#quotes says i feel in love like you fall asleep: slowly then all at once

[misfithive]

The Fault in our Stars x Wilmon

[midastouch013]

Scars and All

Based on this request

Summary: You and Natasha have been dating for almost a year, and so what happens when you finally find out why things never get steamy

Warnings: Insecurity, Scars, Flashbacks of Redroom. Super soft Nat.

---

You and Natasha had been dating for close to a year now, having moved in a month ago to the floor Tony had given the both of you happy to see his, and you quote ' favourite spider' so in love, and though your relationship was incredible in so many ways, there was one aspect that sometimes caused a bit of frustration. Every time things got a little bit steamy, Natasha would freeze up. And every time it left you confused, more than before with every occurrence.

It happened again tonight. You were tangled up in each other, lips locked in a passionate kiss, hands exploring, when Natasha suddenly pulled back, her breath uneven.

"Stop," she whispered, her voice barely audible.

You froze, your heart pounding. You were frustrated, sure, but you respected Natasha enough to honor her wishes. With a heavy sigh, you pulled away, trying to hide your disappointment.

"Are you okay?" you asked softly, concern evident in your voice.

She nodded, avoiding your gaze. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just… not feeling it right now."

You couldn't help but feel disappointed, but you didn't want to show it. Instead, you forced a small smile and said, "Okay. I'm just gonna… take a cold shower then."

Without waiting for a response, you got up and made your way to the bathroom, leaving Natasha alone on the bed.

The cold water did little to wash away your disappointment. You couldn't shake the feeling of frustration, unable to understand why Natasha kept pulling away.

After what felt like an eternity under the icy spray, you finally turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. As you dried off and got dressed, you couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

When you emerged from the bathroom, you found Natasha lost in her own world, her eyes unfocused as she begged someone she had only told you about once, Madame B, not to hit her.

Your heart broke at the sight. You knew Natasha was reliving a moment from her past, a nightmare from her time in the Red Room. Without a second thought, you crossed the room and enveloped her in a tight hug, hoping to ground her in the present, having it done many times previously.

"Nat, it's me," you whispered, your voice soft and soothing. "You're safe now. You're with me."

Slowly, Natasha's breathing began to steady, and the tension in her body started to ease. She clung to you, burying her face in the crook of your neck as she struggled to break free from the memories that haunted her.

You held her close, whispering words of comfort and reassurance until she finally began to relax in your arms.

After Natasha falls asleep in your arms, you gently tuck her under the covers, making sure she's comfortable. With a lingering glance, you quietly slip out of the room, closing the door softly behind you.

You make your way downstairs and pull out your phone, dialing Yelena's number. She picks up after a couple of rings.

"Hey," she says, her voice filled with concern. "Is everything okay?"

You hesitate for a moment, not sure how to explain what just happened with Natasha.

"Not really," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. "Nat had a flashback… to the Red Room, I think."

There's a pause on the other end of the line before Yelena speaks again. "Is she okay now?"

"Yeah, she's sleeping," you reply. "But… I don't know what to do, Yelena. Every time things start to get… intimate, she freezes up. I can't shake the feeling that it's connected somehow."

There's a thoughtful silence before Yelena speaks again. "Does my sestra shower with the door closed?"

You frown, confused by the seemingly random question. "Uh, yeah, she does. Why?"

Yelena hums thoughtfully. "And does she ever… mention anything about about her post-missions "

Your heart skips a beat as the pieces start to click into place. "No, she doesn't even let me see her till she's in pajamas. Why?"

Yelena lets out a heavy sigh. "Look, I think… Y/n, you're pretty smart, so I'm surprised I have to be telling you this, but my sister is insecure about something. And maybe, just maybe, that's why she keeps pulling away."

"But what insecurity?" you question," She-"

Before you can say anything else, Yelena interrupts you. "Sorry, I have to go. Kate's calling me. Just… be there for her, okay? She needs you."

After Yelena hangs up, more incidents with Natasha flash through your mind. Little moments that, when looked at together, begin to form a pattern. And suddenly, it hits you like a ton of bricks. Natasha's insecurity is about her scars.

Just as you're connecting the dots, Natasha comes downstairs to grab something to eat. Wordlessly, you grab her by the hips and lift her up.

"Hey, what are you doing?" she squeals, trying to wriggle out of your grasp.

Ignoring her protests, you carry her back upstairs to your room. Once there, you gently set her down on the edge of the bed, ignoring her playful protests.

"Okay, seriously, what's going on?" she asks, confusion evident in her voice.

You don't answer right away. Instead, you kneel down on the floor in front of her, taking her hands in yours.

"Tasha, I love you," you begin, your voice steady. "And I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything. I know… I know that something happened tonight, something that triggered a flashback. And I think… I think I know what it is."

Natasha's eyes widen in surprise, and for a moment, she looks like she might bolt. But then she takes a deep breath and meets your gaze.

"You do?" she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

You nod, squeezing her hands gently while taking a deep breath, trying to find the right words to say. "Natasha, do you not like your scars?" you ask gently.

Natasha's defenses go up immediately, and she tries to deflect the situation with humor. "What, these old things?" she says, gesturing to her scars with a forced smirk. "Just battle wounds, nothing to worry about."

But you're firm in your resolve. You don't let her deflect this time. "Nat, please," you say, your voice pleading. "I need you to be honest with me."

She sighs, the forced smile slipping from her face. "Fine," she says, her voice barely above a whisper. "Fine, you want the truth? I hate them, okay? I hate the way they look. I hate what they remind me of."

Your heart breaks at her words, but you keep your voice steady. "Why, Nat? Why do you hate them so much?"

And then she confesses, her words tumbling out in a rush. "Because I'm afraid, okay? I'm afraid that when you see them, you'll finally realize that you're dating a monster. A cold-blooded murderer. I'm afraid that you'll look at me and see nothing but a killer. And I love you so much, and I don't want to lose you. But I'm afraid that these scars will scare you away. That I don't look… sexy with my scars and all."

Tears fill her eyes as she speaks, and you feel your heart breaking all over again.

You feel a surge of anger and hurt at Natasha's admission. How could she think of herself like that? And how could she think that you would ever see her that way?

"You really think that?" you say, your voice coming out a bit harsher than you intended. "That I would see you like that? That I would ever think of you as a monster? God, Natasha, how could you even think that?"

Natasha flinches at your words, and for a moment, you regret the harshness of your tone. But then you take a deep breath and soften your voice.

"I'm sorry, It wasn't supposed to sound so rude, but… I get it, Nat," you continue, your voice gentle now. "I get that you're scared. And I understand why you feel that way. Even if I've not been through what you've been through, I'd like to think that I get it. But you need to know that I love you, scars and all. And I would never, ever think of you as anything less than amazing."

You feel Natasha's arms tighten around you, and you know that she's listening, really listening, to what you're saying.

"And another thing," you add, your voice firm now. "You need to stop calling yourself those hateful things. You are not a monster, Natasha. You are not a cold-blooded murderer. You are a hero, you are the role model to millions of kids out there, and you're my girlfriend. There's no way in hell could you be what you claim to be. Don't you ever forget that."

Natasha doesn't say anything in response, and for a moment, you worry that you've pushed her too far. But then she pulls back slightly, her eyes meeting yours.

"Thank you," she whispers, her voice barely above a whisper. "Thank you for… for loving me, scars and all."

You shush her with a gentle finger to her lips. " What have I told you about that?" you ask in a tutting tone.

She chuckled breathily, a faint smile on her face " Never thank you unless I don't want dinner that night"

You look into Natasha's eyes, your heart overflowing with love and reassurance. Without saying a word, you lift her (Well yours, but anything that was yours was hers) t-shirt and leant in to press a gentle kiss to one of her scars, then another, and another, until you'd kissed each one.

Each kiss is an act of reassurance, a silent declaration of how beautiful and attractive you find her scars. And with each kiss, you feel Natasha's tension slowly melting away, replaced by a sense of peace and acceptance.

When you finally pull back, Natasha is looking at you with tear-filled eyes, a small smile playing at the corners of her lips.

"I love you" she whispers, her voice filled with emotion.

" I love you more"

"Willing to bet on it?"

--

[random-twst-things]

Twst housewarderns as romantic quotes I found

Characters include: Riddle, Leona, Azul, Kalim, Vil, Idia, and our beautiful malleus

Tw: Tooth rotting fluff (?)

Authors note: These love poems and quotes can vary from TV shows, movies, or just poems written by poem writers.

Ngl, I was blushing while finding one for him, 🧍🏽‍♀️

I feel like he really tries to be romantic for you

And he just wants you to know that he really does love you

"You are my heart, my life, my one and only thought."

-Arthur Conan Doyle, The White Company

He can be a real romantic if he really wants to be

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once."

-John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

But, if he isn't trying to be REAL cheesy (his words not mine), I think he may say this instead?

"I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible. But I want to spend every irritating minute with you."

-Unknown

*inhales* This man right here is gonna show you how much he loves you (which is A LOT)

“and if the devil was to ever see you, he’d kiss your eyes and repent.”

