#railway to hell

[hejnokavek]

české dráhy, národní dopravce

[perpetual-lurker]

Thanks so much to M.E. Harper, auctioneer for making it possible to figure out where this is so now he gets a shout-out in a book a century later ✌️

[charseraph]

[thornofthevale]

"to know how it ends, and still begin to sing it again, as if it might turn out this time" will never fail to punch a hole straight through my entire being

[edwards-exploit]

The Bournemouth Belle, and The Last Shunter.

More OCs! SteamNav and Missus are rather new so some info might be subject to change, and they were AU versions of certain characters (3 points if you guess who) buuut they spiralled into new characters. SteamNav is tranquil fury incarnate, trying to take control of his life after so long being something humans have tinkered with and throwing herself into making Incredibly Bad Descisions; and Missus can and will judge your (engine) sins, but she keeps losing at poker and that's why Sodor is so damn haunted. If anyone has any more questions or just want to help me brainstorm send me an ask and I'll answer :]

[sleepyminty]

This motherfucker

stand up

JUST TO MOVE HIS CHAIR

[thegreatyin]

behold :) city scoundrel :) isn't she beautiful

[slothpower-central]

I was was streaming Refraction Railway 4 for my friend @andromedako and they managed to capture this perfect image

[j4zz4lop3]

I have just realized i got my own story wrong. Which you will understand if you read my original talia post and this one, the stories don’t agree with eachother, that’s because i fucked up, i might delete this as it’s literally almost all wrong, the talia hc post is the one with the true beginning of the story.

Aight lore for my weird haunted au time (it does not fit in one post. There will be more. Keep in mind that i have NOT seen Legoland, and the cannon of this story completely ignores what might be in it)

On tuesday, September 15 2009, the day after 5 members of the St. cassain Chamber Choir died in a rollercoaster accident. The 6th, Penny Lamb, made a miraculous recovery, a true miracle, especially considering the girl almost lost her head to a sharp piece of metal, yet it thankfully, almost like a magical intervention, the only harm had come to her uniform. She seemed truly unscathed, almost as if it never happened...well, at least physically, she did. Mentally, however, it was another story. An interview with the girl was attempted, but she proved to be much more unstable than expected. She kept muttering about some sentient mind controling machine, a warehouse, some game about life and death and...space cats? People were hoping the girl would regain her sanity, yet with time, she only grew more and more paranoid. She fell into an obsession of sorts, convinced that the incident wasn't an accident, that it must have been planned. But there's no way it could've been... right?

September 21th, 2011, sunday.

A 19-year-old girl, Penny Lamb, is reported missing by her mother. At a moderate level of mental inclarity, she is suspected to have run away from home. She is most likely wearing a green rain jacket and dark blue jeans, carrying a brown mailbag, medium leangth blonde hair, and height 5'4. Anyone who has seen the girl or has any possible clues, please call 684 551 707 or contact her mother at isabella_lamb@gmail.com

(As an aside, please do not call the number or email the email. There are no secrets i made it up, do not pester some poor woman named Isabella lamb on her email)

On the anniversary of her friends death, only a week prior to her mysterious dissapearence, the girl received a message

good morning Penny,

my name is Natalia, my English is not the best (I use a translator). You don't know who I am, but I know you. my family came to Canada from Belgium so I could see my boyfriend's grave. I want to talk to you in...complete privacy about the accident. You studied French in school, right? I speak French quite well. we have much to discuss. I await your reply. - Talia Bolinska

She was quite perplexed at first, how did this girl find her phone number? Was this a trick? A cruel joke? Could this have been the same Talia that Mischa was talking about? It seemed unreal and yet so intreuging...she decided to respond with caution (the rest of this is in french, just use your imagination for it because i have german as my second foreign language and i don't think you feel like translating it either)

Hello Talia

I'm glad you decided to contact me, but i must ask you a couple of questions first... I was told you were ukranian, why is it you want to speak French?

Oh, I am.I've just been living away. listen, if you would just meet me in person, i would gladly explain anything you're interested in

Is that really necessary? We can discuss anything we would need to like this.

