#reaching out like a normal person
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^ my tags on a different post wanted to update that they also dmed me asking if i was okay. which means theyâve now triple texted me theyâre literally obsessed with me i won the narc crash (is still emotionally devastated)
#i am so fucking pathetic#ty#literally i am actually on some level proud of myself for not#like#reaching out like a normal person#because he got concerned for me#honestly he should be so#idk#i mean if it comes up I'm just gonna be my avoidant attachment style self and deny deny deny but#it's nice to know he cares#at least he cares about figuring out this scheduling thing#my brain isnt being like 'aw they're worried abt me how great' its more 'hm this is a positive interaction'#and also 'please just text them back god you're pathetic'#and also 'they hate you'#which honestly might be true tbh#listen. did they send me down a narc crash spiral? yes#was it their fault? no#but also. i think i'm also doing this on some level to spite them#which is not the most healthy thing to do in this situation#what the fuck am i doing god i'm just digging myself into a deeper and deeper hole#me when i
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I'm not going back to Gusu with you.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#Those last two high effort comics where just a warm up for this masterpiece. My true magnum opus.#I was originally going to do this gag as a 'alternate version of comic 155'#Then I realized that they have the 'Come back to Gusu with me' conversation twice. So here we are!#I did consider having WWX say 'I'm not going back to gusu with you' in the comic for the better plot accuracy.#I'm invoking the rule of silly by having Wei Wuxian read between the lines of 'Come back to Gusu with me'.#Because it does feel like a confession! It is a confession of 'I care about your safety and I worry for what may happen.'#It is also poorly articulated. You can't really blame WWX for reading into it as 'LWJ is just another person trying to control me.'#The relationship between them is not good! It is two parties who genuinely want to be closer with each other but cannot communicate it.#You can't really have what makes these two work so well as a dynamic without the past history of:#âBack then I really wanted to be your friend.â They are a *missed connection*!#WWX reaches out and LWJ rejects him. And now when LWJ reaches out it is WWX who pushes them apart.#It is a tragedy about the consequences of being out of tandem and realizing what you want far too late.#The momentum of WWX's downfall is far to fast to reverse now. It's a 'When' not ''if' question.#Back to your normal style of PD-MDZS next update. Thank you for reading!
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Girl please stop romanticizing obesity, it will literally kill you eventually (and I know itâs not the first time someone says it to you). Like are you even ok? Romanticizing being immobile & being humiliated on the street? Why would you even aspire to this? For some attention of questionable men on this app? Girl they donât deserve you. This message comes from a place of concern, it is not intended as an insult. You said you want a career in the future, maybe focus on that, Iâm not sure how possible it is do all that while being immobile or having whatever condition.
omfg đ i apologize for writing little stories to get myself off, i guess?? lmfao. i have a fetish. i state clearly in my bio that this is what to expect. sorry im horny posting anonymously on tumblr.com ???? stop being weird when u donât even belong in these spaces
#this is so silly#like i really have any choice but to focus on my career#and iâve literally said before that i donât plan on reaching immobility#i really doubt i could. i have tummy issues and am literally allergic to garlic#and iâve also definitely stated before that what i do requires me to have some level of fitness#permits went thru and i have. a massive project out in west TX in september#also. why does this person assume iâm not doing it for myself??#i was fat before posting here. and i will be fat after#i love my body and iâd love it even more if i was bigger#but iâm fine where i am and iâd be fine losing 50lbs too#tho i donât wanna be under 200lbs bc thatâs where body dysmorphia starts#i am predominantly attracted to fat women so. let me be that pls lol#anon. we have one life and iâm genuinely blessed to have attraction to smthn outside of the norm#this variation is normal within a population and i will have a normal life despite what ppl like you think#talk#ask
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learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way
#experiencing some BIG FEELINGS OVER THIS REVELATION#listen i have never ever been bothered abt not seeing someone in a while or making time to talk to them bc in my mind its like not thst muc#time has passed. i mean it with every fibre of my being that when im like 'oh its ok even though we havent talked in a while and have our#own things going on it doesnt mean we're not friends anymore since we left things on a good note 8 months ago' i sincerely believe that#and for the longest time i just thought everybody makes peace with it at some point and not automatically assuming the other person doesnt#wanna talk to me anymore or smth. my longest lasting friendships are with ppl who work the same way i just thouhght that was normal#whatever organ everybody has that makes them reach out to their friends and plan hang outs i probably dont have it#i was already hesitant to ask out Alex bc i spend almost every waking hour doing smth that isnt talking to ppl unless they happen to be in#the vicinity. and at first it was bc i planned on making sure i had everything set up so i dont get stressed out and do it one at a time#but then i find out theres a friendship decay mechanic? and after dating and marrying someone you lose -10 friendship points for every#day u dont talk to them?? actually ive probably been losing friendship points this whole time without knowing bc of this?????