-Farouq Jwaydeh

I feel like he could relate to this poem because deep down, he knows he isn't the best man or person

This guy is so sweet omg

He just IDK!?

This is definitely his family he's referring to when he says "They" saw YOU

"I hadn't told them about you,

But they saw you bathing in my eyes.

I hadn't told them about you,

But they saw you in my written words.

The perfume of love cannot be concealed."

- Nizar Qabbani

This beautiful man will tell you a beautiful poem

I have two types of poems, which I think he would say to you

"I'll be loving you, always woth a love that that's true"

- Patsy Cline, Always

Or maybe

"I wasn't expecting you. I didn't think that we would end up together. The single most extraordinary thing I've ever done with my life is fall in love with you. I've never been seen so completely, loved so passionately, and protected so fiercely. "

- Beth Pearson

Yeah, he isn't gonna say this poem in person

He'll probably send it through text or smth

Still love him tho

"I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you"

- Baby, Dirty Dancing

*sighs dreamily* Malleus

I just KAHSKAJAJAJS

they asked, "Do you love her to death?"

I said, "speak of her over my grave and watch how she brings me back to life"

- Mahmoud Darwish

This poem is him and he is this poem

You can't convince otherwise

[agentstarkid]

This little story turns one year old this July 31st!

We hopped with Girlie on a rollercoaster of finding (true) love, being quarantined in a foreign country, lots of internet meanies, making new friends, angst, heartbreak, depresh sesh, finding love again and so much more to come -- What a wild journey it's been, and I'm so proud I took the leap!

Looking back a year ago, I can't believe how far this story and I have come. I remember being so full of uncertainty and nerves to post that first chapter, and now, a whole year later, I'm writing little blurbs and one-shots in a whole different language to my main one.

And to celebrate this milestone with you guys, the DAN-Y/N stans out there, and as a thank you for all these 365 days of support and love to Danielito & Girlie's love story—a.k.a. my baby—, I put together a list of dialogue prompts from where you can pick one—or as many as you'd like—and send it to me so I can write a little blurb to go with it!

You can request a specific moment on the fic you'd like to see more (c'mooooon, they were together for 2 whole years! Let's see if you've been paying attention hehe), or just make a general request with a quote of your choice (or you can suggest one! Can't promise much on this, but I'd try my best to bring it to life, unless it is smut. I can't write smut for shitzels yet soz).

I'll be accepting resquests for the next 2 weeks!

✧. ┊ Series Masterlist

P.S. Fingers crossed next month I can—finally—post a new chapter! Adult life has been kicking my ass these past months so please be patient with me! — But my inbox is always open to talk! :)

— All the dialogue sources are linked!

“These are way too many, omg, I’m being squeezed by these pillows, love!” “Well I just, you know, thought that since you like to hold on to me while you sleep but we can’t do that right now, I decided to bring you all these.” “Aww, I appreciate it, baby, but would you mind moving some? And even though I do have these, I will miss your warmth beside me.” 

“You weren’t uncomfortable back there, right? I just wanted to make sure you were all right.” “No, no, I wasn’t. Thank you for doing that.”

"You had no business looking that good back there."

"Those could be our kids one day." "What...?" 

“They don’t know you, love. They don’t know how much we love each other. Let them think what they want to. It doesn’t matter, you know why? Because you are enough. We are enough.”

“I don’t want you to be perfect, sweetheart. I want you to be who you are.”

“I…I wasn’t sure if you’d like this, so I just bought all the colors they had there.”

“Stoooop. Stop making me all…” “All… what?”

“Sorry. I just... like seeing that I have an effect on you, I guess.”

“Life would suck complete testicles if it weren’t for you.” 

“I like seeing you this way. so… at ease. makes me wonder how anyone could ever purposely put you under stress and live with themselves afterwards.”

"I know you're struggling right now, and it's okay, okay? We'll get through this."

“With you, I see a forever I’ve never envisioned before. Not that I didn’t want to, it’s more because I wasn’t able to… At least until I met you.”

“God, I really don’t want to leave”.

“I’m so deftly terrified of falling in love. Because what if I end up with a broken heart? That thought itself is just so scary to me. I want to, but I can’t get over that fear.” “Then how about you let me be that first step you take into falling in love? I can help you get over that fear, if you’d let me.” 

“People say they fall in love like they fall asleep — slowly, then all at once. But the way I fell for you can only be described as that feeling when you’re drifting off to sleep, only to feel like you’re falling, oh-so-suddenly. So suddenly that it ends up startling you awake; heart racing in your chest because it feels like you fell off the precipice of a cliff. It’s quick and sudden, and there’s no slowness to it. It’s a crash and burn type of love that I feel.”

“They say the second time’s the charm.” “Was the first time not charming enough for you?” “No, but the second time’s going to be even better, I promise.” 

“If people can hate for no reason,  then I can love for no reason too.”

“I dunno who taught you that love comes with conditions and limitations, but mine doesn’t. Not when it’s you.”

“I don’t know how to ask for help i just— I’ve never had anyone to ask for help from before.  so…this is me trying i guess.  I need it and i’m afraid to ask for it.  That's the best I can do.”

“You really think a relationship should be that hard?” “No one writes songs about the ones that come easy.”

“If you don’t kiss me, right now…” “Then what?” “Then I will have to do it myself.”

"I think destiny wants us to be together, and you should never argue with destiny.”

“What do you think is our song?”

“I can’t concentrate, when you look at me like that.” “Well, you should be concentrating on me instead, so…”

“Sing for me.” “What would you like to hear?”

“I feel like I can breathe better with you around.”

“You’re much better off without me.” “You’re not the judge of that.”

“I love you, okay?! And I can’t stay in your life when I’m just ruining it.” “You can’t just say that and don’t wait for me to answer.”

“Your mom is coming over today.” “Tell her to bring fried rice or she’s not invited.” “You tell her, she’s your mom.” “But she likes you more!”

“Wait, you can’t swim?” “I was always more into sports on land where, you know, I can’t drown.” “I will teach you!”

“Every night before bed I write three good things that happened to me. And every night I find myself writing down your name.”

“God, don’t do that. You’re going to make me go on Santa’s naughty list tonight.”

“This heart belongs to you, and only you. And I’d hope you want to keep it for a very, very long time.”

“What matters isn’t the place, but the person you’re with at that place. So this is to say, being with you is enough for me. So long as you are there, then all is well.”

“If you don’t wanna spend the night in a empty house, you could always come over to mine.” 

"Hey, i think i can fit over here in this corner." "What are you, a plant?" "Maybe. you shine on me every day, after all."

“I don’t know what the future holds. all i know is that i hope you’re in it. “

“Annoying you is what I’m best at.”

“You get to curl up in my lap, and I get to watch a cinematic masterpiece in peace and quiet. i think this is a pretty sweet deal.”

“This is your home, just as it is mine.”

“That was your master plan? Really?” “No, my master plan was having no plan actually.”

“When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice into your enemies’ eyes and watch them whimper.”

“Maybe i'm too late to be your first, but right now, i'm preparing myself to be your last.”

“Over everything, I choose you.”

“You’ve given me so many memories, I'd hate it if you become one”

“I hope you heal from the things you dont wanna talk about”

“I was gonna marry her…”

“Because you always been my ticket home…”

“Have you ever gone stargazing?” “yeah, i’ve seen your eyes a few times.”

"Oh God- why are you half-naked?" "nothing you haven't seen before, love" "it's freezing, go put on a shirt-" "Nah, you can warm me up." 

“You never have to fear that you’re losing me.”

“Aw, you brought out the smile.” “Which smile?” “The one reserved for the people you love.” “How could you even tell?” “Because that’s how you smile at me.”

“No, you’re not allowed to smile at me like that.”

“This is not some predestined soulmate shit or fate or whatever. I love you all on my own. Because you’re awesome and because I want to.”

“You know, I prefer you naked, but that dress also looks breathtaking on you.”

“Believe in the me that believes in you”

“Work can wait. You need rest.”

“I got the recipe from your mom, i hope i did it justice.”

“I think i deserve a cuddle for letting you stick your icy little feet on me all night.”

“Ok…so, umm I made this playlist for our first month anniversary. I hope it’s not too bad!” “Omg, this is- I can’t believe it! I always wanted someone to make me a playlist!” 

“You already are a handful. Together, you guys are insufferable.”

“I’m right here.”

“Careful, or I will fall for you.” “You’ll be fine. I’ll buy you some knee pads.” “Knee pads but no helmet?” “If you’re falling for me, you’ve already taken a hit to the head.”

“Uh-oh.” “What’s wrong?” “That’s their ‘oh, you messed with the wrong bitch, bitch’ face.”

“You look like an idiot.” “You know, other people would say it’s nice to see me so happy. Or that I have a beautiful smile.”

“I’ve never seen you this happy before.”

“(Congrats.) You’re one of us now.”

“Please, never apologise for wanting to be loved.”

“Come on. I’ll show you how to dance”

"Are you still mad at me? I mean, it's okay if you are. I'm mad at myself, too."

"Put your head on my lap and sleep a little."

 “I don’t want to go to bed angry…can we please talk about this?” 

“Your cheeks are really soft.” “Stop squishing them!”

