#read certain fanfics because they just interpret the characters like I do?

[tacobellabeanburrito]

Things That Irk Me In Ace Attorney Fanfics:

When Larry is a pervert, bad friend and seen as the butt of every joke.

When Klavier is depicted as a pervert and pushy in his romantic endeavors.

When Phoenix hates Klavier and avoids him.

When people don’t acknowledge that Pearls is as much of a daughter to Phoenix as Trucy.

When people don’t add Sebastian into the Miles family and only see Kay as Miles’ adopted daughter.

When people don’t add Kay to the Phoenix, Miles and Trucy family.

When people don’t add Sebastian or Apollo to the Trucy, Kay, Miles and Phoenix family.

When Franziska and Phoenix hate each other and only tolerate each other for the sake of Miles and Trucy.

When Klavier and Ema aren’t see as worsties.

When Miles is seen as not seeing Ema as a daughter either.

When people think that Phoenix doesn’t care as much about Ema as he does to all of his adopted weird girl assistants.

When people see Athena and Simon as lovers instead of siblings/family.

When people don’t think that Phoenix sees Apollo and Athena as part of his family and then they get left out of the loop.

When people don’t make the prosecutor’s office a family.

When Phoenix, Gumshoe and Maya aren’t seen as besties.

When Miles doesn’t care about Gumshoe.

When Miles doesn’t see all the others in his life as family/friends except for Franziska, Trucy and Phoenix.

When Phoenix and Miles are seen as hating Larry and not wanting to hang out with him.

Will probably add more. Also, not saying that people are wrong for viewing the characters like this, it’s just sometimes when they do this it really irks me because I interpret their relationships and characters differently.

Also feel free to add in the comments and stuff! But don’t be mean, please.

[juney-blues]

June Egbert is, and always has been incredibly fascinating to me because of just, how many factors have conspired to make Homestuck fans show their collective transmisogynistic asses.

The main character of Homestuck transitioning is a planned future plot point for the official continuation of homestuck, that was spoiled in advance by a fan making a joke about finding some toblerones Andrew Hussie the author of homestuck hid in a cave.

The current main writers of Homestuck: Beyond Canon have went on record in an AMA confirming that this was indeed always the plan, even before they took up the project.

In spite of these facts, the general consensus among certain homestuck fans seems to be that "June Egbert" is purely a headcanon for the original comic that was "made canon" by a "Toblerone Wish" (a concept that didn't even exist at the time)

For a variety of reasons, the "canonicity" of the postcanon official continuations of homestuck is a mattter of much debate, (though a debate that most homestuck fans seem to err on a side of "it's not canon at all in the slightest," something the writers have feelings on I'm sure.)

All of these factors combined leave the concept of "June Egbert" in a very nebulous place. It's assumed by most to just be an "ascended headcanon" that was shoehorned in, it's a spoiler so it hasn't happened yet in any official media, and the official media it will eventually happen in is regarded by some to be nothing more than glorified fanfic.

If someone is talking about June Egbert, and you don't like the concept of June Egbert, you have your pick of a million different excuses for why she's fake and gay and not worth discussing and bad writing and just the authors doing a gay dumbledore*, paying lip service to representation while actually doing nothing.

And of course, lots of people *don't* like June Egbert! Rather than being introduced as transfem from the start, she's in this nebulous position of discovery where people have to truly reckon with the idea of a "Pre-transition Trans Woman."

You can try to write off *some* of the backlash as transphobia, because obviously not everyone in this fandom is gonna be cool about trans people.

But there's no shortage of fans just dying to tell you about how much they like reading her as transmasc, or the idea of her being nonbinary or genderqueer or genderfluid, or literally anything besides a trans woman. And since they're fine with all those other interpretations, there's obviously no implicit biases driving their distaste for the concept! (if you want to try explaining the concept of "transmisogyny" to people like this you're braver than I.)

you can trust them when they say it's *just* a problem with whether or not it makes sense with the writing, or it just doesn't feel right somehow, or any of the thousands of excuses that this writing situation gives them to just Not Like It.

It's just, so interesting to me. There's not a lot of characters out there that get a trans arc in this way, that leaves room for open denialism and insistence that we have our trans cake and eat it too... Because Homestuck is a timeline spanning multiverse story, lots of people seem to want it to be an alternate timeline thing. Assuring us we can have this character share space with a non-transitioning version of herself and it won't be weird or imply gross things about trans people.

If you ask me it feels like a plotline that'd be really good for exploring some gender horror though, finding your true self and then being demoted to a footnote, an alternate version, because everyone around you likes your pre-transition self more....

Anyway I have no broader point beyond "hey look at this isn't this kinda weird. You don't get this kinda stuff often!"

*side note: it's a little ghoulish I think to compare "a future trans plot point that hasn't been given the chance to even happen yet, in an already famously queer piece of media, from a nonbinary author" to "some stupid shit done by the literal most famous transphobe of all time" but that's perhaps a discussion for later.

[elrielffs]

This is the only fandom that INSIST their head canons and what they desire HAVE to happen.

What happened to crack ships?

What happened to enjoying fanfic?

Here's the thing. No one cares what you ship. No one cares what you want to happen. No one cares about how you view certain things.

It's THE INSISTENCE that rubs.

You like Neris? Okay, but stop insisting Cassian is gonna die or Nesta is gonna reject the bond. Enjoy Neris fanfiction, commission Neris fanart but DON'T back track thru the books to cherry pick sentences out of context to fit your narrative. Don't INSIST on what you FEEL is going to happen IS going to happen and everyone is else dumb cause you've picked up the CRUMBS.

You think Rhysand and the IC are evil? Okay, but SJM obviously did not write with that intent so stop INSISTING they are because YOU don't agree with what they do and you FEEL they are evil.

You like Tamlin/Eris? Great, everyone has their fans, it's not right or wrong but stop INSISTING they didn't do anything bad actually and everything they did was justified. If you like a character fine but like them with all their flaws instead of trying to excuse it or sweep it under the rug. (Also Nesta fans...)

I just don't get why people have this INSISTENCE on what THEY want to happen or how THEY interpret a scene/character rather than what IS happening in the books is that AHA correct one and the rest of the fandom "just doesn't get it?" You don't like the way the story is going? Then stop reading the series.

Stop trying to Frankenstein sentences out of context and fanfiction you've read and confused for canon into a narrative that suits what YOU want to happen.

I get I have bias as well but I only came to that bias BECAUSE OF WHERE THE BOOKS ARE OBVIOUSLY LEADING US. If you have to go back thru a book to find scenes to support what YOU want to happen rather than coming to that conclusion naturally--that should tell you something.

The disregard for canon, the narrative twisting, the sentences out of context, the "well I FEEL", I just don't understand.

There are a BILLION books for the tropes ya'll want yet a portion of this fandom wants to come in and twist THIS book series to get what THEY want when it's readily available somewhere else.

