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anika-ann · 4 years ago

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Conundrum (A.B.)

Type: One-shot, challenge fic

Pairing: Andy Barber x fem!reader Word Count: 7700 (:

Summary: conundrum - a confusing and difficult problem or question

Andy Barber is a difficult man whom you have yet to understand. He certainly doesn’t make it any easier; and right before Christmas, he manages to surprise you again.

Prompt: You have to look for a gift impromptu

Warnings: a smidge of angst, a drop of awkward humour, mention of death (mild AU - both Laurie and Jacob!), alcohol consumption, feels, explicit language, reader gets called a dumbass... that’s it I hope, lemme know

A/N: This is my submission for the Happy Hoelidays challenge. There’s no hoeing tho, shame on me. Also, if you want some music to go with this, know that I listened to ‘God I Hope This Year Is Better Than the Last’ by SYML an obscene amount of times.

Andy Barber was an enigma.

Reporters liked to think he wasn’t; almost a year ago, they tore down all the walls he had built up to protect the privacy of his family and they shed light into startingly intimate details of his life – and where they couldn’t shed light, they used their imagination and sold it with a claim of having a reliable source. Naturally, it worked; there were always people willing to believe it just so they obtained more of juicy gossip material.

There were wanabe psychologists who would address his trauma and tried to analyse his personality, the consequences he would suffer in the aftermath of the tragedy, who attempted to strip down his soul just to get a few more reads and generally talked about him as if they were best friends, as if they knew him.

It was all a load of bullshit.

The truth, you thought, was that no one knew him. If you were being honest, you weren’t sure if even his wife ever had, truly – but that was you under the influence of the little information you bothered to gather from the influx of crap that the media provided the public with.

What you believed was that the reporters and all the self-proclaimed experts on him knew nada.

Andrew Barber was and always would remain an enigma; to the public, to the little what remained of his family after the death of his wife and son, to his co-workers – the category which included you. If you could even call yourself a co-worker; you were simply a secretary. Granted, one whose previous employer let her peek over their shoulder quite a bit so you learned a thing or two about law, but Andy Barber was the lawyer. The former DA from Boston, who moved over to rule the DA office of Portland, your home.

Even after having been working with him for nine full months, Andy’s thoughts and feelings didn’t get any easier for you to read or predict. When he wanted to let you know he was disappointed, he did. When he was truly angry with someone, well, he wouldn’t let it go unnoticed either.

Other than that, however, you would have had better luck trying to decode the actual enigma-encrypted messages sent during World War II.

Small talk didn’t last longer than three sentences from you each. Work-related affaires were discussed in his office with politeness and with calm, rather dispassionate mannerism. If you caught a hint of a smile when an important case that helped people went his way (or the office’s way really), you considered it a miracle that sent your heart reeling.

He would sometimes smile only for you if you brought him a coffee without him asking first, simply because he looked like he needed one; at those times, he would thank you softly and let slip in your first name instead of referring to you with your last. Those were your favourite moments.

Well, almost.

You found him with a tumbler and an expensive whiskey on occasion when you were leaving the office late; you never commented on it, but there were four times he actually silently invited you to have a glass with him. You refused the first time and accepted the other three.

Those nights, you got a glimpse of the mystery of a man hidden behind surprisingly soft mannerism, one which was in such a sharp contrast to his shark-like demeanour he displayed in front of the judge and the jury. His scars ran deep, his hopes had been shattered, his life in the past year as bitter as the overpriced liquor. Your heart cracked for him to the point of nearly breaking altogether.

And yet, it was beating for him too; behind all that hurt, you couldn’t but notice certain gentleness. Yes, he could be scary, downright terrifying and when his temper got the best of him, the true rage on display, he was a force to be reckoned with. But oh, that gentleness. The kind shattered soul he hid so well every morning, more so on the days right after your little heart-to-hearts. Trying to build a working relationship with him – a friendship of a sort, anything you wanted to call it – was a game of push and pull and more of a string of guesses than an effort that would bore fruit.

You might have already given up on that and instead, with the ferocity you hadn’t known you possessed, you kept punching the crush you had on him; that silly thing that would always call louder and louder after he revealed a piece of him on one of the precious nights, only to shut you out completely the next morning.

Andy Barber had never even remotely showed a romantic interest in you and by God, did you not blame him for not being interested in anyone at all as far you knew. While you considered yourself a fairly capable worker and half-decent person, you were aware you could never measure up to him. Just another reason to push down the feelings you had for him, ones that seemed to bloom with more intensity whenever he raised the corners of his damn lips, when he asked a question about you during those stupid nights as if he cared— nonsense. You had to get rid of those. He didn’t even like you, barely acknowledged you in the end. Or did he? You honestly didn’t know.

Bottom line was that if you couldn’t get close enough, then the reporters knew jack shit, no matter how much reading on him they had done or how many books on psychology, criminology and law and shit they went through. Many people knew Andrew Barber’s name, but no one could hope to know him.

And yet, those assholes still called and asked about him.

It was the fourth one that day; December 23rd, over a year from the accusation of Jacob Barber, and those fucking vultures still called Andy Barber’s office. They weren’t even good newspapers and news sites anymore; obviously, because every rational decent person would have let the poor man rest. But nope. Not them.

“Portland’s DA office, secretary of Mr. Barber speaking. How may I help you?”

“Oh, wonderful! Is there any chance I could talk to Mr. Barber personally?” the chipper of a man asked on the other end of the line and just by not giving his name, he raised suspicion; was it forgetfulness caused by his distress or intention?

Fortunately for him and unfortunately for you, you had to be polite. Hot-shot lawyers and other important people rarely returned the courtesy, but that was the world you lived in.

“There might be, Mr-?”

“Oh, Connor. Peter Connor.”

“Well, Mr. Connor, what is your legal issue?” you asked patiently, writing down his name automatically.

“Well, you see, I would rather talk with Mr. Barber about—my delicate situation, in private.”

Your eyes narrowed as you stopped scribbling and spared a brief glance towards the door to Andy’s office. It was opened ajar in what could be an invitation, but all blinds on both the door and the windows were down in typical fashion.

Talk in private?

Yeah, not gonna happen. You knew a few tricks that these assholes calling the office tended to pull and whoever this man was, you were growing more suspicious by the minute that he was not seeking legal advice.

You went back to your notes and wrote down the word liar right next to his name and a question mark. Was he a liar? One way to find out you guessed; you caught your phone between your ear and your shoulder, opening a new tab in your browser to google the name along with a wild guess of him being a reporter.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Connor, I’m afraid I will need more information before I put you through. And I will probably need to make you an appointment, my boss is a very busy man-“

“Oh, is he? Lots of cases in Andrew Barber’s new district, huh?”

The blood in your veins was set aflame even before the search was done, because in an instant, you knew for sure.

And then you had it confirmed by the results.

This jerk had even given you his real name, utterly shameless. Sure, he could have only had the same name as the journalist you found, but what were the chances? Two days after you told his colleague – who had made it through your vetting, got an appointment and even got past the reception desk before you spotted him for what he was – to get lost and not try again?

Your pulse skyrocketed along with your blood pressure. Technically, you didn’t owe Andrew Barber anything, but he was respectful enough, didn’t make much trouble and for most time, was an okay boss to you.

You owed him this much: he was a decent guy. Why couldn’t other people show a shed of basic human decency too and leave him the fuck alone?

“That depends, Mr. Connor,” you purred, barely holding the outrage locked inside. You felt both energized by your anger and achingly tired and done with humanity. You rested your elbows on the desk and leaned onto it with a sigh, massaging the bridge of your nose, eyes closed. “Is he going to have to sue your rag of a newspaper or will you and your colleagues finally get the memo and leave. His. Personal. Life. Alone?!”

You most definitely strained the last words through your teeth, but you didn’t care anymore if you were being rude. He was the fourth reporter today ready to ask about Andy’s personal matters. The FOURTH!! He was lucky you didn’t tell him to go fuck himself… explicitly.

“Are you threatening me?” the man demanded, his voice insulted, losing all traced of pretence.

As if you ever. You knew better than that, working with lawyers.

“Nice try, Mr. Connor. I will thank you to never call this office again unless you have legal issues or a relevant question which you should direct to our PR department anyway. And if you could extend this to all editorial staff, please, preferably to all editorial staff in the United States, that would be splendid. Have a good day. Happy Holidays.”

You slammed the phone down, missing the slot for it, not caring. You were sure he would hang up on his own.

“Asshole,” you muttered under your breath and hid your face in your palms, grunting, fingertips sinking into your hair.

“I hope you don’t mean me,” sounded from the doorway and you yelped, honest to god yelped and straightened in your seat, head snapping up-

-only to meet your boss’ curious gaze. Hurt and anger casted shadows over his beautiful cerulean irises, but there was no mistaking the melancholy and resignation on his face either.

“Of course not!” you blurted out quickly, panic rising in your chest.

How much had he heard? Was he going to fire you for being unprofessional? Did he figure out what was this about— of course he did, there was little room left for doubt. Your choice of words was pretty straightforward.

Andy bounced off of the doorframe he was leaning onto, not easing his stance – his arms remained crossed over his chest and had you not been so alarmed, you would have indulged in the sight of his biceps nearly cutting through the seams of his shirt.

“Why do I get the impression that whoever you were talking to was not the first person to call the office to feed on ‘the misery man’ that Andrew Barber is?” he more stated than asked, his tone unmistakably bitter.

You gulped as he approached your desk, nails digging into your palms. You had no idea what to say. Once again, you couldn’t quite read Andy; you had no idea where this was heading and how you should answer without setting him off, making him sadder or even more bitter. And without getting fired, obviously.

“I—uhm, well, I suppose you heard me, so you know he wasn’t the first—Mr. Barber. I apologize-“ His eyebrows rose a fraction and you didn’t dare to analyse why. “-if I was too loud. But--- humanity sucks.”

The moment the last two words left your mouth, you instantly regretted them, snapping your eyelids close and squeezing. You were sure you were about to have bloody crescents in your palms from your nails at this point.

Did you really just say that? To your boss, no less?

Way to go, me.

“Not wrong there. Why don’t you take your lunch break now?” he offered casually.

You nodded as you felt the tell-tale burn of tears forming in your eyes; fuck, this was humiliating. Why had he had to walk in exactly in that moment? And now using that tone?

He didn’t say anything else and you didn’t dare to look at him. Only when you heard him walk back to his office and close the door behind him, you opened your eyes and released the breath you were holding, your heart hammering in your chest.

Gulping and swallowing your tears before they could escape, you grabbed your purse and your coat, rushing out to the cold air of Portland winter.

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧

Andy didn’t bring up the incident again when you came back. You had a short list of assignments for the upcoming days off which you went over with him before parting ways for the holidays. You mentioned you would probably drop in tomorrow despite not necessarily having to, but wished him Happy Holidays in case you’d miss him during your brief visit.

The corners of his lips twitched at that, but he wished you the same. You supposed his holidays weren’t about to be happy – more like the opposite. Last year, he celebrated with his family, even if it might have been already falling apart. This year however…

Your heart cracked another fraction for the man and you wondered if you should leave some cookies for him in the office tomorrow at least. Then you realized he would probably hate it, either being bitter about feeling like a charity case or hating the reminder of what he had lost, what wasn’t waiting for him at home anymore. Not to mention that maybe even the poinsettia, which you had placed on his office window two days ago and neither of you commented on, was already too much.

The only cookies you baked that night were the ones you knew should stay in a box with apples for over a day, the cookies you were supposed to bring to your sister’s house for Christmas, because your nephew Harry loved them.

With cheesy Christmas songs in the background and a bottle of wine for the party of one, you kneaded the double batch of dough and couldn’t but spare your achingly handsome and likely lonely boss a thought and maybe… maybe a tear or two.

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧

The office was empty when you arrived on 24th at around half past four; everyone left as soon as possible, which was to be expected. Admittedly, despite not knowing what you would talk about with Andy, you found your heart sinking when you didn’t see light peeking through the blinds of your and his offices. You had expected him to be working to avoid being at home; but then again, you knew next to nothing about him. Maybe he was with a girlfriend. With a boyfriend. With former colleagues. With his deceased wife’s family. It was only assumption of yours that he might be lonely on Christmas.

You shook your head at your train of thought as you unlocked your office, mentally going over which files you needed to bring home, trying to eliminate the amount as not to endanger confidential information by taking them away from the safety of the bureau.

You froze in your tracks when you found a rather large piece of paper folded into a roof on your desk. A note, you realized, frowning and slowly walking to the suspicious object.

There were very few people who could enter your space, namely three: the janitor, you and Andy. The first option was unlikely, the second impossible, the third confusing. You didn’t understand why he wouldn’t just shoot you a text if he needed anything.

You halted in your steps, the air knocked out of your lungs when you noticed that the note was not the only new item on your desk.

There was a box.

A box roughly size of your extended palm. And if you weren’t mistaken… it looked like a jewellery gift box.

“What the hell?” you asked yourself breathlessly, your curiosity getting the best of you; more so as you recognized what was most definitely Andy’s handwriting on the paper.

Andrew Barber, your boss, with whom you weren’t sure what your relationship was – if there was any at all – might have got you jewellery.

Say that again?

A tiny voice in your head told you he might have just used the box for something else entirely, but that didn’t seem to be his style.

So you picked up the gift carefully, almost reverently removing the lid, your heart pounding in your chest, stomach twisting with pleasant anticipation; with the familiar rush that kids feel when opening a present with high hopes of what could await them inside.

Your lips parted in pure shock, you mind turning blank.

There were no words in English language to express how… how absolutely magnificent the bracelet inside was.

Five thin circles with symbols made of slender lines inside, looking like charms, but withing the body of the bracelet, one clasped to the next one with delicate ellipses. The metal reflected the fluorescent lights of the office, glimmering softly, appearing almost fluid, a thin stream of water trapped in a box.

You actually had to blink and it took all your willpower not to pinch yourself, because—how-

How had he known? Where had he got it? Holy mother of Jesus, how much had he spent on it?

And why get you a gift in the first place? You were… acquaintances at best. Yes, there were almost friendly moments, and then there were those nights, but this was---this- you couldn’t even---- think, apparently.

Keeping an eye on the opened box, you gently placed it back on the desk, afraid to even touch the metal itself. You blindly reached into your purse in search for your phone to dial the only number that made sense for you to dial at that moment.

It sure as hell wasn’t Andy’s.

Nothing but a dialling tone sounded for half a minute, the time seemingly endless. You fell heavily into your chair, still staring at the absolutely gorgeous and thoughtful gift.

How did he know?!

You fought the urge to roll your eyes as your sister still didn’t answer the phone and your hand automatically reached for your necklace to toy with.

And that was when it hit you.

Your necklace; one you got from your sister during the period of your biggest obsession with the Divergence series. Two arrows in a circle pointing different directions, the symbol for a ‘divergent’ person. Your eyes wandered over the five circles of the bracelet – scales, an eye, hands connected, a flame, a tree –, an incredulous chuckle escaping you.

But--- you didn’t think he would notice. You didn’t even wear it all the time, rather often, yes, and yeah, perhaps you did have a bit of a bad habit of fumbling with it when nervous-

“Hey sis! What’s up?” Amber’s voice sounded cheerily from the microphone. You jumped in your seat, startled by her as she interrupted your musing. “Please tell me you’re still coming, because Harry wouldn’t shut up about his favourite chocolate chip.”

You cleared your throat, barely able to comprehend what she was talking about, too caught up in your head.

“I—hi. Uhm- I need help actually,” you finally stuttered and you could practically feel her frown even over the phone.

“Oh? Is everything okay? You sound… a little strange.”

“That’s-“ not wrong. You scanned the office and listened in for the tinniest noise, making sure you were still alone. “I’m at the office and I--eh, I found a gift for me.”

“Awww, a secret admirer? Nice!” Amber chuckled, then abruptly stopped. “…unless it’s a stalker. You don’t think you have a stalker, right? Is that why you called me, so I could tell George? He’s not on duty-“

This time you did roll your eyes at the mention of her husband who happened to be a police officer.

“No, Amber, I have no stalker as far as I know. I’m pretty sure I can recognize my boss’ handwriting at this point.”

Nothing but silence could be heard from the other end for a good minute. You bit your lip in anticipation of… something.

And then: “You’re shitting me.”

“Not really-“

“Holy mother of-!” your sister squealed loudly and you winced, instinctively withdrawing from the phone. “Your boss got you a Christmas present?! --Wait. Is it a Walmart card? Because if it is, then this call is pointless, because that’s boring as-“

“No, Amber, he—he gave me a bracelet,” you admitted softly, your gaze once again wandering over the said object. Beautiful. Fragile. Yours, apparently. What?

When Amber only responded with silence again, words suddenly spilled from your lips, all the mixed feelings you had about receiving the bracelet released, relief singing in your veins as you vented.

“And-and it’s actually really beautiful and--- it’s thoughtful, because it has all the fractions from Divergence on it? But not like something you buy for ten dollars, only paying for the copyright or whatever and the quality is shitty, no, I mean--- it looks pretty, eh, delicate.”

It did, awfully so, which was why you still couldn’t make yourself to touch it even if you really, really liked it and wanted to do nothing but to wear it for the rest of your damn life.

“And expensive. I-- I think it might be real silver and…” you wavered, almost scared to share your last observation out loud for it seemed impossible for it to be true. “Amber, you know I looked through a lot of Divergence-related goods so I would know. It- it doesn’t look familiar at all, it’s--- I think it might be custom-made.”

You choked on the last word, tasting so strange on your tongue as you couldn’t quite believe that you were saying it. You felt--- incredulous to put it simply… and touched and- absolutely bewildered.

Silence stretched in the follow-up to your rambling and you felt your brows drawing together.

“…Amber? You there?”

“Oh yeah, I’m here,” she assured you swiftly, mischief curling around the tone of her voice like a smirk on her lips you couldn’t see. “Just wondering how could you not tell me you started sleeping with him-“

“What?! No!” you protested instantly, straightening in the chair. “I’m not—I’m not his sugar baby or whatever! This is not a ‘thank you for letting me fuck you raw’ gift-“

“Not that you would complain from what I heard and saw-“ she hummed playfully.

She was right. But shush!

“Screw you!”

“George does, that’s why we have Harry in the first place,” she sassed you. “But… sis? What kind of a gift it is then?”

And wasn’t that the question.

“I… I don’t know.”

“Well, you should, because from what you told me, you guys aren’t even friends. Nota bene, this isn’t exactly a gift you give to a friend,” she pointed out, addressing one of the million issues concerning the damn (gorgeous) bracelet.

“I-- I guess?” You were sure, in fact. This was something to give to a… well, to a lover, to a partner. “But- Amber, he doesn’t--- that’s not-“

“What did the note say?”

“Huh?”

“You said you recognized his handwriting,” she reminded you slowly as if speaking to a five-year-old. “What does the note say?”

You glanced at the note again noncommittally, remembering exactly what it said. Pretty much nothing. Definitely nothing to go on.

“Uhm… Thank you. Happy Holidays.”

There was a beat of silence, again. “That’s it?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Eloquent.” You rolled your eyes at her sarcastic tone. She should see him at court. True though, on personal level, he wasn’t exactly chatty. Unless he opened up a bit over a glass of whiskey--- anyway, she had a point, obviously. “What are you gonna do?”

That snapped you from your musing like a shot of life into your bloodstream.

“That’s why I’m calling! I should-- I should get him something too, right?” Right?! Absolutely. “Oh god, I hate last-minute shopping. And I don’t even have a fucking clue what to buy! Well, a good whiskey is always a safe bet I guess, but supporting his drinking habits doesn’t sound like a good idea. Plus, it’s kinda… impersonal with comparison to what he gave me.”

Though if there was one thing you learned about Andy Barber, it was that he could appreciate the high-quality liquor, so perhaps it wouldn’t have been as impersonal as one might think.

“Well, I don’t know him so I can’t really help, but what you got from him should definitely give you a clue.”

“A clue?” you parroted, confused.

“I don’t mean like a clue for what you should buy him. But… look, even if you didn’t suspect that it’s custom-made, which whoa, he has to pay a lot of attention to buy you something like this. Much more attention than you thought.”

“…okay?”

“He likes you, you dumbass! It doesn’t matter what you get him, he’ll be happy you got him anything in the first place!”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” you deadpanned, unsure which statement you were referring to. That he liked you or that you shouldn’t take care to choose something that would really bring him at least a little joy.

You tried your best to ignore how your heart skipped the beat at the former.

“Whatever. Harry’s throwing a hungry eye on me, I gotta go fix him a snack unless I want him to eat all the candy again. Good luck!”

“Amber!“ you called out in honest despair, panic rising in your chest, only to get no answer.

You pulled the phone from your ear to look at the screen, already knowing what awaited you.

Disconnected.

Fuck.

It seemed you were on your own. Wasn’t that wonderful?

You shot your sister a simple ‘I hate you’ text, the gears in your head already turning frantically in order to figure out what you could get Andy.

Amber replied with a set of laughing emojis within seconds. Bitch, leaving you alone to deal with a situation like this! What a sister she was.

You sighed, admiring the delicate lines of the bracelet again, torn between indulgence and guilt. There was no questioning whether you should buy Andy something too.

Say yay for the last-minute shopping for a man out of your league and whom you had no idea what you should get.

You were utterly at loss, growing anxious not only about the difficult choice of a gift, but also about possible delivery, wondering what should you even tell him and when.

Maybe though…. just maybe, you were getting kinda excited about what you were about to do too.

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧

Three hours.

You spent almost three hours at the mall where you could barely breathe because of the crazy crowds and yet you were none the wiser; your excitement left you quickly, once again replaced by despair. It took you three hours and passing the lingerie shop four times, a shop with pieces on display that barely covered anything, intended for either bedroom games or a swimming pool, before it finally hit you.

You cursed under your breath, calling yourself an idiot in murmur loud enough to have few people around you look at you in surprise.

“Dumbass, I’m such a dumbass,” you continued your monologue as you fished out your phone, quickly scrolling through your contacts.

To say that the person on the other end was shocked to hear from you at this time of month and hour was an understatement.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, Lee. I have… eh, a favour to ask…”

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧

You were being ridiculous.

Absolutely and utterly ridiculous as you stood on a modest porch in front of a small family house, the roof hiding you from the intrusive drizzle but not keeping you quite safe from the wind as you clutched your handbag to your side as if it was your lifeline, cursing yourself for not wearing a scarf in December.

Your nose was practically freezing, your cheeks burned from the wind and your hands were cold too, because you were stupidly underdressed; as if you haven’t lived in Portland your whole life.

But that wasn’t the main issue; an Uber dropped you off about five minutes ago and still, here you were, standing outside and trying to convince yourself to ring the bell.

The plan had been to finish packing a bag and leave around 10 p.m. to your sister’s house, where you would spend the night so you could be with her family on Christmas Day from the very beginning. But then Andrew fucking Barber, your fabulous boss, left a gift in your office, a breath-taking bracelet now sitting low on your right wrist, and it all went to hell.

Maybe you could still make it to your sister’s house – it was shortly after nine, your bag waiting on your bed, so maybe you should just call another Uber and be on your way. Maybe you could leave the silly envelope in the post-box just so you wouldn’t have to deal with Andy’s reaction; after all, he had chosen the same approach; cookies be damned, there would be more left for Harry then-

But you really, really wanted to thank him. And you might be shitting your pants, but the prospect of seeing him in a domestic environment, possibly more relaxed, perhaps nearing the man you had had the honour to see on those nights… you couldn’t make yourself to pass on that opportunity.

At the same time, you kept reminding yourself that Andy did not expect to see you tonight, he might not even be home – you were pretty sure a dim light was coming from the living room, the TV on probably, but yeah, you could keep lying to yourself – and that he might be grieving and genuinely might hate you for invading his privacy since you had to search his home address in the official documents.

Yeah, you definitely should just spin on your heels and-

“Oh for God’s sake,” you muttered under your breath and pressed the doorbell, your heart suddenly hammering in your ribcage as you realized there were no takebacks now. “Shit.”

Maybe you should just run. What if he had fallen asleep already and you just woke him up?! Oh, he was so going to be pissed and he might even show that emotion, screaming you down like he did one with that intern-

A scruffle on the other side of the door snapped you from your hopeless expectations and you sucked in a horrified breath.

And then the door slid open before you could react and you were certain you looked like a deer caught in the headlights, a semi-frozen deer to make the situation worse and--- there he was.

You quickly dropped your gaze, only then realizing how rude that was and that you should meet his eye no matter how much you did and did not want to do so at the same time. As you gaze travelled up, you found that a domestic Andy was everything you imagined he would be; black socks, loose dark grey sweats, pale t-shirt slightly wrinkled. One of his arms hung loosely by his side, the other still at the door-knob as you continued your inspection, gaze caressing the line of his bare forearm, reaching the sleeves that were hugging his biceps precisely. Broad shoulders, perfectly trimmed beard framing plush lips with the slightest hint of a curious smile.

You smiled awkwardly as your eyes met his watching you with interest, dimmed with a hint of a doze-off you must have woken him up from. You tried not to dwell on the inconspicuous redness surrounding his irises.

“I’m sorry if I woke you up!” you blurted out quickly, rewarded with a light shake of his head and a stifled yawn; subtle.

“You didn’t. Hi,” he greeted you, only to make you realize that 1. you forgot to say hi and 2. his post-nap voice was a thing from wet dreams-- which was definitely not relevant at that moment.

“Hi,” you offered unsurely, eyes roaming his face, searching for any trace of anger. All you found was bewilderment; if pleasant or not, you couldn’t tell.

“I’m sorry for barging in. I just… uhm- I wanted to thank you and-“

The hint of a smile on his lips grew a fraction, expression softening at your admission and before you could find your footing, he opened the door further, subtly extending his hand to usher you in.

Your heart skipped a beat, the strangest feeling tickling your gut, teeth sinking into your lower lip, the grip on your handbag growing stronger. Yet you accepted, taking two reluctant steps inside. The door clicked shut behind you, sealing whatever fate awaited you.

Attempting not to look too nosy, you turned back to Andy rather than scanning the hall.

Words got stuck in your throat. As tired as he looked, worn to a bone by everything but physical exercise, you couldn’t but marvel at what a handsome man he was, even without his smart suits and ties and neatly styled fluffy hair; it was still very fluffy, just more of a mess than a fashion statement.

God, wasn’t he beautiful.

He kept looking at you too in mute anticipation of something, appearing mildly lost just as you were, giving the impression of a man who couldn’t tell what to expect.

Your gaze locked with his, unyielding, a gorgeous trap and you knew you had to say or do something before your heart gave out entirely.

Your mouth opened, no words coming out and you cursed yourself, simply opening the bag and pulling out a Tupperware box with half the cookies you baked last night, practically shoving it to Andy’s capable hands.

He accepted the item with eyebrows shooting up once before settling back, eyes misting for a moment. His fingertips brushed yours as he took a firm hold of the box, the not-quite-there smile of his remaining on his lips.

He seemed perplexed.

You felt like an idiot.

“This feels so silly now,” you admitted with a sigh, realizing the absurdity of the situation only accented by the fact that you stood there in the hall of his home in your coat and high-boots, ridiculously overdressed in comparison to him.

“It’s not,” he whispered finally, forcing the corners of his mouth to rise higher. “Thank you. Didn’t know you baked. Should have figured.”

You shrugged. “Never came up.”

Something shifted in his expression as did in the air; you knew he sensed it too. The unspoken hung between you, that you meant not in your daily routine at the office, but on your private nights, so rare and precious, so desperately pretended to be non-existent the next morning.

Your gaze lowered as the silence fell on your pair again and you awkwardly shifted your weight from one leg to the other. His Adam’s apple bobbed.

“So, uh-“

“Thank you for the bracelet. Really. It was-” you licked your lips, meeting his eyes again, so deep, so blue and somehow soft and you forgot what you were about to say. “Eh- I wasn’t expecting it. I-- I didn’t think you’d… notice. And--- care.”

His brows furrowed for a bit and he placed the box on the shoe rack next to him; an action he soon regretted you guessed, because his fingers went for his wrist as if he wanted to readjust his cufflinks, a nervous habit of his, only to meet bare skin. Good to know you weren’t the only one iffy in this conversation.

“But you liked it?” he asked almost shyly and the corners of your lips rose on instinct as did you right hand, the sleeve of your coat sliding down a fraction, enough to reveal the new accessory. “Looks pretty on you.”

