#rather than being told this IS the Doctor's backstory

[3-2-whump]

Purpose Lost, Then Re-gained

Hey everyone,

If you need a timely distraction from spiraling into despair (like me), here is a backstory I've been holding onto for ages. Thanks @whumped-by-glitter and @generic-whumperz for beta-reading this!

PS, there is a reference to a previous chapter that you'd might want to brush up on, if you're unfamiliar with it

TW/CW: blood, aftermath of murder, whump aftermath (I guess?), aftermath of (sports) injury, emotional whump (depression), feelings realization (bi panic)

Out, damned spot; out, I say. One, two, —why, then ’tis time to do’t. Hell is murky. Fie, my lord, fie, a soldier and afeard? What need we fear who knows it when none can call our power to account? Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him?

Nico scrubbed his hands once, twice, until they were pinkish-red from the effort of cleansing rather than from the blood. Yet he could still feel his boss’ warm blood sticking his palms to the dead man’s body and staining him to his bones. Outside the thin doors of the dock’s restrooms, he could hear Julio instructing Juicio Divino on where to hang up Tom’s body.

Thomas Costa’s body.

Nico thought he was going to be sick.

The door swung open and Julio leisurely sauntered up beside him, taking the sink next to him to wash the blood off his hands. They stood there in silence with nothing but the water running between them and a tension that could be cut with a knife.

Julio glanced over at Nico’s scrubbed-raw hands, frowning a little as he turned off the water to his sink. “You good there, vato?” he asked quietly.

“You know, it’s just kinda fucked, isn’t it?” Nico began, the words tumbling out of his mouth before his brain could make sense of them. “I literally just helped you murder a rapist, an enslaver, and an abuser, among other things. Yet, all I can think about is how that same rapist, enslaver, and abuser cured my depression and gave me a purpose to life again, and we literally just took his-”

Julio cut off his nervous babbling by placing a damp, clean hand on Nico’s. The other hand reached to turn off the sink, and then to turn Nico towards him. Forest green eyes looked down into hazel. Julio frowned, reaching gently to touch one of Nico’s many scrapes he got on his face. The guard flinched under the assassin’s tender touch. Julio withdrew his hand right away, and Nico surprised himself when he found he missed its absence already.

“We need to clean those too so they don’t get infected,” Julio murmured. He gently led Nico into a bathroom stall and prompted him to sit down on the toilet. He then exited for a bit, only to come back with a paper towel he was blotting with alcohol from his jacket flask.

“Um, actually, I don’t think booze is the best thing to sterilize wounds,” Nico tried to say.

Julio hushed him as he began gently dabbing Nico’s split brow with the paper towel. Nico gritted his teeth; that stuff stung. He inhaled a comforting scent on the next painful hiss. Julio smelled…nice… a bit like marijuana and gunpowder and musk, but nice all the same.

Julio worked his way down to the cut below Nico’s left eye, staring intensely at his face in the meantime. Nico bristled under the man’s scrutiny. He wasn’t used to being touched so tenderly, not since-

2014

He was told that the torn ligament would need surgery. That he would need to go to rehab for weeks, if not months, after the fact. That he would miss the rest of the football season.

But that couldn’t be it. That wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Nico Clemenza was supposed to lead St. Drogo’s to victory this season, attract the attention of university recruiters, and be offered a full-ride to Syracuse or something like that. But here he was, at the hospital, sitting between his parents, as the doctor told him his whole future had gone up in smoke.

His father had hugged him. His mother had gently wiped his tears away. That was the first (and last) time they had touched him so tenderly in a while.

-

2015

It was the second semester of his senior year, and Nico was already so sick of people asking him what his future plans were. Even his therapist asked –well, she didn’t ask, but he could sense her concern when he couldn’t come up with an answer. Half the time he just wanted to scream that he had no plan, no future, nothing, and that everything he had pinned his hopes on since he was ten years old was gone. But the most he did was noncommittally shrug and murmur a despondent “I don’t know.”

After graduation, life became a bit of a dull gray monotony. Wake up, sulk, play video games and sulk, eat when his mother insisted he come downstairs for lunch, go to therapy, come home, sulk some more until dinnertime, and then take an hour-long shower before staying up late to sulk until he fell asleep.

Nico stared vacantly at his ceiling, letting the rotation of the fan’s blade lull him into a kind of trance. On the shelves of his bedroom were pictures of his old football team, awards from the debate club, trophies from past athletic competitions–all of them remnants of a boy he used to be. He really thought he should pack them all into a box and stuff them into his closet already, but he hadn’t even had the energy for something as simple as that.

A long-haired brunette leaned over his field of vision, waving her manicured fingernails in his face to get his attention. Her eyes, which looked much like his own, stared down at him in concern. She kept waving her hand in his face. Nico finally acknowledged his sister with a grunt. She stopped waving her hand. “Jeez, you are depressed,” she said with a frown.

“Leave me alone, Jessica,” he moaned.

He was about to turn onto his side, back facing her, when a pair of firm hands with manicured nails pinned him down onto the mattress. “It’s been a whole year now,” she stressed. Nico rolled his eyes; as if he weren’t painfully aware. “Mom and dad are worried about you,” she told him. Then, a little quieter, she admitted, “I’m worried about you.”

He pushed himself up from the Nico-sized divot he made in his bed, getting into a sitting position as he stared up at his older sister. “Yeah, well, maybe once you’ve missed your shot to do the only thing you were ever good for, then you’d be depressed too,” he sniped, though his words had no heat behind them.

Jessica sat on the bed next to her brother, bringing their gazes to the same level. “Come on, you don’t mean that, do you?” she asked. When Nico didn’t answer, she continued. “I mean, you were so much more than just football captain of St. Drogo’s, Nic-Nac! Did ‘president of the debate club’ and ‘honor roll student’ mean nothing to you?”

“Yeah, you don’t really get full-ride scholarships for being the smartest smart-ass in the room, do you?” he mumbled.

“But, you do get degrees,” Jessica argued.

And Nico knew she was right, and that with his grades, he could’ve applied to any university he’d like without a hitch. But, without any true sense of what he wanted to do with his life now, let alone what he’d want to study for four years, he figured it would’ve been a waste of everyone’s time and money for him to go to college without a plan. Surely his sister would’ve remember this; she tried to get him to apply to her college several months ago.

Speaking of which… “What are you even doing home this weekend?” he asked her, changing the subject. “It’s not a holiday, is it?” He was only vaguely aware that it was even October, thanks to the Halloween decorations at his therapist’s office.

Jessica shook her head. “Uncle Mike and the new boss are visiting, so Dad wanted me to come home to sell the whole ‘happy family’ image,” she explained.

“’Happy family’ image?” Nico echoed, cocking his head in confusion. As far as he was aware, their family was perfectly normal, and the only unhappy one was him.

“And you, Mr. Nic-Nac, are the unhappiest of us all and are dragging us down!” she jokingly scolded him, as if she could read his mind. She pulled him by the arm off the bed and out of his room. “Take a shower, shave your face, fix your hair, and please change into something nice,” she instructed him. She shoved him into the bathroom and slammed the door behind him. “They’ll be here in half an hour!”

-

The new boss, Mr. Thomas J. Costa, was nothing like Nico had expected. He was young, like, mid-thirties, with a polite demeanor that slipped into something more personal and friendly when his Uncle Mike was around. He was crass, talking frankly about every minor inconvenience of his day while sprinkling in enough expletives to fill the Clemenza swear jar thrice over. He was relatable; he and Nico shared the same music tastes, and Nico’s jaw dropped in awe as the Boss relayed a tale of meeting Kurt Cobain in person.

And, most of all, he gave Nico’s life direction again.

It was a couple hours after dinner, as his mom and Jessica cleaned up in the kitchen and the men smoked in the back yard. Nico had been allowed to join the men outside, but all he did was stand awkwardly around the periphery as Don Costa regaled his dad and his uncle with the antics of a new puppy he was training (if he overheard that right).

“Yeah, he’s a dense little fucker, but he’ll get it, eventually,” Thomas sighed.

“Not like my Nico over here,” his dad had boasted proudly. Nico fought against the instinct to shrink in on himself as his father waved towards his direction and all three pairs of eyes fell onto him. “Honor roll student, president of the debate club, and former captain of the St. Drogo’s Direwolves.”

Former. He’d hoped that a year later, the word wouldn’t hurt so much. Too bad, it still did.

“That so?” The Boss took a puff of his cigarette, then redirected his attention to Nico. “Hey, kid, what are you doing? You in school, studying anything?”

“Oh, n-no, um, no, I’m not. I’m not, sir,” Nico stuttered, throwing in the honorific at the last minute as he subconsciously straightened his posture.

“Well, do you want to be studying?” Thomas bore down on him, steely gray eyes sharp with ambition and gleaming with promises. “What would you study, if you were in school right now?”

Nico’s mouth opened and closed like a fish as he struggled his way through an answer, eventually landing on a painfully-exhaled “eh…”

Thankfully, the new Boss didn’t laugh, or even sigh disappointedly like his uncle just now. Instead, he looked the young man over carefully, silently appraising him for a worth that Nico could hardly find in himself. “Our company could do with a legal consultant,” he said after a moment’s pause. “Frank himself said he wants to retire by the time he’s sixty-five, which would give you about seven years or so to get a law degree and complete an internship at Costa Insurance, if that’s something you’d want to do.”

Uncle Mike glanced at Don Costa. “Tom, isn’t he a little young to bring into the-”

“No younger than you were when Grandpa Tony brought you into the fold,” Thomas answered. He stuck his palm out to Nico, inviting him to shake on it. “Well, Nico?” he asked.

-

“And after a year of not having any sense of direction or purpose, to finally be thrown that line, to be shown a future I could attain…” Nico continued rambling on, “…I just went for it!”

Julio hummed to let him know he was listening as he applied the Band-Aids to his face.

“I put my whole ass into law school, and the gym, and guard duty, and for what?” Nico asked, hopping from his seat and marching out the bathroom stall as soon as Julio stopped leaning over him. “To find out it was a lie,” he grumbled, “that the man who got me out of my depression was a hopeless, selfish, sexually and physically abusive, manipulative piece of-”

“I get it, I get it,” Julio answered, opening the door of the restroom onto the snowy night. He sighed, closing his eyes as he collected his thoughts before looking up at Nico through his lashes, which were quickly collecting snow. “I looked up to someone who later came to disappoint me, too,” he whispered. “But look, Nico –Nico!”

Nico blinked back the furious stinging in his eyes. Julio was standing close to him, squinting up at him through snow-flake jeweled eyelashes as he enunciated his next words clearly. “He didn’t get you out of your depression. You put in the work, you studied those long hours, you saw your future and you ran at it with everything you had to get it. You did all that, not him. He was just the spark, if you will, but the rest?” His tattooed hand thumped his sternum with every word he uttered next. “That. Was. All. You.”

And, for the first time since he found out the truth about Khaled, Nico felt something warm and fulfilling –pride? –swell in his chest. Julio smiled up at him. “You don’t owe anybody anything, and you should take pride in what you’ve accomplished on your own,” he told him.

Julio’s smile was wide, comforting, even. Nico’s heart pounded. It was unlike any smile he’d received from Khaled. No shy smiles that barely reached his eyes on this one; Julio’s smile was all teeth, fierce, feral, and free in its unabashed expressions. The closest Khaled ever came to smiling that sincerely around Nico was when his favorite team scored a goal, and even then, never this brightly.

Why was he only now realizing how different they were? Khaled and Julio were like the sun and the moon! Where one would quietly slink into a room and blend in with the wall, the other would kick the door open and saunter in with the calm confidence of an alley cat to take the seat at the head of the table, assuming it was not already occupied. Where one would omit information, and divert the subject to avoid talking about the things that mattered, the other would not shut up, especially about the things that mattered (justice, judgment, obligations, etc.). Where one would have to be continuously pressured into giving a half-truth after boldly lying to his face for years, the other was nothing but honest with him from the beginning. He told Nico he’d kill Thomas Costa for what he did to Khaled, and by god, he meant every word. Nico found himself falling in love with him that honesty.

But it’s not like Khaled was in any position to tell me the truth, Nico remembered, not without endangering himself or me. Still, though, it was refreshing to have someone like Julio be their true, authentic selves around him. Dare he say, Julio’s sincerity was even attractive.

