#racists aren't hot king

[ficretus]

Harem King Championship

Sun: Good evening Guys, Gals and Non Binary Pals. This is annual Harem King Championship. I'm your host, Sun Wukong, part time Huntsman, full time rizzler.

Neptune: And joining him is me, Neptune Vasilias. N of team SSSN, but N of "Not getting a partner."

Sun: It's good to be in Vacuo. Atmosphere is hot and nominees even hotter.

Neptune: So let's introduce them.

Sun: Nominee number 1. You may know him as J from JNPR, but he is so much more. Jovial jock with jaw dropping junk making you jealous cause ya know your lady is gonna join him... Jaune Arc.

*applause*

Jaune: Thank you Vacuo.

Neptune: Nominee number 2. *whispers* Sun, paper just says racist asshole.

Sun: Dude, improvise.

Neptune: *clears throat* Bad boy of Beacon. Watch out for your girl, cause ears aren't only things he likes to pull. Master of cucking, Cardin Winchester.

*crickets*

Sun: Nominee number 3. She has a cold heart, but her caress will melt you. Every maiden will be hers. Don't think, just obey her... Cinder Fall.

*applause*

Cardin: Aw come on, she is literally a terrorist.

Cinder: You'd be surprised how far can being hot carry you.

Neptune: And finally, nominee number 4. This kitty has claws, and mice aren't the only things she is hunting. If you ever join her harem you'll never be left out cause clones are name of her game. On a hunt for title is... Blake Belladonna.

*applause*

Blake: This is for all Faunus Remnant wide.

Sun: Now that we know contestants, it's time to introduce the jury.

Neptune: As much as I'd like to check out some ladies, we have experts for that.

Sun: Jury member number 1. This hunky dad is more than it meets the eye. Partners are temporary, rizz is eternal, Taiyang Xiao Long.

Neptune: Jury member number 2. Some say he has gone through puberty while he was fetus. He has been bagging waitresses for longer than some of us have been alive, Qrow Branwen.

Sun: And finally... jury member number 3.

Neptune: All time record holder of Harem King Championship. She conquered men, women, Grimm and Kingdoms. Let's have a warm welcome for... Salem.

Sun: Wait, really?

Neptune: It's not like we can kick her out.

Tai: Didn't you kill my wife?

Qrow: Yeah, what the hell.

Salem: Let's keep it professional.

Sun: And now a commercial break.

*in Cinder's camp*

Cinder: Oh I can hardly wait to crush them all.

Mercury: Why am I even here?

Cinder: Because Emerald decided saving the world is more important than my special night.

Mercury: It's just a silly Harem competition.

Cinder: Watch your mouth Mercury. This is not just a silly competition, it's a game of life. If I can't rule as Harem queen, then what chance do I have to claim all Maiden powers. I will have this crown and I will take everything.

*in Jaune's camp*

Nora: You got this Fearless Leader, kick their ass.

Ren: Don't be nervous Jaune, odds are still stacked in our favor.

Jaune: Thanks guys. Can't believe I'm to favorite to win it all. This could be my moment, finally accomplish something and beat Cinder.

*in Blake's camp*

Yang: Jaune seems to be the main favorite to win it.

Blake: Oh don't worry, it's all under control.

Neptune: And now jury will rate our contestants.

Sun: Each jury member will give a rating from 1 to 5. Winner will be the person with highest number of points.

Neptune: Let's get ready to rizzleeeee.

Sun: First to be rated will be Jauneee.

Tai: I give him 4. He has that timeless look, muscular blonde with blue eyes. I could easily see him seduce at least 2 partners with that look. Just stay away from my daughters... and stay away from shapeshifting raven haired femme fatales...

Qrow: Ok Tai, let us continu...

Tai: Trust me, sex might be good but divorce makes it not worth it.

Yang: Could you stop!

Qrow: Sigh... Ok, I give Jaune 3. Look is important, but kid, you lack confidence. You need to work on your game. I'd say your Bi appeal is also kind of weak. It might be controversial, but I'd say true harem king can seduce partners of all genders.

Tai: Was that necessary?

Qrow: What, you can talk about banging my sister live but I can't mention some gay experimentation?

Salem: Men are utterly hopeless. Arc, I give you 4 as well. Your appearance is impeccable for the role and your approach is refreshing. However, you remind me of certain someone, so that lowers overall rating.

Neptune: That gives Jaune Arc final score of 11.

Sun: Not bad, not bad. Let's see can next contestant, Cardin top this score.

Tai: Cardin eh. I give 2, and that's mostly because of appearance. I don't like you and I don't like your approach. Also get a job, NTR fics are not funny.

Qrow: I give him 3. Being a bad boy is not... bad. You've got guts, but if you wanna ask a girl out just do it, don't act like a brat. Your Bi appeal could do some work. And fuck what everyone says, cucking is positive trait for Harem king.

Tai: Qrow!

Salem: Shush now. I give Winchester boy 3. Such a contrast between appearance and behavior. Knight should not act like that, yet in some regards that makes him more attractive.

Neptune: Cardin takes second place with 8 points.

Sun: Oof, I guess he really peaked in high school.

Cardin: Behind Jauney Boy, aw come on.

Neptune: And now one of the favorites, Cinder Fall.

Tai: 5!

Qrow: She tried to kill you daughter multiple times.

Tai: Sigh... 4. Too many red flags.

Qrow: I give her 5.

Tai: And you gave me shit for rating her 5.

Qrow: Hey, I'm being objective here. Look, I don't like her, but she is smoking hot, she has domineering attitude and can seduce you in five seconds no matter who and what you are.

Mercury: Well, it looks like you are getting your little trophy after all.

Cinder: Of course, did you really think I'd finish behind likes of Arc?

Salem: Oh Cinder, such a deceptive case. On the surface you possess all qualities of true Harem queen. Less informed individual might even think you are worthy successor to my legacy... but you are not.

Mercury: Uh oh.

Cinder: Shut up.