“You didn’t have to do anything…” “But i wanted to.”

[blkkizzat]

would you ever consider writing soft Toji? like Toji who did a complete 180 when he met you?

Short Answer: Hmm...I think it would depend on how 180 tbh. I feel like any softness Toji would show would be more subtle then the overt displays of affection or affirmation you'd get with Nanami or Choso. In that sense, I have shown glimpses of affection for reader with a softer Toji in a few fics of mine. ex. Toji's acceptance of reader and her hobbies/kinks in toji x smutwriter!reader. Or in werewolf toji even though he's not being completely honest with you, the plans hes been laying shows his commitment to you. Or in my multi-char fluff halloween fic, Toji harbors jealousy and feelings of not being good enough knowing you used to date gojo. Long Answer:

But I'm a firm believer in meeting people where they are at. I don't think it's very realistic to start dating someone and have them completely change for you, but you can inspire people to be better versions of themselves—however the decision is still more on them.

That isn't to say I think Toji is a one-dimensional asshole and can't be soft—on the contrary I think he is very complex. But I think a 180 right when he meets you isn't something I could really get into. So much of his character is based on the fact he is in constant survival mode.

Although there are plenty of amazing toji x reader stories that are based on more passionate meets like enemies/bully to lovers, etc. On a more practical and ordinary note, it would be a slower burn.

I just think with Toji, that would take time and be kind of rocky to start, but you'd have to slowly but surely domesticate him. He's like the booty call guy who fucks you so good he starts coming over more and more. Ending up staying longer and longer each time. Then he starts helping you out: to fix your sink, take you to get a quote on a new car so they don't rip you off and then grabbing a bite/beer with you after. Before you even realize it, he's stayed over a week and you just watched a whole 6 hour Netflix series on the couch together all night while Megumi is asleep in the other room.

All that said, because he is the way he is with his baggage and trauma, I think it makes for a more engaging dynamic with reader. This way the bonds you build are stronger as you know when he whispers, I love you into your hair once he thinks you've fallen asleep and can't hear you—he really fucking means it.

I do have a virgin!toji x reader fic coming up thats more angsty and although he still damaged by his family, hes not completely closed off by any means. Him and the reader serve as a comfort to each other before they fall for each other.

Also my yakuza!Toji fic coming up yeah he's stalking you and yandere as hell but he's still soft in the way his main motivations are wanting to take care of you and for you to be his wife.

Writing Toji this way is much more interesting to me. No offense, to anyone who writes/prefers him different.

Hopefully you see where I am coming from a bit more nonny! Ty for asking. I love talking about characterizations literally could have went on for hours LOL

[sona-verse01]

PAC

CHANNELLED LOVE QUOTES & SONGS

Take deep breath, and choose the picture/number that calls you.

Quotes from your Future spouse/partner (not your crush).

Disclaimer:

Images/quotes/songs are not mine. Found on internet.

Since, I am very bad in writing quotes, I channel messages & feelings, then search for suitable quotes on internet, that have same message.

Some quotes are a part of a song or poem. Others are written by writers.

Quotes are chosen on the basis of your FS/FP's energy, feelings & messages.

For entertainment purpose.

Don't copy/steal/translate my work.

Songs are in Indian languages, so if you don't understand that language, you can look for translation or just leave it.

Pile 1

Quotes:

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once."

"Hit me like a ray of sun, Burning through my darkest night. You're the only one that I want, Think I'm addicted to your light."

"If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk through my garden forever."

"He's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same."

"Take me into your loving arms, Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars, Place your head on my beating heart, I'm thinking out loud, Maybe we found love right where we are."

"Being with you and not being with you is the only way I have to measure time."

"Grow old along with me; the best is yet to be."

"Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite."

"Because of you, I laugh a little harder, cry a little less, and smile a lot more."

"I like to be alone. But I would rather be alone with you."

Songs:

Pile 2

Quotes:

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height, My soul can reach."

"Cause all of me loves all of you. Love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections."

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

"Absence is to love as wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small and kindles the great."

"I carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)."

'"How do you spell 'love'?" - Piglet. "You don't spell it...you feel it." - Pooh'

"I may not be your first date, kiss or love... but I want to be your last everything."

"One day, we'll never have to say goodbye, just good night."

"When you smile at me you brighten up my day more than the sun ever could."

"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

Songs:

Pile 3

Quotes:

"Baby it's you. You're the one I love, You're the one I need, You're the only one I see."

"When I say I love you more, I don't mean I love you more than you love me. I mean I love you more than the bad days ahead of us, I love you more than any fight we will ever have. I love you more than the distance between us, I love you more than any obstacle that could try and come between us. I love you the most."

"Maybe I don't know that much but I know this much is true, I was blessed because I was loved by you."

"Love is missing someone when you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in the heart."

"You don't love someone for their looks, or their clothes or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear."

"Love is friendship set on fire and you are my spark."

"If I know what love is, it is because of you."

"I hope you don't mind that I put down in words, How wonderful life is while you're in the world."

"Come live in my heart and pay no rent."

"Together with you is my favorite place to be."

Songs:

Pile 4

Quotes:

"Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'"

"Life is a flower of which love is the honey."

"Don't want to close my eyes, I don't want to fall asleep, 'Cause I'd miss you baby, and I don't want to miss a thing."

"Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze."

"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul."

"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."

"Love is a friendship set to music."

"For the two of us, home isn't a place. It is a person. And we are finally home."

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."

"Love is not only something you feel, it is something you do."

Songs:

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© @sp22sworld - All Rights Reserved

[letitiaslabyrinth]

DIDN'T DESERVE

A/N: this did not turn out the way i expected it too at all. anyways ignore all mistakes cause this aint proof read word count: 1.7k+

“Shuri, how come you ain’t tell me where you was last night?” Shuri's girlfriend, Imani said, irritation in her voice.

Shuri shrugs. “I was with Riri-”

Imani rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Of course you was with her. The two of yall might as well date with the amount of times yall see each other.”

“Baby, what are you talking about?”

“You spend more time with your,” She makes air quotes, “‘best friend’ than you do your girlfriend, Shuri. You don’t see an issue with that?”

Shuri was confused. Yeah, her and Riri spent time together but they didn’t spend that much time together, right? Whether the answer was yes or not, Shuri loved Imani and would choose her over anyone and everyone.

“I’m sorry, Ima. I’ll spend more time with you, I promise. How about we go on a date tonight?”

Imani brushed her off, still annoyed. “I don’t wanna go out, Shuri, I want you to stop hanging out with Riri. Period.”

“Okay,” Shuri says with no hesitation. She wants to make her girlfriend happy and if that means she and Riri can’t hang out anymore then so be it.

“Good.” Imani kisses Shuri on the forehead and goes to the bathroom.

Shuri’s phone goes off twice. They’re messages from Riri. Shuri doesn’t bother reading them when she types: “We can’t hang out anymore.” and blocks Riri’s number. It stung her heart a little bit but what else could Shuri do? Imani’s her first girlfriend and she just wants to keep her happy.

Shuri gets up from the couch and goes to the kitchen. She opens the pantry, taking out a bag of Doritos and opens the fridge, taking out a carton of juice. She pours some in a cup before putting it back and making her way to the living room. She sets her snack and drink down and turns on the T.V. She falls asleep waiting for Imani to come out the bathroom.

When Shuri wakes up, she can feel a hand running through her hair. She looks up and it’s Imani.

“You sleep good?” She asks.

Shuri hums, stretching slightly. “What time is it?”

Imani checks her phone, “6:32, why?”

“I have a meeting with the council at 7.” Shuri groans and gets up slowly. She finishes her juice from earlier and kisses Imani on the forehead. “I’ma go get ready. I’ll see you later tonight?”

“I made plans so prolly not,” Imani says and goes back on her phone.

Shuri’s the first one in the throne room, as usual, but Riri was close behind her.

“Shuri, can we talk?” She says, pulling Shuri to the side.

“No. Didn’t you get my text?”

“No, I did, I’m just wondering why I got it. And so outta the blue, too. Did something happen?”

“Nothing happened, Riri. I just don’t want any kind of relationship with you that isn’t strictly professional. Aren’t we only supposed to be colleagues, anyway?”

“Seriously? Shuri, you can't be serious right now! Are you at least gonna tell me what I did?”

Shuri notices some of the Elders coming in. “Leave it alone, Williams. I’ve said what I’ve said.” She walks away and sits on the throne, waiting for the other Elders to come in. 

They discussed the safety of Wakanda, the Panther and Ironheart suits, and the new buildings that were being constructed in Wakanda. Then Shuri went to the lab to work for hours.

It was around 11pm when Shuri made it back to her and Imani’s place and she was tired. She was expecting to find Imani in bed but she had forgotten that she said she’d made plans. The apartment was dark and lonely without another person there. Shuri didn’t like it. She turned on all the lights and put on a random show for some background noise while she took a shower. It was 11:30 when she was done. She was so exhausted from today that she didn’t even bother changing into clothes. Once her body touched that bed, that was it, lights out. 

“Shuri!” Shuri wakes up to Imani shaking her. “The bed is wet because of you! How am I supposed to sleep!?”

