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Winter: Garden Planning
Winter is a wonderful time to read up on gardening literature. When your garden is fast asleep, it is the perfect time to make preparations for next year. Whether you are new to gardening or an old hand: this is the yearly time for reflection. What has worked for you? What have you struggled with? What are you sure of? What would you like to learn about? Learn how to create a long lasting, low…
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#beginner garden#cheapest raised bed#cinder blocks#easy vegetable gardening#gardening#Hugelkultur#ideas#keyhole garden#raised bed ideas#vegetable gardening
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Winter: Garden Planning
Winter is a wonderful time to read up on gardening literature. When your garden is fast asleep, it is the perfect time to make preparations for next year. Whether you are new to gardening or an old hand: this is the yearly time for reflection. What has worked for you? What have you struggled with? What are you sure of? What would you like to learn about? Learn how to create a long lasting, low…
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#beginner garden#cheapest raised bed#cinder blocks#easy vegetable gardening#gardening#Hugelkultur#ideas#keyhole garden#raised bed ideas#vegetable gardening
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Hey, uh, what's your favourite war crime? For research purposes...
#raccoons rambles#my insect-devouring transhumanist cannibal not-cult rancher farmers that crashlanded on a massive slime mold are running out of ideas#for some reason sending drop pods of toxic waste that we didn't create was too far#and the local gunslinging settlers got mad#mind you the colony has to regularly consume their enemies because the growing season is too short#and the only food is the occasional animal that wanders in and literal slime#surprised they've lasted like 4 years already#they're at the point that they can raise kids#this is all from rimworld btw#i recently got back into it#i'm tired and fighting a headache rn#gonna go to bed now#thanks for reading#...this may be partly why i haven't been posting lately
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odysseus and penelope and how the text refuses to give us explicit declarations of love and has them distrust and even fear each other at times bc they are playing on each others level they are relating on wits alone and not by playing fun witty games of banter but like strategists in war. favorite love story of all time
#penelope is the female character of all time. what are her motivations we have no idea. why did she raise telemachus like That#the living marital bed. the games she devises#its so different from any modern love story and. she is bery beautiful to me
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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happy paul had a 15 minute presser after the last practise of preseason so of course hes gonna treat it like a standup routine or alternatively the paul antagonises our beat (as he usually does) but especially george his greatest frenemy cut
Training Camp 24 | 10.7.24 (x)(x)
#paul maurice#florida panthers#2425#preseason#sorry when im pissy i do just cc this man yeah it brings me back to my carebear-isms#“are we ignoring people we dont” he said with too much glee in his eyes#george he raises his hand immediately afterwards because he likes testing pauls patience and paul goes “can i help you”#he says it in the same bitchy way i say it when someone follows me into the kitchen#“oh. george.” he says in faux surprise because lest it be anyone else who drags this presser longer than it needs to#you can tell its george if pauls willingly to continue on the banter at the expense of presser runtime#the HOPEFULLY we play a goalie tonight#paul has no idea of the status of the goalies at any point in time because hes sacred of robbies children#also after talking about the hurricane him going STAY DRY to everyone is sooooo#yeah old man lets get you to bed#“mr. chatelier” theres an inside joke here we are not privy to
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You may have already mentioned this in some of your other metas, and I just missed it, so please ignore this if it's redundant.
Do you think Bruce is projecting onto Jason by pushing him as a Robin? Obviously, Jason wanted to be Robin and was excited about it, and Bruce let Jason do other things, but (if I'm not mistaken) before Tim came into play, solidifying the whole Batman needs a Robin/support to keep him upright, Bruce and Dick becoming Batman and Robin, in the beginning, was also sort of a coping mechanism.
I think there are a few examples of Bruce enabling this kind of mindset. Like in Gotham Knights #43–44 (sorry), every time Barbara brings up Jason's inner turmoil, Bruce refocuses on his ability as a Robin; similarly, when Jason finds out about Two-Face and his dad, he is hurt, and Bruce acknowledges that but then does the same thing, zeroing in on reassuring Jason that he made a mistake but is still a good Robin.