#and i notice a lot of my own habits are also reflected in how i play bc ive been avoiding getting close to pierre and marnie since its more#of a professional relationship. like i know theyre npcs but im approaching it the way i would in real life its fucking nuts#i think its a little relieving im playing /as/ a character than myself bc as im playing im just making up little interactions in my head#than approaching things the way i would myself so it takes a bit of the stress off trying to put myself in there as a spectator. but well#being in a relationship demands a certain amount of energy even more so when theyre things that already take up energy on its own#like making time to talk to your partner and make sure they know theyre loved. i dont always have energy to put all my mental focus into it#and this is true for real life so im not really bothered by not dating anyone. but when its a game and i want my character to be with someo#and i know its fully optional and i know i could just apply the same logic to this i dont /want/ to. sometimes i want to experience#the same things other people do at least to a certain degree without the same emotional andmental stakes#no offense krobus#yapping#stardew#stardew valley#puppy plays sdv#sdv#this game has me by the ankles man
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 sculpted a strange shimmery two headed snail, speckled with wild flowers on it's shell~
#sculpture#snail#fantasy art#I have never sculpted or even drawn a snail before#so hopefully the anatomy is not incredibly off#(though if so.. I guess it could also just pass as further Strange Magical Mutations lol)#It doesn't show up as well in the photo but the shell has some irridescent eyeshadow on it so it kind of alternates a little warm#red and teal as you move it.#Made for an art contest on a game that I play lol (I wouldnt normally think to sculpt a snail on my own if it werent part of a#prompt) but I do kind of like the way it came out.. sort of..#Perhaps a real creature that exists in Nanyevimi (my worldbuilding setting) in some capacity then.. hrmm#also in relevance to this blog i DO STILL WANT TO finish the story with the little adventurer... goursh I have just had so much going on..#all of my little side projects like that have fallen away for so long. I really want his advneture to reach a tiny conclusion though#And shout out to that one person that always reblogged them and left nice comments in the tags also.. :'3#Poll Adventures.... not over... simply was on temporary evil hiatus due to Me Feeling Sick Constantly All Summer and so on and so forth#aughhh.. woe and agonyyy *dramatically drops to my knees in the middle of a rain storm like some tragic movie scene#kneeling into the cold earth as i cradle the half-living bodies of all of my half-finished creative projects in my arms*#ANYWAY... lol..... erm.. snail time
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Itâs justâŚso painful to watch Armand readily submit in order to obtain the love he so desperately craves. And while itâs most assuredly a manipulative tactic, itâs still one borne out of fear and desperation. He cannot lose this person heâs come to love and so will become whatever they want, do whatever they want just so theyâll stay with him. But it wonât be enough. No matter how much he acquiesces or seeks to control (himself, others, the environment), he wonât be able to make Louis stay with him in the perfect life, perfect self he built in the hopes of finally being loved. It will all crumble with Armand left alone in the rubble of what he created, the author of his own abandonment.
#this unfortunately hits way too close to home for me#letâs not even get into Claudiaâs anger at never being enough#iwtv spoilers#interview with the vampire#armand#this is just me speaking from personal experienceâŚbut there is definite manipulation at play here from Armand#and I donât necessarily mean that pejoratively- when youâre desperate for people to like/love you youâll become whatever they want#or whatever you think theyâd want and you give it to them so theyâll want to keep you around#Iâve done it so often with the people in my life- and make no mistake itâs also a survival tactic#you give someone what they want they wonât hurt you#and when thatâs how you survive for years and years it becomes the default method of interacting with others#even with normal people who genuinely mean you no harm you revert to that people pleasing mode#as a means of control both external and internal#this is what i see armand doing- his way of surviving that heâs never truly broken out of#armand ceding coven control to Louis and curating the Dubai penthouse for Louis are part of the same pattern of behavior#and even tho itâs ultimately harmful and will only end badly for armand and Louisâ relationship#idk if armand knows how to not exist that way with someone he loves/desires#all of this also ties into louis and daniel#because of course Armand will lose it over Louis finding connection and interest with someone else aside from him#someone HUMAN no less#and I can see Armand taking out his anger on Daniel as a way of expressing his own frustration at still not being enough for Louis#breaking danielâs mind in a desperate attempt to understand why this human could reach Louis in ways he couldnât#not saying any of this to excuse Armand and his behavior obviously (Iâm very upset and worried over the trial looming on the horizon)#but I do understand this impulse and how youâll throw ANYONE under the bus in order to preserve your place with loved ones#itâs all horrifying but unfortunately I empathize#like even if Louis is right to walk out on him when he learns/remembers the truth of what happened to Claudia#Iâll probably still find myself saddened by Armandâs fate because Iâve absolutely been there myself#itâs a tragedy of his own making- his fear and desperation birthing manipulative and controlling behaviors#that ultimately result in your own abandonment#god this fucking show
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i JUST realized this might be related to one of my other friends in the mvk fandom suddenly hardblocking me so uh
hey y'all! if you frequent the mvk tag, there is a regular blogger there who i will not name, but who has some sort of pathological attachment/obsession with me. they and i were tumblr mutuals but we were not close. we DM'd twice and had scattered interactions here and there.
