#rare misprint books

[yourcoffeeguru]

RARE HARRY POTTER And The Half-Blood Prince 2005 RARE Misprint 1st Australian Edition - Collectible || autradingpost

[elves-and-androids]

I see a lot of people talking about Crowley using his plants as a reframing device for his trauma and negative self-image, but nobody’s talking about Aziraphale doing something similar with his books. He loves rare first editions and bizarre misprints -- books that many people wouldn’t be interested in outside of that niche of collectors. Books that are “incorrect” or “wrong” because they break the mould or go outside of the status quo or breach people’s expectations. 

Because he himself has fallen short of the expectations of his heavenly peers time and time again, and is acutely aware that they think he is “wrong” for being that way.

Perhaps he keeps the bookshop stuffed to the brim with misfit books and is always hunting for more because he sees himself somewhere in them. He likes them for being different and recognizes himself in how they are outcast for being that way. So he chooses to surround himself with them, not only to remind himself that there is no such thing as “perfection” but also to remind himself that it is possible for a misfit to be loved and to belong. It’s like his own little fortress of misfits where he can be comfortable being himself.

[crowleyholmes]

Guys help I think Crowley is possessing me I am very suddenly overcome by such a WAVE of love for Aziraphale????

I mean I've always loved him but Jesus Christ it just got turned up to 100 suddenly I mean he's just so GOOD isn't he???!!!

He's so kind and he's so nice and he's so PRETTY I mean have you seen him in his little outfit with the comfortable-old-couch waistcoat he refuses to ever take off and the silly little bowtie he thinks is so stylish and you know it actually KIND OF IS but ONLY on him??!?! and that beige coat that suits him so well and he just looks so well put together and also so soft and cozy at the same time like HAVE YOU SEEN HIM???

And he's so gentle and he's so full of love for everyone and everything and he always tries So Hard to do the right thing... and he's so ready to change his mind about what The Right Thing is when he is presented with new information like that is such a rare trait!

And he's so FUN, you know all his weird little hobbies I mean who collects old prophecy books and misprinted bibles ONLY this weirdo!! And he's so obsessed with silly little magic tricks that aren't even magic at all when he could very easily do real magic instead but noooo, making people think you're doing real magic when your Not Actually doing real magic is so much more fun apparently idk??? And he collects licenses (shooting guns, driving cars, literally who knows what else, at this point I wouldn't be surprised if my guy knew how to scuba dive and fly a plane), and he learned French the hard way just because?? He likes learning I guess?? And he's so bad at it, it's so silly it's Infuriating but it's also so endearing he's taking such JOY in it!!

And maybe you'd THINK that's all he is, sweet little goofball, but no!!!! Beneath all that soft exterior, this very intentionally soft and fun and kind exterior that he's carefully cultivated for millennia, he's also so incredibly brave. I think about how he was ready to face the thing he feared the most, to save three innocent kids. He was so ready to give up everything he had, fall from grace and spend eternity in hell, just so these kids could live. Just so that family would be spared the grief. Just so they could have a few more short years of human happiness. He lied to his boss for justice and he lied to GOD for justice and he somehow got away with it who does that??? AZIRAPHALE IS WHO. And he Never backs down did you see him pick up his little sword at almost-Armageddon when Lucifer himself rose from hell to end it all and my angel was ready to fight Satan Himself if he had to HELLO???

And then he blew up his halo and casually declared war on hell to save two humans and his former boss and his bookshop what a fucking badass!!?!?

And have I mentioned how pretty he is yes I have but it's worth mentioning again because have you seen his eyes?? Color of the fucking sky, they are, and his nose is so perfectly shaped and his stupid lips with his stupid cupid's bow, and his hair!! Is just so Damn soft it's and I just want to watch him be himself and do his thing but I also want to HOLD him and protect him and keep him safe from everything because if anything ever happened to him I-... UGH.

I don't KNOW.

I JUST LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

[generational-atrophy]

Hi!!!!!!

Can I request the main 8 with a poet/writer s/o?

The main 8 find their s/o's poems or writing about them and it's like how much they love them !!!

(hopefully this makes sense :D have a nice day!

Also your writing super coolio )

hetalia allies + germany with a s/o who's a writer

1.6k words ~ gender neutral heacanons + mini scenarios

tw: swearing, thats it!

a/n: i believe this is after the cutoff so its only 6 characters sorry! also ty :)

America

Alfred may not seem like it, considering his less-than-stellar attention span, but he can be quite an avid reader if he wants to be.

In fact, when he was travelling the western frontier, he often wrote poems himself.

He loves your work, (he’s always the first one showing up on release day!) but he doesn’t love how much time it takes away from you.

Seeing you exhausted and frustrated after a long night, trash can filled with discarded drafts, just breaks his heart. He’ll make sure your office is always stacked with 

Alfred wasn’t usually so easily swayed by cheesy romances, despite his sweet soft for them. But now, reading your book, he couldn’t help flushing at every interaction his favourite couple had.

The one he was reading now, well, it just took the cake. Spending the day wandering East Potomac Park? It was something out of his dreams- just endlessly… familiar?

Wait, hadn’t he done that recently with you?

Oh.

He set the book aside, burying his face in his hands as he blushed wildly.

Guess the blue-eyed, blond love interest hero was a bit more than a stereotype after all.

England

Ah, a writer. Arthur has long admired the literary arts, having many a classic writer come from his home. Yes, he’d quite enjoy someone like that.

He loves reading your work, regardless of what it is, but he’d prefer you read it to him. Then he can get all of your silly little notes along with it. Just for him <3

Although he wouldn’t appreciate you spending all day working. He’s not needy usually, but by the time you two go to bed, he’s DESPERATE for your attention.

He tries not to disturb you, though.