Salem: No true harem queen has a diary beneath her pillow, hoping for a dashing Prince to marry her. No true harem queen hugs aforementioned pillow and pretends its her Prince. No true...

Cinder: Stop, stop, stop.

Salem: My, my, fine then. I give her 2. Have to cut her some slack.

Cinder: 2?!

Mercury: *giggles* You are tied with Jaune now.

Cinder: Are you kidding me?!

Sun: Well, joke or not, that's 11 points.

Neptune: We have a tie for first place now.

Cinder: Mercury! Find the tiebreaker rules.

Mercury: Screw you, this is too funny.

Jaune: We are tied with Cinder.

Nora: I'll check the tiebreaker rules.

Ren: What about Blake?

Nora: What about her? *snorts* It's not like Fearless Leader is ever gonna lose to her.

*five minutes later*

Nora: Stop the count, stop the count!

Jaune: How did she whoop our ass this hard? This makes no sense!

Cinder: Ha ha, you lost!

Cardin: Nice one Jauney Boy.

Jaune: You lost as well!

Cinder: Unlike you I don't care about this stupid competition.

Mercury: Cinder you are literally crying.

Cinder: *sniffles* Shut up.

Jaune: But hold on, how did I lose this?

Blake: Because I'm the true Harem protagonist of this show.

Jaune: That can't be. I have... Pyrrha and.... That can't be.... What about Mantle moms?

Blake: Can you name any of them?

Jaune: Of course I can. Ca...

Blake: Without fanon or headcanons.

Jaune: Shit...

Blake: See, told you.

Jaune: But wait, that just means I don't have a harem. What about you?

Blake: Yang, Ilia, Sun, Adam and probably half a dozen off screen simps. Face it Jaune, I'm a genderbent Kirito with cat ears.

Sun: And with this, Blake Belladonna is crowned as a Harem queen of Remnant.

Blake: Thank you Vacuo, thank you Remnant. I dedicate this victory to all Faunus Remnant wide. For far too long have we been reduced to secondary harem members, mere fetish fuel. But now, we rule, we too can be Harem rulers.

Cinder: Fuck this.

Mercury: Where are you going?

Cinder: I'm in need of alcohol and large huggable pillow.

Ren: There is always the next year Jaune.

Jaune: Screw this, I'm getting a black coat and katana... and a gun.

*later that night*

Yang: Can't believe I'm dating Remnant's Harem queen.

Blake: *giggles* I was always a Harem queen. Did you pick up the money?

Yang: I did. If you knew you were gonna win it, then what was the point of the plan?

Blake: To inflate betting odds in Jaune's favor. That made me a dark horse...

Yang: More like... dark cat.

Blake: Aw you. That made me a dark cat of the competition, which allowed me to win ridiculous amount of money by betting on myself.

Yang: Still, was that money really worth writing 500 Jaune harem fics?

Blake: Of course it was. Besides, I didn't really write them. I just changed the name of the protagonist of my existing harem fics to Jaune.... 500 times.

Yang: So devious.

Blake: Indeed. Now kneel before your Harem queen.

[berryzxx]

🌸𝓘𝓷𝓽𝓻𝓸 𝓹𝓸𝓼𝓽🌸

🎀 𝒽𝒾𝒾 𝓌𝑒𝓁𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝓎 𝒷𝓁𝑜𝑔. 𝐻𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒶 𝓈𝓉𝓇𝒶𝓌𝒷𝑒𝓇𝓇𝓎 𝓌𝒽𝒾𝓁𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊'𝓇𝑒 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 🍓 𝑜𝓇 𝓉𝓌𝑜 🍓🍓

writing blog: @berryz-writes

-> MasterList <-

🎀 About me:

pronouns: she/her, I'm extremely competitive, I devour books, I love looping the same song over and over until i'm sick of it, I think i'm funny :), I will be mean sometimes but that's how I show my love, If you don't like strawberries we're enemies, I live for Badminton and dodgeball, I talk a lot...like a lot and extremely loudly, I can't stand bs esp if its about my friends, when i obsesses over something I OBSSESS like I none stop talk about it, also feel free to message me lovelies <33

☆ 𝐵𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈: ACOTAR, HP, TIG, ASOUE, six of crows, king of scars, twisted series, kings of sin series, the kite runner, OUABH, PJO, fourth wing, Shatter me, I can't think of anymore rn

☆𝒞𝓊𝓇𝓇𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝒻𝒶𝓋𝑜𝓊𝓇𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝒷𝑜𝑜𝓀: Once upon a broken heart. Yall Jacks and Eva are literally <3333

☆𝒞𝓊𝓇𝓇𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓁𝓎 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔: Physics book :( buuttt i want to read Powerless soon

☆𝐹𝒶𝓋𝑜𝓊𝓇𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝒯𝓋 𝒮𝑒𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓈/𝑀𝑜𝓋𝒾𝑒𝓈: ASOUE, greenhouse academy, vampire diaries, mean girls, dubai bling, purple hearts, never have i ever, anne with an e, alexa and katie, no good nick, TSIP, Sen cal Kapimi, Aşk Laftan Anlamaz, ever after high, mlp, Tangled, Barbie princess charm school, zombies, enola holmes

☆𝒞𝓊𝓇𝓇𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝑜𝒷��𝑒𝓈𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃: MAZE RUNNERRRRR . Also Eris Vanserra and Nesta Archeron. Also Fawad Khan. Omg he's so hot help

☆𝐹𝒶𝓋𝑜𝓊𝓇𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝒶𝓇𝓉𝒾𝓈𝓉𝓈: AP Dhillon, Chase Atlantic, Sabrina Carpenter, Olivia Rodrigo, The Weeknd, Atif Aslam, Taylor Swift, Xana, Badshah, Maher Zain, Avvy Sra, Arijit Singh, Imran khan, Mitraz

☆𝐹𝒶𝓋𝑜𝓊𝓇𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝓈𝑜𝓃𝑔𝓈: Monster by Xana, Swim by Chase Atlantic, Wildest dreams by Taylor Swift, Abhi tho party shuru hoi hai by Badshah, Espresso by Sabrina Carpenter, Summer high by AP Dhillon, Die for you by The Weeknd, Tum hi ho by Arijit Singh, So high school by Taylor Swift

☆𝒞𝓊𝓇𝓇𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓁𝓎 𝑜𝒷𝓈𝑒𝓈𝓈𝑒𝒹 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽:

❕Click for Palestine ❕one click generates donations from sponsors. Donations go to UNRWA to assist Palestinian refugees.

