#racial attitudes
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Insane how (at least after a fairly cursory glance through adaptation history) Heathcliff has never been played by a man of color in a direct adaptation of Wuthering Heights despite the…text of the fucking novel? Emerald Fennell if you cast a white boy I’m going to bite you and draw blood
#I guess you could argue that it might be more problematic since he’s a problematic figure but like#idk. just make him less objectively evil#he’s already primed to be portrayed sympathetically#idk like my attitude is that it maybe doesn’t need to be adapted again but that heathcliff’s racialization is integral to the text#beck broadcasts
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've always hated going through border patrol checks for obvious reasons but they seem to have a new pep in their step. These guys used to look bored, like they were going through the motions, but these days they seem imbued with righteous indignation. Worried I'm gonna slip up and instead of "Yessir, I'm a citizen" I'm gonna say "I think you're the fucking scum of the earth"
#last guy majorly pissed me off#obviously im not in danger from these guys so they dont scare me#but GOD they have an attitude#they're like the narc at your school who becomes a security guard and acts like they're a navy seal#like slow down motherfucker your job is racially profiling people in cars#last guy openly implied i was stupid because I didn't know i had to stop and that his wave didn't mean to keep going#you're a fucking nazi. you're evil. and you're gonna sit there and call me stupid.
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey, I just read this post which I found interesting
https://www.tumblr.com/theroselens/742154059538104320/i-know-theyre-probably-not-going-to-go-into-this?source=share
and it made me wonder if you had some headcanons about Alastor's background as well! (Like, how his experience as someone of "mixed race"/Creole background from 1920s Louisiana impact his character)
That is a baller post that I read and loved earlier! It has some really thoughtful insights and I highly recommend giving it a read.
That said, I am in no way qualified create headcanons about what it was like for Alastor to live as a mixed person in the American deep south, and I don't think that trying to do so would be wise or decent of me! I try to defer to the perspectives of people with relevant personal insights and opinions, and do my best to synthesize said perspectives into my work where appropriate without overstepping the bounds of what I can reasonably say on the subject! I want to be considerate of what people have to say (ie. not pussyfoot around the subject of Alastor's race like it doesn't exist) about things I otherwise have no fucking clue about while also really not being in the game of speaking over people.
I'm always really interested in what people have to say on the subject of Alastor's race, though, because there are... definitely layers to it, both within the scope of canon and from a meta perspective.
#personal#ask#anonymous#sorry anon!#tl;dr all my headcanons on this subject are borrowed from people who know their shit#way better than i ever could#actually that said i feel like i could be doing a better job being mindful in my own writing#tv heads grey skin and furries make it really easy to de-racialize characters#except doing so isn't neutral it's just “refer to whiteness as a default”#anyway food for thought for me for sure#esp since I wasn't even born in the USA and sometimes it becomes REALLY evident to me#due to my lack of knowledge about certain places attitudes cultures etc in this country
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Something about the way people talk about “having kids you can’t afford” always feels really eugenics-y to me. Like alleged leftists will say this. And then complain about Margaret Sanger like. Do you hear yourselves
#glass rants#eugenics#let’s not ignore the racial aspect when it comes to the attitude that poor people shouldn’t have kids#but like#I agree in theory but like. it feels eugenics-y. can’t put my finger on it
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Every time multiple mass tragedies happen, I swear we go through the same exact timeline of events.
Timeline of events:
*Mass tragedy A happens.*
Person A posts: “Omg this is so sad, I stand with the people of Tragedy A :(“
*Mass tragedy B happens.*
Person B responds to Person A’s post: “This is so tone deaf, what about the people of Tragedy B? Honestly, this is so disappointing of you to just ignore them. I can’t believe you’re not giving your support of the people of Tragedy B. Unfollowing. Blocked. Kill yourself. Etc. Etc.”
And what’s fucking annoying about it is that it’s not as if these posts aren’t timestamped, wherever they’re posted to. So you going back in time to the post they made BEFORE MASS TRAGEDY B EVEN HAPPENED just to bitch at them for not commenting on an event that hadn’t even occurred yet makes you look fucking dumb. They’re the type of people who’d show up to a funeral and scream: “BUT WHAT ABOUT THIS DEAD GUY, HUH!?”
And also, like this is my greater problem overall with making these sort of affirmation posts in the first place. Every time something really bad happens, you don’t need to jump online and reaffirm the greater world that you are “anti-bad things happening”. Most people will just assume that you don’t support people dying en masse, unless of course you’re famous, in which case all of the world’s worst idiots will come out and demand your stance on every little thing that they honest to god have no business talking about in the first place.
Anyways, yeah this is a vague blog about THEM but I made it generic because it is something I’ve seen in the past. I’m just bitter over all of the inane comments I’ve seen recently on videos of Jewish people lamenting the loss of other Jewish people in “Mass Tragedy A”, and yet these clowns act like they’re the good guys who are really doing something special when they tell you how disappointed they are that you… *checks notes* …don’t like others like you dying. Heinous, I know.
#random rant#ramble post#politics#I’ve very swiftly reached the point where I’m no longer checking my bias at the door#because yes I 1000% have a bias against one particular side#it’s not a racial thing#it’s a religious thing#but frankly if the only way to get rid of the religion is to…well you know#then well…you know#but yeah sure ideally nobody should…you know…or whatever#I’m just tired of the ignorance#and the antisemitism#and the holier than thou attitude#acting like you’re the good guys just because you’re smaller#that’s not how that works guys#like your beef is with Britain not us#go complain to the manager for giving us our land back#yes BACK#tired of this wah wah colonialism nonsense#it’s not fucking colonialism#you can’t colonize your own fucking land#squatters rights doesn’t work that way#this is why I shouldn’t post at 2 AM lmao#I’ve tangented the fuck out of this#ignore this
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
i need some absolute heart shattering angst about bucky "dying" and then a few years later he suddenly shows up at the door
AND YOUR WRITING IS SOOOOK CHEFS KISS 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭
lmao babe, I'm not gonna lie, this was soooo vague so I went off the rails with this one a bit, lol, which means I accidentally wrote a mini 15k fanfic
Come Home To Me

pairing | 40s!bucky x fem!reader & platonic!steve x reader
word count | 14.7k words (lowkey this is like a three part story put together)
summary I during the rise and ruin of the second world war, a sharp-tongued brooklyn girl falls for james buchanan barnes—only to lose him to the battlefield, a presumed death, and the silence that follows.
but almost two years later, when the war is long over and the wounds have scarred over, he comes back through her door, proving that some promises do survive the fire.
tags | (18+) brief smut, canon divergence, slow burn, friends to lovers, soft!bucky barnes, strong female character, angst with a happy ending, angst and feels, domestic fluff, pregnancy, bucky barnes needs a hug, period-typical attitudes, racially ambiguous reader, no use of y/n
a/n | I hope this satisfies you guys for the rest of the week, because I will be working unfortunately. lowkey have no idea where this idea even came from, but I'm actually in love with this. for context, they're all the same age so, 1936 - 18, 1941 - 23, 1944 - 26, 1946 - 28
likes comments and reblogs are much appreciated ✨✨
ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ
divider by @cafekitsune
Brooklyn, Summer of 1936
Bay Ridge streets smelled like hot pavement, coal smoke, and fresh bread — if you were lucky. If you weren’t, it was just piss and heat and someone hollering three blocks away.
You were leaning against the iron railing outside your building, arms crossed, one scuffed boot propped up behind you. Hair pinned up in a rush, streak of grease on your cheek from helping your mother with the busted fan in the window. You didn’t hear them so much as feel them coming — like a ripple in the rhythm of the block.
“Morning, boys,” you said without looking, voice dry as kindling.
“Sun’s barely up and she’s already packin’ attitude,” Bucky Barnes replied, that usual drawl in his voice like he thought he was the second coming of James Cagney.
You gave him a sideways glance. “And you’re packin’ delusions. Must be somethin’ in the water on your end of the street.”
Steve gave a tired chuckle, already wedged between the two of you in spirit if not in body. He had a half-eaten apple in one hand and worry in his eyes — like always. “Can we go one day without a brawl before lunch?”
You raised a brow. “You think this counts as a brawl? Stevie, this is foreplay.”
Bucky damn near choked. Steve went red all the way to the tips of his ears.
You let the silence sit for just a second too long before snorting, then pushed off the railing. “Relax, Rogers. I wouldn’t flirt with this guy if he was the last swing dancer in Manhattan.”
Bucky smirked. “Don’t flatter yourself, trouble. You’d miss me if I dropped dead.”
“Only thing I’d miss is the peace and quiet.”
But he knew, and you knew, that wasn’t exactly true. You butted heads with Bucky like it was your second job, but there was something magnetic about him — the kind of boy who knew the weight of every girl’s stare but still acted like the world owed him one more.
He dressed like he owned the sidewalk — suspenders slung loose over a plain white tee, sleeves pushed up to show the muscle he never stopped bragging about. Hair slicked back, grin sharp enough to cut a streetcar in half.
You hated that he could smile like that and get away with murder.
Steve, sweet and lean, kept his shoulders tight like he was always bracing for something. He didn’t speak unless he meant it, and when he did, people listened — not because he was loud, but because he was honest. If Bucky was a firecracker, Steve was the matchbook — quiet, flammable, and always trying to keep things from going up in flames.
“Where we headin’?” you asked, pulling a cigarette from your purse. You didn’t light it — just liked the feel of something between your fingers when you talked. “We going to that theater again?”
“Nickel matinee starts in twenty,” Steve said, tossing the apple core into the gutter. “Double feature — G-Men and something with Myrna Loy.”
“Ugh,” you groaned. “Another damn fed movie? They’re just propaganda with prettier faces.”
Bucky gave you a lopsided grin. “You just don’t like cops ‘cause they keep catchin’ you runnin’ your mouth.”
You stepped in close enough that he blinked, caught off guard by how quickly you cut the distance. “I don’t like cops ‘cause they don’t care about girls like me unless we’re dead or useful. Big difference, soldier boy.”
His grin faltered — just a flicker — and Steve, ever the peacemaker, cleared his throat and gently nudged his way between you both.
“She’s not wrong,” Steve said quietly, adjusting the strap of his satchel. “Cops only come to our side of the block when someone’s bleeding. Or brown.”
Bucky glanced between you two, then dropped the grin altogether. His voice went soft — maybe even respectful. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
You didn’t answer right away. Just tucked the cigarette behind your ear and started walking. “You never do, Barnes. That’s the problem.”
But still — still — when your shoulder brushed his as you passed, you didn’t pull away.
And he didn’t move either.
After the movie, the three of you settled along the edge of the promenade overlooking the East River, legs swinging above water that glinted dull and gray under the setting sun.
You were mid-rant. Again.
“And don’t even get me started on the benches,” you said, jabbing a thumb behind you like the injustice was sitting right there. “I mean, really? A freakin’ bench? Can’t share a place to sit ‘cause someone’s skin looks different? What kind of country invents trains and planes and peanut butter and still can’t figure out where a person should be allowed to sit?”
Steve nodded slowly, elbows resting on his knees, listening like he always did — not with judgment, not with pity. Just taking it in, quiet and steady.
Bucky popped the cap off a soda bottle with his belt buckle, because of course he did, and took a long sip before muttering, “You sure you don’t wanna run for office? You talk enough for three senators.”
You shot him a glare. “If I ran for office, I’d be dead before I made it to the first speech. They don’t like girls who say what they mean — especially ones who don’t smile while doin’ it.”
Steve winced. “She’s got a point.”
You gestured at him. “Thank you. Steve gets it.”
Bucky held up both hands, defensive but grinning. “I didn’t say you were wrong. I’m just sayin’, maybe the bench thing ain’t our fight. Not really.”
You stared at him. “See? That right there. That’s the problem.”
He blinked. “What is?”
“You thinking just because it doesn’t hurt you means it ain’t your fight.”
Steve looked over at Bucky, brows raised slightly. “You walked into that one.”
Bucky sighed and leaned back on his palms, looking up at the sky like it might hold some kind of answer. “I’m not tryin’ to be the bad guy, alright? I know the country’s busted. I know some people got it worse than me. I just—” He shook his head. “It’s not like I can do anything about it.”
You snorted. “That’s what they all say. ‘Ain’t my place,’ or ‘it’s just the way it is.’ Then you blink, and it’s been seventy years since slavery ended and we’re still out here arguing about who gets to use a water fountain.”
Bucky looked over at you — really looked. You were staring at the river like it had betrayed you personally, eyes hard, jaw set, that fire in your belly burning so bright it practically radiated off you.
“I just think,” you said, softer now but still fierce, “if you’re not mad, you’re not paying attention.”
Steve nodded again, quiet and firm. “You’re right about that.”
Bucky was silent for a beat. Then he said, quieter than either of you expected, “I am payin’ attention.”
You didn’t say anything back. You just sighed.
────────────────────────
One Week Later
It was too damn hot for anything. The kind of sticky, breathless heat that made the whole neighborhood move slow. You were sitting on the curb outside the corner store, nursing a warm soda and fanning yourself with a folded-up newspaper when Bucky came jogging around the corner, looking far too pleased with himself.
“Oh no,” you muttered as soon as you saw his face. “You’ve either done something stupid or something worse.”
He stopped in front of you, grinning and breathless, hands on his hips. “You remember that diner on 10th? The one with the best cherry pies in Brooklyn?”
Your eyes narrowed. “The one with the ‘whites only’ sign in the window?”
“Yeah, that one.”
You stared at him. “Bucky. What did you do?”
He pulled something from his back pocket and held it out — a metal sign, rectangular, scratched and dented, but unmistakable.
The words “WHITES ONLY” had been spray-painted over in red.
“I may or may not’ve borrowed this,” he said, tossing it onto the sidewalk with a loud clank. “And I may or may not’ve told the guy behind the counter he could shove it where the sun don’t shine.”
You stared at him. Blinked. Then burst out laughing — not because it was perfect (it wasn’t), or smart (definitely wasn’t), but because it was so Bucky. Loud, impulsive, dramatic, and maybe even a little dangerous.
He looked proud of himself, then uncertain. “Was that… stupid?”
You stood, brushing your hands on your skirt. “It was loud. It was reckless. And it was probably illegal.”
He winced. “Okay, so yes.”
“But,” you said, stepping closer, eyes locked on his, “you listened.”
Bucky shrugged, suddenly sheepish. “Don’t really like the idea of a place that’d take my money but not someone else's. Doesn’t sit right with me.”
Your throat tightened at that. You hadn’t expected much — just the usual back-and-forth, the teasing and fighting. But this? This was real. Maybe not world-changing, but it was Bucky-changing. And that mattered.
“You know,” you said slowly, “for a guy who runs his mouth like it’s his job, sometimes you say the right thing.”
He gave you that damn grin again. “I’m a man of many talents.”
You rolled your eyes — but this time, you smiled too.
────────────────────────
Brooklyn, August 1936
It was late afternoon, and the sun had dipped just enough to turn everything golden. The heat still clung to the brick and concrete like a second skin, but a breeze finally cut through, lifting the hem of your skirt as you stood outside Wilson’s Department Store, eyeing the newest window display.
There it was. The dress.