they are accusing me of:
being abusive toward them
being otherwise cruel to them
being ableist against disabled folks who are high-support???
sending suibait/having my friends send suibait
probably other things.
EDIT: someone's informed me they're accusing me of posting private stuff from their vent account? the only account i know of theirs is the one we were mutuals on
i can't stress enough that none of this is true. there is no proof of it and if you press this person they will have none. all that happened was some time about a year ago when we were mutuals, i feared they might be vagueblogging about me when i was having depressive episodes and i sent them this message about it:
i was being honest here, but they then turned around and said i was spot on--they were vagueblogging about how badly they wanted me to shut the fuck up, stop whining, etc (paraphrasing, but that was the vibe exactly) every time i needed social support. they have since deleted their message admitting to this. i am so sorry i cannot prove it.
since then multiple mutual friends of ours have unfollowed them because they squat on ym blog and, again, pathologically blog about me. they revel and make posts about "justice" and "karma" whenever i am upset on here. they scream and yell and cry whenever i am happy. they have admitted to wanting to convince their mutuals to abandon me:
again, i can't prove this is about me but i have a lot of testimonials from people who noticed this being in both our circles and can vouch for it. initially i was just going to roll my eyes and move on but i think they might be telling other people i'm some horrible fucking abuser who mistreated them when i wasn't even close enough to them to do so.
anyways, sorry to everyone who tracks the tag! i don't know how to prove that i didn't hurt this person. but... like... if they approach you, please do your best to use best judgement and consider the facts in front of you.
again, i will not be naming them. this is not a callout post. this is a preventative measure, because i am a traumatized wreck and i really cannot deal with things of this nature.
#manfred von karma#wordy wendy#literally someone in the mvk fandom who i never had a bad interaction with#just suddenly blocked me out of the blue#and i was heartbroken and reached out with no response#it happens to me p often but it seemed particularly random...#and then by chance i stumbled upon this blog#whose vent tag has hundreds upon HUNDREDS of posts about me despite not having spoken to me in almost a year#and i know they are friends#so i am like. 90% sure they accused me of some horrible shit in private#given how much they post about wanting to turn all our mutual friends against me#really ugly behaviour overall. their vent tag is full of some absolutely reprehensible things.#including talking about how much they hate minorities#and very thinly-veiled posting about how they want palestinians to die and suffer#because theyre tired of seeing donations#i do not know how a person like this slipped into my circle back then#they seemed normal when we first met and just kinda... i don't know. i'm not going to speculate on what changed.
