#rats for the win

[alavenderleaf]

Source: Bruins Rinkside (YouTube)

(I can’t rlly hear the questions properly so bear with me a little)

[“Marchy what do you think of the way Bertuzzi agitated—or walked the lines?”]

“Yeah he’s— one of those guys that you really don’t wanna play against, love having on your team. And— sort of a competitive guy by nature. He’s always in the mix, always in the battle, goes towards the dirty areas and—those are the guys who are really frustrating to play against, even when he’s not running around—and he was, a little bit, so—yeah it’s great to see and, you know, he plays that playoff style all year long and he’s the guy you wanna go to war with. We’re lucky to have him right now, he’s plying great, and he had a big game for us.”

[question about the stolen stick]

Big smile “I saw that yesterday! I was [indistinguishable] on that, yeah I didn’t notice that during the game but— he’s a little greaseball (affectionate) , you know? I love it.”

[“he pretty much became an instant bruin”]

“Yeah yeah. No I—again, he’s a guy that you love having on your team and — that stuff just makes you laugh so it’s funny.”

[indistinguishable question about the fate of the stick]

“Yeah I don’t know what he was thinking there, that would’ve been broken or in the crowd if that was me”

[daftmooncretin]

so basically lestat fucked up louis and louis fucked up armand and armand fucked up daniel but also lestat did fuck up armand. and armand fucked up lestat and louis fucked up lestat and armand fucked up louis also louis fucked up daniel so they are all pretty fucked up emotionally i would say and lestat has feelings for louis but beef with armand and does not know daniel and louis has feelings for lestat AND armand- but armand is a kind of a 70 year rebound- and he hit on daniel in a gay bar and daniel has never met lestat wanted to fuck louis and had a memory wipe situationship with armand and armand has feelings for AND beef with lestat, is lavender married to louis and spent four years stalking daniel to ask him to call paris. so what i am saying here is that unfortunately for the sake of balance lestat and the journalist should have to both fuck and fuck eachother up.

[ratlicker69]

I don’t see any rat licking in here but nonetheless this is awesome

Amazing Rat Tricks

[orangeocelotmartyn]

Ren: (in his sort of posh 'pirate' voice) Do you think pirates could ever find…true love? (voice breaking, as if about to cry) I think not. Or at least. I have never found true love, being a pirate. 'specially one of the rat kind. (he wails) Woe is me. (normal voice) Uh, anyways. (laughs) Still got a couple water sources to, um, to solidify here, guys. (laughs, switches back to 'pirate' voice) One of my fleas has said, "I thought you were supposed to have a wife." I mean, I do have a wife. But she doesn't have to know the life of a pirate. For all she knows…we're just. In her majesty's ratesty--in her royal ratesty's navy. Which we were. But I was mutinied. My crew kicked me off of my own ship, Daisy the Third, and then I turned to a life of pirating. I'm not proud! There were many moments in which I thought to myself, "is this the real me? What have I become? I've lost sight of everything I've ever valued!" (sort of smarmy, flirtatious voice) But then at the same time, theladies, you know? The ladies. (wailing) Ohh, what a life at sea it is.

[starlight-soup]

in light of Neil Banging Out The Tunes day...

[bacchuschucklefuck]

okay unironically I love so much that porter is like this world SUCKS its BAD here and it HURTS you why do you care abt it!!! and literally every single bad kid is like ngl we just hate ur ass it does not matter what ur philosophy is

[thehuggybearslover]

Tkachuk saying that his win was also for the Flames fans cause he couldn't let Edmonton win lmaooooo

[queenshammer]

I feel like a whole bunch of people are going to be disappointed if the Rat Grinders don’t get revived and rehabbed, but like… choices have consequences and yeah they’re teens and it’s tragic, but this is a world full of tragic teens. Like they picked this and they worked towards it and they didn’t have to. I don’t really understand this need for them to be revived because it seems more ethical to people? Like Dane Blade and Penelope Everpetal were manipulated teens and they are fully in hell. I think it would be narratively unsatisfying to bring them back just because they’re kids when they literally left Lucy to rot. Let the tragedy be tragic, come on.

[ewwww-what]

I raise my voice when I tell him I love him!!!

[official-penis-posts]

Official AI-Generated Massive Rat Penis Post

[revitalizationrat]

may we see splinter have a staring contest with the red eared slider that often stares into the void

He's too powerful

Prev/ next

Masterpost

[wszczebrzyszynie]

i finally watched Grians pov + my friend asked me to draw my Grian eating a rat

(translation for the rat eating comic: 1. "Grian! I have some Amazing news!" // 2. "A-ah... am i interrupting?" // 3. (squeak) // 4. "Scaar ... hey...")

[backpackingspace]

More of penelope and odysseus being rat bastards in love please. I know for a fact that these two were menaces to any neighboring kingdoms. They were pulling scams, they committed crimes, I know these two are just the most obnoxious people at a party.