Like, Jason got it from Bruce, but he unintentionally encouraged that kind of thinking.
oh, i definitely think that bruce is projecting on jason and that it profoundly affected jay. and, while every single one of your observations is apt, i would add that what truly made it so tragic is that he projected his own worst traits on jason while being blind to the fact that jay already shared his best qualities.
tldr: bruce projects himself on jason in terms of grief (saying that jason needs vigilantism to work his grief through) and sees his own worst traits in jason (anger) but doesn't see his own best traits in jay (compassion, love, and sensitivity). ironically, jason does end up developing all of the (projected) worst characteristics of bruce (obsessiveness, and relentlessness in pursuit of the respective perceived idea of justice). this happens even though they were barely present in his early storylines, and only ever manifested when jason was scared or lost. later, they truly came to be because of his trauma relating to vigilantism.
and the long, long version, coming with panels and quotes: under the cut.
first i want to say that the following analysis focuses very specifically on bruce's mistakes, but i don't view the overall of jay's upbringing by bruce solely in these terms. from text it is also clear that bruce deeply loves and cares about jay, and that jay enjoys being robin. now that this is clear, let's get to particularities, and start with jay's origin story.
i truly never stop thinking about the significance of bruce meeting jay in the crime alley, the place of his parents' death. there's a lot to be said about it, but here the focus is, of course, on the fact that he sees a little boy, very much similar to himself, angry and hurt, in the same scenery that brought him so much grief. and jay in some ways does appear to be a mirror of bruce's own agonies, as well as a mirror of his own inclination for seeking justice; and somehow, bruce fixates on the first one, while almost completely dismissing the latter.
bruce looks at him and assumes that the remedy to jason's pain and anger is being robin; and he doesn't stop to think about it. (it has to be noted that there's also classism at play, classism that is mostly a result of writers' own beliefs – collins did state in a couple of interviews that that the motivation behind jason's background was to make his introduction into vigilantism seem less offensive, as jason has already been exposed to crime...)
i think, in this context, it's interesting to look at the two-face storyline even closer, and from the start too. in the beginning, bruce talks of jason's 'street' roots and assumes jay would go "down the same criminal road that took his father [willis] to an early death." he also talks of jason making a lot of progress. later, in batman #411, after jason learns that willis has been killed by two-face, bruce comments that jay "has never been like this...listless...almost pouting--"
this all, along with jay's cheerful and diligent behaviour from the previous issue builds an interesting picture for us: because we essentially learn that jay has been overall an unproblematic child. bruce, of course, attributes this "progress" to the training. however, for anyone else, the logical conclusion would be that jay's quick adjustment was simply a matter of finding himself in a safe and stable environment and receiving continuous support and attention from a parental figure. i find it rather questionable that jason's personality softened down because he had something to punch in the cave–– the more intuitive explanation is of course that he was angry and quick to fight when they first met because he couldn't afford anything else and because he was scared. but months later, in a loving home, he can allow himself to drop his guard; and his cocky attitude disappears until much later.
so the rather unsettling picture that we derive is that bruce is training jay to become a vigilante in order to "channel" his (nonvisible at this point) anger into something useful and just. and he clearly links this to his own trauma in batman #416 (that’s already starlin btw), in his conversation with dick, explaining why he took jay in: “he’s so full of anger and frustration… he reminds me of myself, just after my parents were killed.” bruce also mentions that soon after their first meeting, jason helped him and "handled himself well" in the fight, but he doesn't mention that jay has ran away from a crime "school" and intended to stop injustice on his own only because he was ignored.
the theme of bruce comparing jay to himself appears again in detective comics #574 (barr), where it is approached with a much more... critical look, thanks to leslie's presence and her skepticism of bruce's actions. after jason has suffered nearly fatal injuries at the hand of the mad hatter, bruce reminisces on his own trauma and motives. he tells leslie: "i didn't choose jason for my work. he was chosen by it...as i was chosen." leslie replies: "stop that! (...) you do this for yourself... you're still that little boy (...)" then, the conversation steers to the familiar ground and the topic of anger. in bruce's words, again: “i wanted to give jason an outlet for his rage…wanted him to expunge his anger and get on with his life…” and finishes "and instead, i may have killed him."
the recognition that bruce's projection on jason and involving him with his work might have fatal consequences is, as always, fast forgotten once jay wakes up and proclaims that he wants to continue his work as robin.