Your breath hitched as his fingers gently slid over one of the symbols, brushing over the sensitive skin of your wrist. His gaze returned to yours, a flicker of something heated in his eyes, calling butterflies to your stomach.

Lord have mercy.

“Thanks- uhm--- thank you. Here, I got you something too.” You quickly reached into the handbag again to hide how flustered you felt – for a different reason than awkwardness.

He had touched your wrist and you turned into a blushing mess. Fabulous. And to make the matter more humiliating, now a twinkle of amusement played in his irises.

“You gave me a plant. And cookies.”

“Yeah. Kinda? But that was more of a… gesture?” you offered reluctantly as you handed him the envelope. “I uh—this is probably stupid, but, uhm--- here.”

“Stop putting yourself down,” he muttered darkly, causing your cheeks to burn hotter. “Thank you. You didn’t have to get me anything.” Pulling out the firm colourful paper, he blinked a few times, seemingly surprised. Ha, you bet he expected a Walmart card! Instead, there was a voucher for five entrances to the swimming pool where your friend Lee worked at. “Oh. Thank you. That’s really nice of you.”

A stone the size of Texas fell from your stomach and you couldn’t help the sigh of relief. Andy seemed genuinely pleased by your choice of gift and you felt your whole body relax.

“It’s just… eh, just for half an hour each and you can pick them on a horizon of three months. I’m not sure how often you like going, so… uhm, my friend works at the place, so you just give her a call and it shouldn’t be a problem to book it for mornings right before the opening hours,” you explained lamely, earning a puzzled look.

“How did you know I liked going when no one’s there?”

That caused one corner of your lips twitch in slight amusement and your eyebrow arch, even if his reasons weren’t exactly funny; his cheeks flushed a hint of red, a sight to behold for more than one reason. It was nice to have the roles reserved, you making him feel flustered for once.

Really? The rather quiet lone-wolf Andy Barber, followed by reporters still, just asked you this? Cute.

“…that’s fair,” he said and for a brief second, you were afraid you had shared your thoughts out loud. But he didn’t look offended, so probably not. The self-awareness then. “Thank you.”

“No problem. I’m-eh, glad you like it.”

You stood there again, both smiling – a little reluctantly, a little soft – and once again you had no idea how to proceed.

What you did know was that you enjoyed talking to him, even if it was awkward like this. You enjoyed seeing him in his natural habitat, in his home, relatively relaxed. You thrived seeing more of this Andy Barber, just a handsome guy, not Andrew Barber, the hot-shot lawyer.

He was the first to break the silence, hesitantly gesturing further into the house.

“Would you—would you like to-“

YES! was what you brain screamed.

“Oh, I don’t want to be a bother…” was what you told him, mentally cuffing yourself on the head.

“You’re not,” Andy opposed lowly. The whisper of your name that followed made you shiver.

His gazed trailed all over your face, so intense you would swear he saw right into your soul and further. You felt naked, but for some reason not too vulnerable – Andy seemed to like what he saw, expression genuinely inviting and yet. Yet there was a subtle promise of this not being a friendly invite which was as exciting as unsettling. The air appeared the crackle and you found yourself yearning to taste the electricity on your tongue.

“May I?”

He beckoned to your coat, suddenly free hands already rising and all you could do was to nod, automatically placing your handbag on the floor and unbuttoning the garment. Once if fell open, revealing simple black jeggings and a light pink sweater, Andy sidestepped you, fingers sliding under the hem, cautiously skimming over the bare skin above your collarbones, leaving a burning sensation in their wake.

The warmth of his fingertips seeped into your flesh and yet you shuddered, goosebumps rising on your skin.

You watched Andy put your coat away with care, turning back to you torturously slowly. He filled all of your personal space, so close and too far. You weren’t sure when exactly the air turned so heavy in your lungs, but as your gaze travelled to his lips, not missing how his sought yours in return, you felt all the oxygen leave the room.

“Andy,” the word rolled off your tongue, nothing but a soundless breath of his name.

His gaze flickered from your eyes to your lips again and back before he spoke, voice barely above a whisper, hoarse.

“Am I imagining it?”

He didn’t have to say what and still you knew with absolute certainty that he was addressing the unbearable and delicious tension, the one that had been building and coming to life during those three nights you had spent talking in his office late--- and now it was back with smouldering intensity.

“You’re not.”

You shivered and gulped when he cautiously took a single little step further into your space, your gaze falling to his chest, lowering in sudden surge of the deep-rotted insecurity, whispering about your and his world being thousands of miles apart. And yet, your heart raced in anticipation, your hopes dizzyingly high that you might touch heaven, even if for a few moments.

When his fingertips grasped your jaw, tough light and oh so careful, your eyelids fluttered close, already indulging in the sensation. God, his touch was so soft despite the roughness of his fingertips…

As if he wished to torture you or to indulge that sweet little moment before lips met lips, he stopped an inch from his destination, his breaths as wavering as yours, the words whispered straight into your mouth just a little broken.

“I’m fucked up.”

Your brain basked in blissful fog, but this got across, causing you to tense briefly.

You couldn’t deny what he was saying, you both knew he spoke the ultimate truth – well, you guessed. What had happened to him, having his life dismantled and then losing his family, that sort of thing was bound to leave a scar. Confirming it bluntly though, that felt unforgiving, only adding insult to injury.

“We all are,” you whispered instead, not only because you wouldn’t say ‘fucked up’, the words too harsh.

And it wasn’t trivializing the tragic turn his life had taken. It wasn’t downplaying the depth of his wounds. It wasn’t necessarily implying that you had been through something equally horrible either. Most importantly, it wasn’t you mocking him.

And somehow, he understood that; even if he could have interpreted it in every wrong way imaginable and shove you away, insulted, disgusted.

But no, in that fleeting moment that meant everything, Andy understood that this was your acceptance; this was you telling him that you were willing to try; take whatever he offered and give anything you could in return.

Finally, his lips brushed over yours, slightly chapped and oh so warm and delicious, withdrawing too soon, leaving you to savour the taste as your ran your tongue over your own lips. You inhaled shakily, overwhelmed by everything that was him, powerful, electrifying and then your hand was somehow on his chest, your palm laid over his racing heart, your fingers twitching as his ribcage expanded with a sharp inhale.

Blindly, your mouth searched his again, his whiskers tickling softly and scratching at once, a pleasant sensation on your sensitive skin as he grew bolder, and truly attached your lips in a kiss that made you feel lightheaded with the emotion poured into it. Your hand curled around his nape, an instinct to pull him closer, fingers toying with the short soft hair there, drawing a hum from within the expanse of his chest.

You granted him access to your mouth when he wordlessly asked, but it was him who retreated shortly after that, his heart now appearing as if in pain with its furious beats under your palm. His breaths started coming out short and it dawned to you what was wrong. How fast this could have felt to him, even if he was the one to start it.

‘I’m fucked up,’ he had said. Too caught in the moment, you hadn’t fully realized the extent of his words perhaps.

But you did now – at least a little better than before.

So when he rested his forehead against yours and a breathless ‘sorry’ slipped from his lips, you shook your head lightly and planted a kiss on his cheek, hand still on the back of his head, fingers running over his scalp in a hopefully soothing motion.

“I’ve got you, Andy. You lead.”

You had no strength to keep him close when he pulled his face away, your eyes snapping open in fright that you had said something terribly wrong.

But Andy’s cerulean eyes were big and glassy, grateful and softly speaking about him being… moved by your proposition. Your heart felt like it just grew twice its size, too big to fit into your chest at what a breath-taking picture he was.

The next thing you knew, he dropped a chaste kiss to your forehead and pulled you into his arms, an almost protective embrace, kissing the top of your head for a good measure and you melted against his large frame, smiling into t-shirt.

“Thank you,” he murmured breathlessly into your hair and your smile widened, remembering the note he had left with the exquisite gift that had started everything that led you right here into this moment.

“Happy Holidays.”

Thank you for reading! I’ve been sitting on this since the beginning of damn November. I hope you enjoyed.

It was my first (and maybe last) time writing Andy, so I hope it was alright. Feedback always appreciated.

P.S. – sorry if the nosy reporters thing offended you.

P.P.S. - …I know, the prompt was veeery loosely filled. Shush.

Pretty divider by whismicalrogers.

#happyhoelidays2020 #andy barber x reader #andy barber imagine #andy barber x you #defending jacob #post defending jacob #andy barber #holiday fic #christmas fic #andy barber fluff #andy barber angst #andy barber fanfiction #andy barber fanfic #fanfiction #challenge fic #conundrum #anika ann

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jentlemahae · 3 years ago

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(Album Review) Sticker by NCT 127 – Did It Really Stick?

Just last week, South Korean group NCT 127 – numbers referring to the longitude coordinate of Seoul – released their long-awaited, third full-length album, Sticker, which immediately caused an uproar among their fans. Some really loved it, while some really hated it (and were not silent about it). It’s the so-called ‘third album syndrome’, where artists create a record that is so new even for them, that it ends up being polarizing for the fanbase. Sticker might have been just that for 127, as fans are either calling it a masterpiece or a huge disappointment – no in-between.

(Those who are already familiar with NCT 127 may skip the following section. Those who are not – buckle up!)

A beginner’s guide to NCT

For those who may not know, NCT (short for “Neo Culture Technology”) is a boy-group under SM Entertainment. The band has been able to stand out from the KPOP landscape since its very debut, and not only because of their music and talents, but also thanks to their distinctive concept. In a nutshell, the idea is that the group can have an unlimited (or infinite) number of members, as fresh new boys can be added to the lineup at any given time. So far, they have accumulated 23 members, divided into four different subunits – NCT 127, NCT DREAM, WayV (fixed units), and NCT U (rotational unit).

Each subgroup has its own characteristic sound and/or concept, but there is one thing they have in common – they are all known for going against the current, be it musically or style-wise. In fact, they are considered the pioneers of the takeover on KPOP by ‘noise music’. But what is noise music? Sometimes affectionately called ‘pots and pans’, it is a genre characterized by an expressive use of sound that is not bound to traditional music rules, and encapsulates different chords and types of notes within a song. Nowadays, it has become the main style of the 4th Generation, and NCT were the ones who truly popularized it to the current audience (despite being 3rd Gen).

NCT 127’s approach to noise music is particularly fascinating. Fans describe their sound as ‘NEO’, which is confusing and vague unless you are familiar with their discography – then it makes perfect sense! The group always takes noise music to the next level, yet manages to not make it sound completely nonsensical and (too) migraine-inducing.

Now that you are all up to speed, we can proceed with the actual review!

Sticker – peeling the songs off

After weeks of teasers and hints, NCT 127 finally unveiled to their eager, hungry fans their new single and album, Sticker. This record perfectly encapsulates the cornucopia of sounds that the band is known for, as the songs go from EDM to hip-hop to heart-warming ballads. And of course, the group’s signature sound – the pots and pans are here, louder and stronger than ever. But enough chit-chat for now – let’s go through the album together.

Sticker (8.5/10)

NCT 127 made the bold choice to open the record with the title track, Sticker. Why ‘bold choice’? Well, let’s just say the song is not exactly easily digestible… The melody is a plethora of sounds, yet feels almost empty and subdued to the vocals at the same time. It is a bacchanal of frenzied beats and a dirty bass line accompanied by a shrill flute and piano, with cut-throat raps and beautiful harmonies that are disjointed from the overall melody. Sticker is chaos, but an intentional one, thus its instability manages to captivate you whilst disarming you.

Truth be told, I was a bit taken aback by the song when I first listened to it. Nothing appeared to make sense to my ears, as they seem to be fighting with the beat (and losing) throughout the entire track. But that’s exactly the point. The disconnection between the instrumentals and the singing is clearly done on purpose, perhaps in order to further highlight the members’ impressive vocals, which overpower and outbalance the otherwise empty beat. Or maybe the purpose was just to render the song more impactful, which sure as hell worked – you may not like Sticker, but the song is likely to remain stuck in your head one way or another.

Lemonade (8.3/10)

The second track was teased by the group prior to the official release of the album with a track video, and was immediately loved by fans. This catchy B-side includes an addictive deep bass which makes the perfect beat for both powerful raps and hefty vocals, a signature cocktail in NCT music.

The song is so good that a puzzling question immediately erupted following the release of the record, and spread like wildfire within 127’s fanbase – why wasn’t ‘Lemonade’ the title track? After all, everyone likes it, both fans and non-fans, and it could easily be something you’d expect to find at the top of the charts. In contrast to Sticker, on which everybody seems to be divided. So, wouldn’t it make sense for it to be the title track, given its striking popular appeal?

The answer is no. What some fans don’t seem to understand is that when it comes down to KPOP title tracks (especially nowadays), the issue is not whether it is the best or the catchiest song on the record. The real question is, does it make an impact? Given how new KPOP groups are popping up left and right, managing to leave enough of an impression on the listeners can make or break a career. The title track needs to be instantly stuck in your mind, and for that Sticker fits the bill, as Lemonade sounds just like any other song you could hear in the first 30 minutes of Inkigayo. It’s good, but ordinary. It just doesn’t cut it, and NCT 127 clearly know that.

Breakfast (8/10)

Third song on the record, Breakfast feels reminiscent of past SM boy groups’ releases, namely SHINee’s song Prism from the album 1 and 1. The song encompasses bright melodies and retro beats with a modernized twist, which serve as a perfect mix with the members’ voices. The song’s main stars are the vocalists (particularly HAECHAN, whose tone works wonders with the genre), while the raps are tamer for the group’s standard.

Focus (9/10)

The fourth track is a mid-tempo R&B romantic song, a genre that is characteristic of 127’s B-sides and displays the group’s more soulful edge. Focus flawlessly showcases the members’ honeyed and warm vocals (especially JAEHYUN’s), and the slow lazy-like raps remind of early 2000’s sultry slow jams. This track was an immediate fan-favorite (as attested by yours truly).

The Rainy Night (9.5/10)

The Rainy Night is an R&B-tinged ballad reminiscent of boybands in the 90’s, and is the perfect follow-up to Focus, as vocals appear to be the true protagonists of both songs. In the track, TAEIL manages to stand out in particular by showing off his impressive range, with his beautiful adlibs on the suit-and-tie beat.

Far (6.2/10)

Next up is Far, characterized by a boom-clap drumline and a chanted chorus. Despite being rather forgettable, it is a good song after all – something straight out of a superhero movie soundtrack. It just sounds like something we’ve heard before at least a million times from about any KPOP boy group out there.

Bring The Noize (6.6/10)

Bring The Noize is about as NEO as it can get, with loud and thunderous beats, growling raps and sounds mimicking a car engine, which together make you feel as if your head were in a blender. Just like Sticker, this song is pure chaos, but of an overwhelming and impetuous kind because of its packed production. Yet, I think that’s where it all goes sideways – Bring The Noize is just too overwhelming, because it’s too crowded. On top of the production overflowing with sounds and effects, the vocal aspect of the song is simply too much. All members sing or rap on the track, but the variety of vocal colors is disarming and confusing to the ears in the worst way. Simply put, some members could have stayed silent in that recording booth…

Magic Carpet Ride (6.4/10)

Doing a full 180 from the previous track, Magic Carpet Ride is a ballad with pop elements, and a melodic beat that particularly shows off DOYOUNG and JAEHYUN’s vocals. Despite being a lovely song, it’s nothing particularly exceptional – it’s good for what it is, but it falls slightly flat and forgettable. Nevertheless, it does a wonderful job in proving that not every KPOP song needs a rap part…

Road Trip (7.3/10)

Road Trip shows off 127’s more boyish and bright side, with nice layers of guitar, drums and delicate vocals, proving once again how the band’s is not just a loud gimmick. The song is enjoyable – however, it’s not something we haven’t heard before from NCT. It’s sweet and lovely, but it’s definitely nothing to write home about.

Dreamer (7.4/10)

This upbeat song gives yet another sweet and poppy feel to the tracklist, with retro beats, trumpet riffs and a happy-go-lucky melody. Dreamer kinda sounds like something out of an Old Navy commercial, but I mean it in a good way – its funky, childlike charm combined with the uplifting lyrics is likely to put a smile on your face!

Promise You (7.2/10)

127 chose to end the album with a letter dedicated to their fanbase, NCTzens. Due to the ongoing pandemic, groups have not been able to meet fans in a long time as they normally would. In Promise You they sing about being separated from a loved one and then being reunited again, which is likely a nod towards their fans. Musically, the song intertwines retro-inspired beats with atmospheric synths, that give it a dreamy-like appeal. The track is sweet and serves as a great album closer, as wrapping up the record with DOYOUNG singing “So stay” in a longing yet reassuring tone, feels like the perfect goodbye.

So, did it stick?

Overall, Sticker is a very well-made album – it has ballads, upbeat tracks, addictive songs, and a decent dose of the good ol’ pots and pans. Does it sound like something we have never heard before in KPOP? No! Does it sound like something we’ve never heard before from NCT? Also… No… But whilst the record follows a similar algorithm to 127’s past albums, it is still incredibly enjoyable without sounding boring or too déjà vu. It has a good 50/50 mix of experimental songs to ballads and R&B-influenced tracks, and it leaves room for both rappers and vocalists to shine.

The album truly screams ‘NCT 127’ – it’s experimental, not sonically cohesive, confusing, and a little weird. Plus, just like all of the group’s music, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. Or better yet, it’s not at first listen. Sticker might be odd and disarming, but it will get to you eventually – you just gotta let it stick.

8/10

#i had MANY things to say <3 #i hope someone liked it ^_^#btw this has not been through the editor yet <3 hope it's good :D #soph.txt

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holycow99 · 3 years ago

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石田お寿司 29/7/21 stream translation Part 1

T/n: This is not the full translation of the stream. I only translated the parts I could understand & interpret or parts I found interesting/important. I’m still a beginner in Japanese, so the translations may not be accurate. If you want to repost, please repost at your own risk. I’ve changed the format as this format seems better. I’ll be writing in this format from now on.

*Someone asked him about his throat.

I: My throat? It’s normal. (t/n: He had a sore throat a few weeks ago)

I: I was asleep when chp 5 was released. It was already dark when I woke up.

*People in the comment praised chp 5.

I: Thank you, thank you. I’m glad you liked it.

C: I’m waiting for the translation!

I: It coming soon. (t/n: He’s speaking in eng.) It sounds like a wrong eng.

C: Are you right handed?

I: Yes, I am.

I: For chapter 6, I’ll probably finish drawing it if I work until the day after tomorrow, even though I haven’t made any progress at all. After that, I’ll add in the typesetting and then it’ll probably finished around 2nd or 3rd August. I’d be bad if I couldn’t get it done after I’ve said this.

C: Fumi (Jack Jeanne’s character) plays erhu? (t/n: OP’s referring to JJ OST album’s illustration.)

I: Yeah. Kosemura Akira (composer for Jack Jeanne) wanted to use erhu when composing Fumi’s theme song. So, he asked a famous person to play it. It’s really rare to have erhu in songs. Not many people in Japan play it. Why did he choose erhu? Then, when imagining what kind of instruments suit each character, for Kai, he has that deep, bass feeling. So, his instrument is double bass. Piano is Kisa. Suzu is, of course, all about hitting the beat. Drum is an important instrument in rhythm creation. For yonaga, it’s a wind instrument. I want him to play a pipe. You won’t understand even if I talk about it. Should I leave the picture here? Wait a min, let me show you.

*Someone commented about Tokyo revengers’ illustration.

I: Oh yes, I did an illustration of Tokyo Revengers’ Mikey. I want to draw Draken as well.

*He showed the illustration of JJ’s characters with instruments.

I: I drew Shirota playing guitar. For some reason, I imagined he could play guitar. And then, instruments like viola (referring to Neji). Otori plays maracas.

I: That’s how it is. And then, we have the Sui exhibition in Nagoya. I’ve been writing report on the event. Isn’t it amazing? Probably not. It’s for myself after all. Rather than for myself, I’d get mixed up if the exhibition is held in a lot of places.

*He started Playing Ghosts n’ Goblins.

C: I really want to play Ghosts n’ Goblins, but it seems so stressful.

I: It’s not stressful, rather you’d feel angry.

*Giant monsters appeared.

I: Just now on discord, Goubaru texted me saying he wanted to call me, but I rejected. He’s expressing his anger right now. (t/n: He referred the monsters stomping the ground as angry Goubaru.)

C: Sensei, there’s no love counselling session today?

I: It seems like some of you were happy when I gave love advice. There’s someone who became a couple with her childhood friend. She said she’s gonna talk to her bf once again. What was the problem again? Something like she had trouble chatting with her bf through mail. I advised her not to then. Hahaha.

C: Do you remember people who always watch your livestream?

I: Not at all. I do remember you *****-san. (t/n: He mentioned OP’s name)

I: I tried listening to my own stream while working. When I listened to it, I realised I have a tendency to pick comments from specific people. There’re people who know to comment at the right timing, like Y****. (t/n: He mentioned the fan he always chats with) It seems like I pick them based on the colour (?), name length, and comments that are easy to pick. Weirdly enough, I always end up reading the comments from the same people.

*He’s fighting another angry and aggressive Goubaru.

C: Is Goubaru usually like this?

I: I wonder… I think so. But, he often wore this kind of down jacket, like for a year. A purple one. Even though the fabric wasn’t that thick, wearing a down jacket must be hot, right? He didn’t take it off when he’s in the workplace. He even wore it during summer. I asked him why, and he said it’s because he wanted to hide his body line. Sounds like a problem an attractive woman would’ve. I do kinda understand that. It’s probably the same reason as women who wears loose clothing as to not have their chest shown too much. He always wore purple down jackets due to reasons like that.

C: My dad also always wears down jackets in every season to hide his body line.

I: I’d tell those kind of people to lose weight.

C: Wearing down jacket and sweating is probably their way of losing weight.

I: No, but even if you sweat, you won’t lose weight. Those who’re dieting probably know this already, but sweating only reduce the water percentage in your body. Just because you sweat a lot doesn’t mean you’d lose weight. In the end, it all depends on the amount of fat you lose and the amount of muscle mass you gain.

I: With sauna, I don’t think you can lose weight. If you drink water, you gain back the amount of water you lost. However, if you don’t drink water for 2 days, you’d probably lose 2-3kg. Human bodies are made up of 70% of water after all.

C: Sauna only makes you feel refreshing.

I: Sauna makes you feel good. I think that, in itself, is nice too. It’s just that only fat people think that they can lose weight wearing down jacket.

(t/n: I might’ve translated it a bit harsh, but I don’t think he meant it in a bad way. Please don’t be offended.)

C: Did you tell that to him?

I: I told him a lot of things. Something like “you’re gonna die” or “you’re gonna have your limbs amputated”. I have a younger friend who’s slightly diabetic, I think. He had always been fat, though he sometimes went on diet. His family knew a lot of people in the medical field, so they kept telling him to go to hospital. When he did the examination, he was told that he had a chance of getting diabetes. But Goubaru is a slob, so he wouldn’t visit hospital by his own volition, though I’m not qualified to say that since I also don’t really visit hospitals. He might be in a worse condition since he wouldn’t get checked up, so I think it’s best for him to lose weight.

I: Why being fat is not good for your health is because when the fat dissolves in your blood, the blood vessels will get clogged. That’s why I think it’s not good.

C: How much is your body fat percentage (BFP)?

I: How much is it…I’m not aiming to be ridiculously skinny or whatever. The average would be around 16-17%? It’d be great if I can get there. When I was on a rigorous diet, my BFP was as low as 13%. Some people are able to get to 10%. I wonder how they do that?

I: I’ve heard from someone about Goubaru’s body fat percentage. I’ve been talking about him, but his BFP is scary. It seems like he has 45% of fat in his body. He is nothing but a lump of fats already. The mother in Atashinchi (a classic manga) is also the same. Do you guys know Atashinchi? The mother is kinda fat. She’s also has around 45% BFP I think.

C: How much does Goubaru weigh?

I: I think he already surpassed 100kg, but I don’t know about now.

C: To be able to surpass 100kg is a talent.

I: Right. I’ve heard about that in Bananaman’s (Japanese comedy duo) radio or something. Mr. Himura (a member of Bananaman) was around 90kg at that time, though I don’t know his weight now. It’s probably around 10 years ago. He said he’s weighed more than 100kg, and that weighing 105 kg is a talent. 100kg was like the threshold for your body and you surpassed that limit.

C: There’s someone like Goubaru in my class.

I: But you don’t know him. Do you mean him having the same weight?

C: My classmate who weighs over 100kg broke the school chair just by sitting on it.

I: The weight is one thing, but even though chairs could withstand heavy amount of load, they’re not durable. Goubaru’s chair made a few scary noises whenever he sat down. It sounded similar to the sound effect of the door being opened in Inagawa Junji’s (an actor & ghost storyteller) ghost stories. I thought Mr. Junji was there.

Part 2

#ishida sui #tokyou ghoul #chojin x #choujin x #jack jeanne #ishida sushi channel

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panlight · 4 years ago

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Old Vampire Rules 5 (The Curse)

I keep referring to Carlisle becoming a vampire because he was ‘cursed by a witch.’ I meant it. Part of the Old Vampire Rules AU.

The pastor stood with his 13-year-old son, watching with icy calm as the witch was tied to the stake.

His son, in contrast, looked uneasy. This didn’t feel right. It never felt right.

In the years to come, the son would realize that the father was rounding up innocent people and accusing them of being monsters. But this time his father had found an actual witch.

It was not unusual for the doomed witches to point an accusatory finger at Pastor Cullen or wish him harm. But there was something about this woman’s demeanor that felt different. She didn’t appear angry or frightened. She seemed determined.

“Condemn my body to the flames if you will,” she said. “But I will not suffer long. It is you who will suffer. You will go to your grave knowing that your child, this child—” she pointed at the fair-haired young boy, “has been condemned to something far worse. In 10 years, Death will claim him, but Death will not keep him. Heed my words! My death will seal his fate. He too shall burn!”

Pastor Cullen looked at his son with an uncharacteristically tender pang of anxiety, but then nodded to the executioners. He could not allow himself to appear weak. The punishment must go forward.

Over the next 10 years, Carlisle grew increasingly skeptical of the existence of witches, and by the time his 23rd birthday rolled around in February of 1663, he put little stock in it.

It was only four months later, in June, 10 years to the day since the death of the witch, that Death did indeed claim Carlisle Cullen.

While he doubted the existence of witches, he had found evidence of what he believed to be vampires lurking underneath the city. He had chased a suspected creature down an alleyway when the monster doubled back and snapped his neck. He died instantly. The monster did not even bother to drink his blood--there was another among his company who had far sweeter blood, and the monster killed all the other men quickly so he could savor every last drop.

His body was found and, bearing no marks of the monster’s bite, was buried rather than burned. Perhaps Pastor Cullen should have insisted, but he felt by burying the body of his only child he would at least avert the “he too shall burn” portion of the witch’s curse, not realizing that burning would have saved him. As so often happens, one meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.

Carlisle Cullen was buried next to his mother, with a cross in one hand and a Bible on his chest. He was committed to the earth with a prayer, but it was not enough to keep the curse at bay.

* * *

After having been dead for three days, Carlisle Cullen sucked in a breath and tried to sit up, but he was confined to the coffin in which he had been buried.

He panicked, thinking he had been buried alive, and went to bang on the lid of the coffin, only for his fist to go straight through it, a shower of dirt falling on him. He found it surprisingly easy to break through the rest of the lid and claw his way up through the earth. He pulled himself to the surface gasping, although it was a human habit—he no longer needed to breathe.

He realized what had happened, what the witch had cursed him with, when the sound of the city's heartbeats and the scent of the city's blood caused a fire to erupt in his throat. The burning to which he was condemned was not a fire—it was a thirst.

old vampire rules

more old vampire rules

old vampire rules pt 3 (Rosalie)

old vampire rules 4 (Emmett)

#old vampire rules #fanfic #carlisle cullen #pastor cullen #I'm gonna ignore midnight sun for a bit and go live in my own au #thanks #also the broken neck is why he wears scarves #did you get that?#please tell me you got it

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stillness-in-green · 4 years ago

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When MVA/MLA Arc gets animated, what will you be looking forward to the most? What (canon-compliant) additions and/or changed do you want or think Bones should make, if any?