Idk man, I just feel like all this is setting the series up for failure. After 4 years and radio silence, no matter what happens, everyone's gonna be disappointed in one or another and it just makes me sad, frustrated, angry---because this series doesn't deserve people who obviously don't like it to pick it apart and put it back together in their mind to set up for a huge disappointment for themselves cause they didn't like where the books are going.

I know someone's gonna be like "BUT THIS APPLIES FOR ELRIEL TOO" and gentle reader, I'm going to touch your hand when I say this, whether or not Elriel end up together in the end or not, they have clearly been set up to have a story together in some capacity. They have multiple scenes together, other characters have pointed out something weird between them, the bc had a scene where they almost fucked in a hallway--

You don't have to read power point presentations on "ACTUALLY ELRIEL IS CANON CAUSE CASSIAN ORGASMS IS DESCRIBED LIKE MUSIC AND MUSIC IS MATE LANGUAGE" its CLEARLY written on page.

They have canon scenes--other couples do not. Just look at the recent fanart debacle. People HAVE to come up with happy scenes for the other couples because NONE exist in the books for these couples. Elriel's don't have to twist the narrative cause the narrative is there. You don't have to like it, you don't have to ship it, you don't have to think their endgame, but it's there, sorry.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hello hello! Long time follower!

I really like reading all your translations, theories and fanfics! It's really great to be able to read your thoughts about characters and cards because am a f2p so I have a very limited stash of gems to pull lol

So I was thinking about the rrcent jp update and I went back to read some of your work on Scarabia. I'll admit they weren't amongst my favorites before so I haven't paid too much attention to them. I was wondering then about the couple times you've said Jamil is well off? Maybe it's from one of his SSR cards of his home event, but I can't remember where he or maybe Kalim implies that?

That's it, just a silly question thanks so much for all that you do, I love so much all your theories and thoughts about the lore and the cast! Have a good day!

Hdsbskwhsk I’m glad that my blog brings you joy and makes your free to play experience more fun 🤩 Thanks for sticking with me all this time!

As for your question, I’m not actually sure if there's dialogue which explicitly states the Viper family's level of wealth. I couldn't find any when I combed through, so I had to go off of implications and my own interpretations of those. From what I’ve gathered, I see the Vipers as upper middle class, or at least middle class with a LOT of benefits (the benefits being present boost them to upper middle class due to the lifestyle the benefits afford them).

So firstly, I think there's a lot of debate surrounding Jamil's family income. Some fans seem to think that the Vipers must be destitute due to their position as servants and Jamil's disdain for how the Asims throw around their money and influence. However, perceived social status or class does NOT always equate to being low income. There are people irl who are technically "servants" and "hired help" that make a significant salary while working for much wealthier individuals. There is data for bodyguards, private chefs, executive assistants, and skilled nannies who earn six-figure incomes and/or excellent benefits working for celebrities, politicians, businessmen, etc. (Notably, guarding, cooking, scheduling/planning, and generally looking after Kalim are all a part of Jamil's duties.) Real world examples of this include employees of the White House and the British royal family.

Now, that all depends a lot on the type of people the employers are. There are many wealthy families who mistreat their staff and/or don't pay them well. From what I've seen of the Asims though, I definitely feel that this is not the case. To begin with, the Vipers don't just do one task for the Asims, they do a LOT. You're already aware of the constant work Jamil has to do around the clock to keep Kalim safe and satisfied, but his parents must do the same. They're described as experts in hospitality and are frequently hosting and entertaining guests from all over Twisted Wonderland. This is skilled labor, and that demands commiserate pay. Not only that, but Kalim describes his father as someone who is very generous (and the guy has plenty of money to spare). I don’t see why Mr. Asim would purposefully skimp on specifically paying the Vipers.

I would also imagine that the Vipers are afforded other benefits. Jamil has said many times that he has to look or act a certain way, as his behavior/appearance reflects on the family he serves. Therefore, the Asims may provide other things Jamil and the Vipers need to “look good” and to best represent and serve the Asims. This could mean food, clothes, transportation/travel expenses, education (like additional training, manners lessons, certification exams, etc.) all paid for on the Asim family’s coin. Jamil has mentioned that his parents gave him lessons in everything he’d need to know in order to serve Kalim, so this tells his parents are also well-educated and/or were at least able to pay for lessons for Jamil. And these lessons aren’t “normal” lessons either, it includes things like formal bodyguard training (you’d have to pay for this irl) and formal table manners (which most of us aren’t taught unless we seek it out).

We also recently learned in book 7 that the Vipers live on Asim property, which is very luxurious. Jamil states that his family would be on the streets should they lose their place serving the Asims—and this could be interpreted in a very literal sense if we think of as losing the roof over their heads. Yes, it's technically not land or housing that the Vipers own, but it is still free high-class lodging, nonetheless. It is a benefit that is afford to them (among others) because of their job(s), similar to those real life examples I mentioned before. One could make the argument that none of this wealth truly belongs to the Vipers. However, you could also argue that because these benefits come with the job, it technically is theirs as long as they keep their job (which is, in fact, how jobs irl work; if you stop working for an employer then naturally you’ll stop getting the benefits that come with that job eventually). It’s complicated. I suspect that, at the very least, part of the reason why the Vipers don’t want to depart from serving the Asims is because they don’t want to lose the pay and the perks that come with their work.

I want to add that the Vipers’ position also gives them the unique advantage of exposing them to tons of important individuals. They are able to meet and connect with these VIPs when most people could never even dream of meeting them, even if just from the viewpoint of a servant. It’s a similar to Lilia and Silver, who technically are not rich (money-wise) but still have ties with majorly influential people (members of the Draconia royal family).

Obviously, the Vipers still aren’t as rich as the Asims and probably will never be, but I believe they still enjoy a comfortable lifestyle. We never see Jamil worry about money or being short of it. He gives his VDC/SDC earnings away without batting an eye, unlike Deuce (from a single-parent income family) who keeps the money since it would really help out his mom. He doesn’t have to work a ton of odd jobs to make ends meet (unlike Ruggie). But Jamil does haggle and act frugal. I think that behavior comes from not a genuine need but Jamil being mindful and planning ahead to avoid being scammed. He’s shown to be a cautious individual who often is the one putting the breaks on Kalim’s extravagance, so I feel the skill also comes partly from having to be the one to curb his ridiculous spending and bring Kalim down to earth. Jamil is still the type of person who would tell Kalim when he’s buying too much or overdoing things, even when it’s not Jamil’s own money being spent and he knows Kalim can afford it. That’s what leads me to believe his frugalness isn’t necessarily the result of him being low income and “needing” to save. If that were the case, he shouldn’t care if Kalim throws his own money at buying diamond jewelry for all the dorm members as souvenirs.

I think the closest metric we have as a frame of reference for how wealthy Jamil is comes from the Tapis Rouge event. In it, Jamil forks out 500 thaumarks (or 50000 madol) to buy a jacket. He remarks that the price is fairly expensive but good quality so it’s worth it. Whether you consider this an indicator of his low or high wealth is really all relative to what your own perception is. Jamil had also previously remarked that what the Mostro Lounge charges is absurd. In Ruggie’s Ceremonial Robes vignettes, Azul quotes the price of one soft drink as 4 thaumarks/400 madol. Jamil responds with “Four? Talk about a markup.” It should be noted that the latter example doesn’t mean Jamil cannot afford a drink of that price; he’s complaining about how expensive Azul has made it to capitalize on the high demand. Do with this knowledge what you will.