Soft yellow with a sweetheart neckline, pleated skirt, and delicate white piping along the seams, like something you’d see on the pages of Ladies’ Home Journal if you ever had the spare coins to buy one. It was soft, feminine, ridiculous — and perfect.
And looking like it belonged to a girl who didn’t have to count pennies or scrub floors.
You stood there staring, thumb hooked into your belt loop, brow furrowed. You weren’t wearing anything special — a hand-me-down skirt that was a little too loose at the waist, and a blouse with a stain near the hem you’d tried to cover with a brooch. Your heels were scuffed. Your nails had oil under them from helping patch the neighbor’s busted radio.
You weren’t ashamed, not exactly. You’d worked for every thread on your back. But you still wanted to look nice, sometimes. Wanted to feel like a girl instead of just a fighter.
“Ey,” a voice behind you called. “You gonna rob the place or just stare it down ‘til it surrenders?”
You didn’t need to turn to know who it was. That voice had been haunting you since you were thirteen.
“Don’t tempt me,” you muttered.
Bucky chuckled and stepped up beside you, Steve just a step behind with a tired smile already forming.
“What’s the occasion?” Steve asked, looking at the dress too. “Not your usual color.”
You shrugged, arms crossed, jaw tight. “Just lookin’. Ain’t a crime.”
“We were headed to Deluca’s,” Steve offered. “Thought you might wanna come.”
You hesitated — just for a second — then gave a shrug. “Sure. Can’t afford the pie but I’ll steal bites off your plate.”
The three of you fell into step down the sidewalk, the usual rhythm settling in. Bucky tossing a coin up and down in one hand, Steve quietly narrating neighborhood gossip in a tone that suggested he didn’t quite believe half of it, and you walking just a little ahead, tongue sharp and posture tougher than you felt.
“Y’know,” Bucky said after a while, like the thought had only just occurred to him, “never figured you for the dress type. Thought you were more… y’know. Practical.”
You turned to look at him.
“Practical?“
“Yeah,” Bucky said, encouraged by your silence. “Like… you don’t care about all that frilly stuff. You’re not like the other girls. You don’t care about all that stuff. Lipstick and ribbons and whatnot. You’re... different.”
“Different,” you repeated, flat.
Your jaw tensed.
Steve gave Bucky a sharp side-eye, already sensing disaster. “Buck—”
“I mean,” Bucky went on, oblivious, “you’re always talkin’ about politics, and unions, and—hell, you cursed out that priest last week for callin’ Roosevelt a communist—so like you don’t need to be pretty. You’re, y’know... rough around the edges. But in a good way.”
Steve groaned under his breath.
You stopped walking. “Rough around the edges?”
Bucky, to his credit, froze. “No, I meant— Not rough like bad rough. Just— You’ve got character.”
Steve tried. “He’s saying you’re—uh—authentic.”
You turned on Bucky, arms folded. “Let me see if I’ve got this. I’m not like other girls, I don’t care how I look, and I’ve got rough edges and character.”
“No, no—dammit,” Bucky rubbed a hand over his face. “That’s not what I meant. I’m saying you don’t have to put on airs. You’re... you.”
Steve muttered under his breath, “You should stop talking.”
“I meant,” Bucky tried again, hands up, “you’re—different in a good way. You’re smart, and tough, and you don’t need a dress to be beautiful.”
You stared at him, arms folded so tight across your chest you could’ve snapped a rib.
“Oh, so I’m not beautiful now, and I get points for not trying?”
“No! That’s not—Jesus, that’s not what I meant—”
Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. “Buck, for the love of God, please.”
“I meant you are beautiful, but not because you try, just… ‘cause you don’t? Like, you’re not… shallow.”
“So girls who like pretty things are shallow now?”
“No! Not shallow. Just, y’know—less…” He trailed off, realizing he had no end to that sentence that wouldn’t get him killed.
You scoffed. “You’re lucky you’re pretty, Barnes, ‘cause your brain’s hangin’ on by a shoestring.”
Steve coughed into his hand to cover a laugh.
Bucky was flustered now — flushed, nervous, trying to backpedal in boots made of wet cement. “All I’m saying is, you don’t gotta change a damn thing. You’re already—you’re already you, and I like you.”
“That’s rich,” you said, backing away him. “Coming from the guy who just said I’m not like other girls. Like being other girls is some kind of disease.”
Steve sighed. “He’s an idiot. He means well—”
“She knows I didn’t mean it like that,” Bucky said to Steve, then looked at you. “C’mon, honey—”
“Don’t patronize me,” you snapped.
His face fell. Just a bit. But enough.
You took a step back, jaw tight. “I do care how I look, Barnes. I just don’t have the luxury of pretending I don’t. I like dresses. I like lipstick. I like feelin’ pretty. But you know what I don’t like?”
You didn’t wait for an answer.
“Feelin’ like the only reason a guy’s got anything nice to say about me is because I’m not like the girls he thinks are too much. Like I’m some prize for not askin’ for nothin’.”
Bucky looked stunned, like he hadn’t even considered that angle. Like he’d been trying to give you something and dropped it straight into the gutter.
Steve, quietly, said, “She’s right, Buck.”
You held your stare with Bucky a moment longer, then exhaled — sharp, frustrated, done.
“I’m goin’ home.”
“Wait—hey, hold on—”
You were already turning, fists clenched, eyes burning — not with tears, never that — just anger. Embarrassment. The ache of being seen just enough to sting.
“I said I’m goin’ home,” you called over your shoulder, “before I break somethin’ you can’t sweet-talk your way out of.”
You didn’t stop walking.
And this time, neither of them followed.
────────────────────────
Brooklyn, Early September 1936
It had been a month.
Thirty long days of radio silence — no knocking on the stoop, no wisecracks outside the shop where you helped your uncle sort through junked radios, nothing.
Steve had tried. Lord, had he tried — showing up at your stoop like a walking apology letter, rambling about how Bucky was a jackass “but not that kind of jackass,” and half a dozen “he means well” speeches. You’d listened, arms crossed, jaw tight, thanked him politely, and shut the door with the kind of finality that said grudge fully intact.
And honestly? You didn’t miss Bucky Barnes. Not really. Not much.
...Maybe a little.
Now it was a Saturday night. Crickets chirped under the hum of streetlamps and jazz drifted faint from a neighbor’s radio. You were stretched out on the front parlor couch in your slip, your hair pinned halfway, half-heartedly reading a borrowed copy of Gone with the Wind that you’d dog-eared so often you were certain the library’d start charging you.
That was until your Ma called out from the kitchen, voice thick with flour and annoyance.
“Get the door! I’m elbow-deep in potatoes!”
You muttered a few curses under your breath — ones your Ma would swat you for if she heard — and pulled on a robe as you headed for the front door.
You pulled it open, half-ready to bark, “What?” — and then froze.
There he was.
James Buchanan Barnes.
Hair slicked back like always, but a little messy, like he’d run his hands through it too many times. No smirk. No swagger. Just Bucky, standing there with his hands shoved into his coat pockets like a schoolboy who’d lost his lunch money.
“Hey,” he said softly.
You blinked at him, arms crossing out of instinct.
“What do you want?”
Bucky shifted on his feet. “Can I... can I talk to you?”
You glanced over your shoulder, then stepped halfway onto the stoop, leaving the door cracked open behind you.
“I’ve been practicin’ this,” he admitted, eyes down. “For, uh. For a while. In my head.”
“Didn’t get a chance to use it on the other girls you insulted this month?”
He winced, hands tightening in his pockets. “No. Just you.”
You said nothing.
“I’m sorry,” he began, voice low. “For what I said. For how I said it. I was tryin’ to say you don’t need all that stuff to be beautiful, but it came out like you weren’t allowed to want it. And that’s... that’s not fair. You can want lipstick and dresses and still want to break the whole damn system.”
You arched an eyebrow, still guarded. “Where’d you hear that?”
“Steve,” he muttered. “Well, mostly. And maybe a little from this pamphlet I found at the co-op, but it was all in real small print, and the lady at the desk was real intense.”
That made you almost smile. But not quite.
“I know I talk too much,” he continued. “And I don’t always think before I do. But I’ve been thinkin’ a lot. About how I made you feel. And how I hate the thought that you might’ve thought... you weren’t enough. Or too much. Or whatever the hell it was I made it sound like.”
You sighed quietly, leaning against the doorframe. “I don’t wanna be angry all the time, James. It’s like—people expect me to be. Like the minute I open my mouth, it’s just bark, bark, bark. Sometimes I wish I could just... be. Y’know?”
He looked at you like he understood. Not fully. Not yet. But enough.
“I like your bark,” he said, almost sheepish. “But I like when you’re just you, too.”
You looked down, toes tapping the wooden stoop.
There was a pause — soft, honest, unpressured — before he asked, gently, “Did I blow it? Or... have you forgiven me?”
You tilted your head, narrowing your eyes like you were calculating the weight of the whole damn thing.
“I’m takin’ one of those quiet moments where I weigh your good qualities against your bad ones,” you said slowly, “to decide if you’re actually worth the trouble.”
He straightened, hands dropping from his pockets like he wanted to prepare for a punch.
You tilted your head. Composed. Narrowed your eyes.
“You made it.”
His grin bloomed across his face — that trademark Bucky Barnes smile, the one he used when he won a game of stickball or caught the last seat on the trolley.
It knocked the breath out of you a little, not that you’d admit it.
“I, uh—” He rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly shy. “I got somethin’. For you.”
He stepped back a bit and pulled something from his coat pocket— a neatly folded bundle wrapped in brown paper and tied with string. He held it out.
You looked at him, suspicious. “What is it?”
“Just... open it.”
You frowned, lips already pursed, but your fingers tugged at the twine anyway.
You tugged the string loose and unwrapped the paper — and then you saw it.
Your breath caught.
Soft yellow cotton. Sweetheart neckline. White piping at the seams. The exact dress from the department store window. The one you’d stared at. The one you’d fought about.
Your heart tightened like a fist. “Bucky—this ain’t—this wasn’t cheap.”
“I know.”
You pushed it back into his hands. “Take it back.”
“No.”
“Did you steal this?”
“What? No!” he raised his hands. “I took extra shifts at my pop’s shop. I’m still covered in oil under this shirt. Go ahead, check.”
You gave him a flat look.
He softened. “I remembered you starin’ at it. That’s all.”
You looked down at the dress. Ran your fingers over the hem.
“I’m not takin’ this.”
“You are,” he said firmly. “Because if you give it back, I’ll just sneak it in through your window next time you leave it cracked.”
You stared at the dress. Then him. Then the dress again.
Your lips twitched — damn him — and you rolled your eyes, but you didn’t hand it back.
He noticed the smile threatening to appear on your face.
“Stop lookin’ so pleased with yourself,” you muttered.
“You’re smilin’.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.”
Then, slowly, you held it close, not too obvious, just enough to breathe in the new fabric. Your lips twitched. “Fine.”
He smiled wider. “Fine?”
“Don’t make me repeat it.”
He chuckled under his breath. “Alright.”
Bucky hesitated again, rocking back on his heels. “I should probably head home. Don’t wanna push my luck.”
You looked over your shoulder, then back at him. “Ma’s makin’ shepherd’s pie.”
His brows rose. “Yeah?”
You nodded. “You know it's just me and her, and she always makes too much.”
He cleared his throat. “I mean... if you need help eatin’ it...”
“You comin’ in or what, Barnes?”
His grin turned boyish again — a little crooked, a little sheepish, all charm. “You sure ’cause I wouldn’t want to impose—”
“Oh for God’s sake, Barnes, come in before I change my mind.”
He stepped over the threshold so fast you’d think you’d offered him gold.
And just like that, you shut the door behind him.
Five years Later
Brooklyn, September 1941
The diner smelled like strong coffee, burnt toast, and a little bit of grease — same as it always had. The bell over the door jingled as Steve and Bucky stepped in, the wind from the street trailing in behind them. The place was half-full, same old chipped counter, same tired cook hollering from behind the swinging door.
Bucky slid into a booth near the window, knocking his shoulder against Steve’s as he grinned.
“You’re buyin’. I got grease on my pants for you this morning.”
Steve rolled his eyes, shrugging off his coat. “You volunteered to fix the radiator, Buck.”
“Doesn’t mean it didn’t take effort, punk.” He kicked his boots up under the table and leaned back like he owned the place.
“Always with the dramatics,” Steve muttered.
Just then, the bell on the counter gave a sharp ding, and a voice called over it:
“Well, well. If it ain’t Barnes and Rogers. Lookin’ like you crawled outta a sewer and a church basement, respectively.”
You.
You were in your uniform dress — nothing fancy, blue apron tied at your waist, hair pinned back (mostly), a pencil tucked behind your ear. You had a rag slung over one shoulder and that trademark glint in your eyes.
Steve smiled. “Hey. Didn’t know you were workin’ today.”
“Pulled a double,” you said, striding over. “Mrs. Fratelli called out again. Probably ran off with the meat truck driver like she threatened.”
Bucky’s face lit up the second he saw you.
“Hello, sweetheart,” he said smoothly. “Miss me since this mornin’, or you too busy dreamin’ about me in your sleep?”
You gave him a flat look. “I dreamt I ran you over with a trolley. Twice.”
Steve snorted into his water.
Bucky grinned wider. “Still think that’s your love language.”
You leaned in, eyes narrowing as you placed two menus on the table, voice low and teasing. “You keep talkin’, Barnes, and I’ll slip hot sauce in your coffee.”
“I like it when you threaten me,” Bucky said, eyes gleaming. “It means you’re thinkin’ about me.”
You rolled your eyes before bending just a little and pressed a quick kiss to his mouth — soft, familiar, like it wasn’t even a question anymore. Just something you did. His hand instinctively brushed your hip as you pulled away.
Steve groaned and dropped his forehead to the table. “Not in front of me. Please.”
You raised your eyebrows. “I kissed his face, Rogers. Relax.”
“Yeah, but then he’s gonna get all dopey and start sayin’ stuff that makes me wanna drown myself in syrup.”
“Too late,” Bucky said dreamily, eyes still on you. “Already feel like I’m swimmin’ in sugar.”
You grabbed the coffee pot from behind you and poured two cups — sliding one in front of each of them with a pleased smile. “And that’s why I’m rationing how much coffee you get today.”
Bucky raised a hand solemnly. “If lovin’ you means sufferin’ through caffeine withdrawals, I’ll take it.”
“Awful,” Steve mumbled. “You’re both awful.”
You winked at Steve. “You love us.”
“I tolerate you.”
“I’ll take it,” Bucky said.
You were already walking off to the next table, hips swaying, head turned just enough to catch Bucky watching you. You rolled your eyes at him, but there was no bite in it.
He looked across at Steve, still grinning like a damn fool.
Steve sipped his coffee. “You’re pathetic.”
“Maybe,” Bucky said, watching you over the rim of his cup, “but I’m in love with a girl who can verbally eviscerate me and still kiss me like I hung the moon.”
“...Pathetic and doomed.”
Bucky just smiled wider. “Can’t wait.”
The diner’s usual low hum was alive with clinks of silverware and the hiss of coffee pots, but Bucky’s eyes were fixed on only one thing — you.
You were making your rounds like you ran the place, pouring coffee into mugs with an easy flick of your wrist, tossing back quips with regulars who knew better than to get fresh.
