#rarely so far we heard him saying all of this so frankly out loud and called putin and russia what they are

[the-jam-to-the-unicorn]

Address by Zelenskyy on the Day of Remembrance and Victory over Nazism in World War II

“They break into your house. They come to kill, burn, execute. They don't spare anyone – the elderly, women, children… They are beasts…”

These are the memories of the Nazi occupation survivors. 

And these are the memories of the Russian occupation survivors. The same horrors, the crimes of the same monsters. 

80 years ago, millions of Ukrainians fought to defeat Nazism forever. But today, Ukrainians are once again standing up to evil, which reemerged, returned, and wants to destroy us again. It’s an army of a fiend that kills, tortures and wipes peaceful cities and villages off the face of the Earth. This evil is called Russian fascism, or RF for short.

A witness to this is this basement in the village of Yahidne in the Chernihiv region. The ruscists herded all the villagers into it and kept them there for almost a month. All of them. 350 people, all the children of this village, 80 girls and boys, the youngest of whom was a month and a half old. Everyone in the world can understand what Putin's Russia is by imagining themself here, in this basement, among these people, without light, food, water, medicine, and air, in a room with less than a meter per person. They slept seated. They went outside only once. They ate 200 grams of soup a day. The men were stripped naked in the freezing cold to find Ukrainian tattoos. 10 of the hostages died here. It was forbidden to bury them. Another 17 people were killed by the ruscists. In any corner of the world, that’s known by the same word – hell. When entire villages are burned down, when there are mass executions, when people are put against a wall blindfolded to be killed – in any corner of the world, that's known by the same word – Nazism. If that's not Nazism, then what is that? 

And everyone on Earth knows history and remembers how to fight Nazism. It’s done with humanity united to oppose Hitler, not with buying oil from him or attending his inauguration.

Yahidne, a village that survived the hell of the RF, is just one example. It's just one village, but it reflects the essence of Putin's vision of the world, his real goals. And his goal is to force underground all those who want to live freely, to force a whole village into the basement, and then another one, and then the whole of Ukraine, and finally, force the whole world into the basement. For the RF, these are just stages of their morbid plan to imprison freedom in a ghetto, in a concentration camp called the "Russian world," and to export Russia's main asset – barbed wire – worldwide, by repeating the same scenario Hitler created 80 years ago: swallowing the lands of others step by step and testing the world’s reaction. And when the reaction is spineless, the Nazis keep going. Appeals, resolutions, and half-sanctions don't stop them. And the only question Putin is concerned about today is: Who's next?

Russia has officially approved a list of states that cannot feel safe and called it a “List of Unfriendly States.” Tellingly, it almost completely coincides with the list of the states of the Anti-Hitler Coalition. Those who defeated Nazism are enemies for modern Russia: the countries of the European Union, the United Kingdom, the United States, Canada, and almost fifty states in total. They are free, democratic and independent, which in the modern Kremlin ideology means “dangerous.” And therefore, they are targets.

The world didn't see the threat, the world slept through the revival of Nazism – at 5 a.m. on February 24, 2022. And today, everyone who remembers World War II and has survived to this day is experiencing déjà vu. The Battle of Kyiv, bombing of Kharkiv, Odesa, Dnipro, mass graves, blockade of ports, plundering and seizure of grain, tortures, executions, deportation of children, filtration camps, and colonies for captives. Russia has brought pages from textbooks about World War II back into the headlines of the world's media. Russia has brought the terrible past back into the daily news, proving with each new crime that Nazism has revived. Just this time it has a new label: “Made in Russia.”

Recently, our society was moved by a photo of a man at the grave of his grandson who died at war. The father of this man was killed by the Nazis. His grandson's life was taken by the Russian occupiers. This is just one of the millions of examples that put the sign of equality between Nazism and modern Russia.

Today, Hitler's ideas are voiced in Russian. Nazi crimes are committed under the Russian flag. The difference is merely formal. The new Wehrmacht that invaded Ukraine wears a double-headed eagle on its sleeves. Kalibrs and Kinzhals are the new V-weapons, MiGs and Su-aircrafts are the new Luftwaffe, a Z symbol is the new swastika, and Yunarmiya is the new Hitlerjugend. There are dozens of similar parallels and hundreds of similar emulations.

And if the modern Kremlin resembles the Third Reich in everything, its end should be identical, taking place in the new Nuremberg – in the city of The Hague.

And like in 1945 this can only be ensured by a united free world, the world united in Anti-Putin Coalition, the world that can stop Moscow Nazis through actions, not words, and prevent the new evil from spreading to the entire European continent and, subsequently, to the entire world, the world capable of helping Ukraine defeat Russian Nazism, helping itself, and proving its commitment to the words “Never again!”, so that “Never again!” becomes relevant again.

Dear Ukrainians!

The residents of the village of Yahidne were held here for 27 days. On March 30, 2022, the village was liberated from the ruscist invaders. On April 19, it was demined by our military forces. This symbolizes that history is repeating itself, and everyone who came to destroy us will eventually have to flee from Ukrainian land. A part of our territory is still occupied, and some of our people are held in captivity, which means that our battle continues. And today, on the Day of Remembrance and Victory over Nazism, as we commemorate the millions of Ukrainians who fought and gained victory together with other nations, we keep believing and we bring a new day of a new victory closer.

When the expulsion of the Nazis from Ukraine, we read about in the history textbooks, will happen in real life. And the event of the mid-twentieth century will be repeated and become part of the history of the 21st century, the history of our joint victory over Russian evil.

Greetings on the Day of Remembrance and Victory over Nazism in World War II! 

Glory to Ukraine!

[plus-size-reader]

Domestic

Natasha Romanoff x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 2000 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Nat has a super cute wifey who likes to have mass dinners for all the avengers at their home

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The arrangement that Clint had for Laura and the kids had worked for him.

By all accounts, most people didn’t even know that they existed, which in this life, certainly helped to keep them alive.

Having people that you loved made you vulnerable, and it also put all of their lives in danger. Clint knew that all too well, and made sure that no one would know who or where they were in order to protect them.

It was a good plan, a smart plan, and when you and Natasha got married, she wanted the same thing for you.

You were the love of her life, and one of the only people in the world she truly cared for. She had spent her entire life sure that she would never fall in love, or get too close to anyone, but you had easily broken down all those walls.

That made you more valuable than gold to her.

You were her everything, and if hiding you away was what she’d have to do to keep you safe, no one would need to know about you. It had been easy for Clint, and others like him, so there was no reason it couldn’t work for her too.

Fury understood that Natasha wasn’t taking this issue lightly, so he and Colson took special precautions to make sure that no one would ever be able to find you unless they had high enough clearance and couldn’t be registered as a threat.

After all, Nat had no shortage of enemies and getting ahold of you would be all they would be after.

You were valuable to them too, for a much different reason.

Getting to you would put Natasha in quite the predicament. Using you as leverage, there was virtually nothing they couldn’t find out, which meant it was in S.H.I.E.L.Ds best interest to keep you hidden too.

They had too many secrets to keep, and Natasha held the key to most of them.

So, she kept you hidden away.

It was safer for the two of you to just keep the love you shared under wraps and you didn’t mind that. You understood that there could be real danger if you weren’t careful.

It was just something you had to do if you wanted to be with her, and you certainly did. Quite frankly, there was nothing you wouldn’t do for her, even if it meant uprooting your whole life and practically going into witness protection.

However, staying there forever wasn’t an option either.

As with all things, nothing could stay a secret forever. At some point, the secret was bound to get out to someone; though, it wasn’t as detrimental as you had always assumed it would be when it finally came to light.

The visitors you had were more than welcome.

The knock at your door wasn’t one you had been expecting, but when you opened it, you were anything but worried.

Standing there, entirely unannounced, was the woman you’d married and all of the avengers.

“What are you doing here?” you gasped, throwing your arms around her shoulders before she could so much as say hello. Technically, you weren’t supposed to be so open right away, but you didn’t care.

You hadn’t seen Natasha in months, and you weren’t sure you could hold back much longer with her right in front of you.

Living out here, while safe, was lonely.

Still, Natasha with as much as she missed you was paranoid by nature. Even this much, out in the open, made her nervous.

“Inside honey” she reminded gently, gingerly walking you back until you were safely within the confines of your home. It was only when the door was closed and locked with all of you inside that Nat visibly relaxed.

Understandably, she was uneasy about this whole thing.

Not only was she telling them all about you and the secret she’d been hiding for years at this point, but she was also gathering all the people she cared about in one place.

With a past like hers, it was a little stressful.

Though, she also found some amount of comfort in getting to see you again after all this time. The recent events had made it hard to sneak off and visit you without attracting suspicious or unwanted attention.

There was silence for a moment or two as the waiting crowd tried to figure out what was going on, or what about this place made it Natasha’s very important stop. She had been very clear that they couldn’t go anywhere until they came here.

There had to be a reason it was so important.

Natasha had never done anything like this before, and until this moment, they were sure that she didn’t have any personal connections to anything or anywhere. A woman like her, doing what she did, didn’t get that luxury.

...or, at least, they didn’t think so.

Almost immediately, of course, Tony connected the dots.

There was just something about the way she looked at you, and the way you looked back at her in turn, he’d seen it a million times before. He’d seen it in his own parents on the rare occasions they weren’t fighting.

You were in love.

The fact that he didn’t know you existed until today, or the fact that she’d hidden so much from him didn’t bother Tony in the least. In the lives they lived, everyone had their secrets, no one more so than Natasha.

If anything, he was glad she’d chosen to share with them now.

“This is your special lady, isn’t it?” he teased, doing his best not to be as awkward as he was sure it was coming across. Natasha was just so cagey about the things in her life, especially her love life, and this was news to him.

Good news, but news none-the-less.

You weren’t entirely sure what to say at first, taking your place at Natasha’s side. You knew who they were, of course, and you’d heard a lot about them but you had never had the privilege of meeting any of them before.

You didn’t get to meet many new people ever, for that matter. You were a little concerned that your people skills had gotten rusty.

It was impossible to know who was dangerous or not, and you didn’t want to risk running into the wrong kind. Being on high alert made it really hard to connect with people, even when you were sure they were safe.

It was new for you.

“This is my wife, Y/N” Natasha hummed, practically beaming as she finally said those words out loud. She had never had the privilege before, but this seemed like the perfect place to finally make it happen.

This was safe.

These people were safe, and even with as nervous as you were to be meeting them, you knew that Nat would never bring anyone even remotely dangerous to meet you.

The fact that she trusted them enough to bring them to your home meant that she trusted them, and if she trusted them, you could too. So, rather than hide behind your beautiful wife all night, you stood up a little straighter and decided to just give this thing a try.

“Hello, you must be the avengers” you tried, ignoring how strange the sentence sounded falling from your lips. It was hardly a normal thing to say, and hardly the most smooth delivery you’d ever given but it wasn’t the worst.

...And no one seemed too offended by it.

All in all, it was an okay icebreaker, and before too long, conversation was swelling all around you. You had gotten ready to start dinner when they arrived, so it seemed like the perfect thing to busy yourself with while they talked and checked out your home.

It was a cute little place, one Nat had practically fallen in love with, partially because of the close family floorplan and mostly because of the isolation.

The two of you sometimes talked about getting a bigger place, or moving somewhere far away from here, but for the pair of you, this house was just fine. It was decorated nicely, your way of having some agency over the situation you’d been put in with pictures and artwork everywhere.

“So, you’ve just been living here? Isn’t that a little difficult?” Steve asked, sitting down across from the island where you were stirring a bowl of what looked to be pasta salad.

This whole thing was blowing his mind.

In general, most everyone else had come to accept the arrangement you two shared as just part of being married to a spy but Captain America was less used to this whole thing, even now. The idea of hiding away your life partner was blowing his mind, even for safety's sake.

It seemed like it would be hard.

“It isn’t easy, but it’s just what we have to do. Nat’s made a lot of enemies over the years” you shrugged, doing your very best to explain the situation in the same way you did with everyone else.

It was just how it was.

You sometimes dreamed of what it would be like if you didn’t have to live like this. If you and Natasha could just go strolling down the street, hand in hand, without the fear of being kidnapped and tortured in the middle of the night.

Unfortunately though, that fear was justified. There were people everywhere who would have gladly gotten their hands on you, in this country, and all over the world.

“Well, you’ve got some allies in your corner now too” he smiled, finishing what was left of his glass of juice and then going to look through your wedding album with the others on the couch.

Clint had snatched it from the shelf as soon as he came in, after giving you a hug and a kiss on the forehead as he always did, and insisted on showing it to the others. Your wedding pictures were some of his favorites, especially because he’d been the only other person in attendance to the event.

You hoped that for your sake, Steve was right. You had grown so accustomed to seeing everyone else in the world as a threat that it would be nice to know that you had some friends in this world as well.

“You forgot to stir the noodles, honey” Nat grinned, gliding past you to the stove where the pot was bubbling away. You had a habit of getting a little far off, especially in a kitchen setting, with a million thoughts swirling around in your head.

It was something you hated, but couldn't seem to get a handle on, but Natasha found it endearing.

It reminded her of the first time you’d offered to make her dinner and ended up burning most of the spaghetti to the bottom of the pan.

It reminded her of why she’d fallen in love with you in the first place.

~

Eventually, with the quick rescue of the spaghetti from Nat, dinner was ready which meant that your small, meant for two dining room, was full to the brim with assassins, super soldiers, and avengers of all varieties.

It wasn’t exactly how you saw tonight going, but as everyone crowded around the dining room table, you were anything but upset about that.

This was what you’d always wanted. A house full of guests, a warm dinner spread out over the entire table, and the love of your life at your side.

It was absolutely perfect.

You didn’t get to experience things like this very often, but you had a feeling that now that it had happened, this was going to be an ongoing occurrence for you and Natasha, who enjoyed these things much more than she’d ever admit.

After all, this group was her family, and it wasn’t going to kill her to be a little domestic from time to time.

[sneverussape]

so…petunia dursley

i’ve seen this character get a lot of hate and i’ve always thought it’d be great if people could actually understand the great potential this character has, especially in relation with snape. she isn’t a bad character at all; in fact, i find her hilarious. she and vernon are so amped up in the narrative that it’s practically clownish, and that’s how the text is supposed to be read. their actions are supposed to be exaggeratedly bad because otherwise, harry’s shift into the wizarding world would seem colorless and boring. and i mean…would he even want to be the hero as much if vernon and petunia had been nice or at least decent to him? he’d have probably thought twice about risking his neck each time, and the series would have gone an entirely different route.

(frankly i’d rather harry have been more pragmatic, i can only take so many hair-raising and idiotic schemes as a reader so i really feel for severus, after he was given the task of being Primary Babysitter of the most wayward child in wizarding britain)

but i digress…petunia and her potential, especially in relation to severus snape, is huge.

the fandom is split with lily and while i don’t normally pay attention to whoever likes lily and who doesnt like her as a character, the fact is, she’s dead and can no longer contribute to the main story unless it’s an au or something that refers to their past. thats her main limitation to me and it really sucks but the alternative is actually petunia dursley née evans. the fun thing about it is their dynamic could be totally different.

sure, petunia wasn’t really snape’s friend…but are we really sure? the fact is, we don’t know. petunia shows up rarely in the books and it’s always pre-hogwarts scenes with harry and ones that serve to make harry’s life and living situation as difficult as the publishers could stand. but she grew up with lily, in the same town as snape. she took them, even harry, to cokeworth of all places while they were trying to flee harry’s letters. why? also what would her relationship to snape had been especially when they had grown older? would she have tried to approach him when lily and he had fallen apart? i can imagine a sort of scenario when she’d try to confront him about why her sister was crying into her pillow every night the summer after their fifth year, or even serving as a sort of messenger at some point because she could no longer stand lily’s whining. snape had come to their house often enough as a child so maybe when they were teenagers she decided she’d pay him a visit as well, especially since lily was busy with that tousle-haired pillock, potter. at first it was so that snape would know that they as evanses would never be dealing with the likes of him again, good riddance, but that was the summer she heard that eileen snape had gone while severus had been away at school and tobias snape seemed not far behind, and for goodness’ sake she wasn’t that cruel. he seemed all right, at any rate, if not more sullen than usual, and taller and thinner than she remembered, but he was alive. and maybe she was…relieved? even glad? but heaven forbid she say it out loud.

what about lily’s funeral? would she have gone, and more importantly, would she have invited or looked for him there, knowing that only he could probably understand how her heart felt as though it had been crushed into a tiny billion pieces, but at the same time, how her jealousy of lily, stunningly beautiful and madly in love even at the point of death, still shone through?

and then there’s the question of harry. why did she choose to house harry despite her hating him? taking the narrative excuse aside, it seems like it was a really messed-up way of making amends (to lily? to the boy across the river who she didn’t know was dead or alive?), and the fact that she and vernon had also tried very hard to keep harry away from magic seemed a weird and extreme way of caring for him, somewhat, since she knew magic had taken her sister away, had killed her, and she didn’t want that for her nephew, not even if she said she hated him. i doubt she had even explained to vernon the finer details about what she knew about magic as a concept, and she probably knew more than she let on.

anyway, just consider. petunia dursley is a great character to play with alongside snape. she doesn’t even have to be romantically linked to him, but as someone who knew him as a child, who knows his history, his background, his parents, and how he’s nearly like her: both vying for lily’s attention, jealous, petty, childish, pragmatic…the possibilities are endless.

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Request: Trio (Caius Volturi x Reader x Athenodora Volturi)

You should have considered yourself lucky. This should have been heaven to you. Yet as the days went on, you began to notice more and more tiny details that no longer made it perfect. 

Caius and Athenodora married long before you or many of the generations before you existed. That didn't bother you. You knew the pair were thousands of years old. Whilst you weren't married to them or necessarily expecting a marriage you couldn't help but notice just how enthralled the two were with each other and left you on the outside to get what ever is left of their love. It had came up many times. All of such conversations ended with the same assurance that wasn't the case. You tried to make that comforting to you but it wasn't. It simply felt like it was a lie, something to keep you content for the time being. 

After some time the feeling never left and you began to distance yourself from the two. You didn't see either of them as often and were able to make up an excuse several times when the two requested your presence. They hadn't pushed it yet but you knew you'd have to get more creative eventually. 

On this particular day, you couldn't avoid Athenodora. Not amount of trying to get out of it subtly was working. Thankfully, you hadn't seen Caius and it was only Athenodora. She was a lot easier to avoid than Caius. You entered the room and Sulpicia left almost immediately to her own quarters. "Hi," You said softly, barely making eye contact with her. "Where would you want this?" It was more books from the library seeing as the wives weren't allowed to go down their on their own. "Over there is fine." Athenodora said with a smile, pointing to the table at the far wall of the room between the windows. You silently cursed hoping you could have just make another excuse but them somewhere closer and hurry off. Going to the other side of the room meant it wouldn't be so easy leaving. You nodded, briskly walking to the table and placing the books down on the table. 

You paused, just how were you going to get out of this situation? You stared down at the books. You had no idea what you were going to say. "Are you alright?" You heard Athenodora ask from behind you. "Yes." You said quickly. "I was just thinking about what the receptionist had said to me before, I think I better head down and see what she needs." Just as you finished the sentence you stiffened feeling hands on your waist from behind. "What are you doing?" You asked, a little too hurriedly than you had liked. "Hoping to get at least get some of your time." Athenodora answered. "It's been weeks since I've probably had your company." Her grip got a little firmer. "I'm sorry, I've just been busy recently-." "Why are you lying to me?" Your heart nearly came out of your throat, your eyes wide. You knew it was a crappy lie. Athenodora continued. "We caught on after the first few times. You're avoiding us." Just like that it had gotten worse. "Can you let go please?" You asked. "Can I get some answers?" She responded but released her hold on you. You moved to make space between you both. "I can't do this right now." You said, eyes to the floor. "We're worried, (Y/N). Tell me what's wrong and we can fix it." Athenodora said as though lightly pleading. You shook your head. Hurrying towards the door as Athenodora moved towards you. "(Y/N), stop." Athenodora said sharply and you froze in place. That really did work on you every time. "Give me a hug, please." She asked softer. You were silent for a moment. "If I do, will you let me leave?" Her jaw twisted, hurt in her eyes. "Yes." She said stiffly. You quickly moved towards her before hugging her. She hugged you to her tightly, enjoying the moment that had become so rare. You loved Athenodora just as you did Caius hit you felt at this point giving such acts of affection was a betrayal to yourself. "Just tell me something." She whispered quietly. "Even just one sentence. Please, tell me."  "I think I'm his toy and I think I'm your toy too." You said quietly before forcibly breaking yourself out of her hold. You barely caught her look of hurt once again before quickly taking your leave. 

Barely two hours later, Caius stormed into your room. "You upset her." He seethed. It was clear he was absolutely livid with you. "It wasn't my intention." You said lowly, your back to him, looking down at something on your desk. "Look at me!" Caius demanded. You closed your eyes but turned to look at him. "You've hurt her. You've hurt me." He said icily. "I can't help how I feel. I apologise that my feelings hurt you. It's why I kept to myself in the first place. Athenodora asked." "Do not make excuses for yourself!" Caius snapped. "You do not get to say such a thing and then walk away. You do not get to be so cold towards Athenodora!" You had nothing to say to that. You had done your best with the situation, tried to protect them both. "You're coming with me, now! We're going through this again!" Caius demanded. "I don't want to do this right now." You said rigidly. "I didn't want to deal with this again. I didn't want to find my wife upset. We don't want to lose you or upset you but here we are! None of us want to do this but we are so come!" Caius left no room to argue...as usual. 

Athenodora looked up as Caius entered the room, you one step behind him and looking very uncomfortable. "I'm sorry I upset you. It wasn't my intention." You said to her quietly. She stepped forward. "You both know I'm sorry, so can we go past the punishing me part so I can leave?" "No." Caius said sharply. "That. That right there is the problem. You think you're here to be punished for this. You couldn't be more wrong. Something is wrong and we're getting to the bottom of it." He pointed a finger at you. "There is something wrong that is making you cold and distant. We gave you time and space after you avoided us the first three times and clearly it has done nothing but grown. We don't recognise this side of you (Y/N) and quite frankly, we don't like it either." "And I don't get a say in this? This is you two giving me space? Demanding I bear my heart and soul to you so you can scream at me?" You responded coldly, seemingly proving their point. "We don't want to punish you, (Y/N)." Athenodora tried. "We want to help. Something has changed and that's alright, just let us help you through it." "Why?" You asked quizzically. "I hurt your feelings, Caius' too and the first thing that happened was Caius' stormed into my room and demanded I have this conversation." "We think whatever this is, you're holding onto it so that you don't hurt anyone but it's hurting you and by extension that hurts us. We just want to help." Athenodora said softly. "So you've already decided what this is before I even came into it. You two have discussed this without me..." You scoffed. "...and you wonder why I feel the way I do." The room was silent for a moment. "Which is what?" Caius' eyes narrowed on you. Athenodora looked to Caius and you felt a flash of fear. You had said too much. 

You slowly shook your head looking down. "No, say it. We want to hear you say it. Stop clinging onto it and say what is clearly consuming you!" Caius demanded. Your eyes got darker and darker. The two noticed as whatever was going through your head started to overwhelm you. "You can tell us. Sweetheart, we want to help." Athenodora tried. "Stop it!" You said quickly, covering your face. "Say it, (Y/N). You have a nasty habit of bottling things up to the point we need to pry it out of you. Which is exactly what we're doing now. It's time." Caius said, moving closer. "Do you not love us anymore?" Athenodora guessed, trying to help you. "No, that's not it!" You said, behind your hands.  "This is ridiculous! This isn't healthy how-" Your outburst interrupted Caius. "I still feel like a hobby!" You cried out. "I feel that you two are each other's priority and I get what's left. I'm just an extension of your relationship!" Your eyes widened. You had said it. Out loud. The two looked taken aback. "Oh, damn it!" You cried out, sinking to your knees. Athenodora was quick to catch you, lowering to the ground with you. She pulled you against her as you curled up into a ball. Her arms wrapping over your back. "What-" Caius began but Athenodora cut him off. "Give them a minute." She said to him, voice firm but her hold on you comforting. 

This wasn't new to Caius and Athenodora. It had bothered you for a long time but never to this extent. They had hoped that with time, you could move past it. It was known you bottled up your emotions and the pair tried to get you break the habit but sometimes you'd rather destroy yourself than tell them what you were feeling. They loved you too much to let that happen. It pained them to see that you rarely felt better when you told them. You felt guilty, caring about their feelings more than your own. 