Anyway, those are my thoughts! I hope I was able to explain myself well. If you have any thoughts, please feel free to express them ^^

[theotterpenguin]

I really like the nuanced take about Zutara and why it makes some people uncomfortable and I can see both sides of it. I ship Zutara now but at first I didn’t and it made me really uncomfortable but I think it was just because of certain fan content I was coming across. Some people do portray Zutara in an extremely fetishized & creepy Stockholm syndrome way that makes Katara come off like some helpless damsel stereotype. It made me feel really gross thinking about as a young WOC but rewatching the show and seeing the true dynamic of these characters made me fall in love with them again. So I guess my feeling is that in canon i really love the dynamic but I hate the way *certain fans* twist it and refuse to acknowledge the racism & misogyny in what they’re doing

this is a complicated topic with many layers to it but first - i am sorry if you have ever felt unwelcome in the zutara fandom due to experiences with racism/misogyny.

it would be ignorant to claim that the zutara fandom is somehow uniquely unaffected by systemic racism or sexism, but it would also be disingenuous to claim that these issues only exist in certain parts of the atla fandom. racism, sexism, and general bigotry exist in every fandom due to institutionalized inequality in social structures. and to make it clear, i'm not directing this criticism towards you, anon, you are entitled to your own personal experiences, but i have seen a broader trend of people attempting to use fandom racism to moralize their position in ship wars, which is diminishing from the actual problem - the focus should be on acknowledging the existence of fandom racism/sexism, combatting implicit biases, and creating spaces that can uplift marginalized voices, rather than focusing only on optics in an attempt to gain moral high ground in a silly *fictional* ship war.

however, given all this, the reason that i am still in the zutara fandom is because i appreciate how many people in the fandom are dedicated to unpacking issues of racism and sexism and cultural insensitivity in atla's source material, which i personally haven't seen in many other sides of the fandom (that often sanitize what actually happened in the text to avoid acknowledging these issues in their favorite show). of course this is a broad generalization, but that's generally why i stick with the non-canon shipping side of the fandom because fans that are willing to stray away from canon are often less afraid to engage in critical analysis.

i also do think the zutara fandom has come a long way from the early 2000s when the show first aired. for example, when i first joined the fandom i had mixed feelings on fire lady katara, but i have since read some fanfics that have done an excellent job deconstructing some of the problematic ways that this trope could be interpreted and balancing respect for katara's cultural heritage and autonomy with the political and personal difficulties of being involved with an imperialist/colonialist nation. the fire lady katara trope, capture!fic, and other complicated topics/tropes are almost never inherently racist/sexist, but rather, their execution is what matters. and all this is not to say that issues of systemic racism/sexism do not still exist in this fandom, but it personally has not significantly negatively impacted my experience in the zutara fandom due to the wonderful content that so many other fantastic people produce, though everyone's mileage may differ with what they are comfortable with. anon, i hope that you are able to find a place in the zutara fandom for you! but i also know many people that have stepped back from other fandoms due to experiences with racism/misogyny, so i understand that decision as well.

on a final note, i think it's important to acknowledge that fandom doesn't exist in a vacuum and broader issues of racism and sexism are rooted in the media, the entertainment industry, and mainstream societal norms. while i do sometimes focus on fandom dynamics/discourse in my criticisms, i think it is equally as important to acknowledge how issues of prejudice and inequality are perpetuated through larger social structures, which is why it frustrates me when the atla fandom refuses to acknowledge the flaws of the original show, which has far more influence and social power over the general public than discourse over fandom tropes ever will. personally, i don't understand the phenomenon of holding fan-made material to a higher standard than mainstream media.

[dragonfire2lm]

Elden Ring Headcanon: Messmer Edition

Spoilers below, these headcanons are based on item descriptions, and thanks to some helpful people in the discord I'm in for clarifying some lore that completely flew over my head.

Ok, so, just as a disclaimer: I do not care who you ship Messmer with, or how you view him, the following headcanon is just my interpretation, that does not mean that everyone should share said interpretation. If you do, awesome! if not, just continue on with your day, the following headcanon has no bearing on your enjoyment of the character, the game, or what you do to express your love of Elden Ring.

Messmer seems very aromantic coded to me. He has friends among the knights that serve him, cared about them to the point he listened to them when they wanted knowledge preserved, and mourned the loss of a friend when two of knights rebelled against him because of Messmer's serpentine nature. He also has a lot of love for his family, with how he was an older brother figure to Radahn and had a brotherly bond with Gaius, not to mention how he's turned himself into a symbol of fear and uses his fire (which he has tried to get rid of multiple times) all on his mother's orders.

Yet he has no interest in romantic relationships (R.I.P Rellana), and I just, think it'd be neat if I headcanon him as aromantic (Note: that does not mean he's also asexual, I am specifically focusing on aromanticism here) based on the fact that he cares a lot about his knights and his family, but had no interest in Rellana in a romantic way.

Plus, its all in good fun, and aromantic rep is sorely lacking in media, so what's stopping me from reading certain characters as being aro-coded? Fandom often interpret characters as gay, bi, trans and so on for their headcanons and fanfics, so what does it matter if I pick a character to write as being aromantic?

This is, after all, a hobby, its for fun, and if you personally don't agree with this, that's ok. Whatever ideas you have, and whatever ideas I have can coexist in the same fandom space.

Now, here's a headcanon that's a lot less...controversial.

Messmer sees via his serpents, his remainnig eye, as seen in his phase two transition, is a glass one, a prosthetic eye. He probably can't see out of it. Granted, there is a lot of blodd on his fingers after removing it, so maybe it is a magical functioning eye or something, but it could go either way. But given that when we enter his boss room for the first time, we see one of his snake friends before we see him, so I feel like that opening cutscene hints at the fact that he uses his snakes to see.

I like Messmer, he's very friend-shaped.

I just think he's neat.

Edit: The lengthy disclaimer at the start of this post is just me covering my bases, I've gotten guilt-tripped and generally felt unwelcome in a couple of other fandoms for simply having an aromantic spectrum headcanon, or you know, being an asexual fan of a game and its characters when most of the player base is clearly not asexual. (A different game, not Elden Ring, the elden ring community has been very accepting, but the Doubt Still Remains because of my previous experiences)

Thank you for reading.

