#ramble aside
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being a lesbian who craves male validation is so hard. the guy helping me at pt was close to my age and told me it's ok i'm not going to college LITERALLY THAT'S IT and now i'm at home thinking "well... i mean... yeah i like girls but if it really came down to it, and i really cared about someone, maybe gender wouldn't matter" LIKE!!! WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT 😭 i literally go through this with every teen boy i meet. literally every single one, no matter what they look like or what their personality is. it's been like this with every boy the same age as me as far back as i can remember: i get attached and flustered bc i'm not used to others being nice to me, especially people my age because i'm homeschooled and get little social interaction; especially men since there's mostly just women in my life. then i think i have a crush on the guy because of it. then i'm like "...but i literally don't want to date him. like i'm trying to picture it and i cannot picture that happening. i also really don't find him physically attractive" and i realize, oh. i'm just being really really compulsively heterosexual. i'm assuming that caring about the opposite sex must be romantic by default, because my mom directly inserted that belief into my life when i was young. the religious upbringing definitely didn't help, either. it's just me being glad i have a positive male figure in my life, and once i realize that, i'm immediately able to be normal around the guy again, and i completely forget i ever thought i had a crush on them. then repeat cycle with the next guy. am i crazy for this
#ramble aside#i wish i could be friends with the pt guy but that'd be weird#we had some good conversation and he was nice#and also i desperately need friends#especially irl like i'm literally dying on the inside#brody PLEASE be my friend for the love of god i am so lonely#just ignore the fact that i'm a patient and you work there and how awkward that would be#actually you know what im not asking anymore. im so desperate. youre my friend now.#i'll teach you how to draw and you can teach me volleyball#arden speaks
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I met a girl when I was fresh out of high school in undergrad who frankly, annoyed me quite a bit, but I also had an inkling to continue to be compassionate to her given a few things about her life/background/family
I ran into her two years ago. Last week, her daughter turned 1. This girl, let’s called her “P”, is a really good example of why I never feel comfortable mocking trad wives
Her perfect trad husband, who was a shining young figure in the local religious community, volunteered in all sorts of groups, well loved in his workplace and everything else, beat her up at 1 month post-partum. I reached out to her after seeing her desperately asking for a stroller on a page, confused and slightly concerned knowing both of them came from wealthy backgrounds.
The reality for lots of tradwives living “perfect lives” is this: P was immediately ostracised. All the wealth of her husband and her family meant absolutely nothing if she wasn’t in favour and doing what she was told. Her child and her well-being didn’t matter. P, at 25 years old, was basically deemed an oopsie, and left on her own to figure out how to pay for herself, a baby, find housing, and every other task you can think of.
Having known many of these women (and supported many of these women), another factor most people don’t consider is this: they are intentionally raised to be helpless. When I immediately offered my support to P, she really needed it. This young woman needed to be guided through how to apply for government assistance, how to weigh up rentals and apply for them, how to apply for jobs, how to sign up for childcare. How to sign up for your own power and internet, and how to connect them.
It wasn’t that she was “stupid”, or incapable, or spoiled. While it looks like they’re being sheltered, in reality, these women are practically being held hostage. Sure, they might be allowed to learn things that are expected of them (see: basic cooking, baking, cleaning, child rearing, women’s bible studies, hosting, and so forth) but they are heavily controlled from family life into marriage life, and they are never given the opportunity or the reality of what many of us would consider basic adult tasks.
She’s doing okay now. Her daughter turned 1, is happy and healthy. They live frugally, but they have a roof over their heads and the essentials. I often babysit for her so she can attend counselling, or go to a woman’s support group. She is painfully aware that she has so much to learn about how to live as an adult.
I don’t envy tradwives, but I don’t find any joy in mocking them either. Even when they live the most picturesque lives, they’re also practically living a real life Jenga game. If (and often, when) it comes tumbling down, they’re screwed too, and they often have 0 skills to help themselves or find community (that again, isn’t carefully curated).
#if anything I would say I pity the majority of them#material living aside - what an awful way to live.#katie rambles#tw domestic violence#tw abuse#ask 2 tag
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Is this my best comic ever?? Nope. Do I think I characterized either of these two particularly well in this comic?? Not really. Did I spend an unreasonable amount of time on it to the point that it would be a waste to not post it?? Yes, yes I did.