“The couch,” Shuri deadpans. Imani waited for Shuri to say she was joking but she wasn’t. It’s not like there was anywhere else for her to sleep other than on the couch.

“Why don’t you sleep on the couch?” Imani says, rolling her eyes.

Shuri groans and sits up on her elbows. She looks at the clock on her bedside table then back at Imani. “It’s 2 in the morning right now, Ima. I am tired. There’s no point in me moving when you’re the one complaining. You said the ‘whole bed’ is wet so go sleep on the couch.” And with that, she turns her back to Imani and goes back to sleep, ignoring the angry muttering from her girlfriend.

It had been about a week and a half since Shuri told Imani to sleep on the couch that night but Imani took it personally and has been sleeping on the couch ever since. Shuri didn’t even remember what she said since she was so tired but she assumed it was bad since her and Imani have barely even been talking unless they absolutely have to.

“Are you hungry?” Shuri asked Imani from the kitchen. No response. Shuri rolled her eyes and went over to her girlfriend, standing in front of her. “Can you just tell me why you’re ignoring me?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because you should remember. It’s not my fault your memory is shit.”

“And it’s not my fault that you’re having this one-sided ass fight over something I don’t even fucking remember, Imani. We're dating, aren’t we? We’re supposed to be able to talk to one another when we have issues but instead you're pushing me away and ignoring me.”

“You were rude and inconsiderate, Shuri. You slept in the middle of the bed, with your towel on, making the bed wet, and then you told me to sleep on the couch.”

Shuri sat down, rubbing her eyebrow. “So, where exactly were you planning on sleeping, again?”

“What?”

“I mean, I’m just saying. From what you just told me, the entire bed was wet, somehow, so where did you actually plan on sleeping?”

“It’s not what you said, Shuri, it’s how you fucking said it. You didn’t even care about me enough to sleep on your side of the damn bed.”

“I was in a meeting from 7 to 11 pm, Imani. I was tired and you woke me up to complain so my bad for my tone?”

“Oh, please, what’s oh, so, tiring about sitting down and talking about things that need to be fixed or done in Wakanda?”

“It wasn’t just the meeting, Imani. I also had to go to the lap and fix some things on my and Riri’s suit-”

“Oh, really?” Imani scoffed, “So, what? Riri can’t fix her own damn suit now?”

“She doesn’t live here, Imani. She came here for one week for personal reasons, not to work.”

“She could’ve carried the suit behind her and worked on it from that scrappy lil garage of hers in Chicago.”

“I told her months ago that her suit cannot leave Wakanda, which you would know if you actually listened to me when I talked.”

“I listen when you talk, Shuri. It’s you who never listens to me and what I say. The fact that you’re still doing ‘favors’ for Riri proves that.”

“Excuse me? Me fixing the very creation that I helped her make isn’t me helping her. Me and Riri haven't even spoken since I told we can’t hang out anymore, so you can go somewhere else with that misinformation.”

“I don’t appreciate this tone of yours.”

“And I don’t appreciate how you’ve treated me like shit our entire fucking relationship,” Shuri starts, “Everything you ask of me, I do, and I mean everything, Imani. But it’s like, no matter what I do for you it’s never enough. You told me to stop hanging out Riri and I did but you just have to find a reason to get pissed off about something that barely even fucking concerns her and it’s irritating. You might as well be obsessed with the girl with the way you know so much shit about her and me.”

Imani stands up. “Shuri, if you keep talking to me like I’m one of your little fan girls, you gon lose me as a girlfriend, I promise.”

“Nobodys stopping you from leaving,” Shuri shrugs. She’s been through too much bullshit from this woman to even care anymore. “Leave.”

Imani scoffs and goes to pack her things.

“Leave your key on the way out, too,” Shuri says, getting up and leaving.

Today was the last day Riri was in Wakanda and Shuri had to make things right before she lost the best friend she’s ever had in her life. 

Shuri knocks on Riri’s door, thankful that she hadn’t left yet when she heard her say, “One minute!” Riri opens the door a few seconds later, her face dropping immediately when she realizes it was Shuri. 

“What do you want?” Riri says, folding her arms across her chest.

“I wanted to apologize.” Riri’s face softens slightly. “I shouldn’t have chosen Imani over you, especially when I’ve known you longer than I have her. I know what I did was stupid, Ri, and I’m sorry. Imani was my first girlfriend and I was willing to do anything for her love and her approval, even if that meant cutting out the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You didn’t deserve to be ghosted by me like that and I should’ve explained things weeks ago at the meeting but I was scared Imani would find out and break up with me and I know that’s no excuse but I really am sorry, Riri.”

Just as Riri was about to speak, another voice came from inside her room. “Ri, who is it?” They yell.

“No one, Aniyah!” She yells back. Riri turns back to Shuri, “I appreciate the apology, Shuri, I really do, but you’re a week too late. I don’t want anything to do with you after what you did.” And with that, she closes the door, leaving Shuri rethinking her entire life choices.

[itaehynz]

INFRUNAMI !

THIRTY • WE DID IT

★ wc: 3.5k words!

☆ warning(s): fluff, kisses (small pecks & stuff), tears may fall.

STILL ON THE PHONE WITH CHAEYOUNG, you continuously talk about what you plan on wearing tomorrow for your "date" with yeonjun. she's been saying yes to every outfit that you've showed but only one really stood out to her. as you notice how she reacted once you tried on that one, you carefully ask "do you think i should wear this one?", she stares back at you through her camera with the hugest grin on her face. "you most definitely SHOULD wear that", she says making sure her liking for the outfit is clear as day.

"okay, i'm gonna go with this one then," you say before huffing slightly as a joke. chaeyoung begins clapping & whistling as if you were one of her favorite performers singing her favorite song. you giggle at her reaction finding it funny how she's way more excited over this date than you are.

you grab a couple of clothing hangers before hanging your clothes on your closet door making sure you know exactly where your outfit is once you wake up. you begin to straighten out your bed & start walking out your room to the bathroom to go brush your teeth & prepare yourself for bed.

"chae, do you think yeonjun'll ask me to be his partner?" you say with utmost curiosity in your tone. chaeyoung hums slightly before saying, "i honestly don't know, you know yeonjun better than me, but the only thing i can really promise you is that when he's ready to ask you he most definitely will."

you smile a little but quickly stop smiling as you grab your phone & walk back into your room. you began to make yourself comfortable and ready for bed before telling chaeyoung that you're beginning to feel a little bit tired. she hums once again & tells you that you can go to sleep but make sure to call her in the morning before getting ready for your "date".

you start to bid her a goodnight while you both begin saying your 'i love you's' & 'sleep well's' before hanging up the phone, putting it on the charger & setting an alarm before drifting off to sleep for the day you have ahead of you.

—

(12:00pm)

waking up to the sound of an alarm blaring in your ears at 12:00pm is not the best thing in the world, but atleast you're seeing yeonjun today. you take your time waking up because yeonjun said he's picking you up around six thirty, which gives you just enough time to make yourself look your absolute best. you walk to your kitchen to grab something small to eat whilst you watch a little bit of the newest season of 'alice in borderland'.

midway through the first episode, you reach for your phone to call chaeyoung like she had asked of you. you open your contacts to press her number & set up your phone on the coffee table carefully. while watching it ring you start to think that she might still be asleep, but knowing her she most definitely is asleep.

but, even though chaeyoung is someone who LOVES sleep… she does also enjoy going out & hanging out with her peers for a while, which is why she loves the quote, 'we're here for a good time, not a long time.'

as you're processing your thoughts, chaeyoung finally picks up the phone. speaking in her always cool & casual tone, she says to you "hey hey yn! how'd you sleep bae?". you automatically snap out of your thoughts once you hear the sound of chaeyoung. you smile at her, "hiii chae, i slept well thank you for asking bae bae, i'm a little nervous for today though..." you say before your smile slowly starts fading away & having a face slight sadness take over your previously carefree expression.

chaeyoung sighs and starts to think about what she can possibly be said to you without being too harsh or careless, "ynnnn, please stop worrying about later on, it's all gonna go well. i can promise you that, take deep breaths & release yourself of all tension within you before leaving your house okay? everything will be fiiiiine~" she says with a genuine smile which makes you smile.

chaeyoung is one of the main people that looks out for you, making sure you're always okay when you start getting a little anxious, like right now. you've always loved her for that. chaeyoung laughs a little when she sees your goofy smile & you start laughing as well.

it's been a couple hours into the call & it's seeming to be around the time you need to start getting ready. you begin walking upstairs to the bathroom outside of your room to brush your teeth, maybe do your makeup and whatever else you need to. chaeyoung's making herself lunch & you ask her what she plans on making, "a small salad with a sandwich— i'm not too hungry as of right now but i just wanna eat something so i don't starve, you know?", she says as you respond to her with a slight hum and go back to rinsing your face.