Athenodora mumbled to you quietly that everything was okay. That you were alone. They were here. In silence, Caius cast his anger aside. After all he wasn't really angry at you. He was angry at the situation. That he couldn't take that feeling of guilt away. He moved forward when he heard you apologise. Athenodora continued to tell you it was alright. He didn't want your apology, you didn't need to apologise. 

He moved behind you, joining you both on the floor. "You're alright." He said to you quietly, winding his arms around your waist, his chin on top of your shoulder. "Tell us more." Athenodora said quietly into your ear. "You pay more attention to each other. It's you two against the world and then me. I don't feel equal. I-I’m sorry!"  "(Y/N), look at me." Caius began, both himself and Athenodora moving you to face him. Your back against Athenodora's chest. "I love you just as much as I love Athenodora. I would not lie to you. I may have married Athenodora but in our eyes your are our spouse just as much. We love you and you make us feel complete." He cradled your face in his hands. "We couldn't live without you with us. It would destroy us. Even if you don't believe me...just remember it. Until you do, until we prove it to you." Caius' tone was soft and gentle. It was exceptionally rare for him to speak to you like that, or anyone for that matter but after a moment of staring into your eyes he pressed his lips to yours. The action surprised you. Regardless you returned the kiss. "Give it time, alright?" Athenodora responded. "Let us show you." Slowly, you nodded.

[shylockgnomes]

[ Banner by @purpleyin ]

Right so I’m shifting up a gear, with the writing for F1 racing/mechanic inspired Johnlock AU ‘The Chequered Flag’ And it’s Wednesday here already in the U.K… Just!

The story has a series of interludes called Pit Stops… because of course. And here is the first one to get you interested as readers and me getting a little cheerleading as a writer because who doesn’t love that?!

Any mistakes are because I’m well… obviously still writing it!

Lack of read more is being on mobile. Sorry!

Pit Stop I

They get to know each other slowly at first, unlike their work which speeds by as it should. There are team meetings and evening events where their hellos are cursory and brief. The usual patter between colleagues who are really rivals. Downtime chats in groups during test days where they fill time with the usual small talk which reveals snippets. Glimpses of how the other is under the surface.

John catches himself staring for longer than he should when the other speaks. His eyes catching on lips wondering what they’d feel like against his own. He shouldn’t…

Races feel more charged somehow, but that has to be in John’s imagination.

They share lunch on an afternoon where the conditions on the test track are too dangerous to stay out: bucketfuls of rain lashing and the wind entirely wrong to do much of anything useful. At least for them. It’s a strange, impromptu and all too rare lull.

John’s counterpart is brooding over his food, like the storm whirling outside, his hair ruffled from taking off his race gear when they’d come in.

“You alright?” John asks more as a politeness than anything else.

“Oh yeah, Champ.” It’s the first time he’s called John the gentle teasing nickname the crew has christened him after winning the last season. “I’m just… I was meant to be away with Tess but that's off. I thought you’d have remembered seeing as I wasn’t supposed to be here.”

“Tess is the actress right? From that film… the one with… oh I forget his name...” The identity of the actor is on the tip of his tongue. “He’s the sexy one…” John blurts as his companion says: ‘Sean Alcott.’ Not loud enough to cover John’s admission though. He’s not supposed to say stuff like that, it’s not done.

An eyebrow raises though and the other man smirks. Not unkindly, more intrigued which makes it feel a little like John’s heart is turning over in his chest. He has to keep a grip of himself, for god’s sake. He’s a professional.

“That’s what Tess thinks too…” Is the drole reply.

“Oh?” Says John. Well, she’s Sean’s co-star, they did all that frankly steamy kissing. The best on screen chemistry has a seed of reality he’s sure.

“Oh yes, he is as sexy as he seems.” He laughs snd shrugs.

“Oh…” It really was actual chemistry, so that’s why his colleague’s not away with Tess. Well she’s missing out, thinks John, “I’m sorry.” is what he says.

“Oh no, I’m not worried. Tess is a... distraction.”

John balks. Okay slightly harsh on Tess, but also totally untrue about anything distracting his not quite opponent.

“From the racing? No, she isn’t… You’re brilliant! Actually, you’re more than brilliant right now, you’re nearly bloody winning! You’ve kicked my arse enough this season that you have to accept that you’re doing really damn well.”

“Thank you for saying so. This signing has been enjoyable so far. The team is great. And I meant distraction as a decoy. Tess and I. We like each other’s company, but it’s not a relationship”

John bristles at the bluntness. Is his team mate really this much of a prick? Has he misread him this badly? Tess had seemed lovely on the few occasions he’s bumped into her at things.

“But you’ve been together for a year, haven’t you? That’s a relationship in my book.”

“It isn’t romantic; we’re just friends. We’ve moved in the same circles even before this season, John. How have you not heard?” He indicates both of them. As if there’s something John has missed. The gentle tilt of his teammates' hand completing the action is beautiful. John’s never really looked at his fingers before. They’re as lovely as the rest of him. The man leans in conspiratorially and John mirrors it. The heart turning feeling returns and quickens. “Because I thought it was an open secret. I date women for my image, and because sponsors can be… I want to say ‘opinionated’. What I should say is bigoted. I’m gay, John.”

Tagging: @loveismyrevolution @totallysilvergirl @bakingsherlycakes @loveinthemindpalace @barbsiebabe @morgendaemmerung89

Sorry to anyone I should have tagged! I am going to sleep now! :) Happy Wednesday!

[nejibaby]

Gorgeous

Pairings: Neji x Y/N

Song reference/inspiration: Gorgeous by Taylor Swift

Summary: You hate Neji… or do you?

A/N: I didn’t know what came over me please don’t sue 🤣 Please let me know your thoughts, although I couldn’t really reply since this isn’t my main blog... (I just really like reading your comments & reblogs 🥺)

You always thought the gods above adore you because of how lucky you are. For years of being a shinobi, you’re able to go on missions without that certain someone.

Everyone knows that you dislike Neji. Some might even go far and say you hate him. But no one really knew why you hated him with so much passion.

So when you’ve been assigned on a mission with him for the first time, your friends — with the exception of Hinata —immediately know you’d invite them for drinks to get piss drunk and rant about the Hyuga boy.

When you arrive at the bar, you wasted no time ordering drinks and downing them one by one.

“Woah, slow down Y/N!” Sakura says.

“Let her be, Sakura. You know how she gets when Neji is involved,” Ino tells Sakura, “No words are going to stop her, might as well just look over her.”

Sakura gives her a frown then slips in glasses of water in between the drinks you had lined up.

“Ugh, I hate this! Why do I even have to be assigned with him?” You complain.

Ino sighs, “It was bound to happen anyway, with the shortage of shinobis from the back-to-back attacks here in Konoha, and all that. You’ve been lucky you hadn’t been assigned on missions with him for this long.”

You huff. “The gods hate me so much.”

Ino just rolls her eyes at you.

“Why do you hate Neji so much anyway?” Sakura asks.

You take a shot before answering. “Have you heard how he talks? He’s always talking about destinies and fates and how we can’t change them!”

Sakura and Ino look at each other. Then Sakura says, “I don’t know what year you live in, but Neji has changed ever since he met Naruto.”

“—And besides that,” you continue your rant, “He’s such a know-it-all. And he just always has to explain everything to us like we don’t understand anything.”

“I mean he’s really good at analyzing things and breaking them down for us so we can follow the reasoning behind things,” Sakura says in defense of the poor man.

“Shikamaru is just the same but I don’t see you hating on him,” Ino adds.

You pay no mind to their statements, knowing they’re probably right but you weren’t just going to admit that. “—And he always sounds so bossy! Everyone looks up to him and heeds his words. It’s like he has this magnetic field that attracts people and shit. It’s so fucking annoying!”

Ino and Sakura were both about to say something about your statements but no words came out despite them opening their mouths. You squint at them, a contrast to the way their eyes had widened.

“What?” You ask.

“I think we should talk, you’re being a little too loud,” someone behind you says.

You bite the inside of your cheeks, knowing who that voice belongs to. You feel your face getting hot — from the embarrassment or from the alcohol, you weren’t sure. You clear your throat, look behind you and greet, “Neji.” You try to make your voice sound friendly, but you were so used to saying his name laced with venom that it’s just impossible for you to sound amicable.

He’s taken aback by the hostility in your voice. He’s aware of your hatred towards him so he tries not to bother you with his presence but you’re talking too loudly about him that it was becoming uncomfortable to him. Besides, you two are going to go on a mission together, it’s better to resolve things between the two of you right now, or at least before the mission starts.

Neji knows he hasn’t done anything to wrong you and as far as he’s concerned, both of you never talked to each other yet so he wasn’t really sure why you despised him so much, until now, that is.

He holds his hand out for you to help you stand. How gentlemanly, you wanted to sneer but you stopped yourself. Instead, you clench your fists and glare at him.

When you don’t make a move to stand up, he gently grabs a hold of your hand and tugs you towards the exit of the bar. You’re too shocked by the action that you didn’t get to protest. You know damn well Neji avoids physical contact with everyone, except during training, of course.

By the time you’re both out of the bar, you aim a punch at him. But with your drunkenness, you miss. That, and he easily dodged it.

“What are you doing?!” Neji asks, surprised by your action.

“You should think about the consequence of touching my hand.”

His brows furrow, trying to understand you. He doesn’t want to make things worse so he chooses to apologize instead.

You don’t respond, opting to lean back against the wall and cross your arms instead, considering your abrupt movement made your head feel dizzy. You tried not to wince at the pounding of your head. God forbid you’d let him see any weakness in you.

Then you take a look at Neji who seems to have shifted to a more relaxed stance after your unexpected attack. Seeing this, you try to collect yourself as well. Or at least as much as your drunk mind can.

Neji takes your silence as a signal to talk. “We’ve known each other for so long now because we have the same circle of friends, but we never really got to talk to each other until now,” he starts. “I have seen you interact with everyone except me. At first it did not really bother me, but then I found out you hated me. In order to avoid unnecessary arguments or whatsoever, I let you be and kept my distance. I did not understand why, until I heard you talking a while ago—”

There was something unnerving about his lavender eyes staring at you so intently that must’ve made your mind short circuit, so you cut him off and blurt out, “You should take that as a compliment.”

To say that Neji is confused is an understatement. The creases on his forehead deepen at your declaration. “What do you mean?”

You close your eyes and just shrug. Your mind wasn’t cooperating with you so you’d rather just not talk. You keep silent for a whole minute meanwhile Neji waits until you speak again. When the minute passes and he still hasn’t said a word, you ask, “Why don’t you just go back to Tenten or something?”

That sounded wrong.

Frankly, that wasn’t what you plan on saying, but your inebriated mind couldn’t comprehend what you just said and its possible implication.

If other people were to listen to your conversation right now, they would probably assume that you were jealous, or maybe even insecure with Tenten, but Neji was different from other people. Luckily for you, you both share a similar way of thinking. He knows you’re trying to deflect.

“Tenten’s your girlfriend, right?” You couldn’t stop your mouth from blabbering anymore.

“No. She’s a friend.”

This was news to you. You always assumed they were together since they spend a huge amount of time with each other.

“So you’re single?”

“Yes.”

“Ugh, that’s honestly worse,” you thought. Or at least you intended it to be just a thought but you ended up saying it out loud.

Neji doesn’t know if he should be offended by your statement or not. Was it worse because no one’s going to keep him in line? Shouldn’t you be glad no one’s going to suffer the fate of being his girlfriend? Those were definitely something you’d say. But he’s uncertain, so he pushed those thoughts aside, knowing full well you weren’t going to answer him properly if he asked the meaning behind your words.

Since you’re so keen on changing the subject regarding your hatred for him when he’s obviously trying hard to make amends with you, he decides to just drop it and talk to you when you’re completely sober. “Is Kiba going to come get you?”

“Why should he?” It was your turn to furrow your brows.

“You’re drunk and he’s your boyfriend.”

You snort. If he said you were seeing Kiba then you definitely wouldn’t deny it and you’d shut your mouth. You aren’t in a relationship with him, or maybe you are, if friends-with-benefits is considered a relationship. So Kiba is in no way your boyfriend — that label entails commitment and of course, love. However, your setup with Kiba was more of an agreement rather than a commitment and instead of romantic love, there was only love for a friend.

To correct him you say, “He’s not really my boyfriend.”

Neji was never one to assume unless there’s a basis. He knows this about himself. So when you deny your relationship with Kiba, he was skeptical, and a smaller part of him was ashamed that he reached such a conclusion without asking first.

It only goes to show that you both have wrong preconceptions about each other, and that you both have a lot to learn about one another.

“Ah, sorry. I thought—”

“It’s fine,” you wave him off.

Neji’s eye twitches. You cut him off twice now and he doesn’t appreciate it at all. He’s a very patient man and it takes a lot to get a rise out of him or maybe even get a reaction. But you had him shift from being apologetic to confused to ashamed and then to being annoyed in a matter of minutes.

Surely this wasn’t normal, right? What kind of power do you hold that you could make him easily shift moods? For a moment, he considers the possibility of you casting a genjutsu on him but quickly dismisses the thought when he senses that your chakra flow is normal.

You quickly notice his annoyance and you immediately feel bad for your actions. “‘M sorry,” you mumble with a pout, looking down on your feet.

The apology softens the Hyuga boy immediately. He’s never really heard you address him so sincerely and without malice all throughout this conversation, or ever. But he’s seen you do this with your other friends; he’s seen you readily set aside your pride for them. Your friends admittedly claimed that this was one of your traits that makes you so special whenever they tried coaxing him to talk to you and befriend you.

Unexpectedly, Neji smiles. It was truly a rare sight, and it was directed to you. You feel your heart flutter.

“I-I should, uhm, head home,” you internally cringe at the way you stuttered the words.

“What about Ino and Sakura?”

“Ah, I’m pretty sure they’ve gone ahead when I left.”

“And Kiba won’t pick you up?”

“Nope. He’s somewhere doing god knows what.”

Neji gives a contemplative stare.

“Anyway, I think you already know that we won’t be able to talk properly since I’m drunk, so I’ll go now. Let’s talk some other time, I guess. Bye!” You say a little too fast.

“Wait! Let me walk you home.”

You huff. “Do whatever you want.”

Silence follows after that. You’re particularly happy that the walk to your home is quick since you aren’t sure how to act around Neji.

He walks you until the door and you quickly mumble a thanks and shut the door.

As soon as the door is shut, you immediately slump to the floor, dropping your facade along the way.

The fact of the matter is that you don’t hate Neji. It’s quite the opposite actually. You just don’t know how to express your feelings properly.

For a moment you wish you could be like Hinata who’s content at watching Naruto from the sidelines. You, however, instead of feeling content, you’re furious. Because there’s nothing you hate more than what you can’t have. And this is what your face chooses to express whenever Neji is around, which is why you couldn’t blame your friends or other people for that matter when they assumed you hated him. You just went along with them, to save face.

The white lie was furthered by their observation that you don’t talk to him. To your defense, it’s not that you don’t want to talk to him, it’s just that you can’t. Your mind literally goes haywire.

Just like in your conversation earlier. When you first cut him off, and blurted out the first thing on your mind.

You should take that as a compliment.

What your mind wanted to say is: You should take that as a compliment because even when I’m drunk, it’s you I keep on thinking about.

Not to mention how embarrassing it was when you asked if he’s single and thought that that was so much worse than being in a relationship. Because how can he be allowed to be single when he’s just so gorgeous it actually hurts?

You bang your head against the door a couple of times in frustration.

Unbeknownst to you, Neji is still standing on the other side of the door, dumbfounded by how fast you shut it in front of his face. Just as he’s about to walk away, he hears a whack on the door. His mind immediately assumes you got hurt. As he raises his hand to knock on your door, he stills at the sound of your voice.

“Stupid Neji and his stupidly gorgeous face, ruining my life by not being mine.”

[asagimeta]

The time has come again to remind everyone that good queer representation does not necessarily equal morally good queer characters

I’ve heard that apparently there’s a renaissance of anti-Hannibal going on lately? And that + the rise in popularity of media like Helluva Boss and Killing Eve, and the addition of more openly queer charectors in existing media- from comic book based media to long-running shows like American Horror Story- I feel like this needs to be said again- not necessarily by me but I posted about it way back when Hannibal originally aired it’s finale so I figure, what the hell

Good representation =/= morally good characters

You can have both, absolutely, but you can also have them separate, and you can have all combinations of the reverse too

Ofcourse, to be clear right in the beginning, what counts as “good” representation vs “bad” reputation is going to vary from person to person, everything from life experiences to media exposure to personal opinions will dictate where you land on the sliding scale of “good” or “bad”, someone who’s consumed quite alot of queer-focused media, for example, is going to have a very different opinion than someone who’s only seen one background gay in a TV show that one time, and someone who’s a really huge fan of horror is going to have a much different opinion than someone who’s only a fan of lighter-hearted fair

With that said, in my personal opinion, the measure of good vs bad representation relies less on the character and more on the presentation of said character- less, not entirely

To get what I mean, here’s the best example I can think of:

Castiel from Supernatural is, objectively, a good charactor- if nothing else he’s morally good by most standards, certainly by the time season 15 rolls around, but his canonically queer presentation is just.... horrible, horrible representation and I’ve only met literally one person myself who disagreed with that

Cas is presented as being a really tragic figure right from the start of his coming out- the one thing in the world that would make him truly happy for even a single moment is confessing that he’s in love with Dean, even if Dean rejects him, just saying it is enough, that is..... sad

If it had been framed differently, it actually could have been very good representation, in a “I don’t need you to validate me, I’m being honest about who I am for the first time in my life and that’s enough, I’m enough” way, but it wasn’t, it was framed as pining, as “Even if you don’t love me, my acknowledging openly that I love you is enough to make me happy”, and again that could have worked if framed differently but.... it’s followed up by the infamous “Gay angels go to Super Mega Turbo Hell” thing and like.... no....

Cas is a good character who is queer, he is not a good queer character, because his existence as a queer character lasted less than five minutes and was immediately followed by literally going to what’s worse than hell for expressing his queerness

There is no way I can express the amount of levels of Bad that is, to say nothing of how Dean treats the entire experience for like.... ever... from there on out

But now let’s look at Hannibal, who is objectively a pretty bad character morally- he’s stupendously written but yeah I mean look the dude eats people there’s just no getting around that

But I would argue that he’s excellent queer representation because of how he was presented

Hannibal’s sexuality is never defined, for starters, there’s never a “very special episode” moment where he has some long-winded coming out speech, in fact we don’t quite know how he identifies but because he’s written so artfully we don’t really need to, his exact sexuality doesn’t feel like it needs to be known because, frankly, not much personal information is known about Hannibal anyway, and sexuality feels like one of those arbitrary things that he wouldn’t really care about defining

And that’s the other thing- he’s far from sexless and yet he places no emphasis on sex, he isn’t hypersexualized but he also isn’t being kept as a Ken doll to preserve the message of gay purity (because I don’t know apparently there’s a Thing some people have about how gay people aren’t allowed to be sexual???) he’s just... a person

And that’s really what it comes down to that makes him great, he’s a person first and queer second... or third.... or fourth or fifth.... it never defines who he is, it’s just part of who he is, and regardless of your opinion on Hannibal specifically, I think that is something most queer people strive for in representation

It’s great to have stories that are focused on queerness but it’s equally exhausting to only be able to have characters who’s lives revolve around their sexualities, it’s nice to go into media and go “Oh that character that I already like for these reasons is also queer, that’s so cool!”

Hannibal also skillfully side-steps stereotypes, despite falling into the category of being “polite, thin, and neat”, despite loving fine wine and fine art and fine culture, he never feels like a flamboyant theater kid with a decoration-diploma, wich is how alot of queer characters in this category can feel

His story is about alot of things and his relationship with Will is at the center of much of it, but that relationship didn’t become explicitly queer until the show was almost over- not because it was sudden or poorly written but because it was a slow build up, wich is also refreshing, as alot of times it feels like queer characters are made as explicitly queer as they’re allowed to be as quickly as they’re able to be on screen so that the show can grab those important Representation Brownie Points from episode one and either introduce a Manwhore or a Uhaul Lesbian right away and just kind of leave them in that trope until “someone comes along and changes that” or whatever, I don’t even know what straight writers do half the time, but Hannibal- as a show and a charactor- doesn’t do that, he’s just allowed to exist and tell his story, and THAT is good representation

With the heavy-handed example over with though, I want to tackle the biggest part of this entire “debate” that makes me interested in it:

Queer people are allowed to be bad people

Queer people are allowed to be lazy and unattractive and non-political and angry and jealous and yes, “bad” and evil too

Wile I DEFINITELY prefer to have morally good characters- especially after literally a century of rarely getting more than The Evil Homosexual stereotype and all it’s kin- I also don’t like the direction some people are taking this where queer people are only “allowed” to be 100% morally flawless and good and righteous at all times because it’s just so unrealistic, and because it does the exact same thing that the opposite stereotype does: Puts queer people in a box, makes us a decoration for the straight cast so that the creators get Representation Brownie Points and can’t get yelled at on Twitter, and treats us like we’re some other species (and not in the cool way like werewolves but more like... well, decorations, as I’ve said before)

And if you’re worried about the way straight-cis people perceive us due to seeing evil queer characters, you should be equally worried about how they perceive us seeing nothing but morally flawless ones

I could get into An Entire Thing about the history of Straights trying to turn queer people into what they want us to be and present an inaccurate depiction of us to their brethren for their own benefit but I’ll make it relatively simple

The old way of keeping The Queers away from their Innocent Straight Children was to turn us into villains so that we would be ashamed of who we really are and hide ourselves and pretend to be The Good Christian Folk nextdoor and not get overly political or loud or different

The new way of keeping The Queers away from their Innocent Straight Children is to turn us into sexless Ken & Barbie stereotypes so we can be ashamed of who we really are and pretend to be The Good Christian Folk nextdoor and not get overly political or loud or different

By sterilizing queerness into something they find more “acceptable”, they’re doing the same thing they used to, but now through a lens of “Aren’t you happy you get what you want? You can get married now! You can hold hands in public! Just make sure not to do any of that other crazy stuff you people get up to and you can stay at the Civil Rights Table :)”, we’re still not “allowed” to be sexual human beings, it’s just framed in a way that makes us feel like the people shunning us are on our side wile those same people are still in the corner going “Just don’t kiss in public ok?”

And I could go On about this for some time but let’s get back to the point-

Queer people are three-dimensional people and we should be allowed to be so, we should be allowed to have characterization outside of The Gay Love Interest and The Gay BFF and The Gay Butler and so on, outside of the stereotypes being imposed on us

That’s one of the main reasons I love Yuri On Ice so much, and love Batwoman so much.... and one of the main reasons I love Hannibal and Harley Quinn and Helluva Boss and Killing Eve so much, all of these things star queer characters and queer relationships to different degrees (Batwoman, for example, makes a MUCH larger point and political stance about queerness than, say, Hannibal) and they’re all about something other than queerness too, the charecters are three-dimensional and they’re not built around their sexualities or side peices for straight people

And none of them are PUNISHED for their sexualities either

Going back to Castiel earlier, stereotypes are hardly the worst of our worries when Burry Your Gays, Gayngst Induced Suicide, and Gay Guy Dies First are still alive and well- among others

From Frank N’ Furter in Rocky Horror Picture Show to Tara in Buffy The Vampire Slayer to, oh look, it’s Supernatural again with not just Cas, but also Charlie, and even arguably Dean (but that’s a much longer story for a much different time) and many many more... sometimes just having any gay charecter live through a franchise is enough on it’s own- setting the bar awfully low there but it’s still hard for a shamefully large amount of franchises to step over

In some cases like Tara, it can be pretty decently argued that the death has little- if anything- to do with queerness, but in examples like Cas and Frank, it’s pretty blatantly obvious, especially when the other queer characters in their respective franchises didn’t exactly fair well either....