There’s--a lot. Does that surprise anyone? There’s a lot.

o I have been foaming at the mouth for voice actor announcements for almost a year now, particularly for Trumpet, Geten and RD. Trumpet’s superpower is literally his voice! I mean, nothing about that statement requires that voice be particularly entrancing, but it certainly seems like it should be, right?? Geten is a boku-type in the manga, but that was literally the only hint foreshadowing his pretty boy face through 21 solid chapters of Pure Feral Gremlin. Everyone was shocked by Geten’s face reveal! How do you maintain that surprise value with an actual voice actor in the mix? Do you not even try? Do you play up the disparity--in which direction? I can’t wait to see what they do. And Re-Destro! Re-Destro requires so much range! From his peppy, silly businessman persona, to the urbane commander, from the overeager yes-man to the raving zealot--who on earth do you get to believably cover all that ground? I can’t even begin to guess, but I am living in anticipation of that article going up on ANN or the official Twitter sources.

o I’m also much looking forward to getting official coloring on Trumpet and Geten. Skeptic seems pretty straightforward--black, black, more black--and RD and Curious, we have color art for, but I wonder if Trumpet will also be all black clothes, to go with that dignified politician image of his, or if he’ll get some color to pep him up a little. What color are those tinted shades of his? His eyes? The wicked-cool Sevens Loud? I assume Geten is all wintery shades, but it’ll be great to confirm which ones. I mean, we all assume he’s white-haired to better annoy Dabi with family parallels, but what if he turns out to be platinum blond? And are his eyes blue? Gray? White? What color is that awful parka? Also, Re-Destro’s stress powers. Having been writing them as black since at least August--Rorschach test blots are generally black, after all, and they’re the clear inspiration--I would much like it if the anime would have my back on this. They made Destro’s mask a dark cinnamon brown, though, so I’m prepared to be unpleasantly surprised in this matter.

o Predictable MLA adaptational choices aside, I’m also eager/anxious about how they’ll handle Spinner’s narration. What I really hope is that they actually straight-up hand him ALL the narration duties--not just the stuff he dictates directly in the manga, but also e.g. the name and quirk explanation material that Present Mic normally gets, or the previews that are always handled by Deku. The opening and closing sequences are another big structural thing, of course--based on the flashed snippets of Hawks and Endeavor in both our current and the previous OP, I’m expecting we’ll see at least a bit of something referencing the upcoming internship arc (which I expect to close out the season), but I hope the villains just walk away with the closing entirely. I want my slice of life villainy ED, dangit.

o Another thing I’m eager/anxious about would be Kotarou, and the Shimura flashback generally. There’s a brittle edge of to Kotarou that I really love, and I hope he manages to keep it in the anime, despite the anime being generally not so great at moments that I would describe as “delicate.” For example, I’d like it if he doesn’t get a super deep voice, and if they could manage to keep his pretty face, and capture how deeply bitter and tired he looks in the scene where he’s reading the letter Nana left him. Also, I hope they keep the little montage bits and, crucially, the changes of clothes the family goes through. We see Tenko in no less than five, possibly as many as seven, different T-shirts through the course of that flashback. It seems like a small thing, but it’s one of the factors that makes me skeptical that AFO gave Tenko Decay, when so many days clearly go by between the opening with the man at the door and the tragic end. It’d be nice not to see too much resurgence on that just because the anime can’t be bothered to come up with more than one outfit for the Shimuras.

I have enough issues with the anime’s usual adaptation choices that I’m trying not to get my hopes up too high on the actual content of the episodes. The staff is diverting too much of its major talent to the movies (BAH) these days for me to expect the whole season to look all that great, and it’s never been particularly creative or daring outside of its climactic sakuga-heavy fight scenes anyway. I’ve also long had a bone to pick with its scoring decisions, and am already eyeballing the climax of the RD/Shigaraki fight and imagining the minor-keyed terrifying dirge I fear the anime will play there, at the moment that Re-Destro (and, shortly afterward, Spinner) are supposed to be experiencing something akin to religious awakenings. There’s also the issue of the violence and gore--judging by how the anime handled the scene where Shigaraki and Compress maim Overhaul, I have some severe reservations about how much blood they’ll be allowed to get away with, particularly in the scene where the League brutally decimates that CRC group and, of course, Shigaraki’s backstory. I’m looking at MVA to serve as a preview for how all the same issues will be addressed in the War Arc.

That bit of pessimism aside, as to what I’m hoping they’ll add or change? Well, off the top of my head.....

o I would love to get a full episode devoted to the time the League spends fighting Machia. Not that first tussle, but the six grueling weeks in the mountains. There’s so much you could add there for character building and atmosphere that Hori didn’t so much as montage through. Where was their food coming from? How’d they pick out places to pitch camp? How much access to news from outside did they have, and how frequently? What were the circumstances in which Gigantomachia “told them himself” about his great sense of smell?? Stuff like that! I don’t think we’re at all likely to get this--honestly, the series of late has had enough of a problem with trimming bits and pieces that I’m as worried about what they might cut as I am hyped about things they might add--but the one thing that gives me some hope is the training camp arc. Specifically, the moment 1-A first gets to the Pussycats’ forest, they get jumped by earth golems, a fight that the manga off-panels entirely, but the anime spends a modest amount of time on, giving the kids a little bit of time to show off their moves and such. I’d love to get something equivalent for the League.

o On a similar note, I wouldn’t turn it down if they fleshed out some of those running street fights a bit. One obvious thing comes to mind: there’s a weird jump in the manga between Skeptic and a horde of his golems being all but on top of Twice at the beginning of 233 and then that fight just--doesn’t happen. There’s no mention of it at all. I think the suggestion is that either Machia’s appearance or the tower going down interrupted it--Skeptic breaks off from his fight the same way Geten and Trumpet do theirs, shifting focus to protecting Re-Destro--but it’d be nice to see the anime touch on it.

o It’d be nice to get a bit of expansion on the nature of the bullying Spinner endured. We’re told he was, but was it limited to verbal? Did he get beaten up a lot? Was there an online element? Deku’s our only other reference point for “bullied kid,” and whatever one might think about the story’s development of Bakugou’s mentality, it’s been made clear in retrospect that there was a lot more too that than just the matter of Deku’s quirklessness. I’d love to know how Spinner’s bullying looked in comparison (not least because of some of the theories about Spinner and Deku needing to come to some kind of accord to free Shigaraki from AFO).

o Make the Villa (both here and during the War Arc) look more realistic. By which I mean, I know Horikoshi is capable of drawing interesting and lived-in interior spaces--he has an entire chapter dedicated to it in the 1-A dorm room contest, after all--but he normally doesn’t bother much with it. At UA, it’s not too distracting, because we know good and well that that whole building is probably maintained by Cementoss anyway. Ditto places like Tartarus (intentionally, dehumanizingly barren) or the League’s post-Kamino hideouts (abandoned homes and industrial spaces). But the Villa? For heaven’s sake, it’s called a mountain villa. It has a clear reception desk on the ground floor; it’s obviously some sort of high-end hotel, if not an outright resort or rentable retreat lodge. Speaking as someone who’s worked in one, places like that don’t look as fuckin’ bare as the rooms we see there always seem to. For fanfic purposes, I’m happy to go on telling myself that e.g. the pool and the bar and the restaurant(s) and the gym are in the building Cementoss doesn’t tear in half, but it’d be nice if the anime could class the whole place up a little, maybe put some real furniture and decor in the rooms that are in use. (Yes, I know this is a ridiculous nitpick.)

o This is less a change and more a correction, but for fuck’s sake, BONES, give us white-haired Shigaraki. The climax of Deika is a solid time for it, given that it’s obvious in the manga that Shigaraki’s hair gets paler in Deika--you can see it in the way Horikoshi inks it (which is to say, the way he stops inking it)! I think if we ever get white-haired Shigaraki in the anime, a somewhat better time as far as narrative justification goes would be when Shigaraki gets out of the tube in the War Arc; you could easily justify it as a side-effect of the surgery. Still, I’d rather see it here. I want white-haired Shigaraki, gleaming and brilliant through the scattering ash in that crater, a veritable angel of sacred destruction. Honestly, more than anything, the crater sequence is the one I hope I love. It’s probably my favorite single moment in the entire manga, as Shigaraki wins over Re-Destro, Spinner and Gigantomachia in the same moment, and finally comes into his own. If they can at least nail that, I’ll consider myself pretty satisfied.

#stillness-answers #my villain academia #meta liberation army #boku no hero academia #bnha #hopes and dreams

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joannerowlingfans · 4 years ago

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Great article from June by Eileen Blair. Here’s some excerpts:

“The Bodily Function Which Must Not Be Named

Daniel Radcliffe knows some things about menstruation. Recently he wrote a statement assuring us that the correct word for those who experience periods is not “women” or “girls,” but “people who menstruate.” However, when he told us this, he didn’t actually tell us this. He never used the word “menstruation,” or “period,” or “blood,” or any related word. There was no mention of clots, or cramps, or dysmenorrhea, or endometriosis. He did not name the “people who” experience these things.

Instead, Radcliffe did name author J.K. Rowling, who recently came under fire for stating the controversial opinion that the word “woman” is still of use, and that this now-contested term may even provide a more appealing way to describe human beings than “people who menstruate,” or the more streamlined “menstruator.” But while Radcliffe invoked Rowling’s name, he did not acknowledge her ideas, which she has expressed publicly in a number of tweets and in a recent essay. Instead, he opened his statement by simply insisting that there is no “in-fighting” between him and Rowling, without mentioning why anyone might think there is. He anticipated that “certain press outlets” might seize on the opportunity to report on a conflict between Radcliffe and Rowling, which they promptly did. The Guardian, the Independent, and the Times all referred to a “row” between Rowling and Radcliffe.

On social media, many enthusiastically shared Radcliffe’s statement, but I have yet to see any of Radcliffe’s fans mention that he both failed to identify the topic at hand and neglected to consider Rowling’s ideas about it. In 2020, it seems, if someone mentions Rowling, however obliquely, and with even the slightest hint that they disapprove of her for some reason they need not even state, they can count on being showered with unreserved praise.

The Menstruators Who Must Not Be Named

There is more that is not mentioned. The third sentence of Radcliffe’s statement asserts, “Transgender women are women.” Curiously, he does not go on to say, as anyone familiar with scripture would expect, “Transgender men are men, and nonbinary people are who they say they are.” In fact, there is no mention of transgender men or nonbinary people anywhere in Radcliffe’s statement, even though the ultra-specific term “people who menstruate” is intended to accommodate these groups—people who have periods who do not identify as women.

Why does Radcliffe choose this occasion to remind us that trans women are women? Trans women do not menstruate. This is why it is now considered exclusionary for those women formerly known as women to claim that menstruation is related to being a woman. That’s pretty much the point of terms like “menstruator.” By intoning “transgender women are women,” Radcliffe associates women, and only women, with the expression “people who menstruate.” This is exclusionary and transphobic. Not all women have periods, and not all who have periods identify as women.

Among those who cheered Radcliffe, I have yet to see anyone call out Radcliffe for his exclusionary and transphobic refusal to acknowledge “people who menstruate.”

The Silencing That Must Not Be Spoken Of

There is yet more that is not said. Rowling has been on the receiving end of misrepresentation and verbal abuse for over two years, simply for suggesting that women formerly known as women have the right to discuss the word “woman.” For advocating free speech, she has been derided, slurred, and even threatened.

Into the fray saunters Daniel Radcliffe, who, without any apparent effort, scribbles a few words calculated to score points with his base. His four-word magic incantation, “transgender women are women”—again, this is transphobic and exclusionary of people who menstruate—ignites passions and encourages continued demonization of Rowling. Readers need not even know what Rowling has said, for Radcliffe’s magic spell sanctifies him and positions him securely on the moral high ground. Rather than discuss menstruation, or Rowling’s point of view, he describes the discrimination young transgender and nonbinary people have self-reported. It goes without saying that this should be eradicated, but it is a diversion. Rowling, the prop he uses to display his righteousness, is at this very same moment being mercilessly bullied online and in the press. By ignoring this, by saying her name only to turn away from her, by making the sinner a foil to his own saintliness, he lazily enables those who would consign her to the online ducking stool.

Rowling has taken pains to be considerate and measured, just as women formerly known as women are still expected to do. Nevertheless, she has been described as “hateful” and “transphobic.” She has been accused of saying trans people “don’t exist.” Rowling has been called a “bitch,” a “cunt,” a “whore” (also “hoe”), and even—gasp—“a Karen.” (In reality, the offense seems to be not that Karen has demanded to speak to the manager but that she is the manager.)

As expected, Rowling is also called a “TERF.” (Rhymes with “serf.”) Proponents of “letting people be who they are” have proposed that “TERFs” like Rowling deserve to be physically assaulted or killed. One TERF-hunter calls upon a well-known veteran to do the honors: “I’d pay to watch [Charlotte] Clymer put on her army camo and shoot the TERF.” Another goes for the DIY approach: “Smack JK Rowling so hard I give that fool a lighting scar on HER forehead.” Rowling has been challenged to a duel by Tara Flik Wolf: “Oi JK rowling ow about you meet me outside! Hyde park! Lets fucking have it you cunt!” (In 2018, Wolf was convicted of assaulting Maria Maclachlan in Hyde Park in London.)

The demeaning comments are not limited to the blue circle of hell known as Twitter; otherwise reputable news outlets have also adopted the term “TERF.” Mainstream publications insist that this is not a misogynistic insult but a neutral term, an acronym radical feminists invented and applied to themselves. No matter how many times we insist that we consider this term a slur, no matter how many times we see “TERF” joined to “bitch” or “cunt,” we are informed that we have misunderstood, that this term is not intended to demean us. We really do like it, we are told. And a minute later we receive, for the 83rd time, a cartoon image with a gun pointed at us, an anime character threatening, “Shut the fuck up, TERF!”

The mainstream media has also joined in telling Rowling to “STFU.” The Washington Post says it directly in an article titled, “J.K. Rowling’s Transphobia Shows It’s Time To Put Down The Pen.” Molly Roberts informs us that Rowling is flailing; she’s a bigot; she’s even—middle-aged! And therefore obsolete. Other prominent publications have described her tweets and essay as “transphobic” or “anti-trans.” This is eerily reminiscent of how second-wave feminists were described as “man-haters.” In the 1970s, we were said to hate men. Nowadays we are said to hate trans people. Fifty years ago, we learned to speak about our bodies. Nowadays, we learn how not to.

Major advocacy organizations have issued patronizing “reminders,” as if Rowling has forgotten her lines. The Human Rights Campaign laments, “We see JK Rowling is at it again. Helpful reminder: If your feminism isn’t trans-inclusive, then it’s not feminism.” A GIF of Emma Watson as Hermione is included for no extra charge, mocking the author with her own invention.”

“Radcliffe’s statement has been applauded online by people like me: college-educated, feminist, middle-aged American women of the sort formerly known as women. I haven’t seen any of them mention the gleeful dehumanization of Rowling; nor I have I seen any of them object that Radcliffe has remained silent about the abuse, or that it was taking place as he crafted his “response.” While he is not directly responsible for others’ treatment of Rowling, he is responsible for contributing to a hostile climate, and not just among anonymous Twitter trolls.He is responsible for what he does and does not say, and for what he does and does not know (or pretends not to know).”

“The final paragraph of Radcliffe’s statement offers consolation to those who feel betrayed, who feel as though their experience of Rowling’s fiction has been sullied by Rowling’s continued existence. He assures fans that they may still be nourished by—well, by “the books,” “these stories,” and “the book that you read,” despite “these comments.” He doesn’t say whose books, whose stories, or whose comments.

The explicitly violent tweets and the contemptuous journalistic dismissals are unsettling enough on their own, and it’s troubling to think that Radcliffe’s failure even to address the matters at hand may have amplified them. But here he moves from omission to erasure. Whereas he began his statement by focusing on Rowling’s name and not her ideas, now he appropriates her ideas while refusing to utter her name. This final negation is pernicious in its own way. Radcliffe opened his statement with an acknowledgment of J.K. Rowling’s influence on his life, but just a few paragraphs later, he seems to have forgotten that he played Harry Potter in the movies based on the books rather than inventing Harry himself. At the same moment when Rowling is being “cancelled” by those who loved her books, as her former fans and even major publications demand that she surrender her agency and autonomy, Radcliffe steps in and arrogates the right to speak for “these stories.” He assures his base that they may still find meaning and solace in the books, despite the mortal sins committed by—She Whose Name Must Be Erased From The Covers Of Her Own Books. Chillingly, Radcliffe assures his readers that “nobody can touch” their experience of the books, implying that the unnamed, erased author has been purged entirely. How magnanimous of him. How inclusive.”

“I haven’t seen any complaint that Radcliffe fails to mention the trans men and nonbinary people who menstruate, or that he pretends not to know Rowling has already been fending off verbal attacks for years, or that he erases her name as he refers to “the books.”

“Daniel Radcliffe seems to have forgotten Harry Potter began as an idea in J.K. Rowling’s head. But he wants “women” to be an idea in his own.

For all its popular appeal and re-postings, “Daniel Radcliffe Responds” does not respond to what J.K. Rowling expressed, and much is communicated by what he did not say. Radcliffe did not acknowledge the terminological issue or the content of what Rowling said about it. He did not mention the “people who” are affected by the issue or even credit Rowling as an author of “these stories.” Nor did the thirty-year-old honor Rowling as an elder who carries significant wisdom and experience—and who just might know something he doesn’t about the word “woman” or the practice of menstruation. He expressed fervent opinions about who counts as a woman, but didn’t show respect for this woman. Perhaps it is Daniel Radcliffe, not J.K. Rowling, who should “put down the pen.”

#jkr article #jkr articles #daniel radcliffe #danrad #pro jk rowling #jk rowling #i stand with jk rowling #author of harry potter #harry potter author #jkr

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meandmyechoes · 4 years ago

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Notes on Mandalorian Chapter 14

This is so much better. Exactly what a Mando episode should be. Cute moments, awesome fight scenes, cool characters you won’t even question their OP-ness. and an exact no-brainer of an episode like a children’s show you see how things will go but nothing came as a surprise except how cool the fight looks.

I love the pacing of this episode. It’s a lot tighter than last week’s. I don’t even wanna find out how the sharpshooter lady survives but I’m glad she did. This new cast is so much more delightful in terms of skill set.

I love Temura Morrison as Boba Fett. He is delightful to watch. Jango doesn’t even occur to me, he is just, Boba. The references this time does feel rewarding because it fits right with his character - he holds his father’s creed so dearly, and it is refreshing to hear their Mandalorian past validated and reviewed for a newbie like me. I hope the Fett fans are super duper happy. Through Jango and Boba’s case, the ‘Foundling’ theme is strengthened and along with faith, the criteria of ‘Mandalorian’ is clarified a little and I appreciate that.

lmao I totally saw the Razor’s Crest’s demise coming. The metal ball is again an excellent symbol for the crowd to NOT exercise reading comprehension and I honestly love that. Well, at least the tracking beacon is taken care of. Not that I cared about the ship, but it must’ve hurt for Din so I better be less mean. His failure falls right in line, we only have two episodes left, right? Time for that gut-punching finale.

But I think the level of violence Baby displayed in his prison cell this week further conflicts with Ahsoka’s reasoning NOT to train him. I already am a bit confused whether further ‘usage of the Force’ is something Grogu required at the moment. I gathered, since he had already mastered basic telekinesis at the temple, (as we all go with Ahsoka’s ‘attachment’ principle), he would more likely, need a Master-Padawan relationship. Grogu needs training to guide him away from his attachment or fear overflowing into the Force. He needs a practice, a vaccine. A form of attachment that teaches him open communication, trust & reliance, self-reflection and most importantly, when to let go. In that department, I think, a Jedi teacher, while a sure bonus, could be supplanted by a loving parent like Din. Isn’t that what all Master-Padawan essentially are?

As for the Jedi that may or may not show up, I have no idea. Nor do I want to jinx a particular character to show up or not. I also interpret RD’s words from the starwars.com interview as hers is a one-time deal, so I really hope it meant she won’t show up a second time this season. The Thrawn lead could like many said, tease the ANIMATED! Rebels sequel. The Jedi side of the saga is surely not to be expressed through this wordless child, so I’d rather they save the narrative for the appropriate occasion.

Din is so Dad this episode. The story has come to a point where he really needs to face his attachment and conclude, so, I’m looking forward to that.

Once again regarding the ‘fan film’ comment. I actually like the landscape this week. It’s a bit underwhelming for a name planet like Tython (spoiled by Mortis and Malachor the like) but at least it reminds me a bit of the domestic landscape. We have this kind of rocky mountains here. But then there’s quite a few snapshots with the stormtroopers you just, feel the Volume’s presence. Not that it looks fake, but you are very aware they are in a set lol. This is another nuance I have with live-action: rather than a complete universe all fabricated and contained on its own, you have some things, pretending what they are not. This disjointedness is not going away any time, if it’s so present in an expensive series like this.

(Because it’s not even like the Tokusatsu Giant Fight style kind of miniature usage? They were actually trying to trick you they’re really in the Rockys out there but the depth perception isn’t right and you’re slightly wheezing, but can’t tell how much Boba Fett smashing stormtroopers’ buckets is contributing.)

p.s. it went exactly like stef’s comic this morning lol

p.p.s. since they could be going back to corvus. if you-know-who show up next week someone please put me in a retirement home

#mando spoilers #star wars #I'm only writing this much because the keyboard is handy #if you-know-who show up next week someone please put me in a retirement home

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fire-emblem-drabbles · 4 years ago

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Match Up Commission: kingcritical

Match up commission for the wonderful and patient @kingcritical ! Sorry it took me so long to get to this, my depression has been getting the best of me. Still, I hope you enjoy who I decided to pair you up with!

My Match ups are not open. I only take them by commission.

I’m a hetero Aquarius female in my early 20s. My hobbies include baking, learning new things, gardening, cooking, and playing games. I have quite the green thumb and can grow anything. Acquaintances describe me as smart, friendly, and nice but those who really know me (which takes about 1-2 years for me to truly be myself around them) describe me as determined, witty, sassy (quite the sassy pants actually), and overall fun to be around. Regardless of what they fall under, I’m always willing to lend an ear and help as much as I can! I’m a bit of a jokester too and I love to make people laugh and smile! On the other hand, I can be cold hearted at times and have a strong lack of self confidence due to a rough upbringing. I used to be very athletic, but illness got the best of me. Needless to say, 2020 has done a number on me...I’m hoping to be back in my feet by this spring! I am extremely family-oriented and always put them first before anything. I would do just about anything for my close friends too. I sometimes get referred to as the “mom” of the group haha! Egotistical, manipulative, selfish people irritate me to no end, especially when they take advantage of others. Sloppiness drives me crazy too; I’m a complete neat freak.

For Radiant Dawn, I’m pairing you with Muarim!

So I may be a little biased, since he’s my absolute fav from por/rd but hear me out. He’s been through... so much. Too much, in fact. He needs someone... even, someone calm like him that he can rely on. I really think the two of you would compliment one another well. It’s hard to describe (but that’s why I’m here lol) but I just... feel like the two of you are similar.

Though he’s been free for quite a while, Muarim still can’t help his initial distaste of Beorc. Of course, he quickly gets over it quickly-- at his core, he wants to trust in others and with how open and bright you are, its hard for him not to like you. I feel like a romance between the two of you would be a real slow burn; neither of you sure where you stand with you other and not wanting to ruin what you already have.

That said, he appreciates how open you can be. Often, it can be hard to find people who are a kind and friendly you are, while also being able to lay down the truth in any scenario. He’s also amazed at how well you can garden. Often, he finds that he’s one talent is weapon maintenance-- and as a talent that was rather forced upon him, he finds it nice to see someone doing something that can not only help those around them but that they also can find joy in at the same time. You might find that your joys become his, too; beyond Tormod, Muarim has had little time to really think what he, himself enjoys.

Speaking of Tormod, it probably helps how much he looks up to you, too. The two of them are a pair after all! It probably all clicks in for Muarim when he sees how you interact with Tormod. Needless to say, being the ‘mom’ friend around Tormod helps him put two and two together... that maybe Muarim likes you more than just a friend. Maybe...

Despite this relationship being slow to start I still think it would be a really strong and stable one! The two of you know your boundaries and what to expect out a relationship.

For Fates, I’m pairing you with Benny!

Of the three I choose, I actually think Benny would be the best fit for you!

Compared to how open and sassy you are, Benny is reserved and super shy. He scares easy too, so I like to think you’d be there to comfort him. Benny would probably do his best to do the same for you. With him, there will be a lot of sweet talk and cuddle sessions, where the two of you just... bask in one anothers company when the weight of the world gets to you. There’s no doubt in my mind he gives the best cuddles!

I also see him loving to garden and bake with you. That’s probably how the two of you originally met and bonded-- gathering crops together and taking them to the cafeteria to make dinner that night. Benny couldn’t help but open up to you, what with all the silly jokes you made and how obvious it was you wanted to help him. It was nearly love at first sight for him!

Benny also loves to dote on you-- logical, he knows how capable you are. He’s seen it with his own two eyes how much you can get done when you put your mind to it. However, he can’t help the urge to want to take care of you! He’ll be right there with you when you’re ready to get back on your feet. With his help, surely you’ll be better than ever before!

Knowing that your so family oriented will put Benny at ease too. He loves Ignatius to pieces, but the two often have a hard time talking with one another, just because they’re both so timid. However, with you there and being as outgoing as you are, family time has never been better! The three of you may seem like an odd family... but you’re happy with each other and really, what more is there too it?

For Three Houses, I’m pairing you with Dedue!

The list of characters you gave me no to pair you with from this game was kinda big but luckily, after reading the information you gave me I knew Dedue would be the one for you!

When it comes to hobbies, the two of you really are the most alike. Gardening together at the monastery, an teaching one another different cooking and baking recipes... how cute! Your desire to learn more is also nice, since Dedue is often a willing teacher for many subjects. Its when you ask more about Duscur that he’s like “oh know I think I love her” because well... it took you asking about Duscur to realize your interest was actually him, and being with him, the entire time.

You’re so... alive to him. Open and free, speaking your mind and not caring about the consequences. Not that he couldn’t, of course, but Dedue just isn’t that type of person; when he sees you doing it though, he can’t help but respect it. It makes him feel comfortable around you, knowing that you don’t care about whatever stigma may come from being around him. And knowing that you’re strong enough to deal with whatever backlash may come of it is helpful as well. Of course, at the end of it all, he’ll just be apologizing. Just take it in stride and remind him that none of this is his fault and that you love him.

I think that the two of you would often be in competition with one another in a “who can take care of the other more” kind of way. You’ll be tempted to overdo it, though, so make sure to remind yourself and Dedue that it’s okay to take breaks! Take the time to just... enjoy one another, without thinking about what could be, or needs to be done. I think you’ll find it just as rewarding!

And... in the future, when Fodlan is once again at peace... I think you’ll find Dedue is more than willing to start a family with you. I just hope you’re ready for a big one! Dedue is just as family oriented as you... he may have lost those he care for but with you, he’ll have the strength he needs to build his own family.

#commssions #commision #match up #path of radiance #radiant dawn #fire emblem #fe #fe muarim #fe benny #fe dedue #dedue molinaro #this drained me ngl #I'm so sorry it took so long I've just been #like #actually dead

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soler97 · 4 years ago

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The Age of Unreason

Men want certainty, not truth.

- possibly from Bertrand Russell

A thoughtful friend asked me what 2020 will be remembered for, apart from the obvious, ie Covid and Trump losing. I could not think of anything.

My friend suggested it is the realisation that in the 21st century millions of people are turning away from science and reality towards a variety of beliefs that border on the crazy. Examples are QAnon, flat earthers (yes, they are serious), deniers of Covid, about 40% of Americans believe the Rapture is coming, biblical fundamentalism, climate change denial, neo-Nazis, Holocaust denial, belief in Trump as a saviour, doomsday predictions, sundry cults, alien abductions, New Age beliefs, and a multitude of conspiracy theories, such as that the moon landings were a hoax, or that 9/11 was an inside job.

Some of these beliefs appear harmless, but occasionally, they inspire horrific violence, such as the killing of 920 people by the Jim Jones cult, the sarin attack in Japan, the Breivik massacre, the Oklahoma bombing, the Waco siege, the Christchurch massacre, and the Heaven's Gate suicides.

It is difficult to generalise about the various strange beliefs that people hold, as these include conspiracy theories, varieties of denial, religious fantasies, extremist political or racist views, and beliefs like the flat earth, that elude classification. There is no common thread underlying this spectrum of beliefs. Rather, they can be characterised by what they reject, which in a nutshell, is rationality.