𝒟𝒩𝐼: Zionist, Racist, Misogynistic, someone who spreads hate for no reason respectfully fuck off,

Note: I love my moots and followers, we're best friends now sorry <3

Personal tags: #Berryrambles- literally me rambling/yapping

#Berryposts- posts that aren't random

#Berryreplies- ask replies

🌸lovely dividers by @cafekitsune

🌸Strawberry dividers by @plum98

[thepoisonroom]

i don't know who needs to hear this but g*na r*driguez is constantly doing and saying gross antiblack shit and we shouldn't forget this just because she played gay one time!!!

[yourbitchystudentartist]

I love how you just completely disregarded anyone POC who ships clone shipping or any other 'problematic ships' you claim to be 'problematic'. (for your little POC discord server/safe haven thing). Hehe heh. You basically just discriminated against POC (and YES, POC can discriminate against POC, dipshit), or you are just a picky son of a bitch. You cannot choose. You have to accept all black people or POC. Wtf is wrong with you? If you can't accept all POC, then you aren't a true POC. You are a fucking dictator, not a savior, a messiah, or a peacekeeper like Martin Luther King. You think you saved something or you are starting a perfect movement, but you didn't. You are delusional. You truly discriminated against your own people. Hope you feel real proud. (What will that show the young generation of black kids? Absolutely nothing! Discriminate against, bully, and kill your own people). You are a bad influence on young black kids.

Suggestion: What you could've done differently is just... Ya know, told all black people who do these things and enjoy these things to just not bring it into your server but they can still join. Ya know? That's not completely alienating at least half of them! And it's funny how you allow a FANTASY tv show to cause you to alienate real people. Real POC! Yo, do you know how bad that makes you look? Omg, like, honestly XD you are crazy. A fucking wacko. A lunatic. Probably should go to an asylum. Might get someone killed.

Let this sink in for a second: I am a POC. A young woman. And I saw your post for the server and I felt, "Oh wow! A safe place for me filled with black people! Maybe I can make friends and feel welcomed." And BAM! You fucking wacked me upside the head with a white sign saying: 'Do not enter if you ship or do such and such and such.' And impossiy long list of hot shit. That literally ruined it. The whole happy, joyous feeling. You completely destroyed it! It's like when the white people hung signs over water fountains and said, 'Whites only' 'Colored only' IT WAS LITERALLY that EXACT same feeling! Dread. Hate. Sadness. And self doubt.

Fucking fuck, you are a disgrace. Exactly like all the racist white people who discriminated against us black people for centuries. You fucking discriminating hypocrite. I hope you feel proud, honestly. I hope that little action of yours makes you feel good because one day, black people are gonna see who you really are, discriminating against your own people or not accepting of ALL black people regardless of what they like or do for entertainment. You wanna know how I, and hundreds of others like us, are different from you: we know and are aware of one fact only: we are ALL POC no matter what. Unlike you, I guess you don't accept all black people. Have a nice day, trash can.

MLK said "I have a dream that pro shippers and antis will not be judged by the content of their blog but by the content of their character" (thottybrucewayne, 2021)

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading every article in my twitter likes part 5

[part one] [part two] [part three] [part four]

ah jeez I'm really gonna get to number 100 today aren't I

article 91: "Femme Fatale" by Zoe Whittall at Harper's Bazaar. an interrogative and self-aware piece about the meaning of the word "femme" as an identity and adjective, and what it means when different people use it.

article 92: "A Mexican Saint of Death Helped Guide Me Back to Life" by Mey Rude at BuzzFeed. a lovely little personal essay about one trans Latina finding a love of life through Santa Muerte, the saint of death.

article 93: "To Georgia Nicolson and All The Normie Girls of YA" by Ashley Reese at Jezebel. a fond little eulogy for author Louise Rennison's books and a seemingly bygone era of young adult literature.

article 94: "Navigating vaginismus when sex before marriage is taboo in your culture" by Sarah N at gal-dem. delighted as always to see vaginismus being talked about, frustrated as ever to see the colluding factors making it difficult for someone to receive proper medical treatment.

article 95: "In Our Fashion: Your Uncanny Guide to the Cosmos’s Best SFF Couture" by Lynne M. Thomas at the Mary Sue. straight up this is just a list of SFF fiction with cool clothing details and I am disappointed.

article 96: an article that feels relevant to my earlier anon, "When You Have Crohn's But Love to Take it in the Ass" by Rax King at MEL. spoiler alert: it's totally fine!

article 97: Ashley Reese at Jezebel again with a truly hard-hitting story: "Dev Patel Hasn't Forgotten Being Called the 'Ugly' Character on Skins." surprise surprise: being a highly scrutinized teenager actor with a racist fanbase that called you ugly and unlikeable takes a toll on you. who'd have thought! (criticism aimed, obviously, at the people who talked about a child like that, not Ashley Reese or the reporter she quotes.)

article 98: "The Parallel-Parking Job That Ignited the Internet" by P.E. Moskowitz at Curbed. I do think it's also important to share the blurb Moskowitz attached when sharing this article on Twitter, which is this: "hi i reached out to the people who told me i deserved to be in jail for parallel parking and interviewed them. and discovered the internet had made us all insane." having now read this article and learned about a 40 year old who saw a tight parallel parking job and was reminded of being raised by a malignant narcissist, I am now forced to agree.

article 99: "I Hate Horses" by T Kira Madden at Refinery29. I'm not horse girl, but this a surprisingly beautiful piece about the brutality of loving horses.

article 100, I am delighted to announce, is "The Inevitable 'Why People Think King Shark is Hot' Thinkpiece" by Kayleigh Donaldson at /Film. you all already know that the The Suicide Squad King Shark is not my personal favorite flavor of King Shark, but Donaldson is right on all counts about why monsterfuckers stay winning.

for the curious: at this point in my backwards trek through my likes we are very nearly finished with August 2021. kink at pride hot takes will be on us before we know it!