From the moment he picked up your work, he could tell where your inspiration for the main love interest came from. Sandy-haired, green eyes, tall but not too tall, always how you had described him.

Of course, that made his reading even more of a joy.

The only thing that bothered him was how the protagonist described themself. Always dismissed, below-par, never worthy of his love. Now, that just wouldn’t stand.

So he began to write as well. In between the margins, on attached papers, on the sides, everywhere. Correcting every disparaging thought.

Then when he finished, he handed the book back to you, with a cheeky comment.

“It was absolutely wonderful, my love.”

Whether you ever saw the notes or not didn’t matter. He had made the book even more perfect, at least to himself.

France

As said before, Francis is a very artsy guy. Very artsy. Although he’s not always skilled at making art himself… so having another artist would help with that.

He’s absolutely the number one collector of your works. Every scrap, every trashed draft, every misprint, he’s keeping everything.

He’s also pretty ok with how much time it takes! It gives him time to relax, or maybe even join in working on creative projects.

Although he would insist on regular breaks. Fortunately, Francis is a hedonist at heart, so those breaks will always provide much inspiration.

True beauty is rare. Living for so long had proven that time and time again for Francis. It isn’t natural, it isn’t easy, and it never lasts. But…that doesn’t make the pursuit of it any more meaningless.

Even more rare than its existence, is the constant presence of it.

But when he read your poems, venerating and elucidating your own feelings, he felt as if he had found it. God, it was beautiful. Your words, unlike any other’s he had read in his many years, made him feel as if he was falling in love all over again.

Instantly, he was transported into your shoes, viewing himself in a light that had never been shone on him before.

He wasn’t entirely sure what to do with himself now. It felt wrong- wrong to not give absolute reverence to this piece of art.

If he had had access to the Louvre, he would’ve kept it there. But, well, his kitchen wall would have to do for now.

China

Finally, some good fucking talent. He's very excited about his S/O being an artist! He's not much of one himself these days, but it's good to see the youth catching up to the old masters.

As much as he loves you, he's very opinionated. Everything you write he either LOVES or HATES. Though he's always excited to show off his favourites of your works, he's very proud of you.

Though he absolutely is not stand by while you spend all day sitting around and writing. Get off the couch and come with him, you're never gonna write anything real good if you don't have any life experience!

Because of that, he's gonna be a little hesitant to cater to you while you're writing.

Your last work was good, to be sure, but nothing like this. Your newest release blew him off his feet with ease, captivating him with every turn of the page. One of his favourites, he thought to himself, that'll be one he'd have to return to.

The only problem was that it was almost over already. He wasn't that much of a fast reader, was he? Well, I guess it's easy to go quickly if you love it.

And love it he did, to the very last page. Wait, this is the last page, isn't it? Why are there three more?

He flipped through them, his eyes quickly widening as he read the last page.

A love letter? To... him?

“Is this in every edition?” He asked you shakily, looking to you for reassurance.

“Yeah?”

“That's...”  He brought a hand to his mouth, covering his blushing cheeks  trying to hide the tears welling in his eyes, “That's such a waste of paper...”

Russia

Frankly, Ivan doesn't care much what you do. The most exciting part of you being a writer to him is just that you'd need to spend plenty of time at home.

But he'd always read your work. (Especially rough drafts, he's really good at being blunt but not mean.) And as time goes on, he'll fall in love with your talent more and more. Despite his country's many famous writers, he thinks none of them stack up to you.

He wouldn't mind how much time you dedicate to your craft, but he'd make sure to take good care of you while you're writing. He's truly very worried about you withering away in that desk chair of yours...

“Oh, I absolutely loved the part where-“

Ivan had been ranting for hours, going over every single detail that had caught his eye. Every time he thought of something new, it would lead to another excited train of thought. But there was one thing they all had in common... he really loved one character.

”He's strong!“ He'd gush, ”He's kind, and loving, and I just want him to have a happy ending!“

You let him explain over and over again how much he looked up to this character, wanting to change to be more like him in every way.

But it wasn't until he calmed down a little bit that you felt it was time to reveal the truth.

”Yeah, you know... he's based on someone I know.“

”Really? Who? I must meet him!“ He clasps his hands together in excitement.

”You, you big dummy.“

He pauses for a moment, his smile fading. He looks upset for a moment, trying to figure out how.

”But... but I am none of those things.“

”You are to me. I mean, whenever I thought about you... I'd just write that character.“

He laughs awkwardly, “You are joking, right?”

“No, of course not. You're strong... and you're kind....” he shifts away from you, tears welling in his eyes, “You're loving... and... and I'll give you a happy ending, ok?”

Before you can react, he wraps his arms tightly around your waist, burying his face in your hair.

”Promise?“

”Promise.“

Germany

Ludwig would definitely love a S/O who writes. Mostly for one specific reason, though. Writers, well, they see the world in a different way. Whether that be in a more romantic, more objective, or more sympathetic way, he doesn't care. He wants to talk things through with someone like you.

He wouldn't be a total fanboy, but he'd still love your work.  Although, he might not show it the way you want... it's hard for him not to criticize. He wouldn't be too harsh though!

He wouldn't mind how much you get sucked into your writing either. He knows what it's like to be dedicated to your craft, and he won't bother you too much.

Ludwig had never been an emotional person. Never, not once, throughout his many years was he truly moved to tears by fiction. Art depicting real life? Of course, many times. But he simply never found fiction as compelling as reality.

That was, of course, until he read your own works. Now, going through what you had so effortlessly created, he couldn't help tearing up at nearly every turn of events.

The way you were about to put him into the character's shoes without him even realizing, forcing him along the same journey they had gone through. It was... stunning, to say the least.

But when one of the characters began to fall in love, it was like nothing he had experienced before. Not because of any significant jump in quality, but just because... you had written it.