[wildaboutmnhockey]

[gimpwithoutorgans]

So you’re telling me in season 3 I get to experience human Lestat AND I get my favorite version of Armand, psychocunt gremlin sewer rat, back on screen???????????

[theminecraftbee]

can i request three somehow forced into a fake dating situation

Three stares directly into Martyn’s eyes. They are blue and of an average size. It feels as though maybe this should be against the rules, but according to the book it had read, this was… normal. A normal thing to do on a date. Look deeply into someone’s eyes. It would not be suspicious at all, even though Three isn’t really sure how to look more or less deeply into anyone’s eyes at all. Eyes are not flat, but even when Three Looks, it isn’t as though there is anything interesting in there.

Martyn is sweating somewhat. He looks away first.

Three’s pretty sure this counts as a victory, especially given Martyn can’t see Three’s face behind the mask anyway. It is good Three has now won the game of ‘staring lovingly into its date’s eyes’, because that had been a strange, threatening mortal ritual. It would rather not do that again.

“Haha, thanks again for agreeing to this date,” Martyn says, very suspiciously looking around the small cafe in a bustling semi-private Origins server. “It’s been so long since we’ve gotten to hang out like this. Gods, do I sound stupid.”

“You do,” Three says.

“You don’t have to answer those,” Martyn says.

“Will comply,” Three says.

“Oh, for the love of—we’re on a date. A date!” Here, Martyn winks obnoxiously. “It’s not a mission.” He winks obnoxiously again. “Besides, you should lighten up!”

“Will comply,” Three says.

“You know, I had forgotten how obnoxious that was,” Martyn says cheerfully. “Anyway, I should order us some drinks! Have some conversation! Keep an eye out around us, yeah, for our waiter?”

“You are not very subtle,” Three says.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Martyn says. “Besides, honestly? I am really glad to just hang out with you. Because we’re dating! On this server for fancy couples. Yep.”

The problem is, of course, that a fancy origins server is a great place for the strangest of people to hide.

When Martyn had asked a favor, Three had been… uncertain. This was not because Three doesn’t care for Martyn—it does, greatly—or because Three didn’t want to see Martyn—they’d met up a few times before now, tentative and quiet and frustrated and all the things that were hard to explain, and then in all the ways they were okay again—but because Martyn, for all Three cares for him, is still an idiot.

Three is its own handler, now. It does not have to follow handlers that are morons. It had told Martyn this. When Martyn had stopped wheezing, he’d explained that it’d be fun. Not Listener business, he promised; he still hadn’t quite gotten out, but he wouldn’t drag Three in, Scout’s honor.

(Three believes him. It’s never been that Three doesn’t trust him.)

It was a friend of Martyn’s that had gone missing. Apparently, on some fancy modded server? And now, Martyn wanted Three to come help him do some recon because, quote, “Jimmy laughed at me until he cried and that hurt me a little bit, not going to lie, and I’ve used up the favors Ren owes me, and Oli was busy. Have you met Oli? You’d like Oli.”

(Three did not like Oli.)

Three agreed, despite its better judgement. The reason it thought this may be a poor plan was because—

“Ah, the lovely Valentines,” the waiter says. He gives them a plate of lovely heart-shaped calamari. Three wonders if they had belonged to heart-shaped squid. “It’s a lovely evening, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it’s wonderful here with my beloved!” Martyn says.

The waiter and Martyn both look at Three. Three doesn’t say anything and sits perfectly still.

“Um,” the waiter says.

“It’s for a health condition,” Martyn says, which technically isn’t a lie.

“Very well, sirs, although it may get in the way of the kissing competition!”

Martyn, who had just started sipping some wine, chokes on it.

“I will win the kissing competition,” Three says.

Martyn chokes harder.

“I will see you to it!” the waiter says. “And of course, our patented species comparability exam is the highlight of the evening.”

“Oh. I am not sure I can produce viable offspring,” Three says.

The waiter stares at Three. Three stares back, although not into the waiter’s eyes, as to not cause any confusion. The mask somewhat prevents that from working, though.

“Very well then,” the waiter says. “I suppose just—do you need help?”

“It knows what it’s doing,” Martyn hisses.

“I did do research before coming here,” Three says.

“I’ll just head on,” the waiter says, in a tone that suggests to Three that maybe it did not do enough research before agreeing to help Martyn.

Oh well.

At least the mask means it doesn’t have to keep a straight face as it picks Martyn off the ground and, completely flat in tone, says: “Do not die. I would be sad if you died of something as stupid as choking on wine.”

“I asked for this,” Martyn says.

“Yes,” Three says. “You did. That is why I am here.”

(Beneath the table, it grabs Martyn’s hand. Martyn squeezes Three’s hand back. It had missed him, though. For all they do not see each other often—)

(Well. It had missed him, though.)