But Nico liked women, okay? (Right?) At least, he thought he did. Being raised in a conservative, Italian-American, nominally Catholic organized crime family taught him that liking women was the only acceptable answer. His entire sexual history constituted women. However, Nico knew what he felt in the public restroom of that bar. Temptation. Nobody who exclusively liked women would feel temptation as Khaled stood on his tiptoes and attempted to kiss him. Yet it took everything in his power not to kiss him that night. And he found himself fantasizing about the ‘what-ifs’ ever since.

Nico first fell for Khaled, how he looked up at him with deep, dark brown eyes that a man could easily get lost in. But now, he was losing himself in Julio’s light hazel eyes, glittering a dim golden glow in the darkness of the night. His eyes panned down to Julio’s cheekbones, red from the cold (surely) and dusted lightly with stubbly facial hair. His eyes settled onto Julio’s full, smiling lips. They looked soft. Nico had no idea why he wanted to test that theory.

Is there just something about a murder that brings people together? Nico wondered. He could feel the heat rising in his cheeks the longer he stared at Julio’s lips, imagining what those lips would feel like.

“You good, Nico?” Julio waved a hand over Nico’s fixed gaze, jiggling the padlock chain necklace he wore and making the links clink softly against each other. Nico unfroze, remembering why kissing Julio would be a bad idea, among all the other questionable ideas they had that night.

“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m fine,” he lied. “I just zoned out for a minute.”

Julio –Khaled’s boyfriend –opened his mouth halfway, as if he were about to call Nico out on his lie, but whatever thought flashed between those hazel eyes compelled him to shut it again. He trudged away from the restroom and towards Nico’s Jeep.

Nico exhaled a frosty sigh. Of all the times to have a bi awakening, why did it have to be with a compulsive liar and a gun-for-hire? Why couldn’t he have this realization in high school, when the options were much lower stakes? He shook his head and followed.

Le Tag List: @kabie-whump @rainydaywhump @whumped-by-glitter @skittles-the-whumpee @generic-whumperz @bamber344 @there-will-always-be-blood @morning-star-whump @a-la-whump @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees @defire @phoenixpromptsandstuff @scumashling

[yullalightk]

Mr. Puzzles' 5⭐️Rivals AU design/lore✨

Okay, I was originally going to just post an explanation about his design and make a different post all about his lore in my AU. But, I changed my mind since I don't have a lot to say about his design so I thought it would be a good idea to combine them both into one post instead! hope you'll enjoy this simple yet long explanation of my version of Mr. Puzzles!!

Design👔

For his design, I based the pants off of the 1980s ones and his coat being from the 1960~70s. Since in my hc I think he was born around the mid 1950s or 70s 'cause Disney world was built in 1971 so It would make sense for him to be born around that time period!

I also went with a ringleader-ish design because in his original design, he looked like a circus performer than a movie director which is clever btw! 'cause it shows how he prioritizes his first dream of building an amusement park! Anyhow, I didn't really change much just adding some minor details. Like his hands with multicolored wires wrapping his hands. It would show that he isn't a human anymore and it wouldn't cause so much confusion if he's a robot or not😂

And uhhhh..... yes, I added high healed shoes 'cause, C'MON!! HE WOULD TOTALLY WEAR THOSE!! AHSKDHLJKKBSH

Mr. Puzzles' backstory

So, not sure if you all remember this but, I already made a lore/backstory for Mr. Puzzles. But ever since the new episodes leading up to WOTFI 2024, I changed a lot of Puzzles' backstory! And this isn't complete by any means! I'll change stuff or remove stuff that I think isn't necessary for his character. Until then this is his backstory for now. And I'll make a better Mr. Puzzles' backstory post. I swear I'm cramping in so many things at once it isn't funny anymore😅

The things I changed were that both of his parents are horrible people. But, both of their reason for being harsh/abusive on Adam(Puzzles' human name) is pretty different.

Puzzles' backstory in my AU is that, when he was child his dreams were uncommon, childish, "Not Normal". He was told at a young age by his father that his dreams were unrealistic and that he should be a doctor or something more successful. When Puzzles' didn't listen, he would get beaten by his father emotionally and physically.

His mother on the other hand couldn't care less about who or what he wanted to be but, focused on what she wanted him her to be.

A girl. She never wanted a son she wanted a daughter who would be raised to be just like her, the thing is both of her parents push what they want their son to be, Rather than listening or try accepting their son for who he wants to be and what he likes, they and the people around him treat him like nothing but a freak, someone who doesn't belong to the place that was supposed to be his "home"

He wanted to prove his father wrong that no matter how childish his dreams is he can be successful, and once he was successful enough, he would create a new world where nobody is alone. He will create a world where anybody can be anything! without having anyone to tell them what to be. He took many drastic measures to make his dream a reality though, like cutting off his head and torturing his victims just for the viewers entertainment. And once he was famous he will have enough power to make his own world.

Long story short: He lived a horrible life in a horrible world, and he wanted to create a better world where nobody will suffer again, and at the same time prove to his father that he can be successful in life no matter how childish his dream may be. And gain friends along the way.

I'll come up with a better backstory... this one is just full of my hcs, too many hcs.

[sweet7simple]

A dratchrod mechpreg headcanon or thought you have?

🥹 My first Transformers prompt. Thank you.

My ideas of mechpreg are heavily inspired by other writers, especially Exdraghunt's "Baby Blues" (https://archiveofourown.org/works/51292837/chapters/129600418), which gave me the idea that a developing bitlet constantly needs resources (like building materials, circuitry, fuel, etc...) while forged, and those resources are, to some extent, supplied by transfluid. So a healthy carrier is a carrier receiving lots of transfluid from their partner(s).

(Fun fact! This isn't that unusual. In nature, we have insects that provide nutritious nuptial gifts (food) to their ladies before, during, or after mating - and sometimes the nuptial gift is a whole wad of spermatophore. That's the sperm plus a protein-rich structure to help the sperm travel. While the sperm is traveling through the lady, she is munching down on the rest of the spermatophore and getting all those tasty healthy benefits. Remember, kids, when the male puts the gift straight in the lady's reproductive tract, that is called a seminal gift.)

This is a lot of backstory, but I really love reproductive biology. What I am getting at here is that a carrier having more than one mate is very healthy and doctor-recommended (and by doctor, I don't mean JUST Ratchet. Other doctors also recommend it).

Now, personal headcanons: Rodimus would absolutely give his life to protect his bytes and he is absolutely the fun creator. He would love his bitlets with all his spark, he would face the DJD all over again for them. But he's not the carrier (I go feral for carrier Rodimus, but hear me out). He has this idea that to be a carrier is to sacrifice, and he's willing to sacrifice, but it's not in a cute, "I'm willing to constantly overheat, lag, upset my center of gravity and put untold strain on my strut frame because it's going to be worth it for that special carrier-sparkling connection!"

No, he means sacrifice in the sense that, "No one ACTUALLY wants to be a carrier, someone just has to do it and it might as well be me so that you two don't have to deal with it."

To which Ratchet responds, "Is that what your carrier told you?"

"Yeah?"

And Ratchet says, "Good to know, we're gonna have to talk about that."

So Rodimus isn't the carrier - not the first time around. The second time around is a different story once he sees what a healthy carrier-sparkling connection is really like.

Ratchet is also not the carrier. He did have a healthy relationship with his carrier, and he does want to carry, but he's also suffering from frame fatigue and joint pain. He's stubborn and saying he can handle it, but a second opinion from First Aid reveals that Ratchet is at high risk of carrier-related brittle strut disease - if he carries, the struts of his pelvic girdle and lower spinal column could become very weak and even break. Not only that, but he is very likely to develop high fuel pressure, which can lead to clogs and then tank damage, which can lead to burning out his batteries and then we're talking spark issues...

So Ratchet loses that argument rather grumpily.

Which makes Drift the carrier. He's terrified, mind you. Last he saw his own carrier and sires, they were being arrested and carted off. Drift doesn't even remember what they were arrested for. As an assassin, he went looking for them. He found two death records for one sire and his carrier, a warrant for another sire that went missing from the mining colony he had been assigned to, and the third sire was trapped in a prison cell, barely functioning and unable to recognize his own sparkling.

Growing up on the streets of Polyhex, losing himself to drug addiction in Dead End, being an assassin, rising through the ranks of the Deception faction, constantly fighting for his life - Drift doesn't feel prepared to be a carrier. He barely feels worthy of it. But he wants it so damn bad that when Ratchet and Rodimus ask if he's sure, what comes out is a small, desperate, "Please."

It's a mix of his faith and his mates that get him through the forging. He is just so anxious every step of the way.

First, he is scared that he won't get sparked. Well, Primus, the first Carrier, the Life Bringer, their Creator, must be smiling down upon him (hah), because he's sparked within the first three cycles of having his crucible uncapped. It's practically instantaneous. It helps that his mates are eager to see him carry.

Then he is scared that something will go wrong. There will be a glitch in the forging programs, there will be a malfunction with his equipment, the sparkling will go cold inside of him - somehow, he is going to lose this bitlet.

He doesn't, though. He meditates a lot and fuels constantly and charges often. He receives plenty of transfluid loads from his mates. Every checkup with First Aid ends well - his bitlet is doing great and so is he. Everything's wonderful.

He is overheating constantly, sometimes loses track of conversations due to lagging (the forging programs take up a lot of processing space, okay?), and also loses his balance if he moves too fast due to his unstable center of gravity. He gets dizzy from increased fuel flow, is constantly hungry, and also constant tired because his bitlet is practically sucking his batteries dry. His spark is engorged, which is the strangest feeling he has ever experienced - like it is swollen and also somehow sweating boiling-hot perspiration.

But not for a single moment does he wish he wasn't forged. Not for a single moment does he regret getting sparked by his mates. He could do without the uncomfortable parts of carrying, but there is something so beautiful about knowing that a new life is being constructed inside of him, that this new life is a part of him and Ratchet and Rodimus. He feels like he's part of something truly sacred, it's the closest he has ever been to the First Carrier, the Creator of Life.

It doesn't hurt that he's receiving transfluid from his mates almost every cycle, which feels a lot like worship when Ratchet and Rodimus look at him like that (like he is the miracle, like what he is doing is a miracle, like he's beautiful, like he is unbelievably desirable).

Around the 2nd construction quarter (of 4), his sparkling sends it's first ping.

Drift is shocked. He's walking through the cafeteria one klik and, the next, someone is helping him sit down after he practically crashes into a table.

He's barley aware of the mechs around him as he cautiously pings back. His sparkling pings back again!

"Oh, Primus," he says, and pings back.

This is the fabled carrier-sparkling connection he keeps getting told about. It's a direct comm line between him and the bitlet inside of him, but his bitlet is extremely limited on the information they can send. They don't understand language yet and have no concept of images, or the ability to process them.

So his byte pings constantly. Drift pings back almost every time unless he's recharging. Rodimus is amazed at his patience.

"I want it to know that I'm here and I'm listening. Always. Even if it has nothing to say yet."

There is something raw and hurt and needy in Rodimus's expression.

Drift tilts his helm. "That isn't what your carrier did for you, was it?"

Rodimus ducs his helm. Instead of speaking to Drift, he gets on his knees, presses his face against his torso plates, and speaks to the bitty inside of him about how much Rodimus loves it and all the fun adventures they're going to have.

Drift strokes Rodimus's helm and his spoiler, leaning back against the nearest wall. It's a good cycle. A healing cycle.

Rodimus even starts getting a little jealous that Drift can "talk" to their bitty and he can't (but it's in a funny, pouty way).

As his bit develops, Drift gets little pings and bursts of color and sometimes an emotion. He gets garbled recordings of voices around the third construction quarter and he starts keening.

"What? What's wrong?" Rodimus is full-on panicking.

Ratchet is already manually pulling open his port panel so he can connect in and run diagnostics.

But then Drift is laughing, shooing his mates away. "Our byte knows what you both sound like." He is keen-laughing somehow. "You sound ridiculous."

They all sound ridiculous to his bitlet, he learns, garbled and unclear. But his bitlet loves being talked to, even if it doesn't understand what they're saying. It's scared whenever Ratchet bark-laughs (which Drift and Rodimus find hilarious), but it falls asleep to the sound of Ratchet reading. It gets all excited whenever Rodimus tells stories and thinks it's funny whenever Rodimus makes silly noises at him. It pings waves of peace when Drift sings to it.