For a moment he sat in silence, pondering the book when he realized.

Was this what it felt like for you to fall in love with him?

It sent a chill down his spine. No, he didn't feel any differently, not at all. But... he had assumed you couldn't possibly love him as much as he loved you. Except... now?

Well, if this was how you had felt. He couldn't possibly let you go anytime soon.

[i-only-ever-asked-questions]

Bilton and Scaggs

Back when I was working in the map of Soho, I got to Bilton and Scaggs Hats and Caps. There is so much to say about this shop and its history, and it is so interesting that it warrants its own post, so here we are

Bilton and Scaggs Publishers was a London publishing firm in the 1600's, we don't really know when it was established though. They were not one of the eight great publishers of London, but they were doing well enough, after all, it was able to survive its three major publishing disasters (which occurred in rapid succession). Alas, it looks like Bilton and Scaggs, publishers went out of business somewhere in the 1890's and the milliner who set up shop there, kept the name. Nowadays, only Aziraphale knows the full story. What follows are details of their disasters. They are quite funny, unless you are Master Bilton or Master Scaggs of course :P

The first one was in 1651; when they accidentally printed the so called Buggre Alle This Bible. This very rare misprinted Bible had a few verses added to Genesis and a variation in Ezekiel. Of course our angel owns one copy. Genesis chapter 3 normally has 24 verses where the last one goes like this: "24. So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life." The three additional ones go like this:

25. And the Lord spake unto the Angel that guarded the eastern gate, saying Where is the flaming sword which was given unto thee? 26. And the Angel said, I had it here only a moment ago, I must have put it down some where, forget my own head next. 27. And the Lord did not ask him again.

"It appears that these verses were inserted during the proof stage. In those days it was common practice for printers to hang proof sheets to the wooden beams outside their shops, for the edification of the populace and some free proofreading, and since the whole print run was subsequently burned anyway, no one bothered to take up this matter with the nice Mr. A. Ziraphale, who ran the bookshop two doors along and was always so helpful with the translations, and whose handwriting was instantly recognizable." The other issue with this Bible was a little change in Ezekiel 48:5 and it is the change that gives the Bible its name:

2. And bye the border of Dan, fromme the east side to the west side, a portion for Afher. 3. And bye the border of Afher, fromme the east side even untoe the west side, a portion for Naphtali. 4. And bye the border of Naphtali, from the east side untoe the west side, a portion for Manaffeh. 5. Buggre Alle this for a Larke. I amme sick to mye Hart of typefettinge. Master Biltonn if no Gentelmann, and Master Scagges noe more than a tighte fisted Southwarke Knobbefticke. I telle you, onne a daye laike thif Ennywone with half an oz. of Sense shoulde bee oute in the Sunneshain, ane nott Stucke here alle the liuelong daie inn thif mowldey olde By-Our-Lady Workefhoppe. @ “Æ@;! 6. And bye the border of Ephraim, from the east fide even untoe the west fide, a portion for Reuben.

What we can conclude from here is that Aziraphale owned a bookshop in the 1650's that was in the same block as Bilton and Scaggs Publishers. From the deleted scenes in the script book we know he opened A. Z. Fell & Co. in 1800. But there is nothing saying he couldn't have owned a bookshop with a different name decades or centuries before. The bookshop tour special feature from the S1 DVD says he's had it for 350 years. Counting from 2020, that would put it at around 1670. But if we generalize to around 2000, that means the shop could have been there in the 1650's. This more or less matches this ask where it is explained that Aziraphale bought the land in 1630 and over the next 60 years (1690ish) he expanded and built the current bookshop.

Sorry for the tangent, back to Bilton and Scaggs.

The second publishing disaster occurred in 1653 when somehow they obtained one of the famed Shakespeare's "Lost Quartos" and subsequently lost it (the three Shakespeare plays never reissued in folio edition and now are totally lost to scholars and playgoers. Their names are "The Comedie of Robin Hoode, or, The Forest of Sherwoode", "The Trapping of the Mouse", and finally "Golde Diggers of 1589." In S2 Episode 6 we see all three folios inside the box Gabriel brought with him. I am sure if asked directly, Aziraphale will assure you that he has no idea how those pamphlets got into that box. It was completely empty only four days ago!

The third and final disaster happened in 1655 and involved a prophecy book that didn't sell a single copy and ended up being the first book remaindered in England: "The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, witch." Not even the sign "Locale Author" attached to the book helped sell it in the author's home town in Lancashire. At the end the publisher destroyed all the unsold copies. Aziraphale, however, seems to have found the 1655 catalog from Bilton and Scaggs that contained only the 1972 prophecy "Do not buy Betamax."

I do find interesting that although evidently Aziraphale had a close relationship with Master Bilton and Master Scaggs, he still failed to secure a copy of the prophecies. It was printed right there! Next to you! How did that happen? Where were you, Aziraphale??!!

[thebibliosphere]

Hey Joy! Do you still have those botched hard copies, and how are they botched? (I am... a bit of a collector of misprinted books and if they're still readable/mostly readable I can rarely resist bringing one home ;u; )

I do, but I’m holding onto them for now as my dispute with Ingram continues. If I get that resolved or I give up, I’ll let you know and I can free up some space in my office :p

[lucylyall]

I realised I haven't actually introduced my webcomic on here, so I figured as I'm running a sale on the book this week (including almost perfect misprints for £6!), now would be a good time to share some pages …

It's called Spare Keys for Strange Doors - it's a collection of short stories about two specialists in the supernatural who help ordinary people with their extraordinary problems in modern day Britain. It's a real mixed bag - some of the stories are light, some are dark, one has a murder, another follows the adventures of a cute cat … it was very much whatever I wanted to write at the time … but I almost always like an element of humour.