[la-pheacienne]

Somebody should tell team green moral crusaders that the reason we do not like the scene of Daemon licking his mummy's pussy is not because it's so unFoRGiVAbLe compared to "normal" targcest (lol). It is because it is gratuitous sexposition and pretty cringe. And I am actually able to recognize this as gratuitous sexposition and pretty cringe because I, unlike y'all, watch a TV show with the intention of following a good, entertaining story and relating to the characters on screen. I, unlike y'all, do not watch a TV show with the sole intention of engaging in mental masturbation over the bAd bAd targs. That's not my end goal. That is precisely why I am able to genuinely enjoy many scenes with Otto, Aegon and Criston, (three disgusting, hateful bigots that belong to a "team" I hate), and I enjoy their scenes and their characters because I actually like how the show humanized them and made them relatable even. I understand Otto's disillusionment and anger looking at the chaos caused by his grandson and Criston, I even find it entertaining, I relate to that even if I hate the character. The character makes sense, his scenes are filled with meaning. That is good TV. Aegon's arc is also satisfying, he's an antagonist I can relate to, even if he's a rapist. He feels real to me, I feel something for the character, organically, when I watch his scenes. Good TV. Even Criston is almost funny in his stereotypical bootlicking bigotry and in some scenes I genuinely enjoy watching him because I feel that I understand him. I do not excuse him, I hate him, but I understand him. I know guys like him. The character makes sense, he has a truth in him. Good TV.

Daemon licking his mama's pussy in a dream is not good TV. The scene is there to force a certain subversive interpretation/deconstruction on the viewer via shock but since it is absolutely devoid of substance, it comes off, again, as yet another example of objectification of female sexuality, yet another example of classic GoT sexposition. The reason that this scene has no substance is that we already know that Targs fuck each other. We already know they are an incestuous family. We already know this is a problematic dynamic. The main plot points are enough to showcase this. With that in mind, having one of the core characters of your show, (possibly the book fandom's fave before the show shitfest, and one of the writer's fave characters), lick his mother's pussy as a means of character development does not add anything at all to 1) the narrative if anybody still gives a fuck about it, 2) Daemon's characterization, 3) the themes of the story. Quite the contrary, and even in the hypothesis that Daemon is a pure unambigous villain (and not a "grey" character as grrm calls him lol), even with this assumption, the antagonist becomes cartoonish and the audience feels completely disconnected to him. Which is great if your objective is 1) to get off on incest porn via a hot blonde chick on screen and/or 2) to validate your hate boner for a fictional House whose members are the protagonists of a book and TV series you keep reading and watching while hating the protagonists. It is not great, however, if your objective is to watch a good story with antagonists that have something to say and that feel real and truthful and meaningful.

This antagonist in particular feels ridiculous as if he came straight out of a bad fanfic. And you like that shit. I'm glad to know that the bar is so ridiculously low that you are willing to praise even the cheapest, most typical example of gratuitous titillation aimed at the average GoT fan reddit dudebro, just to prove a point. You actually stoop so low, it is mesmerizing.

[suusoh]

Your post about Johan pushing boundaries and being a little perv with someone who’s trying their best to keep things platonic haunts me. You tried to cook and you succeeded. Best meal i’ve had in months.

Idk if you’ve read the fanfics by ddarkerdreams (i’m almost certain you have cause we’re all starved for Johan content) but the second one has these moments where Johan just gets unnecessarily close to the reader. Or when he buckles her seatbelt in the car. And ddarkerdreams also made a bunch of headcanons about him where they mention him grabbing the reader’s chin and holding them in place so he can look them in eye uninterrupted.

I imagine at first he’d just keep doing these little actions that are so obviously intimate and definitely make darling squirm, but can also be interpreted as platonic just to gage their reaction or mess with them. And then he’d just slowly escalate. Like he’d go further and further. I have two scenarios in my head:

In the first he’d just push boundaries to see them squirm and desperately try to keep things platonic. This one’s definitely the most in-character for Johan cause he’s a little shit who loves watching people and their reactions like the world’s his zoo or smth. Pre-ending Johan would 100% go for this one.

In the second he’d start with the small stuff and get them used to it. He’d be subtle enough that, despite the actions being obviously intimate and flustering, they wouldn’t realize the escalation. At first he might regularly invade their personal space and just shove his face way too close to theirs when talking. Once they dismiss that as “he’s just like that i guess” and get used to it, he’d start being unnecessarily touchy. I imagine this would be more of a thing for post-ending Johan. Cause after the whole identity crisis mental breakdown thing i imagine he’d be more afraid of having them run away. He could always kidnap them ofc, but having them slowly get more and more attached to him might be preferable. Like i imagine after regaining his identity, he’d be very desperate to have people not only acknowledge it, but also accept it. The jig is up, he’s his own person, others can perceive him, i think it’d be a huge thing whether or not the person he wants also wants him. So subtly getting them attached is him being horrified of rejection and manipulating them into a relationship instead of having to face his fears.

Sorry for the rant but i have no one to talk to about this 😭

(reference post)

HELLO ANON!! I'M SO SOSO SORRY IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO FINANLLY ANSWER THIS. THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS!!!

Let me tell you a little something, this ask was honestly one of my favourite asks of all time <3 I remember receiving this when I really was still just in the middle of starting out with suusoh.

Truth be told I was just a little bit intimidated because your ask is honestly just.. .chefs kiss. so good. talented. brilliant. amazing. showstopping. never the same. life changing. literally nothing else I can add to this. Your brain is beautiful and humongous.

BUT YES!!!! I'M PRETTY SURE ALL OF US BY NOW HAVE CONSUMED @/ddarker-dreams JOHAN. IT'S A RITE OF PASSAGE AT THIS POINT AND YES YES YES YES I AM INSPIRED BY THE SECOND FIC WHERE HE REALLY JUST ALL UP ON READER'S SPACE LIKE THAT HFKLAHHJF. GODDDD. Like the way putting on someone's seatbelt or lifting their chin could easily be brushed off as non-romantic or non-sexual and johan will exploit the SHIT out of that. Always making it seem like it's your fault for putting meaning into things.

And you're also getting what I'm saying about post-rurenheim johan as well😭!! Like he'd slowly push your boundaries too, but unlike pre-rurenheim johan who does it for his little entertainment and show, post-rurenheim johan does it because it's his way of genuinely slowly inch by inch getting closer to you and lowkey persuading you to let him be touchy and clingy with you. Literally does the whole "yes, friends sit on each other's lap, this is completely normal. Sit on my lap please please please please."

Thank you for your ask anon! Apologies again that it took me a while, but my blog is open to these thoughts of yours anytime!!

[arcielee]

Interview With a Writer

Thank you @st-eve-barnes for going over your Saltburn series with me! Just a reminder, you can view volume 1 & 2 of my ongoing series Interview With a Writer, where these talented individuals allow me to pick their brains over the brilliance behind their writing!

Name: st-eve-barnes

Story: Leverage

Paring: Michael Gavey x Female!Reader

WARNINGS: 18+ for explicit content and language. Kissing, oral sex (male receiving), dry humping, hand job, fingering, p in v sex. First kiss and loss of virginity. Experienced reader. Enemies to lovers vibes.

So, when did you start writing?

I guess I have to say as a teenager, though I never shared anything I wrote back then. I still have the notebooks I used to drabble in (in Dutch), it wasn’t very good at all but I guess even back then I had that need to be creative and make my own stories.

