#re: anon hate

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

Okay, so this is going to be the only post I make about this because I’m done, I’m just so done at this point.

If you don’t ship Daemyra or you don’t like Daemon, that’s cool! You are totally welcome to have your own feelings or opinions on the character and/or pairing, that’s valid. But I am a blog that posts a lot of Daemon and Daemyra, so if that’s not your boat and you really do not want to see it, you are welcome to ignore the posts, unfollow or block. That’s your right, you are totally welcome to decide what content you see and what makes you comfortable, I don’t want to make people uncomfortable.

But sending me nasty messages, both in DMs and in my asks, is taking it too far.

I’m not going to answer these individually because it’s a waste of time. It’s boring. Frankly I’ve got much better things to do nowadays. I’ve already had to go through several years of this before in a different fandom and I learnt the hard way that answering each and every one is silly, unhealthy even. I will make a blanket statement about this in general though, and it’ll be the only thing I write about it.

I don’t care what you ship, don’t ship, etc, if you’re resorting to doing something like using the r slur against an autistic person because of a FICTIONAL television show/fandom, you need to take a step back from online, from fandoms, and evaluate your life. There’s no way that you’re proving you’re right in any way if you do this.

As for the Matt Smith thing: for anyone unaware, yes, I have tickets for next month (3 weeks technically) to meet him at a London comic con. I paid a ridiculous amount of money for a bundle to guarantee a photo and autograph, and that’s on top of buying a ticket to actually get into the convention. As it is, I’m anxious about it because comic cons when you’re autistic and struggle with crowds/sensory issues is a NIGHTMARE. I don’t go to cons regularly because of that, it’s a literal hell for me. It’s so bad that I’ve had to convince my mostly-antisocial dad to come with me. I’ve also been tormenting myself and getting nervous over meeting him because I’m just anxious and nervous in general, and even though it’ll probably be a quick thing, it’s still huge. I’m scared he’ll be a dick or something, but also just because holy shit im gonna meet Matt Smith?!? Having this BS on top of my already panicking and freaking out brain is literally doing me no favours. I know none of these people care, they want to upset me, but genuinely I’m at the point where I’m debating selling both tickets (one for me, one for my dad) as well as the Matt Smith photo/autograph bundle because it’s making me ill and it’s not worth me losing anymore health over.

I literally just want to enjoy my little ship, the characters, the story of the book/show, maybe occasionally write one of my little fics. I don’t want to fight with anyone. It’s an escape from work and life, but at the end of the day, it’s fiction: it’s not real. It’s not worth getting this mad or argumentative over. Just let me ship my ship and enjoy reblogging gif posts please.

[inthezoyne]

wtf did you even do to warrant hate you barely post

They want me to post more, they can’t get enough of me.

[manchesterau]

not being able to understand a bit or when dnp are joking is top five phannie fails

[not-poignant]

Hey! It is so interesting to me when people hate on things created by the people they hate (not bashing here just wondering, for each their own). It is just for me it always was the same thing as - my country is run by terrible people, but there woudn't be the place where I can feel more at home than this room I am in. Same always was with HP. I will hate Rowling for every shitty thing she said/did, but hp fanfics/books will always be my safe haven. It's not hers anymore, it's mine.

Anonymously coming into a trans person's private messages to tell them that hating on the creations of the most famous transphobic creator in the world is 'interesting' to you as though this is merely a thought experiment and not something with tangible stakes is a choice, anon.

Here's the thing. JKR isn't dead, she's not a philosophical concept (like a nation), she's not a government. She's a living person still using the profits of her creations to hate on and harm trans people and actively influence trans dehumanising laws.

Anyone who gives her money via buying her books or merch actively and explicitly contributes to these actions and this hate. I don't think your analogy is comparable, so I'll give you another: It would be like if you were a domestic violence victim, and I was a huge fan of Chris Brown (a very famous domestic violence abuser) and went into your personal space to anonymously tell you how 'interesting' it is that I can separate the art from the artist. That his music is 'mine now' while fully knowing that a domestic abuser is benefitting from my listening to his music and spreading this rhetoric about him. I'll tack on a 'but he's bad' to cover my bases, but that's it.

Just...why.

Our lives are not thought experiments. It's not 'interesting' that many trans people can't and won't separate the art from the artist while the artist actively uses the money from the art to harm us and increase hate crimes against us. It's devastating that more people don't understand why this is such an issue.