To be clear, I'm not currently updating - but all the stories I have created so far are complete are free to read online on my website.

This page is taken from After Death Hang-Ups. I remember writing this after having a conversation with someone about how they 'never did anything interesting'. I didn't really know what to say at the time, and it stuck in my head. What does 'doing something interesting' even mean? Is the problem that you personally are bored, or is the problem that you feel like your life looks boring from the outside?

Personally, I'm rarely bored, but in the past I've struggled with the idea that I'm a rather boring person - in fact, there were times when it almost paralysed me as a teen.

I'm glad to say it's worn off over the years, though. I dunno if I'm any more interesting now than I was then, but I definitely care a whole lot less.

[samueldays]

On a lighter note, I'm still playing White Wolf's Dark Ages Vampire RPG, and it keeps being very silly.

RPG books are fun in a special way because one very rarely reads them right through, one reads the setting chapter and then goes to character creation and looks up the relevant rules sections as necessary. If not playing a mage, skip the magic section. If not playing a Gangrel, skip the Protean section. And so on. So I keep discovering new and fascinating silliness from reading out of order as it becomes relevant, and expect to be posting about it for a while.

Sometimes it's just bad editing, like the equipment table featuring 5 concealment values of P/C/L/N/T for different items, but the equipment key explaining these only has 4 entries:

P = may be hidden in Pouch (pockets aren't invented yet) C = may be hidden in folds of Clothing L = may be hidden in Long cloak, coat or monk's robes N = may Not be hidden

Or the other bad editing which says that when combat starts, you roll Wits + Initiative to determine your Initiative. How recursive. We have determined that this was a misprint for Wits + Alertness.

-

Sometimes it's culturally specific silliness, like in the ecumenical approach they take to vampires repelled by any sign of devout True Faith, not just a crucifix:

Note, therefore, that heretics may have as much Faith as devout Christians. Jews, Moslems and pagans can also have Faith, whether honoring Jehovah, Allah or the Goddess.

I imagine this was written at the height of some hippie Wiccanism fad where "the Goddess" was considered the default deity of pagans by the writer's social circle in the 1990s.

The game is set in 12th century Europe, there's still a bunch of Slavs worshiping Perun and somewhat fewer Norse worshiping Odin, I feel like one of those might have been a better example.

-

Sometimes it's the perverse incentives of a combat system where weapons have an accuracy rating that's multiplicative with the character's combat skill.

Quarterstaffs are usually the best weapon IMO, daggers a close second (and more concealable), because those two have the lowest threshold to hit (DC 4 when you roll d10s) and this is a system with small HP values and death spiral penalties for taking damage.

Their base damage is low, but you add your Strength! None of D&D's two-handed bonus, weapon damage is simply Str+1 (Dagger) to Str+6 (Greatsword), and all vampires have innate ability to spend blood to raise their Strength.

Greatswords are also good at DC 5. Medium swords are worse than greatswords at DC 6 to hit but their damage is lower than a greatsword.

Axes are DC 7. Spears are also DC 7 but with less damage. Lances are DC 8 garbage. Lances do extra damage if used from horseback, but that doesn't matter if you're not hitting in the first place!

[yourcoffeeguru]

HARRY POTTER And The Half-Blood Prince 2005 RARE Misprint 1st Australian Edition || autradingpost - eBay

[artificelux]

Publishing Independently

There are so many upsides to being an independent author/publisher. One is that I get to do things that are a little more outside the norm, like the soundtrack and the design of the hardcover. Another is feeling more connected with the people purchasing a book, as I get to ship them out myself.

But there is one instance where having the resources of a big publisher would have certainly been nice.

You see, after endless scrutiny and poring over designs and trying to make sure I did everything perfectly… a typo slipped through onto the final version of the softcover. You could say it’s a small thing, that it’s hard to notice, but ever since someone mentioned it, I haven’t been able to unsee it. Pretty sure I’ve seen it in my dreams! Haha.

-- Side note: The person who pointed it out was very kind, and said it should in no way diminish what I’d achieved, creating this project on my own. And they still bought a copy, saying “I’ll have the misprint first edition,” like it was a rare trading card or something. Which certainly made me smile at the time, and I’m very appreciative to them for that. --

And yet, that hasn’t stopped me feeling intense shame over the softcover edition ever since. Like I’ve let myself down. Like I shouldn’t even be selling it, even though the interior is the exact same book as the hardcover. And yet, that’s the truth of producing a limited run on my own. I can’t just have it reprinted; not to mention, I don’t know if I could stomach the paper waste of having it reprinted and trashing the initial run.

So, I’m stuck with it. And I have to keep telling myself that’s fine, even though I’m a perfectionist and it’s hard. Because I am proud of what I’ve made. And somehow this mistake made it past multiple sets of eyes and multiple proofs, which is just… human. And if you read the first chapter… well, it actually kinda fits with my main character Tonic and the beginning of her story.

If there’s a second run at some point (fingers crossed), this small error will be corrected. But until then, if you want a misprint edition from the very first run of Color of a Mirror, the softcover edition is for you.

Dan

colorofamirror.net

[flatland-a-2024-translation]

To

The inhabitants of space in general

And H.C. In particular

This work is dedicated

By a humble native of Flatland

In the hope that

Even as he was initiated into the mysteries

Of three dimensions

Having been previously conversant

With only two

So the citizens of that celestial region

May aspire yet higher and higher

To the secrets of four five or even six dimensions

Thereby contributing

To the enlargement of the imagination

And the possible development

Of that most rare and excellent gift of modesty

Among the superior races

Of solid humanity

-

Preface to the Second and Revised Edition, 1884.