Your hair was coming undone in the back, a curl slipping down your neck, and your apron had a grease smudge near the hem — and Bucky swore he’d never seen anything prettier.
Steve followed his line of sight and let out a sigh into his coffee. “You ever blink when she��s in the room?”
Bucky didn’t even look away. “Would you, if that was yours?”
Steve snorted. “She ain’t yours. She lets you hang around.”
“She’s got that look in her eyes today,” Bucky said, head tilting as he watched you swipe a rag across a booth. “Like she’s two seconds away from smashing a sugar jar over someone’s head.”
“That’s just her face, Buck.”
Bucky finally turned to Steve, flashing that familiar smirk. “You remember last fall? That night in Fort Greene, after the street fair? I kissed her—right outta nowhere. Thought she was gonna sock me in the jaw—”
“She probably should’ve.”
“—but instead,” Bucky said, practically glowing, “she grabbed me by the shirt and kissed me back.” He smiled wider, tapping the side of his head. “Swear to God, I thought I’d been knocked out cold. Like I won the damn lottery.”
Steve made a face. “I think I liked you better when you were pining and pathetic.”
Bucky raised his cup in mock toast. “I still am. Just, y’know, happily pathetic now.”
Steve shook his head, a quiet laugh slipping from him. “She keeps you humble.”
“She keeps me honest,” Bucky corrected, and turned back to watch you.
That’s when the radio near the register crackled a little louder than before, catching just enough attention to lower a few voices.
“…German U-boats continue patrolling the Atlantic, with reports of more attacks on British convoys. American destroyer Greer engaged by German submarine in recent weeks. Though no formal declaration has been made, the Roosevelt administration urges continued readiness…”
Your hand slowed on the countertop, just slightly. Conversations across the diner dipped low or stopped altogether. The cook leaned halfway through the window to turn the volume up.
“—and while President Roosevelt affirms America’s stance as non-combatant, whispers out of D.C. suggest it’s only a matter of time. Should Congress act, all eligible men eighteen and up may be called to serve.”
The old man in the booth behind Bucky snorted and muttered, “Guess the boys better enjoy their hot dinners while they can.”
Someone else murmured, “Been coming for a while now.”
And just like that, the warmth in the diner cooled by a few degrees.
Steve rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s just talk. Same as last month. Same as the month before.”
Bucky didn’t answer right away. His eyes were still on you as you busied yourself clearing a table, like if you just kept moving, it wouldn’t matter what was on the radio.
That look was on your face again, the one Bucky knew well: that mix of anger and weariness you always wore when the world decided to take something instead of fix it.
Finally, he spoke, voice low. “Nah. It’s real now.”
Steve looked at him. “Buck—”
“I know it’s coming,” Bucky said, trying to sound casual but not quite managing it. “Same way my pop did. He knew in ’17. Signed up before they even came knockin’. Said if it’s gonna come for you anyway, you meet it head-on.”
Steve was quiet. He hated this part — the inevitability of it. Watching people he loved step into something they might never come back from.
Bucky looked down at his hands, fingers running over a small tear in the napkin dispenser. “If I go…”
“You don’t know that you’re going—”
“If I do,” Bucky cut in gently, “look after her.”
Steve blinked. “Me?”
“You’re the only one I trust to,” Bucky said. “She’s got no one left but you and me. Since her Ma passed…”
His voice faltered a little. Just enough for Steve to notice, but not enough to make Bucky admit it.
Steve leaned back, gave a dry laugh. “Buck, she’s more likely to look after me. She’d have me patched up, scolded, and fed before breakfast.”
Bucky smiled faintly. “Then look after each other. Promise me.”
Steve held his gaze. “Alright. I promise.”
They both turned to look at you, now laughing softly with a little girl sitting at the counter, sliding her a cherry from behind the counter when the cook wasn’t looking.
Bucky’s voice was soft, but firm. “She acts tough. Mouth like a sailor. But she’s got this big heart, y’know?”
Steve nodded. “Yeah. I know.”
The radio crackled again.
And in the brief stillness that followed, Bucky looked like he was trying to memorize everything — the sounds, the feel of the place, the curl of your lips and the way your smile came slow but full.
Just in case.
────────────────────────
Brooklyn, November 1941 – Atlantic Avenue Train Station
The wind was bitter that morning, the kind that bit through layers and settled into your bones. Steam hissed from the train engine as the platform filled with a quiet hum of voices — families clustered close, trying not to show just how tight they were holding on.
You stood a little behind Steve, arms crossed over your chest, Bucky’s coat wrapped tight around you. The sleeves were a little too long — he always said he liked seeing you swallow up in it. But you kept your chin high, eyes fixed on the tracks like if you didn’t look at him, this whole thing wouldn’t be happening.
Bucky stood a few feet away, saying his goodbyes. He bent to hug his ma first — her face pulled tight and red with holding back tears. His father clapped him on the back with a hand that lingered longer than usual. And Rebecca, red-nosed and blinking back tears, hugged her big brother like she couldn’t believe he was actually leaving.
You shifted your weight, watching the family scene in silence. Steve nudged your shoulder lightly, offering the smallest smile. You didn’t return it, just stared ahead.
Then Bucky turned. Said his final goodbye to his folks, kissed Rebecca's temple and whispered something that made her laugh through her tears.
You watched it all, arms crossed, jaw set.
Steve stood beside you, shoulders hunched, breath curling in the air. He wasn’t saying anything, which you were grateful for.
And then Bucky turned.
He made his way over, bag slung over one shoulder, grin already blooming on his face even though his eyes didn’t match it. He stopped in front of Steve first.
“Well, punk,” Bucky said, trying to keep it light.
“Jerk,” Steve answered, just as steady.
They clasped hands — firm and fast, pulling into one of those hugs that ended with a clap on the back that said all the things they weren’t going to say.
“Stay outta trouble,” Bucky said, forcing a smirk.
Steve gave a small laugh. “How can I? You’re takin’ all the trouble with you.”
Bucky chuckled, low and tired. “Somebody’s gotta stir things up overseas.”
Steve looked at him, jaw flexing. “You’ll be alright.”
“’Course I will.” Bucky bumped his fist against Steve’s arm. “You think I’m gonna let you get taller and better looking than me? Not a chance.”
Steve laughed softly, blinking fast. “Write when you can.”
“I will.”
They lingered a beat longer, then Bucky turned to you.
You didn’t move. Didn’t meet his eyes. Just stared out over his shoulder at the trains, the people, the nothing that didn’t matter.
Bucky stepped toward you, slower than usual. You kept your arms wrapped around yourself, shoulders stiff, almost as if you were protecting yourself.
“Hey,” he said gently. “You’re really gonna make me leave without seein’ those eyes?”
You swallowed, jaw clenched as you pulled your coat tighter. “Train’s gonna leave whether I look at you or not.”
He reached out, gloved fingers brushing your elbow gently. “You’re wearin’ my coat.”
“I was cold,” you said flatly, eyes still fixed on something past him. “Not like I did it for sentimental reasons or anything.”
He smiled. “Course not.”
You didn’t answer. Just shrugged tighter into the coat, blinking fast. Bucky stepped in closer, so close the brim of his cap was nearly brushing your brow.
“I’ll be back before you know it,” he said quietly. “Just a little while. You’ll barely notice I’m gone.”
“Don’t lie.”
That made him pause.
You finally looked at him. Really looked. And the moment your eyes locked, something in your face cracked — not broken, but bent under the weight of all the things you weren’t saying. The world behind your eyes was loud, and Bucky could hear every scream of it.
“I’m scared,” you said finally, voice small.
“Me too.”
Another silence. Longer this time.
Bucky’s face softened. “You think I ain’t comin’ back, don’t you?”
“I think a lot of boys say that to their girls before they leave,” you said, voice even but tight. “And not all of ’em get to mean it.”
Bucky reached up, thumb brushing the side of your face, glove rough against your cheek. “I’m not all of ’em. I’m me. And I’m coming back to you.”
You looked down at his chest, fingers curling slightly like you wanted to hold on and didn’t know where to start.
You bit your lip. “If… if something happens—”
“Don’t,” he cut in gently. “Don’t say it.”
“I need to say it, James. I need to—”
“No.” His voice was firmer this time, but not harsh. He leaned in, pressing his forehead lightly to yours. “I’m comin’ home. You hear me? I’m gonna come back and you’re gonna yell at me for leavin’ my boots at your door again, and you’re gonna steal all the covers, and we’re gonna forget this whole goodbye thing ever happened.”
You blinked fast, breathing shaky.
“If you need anything,” Bucky said, “go to my ma. She’ll take care of you.”
You raised your brows, voice dry. “Your ma hates me.”
Bucky blinked, then huffed a quiet laugh. “She doesn’t hate you.”
“She glares at me like I taught Rebecca to swear.”
He paused, then grinned crookedly. “She just doesn’t love you as much as I do.”
You let out a small, breathy laugh — not quite whole, but better than nothing.
He kissed you then. No heat, no show — just steady and sure, like he was trying to anchor the both of you in the moment. Your hands clutched at his coat, pulling him closer for one more second, two, three.
When you pulled back, your voice was quiet.
“Come home to me.”
Bucky rested his forehead against yours. “You’re all I wanna come home to.”
The train let out a loud hiss. Passengers began calling their goodbyes, some already starting to board.
Bucky kissed your forehead, quick and sure. Then stepped back — one step, then two — still looking at you like he didn’t want to turn around.
“You stay warm, alright?” he called, voice louder over the bustle. “Eat something other than burgers and coffee once in a while!”
You scowled faintly. “You’re one to talk!”
He gave you that big, crooked grin, the one that always made your stomach flip.
Then he turned and walked toward the train, duffel slung over one shoulder.
And you stood there in his coat, trying not to let your eyes water in the cold, with Steve silently stepping closer beside you — not saying anything. Just being there.
The train pulled out of the station a few minutes later. And Bucky was gone.

Three years later
Brooklyn, October 1944 – Atlantic Avenue Train Station
The train pulled into the station with a shriek of steel and smoke, hissing to a stop under the gray Brooklyn sky. The platform was packed — families pressed up against the rails, hopeful and desperate, faces turned toward the windows of the arriving train like it might spit out salvation.
You were right at the front, your press badge pinned to your coat as you tapped your heel anxiously against the concrete, not even trying to play it cool. You looked good — hair pinned sharp, lipstick bold, a belted coat cinched over your skirt, the hem just brushing your knees. You always made a point to look good when he came back.
You weren’t just you anymore — not the loudmouthed girl with calloused fingers and second-hand dresses. You were a name in print now. Famous columnist at The Brooklyn Standard, known for stirring the pot and refusing to let anyone — the government, the public, or the boys back home — forget the hypocrisy of this so-called land of the free.
You had a national voice now, but today, that didn’t matter. Today, you were just the girl waiting on her boys to come home.
And then you saw him.
Steve stepped down first, tall and broad and shining like something out of a poster — because, well, he was now. The star-spangled uniform clung to him like it belonged there, a coat trying and failing to hide it, but that open smile on his face? That was all Steve. Your Steve. Brooklyn Steve. The one who carried extra change for the subway because he was sure one day you’d forget.
You didn’t even have time to shout before Bucky followed behind him — slightly thinner than you remembered, bruised under the eyes, but real. Whole. Alive. Still him.
And when he saw you—
“Doll—!”
You didn’t wait. You shoved past a vendor and a couple of sailors, arms already out. You practically launched yourself at him.
Bucky caught you mid-stride, arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you clean off the ground. Your legs lifted, and you buried your face in the crook of his neck, arms tight around him like you were afraid he might vanish if you let go. His duffle bag dropped to the ground with a heavy thump as he spun you once, breathless and warm.
“I missed you,” he murmured against your temple. “God, I missed you, baby.”
He held you like he was afraid you weren’t real. Like if he let go too fast, you’d vanish into the smoke and the station noise and all the things he saw out there in the dark.
“I’m not crying,” you muttered against his neck.
You pulled back just enough to kiss his face — everywhere. Cheek, brow, nose, temple. He laughed, a sound somewhere between hysterical and joyful, as you brushed your fingers over the short edge of his hair.
“I’m kissing you so you know it’s me,” you whispered. “So next time you disappear, I’ve got your damn face memorized.”
He grinned, breathless. “Don’t plan on disappearing again.”
You pressed your forehead to his for one more second before turning to Steve, who stood nearby with a patient smile.
“Well, well,” you said, arching a brow and resting your hands on your hips. “Would you look at that. Steve Rogers. Has anyone seen him? Small fella, polite, sketchbook always tucked under his arm? You’re wearin’ his face, stranger.”
Steve laughed — loud and whole and rich. “That’s me, alright. Just with a bit more… calcium.”
Bucky snorted behind you, still clinging to your waist like he hadn’t seen you in a decade. “You mean steroids.”
“Super-serum,” Steve corrected.
“Fancy steroids.”
You grinned, stepping forward to pull Steve into a hug, strong and sure. He hugged you back with those new arms of his, still gentle like he might break you.
You whispered to him as you held tight: “Thank you for bringing him home to me.”
His voice was quiet. “Would’ve brought him back sooner if I could.”
You pulled back and cupped his cheek. “You brought each other back. That’s more than most people get.”
Just then, a kid across the station shouted, “Hey! It’s Captain America!”
Steve flinched slightly, and you rolled your eyes. “Great. They spotted you.”
“You’ve been in the papers too, y’know,” Steve said, tugging his bag higher. “Every time I see your name, someone’s mad about it.”
“Means I’m doing it right.”
Bucky watched you, chin tilted slightly, pride glinting behind tired eyes. “Told the fellas you were raising hell while we were gone.”
“I did more than raise it. I printed it in bold.”
He slid his hand into yours, fingers tight between yours like he hadn’t remembered what it felt like until now.
“We got you for a few days?” you asked, voice softer now.
“Four,” he answered. “Four days, and then they send us back to God knows where.”
You nodded. “Then I’ll make ‘em count.”
He glanced at you, and a little smile flickered on his face.
“You already are.”
────────────────────────
Your Apartment — 2:47 a.m.
The radiator hissed in the corner, clanking loud enough every so often to make you flinch. The warmth it gave off didn’t quite reach the corners of the old apartment. You were used to that — this was the place you’d grown up, after all. The chipped paint, the creaky floors, the faded wallpaper your ma had put up in '28.
Bucky had crashed in your bed as soon as you'd gotten home. You'd followed later, after checking in on Steve — who was passed out in your old room, still fully dressed. Poor guy had barely gotten the boots off before slumping on your old too small twin bed.
Now it was late, maybe two, maybe three in the morning. Outside, the city hummed quiet and cold. Inside, the room was dim, lit only by the soft amber glow of the streetlamp filtering through the thin curtains. You'd drifted in and out of sleep — curled against Bucky’s side, your head on his shoulder — until the sudden jolt of his body broke the stillness.
He gasped sharp, sucking in air like he’d been drowning, his muscles tensed tight beneath you. You sat up instinctively.
“Bucky?” you whispered, brushing your hand over his chest.
His eyes were wide and wild, not quite seeing. Sweat clung to his brow, and his breath came hard and fast. You gently cupped his face and leaned closer.