Matt Baume put it best when he said that until recently, you had to choose if you wanted your only source of representation to be dead or evil, and most people chose evil

Now-a-days that’s clearly not the case as much but there’s still a heavy enough flavor of it there- and villains are just part of gay culture, dating all the way back to prohibition, queer people identified as outlaws because we literally were, so pirates and cowboys and other anti-heros and villains became a staple of the culture that’s still very much alive to this day, thus leading to another point: Identification

Straight people can identify with pretty much whoever they want- from superheros to princesses to any and every kind of villain

Tony Soprano is a horrible, horrible person but is notorious for being beloved among straight white males because he’s a projection of who they want to be- powerfull (and wealthy)

Stolas from Helluva Boss actually presents a pretty similar power fantasy, he’s part of a family who lives outside the larger part of the law, he can kill (nearly) anyone he pleases, he’s physically and socially powerfull, he’s wealthy, he has a nuclear family, he gets to screw around with whoever he wants with the only one taking issue being his wife, the only real difference is that Stolas is queer (and much more fashionable... and pleasant)

Queer people should be allowed to have those power fantasies as much as straight people are

Speaking as a bisexual female myself, I absolutely ADORE Villanelle from Killing Eve, I really don’t care that she’s a bitch or has killed an uncountable amount of people, it’s fun to project on her, and seeing a very flawed woman fall in love and be vulnerable and open herself up to a relationship and get that relationship with another woman is AMAZING to me, that doesn’t make the relationship it’s self healthy or good, but it’s still fun to watch and plays further into that identification

I love Korra and Asami from Legend Of Korra, they’re a sweet, wholesome relationship between two sweet, wholesome characters and I adore them... but I’m allowed to adore Eve and Villanelle too, even if the relationship is toxic and the characters have baggage and Villanelle is literally a serial killer

Ofcourse enjoying something doesn’t make it “good”, I enjoy alot of trash B rated (and C rated) horror movies too, it doesn’t mean I think they deserve Oscars (if that’s really the measuring stick we’re going to use), but I think when it comes to representation, it’s important to distinguish the difference between good queer character and a moral queer character, they just... aren’t the same

Light Yagami from Death Note, Bill from Kill Bill, and Joker from Batman are all just... horrible, horrible people, there’s no doubting that, they are morally terrible... but my god are they fantastic charecters- they’re interesting, they’re three dimensional (even if only occasionally in the Joker’s case), they’re well written and complex, there’s a reason why they’re iconic and why they’re still talked about decades after their introduction into the world, they are GREAT characters who are morally bad, and characters like Hannibal and Villlanelle are in that boat too, they just so happen to be queer- and there’s what it all boils down to

People being queer, not queer people

Some of the most beloved examples above like Yuri On Ice and Legend Of Korra are praised for being about people who are queer, people who have stories focused on other things and are just allowed to exist without their sexualities defining them, and the same should be said and appreciated for villains who are queer too

In an age where so much queer-focused media is about tragedy (the period lesbian dramas and Gayngst teen media for example), and so much of it is focused on the same exact aspects of queer life (coming out, dating around, getting or being married, but mostly coming out), it’s great to have characters who just so happen to be queer without those things being the center of their storylines- and without them being canon fodder or the Gay BFF, or being a terrible stereotype from the 90s that just won’t die...

And that by no means is to say you have to like these characters- not at all, there are PLENTY of objectively good/well-written queer characters who I don’t like for whatever reason- but to call them bad representation just because they’re bad people is sweeping ALOT under the rug

And I know I’ve harped alot on avoiding queer-centered storylines like coming out stories and relationship dramas, but those are fine, they have their place just like everything else, really, they just don’t need to have the only place- that does a disservice to so many other types of queer stories- for the heroes and the villains, because morality and goodness have nothing to do with one’s sexuality, just like one’s sexuality has nothing to do with morality and goodness

[brokenbeskar]

Negotiator

Chapter Three of Memories Reforged ( Din Djarin x F!Reader )

Word Count: 5.8k

Summary: You finally make it to Nevarro to cash out your bounty, but end up revealing some details about yourself in the process  

Warnings: some talks of gender (Din mistakenly uses the wrong pronouns for you, you correct him later), suicidal ideation (reader was saved from death but wishes they hadn’t been) 

A/N:  you finally get to reveal a bit more of yourself in this one!!!  I hope you all like it! as always let me know if you see any mistakes or anything!

Somehow, you’ve never been to Nevarro. You’ve been to most of the Outer Rim at this point, but you’ve never stepped foot on this volcanic planet. You weren’t really sure what to expect, but two people waiting to greet the insufferable mandalorian you were traveling with, was definitely not one of them. 

“Mando!” The unfamiliar man extends his arms out in welcome as the ramp to the ship lowers fully, the shiny mandalorian nodding in response as he descends. “And how's my favorite baby doing?” The stranger leans forward to smile widely at the baby in the mandalorian’s arms and give him a little wave. The baby coos happily back at him, reaching out to mimic his wave. 

“It’s good to see you both alive and well.” The woman next to the both of them gives the mandalorian’s shoulder a rough pat, and he nods back in her direction too. Apparently that's the only way he knows to greet people back. 

You stand there awkwardly, but mostly surprised. He has friends? People who are happy to see him? You have been dreading every second you’ve had to spend alone with this reflective asshole, how could anyone actually enjoy his company? It's probably the baby. They only like him for the baby. Yeah, that makes more sense. 

“And who’s this you have with you? Care to introduce us to your friend here?” You’re snapped out of your thoughts and realize everyone is looking at you, the stranger man giving you a welcoming smile. You start to descend the ramp yourself so as to not be rude, stopping just besides the mandalorian you arrived with.

“He’s here on guild business. We’re splitting a reward.” He nods in your direction, but you're confused. Was he talking about you? Like...he nodded in your direction while talking about you, but ‘he’? It must have been a mistake. You ignore it and don’t say anything. 

“Splitting a reward?” The stranger man spits out, shocked. “What for?” 

“I ran into him on Jakku. He helped me take down the bomber and we agreed to split the reward in exchange for travel.” The mandalorian explains. You tilt your helmet up to look at him questioningly. First of all, you helped him? Oh he's got it all wrong, he tried to steal the bomber from you. And second, why does he keep referring to you as ‘he’? Suddenly it dawns on you--your helmet. He’s seen what you look like without your helmet, and you're half his size, but despite that he’s picking pronouns based on what your helmet tells him.

This helmet wasn’t made for you, it bears the masculine T shape visor, instead of the more rounded feminine shape traditional in mandalorian armor. It’s really the only distinguishing factor, mandalorian culture doesn’t really care for individuality. It doesn't matter who you are, just that you’re a strong warrior. Hell even all of the pronouns in mando’a are gender neutral. Well, you still don’t like him, but at least he’s respectful.

“Well, if that's the case, lets go inside to talk business. Forgive me for my lack of manners, I’m Greef Karga.” He turns to you, and places his hand over his chest as he introduces himself, before notioning to the woman next to him, “And this is Marshal Cara Dune.” 

You nod in return to the both of them, offering your own name readily. “It’s a pleasure to meet the both of you.” The both of them look surprised, confused you just gave your name, and that just confuses you. 

“Well, I guess we don’t have to worry about figuring out a distinction between the two of you now, do we?” Karga chuckles out. You just look between the two of them, then to the mandalorian besides you. Weren’t they friends? Did he never bother to introduce himself? That doesn't make sense to you. You decide to let it go for now, you’ll ask him about it later. 

You follow as Greef Karga leads the group of you through the city. It’s far nicer than you were expecting considering you know guild operations were being run here. There were bustling shops and children running and playing, the smell of food from nearby stalls filled the air. Colorful tapestries and awnings lined the streets, shops selling all kinds of fanciful wares.This isn’t what you were expecting at all. Cara’s marshal status must be no joke, she must be half the reason this place is running as smoothly as it is. She ends up having to part with your group halfway into town to deal with something. She’s polite when she excuses herself and makes a point to mention that it was nice to meet you before she heads out. She’s nice. Her strong exterior is only strengthened by her winning smile. You wonder how her and the mandalorian met, how they ended up friends.

The rest of your group makes it to the nearby cantina and settle at a table. The baby has fallen asleep in the pouch the mandalorian is carrying. You’re a bit surprised how nice it is inside, it's not a dirty grimy bar, but a more respectable establishment. This was clearly a place of business. 

“So,” Karga starts, “I understand you're a guild member, but I don’t recognize you.” He folds his hands together on the table between you.

“My usual outpost is on Carajam.” You explain as you pull out your bounty puck and slide it onto the table in front of you. The mandalorian next to you takes out his several pucks and puts them onto the table next to yours.

“Ahh, I see, Carajam. Quite the hub that one is.” he nods gathering the pucks infront of him, but pausing before he grabs yours. “Unfortunately, I can only cash out one of these.” He holds up the mandalorian’s puck for the bomber up, “So I’ll split the reward for this one between the two of you.” “Cash mine out instead.” You nod in the direction of your puck on the table. 

Karga raises an eyebrow at you, “yours? I’m sorry my friend, but there's no difference. The rewards are the same.” 

“Check it, they’re not the same.” You lean back in your seat, getting comfortable. Karga looks confused as he picks up your puck instead. He activates it, and looks down at the flickering image in shock. He notions to one of the guards stationed nearby and they appear at his side almost instantly with a holopad. 

“How did you get a commission price this high? On such a low level bounty too…” His voice trails off as he navigates through the menus of the holopad. 

You just shrug, “Just really good at catching bounties I guess.” You relax even further, leaning an arm over on the back of your booth. Your body language is oozing confidence. He just hums lowly to himself while he continues to fiddle around on the holopad. 

“I assume you use a different name for guild operations?” He looks up at you and you freeze. You haven’t had to mention your old alias in years. Your regular contact knows you well enough that you never have to supply it.

“I do. You can take it off my puck.” You try to keep cool, notioning towards the puck still sitting on the table. “It’s a guild bounty, it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“I wouldn’t be a problem if I knew you maybe.” He lowers the holopad and sets it on the table before leaning forward in his seat, “I’m sorry my friend, but this is my first time meeting you, I’ve got rules to follow you know. I need to verify that it's actually your puck, and not a stolen one.” You tense at the accusation, turning the gaze of your visor to the floor beside your booth. 

“This is ridiculous,” you spit out, “that's my puck, and that's my bounty frozen in carbonite. Just give me the reward.” You can’t help how defensive you sound. You really don’t want to say it outloud. It’s such a simple thing, but it feels too painful, and quite frankly you're embarrassed. Especially considering the mandalorian next to you. You realize you’re probably coming off as suspicious at this point, but you don't care. There's no way anyone could understand how difficult just saying the name he gave you out loud actually is for you.

“Look, I’m not trying to be difficult,” he reasons, changing his tone to try and sound more genuine, “But I’ll have to cash in Mando’s puck instead of yours if you won’t give me your registered name.” Your whole body is tense now. The confidence that once oozed off of you is gone. Your struggle to give up your alias is obvious to anyone, even with your helmet still on. 

Finally you sigh, you can’t afford to lose those credits. “It's Laar Sennar.” You breathe out, quieter than you want. You think maybe it was too quiet for anyone to actually hear you, but then you notice the mandalorian next to you, snap the gaze of his visor to you, and you know he heard. His gaze also confirms your suspicion that he knows mando’a. Of course he does, what mandalorian doesn’t?

“Thank you, Laar Sennar. See? Wasn’t so hard was it?” Karga smiles at you then picks the holopad back up to look you up. “And there you are!” He exclaims when he finds you and looks over your file. The smile on his face fades, and before he says anything you already know what he sees, “Oh, I’m sorry about your partner.” He looks up from the holopad and gives you a compassionate look. 

Despite knowing it was coming, it still stings in your chest. Just like your alias, no one mentioned him anymore unless by accident, and even that was rare. “It's fine.” Is all you can muster, but even that comes out short and forced, your hurt clearly audible in your response. You’re making an absolute fool of yourself, are these credits even worth it? You let out the lightest sigh. You’re not even sure it registers through your helmet’s modulator, but that would be for the best. 

“Well, now that I’ve confirmed this puck to be yours,” Karga sets a stack of credits on the table in front of you and the silent wall of beskar next to you, and splits them in half, sliding each in their respective directions, “here are your credits. Mando, here’s your reward for your other pucks.” He pulls out some more credits and slides them over to the mandalorian next to you. “Now in regards to new jobs, I’ve got a few options. However…,” he pauses as he shifts his gaze between the both of you, “Perhaps if the two of you were willing to work together again...I’ve got a bigger job I could give you.” 

“Bigger how?” The mandalorian next to you speaks for the first time in what seems like forever, and you're surprised this is what makes him speak. Was he actually considering working with you? The thought of being forced to work with him again sounds awful, it would take way more credits than Karga is about to offer you for you to take it.

“Sixty Thousand. For each of you.” You think you choke on air. Sixty thousand credits?! Suddenly working with this shiny tincan of a man doesn’t sound so bad afterall. Karga pulls out the puck and sets it on the table, “It’s not an easy job, you’ll have to work together to make sure he doesn’t escape, or you’ll be chasing him across the galaxy. Bit of a slippery one, this one is.” 

“We’ll take it.” You blurt out before you even discuss it with your newly established business partner. Sixty thousand credits is too good to pass up. You look up to gauge his reaction, but he's staring directly at you already. Shit, he’s going to decline it, you just know he is. You should have known, he probably hates being around you just as much as you hate being around him. You are each just a nuisance the other can’t quite seem to shake off. Much to your surprise however, he reaches out and grabs the puck off the table, pocketing it. A silent agreement. He accepted the job. Oh thank the maker. 

“It’s settled then! I’m only giving you the one job for now, come back to me when you’ve completed it and I’ll give you new ones. This one might take you both awhile.” Karga smiles brightly at you both. “Regardless, I hope the both of you will stay in Nevarro a bit longer? I can provide lodging if it means Mando here will grace us with his company awhile.” 

You go to respond, but ‘Mando’ himself interrupts before you even start, “We’ll only be staying long enough for a supply run. We’ll be gone by sundown. Could you have my ship fueled up before then?” 

Karga frowns at that, “Honestly Mando, when is it anything other than business with you? But of course.” He turns his gaze to you, “Well it was a pleasure to meet you, I hope to see you back on Nevarro soon.” He gives you a hearty smile, and you give him  a nod in response. 

“Likewise. Until next time.” You stand to leave with a wave to Karga and your new hunting partner follows out behind you. 

“I’m surprised you seemed so excited to take the job.” He states amusement seeping into his tone. 

“It’s like you said, Five thousand credits isn’t enough for a ship.” You shrug back at him. “Looks like we’re stuck together for a little while longer, shiny.” You continue to walk besides him passing through the main road of the city, scanning the shops for anything important. You stop at one shop in particular and start loading up on medical supplies, throwing them onto the counter. When the shopkeep tells you the price, you turn to look at your new business partner expectantly. “Well? You got paid out a lot more than I did.” You nod towards where he pocketed his credits earlier. “You turned in 4 pucks, I only had one.” You remind him. He grumbles something before throwing some credits over to the shop keep, and turning to leave before you can finish scooping up your goods. “You better be pitching in for fuel.” He grunts out as you catch up to him. 

“For a trip you would have made regardless if I came along?” You scoff, “Absolutely not.” He just shakes his helmet lightly, clearly frustrated with you. You continue on your way picking up supplies for the trip, there's three of you on one ship now, so you wanted to make sure you were prepared for anything. 

---------

“You know mando’a?” He asks suddenly while you're silently browsing a weapons stall, and it completely catches you off guard. You feel yourself tense up at the question, but you hope it's nothing obvious. 

“Bits and pieces,” You reply cooly, “As most who know it do. It’s a dying language after all.” You shrug, never turning to look at him as you lean forward and continue to look through the various blades and blasters laid out in front of you. You hope that will be the end of it, but he keeps going. 

“Your alias,” He starts, but pauses. You figure he's trying to find the right way to ask you about it, “Interesting choice.” Is what he settles on. You can’t help but let out an amused huff.

“I didn’t pick it,” you confess lightly, and you look ever so slightly over your shoulder to see he's staring right at you, waiting for you to continue. You stand up straight from where you were inspecting the weapons table, “It was given to me. A sort of…” you hum lightly to yourself trying to think of the words to describe it, “A sort of pet name I guess.” You smile underneath your helmet at the memory and turn to leave the weapons stall, deciding against getting anything.

“Pet name?” he questions, and the baby starts to fuss in the pouch on his hip. He pulls Grogu out of it, carrying him in his armored arm. The baby coos lightly as he blinks away the sleep in his eyes. You turn and tap the baby’s nose causing him to giggle, your new favorite habit you can never seem to resist. 

“Mhmm,” you finally reply with a nod. “Ner kih laar sennar…” You speak out wistfully looking out at the ashy sky above you, “My little song bird...that's what he used to call me.” You scoff at how ridiculous it sounds out loud in basic, kicking a stray pebble beneath your boot in embarrassment, but the smile under your helmet never fading. You remember the first time he said it to you, how it took your breath away. It sounded so beautiful in his native language, you craved to hear him say it everyday. “When I enlisted as an official guild member it was the only thing I could think of.” You can't help but let out a laugh, you remember it clear as day. Your guild contact had asked what you wanted to be registered under, and in your panic you just--blurted it out. You’ll never forget the way he turned to you in shock, or how relentlessly he teased you about it afterwards. You’ll never forget his confession, when he had admitted how he loved the way mando’a sounded coming from your lips, and how happy he was that was the name you chose for yourself. The name he gave to you.

You’re broken out of your thoughts and back to the present when the baby starts fussing again, whining and reaching out towards something. You turn your gaze toward what he's looking at, and it’s a large, seemingly handymade, frog toy. You immediately rush over to the stall, it's full of trinkets and miscellaneous items, but there were also a lot of things for children. You pick up the stuffed frog and hold it out to the baby in the mandalorians arms. He excitedly babbles and reaches to take it from you.

“You like this one, little bug? You think shiny here should get it for you?” you bounce the toy frog up and down in your hands as if you’re speaking through it and Grogu nearly shrieks with happiness, “yeah? I agree!” You nod and turn your visor to meet the mandalorian’s and you can tell he's annoyed with you. “Well? You heard the baby!” You scold, “Better hand over those credits quickly!” you turn back to the merchant after handing the toy to Grogu and pick out some  other children's toys. A small bag of blocks, some wax coloring sticks, and a colorful rubber ball that fits perfectly in your palm. “These too please,” you show the items to the merchant, and start to put them in your bag before something else catches your eye, “ohh! And two of these!” You quickly grab a couple wrapped candy bars, one for you and one for the baby.

If you’re being honest with yourself you don’t really want one, but you know this is irritating him. The fact you are so willing to spend his credits for him without asking, you can feel him seething with anger behind you...and you live for it. You turn to face him, “oh! I’m so sorry…,” you tilt your helmet at him pretending to be sympathetic, sarcasm oozing from your modulated voice, “did you want one too?” 

The beskar clad man says nothing, just threateningly towers over you while the baby happily coos in his arms. You can feel the absolute seething anger he’s exuding right now, and you're sure if you were anyone else, you would be terrified. Kriff, you probably should be terrified anyways, you’re about to be alone with this man on his ship for who knows how long, but he doesn't scare you. In fact, the threatening way his visor is burning a hole into yours just fuels you to keep going, “Make that three!” You nod to the merchant and grab another candy bar from the stall, before turning to leave and continue on your way. You can’t help but chuckle to yourself as you hear the shiny idiot curse under his breath before practically throwing the credits onto the merchants table and catching up to you. 

“I’m not made of credits.” He hisses out at you. 

“Oh, I know.” You nod in agreement. “But look how happy he is!” You motion to the baby who is absolutely thrilled playing with his brand new toy, a luxury he's been lacking for who knows how long now. “He’s worth every spare credit. Aren’t you, Bean?” You wiggle your pointer finger at him but he's too engrossed in his new plaything to notice. 

Making it back to the ship, you take the baby from the mandalorian and make a head start to the cockpit while he hands over even more credits to the one who's just finished fueling up the ship. You can’t help but snicker to yourself at your own mischievous behavior as you settle into your seat with the baby in your lap. You really just did that. This man was still a complete stranger to you and yet you just practically spent all of his newfound credits for him. That’s definitely payback for the sudden babysitting job he threw at you on Corellia, you guess you can call it even for now. Besides, how can anyone deny this precious little guy anything? You grab the floppy arm of the frog toy and wave it at the excited baby in your arms. 

The mandalorian eventually arrives back into the cockpit with the two of you, irritation still apparent by the way he not-so-subtly stomps his way to the pilots seat. He doesn’t say a word as he initiates takeoff, lifting the ship off the ground and making its way through the atmosphere. 

“You’re paying the next time we fill up.” He grunts out as he warps the ship into hyperspace. 

“Fair enough.” You nod, continuing to play with the baby in your lap, “I’ve had my fun.” 

“Oh, that's what you consider fun?” He sounds far less than amused and you can’t help the chuckle that escapes your lips. 

“After what you pulled on me landing in Corellia? Oh yeah.” you nod again for emphasis. 

“Trying to humiliate me in front of my bounty wasn’t enough?” He turns his seat to face you. 

“Try to? Oh no, I definitely humiliated you.” you correct him, and you’re almost disappointed you still have your helmet on because he can’t see the sly grin proudly spread across your face. He just sighs and turns back towards the front of the ship. “Don’t worry though, I think we can call it even now.” 

“Thank the maker.” The utter sarcasm and annoyance he has for you weighs heavy on his words, and more than anything, it only satisfies you further. 

“Oh cheer up tin can! Here--,” You rifle through your go bag on the floor next to your seat and pull out the candy bars from earlier. You hold one out to him, “Here's yours.” 

“Keep it.” He doesn’t even look at it. Was he really that mad at you? 

“Suit yourself.” You shrug and tug off your helmet, tucking it next to you opposite of the baby. You open one and break it in half, giving one half to the baby, and wrapping the remaining half back in its wrapper. The last thing you need is to give this kid a sugar rush while you're stuck in hyperspace. You tuck it back in your bag, along with the one meant for the bitter loser next to you. You unwrap yours and take a bite when you realize--you haven’t seen the mandalorian eat once since you’ve been together. In fact, you haven't seen him take off his helmet at all. “When’s the last time you ate?” You take another bite.

“Last night. While you were sleeping.” While you were sleeping? Kriff this guy is weird.

“What? You don’t trust me enough to take your helmet off around me? We’re business partners now. I’m not going to kill you...not that the helmet would prevent me from doing so anyways.” 

“I don’t trust you,” You’re about to make a snide comment back in response as you take another bite of your candy bar, but he cuts you off, “But that's not why.” He never breaks his gaze from the cockpit window. Now you're confused, what the hell does that mean? 

“What's the reason then?” You question.

“My creed.” How he manages to answer your questions without actually explaining anything never ceases to piss you off. 

“Your creed?” you try to emphasize the confusion in your tone, hoping he will actually explain something to you, but he just nods in response. “What creed?” Maker, he is so absolutely frustrating. You put the rest of your candy bar away, no longer interested.

“The way of the Mandalore.” You’re hoping he will keep going, but you should have known better by this point. You truly have no kriffing idea what he's talking about. 

“What? So you won’t take your helmet off in front of me because you’re a mandalorian? That doesn't make sense. I knew a mandalorian, quite well mind you, and I’ve never heard of that before. He took off his helmet all the time.” This is only getting more and more confusing and his short responses are only making things worse.

“This is The Way.” He nods to himself as if he's making perfect sense. Only, he's not making any sense at all. 

“Is this...creed...the same reason your friends back on Nevarro don’t know your name?” He nods again. You just stare at him, confusion lined all over your face. This is nothing like any mandalorian you knew. Not that you knew many of them. You knew mandalorians were held by a creed, but you’ve never heard of it being that intense. “So okay…,” you look around the cockpit trying to think of a way to ask more, “I’m sorry, please explain this to me, I don’t want to be disrespectful.” For some reason, that statement is the one he decides is worth looking at you for. 

“To call myself a mandalorian, to wear the beskar, I took the creed as a child. Gave up my name, vowed to never show my face to anyone. A creed I must follow if I’m to continue to wear this armor, continue to be a mandalorian. It’s the reason I have to return the child to his kind. This is what it means to be a mandalorian, this is The Way.” He says every word like his soul rests in each of them. This is the most this mysterious man has ever spoken to you, and it’s with such a passion, such conviction. 

You’re almost afraid to ask anymore questions. As much as you don’t like this guy, you have a lot of respect for how important this clearly is to him. You know mandalorians are big on tradition, and they each had a pretty strict code of honor, the Resol'nare. To stop following that code, to stop being a mandalorian for whatever reason was to lose your soul, “dar’manda” it was called. But this? This was on a whole other level. 