By the Original Editor (Also known as Edwin Abbott Abbott)

I am writing this preface for my friend from Flatland, since he has been so mentally devastated by his years spent in prison that he can’t write it himself. Rather than copying his words directly, I am paraphrasing on his behalf so you, my Readers, will understand what he means.

First of all, he wants to thank all of his Readers, both fans and critics, in Spaceland, who’ve enjoyed his book so much that he had to get it reprinted again to meet the demand.

Second of all, also wants to apologize for some errors and misprints in the original edition, though these aren’t actually his fault.

Third of all, he wants to explain a few things that have confused some Readers.

He wanted to respond himself, but he’s not the Square he used to be. The problem is not just that he is a prisoner, it’s that no one believes what he has to say, and do nothing but mock him, and he struggles to tell reality from dream. He’s also an old man now, and his memory is fading. He’s forgotten many of the ideas he learned on his adventure in Spaceland, and the words to describe them.

So he has asked me to reply on his behalf, to explain two points that many confused readers are upset or annoyed by.

The first thing people complain about is that when a Flatlander sees a Line, that means they have to be seeing something that does have Height, not just Width and Length, otherwise it would be invisible from the side. So why doesn’t he admit that his people already exist in Three Dimensions?

I understand that people are going to complain about this, since it’s such an obvious problem, especially to Spacelanders. I must say, I really wasn’t sure how to respond when I first read this comment, because I couldn’t think of any counter argument, but fortunately, my friend was able to answer it in a way that makes sense to me, so I’ll paraphrase his words here for you:

"I admit that what this critic said about us having some height is true, but that doesn’t mean we exist in Three Dimensions the way Spacelanders do. Yes, Flatlanders are Tall as well as Long and Wide, otherwise we would be invisible, but this isn’t something we can measure or recognize on our own – (Remember, I didn’t even know the word “up” before my adventure in Spaceland) -- and you Spacelanders also have a Fourth Dimension you don’t have a name for, that I’ll call ‘Extra-Height’, that you can’t measure or understand on your own either, but that doesn’t mean you’re Fourth Dimensional Beings anymore than I’m a Third Dimensional Being. Even after my adventure, I still can’t measure Height, or “Upwards”, not by seeing it, or even trying to imagine it. But I know it’s there, and I have to rely on pure faith.

Let me try to explain. You can only measure something if it has variation to be measured in the first place. If everyone, and every single thing you see – animals, people, trees, buildings, rocks, even -- is exactly the same Height, then you can’t measure Height, because there’s nothing to compare it to. It’s just the way the world is. Nothing is shorter than anything else, or taller. There’s nothing there to measure. Especially because everything you see is all that you can see. You can’t see above the Height of everything, or below it. It’s just what’s there.

Some Spacelander critics who like to complain too much have suggested we invent a so-called “delicate micrometer” to measure our Height with, but again, that’s impossible for us to do, because we can’t measure Upwards, nor can we compare it to anything else.

When we see a Line from the side, we see something that is Long and Bright, and that’s how we know it’s a Line -- Brightness and Length are both needed for us to understand what we are seeing. If there’s no Brightness, the Line becomes invisible to us, and may as well not exist.

This is why, when I try to explain the concept of Height, or ‘Upwards’ to my fellow Flatlanders, when I try to point out the existence of Height in a Line, the only thing they can see is the Brightness. And when I tell them I mean something else, a different Dimension, they demand I prove that it’s there by measuring it. Which I obviously can’t do, for the reasons I’ve already explained. You can’t measure what has no variation.

It was just yesterday that the Chief Circle – our High Priest, or maybe in your terms better understood as the President or King – came to visit me, the seventh of his yearly visits. And just like the last six times he came to visit me, he asked me the same question: ‘Are you sane yet?’.

And so I tried to explain to him that he was Tall as well as Wide and Long. And you can probably guess his response. ‘You say I am ‘High’, so measure my ‘High-ness’, and then I’ll believe you.’

And how, exactly, am I supposed to do the impossible? I’ve already explained that we can’t measure Height. There was nothing I could do to prove what I said, and we both knew it. So he left the room, just as triumphant as the earlier six visits.

Still confused? Then put yourself in my shoes – imagine a person from the Fourth Dimension decided to visit you, said:

‘Whenever you open your eyes, you see what appears to be a Two Dimensional image, and you understand that these are actually many different Three-Dimensional objects, through shading and light, and because you can reach out and touch them. And you think everything you are seeing is Three-Dimensional, but really, you’re also seeing a Fourth Dimension, and it’s not color, or shadows, or anything like that, but a true, separate Dimension. No, I can’t point it out to you. No, I can’t give you any way of measuring it or seeing it. You’re just gonna have to trust me.’

And how would you respond to someone saying this? Wouldn’t you want him thrown into an asylum too?

Well, that’s what happened to me. I was a Square who tried to convince my countrymen that there was a Third Dimension, and I was locked up, just as you Spacelanders would lock up anyone who tried to tell you there was a Fourth Dimension.

Alas, the family resemblance of ignorance and bigotry runs strong through humanity in all Dimensions! Points, Lines, Squares, Cubes, Extra-Cubes, it doesn’t matter – we are all just as likely to make the same mistakes, believing only what we can see, and refusing to think beyond that.

As your famous Spaceland playwrite, William Shakespeare once said, 'One touch of Nature makes all worlds akin'."

That was the Author’s answer in reply to the first complaint, and it makes sense to me.

As a further note on this point, the Author also wants me to also tell you that in this updated edition of his story, we have added back in some of the extra details of his conversations with the Sphere that we originally left out, because we assumed you, the audience, would find them boring and unnecessary.

So there is his defense against the first point of complaint. I can’t find anything to argue with about it, it seems like a solid defense.

As for the second point of complaint…I wish I could tell you that his response to the criticism was just as well thought out, but I can’t.