but to circle back, i think there's something else worth our attention, something deeply ironic, that is showcased in that issue: that bruce has no evidence for jay's "rage." when leslie talks of bruce's past, she recalls his tendencies to get into brutal fights at perceived injustice as early as in school; when bruce talks of jason, two pictures that are juxtaposed, are that of jason fighting as robin and jason... smiling, playing baseball.
so, in the early days of jason's training and work in the field, we see bruce talking of jason's anger a lot; but we barely see it.
that being said, jay is angry sometimes– and i think your observation about how bruce deals with it is incredibly interesting and accurate.
we first see jay truly and devastatingly angry in the two-face storyline. bruce focuses on jay's reaction as robin, which is, in fact, aggressive. but something that he barely addresses is that jason's first reaction is sleeping all day, and not beating anyone to a pulp; in fact, this vengeful instinct seems to arise only when he is put right in front of two-face. and his third instinct, once the rage (very quickly) dies down after the altercation with two-face, is crying, because bruce hid the truth about willis' death from him. jay, while crying, asks bruce: "you have taken me out into combat-- but you spare me this?" in response, bruce lectures jason about how grief inspires revenge, which is, again, deeply ironic, given that jay seeking out revenge seemed to be prompted and enabled solely by the role of robin. moreover, his question suggests that at this point he saw grief ("you spare me this") and fighting as two different things.
the final is, as you said, bruce focusing on making it into a lesson on vigilantism, or, in his own words, "tempering revenge into justice." personally, i think in this way bruce directs jason to bring his grief into the field as a powering force, something that he didn't necessarily have an own incentive to do. the flash of compartmentalisation between his ordinary life and being a sidekick that jay has shown by questioning bruce's decision is lost. emotions are now a robin thing, and they have an (informal) protocol, a moral code. and when jay is confronted with an emotionally exhausting case next – the garzonas case, i believe that the focus on "tempering revenge into justice" is exactly the problem– we don't see jay crying, we see him frantic about finding the solution. this, right there, is bruce's obsessiveness, that in my opinion, was developed in jay specifically as a result of how his engagement with vigilantism combines with his deep sensitivity.
and, needless to say, his sensitivity is all the same as that of bruce – they both can't stand looking at other people hurting, they both wear their hearts on their sleeve, caring way too much – the thing is, bruce never quite acknowledges how they are similar in this matter. instead, he focuses on his sparse bursts of anger, wanting to bring jason closure in his grief the only way he knows it – in a fight for a better world. so, as you said, he focuses on jason's ability as robin.
which just doesn't work for jason. at all. we know it from how his robin run comes to an end: in the first issue of a death in the family (batman #426) alfred informs: “i’ve come upon him, several times, looking at that battered old photograph of his mother and father, crying.” to that, bruce contends: “in other words, i may have started jason as robin before he had a chance to come to grips with his parents deaths.” he also tells jay that the field is not a place for someone who is hurting; a message that is the opposite of what he's been saying for years now, and something that i imagine was difficult for bruce to conceptualise, because then he would have to question his own unhealthy tendencies. it's a bit late to come to this realisation; bruce's self-projection that caused him to worry so much about jay's anger has already turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy that will fully manifest itself in utrh, when jason does the only thing he was taught to do with grief: try to channel it into justice.