[papirouge]

it's nice to see someone who is both prolife but also doesn't constantly let men walk over herself. i've had so much trouble finding likeminded people on this website. most 'tradwomen' end up having good values, but also never criticize any of the men at all.

i'll see someone write a post about how sex trafficking and p*rn are bad, and then the guy she reblogged it from is a "catholic" but talks about how he'd date anywhere between literally 10 years younger than him and 2 years older than him. on posts about pro-life stuff these guys will put the blame entirely on the woman, as if men don't need to impregnate women in the first place for there to be any pregnancy at all. and there's soooo many guys who are just straight up racist or obsessed with pretending they're some kind of Roman king or Aryan guy, or whatever, and no one ever criticizes them because they act like these guys are truly "faithful".

i'll see women talk about wanting a provider, someone who is kind to them, someone to take care of and love, someone to make food for, etc and tradmen will talk about wanting someone who wears x or y, she has to be pretty, she has to have their babies, etc. they never talk about what they can do for her.

I'm glad you enjoy my take anon :) I'll always defend tradfem against radfem harassment and male fetishists BUT they indeed aren't free from inconsistent or hypocrisy

I already stated 99% of tradmen on this hellsite were wicked. They're so disgusting and it's soooo obvious they use the trad brand to excuse their predatory tendencies and fetishism... Why the heck are they reblogging only hot women and not....male role models? They're unsurprisingly misogynist too and yes, they'll always find a way to blame women. Either we have no standards and that's how we end up with bums/single mothers and don't deserve compassion, OR we have too high standards and we are materialistic and greedy... An advice anon: NEVER listen to a single male whining about women with high standards bc he's most likely a bum himself. That's for his own benefit to pressure women into lowering their standards. See how hard they went against FDS? NOW you know why.

My take about the whole Aryan King lane is that it helps them cope with their own mediocrity. "at least I'm not a low IQ nigger🤪" they say from their parents' home basement with a 100k student debt, no job, overweight, no social life and under antidepressants prescription. That's also why they're pissy at race mixing: they hate to see their Aryan queens waste their breedablity with other (inferior) races It makes them soooo pissy lmao

Here's that tradman weirdo I often see lurking onto tradfem notes. This was on a comment about a demented pro choicers ironically stating pro lifers wouldn't bear seeing their daughter having a kid with a Black man and dude just had to shoehorn his pathological racism:

See this clownery ? Interracial is "wrong" now? On what standards? Christians? Does this fake Christian know that the Apostle Timothy was mixed (Jew and Greek)?? See? That's one of the things that irks me the most with Christians these days: it's always those with the LEAST knowledge, who are always out there opening their mouth to say obvious profanities and biblical inacurracies.

The blinds are leading the blinds. We are truly on the end times....

Your last paragraph sums it up. I made a bunch of posts (tagged #tradmen) where I call out the total unbalance between tradmen and tradfem content. It wouldn't be so weird if tradfem themselves didn't see any problem with it and keep doing the most about male, when in return they keep paying them dust..... Embarassing.

..IDK maybe deranged radfem are right to clown them for being delusional and male identified :/

[mobtism]

Please read my "Do Not Follow" list and my "Please Tag" list before following!

DO NOT FOLLOW: if you are bigoted or a general shithead. No racists. No transphobes. No pedos, no “pro-ships," no MAPS. No ableists. and No exclusionists allowed. Do NOT follow if you think that fiction doesn't affect reality.

PLEASE TAG:

Repetition, Disease/Sickness, Contamination, Covid and Monkeypox, Being watched/monitored (Surveillance cw), Body harm

Please tag them as either “nick dont look” or “example cw". If you have any questions, feel free to message me or send an ask!

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CLICK HERE FOR MY FULL ABOUT‼️

Accessible version below:

Icon ID: Official art of Reki from Sk8 the Infinity with facepaint similar to Shadow's. He's sticking his tongue out in a silly "rocker" way, and he has one of his hands up in the "rock on" gesture. End ID.

Hi I'm Nick! I'm 19 years old. I talk a lot and post my thoughts often. Music is my special interest.

My current interests are: Mob Psycho 100, Sk8 the Infinity, Fire Force, Soul Eater, Naruto, Dragon Ball, Ace Attorney, and Pokémon.

My favorite things are wizards, pirates, snow & winter, the colors red, yellow, and light neon blue, dogs, bug type Pokémon, and bright colors and lights (as long as they aren't flashing!). I also really love my friends!

I aim to find careers in pyrotechnics, voice acting, and music!

ID: Screenshots of @skylightz pronoun page.

Profile picture is a round icon of Tashiro Gonzaborou, an anime character with dyed yellow hair which has grown out to show his brown roots, green eyes, and wearing a green jacket. He's smiling, and pointing up towards him. The background behind him is a light yellow, and there's a little red star next to his finger.

The description says, "if you refer to me by my neos im kissing you on the mouth. if you dont? well... good luck charlie [starts beating u up]" Age 19.

Flags shown are: Autigender, Nonbinary, Transgender, Bisexual, Ace-Spec, and Gender Avoidant.

The flag for Ace-Spec was added in by the user, and instead shows a png of a box of Dean's Country Fresh Christmas Trees ice cream. The Gender Avoidant flag was also added in, and shows two cartoonish human-shaped silhouettes, lined white on a black background. The one on the left is fully scribbled in white, and is labeled "gender 100%". The figure on the right is not filled in, but has "0% gender" and "Me!" labeled on it in red.

Names column:

Favorite: Nick, Holly, and Any Nicknames!!

Close friends only: Nicholas

Likes: Hollis or Apollo

Pronouns column:

Favorite: vi/vis and star/stars

Likes: he/him and they/them

Dislikes: she/her

The next screenshot shows four lists of words that shows skylightz comfortability with each word.