HP is not yours, anon. Not in the same way it's JKR's. You don't own the IP. You can't use the profits from it to help marginalised people. You can enjoy it in your mind, and privately, and among folks who feel the same way as you, but speaking about it favourably in public with zero caveats allies you with the most public and infamous transphobic mascot and influential figure in the world whether you like it or not. Even with caveats, it still harms more trans people than it helps.

Being reminded of the person actively working to increase the number of draconian laws around our rights, who has the endorsement of Putin and has empowered trans haters in the US, is not an 'interesting' little experiment for me, it's actively painful and hurtful. I'd rather you just bashed outright so I could delete the anon message rather than explain why our lives are interesting philosophical think pieces.

If this is what you're choosing to do with the part of HP that belongs to you and is now yours, by anonymously coming here to tell a trans person these things as though you expect any answer than the one I'm giving you now? Well, that sucks too.

Enjoy the IP and make it yours if you must. Stop telling trans people about it anonymously. And if you can't stop telling people how much you like HP, for god's sake, warn them first so they can decide if you're safe enough to keep interacting with.

[hrokkall]

listen to me boy. you will draw Kaycee and she will be silly .

On it, boss

[not-your-typical-soldier-blu]

Any opinions on your RED counterpart?

*Notification Alert*(¿?

— Words cannot express how much I HATE him right now. —

[astralleywright]

frankly i'm just wondering who is out here acting like bh is gonna kiss ludinus' ass the second they find out what happened to aeor? because a lot of people say they're scared of it happening and i have no idea why they'd think it

idk if these asks were sent together but they're abt the same things, which. yeah. like i said on that other post, western and specifically usamerican liberal online spaces developed a deep hatred and fear of any radicalism post-2016. this makes it incredibly easy to fold the questioning of the status quo and the narratives of power into the same category as explicitly cruel and conspiratorial ideology, and to treat all of the above as toxic waste only to be touched when it's being disposed of. horseshoe theory and all that.

it's pertinent that you mention white supremacy here, anon, given that that is an example of an ideology that truly does deserve no quarter, no validation, nothing but violent resistance at every turn. it is also an ideology that in no way reflects reality, or history, or truth, now or ever. there is absolutely nothing of value or importance to be gleaned from it. the same cannot be said of what Ludinus is saying.

Ludinus is a facist, and a colonialist, and like first anon said, I severely doubt BH would actually ever side with him except on a deeply temporary basis (like the present moment, wherein siding means not trying to murder him for a few minutes). like second anon said, his actions are deeply hypocritical in light of what he experienced. he has become a god in all of the ways that matter, which are the ones he despises them for. but that's the thing; unlike white supremacist fantasies of "what they took from us" or what the fuck ever, what we are seeing is that some version of what Ludinus is expressing DID happen. we saw it in FRIDA's vision; a wrong was done. the Gods destroyed Aeor, they killed thousands of people, both innocent and not. and Ludinus' response is hypocritical and cruel and disproportionate; just like the Gods response to Aeor.

[seventeendeer]

an invisible ask is in my inbox so if you sent me something and I don't respond it's not bc I don't wanna talk to you it's bc tumblr does not fockin g work

[syoddeye]

look at you pretending to care about victims of genocide and rape. you're not fooling anyone especially with your posts mocking actually concerned fans and human beings for supposedly not having lives.

full stop, you do not know my life outside this blog. you do not know how i conduct myself, spend my money, or function in my community offline.

i know i am friendly and i shitpost and talk about my life, but please understand: this is a curated space, despite what the stupid and lighthearted glimpses i share here make you think. they are scraps i choose to share.

[blushydrangea]

since nymphia will be going to paris for cultural olympics, the chance of seeing dada and nymphia in the same frame is there

I KNOWWWW, they're also friends with marina so even if it doesn't happen for the olympics i'm sure it'll happen sometime 😭 and once it does i will be insufferable, i'm sorry in advance!

like "oui" on the team nymphia post caught me very off guard cause i'm almost sure that was the first time dada openly supported a finalist? and for her to comment even when she hardly ever comments on anything... hot women love nymphia wind <3

[dve]

it's not that serious. unless it is that serious. in which case i need everyone else to take it as seriously as me otherwise i will explode palamedes sextus style and then we'll all be sorry

[sadaveniren]

Why do you think the fandom treats Gemma and the Tomlinson sisters so differently?

Because Gemma is doing what they want and the Tomlinson sisters aren’t and despite being progressive and saying we support people for doing what they want we as a society and a fandom over all still operate under the rule of “my way or the Highway”

[reborrowing]

1, 2, 5, and 34 for the weird writer questions! I'm curious lol

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

Georgia, usually, but I’m good with any sans serif fonts. I’m not sure why Georgia gets a pass, but it’s the only serif font I like working in.