#AHHH this took me so long for no reason at all. so sorry anon <3#anyway. i'm obsessed with your observation regarding bruce's focus on robin in the two-face storyline#i've already briefly considered it but you made me go back and reread it#and i just stared at these panels of jason in bed all day for like good 5 minutes thinking. jesus christ. jesus christ#“you spare me *this*?” <- this line is making me feel SICK TO MY STOMACH.#so maybe bruce is right when he says that he made jason like this in tfz.#and jay is of course even more right when he says that he didn't make him. he raised him#also don't apologise for bringing in gotham knights#i actually talked about it some before because it is a very good illustration of bruce projecting on jay#<- i didn't include it here bc my post was getting insanely long.#anyway back on the topic. i think it's so deeply sad that jay genuinely has no idea#that this is what bruce thinks#i think he would be DEVASTATED if he knew the way bruce fixated on the idea of his anger#hm. normal now.#thank you so much for this ask. you can tell i was delighted to answer it <3#i actually already had a draft about it when you sent it... but i'm sooo slow with editing my word vomit#outbox#jay.zip#jay.txt#dc#jason todd#core texts
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I LOVE DRAWING TENDER THINGS I LOVE DRAWING JUST PEOPLE COMFORTABLE WITH EACHOTEHR I LOVE THE TENDERNESS OF CUDDLING WITH A PERSON U HOLD DEAR THE LITTLE GIGGLES AND LAUGHTERS THAT COME WITH THAT, THE STUPID INSIDE JOKES AND NONSENSE I LOVE WHEN PHYSICAL AFFECTION LOVE LANGUAGE
#I LOVE PHYSICAL AFFECTION SO MUCH#YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA#I LOVE IT#ITS SO SILLY#AND SO SWEET#I WAS RAISED WITH PHYSICAL AFFECTION AS A MAIN LOVE LANGUAGE#AND ITS STILL A MUST TO CUDDLE BEFORE BED W MY MOM#I LOVE HUGGING AND KISSING AND HOLDING HANDS WITH MY FRIENDS#TO SHOW THEM HOW MUCH THEY MEAN#JUST LEANING ON THEIR SHOULDER#OR TOUCHING ARMS#OR HUGGING THEM FROM BEHIND#I LOVE SHOWING MY LOVE WITH SIMPLE TOUCHES#NO WORDS NEEDED
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if you wear shoes in the house
EXPLAIN. EXPLAIN TO MY FOREIGN FACE WHY YOU WEAR YOUR FILTHY DIRTY PREPPY LITTLE VANS ON THE CARPET I JUST WASHED
#Please explain yourself if you do#Why do people keep their shoes on??#As a child I’d watch shows like Jessie or movies like home alone and they just WALK RIGHT IN. ON THE BED.#And child me would stare in horror#raised in a Russian home I cannot understand. Even in an Americanized house I still can’t grasp the idea#Do all Americans keep their shoes on in the house? All my neighbors did#Sorry if I’m excluding any other shoe-bearing nations out there you’re still crazy though
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i hav been up since 1 am and i have work in an hour. thumbs up emoji
#had some coffee so i dont pass out and that was a misdtake. i am nauseous now heart emoji#no idea why i just could not sleep. not a wink. and lord did i fucking try i went to bed at 11 but she did not come for me#in positive news i got some more positive reviews at work and might be getting another raise soon. Zenithar willing.
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beaded bracelet grasped/like a rosary
hands pressed together/hands in prayer
sit in a circle/say the words
sing the songs/we all know
you're part of the group/you are one of us
candlelit comfort/been around forever
generations of girls/exact same thing
beads/bracelet
hands/prayer
group/circle
holy/night
famous/ritual
now you are older and have left/the group
now you cannot relate/to those days
no longer a girl/no longer believe
hands sit loosely/stay silent
left the circle/they talk about you
your short hair/your old jeans
original/not worthy
happier/now
#mine#poetry#vent#exmormon#exmo#ex christian#spilled ink#does this make sense to anyone but me. probably not#something about being raised christian and a girl and leaving both#something about how both things intertwine and parallel each other#and how they affect you#even when you arent a christian or a girl anymore#idk#words#i was climbing into bed after reading fanfic for an hour and then got the idea for this poem#sighed#and went to write it in a sleep deprived haze#so if theres any mistakes thats why#ok gn
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i need to lock in on attacks but... comic ideas......... AURGHH
#larry time#im going to bed now but#ive been kicking around a few lyric comic ideas#most prominently one set to in heaven by japanese breakfast... the kiru childhood song of all time#in general a lot of japanese breakfasts discography is very fitting for kiru which has made making a kiru playlist kinda hard#because half of it can't be one artist. like i just can't do that#but in heaven is like. it hits all the notes#the grief. the confusion. the anger at other relatives who are affected way less. the religious disillusionment#<- i just realized i never mentioned. kiru was raised christian until the nikuyas moved to akatsuka#kenny got too sick to attend church regularly and mayumi + her grandparents weren't christian so they just kinda stopped#which was a little confusing for baby kiru and i think the song captures it all#well** not all#okay going to bed now BYEEEEE