Rationality can be defined as the desire to be guided by reason, which we apply to the available evidence. The third ingredient is the willingness to admit we are wrong. So turning away from rationality means letting emotion or emotionally-based belief take precedence over reason, an unwillingness to look at factual evidence, plus a dogmatic belief that one is in possession of the ultimate truth. Many irrational beliefs run counter to Occam's Razor, which tells us to prefer the simplest explanation that covers the known facts. Complex processes may require elaborate or involved explanations, but the point is not to introduce unnecessary factors, especially ones of a fanciful nature.

Clearly, there are too many irrational beliefs to do them justice, so let us look at flat earthers, Heaven's Gate and QAnon to see whether there is a pattern.

A Flat Earth

Flat earth map with the Antarctic ice wall at the perimeter

A bizarre example is the contemporary belief that the earth is flat. Is such a belief even possible in the 21st century? It may be feasible to construct a world view that makes a flat earth plausible. However, it requires factors such as a massive world-wide conspiracy to hide the truth, the abandoning of all of modern cosmology and much of physics, as well as weird ad-hoc explanations for why planes fly in circles around a flat disc, rather than around a spherical globe. Also, that ships at sea disappear below the horizon requires adjustment to the laws of optics. If that still does not cover all the facts countering a flat view, then one could invoke mind control by Martians, or something of the sort. The point is that if one wants to conjure up fantastical reasons to invalidate what we know of reality then it is always possible to do so.

It seems to me that the flat earth people are not interested in gaining knowledge about the world. They are uninterested in discovering what lies beyond the putative ice wall in Antarctica that holds back the oceans or why NASA might be guarding it. They just believe in the flat earth and that is that. Their only concern is to bolster the theory, which I think they hold on emotional grounds. They are willing to perform elaborate mental contortions to support their belief, and it is interesting to observe how much of modern science they are willing to jettison in order to keep their belief afloat, eg gravity.

Whereas the explanations given for the earth being flat are interesting, to me it is more interesting to enquire what causes people to seek these explanations in the first place. What causes people to believe the earth is flat?

Four factors come to mind. One is a desire to be rid of experts and eggheads, who insist on telling ordinary people what to think. In the case of the earth's apparent flatness, the boffins are telling us to deny the evidence of our senses by invoking the large-scale curvature of the earth, something that is far from apparent in ordinary life. Flat earth is like the last stand of common sense in the face of the inexorable advance of science, which keeps telling us the world is far stranger than we thought. It is also a form of contrariness and rebellion against authority. The second is the ego-gratification of knowing a secret that is hidden from nearly everyone else. The third factor is on religious grounds. The fourth is a desire to return to a comforting and anthropocentric model of the universe, rejecting the notion that our planet is an insignificant speck in the incomprehensible vastness of the universe.

Many ancient cultures subscribed to a flat earth cosmography, including Greece until the classical period (323 BC). However, early Christian writers tended to believe the earth is spherical, though with some notable exceptions. Curiously, it wasn't until 1849 that the flat earth belief was resurrected by Rowbotham and later others. He argued that the "Bible, alongside our senses, supported the idea that the earth was flat and immovable and this essential truth should not be set aside for a system based solely on human conjecture".

In the internet era, the proliferation of communications technology and social media have given individuals a platform to spread pseudo-scientific ideas and build stronger followings. The flat earth conjecture has flourished in this environment. Social media and the internet have made it easier for like-minded thinkers to connect and mutually reinforce their beliefs. They have also had a levelling effect, in that experts have less sway in the public mind than they used to.

The belief that the earth is flat could be seen as the ultimate conspiracy theory, given how many people are needed for a cover-up on such a scale. According to the Flat Earth Society's leadership, its ranks have grown by 200 people per year since 2009. Judging by the exhaustive effort flat earthers have invested in fleshing out the theory on their website, as well as the staunch defenses of their views they offer in media interviews and on Twitter, it would seem that these people genuinely believe the earth is flat. They tend to distrust observations they have not made themselves, and often distrust or disagree with each other. I imagine they are maverick individuals who enjoy challenging the status quo.

Paul Sutter, "The question isn't 'why do people believe in a flat Earth?' but rather 'why do people believe in a conspiracy?' And the answer is the same reason it always is: a lack of trust. Many people don't trust the society around them, most notably the representatives of that society. By claiming that the Earth is flat, people are really expressing a deep distrust of scientists and science itself."

Heaven's Gate

Heaven's Gate Logo

Far more bizarre than the flat earth belief are the doctrines of Heaven's Gate, which melded the Bible with belief in UFOs into a religious cult. It was founded in California in 1974 by Marshall Applewhite and Bonnie Nettles. These two pondered the life of St. Francis of Assisi and read works by Helena Blavatsky, RD Laing, and Richard Bach. They studied several passages from the New Testament, focusing on teachings about Christology, asceticism, and eschatology ("the end times"). Applewhite also read science fiction, including Robert Heinlein and Arthur Clarke. They concluded that they had been chosen to fulfill biblical prophecies, and that they had been given higher-level minds than other people. They wrote a pamphlet that described Jesus' reincarnation as a Texan, a thinly veiled reference to Applewhite.

Eventually, Applewhite and Nettles resolved to contact extraterrestrials, and they sought like-minded followers. They published advertisements for meetings, where they recruited disciples, whom they called "the crew". At the events, they purported to represent beings from another planet, the Next Level, which sought participants for an experiment that would bring people to a higher evolutionary level.

In September 1975, the group visited the small town of Waldport, Oregon, to give a lecture about how UFOs were soon going to make contact with the human race. Roughly 150 people packed into a motel hall to hear Applewhite. At first the town thought it was a joke. However, soon after, in a testament to Applewhite's charisma and powers of persuasion, 20 people - or about one in 30 residents of the town - drove off to a meeting of about 400 people in Grand Junction, Colorado, in the hope of meeting aliens.

Later, the crew sold all their worldly possessions and said farewell to loved ones; the group vanished from the public eye. From that point, "Do and Ti", as the two now called themselves, led the nearly one-hundred-member crew across the country, sleeping in tents and begging in the streets. Evading detection by the authorities and media enabled the group to focus on Do and Ti's doctrine of helping members of the crew achieve a "higher evolutionary level" above human, which they claimed to have already reached.

Most of their followers are described by researchers as having been longtime truth-seekers, or spiritual hippies who had long attempted to find themselves through spiritual means. The clan of UFO followers all seemed to have in common a need for communal belonging in an alternative path to higher existence without the constraints of institutionalised faith. The group purchased alien abduction insurance that would pay out $1 million per person, covering abduction, impregnation, or death by aliens.

Applewhite began to emphasize a strict hierarchy, teaching that his students needed his guidance, just as he needed the guidance of the Next Level. A relationship with Applewhite was said to be the only way to salvation and he encouraged his followers to see him as Christ. In the 1980s, the group became more like a religion in its focus on faith and submission to authority. Students who were not committed to this lifestyle were encouraged to leave; departing members were given financial assistance. He specifically cited sexual urges as the work of Lucifer. Applewhite, "We do in all honesty hate this world".

In March 1997, Marshall Applewhite videoed himself in Do's Final Exit, speaking of mass suicide as "the only way to evacuate this Earth". After asserting that a spacecraft was trailing Comet Hale-Bopp and that this event would represent the closure to Heaven's Gate, Applewhite persuaded 38 followers to prepare for ritual suicide so their souls could board the supposed craft. Applewhite believed that after their deaths a UFO would take their souls to another level of existence above human, which he described as being both physical and spiritual.

News of the 39 deaths in Rancho Santa Fe motivated the copycat suicide of a 58-year-old man living near Marysville, California. The man left a note, "I'm going on the spaceship with Hale-Bopp to be with those who have gone before me," and imitated some of the details of the Heaven's Gate suicides as they had been reported in the media. At least three former members of Heaven's Gate committed suicide in the months after the mass suicide.

Heaven's Gate members believed the earth would be wiped clean and refurbished before 2027, and that the only chance for their consciousness to survive was to leave their human bodies at an appointed time. Initially, the group had been told that they would be transported with their bodies aboard a spacecraft that would come to earth and take the crew to heaven, the Next Level. When Nettles (Ti) died of cancer in 1985, it confounded Applewhite's doctrine because Nettles was allegedly chosen by the Next Level to be a messenger on earth, yet her body died instead of leaving physically to outer space. The belief system was then revised to include the leaving of consciousness from the body as equivalent to leaving the earth in a spacecraft.

While the group was against suicide, they defined "suicide" to mean "to turn against the Next Level when it is being offered" and believed their bodies were only vehicles meant to help them on their journey. Suicide, therefore, would be not allowing their consciousness to leave their human bodies to join the Next Level. They believed that, "to be eligible for membership in the Next Level, humans would have to shed every attachment to the planet". This meant members had to give up all human characteristics, such as their family, friends, sexuality, individuality, jobs, money, and possessions.

The Evolutionary Level Above Human was seen as a physical, corporeal place, another planet, where residents live in pure bliss and nourish themselves by absorbing pure sunlight. They do not engage in sexual intercourse, eating or dying. Heaven's Gate believed that what the Bible calls God is actually a highly developed Extraterrestrial. Evil space aliens - called Luciferians - falsely represented themselves to Earthlings as God and conspired to keep humans from developing. Technically advanced humanoids, these aliens have spacecraft, space-time travel, telepathy, and increased longevity. They use holograms to fake miracles. Heaven's Gate believed that all existing religions on earth had been corrupted by these malevolent aliens.

Applewhite taught that "aliens planted the seeds of current humanity millions of years ago, and have come to reap the harvest of their work in the form of spiritually evolved individuals who will join the ranks of flying saucer crews. Only a select few members of humanity will be chosen to advance to this transhuman state. The rest will be left to wallow in the spiritually poisoned atmosphere of a corrupt world". Only the individuals who chose to join Heaven's Gate, followed its belief system, and made the sacrifices required by membership would be allowed to escape the prophesied disaster.

In a group open only to adults over the age of 18, members gave up their possessions and lived a highly ascetic life. The group was strictly regimented, tightly knit and everything was communally shared. Eight of the male members, including Applewhite (who was gay), voluntarily underwent castration as an extreme means of maintaining the ascetic lifestyle. "They couldn't stop smiling and giggling," surviving member DiAngelo told Newsweek. "They were excited about it."

Lalich speculates that they were willing to follow Applewhite in suicide because they had become totally dependent upon him, hence were poorly suited to life in his absence. He isolated them socially and cultivated an attitude of complete religious obedience. Applewhite's students had made a long-term commitment to him. Most of the dead had been members for about 20 years, although there were a few recent converts.

Three of the people who suicided left exit statements on their website. These extoll the joys of the Next Level while summing up people on earth as the walking dead. The texts are not the ramblings of disordered minds. The content is fantasy, but they are written in a lucid way in excellent English and give every appearance of sincerity. Unlike the Flat Earth Society, which no doubt numbers people who joined for a joke, as well as those who are not fully convinced, there is little doubt that the members of Heaven's Gate were totally committed to their beliefs. After all, they gave up their sexuality and their lives for their ideal.

QAnon

QAnon at the Capitol invasion

QAnon is a powerful but diffuse contemporary movement that sought to have Trump re-elected. It is animated by a loose collection of extreme right conspiracy theories whose central theme is that a cabal of Satan-worshipping pedophiles is running a global child sex-trafficking ring and plotting against Donald Trump, who is fighting the cabal. QAnon claims that Obama, Hillary Clinton, George Soros, and others are planning a coup against Trump and are involved in an international child sex-trafficking ring. It alleges that an elite cabal of pedophiles, comprising, among others, Hollywood A-listers, leading philanthropists, Jewish financiers and Democrat politicians, covertly rule the world. Followers of QAnon believe that there is an imminent event known as the "Storm", when thousands of members of the cabal will be arrested and possibly sent to Guantanamo Bay prison, and the US military will brutally take over the country. The result will be salvation and utopia on earth. QAnon promises a "Great Awakening", in which the elites will be routed and the truth revealed.

However, this summary is misleading because QAnon is amorphous, multi-faceted and confusing. In addition it keeps shape-shifting.

The conspiracy theory began with an October 2017 post on the anonymous bulletin-board 4chan by "Q". Q claimed to be a high-level government official with Q clearance. Q predicted the imminent arrest of Hillary Clinton and a violent uprising nationwide. It is likely that Q has become a group of people acting under the same name. QAnon's adherents, while seeing Trump as a flawed Christian, also view him as a messiah sent by God. Trump himself pretends to know little about QAnon, which is a lie. Trump has amplified QAnon messaging at least 216 times by retweeting or mentioning 129 QAnon-affiliated Twitter accounts, sometimes multiple times a day. Being a savvy politician, Trump is perfectly aware that many, perhaps most, of his supporters are QAnon people. He made a correct political calculation, deciding to give only scant public endorsement to QAnon. Showing full support would hurt his standing with moderate Republicans, whereas he does not need to do anything to retain the devotion of QAnon. They are happy with the crumbs he throws their way, being accustomed to snatching at Q's hints.

Q's posts have become more cryptic and vague, allowing followers to map their own beliefs onto them. Part of QAnon's appeal is its game-like quality, in which followers attempt to solve riddles presented in Qdrops by connecting them to Trump speeches and tweets. Q enthralls readers with clues rather than presenting claims directly. Travis View, a researcher who studies QAnon, says that it is as addictive as a video game, and offers the "player" the appealing possibility of being involved in something of world-historical importance. According to View, "You can sit at your computer and search for information and then post about what you find, and Q basically promises that through this process, you are going to radically change the country, institute this incredible, almost bloodless revolution, and then be part of this historical movement that will be written about for generations."

Although Q's claims are false and the prophecies routinely fail, this does little to decrease Q's influence. Believers overlook the lack of results and failed predictions because they gauge the movement's success by its popularity, its opposition from the mainstream media, and its recognition by the President himself. On multiple occasions, Q has dismissed his false claims and incorrect predictions as deliberate, claiming that "disinformation is necessary". This has led psychologist Stephan Lewandowsky to emphasize the "self-sealing" quality of the conspiracy theory, so that evidence against it can become evidence of its validity in the minds of believers. "The absence of evidence is reinterpreted as evidence without batting an eyelid." Conspiracy enthusiasts believe that the burden of proof lies with their opponents, ie that QAnon's claims are valid in the absence of positive proof that there is no cabal and no trafficking of children by Democrats.

Experts judge that QAnon's appeal is comparable to that of religious cults. According to Renee DiResta, QAnon's pattern of enticement is similar to that of cults in the pre-internet era where, as the targeted person was led deeper and deeper into the group's secrets, they became increasingly isolated from friends and family outside the cult. Rachel Bernstein, an expert on cults, has said, "What a movement such as QAnon has going for it, and why it will catch on like wildfire, is that it makes people feel connected to something important that other people don't yet know about... All cults will provide this feeling of being special."

A series of ideas began burbling in the QAnon community: that the coronavirus might not be real; that if it was, it had been created by the "deep state", the cabal of government officials and other elite figures who secretly run the world; that the hysteria surrounding the pandemic was part of a plot to hurt Trump's re-election chances. QAnon is a movement united in mass rejection of reason, objectivity, and other Enlightenment values. Some QAnoners are highly focused on what they perceive as degeneracy in the mainstream media, a perception fuelled in equal measure by Q and by Trump. QAnon may be propelled by paranoia and populism, but it is also driven by religious faith. The language of evangelical Christianity has come to define the QAnon movement. QAnon marries an appetite for the conspiratorial with positive beliefs about a radically different and better future, one that is preordained. As one adherent proclaimed, "It's not a theory. It's the foretelling of things to come."

Edgar Welch is a deeply religious father of two, who until December 4, 2016, had lived an unremarkable life in a small town. That morning, Welch grabbed his collection of guns and drove 580 km to a neighbourhood in Northwest Washington, DC. He held an AR-15 rifle across his chest as he walked through the front door of a pizzeria called Comet Ping Pong. Welch was there because of a conspiracy theory known as Pizzagate, which three years later became a pillar of QAnon. It claimed that Hillary Clinton was running a child sex ring out of Comet Ping Pong. The idea originated in October 2016, when some conspiracy theorists asserted that sexual abuse of children was taking place in the basement at Comet, where there is no basement. After firing a rifle to break a lock, Welch realised his mistake and gave himself up to police. He was sentenced to four years in prison. The New York Times wrote in June 2020 that posts on TikTok with the #PizzaGate hashtag were viewed more than 82 million times in recent months. The abuse of children fantasy arose because someone suggested that emails written by the restaurateurs referring to 'pizza' and 'pasta' were code words for 'boys' and 'girls'.

The Sleep of Reason Produces Monsters

by Goya

Anthony Comello was charged with the March 2019 murder of Gambino crime family boss, Frank Cali. According to his defense attorney, Comello had become obsessed with QAnon theories, believing Cali was a member of a "deep state". Comello was convinced he "was enjoying the protection of President Trump himself" so he decided to act. Confronting Cali outside his Staten Island home, Comello allegedly shot Cali ten times. A May 30, 2019, FBI Intelligence Bulletin memo from the Phoenix Field Office identified QAnon-driven extremists as a domestic terrorism threat. Although the conspiracy that QAnon imagines does not exist, there is a real danger that QAnon itself might become a conspiracy of armed vigilantes, determined to bring about the promised "Storm". The storming of the US Capitol by Trump supporters, including QAnoners, is not a good sign.

Heavy on millennialism and the idea that a reckoning awaits the world, the theory has found fertile ground in the American alt-right. Some 56% of Republicans believe that QAnon is mostly or partly true. At least 35 current or former congressional candidates have shown support for QAnon. A Time magazine article listed Q among the 25 most influential people on the internet in 2018. Counting more than 130,000 related discussion videos on YouTube, Time cited the wide range of the conspiracy theory and its prominent followers and news coverage.

Why did Q's cryptic post on an obscure message-board ignite a movement involving millions? Why were so many eager to embrace such a far-fetched conspiracy theory? Perhaps it was the surge in confidence of the Right in the wake of Trump's win. Whatever the reasons, the grass was dry and Q provided the spark. Not all QAnoners come from a rightwing background. For those who have had no agency to suddenly discover a path into the game is heady stuff.

QAnon is not confined to the US. It has organised protest demonstrations in 200 countries, ostensibly to "save the children". One in four Britons are said to believe in QAnon-related theories. According to The Guardian, QAnon is growing in the UK, spilling over into anti-vaccine and 5G protests, fuelled by online misinformation. At a QAnon rally, Shemirani, a nurse suspended for promoting baseless theories about Covid19, told the crowd: "Our government has declared war on the people of the UK."

"There is a high possibility that the spirited belief system which surrounds QAnon can slowly become a political movement in the UK," Liyanage said. "It will be successful because no one can fight it through reason. It's not a rational belief system but mostly a supernatural belief system."

The time for Trump to arrest the pedophiles and satanists is fast running out. It is interesting to speculate what effect his departure will have on a conspiracy theory in which he is the key figure. My guess is that the powerful energy and passion that drive QAnon will shift focus.

My own view is that QAnon is a blank slate onto which people project their darkest nightmares, as well as their hopes for a Christian utopia. Where do the ideas of satanism, eating children, sinister cabals, sexual depravity, and other crimes against children come from? The answer is simple: from the minds of those who form QAnon. QAnon is nothing but a mirror showing people their shared fantasy. People are sharing with each other their worst fears, as well as their hopes. The dark parts are projected onto the favourite targets of the alt-right, ie Hillary and other Democrats, Jews, and liberals, whereas the messianic hopes are projected onto Trump and Q. However, it is a mistake to see the QAnon conspiracy theory as the work of Q. Although Q was the initial cause, his cryptic and vague messages are merely prompts, asking people to fill in the blanks. This is what many have done and the result is a miasma of fanciful lies about corruption, sexual perversions and violence. The irony is that whereas the accusations made by QAnon are entirely baseless, QAnon might itself become a violent entity, little better than the chimera it rails against.

James Baldwin wrote, "It is a terrible, an inexorable, law that one cannot deny the humanity of another without diminishing one's own." Voltaire put it more starkly, "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

Is Credulity Humanity's Achilles Heel?

The three belief systems discussed have almost nothing in common except the rejection of the consensus view of reality, combined with belief in a fantasised conspiracy. In each case, powerful unseen forces are seen as perverting or hiding the truth of what is really going on. All three beliefs appear absurd except to people who are believers. The puzzle is why do apparently normal people adopt such ideas?

In a study published online in March, 2014, in the American Journal of Political Science, Oliver and Wood, found that about half of Americans endorse at least one conspiracy theory, such as the notion that 9/11 was an inside job or the JFK conspiracy. "Many people are willing to believe many ideas that are directly in contradiction to a dominant cultural narrative," Oliver said. According to him, conspiratorial belief stems from a human tendency to perceive unseen forces at work, known as magical thinking.

In the Middle Ages the Devil was a convenient factor that could be used to explain anything weird or harmful, while the deity took responsibility for the rest. With the advance of science, both the Devil and God gradually lost their explanatory powers. God became "the God of the gaps", being only needed to explain what was missing in our understanding of the physical world. Nowadays, the term "act of God" is reserved to describe the insurance industry's view of natural disasters.

In the modern era magical thinking has undergone a new twist. God and the Devil have been replaced by conspiracies. A recent survey of 26,000 people in 25 countries asked respondents whether they believe there is "a single group of people who secretly control events and rule the world together". In the US 37% replied that this is "definitely or probably true". So did 45% of Italians, 56% of Spaniards and 78% of Nigerians.

2020 was the year of Covid19. The coronavirus has triggered the rise of myriad myths, waves of misinformation and virus conspiracy theories, including that it does not exist - believed by 22% in Poland, where there have been nearly 1.4 million cases. The virus has also had an incubating effect on unrelated conspiracy theories because it has thrown humankind into a state of fear and isolated people in their homes with too much time to think and surf. The extra time in the virtual space means increased exposure to the proponents of conspiracy theories, without the balancing effect of social interactions.

According to the Dunning-Kruger Effect, the normal process is that as people begin to acquire knowledge of a given subject, their feelings of competence rise quickly towards a peak, before declining, as they begin to realise how much more there is to know. In the case of conspiracy theories, such as QAnon, people can arrive almost immediately at that delicious peak of confidence, without actually learning anything at all. QAnon is like a super-car that can do 0 to 100 kph in 3 seconds flat. Many are captivated by the vicarious thrill of believing they are privy to vastly important secrets about which millions of people have no idea. This is the seductive appeal of conspiracy theories.

What causes us to believe? There is an analogy between religions and conspiracy theories. Once you pay the price of entry, ie faith in a religious doctrine or conspiracy, the payoff is that much of the confusion and mystery of life is dispelled because you are in possession of the answers. Yuval Harari: "Our lives are repeatedly rocked by wars, revolutions, crises and pandemics. But if I believe some kind of global cabal theory, I enjoy the comforting feeling that I do understand everything. The skeleton key of global cabal theory unlocks all the world's mysteries and offers me entree into an exclusive circle - the group of people who understand. It makes me smarter and wiser than the average person and even elevates me above the intellectual elite and the ruling class: professors, journalists, politicians. I see what they overlook - or what they try to conceal."

The spectrum of irrational beliefs shares one characteristic: they are all unfalsifiable. Their adherents never say, "If such-and-such happens I will discard this belief." This is particularly apparent in doomsday predictions. The predicted date comes and goes, but the true believers simply reset the clock to a future date. A cult called the Seekers went one better. They believed a UFO would save them from a cataclysm on December 24, 1954. Afterwards, some of the members claimed that their group's devotion had saved the rest of the world from disaster. They responded by proselytizing with renewed vigour. Cults and conspiracy theories are highly resistant to correction. Even the thoroughly discredited Pizzagate is still believed by masses of people.

The self-validating nature of the beliefs ensures that all evidence can be construed as confirmation. New findings that contradict a belief are interpreted as proof of the further workings of the conspiracy to hide the truth. Yet cults and conspiracy theories are not the only systems that guarantee their own validation. If one questions what is taught in a personal growth course one is rebuked with, "You are resisting". Pseudo-science is very difficult to debunk. Inconvenient facts, such as aliens not showing up, are explained by another tweak to the doctrine.

To be fair, the process of theory adjustment happens in science proper as well. When a theory fails experimental test it may be given an additional proviso that accounts for the discrepancy. For instance, the fact that personal experience can be handed down as a genetic legacy to future generations seems to contradict standard evolutionary theory. As it turns out, there is no contradiction. A new sub-science called epigenetics explains the mechanism of this process in terms of alterations to the DNA molecule that do not change the genetic code but which influence gene expression.

Since science is a human activity, it is subject to the foibles of our species. It too has dogmas that are difficult to overturn. Thomas Kuhn has written persuasively about paradigm shifts in science. He saw the history of science as consisting of normal and revolutionary phases, in which the community of scientists in a particular field are plunged into periods of turmoil, uncertainty and angst. These revolutionary phases, such as the transition from classical physics to quantum mechanics, involve great conceptual breakthroughs and lay the basis for a succeeding phase of business as usual. This is captured in an aphorism that is only half humorous, "The measure of the greatness of a scientist is how long they hold up advancement in their chosen field."

The history of science features dogmas that were held too long and new ideas that took an unreasonably long time to be accepted. One example is the resistance to the theory of plate tectonics, another is the opposition to a bacterial explanation for the cause of ulcers. The mainstream rejection of functional medicine and the progress it has made in curing Alzheimer's Disease is a current example.

Nevertheless, the greatest strength of science is that it is tentative: any scientific theory may be overturned and replaced by a better theory in the future. The criterion of a theory being scientific is that it makes predictions which could, in principle, be falsified by new data. Yet to a fundamentalist or a common sense sceptic, such as a flat earther, this is not a strength but a weakness. They point out that science can never prove anything, that scientific theories have been debunked plus questions science can't answer. Hence science is not to be trusted. With the authority of science diminished, the field opens for persuasive individuals with pet theories, especially about conspiracies. Why conspiracies? Because a belief that goes counter to the accepted view of reality requires a widespread suppression of the truth.

The bottom line is that many people do not perform due diligence in checking the information they encounter and its sources. Given the virulent spread of QAnon and other conspiracy theories, this is a massive under-statement. The worry is that many obtain their news from questionable sources, such as Facebook and YouTube.

Ultimately, eschewing reputable news media in favour of bulletin-boards and succumbing to their conspiracy theories has deeper causes. These are alienation and a lack of trust in society and its leaders. Why are people alienated and distrustful? Perhaps the underlying problem is not credulity but its opposite, ie a loss of belief in the system. Those who are drawn to far-right conspiracy theories have lost trust in democracy and the modern state. They think the US no longer embodies the ideals they believe in. Conservative Christians and right-wingers resent their defeat in "the culture wars", which were about abortion, separation of church and state, creationism, recreational drug use, homosexuality, and censorship. Perhaps the "Great Awakening" is their dream of a return to how things were. The fact that they grasp at ludicrous ideas indicates the depth of their disaffection.

Of course, irrational beliefs, superstitions, baseless theories and weird cults have been with us all through history, ever since the invention of writing, and probably long before. The difference now is that we supposedly live in the age of reason and science. Furthermore, knowledge is far more freely available than at any time in the past. The problem is that disinformation, extravagant falsehoods, fringe beliefs, and sensational stories are more easily disseminated than ever before, and they seem to capture peoples' attention more than sober facts. The difference between 30 years ago and now is that anyone can post anything and potentially reach millions of people. It's the old story - those who know least have the loudest voices. The paradox is that although reliable knowledge is now easily accessible to anyone with an internet connection, millions are turning their backs on both science and common sense.

My conclusion is that despite the advances of human knowledge, human nature itself has not changed. We remain a species ruled by emotion rather than logic, and hence we come to believe all kinds of nonsense.

Another conclusion comes from an insight of the brilliant intellectual, Yuval Harari. He is convinced that we human beings can only prosper and live in harmony with each other provided we believe in a shared myth. If so, then a propensity towards credulity might be built into our genome. Unfortunately, credulity is dangerous, as shown in Heaven's Gate, the Jim Jones cult and QAnon.

Tad Boniecki

January 2021

#conspiracy theory #QAnon #Trump Q

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ethanlivemere · 4 years ago

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Half-Life²: Anticitizen Prologue

It starts as a very distant, rhythmic tapping. Barely audible, but any noise sounds ear-deafening in this void where all sensory inputs are non-existent. Nothing to be seen but an endless, black abyss. No sounds of gunfire, no smell of burnt flesh and blood. For days there had been nothing but that, and then suddenly everything had been stripped away in one instant. Now there is not even the comforting weight of my suit confirming that I still have a body. It is not sleep; in sleep you either dream or are completely unconscious. This… is something else. Like my mind is floating just out of reach of my body. Like I am looking at my own thoughts through backwards binoculars.

