#random story time

[suratan-zir]

I spent the last day of summer just as I spent most of it - swimming in the lovely green waters of the Dnipro river. I thought I wouldn’t be able to, I’ve been very sick for the last month. First, it was covid, then I got re-infected again when my husband got sick, and it messed with my condition pretty badly. It’s still hard to breathe, and my chest bone kind of hurts, dunno what's up with that. I can’t walk long distances, which is a bummer because that’s mostly how I deal with suicidal moods and general feel of hopelessness. But I can walk a little bit! Fortunately, it was enough to get to the “secret” beach.

We’ve lived here for nearly three years now and know this place well. Even on the weekends, in good weather, when campers or fishers are everywhere, we still know a few secluded spots with no people around.

Even though I’m weak, it was worth the struggle of walking. You know when you were a kid, and your mother would tell you, “Time to get out of the water, your lips are turning blue!”? But then later, when you grew up, you learned to appreciate just chilling by the water without being in it all the time? I never did. I never grew out of it. I learned to swim kind of late, at 13, but I love swimming like nothing else. I can swim for hours and still not get bored or tired. It’s like all my problems don’t exist when I’m in the water. I only wish it was my love, the Sea of Azov, but russia stole it.

Anyway, when we were heading back home, it was bee-utiful. We had to walk through the abandoned children’s summer camp (the one where we rescued the turtle last fall - if you remember, you remember), and I accidentally found a wild bee nest in between the bricks. I heard buzzing.

This put me in a bee-searching rush. I remembered that a few months back, we saw crumbled honeycombs on these abandoned campgrounds, so I figured there must be more bees.

In this camp, there are a bunch of small wooden houses, kind of like trailers - some of them already completely ruined, but many still somewhat intact. Somehow, I pointed at the exact house that I was looking for. I said, "It’s a perfect place for bees: weatherproofed, with a lot of entrance points…" Then we saw a bee flying in. So we followed her and saw this - a whole freaking makeshift beehive. Full of bees. And on the other side, there was a boat.

So someone saw an abandoned structure, which still very much has an owner. This territory was bought by someone, and they already started construction there, demolishing some buildings. They also wrote in large letters that they will kick the ass of trespassers and throw them in jail for looting. No one cares. Then, with the beginning of the invasion, construction stopped. But yeah, the audacity of just starting their own little beekeeping thing and storing their stuff there, it’s kind of hilarious.

Overall, it was a great birthday (it wasn’t technically my birthday, but it kind of still counts). My birthdays usually suck, so that’s rare.

Thanks for listening to me rambling about nothing <3

[crisismoth]

so in ceramics class at my table we had me the bug guy, a dinosaur guy, a normal guy, and the track and field champion guy. and one day the dinosaur guys phone alarm went off and he picked it up. "random chimp event" is what the alarm said. he hadnt set the alarm. we all lost it and it became a reocurring joke. a few weeks later it happened again and dino guy was like ok i need to check my carbon monoxide detector i am not setting this. it happened again and again and we thought it was hilarious but my poor guy was very perplexed. eventually he accepted it. anyways at the end of the year the track guy revealed he had watched mr. dino open his phone and memorized the passcode and then when mr. dino left the room he opened his phone and set the alarm. and kept doing this. so when i hear random chimp event all i can think about is mr dino, head in hands, crying out "What is random chimp event???? why is this happening to me???"

[catnaplovesnaptime]

Random fic time yippee :3 (angst)

Even though ghosts didn't really need sleep, catnap slept. The only kind of dream he would have was horrible..

"W-Where am I...?" The ghost cat wandered through the dark room he found himself in. He froze in his tracks when he heard the sound of a woman crying. It almost sounded like..His mother.

"M-Mama..?" He walked closer to the sound, only for it to become further away. Catnap then started to panic. "Wait...Mama! Mama come back! Please don't cry! I'm here!"

He started to chase after the sound now, only for it to fade away until it was nothing but silence.

"...Mama?? MAMA!?" Tears rolled down the cat's burnt face as he fell to his knees, sobbing. "I'm sorry, mama...Please don't go.."

When he awoke, he sat up, tear marks on his face.

"......"

[neonpaperlanterns]

Okay I don't know why I was thinking about this but here is random story

Alright so I used to work at Starbucks and this old dude comes in. I don't pay him much mind, I'm makin drinks. Anyways he orders a double smoked bacon. We ran out and don't have anymore prepared.

He is displeased.