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i want to make a long detailed post about how i personally characterize sparrow but i feel like nobody is ready for that conversation
#i analyzed sparrow oak garcia and the results are NOT what you think#no but really he is#i know everyone sees him as this exhausted overwhelmed emotional guy and#i get that i really do#in fact its probably more loyal to canon#however i raise you the idea that maybe sparrow would choose lark over his son#😳 oop#BUT YALL ARENT READY FOR THAT CONVO#who am i if not the person in the fandom with the most unpopular batshit crazy opinions#ill orobably delete this i need to go to bed#its gonna be alright
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steven/mocha is canon
#wispy talks#im going off my deep end mode . i no longer care about peoples perception of me outside of not being a jackass to ideas i dont like#bc no matter how low i get im not. like. uber popular. but most of this fandom is minors. i do not want to sway easily swayable opinions#for like. nonserious shit if its not a problem. this is unrelated tho basically dont be a jackass 2 ppl Anywyas#context: my oc#context: rp partner and i rp it.. yay#fuck EVERY OTHER STEVEN SHIP XCEPT THIS ONE !!!! ( /j )#this isnt no Fandom ship that erases their personality and characterization for unseasoned yaoi this is REAL SHIT!1!!!!!!!!!#that isnt a callout to anything particular other than fandom culture in general#You dont know how many thoughts i have youd never survive a day in the asylum they raised me in. Why the fuck did i quote that.#the 'asylum they raised me in' was miiverse and 3ds youtube.#so i dont know what that adds to anything#if any of my ex friends turned back into current friends see this i am so fucking sorry my hyperfixation shame runs deep#but its my hyperfixation now. I have become more autistic. Welcome back CHEATER. ive reclaimed him essentially. mine now.#dont let me type online within 20 mins of waking up#anyways (goes insane#mocha makes him breakfast in bed and mails him little letters by togekiss and visits when hes not busy at work... and steven just opens up.#bit by bit by bit... and he misses mocha so deaaarly. he misses her. he misses his beautiful doeboyfriend. and his scent.#and his good as fuck pancakes and the way he worries about stevens mental health and if hes taking care of himself. etc etc...#hes scary and intimidating. but not to mocha . not anymore...
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visca barça at least we aren’t fascists💙❤️
come off anon and say this to my face so i can block you and keep my peace as i have been doing because i don’t like conflict.
i literally abstain of commenting on the disgusting things i’ve heard culers say about us because i simply dislike speaking ill of others and i’m able to respect completely whatever club you support, unlike whoever sent this. and this is probably the last instance i’ll do comments like this.
to have things like this dropped into my ask box when i’ve been nothing but respectful is insulting. this reason why i disliked football in the first place growing up and why im hesitant when barcelona fans follow me. if you follow me, unfollow and stop bothering me. and overall fuck off tremendously.
#you’re speaking abt fascism as if i actively support it for supporting my club#nevertheless of the history that i’m extremely aware it is there#the stadium banned those that are actual fascist that attended the matches to spread such ideas#and one of the main reasons why i don’t pick fights with barca fans is because is completely understand that it isn’t only abt the club#but it also has to do with the nationalism and said history#you aren’t fascists yet you’re still an organization that’s rotting and falling apart from the inside out with the worst mentality ever#the day your president stops treating the fans like children and telling you things like they should be the world will be a better place#and the day both fanbases learn to be objective is the day i flourish because i absolutely hate this type of shit#seriously leave me the fuck alone#i’m so sorry for this culer moots i still love y’all bcuz so far i’ve been respected#and if this was one of you seriously tell me so i can just block you and keep my peace#besides this is YOUR bed and you LIE on it#YOUR president voted against goal line technology#YOUR president voted to raise tebas’ salary when ours declined#AND voted in favor of goal line tech#maybe instead of complaining to something that doesn’t have anything to do with us#you should open your eyes and assess the problem from its root#˙ ˖ ꕀ 🜸 𓈒 ˙ — mail !
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Was suddenly struck by the idea for a (mostly platonic) Emma Frost and Atticus Moore fic, and while trying to come up with an interesting angle for the relationship my mind drifted to "Emotional Support Booty Call".
So uh, yeah, that's what we're going with.
#emma frost: “yes hes sleeping in my bed but really hes just telling me im hot and im doing a good job raising my daughters”#idk i think the idea is cute and also decently fitting#emma frost#atticus moore#x-men oc
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