First list shows:

Favorite: Myst., Mr., sir, and [no honorific]

Likes: Mx. and comrade

Joke use only: Madam, Ma'am, Ms.

Dislikes: sai, mir, shazam, zam

Second list:

Favorite: Guy, man, dude, bestie, buddy, pal, bro, king

Likes: Person

Dislikes: sib, boy, woman, lady, girl, sis, queen

Third list:

Favorite: Pretty, handsome, hot, queer

Likes: Cute, fruit/fruity, gayass

Close friends only: F slur

Joke only: sexy

Fourth list:

Favorite: Partner, boyfriend, husband, beloved

Likes: Joyfriend, friend

Close friends only: Darling

Dislikes: Wife, kissmate, girlfriend, boo. End ID.

[argisthebulwark]

I saw that you'd maybe write something for ulfric too and it really got my hopes up. Lately I'm having it for this dude but I have absolutely no idea what to request so far, if it's not too much could I maybe get some headcanons? (like relationship stuff or something)

gotta preface it with -i think ulfric's a shitty man. he sucks. i had Feelings over him once because edgy enemies to lovers phase but he's still a racist dude and i would fight him on sight.

the only romantic situation i've ever felt for ulfric is ldb being an assassin sent to kill him and unfortunately falling in love with him. like they show up in the palace of the kings, ready to just get his ass but they paused and had the oh no he's hot moment.

i love to imagine the dragonborn undercutting his authority in front of like galmar or his officers. ulfric is trying to have a legitimate war related meeting and the dragonborn is draped over his throne in the signature Slutty Jarl Pose and interrupts him to suggest that 'maybe you just stop?' he cringes but the dragonborn knows he won't do anything to them.

ulfric being forced to admit his feelings for the dragonborn with their dagger pressed to his throat. he's pissed that he has to admit it but they're staring at him and he knows they'll kill him. he spits the words at them like they're poisonous, his voice deep with rage and the dragonborn is left stunned.

the dragonborn dragging ulfric to high hrothgar because they refuse to participate in his war. during the peace meeting, every time the dragonborn gives something to the imperials ulfric is shocked. he knew they actively worked against him in the war, but he'd expected at least some favoritism.

he could be romantic but only in a very private way. i feel like ulfric probably has some fucked up issues with masculinity or vulnerability, like he hates being seen as soft around the dragonborn even by his closest officers. he would speak so softly in private, listening to their tales from their travels and telling his own. he'd try to give them gifts but they're always things he would like himself - calling the dragonborn the lady/lord of eastmarch with so much grandeur, expecting them to love it and getting "i'm from the rift, not eastmarch."

he'd envisioned them as this power couple, both users of the Voice, but when they aren't swayed to his side of the war he'd be disappointed. the dragonborn had no intentions of working with him. they would fall into bed beside him and he'd have a hundred arguments prepared - but they don't speak, just placing their head on his chest and falling asleep.

[sebastianshaw]

Meme from "Broad City" quotes

“You said if you were ever going to do same sex experimentation, it was going to be with me.”

"Who would you rather go down on you? Michael Bublé or Janet Jackson?”

“Can Janet Jackson go down on me while Michael Bublé narrates it in song?”

“What’s an Arch de Triumph?”

“It’s when two dudes go down on us, is how I picture it, and they’re butt to butt and then you and I do Oprah hands.”

“I really don’t feel like going into work today.”

"Great, I’ll see you in 30 days then. . . biiiiitch.”

“Maybe your dad should have pulled out.”

“I need someone for the amazing race because my mom just pulled out.”

“I also have business with the bank. I’d like to cash these nickels, and I’ll have them in quarters, please. Thank you so much.”

“I’m a sexual X-Man. I’m Wolverine. I’m Vulvarine!”

"Oh my Lady God, thank you!"

“The vagina is nature’s pocket. It’s natural and responsible.”

“I would take you on my shoulders – like I’d strap you up and be like, ‘Let’s go through helllll.’”

“I’m not sexually aroused, I’m fiscally aroused.”

“That’s literally a one stop pussy shop. I love it!”

“I finally figured out my eyebrows, They’re sisters, not twins.”

“Four R’s, my friend-- Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Rihanna.”

“Statistically we’re headed toward an age where everybody’s going to be, like, caramel and queer.”

“I’m an adult and I’m responsible. Let’s go get some candy.”

“I finally masturbated above the covers without my eyes being closed.”

“I just want to get home and watch my shows.”

"You just pulled a bag of pot out of your vagina."

"Do you ever get hair from your head stuck in your buttcrack in the shower?"

"I'm still not over Amy Winehouse."

"I can't really imagine what it's like for people with blue eyes."

"This isn't a sugar daddy thing. This is just an old established guy paying for his younger friend who he also has sex with kind of thing."

"You're like 12, right?"

"I love me some dumplings. It's like a squirrel clutch with a meatball in it."

"I was so worried I baked a whole cake and then I ate a whole cake."

"In da clerb, we all fam."

"I know you from your ass better than I know your face."

"I respect you respecting me."

"You know what's cool about this party? We're the sexiest girls here."

"I'll pick up your poop. You're worth it."

"This is what living on the edge looks like."

"You got beauty. You got brains. You're a fucking genius. Do you wanna kiss?"

"You look sexy and vivacious and artsy and, like, young-wife material but, like, taut and teasy still. It's a perfect combo."

“Witches aren’t monsters, they’re just women! They’re fucking women who cum and giggle and play in the night. And that’s why everybody wants to set them on fire ‘cause they’re so fucking jealous."

"YAS KWEEN!"

“I AM NOT A MOM!”

"You never know if you never try and if you never try you never know."

“I’m only 27, what am I? A child bride?”

"You have been busting my balls all day over a sahaaaandwich shahooppe?!"

"I don’t watch anything but solo porn because regular porn is like, “Shut up, little girl! Wash my feet!” And she’s like "uhhh don’t tell my dad ok? Because I’m just barely legal. I love shaved pubes and tanned, crispy bellies and taints.” It’s like ugh!"