“Hey. Baby, it’s me. It’s just me.” You reached up to stroke his hair, fingers tangling through the soft brown strands. “You’re not there. You’re here. You’re home.”
He blinked, chest still heaving as he tried to slow his breathing. Your other hand rubbed soothing circles against his sternum.
“There you go,” you murmured, voice barely a breath. “Breathe with me, okay? You’re safe. You’re with me.”
He was quiet for a long beat. Just breathing. Then he shifted, head pressing into the crook of your neck, his arm curling tight around your middle as if he was trying to burrow into you, as if your body was the only thing tethering him to this world.
The room was quiet save for the sputter of the radiator and the soft rhythm of your fingers in his hair. You didn’t ask too soon. You knew better than to push.
After a long while, his voice emerged — low, ragged.
“They kept us underground,” he murmured finally, voice rough. “No light. Cold. No names. Just numbers. They… they strapped us down, filled us with something. And when the pain started, it didn’t stop. I thought my head was gonna split open. I couldn’t scream after a while. My throat just gave out.”
You didn’t move, just kept your fingers stroking slow, steady lines along his scalp, the other hand curling along the back of his neck.
“I thought…” he swallowed. “I really thought that was it. That I was gonna die in some freezing hellhole in the Alps with no name and no grave.”
“Hey,” you whispered, voice cracking. “But you didn’t. You came back to me.”
He was quiet for a long beat. Then, “Sometimes I feel like I left pieces of myself behind. Like I didn’t all make it back.”
Your chest ached at that. You tightened your hold around him, pressing a kiss to his temple.
“You’re all here,” you whispered. “And the rest… the rest we’ll find together, yeah?”
Your throat tightened, but you didn’t cry. You didn’t let yourself. Not while he needed you steady.
Silence again. But the kind that wasn’t heavy. Just close. Breathing. Rebuilding.
His head rested over your heart, and you felt him calm as he focused on the steady beat beneath your ribs. Then—
“Marry me,” he said suddenly, muffled against your skin.
You blinked, startled. “What?”
He lifted his head, eyes locked with yours now — clear, steady, fierce in a way that made your stomach flip.
“Let’s get married,” he said again. “Tomorrow. Or today. Whenever you want. Just—let’s do it.”
You sat up a little more, still blinking at him, mind spinning. “James—”
“I don’t want to wait,” he cut in, softer this time. “I’ve been through hell and back, and every time I thought I wasn’t gonna make it, all I wanted was to get to you. Just to be here again. To hear your voice and feel your hands and—”
He grabbed your hand then, pressed it to his chest like he needed you to feel how real he was. “We’ve been through too much. We’re already each other’s, right? So let’s make it real.”
You stared at him — this man you’d grown up with, fought with, fell for. His eyes never left yours.
“I got it all in my head,” he added, quick like he was afraid you’d talk him out of it. “We’ll go down to the courthouse, get the papers. You can wear that yellow dress I got you. I’ll wear that suit Ma made me save for ‘something good.’ Steve and my family can be our witnesses. We’ll get egg creams after and laugh about how fast it all was.”
“You sound like you’ve been planning this,” you muttered, heart thudding.
“I have,” Bucky said, without missing a beat. “Since the day you kissed me instead of sockin’ me in the jaw.”
You looked at him — really looked at him — hair a mess, face a little pale under the moonlight slipping in through the window. He looked tired and strong and so, so sure.
You swallowed. “You know I always wanted more than marriage and housewives and babies, right?”
“I know,” he said gently. “That’s not what I’m askin’ for. I want you, just how you are. Loud and brash and brilliant. I just want to be yours — proper.”
You met his gaze, fierce and full of something too big to name. “I love you. So… yeah. Let’s get married, Bucky.”
Bucky smiled. That slow, boyish, heartstopping smile you hadn’t seen since before the war.
Then you leaned forward, kissed him slow, and pulled back just enough to whisper against his lips, “You better not change your mind in the morning.”
“Not a chance, doll.”
──────────────────────────────
The Next Evening
The second that Bucky opened the door, he bent low and scooped you clean off the stoop with a dramatic flair that made you yelp and burst into laughter.
“James Buchanan Barnes!” you gasped, arms flailing before looping around his neck. “What the hell are you doin’?”
“I’m carrying my wife across the threshold,” he grinned, eyes bright with mischief as he marched toward the living room like it was a palace. “That’s what a gentleman does, ain’t it?”
You tossed your head back laughing. “This dump is the same place I've been sleeping for years, James—”
“Not the point, sweetheart,” he said, adjusting his grip under your thighs “I’m startin’ traditions here. And one day, when I come home for good, I’m gonna carry you over the threshold of a real house. Big porch. Little garden. No leaky faucets.”
“You’re outta your mind,” you muttered fondly, brushing his hair back from his forehead as he leaned in and kissed you — quick, then long, then quick again.
Your feet finally hit the ground again and your fingers immediately went to the neckline of your dress — the same pale yellow one he’d bought you all those years ago. The satin straps slipped off your shoulders as you took a breath and said, “Can’t believe this thing still fits.”
Bucky tilted his head like a puppy, eyes scanning your body like he hadn’t already memorized every inch of you.
“Why wouldn’t it fit?”
You scoffed, rolling your eyes as you turned toward the mirror. “Bucky, you got me this dress when we were teenagers. I was still livin’ on Ma’s grocery scraps and bad coffee.”
He stepped up behind you, hands curling around your waist as he dipped his head into the crook of your neck. “You look the same to me,” he murmured against your skin. “Just more beautiful.”
You turned toward him at that — letting your forehead rest against his chest. “You always been such a smooth-talker.”
“No,” he whispered, drawing his fingers slowly down your back, “I just speak the truth when it comes to you.”
He kissed you again, deeper this time. His hands slid lower, anchoring you against him. Your fingers reached for the buttons on his shirt with practiced ease.
“You know,” he murmured between kisses, “if you keep smilin’ like that, I’m not gonna make it to the bed.”
You raised an eyebrow. “You got somethin’ against the couch?”
“No,” he laughed, scooping you up again — this time with a little less ceremony — “I just figured the bed deserves the honor tonight.”
You squealed and let your head fall back as he carried you down the short hallway, your yellow dress now barely hanging on. Once in your bedroom, he laid you down gently, reverently, like he was handling something holy.
“You sure you don’t wanna wait till tonight?” you teased as he hovered above you, eyes dark with love and want. “Make it real proper?”
Bucky’s laugh was low and quiet, almost a hum. He leaned down, brushing his lips against your jaw, then your throat. “We’re married. That is proper.”
Your breath hitched as he kissed the hollow of your collarbone.
“You know I love you, right?” he said, suddenly serious — eyes locking with yours. “I’ve loved you since you threatened to throw a shoe at my head for callin’ you mouthy in ‘31.”
You smiled softly and cupped his cheek. “You still talk too much, Barnes.”
“Then maybe I’ll shut up and show you instead.”
And he did.
He kissed you like a promise. He kissed you like you’d never have to say goodbye again.
His kiss deepened slowly, and when his hand slid behind your neck to cradle you closer, you let yourself fall into it. Into him. Into the warmth and security and the slow realization that this was it. You were married. This was your forever.
Bucky kissed like he meant to remember every second.
He tugged gently at the fabric of your dress, fingertips moving with reverence, not rushing, not demanding—just feeling. When you shifted beneath him, he helped you sit up, fingers fumbling a little with the tiny row of buttons down your back.
“Too many of these damn things,” he muttered.
You laughed softly, leaning back into him. “You’ve been wanting to get me out of this dress since the ceremony, admit it.”
His breath ghosted hot against your shoulder as he kissed your skin between each word. “Since before that. Since I saw you this morning and realized I was gonna be lucky enough to call you my wife.”
The dress slipped down your arms, the delicate fabric pooling at your waist, revealing the soft cream of your slip underneath.
Bucky stilled for a second, eyes roaming over you like you were some rare treasure unearthed in candlelight.
“You’re beautiful,” he said, hoarse. “God—look at you.”
You reached up and tugged at his loosened tie, pulling him down into another kiss. “Then look closer, Barnes.”
That broke something in him.
He pressed you back down into the bed, hands everywhere now—still gentle, but needier. His mouth trailed kisses across your collarbone, then lower, tracing the edge of your slip with aching slowness.
“Can I?” he asked, lips brushing the swell of your breast.
You nodded.
He peeled the slip down carefully, like undressing a secret. When your breasts spilled free, he groaned, breath catching like it hurt. His lips closed over your nipple, tongue flicking gently before he began to suck, slow and deep.
You gasped, arching into him.
His hand moved down, smoothing over your stomach, then lower, over the delicate lace of your underwear. He kissed lower still, murmuring against your skin.
“You’re trembling.”
“I’ve wanted this,” you whispered, “for so long.”
“I know,” he said, voice thick. “Me too.”
He kissed the inside of your thigh, then dragged your underwear down, baring you completely. You heard the sharp inhale he took as he looked at you—eyes blown wide, filled with awe.
Then he was over you again, chest pressing to yours, and you were tugging at the waistband of his slacks, unfastening the button, the zipper, until he was bare too—hard and flushed and shaking slightly in your hand.
“You sure?” he asked, voice barely steady.
“I married you,” you whispered, guiding him to you. “Of course I’m sure.”
And when he slid into you—slow, deep, stretching you in the most perfect, heart-wrenching way—it was everything. You both gasped, your fingers digging into his shoulders, your legs wrapping around his waist.
He moved slow at first, reverent, lips brushing over yours with every thrust.
“Love you,” he whispered. “So much. Always.”
You held his face as he made love to you, feeling him fill you again and again until your breath came in soft cries and your heart was a song in your chest. The pace built gradually—never rushed, just more. Deeper. Closer.
When you finally came, it was with his name on your lips and his body pressed fully into yours. He followed seconds later, buried deep, gasping your name against your skin like a prayer.
After, you held each other.
Naked. Married. Home.
And when Bucky whispered another love you against your neck, you kissed his temple and whispered back:
“We’ve got forever now.”
────────────────────────
Six Months Later
Austria – Hydra Territory, March 1945 | Before the Assault on Zola’s Train
The snow howled outside the makeshift command tent like a restless animal. A biting wind cut through even the thickest of coats, but inside, by the dull light of a single hanging lantern, Bucky sat hunched over a folded piece of paper — his hands trembling just a little.
He had read it once.
Then twice.
Now a third time.
Each word hit harder than the last, scrawled in your handwriting — slightly rushed, ink smudged near the edge where you’d probably leaned your elbow like you always did.
Steve stepped in, brushing snow off his jacket, eyes narrowing immediately at the look on Bucky’s face.
“Hey,” Steve said gently, careful. “What’s wrong?”
Bucky didn’t answer right away. He just kept staring at the paper like it held the entire universe.
Steve leaned forward, concern building. “Buck?”
Bucky's gaze stayed fixed on the paper, his thumb rubbing over the last line like it might vanish if he stopped touching it. Then — slowly — he looked up.
And Steve’s heart dropped. Because Bucky Barnes, mouthy ladies’ man, unshakable Sergeant Barnes, had tears in his eyes.
“She’s pregnant,” Bucky whispered, his voice barely there. He blinked, breath catching.
There was a beat of silence — and then Steve's mouth opened in a stunned, breathless laugh.
“Jesus, Buck,” Steve breathed, standing as the words hit him. “You’re gonna be a dad?”
Bucky shook his head, jaw tightening, smile breaking free like light through clouds. “Six months along. She found out just after I left. She didn’t wanna tell me sooner — didn’t wanna distract me.”
Steve stepped forward, gripping Bucky’s shoulder. “Buck…”
Bucky let out a short, shaky laugh and folded the letter up carefully, tucking it back into the inside pocket of his coat, close to his heart. “A kid, Steve. I’m gonna have a baby. With her.”
“She’ll be a hell of a mother,” Steve said softly.
Bucky pulled him into a hug before he even realized what he was doing. The kind of hug men didn’t give each other unless it was earned through blood, war, and years of brotherhood. Steve hugged him back just as tight.
“You gotta come home for this,” Steve said against Bucky’s shoulder. “You hear me?”
“I will,” Bucky said fiercely, pulling back, that old steel in his voice. “We finish this mission. We stop Zola. Then I go home. I’m not missing that. I won’t.”
Steve gave him a firm nod. “One last job.”
“One last,” Bucky echoed, eyes lifting to the mountains beyond the tent wall. “Then I get to hold her. Both of ‘em.”
The snow kept falling. The train would be here soon.
But for a moment, there was warmth in that tent — a pulse of hope beating hard and stubborn against the cold world outside.
And in Bucky’s chest, beneath layers of wool and metal and grief, your letter sat close to his heart — a promise of what was waiting if he could just survive the night.
────────────────────────
One Month Later
Brooklyn, April 1945
Sunlight slanted through the lace curtains, warm and golden on the worn floorboards. Your fingers moved fast across the keys, glasses perched low on your nose, your rounded stomach nudging the edge of the desk.
You were working on an article about women in shipyards. Words came easier when you didn’t think about how long it’d been since the last letter.
You tried not to count the days anymore.
Then — a knock.
Your hands paused over the keys. You glanced at the clock on the wall. Just past four.
With a soft grunt, you pushed yourself up, one hand bracing the small of your back. You crossed the room slowly, brushing crumbs from your sweater, muttering, “If that’s Mrs. Klemanski again askin’ for sugar—”
You opened the door.
And saw Steve.
Your heart jumped up into your throat before you could stop it.
His uniform looked sharper than ever, chest full of medals, that familiar bashful way he stood with his cap held between both hands. Your smile came without permission.
“Steve,” you said, relief threading through your voice. “You’re—wait—where’s Bucky?”
Then your eyes dropped. You saw what he was holding — a folded jacket, a bundle of letters tied in twine, something metal glinting dully between his fingers.
Your smile vanished.
“No,” you whispered, instantly shaking your head. “No—”
Steve’s face cracked. Like something in him broke the second you said it. He didn’t speak. Just stepped forward with trembling hands, like he could soften the blow if he was gentle enough.
You backed away, hand flying to your mouth.
“No, no, no—don’t. Don’t say it.”
“Sweetheart—” he started softly.
“Don’t call me that, Steve—where is he?” Your voice shook, louder now. “Where is he?”
Steve’s eyes welled up. “The train—we were ambushing Hydra. Something went wrong, Buck—he—he fell.”
Your knees buckled a little. You reached for the edge of the wall to steady yourself.
“I don’t understand,” you croaked. “He promised—he said he’d come back. He promised me, Steve.”
“I know,” Steve said, stepping inside, setting Bucky’s things down on the table like they were sacred. “I know. He meant it.”
“No, no—he wouldn’t leave me.” Your voice cracked, nearly childish in disbelief. “He—he was coming home, we were—he was gonna hold the baby, we hadn’t even picked names—”
Steve crossed the space in two strides and caught you just as your legs gave out. He held you tightly against him, like he was trying to keep you from falling apart with just his arms.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, over and over again, into your hair. “I’m so sorry. I tried—I tried to get to him. He was—he was just gone.”
You were shaking. Hands fisting into Steve’s shirt, crying so hard your whole body trembled.
“He was supposed to come home,” you rasped, face buried in his chest. “He promised me, Steve. He swore it. He said—he said after this—he’d come back.”