I officially started writing fanfic in 2013. I watched Thor the Dark World, fell in love with Loki, made a Tumblr and a whole new world opened. After a few months of reading fanfic, I started writing my own. Again, it wasn’t very good at all but even my bad stories slowly started to find an audience on here, so I stuck with it.

Loki is amazing, just Aemond energy in a different font.

He truly is! I've written different characters since, but the moment I saw Aemond on screen I was transported back to the first time I saw Loki. His intensity, that quiet threat like you don't know what he's going to do next, combined with this, "I was made to be king but my stupid brother is the chosen one."

And a certain sadness, of course. We know they're the villains, but we understand them in a way and can feel their pain. And they are sexy as hell of course ;)

Where did the plot for Leverage come from?

Okay, so first of all, I am someone who never plans an entire plot when I start a fic. I am very much a "make it up as I go along" writer. I start with an idea and a dynamic I want to write between two characters and then I build from there.

For this one I wanted Reader and Michael to have a common goal and a common enemy, something that would push these two different characters to want to work together. I wanted the enemies to lovers vibe but soft. Like, you can tell very early on in the fic that they have empathy for each other. When Reader is crying, Michael softens up easily, and when she sees Michael being vulnerable about not being able to get girls, she feels for him as well.

Their personalities will still clash even after that, but you can (hopefully) feel the connection between them as well. I wanted Ben's threat to loom over them for the entire fic but also never make it the main plot point in every chapter. The main plot for me here was how Michael and Reader could help each other change and grow, and then either accept that change or turn away from it.

Was there anything in specific that inspired your Reader portrayal?

No, not really, I think. I wanted to make her independent and confident, but also a little bit lonely, all traits you can also find in Michael. And anything else, as usual, I make up as I go along. I get to know the characters as I write them and often I'm surprised where they take me. In this fic I think it was Michael who surprised me the most though, he really turned out different than I initially had planned.

Explain your interpretation of Michael. What drives him? How did he differ from what you originally had in mind?

Salburn didn't give us much to work with, and I actually love that because it gives us so much freedom to play with the character.

I went with what the movie did give us: Michael's obvious hatred for the popular privileged kids. It's the reason he initially hates Reader, but warms up to her when he learns that she is actually working for her place at Oxford and she is not a real part of Ben's group. I think he is driven to help her purely because of that common enemy in the beginning.

Then he gets to know her a little and the promise of sex comes into play, which he definitely doesn't say no to. What surprised me in writing him is that I initially planned on writing him as a sub throughout the entire fic, but then half way in the tables started turning and he started taking over control a bit (of the Reader and me as well apparently!). And then suddenly it made complete sense to write him that way, because he would be that overeager student who wants to do well and who does the homework to get it exactly right, it doesn't matter whether it's math or sex, he wants to show how good and smart he is.

Him just accepting his feelings for her so calmly was also something I didn't plan, but just sort of happened as I was writing.

My initial plans there was going to be a big fight between her and Michael right before they would call things off. He would force her to admit her feelings and the sex would turn quite rough; Michael just being Michael and saying a lot of wrong things to her that would eventually shut her down completely. But I never wrote that scene and by the time I got there in the story it didn't seem to fit their characters anymore and it also seemed too heavy for this fic so I let go of that idea.

Do you feel your Reader and Michael complement one another?

I definitely think they complement each other, but I also think they are quite alike in many ways. As I said before, they are both quite confident in different ways and insecure in others.

I do think they complement each other perfectly with Michael being more book smart and focused, while Reader is (a lot) better with people and social skills. I think them being together changes them both for the better cause they can learn from each other's personalities and bring out the best out in each other (but also the worst, of course).

Let's say that in their future they definitely learn to focus on bringing out the best and not the worst in each other ;)

Do you think you'll ever continue their story?

Never say never, but there's no plans to write more for them for now. I don't think I've written many sequels over the years, but I love writing different ideas and dynamics between two characters and once they are together, it's like "my work here is done."

Do you have a personal favorite story (on ao3 or Tumblr) you'd like to share?

My absolute favorite story is from a previous fandom that I'm not in anymore, but I have to share that one as it is the single most beautiful thing I've ever read. It was the fic that pulled me into the fandom. It's a Stucky story and it's called Not Easily Conquered, known as NEC in the fandom.

It will crush your soul and heal you and I will give anyone the same advice I got before I read it for the first time: be prepared because this one will hurt. I cried for like a week after I read it and I don't cry easily so this one should come with a warning. But it is absolutely worth it!

Do you have another story in the works?

The only thing I'm working on right now is a Felix Catton x Reader story called Pretty Little Liars. Two chapters have been posted and I'm working on the next ones, but it may be a while as life has been a bit full on here lately.

Would you like to share a snippet of what's to come?

“I think he has a little crush on you,” you stated while Felix opened the door to his room and let you step inside first. Felix shook his head but the little blush on his cheeks didn’t go unnoticed by you. “It’s not like that,” he denied, “He’s just…a bit lost and I’m trying to be his friend.” “You sure that’s all he wants?” “Yeah,” he laughed, “Ollie doesn’t want me, he just wants to be like me.” “If you say so,” you sighed, not convinced. Felix grabbed you by the shoulders and pushed you down to sit on the side of his bed, leaning forward to look into your eyes, “Hey, come on, don’t ruin this by becoming jealous.” “I’m not jealous, I’m…concerned.” That wasn’t a lie. Jealousy was never a factor, you knew right from the start that Felix would never truly be yours, you would always have to share him with the rest of the world. And you always accepted that. But the idea of sharing him with Oliver somehow made your blood boil. Felix kneeled down in front of you, eyes locking with yours as his gaze darkened and he smiled that irresistible smile of his. “Now, did you come up here to chat about Ollie, or to get your pussy eaten, hmm? Cause I can’t do both at the same time.” His lips connected with your knee, kissing your skin softly and you bit your lip and sighed deeply, “Fine, I’ll shut up.”

[olderthannetfic]

As an ace myself, i'm kind of uncomfortable with the rise of all the little sub-labels that describe people's sexuality in terms of masturbation or kinks or taste in porn or just exactly how strongly they do or do not want any specific sexual activity or fantasy. Its good to have language to discuss these things, but there's too much pressure to publicly disclose things that are none of anyone's damn business.

I'm ace, that should be enough. What kind of fanfic I read or if I have any kinks or if I masturbate at all or weather or not a fantasize about fictional characters isn't something that gets shared at dinner parties.

Non-ace people get to just say things like "I'm straight" and have that interpreted as "I am interested in dating and/or boning people of a certain gender", there's no pressure to be like "I date and bone the opposite sex and I watch lesbian porn and I like spanking and feet and maybe I would have a gay fling with a friend if they asked really nicely", because the private personal details are personal and private.

And ace person should be able to say "I'm ace" and have that interpreted "I am not particularily intersted in dating and/or boning anyone" and leave it at that.