Time. Another such thing that seems to have lost all meaning in this place. When left alone with nothing but your thoughts to hold onto, every minute seems to last an eternity. I have tried counting them multiple times, but I always lose count. How long have I been here? It feels like it was centuries, but also only seconds ago that I entered that cursed portal, naively hoping that the man with the briefcase would give me a way to atone for my mistakes at Black Mesa. Maybe this is it. My atonement. Maybe this restless slumber is purgatory, endlessly thinking about everything I should and shouldn’t have done. If it is, it’s no wonder people fear death.

The tapping grows louder. It sounds like footsteps. Is it the devil coming to claim my soul? Before I have the time to dread or ridicule that thought, an invisible door slides open and a blinding light floods in. I can somehow avert my eyes, finally having a point of reference again, some form of orientation. When I look down, or, at least, what I think is down, I can faintly see the outline of my body. But this, too, is like I am seeing it through someone else’s eyes, distant and disconnected. The footsteps come to a halt. A brief moment of silence, and then a chilling voice: “Rise and shine, Mr. Freeman.” I direct my eyes back toward the light and look into the eyes of the devil.

His face is distorted like a badly fitted mask. As if someone tried to build a human but didn’t quite succeed. His eyes are pale and lie deep in their sockets. His lips are curled into a twisted, emotionless smirk. I can’t escape his gaze. He doesn’t blink.

“I do believe I’ve kept you waiting long enough.” The movements of his mouth are awkward and sluggish. It’s like all his facial muscles that are vital to conveying emotion are paralyzed. Everything about him is just ever so slightly off. “Not that the passage of time has had any meaning to you… but elsewhere it’s a different story.”

The light from the doorway grows brighter and for a brief moment consumes everything, including the man. Hope flares up inside me that he is gone, but when the flash of light dulls his soulless eyes are still staring into mine. But there is more now: behind him is a blurry wasteland of dead grass, dried riverbeds and clouded skies. He is standing further away from me, and I can more clearly see his blue suit and the black briefcase in his right hand. His other hand moves up and nonchalantly wipes his vest. “Ten years is a long time, Mr. Freeman. Long enough for humanity to swallow its pride. Long enough for the first scars of whiplash to begin to heal. Long enough to…”, he produces a strange, stuttering gasp for air, “… forget how things used to be.”

I start hearing another rhythmic sound in the distance, but it sounds different from the footsteps. More mechanical. The surroundings fade away and he continues: “But you haven’t forgotten, Mr. Freeman. You still remember how freedom felt. You remember how the air used to smell.” He is starting to become translucent. The machine sounds grow louder. A hiss of decompression. A shriek of stainless steel. I see myself get pulled back as in a dolly zoom. “So wake up, Mr. Freeman.” I am now inside a long room with dark windows and rows of seats on either side. A chill sends feeling back into my body as the man slowly fades.

“Wake up and… smell the ashes.”

Chapter 1

______________________________________________________________

What is Half-Life²: Anticitizen?

Half-Life²: Anticitizen is the temporal name of the project I was dumb enough to start that consists of me writing out Half-Life 2’s story based on many of the old concepts and original ideas. What you just read was the prologue.

What to expect

I will be uploading this story one chapter at a time, HOWEVER I will not upload a chapter as soon as I have finished writing it. If my time on fanfiction.net has taught me anything, it’s that writing a story one chapter at a time is a bad idea. Don’t worry, I will not wait until I’ve finished the entire story, but I will make sure that everything is properly planned out.

My version of the story will draw inspiration from various sources, including Raising The Bar, the Half-Life wiki and any other sources I find about Half-Life 2’s original story. Now, because there are many different versions depending on what stage of production you look at, I will mix everything I find at will, INCLUDING the final retail version of Half-Life 2. Several cut enemies will be integrated, some existing characters and enemies will be based more on their concept art or old models than their final versions (I might include images when I do this, just for extra clarity), sometimes I’ll just make stuff up in order to make this story work as an adaptation.

Don’t expect chapter 1 to be out any time soon. Like I said, I’m gonna make sure I have everything planned before I start uploading. I am currently unable to put any type of estimate on how long this will take.

Half-Life 1 is untouched in this story, it is canon as it appears in-game. So no Kingpin or Mr. Friendly.

Yes, this story does take place 10 years after Half-Life 1, rather than the canonical 20 years. That’s just what the original G-Man scenes say.

What is still open to change?

Pretty much everything.

The title. I am not 100% sure about the title yet, I went with “Anticitizen” because it sounded good and it fits the story.

POV. I am still debating whether or not I should make it 3rd person instead of 1st.

To talk or not to talk. Do I try to make a silent protagonist work? Or do I keep Gordon’s talking to a minimum?

What exactly I will and won’t include. There is so much cut content for Half-Life 2, I can’t possibly integrate everything. Luckily, the written format lends itself to much better to easily integrating many different things than the video game format. You don’t have to worry about AI programming, modelling or engaging gameplay. Just write well.

Even this prologue might be altered later. This is just a preview.

Please let your interest in this project show, it’ll help get the next chapter done faster. If there’s any interest, I might post more updates along the process of creation. Everything will be posted under the tag “anticitizen”.

Any and all suggestions/feedback/questions/criticism are welcome! (as long as you are civil)

Thank you, and prepare for unforeseen consequences.

#half life #half life 2 #anticitizen #raising the bar #gordon freeman #gman #my writing #writing #fanfiction

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what-is-your-plan-today · 5 years ago

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Stark Spangled Banner Ch39: The Reunion

Intro: As the remaining Avengers continue their search for Tony, help arrives in the form of an unknown face...and after two agonising years Katie is reunited with her brother.

Warnings: Bad Language words, grief, hellavulotta angst, SMUT (NSFW) NO UNDER 18s.

Pairing:Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist

A couple of mornings later, 11 days post the Snap, Nat decided she couldn’t take it anymore and told Steve she wanted to go to Clint’s.

“I have to know.” she said, looking at Steve. He sighed and glanced over her shoulder to Katie who merely shrugged. She knew where Nat was coming from, it was killing her not knowing what had happened to Tony.

“Alright.” he acquiesced, “Let me grab a jacket.”

“I’ll meet you on the jet?” she asked. He nodded and watched her go before he turned to his wife who was studying him over her coffee. "If Barton was alive he would have been here by now.” Steve dragged a hand down over his beard as he dropped onto the sofa next to Katie “I don’t understand why she doesn’t see or get that?”

"Put yourself in her shoes.” Katie sighed as she curled in on herself under a blanket on the sofa as a particularly nasty cramp hit her stomach “You’d do the same thing for Bucky, or Sam, or me.”

"You know that I would." he replied, noticing her shift in position and he frowned but before he could say anything she placed her hand on his bearded cheek.

“Then just go, let her see. Plus, you could be wrong.”

“I suppose it’s happened from time to time.” he quipped and Katie smiled as he leaned over to press their foreheads together.

“Are you feeling ok?”

“Not really” she replied honestly, “But I’ve taken some painkillers, and Dr Kellet is coming over later. Thank fuck she wasn’t snapped.”

“I can ask Thor to go with Nat instead.” Steve looked at his wife who shook her head. “She asked you for a reason.” Katie said gently, “She trusts you. And I think if its bad news, she’s gonna need you.”

“Ok, well, if you’re sure.” he looked at her again and she nodded. “I love you.”

“I know.” she smiled “I love you too. Now go.”

Barton’s farm was deserted. As the two of them walked around, Steve found his attention drawn to the picnic table not too far from where they had landed. It was loaded with condiments, plates, cutlery and scraps of food as a squirrel darted off the top from where it had been routing through whatever other animals had left. Steve couldn’t help but remember the first time he had visited, the normality of Barton’s life outside the Avengers. He had kids, a wife…at the time he’d almost been jealous, wondering if he and Katie could ever get that life. And then he’d gone and caused them both to be on the run, essentially ending that domestic dream.

And if he hadn’t, then Thanos certainly had.

Natasha, meanwhile had stalked straight into the house. Steve, hearing the door snap shut behind her turned and watched as she stalked back out of the farm house and over to the barn at the far side of the yard. Nothing had changed.

“Natasha?” he called.

She didn’t respond. With a sigh Steve jogged after her and followed her into the barn as she dodged round the tractor in the middle to a door at the far side. Steve noticed a key pad at the side and Natasha clearly knew the code as a moment later there was a beep and it swung open to reveal what he supposed could only be referred to as an office of sorts, or as Katie would refer to it a ‘man-cave’. There was a desk and some hi tech coms devices sat on it along with a computer. At the other side was a large flat screen TV mounted on the wall, a small couch, a stereo but none of that was what Natasha was looking at. She’d headed directly to some form of smaller room at the back and opened that to reveal a shelving unit of sorts. On one of them was an empty case that had clearly held a bow and arrow. Natasha then bent over and when she stood up Steve noticed she was holding a government issued ankle bracelet that had obviously at one point been around Clint’s ankle. Not anymore, it was in 2 pieces.

"He's alive," Nat said, her voice cracking “Steve. he’s…he’s alive"

It was good news in a way, but then again, where was he? Surely if he and his family had survived he would have headed to the compound to find the rest of them. But this looked like he had left in a hurry. Alone. Which made Steve think that his family hadn’t been so lucky.

Natasha, satisfied that Clint was alive but clearly nowhere to be found at the farm, suggested they head home and see if they could track him from the compound. Steve hadn’t the heart to tell her that he didn’t think they’d have much of a chance and he knew deep down she probably thought the same thing. Instead he nodded and they headed back over to the jet, which is when the pair of them heard something skulking around the side of the house. Natasha whipped out her gun as they both cautiously approached. As soon as Steve saw who it was he relaxed.

“Hey buddy.” he said, bending down to pet the sandy coloured one-eyed dog

“Clint just left him.” Nat sighed.

“He won’t have been thinking straight, Nat.” Steve said, looking up at her, then around slightly, chewing the inside of his cheek before he made a decision. “We’ll take him home with us.” He stood up and, giving a sharp whistle, he was pleased to find the dog simply trotted behind him, up the ramp and happily curled up in a corner on a fleece blanket Natasha laid out for him.

“Do you know how old he is?” Steve asked, nodding to the dog.

“Well when they found him in 2011 the vets estimated he was about six months old…so seven give or take.” Steve straightened up and he looked around. Clint’s ankle tag had gotten him thinking, there was someone else they should probably check in on as well. He voiced his thoughts to Natasha who nodded, and plugged in the co-ordinates for an airfield in San Francisco which was about thirty miles away from the address Scott Lang had listed on his house arrest details. In little over an hour and 45 minutes later they pulled up outside Lang’s house and told the cab driver to wait.

When no one answered Steve simply kicked the door in and once they were inside they found it had been deserted some time ago. The remnants of a breakfast lay on a plate on the side growing mould and there was a mug and a plate in the sink. Natasha headed up the stairs, as Steve checked around the ground floor to see if there was anything that might give them a clue. The only thing he noticed was a calendar. The date of the Snap was circled, 23rd April, and next to it was written “QR- Research.”

He didn’t have a clue what that meant. As he walked back into the hall Nat came down the stairs and joined him.

“No sign of anything being packed from his closet and his bed wasn’t made.” She shrugged

Steve nodded. “His calendar seems to suggest he had a research date or something but other than that…hang on…”

He stopped by the phone in the hall, the red-light was blinking to show there was a message. Steve hit play and they stood stock still listening to the message.

“Hi daddy” a little girls voice spoke. Steve knew Scott had a daughter, but it struck him then he had never even bothered to ask her name. “I tried your mobile but you’re obviously busy doing cool stuff with Hope and Dr Pymm…Mom said that you should come over tonight for 4pm now your tag is off and it’s your favourite for tea. Oh and I got a new ant farm for you to try out. I love you, byeeeee!”

Scott took 2 years house arrest to be with his family and Steve knew he wouldn’t run out. The only logical explanation was that he too had been turned to dust.

“Think we’ve seen enough?” Nat sighed.

“Yeah.” Steve nodded “Let’s head home.”

***** “Well,” Dr Kellet looked at Katie as she sat up on the bed, “there’s nothing physically wrong. Everything looks ok. I expect the cramps will settle down soon.”

Katie nodded and looked at her hands.

“How are you though?” the Doctor looked at her and Katie sighed.

“I’m okay, I suppose. I mean, I know there’s nothing I can do about it but it doesn’t stop me wondering you know, if I could have done something or-”

“Even in the case with normal miscarriages there’s nothing that anyone can do.” the Doctor spoke softly. “It’s a natural reaction, Mrs Rogers, you’re still in the grief cycle.” the Dr snapped her bag shut. “Don’t be too hard on yourself. Give yourself time.”

“That’s what Steve keeps saying.” Katie said softly

“How has he been?” “Amazing.” Katie smiled instantly “He’s been an absolute rock, I know he’s upset himself but he just…” she trailed off. “It’s good that you have one another.” Dr Kellet smiled as she handed Katie her bag containing her pill. Neither of them spoke much, it was a silent gesture that made them both feel a little strange. They hadn’t even discussed the subject but with everything that was going on Katie had to acknowledge that going forward even the simple things like obtaining medical treatment was going to be much more difficult as they’d lost half the people that kept medical centres open. Doctors, Nurses, receptionists, porters…

“I’m going to be meeting with the Local Authorities.” Dr Kellet looked at Katie as if she had read her mind “All the remaining specialists are, sort of a how we go forward planning session.” “Let me know if we can help in anyway.” Katie said “That’s what we have the Stark Relief fund for.” Dr Kellet nodded. The two exchanged goodbyes and the Ob-Gyn left, leaving Katie alone with her thoughts which were disrupted when she heard her phone going. It was a message from Steve to tell her they were on their way home with good and bad news. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to know but she assumed the good news was Clint was alive, the bad news being perhaps the kids or Laura weren’t. Deciding she would rather heat it in person she replied and told him she’d leave some dinner for them both in the communal kitchen and with that she headed off to find something he could cook. Such a normal thing to be thinking about. It felt good.

****

Steve and Natasha landed home at just gone eight in the evening. And, given that they hadn’t eaten since breakfast, they headed straight to the kitchen with Lucky in tow and found the leftovers of Katie’s lasagne. Whilst it was warming up Steve gave Lucky a drink and then found some left over chicken and scraps of vegetables from the roast dinner the night before and placed them down in a dish for him to eat. Lucky wolfed his make shift dinner down, and so did they. Between them they ate the entire lot of left overs, along with a helping of salad and then walked down the dimly lit corridors, dog on their heels. It was completely deserted.

“Feels odd doesn’t it?” Nat remarked “I mean it was always so busy.” “We will fix this Nat.” Steve spoke, and he wasn’t sure where his optimism was coming from, but seeing Clint was alive gave him more hope than he’d had that morning.

“Thank you for coming.” She said as they stopped by the stairs that led to her apartment “I really appreciate it.”

“No problem.” Steve smiled, giving her a hug. “Do you wanna take our guest or should I?” he gestured down to the dog. She shook her head “Katie has a soft spot for that dog, besides, I prefer cats.”

That didn’t surprise him in the slightest. He found himself smiling slightly as he replied, “Alright, see you in the morning.” before he watched her up the steps and was pleased to see some of her usual Black Widow swagger had returned.

“Come on buddy.” he turned to the dog which obediently trotted besides him, tongue lolling, his one eye trained on the super soldier.

Katie was awake in bed, the speakers in the room playing what sounded like the Trouble Man soundtrack as she lay on her side, facing the door, her hands absentmindedly playing with the pillow she had clutched to her chest.

“Hey.” he said as he walked in and she looked up, smiling softly. He leaned over to give her a gentle kiss “You feeling ok?” “Yeah.” she sat up “What did you find?”

“Clint’s alive.” Steve shrugged off his jacket and laying it on the back of the chair by the dressing table. Katie gave a sigh of relief which was short lived as she spotted the look on Steve’s face.

“What is it?”

“There’s no sign of him. He’d bust off his tag and left. I don’t think his family made it.” Katie bowed her head “They’re gone? All of them?”

“I think so yeah.”

“Fuck.” Katie screwed shut her eyes as her head fell back and she looked to the ceiling.

“We do, however have a guest.” Steve added, looking over at her.

“Who?”

“Lucky.” At the sound of his name the dog came pounding into the bedroom and jumped on the bed.

“I couldn’t just leave him there” Steve explained as Katie smiled and leaned over to scratch the dog behind his ears, promptly causing him to lay down, his head in Katie’s lap. She wrinkled up her nose “He stinks!”

“Yeah well he’s been alone since Clint left, God knows what he’s been up to or eating.”

Katie looked down at the dog who rolled over for a belly scratch and she obliged.

“It doesn’t look like Lang made it either.” Steve sighed, watching as Katie tickled the animal.

She shook her head sadly, a tear falling onto the bed as Lucky rolled back over and moved to lick the side of her face before he jumped down on the floor.

“Nat wants to give Barton a few more days to cool off before we look for him but I’m not sure he wants to be found." Steve shook his head, dropping onto the side of the bed and removing his shoes and then his shirt thinking back to what he had seen at Clint’s. He laid his palms flat on the bed and dropped his head gently, letting out a sigh. He heard the sheets rustle as Katie edged her way closer to him, leaning her head on the back of his shoulder, nuzzling her cheek against him.

"How is Nat?" she asked.

"A little bit better now that we know he's alive."

Katie nodded as she dropped a kiss to the back of Steve’s shoulder before he stood up, “I’m gonna take a shower, I won’t be long.”

“Okay. Where’s Lucky gonna sleep?”

“I dunno.” Steve eyed up the dog who was now led on his back on the floor as if he’d been with them all his life “Looks like he’s comfy there.” “Yeah, it does.” Katie smiled.

Whilst Steve was in the shower Katie went into the closet and pulled out one of the old duvets for Lucky to sleep on, folding it up and placing it at the end of the bed. Steve was out of the shower shortly and climbed into bed besides Katie, reaching over and turning off the light before he settled down on his back and Katie cuddled up to him, head on his chest

“So what have you been up to today?” he asked gently, his hand rubbing her back.

“Still trying to get a lock on where Tony is.” she said softly “And then I saw Dr Kellet, made dinner and then I wasn’t feeling great if I’m honest. So I came back here and Thor sat with me for a while, just talking.” He pulled her a little closer, his chest tightening at the thought of her hurting and him not being there “What did Dr Kellet say?” “Nothing much. Says I’m physically alright, any discomfort I’m feeling should be gone soon.” “Do you need anything? Pain relief or…” She shook her head “I’m ok, honestly.”

They both fell silent for a moment, before she broke the silence.

“You now, knowing Clint is alive makes me feel a little more optimistic.”

“Optimistic?”

“Yeah, think about it.” she said, her hand tracing shapes on his bare chest “That’s 6 out of 7 of the original Avengers confirmed alive. Tony has to be as well, it makes sense.” “I’m not following.” Steve frowned. She propped herself up, so that she was leaning on his chest “Thor was talking before about how he thought after Ultron that we had been pawns in someone’s intricate game, that someone we know now to be Thanos. But those stones, they have a magic beyond anything we know. Thor doesn’t believe for a second that who’s left is merely a coincidence and neither do I. It’s happened for a reason. Tony’s out there, I can feel it. We just need to find him.” “Honey, I understand what you’re saying…” Steve started, he wasn’t sure he agreed. He didn’t believe in fate, it was bullshit. But before he could say anything else she cut him off.

“Please don’t.” she said, shaking her head. “Don’t what?”

“Take this hope away from me.” she whispered, her eyes locking onto his in the dim light of the room “Apart from you it’s all I have right now.”

He sighed and nodded, chastising himself. If it made her feel better who was he to try and make her think any differently just because he did? Eventually they would have to face facts but now, well he just wanted her to get through the next few days, one at a time so he bit back his response and kissed her head. “Sorry, you’re right. As long as there’s hope, we have a chance.” She kissed him gently before settling back down, and it wasn’t long before she drifted off. *****

Clint had obviously trained Lucky to chase Raccoons as Rocket spent half his time over the next week dodging the dog’s pounces only to eventually solve the issue by screaming at the canine making him halt dead in his tracks, eyeing the animal in front of him with curiosity.

Thor returned from another scouting trip with no news or sign of his people and this time he set deep into a brooding depression, appearing only for meals. Not even Katie could talk him round. Pepper was keeping herself busy liaising with who was left at Stark Industries, turning her attention onto how they could help after Katie had told her about Dr Kellet and the Health Authorities. It kept Pepper busy and gave her something to focus on.

Steve, Natasha and Rhodey spent most of their time talking to the people who were conducting the census and the authorities, whilst Katie buried herself away with Rocket and Bruce trying to calibrate the scanners to reach further into space, bouncing off the NASA satellites to boost their range. But they continued to get nothing. And every night, Steve and Katie would disappear together, out walking Lucky in the grounds, the two of them just taking a moment to themselves and it fast became the time of day the two of them looked forward to the most.

The elephant in the room was Fury’s pager. In the two weeks they had now had it, no one had managed to get working, not even Rocket, despite his attempts to fix the booster that was attached to it. As the 19th post snap afternoon drew to a close, the Racoon let out a frustrated sigh and downed the small screwdriver he had been using and shook his head.

“Shit.” He said, hanging his head. “If I had the right parts I could sort this easy, but without getting up to Contraxier I wouldn’t know where to start.” “What’s Contraxier?” Katie asked.

“A market-slash-junk-slash-booze hole” Rocket shrugged “can find most stuff there. That’s where I stole Thor’s eye.”

Katie knew better than to ask.

“It’s so goddamned annoying.” Rocket continued. “I mean it’s a simple technology too, they’re ten a credit. All it needs to do is produce a magnetic field across each of these coils and bingo.” Katie looked at Bruce whose head had shot up.

“Say that again?” he said gently. “These coils.” Rocket pointed to the item as Bruce walked over. “Each of them needs a magnetic core. All of the little magnetic forces add together through the core and it powers the…what?” he asked as Bruce looked at Katie and she grinned.

“An electromagnet?” She shook her head, almost laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation. “That’s all it is?” “I’ve no idea what you Terrans call it, but if that’s what that does then yeah.” “I can’t believe it.” Bruce picked up the device and slid it under the large magnifying glass Rocket had been using “I took my eye off the ball, I could have sorted this straight away…” “You’re kidding me right?” Rocket sighed “Seriously?”

Bruce rushed around, grabbing various bits of material and settled down at a seat bending over the device, his nose barely an inch away from it.

“I’ll fetch the others.” Rocket sighed, wandering out of the room.

Rocket returned a few moments later, flanked by Natasha, Rhodey and Steve just in time to hear Bruce’s yell of success.

“It was an electromagnet. A god-damned electromagnet.” he said, shaking his head as he stood up and placed the Pager on a plinth inside one of the glass cages used to experiment in. He fiddled around with some wires, muttering to himself before standing back. As they crowded round, the screen on the pager lit up. The word “SENDING” flashed across the screen and they all looked at one another.

Another glimmer of hope…

*****

Their excitement was short lived, as nothing came of the device. It simply continued to send the signal for a good 2 days on end, no one answering and Steve found himself wondering if whoever was on the other side had been dusted too.

“More census results.” Natasha said, tapping a button as Steve walked into the room, coffee in his hand, Katie following.

The 3D globe flashed up, along with numerous digital displays of numbers that kept rolling, and rolling increasing in front of their eyes. He placed his mug down and sighed, leaning over the table so he could get a closer look “God, this is a nightmare.”

“I’ve had better nightmares.” Katie mumbled, her eyes on the ever increasing death tolls.

“Hey.” Rhodey appeared in the door and they all turned to face him. “So that thing just stopped doing whatever the hell it was doing.”

Nat, Steve and Katie exchanged a glance before they followed him out of the room.

“What have we got?” Nat asked as they walked into the lab.

“Whatever signal it was sending finally crapped out.” Bruce said as they stared through the glass sided container at the pager that had been running for the last few days.

“I thought we by-passed the battery?” Steve spoke from where he stood a few steps behind Katie.

“Well we did.” Rhodey replied “It was still plugged in it just… just stopped.”

Steve looked up to his left before he glanced back at the item and took a deep breath “Re-boot it, send the signal again.”

“We don’t even know what this is…” Bruce began to protest and Katie cut him off, turning to look at him

“Fury did.”

“Katie’s right, just do it please?” Natasha said, as she too turned from the object to look at Bruce. “Tell me the second you get a signal, I wanna know who’s on the other end of that thing.”

She turned to leave the room and Katie followed her with her eyes as she stopped dead due to the presence of a blonde woman she had never seen before in her life. She was dressed in a red and blue combat suit of sorts which had gold shoulder pads which led into three golden stripes across her chest, culminating in a gold nova-style star of some kind. Katie felt a little bit indignant at the sight if she was honest. That star style had been given to her.

Lucky gave a bark as Katie nudged Steve. He looked from the pager, to her, followed her gaze and immediately straightened up, drawing himself taller as he turned to face the woman as she eyeballed Natasha and spoke clearly.

“Where’s Fury?”

“He’s not here.” Steve stepped forward putting himself in between Katie and the newcomer as he eyed her up and down. “I’m sorry, and I don’t mean to be rude but who are you?”

“Name’s Carol, Carol Danvers.”

“Carol Danvers?” Katie frowned, stepping forward as she instantly recognised the name.

“You know her?” Steve asked and Katie turned to face him.

“Kinda. When we took down Hydra at the Triskellion, Fury had the retinal scan we used hidden under that name, Carol Danvers.” Katie turned from Steve to scrutinise the small woman in front of her. “You were important enough for him to page when people started to vanish, and important enough for him to use your name to hide a clearance under.” Katie paused, looking straight at the woman “Who are you to him?”

“A friend” She said, vaguely “We go way back. I gave him that pager so he could reach of me in case of emergency, I haven't heard from him in over twenty years so I’ll ask again, where is he?"

"Dead.” Nat said simply

“Dead?” Carol’s face slipped a little bit. “How?”

“Thanos.” Katie replied simply.

“The mad Titan?”

“You heard of him then?” Rhodey scoffed “Yeah well, he came to Earth wielding his infinity stones and…”

“He’s been chasing Infinity stones.” it was a statement not a question as Carol closed her eyes, her voice almost a groan.

“He ain’t chasing them, he found them.” Steve sighed “He found them and eighteen days ago he used them wiping out, we suspect, fifty percent of the entire Universe.” “With a literal click of his fingers.” Rhodey added.

"Half the universe?" Carol mumbled to herself, "That explains it."

"Explains what?" Katie questioned.

"It's been chaos out there for the past two weeks, I've been getting distress calls from all over the galaxy." She sighed.

“Exactly why did Fury have a pager which connected him to you for emergencies?” Nat asked, her eyes still narrowed slightly.

“I have powers.” Carol spoke and Steve could tell she was picking her words carefully “From an accident”

“Accident?” he frowned “Yes, that occurred during Project Pegasus.”

Nat and Katie exchanged a glance that Steve didn’t miss.

“What the hell was Project Pegasus?” Bruce asked.

“It was a joint initiative between NASA and the Airforce to analyse and study new aircraft engines.” Rhodey answered.

“To the public.” Kate added softly. “In reality it was the cover used for the project to study the Tesseract.”

Steve let out a groan. “Why does everything come back to that damned cube?” “Yeah well that ‘damned cube’ and I had an accident, and I absorbed its power.” Carol sniffed as she rubbed at her temple “Has Fury never mentioned me to you guys? Not even once?” They all shook their heads.

“That’s a bummer. Especially seeing as you’re named after me.”

“Named after you?” Steve frowned

“My pilot tag” Carol smiled slightly as she looked round “I was Captain Carol ‘Avenger’ Danvers, you are the Avengers, right?”

“What’s left of them.” Steve folded his arms across his chest.

“You were Fury’s first Super Hero.” Katie looked at her, cocking her head slightly, studying the woman some more. “You’re what inspired him to put a gang of us together.”

“Apparently so…”

Before they had chance to question her further Rocket walked in.

“Is that a racoon?” Carol frowned, staring at the creature who looked up at her, raising his eyebrow before he sarcastically replied.

“You want a photo or summin?”

Carol stayed that evening and they sat up late into the night as she explained everything about who she was, what had happened between her and Fury in the Nineties and for some reason, Steve and Katie both felt they could trust her. It was a boost, if anything, to have someone else on their side.