—

( 5:23pm )

chaeyoung's already finished her sandwich & you've finished putting everything on, as of now you're just adding some finishing touches, making sure everything's good. you ask chae if you look okay and which she obviously says yes to how nice to you look.

you're sitting in your living room watching ep3 of 'alice in borderland' as you receive a message from yeonjun. your eyes slowly skim over the message which says,

jun! 🫧: is it okay if i pick you up sooner? i had everything prepared faster than i expected 😭

you smile at that & respond back quickly.

yn: yes ofc, no worries i'm ready anyway!

he hearts your message before typing back & saying,

jun! 🫧: okay great i'll be there at 5:40? is that okay?

yn: yes that's fine, i'll be right here waiting for you 🤗

you type back before placing down your phone & smiling to yourself.

"why're you smiliiiing, was it yeonjun?" chaeyoung says with a smirk on her face. "how did you know it was him what the hell," "c'mon who are you talking to you right now, yn?" "you're right" you say before laughing slightly. "he said he'll pick me up at 5:40," you say while checking the time, reading 5:38. "soooo, he should actually be here in a few?" chae says with a slight smile on her face. "yeah he'll be pulling in front in a littl—" you say before getting cut off by the honk of a car outside of your house, which is who you're expecting— yeonjun.

"OH, hang up the phone yn & go hang out with your future boyfriend, i'll talk to you later!", chaeyoung says while smirking and raising her eyebrows at you. "okaaaay, i'll talk to you later chaeeee", you say before hanging up and grabbing your coat to leave the house.

once your coat's on, you make sure to go turn off all of the lights & begin taking your leave to go to yeonjun's car.

as you walk out your house, you see yeonjun roll down the passenger's seat window waving at you with a huge smile on his face. you wave back with a smile & open the passenger's seat door before quickly getting in. you both reach out to hug each other before yeonjun locks the car & begins driving off to your awaited destination.

—

after around 40-45 minutes, you've arrived at the very long awaited location & see that it's a little cottage with fairy lights and flowers decorating the outside. yeonjun comes around the car to open the door for you and you step out of the car in pure awe. you cannot believe what you're seeing. 'yeonjun really showed out, oh my gosh' you think to yourself before you look over at yeonjun with your lips slightly parted & wide eyes.

you look back over to the cottage before saying, "yeonjun, this is... wow". he slightly chuckles at your reaction, "is that a good wow or a bad wow?" "don't be stupid." you say with a slightly serious expression. "of course it's a good wow yeonjun, this is beautiful." "ohhh okay, now let's go inside before the food gets cold!" he says to you before grabbing your hand and starts running toward the cottage while dragging you along with him.

if you thought the outside of the cottage was beautiful, you should've seen the inside. the wall was decorated with the polaroids of you guys together that your mothers have taken throughout your childhood years, more fairy lights on the inside, a picnic blanket laid down with a wooden picnic basket sitting on it & to top it all off, cute little fake candles. yeonjun made everything so beautiful, it can't help but bring you to the question, 'will i be his partner by the end of tonight?'... and the answer to your question will be unknown until the end of this night.

you and yeonjun have now fully walked in the cottage. you both choose to sit across from each other and start talking a little. you notice that there's a small bag next to him & can't help but ask him what's in it, "it's some games that we can play if you want to! i figured you wouldn't wanna start eating immediately so i brought some stuff for us to do just in case," he says. you flash him a gentle smile before saying you'd love to play games as he picks up the bag & hooks up a nintendo switch to the tv you didn't even know was there. "since when did you have a switch?" "oh it's not my mine it's beomgyu's, he left it at my house when he came over & i just thought, 'hey why not use this for tomorrow?'" he says before chuckling slightly. you laugh along with him & watch him as you finishes plugging and hooking up the wires to get everything together.

once he finishes hooking up everything he asks you to hand him the mario kart game card & hands you a controller. he takes a controller for himself and starts up the game, you watch as he goes straight into the character choosing menu & tells you to pick one and the vehicle you want to use. "i'm gonna beat you yn," "no you're not, i'm actually really good at this game" you say before playfully rolling your eyes & batting your lashes. he smiles at that and starts choosing the maps so you guys can get started.

-

the first three rounds are over & it's officially the last round. you've came in 2nd place the past three rounds and now you're determined to win the last round to prove to yeonjun that you're 'the best' at this game. the fourth & final round starts with a countdown which has you picking up your acceleration so you can be in front of yeonjun right when the game starts.

you're dodging every obstacle & making sure to pick up power-ups every chance you get, meanwhile yeonjun picks up a shell & launches it at you. you stare at the screen in shock as you watch him hit you & take your first place spot away. now you're on the edge of your seat waiting for the perfect moment to use your shell, you end up right behind him and take the chance to throw the shell at him. with such ease, you've successfully hit him which leaves HIM in shock. you start laughing and pass the 2nd finish line which brings you the third & final lap.

'you're almost there' you think to yourself but before you can finish collecting your thoughts, yeonjun hits you with a shell once again & takes your first place spot once again. you're not even shocked at this point, you knew he was good at the game & he told you that himself! with how hard you're pressing on the acceleration button, you're almost 100% sure that when you finish there will be a small dent in your finger.

you're officially nearing the last finish line which means the lap will finish & you'll lose to yeonjun in second place AGAIN. you're not letting that happen, so right when he's about to hit the finish line... you hit him with a shell, which leaves him in shock once again. you watch as his character spins around a couple time & you officially pass the finish line. with how much happiness this last game has brought you, you can't but get up and do a little victory dance.

"UH HUUUUUH, I BEAT YOU, YOU LOST AND I WON." you say while spinning in a circle doing your little dance. he claps for you & laughs at how funny you look while dancing, "ok ok, i'll admit that you're pretty good but don't forget how i beat you three times in a row before you got first place", he says before cackling like a witch.

you stop dancing & slowly turn to look at him, he's smiling at you. you've seen that smile before, it's not just any random smile showing that he thinks you're funny... it's a genuine smile. a smile that only someone who's deeply in love with you would have. you can't help but get a little shy & look away with a shy smile on your face, "are you ready to eat now?" yeonjun asks you while still smiling. "yeah i'm a little hungry now" you say while still looking away, he says okay & asks if you'd like any sauces with your food. you say yes & ask him if he could add them on top for you, he nods his head softly before going to the back and add the sauce, which is what you're assuming.

he comes back out with three closed trays of your food & he hands them off to you. just as you're about to open it, he stops you? "don't open it yet, let me put something on first and then we can start eating together, is that okay?", you nod before he walks over to the tv & switches the hdmi to regular tv and uses the remote to go over to netflix. "you've started watching the new season of 'aib' right? what episode did you get up to?" "the third one," "okay great me too, i'll put that on and then we can start eating!" he says while you nod your head in agreement.

once he puts on the show, he takes his seat back in his spot across from you. you begin to open your first tray & see words written in sauce saying 'will u',

you're slightly confused so you look up at yeonjun to see him staring at the screen with his chopsticks in hand. you begin to open the next tray as you feel obligated to, and to your surprise it also has words written out in sauce, but this one says 'be my'.

you're starting to put the pieces together as your eyes begin to widen before you quickly open the next tray to see that it says, 'my partner?'— as if on cue, yeonjun sighs & calls your name in a slight whisper but it's still loud enough for you to hear. you slowly look up at him with curious eyes as he says that he has something to tell you. you nod your head before putting all your focus on him.

"i've been in love with you for the longest. i've been a little bad at hiding it lately but that's because i wanted to make sure you'd get a slight hint? moving on, ever since you've moved in down the street from me— i've been crushing on you since then. i've been crushing on the way you talk, your energy, your confidence, your beauty, your flaws, just everything about you in general. but the thing is, you have no flaws- everything about you is perfect. to me. you're the most amazing person i've ever met & i've been waiting to do this for the longest but i was scared. scared that you wouldn't like me back, scared of rejection. it's took a lot in me to even talk to you sometimes because of how nervous i was. but i'm ready now... ready to be the best boyfriend to you, ready to continue being your bestfriend while being your boyfriend at the same time, ready to take you out on REAL dates & make you feel comfortable in your own skin. so this brings me to the question i've been scared to ask since day one— will you be my partner? it would make me the happiest man alive to have you as mine & just be yours."

oh my, he just confessed his true feelings to you and said that he's been in love with you since the day he'd met you.

"yeonjun... i'd be HONORED to have you as my boyfriend. you are the sweetest person i've EVER met and i've been in love with everything about you since the day i had met you as well. if anything, i'd be the happiest person alive to have YOU as mine... and, i'm super sorry for not realizing my feelings sooner— i was in denial for so long because i'd never think that somebody as amazing as you would like me. but i guess i was wrong... i truly admire you & the way you do things... you're so perfect & i'm truly glad i met you, so yes. i'd love to be your partner— no hesitation."

you say as you go in to hug him. he wraps his arms tightly around your waist and pecks a kiss slightly on the left side of your neck. you continue to hug him as you bury your face into his neck and whisper the words, "i love you". he smiles against your neck & says "i love you so much more yn".

you're definitely gonna be staying like that for a while.