So yeah, I'm ace, that's all you get. I'm not even going to distinguish asexual and aromantic, because "ace" covers the whole nebulous "nah", and it's none of anyone's business that the specifics are different for diffent aspects of attractoin. If we're talking about fanfic I'll share my taste in that, if we're talking about kinks I'll might tell you some of mine, but I'm not going to comb through a list of Greek words to pick the one that best describes my fantasies about anime boys and use that as a sexuality.

--

[ohmycale]

 On fanon, canon and details Dark Souls style

Hey, @mellowwater.

I’m sorry if this is late and I haven’t replied to this in my original post. In truth, I have tried to go back and actually answer this question. I made a few drafts but I opted for this instead. The most important thing is you pointed out is this- there is a lot of not confirmed details gets floated around and we don't know what's what. People latch on info that they feel is the truth.

Canon tells us that when Jour died, Deruth did distance himself from his son. We both know they are both grieving and Cale (in Ron's memories) was trying to reach out. Deruth in the same memories was painted as someone clinging to Cale at that event.

Personally, Deruth distancing due to his grief and is understandable in an adult's POV. But it is confusing for someone in Cale's age at that time. I am sure not many have heard it but there is a thing called childhood emotional neglect. This is what I interpret as what happened to kid!Og!Cale. I think it also happened when Violan and Basen came into the picture and when Lily was born because they now trying to be a blended family. It would be normal for og!Cale to be feeling left out or replaced in this new dynamic.

Realistically, we‘re trying to find nuance on very little information, much less confirmed/canon information. It doesn’t help that the topic of the said info are side characters who are, for the sake of writing, not the interest of the story/ TCF in whole.

And of course there is the fanfic side, whether everything is basically under the sun. In fanfic, things get more muddled because there is a lot of character/plot interpretation (and even reinterpretation (I’m looking at you, do-over/fix-it fics/characters react to the plot fics). They are also people in the fandom who have some personal experience about a certain experience with our biases and projection. Same goes for fans who don’t have the said experience being projected.

Talking about og!Cale or any side character is like playing any game from FromSoftware. If you are not familiar with the videogame company aka creator of Dark Souls (you died!), there is lore on the game but you will be hard pressed to find a coherent storyline. I think TCF is the same – the author gives a ton of interesting characters and details about them but it feels wanting since you guessed it- they are side characters and practically, they don’t have much details.

Back to the TCF – I think it is okay to not have full details on what is fanon or canon. For me, whether the info is fanon or canon, it generates discussion, conversation, ideas and things that we (as fans) can throw at each other. Realistically, we cannot press for more info – the author gave us a few details and that’s it. They chose not to do more details. And fans discussing things will stick to what they want to believe – whether it is canon or fanon. It’s up to them whether to believe them or not. A fan can have their own cannon (aka headcannon) and it’s up to them to change their minds from other that. Even if somebody does bring forth canon, how many people are actually gonna believe that if it messes up with their headcannon?

In previous posts, I was welcoming anyone to challenge whatever I posted with canon evidence to the contrary since details get muddy. So far, nothing. But there are posts who post information whether it’s canon or fanon. I just opted for reading and reacting to what people post, whether fanon or canon since not a lot of people are posting canon, especially on the relationship dynamics of characters. Maybe there is someone who is more industrious than me out there.

I know I didn’t actually answer your question. I also know I have some many unanswered questions that I don’t even know if the canon covered. Because of the really lack of info, I don’t see fanon as something really bad especially for topics that we don’t really have info on. We all want clarity, alas, there is not much we can find.

[ladysarai]

@inception30daychallenge day 1: my favorite thing about the movie

I think my FAVORITE thing about Inception is how MUCH there is to it, as a movie. You can watch it a zillion times and get something new from it every time, and you can read one person's take and be impressed and amazed because you didn't even think of that take!

But what REALLY makes me sit up and pay attention to a piece of media is Characters, and Relationships. I love how MUCH the cast did with so very little... I want to know EVERYTHING about Arthur's relationships with Mal and Dom, (okay, ESPECIALLY Mal) just because of the way he calls Mal "lovely" and because of the way he PUTS UP with Dom and follows him around and has obviously been loyal through So Much Shit and then the way he SMILES in the end. Cobb himself is a hot mess, and given only the context of the movie, you have to wonder why anyone would put up with the things he puts Arthur through, so there has to be a history there, right?? And OF COURSE I'm here for Arthur and Eames and their shared history, whatever that may be (they're married okay). The fact that in the paper script, Arthur and Eames could have been played so differently by two other actors is... It's a little awe inspiring, and just makes you really appreciate what actors can bring to their roles.

I love that every single time I watch it, there is something new to notice, some new nuance to pick up on, a new piece of canon that can be used to spin out headcanon or fic from. And I absolutely ADORE that so much is open-ended and there's no real WRONG interpretation; I think that's what's given the fandom such lasting power over the years. We're give so little actual canon that very little fanon is actually contradicted. It's kind of beautiful that way.

On a personal note... When I say that I'm new to the Inception fandom, I mean BRAND NEW... like as of April of this year new. Which is not to say I didn't see the movie when it came out in 2010, because I did! I watched it more than once! But here's the thing... You ever have those experiences where OTHER PEOPLE ruin a thing for you before you give it a chance yourself?

That's what happened with me and Inception. I thought "hey, fun movie" and left it at that. Largely because my younger brother was in this weird "I'm a Movie Connoisseur/Expert and My Opinion is the One That Counts" stage and as someone with self-proclaimed "man crush" on Leo, he was All About Cobb, who is easily my LEAST favorite character. He was also All About arguing for the "it's all a dream" theory over the ending, which I think beautifully demonstrates the main difference between us: I am an optimist and prefer happy endings. So he would Not Shut Up about this movie and how GROUNDBREAKING it was and how the pessimistic viewing of the ending was the Only True Way to watch the movie. (May I say how much I fucking love that this has generally been disproved in the last 14 years? Because I have serious Schadenfreude over that.)

(I was also RPing in a panfandom LJ game at the time with people who were obsessed with playing characters played by Certain Actors and our game wound up with an Arthur and an Ariadne and I think they shipped them but it was full of ~drama~ and I wanted nothing to do with it so I kept my Barbies on my corner of the game and avoided theirs.)

ANYWAY, this is a very convoluted and long-winded way to get to my point. Which is that I largely forgot about Inception for the last 13 years-ish. Then I was rereading some old fanfics in March and because I liked an author, I went to see what other fandoms they'd written for. And somehow I fell into Inception and discovered Arthur/Eames, and HOW THE FUCK DID I MISS THAT????? After a few weeks of reading fic, I decided to watch the movie again and, well. Then I was watching it every other day for several weeks.

Moderation? What's that?

So another favorite thing about this movie is that I got back into fandom for the first time in... god. Almost ten years???? Because of it. Which is a little miraculous by itself.

[nopanamaman]

do you read the fanfic people make? if so, do you have any personal favourites?

Oh man this is gonna be a LONG post

I do read fanfics about my OCs whenever I can! It's always interesting to see different interpretations of your characters. Sometimes they even influence my own perception of them a little bit!