I really committed to this one, spent a lot of time on those backgrounds and treated myself to ample suffering with the perspective, which is not my strong suit but I am happy with how it ultimately looks. Yay perspective and background practice!!
(Tbh I shouldn't talk like I think this one sucks, I think I've just been staring at it for so long that my brain has decided it's not good and it's actually way better than I think it is, and honestly I am quite happy with it. The artistic process really is something, isn't it?)
The inspiration was basically me reminding... myself... to take breaks sometimes... by drawing for several hour stints during my only little bits of free time. Which totally tracks. Probably. But I've been rolling around in my brain this idea that Lambert is a very uptight people pleaser and anxious workaholic, but Narinder, at least since adjusting himself to the circumstances (which probably took at least a century, maybe two) has discovered the joys of self care, and has made an active effort to chill tf out. This has not made him any less terrifying to the cultists (save for Lambert's closest disciples), nor has it made him friendlier to really anyone but Lambert (and maybe his siblings), but he sure has found some serious peace of mind. That said, I can't place what his motivations are here. Perhaps he is secretly concerned about Lambert's sanity, because he doesn't want them to turn into what he was, or maybe he's just trying to steal away some quality time with his one and only friend, but regardless of the reason, I spent too much time on this for nobody to see it, dang it.
That said. Enjoy this silly little comic that I spent way too much time on, and I hope this silly comic brings you some joy today.
#cult of the lamb#cult of the lamb fanart#cotl#cotl fanart#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#cotl narilamb#narilamb#(like honestly narilamb is a qpr to me specifically and i intend this as such but this can easily be read as romantic as well tbh)#also we get some bonus jalala and rinor in this one!! and some bonus... implied leshycat. technically#not gonna tag those individually cuz there's just like. not enough of it for me to feel like those tags have any meaning#but they're here as a bonus. also jalala and rinor are fun to draw maybe i should make a mini comic just about them sometime#rambles aside pls enjoy this ridiculous comic that i spent an unreasonable amount of time on it was a joy to work on#and even tho its not my best comic ever i do love how it turned out it was such a good time
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I can't stop thinking about the relationship between Jon and Helen as perhaps one of the most important ones in the entire show. They are narrative parallels for each other, and they both know it. They've both known it from the very start!
Helen walks into the Archives, paranoid, unsure of who to trust, and Jon sees himself in her. And he thinks "If i can help her, maybe there's hope for me too." Then he can't save her. The next time they meet, she's a monster. They're both monsters. There was never any other way their stories could have gone, their fates entwined from the very start.
And Helen answers his original thought with one of her own: "Maybe if we can help each other, there's hope for us both." But Jon looks at her and sees everything that he fears becoming, and so he turns her away, and refuses to accept that their stories are still one and the same.
Helen went to the last person who was ever kind to her, the only person who both knew her as a human and had the context to understand what she'd become, and he hated her. He hated her because he liked Helen, and told her that she couldn't be Helen.
So she stopped trying to be Helen, and embraced being a monster. Reveled in it even. Then Jon wakes up from a six month coma, more monster than person, and tries so hard to cling to the things that mattered to him when he was human. Even with no support, even with the entire archives staff against him, he chooses humanity and compassion over and over again.
And this is a direct threat to Helen's world view. Their stories are entwined. If Jon can continue to be a person even after everything he's been through, then she could have clung to her humanity too, if only she'd tried a little harder. And that terrifies her! She wants to conceptualize herself as someone who was completely overwhelmed by forces beyond her control, who never had a choice but to become a monster. She want's to be an innocent victim. But Jon argues with his actions that they'd both had choices.
And, Jon, in turn, holds out hope that she might make better choices until the very end.
This is the conflict between them for all of season 4 and 5. Jon wants to prove that they can both be decent people, and Helen wants to prove that they were never going to be anything but monsters. This is why she's so devoted to trying to goad Jon into enjoying his newfound godhood. She knows that they are the same, and wants that to mean that he has a spark of evil inside of him, and not that she was always capable of doing good.