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cx-2 is tech because of his movements and behavior: âď¸
cx-2 is tech bc he said "domicile": â
ď¸
#as much as i LOVE tech i thought that theory was a bit of a reach and mostly hopeful thinking#but after this episode?#i'm sold#ONLY because he said domicile#ONLY BECAUSE OF THAT WORD#and the ONLY REASON i remembered tech said that word bc it was the most nerdy shit ever#he can't just say âhouseâ or âbuildingâ like a normal person??#no he has to push up his goggles and lift his index finger up and say âdomicile!!â#i'm very new to star wars -- i've only watched the mandalorian and the book of boba fett and the sequel movies#although i don't remember much of the latter#but i feel like they wouldn't have used that word. if not to raise our attention#and so far it seems like dave filoni is VERY GOOD about his checkhov's guns -- the small details definitely matter#makes me think of another post i saw saying that they wouldn't have taken tech's goggles out of the marauder w/out a reason#tbb#tbb spoilers#the bad batch#the bad batch spoilers#tech#cx-2#pigeon talks
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i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself
#maiora garrulates#the maiora overthinks the process of writing dialogue saga continues!!!!!!!#im so tired. i have been overthinking this shit in circles i have not been making any progress in any which way lmao!#im bitching and moaning for funsies this is not that serious in the Grand Scheme Of Things i just wanna improve at my fav thing#and â¤ď¸ Unfortunately â¤ď¸ my favorite thing in the world involves learning MY MOST HATED *NEMESIS*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! verbal communication. ew#words are fun! i LOVE words! toys!!!!! im using words right now and i didn't combust!!!!! wow look at that!!!!!!!!!!!!!#putting words in SEQUENCE? multiple times?? filtering THOUGHTS into SENTENCES???? sentences that a character would or wouldn't SAY???#AND THEN THERE'S ANOTHER CHARACTER SOMETIMES???? AND THAT BITCH ALSO HAS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS????? AND THEY ALL HAVE PERSONAL IDIOLECTS#AND TONES THAT S U P P O S E D L Y ARE IMPLICATED BY MANNERISMS AND VERBAL HABITS AND CIRCUMSTANCES (AND THERE'S WRONG ANSWERS! ALSO!!)#AND THEY'RE IN A CONTEXT!! AND THEY'RE INTERACTING WITH EACH OTHER AND INFLUENCING EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THE CONVERSATION COULD VARY GIVEN ENERGY LEVELS WHETER OR NOT SOMEONE'S FOOT IS FALLING ASLEEP THE F U C K I N G WEATHER#âoh dialogue is easy just say it out loud to yourself until it 'sounds normal' ^^â#screaming crying throwing up NONE OF THIS IS INTUITIVE TO MEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....!#ok dramatics over its out of my system! for now!!!#this is all easily explained bc i just. draw a lot more than i talk to people. so like. OBVIOUSLY i have more practice drawing#so drawing comes natural! talking does not! subsequently dialogue is Hard! No FUCKING Shit Sherlock!!!!! (affectionate)#so yeah. im using y'all (the tumblr void) as practice! hi!!! words at you!!!!!!!!!!#so yeah thanks for baring with me while passing by my corner of the internet#i do love self indulgence this is fun check out my navel gazing actually no do not look at my belly button#anyway i just think this is mildly interesting. some of my writer buds have the same ânot good enoughâ allergy towards visuals#but they use it to be mean2me >:( same bitch that âomg i cant i suck at drawing i can't do this-â does the âuhm. just write? lol.â 2 meeee#we could have peace and love on planet earth and a common experience and yet you KICK miette for being bad at words!!!1!!! </3 heartbreak!!#what the fuck was i talking about even#oh yeah. perfectionism within creatives i guess. LMAO JK i am talking about NOTHIN!!!!G i am just putting Words Out Here ehehehehehe#its practice >;)c#all this bc ive been doodling comics for myself again and im V!! PROUD OF THE ART!!!! wanna share- but DIALOGUE!*âĄsfx!!*....... so! options#a) leaving it blank. no there are NO microphones in the budget. b) leaving blank *balloons* so that the Rythm is there. implied convo!!!#c) ...doing it badly. (tragic)(heartwrenching)(teeny tiny bruise 2 the ego) *dramatic single tear cleches fists * its the only way.........#...we shall see! literally none of this is all that serious i am procrastinating!! <3 playing with my tuoys!!!!!!!! silly time!!!#/all lh! am reaching 30 tags so that is all for THIS episode of the maiora bitches about dialogue saga thank you for joining me!!okilyBuhBY
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Guys normal families let you move out right. Normal families don't make a fuss about their adult kid moving out, right.
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i know itâs been years and itâs basically irrelevant now but i genuinely love the green ninja prophecy if only for how much it must have tortured wu and garmadon. how long have they known it!! how did they find it, this script dooming them to forever be on opposing sides!! by the time morro rolls around, wu's spent most of his adult life with this looming over his head - this threat that there's some great evil out there that even their father didn't prevent, and then his brother leaves and adopts the very title that the prophecy foretold against. and then a ridiculously powerful elemental practically falls into his lap, with an uncanny command of his element without even unlocking his true potential, and with another threat already on the horizon (the serpentine) and the rest scattered (not to be brought together until years later), that was all he could do. it's been at minimum decades, at most centuries of the two of them having to carry this burden over their heads - of garmadon succumbing and of this unknown dark lord attacking. when do you think they made the connection. the wrong connection sure, but it makes sense. and it makes sense that years later, after wu is proven wrong and his brother returns to him and his son leaves him, and after his brother threatens to leave him again, he'd work backwards. collect the elementals, rebuild what he can of an alliance, and hope he's proven wrong again. and then kai steals his bag by accident and the rest is history.