At the end of the fourth quarter plus some cycles, Drift ejects a healthy, pill-shaped silver protoform. The birth metal is hot and the protoform slowly unfolds its arms, legs, helm, and spoiler to reveal a tiny, gorgeous byte. It takes cycles for pigment to develop and no one is surprised to see a bright red coat with white and gold accents.

The byte's armor plates are soft and malleable for most of his development and his diet is rich in liquid or sprinkled Cybertronian metal so that his armor will grow thick and strong.

He's a rambunctious, somewhat feral byte that is driving Ratchet up a wall with his antics and who is making Rodimus so proud he can barely contain himself, and he is so, so loved.

Their byte is still soft-shelled, not having reached full maturity, when Rodimus suggests one night in the berth, "Sooo... Thoughts on having another one?"

Ratchet grunts, already halfway to recharge. "Drift needs to recover before we pop another bitlet in his crucible."

"First Aid told me I shouldn't carry again for at least another or" Drift agreed sadly. He loved carrying.

"Actually, I was thinking... Maybe it could be my turn? To carry, that is. I don't know, Drift made it look fun."

Ratchet is suddenly fully awake and staring straight at Rodimus, who is trying to stare back in a way that shows this isn't a big deal and it's not a weird or out of character request, really.

"Do you really want to?" Ratchet asks, gaze piercing. "You have to be honest with us."

"Would you, Roddy?" Drift asks, servo stroking over Rodimus's torso plates. "Would you carry our bitlet for us?"

Rodimus looks back at them and says softly, desperately, "Please."

[canonmisogynyvictimstournament]

PROPAGANDA

SAKURA HARUNO (NARUTO)

1.) 1.) It is repeatedly stated throughout the series the areas in which she excels. We are told over and over again that she is gifted (early on in the series) or tremendously strong (end of the series) and yet with the exception of of the Sasori fight, there seems to be a staunch refusal to actually SHOW her being competent in a fight. 2.) her backstory ties into nothing plotwise as far as the overarching world and history of the village and its families. The three other leads (Sasuke Naruo, Kakashi) all get their own relevant backstory that gets delved into. But Sakura? Neither has one nor goes off and embroils herself personally into one of these overarching plot points. She is constantly forced to just be a companion/side character to the stories of her male counterparts. 3.) She’s given so much potential for a great powersuite and those all either go unrealized or she gets shown up by other characters. idk if this is what was meant by propaganda but its what i got

2.) Despite becoming the world’s best surgeon and doctor at age 17 (including doing open heart surgery in the middle of an active battlefield), her achievements are routinely undercut and underplayed by the canon.

It’s all the more disappointing because in some ways, she’s a very realistic and humanistic depiction of a teenage girl. Unlike her teammates, she grew up in what we would consider a pretty average family situation (two living parents who love her, even if they don’t understand her choices), and has relatively average goals at the beginning. Compared to her teammates who are orphans from dynastic ninja clans, who were basically born to a lineage of massive amounts of powerful ninja magic; Sakura’s civilian family has given her no genetic predisposition to being powerful. Despite this, she’s shown to be highly intelligent, achieving top scores on exams and having a deep knowledge for theory and concepts.

She begins the story having a crush on Sasuke Uchiha, a boy who has no interest in her, and hating Naruto, their village’s Omelas Child. However, as she works with her team, she bonds with them on a deeper level, and works very hard to meet their natural level of skill and not be deadweight on their team.

However, despite the fact that trios are treated with deep cultural and narrative significance throughout Naruto, the narrative quickly abandons the “Team 7 Trio” framing in all the ways that matter, becoming the Naruto-and-Sasuke show in all ways that matter. When Sakura gets her time to shine, she’s always undercut. Her massive physical strength and strong sense of self in Shippuden are never treated with the same reverence as her teammates’. Despite the fact that she can easily shatter rock and manipulate the ground with her sheer physical power, and that she was originally presented as good at genjutsu (illusion magic); she becomes a field medic/doctor – a carer/support role, rather than a DPS. Her decisions to advocate for herself and the people she cares about (such as trying to kill Sasuke) are treated as foolish and naive, not a heroic choice to try and help her friends at a large personal cost.

She also basically never gets to fight a man, except for one important case: Sasori. This is important, because the female characters in Naruto are routinely presented as less powerful and less of a threat than male characters. While her fight with Sasori is a fantastic arc, it ends with Sasori undercutting her victory by being like “well actually I wanted to die”, implying that he’d chosen to let her win, not that her win is well deserved. This is at the start of Shippuden, she doesn’t get a solo fight arc after that.

Of course, the most egregious thing done to Sakura is that she’s married off to Sasuke. Despite the fact that Sasuke is never once shown to give a shit about her, and the fact that her character development in a large part was about her giving up the childish and misogynistic desire to be a wife to the cute guy in her class, suddenly they’re together. Sasuke is a deadbeat husband, however, and immediately fucks off, to the point where he doesn’t recognise their child when he meets her, and tries to kill her. Sakura-the-housewife-waiting-at-the-window-for-her-husband’s-return is again now deeply in love with a man who doesn’t give a shit about her. The only photo she has of them together is shown to be a cutout of another photo of Sasuke stuck on a photo of her. She’s again trapped in a housewife box, her achievements and skill sideline to her ability to rear a child for the male lead. And worse, despite the fact she’s a very confident person who otherwise has no issue advocating for herself, she doesn’t really seem to fight back against this awful status quo in her relationship, grateful for the scraps of affection Sasuke delivers to her once a decade.

3.) Despite being on a team of three, she’s always side lined for the other two. Her whole thing is healing, then in a major arc at the end of the main series a character gets hurt and when she goes to attempt to heal them, she is pushed aside so Naruto can do his amazing magic healing that he just learned and is already better at it than her.

HINATA HYUUGA (NARUTO)

1.) When Hinata was introduced she goals, weaknesses, interesting interactions and relationships with characters other than naruto and a personality of her own. Post timeskip in shippuden, however, she was reduced down to simply ‘naruto’s future love interest’ and little else. The entire Hyuuga plotline was dropped and she no longer had any relevance or personality outside of naruto. Part 1 hinata was shy and insecure on the surface but underneath that she was determined & hardworking, even to her own detriment. Her struggles were compelling. Her interactions with neji and her family are something you look forward to seeing more of. In shippuden she’s like a flat carboard cutout of hinata. Her shyness exaggerated, her relationship with her family suddenly perfectly fine and boring. In part 1 naruto inspires her to keep trying but he isn’t the reason she’s working so hard, in shippuden he’s pretty much all she thinks about. Her change in character design really highlights these changes - the perfect little wife for cishet men to fantasise about.

2.) Her entire personality and arc is boiled down to “shy uwu waifu in love with Naruto” and basically any development she gets, which is barely at all because Kishimoto hates women, is as attributed to NARUTO and Naruto only. Even her reaction to her beloved COUSIN’S DEATH makes her be like “omg I love Naruto” and serves to further NaruHina, which is absolutely insane she would Not react like that. Naruto only starts being romantically interested in her at the beginning of like, The Last movie, which is after 500ish episodes of her being treated as the sidelined love interest who is devoted to a guy who only cares about her when she’s a damsel in distress on a fight.

There are so many parts of her character that are/could be interesting, like her part in the Hyuga Clan due to being born as a superior and her dynamic with her cousin Neji as a result, (which could have had SO many great moments of reconciliation and standing up for each other grrr grrr) an exploration of the impact of her bullying & being looked down upon (even when she’s supposed to be a superior member, which adds to the shame) LIKE MANY OF THE CAST, seriously the people Naruto trauma dumps to are mostly consisted of people unfairly treated like that and it could have been used to further NaruHina WHILE showing her struggles

She is an incredibly capable fighter but the moment Naruto is there, she instantly becomes defenseless and needs to be saved by her crush, mostly as a “wow look at him isn’t he so brave and kind to do this for her?!”

There’s an episode where she is literally used as a defenseless punching bag for Pein by trying to sacrifice herself for Naruto and telling him she loves him, JUST so he can be more angry and have more motivation to beat Pein’s ass (aside of the yknow. Killing his loved ones thing) AND her confession is ignored by Naruto for the rest of the series. Just like any moment she shows her crush for him is met with obliviousness, which would be fine if they weren’t the main couple and didn’t go on for THE ENTIRE SERIES!!!!

In Boruto, the shitty sequel, Naruto is basically her deadbeat husband in her bland lavander marriage and Boruto is rightfully mad about Naruto’s distance from the family and even says he left her basically a single mom and barely pays time to the family, and Hinata’s role in the show as the housewife is being like “no you see Boruto you have to understand your father’s pov as the Hokage” and the narrative treats NaruHina’s marriage as a Good, Healthy Thing as if the characters are not miserable in this marriage.

3.) Man I don’t even like her that much but she deserved SO much better. She was introduced as the heiress of a really powerful and renowed clan with complex dynamics, yet the author somehow decided to do almost NOTHING with the potential she had, and gave her very little personality besides being shy and fawning over the protagonist. She gets slightly more active in Shippuden (part 2), but her character still pretty much revolves around her love for Naruto, which sucks because again, she has so much potential. It’s no secret that women in Naruto are badly written, and Hinata certainly is no exception. The male characters get dozens of episodes/chapters about their motivations, their backstories, what pushes them to keep going, and Hinata gets almost nothing besides her lifelong crush on Naruto that we are reminded of literally every time she’s on screen.

[multi-lefaiye]

HANNAH & ABDIEL BACKSTORY DUMP POST

i've wanted to write this for a while tbh- anyway! backstory on eden's parents, hannah and abdiel linnaeus.

tagging the eden linnaeus fanclub and other people i think would be interested: @skitzo-kero @anexor @chaieyestea @invaderskoodge @vacantgodling

@void-botanist @drawnecromancy @moonflowerrss @paradoxspir1t @albatris

@corvus-rose @astral-runic

--

content warnings: discussions of child abuse, child neglect/abandonment, parental death, terminal illness, misogyny, and ableism. (probably not as much on that last one, but i think the vibes are there.)

also i'll be using she/her in reference to eden in this post because this is wayyy before he had any gender realizations. just remember eden is A Man.

-

i don't have recent art of hannah, so i'll just use screencaps of when i made her and abdiel in bg3 as a reference. hannah on the left, abdiel on the right.

FOR BACKGROUND: abdiel is the only son of a drow scholar named noa of house linnaeus, following an intimate encounter with an incubus in her early 20s. noa never wanted a child, much less a son, but she was far too prideful and stubborn to give him up or abort the unborn fetus. so, she had a son, and she loathed him. from a very young age, noa made it clear to abdiel that she never wanted him, and that it was his responsibility to fix the mistake he'd made by being born.

she pumped that kid FULL of self worth issues right away.

hannah, by contrast, was raised by two loving tiefling parents--her father jeriah, and her mother ansel. their life together wasn't perfect, sure, but it was happy. both of her parents were spellcasters, and they were both renowned on some level for their craft. and so, from a rather young age, there was an unspoken expectation that hannah would follow suit.