The next morning after a rest and food, she was preparing to set off again and had given their spirits somewhat of a lift with her promise of what she could do.

“I’ve got places I can try, favours I can call in, people I can speak to.” She said, scanning a photo of Tony into her device on the wrist. “And then I’ll go wherever the trail leads. If your brother is out there, and your friends, I’ll find them.”

Katie nodded.

“You should be calibrated to our coms.” Bruce looked up as Carol tapped again at her arm and nodded.

“I’ve boosted your scanners and your signals too.” she said.

Silently Natasha, Steve and Katie walked her out of the facility, Steve taking Katie’s hand in his as they rounded the corner that led to the doors. They swung open revealing the now dark sky and Steve noticed Katie glance up, something which had become a habit, almost as if she was hoping to see a sign Tony was there. Which of course she never did.

Suddenly, Natasha gave a gasp whilst Steve jumped backwards, pulling Katie with him as Carol lit up, like she was on fire, but when he looked closer he noticed it was some kind of bright energy that engulfed her as she hovered off the floor and turned to look at them, her eyes full of humour.

“Yeah sorry, should have warned you about my party trick” she chuckled slightly.

This woman had some power, and it made Steve wonder why Fury had never introduced them to her before. But that was a question for another day.

“I’ll be in touch.” She said and with that she was gone, as fast as she had arrived, shooting through the air like a star leaving Lucky jumping up and barking in her wake.

Natasha looked over at Steve and Katie, and rightly reading the situation decided to leave them alone “I’m going to let Pepper know what she said about finding Tony.” She nodded to the couple and wandered back towards the doors as Katie looked back up again.

“Sweetheart?” Steve questioned, and she turned to face him, her eyes full of tears.

“This is it” she shrugged “This is the best chance we’ve had, and probably will have and…” She couldn’t think of the words to explain how she was feeling. She was excited, excited that they had a plan. But then there was also a feeling of dread in her chest. Dread about what it was Carol was going to find, if she found anything. She wrapped her arms tightly round Steve as he pulled her to him, holding her close.

“Keep hold of that hope.” He said gently, his hand stroking through her hair. “Keep hold until we know any different.”

*****

“Titan is a mess.” Carol sighed, her hologram flickered slightly. It was three days since she had left the compound and this was the first they had heard of her since. It wasn’t great news. A lead on Thanos had taken her to his home planet, even though it was assumed destroyed a while back. “There’s clearly been a big fight here but there’s no sign of anyone now. I have a few more potential leads thought, so I’ll follow them up.”

“Sweetheart.” Steve sighed gently, turning to Katie so she could step into his arms and press her face against his chest and simply stay there, the tears dampening his T-shirt as he gently stroked her head. This had been her last hope, that Carol would find something. But they were still none the wiser and every day that past Tony’s chances were getting slimmer, Steve knew that. After a moment or so she pulled back, reaching up to wipe at her eyes and he looked down at her, his handsome face full of concern.

“I’m gonna go back to the apartment.” she said. “Take a shower…”

“Alright.” He nodded and to make sure he understood that she needed space, not from him, but just to be alone with her thoughts, she reached up, gently touched his cheek and stood on her tiptoes to kiss the whiskers that adorned his chin and face. Steve watched her go before he turned back to Natasha who was bent over looking at something on a tablet.

“What you looking at?” he asked and Nat glanced up at him with a sigh.

“Potential sighting of Clint.” she said, turning it to face him. He squinted a little. It looked a bit like Barton, but he couldn’t be sure. “I ran a facial recognition. Got a few hits, but we all look so different now, we all are so different now.”

Something about that line powered home to Steve as he headed back towards their quarters an hour or so later. The arrival of Carol four days ago had galvanised the group into remembering who they were, even if they didn’t feel like it anymore. They were the Avengers. Fury’s greatest plan, and the ones to whom the survivors of the snap were looking to for direction.

Steve had realised recently that shield or no shield, he needed to be Captain America, even if he didn’t want to be. He had to lead this gang from the front lines, just like always, not as a vigilante that fought the bad guys from the shadows, hiding from a government that had declared him the enemy.

He walked into their bedroom and saw Katie was flat out on the bed, Lucky by her side. Gently he worked the covers up around her, flicked on the lamp on the night stand and gave the dog a quick pat before he pulled off his black sweater and moved into the bathroom glancing in the mirror. He scratched at his chin and gave a sigh. As much as Katie loved the facial hair, Captain America didn’t have a beard, but still, she was going to kill him for this...

Katie woke up five or so minutes later and stretched, her feet kicking at the blankets which had been pulled up around her. She blinked and looked around, Steve’s black sweater was tossed over the back of the chair and she could hear running water coming from the en-suite as the door was slightly ajar. Climbing out of bed she strolled over to the bathroom door as the water stopped and she nudged it open further to lean against the frame, just in time to see Steve raise a towel to dry off his face. When he lowered it she could see the reflection of a familiarly clean shaven jawline.

The beard she loved so much was gone.

He locked eyes with her in the reflection of the mirror, almost nervously. Deep down Katie had known this was coming, it was only a matter of time seeing as he’d settled back into his role as leader of the Avengers as easily as he had left it.

“Captain America doesn’t have a beard…”

She smiled and walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his toned waist kissing his muscular shoulder which was bare thanks to his white vest. Wanting to be closer to him she pushed up on her toes to nuzzle behind his ear and his eyes closed when she kissed the side of his neck. He shivered a little at the contact, dropped the towel to the sink and turned in her arms loosely wrapping his own around her.

Katie just stared at him for a moment taking in his cleanly shaven face, the familiar sideburns, and sharp jawline. His hair was still longer though, despite the fact she had trimmed it for him a few days ago. He’d wanted to keep it slightly longer on top, pushed back off his face. To be honest she liked it like that, it reminded her of when they had first met. That said she’d also loved his spikey short do and his longer no-mad locks…frankly he was gorgeous either way.

"You know I really loved that beard," she sighed as she looked up at him “Can’t believe you murdered it…”

“Murdered it?” he raised an eyebrow, as she reached up to gently take his smooth jaw in her fingertips.

“Yes, murdered it. But I’ll let you off, because you are ridiculously handsome.”

Steve smiled a little crookedly and leaning down connected their lips in a soft, slow kiss that quickly became heated, when his tongue touched hers. His hands slid down the length of her back, over her ass, his fingers skating the back of her bare thighs which sent a fire coursing through her body, drawing a soft groan from her as he continued to kiss her, hard. They both needed this, needed the contact, needed to fill that gaping hole and emptiness they had both been feeling for the past few weeks. Katie slid her hands down, tugging up his top briefly as he moved his kisses down the side of her neck. Her fingers grazed his hips then hooked into his belt to begin undoing it but his hands gently stopped her.

“Sweetheart.” He swallowed, his breath deep. “I don’t want to hurt you, you know after…”

“You would never hurt me.” she whispered.

He looked down at her once more, and then he knew he was kidding himself. Over three weeks it had been since they’d made love and that was too fucking long for his liking. His lips crashed onto hers but before they could resume where they had been, they were both jolted as suddenly the air was filled with a loud rumbling. Curiously Steve reached out to steady the mirror which was shaking and then the entire building started to rattle and they looked at each other in confusion.

"FRIDAY?" Katie called out.

"Something has entered the atmosphere Mrs Rogers" The AI responded calmly, "A vessel is being brought towards the facility.”

And then there was a banging on their door, but Rhodey didn’t wait for them to answer. Wrenching it open he ran into the living room calling their names. Katie shot out of the bathroom and into the hall, Steve hot on her tails, grabbing his sweater off the chair and pulling it over his head as he headed into the living room.

"It's Danvers.” Rhodey look at Katie who took a deep breath “She found him."

Katie’s chest began to heave, she felt like her heart was going to pound out of her ribcage. Her hand flew to her mouth as Steve dropped a hand to her shoulder.

"Alive?" she managed to whisper.

“He was when she found him.” Rhodey replied gently.

Without a further word Katie set off sprinting through the facility, not waiting for anyone. She burst out onto the lawns, where Pepper was already waiting, staring up at the sky. Steve followed along with Natasha, Bruce and Rhodey, all of them coming to a stop and watching as the massive space ship rounded the corner, carried by Carol who was encased in a golden orb of light. Katie gently took Pepper’s hand in hers and squeezed her fingers, neither of them moving their gaze from the ship, as it made its way to the ground, deposited onto the grass.

With a hiss the ramp dropped and there he was, being supported by a blue woman. He looked weak. He’d lost a lot of weight, needed a shave, a shower and he looked so pale.

But he was alive!

At the same time Katie let out a soft cry, Steve swore as he spotted instantly how bad Tony looked. He sprinted forward, passing Katie who was rooted to the spot and ran up the steps, taking Tony’s weight off the blue woman. Tony gripped his arm and looked at Steve, before turning his head to watch where he was going.

“I couldn’t stop him.” he said quietly.

“Neither could I.” Steve replied.

“I lost the kid.”

“Tony, we lost.” Steve said gently, looking at his brother-in-law, there was guilt and fear plaguing his face in a way that Steve had never seen before. In turn, Tony studied the man in front of him, scared to ask the next question.

“Yeah, is err…” Tony looked up and his eyes fell first on Katie then Pepper who, following a gently nudge in the back from Katie, took the last few steps towards him

"Oh my God!" Pepper exclaimed, looking him up and down quickly, seeing how sickly he looked. Tony visibly sighed when he saw her, feeling like he was seeing the sun for the first time as she gently pulled him into a hug, wrapping her arm around his neck to hold him close as she sobbed against his hollow cheek. Tony breathed deeply, shaking slightly as he pressed a firm kiss on her cheek.

Katie who was watching the reunion covered her mouth with her hands and found herself shaking as the tears fell thick and fast. Eventually Pepper pulled away slightly and Tony placed his arm round her shoulder as Steve supported him on his other side. A couple more strides and he was in front of his sister looking into those green eyes, eyes that belonged to their mother. It had been almost 2 years since he had seen her, and he could tell she was scared, frightened about what he was going to say. But he only had two words for her.

“Hey Kiddo”

The sound of his familiar greeting broke Katie and she let out a loud sob stepping forward. As she gently wrapped her arms round him she cried into his shoulder, babbling her apologies.

“I’m so sorry Tone, I’ve missed you so much.” she sobbed as he brought a hand up, resting it on the back of her head.

“I’m sorry too.” He said, his voice choking slightly “So sorry my beautiful girl, God I missed you.”

*****

“I need a cheeseburger.” Tony grumbled, and Katie’s face split into a grin as Pepper took hold of his hand from where she was sitting by his bed in a chair.

“Maybe in a few days, pal.” Banner smiled as he gently patted Tony’s shoulder. Katie looked up and Bruce jerked his head to the door of the room. She followed him out and the pair of them were joined by Steve and Rhodey who had been hovering at the back of the medic bay.

“He’s lucky.” Banner looked at Katie “The wound in his abdomen missed everything major and he appears to have fought off most of the infection thanks to Nebula, but I’ve given him a course of IV antibiotics to be on the safe side. He’s slightly dehydrated and a little underweight, but other than needing a lot of rest he should be fine.”

“Thank you Bruce.” Katie said, looking back through the window into the room. Tony had his head lay on the pillow, tilted in Pepper’s direction, a smile spreading across his face as they talked.

“I’m gonna stay with him.” She said, looking back to Steve and then to Rhodey. “Can you make sure that Nebula and Carol get some food and a place to stay?”

“Course.” Rhodey said as Steve pressed a kiss to the side of her head

“I’ll be back later to check on him.” Bruce nodded.

Katie watched the three men leave before she walked into the room. Pepper and Tony both looked up at her as she sat on the edge of Tony’s bed.”

“Pep could you give us a minute?” he asked. She nodded and stood up, touching Katie’s shoulder once as she left, the door clicking shut behind her. Katie turned back to her brother who reached out with his cold hand and wrapped it around hers

“Kiddo, I’m so sorry.” “So am I.” she whispered, her tears forming “There hasn’t been a day over the last twp years I haven’t thought about you.” “Same.I wanted to call so bad but…” He trailed off, his voice cracking. “Stubborn ass hole, remember.” “That’s the Starks for you.” She smiled.

“What I said to you, it was unforgivable.” Tony’s brown eyes locked onto hers, shining with tears. “And I know it sounds stupid but I didn’t mean any of it, not really…“

“Rhodey told me why you said it.” she said softly as she looked at her hands, the tears falling onto the sheets “I should have told you about mom and dad.”

“None of that matters now.” Tony shook his head, gently squeezing her hands.

She fell silent again, wiping at her face, before she took a deep breath, steeling herself as she knew she had to tell him what had happened. Because if he found out of someone else…

“Tony, there’s something you need to know, before anyone else tells you.” she looked at him.

“What?” he frowned.

“When Thanos, when he came to Wakanda…” the tears still fell “I was…I was pregnant, but we didn’t know and…” “Was? Oh no.” her brother’s face scrunched up as his hands wrapped even harder round hers. “Kiddo I’m…” “Don’t.” she smiled sadly at him. “Don’t say you’re sorry, please.”

“I am sorry. Sorry I wasn’t there with you.”

“You’re here now” she looked at him. He smiled and opened his arms and she lent down next to him, gently laying her head on his bony chest, closing her eyes and relishing his presence. It was as if the past two years had never happened as she lay there whilst he comforted her, the way he always had done.

“Nice hair by the way.” he quipped, making her chuckle.

“Thanks. Part of my disguise.” “Mmmm doesn’t work, can still see your face.”

“Why do you think Steve grew a beard?” she looked up at him

“Spangles grew a beard? A proper one?” Tony cocked his head to one side, eyebrow arching.

“Yup.” Katie nodded. “It was pretty impressive to be fair. I’ll show you a photo at some point.”

Pepper returned to the room at that point and Katie sat up, moving off Tony’s bed, pulling another chair up from the corner. He lasted approximately twenty more minutes before sleep overwhelmed him and he closed his eyes, out for the count.

“You should go.” Pepper looked over at Katie. Katie started to protest but Pepper cut her off. “I know you think you’re invincible, but you’re not. Maybe Steve won’t put his foot down with you over this but I will. You’ve had an ordeal, we all have, but you especially need to look after yourself. Go to bed.” “Damned.” Katie frowned “When did you get so bossy.”

“Comes from living with him.” she jerked her head at Tony “The amount of times I’ve found him collapsed over a computer.”

Katie smiled fondly before she clocked the stern look Pepper was giving her and stood up, “Fine…but…” “If anything changes I’ll get FRIDAY to call you straight away.” With a deep breath Katie stood up, dropped a kiss to Tony’s head and left. The rubber band that had been wrapped around her chest for so long had slackened but getting Tony back was the tip of the iceberg. She knew that the next step would be to find Thanos, and none of them would rest until they did.

After making sure Carol and Nebula were settled, and thanking them both for what they had done to get Tony back to them, Steve walked back to the apartment, grabbed a beer and headed out through the patio doors into the large garden area to let Lucky have a mooch around. He felt much better than he had in ages, like someone had slotted a large piece of the puzzle back into place. Once Tony was stronger, maybe they had a chance of finding Thanos and reversing all of this. And then, well, maybe then they could have a shot at being a family. He took a pull from his bottle and looked out over the grounds. It wasn’t a bad place to bring up a kid, he supposed. Or maybe they should get their own place, just like they almost had 3 years ago. The more he thought about it, the more he started to think that was the better option. Did he really want a kid surrounded by all of this? More to the point, he found himself wondering if he wanted himself surrounded by this anymore. A year or so ago, he’d jumped at the chance to get back into the thick of it, but now he just felt tired. He’d fought for so long, given so much, maybe it was time to get out, take a back seat like Tony had.

Taking a deep breath he finished his beer, called Lucky back to him and headed back inside. He’d just thrown his empty bottle into the recycling and was contemplating heading back to see how Tony was when the door to the apartment opened and Katie stepped inside. She looked tired, but almost, dare he say it, happy…

“Hey.” He greeted her as she shut the door “How is he?” “Sleeping.” she crossed the hall towards him “He’ll be out until the morning I expect.” “And you?” he asked, opening his arms.

She smiled, stepping into his embrace “I’m ok. What about you?” “Me?” he asked.

“Yeah.” she looked up at him. “Everyone seems hell bent on making sure I’m ok, they seem to forget you.” He took a deep breath, “It’s not important.” “It is to me.” she looked up at him.

“I’ve got you.” he shrugged “And well, as long as I do I’ll be fine baby doll.” “You’ll always have me.” she said gently, and then neither of them knew how but they were kissing again, picking up where they had left off before in the bathroom, the kisses growing violent as they both poured every bit of emotion into one another, both clawing at the other with a desperate touch. Steve fell towards her, pushing her back into the wall which separated the hallway from the kitchen area and pressed himself tightly against her. She slid her hands up beneath his top, her nails digging into his back, stinging his skin enough to elicit a deep, guttural moan. At that noise Katie let out a high pitched moan of her own as his hands skimmed down to the back of her thighs as he gripped tightly, hoisting her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and couldn’t help but mutter rapidly into his ear, amid tight, short gasps. “I need you Stevie, I need you, please.”

He dropped his lips to her neck, trailing his teeth along the arch of her shoulder. "I need you too.” his voice was dark and deep which made her moan even more, and he didn’t wait for a response before hoisting her higher and carrying her into the bedroom where he dropped her down onto the bed. His hands gently reached down and they separated long enough for him to remove her top, Katie repaying the favour as she pulled his jumper and vest off in one move before she threw her arms around him as his lips dropped again to her neck. He slipped one of his hands into her shorts and she bucked at his touch as he gently played with the flesh letting out a groan as he found her ready for him, slick and hot.

“Fuck.” he mumbled before his hand moved to the button at the front of her shorts and hers fell to the buckle on his belt, their mouths still tangled together as he kissed her hard, needily before he tugged on her knees, pulling her flat down. Taking her shorts and underwear off in a swift glide down the bed, he shimmied out of his jeans and boxers, Katie taking the chance to hastily remove her bra before he fell onto her once more, using his knees to push hers apart. He propped himself on his elbows and dropped down to kiss her, slamming his teeth into hers in desperation as she was clawing at his back, arching up as she groaned into the kiss, his name falling from her lips as he pulled away slightly.

“You’ll tell me if I hurt you?” he looked at her. She knew he was worried, so she gently reached out, running her finger over his once again smooth jaw line.

“Promise.” she assured him. He swallowed thickly and as he worked into her she let out a soft moan as he started to move slowly at first, almost patiently as she hiked her legs up around him. He wanted to take it slow, he really did, but he found he couldn’t, and she didn’t want him to either. She was urging him on and soon they were fucking with avaricious force, both chasing a gratification they hadn’t felt in weeks, and the more he gave the more she wanted.

Her hips met his with every drive forward he made as she writhed and mewled underneath him and it wasn’t long before she felt herself beginning to go. Steve could read her body signs better than she could herself and as her breath began to go he pressed his mouth back to her neck, groaning himself

“You feel so good, so fucking good.” his mouth nipped at her ear as he spoke ��I love you so much, baby..” and that was it, with those words she was undone.

“Stevie.” His name tumbled from her lips, in little more than a squeak as she tightened round him again and again. Then, as the heat burst between her legs and the lights exploded in front of her eyes she let out a short gasp, her nails digging further into his back, smarting the skin as she succumbed. Steve kept thrusting through her orgasm, the coil in his own belly tightening more and more.

“Katie, fuck!” he closed his eyes, his head dropping to her shoulder and he spilled himself into her with a jerk and a moan before his elbows slowly slipped out from under him and he collapsed on top of her, their breathing coming in ragged gasps as they both lay delirious from the utter carnal nature of it all. Katie’s hands gently trailed up his back and into his hair to begin their usual caress, these moments after he loved as much as the act itself. Gently he moved his head to slide his nose against hers before he kissed her softly, tenderly this time as they held each other close.

Skin to skin, soul to soul, the pair of them as together as they could be, each lending the other a soothing reassurance that whilst they were still grieving, and would continue to grieve for however long they needed to, they hadn’t lost everything. They still had one another, and as long as they did, they would be ok in time.

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the-evisceration-station · 5 years ago

Note

If you're still taking prompts, would you write a Riverdale/Dare Me crossover? I caught the RD reference in your last Dare Me fic and had a good laugh before everything else went downhill.

Okay, so I thought about this for a minute because I got another question about doing this crossover awhile back (before I said I was taking prompts). I’m not actually going to write a fic of this, but I guess I’ll give you the play-by-play of how I think it’d go down. So I guess it’s like my headcanon crossover, or something, here we go.

The Sutton Grove football team and cheer squad go to Riverdale for a football game. Eagles vs. Bulldogs and whatnot.

Sutton Grove cheer squad performs jaw-dropping feats of athleticism with Beth as flyer. Beth does her bow and arrow at the top of the pyramid. Even though things have been strained between Addy and Beth lately b/c of Colette, Addy is still mesmerized by how flawless Beth’s performance is.

Then it’s the River Vixens’ turn and they do some weird, provocative dance number where Cheryl flips her skirt up and rubs her thighs while the other Vixens shake their pompoms around. Veronica and Cheryl sing Circus by Britney Spears through the whole performance. Everyone from Sutton Grove is like WTF and the squad especially is so perplexed and mortified. How is this cheerleading?? Why are they signing?? Why are they all acting like this is normal??

At this point, the Sutton Grove students have noticed Riverdale is kinda weird. They’re all ready to get back on the buses and get the heck home, save Addy. Addy’s just glad to be somewhere else for once, since her hometown’s felt so suffocating lately. She doesn’t care if it’s kinda weird here, she’d like to go have a milkshake somewhere that isn’t the Dairy Cream for a change, and it’s nice to see new faces.

The SGHS students have to stay the night though, because there’s suddenly a fuck ton of fog and the bus drivers don’t want to risk driving through such poor visibility. The Riverdale locals are confused as to how this is an issue. You guys have never seen fog before?? Are you telling me the sun shines where you're from?? Sounds fake, but okay.

Since they’re stuck, the girls are like screw it, might as well explore and meet some new people.

RiRi cozies up to Cheryl and Toni. She gravitates toward badass bitches and gay energy, so how could she not?

They’re cool with it. Cheryl likes stirring the pot and RiRi is a little troublemaker. They end up partying in La Bonne Nuit, doing jingle jangle and dancing the night away. RiRi can’t be sure if Cheryl really says the weirdest things she’s ever heard anyone say, ever, or if she’s just high enough to hallucinate.

Addy invites Colette to go to Pops with her, picturing sharing a milkshake with two straws. Archie notices how close they’re standing, and just sort of feels something is off. He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, but he’s been involved with dangerous, manipulative adults enough times to sense them, even if it’s not something he registers consciously.

Archie interrupts Addy and Colette like, “wow, that routine was really cool, you guys were amazing, blah, blah, blah…”

Colette’s all polite smiles. Addy is irritated. He ends up just blabbing on and on, until Colette excuses herself b/c Matt is blowing up her phone. Addy’s plans are foiled. Archie ends up inviting her to Pops and Addy’s deadpan, like, “I’m not going to fuck you.” And Archie’s all ???, “I just want to hang out.” He’s still getting those danger vibes for her and just wants to take care of her, like he does former twins with survivor’s guilt, homeless kids who stab him, and guys in juvie who drooped out in the forth grade to run drugs to take care of their nanas.

Addy gives in cause she while she’d rather go with Colette, she still just wants to go someplace new. Veronica overheard Archie gushing about SGHS cheer squad and invites herself to the party. She doesn’t realize Addy is the most homo homo to have ever homo’ed and fears Archie’s eye has strayed again. Also, since Archie seemed impressed by their routine, she wants to ask Addy questions about it and see if it’s something the Vixens could do.

Beth watches all of this unfold from afar, forlorn as fuck. Great. Addy’s abandoning her yet again.

She wanders around for awhile, eventually comes across Bughead investigating whatever mystery is plaguing Riverdale today.

Beth has her own inner Nancy Drew, the scene in Will’s apartment proves it. So despite the fact that these two look like total losers, some perky ponytail in an ugly sweater and greasy kid in a ratty beanie, she finds herself intrigued. Besides, what else is she supposed to do in this bumfuck nowhere town that’s as dinky as her own bumfuck nowhere town, only too foggy to see through and twice as weird??

So Beth invites herself to the Bughead investigation team. At first they’re both opposed. Jughead is skeptical when it comes to outer circle people in Riverdale, let alone people who aren’t even from Riverdale.

Betty softens up when she learns they have the same name. And the longer they talk to Beth, she realizes, hey, this girl is actually a very observant and perceptive go-getter. She could really help us out, here.

So Betty talks Jughead into letting Beth join in. The three of them play detective all night long, following clues and bouncing off each other. Beth’s acerbic attitude rubs Betty and Jughead the wrong way, but they deal with it cause she’s actually really good at this. They’re piecing the puzzle together faster with her than they would without her.

Beth still thinks they’re losers. They’re also so romantic and soft with each other that it makes her want to throw up…and also has her kind of jealous. Because even if she won’t admit it, she 100% wishes she could have a romance just as soft and sickeningly-sweet with Addy.

Addy is still hanging out with Archie and Veronica. They’re a few milkshakes in by now, and they’ve told her all about the whacko, demented happenings of the town since that fateful 4th of July. Addy can’t believe it, but hearing about all this bizarre, crazy shit makes her miss Sutton Grove. Sutton Grove sucks, but it’s not nearly as batshit as Riverdale sounds.

Little does she know that Sutton Grove’s own murder mystery awaits when she goes back home…

#dare me #riverdale #crossover #riverdale crack #bughead #dare me tv #baddy #asks #anonymous #dare me crack

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mysmashplaythroughs · 4 years ago

Text

Kirby’s Adventure Playthrough

Fighter: Kirby

Game: Kirby’s Adventure, Wii U virtual console (NES). First Released on March 23rd 1993.

Fighter Bio.

Kirby is a pink ball shaped creature that lives in Dream Land on Planet Popstar, although his true origins are unknown, as is the name of his species. Whilst Kirby seems to have a sense of morals, his motives seem to be fairly simple, often he seems to simply go on adventures to help friends or stop something that is causing problems for all of Dreamland and is immediately apparent to him. His first known adventure was him taking on King Dedede, the self-proclaimed King of Dream Land in order to reclaim the food he was hoarding from the rest of Dream Land’s citizens, with many adventures after often being sparked either by Kirby deciding to sort out an immediate problem, such as the citizens of Dreamland all having bad dreams due to the Fountain of Dreams being disturbed, or something piquing his interest such as a ship crashing down on Planet Popstar and Kirby deciding to help it’s pilot find the parts he’s lost to rebuild the ship. Due to this somewhat simple approach Kirby has often found himself tricked into inadvertently helping a villain achieve their goals by freeing them or granting them a chance to gain ultimate power. What’s important however is even with villains who are smart enough to get Kirby to do their dirty work for them, they often underestimate just how powerful and tenacious Kirby is, which always ends up bringing about their downfall, granted he is often helped by other characters to do so.

Kirby’s personality is somewhat mysterious, he has spoken very rarely, usually only to explain the controls for a game or in reaction to the plot. In most other cases however Kirby tends to let others speak for him and not really answer characters who speak to him. One example of this was where Susie in Planet Robobot would often talk of her plans to Kirby who seemed to not really take on board what was being said beyond that she was messing up the Planet and had to be defeated to sort things out. Kirby seems to act somewhat childlike, although there have been the occasional moments in the past where he seems to show a bit more of an understanding of what’s going on than his childlike personality would suggest. Kirby is very friendly to most people, even being willing to happily go on adventures with characters he’s fought before, although he is quick in some cases to assume certain characters such as King Dedede are responsible for a current problem and rushes to fight them before finding out what’s really going on. He will however happily work alongside such characters when he realises they aren’t causing problems.

Kirby is a powerful creature whose greatest strength is his ability to inhale enemies and take their powers, which gives him access to a wide variety of abilities. Kirby can only use abilities specific to the last enemy he’s eaten (provided they are one that grants an ability) however he can discard the ability in order to inhale a new enemy to swap to that one, which over the years has given Kirby access to many elements such as fire, water, rock, wind, leaves and many more. Kirby has also shown himself capable of very powerful moves too, such as a Hypernova ability when eating a Miracle Fruit, which allows him to inhale much more powerfully than he usually can, devouring multiple enemies and objects at once as well as Super Abilities which are much more powerful forms of copy powers he’s used before such as a giant sword which can cover the whole screen. Kirby’s other natural abilities are a slide kick and his ability to inhale air and fly, which he can exhale as an attack before falling. This air attack isn’t very strong but can be quite effective against small enemies. Kirby can also spit out enemies he inhales as a star, which in his first game, Kirby’s Dreamland was his only method of attack as he could not gain enemies powers then.