#textâ¨#ninjago#is normal (is thinking about ninjago season one in TWENTY TWENTY THREE)#sorry yeah this is just building on/restating the last post i just made however: wu is fascinating#and these brothers are SO fucked up i love exploring it. this is w/o my personal hcs for how this whole thing shaked out bc THOSE#are being saved for a fic for my spinjitzu bros collection.#hot damn do i need to read those books. they torment me (the brothers spinjitzu doomed from unknown mystical creation)#whether or not the prophecy is well used or makes sense in hindsight i love it as a plot device. hell yeah hang over those demigods heads#like a noose. hell yeah tragically shape the entire narrative and the lives of entire families just bc people don't know how to reach. just#bc they made the wrong assumption and got their child killed. just bc they wanted so badly to be important and almost got their#soon-to-be brother killed. this thing is a fire hazard
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there's an essay jumbled up in my brain about dunmeshi's beginning and how clever and deceptive it is as a sleight-of-hand trick that distracts the audience from the depth and scope of the worldbuilding and foreshadowing that's being set up the entire time by dangling zany characters and wacky dishes and biology fun facts in front of us, and how that serves to catch invested viewers off guard when those elements come to the forefront, but also how it works against it with other viewers wanting "more" and not seeing it because the plot bait isn't laid out up front
how people getting frustrated with the characters "not taking things seriously" is mirrored and refuted in the confrontation between Laios and Shuro. how the characters' attitudes aren't just a result of shallow low-stakes "comedy rules" where nothing matters, but are an extension of their personalities (Laios's nonstandard expression of emotions being offputting even to people he knows) and the world and social environment (adventurers being desensitized to death and injury because resurrection magic is commonplace). the way the party refers to "saving Falin" instead of "retrieving Falin's corpse," indicating that they still see her with full personhood, and how that phrasing leads to some readers/viewers believing that Falin is alive in the dragon's stomach, conscious of being slowly digested while the party carelessly fucks around "wasting time." how the weird tonal dissonance makes sense in-universe and yet is deliberately challenged more and more the deeper the party goes
all the character building and pieces of lore slowly weaving together the shape of the larger world, laying the groundwork for the major themes that will surface later. so much is right there in the "low-stakes" early episodes if you know what you're looking for (or pass the perception checks).
it can be so satisfying to see new viewers/readers pick up on the clues even in the earliest "simple" episodes, or notice new things and make connections yourself....and it can also be frustrating to see people dismiss oddities and dissonance as shallow or bad writing because they don't expect a "cooking anime" to have depth like that. why try to question and understand and peel back the layers when you don't expect there to be any layers?
why can't laios take things seriously for once?
#mypost#i'm majorly out of practice for doing any real critical cohesive writing lol#trying to put this into coherent words has been such a mess so here's a vague gesture at my thought process about it#it's both my favorite and the most frustrating thing to see#because i've seen SO MANY people say they dropped the show after a couple eps thinking they know what it's about and where it's going#a cute but ultimately unsustainable gimmick#people for whom the characters and the food/biology infodumping weren't enough of a hook#but i wouldn't change anything about the structure to put a more obvious plot hook in the beginning#because it would give the game away TOO much#i LOVE how the audience has to acclimate to the characters' attitudes about death#only for our assumption that it's all normal and fine in this world to be thrown back in our faces#how we're left to notice the winged lion appearing in statues and carvings and coins and armor in the background#long long before it's ever brought up as a real entity by the plot#the history of the kingdom laid out in plain view but nevermind that. magic painting food!#i've seen the language around falin and her resurrection cause so much confusion#but of COURSE the characters involved wouldn't directly say 'we need to get her corpse to revive it'#bc pragmatically they already understand that as their goal. it doesn't need to be stated out loud; it's just how this process works.#but also they don't SEE her as an object. a dead body.#they need to 'save her before she's digested.' 'the spell couldn't reach her in the dragon's stomach.' 'hang in there falin'#death isn't real to them. not really. and so it doesn't quite feel real to the audience either#not until they find her skull and that realization slams home#like......i keep comparing it to gravity falls#which is episodic and goofy in the beginning but also has a much more obvious plot hook to keep people interested#(a main character entering a secret bunker indicating that he's lying about his ignorance of the town's mysteries)#the main characters in gravity falls are AWARE that there is a mystery to be solved and are trying to find more information#but i don't think that approach would work as well for dm!#laios's goals were never that lofty. not until they HAD to be because the situation demanded it of him#it's the characters trying to solve one personal problem and finding themselves entrenched in something vast and dramatic#that they weren't even fully AWARE of when they set out. and we the audience are on that journey with them!#it's SUCH a good structure i wouldn't trade it for anything. but also. tragic to see people give up and dismiss it so fast.
