#randall the hyrule solder

[boysofhyrule]

Randall The Hyrule soldier AU: New Captain

Impa: RANDALL FRONT AND CENTER!

Randall: YES SIR! 🫡

Randall runs to meet General Impa and a Hyrule Captain

Randall: you call sir

Impa: Yes, I would like to introduce you to your new captain.

???: Morning Lad, I have heard you are my go to guy for handling the fish lady

Randall cringing: yes that would be me captain-

Captain: -Captain Knyte!

The new caption shakes Randall’s hand and Randall thinks for a moment

Randall: nice to meet you Captain knight

Captain Knyte: It’s Knyte

Randall: night?

Captain Knyte: No, it’s pronounced Cnight lad

Randall:Captain Nite?

Captain Knyte: No it’s Knyte

Impa: I believe I understand the confusion, you prefer to go by your rank of Knight?

Captain Knyte: No that’s my first name Cnitee

Randall: wait so your first name is knight

Captain knyte: no it’s Cnitee with a silent second E

Randall: so it’s Cnitee

Captain Knyte: yes

Impa: your rank is a hyrule Knight?

Captain Knyte: Correct General

Randall: and your surname is Knyte?

Captain Knyte: That is right lad

Randall: so your full title is Hyrule Knight Cnitee Knyte?

Captain Knyte: There you go lad, you got it now!

Randall looks at Impa

Randall: Knight Cnitee Knyte

The General looks back at Randall

Impa: Captain Knight Cnitee Knyte

[boysofhyrule]

[boysofhyrule]

Randall the Hyrule soldier AU: Glair

Midna:…

Ruto:…

Both are glaring at each other

Lana: what are they doing?

Hyrule captain:well Ruto is mad at Midna because of how she defended a keep

Lana: what did she do run out of enemy’s to throw so she threw are troops?

Hyrule captain:…

Lana: Wait-no…she wouldn’t…I mean if someone especially annoyed her

Randall rolls in on a wheel chair

[boysofhyrule]

Randall the Hyrule soldier AU Pt 10: Bomb Flower

Ruto: Hey Randall?

Randall: Yes?

Ruto: What do bomb flowers taste like?

Randall: Huh?

Ruto: Well you know how Hylians eat flowers?

Randall: Those are called fruits and vegetables.

Ruto: yeah so what do bomb flowers taste like?

Randall: We don’t eat those, They blow up

Ruto: Yeah but like what do they taste like? They kinda look like a blueberry! A big Juicy firm blueberry.

Randall: Ruto do not eat the Blue berr- I mean Bomb flower

Ruto: but-

Randall: no buts Do not eat-

Hyrule Archer: Randall! The Captain needs you!

Randall: Alright! Ruto I’ll be right back, do not eat the-

Ruto: I won’t I won’t who do you take me for?

Randall:…

Ruto:…

Randall: I’ll be right back

He leaves to go see what the captain wanted

Ruto: hmmm one small bite won’t hurt would it?

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Randall: Sir! you called for me?

Captain: Yes I need you to ru-

A large explosion is heard by the storage tent

Randall: Honestly she resisted longer then I thought she would

[boysofhyrule]

The lads are back in warriors time

Twilight: MIDNA YOU GET DOWN HERE THIS INSTANT SO WE CAN TSLK ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP!

midna in her true form floating out of reach

Midna: No, look I love you and admit what I did was rash but every time we try to talk it out we get noise complaints!

Randall opening a window

Randall: WILL YOU TWO SHUT THE HYILA UP ITS 3 IN THE MORNING! SOME OF US HAVE TO ACTUALLY CARRY OUR PRINCESSES AROUND!

[boysofhyrule]

Randall the Hyrule soldier AU pt4: meeting the Ex

Randall minding his own business not noticing the hero of time approaching

Time: “so your Ruto new fiancé?”

Randall: “HOLY HYAAA! Don’t sneak up on people like that…wait what did you say”

Time: “Ruto, she can be-

Randall: “look I know what you’re about to say. she can be really annoying, and impulsive, sometimes very rude, often…

This one went on for a little bit

Randall:…and yes, when she snores it loud BUT it’s also adorable! But none the less, you even think about badmouthing her you’ll have to deal with me!

He then storms off meetings up with the Hyrule archer

Randall: “who even is that guy, Hmpf”

Hyrule archer: “he’s the hero of time”

Randall: “oh…

Randall: …OH FUC-”

○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●Bonus○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

Time: “Lana who is that?”