Of course I wouldn't go as far as to say that fanfics have altered any canon story beats, but certain minor character details have definitely been planted in my mind that way. Like I think at this point I'll just accept Arthur's last name as Sokolov because I read it in some fanfic and it stuck lmao

I remember being very impressed with the character writing in Everything Turns Out Fine for Once - I think that was the name? It was a longer work about Sanya and Yura looking for Anya and Dmitry after they escaped. The author got a really nice read on everyone's personalities!

I also recently read a (fairly depressing) Temnova/Olya fic that I enjoyed quite a bit. Just for Today was the name, I believe. The atmosphere of being stuck at a corporate party you don't want to be part of was spot on🥴

There are also a bunch of nice fics in Russian. I read Грань not so long ago and it was a very interesting little exploration of Tsar.

My all-time favourite fic was also a Russian one, and was written by my friend. It was a very poetic exploration of Nadya's relationship with religion, and it had contributed a lot to how I saw that character myself back in the day. Sadly, I don't think it was ever published publicly.

Also I started doing consistent character writing relatively recently - that is, began writing out the events of PAFL in a straightforward novel format a little over a year ago. While it has helped me flesh a ton of things out both character- and storywise, it's also given me a bigger appreciation for fanfic writers that manage to put out huge chapters semi-regularly hahah

It's also very interesting to see how the written canon differs from fan interpretations, sometimes in rather surprising ways. I think if I ever end up releasing that massive slab of text, expectations on how certain characters behave would be somewhat broken

[boyfridged]

i got comments and dms asking to explain certain parts of paint it over, which is a good excuse for me to provide you with directory notes. i understand the fanfic could be difficult to follow since i put a lot of meaning of this work into the minutiae (and it is a part of a slightly more expansive au). however, i also want to add that of course all readers are entitled to their own interpretation, so i encourage to skip this if you prefer it. but if someone is curious – a lengthy explanation can be found under the cut.

firstly, this fanfic touches upon a question that is often brought up in discussions of utrh: why did bruce leave jason to die in the end? this is something that is difficult to explain and seems completely unreasonable, especially if we don’t take into account the weirdness around the infinite crisis that takes place at the same time (the final panels in which it seems that the time wraps itself etc.) and so i asked: what if bruce acted more in character and looked for jason instead of abandoning him after the explosion? and- would that be a comfort or would it derail into something even worse?

and so the main thing that is happening with bruce in this fanfic is his attempts at fixing his reprehensible and impulsive decision of throwing the batarang (and partially even his failure in protecting jay as a child). bruce is authentically trying to repent and be a good father to jason. except the worst has happened and it cannot un-happen, and all of his actions; even the genuine acts of care, are tinged with the horror of it.

moreover, the tragedy of utrh and jason’s death itself is the loss of many years in which jason would grow up and emotionally mature in expectations and understanding of his father. trying to fix that stunted relationship puts them in a dream-like space of missed childhood and makes bruce revert to his past habits. the breakfast scene for example is an image based on post-patrol breakfasts in the silver age and early 80s, in which bruce often worn colourful robes and read a newspaper/sometimes even engaged in some puzzles like crosswords etc. post-crisis and post jason’s death especially, this habit seems to disappear from the comics for the most part. but here they settle back into it, which perhaps would be sweet in any other circumstances.

most importantly, when it comes to jason: the reason for which he is so passive almost all the time is twofold: first of all, he is just very depressed (as bruce says, he did not have any plans for the after of the grand finale of his red hood stunt with the joker. it was pretty much a suicidal mission and what happened was something he had no ways of predicting) and second of all, he does love bruce and wants to forgive him, believing it was an accident (this is mostly inspired by canon post-utrh, for example, countdown, wherein jason is eager to meet bruce and seems to have completely forgiven him the batarang. but it’s also inspired by utrh itself and his messy narrative in which he goes from blaming bruce for leaving him to saying he did not care about bruce not saving him, which suggests he really wants to absolve bruce of as much fault as possible).

however, there is still some internal struggle which i had in mind i wrote the ending of the breakfast scene; jason touching the bandage on his neck there is both a threat and a bit of an accusation. it is also something i wanted to emphasise because in a suggestion of the self-harm and refusal to get professional medical help, jason re-victimises himself too. despite in theory having what he wanted back: his dad, he still feels the wrongness of the situation and wants to keep the evidence of it. ironically, it only further challenges his autonomy, causing him to stay on soft/liquid diet and the neck trauma/mechanical damage leading to partial muteness.

this is his choice. it’s also tied to the detail of jason handing dick keys in the last scene. jason could leave anytime. he is free to do as he wants, something that bruce also indicates in the breakfast scene. i guess the question is how probable it is that he could act reasonably with all the baggage and trauma.

and finally, dick’s pov— dick arrives in gotham weeks after the events of utrh. he does not know of what (for example) the first week was like, something that bruce briefly mentions (the scene in the cave). in the wider context of the au, which is not explicitly mentioned here, the first week is the time when jason keeps aggravating his wound on purpose, especially when bruce says something he does not like (this is slightly hinted at in the breakfast scene too; bruce's quick reaction to jason's fingers lingering at the bandage). so dick also takes jason’s injury to be more serious because it’s not healed yet; but it’s because he is missing a piece of information. dick is also just understandably disturbed by the level of codependency that bruce & jason fell into. he thinks jason should get back on his own feet. this is of course something that becomes even more imperative when he learns the truth. so when dick talks of bringing jason to safety, it has more to do with the general environment and settling with him somewhere where he won’t be perpetually stuck in the place that serves as a reminder of what he has suffered. plus- less obviously, he also says that to calm jason down because ironically the idea of a tangible threat explains his decision better in the moment than telling his brother he cannot be staying at home with someone who slit his throat, intentionally or not.

i hope this clears things up a bit. this is of course not the one true reading and there can be plenty of more interpretations that i would love to hear about! i purposefully leave things unsaid to allow for this freedom. there are also things i have never properly mentioned, like alfred’s position in that all, but that’s a whole another topic that has to do with what happens in this universe after this fanfic. thank you so much for reading and your patience. i hope this was somewhat of an interesting read too.

[bitch-spectrum]

PART 3/3

Part 1 ,, Part 2

Mooch

Personality Headcanons: She is NOT "Teehee :3" she's the kind of girl to show up to your house and commit arson. She's feral, she's dangerous, she's killed 4 people. She was probably arrested for murder and was doing community service to get out early when she got recruited for TF4. You could say she's a little..... nuts :D Physical Headcanons: I don't really have any. ~5" Gender: Puts female on legal documents but always says something different when asked for her gender. Things like "Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy?" or "Ur mom." or "Whatever keeps you busy while I rob you." Pronouns: Any she doesn't care. Orientation: I don't have one. Post Game: She probably wasn't impacted much if at all. Opinions: She's a really funny side character. I adore cute characters who are batshit insane. 3.5/5.