When Jon kills her, she loses her life, but wins the argument. Helen is nothing but a dangerous monster who needs to be killed for the good of everyone, and in the moment he decides that, Jon dooms himself to the same fate. Their stories are one and the same. "If i can help her, maybe there's hope for me too." he thought. But he couldn't help her, refused to, even, in the one moment when it actually mattered. And thus, there was never hope for him.
#the magnus archives#tma#jonathan sims#helen distortion#my rambles#i am not normal about them#helen did nothing wrong in her entire life#(aside from being a real estate agent)#Her story is just so tragic to me#She could have been better#she had choices#thats the entire point#but the choice was between a thankless attempt at retaining her personhood#with absolutely no support and no one who cared about her#or giving into the comforting lie that she never had a choice at all#She had choices and she made them but i don't think anyone could reasonably expect her to have done any better
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my absolute favourite genre of transphobic propaganda is when the caption is like “look at this poor, confused little girl who was forced to mutilate herself :(” and the picture is just the hottest man you’ve ever seen in your life with a full beard and a body that would make thor weak at the knees
#ramble#also like. everything else aside calling any ADULT a ‘poor young girl’ is yucky af#we’re not delicate little flowers who don’t know how to think. i’m an adult with medical autonomy and a working brain#calm down you’re deranged#i won’t get on my soapbox today but it’s just funny how they think they’re the grounded sane ones#also the double standard drives me insane#with trans men it’s ‘delicate abused woman’ and with trans women it’s ‘creepy predatory man’#it’s almost like transphobia is just rebranded misogyny and they don’t actually care about equal rights#who would’ve thought
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i think my favorite part about the tma liveshow with the Dog Incident is the fact that it's canon. like the fluff episodes are cute and fun but they also aren't canon and weren't written to be considered potentially canon, they're just fun lil fan things. the liveshow tho is meant to be considered canon. which means that yes, jon did in fact canonically go "like, in general?" to being asked if he'd seen a dog (which let's be real that's a mood i would also do that if caught off guard)
but also essentially jon was like "okay so you work for me, cool, and i could Fire You If Don't Fix This Immediately" and martin literally Looked This Man In The Eyes and said "i mean yeah, probably heh :) oH-" with the gayest processing delay i've ever heard in my LIFE. i honestly don't think that was any of his little manipulations of getting people to underestimate him or whatever i really think he was just that gay about Handsome Man With Nice Voice Speaking Authoritatively At Him that it took him a minute to process. and that's CANON. that's REAL. he DID THAT. i can't get over that.
#ramblings with major#the magnus archives#tma#speaking of the liveshow i wish someone would do a lil animatic of tim's bit. i sure do wish some artist who enjoys tim stoker would do tha#i sure wish. i sure. i do so wish. some OTHER ARTIST who has TIME-#(jokes aside my goodness do i wanna do an animatic for that bit. but i have never done a proper animatic in my life it would take so long)
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It's kinda crazy that in ROMAN'S fantasy/imagination we not only see Janus being chill with him, we also see him and Remus agreeing on something (albeit slutty costumes) and then we also don't see a single bit of criticism thrown his way.
Romans silly little scenario where everything is perfect <3
#sanders sides#rowan rambles#roman sanders#ts roman#if i can find angst in a silly little short aside episode i will.
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Just a silly guy, with silly silly thoughts.
@glowweek Day 2
Casual | Surprise
A casual surprise?😬😬😬
#Hooooo boiii this lad is about to get funky.#He was internally screaming the whole time.#It's in my core memory as a connverse fan. I'm never truly going to let this up I believe. haha#Our boy really one day went out there wanting to get married as a teen like a true classic Disney princess. 😭#It was honestly endearing but sad and also pretty embarrassing. 😔#Secondhand embarrassment aside. Steven is pretty much lucky in the romance department. Which. Deserved by the way. With all the other#crap he had to deal with.#connverse#Steven Quartz Universe#Connie Maheswaran#SU#my shiz#teal#SU comic#glowweek#connverse week#I have no idea if whatever Connie is spouting are actuallt true in real life. Good thing this can be chalked off as just a thing in their#fictional world.#Also I'm glad part of that was covered by Connie's body because I had to take a few notes from chat GPT to add in her enumerated rambling.#I had to make the glow bracelet float like that because I couldn't draw his hand holding it quiet right in that angle.#And yea that size difference is no error. That's how small Connie's wrist is compared to his hands. Or at least something like that.#comic
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My dad was looking to rehome his old electric bike and I stopped by to try it out. It’s pretty tall but I think that’s what you’re supposed to get for good pedaling.