“I know. I know.” His voice cracked and you felt his tears fall against your hair.
You cried like the world had ended. And for you, it had.
You didn’t even notice the letters scattered across the table, or the chain with the dog tags hanging over the edge. Not yet.
You just held on to Steve like he was the last piece of Bucky left in the world.
And in that moment, maybe he was.

One Year Later
Brooklyn, April 1946, 6:04 PM.
You juggled your bag, house keys, and the folded newspaper under one arm as you pushed open the door to your apartment. It clicked shut behind you with a satisfying clunk — thicker walls, newer locks, good insulation. Worth every penny.
You hadn’t gotten two steps in when the smell hit you.
Garlic, tomatoes, something rich and savory wafting in the air. Your brows furrowed.
You didn’t cook. Not when you’d been running around chasing sources all day.
The quiet babble of a baby's voice reached your ears before you could say anything.
You moved toward the kitchen, already shrugging off your coat.
“Jamie?” you called, more out of instinct and confusion than alarm.
“Hey,” a familiar voice called from the kitchen.
There he was—Steve, of all people—standing at your tiny stove like he owned it, sleeves rolled to his elbows, stirring something in a pot. His cheeks flushed a little as he turned toward you, sheepish.
“I, uh… hope it’s alright. Didn’t mean to intrude,” he said with that boyish, bashful charm.
You leaned your hip against the doorframe, staring. “You're not intruding. Just surprising. Last I heard you were in Marseille.”
“Got back yesterday,” he replied, gently bumping Jamie’s foot with his hand as your son giggled, “And I figured I’d surprise you. Hope you don’t mind.”
You blinked, then shook your head with a soft huff of laughter. “Mind? I’m just surprised Mrs. B let you walk away with Jamie. She told me she was keepin’ him overnight so I could get some rest.“
Steve chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “She said I could take him. Only because I promised to bring him back with no less than ten fingers and ten toes.”
You raised a brow. “And?”
He grinned. “I counted twice. All still there.”
“I'm just glad Mrs B loves Jamie more than she dislikes me,” you teased lightly, stepping forward.
Steve snorted as he wiped his hands on a towel. “I think she’s finally warming up to you.”
“Only took her a decade and a half,” you said dryly.
Your eyes shifted toward the high chair near the small table.
There he was—your Jamie. James Steven Barnes. Nine months old, dark hair a soft mess on his head, cheeks full and pink, legs kicking in slow, distracted rhythm as he banged a wooden spoon against the tray. He lit up the moment he saw you.
“Hey, baby,” you cooed, crossing the room quickly. You scooped him into your arms with ease, planting soft kisses across his face as he squealed in delight. “Mama missed you somethin’ awful.”
He babbled and reached for your face, hands warm and sticky.
Steve leaned over the counter, watching the two of you with something unspoken in his eyes. Something soft and heavy.
“Thanks,” you murmured without looking up, brushing Jamie’s hair back. “For watchin’ him.”
“Always,” he said quietly.
You glanced at him, then down at the little boy now tucked against your chest. You bounced him gently, kissing the crown of his head.
He looked so much like Bucky.
Jamie’s eyes had his smile in them. That crooked brightness. That same stubborn little crease between his brows when he concentrated. Every day he got older, he looked more like him. Sometimes it ached. Sometimes it made you laugh.
“Dinner’s almost ready,” Steve said, breaking the silence. “Nothing fancy. Chicken and potatoes. I followed a recipe from one of those little books Mrs. Barnes keeps in her kitchen. The ones with the oil stains and notes in the margins.”
Your eyes narrowed playfully. “You can read her notes?”
“She writes in cursive. I’m not illiterate.”
You snorted. “I didn’t say it, you said it.”
Jamie giggled, delighted by your laugh.
The apartment had gone soft with golden lamplight. The radio murmured low jazz in the background, and your living room-kitchen hybrid felt, for once, more like home than like memory.
Jamie sat now wriggling in your lap, pudgy fingers smacking the edge of the table as he made soft, happy grunts. You held a spoon in one hand, alternating between your own plate and coaxing tiny, mashed-up bites of potato toward your son’s mouth.
Steve, across from you, ate slower now. The nervous energy that had filled him while cooking seemed to have drained, leaving him thoughtful as he glanced between you and Jamie.
You scraped the spoon along the edge of Jamie’s dish, gently cooing at him, “You’re makin’ more mess than you’re eatin’, baby.”
Jamie shrieked with laughter and kicked his legs against your thigh. You rolled your eyes, smiling, brushing his hair back.
Steve watched, silently fond.
After a moment, you leaned back slightly, sighing. “Steve…”
He looked up.
You hesitated, then spoke, voice gentler than your usual sharpness. “You gotta stop putting your life on pause for us.”
Steve’s brows furrowed. “What’re you talking about?”
“I’m serious,” you said. “You’re here all the time, runnin’ yourself ragged makin’ sure we’re okay. You don’t owe us that.”
“I don’t see it like that,” he said.
“Well, maybe you should,” you said, a bit sharper now. “For God’s sake, Steve… there’s a woman across the damn ocean who’s in love with you. Who you love.”
Steve was quiet, picking at his food. “I do love her,” he admitted softly, after a beat. “I think about her every day.”
You nodded slowly, adjusting Jamie in your lap as he reached for your plate.
“But,” Steve added, eyes lifting to meet yours, steady and sure, “I love you. And I love Jamie. It’s not one or the other. It just… is. And Peggy understands that.”
You looked down at Jamie, brushing your thumb across his cheek as he leaned into you, content. You kissed his temple. “You were here when I needed someone. I’ll never forget that.”
“I wasn’t just here because you needed someone,” Steve said. “I wanted to be here.”
You swallowed thickly.
He cleared his throat, his demeanor shifting. More serious now. “I, uh… I need to tell you something.”
You looked at him. “What is it?”
“I’m going away for a while. Longer this time.”
You froze. “What do you mean?”
“They think Hydra’s back,” he said quietly. “There’s a lead—small, but real. I’ve gotta follow it. Could take a few months. Maybe more.”
Your fingers curled instinctively around Jamie’s waist, holding him tighter.
You were quiet for a long moment. The kind of quiet that stretches over aching bones.
Then you asked, voice tight, “Are you comin’ back?”
He nodded. “I’ll always come back.”
You stared at him, gaze sharp, testing him for truth. “You can’t promise that.”
Steve’s jaw tightened. “No. But I’ll try.”
You looked away, blinking hard. “Just… don’t die, Stevie. I can’t lose another man I love.”
You sighed before kissing the top of Jamie’s head and gently passed him across the table. “Take him while I clean up.”
Steve took him easily, and Jamie reached for his face like he always did.
You stood at the sink, your back to both of them, hands trembling as you rinsed plates that suddenly felt too heavy.
Behind you, Jamie giggled.
And Steve said softly, “You’re not alone. You’ll never be alone.”
────────────────────────
Siberia – June 1946
It was colder than Steve had ever felt. The kind of cold that went through bones and memories, through war medals and stitched-up wounds. Snow drifted down in ghost-silent flurries outside the base, the world unnervingly still.
One of the lasts Hydra holdouts. Tucked into a mountain, almost forgotten.
The air inside was sharp with antiseptic and old blood. The hallways were long and shadowed, cracked concrete walls humming under the weight of hidden horrors. The Howling Commandos moved ahead in silence, boots heavy on the ground. Dum Dum took point. Gabe and Morita swept the side halls. But Steve… something had pulled him down this one, this narrow corridor lined with rusted steel doors and buzzing fluorescent lights.
He felt it before he saw it. Something like instinct. Like memory rising from his gut.
Then he saw him.
Encased in thick glass. Wires attached to skin. A cryogenic pod humming low and blue, the frost crawling up from the base, covering the sides in veils of condensation.
Steve froze.
He didn't breathe.
“God…” His voice was barely more than air.
Bucky.
Hair longer, tangled. Face gaunt. But it was him.
Still him.
And his arm…
Steve’s breath shuddered. The left arm was gone. Replaced with cold, glinting steel. Matte black plating layered in Hydra’s signature design, trailing from shoulder to fingertips. Wires snaked from the seams into the pod.
Steve's mouth opened, but no sound came out. It felt like grief all over again—but this time crueler. Because this time, Bucky was here. And Hydra had done this to him. The scars on his shoulder where steel met flesh were jagged and red, raw as if they'd been carved with no thought for healing. His ribs showed under his skin. His hair was matted. There were bruises on his face, half-healed and sunken.
He looked like a ghost.
“Cap?” Dum Dum’s voice came, low and hesitant behind him. “What do we do?”
Steve swallowed hard, eyes locked on Bucky's face. “We don’t touch it. We don’t dare open it. We don’t know what it’s keeping him alive from.”
────────────────────────
Somewhere in Southern England – Allied Base Hospital, One Week Later
It took seven days to move the chamber.
Howard Stark and his team worked around the clock. Peggy Carter coordinated intelligence and security. The best British and American minds worked shoulder-to-shoulder in the converted medical wing of the base. Stark called in every favor he had left. The facility practically vibrated with tension.
And then the pod was opened.
Slowly. Carefully. Oxygen, sedatives, heart monitors. He was intubated, stabilized, removed from cryo. They monitored every breath. Every neural spike.
And then…
Bucky screamed.
Woke like a beast torn from hell.
Hands strapped down immediately. His body thrashed, nearly flipping the bed. He screamed again—no words, just noise. Animal, broken, panicked. One arm flailed wildly—metal catching the edge of a tray, sending it clattering to the floor. A doctor tried to restrain him and got nearly thrown across the room.
Steve rushed in, yelling over the chaos. “Bucky! It’s me—it’s Steve! You’re safe, pal, it’s me!”
But Bucky didn’t hear him.
Didn’t see him.
His eyes—those warm, familiar blue eyes—were wide and glassy. Vacant and terror-stricken. He screamed again and then curled into himself, sobs ripping from his chest. A medic got a sedative in him. Slowly, the tremors faded. His breathing slowed.
Steve stood frozen.
Peggy stepped beside him, placing a hand on his arm. “He doesn’t recognize you.”
Steve didn’t respond. His hands curled into fists at his sides. “They broke him,” he whispered. “They really broke him.”
────────────────────────
Later That Night
The room was dim now. Quiet. Just the steady beep of a monitor and the gentle hiss of the IV.
Steve sat at Bucky’s bedside. His best friend lay still, unconscious again. Shackled loosely—just in case. The metal arm still gleamed under the muted lights. Stark had examined it with thinly veiled horror. “Cut nerves, fused bone, direct-to-brain wiring,” he’d muttered. “Barbaric. Brilliant. Inhuman.”
Bucky’s skin was a mess of faded bruises and whip-thin scars. The tips of electrodes had left circular burns along his chest and temples.
Steve brushed a strand of hair back from Bucky’s forehead, gently. “I should’ve found you sooner.”
He wasn’t sure if he was talking to Bucky or himself.
Behind him, Peggy lingered in the doorway. Watching quietly. “You never stopped believing he was out there.”
Steve didn’t turn around. “I don't what I believed. I just thought that he'd somehow come back.”
Peggy stepped into the room, her voice gentle. “And now he has. It’s just going to take time.”
Steve finally looked up at her, eyes tired. “How do I tell her? How do I go back to Brooklyn, look her in the eye, and say… he’s alive, but not really?”
Peggy didn’t have an answer.
────────────────────────
Southern England – Allied Base Hospital, September, 1946
It had been five months since Steve had last seen you. And it tore at him every time he thought about it. You’d written him faithfully, letters worn with fingerprints and smudged ink by the time he finished rereading them—every one a small, steady light.
You wrote about how Jamie had taken his first steps at the park, how he reached for a pigeon and toppled into the grass with a giggle so loud people turned to look. How his first word, predictably, had been “mama.” How you were trying to wean him off the bottle and that it wasn’t going well.
You’d written with joy—exhaustion sometimes—but joy, nonetheless. You never asked much in return. You never demanded updates. You let Steve share what he could when he could. And he had written back. But he hadn’t told you about Bucky.
Not because he didn’t want to.
Because he didn’t know how.
What was he supposed to say? “Bucky’s alive, but he doesn’t know he has a son. He wakes up screaming and cries for you like a man who doesn’t know time has moved on.”
You deserved rest. Not more weight.
So Steve kept it in. And he sat with Bucky. Every day.
────────────────────────
Hospital Recovery Wing.
It had been three months since they’d opened the pod.
Bucky was healing—physically, at least. The bruises were fading, and the medical team had finally managed to remove the rusted remnants of Hydra’s control nodes from his scalp. Howard Stark had designed a brace to help ease strain on the shoulder where flesh met steel. There were less screams at night now. Sometimes, there were even full nights of sleep.
But the mind—that was still a maze.
Steve watched from the hallway as Bucky sat near the window, a blanket over his shoulders, hair tucked back behind his ears. He was paler than usual. Leaner. His hands—his real one and the metal one—trembled sometimes when he tried to hold a cup of tea.
But his eyes had life again.
And pain.
And hope.
Steve stepped in. Bucky looked up, and for a second, Steve saw the old grin threatening the corner of his mouth.
“You got news?” Bucky asked, voice still rasped and lower than it used to be, like his throat hadn’t fully recovered from the screaming.
Steve nodded, sitting across from him. “Another lead on Hydra. A nest in the Alps. Small.”
Bucky didn’t care about that. He never did.
His fingers gripped the edge of the blanket. “Steve… just take me home.”
Steve’s heart cracked—again. “You’re not strong enough yet, Buck. You know that.”
Bucky’s eyes were bloodshot, a tremor in his jaw. “I don’t care. I can’t do this anymore, Stevie. I need her. Please—please—just let me see her. She’ll fix me. She always does.”
Steve looked down at his hands, swallowing the knot in his throat.
“She’s pregnant,” Bucky said suddenly. Desperate. “She told me. In the last letter. She’s pregnant and I’m here doing nothing. What if something happens? What if she needs me?”
Steve looked up slowly. He hadn’t told him. Bucky didn’t know.
“No,” Steve said softly. “Buck… she’s not pregnant.”
Bucky’s eyes snapped up in alarm.
Steve stood, pacing. “She was. A year and a half ago. You remember… pieces of it, I know. But it’s been almost two years since the train.”
Bucky looked lost. “But… the dreams. I keep reading her say she’s pregnant.”
“You remember what you needed to. What your heart clung to.”
Bucky’s voice dropped to a whisper. “What… what happened?”
Steve pulled a folded photo from his breast pocket. It was worn. The corners curled from too much handling. He handed it to Bucky gently.
It was you.
Holding Jamie.
In your lap, both of you bundled in coats on a bench, smiling at the camera. The baby’s grin was unmistakably Bucky’s.
“That’s your son, Buck,” Steve said quietly. “James Steven Barnes. He’s… he’s beautiful. He just turned one in July.”
Bucky stared at the photo for what felt like forever. His hand trembled as he held it. His lip quivered.
“I missed it.” His voice cracked. “I missed his first breath. First cry. First birthday. His first… everything.”
Steve crouched in front of him. “You survived. That’s what matters now. You get to be there now. And you will. He’s got your hair, you know. Wild as anything. And your laugh. Same crooked smile too, only shows when he’s about to get into trouble.”