Please just tell me where and when you're able to meet. i have things to talk about that i wouldn't want any evidence of, i know you think the event of the tragedy was planned. I know that people don't believe you, but not only do i trust that you're right, I'd go as far as say i know you are, and i know how to prove it, just Please trust me this once...

Are you still here on sunday?

[esteemed-excellency]

[mean-scarlet-deceiver]

Is it just me or does some of Wilbert’s stories feel a little … mean spirited, lol?

Go on... 🤭

[demonofnowhere]

Time’s Time: Time for Thomas (don’t interrupt him) & Time for Stelle (interrupt me ASAP)

* now, i once had a lovely introduction to this post.  i did, honest.  it discussed how twitter has gotten worse and worse, and how if things went well i will do my best to post more thomas stuff here, and even briefly mentioned what this post is actually about. . .

* then firefox crashed. * being new to tumblr, i had not saved a draft of my post.  in fact, i found out you could save drafts mere minutes before firefox crashed.  i thought to myself “wow! what a nifty feature!”, and then proceeded to not save it.  this almost happened twice actually.  i managed to save it the second time thankfully.  i’m still livid though.

* thank you stelle, you are a really useless idiot.

* therefore, we’re not going to have that nice introduction.  the only things you need to know from that post is that you can find me on Twitter (@DemonOfNowhere) for more of my usual infodumping, and that i’ve ditched my usual typing quirks in favour of making this post readable for you all.  let’s get straight to the point instead. * greetings, i’m stelle, demon of nowhere (name change pending?), and it is unfortunately time for thomas.

Doesn’t it feel strange to see me type normally? With dignity? With even the slightest amount of respect for myself? Err, ahem, I mean... Thomas! I love Thomas. I love the ending of “Stepney’s Special” for Thomas.

Thomas tries very hard to maintain a very professional profile on his branch line. It’s likely something he picked up from Gordon, if his attempts to imitate him whilst he was younger are anything to go by (note “Thomas’ Train”). If you get in Thomas’s way, he kicks up such a fuss and holds it against you until either one of your gets a taste of Sudrian karma (”you” being Percy in this situation, usually). This all means that when Thomas is shunted to allow Stepney, a newcomer, fly past him with one measely coach while Thomas, Annie, Clarabel and their passengers crossly wait for him to pass, Thomas gets cross.

Really cross. Super cross. He holds it against Stepney and is still fuming by the time the next morning arrives.

Thomas spoils the effect of it very quickly though. Of course he does, he’s Thomas and he’s stupid. All Stepney had to do was give one compliment and next thing he knew, Thomas was telling him EVERYTHING about his branch like an eight-year-old telling their parent all about their cool new toy they got (don’t let Mattel hear about this). Stepney calls Thomas an expert once, and away Thomas goes, not only to stroke his own ego a little, but also just because he’s too happy to ramble about his prized branch line (which Percy and Toby clearly think is hilarious, based on the illustration...). He’s a bit like me in that sense; we like to ramble about things no one cares about, but we can’t stop ourselves. Please help me.

One of my favourite parts of this exchange is the following line: “Ah well,” said Thomas modestly.

“Modestly” is the funniest words ever used to describe Thomas the Tank Engine. You and I of course both know that, despite his good heart, he is anything but modest.

Now, there’s something else I’d like to talk about here too. If you’ve read my ramblings before, you know that I cannot type for five seconds without bringing up something else that I didn’t mean to bring up but brought up anyway. I’m silly like that.

If Thomas got mad at Stepney for interrupting his branch line’s timetable once...

...How would he feel about having a whole train that has to do everything in its power to NOT interrupt the usual services?

In notes of Ffarquhar’s layout, the land cruise enthusaist train is noted to be scheduled in-between regular services, and mustn’t disrupt traffic. This is implied to be more difficult than it ought to be, partially because rail enthusiasts are rail enthusiasts and getting them back into the coaches is a miserable experience for the station’s secretary, and partially due to shunting arrangements at Ffarquhar that are absolutely mind-boggling (a document I wrote up of Ffarquhar’s timetable, according to the Awdry DVD, can be found here!).