Kirby’s species is unknown and mysterious, there have been some appearances of others who seem to be of the same species as him, however there is not much detail regarding them. Keeby is a character who looks identical to Kirby only yellow instead of pink. There have been examples of a Yellow Kirby in other games, however there is no confirmation whether this is Keeby or not in the majority of these cases, with the only time he’s been explicitly referred to being as one of Kirby’s alts in Smash Bros. Some of these examples of other Kirbys of differing colours come from games where Kirby has been cloned such as during Kirby and the Amazing Mirror, therefore Keeby could be different from these yellow cloned versions of the pink Kirby. There are other coloured Kirbys who appear in mini-games, however these are not considered actual canon parts of the games. Meta Knight is another character who is speculated to be one of Kirby’s species, mostly as when unmasked he has a similar face to Kirby and his wings seem to be part of his cape, however he has not shown the ability to inhale enemies like Kirby, although it’s unknown if he’s capable and simply doesn’t use these abilities. Galacta Knight is another character who appears to hold similarities to Kirby, however his wings don’t appear to be part of a cape as Meta Knights are. Galacta Knight is said to be an ancient warrior who was sealed away so it is plausible he might deviate physically from Kirby’s species in their current form, although as with everything else regarding these characters it’s a big mystery. Finally, one of the oddest cases is of the Batamon, an enemy that often appears out of bounds where Kirby cannot interact with it, save for one example where it acts similarly to a Waddle Dee, hurting Kirby if it collides with him. If Kirby inhales it similar to a Waddle Dee it will not give him any ability, however this enemy is notable for looking very similar to Kirby, although its eyes are different to others of Kirby’s species being smaller and further apart.

Friends: Kirby has made many friends over the years, sometimes with characters he’s fought before. Many of the enemies Kirby can take copy abilites from he can also gain as friends or helpers who will help him in his adventure until they’re defeated. Due to the large amount of these I will only go into specific characters rather than the friendly species Kirby has travelled with such as Knuckle Joes or Vividrias. Kirby has made friends with characters he has fought a few times, however I think they can be listed as rivals more really, despite being on the friendlier side of the rival scale through the series. Kirby’s first known friends in the series are a group of animals he fought alongside in Kirby’s Dreamland 2, Coo the Owl, Kine the Ocean Sunfish, Rick the Hamster and Gooey who is a being of Dark Matter. Unlike the other Dark Matter beings in the Kirby series, Gooey is friendly to Kirby and helps him fight against them. Kirby’s animal friends help Kirby to travel around in different ways such as flying, swimming and riding whereas Gooey has sometimes helped as a second player character and other times simply given Kirby powerups to help him. Kirby at first fought Dyna Blade a giant mechanical bird, but later found out she was just trying to keep her chicks safe and made friends with them. Dyna Blade then in return helped Kirby in his battle with the Battleship Halberd, flying him back when he had been thrown off the ship. Kirby had more animal friends in Kirby’s Dreamland 3 which were ChuChu the Octopus, Nago the Cat and Pitch the Bird. Nago would roll Kirby around like a ball, Pitch would be held by Kirby due to his small size and used for various abilities, ChuChu finally sits on Kirby’s head and will grab enemies putting them into Kirby’s mouth for him to eat. Ribbon the Fairy is a character who Kirby finds and helps return to her homeworld, with them teaming up with other characters along the way to take on Dark Matter who’s invaded her home. Ribbon helps carry Kirby in the final battle against 02 so he can battle in space. Adeleine is one of the very few characters who seems to be human in the Kirby series. She is one of the characters who is possessed by Dark Matter and fights Kirby before joining him when she’s defeated and rid of the possession. There is some debate over whether Ado, a very similar character from Kirby’s Dreamland 3 is actually Adeleine or not, however Ado only fights Kirby as a boss and shows up in the ending so doesn’t have as big of a role as Adeleine does in Kirby 64. Both Adeleine and Ribbon work together in Kirby Star Allies to help Kirby out again. Finally, there is a specific Waddle Dee who Kirby makes friends with in Kirby 64, this Waddle Dee is identified due to its feet being the same colour as its face, unlike most other Waddle Dees that have yellow feet. This character seems to be separate from another prominent Waddle Dee in the series however. Kirby had a couple of run-ins with his counterpart from the Mirror-world in Amazing Mirror, however they realise that they’re actually on the same side and as Mirror-Kirby is the defender of the Mirror-world similarly to Kirby they work together to stop Dark Mind. Prince Fluff is a character Kirby met during the events of Kirby’s Epic Yarn, hailing from Patch Land. Due to Kirby looking different in Patch Land it’s unknown how Prince Fluff would look in Kirby’s Universe, however he seems to be similar in shape to Kirby and shares the same abilities with him. Finally, Bandana Waddle Dee seems to get along well when working with Kirby, however he often will go along with most of King Dedede’s plans even if they’re against Kirby.

Enemies/Rivals: King Dedede has fought Kirby many times, however often these cases have either been due to him being possessed by a powerful entity or one of them being too impulsive to really explain what the situation is to the other. Dedede can let his greed get the better of him though and genuinely goes against Kirby when seeking to steal all the food in the kingdom for example, however there have been many times Dedede has worked with Kirby to combat a threat and the King knows that when there’s a serious threat Kirby is the world’s best hope. Meta Knight is a mysterious figure, he has fought Kirby many times, however he often seems to covertly help Kirby, even in a lot of his more antagonistic appearances such as his very first where he would sometimes throw an item for Kirby to use before vanishing. Due to this it’s unknown what his motives really are, whether he’s only looking for a good fight and is helping Kirby so he can have a good confrontation later against him, or if he’s actually training Kirby to make sure he’s strong enough to take on the real villain of the story later. Meta Knight as with King Dedede has worked with Kirby before and has also been possessed and forced to fight Kirby a few times. Due to his loner status, Meta Knight isn’t necessarily a close friend of Kirby’s, but he has often been a good ally in his battles against strong foes.

Kirby has fought many powerful enemies throughout his game series, from beings like the Nightmare Wizard or Queen Sectonia to powerful entities such as Dark Matter, Zero and Dark Nebula. Kirby has also faced foes who have tricked him in order to gain power such as Marx and Magolor, with these foes actually helping him in later games either as an apology for their actions, or seemingly as a way to take out competition to their own goals. Finally there are foes that Kirby faces only for them later to realise Kirby’s their only hope when it turns out the character they’ve been helping doesn’t actually care about them or their plans go wrong, such as Taranza and Susie. Sometimes this results in them repenting or other times just disappearing after helping Kirby stop the crisis they’ve helped create.

Crossovers with other Smash characters: Kirby has had quite a few crossovers with other characters, including many Nintendo ones over the years. When it comes to characters who are also in Smash one of the earliest examples is in Kirby Super Star, where Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach and Wario (along with Toad and Birdo) appear in the crowd during Kirby’s fight against King Dedede and the Megaton Punch minigame. Next there were many cameos of Nintendo characters in Kirby’s Dream Land 3, some of which were from fairly obscure Nintendo games such as Yuyuki and Shin Onigashima, however R.O.B. and Samus Aran also appeared in stages in the game. Samus would give Kirby a Heart Star if he defeated Metroids that show up in a specific room in Iceberg – Stage 2 and R.O.B.’s parts have to be found in order for Professor Hector to reassemble him at the end of Sand Canyon – Stage 6. Kirby appears on a poster in Mario and Luigi Superstar Saga at the Yoshi Theatre, which seems to be advertising a movie based on the Kirby series. Another crossover of note is a somewhat unusual one, in Link’s Awakening an enemy appears which has been referred to as both ‘Kirby’ and ‘Anti Kirby’ before, it looks just like Kirby and inhales Link, spitting him out to damage him if it can. It is weak only to bombs, the magic rod or a boomerang. In the remake of Link’s Awakening this enemy looks slightly different having more of an orange tint than Kirby usually does and a different smile, however it still attacks the same and is clearly modelled on Kirby. The specific Link from this game does not appear in Smash Bros other than as an alt costume and a spirit however. Finally in Taiko no Tatsujin: Drum ‘n’ Fun Kirby appears as a playable character along with a Squid from Splatoon.

Why this game?

When it comes to why I chose this game there’s a few reasons that are more specific to me regarding the choice than its relevance to Smash, although that’s definitely a factor. The first key reason is that this is the game which really set the guidelines of how the Kirby series works. It introduced Kirby’s ability to use powers, solidified his standard moves and introduced a new member of the recurring cast in the series which was Meta Knight. This game was also the first where Kirby goes up against a villain who’s actually intimidating and pure evil rather than the final boss of the previous game, King Dedede who was more being a greedy jerk. Speaking of King Dedede, this game also introduces the concept of him still being involved in the story whilst not being the main antagonist, a role that he has most commonly filled ever since. There are two versions of this game, Nightmare in Dreamland, the GBA remake of this game which vastly updated the graphics and gameplay and Kirby’s Adventure, the original NES game. I chose the NES game to play through this time as I felt it was overdue, which I will go into with my history with the Kirby series. The other big key reason I chose this game, is because I find it a very impressive NES game, it helps it came out towards the end of the NES’s life meaning a lot of developers had started pushing the system to it’s limits by this point, although I’m not admittedly that knowledgeable regarding this situation overall, especially as I was around four years old when the game was actually released. With that said, I’ve always wanted to see how the NES original looked, especially as a lot of enemies I knew from later in the series would originate here, so seeing their original 8-bit incarnations was interesting.

My past with this game.

When it comes to the Kirby series, it’s one of the few where I had the very first game, then missed out on a lot of them till much later. Unlike Zelda however it took me a very long time to get another Kirby game. I started out with Kirby’s Dreamland on the Gameboy, which I really enjoyed, although despite how easy and short it was, back then I never beat it. It was not until 2007 with the release of Kirby Squeak Squad I actually played another Kirby game. Why this was the case I don’t know, I’d been playing Smash Bros ever since 64 and it had made me interested in all the series in it, and I knew of Kirby’s games as well as learning of the characters I didn’t know from it such as Meta Knight who appeared as a trophy in Melee and later playable in Brawl, however it was only at this point I decided to play Squeak Squad. Another factor in this decision was at the time I’d seen some of the Kirby anime, as it was easier than tracking down the games. I’ll admit, I didn’t see much of the Kirby anime, but it did get me curious to finally see what these characters were like. I enjoyed Squeak Squad quite a bit because of this, even though I’ll admit it’s one of the blander games, however I came to realise around this time I think that the anime was actually based on a specific game, Kirby’s Adventure.

I considered looking into the GBA remake at the time, but I also happened to be looking into other games at the time, specifically NES games. I remembered when I was much younger going to a sleepover at an old friend’s house and him having a Gameboy cartridge which had multiple games on it, so I searched for a GBA cartridge with multiple NES games on it. I’ve been looking for that cartridge to go into specifics, but can’t find it currently, still this cartridge had a lot of games I’d not played before on it and was what introduced me to many games I’d always meant to but hadn’t played at the time, games such as the original Metroid, Kid Icarus and Kirby’s Adventure. Kirby’s Adventure was probably the game I played most on there as it was fairly simple. The games were pretty compressed and crushed in order to fit on a GBA screen, so this was the game I figured I’d be able to beat most easily (which wasn’t really short like Donkey Kong or something). I played a fair way into it, but admittedly never finished this version. I think I got the official version on Virtual Console and played some of it, but my memory is somewhat hazy really and I believe it wasn’t till I got Nightmare in Dreamland cheap that I played through the whole game. Since then I played a lot of other Kirby games, all of the modern ones from Return to Dreamland onwards (well except spinoffs) and Super Star. Kirby Super Star is still probably the most definitive Kirby game I’d say, but I’d decided that game would be represented on my list by another character I’ll get to later better overall, so for Kirby, I decided to go with this game and finally beat it in its original form.

My Smash Playthrough.

Each world opens with a short scene of Kirby doing something in the location, similarly to Kirby’s Dreamland. I realise I’ve played this game often (at least the start of it) as the first scene of Kirby having a sword fight and losing his sword before inhaling his foe to gain their sword is somewhat burned into my memory at this point. Following this the game starts with a hub area where you gradually uncover more doors leading to each stage. The backstory of this game is that King Dedede invaded the Fountain of Dreams and took the Star Rod from it, breaking it into 7 pieces and giving 6 of them to his underlings, which in turn is causing bad dreams for all the residents of Dream Land, with Kirby setting out to take them back. The music in this game as with a lot of Kirby games is great with a lot of the songs that originated here showing up later in the series remixed. Kirby games are known for being easy which I don’t think is a criticism really as they’re still a lot of fun. Kirby can fly unlike a lot of characters from platforming games, which means you’re able really to go wherever you want in the stage, although you can still fall into pits if enemies knock you out of the sky, which throughout the game I’d say is more often what will get you rather than running out of health. Kirby’s powers are fairly simple in this game which is fair as it was the first introduction of the concept, still the majority of them are simply some sort of breath power (fire, ice), shooting something (laser, cutter) standing still and damaging anything that comes close (needle, sparky) or swiping with something (sword, beam, parasol). This isn’t to say that there aren’t a lot of unique powers still in the game, ones such as Hi-Jump which has Kirby take a high leap damaging anything he contacts whilst leaping or wheelie which has Kirby turn into a wheel and move quickly forwards crashing into enemies as he goes. It’s only in comparison to the rest of the series where a lot of these powers would get more specific additional abilities that the ones in this game can seem similar to each other to a certain degree, although the variety is still impressive compared to other NES games I’ve played. Kirby moves a lot more fluidly I’d say compared to characters in a lot of other NES games, although compared to the rest of the Kirby series his movements can be a bit stiff at times, still it’s not really a problem when playing the game, it just threw me off a little at first having played through Star Allies a lot recently.

When it comes to difficulty, I found I would die quite a few times in the final worlds and sometimes against the bosses, however it was never to the point where I got a game over nor were there any parts I remember finding particularly frustrating. Of the more difficult stages, the final world Rainbow Resort is probably my favourite, it’s backgrounds even on NES manage to look really nice with the starry skies and purple cosmic landscape. With this said, it really shines in the remake which has some really nice-looking backgrounds. The music in Rainbow Resort is some of my favourite in the Kirby series and really adds to the atmosphere. There’re some somewhat annoying stages here with easy to fall in gaps that lead to an instant death, but it never gets to the stage that made me start getting really frustrated. A lot of the stages in this world do a lot of interesting things with water which would show up later in the series, with waterfalls you can swim up and other physics defying sights. The final stage before the boss in Rainbow Resort is also a lot of fun, as it’s a condensed version of the whole of Kirby’s Dream Land even using the monochrome sprites for the enemies and in this version the HUD itself is also monochrome. I realise now I’ve spent a fair bit talking about this one world, but really it’s always been the highlight of the game for me when it comes to the stages, as a lot of the others aren’t that different to stages that appear in a lot of Kirby games, such as a grassland, islands, clouds, mountains and the ocean. Probably one of the most well-known worlds in this game, partially as it has a famous theme in the series named after it, is Butter Building which is a tower and features a lot of stages which are travelled vertically upwards. The other most notable world for me personally is Orange Ocean, which features a fair few water stages as well as some ice themed stages. The biggest factor however is it also features a key boss fight.

This game features quite a few notable bosses and introduces a very big character in the series overall. There are two bosses who return from Kirby’s Dreamland making this the first of their many recurring appearances in a boss role. The first of course is Whispy Woods who’s exactly the same as he was in Dream Land, dropping apples Kirby can inhale and spit back at him as well as blowing clouds of air. Secondly is Kracko the one-eyed cloud who fights similarly to Dream Land, but instead of Waddle Doos it summons Starmen which give Kirby the Hi-Jump ability, which can be effective on it due to its levitating position. However, I personally found it more effective to just spit stars at it. Kracko also starts off in its Kracko Jr form and chases Kirby who must escape before reaching the area where it transforms into its true form and the boss battle begins. Of the new bosses the first two I would say are more notable in the series than the other one. Paint Roller is a boss who goes from one canvas to another drawing something which will come to life and usually charge at Kirby. He’s fairly easy to beat and interestingly Adeleine later in the series would fight in a similar way, drawing things which somewhat come to life and attack. The next boss fight features a duo, Mr. Shine & Mr. Bright who are a Sun and Moon that take turns fighting you, with the other one supporting the one fighting you from the sky with various attacks. They also appear in a couple of other games in the series as bosses or cameos. Heavy Mole is probably the least famous of the new bosses, having only appeared in one other game. The battle against Heavy Mole can be beaten very quickly or turn dangerous very quickly somewhat based on luck. The missiles it fires as it digs can be eaten to give Kirby a variety of powers, but some of them can put him to sleep. Depending on if Kirby receives a powerful ability, he can beat Heavy Mole very quickly, but due to the autoscrolling nature of the stage as well as Heavy Mole being able to dig a pit depending on it’s direction, Kirby can be put to sleep and scrolled off the screen into a pit killing him instantly. Overall, Heavy Mole can either be a really frustrating boss or incredibly easy in my experience.

The other bosses in the game are notable as they are fairly big characters in the series, Meta Knight makes his first appearance in this game and despite having no dialogue still demonstrates his personality due to him only fighting Kirby when he picks up the sword power, as he refuses to fight him unarmed. The boss fight with him is one of the more challenging as he can only be attacked either when he drops his guard or from behind. King Dedede appears at the Fountain of Dreams and looks to be the final boss of the game. Even though he isn’t, unlike in Kirby’s Dreamland, the fight with him here is somewhat more difficult than that one. In this game Dedede shows he’s learnt to float like Kirby can for the first time, apparently having trained to do so following his previous defeat. This move can be slightly more dangerous than his others as he can be a bit difficult to avoid, although it’s nothing overly challenging. Following Dedede’s dedefeat it’s revealed he was actually trying to prevent the release of a great evil that’s appeared in the Fountain of Dreams and stole the Star Rod to prevent it from escaping. Kirby not listening to Dedede puts the Star Rod back into the Fountain of Dreams inadvertently releasing Nightmare. Dedede then inhales Kirby along with the Star Rod and spits them both out into space to chase down Nightmare.

The final battle with Nightmare is different from the rest of the game, starting off with Kirby chasing Nightmare who’s in a ball form. Kirby is wielding the Star Rod and able to fly freely with it whilst firing stars as a projectile, which makes this part of the fight play a bit like a space shooter. If Kirby doesn’t manage to do enough damage to the ball in time Nightmare will fly off and Kirby will crash into the moon, which happened to me a few times. Once Kirby lands he is back to his normal movement, but can only damage Nightmare by firing stars from the Star Rod at his tornado looking body. Overall, I find it a pretty fun fight, with its setting of a battle in space then on the moon being pretty climactic. Kirby ends up destroying Nightmare and flying back to Pop Star as text explains that Dedede was in fact trying to stop Nightmare, with Dedede flying alongside Kirby as he returns. Finally, Kirby returns the Star Rod to it’s resting place in the Fountain of Dreams, restoring it to its original state and ending the nightmares plaguing Dream Land.

Overall, I found the game an enjoyable experience. Having not grown up with it and playing later Kirby games first it was fairly simplistic, and due to it’s length unlike Kirby’s Dream Land it’s not a game I like to put on quickly to play through, however it’s still a fun game with some really nice moments and introduced a lot of concepts for the Kirby series that are still going strong today. It is also still a very impressive NES game in my opinion.

Specific aspects about the game relating to Kirby in Smash.

Now, this is somewhat where my decision to play this game over others runs into a little bit of an issue. Regarding Kirby in Smash specifically, a lot of the transformations here are a part of Kirby’s moveset in Smash. There’s the Cutter ability, Stone ability and Hammer Ability which are all part of Kirby’s moveset, as well as some of his moves which draw from abilities such as Fireball, Fighter and the Throw abilities. However, for the absolute closest version of Kirby in a game to his Smash Bros incarnation, the best games would be either Kirby and the Amazing Mirror or Kirby Planet Robobot due to a specific ability in those games, the Smash power (or later named Smash Bros). This ability surprisingly enough allows Kirby to use almost all his moves from Smash Bros which I guess makes it the closest you can ‘equip’ Kirby to how he is in Smash. Besides the copy powers, Kirby has his slide kick, inhale ability and his ability to float just as in Smash Bros in every game, including Kirby’s Adventure, as well as the warpstar which Kirby uses to enter in Smash Bros. Beyond that, the final note I guess I can make is this was the first game to specifically make Kirby pink, as the Gameboy couldn’t display colour when Kirby’s Dream Land was released.

Credits.

For information on this game including dates of releases I must give credit to Wikirby the Kirby Wiki.

The screenshots in this post are taken by me using Miiverse before it shut down.

#Kirby #Kirby's Adventure #Kirby's Nightmare in Dreamland #Super Smash Bros #NES #GBA #Wii U #Virtual Console #My Smash Playthrough #My Smash Playthroughs

1 note · View note

mirkwoodshewolf · 6 years ago

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The wedding; Queen x reader

*Author’s note*

And here we go people. The chapter that’s been long over due. And in light of my sister’s recent marriage I felt like I had to post it up sooner rather than let it continue to drag on. So be prepared for some serious FLUFFY FEELS HERE!!! Also I’ve listed some songs that you all MUST LISTEN TO!! I’ve linked them within the chapter so just click on the link and it’ll take you straight to the songs and put you in the mood :) Hope you all enjoy this chapter.

IMAGES DO NOT BELONG TO ME. ALL RIGHTS GO TO THE OWNERS I AM JUST USING THEM FOR VISUAL REFERENCES!!!

PS; This chapter has been brought to you be E-Harmony lol Just listen to this song and you’ll find out why. Please listen to this song before reading :) (or just wait till the very end like the explanation of all the pics and other reception stuff I’ll let you all choose but definately listen to this song)

Taglist:

@onebigfangirlworld

@mr-badguymercury

@naturalswifty89

@queens-rose-garden

@starswin

@dj-lowkey

@isabella-bby

@labessieisallama

@geek-and-proud

@5sos-wdw

________________________________________________

*July 12th, 1984*

“(Y/n). (Y/n) come on sweetheart wake up, we need to get you ready.” I groaned in my sleep and opened my eyes to see Veronica standing over me.

“Ready for what?”

“Oh come on now don’t play dumb. You know what today is. It’s your big day, come on we’ve got to get you dressed and ready.” It was then my mind suddenly clicked awake as I realized what today was.

My wedding day.

“Oh my god I’m getting married today.”

“Yes you are, now get up. The girls and I are already getting dressed and we need to make the bride stand out as the fairest of them all.” I got out of bed and Veronica escorted me to the master bedroom where I saw Chrissie, Dominique, Danneel, Gen, and my future mother in law Kelly all getting their makeup on.

“Ahh there she is!” Gen proclaimed.

“About time, come on sit down I just got done and now Veronica and I can get to work on your hair and makeup.” Dani said. I went over to the makeup stand and sat down on the chair and Gen worked on my hair and makeup.

The whole morning was a hustle and bustle of women running around getting their dresses on, making sure everything was good, and checking to make sure that I was all good and ready.

“Do we have the bouquet?”

“Where’s the flower girl basket?”

“Has anyone seen the curling iron?”

“Okay who was in charge of the wedding veil it’s not here!”

“Check downstairs!” All those types of questions were proclaimed between all the bridesmaids as well as the future mother in law.

I swear if this is what every wedding is like, I only hope I just have to do this once.

It was an hour and a half into the preparations and we soon heard a knock at the door and Roger’s voice soon called out.

“Fathers and brother of the bride entering! Hope everyone’s decent.”

“Do you have the groom with you? If so then get out you know they can’t see each other!” Veronica called from upstairs.

“Nope, it’s just us.” Deacy called up to his wife from the bottom of the stairs.

You see the arrangement for the night before the wedding, the women were staying at Jared and Gen’s house while the guys stayed at Jensen’s and Dani’s place. Then we’d all head over to Kelly’s place for the wedding. And since they all lived within like 20-30min. from each other, it wouldn’t be a long drive to get there.

Some of the girls went downstairs all dressed up in their bridesmaids dresses while Kelly was helping me with the final touches while we were still in the master bedroom.

“Okay, now one last thing and then you’re complete.” She then went over to her jewelry box and pulled out a beautiful pearl necklace. The pearls all gathered in the front but then at the part where it circled around to the back of the neck, the pearls were now a gold chain, I also took notice that at the very center of the necklace there stood a single diamond shining so brightly if held in the light just right. “I wore this on my wedding day, I find it only fitting that my future daughter-in-law should wear it at hers.”

“Oh Kelly it’s beautiful, are—you sure?” She smiled at me and said as she hooked the necklace around me.

“I’m sure. You’re already family to us, and I always said that if I were to have a daughter I’d want her to wear this necklace. Now I can finally see that dream become a reality.” Once it was hooked on, she stood behind me leaning against my shoulder and she said, “Aww, aren’t you a vision? My son is lucky to have found someone like you.”

“Thank you Mrs. Kline I—I can’t thank you enough for all that you’ve done.”

“Well in light of what’s to come, you could start by calling me…..mom.” My eyes widened and I couldn’t help the smile that came across my face.

“Okay—mum.” She smiled and we both hugged each other.

“Now let’s get you downstairs and show your family how beautiful you are. Just wait till I give the announcement okay?” I nodded then she led me towards the stairs and told me to wait.

*3rd Person POV*

Roger, Deacy, Brian were all sitting on Gen’s couch. Gen and Dani were both on the love seat while Chrissie, Veronica and Dominique were sitting on the various chairs around the giant family living room. It was then Kelly came down the stairs and she said.

“Here comes the bride.” With that everyone stood up and slowly walking down the winder style staircase was (y/n) all ready looking like a bride. The girls who finally got to see all their hard work were stunned at how beautiful they had made this young 22 year old look.

But of course the people who were amazed the most were the three members of Queen. Deacy’s eyes filled with pure awe and he couldn’t help the wide, soft smile that came across his face. Brian bless him almost had tears in his eyes, to him it was like he was now looking at a bright star in the cosmos explode into a super nova dazzling the sky for all eternity.

And Roger—dear old Roger Taylor has always been the hard one to stump because he was always so confident, but now staring at this young girl whom he’s adopted as his own daughter from day one of meeting her just 4 years ago, he couldn’t believe that right here, right now she was already in a wedding dressed about to be given away to another man.

*My POV*

Coming down, everyone was in pure awe at me and I heard Chrissie say.

“Oh my god (y/n)…..look at you.”

“Is it vain of me to say I never wanna take this off?” The women all laughed softly and Veronica said.

“Jack is going to love you in this dress.”

“I wouldn’t have gotten this dress without you V. Thank you for helping me pick it out.” She smiled and lightly kissed my forehead and she wrapped an arm around my shoulder as she said to the guys, “Well boys, what do you think of your Rock Angel now?” They spoke not a word but their eyes were filled with tears and pure happiness.

“I usually never know what to say but now—there are just too many things to say and such little time to even say them.” Deacy stated as he stare at me lovingly. He came up to me and took my hands in his and he said, “To sum it up, you look absolutely perfect.” I softly laughed and said.

“Thanks Deacy, you look quite dapper yourself.” He brought my hands up to his lips and he kissed both my knuckles before gently guiding me over to Brian and Roger.

“We’ll meet you guys at Kelly’s. Don’t keep the bride to yourselves you overprotective dads. Don’t want Jack to be the one waiting at the altar.” Said Dominque eyeing each of they guys, especially Roger. Soon all the women left the house.

“Key’s under the mat, be sure you lock up before you all head over there.” Informed Gen as she was the last one to leave I nodded and told her we understood and soon she shut the door leaving me along with the guys.

“(Y/n)—I have seen everything regarding the cosmos and the wonders of space, but not even that compares to what lies in front of me right now. You truly are the fairest of them all. And no star can outshine you right now.”

“Brian stop you’re gonna make me cry.” I whined out which made the guys laugh as Brian cupped the side of my face and wiped away a tear that was about to fall. He leaned down and softly kissed the crown of my head and that’s when I finally turned towards Roger.

His lips were slightly parted and his eyes wide like he had seen a ghost or something as his eyes were locked onto me.