But spoiler alert. Electric bikes are just. Fun.
My chronic fatigue has meant a lot less outside time overall and a limit on fun activities that are too vigorous. But I’m genuinely like. This is so accessible and makes outdoor stuff more achievable and it was just so exciting to be riding that I fully giggled aloud.
#ramblies#they had a bike that I think will fit my beloved#so we just need helmets and bike locks. maybe a bike rack depending#but it’s really exciting#I moved my wheelchair while storing the new bikes and I was like#I could not have foreseen feeling this much better when I was in that chair#and I hope I never get that low again#but it’s exciting to move it aside for a bike
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Gear Station is not haunted. No, Gear Station is alive and well.
A bit of an explanation below the cut:
I had this idea at the end of September, and it has had me in a death grip ever since.
I've always had a fascination with stories about haunted houses, of which aren't haunted by ghosts or demons or monsters, but are instead deemed haunted because the House itself is Alive. The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson, Anatomy by KittyHorrorShow, House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski, just to name a few.
But after a while, it got me thinking; if a House could be Haunted, then what else could? What about other feats of architecture? How about ships or stations?
And if Houses learn to hate because they are abandoned by humanity, can other places learn to love because they are loved by humanity?
Anyways, this is a very VERY long-winded way to say that two of my special interests have combined into the idea of Gear Station itself being Alive and watching over the twins and its other inhabitants. Hopefully nothing bad happens after realizing an eldritch Being is possessing your workplace, and I hope nothing bad further happens after realizing it Knows you! 🫶 surely nothing can go wrong!
#submas#houses that hate. ships that sing. stories that are reflections of humanity cast onto things not meant to feel.#GOD I love the idea of horrors just beyond our comprehension taking the forms of places that we should recognize and turning them into-#-into something hostile and meant to trap us#but! ramblings aside#ive got a general idea of what i want to do with this. but i Do Not Draw Fast 🫶 and I have a lot of ideas already on the backburner :(#but i'll be working on it behind the scenes :)#submas ingo#ingo#my art#project: bayer
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cassie sandsmark star jorts from issue #23 of yj98 you have always been famous to me
(before pic + additional photos and unnecessary ramblings under the cut)
I made these jorts in 22 hours over the course of 3 days! pure willpower via my love for cassie sandsmark because I am a total novice in sewing and i am still not very good at it. (i really just combined various tutorials and improvised on measurements and then regretted improvising measurements later on).
I thrifted these jeans last year for cassie vibes (even though I had already made her star-spangled red bellbottoms at that point) and wasn't a fan of how they fit + I couldn't figure out how to style them. I enjoyed sewing in the panels to flare them out and then everything else (cargo pockets and sewing in stars) was hell <3
the pockets are not placed well (nor are they particularly well-made), the hem is uneven, the stars are quite janky (and I think I stitched on too many), I probably stabbed my fingers a million times, and I am so in love with them
#these jorts are stained with the blood of my incapabilities but its okay because theyre already red#what should i conquer next in the cassie sandsmark wardrobe#as of current i have made: her GIRL necklace + her red star earrings + her wonder girl shirt (crop t-shirt version)#+ as aforementioned- her red bellbottoms#all of the above aside from the red bellbottoms were made for my halloween costume last year#the red bellbottoms were made last summer just bc i already had red bellbottoms that i never wore#none of the above really cycle through my everyday wardrobe#but i'm hoping these shorts will be an exception!#(i also have a very similar fit to what she wears in issue 22 of yj98- light green polo + dark blue baggy jeans)#(will probably just make an oversized ww shirt to go with my lightwash jorts for a baby cassie look.)#(should i be looking for a denim vest too... i can put a wonder woman patch on it...)#cassie sandsmark#wonder girl#cassandra sandsmark#young justice#yj98#young justice comics#wonder woman#dc#dc comics#soo much rambling happening in this post. sorry guys i've spent the last 3 days in hyperfocus mode and now i need release
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xiaolumi resurrected from my heart for the new year!!