The moment the Bloomer, or whoever the enthusiasts’ engine happens to be, arrives, he has to square his fancy saloon coaches away to make room for Thomas, Annie and Clarabel’s next down service. So, imagine for me, what happens when Bloomer indulges the enthusiasts’ interest in him at the platform for a little too long, only for Thomas with his grumpy little face to huff into the station yard and start angrily shouting at Bloomer to Get Out Of His Way Or Else The Fat Controller Will Find Out And You Will Regret That.

Now, we of course know little of Bloomer, but I’ve always thought of him not quite as an old grandpa, but rather a showman who takes a lot of pride in his theatrics on a railway filled mainly of engines still in regular service. Bloomer doesn’t get to appear publicly very often, but when he does, he’s going to make it worthwhile. He’s going to bask in the spotlight for as long as he can, impressing everyone who is lucky enough to draw eyes on him, and he’s certainly no pushover. If Bloomer wants to spend time talking to the enthusiasts about his past life (though he has to keep SOME secrets, of course. Part of the act, a bit of mystery is always fun), then he’s going to spend as much time as he can doing just that -- which he always does.

This drives Thomas insane. A WHOLE TRAIN THAT COULD THROW ALL OF HIS TIMETABLE, ALL THAT HE’S WORKED FOR, OUT THE WINDOW SO EASILY? WHAT. The poor guy. He and Bloomer would be the ultimate enemies, egomanaics for different reasons that will forever butt heads while the other Ffarquhar engines would wish they’d just shut up for two seconds.

He cheerfully and dutifully shunts Annie and Clarabel along from the carriage shed... then he sees Bloomer’s ugly mug taking up the platform. “YOU,” Thomas hissed, grounding to a halt, “YOU’RE not supposed to be here.” “Ah,” Bloomer smiled sweetly, “Thomas my boy, I most certainly belong here. It’s part of my act for me to be right here, right now. ‘Tis merely part of my script.” “Right now!?” scoffed Thomas, as Annie and Clarabel chattered quietly behind, “Right now, you and your ugly great houses on wheels are meant to be by the cattle dock! Never mind your ‘act’, my Timetable is much more important! You always talk such nonsense.” “And you always talk ever so much, yet say very little,” mused Bloomer, “A script would do you well, improv is clearly not your strong suit, Thomas my darling. For such a famous little engine, you never seem to respect the life of a shining star. What a waste, what a waste. We Enthusiast Engines have far more than timetables to worry about, boy; we have fans to please.” Thomas wanted to retort, but was interrupted by a shrill, long blast of Bloomer’s whistle. “I hope you all enjoyed the first part of the show!” Bloomer called to his passengers, as he began to back away, “We shall return after our intermission, and I have no doubt you shall all be there to witness the Grand Finale of today’s display! Make sure to be there at 6 o’clock sharp. After all, Time’s Time.” Bloomer winked in Thomas’s direction. Thomas’s face was redder than Bloomer’s paint, and he had practically vanished behind a thick cloud of steam. “What a horrid engine!” he grumbled to Annie and Clarabel when he finally made it to the platform, “He thinks the whole railway revolves about him, and expects everyone to work at HIS pace! The shame of it, the shame of it...” Annie and Clarabel really thought it all rather ironic.

This is all made funnier by the fact that once the enthusiasts’ train leaves Ffarquhar for the junction, it crosses Thomas with Annie and Clarabel going up the line at Elsbridge. Thomas has yet another chance to start bickering with Bloomer, especially when the Ffarquhar secretary likely couldn’t get the stragglers into Bloomer’s coaches in time (and Bloomer of course didn’t help her one bit). Their next rowl shall be exciting stuff for all involved -- except Annie and Clarabel, who have tried reasoning with Thomas the whole time, but haven’t quite been able to get through to their stubborn engine.