HOW THEY MET: hannah and abdiel met at fantasy-wizard-college, when hannah was 20 and abdiel was 35. hannah was in the middle of her undergrad studies as a cleric, and abdiel was in the middle of his doctoral program as a wizard. abdiel didn't actually start college until his late 20s because noa would not allow him to, pressuring him to stay and take care of her as she got older. he hated his mother, but he was also terrified of losing her, as he felt no one else would have him. eventually, though, he left her behind, desperate to escape his abuser and start his life elsewhere. and that included attending college to study magic.

college was... rough for abdiel. he was significantly older than his peers and felt both uncomfortable and deeply alienated around them, especially many of the women on campus who reminded him of his mother. that combined with his total lack of self worth made it hard for him to talk to people, hard to make any *friends.* so, he was alone, and he was fine... until, one day, he hit a breaking point and broke down in a hidden corner of the main meal hall, bawling into his hands.

then, hannah found him. she was genuinely worried and approached him, asking if she could sit next to him. he tensed and asked her what she'd do if he said no, and she said that if he said no she'd leave. but, well, he seemed like he might need a friend, so she wanted to ask. he was quiet for a while after that, still shaking.

eventually, he timidly told her she could sit with him, so she did so, and she kept him company until he fully calmed down. afterwards, she started talking to him, and slowly he began opening up to her, feeling more reassured by the minute by how sweet and genuine she was, without pressuring him to do the same.

soon, he started really engaging with her, too, and by the end he was actually smiling. and hannah took that as a victory above all else--being able to see this sad, anxious man smile. (she told him that he has a nice smile, and he laughed, visibly flustered by the compliment.)

after that day, hannah started seeking him out and talking to him more, and he always seemed to visibly relax around her. basically, hannah appointed herself as abdiel's best friend, and he accepted wholeheartedly. she quickly became one of the only people he felt truly safe around, and he latched onto her as a result. she encouraged him to open up more and talk to other people, too, and as he did, he finally began to truly *flourish.*

with hannah's support, abdiel began slowly making more friends and developing more of a reputation with his classmates as an outgoing, intelligent, charismatic guy. finally, he felt like he belonged at university, like people wanted him around. hannah was his favorite, ofc, but he relished the attention.

and he returned the favor tenfold, supporting hannah in every way he could and bragging about her to anyone who would listen. he was a wife guy well before they even started dating. though she was already very confident, sweet, and intelligent, one thing she really struggled with was taking care of *herself* rather than other people, hence why she approached a terrified abdiel to comfort him in the first place.

abdiel encouraged hannah to consider herself more, praising her for her altruism while also telling her to value herself. he was terrified that the world would take advantage of her brilliant, beautiful, benevolent soul, and he wanted to protect her and protect that selflessness. besides his classwork and research, abdiel spent much of his free time with her, soaking up her attention and, in his mind, protecting her from people who wouldn't appreciate her.

abdiel eventually realized he was attracted to hannah in a way he'd never been with anyone before. and he *panicked*. he believed that he should be grateful for what he had with hannah, should be lucky to count her as his friend, and he shouldn't dare wish for anything else. so he kept his mouth shut for nearly a year after he realized it.

then, when hannah was 22 and abdiel was 37, hannah's father jeriah died. and she just... *broke* down.

abdiel held her throughout the night she got the news, his heart breaking with every heaving sob she let out into his chest. sure, he'd seen plenty of people cry, but none hurt as much as hannah did. he'd never seen her so devastated, and he vowed to himself that he'd do everything in his power to make sure she never cried like that again.

(later, hannah explained to abdiel that her dad had been sick for a long time--her family has a history of illness going back generations, and he'd been dealing with it for some time. however, she'd hoped against hope that the latest treatments he'd been receiving would work... this is what directly inspired abdiel to go into medicine, changing course to work towards, maybe, a cure for the illness in hannah's family. all of abdiel's contributions to medical science trace back to her.)

a few weeks after her dad's death, hannah actually made the first move and kissed abdiel. immediately, she panicked and pulled away, babbling apologies and telling him that it's okay if he doesn't like her that way, and she doesn't want to make things *weird*, but she really really likes him and he's her best friend in the world, and- (abdiel gently cut her off by cupping her cheek and leaning in to press their lips together again, once he remembered how to move again after his brain short-circuited a little.)

they started dating a day later, after sitting down and talking through their feelings. abdiel already knew he loved hannah, and he was so relieved to finally be able to express it. as far as he was concerned, she was the center of his universe, and he damn near worshipped that woman. hannah, meanwhile, was a bit more hesitant to call it love at first, but she definitely adored him.

(fun little side-note, but hannah's mother ansel definitely did not approve of abdiel at all. she thought hannah could do better, and she was wary of hannah dating an older man. at least, until one day when abdiel sat down with her and earnestly told her how much he loves her daughter. he'd never do anything to hurt hannah, *ever*, and he needed her to know that. ansel didn't have to believe him, but he wanted her to know he meant it, and ge'd prove it. finally, she relented.)

they dated for a couple years, and shortly after they both graduated they moved to a small fishing village named encerough, near where hannah grew up. by this point, abdiel was making a lot of headway in his research into healing magic as a wizard, and he was developing quite a reputation in his field... however, as much as he was enjoying his developing renown, he didn't have much interest in living in a bustling city with his colleagues.

he liked the idea of a quiet life with hannah in the country. especially once hannah got pregnant, at which point they decided to get married. (abdiel definitely prepared a whole elaborate proposal and pulled out , but hannah beat him to it and proposed after she told him she was pregnant. he immediately pulled her into his arms and kissed her so fast she nearly fell over <3 these two were so immensely Smitten™️)

then, when hannah was 24 and abdiel was 39, she had their first child: a tiny purple tiefling named eden. abdiel held her hand the whole time as she was giving birth, encouraging her and refusing to leave her side. and, afterwards, while she was recovering, he sat with her and smiled, just... watching her with so much love and adoration. he had a family, all his own, and he loved them more than anything.

but, of course... that's where the troubles started. abdiel loved hannah, and he loved eden by extension, but he struggled to connect with his baby the same way he connected with his wife. he looked at eden and felt nothing, and he had no desire to interact with or care for the baby. more than that, having a *daughter* was terrifying to abdiel. he knew logically that a baby couldn't hurt him, but hannah *was* still the only woman he ever felt safe around.

hannah was understanding and reassured him that his daughter knew he loved her, and he was relieved. as long as hannah didn't think less of him, that was all that mattered to him. and so, abdiel made little to no effort to care for or show eden any attention, noticably shrinking away from her and passing her off to her mother.

making things worse, around this time, hannah started developing symptoms of an illness very similar to her father's. nothing too bad at first, but she began to have less energy, her joints began to ache, and she began to struggle to get out of bed. abdiel noticed right away and was *terrified*, throwing himself further into his research to find a cure for hannah before her illness could progress. not that he really discussed this with her--he didn't want to worry her or make her think she was going to die. because she wasn't. he wouldn't let that happen.

of course, the time came where they had to talk about it regardless, and hannah was... resigned. she'd always figured this might happen, but not this soon. but she told abdiel that it's okay. she's not dead yet, and she has plenty of time left with him and their baby girl. she appreciated him trying to help, but she was just happy to spend her life, however much she had left, with the most amazing man in the world, and the beautiful child he'd given her. (abdiel silently promised that he'd make sure she had a happy life. and she wasn't going to die. *she wasnt.*)

fast forward a bit, and hannah and abdiel had their second child: a son named michael. abdiel once again struggled to connect with their baby, but this time he tried. he earnestly tried to be there for both of their kids, even if he mainly cared about them as extensions of his love for hannah. (it was easier with michael, though--perhaps having a son was easier to process.)

still, hannah was proud of him for trying either way, and she told him as such. in between his research into her disease and finding a cure, he spent as much time with his family as he could, especially hannah (though he at least would acknowledge his kids). but... hannah was still getting worse, and abdiel was *terrified.*

they began having more and more talks about what might happen, which grew more and more tense, more and more serious, as they both realized hannah wasn't getting better, and abdiel wasn't any closer to a cure. he wasn't going to stop trying, though. *goddammit*, he wasn't going to stop.

then, around eden's sixth birthday, hannah collapsed and had a violent coughing fit, struggling to breathe as she seized on the floor and eden watched helplessly, terrified for her mother. (abdiel paid the child no mind--he just ran to hannah's side to help her.)

she was ultimately okay, having just strained herself a bit too much while cooking, but abdiel fucking *panicked.* he realized that he wouldn't be able to find a cure to save her in time if he stayed in encerough--he'd have to travel to one of the cities, where he'd have many more resources at his disposal.

it took a week or so for him to get preparations in order, during which time he didn't tell hannah anything, up until the night before he left. when he did, it was presented in a way that boded no arguments: abdiel would be leaving to find a cure, and she would stay *here* and take care of herself (and the kids). he'd be back soon, and she would be okay. abdiel was taking control of a situation where he felt helpless, making decisions for both of them without thinking about what she wanted.

hannah didn't react well. she was upset that he hadn't told her his plans, and she ended up just. telling him point blank that he wasn't going to be able to *cure her.* this was it! she always knew she would die young, and she'd rather her husband *stay* with her and enjoy the time she has left rather than leaving her alone with the vague promise of returning someday to fix her when she *didn't want to be fixed.*

abdiel didn't react well either, and this just... spiraled into a huge argument, which ended with them both in tears (but moreso hannah--abdiel always did have a tendency to shut down emotionally when they disagreed with each other, refusing to listen to what she was saying).

(baby eden also witnessed this argument, not that she ever told either of them about it.)

the next morning, they talked again, calmer this time. and hannah asked abdiel to stay. please. and he told her that he couldn't. if there was even a *tiny* hope that he could save her, he had to take it. because he loved her.

she was clearly devastated to hear that, but she nodded and said okay. but she told him to come back soon, and he told her he would--*after* he'd found a way to save her. and later that day, he was gone.

he never did come home, of course. he sent hannah letters when he could, but not all of them were delivered in a timely manner. without hannah there to balance him out, he lost himself in an obsessive spiral of trying to find a cure, trying to *fix* her, and he easily lost track of the time.

hannah telling him that he hadn't cured her and wasn't going to be able to... well, it hit a nerve, and he was determined to prove her wrong as much as he was determined to save her. he was angry with hannah, not that he'd ever call it that. (and, as a sidenote, it's during this time that abdiel developed most of his fame and renown as a wizard--even though he was no closer to curing hannah's disease, he was behind a lot of major advancements in medical technology in this era.)

when asked, abdiel would tell people he was married, but he rarely went into detail. and he certainly never mentioned his children. no one needed to know about his personal life, not until he'd fixed the problem and saved the love of his life.

and then, nearly six years later, abdiel received word that hannah was dead. and he was *devastated*. he locked himself in his study and completely broke down, drinking himself into a stupor and smashing a bunch of his equipment, and then the numbness fully settled in. he'd failed. and she was gone.

he didn't go to her funeral. he didn't want to face their neighbors, their *children*, knowing he'd failed his hannah and she was gone. and, fuck, their children surely hated him by now, didn't they? after all, he hadn't saved their mother. he'd hate him, too.

so, he stayed away, and he stopped sending letters. he withdrew from his family entirely, and once he was able, he threw himself back into his research, the only thing he had left. if he wasn't going to be able to have the life and family he'd wanted, then he'd at least have his work.

he did try to move on from hannah, but it never really went past the occasional one-night stand. as far as he's concerned, hannah's the only person he ever really cared for, and that's not going to change. there's no one else like her, and there never will be again. and like i *joke* bout him comparing his one-night stands to hannah, but he definitely did that. because no one compares to her.

(and on hannah's end--she never stopped loving or missing abdiel, and she had no interest in moving on from him. she held out hope he would come back, because he told her he would. he'd never broken a promise to her before that, and though she still believed his quest to cure her was fruitless... she knew, if anyone could find a way, it'd be him.)

[casp1an-sea]

Cassander “Cas” Armyn My Spidersona

(the second one is what Ey looks like in Eir universe. Scroll all the way down to see more outfits and character designs)

Age: 18

Gender: Transmasc

Height: 5’1.75”

Pronouns: He/Him/Ey/Em

—————————————————————————

none of these are completely 100% accurate to how I view them in my head because I am always changing his character and universe

———————————————————————— Universe: 131313

best described as an abstract art piece that is alive. Gravity shifts changing up to down and down to up. like in the art piece “Relativity”. It’s almost like a normal city, but the gravity shifts cause it to look like skyscrapers are jutting out at random angles, or even just floating in the sky. (kind of think mirror dimension from Doctor Strange) color, ships and changes as if it’s a separate being creating, a black-and-white inky world with the floating colored shapes. some are small while some are big covering home buildings but they never stay in one place or stay the same shape or size for long. The color of this universe is almost alive. (Similar to the color in “Sith” the first episode of season, two of Star Wars visions) for example, touching an object, would push the color of the object away as the color of your hand displaces it. The color that comes off with your hand when you touch things is unique to every person. And it seems like it has a mind of its own, making constantly shifting works of art around you. Technology is about the same as our universe but the animals and foliage is otherworldly and everything has a painterly feel and the “line art” is always sketchy and smudgy similar to my own. The grass is purple and liquids float.

Canon Events:

Spider bite

Close person death

Commander death

—————————————————————————

Extra:

Has been Spider-Man for roughly 4 years, in the Spider Society for 2

Movement signature: Uses alot of elements of acrobatics and gymnastics so tends to do complex jumps and flips. Enjoys falling as long as possible before catching Emself.