2. If you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? If you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil?

I actually prefer writing by hand! I just lose track of my notebooks. When I was younger and had less places I might go and write, I did write exclusively by hand, in pen. I find it’s easier to get into a flow on paper plus I’m less tempted to edit as I go and instead get a soft edit when I’m typing things up. But I can’t save notebook writing to the cloud, so keyboard it is.

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

I’m having trouble thinking of anything that fits here, because obviously it’s 100% true and doesn’t count as a superstition /j. Uhhhh, there’s the easier writing by hand, and also I think everything is worse if I write with black-on-white or white-on-black. I write in different pastel colors on gray or cream and change the colors to help with writer’s block.

34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

controversial opinion maybe but: it so doesn’t fucking matter

like there’s edge cases where you absolutely should use or not use it to clear ambiguity and if you’re writing for a publication you likely have a style guide to follow, otherwise go with what your heart tells you. Punctuation is largely a matter of convention and formal English has plenty of examples of sentences both with and without the Oxford comma. They’re both fine.

If you enjoy dying on the hill for or against the Oxford comma though, be my guest. I won’t read anything with poorly formatted dialogue so I do get pet peeves about punctuation.

[theokusgallery]

Is Nick narcissistic..? (Pretty sure he is???.. but I just wanted to make sure of it since I didn't fully explore this blog)

He has NPD yeah it's on his ref sheet

I'm not a medical professional by any means, I'm going off of research and personal experience — saying he has NPD just means I'm giving him a buncha symptoms, because with personality disorders that's how the diagnostic process goes yk, but tbh both him and Sunny have a lot of cluster b traits, I wouldn't even say he only exclusively has NPD and nothing else (or that Sunny doesn't have it either). The obsession he has with Sunny (and that Sunny also has with him) is something that most bpd havers I've talked to relate to lol.

Again when it comes to personality disorders (and especially cluster Bs), the disorders are just... patterns of behaviors that have been sorted out into categories. Also I'm frankly not a fan of the field of psychiatry and the state of it as it stands so I'm too opinionated to be objective about it —

— I can rant all I want about how calling abuse from a narcissistic person "narcissistic abuse" is stigmatizing and unhelpful but at the end of the day the people who made up the diagnosis called it "egotistical abusive fuck disorder" (same for historionic, antisocial & borderline btw, like how's no one talking about the fact that hpd and bpd are literally female hysteria but rebranded). And the process of making up the diagnostic criteria for aspd was just... surveying violent criminals. They put a fucking time limit on that shit as well, like, one of the diagnostic criteria is having a criminal record & exhibiting symptoms before the age of 15 (but they still won't diagnose you before you're an adult because God forbid you're self aware and try to seek help about it). And with psychopathy in cognitive science, which they'll swear up and down is unrelated to ASPD, it's literally the same thing except they try and tell you that "actually some people are just born with the Bad Person Gene" because they love to pretend they can identify who "bad people" are and how to 'sort them out'

Like. Cluster B personality disorders diagnosis are just collections of symptoms that are usually harmful trauma responses that a bunch of old bigots slapped a "obnoxious abusive bitch" label on. I hate the label of "narcissistic abuse" and the habit of diagnosing anyone you don't like with a personality disorder, even if they have exactly 0 of the symptoms, and I think it helps no one even if it's accurate — but I'm honestly not a fan of the label "narcissist" either, so.

When you're diagnosed with a (1) cluster b pd usually you have symptoms of several others. And there's symptoms that can arbitrarily be put into either category (spoiler alert: usually they'll decide that based on your gender lol). I am very critical of the DSM because between the guy who made up the "trans woman paraphilic disorder" being chair of the fucking thing, the history of stigmatisation & basing what's a mental illness off of what's 'socially acceptable', the trillion of unhelpful diagnosis that no one's ever heard of vs. DP/DR not being recognised as a disorder unrelated to other forms of dissociative disorders, etc etc... I just don't think that letting a bunch of old white neurotypical bigoted cishet men "categorize" the human psyche to decide on what's today's new target for Bad Person Syndrome is a good idea.

[storm-of-feathers]

im not TRYNA be a role model btw i just think being kind to people is better than not being and sometimes that includes people you dont like. 

[louisthiccsexyglitteryass]

i'm one rude anon away from deleting my blog istfg