"I don’t have any money. I’m a wittle baby."

“Buckle up, buttercup”

"Money is a mind control technique that used to quantify the progress of the patriarchy!"

"Nose, vagina, butthole. If God didn’t want us to put our fingers up then then why did She make them perfectly finger sized ?"

"I’ll see you when u wake up, and if you don’t wake up I’ll still see you cause I’m gonna kill myself and meet you in heaven or whatever.”

"If you train your eyes, you can see their religion”

“I know it’s like “pwease Mr. Cwusty old white man, can I pwease keep my ovaries?” Alright bitch you better vote, text me when you do”

“I mean we had been together how long, and I still never saw nipples?”

“OOPS I guess I don’t know my own strength”

“Pillows are nature’s packing peanuts!”

“The student has become the teacher!”

"This is some high class shit."

"It's 2014. Anal is on the menu."

"Where ISN'T the bathroom?"

"I was cyberbullied within an INCH of my life last night"

“I saw your tweets and I wanted to check you out but I also wanted to respect your space”

"I am going to respect your dick later."

“You’re my lil cupcake”

“I once ate a corn on the cob. Including the cob”

"Ugh, who YELLS?"

"GET OFF THE BALLS AND GO!"

"Wanna get, like, a bunch of hot dogs?"

"Did you draw that painting?"

“You have to swipe yaas, you can’t swipe naas.”

“I fucked you in the ASS the first night we did ANYTHING. I think that’s pretty fuckin mature."

"Well aren't you a hot diggity dog and a scalawag to boot?"

"In the club, we are all family. Are you racist?"

“Welcome to Florida, America’s droopy dick”

"This is the men's room. Uh DOIIII!"

“You’re so full of shit I need a plunger."

“Thank you SO much for calling me a star”

"I'm an adult. I should be buying my own pot."

"Coat racks AREN'T for babies!"

"My biggest weakness is that I lose my purse a lot. But my biggest strength is that I always get it back."

"I like to call it jazz becomes it comes out of my horn, and you never know where it's gunna go."

"White people do that dog thing. Black people don't make out with dogs."

"Next thing you know you're pregnant with his sperm and he's sanding down your headboard shirtless."

"We are garbage people living on garbage island!"

"I didn't know you had a veneer and I'm in that mouth on a regular basis."

"I'm not putting weed up inside of me because I'm an adult and I'm responsible."

"I really think you should put your weed in your front hole."

“We’re technically homeless right now.”

"Your ass looks incredible."

"Your ass looks incredible. Your head and body too. But we all know who’s the star of the show here.”

“Who am I? Honey, I have a cyst on my uterus and I need to get fucked until it pops.”

“You want me to FaceTime from the bathroom?”

“Dude, I would follow you into hell, brother!”

“Well, you are funny.”

"Animated movies are where it's at. They're like visual crack."

"All Hollywood media is porn, and all porn is kiddie porn. We live in a rape culture. We just do."

"Who would leave weed in a wall? A weed genius. And she'd leave it there indefinitely in case of emergency."

"Isn't it nuts that pickles were cucumbers? They're the trans people of the vegetable community."

"We are an incredible team and I love you."

"Smart and sexy. She is unreal, this girl."

"I've been overeating this week."

"How DARE you LIE to your WIFE?!"

"Do I or do I not have herpes?"

"Follow your third eye--your clit."

"It's my birthday, I'M KING OF THE WORLD!"

"I mean, the female form---God's hottest creation."

"You have to respect the sanctity of the RSVP."

"Okay, something seems very locked up inside of you."

"You have a way of tainting everything I love."

"I'm gonna be like a successful artist any day now."

"Yeah, I don't wanna rise and grind anymore. I wanna rise and then like lay back down."

"It's like we knew it would happen but we didn't do anything about it."

"ADRENALINE!"

"To be honest, I'm really happy with the way I look."

"WANNA FOOK?"

"Never have I ever read a newspaper."

"This is what living on the edge looks like."

[emperorsfoot]

Keldor and/or Malkyn and/or Stinkor and/or Danger Noodle: ☮ ♥ ♒ (friendship, family, cooking/food)

Keldor

☮ - friendships : prior to becoming Skeletor, I headcanon that Keldor was friends with almost all of his Evil Warriors. But his best friends were Beastman and Trap Jaw. It's canon that Beastman was the first to follow Keldor, so they've known each other the longest. Trap Jaw (as of the 2002 reboot) was retconned into a Gar, Keldor's same species. But Keldor was raised among humans, so Trap Jaw would have been one of the first (if not the first) other Gar Keldor ever met. Together the three of them form the "disaster trio" trope.

♥ - family : canonically, Keldor is the son of King/Captain Miro and the brother of Randor, this also makes him the uncle of Adam and Adora. He doesn't keep in touch with any of them. Keldor is the bitter uncle who was chased out of the family by his racist dad and has built a family of his own out of his friends. Beastman and Trap Jaw are his brothers now. He also, canonically, has a kid with Evil-Lyn, and I like to think before he became Skeletor, he was a good dad. Whenever dealing with his son, Keldor would ask himself "what would Miro do?" then do the exact opposite of whatever it was. In this way, he became a pretty decent father.

♒ - cooking/food : Keldor either grew up the son of a soldier and learned "battlefield cooking" or else grew up a prince and never learned to cook at all (he had people to do that for him). As such, Keldor is a terrible cook. Not even Beastman's menagerie of creatures will eat his cooking. Two Bad tossed a plate of his cooking into the lava of Snake Mountain once and it turned into a monster.

Malkyn (Skeleteen)

☮ - friendships : growing up as "the Son of Skeletor" literally the only people he had means and opportunity to make friends with were the children or apprentices of other Evil Warriors. His best friends are Trap Jaw II and Tri-Klops II. He used to be very close with Odar, Stinkor's son, until they hit puberty and Odar started to develop the same stink as his father and it became impossible to hang out in person. They still talk over coms and play co-op mode of video games. But they're not as close as they used to be. Once he meets Dare and his generation of Masters of the Universe, Skeleteen is willing to make friends, but people from the Light Hemisphere are so different from the Dark Hemisphere, sometimes its like they're not even speaking the same language and forging friendships is hard and slow.