Lana: oh that’s Randall, he’s kinda, well he’s Randall

Time: “I wonder why Ruto picked him”

Lana: “well for whatever reason it works. after all, he ran into Ganon by himself to save her”

Time: “yeah…wait what??”

[boysofhyrule]

Randall the Hyrule soldier AU pt7: Keep the Keep

Hyrule Captain: Good job Randall in capturing this keep

Randall: thanks it was a pretty rough batt-

Hyrule captain: The North west keep needs capturing

Randall: yes sir

*after capturing the North West keep*

Hyrule captain: ok good now the Fairy fountain keep needs to be capture

Randall: WHAT? I just captured that one!

[boysofhyrule]

Randall The Hyrule soldier AU: WHAT?

Ruto: Randall!

Randall: what?

Ruto: Randall!!!

Randall: what??

Ruto:Randall!!!!!

Randall: WHAT???

Ruto:…

Randall:…

*cricket sounds*

Ruto:RANDALL!!!

Randall: WHAT????????

Ruto: would you love me if I was a worm?

Randall:…

Ruto:…

Randall: no

[boysofhyrule]

Randall the Hyrule soldier AU pt6: He did what?

Lana approaches Randall and Ruto as he does inventory check

Lana: Randall have you seen link?

Randall: yeah he’s on a date

Lana: haha good one but really where is he?

Randall: *sigh* he’s on a date, this is going to turn into needles drama

Lana: who would he be on a date wi-

Ruto: CIA!

Lana: MY SISTER?????

Ruto blissfully unaware of why Lana is freaking out: Yeah her!

Lana: HUH? WHA? WHY? WHAT IS HE DOING ON A DATE WITH HER? She must have forced him too!

Ruto: Nope! he asked her!

Lana: HUH???

Randall hitting his head repeatedly on a box of bomb flowers: One day, all I want is one day without the hero’s causing drama

Lana: Randall shut up, where are they?

Ruto: OH! Follow me!

Randall: Finally some peace and quiet— randall is grabbed by the tunic and dragged along NOOOOOOO!!!!!

[boysofhyrule]

Randall the Hyrule soldier AU Pt 9: Intervention

Lana: Everyone ready?

Zelda: Yes! Let’s confront Link about Dating Cia!

Randall: Why am I here?

Lana: Because…because…ummm

Randall: You have no idea do you?

Ruto: It’s because I’m here!

Randall: Sweetfish, do you even know why we are here?

Ruto: Nope!

Randall: Then I’m going to head out

Zelda: As your queen and leader I order you to stay

Randall: With all do respect I don’t think military operations include interventions with the hero and his dating life

Zelda: The fate of hyrule rest in our hands!

Randall: Nope, I’m taking my fish and leaving

Randall picks up Ruto bridal style

Ruto: oop! This is different~

They leave

Lana: Can we still have a intervention with 2 people?

Zelda: I’ll go get Linkle!

Zelda leaves to go find her girlfriend

Lana: No! All you two will do is be cuddly and make out! Ugggg

[boysofhyrule]

Pocky day: All AU

Groose AU

Impa: “Groose what are you eating?”

Groose: “A Pocky, saw Zelda and Link eating some made me want one”

Impa: “oh?, can I have one?”

Groose with one already in his mouth

Groose: “yeah sure, they are pumpkin flav-

Impa bites the one off his lips

Impa: “Pumpkin flavor, Interesting”

she say smirking and walking off leaving Groose a stuttering mess

Groose: “Heeeeppy to heeeelp”

———————————————————————————

Randall the Hyrule solder AU

Ruto: “RAAAANNNDAALLL~”!

Randall: “What?”

Ruto: “It’s Pocky day~!”

Randall: “and?”

Ruto holds a Pocky in her mouth and smile at Randall

Randall: “Ruto I’m not gonna-

Sad fish princess noise

Randall: “ugh”

Randall looks all around making sure no one is looking then quickly bites off the Pocky from Ruto lips

———————————————————————————

ZeLinYa Or 100 year old Blonds emotional support Ninja

Zelda: “Paya what is this ‘pok-ee’ day on the calendar?”

Paya: “it’s a day to celebrate the Pocky cookies,they were made after the calamity. some people even have a game to eat them!”

Zelda: “I would like to participate! How do you play?”

Paya explains while turning into a blushing mess. Zelda and Paya then play a few rounds till Link arrives home

Link: “hya sor-

Zelda and Paya both turn to link with holding a snapped Pocky on their lips

Zelda: “Link join us! I think I’m winning!”

Paya looks very dazed but blushing happily as link sits to join them

———————————————————————————

Happy Pocky day everyone

Also feel free to ask questions about any of the UA