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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"
I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming
#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with#elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the#grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything#but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd#nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable#are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that#is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant#amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear#masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations#arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will#go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring#annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then#YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated#while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol#I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are#saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to#get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined#with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with#others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then#when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O#also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming#looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj#I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a#person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some#more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all#of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol#I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to#contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***
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art time-lapse of this piece that i posted in IG b4 to try out doing reels. i really like how this turned out overall plus "yasashii suisei" (link for eng tl) really fit the vibes so im queueing this here too
#khr#khre#khr oc#oniyanagi#hibari kyoya#ninomiya kanako#oc#hibakana#einart#tags yapping abt hibakana ahead đŤĄ#the quote that inspired this one still lives rent-free in my brain#âmy alone feels so good i'll only have you if you're sweeter than my solitudeâ#both of them are the type of people who likes to move on their own and dislikes being restricted#and they thrive that way without needing to look out for things like social cues/other's perceptions/the will of a âmajorityâ#there's this certain type of independence that i rlly admire for each of these two characters#if they don't feel comfortable with a person#or if the person's company does not spark any joy#as much as their peace and quiet does#then why would they even hang out and spend/invest time with them amirite? theyre not abt that fake life#nowadays its very common for me to hear abt boomers asking ppl when they're gonna get an s/o or marriage#or just others forcing ppl to conform with the social norms and what's considered as ânormalâ#so these two rlly bring me a lot of comfort#on their own; if i were to depict them on separate stories#khre aside and just considering khr; idt id ship hibari with anyone; he would be my a-spec king icon idol and legend who does wtv he wantsđŤś#kana too mdbxndbddjbd her previous version b4 this had another oc/canon ship but i don't rlly fck with that anymore (still funny tho)#(i realized that that previous ship rlly held her back character-wise---)#(but their (potential/established) platonic relationships with other characters are so *chef kiss* tho--working hard on brainstorming that)#on the other hand i started shipping hibakana for the comedy of their dynamic lmao (it should be around b4 sou & i reached kokuyo arc)#âwouldn't it be funny if---â#its just a joke there's supposed to be an â/hjâ somewhere there i didn't know they would suit e/o's characters & personality this much wtf
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i think its okay for people to be upset when people who were important to their childhood die. like, its not impossible for people to be upset about someone dying and to be upset that said person was also a bad individual. people are multifaceted and i think social media has warped the way a lot of you treat grief and those around you as a whole.
#tw : death#tw : abuser#liam payne#one direction#don't get me wrong im absolutely elated that the world is free of another POS but it did make me worry for some of my old friends#i actually ended up reaching out to one of them from elementary (she's okay) because i knew how much he meant to her when we were kids#sometimes i wish people would stop and think for a moment.#in general yeah but also when it comes to situations like this#people are so quick to judge others and pull the âwell *i* obviously knew better because im better than all of youâ#especially when things like this happen#and in part i think social media is to blame#not that i haven't done the exact same shit (because i absolutely have) but like. christ.#i don't think a 28y/o should be calling a 14y/o a disgusting person for being upset and having very normal human emotions.#(<â referencing a post i saw on twitter unfortunately)#rambling#long tags#too many tags
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Elliott is secretly a vampire this, Elliott is secretly a vampire that
ELLIOTT IS SECRETLY A MERMAID!!!
#bye an sanity#sdv#look I understand I love vampires too#but weird romance tropes inspired man that lives in the beach and seems to have no history and/or job is mermaid coded to me#he is fascinated by the world and love sea creatures#he hears noises in the ocean that he can't reach and he doesn't have a job before publishing his book#and he clearly doesn't understand how to make normal relationships a lot of the time and has this personality that came right out of a book#he is not really bothered by the sand and the animals that live at his cottage and he knows how to fish#like he has dialogue talking about how he got a lot of tokens after playing a fishing game#mermaids#elliott sdv
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