Now, realistically, I had planned to do a bit more talking rather than writing a whole scene. However, much like Thomas, improv isn’t my strong suit, and I hadn’t at first planned for this to be a Bloomer discussion, and perhaps this has gone on for long enough. Whoops!

What have we learnt today? Well, personally, I’ve learnt that I probably need to get the hang of writing these posts. This probably hasn’t worked out super well. Those of you who are more familar with this site are probably cringing so hard at me right now, and you’re entirely right to do so. For shame, me, for shame...

Usually, I like to round these off with a nice, poetic conclusion about what we’ve discussed today... but really I didn’t know that this post was going in the direction it went into. I mainly wrote this to get my foot in the door and finally post something of substance here. Apparently my second to most popular post here is talking about how fucking funny Terence the Tractor here. Can we change that please? Terence the Tractor is funny but... I can do better than that...

Well, no, no I can’t.

...

You know, I meant to start using my typing quirks again at the end of the post.

But now we’re here, and it doesn’t feel right for me to start using them.

...

I’m doing an awful job at ending this.

...

Maybe Terence the Tractor IS the best I can do.

Hmm.

[sleepyminty]

If you know, you know

[thegreatyin]

do you think the scoundrel got to hear their own double screaming in agony as its entire body was shifted against its will or were they both, like, Normal About It

[ameliapodcast]

Death Number 3 - find it on Spotify or wherever else you listen to your podcasts and a transcript here!

Emeto-warning for this one, stay safe!

[j4zz4lop3]

Aight I’ve been avoiding this because my cannon keeps changing, I’m gonna do some bits of lore in another post but let’s start off with my version of Talia

First of all, looks, now listen, she’s not a catfish in the traditional sense of the word, she’s exactly who she says she is and the photos she sends are of her…at some point in time, usually she doesn’t have the energy to make herself look good, she’s homeschooled so she doesn’t really have to get ready…what im saying is most of the time she’s a greasy discord mod, by all accounts Stil quite attractive just pretty lazy.

Picrew:

Some things that couldn’t exactly be included cuz it’s a picrew not my drawing:

She does the braid crown thing but only around her hair because it’s not long enough to do what mischa said in this version, basically kinda like this

Eyebags, also she’s insanely pale doesn’t actually get much sun, also a septum piercing which was in the picrew but it melted into her skin color.

Okay so she basically met mischa on youtube like in the musical, they bonded because they were both ukranian immigrants in a foreign country, he lived in canada she, i decided lived in Belgium, her parents both found better jobs there but they couldn’t stay home much, as an only child this meant she was alone at home most of the time and had a lot of time to spend online with her long distance boyfriend, who her mom was pretty sure is fake, something she got very annoyed by.

Sidenote, the “mostly positive feedback” was actually “this sucks ass, but you definitely have potential”

Mischa was texting her before he died, that’s why he has his phone in the afterlife, he texted her “we’re going on a ride now, brb” and then never texted back again, until the end of the day she assumed his phone died or he was just busy having fun and couldn’t text her, but after a couple days she assumed he was ghosting her (technically he was just not in that way lmao) eventually found out he’s dead through people writing rip in his youtube comments.

As a brighter side note she was definitely the “take a look baby he’s the real kaching” in the original version of tsia, Propably edited his videos for him aswell, okay back to dread

After his death talia completely close herself off, she didn’t get much sleep to start with let alone now, eventually about 2 years after the accident she finds an internet article about 5 mysterious people, who were pronounced dead (diff people, as in different peoples bodies choir kid’s souls) being found hiding in the woods, supposedly with a girl named penny lamb, the only survivor of the cyclone accident who had already been missing for over 5 weeks, in a place that was about a 40 minute drive from where she lived, convinced that penny lamb is the only person who she could truly get information about the accident from, she goes off to search for her, which is how she becomes a part of the story.

Now, if you want more actual lore bits they’re coming soon, i promise, but this is how my version of talia is so far

Do you guys want a full post on my headcannon version of talia/my weird au where they’re all brought back to life by penny through dark magic and they’re haunted by demons for it?