My coworker helping him offers an alternative, The bacon, gouda, and egg sandwich. The bread is different and so is the cheese but it's got bacon and egg. It's not a one for one but it's the closest we have. The guy says sure. So the sandwich is made. The story should be over and yet here I am.

Turns out the egg is wrong. How could the egg possibly be wrong? It's an egg. You can't go wrong with an egg. But apparently you're wrong.

You see the smoked bacon egg is round and has the egg white showing and the gouda has a square egg that is alllllllll yellow. So clearly my coworker LIED to this man. He bamboozled this poor senior citizen because the eggs are not the same! They just aren't the same!

This old man just went off. Ranting and raving about all the lies he was being fed. Our manager did come out to see what was wrong. She tried to explain that it's just an egg that had it's yoke broken up. It was still an egg.

He was not satisfied. Nothing was good enough.

He did leave eventually, took the sandwich with him. And for the rest of the day we would look at each other and go egg is egg.

Egg is egg my friends.

Egg is egg.

[def-not-kaz-brekker]

Does anyone wanna hear the story behind my meter tall John cena doll?

[larcenywrites]

I hope you feel better soon!! And please do let us know if the whole "lord heal both her sinus cavities" thing worked because if it did I'm gonna have to try that on myself someday 😭

Me low key making fun of getting prayed over in the middle of a Walmart while I was working and then casually remembering that my family heirloom is literally a giant 200 year old bible in the room next to me and kinda feeling the need to repent 😔 maybe the repenting will help 😔

But just the way he said that, like 🥴 all he had to do was say lord heal her 😭 funnily enough, I’ve been prayed over, out loud, with other customers in line, while I was working, three separate times by different people 😭

[kashlyn]

Today I came home, only to fall to the floor as I felt safe and calm.

I was trying to say "My legs hurt, and I can't move my arms" due to my exhaustion so my parents wouldn't worry as much... But then my siblings started laughing at me so I had to force my head to look up.

Turns out, I said "My leg arms stay"

[suratan-zir]

I have to share this.

I got sick (don't know how or why) and had the fever dream of my life last night. Let’s skip how it got to this point (it's weirdly NSFW), but it was a video documenting the process of how nuts are "chopped" for candy bars. There was this adorable chonky beaver with two piles in front of him: one pile of nuts, from which he would grab a few with his mouth, chew them thoroughly, then spit them out into a second pile of "chopped" nuts. Yep, that’s how nuts are prepared for chocolate candies.

Then it cuts to the same beaver growing up, but in reverse, with sentimental music playing in the background. The video shows us how he was trained to chew nuts during his upbringing, he gets smaller and smaller until the final shot is him almost newborn, before he learned this complicated craft.

There you have it. Now it’s your fever dream too.

[afleetingmuse]

I have a rather doughy figure. I'm more than happy with how I look. I'm soft and curvy and I have juuuust enough muscle to do any of the heavy lifting at my job effectively.

Today I spent babysitting my niece and nephew. I'm pretty sure it was mostly the holding/playing with a squirmy baby for 4 hours that's left me with pain I've never experienced.

I was at work when just above my arm pit and spreading down just underneath my breasts started to hurt. I've never really worked out this muscle before, didn't even really know it was there if I'm being honest with myself. So I was in the back poking at the pain confused of what muscle it could be when I realized it was probably the pectoral muscle.

Welcome to the team pectoral :) I'm probably never going to work you out to your full potential but if you make rocking my nephew to sleep easier then thank you.

[neonpaperlanterns]

Me to my partner: You are the beat of my heart, the breath in my lungs!

Him: You are the chicken to my wing.

Me:

Poetry

[approximately-32-leafcutter-ants]

random story time,

the one and only time in highschool i heard my principal get angry was when me and some friends found a snake in the hallway after hours, it was an angry hissy snake so we didnt touch it but a friend knew that thw principal loved snakes and had a few pet snakes from his social media and i saw him in a neighboring hallway and went to get him (he was a chill enough principal), but when we returned the snake was gone and my friends were arguing with these other kids who had apparently picked up the snake tried to throw it in the lake and missed so then stomped on the snake. and when that came out the principal went ballistic and was hollering at these kids so loud about four teachers from nearby came running to see what happened to make the normally quiet and calm principal act like this. the principal had to distinctly say "i have to walk away to calm down." and had to get other teschers to escort the students to the office. and then afterwards he ran to the snake to see if it was savable

sadly the snake did not survive and im surprised those students did because i saw one of them a few weeks later in the hallway, but that day actually made me respect the principal more because of how much he seemed to genuinely care for the snake and lost his cool

[wakanai]

complaining. (random not rlly that extreme but yeah).

reminiscing about a certain account who blocked me and idk the reason why. I followed them for a while and found out later on that they blocked me. The reason? idk. its not personal. Ik it's not personal because I didn't do anything offensive to them, at least from what I know. Maybe they thought I was a bot? I reblogged and liked a lot of their posts tho..I followed them for a while. maybe I posted something personal that offended or irked them? (likely answer tbh) or maybe their hand slipped and they did it by accident? (LOL).