It has been objected that he is a woman-hater, and, because many of the people making this complaint are Women themselves, who feel hurt by this, I want to reassure you to the best of my ability that this is not the case, at least as far as I can tell you that without lying.

The unfortunate fact is that the Square who is the Author of this book is not used to thinking in terms of Morality, let alone the ideas of Morality that we in Spaceland have.

If I were to literally transcribe his response to this complaint, I’d be making him look much worse than he really is, because he doesn’t really understand how to articulate his thoughts on this topic, because Flatland (or at least, his country in Flatland) does not have the words to describe it.

((Note from the second editor: I want to emphasize that when the original Editor here says the Author didn’t have the words for Morality, he means that very literally, as you’ll see later, when the Author is narrating for himself. End of editor’s note.))

So, as I am already doing by paraphrasing the his words for you, I will paraphrase again his response to this allegation of misogyny.

It’s my understanding that in the seven years since he was imprisoned, he has changed many of the personal views he expressed in this book, both in regards to Women, as well as the Isosceles and other Lower Classes, such as Irregulars.

His opinion is now much closer to that of the Sphere who visited him, that Straight Lines are in many ways superior to Circles.

But, because he wrote this book from the perspective of a Historian, he aligned himself (maybe too closely) with the general views held by the Higher Classes of Flatland, and, as I’ve since told him, many among us here in Spaceland.

I don’t think I need to tell you that many of our own Historians, who are mostly Men, have generally thought that the lives of Women and other Oppressed People were not worthy of caring or writing about.

The Author also wishes to deny the idea that he is still a supporter of the Circles and Aristocracy. He has had a long time to think since his imprisonment, and while he doesn’t deny that the Circles are very intelligent – otherwise, he says, they wouldn’t have managed to stay in control for so long – he believes that the facts of Flatland speak for themselves.

Revolution cannot always be suppressed by slaughter, and because the Circles themselves tend to be infertile, he believes that Nature Herself has condemned their actions as a failure in the end.

“And this is where,” He said, “I see the laws of Nature working in all worlds. Man thinks he is doing one thing, and he thinks he knows best, but Nature is wise, and cannot be denied. Her end goal is much different, and better, than what Man plans for.”

For the other complaints, the Author begs the readers not to assume that every detail of daily life in Flatland is a mirror of some other detail in Spaceland.

He hopes that his book, taken as a whole, will be educational as well as amusing to Spacelanders who are willing to suspend their disbelief and not immediately cry, “That can’t happen”, or “No, things only work like this”.

The rest of this book, I leave to him, in his original words, now with the small edition of some clarification in his conversations with the Sphere.

((Note from the second editor: If you would like to read the Author’s original words, as transcribed by the original Editor, please look for Flatland: A Romance of Many Dimensions, online. It is Public Domain and belongs to everyone, so you can read it, or listen to it as an audiobook, completely for free.)

[eternalwritess]

I think… It's time for romantic matchup? XD Hazbin Hotel, please. Sorry for the grammatical errors or/and misprints, if there are any, English is not my native language. May I ask to exclude Valentino, Adam, Lute and Niffty from the list?

Gender/pronouns: she/her, he/him, they/them (I am genderfluid. Thus, my preferred pronouns change)

Sexuality/preference: demisexual. I can be attracted to any gender, but maybe I prefer boys more

MBTI: INTP

Temperament: choleric-melancholic

DnD alignment: Chaotic-Neutral with Chaotic-Good tendency

Personality:

I often become the voice of reason in situations where everyone around is too emotional and acting impulsively. I also take a calm and thoughtful approach to problems and try to think about and analyze them neutrally and without unnecessary emotions. This quality helps me help someone find a solution to their problems, or at least support them emotionally. I have a high thirst for justice and I have a moderate empathy for others, and I can take action to help someone. I am careful not to open up to people right away, but study them well before doing so (although this has a negative side in the form of my extreme distrust, but I will write about this later). Despite my laziness, I can be full of inspiration and enthusiasm for things that interest me and very quickly learn something related to the subject of my interest, or direct my enthusiasm in a positive direction. I have a courage and independence, which I "charge" others with. I also have a sense of humor that my friends like (although some find it too vulgar). I am caring and attentive to those who are dear to me, and I try to act for their comfort. Loyalty to those I care about is also my strong point. I consider myself an optimist, but I also take into account the real facts.

People quite often really annoying me with their emotionality and a lot of different misconceptions that are in their minds (I deal with this very often, unfortunately). Against this background, I often look down on those around me, although I do not show it. This sounds a bit hypocritical against the background of the fact that irritability and short temper are also my traits that I (sometimes) find difficult to control. I have very big problems with trust, it's not easy for me to open up to others. I rarely show my real emotions, even to those with whom I am close, and try to appear calm. Another problem is my laziness and procrastination. I'm very sarcastic with people I don't like, or when I'm just in a very bad mood. I also have moments of low self-confidence. And finally, sometimes I get jealous. I have a fear of doing some things wrong combined with perfectionism, which may make me afraid to do something (for example, write a text) not well enough.

My life and mind are very chaotic - I have a habit of changing plans quickly, and for this reason I try not to make plans even for the next day.

My love languages: words of affirmation and physical touch. I can tell my mate a lot and often how much I love them, reminding them of this more often, I try to come up with pleasant affectionate nicknames, and I realy like praise them! I can compliment their positive traits to cheer them up and boost their self-esteem. Usually my affectionate nicknames are words that I associate with this person in a good way. I also often hug my mate and stroke them. I really like hugging. I have no problem with showing affection in public, and I even like to do it.