Bucky gave a broken, watery laugh. “God. Steve. I gotta see ‘em.”
“I know.”
“I can’t wait ‘til I’m better. I need to see her, Stevie. Please. I need her. She keeps me here—just thinking about her. I hear her voice sometimes, I see her, clear as day. I need—” His voice broke again. “I need to know she’s real. That she’s safe. That she didn’t forget me.”
Steve rested a hand gently on Bucky’s shoulder, firm and steady. “She never forgot you, Buck. Not for a second.”
Bucky looked down, eyes wet. “Do you think she’ll still want me?”
Steve nodded slowly. “She’s never stopped. And Jamie—he’s going to know his father. Just… let’s get you strong enough to hold him first.”
Bucky clutched the photo to his chest and closed his eyes, whispering your name like a prayer.
────────────────────────
Brooklyn, October 1946 – Late Afternoon
The apartment was warm and golden with late afternoon light, soft jazz floating low from the radio, and the scent of clean laundry still faint in the air.
You sat cross-legged on the floor, your skirt fanned around your knees, Jamie sprawled across your lap in all his squirmy, wiggly glory. His tiny hands tugged at your necklace with single-minded glee.
“Alright, Jamie bear, time to close those eyes,” you said gently, as Jamie giggled, flopping onto his side in a dramatic act of defiance. “I mean it, Mr. James Steven Barnes—fifteen minutes, that’s all I ask.”
He shrieked in laughter.
“Mama,” he giggled, pointing at you like he’d won something. “Mamaaaaa.”
“Oh, you think I’m funny now?” You leaned in, kissing his cheek noisily. “I’ll remember that when you’re sixteen and I’m threatening to walk you to school in curlers.”
Jamie laughed again, grabbing for your nose this time.
You gave him a side-eye. “Baby, I’m gonna be honest—you’re dangerously close to getting tickled into submission.”
He squealed, thrashing happily as you wiggled your fingers near his sides.
“You little tyrant,” you murmured affectionately, brushing his dark hair back from his forehead. “How can something so small hold me hostage with just a smile? I used to be terrifying, you know. Ask anyone. Your mother used to demand respect.”
He blinked up at you like you were the sun, gurgling some nonsense about “ba-da!” before grabbing his foot and trying to chew it.
You sighed, wrapping your arms around him. “You’re exhausting, and perfect. And I’m already losing this war.”
Just as you rocked him gently, trying to coax him into at least entertaining the idea of sleep, there was a knock at the door.
knock knock knock.
You froze, your hand resting on Jamie’s head. His body went still too, his laughter pausing as he tilted his head in curiosity, those wide, wondering blue eyes staring at the door.
There was nothing ominous about the knock. It was solid. Simple. But something in your bones went cold. Something deep and hidden in your belly clenched the way it had when Steve stood in that doorway a year and a half ago—holding a folded uniform and dog tags, with grief weighing down his eyes like stone.
You swallowed, whispered, “Stay here, baby,” as Jamie stared at you with a questioning look, still quiet.
You padded barefoot to the door slowly, every nerve in your body humming. The familiar creak of the hardwood beneath your feet didn’t comfort you like it usually did. Your hand trembled slightly on the knob, your heart pounding without rhythm.
You opened the door.
Steve stood there, tall and square-shouldered in his uniform, his hat tucked under one arm, and that soft, almost apologetic look in his eyes. You blinked, stunned, still registering the sudden appearance of him. Before you could even form a word—
He shifted.
And behind him stood someone else.
You didn’t breathe.
He was thinner and yet... bigger. Paler. His hair longer, jaw unshaven. The blue of his eyes more haunted. His shoulders stooped, as if the air itself weighed too much. A right hand holding a duffle. The other—
Your eyes dropped involuntarily.
And your breath stopped cold.
A gleam of dull silver. Seamless metal. The joints so real, so smooth, that for a split second, your brain couldn’t compute what you were seeing.
Your gaze snapped back to his face.
Bucky.
You stared.
And so did he.
Your knees almost gave out, hand flying to your mouth.
His eyes found yours—and they filled like floodgates breaking. He didn’t smile. He didn’t say anything.
He looked at you, like he’d been starved and was seeing food for the first time. He took one shaking step forward and whispered your name.
You didn’t think. You didn’t breathe. You just ran.
The tears came fast, blurring your vision, and then your arms were around his neck, and his good arm dropped the bag and wrapped around your waist as you collapsed into him.
You clung to him like your body remembered something your mind was still catching up to. Your fingers brushed the metal at his shoulder for half a second and you froze—staggered, breath caught—but then pressed your face to his throat, choosing his warmth over your confusion.
He was real. Cold metal and warm skin and heartbeat thudding under your hand. He was real.
Bucky buried his face in your neck, inhaling like he didn’t believe you were real, holding you with his one good arm like he’d never let go again.
“I thought—I thought I’d lost you,” you choked out, pressing your face against his cheek. “I thought—I held your dog tags, Bucky—God, I—”
“I know,” he choked. “I know, baby. I’m so sorry.”
Behind you, a little voice called from the living room. “Mama?”
You stilled. Bucky lifted his head.
His eyes were wide.
“That... is that him?” His voice cracked.
You nodded. Gently untangling yourself, you stepped back, reached for his hand, and led him a few steps inside.
You pulled him gently into the apartment, guiding him just far enough for Jamie to come into view—standing wobbly on two legs, gripping the edge of the couch for balance, his gaze locked on the stranger, with big, curious eyes.
“Jamie,” you said softly, crouching beside him, heart pounding, “baby, this is your daddy.”
Bucky’s breath hitched audibly. He dropped into a slow, careful crouch, almost like he was afraid he’d scare the child by existing.
Jamie waddled closer, curious, and unafraid.
Bucky stared, completely still.
Jamie blinked at him. Then his face cracked into a gummy, delighted grin. “Pup!” he declared, mispronouncing it as he pointed at Bucky.
Bucky let out a choked breath of a laugh—half-sob, half-shock. “Hi, buddy,” he whispered, opening his arm slowly, still scared.
Jamie stepped into it without hesitation.
And Bucky wept as he held his son for the first time, cradling that tiny body like porcelain.
You moved beside them, touching his shoulder—his metal shoulder. He flinched slightly, but relaxed when your hand stayed steady.
You leaned in, whispering against the side of his head. “He’s been waiting for you.”
“I missed so much,” Bucky whispered hoarsely. “God... he looks like me. But he’s got your nose. He—he said Mama. He can talk?”
“Just a few words,” you murmured. “He took his first steps this summer.”
Bucky’s face crumpled, and he pulled Jamie closer to his chest. “I’m here now,” he said softly. “I swear. I’m here.”
Jamie reached up, tugging gently at his hair, and Bucky actually laughed—a real one this time.
And for the first time in so long, the ache in your chest loosened—just a little.
Because he came home to you.
And he was real.
And he was yours.
.
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#bucky x you#james bucky buchanan barnes#james buchanan barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky x y/n#bucky barnes fluff#bucky fanfic#steve rogers
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
This article is from 2022, but it came up in the context of Palestine:
Here are some striking passages, relevant to all colonial aftermaths but certainly also to the forms we see Zionist reaction taking at the moment:
Over the decade I lived in South Africa, I became fascinated by this white minority [i.e. the whole white population post-apartheid as a minority in the country], particularly its members who considered themselves progressive. They reminded me of my liberal peers in America, who had an apparently self-assured enthusiasm about the coming of a so-called majority-minority nation. As with white South Africans who had celebrated the end of apartheid, their enthusiasm often belied, just beneath the surface, a striking degree of fear, bewilderment, disillusionment, and dread.
[...]
Yet these progressives’ response to the end of apartheid was ambivalent. Contemplating South Africa after apartheid, an Economist correspondent observed that “the lives of many whites exude sadness.” The phenomenon perplexed him. In so many ways, white life remained more or less untouched, or had even improved. Despite apartheid’s horrors—and the regime’s violence against those who worked to dismantle it—the ANC encouraged an attitude of forgiveness. It left statues of Afrikaner heroes standing and helped institute the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, which granted amnesty to some perpetrators of apartheid-era political crimes.
But as time wore on, even wealthy white South Africans began to radiate a degree of fear and frustration that did not match any simple economic analysis of their situation. A startling number of formerly anti-apartheid white people began to voice bitter criticisms of post-apartheid society. An Afrikaner poet who did prison time under apartheid for aiding the Black-liberation cause wrote an essay denouncing the new Black-led country as “a sewer of betrayed expectations and thievery, fear and unbridled greed.”
What accounted for this disillusionment? Many white South Africans told me that Black forgiveness felt like a slap on the face. By not acting toward you as you acted toward us, we’re showing you up, white South Africans seemed to hear. You’ll owe us a debt of gratitude forever.
The article goes on to discuss:
"Mau Mau anxiety," or the fear among whites of violent repercussions, and how this shows up in reported vs confirmed crime stats - possibly to the point of false memories of home invasion
A sense of irrelevance and alienation among this white population, leading to another anxiety: "do we still belong here?"
The sublimation of this anxiety into self-identification as a marginalized minority group, featuring such incredible statements as "I wanted to fight for Afrikaners, but I came to think of myself as a ‘liberal internationalist,’ not a white racist...I found such inspiration from the struggles of the Catalonians and the Basques. Even Tibet" and "[Martin Luther] King [Jr.] also fought for a people without much political representation … That’s why I consider him one of my most important forebears and heroes,” from a self-declared liberal environmentalist who also thinks Afrikaaners should take back government control because they are "naturally good" at governance
Some discussion of the dynamics underlying these reactions, particularly the fact that "admitting past sins seem[ed] to become harder even as they receded into history," and US parallels
And finally, in closing:
The Afrikaner journalist Rian Malan, who opposed apartheid, has written that, by most measures, its aftermath went better than almost any white person could have imagined. But, as with most white progressives, his experience of post-1994 South Africa has been complicated. [...]
He just couldn’t forgive Black people for forgiving him. Paradoxically, being left undisturbed served as an ever-present reminder of his guilt, of how wrongly he had treated his maid and other Black people under apartheid. “The Bible was right about a thing or two,” he wrote. “It is infinitely worse to receive than to give, especially if … the gift is mercy.”
14K notes
·
View notes
Note
What's the story or reason behind "Sweden is gay" jokes?
I could just say “it’s a comedy trope” and leave it at that—but the truth is, the topic is much more nuanced and, in my opinion, genuinely fascinating. The perception of Swedish men as “gay” in Finland isn’t some modern invention; it’s generational. The trope has been around so long that most people have no idea where it actually came from. So let me give you a proper, researched answer!
For most of history, same-sex relationships weren’t explicitly named in Sweden's (and by extension Finland's) criminal law. Instead, sexual crimes were defined through Biblical principles, such as the sins of Sodom, and punishments were meted out inconsistently. In the late 19th century, however, the criminalization of homosexuality became a public issue, driven by contemporary medical debates that aimed to purge society of its supposed moral decay in the name of racial hygiene. Homosexuality was medicalized, and it began to be classified as a psychiatric illness—an abnormal deviation from “biologically normal heterosexuality.” At the same time, psychoanalysts were also looking for ways to "cure" this deviance.
Contradictorily, homosexuality was seen both as an innate trait of certain “lower-class” people and as a contagious epidemic that could "infect" anyone who wasn't careful. Sexuality, now central to modernity, became heavily regulated by social norms. In Sweden, the government appointed numerous commissions focused on sexuality, primarily concerning sexual hygiene and procreation, essentially regulating who was allowed, or deemed desirable, to reproduce.
World War II brought the topic of homosexuality further into public discourse. Beyond the documentation of violent Nazi persecution of homosexuals, Finland began to confront same-sex relationships that emerged on the front lines and in blacked-out Helsinki during the war. War placed people into heavily gendered environments, where same-sex intimacy could form more easily. At the same time, Sweden decriminalized homosexuality in 1944, which brought the topic into Finnish media. Finnish tabloids wrote extensively about Swedish homosexuals and the spread of the so-called “Swedish disease.” Scandals in neighboring countries—like the 1955 Prostitution Network case in Copenhagen and Sweden’s Haijby and Kejne cases—distorted the topic, connecting homosexuality and pedophilia in the Finnish debate.

Stockholms Tidningen 22/1950 - "Homosexuals are a serious problem in Stockholm – rural youth are the victims"
The homosexual, as the "other" and the opposite of the heterosexual, was depicted as a moral threat to society in the 1950s. During the anxiety of the Cold War, the “other” became a public enemy and a danger to national security.
After the war, the national rebuilding project included a focus on moral reconstruction. Attitudes toward sexuality became increasingly conservative. The fear and panic around homosexuality led Finnish authorities to monitor, e.g., parks and public bathrooms, where gay men were believed to meet each other. The 1950s saw the highest number of convictions for homosexuality in Finnish history, with over 1,000 men prosecuted. Public discourse and reporting on homosexuality led to the police becoming more active to prevent a moral panic, which in turn led to new convictions, which were reported in the tabloid magazines—starting a self-feeding cycle. Sensational headlines framed victims of sexual assault as complicit, citing “loose morals,” drunkenness, or a tendency toward debauchery, the victim-blaming adding shame to an already stigmatized homosexuality. There was also the threat of blackmail, real or fabricated, that could ruin people’s personal relationships, careers, and public image.

Viikon Totuus 11/1959 - "Male homosexuals in the limelight: Is the 'Swedish disease' spreading in Finland?
Whereas homosexuality was associated with communism in the United States and the United Kingdom, in Sweden, homosexuality was seen as a problem within the right-wing and upper classes of society, with young and impoverished working-class men being the victims. In Finland, similar ideas arose, as homosexuality was primarily considered an urban problem. Until the 1950s, Finland was a largely agrarian society where people, regardless of gender, were expected to contribute to agricultural labor. Oftentimes, it was the women who had to do labor-intensive work while the men were drafted as soldiers. This fostered a less rigid gender hierarchy, to a point it's argued that rural life didn’t necessarily stigmatize the "feminized" man in a same-sex relationship. Same-sex relationships were seen as less problematic than extramarital relationships between women and men, which could result in illegitimate children. As long as everyone contributed to the community, same-sex couples could often go unbothered. However, this concealable nature of same-sex relationships meant that rural communities weren’t exposed to homosexuality as a concept until the media framed it as a threat. What had once gone unnamed became a symbol of urban moral decay and a danger to national purity.

Viikon Totuus 1/1963 - "Homophiles chase boys and men in central Helsinki"
In Western patriarchal societies, homosexuality is “othered” because it challenges hegemonic masculinity, which relies on the expectation of unequal heterosexual relationships. Male bonds are expected to remain non-sexual to uphold the social hierarchy. Men who deviate or fight against these norms are seen as weak, effeminate, and thus lacking masculinity. This dynamic fosters homophobia, misogyny, and heterosexism, keeping heterosexual men united in opposition to anything deemed feminine or non-conforming. By associating homosexuality with something “other” in the new wave of moralism in the 20th century, it was possible to create an image that Finnish masculinity and homosexuality are not compatible. Homosexuality becomes the “other” to the Finnish man’s identity—something that cannot co-exist within him. Swedish men who are “feminine and interested in men” create a contrast to the “strong heterosexual Finnish man”. The othering of the Swedish man was easy because Finnish national identity was, from the start, shaped in opposition to Swedishness. By excluding homosexuality from the cultural narrative, society reasserts its ideals of masculinity, moral integrity, and national cohesion. The othering of the Swedish man gives a satisfying itch to the inferior complex and validates the national identity.