Goes by both his first and last name

Flaps hands when nervous or excited

Has Eczema and psoriasis

His color is bright orange 

Produces web naturally so doesn’t need web shooters but in order to continually produce silk he does eat it

Has fangs but has no clue what they do as he has no desire to bite anything 

Can see extremely long distances and also see in UV color spectrum 

Carries a spiky shield on his back resembling a yellow kite spider (can also use it as a weapon by attaching a web to it so he can throw it and pull it back) (I swear I made this up before I got obsessed with Captain America)

Shoulder panels lift up on the suit and can shoot out small needles, inspired by the tarantula; they act similar to whistling birds from Star Wars, however they just knock people out rather than exploding

Suit is decorated in paint markings to resemble real life spiders; like most art in the universe they shift and change

Has heat receptors over the eyes on the suit

—————————————————————————

Backstory: In Cassander’s  universe Alchemax was a company that closed down years ago. Casander grew up with his parents and younger sister in brooklyn. They always had a strained relationship. When Cassander way 15 Ey moved into Peter Parker’s house where he was living with his aunt and uncle so that he could attend Peter’s school. Cassander was best friends with Peter and later Harry Osborn. Peter was often bullied at school and wanted nothing more than to be popular. He used his friendship with Harry as an In to the popular kid cliche but they really only ever teased him and Cassander often had to deal with the aftermath. Cassander never hung around Harry at school much because Harry was still friends with the popular kids like Ned Leeds and Flash Thompson. While Harry did try to get his popular friends not to pick on Peter they often gave him too much slack which is something he and Cassander argued over a lot. One day the  popular kids told Peter that if he wanted to join their click he had to do an initiation ceremony. He had to stay the night in the abandoned alchemex building. Cassander tried to tell Peter that this was just to make him look stupid and asked him not to do it because it was dangerous but  Peter refused. Cassander tried to get a hold of Harry but he wouldn’t answer so instead Cassander decided that he had to go in as well and make sure Peter stayed safe. That was the night Cassander was bitten after brushing the spider off of peter. They also stumbled upon a laboratory Norman Osborn had been using to make the green goblin serum, but saw nothing because of green fog that filled the room. Peter got cut on some glass So Cassander talked him into leaving. When they exited Harry had arrived. The next day Cassander discovered Eir spider abilities. That night Cassander snuck out and decided to return To Alchemax alone to try and find the spider. Instead He had his first encounter with a Green goblin. Cassander decided he would forget about his powers and try to live normally. Harry stopped hanging out with Ned and him and Cassander got together. The next Peter looked a little strange and was acting weird.  Throughout the week peter began to act stranger and stranger. Finally one night Cassander realized he was acting like a green goblin and assumed the cut had become infected. Cassander revealed this to Peter, revealing Eir spider powers in the process. Peter wanted to return to Alchemax but Cassander said no. The next day Harry asked Cassander to go out and eat dinner with his Dad (Norman aka green goblin). Harry ended up running out of that dinner cause his dad is a bitch. Little did Cassander know he was going to Alchemax because he had stayed after Cassander and petter had left the other night and discovered his dads lab. Norman asked Cassander to stay in the desert. He reluctantly agreed but things got tense and. Norman started acting strange, violent even, Cassandee ran away in fear accidentally stumbling upon Norman’s green goblin mask. He rushed home to tell Peter but when he got home Peter wasn’t there Cassander knew that he  had gone back to Alchemax. It was too late he had been killed by green goblin, Who Cas did not know was not Norman this time but Harry. Peter's death inspired Cassander to become Spider-Man. As spider man he often worked alongside police captain Gwen Stacy until she was ultimately killed when Cassander couldn’t save her. Norman Osborn as green goblin accidentally killed himself in a fight with spider-man who hid Norman was green goblin for Harry’s sake. Harry believed spiderman had killed him. infected by the goblin serum became mad hunting down spider man. The two ultimately found out each other's identities and it was revealed that Harry killed Peter not Norman. They’re relationship is on an indefinite break, but they haven’t technically broken up, it’s complicated. —————————————————————————

Other Cassander Outfits, I was too lazy to edit the pajamas

—————————————————————————

Harold “Harry” Osborn “Green Goblin”

Unlabeled gender, He/They

—————————————————————————

Peter Parker

Male He/Him

—————————————————————————

DR. Chuwi Quispe Mamani

(This universe’s Dr. Strange)

Agender They/Them

————————————————————Aaron Davis

—————————————————————————

@xen-blank, @thehollowwriter, @l7k-a, @ferris-the-wheel, @keii-starz

@krenenbaker @elenauaurs @the-banana-0verlord @edith-is-a-cat @dove-da-birb

@theosb0rnway @fizzydreamz @ravenwing0110

@diabollicallyangelic @xentari94 @tomatette

@dragonflies-draw-flame @sunshinechildskywalker @silly-little-goober-core

[aoxizu]

i have, completely accidentally, finished all of the currently available wuthering waves main questline

meanwhile i still have not touched the 2.2 plot in star rail but shh i'll get that scene finished eventually and then i can start questing

but anyway. obviously jiyan and jing yuan have many similarities (general, initials jy, ponytail, voiced by sun ye, chinese, once knew a guy with white hair who later became a criminal), but jiyan just doesn't quite get to the same level as jing yuan does (also jing yuan showed up for me twice. jiyan has shown up 0 times.)

this will go into jiyan backstory spoilers kind of if you haven't yet seen that part of the main quest, and also tone warning: i'm going to complain a lot, and i am very biased.

but like. geshu lin did nothing wrong change my mind

it's like if the luofu was fighting phantylia and there was no astral express, jing yuan tells the army to guard the frontline with their life if necessary and then goes off to fight phantylia alone, and then the soldiers all have terrible morale so fu xuan decides to have everyone retreat and then jing yuan becomes a criminal for giving that order and fu xuan becomes the general

except fu xuan at least has some higher position in the leadership structure of the luofu, but jiyan does not. jiyan was literally just some random doctor in the army who said "hey what if we didn't lose our lives like we signed up to do and all ran away instead" and for that he was appointed general through magic dragon

it's like the game is trying to take a "war bad" stance at the same time as glorifying the military so they can sell the general and convince people to pull for him

and then (main story spoilers) when you go fight the not-bloodborne boss in the north wilds (i play in cn so i have no idea what anything is called in english) at the very end of the quest, jiyan pretty much does the same thing as geshu lin

he has his soldiers stay back while he goes to fight the big bad and the only difference is that jiyan takes 3 more people along with him and he also has the power of a prophecy on his side

i get that the game is trying to paint geshu lin as this kind of like war crazed general but like jiyan and geshu lin are in nearly the exact same situation here, making almost the exact same decision

i am being told that jiyan is different from geshu lin in some way but it's really hard to believe that when it looks like they're doing the same things

chinese culture doesn't like to glorify leaders who only focus on war and nothing else (see: han wudi, qin shihuang) (note that mao zedong and the cultural changes he brought do not agree with this attitude) and i suppose that's the reasoning for why geshu lin is a criminal while jiyan is fine since jiyan knows when to retreat or whatever, but i do not think the game does a particularly good job of showing that

this inconsistency may have also had something to do with the amount of changes that jiyan's character went through during development, since his (cn) va was originally sang liuze (ratio/neuvillette) (which i think would have fit jiyan better. personal opinion), and was later changed to sun ye, and his character was also originally just supposed to be a doctor in the army without the sudden becoming general part, so to a lot of cn players it just feels like kuro's trying to coast off of jing yuan's popularity

i don't think that's necessarily true but it is definitely affecting how jiyan is being seen in the chinese community

though i will say that despite the whole ???ness of jiyan's decision making process, the not bloodborne boss fight was really cool, and i really liked exploring that area

hsr on the other hand avoids the problem with trying to say war bad but also trying to sell a military general by simply having jing yuan focus on strategy, and clearly placing more importance on outsmarting the enemy rather than throwing people and resources at the enemy until it dies

but anyway. i'm still going to try and get jiyan, since i kind of like his playstyle despite it being burst based, though havoc rover does look cool enough for me to seriously consider using them for as long as possible

right now the game is in the weird place of being so new that i can't take a lot of it seriously, since it's still finding its place in the massive 2d-adjacent mobile game environment, but i'm sure it will either a) grow on me or b) become genshin, where i am a "day one player" but barely touch the game

or a secret third option, where it displaces my star rail addiction to plant a wuthering waves addiction, but i find that unlikely since i don't tend to like open world games as much

i'm excited to see where wuthering waves goes and if it can finally provide a challenge to the behemoth that is genshin

you know what the actual problem i have with wuthering waves is? when i take a picture with the in game camera and hit save it doesn't actually save. so i'm restricted to screenshots for the time being

[24hlevi]

i haven’t yet read the aib manga, what is chishiya like in the manga? is he different to the show

ok so here's the thing, there isn't a very big difference in how chishiya is portrayed in the show vs the manga, it's more or less just how he is written and the differences in how haro aso writes vs the writers of the show

note for manga spoilers ahead

in the show and manga chishiya could be labeled as a morally gray character which means a character whose behavior discourages readers from labeling them as purely good or purely evil. this is evident near the end of s1 when chishiya throws arisu under the bus so he can get ahold of the cards only to talk to arisu normal after like nothing happened, where some people call him a bad person for it while others say he did what he had to

the only major difference imo was the backstory change from the manga to s2. in the show chishiya is apparently an actual doctor when in the manga he is still a med student and he is constantly being told that transplants are going to "more important" people instead of regular people. while this part is relatively similar, it's the way chishiya reacts that's different. in the manga which wasn't shown in the show, chishiya had no connection with his father who was always working or not paying attention to him, and he was pressured into becoming a med student by his father's ideals, so when he is told that a man is going to die and the man gives him a note to hand to his family, chishiya tosses it in the trash. this is because he doesn't know the value of other's lives simply because he is empty inside.

chishiya isn't completely emotionless, he does have comedic moments in the manga like using a singing song voice when speaking on certain topics with a small smirk on his face. in the show i believe they just decided to write him out differently for more audience appeal in my personal opinion 🤷‍♂️. even with his interaction with kuina after the first appearance of the king of spades in s2 ep 1, in the manga kuina wants nothing to do with him after what he did which is incredibly valid because he was an asshole about it whereas in the show they pretend like nothing happened i guess.

i believe haro aso made chishiya as the one character that is deemed morally gray but can still be likable by how he acts. i don't think show chishiya is bad or worse than manga chishiya i love them both but personally i prefer how haro aso wrote chishiya rather than the show writers. even a key part in what chishiya says during the battle royale with niragi and arisu after he's been shot saving usagi, he says "it's like i existed just to show how empty a human can be" meaning he does acknowledge this, and he does try to change for the better. the show kept that line out for some reason and it irked me a little bit because it's a very big important thing for him to say this and acknowledge how he was acting and want to change when they return to the normal world.

again, i don't hate show chishiya in any way. i love murakami nijiro's performance as chishiya i think he did great! i just personally prefer how haro aso wrote him rather than the writers of the show is all!

[carveredlunds]

you know when “gotham” wrote the character of kristen kringle, played by chelsea spack, a character who had been the victim of both workplace sexual harassment by her colleague edward, and domestic abuse by her boyfriend tom? then edward killed tom and then started dating kristen, and then murdered her when he told her he’d killed tom and she was rightfully terrified and tried to run out of his apartment. then edward chopped her body into pieces and buried her in a suitcase in an unmarked grave in the woods (after hiding her dismembered hand in a vending machine). and then they recast chelsea spack to play isabella no-canonical-last-name, who showed up out of the blue a season later and gave edward a riddle where the answer was “time” for no discernible reason at all. and isabella had a blatantly obvious wig, no backstory, and an unexplained obsession with edward. and chelsea spack played isabella with a weird glazed-over look in her eyes, and she looked angry or impatient when other characters weren’t looking at her, and she said she “felt like she’d known edward her whole life” and she dressed up as kristen kringle and was apparently fine with edward being a murderer. and she said she was in love with edward after one date, and that she wanted a love story like “romeo and juliet or othello and desdemona”, where both the lovers die. and she was introduced in the same season as a literal clone was added to the show’s canon, and her wig hair was identical to that of a big bad of that season for literally no reason at all, a big bad who was the head of a shadowy organisation and who worked with the lead doctor of a freaky science lab (another big bad of that season) where said clone was built. but rather than making isabella a clone, or following up on any of the acting choices chelsea spack made, or doing anything with the character at all, the writers instead had isabella die in a train crash which she herself had remarkably little reaction to, and which was played for laughs. then she was mentioned a couple of times by other characters (the running gag being that nobody remembered her name) before nobody mentioned her again. and that happened and we were all expected to move on and forget about it.