Hobbies: I am good at writing texts and composing stories, I like to come up with the plots of my stories and make their text pleasant to read. I also like to draw, but it's harder for me than writing. In drawing, I prefer to use a technique, that is, a drawing tablet with a screen, rather than paper and pencils. I also like to spend time playing video games and reading books or watching some movies and anime (my favorite genres are related to fantasy and science fiction... And when it comes to video games, I prefer RPG). I also like to study things related to my interests - astronomy, psychology, birds, reptiles.

Pet peeves: Well, I think the full list of such things would be too long… So here are some that I managed to remember. All of them are somehow related to the invasion of my personal space (for example, when someone stares at the screen of my phone or laptop and comments on what is there) without my permission. I also don't like being distracted from something I'm very focused on (for example, when I'm writing a text, and it's at this moment that someone suddenly wants to chat with me for no important reason). I am also annoyed by people who believe that they know everything and cannot make mistakes, and will never admit their mistakes.

Other facts: I have a fickle and confused sleep schedule (sometimes I sleep more than 16 hours, sometimes less than 4 hours, because I have short insomnia). Perhaps I have autism (at least self-diagnosis and self-observation have shown this). I don't understand social cues and hints well, and it's better for other people to tell me about their feelings directly (however, I can learn to understand how a person feels if I study their character well).

𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕓𝕖𝕖𝕟 𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕔𝕙𝕖𝕕 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙…

𝓥𝓸𝔁!

How you met? Yeah idk just go with it :)

Your voice of reason is much needed. I know how sometimes it seems like Vox is the voice of reason in the V's but uh... yeah no when Alastor gets involved he'll get straight up petty

Keep him in check will ya?

You being calm and analytical probably attracted him. He probably found it hot or smth-

"So how are you gonna deal with this one sweetie?"

Once he realized your thirst for justice he immediately kept you away from Val and Velvette knowing that you wouldn't like them all too much

Vulgar humor? Yeah he wouldn't mind. He'd join in

Once Vox realized you were studying him he probably found it fun, like a game and it reminded him of Alastor

"You've got your eye on me don't you?"

Contrary to popular belief I don't think that Vox is too emotional. He has a tech boy vibe about him and doesn't tend to be overly emotional. He has his more pitiful moments sure but honestly he's not as bad as some other characters

As for looking down on people... he needs an ego check. Go crazy

this is all im gonna do sorry-

[morealias]

Is there some way to request a misprinted one if we purchase one of your physical books? (I'm a "digital book" guy now, but I do make exceptions for rare or unfindable versions of books.)

I tell myself that someday these will be valuable collector's items, instead of just an annoying printing error.

Remember that "black hole between the pages" glitch? I found more copies at the bottom of the box with it. Time to print out more little ~collector's item~ leaflets with the missing text. Sigh.

[sanriomom]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Darkwing Duck comic misprint tee XL.

[fordtato]

So. I have multiple versions of Journal 3.

I have what I call the Original First Edition Journal 3 - the one with the old typos, the shitty binding, the darker, dingier pages with extra splotches of "dirt," as well as that one line with Ford and Fiddleford gazing at the stars (the beans page), the one that can be interpreted as fiddauthor-y if you squint that was later removed by Disney which makes it seem even gayer in retrospect

The Current Journal 3 - the version with the fixed typos, the slightly lighter pages, with the red text a little easier to read. Ford also explicitly calls Fiddleford his "friend" on the beans page as opposed to the aforementioned subtext.

The Blacklight Edition - you know the one. Cost $150 at launch iirc, contains removeable photos and blacklight ink, signed by Alex Hirsch. The copy I have is also a slight misprint - two of the pages are outright missing blacklight ink.

Of all these, I think the first one is the one I treasure the most.

For one thing, I'd argue it's pretty rare. You literally can't find it anywhere. I mean, they won't print it ever again, it's super fragile and the binding fell apart the week I got it, so I bet most journal 3-owners have replaced this edition with a copy w/ better binding.

It also is chock-full of typos written by Stanford "Grammar Stanley" Pines, which is the funniest thing ever.

And lastly, the censorship of that one line has, intentionally or not, made this book gayer than the other editions. Wild shit, right there.

[inkovert]

You brought up a lot of interesting points that I want to address and expand on because I think some of them are separate issues and/or related to other larger systemic problems.

I want to make it clear that I am in no way an expert on what goes on within the publishing industry or on a writer's experience with publishing as I've never attempted to publish my works. It would be great to have someone who has more experience in this domain chime in on the issue, but for now I'm going to speak on what I have gleaned from debates within other communities or observations I've personally made first-hand.

First, I think a distinction between traditional publishing and self-publishing should be made first. I'm mostly going to be talking about this from a traditional publishing standpoint, in that an author works with a major publishing house to release their book and the author has to do the work to market themselves and create an audience to boost book sales.

Honestly I don’t like the way books are marketed now. I saw someone on tiktok compare it to fast fashion and…yeah.

I have heard about this comparison and the article it's attached to (which honestly is a poorly written article starting with the misleading title, but I digress). I do think the comparison is a slight misnomer. Fast fashion produces a product that is cheap, quick to make and low-quality. From my understanding, the original "fast fashion" comparison began when an author worked with a publishing imprint to create special editions of their widely hyped book(s) that was advertised as being a limited-release, therefore driving up the demand so the product would quickly sell out (this happened with both book 1 and 2 of the author's published series). Technically in this case it was a quick and low quality job (creating special editions, however, is not a quick process, but because they tried to force them out quickly it resulted in several terribly low quality misprints), but the process of making special editions is not cheap by any means, nor was the cost of the books made cheap for consumers. But what suffered in quality the most, to no one's surprise, was the editing and writing of the book itself.