#genshin impact#genshin impact fanart#xiaolumi#xiaolumi fanart#lumine fanart#xiao fanart#rameiixo#i havent stopped thinking about them. like ever#i feel like i could go on rambles forever about how thoroughly special they feel to me#aside from… xiao being my love……#but thats for another day#i have all these ideas and i concept them#but i always think i cant do those ideas justice ? like what kind of creative redundancy is that#i got so frustrated with myself that i do not care anymore i want to make things i love#excited to see where i end up a year from now!
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captain and the girlssss
#bbc ghosts#ghosts bbc#i think its sweet that captain’s better friends with the girls than with any of the guys aside from pat#even then he and pat are like co-leaders#i think its fascinating how his relationship with both of them evolved#i think sometimes about that moment where lady b’s offended about the two brides and captain gives her a side glance but obviously#says nothing#can you tell i post art just to ramble in the replies?#also when kitty’s looking for someone she yells alison’s name first and then captain’s. i just think that they#kitty’s two fairy godmothers………..#edit: why did i say replies when i meant tags. anyway
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“talia was a codename for noel!”
“noel was catfishing mischa!”
don't care. CURSE OF RA 𓀀 𓀁 𓀂 𓀃 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆 𓀇 𓀈 𓀉 𓀊 𓀋 𓀌 𓀍 𓀎 𓀏 𓀐 𓀑 𓀒 𓀓 𓀔 𓀕 𓀖 𓀗 𓀘 𓀙 𓀚 𓀛 𓀜 𓀝 𓀞 𓀟 𓀠 𓀡 𓀢 𓀣 𓀤 𓀥 𓀦 𓀧 𓀨 𓀩 𓀪 𓀫 𓀬 𓀭 𓀮 𓀯 𓀰 𓀱 𓀲 𓀳 𓀴 𓀵 𓀶 𓀷 𓀸 𓀹 𓀺 𓀻 𓀼 𓀽 𓀾 𓀿 𓁀 𓁁 𓁂 𓁃 𓁄 𓁅 𓁆 𓁇 𓁈 𓁉 𓁊 𓁋 𓁌 𓁍 𓁎 𓁏 𓁐 𓁑 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆
#jamie rambles#ride the cyclone#rtc#noel rtc#noel gruber#mischa bachinski#mischa rtc#okay jokes aside i think it severely cheapens the impact of talia if all along she was just noel like it’s a gotcha moment#i think nischa and talia being real can coexist#i find the symbolism of mischa growing more comfortable being affectionate with noel towards the end of the musical symbolic of like#mischa coming to terms with the fact that he’ll never see talia again yk#also the catfish theory is just plain stupid like god forbid gay people are moral human beings
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canary of the iron mine
thinkin about what or who could be lurking in the depths of that mine under the iron shop..
#gkm arts#hermitcraft season 10#hermitcraft fanart#hermitcraft#mcyt fanart#mcyt#mumbo jumbo fanart#jimmy solidarity#solidaritygaming#solidaritygaming fanart#digital art#illustration#artists on tumblr#lafakiwi draws#canary in the coal mine#hermitblr#mcytblr#portfolio#i have a whole. story and theory that goes with this if anyone is interested in hearin me ramble 👀#but yeah this is where ive been the past 2.5 weeks mostly aside from doin doodles
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straight trans guys & aro trans guys solidarity. weird that my whole life I've been expected to be into dudes and now that I'm a guy the lgbts also want me to be into dudes or else they don't really think of me as one of them
and while I'm not attracted to anybody and straight trans dudes are attracted to women, i feel like we're in the same boat here. too queer for the straights and too straight for the queers
#not that i *need* to be a part of the lgbt community like that yk but still#its a little isolating to not fit in with any of the other trans people you find irl#(aside from my trans friends i knew pre-transition obv ily)#(and no shade to the gay & bi people im friends with irl either. this is more abt Generalizing Groups not the individual lgbt people i know#(Generalized*)#(i fear i may be rambling lol)#transhet#ftm#trans man#aromantic#trans#aro#o.
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