—

you both are cuddled up in each other's arms as you both stare at the tv screen. you're laying your head on yeonjun's shoulder & he's laying his head on top of yours. you both have finished your food & it's starting to get a little late. yeonjun pauses the show, "do you wanna start going home & i'll come over tomorrow so we can pick up where we left off?" "yes please do," you say as yeonjun nods & begins picking up the empty food trays to throw them away.

you start to move the picnic basket & begin folding the picnic blanket and turning off the tv. you walk back near the door with the basket in hand to grab your coat & put on your shoes as yeonjun comes back and does the same. he begins to smile at you & you smile back and give him a peck on the lips. "let's go jun, it's really getting late" "okay love," he says as he unplugs the fairy lights and opens the door for you before grabbing your hand and quickly rushing back to his car.

he opens the passenger's door for you and closes it behind you as soon as you're in. he starts the car & turns on the heat before pulling out of his parking spot slowly to start the ride back home.

—

yeonjun starts slowing down a bit as he begins to pull in front of your house. after he stops the car, he taps you lightly to wake you up from the nap you had taken. you slowly open your eyes slowly and look around to see where, once you realize that you’re home you say, “oh”. you look over at yeonjun and sees him staring at you with a fond smile, you start to blush a little which makes you look away. he laughs at that & starts unbuckling his seatbelt “cmon, i’ll walk you to the front!” he says as you begin to smile at how generous he is.

he’s watching you unlock the door & once you do, he looks back up at you. you do the same. he flashes a smile at you, you flash one back. “i’ll see you tomorrow okay?” “okay. i love you” “i love you too,” he says before pressing quick peck on your lips. as he pulls away from you, you can’t help but smile. he gets back into his car and waves at you through the passenger’s seat window, “bye bye jun!” “bye my love!” he says before slowly pulling off.

you walk back into your house & take off your shoes to lay down on your couch for a second and just think about how today went. you start smiling to yourself at the thought of how yeonjun asked you to be his partner & how sincere he was when confessing. you begin to blush and start kicking your feet slightly, “HE ASKED ME OUTTTTT” you say before giggling really loudly.

your giggling stops a little & you let out a little content sigh… you begin thinking to yourself, ‘he asked me out.’ and just as you finish processing your thoughts— you start giggling uncontrollably again…

what a wonderful way to start your christmas break right?

★ prev + masterlist + next!

☆ taglist: @recreatiun @blahbluhblahbluh @iheartsxna @shiggyscumdump @2ynjns @ioszzn @luvsoobs @boba-beom @nobodyshallenter @wccycc @ellesalazar @nyfwyeonjun @bucketofhiros @hyuneyeon @urmumhasacrushonme @xxxx-23nct @sansluvr @ahnneyong @jayeonnature (closed!)

★ author note(s): cannot believe this is the final chapter. i’ve had so much fun making this whole story 🥹🥹

[readthephible]

Damien x Shayne Ship Questions (2) (from @zillaphoneswag)

Who pulls the other closer while sleeping?

Damien

Who picks something up, says a pun with the object, then laughs as if it’s the funniest thing they ever heard?

Shayne

When one of them gets a new outfit, how does the other react?

Shayne probably knows about the outfit already because he is there during the steps to get to that point. (Damien is indecisive.) But the few times he does surprise him, Shayne showers him in praises and compliments. (I might write this…the suit with red and black tie he posted on his most recent birthday, RenFaire, D&D movie premiere) Shayne also likes the jewelry a lot.

Damien, being the more tactile one of the pair, is probably more on the side of being speechless and just wants to touch. How the fabric stretches around his skin, the slopes on his chest, he touches his jaw to stare into his eyes because he swears certain colors make them stand out. He tends to buy oversized clothes for comfort anyway, but is happy when they fit Shayne and he can see how he looks in them.

Who tries to playfully scare the other person and who always knows where the other person is?

1) Damien 2) Shayne

Who runs up and hugs their partner while the other catches them?

1) Shayne 2) Damien

(I’ll die with the Damien-can-carry-Shayne hc.)

Who presses their nose against their partner’s cheek before kissing them?

Damien

Who accidentally snorts when they laugh and it just makes both of them laugh harder?

Damien

What are some things they do for their partner because the other knows they hate it?

This is a hard one! I can see Damien not being dirty but being a lil messy just with like clutter (me…) so Shayne being a little better about it, just to avoid tiny arguments about never putting stuff back. But also Damien has OCD and I don’t so idk what that experience is completely like. Maybe Shayne catches on to how Damien likes things and fixes them before he can notice.

In the hc that they’ve moved in together, I can see Shayne setting up appointments for Damien because he hates it, and Damien taking care of the cats since Shayne isn’t used to it.

In the pleasant little AU where nothing could go wrong, they do everything for each other.

Who giggles uncontrollably when the other picks them up?

Shayne

When did they fall in love with each other?

This is debatable especially because of that one agree to disagree video, so to quote John Green, “I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.”

(Like Damien catching on to little things about Shayne that he really likes and enjoys: his laugh, his smile, the lil stretch where he puts his hands on his forehead, predicting jokes…and getting that inner urge from his love language being touch of just wanting to hug and caress and poke and kiss and everything…again, tactile.)

I think for Shayne it would take a little longer, lots of self doubt and questioning. Based on this podcast, as well as the agree to disagree video I linked before, Shayne is very heavily demispec coded, both romantic and sexual. (I often have a hard time distinguishing crushes vs someone just paying attention to me, don’t date around because it sucks, have attachment/abandonment issues, don’t have a lot of experience…maybe I’m self projecting but I have felt like emotionally connected to Shayne in that way, like our views on things, anxiety etc. are very similar, that’s also why he’s one of my fave cast members. Oops tangent over-) Anyway, it would take him a little while to come out of his shell bc he would feel like a different person, then just realize their relationship has slowly been progressing into different territory anyway and just let himself enjoy it.

What was their first kiss like?

Ooh, there’s so many ways this could go. One in the middle of a monologue about how they feel about the other? A passionate movie kiss where everything just melts and they feel all warm and cozy in each other’s arms? A confession of feelings one? A quick one that seems accidental, one waiting for the other’s approval, then it turns into more? Or it doesn’t turn into more, and they have a long, emotional, sweet conversation afterwards? So many possibilities.

If they argue and there’s a silent treatment, who breaks it first, apologizing and begging for a hug?

Shayne (clingy!Shayne is another fave trope of mine)

Who makes the other blush without even trying and they find it super endearing?

Shayne (Damien’s already just a blushy guy)

How do they hold each other when the other asks to be held?

Damien - scoops Shayne up and carries him as long as he can, loves to feel him weighing down on him like a weighted blanket.

Shayne - can’t do much because of the height difference, will still initiate hugs from behind and stand on his tip toes to reach Damien’s shoulder, lets Damien use his chest as a pillow to lay on, etc. Any opportunity Shayne gets to seem like he can hold Damien, like if he’s taller in a chair while Damien’s sat on the floor and he can tackle him, he takes.

Who breaks out the first aid kit when one of them gets a paper cut?

Damien

Where did they first say “I love you?’”

Once their outside-of-work hangouts started to become much more frequent

Height difference or age difference?

Damien is slightly older and slightly taller.

Who likes to stargaze?

Both. Damien provides the space facts, Shayne provides the puns.

Who buys cereal for the prize inside?

Both nerds

How do they handle plane rides together?

Shayne likes the opportunity to read, Damien reads over his shoulder, leaning on him if he manages to fall asleep, if he does get nervous tics, Shayne picks up on it and is able to calm him down

Who accidentally becomes a meme?

Shayne

If they went to couples yoga, how would they do?

Shayne tries to take it seriously, but Damien squinting and tilting his head at questionable phrases/positions or staring at him in awe would be extremely distracting.

Who is in love with the other person’s laugh?

Both

Who would run a bath for the other person?

Damien

Who runs their thumb over the other person’s skin to comfort them?

Damien

Who covers the other person with a blanket when they fall asleep anywhere other than the bed?

Both

*NSFW: Skip to the first fluff headcanon if you don’t want to read it* (For me this is only from fanfic reading/writing experience, heads up for inaccuracies)

What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to them during sex?

Knowing them; a funny noise, innuendo, one of them referencing a meme or tweet, or one having brain fog and forgetting what they were doing. I would hope that nothing would be so detrimental they never wanted to bring it up or be together again considering they literally joke wrote/read fanfic of them fucking.

What is the song they’d listen to during rough/hard/kinky sex?

Probably alt rock but I have absolutely no idea leave suggestions, please

What is the song they’d listen to while making love?

I hc 90’s R&B or Fleetwood Mac adjacent

Are they into roleplay or dress up during sex?

Nerds (a little, but it would be hard to take each other seriously. or it would be like Dio!Shayne, not Shayne is Dio)

Do they prefer sex in the tub or in the shower?

Shower

Is there anything they do together after sex?

If it’s after an intense d/s situation Damien is quick to bring in the aftercare elements. But mostly cuddle, talk, make each other laugh, sleep, maybe play a calming easy game like Stardew or Animal Crossing

What is something that will never fail to turn them on?

For Damien, I hc: Shayne dancing, working out, stretching (like showing midriff/happy trail), getting dressed/undressed, his chest.

For Shayne, I hc: Damien’s voice, hands/arms, ability to dirty talk, sensual gazes, certain touches that feel more than just playful, and real big acts of kindness that give Shayne that fuzzy feeling that turns into lust

What’s their favorite body part on the other?