“You’re gonna catch flies if you keep your mouth hanging open like that Rog.” I teased. He shook his head as he softly chuckled. He then came up towards me, taking my hands in his softly swaying them back and forth before suddenly picking me up and spinning me around.

I let out a squeak before giggling madly as I buried my face into his golden mane. He set me back down and he immediately embraced me and he said.

“Had I known just how beautiful you’d look in a wedding dress, I would’ve locked you away in a tower and kept you to myself.”

“That wouldn’t have worked, I’d just scale down the tower and make it to my wedding.” I said which made him groan and me laugh softly. I separated enough from him just to look up at him and I asked him, “But seriously though do I look ridiculous and Brian and Deacy are just being nice to me just because I’m the bride?”

“Darling you—are an absolute vision. My little lioness cub is all grown up.”

“And you’re happy right?” He looked at me as if I had grown two heads but answered with a smile.

“Love I’m…..very happy.” He brought me back into his arms and held me. “And you should be too.”

“I am it’s just…..” I trailed off.

“Just what love?” asked Brian with a tilt of his head. Roger released me from his embrace but kept an arm wrapped around me as I spoke the truth.

“I know I shouldn’t be thinking of this, especially today but…..I still wished that there would be four people walking me down the aisle on my wedding day.” The boys instantly knew what I was talking about.

Even after what he had said, I could still hear Freddie speak about all the wedding plans he had in mind over a year ago when Jack and I were still just friends. He said that he knew what dress I should wear, how he’d do my hair, makeup, everything.

Claiming that he’d be the best Maid of Honor and know exactly what I would want for my big day.

“We know love. But he made up his mind, and he lost his chance when he said those things to you. Anyone who would say something like that to the future bride has no right to walk you down the aisle. But we’re here for you. Because we love you, and that will never, ever change. We’re a family, right till the end.” Roger said as he brought me close in a one armed hug and turned up my chin to look at him.

He smiled softly and leaned his forehead against mine as he lightly pecked my nose making me smile.

“Now there’s the smile of the bride we needed to see. And that smile better stay there till the end of the day.” Deacy said. I rolled my eyes playfully at him and that’s when the three of them put me at the center of a group hug.

“Thank you Brian, Deacy, Roger. You guys have—done more for me than I could possibly ever imagine. I’m proud to call you three my family, and to give me away to Jack.”

“We’re just happy that you came into our lives. We don’t know what we would’ve done had Jim hired someone else for that internship.” Said Brian as he lightly stroked down my hair as well as the two tier wedding veil that was pinned into my hair. After awhile of staying in the guys’ group hug, we all separated and Deacy asked me.

“You ready poppet?” I exhaled deeply and I said with a smile.

“Ready.” Deacy nodded then he headed for the door and opened it up while Brian took the first section of my veil and turned it over so that my face was now covered. Brian stood to my right while Roger was at my left and the two of them each held out their arm crooked out for me to take.

I quickly grabbed the bouquet and wrapped my arms around each of theirs and they escorted me out of the house and the second my dress was in the clear, Deacy shut the door and locked up Gen’s house with the key that she said she had.

When we arrived at the car, Roger opened the door for me and I got inside with their help of getting my dress inside and soon Roger came and sat beside me while Brian sat in the front passenger side and Deacy drove us to the Kline family ranch where the wedding and the reception would take place.

Within 25 minutes we arrived and you could already see cars and limos parked alongside the front of the house. We pulled right on in since the dive way had to be reserved for when the bride would arrive.

Deacy parked in the side garage of the Kline house and there stood Kelly and her husband and my future step father in law or I guess I should call him father in law since he’s been there for Jack since the beginning, Misha.

Deacy shut the car off and we all exited the car. Since this was America and cars were built differently, Brian opened my door and helped me out of the car while Deacy and Roger got out on their own.

Roger came around and helped Brian with me and once Misha saw me he said.

“Wow (y/n), you look beautiful.”

“Thank you Misha.”

“Everyone’s waiting for the bride. Just come through the kitchen and out into the backyard just like we rehearsed last night.” Kelly said. I nodded and soon my in laws left the garage leaving the boys and I alone once more.

I was helped up the stairs by Brian and we soon entered the kitchen. I exhaled once more and I said.

“Please tell me this isn’t a dream.”

“No love, it’s real.” Assured Deacy.

“Good, because I don’t wanna wake up from this.” I said happily. The boys smiled at me and they each got to their positions.

Roger would stand to my left, Brian to my right and Deacy just behind Roger with a hand on my shoulder.

*3rd Person POV*

All the guests sat on white chairs with the groom’s family on the right and the bride’s family and friends on the left, and a stake of four different colored roses being yellow, red, pink and white sat in a small basket hanging from the hooks of the stakes.

The bridesmaids and groomsmen were already standing at the side of the beautifully handmade archway with beautiful ferns hanging from the corners and sides of the archway.

There with the priest stood Jack in a light grey suit waiting to see his future bride walk down the aisle. Soon music began to start up.

Coming down the aisle first was John and Veronica’s daughter Laura who was the flower girl. She was all dolled up in her salmon pink dress and everyone awed at how adorable she was as she tossed down the flowers as she walked down the aisle. When she was done, she raced towards her mother who was standing as the Matron of honor.

The music then changed to a different tune. Instead of the traditional ‘here comes the bride’ theme, (y/n) and Jack agreed to have the song that both made them realize they were in love with each other, and that was a ballad version of ‘Somebody to love’.

Everyone stood up and turned towards the house and soon coming out from the opened kitchen doors was (y/n) being escorted by her brother and two fathers. When Jack saw (y/n) walking down the aisle, never had he thought he’d seen something so beautiful and he knew that she would always be the one he’d spend the rest of his life with.

(Y/n) stared at Jack with tears forming in her eyes but a wide smile was spread across her face through her veil. Once they reached the alter they stopped and Roger being the one who was more like a father to (y/n), took the front part of the veil and lifted it over (y/n)’s head and smoothed it out so that it now looked like a single long veil that reached passed her midback.

Roger cupped (y/n)’s face and kissed her forehead, letting his lips linger there for a moment like any other father would probably do at seeing his little girl getting married. He then stared at her lovingly with tears in his eyes as she now turned to Deacy.

As the brother of the bride, he hugged her before giving her a loving kiss on the cheek. He whispered to her.

“Congratulations sister dear.” Which made (y/n) smile. Finally she turned to Brian who cupped both sides of her face and stared deeply into her eyes. His blue eyes filled with tears of happiness as he leaned forward and kissed the one spot he always favored; her nose. He pressed his forehead against hers as he stroked her cheeks with his thumbs before finally separating from her.

All three boys then turned to Jack and one by one starting with Deacy, they shook hands with the groom in one final acceptance as well as congratulations. Brian was next and he nodded to Jack and muttered to him.

“You’re a good man Jack, you best take care of her.”

“I will.” Jack whispered. Finally Roger stepped forward and the two shook a firm grip and spoke not a word, but in Roger’s eyes there was nothing but acceptance and pride.

The three members of Queen turned back towards (y/n) and they each held a hand out to her. (Y/n) raised out her right hand and they each took a hold of it; Roger taking the tips of her fingers, Brian around her palm and Deacy at her wrist and together the three of them placed her hand into Jack’s.

Once Jack had a grip of her hand, they were forced to let go and allow a new man to take care of her. But they knew she’d be in good hands.

It was then Brian, Roger and Deacy walked over to the groom’s side so that way they could walk with their wives back once the ceremony was over. Deacy stood as Best Man while Brian and Roger stood behind him.

Brian patted Roger’s back knowing how his friend was taking this. Roger did the same for Brian while Deacy stayed calm and collected but on the inside he was just bursting with emotion as he watched his sister now position herself in front of Jack.

*My POV*

I can’t believe it. I’m standing right here in a wedding dress in front of the man I love about to get married and become Mrs. (Y/n) Kline. Jack stared at me with eyes full of love and awe as the initiator finally spoke.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join together Jack Kline and (Y/n) (l/n) in holy matrimony. Love transcends even the greatest of distance. And even from different countries, these two in the eyes of God were meant to find each other. As Mr. Kline and Ms. (l/n) have chosen to recite their own vows, we shall begin with the wife’s vows.” I turned towards Veronica who handed me a piece of paper all the while keeping a hand on Laura. I took the paper and turned towards Jack as I unfolded the paper to show the vows that I have poured my heart and soul into. I looked down at it and spoke.

“Jack Kline; for so long all I ever wanted was to one day find the love that my mother had found in my father. After their death, I thought that dream was gone forever. That my life would one day perish just like they did in the blink of an eye. But I guess my parents must still be watching over me, because a year ago at a club, they sent you to save me from the annoyance that is the press. And now here we are, with our future before us. And I know that I only wish to spend the rest of my life with you. You are my prince, my soulmate……my best friend.” I tried so hard to keep my tears at bay but I guess one must’ve slipped out because I soon felt Jack’s hand cup my face and wipe away my right cheek. I handed my vows to the priest and he turned to Jack.

“Jack Kline, your vows next.” Deacy then handed Jack a piece of paper but Jack didn’t unfold it. He merely gave it to the priest and Jack said.

“(Y/n) when I went to London, I thought I was just going because I needed an escape. But from the moment I saw you; I knew you were more than just the fame and fortune that came to your name. I found out that the Rock Angel was the sweetest, down to earth, caring yet strong and independent person. Every day with you over that last summer was an adventure, and now I am ready to take whatever new adventures the two of us embark together. And it doesn’t matter what happens because I am always going to love and be there for you no matter what. We may have our fights but I know we’ll pull through because that’s what we do. Because you are the melody to my harmony, my princess, my Rock Angel.”

I sniffled softly at hearing his vows and knowing that he didn’t even have to open his vows to read them, he just knew it like the words to a song.

“Now that the vows have been exchanged may we please have the rings?” We each turned towards our Matron of honor and Best Man and they handed us our rings then Jack and I turned back towards each other taking each other’s hands. “Do you, Jack Kline take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife. For richer, for poorer, to hold and to keep from now till forever. In sickness and in health till death do you part?”

“I do.” Jack answered as he placed my wedding ring on my finger.

“And do you (Y/n) (l/n) take this man as your lawfully wedded husband. For richer, for poorer, to hold and to keep from now till forever. In sickness and in health till death do you part?”

“I do.” I answered lovingly as I placed the wedding band on Jack’s finger. The two of us held hands with each other staring lovingly into each other’s eyes smiling happily.

“Then by the power vested in me by the state of Kansas, it gives me great honor to pronounce you both; Husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.” Jack immediately cupped my face and we shared our first kiss as husband and wife.

The entire crowd cheered and applauded as Jack and I kept the kiss going. After what felt like eternity we separated and Jack picked me up and spun me around making me laugh joyously.

It was official. I was now (Y/n) Kline, wife of Jack Kline.

The reception then moved into the barn. It was all decorated with strings of warm lights and elegant tables all around with seating charts for the guests. Jack and I stood outside the barn kissing each other softly before we would enter inside.

“I can’t believe we’re finally married.” I stated in awe as Jack’s hands cupped my face and his thumb delicately stroked my cheek.

“Well best believe it baby, you’re stuck with me for the rest of your life.”

“I’ll gladly take you over anyone else.” We kissed each other again. He tried to make the kiss more passionate but I stopped him and teased him, “Save that for the honeymoon sweetie, we’ve got a reception to go to.”

“Can’t we just bail out?” he whined.

“No, no we need pictures of the reception and I need my father-daughter dance with the boys. I didn’t bust my ass trying to convince Brian to dance with me for months on end to let it all go to waste just because you couldn’t keep it in your pants till we got to Capri.”

“Okay, okay fine. It’s just—you look so beautiful that I want to have all of this to myself for the rest of the day.”

“I know, you look quite dapper and really sexy in this gray suit. But come on, just a few more hours and then it’ll be just you and I for 8 whole weeks.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal, Mrs. Kline.”

“Mm I like the sound of that, Mr. Kline.” I said as I leaned forward and captured his lips with mine. After softly making out with each other for a few more minutes, we entered the barn and the minute everyone saw us, they applauded. We waved to them and arrived at our table and that’s when the Best Man and the Matron of Honor would give their speeches to the bride and groom.

As everyone sat down, Veronica first started up since John’s never really been one for starting up a speech. She lightly tapped her champagne glass and she was given a microphone by Jensen whom she thanked and she said.

“Test, test ohh okay can I have everyone’s attention for a moment, please? Thank you.” The place quietened down as Veronica gave her speech. “Now I may not have known her very long, but it’s felt like a lifetime ago that I first met (y/n) back way before she became known as the Rock Angel. But I knew from the moment I first met her, I knew she would be going places. And within just barely a year of knowing her, she’s become a rock legend for young women everywhere. She has a heart of gold and a powerful soul. You’ve become like the sister I’ve always wanted.” I smiled up at her and I reached out my hand and she took it as she continued, “Now you’re about to embark on an amazing adventure with the man who chose you out of every girl in the world, and I am so happy that he did. You both remind me so much of John and myself and I hope that you both last forever. To (Y/n) and Jack.”

“To (Y/n) and Jack!” the crowd toasted as they raised their glasses for the Matron of honor’s toast. It was then Deacy stood up and he said.

“Well I’m not as good with public speaking, nor can I ever top my lovely wife whenever she speaks in general.” That got a few soft laughs as Veronica playfully shook her head at her husband. Deacy softly laughed and said, “When I first met (y/n), I knew in a second that she would be worth something special. Not only can she match my sassy attitude, but she’s helped me come out of my shell even more than I thought I could. And it was that moment I knew we had that connection with each other, and I said to myself ‘no man is ever gonna be good enough for my little sister’. But then…..a year ago this young man Jack Kline came along in her life, and I’ll admit I like those two over there,” gesturing towards Brian and Roger, “Wanted to take this boy and interrogate him for a week in order to make sure he was good enough for our girl. But as I got to know him, he’s a genuine, talented and a great guy that I am honored to call not only my apprentice, but as a friend.”

Deacy and Jack looked to each other and he continued,

“And when I began to notice the way he started looking at her, much like my lovely wife mentioned; it was like seeing myself and Veronica all over again. I knew they’d eventually had to end up together, and I can’t think of any two people more meant for each other than the two people sitting next to me.” I looked up at my brother as Jack and I held hands with each other. “To the bride and groom. May you both remain together forever.”

“To the bride and groom!” everyone raised their glasses once more and we all downed our champagne glasses.

After the toasts, I got up from my seat and took Jack’s hand. I then escorted him onto the platform stage at the far end of the barn. Brian, Deacy, and Roger came up on the stage and Brian helped me up onto the stage and I tapped the microphone at the piano and tapped on it and said.

“Okay hope this works, is it too loud? Or have I made you all deaf?” They all gave me the all good clearance and I said. “Good, good. Umm. First of all I want to thank you all for coming on this beautiful day to our wedding.” I then turned my attention to Jack who stood beside me at the piano, “Jack, my prince charming. No other words can describe for what the future will hold for us. But what I do know, is that I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you. To share a million hopes with you, a million adventures with you, a million dreams with you.”

I then turned to Brian who was sitting on a stool with his 12 strong acoustic, Roger who was at the drums and Deacy who had borrowed one of the cellos from the orchestra players of Jack’s church orchestra.

First Deacy began to slowly play the cello and then Brian began strumming the guitar of the song the guys helped me make back in London and I played the first three notes of the piano and I stared up at Jack as I began to sing my song dedicated to him for our wedding.

I called it; “A Million Dreams”.

*Me*

I close my eyes and I can see

A world that's waiting up for me

That I call my own

Through the dark, through the door

Through where no one's been before

But it feels like home

As the song began to pick up, Roger came in with a steady and gentle beat of the drums. And then by the time of the chorus, my voice went up in volume as the three instruments began to pick up the speed with the chorus.

My eyes not leaving Jack’s once as I sang into the microphone and I took his hand with mine stroking the back of his palm.

They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy

They can say, they can say I've lost my mind

I don't care, I don't care, if they call me crazy

We can live in a world that we design

'Cause every night, I lie in bed

The brightest colors fill my head

A million dreams are keeping me awake

I think of what the world could be

A vision of the one I see

A million dreams is all its gonna take

Oh, a million dreams

For the world we're gonna make

Now the piano bit really started to come in for this verse so I took over for majority of the second verse with the piano, while the guys came in on their cues.

*Me*

There's a house we can build

Every room inside is filled

With things from far away

Special things I compile

Each one there to make you smile

On a rainy day

They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy

They can say, they can say we've lost our minds

See, I don't care, I don't care if they call us crazy

Run away to a world that we design

Roger came in on the 2nd chorus and just like we had rehearsed, he went up in his high, raw range while I kept to my well-known low mezzo alto rang. Our voices blending together in perfect harmony. And like I had finally clicked and debated when I first started writing the song, on the word “take” I stayed down while Roger went up on the word.

*Roger and I*

'Cause every night, I lie in bed

The brightest colors fill my head

A million dreams are keeping me awake

I think of what the world could be

A vision of the one I see

A million dreams is all its gonna take

*Me*

Oh, a million dreams

For the world we're gonna make

It was then I stood up from the piano and wrapped my arms around Jack while Brian now sat at the piano and took over for me.

Allowing Jack and I to have our bride and groom dance.

Jack smiled and stepped off the stage in tune with the music and by the “share your dreams with me” line of the song, Jack gently picked me up by the waist taking me off the stage and down to the dance floor.

The two of us waltzed around the entire open space as I kept singing my song, not once stopping for a second and keeping in time with both my song and our dance. Jack twirled me around so that my back was touching his chest his arms wrapped around me as I kept hold of his hands and the two of us side-stepped forward.

There gentle lifts in the air, a two step waltz before we came together and I spun out of his arms and continued to softly spin, my wedding dress luckily with its ballroom like shape lifted up when it needed to on the spins allowing me to not trip over my dress.

*Me*

However big, however small

Let me be part of it all

Share your dreams with me

We may be right, we may be wrong

But I wanna bring you along to the world I see

To the world we close our eyes to see

We close our eyes to see

Jack caught me in his arms allowing me to stop spinning. I leaned up against him my back to his chest as his arms wrapped around my waist and my head rested near his shoulder as we stared into each other’s eyes.

Just before the start of the final chorus, I twirled out of Jack’s arms but my left hand remained in his right and like a ballet dancer I posed with my right arm extended upwards.

Our danced picked up once more with dancing around each other, keeping our hands locked together as we waltzed some more. He brought me into his arms before allowing me to spin outwards but I stopped just as our fingertips were about to separate from each other while my right arm was extended outwards in front of me.

Every night, I lie in bed

The brightest colors fill my head

A million dreams are keeping me awake

I think of what the world could be

A vision of the one I see

A million dreams is all its gonna take

For the final part of the dance, Jack spun me back towards him and our hands joined together as we held onto each other as the two of us began spinning around and around in a circle. We never once broke apart as we spun faster and faster and even when Jack moved his hands to my waist and I held my hands up in the air as I belted out that last note proudly.

By the end of the song, Jack brought me close to him, my arms wrapped around his shoulders, our foreheads touching together and our noses grazing each other’s as I smiled and sung out the last line.

A million dreams

For the world we're gonna make

As the last notes of the guitar was played, Jack and I leaned close and gently kissed each other with pure love, while the whole barn erupted with cheers and applause. Whistles were blown out specifically from Jensen and Jared, and as I turned toward the stage Roger, Deacy and Brian clapped and smiled down at Jack and me. I smiled back at them and Jack and I gestured towards the boys and they took a bow for their performance.

Soon everyone got the chance to dance with their partners and after a couple more dances with Jack as the bride and groom, now came time for the “Father-daughter” dance for the bride and her father, or in my case fathers and brother.

First up was Brian. He came up to me and like the gentleman he was, held out his hand for me and asked.

“May I cut in?” Jack nodded in acceptance and stepped aside allowing Brian and I to stand face to face with each other. I took his hand and we got into position while everyone cleared the dance floor and soon playing through the speakers was Kenny Roger’s “Through the years”.

Brian and I chose this song because like the lyrics say, both of us had taught each other something in life. He had taught me how to be more self-confident and to not listen to the dark voices in my head, he taught me how to be a better guitar player and song-writer, and together we both taught each other that it’s okay to not be okay.

Sometimes Brian had his dark days and I was there to help him through it when he was going through a rough patch with gentle snuggles and warm hugs.

The 2nd chorus is what really drew the song for us. With all that’s happened these past several months since March, we needed each other now more than ever and there would be some good and bad times head but so long as we’re together we were gonna be okay.

By the end of the song, everyone applauded and Brian cupped my face and kissed my nose gingerly as he stroked my cheekbones with his thumbs ever so gently.

He then took my hand and held it out and soon taking it was Deacy. Brian soon stepped aside and now Deacy and I got into position one. My arm wrapped around his back and soon our song “Here comes the sun” by The Beatles came up on the speakers.

Since this was a brother-sister dance we both agreed to not let the song be too mushy cause I would get enough of that from Roger and Brian and I didn’t want to cry so much at my wedding.

So one day while I was at his house visiting the kids, I was playing with Laura when I heard John in the kitchen who was preparing lunch for his munchkin army, whistling the song. I bopped my head along and then right at the time the song would begin I softly muttered the song while still playing dolls with Laura.

Deacy turned towards me and I looked toward him the two of us staring at each other in silence before he resumed whistling and I sung the next verse of the song.

After lunch while the kids played out in the backyard, the two of us played his Abbey Road record right to the song and as we listened to it, we turned to each other grinning at each other and as two born and bred Leicestershire Brits we knew this was our song choice for the wedding and we practiced our dance but agreed to not tell anyone our song until the wedding.

And here we are now. My head leaning against his shoulder as I softly hummed along to the song.

Then out of nowhere I actually got to hear for the first time Deacy actual sing in my ear. It was around the start of the 3rd verse, now it wasn’t as raw as Roger’s, strong as Freddie’s or melodic as Brian’s but it had that low, steady range.

Of course there were some small cracks in his voice as he softly sang, but it just made it more special because never did I think would I ever hear Deacy sing.

But it was here on my wedding day that I got to hear his voice, his real voice without the overpowers of the other members of Queen.

Once the song reached the end, everyone clapped and Deacy bowed to me like a gentleman and kissed the back of my palm before hugging me to which I immediately hugged him back.

“I’m never gonna let you live this down singing to me Deacy, you know that right?” I whispered to him.

“Just don’t push it sweetheart.” He whispered back before pecking my cheek and went off to find Veronica.

As the reception progressed on, I started to wonder where the hell Roger was. He was supposed to come right up after Deacy for our father-daughter dance but I couldn’t find him anywhere. I asked Dominique if she had seen him but she told me he slipped out during my dance with Brian.

I began to worry that he had ditched the dance or something, either that or he’s probably already shitfaced by now. God I knew I should’ve told the bartender to give him a limit.

“You okay baby?” I turned to see Jack coming up to me.

“Honestly Jack, not so good. Please tell me you know where Roger is.”

“Sorry hadn’t seen him since he performed our first wedding song.”

“Oh god,” I groaned as I sat down at one of the tables. “Today of all the times during my wedding he chooses now to ditch and probably get shitfaced and shag another woman probably.”

“Now hold on I wouldn’t go saying that. Maybe him and Jensen are out in the back having a long smoke break, you know those two are practically twins with the way they are.”

“Yeah. But I just wish that—”

“Umm excuse me can I please have everyone’s attention?” Roger’s voice soon came out from the speakers. I turned around and low and behold there stood Roger on stage with Brian, Deacy and Jensen.

Everyone began to quiet down as their attention turned to Roger. As Brian and Deacy grabbed their guitar and bass respectively and Jensen went behind the drum set, Roger spoke once again.

“Thank you. I promise you all can go back to drinking or snogging later I just need to make this one quick announcement. It may only have been just 4 short years ago but (y/n); You’ve come such a long way from the day I first saw you at that piano, and you have grown into such a beautiful young woman, and an inspiration to everyone around you. And I couldn’t be more proud of everything you’ve accomplished in life at such a young age. On this day; you’ve reached the highest milestone one can achieve. The man you’ve got sitting right beside you, he’s a good man. And I cannot imagine someone being worthy of you than Jack Kline.” At that point the guests all clapped and I smiled softly as Jack wrapped an arm around me and kissed my temple.

He put the microphone back in the holder and adjusted the stand to his height and he turned over to Deacy and nodded once. Deacy nodded back and first sound checked his bass before finally doing a familiar three note bassline.

Ba-da-dum. Ba-da-dum. Ba-da-dum.

Brian then came in on the guitar making his red special make that twang sound and I knew right away what song was about to be sung. Jensen soon began to play the drums as Roger then began singing “My Girl” by the Temptations.

*Roger*

I've got sunshine on a cloudy day

When it's cold outside

I've got the month of May

I guess you'd say

What can make me feel this way?

*Roger (Brian, Deacy, Jensen)*

My girl (my girl, my girl)

Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl)

He hopped off the stage and walked towards Jack and I and held out his hand as he kept singing. With a teary smile I just stared at him and took his hand as he helped me up and gave me a gentle twirl before bringing me close as the two of us began our Father-Daughter dance.

By the chorus I was now standing practically chest to chest with him as he stared into my eyes singing my dad’s song to me. I couldn’t help but wrap my arms around his neck and just stare back at him with tears filling my eyes.

*Roger*

I've got so much honey

The bees envy me

I've got a sweeter song

Than the birds in the trees

Well I guess you'd say

What can make me feel this way?

*Roger (Brian, Deacy, Jensen)*

My girl (my girl, my girl)

Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl)

*Roger*

Ooh

At the short instrumental break while Bri, Deacy and Jens did their little vocalization, Roger whispered to me.

“I love you so much my lion cub.” I choked out a laugh as tears were streaming down my face and I buried my face into his shoulder as he kissed my cheek before resuming the song.

As he came to the end of the song, he’d lift my chin up and wipe away my tears and was singing as his forehead was leaning against mine.

*Brian, Deacy, Jensen*

Hey, hey, hey

*Roger (Brian, Deacy, Jensen)*

Oooo yeah.

I don't need no money,

Fortune, or fame (ooh)

I've got all the riches baby

One man can claim

Well I guess you'd say

What can make me feel this way?

My girl (my girl, my girl)

Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl)

I've got sunshine on a cloudy day

With my girl (My girl)

(Talkin' 'bout my girl my girl)

I've even got the month of May

With my girl (My girl, woah)

Talkin' 'bout, talkin' 'bout

Talkin’ ‘bout my girl (my girl, woah)

As everyone applauded, I couldn’t help but cry happy tears. Of course Roger wiped them away and I said to him.

“Thank god you went with My Girl rather than Happy birthday.” He smiled and said.

“C’mon love did you really think I’d pick that song for our father-daughter dance?”

“But why this song? I thought you hated songs like that because they were too disco for you?”

“I did, but then I remember you telling me that your dad would sing this to you when you were a little girl. Thought he would’ve wanted this song to be sung at your wedding.” I looked at him surprised.

“Roger. I told you that like 4 years ago when I was still Jim’s intern, how is it that you remember that?”

“When it comes to you love, I remember everything.” He said as he stroked my cheek. I looked at him ready to cry all over again as I whimpered.

“Oh dad, I love you!” I hugged him as tight as I could and he gladly hugged me back and said in my ear.

“I love you too my proud lioness.” I felt him kiss the side of my head as he kept me in his arms for a little while longer.

For the rest of the reception it was filled with nothing but love and happiness. Jack and I got to cut the cake together, and of course we had to tease each other as he playfully wiped a piece of frosting on my nose to which I retaliated and wiped a bigger bit of frosting across his cheek.

Hundreds of pictures were taken with family members; each picture being mixed up with various people in each pic like for example one picture was just with my and the boys, then me and Jack. Or Jack with the boys and me with his mum.

The bouquet and garter were each thrown and the lucky lady to catch the bouquet was none other than Deacy’s daughter Laura with the help of Veronica, and the garter was caught by Jared’s son 7 year old son Thomas with the help of his dad.

By nightfall all the guests had cleared out of the farm leaving Jack’s parents, my boys, their wives and children. Robert, Laura and Veronica were doing the last ribbon details on the back of Jack’s impala which read on the back window the famous.

JUST MARRIED!!

Jack and I came up to the car and we each said goodbye to our family and they bid us goodbye and for us to have a good honeymoon. Jack got in the driver’s seat and I got in the passenger seat and we both waved goodbye as Jack revved his engine.

Soon we drove off into the night.

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