“So...do--do all mandalorians take this...creed?” You try to ask carefully, you don’t want to overstep any boundaries you might not be aware of. This creed he took, it was clearly about secrecy, you weren’t sure if even asking about it might be going too far.

“I thought so…,” He looks back out the window pausing and taking a breath before continuing, “But I recently learned that wasn’t the case.” You nod in understanding, taking your gaze off him and instead to the helmet resting under your arm. 

“Thank you...uh for explaining…” You’re trying to sound genuine but you’re pretty sure it just comes off awkward. He doesn’t say anything and you feel like the silence between the two of you is suffocating. You’re used to quiet, it doesn’t bother you usually, but this? This kind of quiet was different and you hated it. Not even the baby was making noise, He was slowly drifting off in your arms, and you’re almost tempted to rile him up again even if it's only to save you from the stifling silence. Almost. 

“Your hunting partner,” His low modulated voice suddenly breaks the silence, and you would be thankful if it weren’t for the subject matter, “They’re the one that gave you your alias?” 

You nod slowly, still peering at the helmet under your arm. “That who you got the armor from?” 

“Yeah.” You nod again and you force a sad smile more at the helmet than the man speaking to you. Hunting partner...you could almost laugh. If only that's all he was to you, maybe it would hurt a whole lot less that he was gone. 

The mandalorian finally looks at you again, “Were you...an item?” It’s his turn to struggle in the same way you did, trying to ask his questions without being disrespectful. This time you actually laugh, it barely comes out, but it's there. 

“He was my husband.” You finally admit it to him, you aren’t sure why you’re finally comfortable enough to tell him. Maybe it's because of how vulnerable he was about his creed. 

“Your husband was a mandalorian?” What a stupid question

“Yes, yes he was.” You gaze out the cockpit window at the smear of stars flying past you in hyperspace. 

“That's why you keep the armor?” More stupid questions. Marker, this guy really was a dumbass. You left out a sad sigh. 

“His armor is all I have left of him. I wear it to remember him, to honor him.” Your gaze meets the visor already staring at you. The stars reflecting strongly off the top of his helmet. “I will die before I let anyone take it from me. I’ll take this beskar to my grave...a creed of my own I guess.” You shift your gaze to the now sleeping baby in your arms and slowly, gently, stroke the top of his fuzzy head. You haven’t spoken about your late husband out loud in--maker, you don’t even know how long. It hurts. Your chest is aching, still just as painful as the day he left you. “He died a warrior's death. Just what every mandalorian hopes for I guess…” You can’t help but sound bitter. You sigh, “I was supposed to die with him,” You admit. You aren’t sure why you're still talking, it’s not like he asked you. Maybe it's been too long since you’ve spoken about him, you just can’t help yourself, “But he saved me.” You shake your head, and take a deep breath. “I don’t know why he did, I never got to ask, I never got the chance to even argue,” You scoff, “I wanted to die with him...but he saved me.” 

The mandalorian next to you just continues to watch you as you pour your heart out. You wonder if he can tell how much it still hurts. How hard it is for you to talk about it, even after all this time. He doesn’t seem irritated, or bored, you can’t tell what he's thinking, but he's not stopping you, so you keep going.

“He was my whole life, my oathsworn, my riduur....” The mando’a doesn’t roll off your tongue in the same way it would when he said it, and maker, you wish more than anything you could hear him say it one more time. Hear him call you his Sen’ika, his cyare, mesh’la, anything. What you would give to hear him speak those sweet words to you again. “I was to stay by his side no matter where he went--and to me that meant even in death. I was prepared to follow him in death...but he took that from me, and next thing I knew I had to find a new life. I had nothing left…” 

You look back up to the man sitting next to you, and you suddenly feel sick. You can’t believe you just unloaded all of that onto him. You don’t know this man, you barely met him, you don't even like him, in fact you very much dislike him. Yet here you were, pouring your heart out to him about your dead husband. You feel like there's a blade in your gut, slowly turning as it gets pushed farther in. You’re utterly embarrassed. “Sorry…” You mutter out, shifting your gaze to the cockpit floor. You can’t bear to look at him. 

The mandalorian next to you doesn’t break his gaze from you. He must think you’re a fool, an utter fool, spilling your emotions onto the floor of his ship. Weak for letting your sadness sweep over you so easily. You figure he’ll never take you seriously now, throw it back in your face if you make a mistake. 

“Thank you.” He nods his visor slowly once, “for explaining.” you never expected to hear your awkward words said back to you, but as awkward as they sounded coming from you, they sound so genuine coming from him. A man who barely speaks. You meet the gaze of his visor once again, before you try to play it cool, feeling way too vulnerable.

“Don’t get used to it.” You let a small smile creep over your face. Maybe this shiny beskar clad man wasn’t so bad afterall. He doesn’t say anything, and silence fills the cockpit once again, but this time it’s not unpleasant. No longer sifling, but comfortable instead.

“She by the way,” you break it, and you look to each other once again, “I’m a she.” You smile at him, “I know my helmet says otherwise, but I’m a she.” He stares at you way too long without saying anything. It starts getting awkward real fast, until he gives you a slight nod and returns his gaze to the cockpit window. What a strange guy. You lean back and get comfortable in your seat, gently stroking Grogu’s cheek while he sleeps in your arms as the three of you warp through hyperspace. ***

Previous - MASTER - Next

[artxyra]

So I had this idea and I was wondering if you would write it. So damian has lived with his dad for a couple of years, he is 15/16 and his brothers have been nagging him about going on a date like a normal teenager for months now, and then one day he just snaps and screams at them " don't you get it I'm already betrothed!" His brothers are confused but try to help " I'm sure we can find a loophole and get you out of it!" "No. If the betrothal is broken the league will kill her."enter marinette.

Note: Well this story sounded better in my head, but it took forever to type up. I hope you enjoy it. 

Damian couldn’t remember a time when his brothers didn’t make an attempt at his love life. Every other month (sometimes weeks) it was attempt after attempt.  He hated it. At first, he humored his brothers, but that humor quickly turned to the opposite emotion. Though Damian’s biggest secret thought that it was hilarious, and it was.

Damian remembers their first attempt, he was only fourteen, been in the Waynes’ custody for almost four years. He remembers being tugged into a bathroom and then forces to wear silly fancy clothes. His brothers should have been lucky that he didn’t have his weapons on him. To them, it was to gain the high school boy experience since Damian refused to do any of the sorts. Shouldn’t they just happy that he has one friend at the very least? Nope, they really wanted Damian to have a sense of normality.

“Baby bird, every teen goes on a date. Please just do this for us.” It was Dick that had started the persuasion. Damian had only tsk and fold his arms against his chest. He was already fed up with all the bullshit spewing from the older adopted Wayne’s mouth.

“Why should I even do this? I barely know the har—girl and—” Damian begins to scowl as Dick interrupts him by tossing a vest for him to wear. He mentally gags at the texture of the vest. Damian had scene better quality, not that he’ll tell where.

“We promise it will be worth it.”  It was Tim that adds to the conversation as Jason was to busy cleaning up his knife in broad daylight.

It wasn’t long after that was the date with a Gotham native. She wasn’t up to his standards; it was clear that she didn’t want to be with him for him. To this day he suspects that she only agreed because of the money. Damian tried everything to make the date super uncomfortable for the girl even going so far as to make up an explicitly detailed gory story. She left cursing his brothers, mainly Dick, out at the end of their date.

Damian had thought that would be the one and only time that would happen…he had forgotten the stubbornness that runs in the family. Failing was not an option as this continues for another four years.

“I’m sure it was a fun date.” A female’s voice says from the screen of his laptop, that was place on his dresser as he does shadow movements with his katana.

“It was tiresome, Angel, and quite frankly I’m getting sick of it.” Damian lowers the blade to his side and turns to face the screen. On the screen is a lovely female, around his age with long dark hair that drapes over her shoulders. She lets out a giggle.

“I’m sure they have the best intentions, besides it’s not like they know I exist, anyway.” She says rolling her eyes.

“Angel, I love you, but not even you can last an evening with the dates they have set up over and over again.” Damian sighs putting up the katana. He then picks up the laptop and goes to lie on his bed.

“Well, I’m sure it will all be fine. Besides, I have a surprise for you that is coming soon. Just hold out until then. Okay?” She says with a bright as a loud sound goes off in the background. Damian sighs and nods before ending the video call. He hates keeping her a secret, but it was the right thing to do.

It was a week later when his brothers came to him with another blind date proposal signally the tenth time that has happened in a span of a month. Everyone could see the growing frustration in the young Wayne heir. With the mention of dates, couples, restaurant, manhood, romance, it would set Damian off, although he was quick to calm down with a message from an Angel.

“Look Demon spawn, she is literally perfect for you.” It was an excuse, something for him to look forward to. No one is perfect.  

“C’mon baby bird, she could be the one.” Another excuse. There was only one girl that was the one and she’s several hundred thousand miles away.

“Go, it all fancy and shit, also the NDA.” Ugh, this was becoming numbing. Damian could only wish to slide his fine blade across all their necks. Also, why the hell would Jason even mention an NDA to him in the first place?

“What is this? Another blind date for the young master?” Thank god for Alfred.

“Alfred, we promise this will be the last time.” That’s a lie and he knows it.

Damian could feel the growing headache forming at the back of his mind. Dick’s moving too fast, Tim’s giving him all the details about his so-called date, and well Jason is just being Jason.

“Enough!” Damian finally breaks. “The reason why I don’t like going on these so-called blind dates is because I’m betrothed to someone.” The word betrothed rings through the heads of his family members.

“Wha~!” Simultaneously, the older Waynes’ minds break.

“Is there any way you can break it off? A loophole even? How are you betrothed?” Shouldn’t that had been asked backward? They could all see the steam oozing out of Damian’s ears.

Crossing his arms and turning his back to his brothers, Damian looks down. “No, not unless you want a death on your hands. The only way to end a betrothal is to kill the other, that has always been the League’s away of things.” The second the last word left his lips, Damian walks away; he needs to talk with his Angel.

Still in shock, everyone turns to one another.

“How could we have missed that?” Tim screeches before taking a sip from his mug despite the shaking in his hand.

Dick was unsure what to say, think, or do. It’s not every day you learn the brother you’ve been setting up is engaged. An engagement that they could not break.

“I’m more worried who the brat is engaged too?” Jason murmurs then proceed to clean out his gun. His brothers stare at him with wide eyes unsure what to say to the second oldest.

For the next week after that bomb drop, his brothers continue to pester him about his betrothal, they even managed to include Bruce in the conversation a couple of times. If it wasn’t for Alfred, Damian knows that the pestering would have left someone in the hospital.

On a rare sunny day in Gotham, Damian had taken Titus out for a walk. It was clear his mind and to get away for the time being. Finding a nice park bench to sit on, he pulls out a small sketchpad and begins to sketch. Titus runs around enjoying the outdoors.

“Is this spot taken?” The voice sounded so familiar. He grunts ever once looking up the person afraid that he had misheard the voice. “Oh, c’mon Dams, I thought you would be happy to see me.” It was then that he looks up. In shock, he pushes the sketchpad to the side and pulls the person in front of him into his arms.

“I miss you.” He murmurs into her dark hair. “But how?”

“I managed to win the Martha Wayne scholarship, and then your butler Alfred got into contact with me about visiting.” She says looking up to Damian, though she was mainly seeing his chin due to their height difference. “You’ve grown.” She then pouts.

Damian lets out a soft chuckle, hoping that no one outside of his Angel heard him. His Angel places her head against his chest and together they stayed like that until Titus decided that he was some attention.

“Awe, he’s so cute.” She says petting the Great Dane.

Damian was internally happy to have her by his side for the first time in years. She’s the one that is perfect for him and it’s not because she was molded to be, but because she knows him inside and out.

When Damian, Titus, and his Angel returned to the manor, it is Alfred that they see first.

“Welcome home, young master, and Miss Dupain-Cheng.” Alfred greets the teen.

“Alfred, please call me Marinette, my last name can be a mouth full,” Marinette says giving the butler a smile. Alfred nods and proceeds to guide them to the living room. “So, this is the Wayne manor, those photos you send me Dams does this no justice.”

Damian once again chuckles knowing she’ll be in a heavily inspired by the architecture which will then cause her to go dark until she finishes whatever project came out of the inspiration.

“Angel, how about I give you a proper tour of the manor?” He offers to which she gladly takes.

Marinette had been staying at the Wayne manor for a couple of days before Damian brothers make their grand entrance. Without catching sight of the girl, they make their way to the youngest Wayne hoping to get some answers about his betrothal.

“Um, you can ask me if you want,” Marinette says from behind the boys causing an outcry of emotions.

“What you’re real?” It was Tim rubbing his eyes that speaks first.

Marinette awkwardly nods, “And you need sleep. I have a special brew that can knock anyone out within seconds.” She says to Tim before turning to the others. “I’m Marinette, nice to meet you.”

Dick and Jason stare at the girl lost for words. Dick was internally gushing about her size and how cute she is compared to Damian while Jason struggles to comprehend the person in front of him.

Marinette closes the gap between her and Jason. She looks over the second oldest and smiles sadly. “You have so much darkness around you. The same that used to be around Dams. I could help you if you want.” She says taking the male’s hand.

Jason was lost for words. This person was willing to help him. He wasn’t sure how to feel but the light flowing off of this tiny person was overpowering.

“That’s it you’re my new favorite sibling. I will protect you with my life.” Dick cries out starting the competition of who’s Marinette’s favorite brother-in-law.

Not surprisingly enough, Marinette warmed her way into the Wayne family. She even bonded with Steph, Cass, and Barbara whenever the girls came over for a girls-only day. Damian quickly was reminded why he didn’t want his family to know about her, seeing that he barely has time with her as his siblings take all the time away. Though it has it’s benefits. He can now visit Marinette in France without needing to sneak away and she could come to visit the manor whenever she wants.

Damian knew the moment he said “I do”, she’ll be his forever in life and in death just like he’ll be hers forever.

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[nautiscarader]

wendip 14

(Ao3)

Wendy Corduroy never expected *that* to happen in a weirder place. Frankly, she wasn't sure that it would happen any time soon, but if she would guess, she wouldn't have chosen their travel van, parked on an Appalachian trail, just a few hundred feet from a cave where they have just found proof that the Bell Pepper Witch was real (and quite a nice person, actually).

And yet, there he was...

Dipper Pines, her boyfriend, with whom she has spent the last two weeks on the road, was on his knee, holding a familiar object - a malachite, green ring, now definitely without any curses lingering on. Wendy now realised why did he need to visit that witch again...

- Wendy Blerble Corduroy - he spoke with quivering voice - Will you make me... - Yes!

Wendy didn't let him finish, before her strong arms brought him from his knees and let him collapse on her chest, as the two slumped onto the elongated seat, while their mouths kept searching for each other.

She was already a wreck of emotions, boiling inside her head, and his kisses were only bringing more of them. If someone asked her yesterday, if she was ready for marriage, she would have scoffed at them, saying she preferred her life the way it is now.

And yet, the moment she saw Dipper, her entire world view has changed, and once more with the help of the chestnut-haired man she would now be able to call her fiance.

As their kiss went on, Wendy's hand slipped between their heated bodies, reaching for his belt, but his hands were faster and soon her finger was adorned with the ring Dipper wanted to present her before they'd inevitably celebrate.

- There, now we can-

And once more, Wendy's lips were on his, but now her hand was gently pushing him down her body, back into the position he started with.

- If you like the tradition so much, then get back on your knee, lover-boy.

Her fingers entwined with his slightly ruffled hair, as she gently settled on the edge of their van's seat, spreading her legs to accommodate her lover.

Dipper's hands moved her hips gently into the air to slide her pants, together with her panties in one quick swoop. Instead of tossing them to the side, they just dangled around one of her ankles, as the two young adults were too preoccupied with each other.

Dipper's kisses adorned the underside of her thighs closing on her puffy lips adorned with her neatly trimmed red bush that guided him towards it.

It was a satisfying experience to hear Wendy's usually calm and restrained voice break and uncover the needy, impatient side of hers, while Dipper's tongue caressed her sex, ensuring that every square inch of her will not be left unkissed.

- Yes... yes... - Is that all you're going to say? - he asked suddenly, looking up from between her thighs, and seeing a mischievous gleam in her emerald eyes. - Yes. - she answered at once, pushing him back into place, as she relaxed against the pillows.

She didn't have to act at all; the feeling of Dipper's tongue moving in-and-out of her pussy made her repeat that word like a mantra, until her legs twitched, nearly bumping into one of the cabinets.

She almost lost it, when his fingers brushed and then circled around her clit, and his name as almost spilled out of her mouth, but when she was about to do it, their eyes met, and she saw a satisfied grimace on his face, or rather part of his face that was visible.

- You liked it, didn't you? You want me to keep teasing you for next week and a half, don't you? - ...yes. - she said somewhat sternly, commenting on Dipper's deliberate choice of prolonging the foreplay, receiving only a victorious grin in return.

But soon he was back on track, kissing, nibbling and sucking on her folds, while her ring finger slid across his head.

Wendy kept repeating her only allowed word, her hand pressing his lips against her sex, knowing well she will soon taste the results of his work in her mouth when they will kiss.

And indeed, a moment later her body shook with first, powerful wave of climax, followed by a few weaker ones that made her body thrash, and gently rocked the van from side to side.

- Yes! Yes! Yes! - she moaned, trying to stay within the silly predicament she's created for herself.

When Dipper emerged from between her legs, she expected him to tease her with more question she wouldn't be able to answer, but fortunately, he asked a much simpler one, as he started fumbling with his belt.

- I think it's your time to get down on your knees...

Dipper said cockily, and this time, Wendy replied without any hint of sarcasm or disdain.

- Yes.

And with that, she effortlessly slid to the ground, partially by how shaky her legs were, as the orgasm still radiated through her body. She looked up at her boyfriend, sitting now in her seat, one of the rare moments where he truly was taller than her. She reached to his zipper and slid down his pants and trousers in one go, freed his cock, sampling the familiar musk and just a bit of his cologne.

She remembered the first time she tasted him, on his eighteenth birthday. Poor Dipper couldn't last twenty seconds before erupting in her mouth. He did make up for his eagerness later, though, making the night unforgettable for her as well...

It was time for her to feel blissful moan from above her head, as Dipper proclaimed his love for her again, throwing his head back and letting her take care of him.

But Wendy wasn't going just to kiss and lick him. Her fingers slid up and down his shaft, making sure her new ring caressed every ridge it could find, contrasting its cold with warmth of her palm.

- Oh, yes... - he gasped, looking down at the red-head.

She closed her lips around his cock and as her tongue circled around his head, she murmured something, without taking eyes from her future husband. She spoke slowly, making sure that her voice vibrated along his cock, caressing him in the most delicate of ways.

- We-Wendy! - he moaned - That's-that's cheating!

And though he couldn't recognise her before, her next word that reverberated against his skin was definitely "Yes".

She continued praising him, telling him how much she loved him, and how she was afraid when he leapt off that mountain a few weeks ago... With all of her feelings rushing back, she bobbed her head, knowing what will happen soon.

Wendy took one more breath of air and welcomed the taste and smell of her nerd's seed in her mouth, slowly coating her palate, as he kept spilling her name over and over again.

- Wendy... Wendy...

And just to give him extra bit of pleasure, she talked to him again, with her mouth closed around his head, to ensure that not a drop of his saltiness would leak out.

- Did... did you enjoy the drink?

Dipper received a loud, guttural gulp, as Wendy swallowed his hefty load, and proudly showed her empty mouth, which answered his question better than any words.

She jumped from her knees into his laps in a split of a second, making their lips meet, allowing the two to taste each other's scents, while their half-naked bodies coiled on the small seat.

With her crotch sliding back and forth against his cock, he came back to full power in no time, and Dipper had no problem slipping in in, as the two began making love, for the first time no longer as just boyfriend and girlfriend...

- Wendy... - he huffed, feeling her warmth enveloping him - We're-we're gonna be living together... - Yes... - she replied,. unable to hide her excitement - And...and have adventures every day... - Yes...! - And... and file joined taxes!

Their eyes met, as she shot him with a piercing, icy stare, about to start their first row as an engaged couple.

- Sorry, had to test you.

Using her moment of indecision, Dipper flipped her to her back, watching as her eyes widen for a split of a second, before they were filled with the familiar warm and excited look. Though the angle wasn't as optimal as he wished, his hips rolled back and forth, making powerful thrusts, which resulted in Wendy forgiving him for tricking her.

- Yes... yes...yes!

Wendy spilled this word between kisses to her neck, cheeks and her breasts, while his grunts grew in intensity and volume, minute by minute, until they culminated with Dipper stuttering his warning.

- W-Wendy - he huffed - I'm gonna- - Yes! - But are you- - Yes...

Wendy spoke in a smoky, low voice, fixating her emerald eyes with him, mimicking the same, sly expression he wore when he taunted her..

- W-Wait, Wendy - he asked, stopping his hips, much to Wendy's disappointment - Was-was that a "yes" for "yes", or "yes" for "no"...?

Suddenly Dipper felt the lock of her legs tightening behind his back, as the red-head brought his face against hers and whispered.

- Yes... - Oh, gods, I love you, Wendy...

And just in case her soon-to-be-husband was going to chicken out, she crossed her arms behind his back and dug her nails into his shoulders, to ensure he would deliver exactly what she wanted, exactly the way she desired. Wendy's worries were unsubstantiated - as Dipper would find it very difficult to pull out, even if he wanted to. The sheer thought that he was making love not to his girlfriend, but his fiancée, gave him enough willpower to continue

His final cry was as shattering and embarrassing as every single one she heard so far, but now it came from the mouth of her soon-to-be husband, and her name made her tighten her muscles a moment before her body gave up together with his.

- We-We will need a proper, big house, won't we? - Yes...

Wendy's words kept spilling into Dipper's ears just as his seed flowed closer to her womb with each pulse. Her words mixed with Dipper's grunts, as the two slowly calmed down, enjoying the serene, quiet moment they've just made more magical.

For the longest time, the two lay in each other's arms, savouring their mixed scents and warmth, as their breathing slowly became regular again.

- So, mr Corduroy... - Wendy spoke, as she regained her senses - Did you like my gift? - Yes... - Dipper murmured, still buried between her freckled breasts - And would you like more of it? - Yes! - And would you like to actually set up the bed instead of doing it on this small-ass kitchen seat? - Yes... - And are you gonna do this to me every day from now on, and make me breakfast in bed?

Without hesitation, Dipper leaned forward and kissed her.

- Yes.

The two laughed before their lips met again, and the cycle of love began anew. Wendy never clarified what her "yes" meant, but a few weeks later she revealed what her wedding gift was - and to their excitement, it was definitely positive.

[iiamtrashqueenii]

New Years Eve

Summary: Inspired by “New Years Eve” by Mal Blum, Virgil and Janus are reunited as the New Years Eve party the sides throw. Janus doesn’t want to admit how much he’s missed Virgil, and Virgil certainly isn’t making it easy on him.

Potential Triggers: (please let me know if any I missed or any you’d like me to tag in the future) Drinking, smoking, unhealthy relationships

——————

Letting out a breath of smoke into the sky from the balcony, Janus wondered for the hundredth time if he should even bother going to the party. It’d be a waste of time. Familiar faces he didn’t want to see, but at the very least, there’d be plenty to drink, and no one would question why.

Janus found himself drunk a lot of the time, actually. More often than he’d like to admit, and more often than even Remus could guess. Not that everyone else knew, Janus was all too good at hiding it, so long as no one was close enough to smell the alcohol on him. It wasn’t too hard to avoid when he rarely left his room either.

Shaking the thought away, he let the cigarette slip from his fingers, watching as the embers slowly died out with the rushing air as it plummeted to the ground. It wouldn’t start a fire. Not unless he willed it so. He had considered it momentarily, but ultimately decided against it. It wasn’t worth it. No amount of arson would fix things, and no amount of denial would make everything fade away, no matter how hard Janus tried. With slow steps, he slipped away from the balcony, into his room to get ready to go. Soon enough, Remus bounced into his room, asking if he was ready to go, and they headed to the ‘light’ sides part of the mind palace.

The music was rather loud for it being so early, only nine, and they were going to be there until at least one in the morning. Janus didn’t mind that, going to find drinks first before trying to socialize. Ultimately, by the time it was ten, he’d mostly stuck around Remus, sharing awkward glances with Virgil throughout the night. He should’ve talked to them—he knew that, it was the only chance at fixing things. But honestly? Janus didn’t even know if he wanted to fix things anymore. Not if Virgil didn’t want to try either. Besides, he didn’t need them.