Taking this loose analogy of "fast fashion" to the marketing of books as a whole and...yeah, I kind of do see it. Not just with the rising "romantasy" genre, but with "spicy" romance books in general. I can list off the names of a few authors who publish several novels/novellas a year simply because their works have been widely hyped online, increasing the demand for their next release. Because they have to pop out these books so quickly you can imagine how well-written and well-crafted they must be. Similar to the last spilled ink session, I don't think the blame for this particularly lies with any one person/entity. However, I'm inclined to pin a large part of it on the publishing industry because I'm sure they see the hype that these author's works get online and probably push them to be more prolific, giving them outrageous/unreasonable deadlines to meet. But the ones that often (wrongly, I would say) take the blame for this are the authors and the consumers/readers because they are the obvious, visible targets; the publishers are the invisible entity behind the curtains that no one ever thinks about and thus rarely takes the brunt of the blame. But in this age of accelerating deadlines and releases for books, it's not hard to see why a good chunk of the books that blow up online are not of good writing quality.

I don’t like how predictable books have gotten because their plots revolve around tropes instead of tropes being worked into the plots.

I think this is an excellent way of putting it. There is nothing inherently wrong with tropes, and I would also argue, there is nothing inherently wrong with using tropes to market a book to audiences. I think the problem lies in a few things (1) when, as you pointed out, writers start to cater their story to tropes to satisfy this new marketing trend rather than using it as a tool to tell their story and (2) when tropes become a way to market stories offline. I'm going to speak on the latter point first. I think the tropificiation of marketing books originally started online and was rapidly popularized by booktok. Makes sense. Booktok started as a way to deliver a message to an audience in fast, bite-sized videos. You don't have room to read a 200 word blurb about what a book is about if you're trying to make a 30 second video. So what do you rely on? Buzzwords that will pique people's interest. Tropes. Vibes. Themes. Whatever you can do to grab a person's attention. But what has happened is that publishers have seen how effective that way of marketing is within booktok, and completely ignored and divorced it of its necessary context to push books forward simply based on tropes/vibes alone. So that now results in book blurbs (at least on Goodreads) starting with or consisting of nothing but "How to Get Away with Murder meets Little Fires Everywhere" or "enemies-to-lovers fantasy romance novel" etc etc. And it's like. Great. But what is the story actually about? What is the plot? You have the room to expand on this stuff and tell me more so why aren't you...telling me more? I would even argue this is an issue with long-form media in general. I can understand if you only have 30 seconds to tell me something and you want to rely on tropes to get the idea across, but I once listened to an author's YouTube video (which was 11 mins long) where she described her up-and-coming book and I shit you not all she did was list adjectives and nouns to get people excited about it (it has a lighthouse, brothers who are pilots, moody vibes, stormy day, the protagonist is named after my favorite animal). I walked away with no sense of what the book was actually about or how to even verbally convey what it was about to other people. It could be a great, super well-written book but what would actually compel me to pick it up when you've told me...virtually nothing of what it's about?

And therein lies my major problem with the way books are marketed/advertised these days. The need for a blurb or a description of a plot has suddenly become obsolete and I find that kind of sad. The ever declining attention economy is definitely a large contributor of that (hey even I can FEEL my attention span getting shorter and shorter as the years pass, too) as well as the difficulty of competing with multiple authors (both debut and established) for consumers' already limited attention. That's why I'm not blaming anyone for this happening because there's no one to blame. It is a multifaceted, nuanced issue that I think is largely out of most people's control, especially as a debut author struggling to compete with the constantly shifting publishing/consumerist landscape. My point really is that it's just unfortunate that things have gone in this direction and that I personally get tired of seeing books marketed this way. For me personally, tropes/vibes don't really get my attention and it turns me off of a book when the author hasn't explicitly told me what it's about. If anything, because the average attention span is decreasing and reading a 300+ page book is a time and attention investment, I want to be confident that the book I pick up is going to be worth my time and I can't do that just based on a handful of random words.

This shift in marketing puts too much on the author to succeed. I think it’s caused stories to become less original in hopes of profitting off of what’s popular, and it’s caused worthless competition between authors.

I do agree that it's unfortunate that authors have to do most of the leg work when it comes to advertising their books, which, again, is why I don't blame writers for relying on short, attention-grabbing phrases to gain readers because they are battling against heaps and heaps of competition. I honestly can't even think back to how books became popular or noticed before social media (word of mouth ofc but hard to wrap my head around something so inefficient causing books like HP and LoTr to become global phenomenons) because this current landscape has suddenly become all I know. But you bring up a point that became pretty central to our last spilled ink session (and that was the first point of the last section that I forgot to circle back to whoops) - stories suffer as a result of this consumerist system the publishing industry has decided to tailor itself to. Authors need to make money at the end of the day, and if creating low quality, "trope-heavy" stories is what helps them get their name out there and establish a track record then they will inevitably cater to that, to the detriment of writing.

SPILLED INK SATURDAY 》 Writeblr Discourse Series

Session 2: Book Marketing

Spilled Ink is a writeblr discourse series. Each session is centered around a writer/reader/author-related topic and/or debate and those participating are invited to share their thoughts and opinions on these matters from a writer’s perspective. Take a look at our first session here.

To participate in the discussion, you can do so one of two ways:

➸ Return to the OG post (which will always be linked in the title of the post) and reblog with your take on the topic, either in text or in the tags

➸ If you see someone’s take on your feed and you want to chime in on something they said, feel free to reblog their response

If you choose to participate please be respectful when providing your opinion or when responding to someone else’s. 

How do you feel about the recent shift in the way books are marketed?

Everything from quotes on the back of book sleeves (why did we make this a thing???) to listing tropes/vibes for books on social media posts, it's evident that the way books are marketed has shifted over the last several years. As a writer/author, are these marketing strategies necessary and more effective to gain readers? As a reader, do they turn you on or off of a novel? Can they be misleading? Reblog and share your thoughts.