♥ - family : when asked, Skeleteen will answer that his "family" is Evil-Lyn and Skeletor, his biological parents. What he doesn't say out loud is that they are just his biological parents. His "real" family are his friends whom he views and loves as siblings, and Beastman and Trap Jaw whom he views as surrogate parents. Growing up, Beastman was always the one to take care of his skinned knees, brought him soup when he was sick, pestered him to wear socks, and was just generally a mom. Trap Jaw kept a bit more distance, not wanting to infringe on Evil-Lyn's territory, or disrespect Keldor's memory somehow. But he did teach Skeleteen weapons combat and how to fight dirty. He also taught Skeleteen every bad word he knows.

♒ - cooking/food : Skeleteen does not cook. But he eats a lot of hot-chips and orange soda.

Stinkor

☮ - friendships : it's been hard for Stinkor to form friendships ever since he was mutated. He tries. But most people aren't willing to meet him half way. Skeletor likes having him around because he's useful against the Masters, but that's not the same as having friends. He eventually makes friends with Faker. Since Faker is a robot, he can just turn off his smell receptors at will. Hanging out with Stinkor is easy for him. Everyone else has to wear a breathing mask or use some similar adaptation to spend time with him.

♥ - family : canonically, Stinkor's parents disowned him years before he was mutated into Stinkor, and he's not really close enough with any of the Evil Warriors to consider them a surrogate family. But, he does also have a son in the Dare|He-ro II time period, so we know he found someone who could stand his smell at some point. I headcanon her as being a Qadian, not the same species as Stinkor, but also a furry-type non-human. But more importantly, she has congenial anosmia and cannot smell. At all. So she's unaffected and unbothered by his stink. They go out and she's into him and likes the way he treats her and they eventually get married and have Odar. At first it seems like Odar did not inherit Stinkor's smell mutation. Until Odar hits puberty and the smell starts to develop and everyone realizes that Stinkor's freak mutation is now a genetically inheritable trait.

♒ - cooking/food : Stinkor would be a good cook if his smell didn't taint the food. Whiplash threw some of Stinkor's cooking into the lava of Snake Mountain, and it became another monster.

Danger Noodle (Trap Jaw II)

☮ - friendships : Noodle's best friend is Skeleteen. They tell each other everything. Noodle knows Skeleteen's mixed feelings about his father, and that he secretly resents his mother, and Skeleteen knows that every embarrassing thing Noodle did or thought since forever. When Noodle was younger, he didn't realize he was adopted. Since he had a prosthetic jaw, and Trap Jaw had a prosthetic jaw, he just assumed all boys in their family had prosthetic jaws. Never mind the fact that Noodle is a Snakeman and Trap Jaw is a Gar. Its all about the prosthetic jaws! That's how you know someone's your dad! Eventually he figures out that that's not how genetics work and realizes that he must be adopted since he's a Snakeman and his dad is a Gar. He goes and cries to Skeleteen and they catalogue all of Noodle's Snakeman traits and figure out (at least one of) his bio-parents.

♥ - family : Noodle is adopted. He is a Snakeman that Trap Jaw found as a new hatchling. He was abandoned in a creche because he was born deformed. without a lower mandible of his jaw. As someone who also did not have a lower mandible of his jaw, Trap Jaw felt an immediate kinship with the little Snakeman hatching and brought him back to Snake Mountain with him. As far as Noodle is concerned, Trap Jaw is his dad. Skeleteen helped Noodle figure out who his bio-dad was when they were younger, and Noodle rejects him. Trap Jaw is his father. Trap Jaw's bio-daughter is his sister. They are his family. Anyone who says otherwise can catch these hands.

♒ - cooking/food : Noodle eats a whole goat once every 2 days. He eats it raw, and prefers it fresh. He is capable of digesting bones, skin, horns, and organs, but Trap Jaw lovingly butchers the goats form him, removing the entrails and chopping off the horns. Sometimes he'll even debone it. To eat, Noodle removes his prosthetic jaw, opens his throat wide, and swallows his meat whole. This can make some people uncomfortable, so he prefers to eat in private. When Noodle is in a new place and someone offers him food to be hospitable, Noodle politely declines, saying, "Nobody wants to watch me eat."

[ozymandiasdirge]

do you actually like any characters that aren't cas or is that just a bit you do for clout

yall send me the funniest shit i SWEAR to god. i am an adult with a job and you think i clout chase on tumblr. but i do deserve to clout chase because cas stans are objectively correct 🥰

comprehensive list of characters i who’s scenes i dont automatically skip through on netflix. this is definitve. if they aren’t here assume indifference.

jack!!! he is three and he in the wise words of tumblr user thatisahotsoup would in fact make pokemon real. son boy allowed. one day i will make andrew dabb and the entire cast answer for their crimes against him.

cas’s cats that he gets as compensation for 12 years of being undervalued by everyone on the show

misha collins as he exists in the french mistake universe

claire, kaia, alex, patience, jody, and donna deserved their own show and supernatural should have been cancelled to provide funding for it

dean when he isnt fucking around and finding out and testing my patience. we can have a discussion of the finer points of vonnegut after he atones for racist porn and the end of season 6 crimes.

any angel any time an angel is onscreen i cheer. i dont care how inane their storyline is it is automatically the most interesting. except lucifer. lucifer is only good when he’s played by misha and setting gay rights back by 50 years

anna is genuinely such a good character if she’d been allowed to be fleshed out.

gabriel is fun! him and cas’s relationship is fun! people arent freaks about it! i will never forgive you sabriels for what y’all did

charlie. she is a dudebro lesbian who unironically likes game of thrones and i do vibe with her and her terrible taste

benny’s hot greek girlfriend andrea

the version of jessica moore in my head who gets to be a real character with thought and care put into her

the chuck from season 5 and 11 who’s basically a rip off of kilgore trout 

belphegor fun

bobby!!!!!! rufus!!!!!! queer elders!!!!!!!!