Moray Personality Headcanons: They're a Mettaton stan. They act like a kowkey k-pop stan. They make aesthetic Mettaton gifs, reads/writes x reader fanfic, etc. Because they don't like conflict they don't get into internet beef though. At first they really only joined Starlo's posse for the aesthetic but it turns out they actually really enjoy sword fighting so they stuck around. Because they don't really like fighting or conflict so they usually do all the office work and they don't mind. Physical Headcanons: None really. ~ 5'07" Gender: Nonbinary (Is this canon?) Pronouns: They/Them Orientation: I don't have one. Post Game: They where pretty sad finding out about Clover's passing. It impacted them just not as hard as some of the others. They where able to get back up pretty quickly. Opinions: Gender. But sort of bland in personality. 2.5/5.

Starlo (Okay he's my fave in this specific iteration so just bear with me)

Personality Headcanons: He tends to have a bad habit of avoiding his problems. He tries to keep himself busy so he's not alone with his thoughts for too long. If he has absolutely nothing to do, he sits outside with an acoustic to keep his hands busy. Spanish was his first language and he often mispronounces English words. His mother handmade most of his gabàns. When he was really young and still lived on the surface he loved looking up at the stars. When he was in middle school he had a phase where he hated humans but grew out of it. He was comphet with Ceroba in high school but she clocked him and broke up with him. They stayed friends for a really long time anyway. He's ambidextrous. He's Ceroba's age so ~40-43. A lot of people interpret his sprite as having shade over his eyes but I like to think of it like a bandit mask.... that's prescription. His safety goggles are also prescription. He's really near sighted. He's also a pretty solid horse rider. You can't tell me this man DOESN'T smoke weed idc. He listens to southern rock, country, latino rock, and classic rock.

Physical Headcanons: The parts of his face that stick out emote with him. They turn up when he's happy/excited. They go down when he's sad. They kinda >:|< when he's mad. From growing up doing farm work and then deciding to become a sheriff too he's in really good physical condition and could probably lift most people over his head. His eyes are completely white. He's covered in a thin lair of fur that he grows out in certain places (chest, arms, beard, etc.). Ed is really jealous of his beard. The longer his fur is the darker it gets. Yellow to green-blue to dark blue (looks black). Fangs because I said so. Gender: Cis man Pronouns: He/Him Orientation: Gay and somewhere on the asexual spectrum.

Post Game: He was absolutely devastated the days following Clover's death. He barely got out of bed. Ed had to be the one to get him to even eat anything. He was really out of it, sort of dazed, for several weeks while he just tried to get back to work. He was a little torn between continuing trying to be the town's sheriff or going back to being a farmer. So, until then he just helped his parents out with whatever they needed. As he did, he reconnected with his childhood. He looked back at the boy he used to be, but unable to forget about Clover, he never forgot about the man he wanted to become. Clover had been so excited to meet a real-life cowboy that it almost felt disrespectful to throw out that pipedream now. So, he tried to find a middle ground between the two. Some days he'd be up at the first crack of dawn working in the field and other times he'd be the figurehead of his town, keeping the peace and keeping spirits high. Eventually he managed to pull himself out of a continuous low mood. Because of that, he managed to clear his mind enough to move on through the stages of grief. He and Ceroba got into a fight over what had happened. He felt like he owed it to Clover to at least try. Finally ending on the note that his freedom wasn't worth the life of someone he viewed as his own flesh and blood child - unlike what Ceroba did to her child which really WAS her blood. Their long-time friendship came to a bitter end, and he found himself turning to alcohol as a coping mechanism for a few months before a heartfelt talk with Ace pulled him back to his senses.

At one point when he was working in the field his mother called him inside and said she had finally finished the gabàn she had been making for Clover - he had requested it several months or so at this point but forgot to tell her what had happened. Re-opening old wounds he told her what had happened. He kept the gabàn and keeps it on his guitar case. Like Martlet, it was probably another decade or so before he really felt like his life was starting to move on. He had only known Clover for maybe a couple weeks at most but losing them felt like losing his own kid. He didn't know how long Clover was planning to stick around but had full intentions to legally adopt them. He successfully managed to move on, but he never forgot them.

Opinions: Like I said before he's my favorite character in this specific game. He's that right mix of serious and silly that really scratches an itch in my soul. His design is peak, it just speaks to me. I literally remember yelling at my TV when his design got revealed because I loved it instantly. HOWEVER, I do think that maybe his character could have been written a little better. It's pretty clear he's a complex character but the way he was written I feel like didn't fully convey that. 4/5.

THAT'S ALL! HAVE A GOOD DAY!!

[kutputli]

I really need to stop thinking about that gay vampire show. I've been reading around it the past few days. People's tumblr posts, media essays, interviews with actors and creators...

I stand by my conviction that this is a show that will break your heart if you are a person of colour, because it is a show fundamentally made by white people. My distrust of white people writing PoC comes from a very informed study of media made in the past three decades, and the mistakes that I have seen in the past are being repeated here. Not all the same ones, and not necessarily in the same magnitude as other shows, but beyond the gradation of mistakes, there is a fundamental quality to media made by people of colour, where race informs everything. When white people address race, it is only in certain specifics. Everything that is not specifically labelled as 'race-related' gets treated as neutral (which is to say, it gets treated with a white-default view.)

And that's what this show has been doing and is continuing to do. You can see the specific places where they concientously address race relations, and then you can see all the places where their eye slides off of what the characters are embodying.

And I've done this dance before of book vs movie, and treating the film as fanfic of the book. It's a valid way to approach an adaptation, and I can see a lot of people enjoying bringing the book knowledge to guesses about the show's interpretations and motivations of characters.

But when you change a character's race, you fundamentally change a character. And trying to impose a connection between a white book character and a Black or Brown TV character becomes an exercise in minimising identity. I am not interested in how to squish the impulses and emotions that a South Asian Armand is performing into the box defined by a white Armand.

And what white showmakers repeatedly do is pander to a white gaze--this colourblind casting idea where it doesn't matter what race the actor is because we're here for the character.

I don't watch shows like that. I am here BECAUSE Louis is Black. I am here BECAUSE Claudia is Black. I am here BECAUSE Armand is Brown. Yes, of course they are beloved to me because they are not white. Yes of course, I dislike Lestat more because he is white. This is obvious, this is what any person who has faced racism will bring to a racially diverse piece of media.

If they had genuinely wanted to make a show about problematic mutually abusive vampires where race was not a factor defining their relationships, then they should have made Lestat also not white. (And that would have been easily achievable - they could have taken inspiration from Joseph Bologne.)

I don't have time to write the essay pointing out all the small detailed ways that the show has failed on race, because I just want to express my frustration at the large one. The one where the people in charge are talking about a different version of the characters than the ones I saw on the screen, because of the fundamental incompatibility in how they view race as a factor in shaping a person, and how I do.

I'd like to be able to speculate on things with other fans, to get into Armand especially, to talk about Louis's future and past, but I can't. Because the truth of the characters as I see them isn't what the powers that be define as the truth, and so that makes me a liar.

And so once again whiteness defines those who are not white as the deviant gaze.