point out that when you look at the humans and the futurans, the humans are shown to be FAR FAAAAR more destructive!

//Humanity's invasion of Futurum isn’t driven by malice, but by necessity. And yet, this desperation doesn’t absolve them, only deepening the tragedy. So far, humanity has:

Rendered their own home planet uninhabitable, then abandoned it.

Suppressed historical information about Earth and the Artificial Satellite to avoid accountability.

Initiated a war against Futurum; a habitable alien planet already home to an intelligent, INNOCENT species.

Destroyed most of said planet's surface over generations, rendering many innocent futurans homeless or dead.

Abducted a futuran child prophesied as The Second Coming, to use him as a living weapon.

Forced said child to power a world-ending weapon aimed at his own people and home planet.

Used said child's blood to develop a bioweapon program that empowered young people to kill the native population.

Sent them into battle as legitimate child soldiers without fully disclosing the ethical implications or reality of their mission.

Killed and absorbed the powers of revered futuran Commanders who were defending their home, effectively dismantling the spiritual and physical protectors of the planet.

//Meanwhile, the futurans:

Lived on the planet peacefully long before humanity’s arrival.

Were attacked for the legit only reason that the humans, while willing to go through the effort of spending generations building an escape ship, then another few generations fighting a war against them, were not willing to go through the basic effort of learning their language.

Defended their people and planet from invasion.

Revered their defenders as sacred, not militaristic like the humans did the SDU.

Were made to be the aggressors, even though they were the one's defending their home the whole time.

//if you think about it, the only one of the futurans that is in any way evil is V'ehxness. But that's because she has her own will to power that exists independent of the war she's fighting. She herself just wants to kill Shion and take his power.

//Even then, she too is just defending her home planet from humans.

//Also, the idea of their being no good and bad in this war isn't really real, because if you look at things from an outward perspective...The quote should really be "There is no good in war." Period.

//Legitimately, the only people who are innocent in this war are the SDU, and the other Commanders. The face of each side of this conflict are varying degrees of malicious and evil.

//The leader of the futurans, V’ehxness, is revered by her people as a divine protector, but beneath that venerated image lies a deeply corrupted figure. She’s responsible for murdering her own people, has abused her authority, and (as revealed in the current route that I am currently on) has committed heinous acts of child abuse and SO much more. Her crimes extend to attempted familicide, and perhaps most damning of all, betrayal of the very religion that her society is built on. Driven by a god complex, she sees herself not just as a savior, but as a divine being above reproach, violating the faith she once symbolized.

//On the human side, Sirei, the orchestrator of the entire SDU operation and the public face of the human campaign, represents a colder kind of villainy. While he claims to act in the name of survival, he is the architect of a war of conquest against a largely innocent species, and his list of atrocities includes manipulation and brainwashing, child exploitation, unethical scientific experimentation, and psychological torment of a futuran woman, Eva, as well as the rest of his own team, especially Shion. Yes, Sirei sees Shion as a sort of son since he's raised him for most of his life, but Shion is still being used as a living weapon. For Sirei, no act is too extreme if it serves the mission, but his "pragmatism" has long since crossed moral boundaries.

//And the threat doesn't stop with just these two figureheads. Eito, a third-party actor, is arguably even more dangerous. Unlike V’ehxness, who believes she is protecting her people, or Sirei, who believes he’s securing humanity’s future, Eito fights for no one but himself. His desire to exterminate humanity isn’t rooted in justice or defense; it’s driven by a pure lust for power and destruction. He’s already committed multiple atrocities of his own and represents a wildcard force of chaos that stands to push an already tragic war into absolute annihilation.

//I would even extend this implication to the other third parties we've met so far in the other routes; Retsnom and Gotou.

//I'll give Retsnom a bit of credit, since it is effectively just a wild animal at the end of the day, which kind of mirrors Darumi's own apathy for it's own existence, but this doesn't take away from the fact that it either kills or absorbs everyone in three of it's route's four endings.

//And then Gotou...Gotou is just a fucking asshole.

//In the end, while the war began as a desperate struggle for survival or a fight to protect one’s homeland, it's clear that those in power on both sides have become monsters in their own right, and innocent people with GOOD moral compasses don't get caught up in it.

//Anyway, I ranted about this long enough, but the conversation ends with Eito saying that what he said before about our loved ones not being on the Satellite was mostly just a bluff. He himself doesn't know for sure, but mentions that he thought it might be due to Sirei's memory tampering...

//...which unfortunately causes Eva to momentarily regress and murder Sirei again.

//As much as I have grown to dislike Sirei's means that definitely don't justify his ends, having him around, especially now that he's being forefront about everything and explaining his motives in full; seeing him just suddenly die was shocking and upsetting.

Conclusion:

//I wanted to stop it here, because frankly, I originally planned on having this lead on to the next few days up to Day 60. But I've decided to hold off until next time.

//Simply because the stuff that happens in the subsequent next part of the story ties pretty heavily with the next ending I got.

//And if you have any understanding of this game at all, you'll probably know which ending I got next.

//I don't really have anything left to say that I didn't already say to be honest. Just that the twists and turns in this story are getting hella intense, and slight spoiler alert, we're apparently not done yet.

//Before this, the one thing I failed to mention in my main recount is that after Eva kills Sirei, Shouma starts having a moment. He starts to struggle on the verge of remembering more about the group's time at Kamukura Hospital, and that's what's going to lead into I think the second half of this giant twist.

//And my beating heart can only imagine what that might be.

-Mod

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