Before the first hour could pass, they had started up party games, Janus well on his third drink as Roman asked him a simple ‘truth or dare.’ “Dare,” Janus answered blankly, staring into his plastic cup and tapping his fingers lightly on it, waiting for an answer before downing the rest of it.

“I dare you...” Roman glanced around, looking for an idea, “jump down from the top step over the railing,” she shrugged. It wasn’t all that interesting, but there wasn’t much that was interesting when they were capable of practically anything with minor consequences. Janus gave a curt nod and stood up, heading to the top of the stairs and pulling himself over the ledge before jumping down. The landing wasn’t that successful, aided by the drinking, so he had stumbled a bit before regaining his balance. “Ree, truth or dare?”

“Snakey-baby, you know better than to ask,” Remus answered, a faux softness to his voice.

“Great, so truth. What’s the real reason you dragged me to this party, Ree?” he asked, clearly bitter about it.

Remus breathed out quietly. “Jan you know I meant dare.”

“I dare you to answer the question.”

“That’s not—fine. I’m tired of seeing you tear yourself apart. You needed to get the hell out of your room. You can’t waste the rest of your life there,” Remus answered.

Janus pursed his lips in response, muttering a “your turn” under his breath and looking down again. What he hadn’t expected was for Remus to turn to Virgil for the next one. Remus and Janus had practically avoided asking Virgil so far—knowing full well that if Virgil picked truth, it wouldn’t go anywhere good. Worse is that Virgil did indeed answer with “truth.” Remus paused for a second. “I was hoping you’d pick dare,” he muttered honestly, before trying to think of a truth. Dares were easy for him to come up with, being intrusive thoughts and all.

“I got one,” Janus piped up, earning a hissed protest of his own name from Remus that fell on deaf ears. “Is it true that it’s my fault you left?”

Virgil frowned at the question. “Of course not, Janus.”

“Then how come you never visit?” he asked. “Is it just that... quite frankly I’m not worth it? Please, enligh—“

“Okay! Game time over,” Roman spoke, clasping his hands together. “Who wants to help me bring out the deserts and we’ll watch a movie for a while, yeah?” Remus had jumped up at the opportunity, mostly not wanting to be a part of the awkwardness between Janus and Virgil. It didn’t take long to get set up, mainly because Remus didn’t bother arguing about a movie—Roman would rig the votes anyway. Janus and Virgil had sat on opposite sides of the couch, both of them getting a few more drinks than necessary. They stopped the movie a little short, wanting to watch the time change across different places.

Janus stood up, slipping into the kitchen and setting his cup on the counter. He had had too much to drink already, knowing better than to get more if he wanted to remember anything by the next morning. He sighed, tossing the cup into the trash and leaning back on the counter, gripping the edge lightly, wondering shortly if it’d be any easy to leave. He could hear shouting and laughter coming from the nearby room, but at the same time, he didn’t feel as though he could actually hear it. Everything felt too loud and too quiet at once, so he had managed to miss a giggling Virgil stumbling through the door way, spilling a bit of their drink as they walked through. Great, Virgil was absolutely shit-faced.

“Hey Janny,” it slurred, leaning on a nearby chair for balance. The room was spinning. Merely sighing, Janus stepped over, going to help Virgil back to the living room, but Virgil stepped back a bit, holding out his hand forward and shaking his head. “Too loud in there,” he blubbered.

“Then I’ll take you to your room, but if you keep leaning on that chair like that, you’re gonna slam your face into the fridge.” Practically as predicted, Virgil’s hand slipped forward, his eyes going wide for a short moment before Janus caught him.

Breathing out softly, Virgil’s eyes flickered across Janus’s face, before its eyes landed on the little leaf decoration in the doorway. It grinned, something that didn’t look anything like Virgil’s normal grin, too drunk to care. “Janny, they must’ve forgotten to take down the mistletoe,” it slurred, leaning forward and pressing a messy but soft kiss to Janus’s lips before he even had a chance to respond. Janus hadn’t even shut his eyes yet by the time it was over, in a little shock, and unable to savor the moment. “I missed you,” Virgil mumbled. “I know you’ve missed me too,” they added quietly, resting their head on Janus’s chest, eyes fluttering shut.

“I don’t love you anymore,” he murmured quietly, most trying to convince himself of that, especially after that kiss. He repeated it a couple of times, whispered and breathy while tears pricked his eyes, and once he said it clearly for the first time, loud enough to at least be heard over the other’s, he shifted to lift up Virgil, who was practically asleep standing up. He blinked several times, trying to blink away the tears and slipping by unnoticed by the rest of the sides, even as he carried Virgil off. He slipped into Virgil’s room, oddly not too hard to do (Virgil was rather light after all, concerningly so), before setting them on their bed. He pulled up the blankets over Virgil, watching them adjust into their space before slipping out of the room, gently shutting the door and letting out a quiet huff. “I don’t love you anymore,” he repeated, starting to walk away. He knew better than to mention the kiss to anyone, even Remus. Remus would blabber about it, accidentally or on purpose, and Janus knew Roman and Virgil had something going on. If he ruined that... well, it was definitely much more worth suffering knowing Virgil was at least happy.

Janus walked back into his room, slipping off his bow tie and pulling it off, setting it on the desk before taking off his hat as well. He rested his hands on the table in front of him, staring down at it and hunching up his shoulders, doing his best not to let tears fall. He was oh-so-lucky to hear knocking on his door. It certainly wasn’t Remus—he never walked. “Come in,” he called, wiping nearing tears in his eyes with his thumb quickly.

He hadn’t expected Virgil to already be stumbling out of their room, opening the door and leaning on the door frame with a soft pout. “I didn’t want you to leave tonight,” Virgil admitted. “Stay? Please? I’ll talk to the others and we can... we can all be together again,” they choked out, lip quivering visibly.

Janus already knew if he said or did the wrong thing it’d be waterworks for hours, until Virgil passed out. So instead, he merely agreed, whatever Virgil wanted, and went to bring it back to bed. He stepped over, expecting to bring Virgil back to their own room, but Virgil slipped right past him, climbing into Janus’s bed and cuddling into the blanket. “... You know I never wanted to hurt you right?” it asked quietly. “I just thought it’d make me happier...”

“I know, Virgil. Hush now dear,” he murmured softly, pulling a chair up next to his bed. “Sleep, okay? We can talk about it in the morning,” he suggested lightly, shutting off the lamp.

They wouldn’t talk about it the next day, actually. Or anytime soon. And Janus would hope to whatever God or gods there may be that Virgil wouldn’t remember the kiss, wouldn’t say anything about the kiss, and they could forget it. Virgil wouldn’t forget, but it never dared to mention it, their relationships to fragile to dare.

[acid-hydrangea]

Three Years in Heaven

A few small glimpses at the winding, unending days of a certain boy.

(Includes post-story spoilers for both TWEWY games in their entireties, as this takes place between both periods.)

(AO3 Crosspost)

Night 1

It's dark.

So dark, he can hardly see his own hand in front of him.

He feels something.

Not by touch, no.

Someone silent

Yet that presence, their aura

It's so familiar,

It speaks one thousand words,

Nondescript, vague and cluttered,

Looping, repeating, silently, yet loudly,

Except for a few that ring out,

"How was your first Day back in the Underground, Neku?"

"... Josh?!"

Neku’s first cry, it's full of relief, shock, words caught in his throat finally let out of the cage in his throat,

"Josh... You..."

His voice rises, he clenches his fist, he's finally back on his two feet,

"Where the hell am I?! Why am I back in the UG again?! Did you..."

Neku crumbles, just a bit, hand over his chest, where his non-beating heart is,

"For the third time..."

"Did I kill you? Well, isn't that the question of the decade."

Neku yells once more, wishing for nothing more than to be heard, and for once, to have his questions answered,

"Don't fucking screw with me! Just give me an answer...!"

He seriously feels like he's at his last straw. Joshua's unconcerned nonchalance was going to be the death of him.

"... What a way to thank your savior." Joshua pouts. "That twisted Reaper had excruciating plans for you, you know."

"... Huh? That Reaper... Coco? What about her?"

"She killed you, sought to drag you to the Underground once more, to..."

Joshua held his arms out, gesturing to the absolute nothingness that surrounded them,

"Save the lost city of Shinjuku."

Neku doesn't even have time to process the fact that Coco killed him. It's not information he wanted to digest, right now.

"This is... Shinjuku? What the hell happened??"

"An Inversion." Joshua states, rather matter-of-factly.

Neku stutters, thoroughly confused. "A what, now...?"

"It's when the RG and UG collapse into each other, and cease to function entirely." Joshua sighs, twirling his hair curl between his fingers. "Much like if you were being choked. Your throat closes up, and you'd stop breathing. If prolonged, you could pass out, or die. It's like that, Neku."

Neku instinctively backed away, holding his hands over his neck, as if fearing Joshua would try to demonstrate.

It didn't help that Joshua was wearing the smallest of twisted smirks during the latter half of his explanation.

Perhaps Joshua just enjoys morbid discussions. That's none of Neku's business.

Joshua rolls his eyes, as if put off by how scared Neku is.

"... You should feel grateful I saved you, for the record. The job I have in store for you is a lot less painful."

Neku was still on the defensive. "...Oh, yeah? And what would that be?"

"To discover the very reason why an Inversion took place here."

"...You wanna tell me more, Private Dick Extraordinaire?"

"If I had more to say, I would have told you."

"I don't buy it."

"Well, isn't that a shame... Because you can't leave until you've figured it out."

If Neku addresses that, he knows he won't get meaningful answers. He doesn't even know if Joshua will stick around for long. He chooses his words carefully...

"I've seen what's left of Shinjuku. There's nothing here. How do you expect me to find any--"

"Make it work, Neku. We haven't got all day. How about you try to listen more closely?"

And just like that, the second Day begins.

Neku decides it's another day of endless wandering, once more, trying to listen to the absolute silence that he now knows is Shinjuku, Post-Inversion.

Night 7

It's been a whole week. 7 Days.

Joshua has yet to make another appearance, ever since that first Night.

Very little has changed, but Neku's grown a bit smarter. Learned a little more. Opening his mind to Shinjuku, bit by bit.

As his eyes close and the current Day ends, he has a familiar feeling he knows who to expect.

Joshua slowly claps, "I must say, you've really outdone yourself, Neku."

"Put a sock in it..." Neku crosses his arms. "I've barely picked up on anything."

"Care to share your discoveries with your beloved Partner?"

"What, you can't look around yourself?"

"I cannot so freely come and go from Shibuya like you, Neku." The look in Joshua's eyes turns a bit serious. "Even I have my harrowing responsibilities."

"... Is something happening in Shibuya?"

"Nothing for you to worry yourself over."

"Is something happening in Shibuya, or not?!" Neku steps towards him, three seconds away from grabbing the collar of his shirt, "Just because I'm not there doesn't mean I can't worry." There's a mix of anger and concern in Neku's tired eyes.

"How about an exchange of information, then?" Joshua twirls his pointed finger at Neku, pushing him out of his personal bubble. "Starting with that briefing you keep putting off."

"... Fine." Neku rubs the back of his head. "Like I said, it's barely anything... But I don't think the people of Shinjuku knew it was coming. It was like it surprised them all at once."

Joshua tilts his head. "... And?"

"That's it. I told you it wasn't much..." Neku reiterates, sincerely hoping Joshua doesn’t ask him for something he doesn’t have.

"No, I think..." Joshua rubs his chin, pondering. "That's enough, for now."

"Tell me about Shibuya, then. What's happening?"

"A handful of Shinjuku Reapers are taking refuge there. Our current Game Master has decided to allow them that mercy."

"... You seem bothered by the fact."

"My, my, you're getting much better at reading people, too." Joshua shoots him his trademark grin. "I have my suspicions that they partook in enacting their own city's downfall."

"Huh...?" Neku's bewilderment was apparent on his face. "Why would they want to tear down their own city?"

"Like I said, it's just a thought. How could it be that they are the only survivors, after all?"

Neku, too, began pondering this... Not that he really knew, though. This is Joshua he's talking to. Those Shinjuku Reapers could be totally innocent, and Neku wouldn't know,

“You’re the Composer, aren’t you? Why not kick them out if they pose a threat?” Despite his own thoughts, Neku figured Joshua would’ve taken more precaution--

“It’d be dangerous to let them out of my sight if they are responsible.”

Frankly, Neku had no argument against that. Joshua was right. Even so...

Neku's voice goes a bit quiet. "... Maybe something else caused the Inversion, though..."

"Hm, you think so?" Joshua snaps his fingers. "Go on, uncover more proof to back that theory up, then."

Neku's eyes shot open to the same, dreary sights as always.

It's sudden, but the eighth Day has begun.

Night 8

Neku had a very rare, very special, very horrific encounter against Noise.

He wasn't exactly prepared for a fight, but...

He had a few Pins on hand, luckily, it was enough to take it out.

He was surprised his psyches work as well as they do, given he's on his own. That's the least of his concerns right now, though.

Larger than most, it took all the longer to take down. Its attacks were also far more brutal, leaving every cut burning. After the Noise was felled, Neku felt revitalized,

but no, none of those were the concerning parts to be dealt with.

It almost felt like it was an amalgamation of human Soul and Noise matter that he was fighting.

Their thoughts were loud, so, so loud, forming words, sentences, phrases.

The cries, shouts, and whimpers it exuded all sounded incredibly human.

"No, don't hurt me! I mean no harm!"

"Go away! Get away from me!"

"What did I ever do to you...?"

"What... Where am I... What's happening?!"

"It hurts, it hurts!! Mama!!!"

"What are you doing to him?!"

Yet, they wouldn't stop.

They kept trying to hurt him.

Neku wasn't about to lay his life down, but...

He felt damn close to it.

The revitalizing energy that enveloped him after their defeat, it felt bittersweet.

He falls to his knees, collapsed, exhausted.

There are thoughts lingering, from all that it used to be. They sit there, as if waiting,

But Neku can't muster the will to do anything, right now.

His eyes shut on their own, refusing to perceive himself, or anything around him.

Neku wanted nothing more than to disappear, just like them.

The eighth Day is over.

Joshua looks forward, at the wisps of what once was a catastrophic bundle of Noise,

"Quite the curious entity that was, mm?"

Neku has no words. Nothing to say, to think, to... be.

The vacant, scared expression on his face... Joshua found it interesting, to say the least.

"...You okay, Neku?" Joshua tilts his head, as a few sparks of concern come through his usually sardonic demeanor.

Neku can barely get the words out, but he tries, "No... I'm not, actually." He's on the cusp of tears.

His voice could barely be heard by normal ears, but it's fine, because Joshua can hear him.

He always can.

"... Those thoughts aren't going anywhere," Joshua's tone has turned considerably sympathetic, far more gentle, possibly even genuine, "Let's just wait for a bit."

Joshua sits beside him, now.

Gently placing his hand on Neku's, he can feel it shaking, as it's clenched tight.

Neku feels the strange silence is comforting, simply because Joshua is here.

Neku, deep down, wanted nothing more than the company of someone else.

Especially right now.

Even if it was Joshua’s...

No, not ‘even’... He found comfort in Joshua’s knowing tone, and even in his kind gestures...

No matter how foreign it all was to Neku.

He didn’t feel like questioning it, right now. Joshua was the only other person here, the only one he could talk to.

Neku doesn’t want to take that for granted.

Neku tries to speak, once more, as tears blur his eyes, which he dared to open once more, too weak to look ahead, he stares at the ground below him,

at Joshua's hand, still tenderly holding his own.

"...Josh... Did I...", Neku gulps, trying to release the words tangled in his throat, "Kill those people...?"

"No, you didn't. They were already gone. You gave them mercy, if anything," Joshua brushes his thumb over Neku's hand, speaking calmly. "They can pass on peacefully, now."

"... You mean it...?"

"I do. They even left us their thoughts, it's something that can help us."

"... It can help us...?"

"Of course, Neku," Joshua gently brushes his shoulder against his, "Try to look forward, try to look at them."

As hesitant as he is, he trusts Joshua.

Joshua would take a chance like this to screw with him,

but he figured Joshua still has things for him to do.

And Neku knows he himself can't leave until he's done what he has to.

Whatever ulterior purpose Joshua has, refusing to listen to him would make things drag on.

He wasn't in the mood to deal with Joshua's ire.

... And who knows? Maybe Joshua actually was concerned.

Only if because Joshua wasn't his assailant, this time.

Neku looks forward.

There's naught but glowing wisps, a condensation of people's thoughts lingering in the air.

It almost seemed as though they were waiting.

"Try to read them, Neku." Joshua prompts him. "Read their thoughts, just like you've done before."

Joshua gently lifts his hand from Neku's, from which Neku tries to muster the energy to lift his arm... To try to understand the words waiting for him.

Neku feels weak, he hisses silently from a cut on his arm. It wasn't only because of the battle, no, but he hadn't noticed how tired he'd grown over the past week.

It's not like he was loitering around. He was trying his damndest to figure more information out, and find a way out of Shinjuku.

That last battle really cemented his exhaustion in--

Taking notice, Joshua helps, gently lifting Neku's arm up properly. He takes care to not worsen his injuries,

"There, just like that. Go on, Neku."

And so, Neku does.

Realigning himself with the thoughts before him...

He focuses...

He hears them.

"The pain, it's... Gone..."

"... It's okay now, right?"

"What was I doing before this...? Hmm..."

"That man, wearing a butterfly..."

"He looked vengeful, didn't he?"

"Mama, was there something wrong with him?"

Some of them pay Neku no head, some soon extend a silent thanks his way.

They don't speak to him, but he feels it, just before they all fade away.

A vague sense of gratitude.

Joshua lets go of Neku's arm, and Neku stands back on his own two feet, as does Joshua.

"I'd say that was worth it, no?" Joshua's snide tone returns.

Neku kicks at the ground, "... That battle sucked ass."

"You won though, didn't you?" Joshua winks.

Neku crosses his arms, "So what if I did..." Suddenly, Neku wonders, and his wounded arm falls to his side, being clutched by the other.

That battle... Still did a number on him, physically. It was difficult on all ends.

A concerned expression forms on Neku's face, "...Hey, I won't have to do that again, will I?"

"I can't say. You should prepare yourself for the worst, anyways." There's something different about the way he says that, Neku can't recognize Joshua's tone, but he rolls with it.

Neku is silent, his eyes pointed in Joshua's direction. He has better questions to ask.

"... Why are you here, anyways?"

"Why? Because I'm your Partner, Neku."

"Not what I meant. You're Shibuya's Composer. I didn't think you could do anything outside those boundaries."

Joshua chuckles, hand to hip, "You clearly underestimate my capabilities."

Neku rolls his eyes, "You were the one who said you can't come here yourself. Did you find some loophole?"

Joshua continues, this rare generous mood of his leading him to continue entertaining Neku with answers. "Oh, Neku... Neku, Neku, Neku... You are my loophole."

Neku realizes just how messed up his role as a messenger has become. He tried not to think about it before, because what could he do about it? Regardless, it still bothers him.

Neku sighs, "... You don't plan on letting me take a break, do you?"

Then, Joshua says something, that frankly, Neku didn't expect at all,

"Not my jurisdiction, that's all on you, Neku."

Neku's head is now fully turned towards Joshua, only to be met with his eyes staring back at him.

Neku tilts his head, curious, yet suspicious, "Is it, now?"

Joshua states, rather matter of factly, "You have a lot to learn before you can further deepen your understanding of what happened here."

Joshua grins with his eyes, yet his mischievous demeanor returns.

"By all means, take your time, Partner."

Neku opens his eyes.

It is now Day 9.

He's decided his fate is indeed in his own hands, and no one else's.

Neku spends the day trying to find peace of mind.

Night 21

“You don’t look too hot, Partner. Miss me that much?” Joshua asks.

Neku is silent, a strained expression on his face, eyes shut tight. Unresponsive.

It was like Neku barely heard him.

Joshua groans, wanting some kind of response from Neku. "If I didn't know better, I'd have assumed you went back on all of your changes, as a person. Are you back to hating everyone, Neku?"

Neither Neku nor Joshua look very well for wear, it’s been about two weeks since they last met. They've both been busy.

Neku’s sitting, hands pressed hard to his headphones, as if trying to listen to them like they’re broken conch shells.

Joshua sighs. “... Did you even realize the Day’s ended, Neku?”

Neku opens one eye, sulks, “I’m... Trying to find something...”, before shutting it, again.

Joshua tilts his head, “Would you mind enlightening me on what that is?”

Neku’s voice is quieter than usual, “... Their thoughts became muffled.” as if not wanting to speak over the City’s whispers.

“Hm... Isn’t that quite the predicament.”

Joshua sits in front of Neku, studying his face.

Looking from multiple angles, he notices Neku’s eyebags, seeing that sleep deprivation has set in, despite the mandated time that Days are supposed to end.

Maybe it was just his imagination, but Neku seemed a bit thinner, too. His arms, legs...

He’s definitely run into more Noise battles in the past two weeks, as well. Likely caught off guard for a good handful of them.

Wounds Neku poorly tried to hide and mend were incredibly obvious. A single healing Pin that needs time to reboot can only do so much.

Joshua has a lot on his mind, right now. A lot of priorities.

The Neku before him reminded him strongly of that.

“Maybe I can help. Take your hands off of those precious headphones of yours, Neku.”

Hesitant, yet stuck with no other answers, Neku complies.

“Guess it’s worth a shot, whatever you... Hey, wait--!”

Joshua swiftly robs Neku of his Headphones.

“There. Try it, now.” Joshua grins slightly, patting Neku’s headphones, as if reassuring him of their safety in his hands.

Grumbling, Neku thinks, ‘There’s no way it’s that easy...’

He tries to focus his mind once more, hands hovering over his ears, where his headphones used to be.

... He begins to hear things he once couldn’t.

His strained expression ebbs away slowly.

Joshua looks on, a silent giggle passes his lips.

Watching Neku’s expression relax, as he listens clearly to new thoughts floating in the air...

It made Joshua feel a fleeting sense of happiness, as he too felt rather worn-out.

Lowering his hands, opening his eyes, the exhaustion in his eyes faded out, even if just a little.

Neku whispers, quietly, “... Thanks, Josh.”

“Really, you were helpless without me, Neku...” Joshua jests, yet there's a hint of melancholy to his words, “You’re welcome, though.”

Joshua gives Neku his headphones back, placing them around his neck, then helps him back up on his feet.

“Try using that sixth sense of yours more, Neku.” Joshua's eyes fall to the side, “‘I’ve been quite busy lately.”

“Right... How’s Shibuya been?”, Neku asks... A slew of concerns rise up on his mind’s list of priorities.

Joshua crosses his arms, “Depends. Do you have anything new to report?”

Neku tries to think carefully about how to say this... He sighs, and decides to just be honest.

'... No. Not yet...”

Directing his eyes back to Neku, Joshua gives him a hard stare, for a few moments...

Joshua decides he’s had enough, for now, “... Since you seem to be having a hard time, I’ll forgive you this time, Partner.”

Neku releases a breath he held in anticipation, “Oh, cry me a river, why don’t you...”, He figured Joshua would stop being cooperative eventually, he’s just surprised it hasn’t happened yet.

Twirling his hair curl around his finger, Joshua continues, “In any case, the Shinjuku Reapers have basically taken over Shibuya’s Reaper Games,"Joshua tuts, rubbing the hair between his fingers casually, "The previous Game Master was unable to stop them.”

... Neku tries to not think about how that probably wouldn’t have happened if he didn’t off the previous Conductor.

Well, the Shibuya he knows and so dearly loves would be no more, but still... Part of his mind thinks, ‘at least there would have been one’...

Judging by Joshua mentioning only the Game Master... Did he even hire another Conductor, yet...?

... Neku didn’t feel like risking getting on Joshua’s bad side. Not to the extent that asking would bring about, anyways.

After a long pause, Neku replies. “... You say that like it’s not a huge deal.”

He knows better than to worry himself sick over things he can't control. If Joshua doesn't seem worried, chances are it's fine.

Joshua runs his hand through his hair, other hand in pocket, “Hah. Hard to say, really. If I’m being honest?” There's a slightly vicious look in Joshua’s eyes. “I’m kind of excited to see where they take it.”

... Neku takes it back. He forgot Joshua fakes his emotions for a living.

Neku crosses his arms, “Sounds like you’re lying through your teeth, Josh.”