^

*NSFW Over*

Who showers their pet with affection?

Damien

Who can lift the other up?

Damien

Who is better at Mario Kart?

Damien

Who is touch starved and while it’s funny at first the other realizes that their partner hasn’t had much physical affection in their life?

Damien

Who gets jealous easier?

Damien

Who feeds the ducks at the park?

Damien

[northlight14]

My D&D characters as incorrect quotes

(Darling Trouble edition)

Leucis: I think you're still suffering the effects of your party last night.

Greyson: All I drank was Redbull!

Leucis: How many?

Greyson: Eighteen.

—

Leucis: I've been dropping him the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

Greyson: Wow. He sounds stupid.

Leucis: But he’s not. He’s really smart actually. Just dense.

Greyson: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, don't know... "Hey! love you!"

Leucis: I guess you're right. Hey Greyson, love you.

Greyson: See! Just say that!

Leucis: Holy fucking shit.

Greyson: If that flies over his head then, sorry Leucis, but he’s too dumb for you.

Leucis: Greyson.

—

Leucis: I'm proud to identify as morosexual. I'm attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight.

Greyson: What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?

Leucis, already taking off their clothes: God, Greyson, you're so fucking stupid.

—

Leucis: So you like cats?

Greyson: Yeah.

Leucis: *tries to impress him by slowly pushing a glass off the table*

—

Greyson: Did it hurt when you fell-

Leucis: From heaven? Wow, I didn't think you were such a flirt-

Greyson: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.

Leucis: ...

Greyson: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

—

*Greyson comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in Leucis's bedroom.*

Leucis: darling, are you.. coming to bed?

Greyson: No thank you, I'm sure you're lovely but I have a boyfriend.

Greyson: *Lies on the ground and falls asleep*

Leucis: ...

—

Leucis: like your new pants!

Greyson: Thanks, they were 50% off!

Leucis: I'd like them better if they were 100% off. *winks*

Greyson: The store can't just give away clothes for free.

Leucis: Thats's... not what I meant.

Greyson: That's a terrible way to run a business, Leucis.

—

Leucis: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?

Greyson: Nope, there's 26.

Leucis: Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.

Greyson: Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one.

Leucis: You'll get the D later ;).

—

Greyson: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Leucis!

Leucis: You can't expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

—

Leucis: Greyson, you love me, right?

Greyson: Normally I'd say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won't like.

—

Leucis: You got a date yet Greyson?

Greyson: No...

Leucis: Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!

—

Leucis: You look good in that hoodie.

Greyson: You know where else I'd look good?

Leucis, zero hesitation: My bed.

Greyson, at the same time: By your side-wait, what?

—

Greyson: Sorry I'm late, I was doing things.

Leucis: Hi, I'm 'things'.

—

Greyson: You have to apologize to them Leucis.

Leucis: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

—

Greyson: Bro-

Leucis: No, no, hold up, rewind.

Leucis: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

—

Leucis: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.

Greyson: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

[whitedahlia13]

Rules: pick any ten of your fics, scroll to the midpoint, pick a line (or three) and share it. Then tag ten people.

Tagged by the lovely, @kylermalloy. Thank you, love 💕

I thought that I was dreaming (when you said you loved me)

Lydia.

She is with him, and he’s relieved and happy. But she’s weeping, vibrations of her body transferring to his, cool moisture soaking his tee shirt. He strokes her crown, hair like silk gliding under his palm as he says her name.

This Love

Her heart swells and races while her mind desperately tries to catch up, to articulate an answer that is worthy of him. “Stiles, that’s so…”

“Weird?” he cringes, briefly glancing at his sneakers.

“I was going to say incredibly romantic.”

Falling Slowly

“Something came up,” she quoted. “Could you have been any more vague? What was I supposed to think? What if I had sent you a message like that?”

His face reshaped with comprehension. “I... I would’ve freaked out,” he admitted.

He sighed and let go of her arms, but she could still feel his touch, lingering tenderness and heat. She could see the remorse in his eyes too, and it got to her. Stiles got to her, made her regret her harshness and remember why she had gone to his house in the first place.

Lies My Brother Told Me

From the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of his watch on my wrist. It relentlessly ticks away. Seconds...to minutes...to hours...each of them more cruel than the last, dragging me further away from the last moment he was still alive.

Further from his last smile – through agony, forced for my benefit.

Further from my last plea. Don’t leave me. I can’t do this alone.

Written in the Stars

“Well, I definitely preferred last night's game — for a lot of reasons, but mostly, ‘cause…” He pauses and clears his throat.

She can feel his body tremble underneath her as he emits a shaky breath. “Go ahead,” she encourages, gently running her hands along his sides.

“Because we’re together now,” he explains, eyes flaring with the morning light as he blinks.

A Breath Between Us

Part of him has the distinct feeling that he is making a mistake, that maybe she needs him as much as he needs her. A louder voice reminds him that Lydia is strong and more than capable of taking care of herself. It tells him that if she wanted him to stay, she would just say so. He feels foolish for thinking that he could ever become for her, what she is to him – his salvation, a light in the darkness, the person he wants to give his heart to.

Regression to the Mean

Eventually he decides to lie down, resting his head against her leg. At first, she tenses. Allowing him that close is not exactly her idea of being careful or keeping herself at a safe distance.

But as soon as he glances up at her and asks, “Is this okay?”, every reservation she has evaporates and she nods.

She is sure there is some undeniable force tightening its grip on her when her hands naturally find their way to his hair.

Back Together

Even though they have officially been a couple for months, he always seems astonished when Lydia expresses her feelings for him so openly. He is chewing on his bottom lip, leading her to conclude that he is caught somewhere between trying to figure out what to say and wanting to kiss her again.

Stay

Remember...

She does now…but a few months ago, when the Ghost Riders swept through Beacon Hills, she didn’t remember Stiles at all. She recalls the awful time she endured without him, the constant ache in her heart because there was someone missing from her life, the bleak and hollow feeling when she realized she may not be able to save him. She never wants to experience that again.

The Years Within a Night

Lydia awoke to the haze of sunlight streaming through her window. Her eyes drowsily opened and then focused on a familiar face. At first, she thought she may have been dreaming. Once her mind cleared, she knew she was not.

Stiles was still asleep, and remarkably, he appeared to be completely relaxed – face peaceful, lips parted, breathing calm and steady. 

Er...I don't know ten writers with ten fics or more, but anyone who wants to do this is more than welcome.

[ladyazulina]

Azu is Talking — A Little Too Personal at the End

This week, the dental pain I have been updating you about has been decreasing. Slowly but surely. I was able to stop numbing my mouth to fall asleep earlier in the week, so that’s… good? I guess? It’s still hurting, but I see even the smaller of steps as progress, so.

This Creative Monday was… intense, to say the least. Fortunately, the mechanic of this game seems to be coming pretty nicely. Wordy-wise, at least. I easily spent the whole afternoon working on it, seven hours. From late morning to right into the evening, with a long break to prepare and eat lunch (watching a series episode~) and a shorter one to have a coffee.

My eyes were tired of seeing words and I still wanted to try to add something to the [REDACTED] adventure, ‘cause that goes whenever I can, remember? And I did, though very little, and my eyes ended up also hurting after that. I still have just a bit more than two weeks left to work on it. Not sure how many words missing just yet. But with just an hour or so to end my working hours, I wasn't really sure about my odds (I did the add-up with five minutes to spare). Don't have to rush and worry about it just yet, but the sooner I can end it, the better I will feel. And I always want to feel the better.

That’s not what usually happens on Tuesdays… Particularly this one. When reading a book in which you have 50+ favorite highlighted quotes, Review Tuesday becomes a nightmare.

Read this week’s review:

Posting each and every one of those quotes individually (because I want to 😭) is a heavy job. I can try to quell it a bit by listening to music and reading those quotes during the arduous posting to remind myself how much I loved that book, but it still leaves a toll. Especially if after the first massive posting on Tumblr, I'm doing the same on Patreon, repeating it on Ko-fi, and doing it once more on Co-host! Doesn't surprise me that it took me a whole day. But a whole day trying to post a review was going to easily become a killer instead of a cause of excitement. That's why I rebranded my Ko-fi and the way I shared the reviews on Co-host! Now it's a headache, but a headache that takes a slightly less amount of time and leaves me with enough left to try to fix the rest of my day. Or madden me even more, who knows?

Iron Valley, Linney's Campaign, is being live every Tuesday.

Yeah, kind of that is what I meant. Not only that, though.

I started the day by sharing everywhere I could the second post of Linney’s campaign on Iron Valley. Then I worked on posting the review of the week. All those reviews are from books I read in 2022 and 2023, I haven’t had that much of a reading spur this year mostly because I wanted to slow down and read some books I wanted outside of ARC and Beta picks. It hasn’t worked like that, if I have to be honest, but it’s like I needed the rest. I am still reading (or trying to 😬) for the teams I am already a part of, just took a year’s pause from actively looking and pursuing new teams to apply for.