I personally think it's worth noting the upper class of Finnish society being traditionally Swedish speaking (and gayness seen as a vice of the rich), alongside the rural flight which lead to over 400,000 Finns moving to Sweden between 1950s-1970s and thus exposing Finns to more liberated sexual environment, have in my opinion certainly also contributed to the pre-existing conception of Swedishness as inherently homosexual compared to that of Finnishness.

Norwegian petition in Dagbladet magazine, 28.6.1979. "We demand that the competent authorities in Finland immediately repeal the anti-gay law to bring Finland into line with other Nordic countries."
Timeline of the development of same-sex rights in both countries:
Homosexuality criminalized: 🇸🇪 1864 / 🇫🇮 1894
Homosexuality decriminalized: 🇸🇪 1944 / 🇫🇮 1971
No longer classified as illness: 🇸🇪 1979 / 🇫🇮 1981
Anti-discrimination laws: 🇸🇪 1987 / 🇫🇮 2000
Registered partnership: 🇸🇪 1995 / 🇫🇮 2002
Adoption rights: 🇸🇪 2003 / 🇫🇮 2009
Marriage equality: 🇸🇪 2009 / 🇫🇮 2017
During the HIV crisis in 1987, Sweden passed a law banning gay saunas and prostitution (repealed in 2004). In Finland, although gay sex was decriminalized in 1971, it was replaced with a “Promotion Ban,” which made "promoting" or discussing homosexuality effectively illegal until 1999. This vague law created a culture of censorship and fear, discouraging media from covering LGBTQ topics positively—or at all. As a result, many queer Finns sought refuge in more progressive countries like Sweden and Denmark, forming small diaspora communities. It's worth noting that Sweden and Denmark also liberalized porn in the late 1960s, while Finland had strict regulation regarding "promiscuous publications" until the 1990s. Swedish and Danish magazines and films were imported both by private consumers and smuggled by sex shops, reinforcing the association with sexuality, and especially sexual deviancy, with the Western neighbours.
Attitudes towards homosexuality in Finland started to change slowly after the decriminalization. However, the repeated generational perceptions of "effeminate" Swedish men compared to heteromasculine Finnish men continued to shape the perceptions of homosexuality in, e.g., comedy tropes. Additionally, the perception of homosexuality as a sensitive issue that wasn’t being talked about during the Promotion Ban left a mark. Belonging to a sexual minority was seen as a private matter that should not have any weight in public debate, which left especially politicians hesitant to bring up LGBTQ issues forward, and thus, LGBTQ legislation in Finland moved forward painfully slowly.
Homosexuality, since its appearance in wide public discourse in Finland, was associated with Swedishness from day one, being framed as an urban disease, sensationalized through scandals and pseudo-science, sparking moral panic. The issue cut deep into medical, social, and cultural anxiety. The othering made it easier for Finnish society to distance itself from homosexuality by projecting it onto a "familiar" outsider, the Swede, who was easy to make fun of.
Recommendations for further reading:
Juvonen, T., Vastapaino. 2021. Varjoelämää ja julkisia salaisuuksia — Homoseksuaalisuuden rakentuminen sotien jälkeisessä Suomessa. https://www.finna.fi/Record/fikka.5795725?lng=en-gb
Kettunen, S. 2022. Martti rakkaani: Hiljaisuus ja vaikeneminen seksuaalisuuden kokemuksessa miesparin kirjeenvaihdossa 1956–1961. https://urn.fi/URN:NBN:fi:tuni-202210267896
Hagman, S. 2014. Seven queer brothers: narratives of forbidden male same-sex desires from modernizing Finland 1894-1971. https://hdl.handle.net/1814/32118
Põldsam, R., Taavetti, R. 2024. Sisters Across the Gulf: Transnational Connections and Frictions in Estonian–Finnish Lesbian Networks of the early 1990s. https://doi.org/10.34041/ln.v29.933
Rydström, J., Mustola, K. 2007. Criminally Queer: Homosexuality and Criminal Law in Scandinavia 1842-1999. https://library.oapen.org/viewer/web/viewer.html?file=/bitstream/handle/20.500.12657/34830/353810.pdf.
Sundén, J., Paasonen, S., & Tiidenberg, K. 2024. Sex at the Borders: A Special Issue Introduction. https://doi.org/10.34041/ln.v29.928
Söderström, G. 1999. Sympatiens hemlighetsfulla makt. Stockholms homosexuella 1860-1960.
Nyegaard, N., Heede, D. & Rydström, J. 2022. Special Issue Editorial: Nordic LGBTQ Histories. https://doi.org/10.1080/08038740.2022.2104022
Suomi on Queer. 2023. Yle. https://areena.yle.fi/1-66734852
#sorry anon you had to wait#not related to this blog. dunno what to tag. but ty for letting me talk about some of my niches lol#history#culture#lgbtq
436 notes
·
View notes
Text
UR GOOD LOL no worries I gotchu
But yeah agreed 100%. It’s this weird sort of especially frustrating to watch because Destiny is so unusually good on LGBT issues, especially for a shooter that can and does attract annoying chuds — it has so many LGBT characters, allies and enemies, none of whom feel like caricatures to me, and we’ve been getting a series of characters who are in on-screen undeniable gay relationships, or who use they/them or it/its or multiple pronouns or even neopronouns, and it’s not treated as weird or a joke. I’m not naive enough to think that being oppressed one way automatically makes you intersectional, white LGBT people have been proving that wrong for centuries and Bungie is just a corporation like all the rest, but it’s still just kind of baffling to watch them handle LGBT content so well and yet fumble it on issues of race and racism every single time

I've been getting upticks of people liking and reblogging this addition to my PSA. And im just baffled when people just say it's bullshit when I list a source of propaganda from our racist history where rats are symbolic to disease and rats carrying disease during bulbonic plagues and tying that imagery to the most well known Asian character in destiny? Especially when Asian folks get told constantly we're carrying diseases and being vermin to white society from the 1900s thru to today where any Asian person is demonised and/or assaulted for ""the spread of the china///virus"".
Do I really have to write an essay that these clowns won't read to prove that calling Drifter a rat is very racist? 😭 Not that these clowns would read it.
((also please don't harass the person. Just block them and move on))
173 notes
·
View notes
Text
The most grating thing about tumblr's wannabe aesthetes is the really obvious unearned superiority complex they have about their whiteness.
They so clearly speak from a perspective that, tacitly, everybody "knows" that art made by white westerners for white westerners is better than the art of the global south or from racial minorities, and surely, anyone with Real taste only deigns to know a few nonwhite classics, a Wong Kar-wai film here, a Borges novel there, maybe even a Fela Kuti album if they're really feeling adventurous, and of course a few token Black American recording artists (but nothing too scary and working-class) but the idea that Anyone would give any more attention than that to non-western non-white art, they could only be doing that if they have some political agenda, they must be forcing themselves to enjoy this lesser nonwhite art instead of our superior Aryan art. It's really, really vexing how ubiquitous this attitude still is on here.
692 notes
·
View notes
Text
Something I like about dungeon Meshi is that it explores a conflict in human nature that is usually either avoided or played for laughs, which is: how much individualism in the pursuit of your own comfort is acceptable, how much is even feasible?
Like Izutsumi is stubbornly independent and self serving to a fault, and yes it’s sometimes played for comedy because this series has a lot of comedy, but it also interrogates how much of that is healthy. After years of slavery and the violation of her bodily autonomy, it’s no wonder she just wants to do Her Own Thing, but people aren’t meant for that sort of solitary lifestyle, and if she wants to reap the benefits of other people she has to make compromises. The desire to live by your own whims is natural, especially when she’s been in a position of having total obedience expected in return for having her basic needs and no freedom but. The balance is something she has to learn to navigate.
And Laios, as lovable as he is, also represents another angle of this—he’s fine with cooperating with other people towards a common goal, and even is happy to put his neck out for his loved ones, but he struggles with navigating boundaries and has to figure out how those work to maintain his relationships and form new ones. It is hard for some people and you can get badly burned if you don’t understand them but overstepping peoples boundaries, no matter how innocently intentioned, is a form of harm you have to learn to avoid, or at least to mitigate. Like no, it’s not okay to try to count a teenage girl’s nipples even if it is your special interest. There is a racial aspect to the way he treats Toshiro. The fact that people don’t always tell him that there is a problem until it’s reached a breaking point is a fault on their side too, but Laios doesn’t always accept peoples boundaries even when they’re set—his attitude towards Izutsumi refusing the mandrake and not trying to understand why his behavior in the sauna was inappropriate is emblematic of this.
People live in societies and they bring their own baggage with them and no matter how understandable or benign their attitudes are ultimately you have to figure out how to balance your needs and comfort against the needs and comfort of others. Some behaviors and attitudes aren’t morally wrong in and of themselves (disliking working with others, not understanding other people’s feelings) but you are responsible for how you react when that hurts someone else.
The friction between individualism and communalism is something we spend our whole lives navigating!
#dungeon meshi spoilers#dungeon meshi#this isn’t super coherent and is total stream of consciousness#but do you get what I’m saying?
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
How to write about someone’s appearance? Their physique, styles, face , clothes,?
How to Describe a Character's Appearance
-> dabblewriter.com
-> link to Character Description Prompts
Avoid Over-Describing
Overloading readers with too much information can be overwhelming and make your characters feel flat and one-dimensional. Focus on the details that are the most important to the story and the characters themselves.
If the character's appearance is not central to the story, then you may only need to give a basic description. If it plays a significant role, you may want to go into more detail. Always keep the purpose of your physical descriptions in mind.
Show Don't Tell
Don't blatantly state every little thing about your character's appearance, but rather show it through their actions and behaviors.
example: If they are tall, show that through their actions. They have to duck to get under a doorway, they help someone reach the top shelf, etc.
Include Personality Traits
A character's personality is what makes them memorable. Consider their motivations, values, beliefs, and quirks and give them a well-defined personality.
Avoid Stereotypes
Create characters that are more than just their cultural, racial, ethnic, or gender identity. Give them unique interests, hobbies, and personalities. Allow them to have flaws, contradictions, and diverse perspectives.
External Features
External features include a character's height, weight, body type, and general appearance. You can describe their skin color, hair color, eye color, and any distinctive features like freckles or scars. This type of description gives the reader a basic understanding of what the character looks like, which is helpful in creating a mental image.
Clothing
Describing the type of clothing they wear, including the colors, patterns, and how they fit, can reveal a lot about a character’s personality and social status.
For example, a character who wears tailored suits and expensive shoes might be a little snobby and concerned with their image, while a character who wears ripped jeans and t-shirts might be casual and relaxed.
Facial Features
Facial features can be used to give the reader a more in-depth understanding of a character's personality and emotions. You can describe their smile, the way they frown, their cheekbones, and their jawline. You can also describe their eyebrows, the shape of their nose, and the size and shape of their eyes, which can give the reader insight into their emotions.
Body Language
Body language can be used to give the reader an understanding of a character's emotions and personality without the need for dialogue. Describing the way a character stands, walks, or gestures can reveal a lot about their confidence level, mood, and attitude.
For example, a character who slouches and avoids eye contact is likely to be shy, while a character who stands up straight and makes direct eye contact is likely to be confident.
Words to Describe Various Features
Head and face
Oval: rounded, elongated, balanced, symmetrical
Round: full, plump, chubby, cherubic
Square: angular, defined, strong, masculine
Heart: pointy, triangular, wider at the temples, narrow at the chin
Diamond: angular, pointed, narrow at the forehead and jaw, wide at the cheekbones
Long: elongated, narrow, oval, rectangular
Triangular: angular, wide at the jaw, narrow at the forehead, inverted heart-shape
Oblong: elongated, rectangular, similar to oval but longer
Pear-shaped: narrow at the forehead, wide at the jaw and cheekbones, downward-pointing triangle
Rectangular: angular, defined, similar to oblong but more squared
Facial features
Cheeks: rosy, plump, gaunt, sunken, dimpled, flushed, pale, chubby, hollow
Chin: pointed, cleft, rounded, prominent, dimpled, double, weak, strong, square
Ear: large, small, delicate, flapped, pointed, rounded, lobeless, pierced
Eyes: deep-set, angled, bright, piercing, hooded, wide-set, close-set, beady, slanted, round, droopy, sleepy, sparkling
Forehead: high, broad, wrinkled, smooth, furrowed, low, narrow, receding
Jaw: strong, square, defined, angular, jutting, soft, weak, chiseled
Lips: full, thin, chapped, cracked, puckered, pursed, smiling, quivering, pouty
Mouth: wide, small, downturned, upturned, smiling, frowning, pouting, grimacing
Nose: hooked, straight, aquiline, button, long, short, broad, narrow, upturned, downturned, hooked, snub
Eyebrows: arched, bushy, thin, unkempt, groomed, straight, curved, knitted, furrowed, raised
Hair
Texture: curly, straight, wavy, frizzy, lank, greasy, voluminous, luxurious, tangled, silky, coarse, kinky
Length: long, short, shoulder-length, waist-length, neck-length, chin-length, buzzed, shaven
Style: styled, unkempt, messy, wild, sleek, smoothed, braided, ponytail, bun, dreadlocks
Color: blonde, brunette, red, black, gray, silver, salt-and-pepper, auburn, chestnut, golden, caramel
Volume: thick, thin, fine, full, limp, voluminous, sparse
Parting: center-parted, side-parted, combed, brushed, gelled, slicked back
Bangs: fringed, side-swept, blunt, wispy, thick, thin
Accessories: headband, scarf, barrettes, clips, pins, extensions, braids, ribbons, beads, feathers
Body
Build: slender, skinny, lean, athletic, toned, muscular, burly, stocky, rotund, plump, hefty, portly
Height: tall, short, petite, lanky, willowy, stocky, rotund
Posture: slouching, upright, hunched, stiff, relaxed, confident, nervous, slumped
Shape: hourglass, pear-shaped, apple-shaped, athletic, bulky, willowy, curvy
Muscles: defined, toned, prominent, ripped, flabby, soft
Fat distribution: chubby, plump, rounded, jiggly, wobbly, flabby, bloated, bloated
Body hair: hairy, smooth, shaven, beard, goatee, mustache, stubble
Weight: light, heavy, average, underweight, overweight, obese, lean, skinny
Body language: confident, nervous, aggressive, submissive, arrogant, timid, confident, relaxed
Body movements: graceful, clunky, fluid, awkward, jerky, smooth, agile, rigid
Build
Muscular: ripped, toned, defined, well-built, buff, brawny, burly, strapping
Athletic: fit, toned, agile, flexible, energetic, muscular, athletic, sporty
Thin: skinny, slender, slim, lanky, bony, gaunt, angular, wiry
Stocky: sturdy, broad-shouldered, compact, muscular, solid, robust, heavy-set
Overweight: plump, chubby, rotund, heavy, portly, corpulent, stout, fleshy
Fat: overweight, overweight, rotund, heavy, bloated, tubby, round, fat
Lean: lanky, slender, skinny, thin, wiry, willowy, spare, underweight
Larger: large, heavy, hefty, substantial, solid, overweight, portly, rotund
Skin
Texture: smooth, soft, silky, rough, bumpy, flaky, scaly, rough
Tone: fair, light, pale, dark, tan, olive, bronze, ruddy, rosy
Complexion: clear, radiant, glowing, dull, blotchy, sallow, ruddy, weathered
Wrinkles: deep, fine, lines, crow's feet, wrinkles, age spots
Marks: freckles, age spots, birthmarks, moles, scars, blemishes, discoloration
Tone: even, uneven, patchy, discolored, mottled, sunburned, windburned
Glow: luminous, radiant, healthy, dull, tired, lifeless
Tautness: taut, firm, loose, saggy, wrinkles, age spots, slack
Condition: healthy, glowing, radiant, dry, oily, acne-prone, sunburned, windburned
Style
Clothing: trendy, stylish, fashionable, outdated, classic, eclectic, casual, formal, conservative, bold, vibrant, plain, ornate
Fabric: silk, cotton, wool, leather, denim, lace, satin, velvet, suede, corduroy
Colors: bright, bold, pastel, neutral, vibrant, muted, monochrome
Accessories: jewelry, hats, glasses, belts, scarves, gloves, watches, necklaces, earrings, bracelets, rings
Shoes: sneakers, boots, sandals, heels, loafers, flats, pumps, oxfords, slippers
Grooming: well-groomed, unkempt, messy, clean-cut, scruffy, neat
Hair: styled, messy, curly, straight, braided, dreadlocks, afro, updo, ponytail
Makeup: natural, bold, minimal, heavy, smokey, colorful, neutral
Personal grooming: clean, fragrant, unkempt, well-groomed, grooming habits
Overall appearance: put-together, disheveled, polished, rough, messy, tidy
If you like what I do and want to support me, please consider buying me a coffee! I also offer editing services and other writing advice on my Ko-fi! Become a member to receive exclusive content, early access, and prioritized writing prompt requests.