missouri mosely 

cassie should have been dean’s love interest because they actually had chemistry unlike the absolute travesty of bad writing with ben and lisa

jo

ruby 2: electric boogaloo

dagon hot

garth

victor henriksen. rip king.

kali was genuinely fun and cool and of course they did her dirty.

billie

eileen!!!!!! absolute queen of hot girl shit

bela was fun

young mary with the other actress from 4x03 and 5x13′s end scene was so good in those two episodes.

that one cute psychic girl from season 2 who was a lesbian on hannibal

rowena, the only person who won season 15. is somehow the show’s second best mother behind jody. wild.

amara, once she stopped all that nasty shit and decided to just get massages and watch sex and the city re runs

kevin

crowley but only in the scenes where he’s the losing side of a love triangle

absolute chad thee biblical cain and colette

jimmy novak but only the version in my head who’s a closet case and marries a tax accountant in heaven after coming to terms with himself

literal hot girl cas and lily sunder

that one vampire in purgatory who called cas “your angel” while dean was singe handedly murdering his way through the place.

edit: i’m a dumbass i forgot adam. love that guy

[themoomoorn]

I think with Edelclaude, the fact that the two are the way they are is one reason why few dare to criticize it. It also ties back to how their interactions are presented in the game.

Dimiclaude gets praised because the game presents plainly (key word here) facts that they're at least compatible in terms of ideals, and furthermore, they are amiable and respect each other at the barest minimum. Even when Dimitri is neck-deep in psychosis, he spares Claude no thought until Grondor, and even then he will even tell Claude to move, because You Know Boo is his real target. AM has them parting on good terms; VW has Claude mourning for Dimitri when he finds out he's been killed; CF has each of them fighting off the Empire in their own ways, but never each other, and for fairly logical reasons (namely in how the Kingdom and Alliance are respectively run, power structures, etc. etc.). To go meta, on the album cover for the Edge of Dawn/Maiden of Hresvelg single, Dimitri and Claude are amiably talking to each other while Edelgard stares out at a passing bird/the viewer.

The standom doesn't really seem to like how plainly obvious compatibility is visible in characters they don't like, which is the case with Dimitri and Claude. You can also find racist/fetishistic accusations slung at people who like this ship, much like with Dimidue and some of the Petra or Cyril ships.

Similarly, while Dimiedel is far rarer, it's out there, and as one would expect it gets railed against both for the obvious and also as yet another way to warp canon regarding Dimitri's behavior towards her (i.e "he wants to bone her and kill her at the same time"). The game, in turn, presents plainly that Dimitri strictly sees Edelgard as family before the reveal about what she's done, and as an enemy after the reveal, only switching back to seeing her as family on AM per his redemption arc. Edelgard, in turn, sees him as someone beneath her and as a nuisance, with her only real compliment being that maybe he could've been a good king, which in turn is dubious since it's lobbied at him in a gaslighting manner while he's defending his homeland from a conquest she started.

From what little Dimiedel content there is, I see people pair them because it's kinda hot, and to explore the rage mode angle they'd likely have, which, yeah, it is pretty fascinating. It's why I find Edeleth fascinating in the sense that Edelgard covets Byleth as something to possess, not as a person with their own needs.

Because Edelgard (bisexual woman/driving force of the game's main conflict) and Claude (biracial man) fit certain demographics, criticizing them is already thorny, but it gets thornier because unlike Dimiclaude or Dimiedel, the incompatibility that would mire them is not as plainly presented. Edelgard has no respect for Claude and views him as little more than a nuisance and a brat; Claude in turn doesn't hold Edelgard in high esteem either, and states multiple times that her conquering the continent goes against both his moral code and hampers laying down the foundations of what he wishes to achieve. But it's all spaced across the game (Edelgard's comments on Claude are primarily on CF, for one), and you get two throwaway lines about how their ideals maybe aren't so different. They also deal with their respective traumas in "respectable," not-ugly ways (which is just plain gross and abelist, and that's if you aren't someone who thinks Claude wasn't traumatized at all), and what they wish to achieve, while different, are all-encompassing and reek of "LET'S BURN IT ALL DOWN AND START OVER," which is something certain people really like, for better or worse. Furthermore, while this is me stretching, their routes don't involve the player proxy being made to feel uncomfortable, unlike a particular blue-clad prince - and let's be real here, player fee-fees play a role here too.

This is wordy, but I feel like this all encompasses why Edelclaude is almost never put under scrutiny.

(uncensored ship names in the anon lol hence the screenshot - oh hey, I remembered that this time woohoo)

Ahh, was about to say lol the dimi/claude art I tend to see has mostly positive reception, but I don't go to Reddit for dimi/claude art so yeah

But, I will say that I have seen more general fandom-wide dimi/claude criticism - whether dislike of the ship itself or how it's usually portrayed by shippers - more so than I've seen the same for edel/claude, which is mostly from the more EdeIgard critical side of the fandom. Which makes a certain amount of sense given the size-to-canon-material ratio dimi/claude has compared to a lot of other ships in the fandom; it's like, what, the third biggest ship for Dimitri, and the second biggest for Claude? I can see why some could annoyed with its prevalence looking at it from that angle. Compare that the edel/claude which is way smaller, the smallest of the lord x lord ships and by a good bit in fact, I think?

Plus, well, Reddit will Reddit and from what I've seen Dimitri's popularity there is. Uh. Something that could be higher, at least in some subreddits lmao, so that'll also bring over some negativity. And the popular idea that Claude would team up with EdeIgard because "similar ideals" which would then make it "make sense" that they could be a good couple (imo they have AMAZING vibes as a bitterly divorced couple, which is way funnier than what I usually see from the ship lmao). So I can see why dimi/claude would get more criticism/dislike tossed at it than edel/claude; doesn't really bother me that much lol, like it can be a bit annoying at time sure but overall it's kinda 🤷‍♀️