Soo anyways, when I found out I was blocked, I was just like "okay acceptance is key" and moved on from it (cause girl, it can't be helped). I was wondering why but eventually I was just like ermm okay. ✨

ANYWAYS.

So today I was scrolling along a blog (stalking basically) and this blog that I'm scrolling through reblogged a post from THAT person's account. And then I mindlessly try to like that post (but ofc im blocked so it won't allow me to like it).

**Short story over.***

Lol so basically I got reminded of that account and now I'm feeling sad cause I remember their blog 😭☠️

[tehamelie]

I mean, the time when me and my cousins were hauling lumber and grandpa swiped my good hand with the blade of a moving chainsaw was definitely one of the times in my life when I felt the most alive.

I immediately felt the hit. A second later I understood what it was and my bowels sank down into my pants. Grandpa stopped the saw and everyone gathered around me and I was fucking terrified. I didn't want to look at my hand or touch it. But even in that state, at fifteen or sixteen years of age, I knew that wasting any amount of time would make it harder and reduce the chances that the doctors could restore my hand to full functionality.

So I took a good look at the big tough gardening glove covering my hand, and saw it had a nice big bloody hole in it. Pulled it off with my left hand, completely expecting the warm soft weight of severed fingers to stay in it. There was just a little flesh wound close to the second joint of the ring finger, but, you know, that was fucking lucky.

Not enough signs about how much I'd like to stick my hands between the moving parts of a machine, so I did it myself

[foldingfittedsheets]

I feel the need to share since my lube post is going around that my life is just like that since I worked at the sex shop. Sex Ed is a very standard topic. People just immediately pick up a vibe from me and even in situations where someone doesn’t know I used to sling dildos for a living they’ll just start confiding sex stuff to me.

Not in a creeper way. But like this weight had been lifted and they can finally talk freely about sexual topics. The energy I put off is just so blasé and accepting that people tell me about their sex lives, usually very quickly after meeting me. They usually then have a moment of panic or regret and apologize but I always reassure them that I used to work in a shop and that I see nothing odd about talking about it.

My go-to line is, “I’m a creature devoid of judgement.” They always laugh. Then the questions get more specific or people start asking for brand recommendations. It’s always been funny to me.

My beloved has always been a little confused by it. “People don’t just start talking to me about sex! I know you don’t bring it up. It just always seems to go there when people talk to you.”

“It’s just my energy.”

The first time I was meeting their mom she was coming to stay with us. We picked her up from the airport and brought her home. My beloved went upstairs to use the bathroom. When they came back down their mom was asking me questions about vibrators and their jaw hit the floor.

In our room later they said, “She doesn’t even talk to me about that stuff! She’s so embarrassed about sex topics, I cannot believe she was asking you about that!”

“What can I say,” I shrugged, “I’m a creature devoid of judgement.”

[write-it-motherfuckers]

Person A: "How can you not know that you're dating a fucking deity?!"

Person B: "...I mean, to be fair, before the accident they never really acted like a deity around me. Our life together had been mostly domestic and sappy up until that point."

Person A: "And now?"

Person B: "...Honestly, it's still pretty domestic and sappy, they just don't bother hiding their inhuman nature around me anymore."

[shirozora-draws]

mustard on the beat, ho- MUSTAAAAAAAAAAAAARD Someone make it stop, make it fucking stop. I spent all week hyping myself up to gather up all my work sketches like a scrapbook and clean it all up to post here, and then Kendrick had to surprise drop on a Friday morning and ruin my work day and my headspace all weekend long.

Anyway, here's a dangerous dreams sketch dump.

It's been a long quiet, but RL had taken such a fucking toll that I had a real hard time finding the fucks to get creative. Who knows how much this past US presidential election will fuck up the entire rest of my life, but I'll take solace in finding community and in the little things and in Andor Season 2 and in the telling of The Stars.

Now that I got this out of the way, guess it's time to go fucking write some fucking words.