#writing prompts#creative writing#writeblr#ask box prompts#how to write#how to describe a character's appearance#how to describe a character#character description#writing help#writing tip#writing tips and tricks#writing advice
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Others have noted this but there really is something so elegant about how Campaign 2 walked through undoing a lot of D&D players' assumptions about certain types of humanoid creatures that had often been declared evil by default (and, at the time, still were in D&D books), and running into a drow in the sewers is a good time to talk about this:
Fjord, Nott, and to an extent even Molly and Jester deal with this, though Jester's upbringing and the comparative attitudes of the Menagerie Coast make her less affected. Fjord is explicitly an exploration of someone who grew up with such intense racial prejudice he is engaging in self harm regarding his tusks well into adulthood. Throughout, we see multiple positive examples of orcs and half-orcs, and while Fjord himself entirely bucks the stereotypes as written in D&D lore, as a lawful good person who is considerably better talking through problems than through raw strength, the orcs we see in the Empire and Dynasty run the gamut, just as humans or elves do. Nott is of course complicated, as someone who was attacked by goblins, and it is understandable that she doesn't want to remain in a body that isn't hers, but her own prejudices are challenged by Wensforth and the various goblins and goblinoids in the Dynasty. Even the Dynasty, in which Drow are in no way seen as bad or evil and are indeed the "default", has struggled with how they see goblins as perhaps second class, and Skysibyl Mirrim has been said to have been fighting against that prejudice, having been consecuted and reborn as a goblin in this life. Prejudice isn't simply ignored or swept beneath the rug, but the idea that there are inherently evil races is directly challenged and disproven by the text and in-world.
And then of course there's the drow. The Mighty Nein go from the casual cultural references to them as "Cricks" and learning a book in which a romance between a soldier of the empire and one of the dynasty is illegal, even though the romance ends tragically, to learning that the beacons are important culturally and choosing to let a Dynasty soldier go, to eventually reaching Asarius and later Rosohna, and learning that there is an entire other country that is as flawed and complex as the Empire, and full of regular people living their lives, and even becoming people entrusted by both countries to end a war between them.
I think Critical Role has mostly done a decent job of avoiding the worst of the "orcs and goblins are MONSTERS" attitudes. It's not infallible: the curse of Strife remains, in my mind, a somewhat clumsy attempt to justify it, and Vox Machina's campaign had heroic half-orc guest PCs but little else - they did not for the most part have to kill hordes of goblins (I think the cast has even said that for the most part, they fought bandits early on) or kobolds, but the lore contained goblin raids and kobold servants of Thordak. Campaign 2 not only deepened this complexity but overturned a lot of D&D norms, and did so with aplomb.
265 notes
·
View notes
Note
I’m thinking something with starscream!? Like smut with a dom starscream and sub reader where he bends her over and overstimulates her pls🙏
Bro did you shoot like some CIA brainwave thingy at me because the night before I had a dream about Starscream and today I’ve been thinking about him all day. Poorest meow meow, most evil loser, fucked up princess
Starscream x Reader, AFAB gender neutral reader, racially ambiguous, overstimulation, g/t, brat taming, finger fucking, slight breeding kink, degradation
Starscream wasn’t known for his patience. He constantly jumped on every opportunity to overthrow Megatron that came his way but somehow Starscream managed so be methodical.
Impatient and methodical.
Maybe more so impulsive and methodical.
He jumps in leaps and bounds to conclusions, always the worst ones. Starscream wasn’t the easiest to get along with by any means yet here you were always by his side. Soft little human form perched atop his shoulder and hugging his helm. Tiny, flesh fingers dancing over his wings as he allowed himself to rest into a recharge state. You were his and Starscream made that very clear.
“Too big!” You cried drool dripping from your mouth and onto Starscream’s desk. Your ass was propped up over Starscream’s arm in the air while your lower body was slumped against the cool metal of his personal desk. His other servo was busy pushing two of his digits into your wet hole.
“I’ve seen you take larger,” Starscream said smugly. “You have no business complaining about taking two of my fingers.”
You moaned as he scissored your hole open. You managed to take his digits down to the second joint and covered them in your dripping arousal. “I can’t believe how greedy you are,” Starscream scolded as he set a brutal pace fucking his fingers into you hard enough to push your body forward. “Speaking to Thundercracker like that,” Starscream huffed as you moaned out for him pathetically. “Is your human valve really so desperate to be filled you’d take any Cybertronian spike that came your way?”
You shook your head desperately. “No! No I only need yours!” Tears welled up in your eyes at the feeling of having your poor pussy brutalized by Starscream’s fingers. “Hm,” Starscream stopped pulverizing your sweet hole for a second to think. “I don’t believe you.” He added a third finger giving you no time to adjust as he returned to his previous pace.
“Please! I only want you!” You wailed feeling your wetness leaking around where his fingers plugged you. “Please!”
Starscream smirked at your reaction reveling in your pathetic form. “Prove it.”
He pulled his servo away from your body taking his fingers out of your slick hole with a schlick. Starscream brought his digits to his intake cleaning off your arousal with his glossa.
You panted watching him over your shoulder. His lascivious display did nothing to help you catch your breath. You turned your body over so you were on your back propping yourself up on your elbows with your legs spread.
Starscream simply sat back in his chair with a smirk plastered on his stupid, handsome face. You pouted at your lover completely furious with how smug he could be.
“Don’t tell me you’re already scared?” Starscream teased releasing his modesty plate with a hiss. His spike sprung to life slapping against his abdomen. You tried your best not to melt at the sight of his fully erect cock and kept your grimace firmly in place.
Starscream gave a firm stroke of his spike before frowning down at you. “I don’t think you want to learn what I do with brats,” he warned with a scowl.
“Takes one to know one,” you snap back with an all too proud smile.
You felt the air shift for the worse as Starscream’s turbines whirled loudly. He pounced slamming his hand down to grab you as you skittered backwards like a crab. “I shouldn’t have to put up with this attitude,” Starscream growled grabbing you around your waist. You shrieked at the sudden motion of being brought to Starscream’s lap.
His spike throbbed between your thighs as the tip beaded transfluid against your chest.
“I generously let you lay on my berth,” Starscream started as he pulled your body upwards so your cunt dragged along his spike. “I amuse your little human antics.” He pushed the tip of his spike against your clit letting his transfluid lubricate down your vulva. “And you still continue to behave like a brat!” Starscream reeled his hips back then pushed forwards stuffing the head of his spike inside of your hole.
You grabbed onto his wrists as your whole face scrunched up in pain. “I think for once I’m going to take what I want from this little organic valve,” Starscream purred with a sharp thrust. You cried out his name pressing the bottom of your feet against his thigh plating. “Such a lovely little hole to fuck,” Starscream said punctuating the last word with a deep rolling thrust.
He kept a steady rhythm using you like a toy. Your cries and squirming only did more to excite him. Your hole felt raw from his fingers previously abusing it and now his spike stretching you to your limit. Tears streamed down your face as you babbled out praises and cries of pain. Starscream seemed all too pleased with how you writhed against his spike. Your squishy body so tender in his servo he could crush you like a bug. The way you gushed and squeezed around his spike made his cooling fans sputter in bliss.
“Say it,” Starscream barked stilling his thrusts. You cried out in protest at him ceasing his movement. “Say that you’re my hole to overload in.”
You whine in embarrassment and softly repeat what he had said.
Starscream pinched your clit harshly earning a cry of pain from you. “Don’t test me, human,” Starscream growled. “Try again and be louder this time.”
“I’m your hole to overload in,” you said breathlessly. Starscream huffed still not satisfied. He flicked at your sensitive pussy making you yelp.
“I’m your hole to overload in!” Your voice rang out.
Satisfied with your display of submission, Starscream grabbed you around your waist and lifted your body up and down his spike. You went limp in his servo having every ounce of your being controlled by Starscream’s drive to cum in you. “I want you to thank me for interfacing with this filthy organic valve,” Starscream spat.
“Thank you Starscream!” You cried feeling yourself pushed far past your limits.
“Unlike you,” Starscream started with a grunt. “I don’t go around taking whatever spike comes my way.”
“I don’t-“
“Shut up,” Starscream barked. “As I was saying, I don’t just interface with anyone so you better feel special to even brush up against my interface panel.”
You nod giving breathless thanks to your lover. Starscream smirked all too satisfied with his fuck toy.
His spike twitched and writhed inside of your gripping cunt. The wet noises produced by your conjoined bodies mingled with your croaking thanks to have your pussy used by your lover made Starscream dizzy with lust. “I’m surprised how you managed to stay so tight,” Starscream hissed. He could feel his release crawling its way through his circuits. “With such a floozy lifestyle I was sure you’d be gaping for any spike that came your way.”
You cried out apologies and continued raining your gratitude onto Starscream. “I don’t want any spike but yours!” You cried feeling your lower body throb in ecstasy.
Starscream swore under his breath trying not to let his hips falter. His little human so beautifully submissive in his grasp. He could be as mean as he wanted to you and still control how you clench your thighs in arousal. “Tell me what you need,” Starscream panted his thrusts becoming erratic.
“Fill me,” you panted squirming in his iron grip. “Please! Fill me with your transfluid!”
Starscream whined your name pushing his spike into you frantically. His optics were squeezed shut as he sneered in pleasure. Your velvet walls were gripping him trying to milk him dry as transfluid spilled from his needy spike. Your combined juices leaked around where he plugged your hole. Starscream’s frantic thrusting didn’t cease until his lower body was shaking. You only shivered and groaned in delight at being so full. You could feel your womb stretching to accommodate the load your lover delivered deep into you.
Starscream’s fans blared in the silence of the room. His tired optics trained on your sweaty body. “My love,” Starscream panted giving you another thrust that made you cry. “Don’t act like I’m finished taking what I want from you just yet.”
#transformers#starscream#starscream x reader#starscream valveplug#starscream x reader valveplug#transformers x reader#transformers valveplug#valveplug#maccadam#transformers smut
583 notes
·
View notes
Text
perhaps it's because i'm also a football fan, and i'm so used to brushing off vitriol that's ever thriving because that's just the sport, but most of lando's haters are so fucking soft, it hurts to see.
you claim you want 'cunty f1' back, yet you constantly berate lando for being 'whiny' when things don't go his way. charles does the same thing, but because it's charles and he's more 'champion material' or whatever the fuck you guys say, you'll deem it as him being determined and wanting to push himself to the top.
lando doesn't say a thing, you'll claim he's not 'worthy of winning the championship because he's not competitive enough' and 'doesn't care'.
you call lando racist, and granted, what he said in miami was not favourable in the slightest, and i'll 100% hold him accountable for that, but let's not forget the fact that he's mentioned he doesn't like trump before in one of his streams, and how he took part in the blm demonstration (whether just for pr or not, i'll still take my liberties and allow this one to count as it was a public display). or how he's never displayed some sort of alliance with trump's convictions before trump was (out of lando's control) invited to miami.
you absolutely cannot sit there and be a max fan, but beneath the table shoot lando in the foot when max is heavily involved with a notoriously racist's daughter. and let's not even forget max being completely flippant and dismissive when asked about piquet calling lewis a racial slur.
at the end of the day, lando is only human, i will admit he has said things that don't put him in the greatest of lights, but we're all acting as if people haven't said worse. i could compare him to seb and say that vettel literally roamed the grid being public enemy number one for a long time, but people will say that they're not on the same level to be compared. and i agree, however we have to give lando the chance to get there and not criticize his journey in doing so.
let lando make mistakes, let him fumble, let him be whiny and bratty on the track, but let's remember he is second in the championship standings. yes, he's most likely not winning it, but it's honourable enough for someone who just won his first race this year.
we're so used to seeing people have such a confident, upfront attitude with the championship that when someone who isn't as self assured is 'contending', they're deemed as unworthy, no matter how hard they try. you can't expect someone to be perfect without giving them the room to become perfect.
#my two cents on all of this shithousery; ill disappear into the abyss now#and fear not if any anti comes under this post i will not hesitate to block and delete because i don't stoop to their level 🫶#lando norris#ln4#f1#formula 1
348 notes
·
View notes
Note
what is this whole jdpon thing and why do people call donald trump jdpon don
It's a Marxist, or more specifically, a Third Worldist theory which emphasises the socialist revolutionary ideals of the third world and holds that due to the reactionary attitude of the First world, and because of it's inherent hostility towards the working class of the Third world, the revolution can only be realized by the oppressed. A fringe Maoist group adhered to the idea that only third world communists can control and supervise the white settlers of the North American continent. JDPON stands for Joint dictatorship of the proletariat of Oppressed nations. Basially, that the dictatorship of the proletariat must be governed by the working class of the third world.
This is considered a reactionary type of marxist theory, because it places more emphasis on racial dynamics than class dynamics, essentially alienating the white working class rather than to assume class solidarity. Maoist third worldists believe that because these white settlers live in the imperial core, materialistically upholding the parasitical exploitation of the third world, they are assumed to be labour aristocrats..
The JDPON don meme is basically mocking Trump for his stupidity, because of his terrible domestic policies that seem to cause more harm to the US than benefit it as if he was some third worldist communist agent who was attempting to destroy the US from within.
206 notes
·
View notes