[kikiwiwiz]

Anyways my swap au since i don't think ill color for a few days from now.

Please don't judge me im just a boy

Alright so basically this is not an entirely swap au where i swap everyone to the t and its also kinda a way for me to entertain my rarepair (meikane) so if anything doesn't make sense just pleaaase leave it at that

So Mei is still sick, she usually doesn't believe in supernaturals and such but since she is told by doctors and other staff that she will die soon, her belief in them strenghtens and she summons Hanako-kun (who is Akane in this au) (Tsukasa is Aoi if you're wondering where she went)

But unlike Nene who wished for love, Mei's main wish comes from a kind if desperation for art. She aches to finish one last painting before the pass onto the next life, it doesn't even need to be a perfect painting hung up on a wall she just wants one that will get the job done, show that she was infact an artist who fought until the very last breath.

İn this au, contrary to the original Akane n Teru met before Mei and Akane. So Teru butts in into their conversation rather casually, just zapping Akane and hearing out Mei's wishes, he quite likes how she isn't materialistic and cares about her creations so he doesn't just drag Akane away

They once again uncorrupt the mokke then Akane's feelings slowly starts to bloom, he goes to Kako who is Tsuchigomori in this au and explaine the situation of his cause and just gushes all over about how much he loves Mei

Kako is Akane's art teacher and Mirai is the doll he made to show anatomy to his students, neat!

Kako just listens to his rant and is happy that he found someone to count on besides Teru and is also glad about the fact he isn't compleaning about everything that doesn't go his way

The three of them go to the mid year festival and Mei gets sent to the past Nene style she just hangs out with Baby Akane and Baby Aoi and wonders who she is since she never heard of her before... weird... But when shes back to the regular world they all hang out and everything is fine YAAAY!!

the middle part doesn't exist because im lazy so anyways AOİ AND AKANE BACKSTORY!!!

Aoi and Akane live in the same houses and the places they used to, the hole is located in Akane's house and Aoi sacrifices mainly bugs to make Akane's small wishes come true

Then Akane comes down with the sickness and Aoi tries to offer the hole more things

Animals, bigger bugs, reptiles, anything she can get her hands on really

But she doesn't really mention any wishes to Akane, she just assumes things and makes them come true for him. But they aren't enough.

Aoi starts to sacrifice the tiny flowers that began to bloom in her garden in a last ditch effort to make Akane's pain go away but to no avail, Akane is still sick and Aoi has run out of options.

She finally asks Akane what he wants more than anything in the world and Akane responds pretty plainly, how he wants to see some places, make a friend or two, maybe getting married, graduating college, owning a cool car and all

So Aoi goes back to the hole and instead of with her usual sacrifices she sacrifices herself, happy to see Akane being all better next day

Akane can tell something is off so his obsession with Aoi never gets as much as it is in the manga, even him killing her was mainly because Akane knew something was off but not what and Aoi hasn't told him despite them being close

So anyways the severance happens.

Akane tells Mei just before it happens that it will happen and that she will forget him and other supernatural friends she made along the way, obviously she tells him to just stop messing with her head and just say the truth and Akane confirms that it is the truth, just before fading away from her grasp, never to be seen again.

Teru still tries to find him, though. Since he doesn't know what happened to Akane he tries to pick up clues where he might be, he checks every corner that they used to meet up and calls out his name constantly, a flicker of hope that he will come back to him.

But he never answers back.

He finally goes to Mei for help and they search around together, it ending in the Minamoto household where they beg Kou for answers instead, Kou says he doesn't know either and that Amane and him will investigate further (Amane is the clock keeper in this au) since his powers went away as well.

When they are up in Teru's room, Mei mummbles something about how she never really thought Akane would be gone for this long when he said he would be gone and Teru obviously gets confused and asks about when he mentioned such a thing so Mei just says "yknow.. the day before" she says meekly, not getting the hint and in that moment cold water gets poured down Teru's shoulders.

Not offended (definitely offended) but upset that Akane didn't tell HİM, his friend of almost two years about him suddenly disappearing but just some girl who summoned him when? A few months ago?! İts almost like he doesn't even give a fuck about him.

Lateron Amane and Kou ask them to come down stairs and explain how they need a piece of a supernatural to go to the far shore, and since there aren't any regular supernaturals left they need to go to the place where the line with the far shore and early shore are the thinest, which is where Akane's family uses

Teru says he will go there if he must and Amane just goes "okay!!!!! İll just take your brother on a date then" and then they just do the whole day off thing but without the visiting the old man part, so Teru goes to the farshore alone to relieve some stess off his bones and the anger he has on Akane

He obtains the supernatural part quite fast but theres a voice in him that urges him to go deeper in the house and find something that has been missing in his life. So he does so since he has nothing better to do, his steps are quite fast as he just wants to get over with it.

He opens the doors but theres little to nothing behind them, maybe a portrait of his family with his mom or just hid big brother's sword falling down on his feet, he doesn't really know what any of those mean and keeps walking in and out of doors he finds, then a pair of hands cover his eyes and turns him around, his eyes widen to see Akane

Akane immediately greets him with a big bright smile and talks about how they need to catch the buss to the school, how their first class is with mr Kako so they don't want to miss it and overall about daily life, from his looks too he seems to be a regular middle school student without worries or fears, so he just follows Akane, barely noticing he went through another door, then he realizes that Akane is still a supernatural, the thing on the back of his neck still visible and he goes to scratch his, noticing that theres a paper on there. He goes up to a mirror and checks it out, realizing he has become Akane's yorishiro.

Akane apologizes as he holds his cheeks, how after everything that happened the thing that he regrets most is that he havent told anyone about his disappearance, how he is sooo happy to see him again, how much he missed him but in that moment Teru finally sees through the facade, slapping him off and pinning him to the ground, staring down at a rather confused Akane who stares right back into his soul, making it hard for Teru to just eliminate the problem. So he just.. doesn't, he runs out the door with a hurry, leaving his trident behind as a result.

But the moment he goes through the door he is in their home, specifically their doorstep, he is dressed in clothes Kou used to wear when dad would take him for his training and when he looks up, he notices the similarities, a blade similar to Kou's in his hand, looking up at his father seemingly taking him out to a mission. But he snaps out of that one quicker, throwing himself out of the door he came through. He experiences much weirder and more detailed scenarios as he goes through the countless doors, sooner or later realizing those are the desires he had since he was a little boy

But the time he is spent and exhausted he finally sees a closed door, he goes to open it but instead is met with Aoi, who holds a jar full of bugs, staring up at him with her beady eyes. She runs past him and Teru follows behind her, watching the backstory of the Aois unfold.

He sees his trident at the garden of the house once he gets out but he does make a decision, he won't become the exorcist he aspired to be, at least for Akane, someone he cares so deeply about using the power of the unknown to cling to life.

He goes back home with the supernatural, he is there early, then met with Amane, Kou and Mei

He doesn't preapere the supernatural since he wants to face Akane on his own and teach him a lesson or two about how to treat his friends, but Kou does it for him instead so the four of them go to the house Kou has seen all those things to.

Teru goes in head first then Amane and Kou then lastly, Mei. Meanwhile that, Yashiro and Akane are having a conversation about how they lived their lives, how much they enjoyed it and things they would change if they could, once silent sinks in Nene asks Akane about Teru and what he thinks of him, if he regrets ever meeting him.

Akane sighs and says that his only regret about Teru is that he hasn't told him when he was leaving, because he did promised him he would be there for Teru's whole time in that school

But just about he is about to finish his sentence, the train stops and everybody obviously begins to panic, Akane clings to Nene and tries to find a safe way out, and all of a sudden red beads cover his and Nene's body, surprised he floats off the ground with Nene and flies out of the window with the beads, eyes meeting Teru's, colder than usual without the stupid smile he grew used to

Akane asks a lot of questions, how he came here, doesn't he knows how dangerous it is out there?! What the hell is wrong with his head?! Does he have a death wish?! As he approached Teru more and more he feels his body pinned to the ground, punch after punch meet his face as he tries to tell Teru to stop, once he feels tears on his face is when it all stops and he looks up at Teru, his eyes filled to the brim with tears, the first time of him seeing him like that so he obviously just stops protecting himself and try to think of a way to comfort his friend.

Teru grabs onto Akane's shirt to yell at him but before he could continue Kou and Amane separate them, Mei rushing to Akane crying and hugging him, but Akane's eyes stay on Teru, his tears soaked back into their place as he just pushes Kou off, saying he's fine as it is.

On the way back home, Akane asks Teru of why he cares so much and apologizes for being a bit too mean back there, Teru is silent through it all, telling him to forget it so Akane jokingly says that if he is the only person who can make him cry, then he must be the most important person in his life.

Teru stays silent but just muttering out a maybe before extending his hand from the back, Akane takes it, sighing. Maybe he should just shut his mouth

The roles switched:

Mei: Nene

Hanako: Akane

Kou: Teru

Aoi: Tsukasa

Nene: Aoi(sunflower trio n toilet trio swap basically)

(Tsukasa is his own additional charachter)

Sakura: Hakubo

Sumire: Natsuhiko

Kako: Tsuchigomori

Mirai: Yako

Shijima: Mitsuba

Mei: Sousuke

Additional commentary:

Amane isn't obsessed with Nene the way Akane is obsessed with Aoi, he actually has a crush on both Kou n Nene

Kou's crush on Nene is much more vibrant and obvious like in the original story but Teru doesn't feel anything but platonic love for Mei

Akane is reffered to as 'Hanako' but Kako n Aoi call him Akane n Teru calls him Aoi

Mitsuba is much more possessive in the au which makes their work a lot more harder since Aoi purely manipulated him for her own desires which is for Akane to only think of her.

Mitsuba's picture perfect world isn't drawings but rather the pictures he took as he was alive so in the picture perfect arc we also learn about Mitsuba's backstory and his certain life decisions.

Mirai was never alive in this au, after being created by Kako her only purpose was to be a helpful guide on simplistic anatomy, lateron gaining the life for being Kako's yorishiro

Natsuhiko was never a sacrifice but rather an annoying lowerrank supernatural who wouldn't leave Sakura alone eventually after feelings are shared, and Natsuhiko gets exorcised he reborns as her yorishiro

The yorishiro of Kako is Mirai and Mirai's yorishiro is the last screw of her doll body.

The clockeepers' yorishiro is the boundary itself

Akane's yorishiro is Aoi

Mitsuba's yorishiro is his camera

Tsuchigomori and Hanako are still extremely close and Kou isn't as violent as Teru is so Amane of this au is much more aware of his powers and isn't afraid to use them (stopping time at any point of the day, it being 40 minutes with a 15 minute cooldown, his hammer being usefull outside of the boundary, certain levels of time manipulation etc)

Also in this au Sousuke tries to kill Mitsuba rather than the other way around because he hates that he makes a world where everyone is happy without him

İ don't plan on writing this until next year so meh might as well dump small portion of it here, right?

[tillyonjoy]

💊Backstory

Tilly grew up with her parents and her sister on a smaller island that is now part of the garden district. As a young girl, Tilly's middle-class parents doted on her endlessly, determined to give her a life better than their own. They worked hard to prepare her and her sister for a brighter future, hoping she would marry a wealthy man who could elevate their family's social standing. Rather than letting their coddling spoil her, these experiences led Tilly down a path of empathy and natural trust towards others.

When Tilly was younger, she fell for a man around her age named Peter Wyndham, whom she had met at a social gathering orchestrated by her mother. At the time, he was training to become a military medic and she had just finished her schooling; further apprenticing as a seamstress via a friend of her father's, who worked in the textile industry. 

While not exactly the aristocrat her parents had hoped for, her parents overall approved of their relationship– most likely due to his noble last name, regardless of his debatable affiliation. They were married by the next year. She soon found her new life to be very isolating and suffocating. Tilly was so closed off from the outside world that when her parents died during a German bombing, the only person who told her was her husband. Tilly was expecting twins at this time, and the abrupt death of her parents gave her the names she was looking for to name her kids: Winifred and Chester. 

When the Very Bad Thing occured, Winnie and Chester were under 13, and Tilly was forced to give them up. The 6 years between that incident and the introduction of Joy to the population was pure chaos for her. She kept her head down, and brought back her old skills as a seamstress to make ends meet while her husband worked on transitioning his career from military man to doctor.