Joshua realizes that he’s not the best at keeping up his facade when he himself is exhausted.

That, or Neku’s just gotten to know him that well. Joshua's little tics, stims, fidgets...

He kind of hates it, but he also kind of loves it. That wasn’t Neku’s business, though.

Joshua replies, brushing the hair out of his eyes, “It’s fine,” he rolls his eyes. “They’re not doing anything blasphemous, in any case.”

The silence is thoroughly awkward, between the two. It’s a wonder that the next Day hasn’t begun yet.

Joshua is just waiting, while Neku has other things on his mind...

Neku sighs, “... I get that you’re basically a God, and everything, but are you taking care of yourself?”

Joshua gives him an irritated look, “What, worried I can’t handle a bit of pressure from the opposition? You wound me, Neku.”

“Geez, is it wrong to be worried about my Partner?” Neku mumbles, rubbing the back of his head, “You just look... Tired.”

The more he cared, the more Joshua took offense to it, “You’re practically bleeding at every cut. You really have no place to be speaking to me like that.”

“Sorry, I haven’t exactly had time to rest,” Neku scoffs.

“That makes the both of us, then.”

“Guess it does.”

The two stare at each other for some time, arms crossed, eyebrows furrowed.

...

Neku sighs, letting go of the tension in his shoulders,

“Josh, I think we’re both tired as hell of all of this.”

Joshua tilts his head, unconvinced, “Your point being?”

“We need a long-term game plan.”

“You think I don’t have my own?”

“If you do have one, feel free to let me in on it.” Neku stands his ground. ”Just telling me to relay information to you isn’t exactly what I’d call a good plan.”

Day ???

"Well, well, if it isn't my splendiferous wonderful old friend, Nekkykins!"

"Hey, Coco."

Neku was given a brief explanation on what was going to happen, some time ago. He would return to Shibuya with the assistance of the Harrier Reaper Coco Atarashi, which included assisting her with something else, afterwards.

‘... And you’re telling me I have to wait a whole month before she gets here?’

‘That’s the deal, Partner. Don’t worry, it’ll all pay off in the end.... You trust me, don’t you?’

Said assistance would likely lead to more information about the Shinjuku Inversion being uncovered, as she has close ties with someone who was investigating, as well... That person in particular was in need of help.

"Since I’m here to pick you up, we should get going soon! Althooough... I also have something else for you!"

... Neku knew better than to let personal feelings get in the way, at this point, but he couldn’t help but feel somewhat bothered... Even so.

It's too much trouble to hold a grudge against someone for taking your life.

Even if it was isolating, horrifying, and downright made him feel like he didn't exist... For three, long, years...

It was fine. It ended up being for the greater good--

Coco cheered, “Here are some fresh new clothes for you!"

Neku’s response was delayed, as he’s deep in thought. "Huh...? Thanks, I guess."

"C'mon, c'mon, try it on, at least!" Coco prompts him, putting them in his hands. "Those old clothes must be so dingy and tight, by now!!"

"Alright, I get it... Give me a second."

It doesn't take too long for Neku to change, once he's found a place to do so.

Somehow, his old clothes never did shrink, if any part of his wardrobe did stay the same size through the years, it would probably be his old headphones and music player.

He was no longer in possession of either, though.

... The new clothes were pretty comfortable. Fits his style, too.

Coco claps her hands, "You look suuuper cute! Plaid really suits you, y'know!"

"Uh... Thanks.” Neku rubs the back of his head, somewhat bashfully. “Can we get to Shibuya, then?"

"Yes, yes! Buuut, before that... We should arrange for a place to meet up after you get there. It'll be alot easier to explain things!"

“I’ll be helping your friend out, right? Then she can tell us more about the Inversion that took place here.”

Coco nods. “Super-duper Splendiferous! You already know what you need to do!”

"Works for me. How about we meet up at Cat Street... Wildkat work for you?"

"Oh, you mean where it used to be?” Coco takes Neku by the arm. “Sure thing! Let's gooo!"

Not being given the time to process the implications of 'where it used to be', the two are already off to the races.

Things seem... Different, as Coco's dragging him along. He's not sure, but... Somehow, the inverted city of Shinjuku didn't seem as small or cramped, as the two approach it's border.

He didn’t even know there was a border, but if he guessed anyone would know about it, it would be a Reaper of Coco’s caliber... And not someone like himself.

While they're running at a brisk pace, Coco realizes something, and slows her pace. Letting go of Neku's wrist, she turns to him. Guilt apparent in her puppy-eyes, she bows before him,

"By the way... I'm ever so sorry for what I did three years ago!! I'm a whole new person now, I promise you!!!"

Neku can't shake the feeling that he can't trust or forgive Coco, no matter how close she thinks she is with him, and even if he's determined to help her friend.

It doesn't mean he can't try, at least. Neku gave the guy who killed him twice multiple chances to make it up to him, why wouldn't he do the same here?

... And for one thing, she actually apologized.

"... It's alright. That reminds me, though..."

"Oh? Do tell."

... It was fine to ask, wasn’t it? There was still one thing he was dying to know, for as long as he’s been dead.

"Why did you kill me, anyways, Coco?"

There's a vacant expression resting on his face, as he asks.

Any frustrations, tears, any sense of despair for his own death... It left him a long time ago.

He had the feeling death meant very, very little to Coco. Surely, it was just a small question to her.

"Ahh, about that... The truth is..."

Coco fiddled her thumbs, guilt written all over her face,

"IwantedyouandMisterMini-MotototeamupandsaveShinjukutogetherbutthenitwastoolate..!!!"

Coco takes a deep breath, having confessed in one fell swoop.

... It took Neku a second to process that.

Well. It was what it was.

"It's alright. Let by-gones be by-gones, and all that, I was just--"

Suddenly, a headache crashes through Neku's head,

"G-gh..." He clutches his head, staggering.

Coco exclaims, "Are you alright, Nekkykins?!"

It's another Vision. A Future Vision.

“Beat, are you okay?!”

“Don’t stop-- Keep goin’! I’mma stay here and keep him at bay.”

That's... It's Beat's voice.

“P-p-preposterous!”

“I can’t give y’all a speed boost right now... So I gotta slow him down instead. Ya feel?”

Something’s hurting him, someone’s hurting Beat--

“What’re ya waitin’ for? Go!”

“And leave you behind?!”

“I’m tryna buy y’all some time here, yo!”

“And what happens when you run out of time?!”

“We’ll see.”

What is he doing... What is Beat doing?!

“No, we won’t!”

“There’s no way we’re letting you face him all by yourself! You’re gonna get erased!”

Who?! Who are they facing--

... Erasure...?

“What-- you don’t think I can handle ‘im?”

“No, I don’t!!”

“Defeat is inevitable.”

“Y’all cold, yo!”

“And you’re hurt, Worms-For-Brains!!”

"Either we all escape together... Or we all fight together!"

Beat, you have to listen, BEAT--

"Look-- I’mma need you to chill for a sec. We all stay and fight, we all get erased."

“... B... Beat...? What are you doing...?”

Coco’s saying something, but Neku can’t hear her. He can’t hear anything except for--

"Ain’t nobody gonna be left to save Shibuya... I’ll catch up with you later, but for now, y’all gotta go.”

Is he... Is Beat planning to sacrifice himself...?

“Sorry, pal... Can’t let ya through.”

“Beat!!!”

That younger boy called out in fear, clutching a Pin desperately, a weakened Beat is holding back a rampaging Leo Cantus, there's no chance he’ll last long--

Before Neku even realized it, every second that Future Vision amped up, his legs were running for the Barrier of Shinjuku,

The vision ebbs away, but everything in it is burned into his mind,

‘He looks so different--'

any exhaustion Neku might have had was completely gone,

'He looks how I used to look, even with his own headphones--'

replaced with the urgent need to save one of his closest friends.

'He's throwing his life away to protect the others, the other Players in the visions I've been getting for the past three weeks--'

Neku's thoughts are burning inside his head, as the Vision keeps replaying in his head, he feels like he's about to combust,

‘Hang in there, Beat, hang in there!’

He doesn't even realize he's completely left Coco behind, but

There are tears streaming down Neku’s face,

his breathing's turned erratic,

his non-beating heart is beating, loudly in his chest,

Neku needs to get back to Shibuya,

Neku needs to save Beat,

Right now,

Before it's too late.

Before it's too late...

BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE--

[lilana163]

Reunited: Chapter 3

Cygnus Black definitely had a favorite, he wasn't the best father but he was certainly better than Druella when it came to parenting, for the most part. Bellatrix was seen as a disappointment because all Cygnus ever wanted was a boy to call his own, even though the poor girl did everything to please her father and mother. Andromeda was always quiet and kept to herself, Cygnus never thought of his second as a disappointment or disgrace because quite frankly she never gave him a reason to. Narcissa was much like Andromeda, the blonde had a liking to being invisible so it was rare that the angel of the Black sisters would have to face the wrath of Cygnus or Druella. Aurora on the other hand always had a goofy and kind persona, she never felt the need to go invisible and not be herself or beg for the attention of either of her parents, which is why Cygnus Black adored the raven-haired girl the most.

So when he overheard Walburga speak to Orion about Druella almost torturing his daughter into insanity all he could see was red, he loved his wife and would sometimes agree to the punishments she gave their children, but the only person Cygnus loved more than Druella Black was Aurora his precious little star, or so he called.

The black-haired man furiously slammed the door to both his and Druella's bedroom open, his wife sat on the couch with a cigarette between her fingers as she stared into nothingness.

" You almost tortured her into insanity!" Cygnus screamed slamming the door behind him, a bitterness crept on Druellas face as she glanced at her husband.

" That girl needs to learn how to behave," Druella spoke letting a tear fall from her eye, Cygnus rushed up to the blonde lifting her up from where she sat, pinning her up aggressively on the dark green walls grasping onto her neck tightly making the blonde gasp for air.

" You don't torture her to an extent where she could be driven to insanity, if I lose Aurora because of you I'll kill do you hear me?!" Cygnus screamed into the blondes face tightening his grip around her neck, his grey eyes watery as they stared into Druellas green ones.

" You wouldn't d- dare," Druella managed to respond her words barely audible from the tight grip on her neck, Cygnus let on an amused laugh that disturbed the blonde who slowly started to let fear consume her.

" What makes you say that?" Cygnus asked his wife who stared into his cold watery eyes, she then figured out that the man who stood in front of her isn't the man she married but just someone who looked like the shy man who said I do many years ago.

" Because you love me," Druella muttered her words making Cygnus expression soften, he let her go dropping the blonde on the floor, Druella held onto her neck taking as much air she could, Cygnus walked over to the door opening it but before Cygnus left he glanced one last time at his wife.

" Don't count on love, it can get you killed," Cygnus last said leaving the blonde alone in the room. Druella curled up into a ball laying on the floor allowing her tears to fall, she looked at her reflection on the wall desperately crawling to the mirror. Druella winced as she touched the marking of her husband's hand on her neck, she stared into her eyes crying with uneven breathes Druella Black a protective mother, loving wife, a broken woman, she was slowly falling apart, her perfect picture life getting harder to maintain by the day. She was lost, the woman who stared back was unrecognizable she had no idea what her life was to become, and that fearless woman who wasn't afraid of no one was now fearing for her life in many ways.

Cygnus walked across the manor to find his daughter, he reached Aurora's room finding Walburga pacing back and forth in front of the closed white door. His loud footsteps caught the attention of his sister who looked back at him with worried eyes.

" Walburga?" Cygnus whispered loudly slowly approaching the black-haired woman, her grey eyes held concern and nothing more, she was a vile lady but that didn't stop her from caring which was an emotion all Blacks learned to hide, at moments like these maybe it was appropriate to show feelings, yet that's showing weakness, and Blacks are far from weak.

" I'm to assume that you're here to check on Aurora?" Walburga asked Cygnus not bothering to cover the worry which laced in her words.

" Yes," Cygnus replied not quite sure what to make of the situation, his sister never showed anything but coldness, so it would be an understatement to say that he was surprised.

" I would like to know of my niece's well-being, so if you could find me after you see Aurora, that would be much appreciated," Walburga quickly stated rushing off to the direction Cygnus came from with her long black dress flowing behind from the quick movement.

A gentle knock was heard behind the white door alerting all the young Blacks of someone wanting to enter, they all shifted their gaze to the young black-haired girl who put on her brightest smile in an attempt of easing the tension.

" Come in," Aurora announced watching as the door opened revealing her father, the man seemed tense but once he locked eyes with his daughter's green ones he felt his body relax letting out a loud breath he hadn't known he held.

" How's my little star?" Cygnus approached the young girl standing on her bedside, Bellatrix loudly scoffed at the nickname earning a hard glare from Andromeda.

" I'm doing just fine Papa, I could outrun you in a race if I really wanted to," Aurora teased her father nudging him lightly with her elbow, he let out a low laugh playfully shaking his head.

" Rubbish, I always win when we race!" Cygnus boasted puffing out his chest and fixing his posture, looking down at the girl who held amusement in her eyes.

" Because I'm nice enough to let you win old man," Aurora revealed laughing as his facial expression dropped at the word old, the group around them awkwardly stood around the pair feeling nothing but envy at the interaction, though a certain blonde smiled brightly at her father and sister she was certainly happy that they had the relationship they did.

" How about we go and paint, what do you think little star?" Cygnus asked Aurora who nodded excitedly jumping out of her bed, she stumbled a bit from the effects of the cruciatus curse but the little girl managed to hide her weakness and masked it with an energy she didn't have, at a young age Aurora Black learned how to mask and hide things away, not for her but the benefit of those around her, all she ever wants is for good energy to surround those around her which meant that she would have to learn how to hide her true self, but everyone always has that one person who could see through their fake happiness and Auroras person was Narcissa Black.

Cygnus and Aurora left the room not before saying one last goodbye to the others, the father and daughter duo walked across the dark corridor into an art studio, when Aurora was younger she found Cygnus painting and from there, Aurora took interest in her father's hobby which soon became hers.

The studio was surrounded by painted canvases all that belonged to both Aurora and Cygnus, the artwork around them always had a deeper meaning than what caught the naked eye. Cygnus taught his daughter that Art should always have a deeper meaning than just art drawings of an apple and so on, the black-haired man believed that art is one way to express feelings, thoughts, a story, and observations. He always made sure that his daughter's art held a bigger purpose and each canvas the little girl painted always did.

" I'm going to start a new painting Papa," Aurora hummed making her way over to a blank canvas taking it to her easel and paint.

" Fine by me little star, may I ask what you plan to paint this time?" Cygnus told his daughter while he prepared himself to finish his own painting he started two weeks ago.

" You'll find out," she glanced at her father with a small smile before sketching her face on the blank canvas occasionally looking into the mirror she set up beside her.

" Papa, do you love mum?" Aurora mumbled not moving her eyes from her work, Cygnus stared at the girl in shock she had always been so upfront with him on many occasions but this particular question set him off.

" Of course I love your mum Aurora, why wouldn't I?" Cygnus answered going back to his painting not without sparing a few glances at the girl who took a while to respond.

" You two argue a lot, are you sure you love, mum?"  Aurora stated glancing into the mirror analyzing her mouth and each detail that came with her plumped pink lips.

" Do you love mum?" Cygnus returned with a question watching how Auroras let out a genuine smile that reached her eyes.

" Of course I love mum," Aurora turned to met his gaze smiling lightly before turning back to the canvas which stood in front of her.

" But don't you two argue a lot?" Cygnus sent a cheeky grin to his daughter who playfully stuck her tongue out at the grey-eyed man.

" Touché, Mr. Black," Aurora said nodding her head in amusement, Cygnus chuckled at his daughter's reaction before resuming back to his half-done painting.

" I heard you singing to Sirius a few weeks ago, I must admit I'm oddly curious where you heard such a song," Cygnus let out changing the subject unknowingly triggering something inside the little girl.

" You heard that?" Aurora dropped her attention from her painting instead focusing on her father, he rose a brow at the girl her confidence no longer lingering in her tone.

" It was quite a beautiful song, I'd love to listen to it, who's it by again?" Cygnus questioned glancing at his green-eyed daughter who blushed by his comment.

" I actually wrote the song," she shyly whispered Cygnus looked at his daughter not knowing how to feel, he had only heard a few sentences as he passed the corridor though it was enough for him to realize the song was made because of dark thinking.

" I only ever wrote it for Sirius and me, it brings peace to us," Aurora added trying her best to hint that he wasn't meant to hear the song, Cygnus had a worried expression covering his face recalling each word he managed to hear.

" And you relate to the song?" the grey-eyed man queried hoping he was wrong, Aurora simply nodded moving her uncomfortable gaze to her canvas.

" The shadows in your head, they've got you down again, got you feeling low," Cygnus softly spoke staring deep into his daughter's side, Aurora felt his burning gaze but instead kept her focus on the canvas before her.

" It's just words," Aurora remarked fiddling with the hem of her white dress, Cygnus didn't know what to make of the idea of his daughter or nephew feeling such away, so he sat there on his stool letting the silence linger once more.

" Songs are considered art, and art is not meaningless it always tells a story," Cygnus responded under his breath loud enough for the black-haired girl who sat across the room to hear.

" I'm aware Papa," Aurora said with tears brewing in her eyes which she quickly blinked away before they could get noticed and attract unwanted attention.

[the-most-slytherin-hufflepuff]

Open your eyes (Chapter 4)

I managed to finish this chapter finally. I hope you guys enjoy it... cause shit is about to go down. Anyway here you go. Characters belong to @lumosinlove

Masterlist

The return to Slytherin wasn’t loud. 

It wasn’t full of praise for Sirius and his friends, or pity and happiness for Regulus. It was dark, in the cloak of the early night when no one would see them come or go. Sirius wanted time for Reg to adjust before being thrown into the center of attention. Remus could understand that, it was sound logic. They didn’t really know how long it had been since the spell wore off, how long Regulus had been out of Lestrange’s claws. So they rode their horses in silence, trying to keep to the shadows, hoods pulled over their heads to obscure their features.

They arrived at the Dumais home quickly after entering the Citadel. Remus had never met Celeste Dumais, for all the time he spent with Pascal and Logan in the last three years Celeste was still just a name in passing to him. Until now. The woman that received them at the steps of the house had dark gentle eyes. She wore a green dress, not the royal color of Slytherin’s banner, more like the blue-green color of still ponds when night started falling. Calm, steady. 

She hugged Regulus tightly, wrapping around him and holding him close. Not unlike how Hope held Remus after a particularly bad nightmare. She waved them inside with a gentle smile, stopping Remus to whisper something to him. “Your brother arrived last night.” Remus nodded. He had asked Pascal if maybe Julian could stay with them to try and help Regulus cope with everything, the man had agreed immediately and Remus hadn’t wasted any time to send his brother the letter. 

When he crossed into the small living room he found his little brother, wearing a pair of brown pants and a white shirt with no shoes, sprawled on the ground along two of the Dumais children. A girl, who Remus suspected was Katie and Marc. Remus and Marc had met only once around two years ago, but the boy had rarely changed in appearance. Calliope laid curled up between them, giving a content huff when Katie scratched behind her ears. 

“You have a dragon?” Logan stared at the three with a stunned look that made Julian snicker. 

Remus walked forward, picking Calliope from the floor gently and letting her rest around his shoulders. He got closer to Logan, Calliope eyed him for a moment and then leaped down from Remus’s shoulders to Logan’s head, nuzzling her snout in his hair and coiling herself on his shoulder. Leo cooed at her, patting her side gently while Finn just looked on with a fond look. 

“Alright”, Celeste said, pulling everyone’s attention to her, “dinner will be served shortly and after that sleeping arrangements will be figured out. Kids go wash up.” 

Julian, Katie, and Marc got up, running to the washroom in a mess of light shoves and giggles. Celeste stared after them fondly and then turned on her heel, walking to another room and leaving the group alone. Regulus sat down heavily, letting himself flop to the side on the couch in a very unprincely manner. He groaned, smothering his face in one of the pillows and letting his hands drop to the sides. “M’so tired”, he muttered, words muffled by the ornate cushion, “can I just go to bed?” 

Sirius grabbed the cushion from his brother’s face with an amused smile. “You heard Celeste. Sleeping arrangements after dinner.” 

“But I already know whe—” 

Celeste came into the living room, interrupting what Regulus was about to say. “Come on, dinner is ready.”

~*~*~*~*~*

Regulus flopped down on the bed, pressing his forearm over his eyes. Celeste had given him his usual room, the same one he used to share with Sirius when they told their father they would go on a hunt, but were really visiting the Dumais family. He smiled a little at the memory. 

Dinner had gone alright, if not a little awkward for Regulus. Everyone else seemed to know each other well and it made him feel a bit out of place. That was of course until the dragon decided to jump down from Logan and jump onto Regulus’s lap and stay there for the rest of dinner, after that it had been a little easier for him. He had never expected to feel so at home surrounded by so many magic users, with a baby dragon napping on him, especially not after the last few months, but they made it easy. 

He heard a soft, almost timid knock, on his door. “Come in.”

The door opened, the hinges creaking softly, and in stepped Julian Lupin with Calliope perched on his shoulders. “Hey”, he said, waving shyly at Regulus. “I thought you could use some company.” He grabbed the small black dragon from his back and let her fall gracefully to the floor. She walked to the foot of his bed and leapt onto the mattress, snuggling up to Regulus’s leg. “She likes you a lot”, Julian commented, sitting down on the chair besides the bed. 

Regulus looked down at her, running his fingers down her spine gently. “I always thought dragons would be bigger… and mean.” 

Julian laughed under his breath. “They are pretty big. She’s just a baby still.” 

Regulus looked at him, hesitant. “If she’s just a baby then why would you trust me to be near her”, his voice had dropped at the end, Julian still heard it. 

“I don’t really have much say on who she chooses to spend time with”, he shrugged, “she’s her own being, intelligent. She trusts you for a reason and I’m not going to question it.” Julian smiled at him, it reminded Regulus of Sirius a little. “She’s a good judge of character.” 

“You’re a good kid”, Regulus said, voice a little breathless, he wasn’t used to people being nice. Much less being nice to him, not even his father. 

Julian beamed at him. “I would like to think so.” He grabbed Calliope and settled her on Regulus’s shoulders. “Come on, Katie and Marc missed you. Pretty sure Adele and Loui are two seconds away from barging in here and hugging you to death. You can’t hide in here all night.” 

“M’not hiding.” 

Julian just raised an eyebrow at him, just like Remus did when Regulus grumbled about the medicine for his nightmares. He turned around and headed for the door, Regulus following behind him. “Oh, before I forget”, he looked back over his shoulder, “call me Jules.” 

~*~*~*~*~*

The next morning Sirius couldn’t find Regulus anywhere. He would have panicked if he hadn’t known his brother was still inside the house. He walked over to Katie’s room, knocking on the wooden door gently. There was some rustling from inside, a small giggle and then the door was heaved open by Marc and Adele. “Is Regulus here?” 

Adele nodded, looking over her shoulder at something that made her smile, another giggle spilling from her lips. Sirius looked inside the room. Regulus was lying asleep on the big white carpet that Katie kept besides her bed. Julian was sprawled by his side, head resting on Regulus’s chest. Katie had curled up besides him, her arm thrown lazily over him, her hand was resting on Julian’s forehead. Sirius was taken back to when he and Regulus were younger and would wake up in similar positions with a much smaller Katie draped over both of them like a human blanket. 

Sirius didn’t want to wake him up. Quite frankly he didn’t want his brother back in the palace or anywhere near their father. Regulus had magic, there was no question about that, and Sirius didn’t want him to be around their father’s all encompassing hatred for anything magical. Reg had gone through enough during his time in the Lestrange estate. Sirius didn’t miss the far away looks and the flinching every time there was a sudden noise. He entered the room quietly, noticing that Calliope was also a part of the tangle of limbs where she had curled up between Reg and Julian. 

When Sirius reached their side he crouched down near Regulus’s leg, far away from everyone’s arm reach, and tapped his knee gently. His brother stirred and then settled again. “Reg”, Sirius whispered, tapping his knee again, “wake up.” 

Regulus grumbled in annoyance, peeking one eye open and groaning under his breath when he saw Sirius. “Leave me alone.” 

“We have to go.” Sirius poked at his rib with the toe of his boot. “Get up.” 

“Can’t”, he said, motioning lazily to the two teenagers and the dragon that had decided to tangle themselves around Regulus. 

“I’m giving you the time it takes us to get the horses ready to get up. If you’re not ready by then I’m dragging you out of here.” 

“You wouldn’t dare”, Regulus challenged.

“You’re right, I wouldn’t. Luckily for me Lily and Remus would dare”, Sirius had to bite down a smirk when Reg’s triumphant look disappeared. “So you better not be sleeping still when I get back.” 

“Threatening me with magic is treason, Sirius.” 

“So is harboring sorcerers, idiot”, Sirius replied in a teasing tone, “and I’m already hiding the magic of three potentially four. We’re past the point of treason.” 

“Fine”, Regulus grumbled, “I’ll get up.” 

“Good. You really don’t want to get dragged out of sleep by magic.” 

Regulus smirked. “Speaking from personal experience there, eh?”

”Perhaps”, was all Sirius said before walking out of the room. 

~*~*~*~*~*

Regulus held his breath for a few seconds, then nodded at Sirius. He looked back at the people behind him with a weary look. He was nervous to be back at the palace after months of being around Bellatrix. 

Now that he knew he had magic the palace didn’t seem welcoming, not that it had been very warm or pleasant anyway. But at least before it didn’t feel like he was walking to his own death sentence. Sirius put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing lightly. He let it fall to the rains of his horse and rode forward, leading the group into palace grounds and to where he could see Orion waiting. 

The king’s expression when he saw them didn’t change, his eyes remained as cold and sharp as ever, but Sirius noticed his shoulder slump ever so slightly in relief. Their friends hung back while Sirius and Regulus went to their father’s side, dismounting the horses and bowing their heads in respect.

 The king hugged Regulus close, not caring about the people around them. He placed a hand on his son’s back and guided him inside the palace, nodding at Sirius with a thankful expression. There was a proud gleam in his eyes. Sirius almost believed it was real. He nodded back, dipping his head in another bow before his father left, taking Regulus with him. 

No one missed the way Regulus tensed under his father’s touch. 

~*~*~*~*~*

Sirius took a deep breath, looking around the room. There was a bad feeling simmering just under his skin. After his father had announced the feast in honor of Reg’s return things had started moving too fast. The servants ran up and down corridors preparing the Hall and decorating the palace. The kitchens had been busy with food preparations and every Lord and Lady in the kingdom had confirmed their attendance to the feast. The feast he was sitting in now. It was a perfect storm for something to go incredibly wrong incredibly fast. People were happy and joyful. 

There’s more to lose when things are going great. 

Sirius saw Lily’s eyes flash dangerously in the direction of the high table, only for a moment but Sirius still caught it. Like always there was fire behind her gaze, and being in Orion’s presence had made the flames grow aggressively. The king didn’t seem to notice, too enraptured in the almost happiness of having his son back after so long. Sirius looked at Regulus from the corner of his eyes, sitting on their father’s left side while Sirius sat at his right. 

His eyes shifted to look down at the hall before him, painted in silver and green from the decorations and orange from the torches and lanterns. The feast had started less than an hour ago and Sirius already wanted to leave, take his friends and brother with him to anywhere else but this hall. Filled with lords and ladies that kept sneaking glances at the high table, at Sirius and Regulus. They looked at Sirius with something akin to awe and at Regulus with almost pity. No one missed the sunken cheeks, dark eyes, and tired posture the boy had. No one knew what he had gone through, not even Sirius, he just had an idea. And the idea was horrifying enough. 

King Orion stood up from his seat, silver goblet in hand and an almost real smile on his lips. “Friends, we are here tonight to celebrate the return of my son.” He turned ever so slightly and looked down at Regulus. Sirius watched his brother’s shoulders straighten a little, and an almost convincing smile pulled at Regulu’s lips. “For months his brother has looked for him and now he is here, back home where he belongs.” Orion lifted his goblet in, voice thundering across the hall. “To Sirius, for doing an excellent job in his quest.” The guest yelled his name, Sirius almost believed his father’s praise. “And to Regulus. Welcome home.” 

Before anyone could respond the doors of the hall slammed open. Silence fell, too loud in Sirius’s ears, and then footsteps. Light, graceful, the slightest thud of leather against stone. A woman’s voice spoke and a shiver ran down Sirius’s spine, dread pooling in his gut. “Dear uncle”, Bellatrix said, voice almost melodic, “why was I not informed of this… wonderful feast. The return of your son. I thought family would have a place at your table.” 

~*~*~*~*~*

Remus heard Leo give a low curse, shoulders tensing. The feast had been relatively peaceful so Leo’s change in demeanor made him feel uneasy. His blue eyes scanned the room frantically looking for something. What that was, Remus had absolutely no idea. He heard the king speak, heard the deafening response of the gathered crowd and then the king spoke again but it was all distant to him. A whisper of nothing, because Leo had trained his eyes on the door and his hands had twitched and before Remus could ask anything he felt it. Strong, poisonous, electric, and dark. Bellatrix was in the palace. 

He leaned to the side to whisper to Lily. He didn’t get to say anything, the doors opened, slamming against the stone wall, the sound shaking the room into a deafening silence. The toxic yellow color of her magic bleeding out of her dark silver irises. The room held its breath while she talked, looking at the king, the joy he had on his face at the beginning of the evening disappearing like it had never existed. His eyes were back to the cold, sharp silver blades that had plagued the nightmares of so many for decades. “Witch”, he hissed at Bellatrix. 

The words made her laugh, though it sounded more like a cackle. Remus had to tune her out, her voice made shivers run down his spine and pins prickle at his skin, leaving his brain useless. He needed to think, come up with something to get the woman out of the Hall. Because Reg had started shaking in his seat and Sirius was staring at Remus with an almost terrified expression. He touched the tip of his fingers to Lily’s arm, let his foot knock against Leo’s, the two turned to stare at him, Lily’s eyes lingering on Bellatrix for a moment. 

Her hands balled into fists, golden flames starting to lick into the green of her eyes, magic bubbling to the surface. Remus pressed his fingers under hers, making her hands relax enough for him to hold them as tightly as he could to try and keep her grounded. The message was clear, no magic, not where they can see. 

Remus tuned back to hear the last of  Bellatrix’s words. “You sit there all high and mighty, wearing a crown that does not belong to you.” Her cheerful tone from earlier had devolved into something like a hiss, as toxic and poisonous as her. 

Remus saw the moment her eyes shifted, not the acid color of her magic, this was something different, evil. She began chanting, a string of unintelligible words spewing from her mouth in what Remus recognized as an ancient spell. Black magic taking over her eyes like bleeding ink on a page. A piercing scream tore through the hall, it came from nowhere and everywhere at the same time, leaving Remus disoriented and dazed. What happened next went by too fast for him to process. Orion fell to the ground, head banging against the table and then the stone floor making Remus wince. That was a nasty concussion that would need a lot of time to heal if the king survived. Regulus and Sirius’s eyes rolled back in their sockets and they slumped against their chairs, looking lifeless except for the weak rise and fall of their chests. 

Someone screamed and then all hell broke loose. 

The first to stand were the knights, splitting up into two groups. One half attempting to guide the distressed guest away, who were running around in a panic and the other half facing down the woman that stood at the center of the chaos, yellow eyes gleaming. Logan faced her while the other knights formed a tight circle around her. 

Finn watched as Logan faced down the woman, his green eyes sharp and measuring. A heavy feeling set in Finn’s stomach, Bellatrix’s yellow eyes sending chills down his spine. He grabbed onto Leo’s hand tightly, letting his eyes stray from Logan for a second to look at his fiancé. “Can you do something”, he didn’t bother keeping his voice down, the only people left in the hall apart from them were the knights, the royal family and his friends. 

Leo shook his head, blue eyes swimming with flecks of deep gold. Ready to sacrifice everything for Logan. “No”, he choked out, “not with so many people in the room.” 

The air around the room became agitated, swirling around Bellatrix and kicking up dirt and dust. “Slytherin’s throne will soon be mine, little knight”, she cooed, a mad glint in her gaze. “You’d be a fool to try and stop me.” A cackle spilled from her lips, making Finn shiver. “These halls will soon be painted with your blood, little knight.” She smirked, and then she was gone in nothing but a flash of dust and lightning.  

~*~*~*~*~*

Remus was the first to move, standing and walking up the stone dais and behind the high table. He spared a glance at the princes, eyes lingering on Sirius’s slumped body, before kneeling beside the king and carefully checking his head for any major wounds. Two knights stood behind him, waiting for him to finish his examination, he nodded at them and stood up, stepping away to check on Regulus, letting the knights handle taking the king to Minerva’s chambers.

Regulus seemed to be alright, other than the magic induced sleep he was in, there was nothing that pointed to a bigger problem, but Remus wasn’t a healer and magic tended to go deep below the surface where no eye could see. He looked around the hall until his eyes met Leo’s and motioned for him to come over. The hall had been emptied after the king got carried out, the only people left were his friends and Pascal, who looked at Logan with worried eyes. 

Leo walked up to Remus. “Want me to check them over?” Remus nodded, shooting him a thankful look. Leo smiled back, gold starting to bleed into his blue irises and got to work. 

Finn held Logan close to his chest, the shorter man shaking and gripping onto Finn’s red shirt like a lifeline. Bellatrix’s words seemed to echo around the room, Slytherin’s throne will soon be mine, little knight. She was planning something, an invasion most likely, and she was definitely getting help from the spirit. Logan took a deep breath and untangled himself from Finn’s arms. “Let’s take Reg and Sirius to Sirius’s chambers.” Away from prying ears and eyes went unsaid. What Leo had been doing was fairly innocent, if you didn’t see the gold of his eyes you’d never know he was using magic, but Logan wasn’t taking his chances. 

Leo nodded for them to help him carry Regulus. Remus went to get Sirius with Lily’s help. The group carried the princes to Sirius’s chambers in silence, a heavy feeling settling over them like a bunch of stones. The moment they entered the room the air seemed to lighten, if only a little. They wouldn’t have to hide here, they could talk and plan like they usually did. They laid the brothers down on the bed gently, letting Leo continue with whatever it was he had been doing in the hall. 

“We need to get these protection charms as soon as possible”, Remus said, breaking the silence that had settled over them back in the hall. 

Remus let his eyes stray to Sirius’s face. He looked asleep, but not peaceful. He also noticed how pale Regulus had gotten. “What’s wrong?” Leo didn’t seem to hear him, he watched Regulus’s face calmly, looking for something. Remus looked at the younger boy, pale face, gaunt cheeks, dark under eyes, pinched face, clammy skin. A nightmare. Regulus was having a nightmare, a vision maybe, and Leo was just watching him. “Leo what are you doing?” 

“Waiting.”

“For what?” 

“For the vision to be over”, Leo answered. Remus saw something like worry flickered across his blue eyes, he didn’t want to keep Reg in that nightmare, he just didn’t have a choice. 

Regulus’s eyes flew open, a harsh gasp falling from his lips. He sat up, looking around the room frantically, breathing heavy. Leo put a hand on his arm gently. “You’re safe.” Blue eyes studied Regulus’s carefully, watched his shoulders tense, and then relax the moment the words registered in his head. “Do you want to talk about it?” Regulus shook his head, closing his eyes tightly. “Ok”, Leo let go of his arm, moving to stand besides Sirius who was still asleep, “you don’t have to talk.” 

Leo placed his hand on Sirius’s forehead, eyes glowing gold. Sirius gave a low groan, silver eyes fluttering open. Remus was at his side in an instant, placing a hand on his shoulder. He itched to gather Sirius up in his arms, but he couldn’t, not until his boyfriend was more aware of his surroundings. The man tensed under his palm for the second it took him to realize who it was. Sirius turned to look at Remus, grey eyes tired. “What happened?” 

“Bellatrix knocked you out and then threatened the entire kingdom. So you know, the usual.” 

“Great”, he said with a tired sigh. “What now.” 

“Well I’m going to talk to June about the charms. We need them as soon as possible”, he spared a glance at Logan who was now talking with his partners. “We’re going to need help with this battle, the knights of Slytherin know nothing about fighting magic users.” 

“I can go back to Ravenclaw to look for James”, Lily said, “maybe Thomas is with him.” 

Remus nodded, giving her a small grateful smile. “Finn”, he looked at the redhead, “do you think Alex can come?” 

“Sure”, Finn shrugged, “he’s always looking for an excuse to get into a fight.” 

Leo whispered something to Logan, a question apparently since the shorter man nodded in response. Remus decided he would ask later, when they had a more solid plan of action. Remus felt Sirius’s arm wrap around his waist, his head settling against Remus’s hip. “How long do you think we have, before she comes back I mean.” 

“As far as we know she’s working alone at the moment”, Lily answered, “Spirits can only do so much, fighting a whole army on her own would be stupid on her part.” 

“So we would have some time to form a plan and get backup?” Sirius frowned slightly, this felt a little too easy. He thought back to earlier that week, when they had rescued his brother. Getting into the house hadn’t been exactly simple, but getting out had. Bellatrix hadn’t been lying on the ground when they left the estate, that had left Sirius feeling uneasy. “Does anyone else feel like this is too simple?” 

“Definitely”, Logan answered, “she’s planning something else. Slytherin’s throne will soon be mine”, he said, repeating Lestrange’s words, “she doesn’t just want the throne. She wants the royal family dead.” 

“What about the other thing she said?” 

Leo answered Lily’s question, a somber look on his face. ���These halls will soon be painted with your blood.” 

Lily thought about it. It had sounded like a threat to Logan, but maybe—. “What she said, it was a promise.” 

“Of what?” 

Lily looked at Logan. “She’s going to destroy Slytherin, everything that Orion built. This kingdom was built on blood and war, she’s going to take it all down. Starting by erasing Orion and his bloodline.” 

“She wants to build a safe haven for all magic kind”, Remus added, “but she’s doing it wrong.” 

Leo hugged Logan from behind when he noticed the other man tense at Remus’s words. Leo had almost forgotten that just a few weeks prior Logan had been a part of the problem, it seems Logan hadn’t. The thought made Leo’s chest ache. “As much as we want Slytherin to be safe for us, this isn’t the way to do it”. Leo heard Logan exhale shakily at his words. “You can’t fix something by doing the same thing that ruined it in the first place.” 

“Leo’s right”, Remus said, running his finger soothingly through Sirius’s dark hair, “she can’t just take over and expect all of the people in this kingdom to accept it. Being violent is just adding wood to the fire, and killing Orion is a mistake.” 

“I never thought I’d agree with those words”, Lily said with a little humor. “I can assure you, she will kill anyone that opposes her.” 

“We can’t let that happen”, Sirius said, a determined gleam in his eyes, “we need to get everyone out. Especially the people in the lower town, she will go for them first.” 

Logan leaned back into Leo’s chest, a crease of worry in his face. “We can take them to Salazar’s fortress. It’s close to the river Godric, which solves the water problem.” 

“I can stay with them”, Regulus piped up, “I’ll be more useful there anyway.” 

Lily nodded. She walked to the door, pulling it open. “I’m going to go rest. I leave for Ravenclaw in the morning, it’s a long trip but I’ll try to be back as soon as possible.” She shot them a tired smile and left, the door closing with a loud thud behind her. 

“We should all go to sleep”, Regulus said, getting up. He stumbled slightly, regaining his balance quickly and walking to the door. “We have a long week ahead of us.” 

Everyone else followed after Regulus until the room was empty except for Sirius and Remus. Sirius scooted a little to the side to give his boyfriend space to lie down on. Remus did, wrapping his arms around Sirius when he laid his head on Remus’s chest. He gave a tired sigh, snuggling closer to his boyfriend. “I’m worried about Reg. He still won’t talk about his nightmares.” 

Remus tangled his fingers in Sirius’s hair. “Give him time, love . He’ll tell you when he’s ready.”

Sirius made a noncommittal sound. Remus could see a small crease of worry between his brows. Remus let his fingers tangle even more in Sirius’s dark curls, scratching against his scalp gently in soothing patterns. Sirius made a small tired humm, nuzzling his face into Remus’s chest. His breath evened out when he fell asleep, his shoulders relaxing, letting all the stress from the last few months bleed out of his body. Remus held him a little closer, trying to not think about Lestrange’s words or the possibility that he could lose Sirius. It didn’t work. An image appeared at the forefront of his mind, just behind his eyelids. Sirius falling to the ground, eyes unseeing, Bellatrix’s cackle resonating in his ears like a sickening melody. 

[pepperonyspizza]

Alright, here we go! As my first post, I decided to expand the amazing idea @sreppub came up with during Pepperony week. All credit for this concept goes to her! (Make sure to check out her art) 

~*~

Principal Tony x Substitute Teacher Pepper

“Your office is a mess, Tony,” Pepper comments as she makes herself comfortable on his couch. “Please tell me that you don’t allow students in here when it’s in this state.”

The man in question frowns where he’s sitting in his chair, pointing his chopsticks at her in a manner that is meant to be threatening but only causes her smile to widen. He might have scored more authority points if he hadn’t ditched his suit jacket and tie that early into their ‘meeting’.

“That is no way to talk to your superior, Miss Potts.” 

“Oh, is that so? What are you going to do? Fire me?” 

Tony huffs and shakes his head before bringing his attention back to the half-empty thai container in front of him. Pepper watches as he easily traps a piece of it between the chopsticks and lifts it towards his mouth. 

He catches her staring out of the corner of his eye and smirks, abandoning his previous plan to throw the food into the air and catch it with his mouth instead. His action causes him to crane his neck in a way that has Pepper staring for an entirely different reason.

“I read that doing this can make you choke.” “You’re reading an awful lot, don’t you?” 

“It comes as part of the job.”

“I figured,” Tony mutters as he continues to look at her, a soft smile playing around the corners of his mouth. When he fails to go back to his lunch, Pepper cocks her head to the side. 

“Got something on your mind?”  

His smile widens. “Always.” He puts down the chopsticks and pulls himself out of his slightly slouched position. The look on his face is serious, which is never a good sign. A serious Tony has something going on in that head of his that Pepper doesn’t necessarily agree with. 

“I have a proposition for you.” 

Pepper raises an eyebrow as she adjusts herself on the couch in his office, mirroring his rather professional posture. “You do?” 

“Mhm,” Tony hums. “I spoke to quite a few of the students that you’re teaching—”

“Those conversations hopefully didn’t happen in this office because—” “I spoke to some of your students,” he interrupts, rolling his eyes at her. “They all seem to love you. Not one of them had anything bad to say about yourself or your teaching.” 

Pepper feels warmth erupt inside her chest at that. She loves her students, every single one of them. They are the reason why she keeps coming back to this school, something she doesn’t usually do. 

Well, they are part of the reason, Pepper thinks as she looks at the smiling man seated behind his desk.  

“I have nothing bad to say about them either,” she replies eventually, treasuring the proud look that crosses Tony’s face. There has never been any doubt in her mind that he has his student’s best interest at heart. Always.

“Good, then this next part will be even easier.” 

Tony rests his hands on the desk, folded over each other in a way that makes him appear almost nervous, which happens rather rarely. Very few people can handle stress as well as he can. She frowns and leans forward to put her salad on the small table not far away, suddenly nervous herself. 

“What is it?” “I want to offer you a job as a full-time teacher here.” 

“Oh,” Pepper says rather dumbly, her lips setting themselves into a thin line as she processes his words. Saying that she’s never considered this would be a lie, and even she doesn’t go as far as trying to convince herself of something she knows to be false. “Tony, I don’t know—”

“I get it,” he quickly interjects, hands raised in the air. “I know that you like the independence that comes with your job but Pepper,” She wants to avoid his gaze but Tony’s eyes have the rare ability to completely grab her entire being and not let go. “Don’t you think it’s time that you settled for something more permanent?” 

She looks down, finding her hands to be very interesting all of a sudden. Living this kind of life, with no strings attached to anything has proven very useful time and time again - but Tony has a point and they both know it. Still, giving in feels like she’s accepting a loss - and she isn’t ready to do that right now. 

Tony clears his throat, the sound loud enough to make her lift her head and look at him once more. His fingers are drumming against the wood in a quick but steady rhythm as he waits for her reply. For some reason, as Pepper stares into his soft and brown eyes that seem more vulnerable than ever before, she can’t bring herself to directly tell him no. 

“Are we only talking about my job here?” 

The tapping stops, Tony’s finger hovering mid-air as he holds her gaze. He isn’t exactly smiling but the spark in his eyes turns playful as he answers, “You tell me, Miss Potts.” 

They’ve been dancing around this for a while now. While Tony usually doesn’t bother hiding his intentions, Pepper is a lot more restrained when it comes to this certain topic. It’s not that she doesn’t like him. She does, more than she probably should, given the situation. 

She redirects her attention back to the present just in time to catch the deep sigh that escapes Tony’s mouth as he gets up. He rounds the table, crossing his office to take a seat next to her on the couch, not close enough that they are touching but the heat radiating off his body is enough to catch Pepper off-guard. 

“I’m not trying to pin you down,” Tony explains and she anticipates his next words long before he grins at her in that typical Tony-fashion. “Not like that at least. I just think that you’d fit in here. The kids love you, your colleagues love you. I lo— like you. A lot.” 

She feels herself pale at his slip-up. 

“Tony—” “Honestly, all these L words can get you really confused,” he saves himself, the blush colouring his cheeks making him cuter than he has any right to be. “I’m serious though. Can you at least think about it? I don’t need your answer right now. I don’t even need your answer any time soon. The offer will be here for you to take for as long as you need to decide if—”

Pepper interrupts his rambling by leaning forward and pressing her mouth to his, her sudden movement causing Tony to freeze. His hesitation only lasts a split-second before his hands are cupping her face and he’s angling himself in a way that makes it easier to return the kiss with full force. 

Yes, they’ve been dancing around this for a painfully long time. 

Burying her hands in his soft brown curls (like she’s wanted to do since very the first time they’ve met), Pepper allows herself to drown in the feeling of his surprisingly soft lips and the contrasting rough scratch of his goatee. 

She doesn’t know how long the kiss lasts, not long enough in Pepper’s opinion, but their need to breathe wins over at some point, forcing both of them to pull back. Her heart is hammering in her chest as she looks at Tony, waiting for his reaction. She doesn’t know what she expects but the soft smile he grants her lifts some of the pressure off her body.

“Huh, that was unexpected,” Tony says before he’s leaning in once more to give her lips a shorter peck. “Not that I’m complaining. So, is this your answer?” 

“God, do you ever stop talking?”

“Nope. According to the students, I apparently love the sound of my own voice.” 

“There is nothing apparent about that.”

His chuckle is, quite frankly, one of the most beautiful sounds that Pepper has ever heard, even more so when it’s slipping out between his red-swollen lips. It’s not a sound that she wants to let go off, not for a long time. 

Maybe he’s right. Maybe it is time for a change in her life. This doesn’t mean that she’s stuck here forever. Tony will never keep her from following her dreams, even if they don’t involve him. 

“So, what do you say, Pepper?” Tony asks once more, his hand still cupping her face, thumb tenderly brushing over her cheek in such a soothing manner that has Pepper’s eyes fluttering. “How about something more permanent?” 

[nuoyipeach]

Fresh Start (seulyong os)

Feb. 18 2021

Taeyong regrets many things.

Being a coward in school. Bottling up his feelings. Never confessing to his best friend. Holding in the urge to do it even at her wedding.

Now he regrets something more than ever. He wished he knew. He wished he could have saved her from this. He wished he was the one going home and making her smile, not going home late only to make her upset.

Even her child. He wished she was his. He wished he was her dad. And frankly, the six-year-old sometimes wanted the same.

Taeyong brought her cake on her birthdays, her dad would come home and sleep. Taeyong helped her with her homework, her dad went on business trips. Taeyong helped her prepare a surprise birthday party for her mother, her dad didn't even remember.

"Why did mummy ever marry dad?"

"Don't say that Arin. If your mum and dad didn't meet you wouldn't be here." Taeyong answered as they drove home from school. Another thing, Taeyong always took her home when her mother couldn't, her dad would simply drive past.

"Still, I'd rather not be here than have a dad who never looks at me." she sighed. For a seven-year-old, Arin was quick to catch how absent her father always was. "I wish I was your baby... You're the best."

Taeyong smiled at her, a little sadly. How he wished the same.

Especially now that he found out something. Something he knew would break Arin's heart for sure. He didn't even have the courage to tell Seulgi what he saw, but he pushed himself to it knowing this was not right in any means.

He regrets even more now. He regrets not being around when she was dating this man to see his true colours. He regrets not stopping them from marrying for his own selfish reasons, because he knew for sure he would never think to hurt Seulgi like this.