Tilly's older sister, Joan Bright, her brother-in-law, Pv. Jonathan Bright, and two nephews, Nathaniel and Benson; mysteriously vanished a few months before the beginning of the Very Bad Thing. This is another memory she often tries to avoid thinking about, as Tilly and Joan were once quite close as kids.

When Joy was still being perfected, Tilly was one of the first test subjects to use it. After working as a freelance seamstress for a scientist of Haworth Labs, Tilly was informed of the trial runs for the drug, and was quick to volunteer. It only took one pill for her to realize this was exactly what she was missing in life. Joy effectively hid the loneliness and despair Tilly held away from herself. 

At first, Tilly's husband couldn't have been happier. Not only was he relieved of tending to her emotional needs, but as a doctor seeking employment, her volunteer work had secured him a position at Haworth Labs. He'd only regret this once Tilly started her “tea parties.”

Following encouragement given by the scientists of Haworth Labs shortly after Joy was officially released for public consumption, Tilly held tea parties in which the use of Joy was encouraged and served on platters alongside lovely cakes and cookies she baked herself. She was one of the many early Joy adopters who normalized its frequent use for others. 

After being lonely in her marriage for so long, Tilly found herself surrounded by people just like her. She still hosts these Joy tea parties to this day. She pretends not to notice her dwindling guests. She pretends not to notice the sawdust she now has to cut the flour for her cookies with. She pretends not to notice her husband's increasing emotional distance. She pretends not to notice an awful lot of things, including her own deepening ennui.

When life annoys, pop a joy! 💊

[kaytaygay]

Here’s a quicker version of himikos backstory like I promised

Himikos birth name was Akatani Shinamoru which yes again is the same as another oc but that’s why she changed her name later on

When Himiko was born her parents hated her and abused her

Then when she was five she was diagnosed as quirkless

After that her parents became more abusive

The only light in her life was her friend, Jun Hano

Her and Jun planned to run away together on her half birthday and start their life anew

They were gonna rename themselves as Mei and Tei

But the night before her fifth and a half birthday himikos parents brought someone over to the house

That someone referred to himself as the doctor

Then the doctor killed her parent’s, lit her house on fire, and kidnapped her

She was experimented on for a year and a half

Throughout that year her hair turned white

Her right eye glowed a brighter blue

And her left eye turned white

She also gained three quirks, a teleportation quirk, a regeneration quirk, and an intelligence quirk

Roughly six months into her being stuck with the doctor he stopped the experimentation and started training her

She was taught taekwondo karate and jieitaikakutōjutsu then formed her own fighting style from what she learned

After the year and a half she escaped but ended up being kidnapped again by someone else

This someone else name was Jin Takahashi

Jin ran a fighting ring where villains could fight with each other either with or without quirks

But Jin would also kidnap people and force them into fights to the death

Jin ended up putting Himiko into this fighting ring and she was forced to fight to the death with both adults and kids alike

She was stuck there for three years from age seven to ten and a half

Throughout those three years she was fighting almost every day

She had been forced into so many fights to the death that she had been forced to kill 685 people

But eventually heroes and police found out about this fighting ring and took it down arresting dozens of villains and Jin

But after three years of Himiko being made to fight Jin had constantly told her that if she tried to run she would simply be arrested for killing so many people

So she ran. Himiko then tried to turn her life around by changing her name and calling herself Mei Himiko

She went to the library often and taught herself everything she missed out on learning and more

She learned over ten languages, two types of sign language, and up to college level math, reading, writing, science, history, and more.

After six months of constant study along with hacking into police files to make it seem as though Mei Himiko had always existed and was just another eleven year old who was homeschooled

But also at eleven she decided to try and use her fighting capabilities for good rather than evil and she became the vigilante known as shadow

But eventually after three years she allowed herself to be caught and ended up in a vigilante reform program, she was also adopted by either aizawa or another oc of mine name Rena Itsika

She was also enrolled into class 1a of the UA hero course and is now training to become a hero!

Yay you all finally have her backstory though tbh it’s ever changing

Also here’s five fun facts about my au!

1: both Shinsou and kaminari are adopted by aizawa and were actually rescued from their bio parents by shadow and aizawa!

2: Nezu has an adopted child who’s name is Ichiro Aikawa and they go by they/them pronouns, they weren’t rescued by shadow tho

3: I ship erasermic so they are married!

4: due to me reading a lot of fanfics I have come to love midnight so she is a bit more child friendly in this au and her outfit looks like that because of her quirk coming out of her skin! She also totally a mom friend and is super sweet

5: I hate m!neta so instead of him being in class A we have Shinsou!

And that’s all the fun facts I have! Hope you have a lovely day, and my phone is on six percent so I gotta go plug it in! Bye!

[fleetsparrow]

So, after seeing a post that mentioned how doctors will literally let patients die rather than treat them for other health problems while fat, I remembered I wanted to talk about this.

I have been trying to get top surgery for the past... 5 years? At least? In my area, there's only one doctor who does all the top surgeries for my insurance. For this entire time, I have been told that I must lose weight before I can get this done.

~~Backstory time~~

In late 2016, my bipolar developed psychotic symptoms (auditory hallucinations being the strongest). I was put on aripiprazole and stayed on it until about August of this year.

During the last part of 2016 through 2017, I went from about 135 pounds to 220 within months. Not a single doctor connected it to my new medication. Every one of them said it was my "eating habits" (I have struggled with disordered eating for years, even before this, but especially after) or my lack of activity. During this time, my fibro pain increased tremendously, though we finally did get it controlled. I could not walk without a cane for years. When we went to comic conventions, I had to use travel chairs or wheelchairs because walking for that long would cause severe pain. I couldn't walk from my bedroom down the hall to the living room without my hips seizing up.

But I was fat. So, you know, this was all my fault. 😑

(Note: I'm 5'1". I've always been on the small side of fat, and I recognize this. These are just my personal experiences.)

With a medication, I got most of my fibro pain under control. Between 2021 through now, I ended up at a very physically active job. My weight has been stable for years, but still "too high."

~~End backstory~~

In August, I changed anti-psychotics. Within two weeks, I lost about 4 pounds. This past Wednesday, I went for a weigh-in for my surgery, and I'm down to 198. The nurse congratulated me for this and said she'll let the doctor know so we can set the surgery date. My mom congratulated me for losing weight. My dad even is happy about this (I say "even" because we don't really talk if I can help it.)

The thing is, I have done nothing to lose weight. The only thing that changed is a medication.

I am livid. I am seething.

My mom is angry because not a single doctor listened to me when I said that I was gaining weight too quickly without anything changing. I guess I'm a bit miffed about that, but I'm used to not being listened to by doctors.

What I'm most upset about is the way people, including doctors, have treated me because I'm fat.

I have done so much self work on unlearning anti-fatness. I have advocated for myself, I have tried educating people, I have done my best to be as good to myself as I can, because I know nobody else will.

I am currently the fattest person in my office, and have been for years now. I'm also the only one who doesn't allow diet talk around me. I am exhausted.

I also still struggle with disordered eating all the time. I love food. I think food is a true joy and should be a joy for everyone. Yet, I still feel "guilty" for eating at all. I constantly deny myself food that I need to eat because I haven't "earned" it.

But every doctor thinks I overeat. Every nutritionist tells me to eat half of what little I already eat. Every single person explicitly or implicitly tells me I'm doing something wrong because I'm fat.

I am furious. I am tired of diminishing. I do not want to lose weight, yet I now am.

But everyone else? They're so proud of me.

I'm under 200 pounds, a weight I haven't seen in nearly 10 years.

I'm so tired.

I'm so stressed.

But most of all, I'm angry.

[ichorblossoms]

(ur replies r also off tho that might be by choice idk) i picked so many so feel free to pick and choose which ones u wanna do but: grimm and yarrow with 3-9, 22-26, 30, 31, 36, 40, 43 + A-C for you about them!

THANK you for pointing that out, they're on now! and also THANK you for these i am >>>:D some of these questions have activated my infodumping bc i have a lot of Thoughts and Words ehehe

How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

yarrow: he'll usually wind down beforehand with a book and a cigarette (only allows himself three a day), but the exhaustion of being the only doctor in town and not really having days off puts him to sleep pretty quickly

grimm: i don't think it actually has much of a routine, but it does have to check that wrench (robot coyote companion) is alert to watch it's back while it sleeps

How easy is it to earn their trust?/How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

both answered here!

Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

yarrow: flexible, has seen firsthand how people in power can bend laws around them and get away with horrible shit other people can't

grimm: doesn't give a shit about them either way

What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

yarrow: tbh i need to think more abt yarrow's past bc they don't have any Tragic Backstory like grimm does. while they don't actually miss living in the large city like they did in the very beginning of the story, occasionally they'll get lucky and find one of their old favorite snacks from when they were in school, and how it reminds them of days spent cramming for exams. the memories are fond, but they don't miss it

grimm: seeing traveling caravans of performers come through town makes them ache for the family they used to have. until the age of ~13 or so they performed in a traveling band playing the violin/fiddle, but an accident left them and a few kids as the only survivors so it's all very bittersweet. yarrow found them a violin they'll occasionally pick up

What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?

i haven't thought enough abt the specifics of grimm and yarrow's childhoods to have a clear answer but i can tell you they often have to tell their adopted child lucy to stop eating the bugs she finds (she's an eight-year-old ringtail humod so she has a typical child impulse control alongside an instinctual drive to eat bugs hdgklhf. she'll be fine)

Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?

they absolutely both swear, yarrow more than grimm just by sheer volume of Talking More. i don't think either would remember their first one

Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom?  

yarrow: being a doctor and all that, yarrow's definitely comfortable talking abt sex in the clinical sense to their patients. when it comes to personal matters it's. he has some issues. not trauma or anything so much as the mortifying ordeal of asking someone to do something for his own sake (he's got a sort of complex about doing enough to be "worthy" of things like asking) in addition to just like, having mediocre sexual experiences with other people (not fully bc of the prior point bu that doesn't help). he'd much rather just do the fucking, make his partner feel good, and call it a day without worrying about his own wants

grimm: yes and no. it's much easier to talk about things as a faceless one night stand who won't take all their clothes off than it is to talk to the only person who actually knows you, and they're very interested in you and that terrifies you because you want that too but oh my god what if you destroy things because you're nothing but an animal but oh god you also want this so bad

they both do in fact get over their respective issues with the help of the other (grimm's persistent devotion making yarrow realize "oh it wants this too" and yarrow's near-infinite tenderness and fascination making grimm realize it's not repulsive) and have fucknasty gay sex with one another but it's An Ordeal for both of them to get there bc sex involves vulnerability and they're both people who have had to close off parts of themselves for their own protection! makes me insane to think about tbh

What are their thoughts on marriage?  

yarrow: wants to get married! thought about it more in their late teens~ early 20s but by the time grimm comes back around when they're ~27 it's more of a "eh, it'll maybe happen" sort of thing. after everything he and grimm have been through in the story he's defs going to marry her there's no questions there

grimm: didn't have any thoughts really, after escaping the shitshow that was most of their teenage years (still working out the details of that) it was like "i'm never getting married, never attaching myself to any person i am wandering the world By Myself." yarrow changes the game a little bit but it's still not on their mind until years later when yarrow slugs someone bent on attacking them and shouts "don't fucking touch my WIFE" and suddenly grimm's like wife????? wife??????? 🥺👀💖😳💖👀💖💖

What is their preferred mode of transportation? 

yarrow: generally walks everywhere, will and does ride a horse for longer distances

grimm: their beloved carnivorous horse. the beast doesn't have a name yet but here's a drawing from a comic that's in the works (she's actually sweet but has an occasional attitude)

Who do they most regret meeting?  

yarrow: actually dunno for them, but i imagine of all the of the ceo scum type people they meet in the last part of the story, a few of them are particularly nasty

grimm: again, ironing out details of their past but tbh i'm not as concerned with the details of backstory so much as how this affects who they currently are, but they basically grew up as this one girl's guard dog for several years after they lost their family. treated enough like a person to fall in love with her, treated enough like an animal to feel like a tool instead of a human being. not exactly someone they had much control over meeting, but fucked them up irreversibly nonetheless

Who are they the most glad to have met? 

yarrow: grimm ofc. they were a handsome stranger who all but rescued him from a soul-sucking job in the city and whisked him away to the middle of the desert. did grimm piss them off after leaving them for five years? absolutely. but grimm also came back, which threw yarrow through a loop bc he had all but accepted he wasn't really important in anyone's life as anything but a doctor

grimm: yarrow, naturally. he showed them kindness when they didn't think it existed and saved their life on more than a few occasions. if grimm gets hurt, yarrow will be there to patch it up

Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap? 

yarrow: doesn't quite seek it out but is inclined to pursue it if there's a mutual thing going on. actually did date a guy in the five years that grimm had fucked off

grimm: it actively avoids romance lol, but before it and yarrow were actually a thing it'd seek out the occasional one night stand

If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so? 

this question is deceptively tricky bc to me they're both nonbinary bisexuals, but honeybee's world is like, various pockets of civilization (mostly what are essentially company towns) in the desert, so i think use and knowledge of labels is prominent in more metropolitan areas and ppl in more rural/isolated settings have either their separate terms or just don't describe themselves in the same way? idk how much i'll actually like, think this out and construct in-universe description bc it's not as interesting as the characters. also any attempts to explain this further have just end up in me typing out three sentences of sociopolitical worldbuidling mush that's decreasingly relevant to the characters hdklgfhdf none of this is also to mention any complexities that come with human-animal hybrid shit ANYWAYS

yarrow: bisexual, also transmasculine nonbinary IF they're talking to someone who is familiar with those words (he grew up in one of the metropolitan areas). if talking to someone who's not he'll call himself a guy, use he/him pronouns, and say he "swings both ways". they'll maybe elaborate on being "mostly a man but not quite" and that they also use they/them pronouns if they think that person will Get It. also considers himself stone* and is some flavor of ace but never feels the need to mention it to anyone but romantic/sexual partners

*ace trans guy who's never been on the receiving end of anything other than mediocre sex with cis ppl: y'know i think this only does anything for me if i'm doing the fucking

grimm: will shrug or say "none of your business" if asked, but will say it uses they/it pronouns if pronouns specifically are asked about (otherwise will just let themself be called whatever). describes themself to yarrow as "kind of a woman but not really" and only yarrow gets to use the bonus she/her pronouns for grimm. (functionally bisexual and transfem(ish) nonbinary, but labels don't hold the same meaning to them bc social differences, so they don't rly use em yadda yadda)

OKAY now it's time for me hehehe

Why are you excited about this character?

i answered this but i want to talk about them more hehe

a basically am always a sucker for human-animal/monster hybrids, or characters who are otherwise not entirely human. it is my SO my shit and has always been my shit. i think i get some of the best of both worlds with these two: grimm gets the angst of "i'm not human" and yarrow gets the fun of "of fuck yes i'm not fully human". also with these guys (and other humods in this universe) they aren't inhuman in any supernatural sense, so i'm not considering how things like powers factor into things (which can be fun ofc), but rather like, in what ways are these characters human, in what ways do they have animal insticts/mannerisms and it's all somewhat grounded in reality and Real Animals so i get to look up animal stuff about desert animals so i'm :)

yarrow's also my first time of having any sort of bugmonster shit going on so it's been a fun divergence from my usual dragony monster tendencies. grimm's part coyote and you know me and my love for Coyote And Dog Imagery and whatnot so it's mostly an excuse to play with that more and i'm having a LOT of fun

What inspired you to create them?

okay there's actually two solid inspirations here but with what honeybee's become i feel like it's so far from either of them in my brain that it's like. those were the catalyst but honeybee's its own thing now, yknow?

anyways my public library has the first few volumes of the no. 6 manga and i picked it up on a whim in...march? bc i heard good things about it back in like, high school. anyways i was actually very pleasantly surprised by the depth of the characters? definitely like "i would have hyperfixated on this media if i had found it in high school but i'm 23 now and stories with teenage protags aren't my jam" anyways the dynamic between nezumi and shion, especially in regards to this idea of someone from a very cruel world meeting someone who is openly kind and not knowing how to deal with that was super intriguing. then the thought "what if shion got transformed into a bee monster lol" crossed my mind and within an hour i had the initial quick sketches for grimm and yarrow AND several plot ideas. legit the fastest my brain has ever connected the dots to make a semi-coherent story. insane really

the cowboy/western setting was frankly overdue for me, but i had also just finished trigun at the time so i was like "fuck it, we'll make it sci-fi ish too, that explains the human hybrids" trigun's semi-western sci-fi deal continues to be something my brain returns to for aesthetics in the story but also like, i live in the desert, i can do this myself

if you combined how much i cared about no. 6 and trigun it would be like, a fraction of the brainrot honeybee as its own thing has given me. truly magical

Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

not really, surprisingly (or not yet, i should say lol). i think bc no. 6 was such a prominent inspiration for this story in its early stages, i approached honeybee like "how would i change this story (no. 6) and the characters to be more interesting to me specifically" early on so i always had an idea for the General Arc of the plot (or plots, it's three main parts in my brain) and how grimm and yarrow responded to them? now that i've figured out where i want to take the story (for the most part) i don't have to fall back on the scaffolding of another story to decide what my characters are doing or how they fit. now it's a matter of actually writing shit and conveying the proper Vibes

[lotus-mirage]

Trigun Stampede episode 8 liveblog!

I've been told that this likely has Vash backstory, so. Expecting trauma and probably explosions. :))

Yep flashback time

... a year since what, exactly? Like. Since they've been in her care, or are they like a year old at this point.

Wait why would Vash need to eat if Knives doesn't? That's interesting.

That was a little unnerving how fast Knives went from a monotone disinterest to outright giggles. (To be fair I also have a tendency for monotone and laughing at the drop of a hat, but going from emotion to emotion so fast caught me off guard).

It is really interesting that Knives does seem genuinely attached to Rem to some capacity. If memory serves me, he was the one to ask her to get into the escape pod with them, but also he turned around and started denying affection for her like the next scene? I wonder what's happening there, like if he's being honest in that last scene or justifying things to himself.

Huh. That escape pod doesn't really look like the reused spaceship parts we saw on the ship. Different time periods, assumedly? I guess it is a possibility that Vash has been on the planet since the initial colonization, but that seems unlikely.

Actually what is with the meteor-shower-looking happenings here? It doesn't look like they're all from the same destroyed spaceship, so maybe it's just a natural event coinciding.

Huh. The people in the pods had different hair colors, I think. Maybe regular humans rather than Plants, then? That would make more sense as to why Knives is letting them burn.

Actually now that we're seeing this scene again, Knives kind of just sidesteps the accusation that he killed Rem, rather than saying anything about it. Oops.

Gate? Dream sequence? ...Imaginings?

Oh people! Okay that means that the planet had already been colonized. Did they not see his markings or...?

Oop, no they do. Wait, huh, they're wearing very similar clothing. Okay maybe further back in the timeline than I thought.

And they have lost tech just on hand.

asdhfkl the ">>TOP SECRET<<" banner on the display

On topic, though. Plants giving birth. Okay that's new information I didn't know about. We haven't really seen plants having much mobility when they're... mostly in ball form and isolated. Do they reproduce asexually? I guess that's different from cloning process-wise, but wouldn't it still give the same results on a genetic level (epigenetics aside)? Also if they're 'independents', is that referring to them being created without cloning, or something further, I wonder?

Oh they're also referring to people as Sinners! ...that's weird. Prison colony, or more weird religious stuff?

"molecular plant studies" okay but like. Why do they need experts on a molecular level? Wouldn't like doctor, vet, or even like biologist (botanist?) level be more helpful?

Oh these people still have access to ships! Alright. That they're in contact with both them and the "Sinners" is interesting. I'd assumed the "Sinners" were the stranded population, but maybe not?

I think it's really entertaining that everything else is so high-tech except this guy is holding a normal-looking wrench. I guess they've been refined to peak performance already lol.

"he's just a kid" - weird that she's not trying to like. dehumanize him. I'd assume they'd really want to discourage the idea that plants are sapient, given the conditions that we've seen them kept under.

"activated their gravity plant" okay there's a lot being implied here lore wise but I don't think I really can say anything about that so just. moving on.

They have different generator specialties? That's interesting. ...It didn't seem to be the case for the other plants we've seen in present-day, though? It looked like they're doing at least water purification and energy production.

I assume the Gate is what Vash produces? I mean we don't really know how it functions, but it seemed to be implied that it was exclusive to him.

They found the black box! Uh oh.

Wait! Okay Brad(?) has got a nameplate on that says "Seeds." Related to Plant stuff, or planet colonization, I wonder?

Are the tally marks meant to look like crosses? With this show I honestly can't tell lmao.

Oh man that's a lot of plants. Do they each have their own thing? They keep mentioning their functions as singular (ex. the gravity plant, the electricity plant).

Are the red/previously assumed to be dying/damaged plants just in the process of... whatever this is? Hatching? Blooming?

Okay frankly I'm a little confused as why this Brad(?) keeps denying Luida so much? I thought she was his commanding officer??

In the middle of one of the sand seas, huh? I guess that might be why they haven't seen any outside people? <- still not sure about the timeline

...why is Brad(?) looking around and gasping. did he not notice the tally marks before somehow?

So like. What is the deal with the way plants are viewed? I'd assume they'd be thought of more as tools/animals/actual plants, but reactions appear to be ranged from nothing to distrust to fear/hatred?

With the time jump to teen(?) Vash, I'm starting to think maybe this is the point where humans came to the planet first.

Yeah this is not gonna end well. This entire sequence is just flag after flag omg

Man, I thought the last episode had a late title display.

So like what was Vash communicating with the plants? It doesn't really seem like their situations are improving, other than the fact that they have a conversation partner/outlet?

Oh, he left the jacket. ...well there goes any hope of them getting off the planet or out of this situation alive, frankly.

oh! the flashback is cut short. I was fully expecting to see the whole story, but I guess it is getting to the end of the episode. Trauma delayed! Possibly just until the next episode, though.

Or wait no nevermind this is still a flashback. I think.

Given the background music and silhouettes, I assume the plants are all dead?

Hmm. I don't think I recognize any of the people standing near Knives?

End notes:

Well that's a bit of a cliffhanger! And we still don't find out what the rest of the group has to say about Vash's newly revealed plant status.

I'm still very confused about the timeline here, but that's probably intentional, haha. But I feel like if Vash really had been around since humans first came to the planet he'd be a bit more well-established. Like historically and community-wise, outside of the bounty, I mean. Even with limited travel or communication, people still talk and word still carries.

On a personal and somewhat negative note, I feel a little put off by some of the character dynamics present in the whole Brad-Luida-Vash situation, particularly as Luida's case. It's just kinda... leaning too much into gendered roles. I mean in this case I guess they might be trying more for a 'new set of parental figures' thing with the dynamic to match, but... eh. Nothing's perfect I guess.

I will say I overall enjoyed the episode though! The mystery of the timeline is kind of fun, and there was some important worldbuilding and character exposition.

[codenamesailordarillium]

Im too shy to comment rn but I noticed your post on River calling herself a psychopath (you do great commentary btw) I gotta point out in Time of the Doctor~

Tasha: “They engineered a psychopath to kill you.”

Doctor: “Totally married her. I’d never have made it here alive without River Song.”

Oh hello! No problem about not commenting, that's what anon is for. ^_^

I'd completely forgotten that scene, it's literally been like a decade since I watched that episode. You are correct, Tasha does indeed describe River as a psychopath in TTotD. I guess the distinction I was making there is it's not something I can remember anyone calling River to her face. And in context Tasha brings it up rather casually in conversation, she doesn't seem to say it with any real assertion that River is actually some emotionless psychopath. Given 11's response, more than anything else it's meant to showcase the wonderful irony of River being bred to murder him and the way they both completely turned that on its head.

I don't doubt that it's likely Kovarian may have told her and reinforced that idea that she was and had to be cold & unfeeling to fulfill her purpose as an assassin. I also have the massive backlog of TDoRS audios to catch up with as well as my copy of The Ruby's Curse, so I'd have to make note whether anyone else says that about her in any of those contexts.

For the most part tho, as fitting River's backstory I think it's the type of thing she says to protect herself. The monsters can't hurt her if she herself is the biggest, baddest monster of them all (honestly a vibe). Hide the damage and all that, can't let the universe's bad guys catch a whiff of the vulnerabilities she keeps so close to the chest.

Thanks for sending me this, when I pose open-ended questions like this I do genuinely welcome responses. I appreciate any opportunity to gush about River in depth like this. Thanks for saying I do decent commentary, though it's often a result of me just being silly & tryna keep myself entertained (also my way of interacting with the text because I can't manage fic writing at this point in time). 😊