He'd never have another lady behind her back.

Reaching Arin's home, he let her run in while he helped carry her bag in. "Arin can you call your mum out? I have to speak with her." the little girl nodded and ran in to call out her mother. Taeyong walked in and sat on the couch, shaking his leg and looking down as anxiety ate him up.

"Hey Taeyong." he heard her cheerful voice, the one that always made him happy. But now it made him sad. He looked up with a sad smile and watched as she sat next to him, already sensing something wrong. "What happened?"

Taking a deep breath, Taeyong looked right in her eyes. "Seulgi, you're my best friend, since forever almost. And I'd do anything to keep you happy. But... There's something I have to tell you."

"OK... What is it?"

"I... I caught him with someone else. Thrice actually..."

"Get out."

Taeyong's eyes widened, confused by her sudden command. "What?"

"Get out Taeyong. I never thought you'd go this far." Seulgi stood up, obviously angry as her hands fisted her shirt.

Taeyong stood as well. "What are you talking about Seulgi? I'm trying t-"

"I know what you’re doing. I know that you've liked me for a while now. And honestly, I'm upset you didn't tell me this before I got married to someone else. But that's over for me because I already had my love life, and I don't care for your bullsh*t stories to break up my family. I'm happy the way I am."

Taeyong was shocked, by every part of her sentence. The fact that she knew, the fact that she was upset, the fact that she doesn't care, but mostly the fact that she thinks he's lying to get her back. Anger boiled up in him, as Taeyong was not someone who liked being accused of things.

"Seulgi, as much as I still have feelings for you, that's not why I'm doing this. I did see him with another lady, three times. I'm not telling you this to break you up, trust me I would have done that long before you married. I'm telling you this because you're still my best friend, and I don't want you to suffer." Seulgi simply pointed at the door, motioning him to get out. No matter what Taeyong was the angriest here. He scoffed and turned to the door. "Have it your way then. You won't be hearing from me anymore I guess, since this is the part you refuse to speak to me further thinking I'll make up more stories to break your family. Well, I have better things to do than this, so don't bother."

Taeyong regretted what he did. He regrets cutting off from Seulgi just like that. He regrets not answering her calls. He regrets not picking up Arin from school.

He regrets not being there when the car sped up towards her.

He drove as fast as he could, reaching the hospital in no time and ran to where Seulgi had texted him they were. He reached the room after going up several floors in the elevator, and peeked in, suddenly losing all strength in his body.

He dragged himself inside and stood next to Seulgi's crouched body beside the bed, a small body laid in it covered with mask and other such equipment. Seeing her face broke Taeyong's heart even more.

"Arin..." he gently cupped her cheek in one hand and held her shoulder in the other, lightly shaking her. "Arin, wake up. I'm here, it's me uncle Yong. Baby wake up please, and I'll take you to the fair. Remember you promised me you'd get first in class? It doesn't matter. Wake up and we'll go right away baby." his voice trembled while Seulgi's loud sobs continued and he couldn't help break down soon. "Arin please, you- you need to wake up. Don't make mummy sad, you hate that. Arin..."

Unable to hold it in any longer, he let his head fall into her chest and cried out loud. "Arin I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry baby for not being there... I shouldn't have cut the call, I should've known better. Please baby wake up..."

Taeyong rarely left Arin's side. After Seulgi, he was the second person who was always with her, except for work and when he had to go home. He'd sit there and read to her like he did during her bedtime when they had sleepovers or tell her about any promotion he got at his job. Seulgi would watch and was happy, but Taeyong would catch her on her phone talking to her husband, who only came once in the past month. It was to the point Taeyong memorised what excuses he'd give.

I'm busy.

I'm tired.

Tomorrow

I've got meetings.

Sorry, too much paperwork.

Even the couple’s parents came more than he did himself obviously. When Seulgi's parents came they were beyond happy to see Taeyong. They've always favoured him when growing up, and also knew about his feelings for Seulgi but he told them to keep quiet about it. Although again, he regrets that.

But they were also the ones other than Taeyong who knew about her husband's dirty secret. Except for Seulgi and her in-laws, many friends and family knew. But when Taeyong told them how she had reacted they kept quiet, knowing she'd be too broken to hear, especially now.

When Seulgi's in-laws visit, they always give Taeyong the stank eye, as if he was here to cause trouble.

"Seulgi where's my son?" her mother-in-law asked as she eyed Taeyong going through Arin's daily health checks.

"He said he's busy again. He only came the second day." she replied to which her mother-in-law sighed and left the room. Seulgi's mother was present and looked as her daughter also sighed, sick of having to deal with her in laws always questioning about her husband, when they could easily contact their own son themselves.

And that's another thing both her mother and Taeyong noticed.

It had been a month and she was sick of seeing her daughter remain so naïve, and now she broke her limit. As her in laws left, she shut the door immediately and locked it, then looked at her daughter who stood confused. Taeyong's eyes widened and he quickly turned away, busying himself with Arin.

"Seulgi how much more is it going to take you to realise that he's cheating on you and that his family is fully aware? How much longer do I have to watch my only child and grandchild go through this mess? Why are you being such a rock head? What do you have to be so protective over? What's wrong with you!?!"

Seulgi stood shocked. The last time she heard this was her fight with Taeyong, and to hear it from her mother caught her off guard.

"Mum what do you mean? Why are you saying this?"

"Taeyong told you, yet you didn't listen. Well listen to your mother, everyone's seen him around with that other lady, even your cousin. Yet we never could tell you because Taeyong stopped us when he didn't see. He saw how happy you were, especially with Arin around, he didn't want us to ruin your happiness, that's how much he loved and cared for you. But when he saw it himself, he regretted so many things, you don't know how we had to stop him from doing anything rash. He finally picked up the courage to tell you, but you didn't listen. Look what happened, Arin's in coma! I'm not blaming either of you, but maybe if you would've listened to him and not break out a fight none of this would have happened in the first place!"

Seulgi tugged her hair back, letting out a frustrated sigh. "Taeyong get out." she suddenly mumbled.

Taeyong looked up surprised. "What?"

Seulgi turned around in a rush and faced him. "Get. Out. Go, leave. I don't want you around right now." Taeyong looked at her mother who signalled him to do as she said. He put down the clipboard of Arin's checks and silently walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. Her mother then faced back to her only to see tears streaming out of her eyes, her legs giving in as she fell sitting on the empty space of Arin's bed.

The elder lady walked up to her and held her hand. She was her mother, and if anything she knew her feelings the most over anyone else in their lives. "Honey, I know something's not right with you. Tell me, talk to me." she cupped Seulgi's face and raised her head up to look at her. "You're my baby no matter how old you grow, I know from the start honey, that you've loved Taeyong as much as he loves you still."

Seulgi cried even more, hiding her face in her mother's chest. Her mother combed her hair as she herself let out tears seeing what kind of a mess her child was in, something no loving mother would want their children through.

"Talk to me Seulgi, please."

"I loved him mum, I still do. But he was so distant with me suddenly, I didn't know why. That's why I moved on, that's why I met Arin's dad, that's why I married him because no matter how long I waited, Taeyong never said a thing. No matter how many times I messed around with guys, Taeyong kept quiet." she felt her mother move away slightly and lost the warmth for a second before she felt it again.

But it felt different, and she knew why. She fisted her hands hard and started hitting the body holding her. "You're an asshole! Why didn't you say anything! Why did you let me do all that! Why didn't you force me to break up back then! Why can't you be selfish! Why Taeyong, just why didn't you do something!"

Taeyong's face wasn't any drier as he had heard the entire conversation she had with her mother, who now stood outside instead. He realised how his kindness was a pain, how his warm heart back then only led to so many being hurt now. How he regrets not being selfish back then.

"I still love you Seulgi, but I'm such a coward. I didn't know you loved me back, I didn't know all those stunts you pulled back then was to get my attention. I didn't want to hurt you, I wanted you to be happy, even if that meant losing you to another man..."

"F*ck you Lee Taeyong!" Seulgi screamed as she stood up, shocking Taeyong who knew for the longest that she was not one to curse this easily. "F*ck you and your kindness!" she continued to cry. Taeyong pulled her into his embrace, letting her cry into his chest while his hands caressed her back.

"Leave him. He's not worth your time. Even as we speak he's off with someone else."

Seulgi pulled away and stared at him, crying suddenly stopped as her eyes burned with anger. "I won't leave him." she said catching him off guard. "Not until you kiss me."

Taeyong was even more shocked, knowing it wasn't right. "I... You're married to someone else, I can't kiss a marr-"

"Shut up!" she pushed him away. "If you're still going to be the kind person in this situation, then forget it. I won't leave him without a fight, until I do what he's putting me through. Kiss me, or I won't listen to you, or even my mother. I'll stay with this man even if he thr-"

Taeyong had had enough of her talk, enough of her stubbornness, something he was pretty fond of but not now. And he did as she wished. He grabbed her arm and pulled her roughly, colliding her lips with his own. Seulgi wasn't one to wait and her hands wrapped around his neck tight as she returned the kiss. He let go of her arm and snaked both his hands around her waist, both adults pulling their bodies closer to each other wanting not a single waste of space between them, wanting to make up for the time they lost all those years.

Out of breath, Taeyong pulled away slightly, their foreheads still pressed together as they both took shallow breaths. His eyes were fixed at her swollen lips before looking directly into hers, and suddenly he saw a glint of joy in them.

"Only you could ever make me break laws and morals..." he spoke quietly to which she chuckled.

"Sometimes it's better to be the bad person Taeyong, especially for revenge." she replied before claiming his lips again. But Taeyong was quick to pull away this time, his hold on her now gentle.

"What will you do now?"

"I'm calling him now, our marriage is over. I'll get annulment papers tomorrow itself."

Taeyong smiled proudly at her, before he remembered Arin. "What about Arin?"

Seulgi turned behind looking at her child, still laying lifeless on the bed. She thought deeply for a second, then turned back to Taeyong as she figured it all out simply. "She loves you, more than her father. He was rarely present while you were. You took care of her when he couldn't even feed her. She loves you and sees you as the man in her life, more than she even sees him as her father. Whatever happens, I know for sure she wouldn't care much if he's gone. Hurt yes, that she no longer has a father, but with you around, she won't be sad for long."

It wasn't as easy as she thought as her in laws gave quite a fight, denying the cheating accusations Seulgi threw at their son and claiming that she cheated instead. It wasn't until Seulgi swore on Arin that she never did such and yelled that even they knew about their son's affair but were too ashamed to admit it. And as usual the man arrived late, and to his family's surprise didn't hesitate much on agreeing to the divorce, even giving Seulgi full custody over Arin with no request of seeing her weekly.

During the whole ordeal Taeyong stood by Seulgi's side along with her mother, as he was her lawyer. And he didn't miss the obvious stank eye her in-laws kept giving her still, as if he was the cause of all this. At one point her mother-in-law even stood against him.

"You set this up, didn't you? You're the reason for this mess!"

"Ma'am your son himself has agreed to the annulment and accepted the claims. There's nothing more to this."

"Then why are you always around? I know for sure you got Seulgi to do this!"

Taeyong huffed dropping the file with the ex-couples’ signatures onto the table, anger clear in his eyes. "Ma'am, if there's anybody to blame here it's your son. Seulgi has been my best friend since elementary, me always being there was nothing out of the norm. Trust me in different situations I would have befriended your son as well through her. But I never attempted it because I knew what he's been doing. We've got many witnesses against him as well, so please don't make this so hard for me. I'm nothing but a lawyer here, and I'd like to solve my cases quickly and quietly, no drama."

The elder woman was about to speak when her son, now Seulgi's ex-husband, held her back. "Mum stop being so dramatic. What's done is done, let it go. I really don't care about this right now." he spoke, his attitude nonchalant and turned back to his phone.

Taeyong didn't want to drag this any longer do collected the papers together and filed them. "It will take two weeks to officiate, until then you can start moving out and discuss on possessions. If you need any help deciding those you can give me a call, however I expect that it shouldn't be too much of a problem."

"Not at all." the man replied before turning to Seulgi. "You can take all of your things and Arin's, and whatever I had gifted you too like the car, just take it."

"How can you give her so easily?" his mother yelled again.

"Because it's her right?" he replied sarcastically. "I'm the one who cheated, besides what's me keeping those things going to do for me. I don't need anything to remind me of them laying around the house."

Seulgi's blood boiled at his words. How could she have wasted all those years of her life on such a man who doesn't even show care about his own child? She looked away from them and saw Taeyong filing the final paper before standing up.

"Well then, that's all. You may leave now. You will get the letter in two weeks." and not surprisingly, her ex-in-laws were quick to leave along with the man. Seulgi's family sat there and sighed looking at each other then Taeyong, who just sat back after putting the file in his urgent cabinet.

"Well, I guess we should go now." her father spoke up. "We need to help you pack your things and move out right. Hopefully doesn't take too long, I don't want to be in that house."

Seulgi nodded sadly, when Taeyong spoke up. "No need, I've arranged for movers, they'll do it for you. I'll be there, you can come too if you want to Seulgi, but they're going there in about half an hour, so it shouldn't take too long."

The family smiled at him in gratitude, when they noticed Seulgi's fatigued face. Her mother held her hand and turned to face her. "What's wrong sweetheart?"

"Where will I go?" she whispered. "I can't move in with you guys with so much. It's a burden. I'm unemployed too, I can't afford a house now..." she held back her tears, when she noticed everyone quiet. Looking up she was shocked to see them all smiling mischievously, except for Taeyong who had a nervous look.

"Well," her father spoke up, "you actually do have a place all ready for you, and Arin." he said, eyes darting towards Taeyong, causing Seulgi to turn to him too.

"What do you mean?"

Taeyong rubbed the back of his neck, nervous from thinking what to say. "Well... I should have asked you, but I prepared my house for you to move in, with me." he looked at her directly and saw her bewildered expression. "I mean if you don't want to its completely fine, we can help you find somewhere else. Or you can stay with your parents and store your stuff at my place for now."

Seulgi bit her bottom lip looking down at her fumbling hands, all eyes in the room on her. "I... I don't know for sure. I don't want to bother you too much. And I have to watch over Arin. An-”

“Seulgi,” her mother cut her off, “how much longer are you going to underestimate Taeyong?” she looked at her mother, slightly confused. “You should go to his house with him now. Leave the movers to us, what’s more important is to change you Seulgi.“

In the next fifteen minutes Seulgi stood with Taeyong in the elevator heading down to the garage to his car. It was an awkward silence, until Taeyong suddenly moved closer and held her hand. “I have to ask you. Do you perhaps have something else in mind?”

Seulgi looked up to see his saddened eyes. “What do you mean?”

“If you don’t want to, you don’t have to be with me. It feels like I’m forcing you, and I don’t want that. If you want to be on your own with Arin go ahead, I’ll still be by your side, so there’s nothing for you to worry about losing.“

Seulgi chewed her bottom lip. Truth was, she loved the idea. Waking up every morning next to Taeyong, having his arms around her, waiting for him to come home from work while she prepared his meal, having dinner as they talked about the day, spending the nights together cuddling (or making love). She always wished it was him. When she was married for the past eight years, she completely erased those fantasies from her mind, but whenever she saw him playing with Arin or helping her with errands, she couldn’t help wishing it was him for a split second before reminding herself she was a married woman.

Now she doesn’t have to stop it. But another worry filled her mind.

She wanted to give him time, she wanted to take some time herself as a matter of fact. It felt so fast, one moment she’s married, the next she’s divorced, the next she’s moving with another man already. All while her daughter, the light of her life, was in the hospital.

The elevator bell got her attention back to reality, and she quickly followed behind as Taeyong had already walked out, evidently hurt by her silence as an answer. While in the car driving to his house, which she realised she barely even knew the way to, she thought of an answer, not wanting to leave him with silence.

“Taeyong...” he replied with a hum, “I... I don’t know what I want. Don’t get me wrong, I love you, I want nothing more to start my life over with you. But... It feels so fast. I thought we could have a fresh start, take a step at a time you know. But at the same time, I don’t want to go through it all again. Then there’s Arin. I need to think about her. It’s obvious he won’t be taking part in her life anymore, I’m all she has...”

The car came to a halt and she realised they had already reached Taeyong’s double storey house. She peeked around and found it was in a quiet neighbourhood, and it was big but felt very homely. She watched as he got out and followed behind him until entering the house. Taeyong not once has said a word to her, and it was starting to make her emotional. Did she hurt him with what she said? She stood in the middle of the hallway, trying to fight back her tears, when a hand slipped into her own.

“I want to show you something.“ Taeyong said softly before pulling her along across the living room to the second floor. There was another hallway, then what seemed like a family living area, then three doors, then what she figured were the rooftop patio doors at the end of the hallway. He tugged her to one of the doors and motioned for her to open it. All the while Seulgi wondered why he had such a big house to himself, but shook off the thoughts as she turned the handle and entered...

A kid's room. The walls were coloured baby pink, a white high platform bed with drawers on the side, a shelf with several toys and books, and a table with colour pencils scattered on them. She also spotted two doors, one guessing the bathroom while the other looked like a closet room, though it seemed locked.

However, everything looked as if no one had touched a thing for the longest time.

“You know, whenever Arin stayed over, this was her room.“ he suddenly said catching her attention as Seulgi looked at him, obviously confused why he would dedicate an entire room to her child. “Don’t take this the wrong way, I had no intention of breaking your family. But I also had no intention starting my own. I felt like staying single for the rest of my life was the better option. When Arin started staying over, it made me feel alive to have someone around. And when her visits became frequent, I figured giving her a room here wouldn’t have been a bad idea. Whenever you were busy and she stayed, I’d let her take over this place. Ever since our, well, fight, this room became unused. It hurt me, if I may be honest, that I lost you in more than just one way. This room wasn’t just for Arin, but whenever I felt sick of my life I’d come here and look at her drawings. She loves to draw, same as you, and looking at them would help me relive childhood moments, when I was happy. When I was with you.“

Seulgi looked back at the room, walking towards the wall with all of Arin's drawings hung up. Some were of her and her mother, some with Seulgi's parents, and some with Taeyong.

None of her own father.

She then continued to the shelf of toys, before looking back at Taeyong. "You bought her so many things..." she said when he gave a chuckle.

"They're ours."

"What?"

Taeyong walked next to her, looked at the shelf before picking out a small toy and handing it to her. "They're our toys, well some of them, the ones that survived I guess. I had them in a box in my basement, and Arin somehow found them. I must say, she gave me quite a heart attack when I couldn't find her that time." he laughed softly remembering the day he had almost lost his life unable to find the child, only to see her playing with the toys in the basement.

"You gave them to her?"

"Yes. Back then there was nothing in this room except for the shelf. When I saw her playing with them, I allowed her to have them to herself and let her put them on the shelf so she could get them easily. That was when I decided to give her this room."

Taking her hand, he led her to the bed and sat down with her. Her hands felt around the covers. "And this bed?"

"I got it recently, after our talk at the hospital. I guess I got excited to finally have you with me, and I figured the first step to our relationship would be Arin's life."

Seulgi didn't care to hold back her tears, moving closer into his arms. "How did you accept..." she mumbled into his shoulder.

"Accept what?"

"Arin." she moved away and spoke. "Any other person would have been hurt to see the person they love marry away and have a family of their own. How did you love Arin so much, despite her father being him?"

Taeyong sighed, hand running through her hair before cupping her cheek. "In my eyes Arin was your child. Yours and only yours. Of course I acknowledged her father, but I treated her like my own. I sound selfish, I'll admit I sometimes thought I was going crazy, a psycho for having such thoughts. But I couldn't help it... Especially when I found out he was cheating, I knew I had to be there for you two."

Seulgi leaned against his chest, and with his arm around her, Taeyong slolwy laid down with her. Her hand stroked his clothed chest while his fingers threaded through her locks hummin softly to their favourite song since they were young. They stayed like that in silence for a long time, until he felt her head turn to look up at him so he faced her.

Seulgi stared at him quietly but he could tell she was thinking hard about something. “Taeyong...” he hummed in response. “Will you please adopt Arin?”

Seulgi was moved in by the next day, and Taeyong showed her their new bedroom (technically not a new bedroom, but new to them as a couple). He also helped her move Arin’s things into her room.

A week after she received the divorce letter, the two were already at his office again signing marriage papers, and Taeyong’s adoption over Arin. Seulgi almost teared up watching him sign the adoption papers, and gave him permission to change Arin’s last name to his. It wasn’t just for him though, but Seulgi didn’t want Arin to wake up as that man’s daughter anymore. She wanted Arin to have a better life, with a better father.

The couple had also agreed to not hold any sort of ceremony or such until Arin was better, not just awake, but awake and living. They both prioritised the young girl’s life more than anything else to them, and ever since her doctor allowed for Arin to be kept at home, they even slept in the same room with bedding on the floor, not leaving her alone for a second.

Taeyong once caught Seulgi up at night, crying holding her daughter’s hand. He got up and sat closer to her, hugging her from behind. "It will get better, I promise." he whispered, his hand holding hers which held onto Arin's. She cried even more, turning towards him and hiding her face in his chest.

"I miss her. I feel like I'm losing her day by day. I can't even remember the last words she said to me anymore. I keep having dreams, hallucinations, that she's here with us, playing around the house. Whenever you go to work, when I'm cooking or doing anything, I keep seeing her..."

Taeyong shushed her kissing her forehead, his hand now in her hair while the other pulled her into his lap and stayed at her hips. He knew what she meant, he noticed it too. Whenever Seulgi was silently doing an errand, he'd catch her look straight ahead and suddenly smile. He knew why, but he never bothered her about it, scared she may have not realised it and would only make her worry more.

"I'm tired Taeyong... I feel like giving up."

"Hush Seulgi, don't say or do that. Don't think about it. We will have her back, I promise."

Seulgi only sighed, letting out more tears. "We've done everything. Talk, play music, they said she'll wake up soon. When is soon? It's killing me. I’m going crazy."

Taeyong silently kept craddling her until he felt her go limp and knew she was asleep by then. Slowly he laid her back down on the floor bed they had, not once letting go of her hand as he laid beside her.

As if Arin’s position wasn’t hard enough, Seulgi cried locking herself in the closet. It was Valentine’s Day a week ago, & the couple had decided to take just one day to themselves and rest easy to spend some alone time.

Now she regrets not taking precaution, thinking her timing was safe.

“Seulgi, please open up. I saw it, in the trash. Love come out so we can talk it through. I won’t push you for anything, you know that Seulgi.“

She opened the door and threw herself into Taeyong’s arms, wanting nothing more than silence. Taeyong knew this, and gently carried her up to their bed, still hugging her. They remained quiet for a long time, until she took slower breaths and eased her body. He looked down at her trying to see her expression, giving her forehead a gentle kiss.

“Do you want to keep it?“ he asked softly. “It’s entirely up to you. I’m sorry this happened so suddenly, you have every right to make whatever decision it is.“

Seulgi looked up at him, then hid in his chest again. She didn’t know what to do. For some reason even she couldn’t think of, she had too many conflicitng thoughts going through her head.

What if another child takes their attention away from Arin?

What if Taeyong really disapproves of abortion?

What if having the baby gives them some peace?

What if Arin wakes up happier than ever to this baby?

What if Taeyong forgets about Arin having his own child?

What if hearing the baby will wake up Arin?

What if...

“I don’t know...” she cried again. “I don’t know what to do. There’s so many things, what if Arin loves it and wakes up, or what if you push Arin aside...”

“Hey!“ Taeyong pushed her out and held her by the shoulders. “You know I love Arin more than anything. Why would you say that? That hurts my feelings... I love her Seulgi. If I didn’t I wouldn’t have done so much for her even before our relationship.“

Seulgi looked down feeling guilty of having such thoughts. She knew very well how much Taeyong loved her daughter, how much he would give up for her. She looked back at him and shook her head apologetically. “I’m sorry... You’re right, I shouldn’t have thought of that.”

Taeyong sighed before hugging her again. “It’s OK. But tell me, about this now.” he said holding her head to his chest.

After a long silence, Seulgi looked back at him with a nervous look. “Do you think Arin would love a younger sibling?”

Taeyong smiled and cupped her cheek. “Arin’s a sweet girl. I’m sure she’d love nothing more than becoming an older sister. Remember how she took care of you when you got sick, and she was only five.” he chuckled softly. Seulgi smiled and looked down to their intertwined hands, the ring on his finger bringing her some sort of reassurance of trust.

part 2 (cuz this is getting too long😅)