After that, anyway, I had a really motivating brainstorming session with a trusted friend 💙 (my heart aches for being able not only to say but also believe that I have friends I can trust) that led me to dive for almost six hours on the [REDACTED] adventure. I was satisfied (and oh so tired) for basically finishing it with a little more than two weeks before the deadline (being aware of the time was, is, and will still be jamming my head), but I still have to make a few editions to make it the best I could. I feel so low-key hyped.

Working Wednesday, though, didn’t have much of ‘Working’. I started the day with a power outage and that wrecked my plans, even if they were really not that time or head-consuming. I could have finished with my Collaborative Writing Workshop later on, but I wasn’t feeling it. Had enough of a time figuring out what I was going to eat and how I was going to dive into the darkness of a kitchen I had even in the brightest of hours (and I had, for a change, the brightest of days so far lately). Fortunately, the power came back for a little bit to let me fix my breakfast. And then came back again so I could fix my lunch (really, really thankful for that). It went out for a little bit again when I was prepping my dessert (the first time in a long time, I can get accustomed to that 😏). But so far it held. Still have no idea what happened that day (to warrant the power outage, I mean).

So, when I finally was able to settle, it was already time for the coffee break (sacred, do not disturb), and I felt so out of sync that I just made some last-minute editions and called it a day. I added a few more things to my schedule (’cause I just remembered), but so far it could have totally gone as an UnPlanned Resting Day. I took a book from my small, brand-new, growing, personal library collection and read for hours. I don’t remember when was the last time I read a physical book I physically held in my physical hands (my last birthday doesn’t count because the book wasn’t mine yet and I was in a bookstore 👀), so it was nice. Now I just have to finish it. Preferably before the end of the month. Hopefully more on that next week 🤞

Backstage Thursday was… backstaging, ba dum tss 🥁 I did an orderly move of tasks to help me manage a bit better few certain things outside my thematic days. Like an edition I had to start because of me getting into a new project… as an editor. It took me longer than I expected, but I had so much fun starting to dive in there and I’m loving a lot the setting and the concepts and I’m into the idea that my ‘boss’ is such an easy-going person, it will be hella fun to work with them. I did my scheduled task as well, and also had to reject a possible paid project because I didn’t find myself fit enough for it. Mature decisions. I’m growing way so fast 🥺

I also found a solo TTRPG game I could playtest the week after next. I know I ‘should’ have finished the previous one by now, but life happened. Anyhow, I’m happy and excited for the new game. I really can’t wait. I’m surprisingly content as well with the subjects I was able to grab for my incoming semester. I had to withdraw all of them last semester, so I wasn’t sure how things were going to go on this one, but I even found a virtual class! It’s the best of the best of what I can get. I will totally talk a lot more about my college life after the semester starts in three weeks anyway, so let’s wait until then.

On Secret Friday, though, I was not having it. I woke up in a m o o d, that much I noticed. Last week I signed up as a player for an incoming charity weekend stream to raise funds for medical aid for Palestine by playing TTRPG games. I woke up that day overthinking the help I could give as a player with my need for accommodations. If I haven’t said it yet, I’m hard of hearing and that is such a Big Thing™ in my life… at least for me. All the session zeros and games seemed to be taking place on voice channels on Discord, and Discord doesn’t have yet closed captions integrated (w h y?!). The session zero for a game I wanted to play was taking place that day, so my mood wasn’t helping. It was pushing me to just withdraw altogether, not wanting to be a bother by switching the calls to Google Meets, which could be a problem during a live stream if none of us had a paid account cause Google would be kicking us out every hour. For a game of at least three hours. I… I wasn’t having it.

Fortunately, it did not have a grasp of me. The session zero was held on Google Meets, and the organizer said we would have an account with a Google free trial, so it shouldn’t be able to cut us out during the stream. I had a lot of fun meeting the cast and was glad of hadn’t listened to my head. Now I can formally invite you to accompany us from August 2nd to August 4th on Desis & Dragons’ Twitch channel, we will be playing a lot of games with huge diverse casts for such an amazing cause.

Still on that same Secret Friday, I was also having sad feelings, finding an article in my inbox that very morning that started like this:

Living with hearing loss impacts every aspect of my life. It shapes how I communicate, navigate the world, and connect (or, more often, don’t connect) with others. During Disability Pride month, I find myself thinking lately about unexpected support — the small, impactful ways people have shown up and advocated on my behalf when I couldn’t. There’s my wife, of course, who helps translate basically everywhere we go, and who’s learning ASL with me so we can communicate a little easier. — Pride and Perseverance by AnnaGrams.

As I said, I was having feelings, and I was already a filled well, so I was overflowing. That start hit me somewhere and thought about approaching the author, Anna Pulley, but I was at a loss for words.

I tried to do things that day, but nothing (apart from the session zero) seemed to be working for me, so, understandably so, I just let it be. My partner spent a lot of time with me and, after the session, we had our coffee break (I started having coffee breaks thanks to him) and a few hours watching a series.

I partly knew what I was feeling, so when I didn’t wake up on Playful Saturday feeling better, it didn’t surprise me. It took me a while to figure out what it was though, but after the first harsh wave, I noticed there is only one thing able to destroy me completely overnight. The hormones were shifting to prepare for the period.

What’s the problem with it? The feelings, thoughts, and emotions I have been feeling for the last decade around the hormones have been extremely radical. I don’t consider myself an impulsive person… in this sort of thing, at least, but the intensity that overcomes me has been huge enough to scare me. Of myself. For myself. I’ve been fighting depression all my life and earlier with this I noticed it is something that affects greatly my style of life. Very few people believe me, not the ones who could help me do something about it though. Yet. So it hasn’t been funny.

After communicating with my partner, he decided it best to keep me in his line of sight. So dear friends I also kept in the loop were checking on me. I felt a prisoner of my own body (though this happens often and not only because of this particular matter) and a hostage of my own mind. I made the smarter move, but it was a difficult day.

Reaching the evening, my partner started looking for activities to actively distract me. We ended up playing a few (many) puzzles from Baba is You. It was highly stimulating and I ended up deeply engrossed, so much so that when he had to leave me to spend time with his family, I shifted the attention toward the TTRPG game I’m playing. Instead of the four parts I used to go over in the previous weeks, I was only able to focus through one and a half of another, but so far that was more than I expected to do that day. Depending on how this new week goes, I may or may not finish this first campaign there. I’m excited.

The excitement doesn’t break through this mood that’s bringing me down, but now that I recognized it, it’s slightly easier to fight it. Just slightly. Being able to differentiate when something comes from you and when it comes from the liar you have as a brain makes it all a bit less strenuous. And, sometimes, that’s all you need.

I’m only playing in one game so far next weekend, but nonetheless, I hope to see you there. Until next week 💙

[cancerian-95]

.

Hello Tumblr, this is the end of the line. I have not written on this page for a while and it is best to let this blog gather dust and walk away. Before I walk away completely, let me provide one last update, a happy, loving, complete story that wraps up my blog well. The title “.” not only signals the end, but a completion, just as this person has completed me. She is not only my best friend, but my loving, cute, beautiful fiancée (yes, you read that right). This post is for her, for I am and always will be eternally grateful that she has changed my life for the better in all facets.

2020 was a once in a century event, a massive global pandemic called Covid-19 that shut Earth down. Some things would never be the same again, work/office life, travel and my love life…on May 8th 2020, after re-downloading CMB after a time away from my last relationship, I matched with her with little knowledge that my life was about to completely change. My first line was nothing special asking how lockdown was treating her but with every line and message, I felt something, an emotion that would blossom and bloom beyond the prettiest hydrangea or peony. I was never more happy to be away from my bad habits, to video call and talk to her as night times with her became my favourite time of the day. We waited out for a few months before meeting in person in the first week of July. I was nervous, things had been going great and I didn’t want to mess things up but when I saw her, it relaxed me and those strong feelings I had only grew with every moment.

With every date, call, gift…with every passing day, it felt like I was living my best dream. I fell for her just like you fall asleep to quote TFIOS “slowly, then all at once.” It is hard to point to a time but subconsciously, she was the only person I want to spend time with or share my insecurities and emotions to and that is something I have never felt in anyone else. Never has it felt more easy or natural and never has it clicked as well as it still does to this day and as it will going forward.

The relationship was not without trials, mainly Covid related and personal issues but no matter how big the efforts were to put out the fire, it kept burning brighter and stronger. I would never give up on someone as special as her and I would be stupid to throw it away so despite the stress growing with every passing day, I persevered and stayed committed knowing if we could get through this, then we could get through anything. I’m grateful for her patience too and sticking with me through the most difficult times.

I have never felt more supported to be a better version of myself. To have someone push you and make you more ambitious to reach your goals is priceless. I probably do not say this enough but I would never be where I am now or as happy as I am now without her and it is all thanks to her. On our journey together, we celebrated getting new jobs, shared countless memories on trips, achieved key milestones in our lives and most importantly, got engaged. We moved in to our new flat earlier this year and this experience living with you is better than anything I could have imagined or drawn up as a child growing up. I have learned independence, responsibility and yet am so lucky to be cared for and loved by her every day. But the best feeling and best part of my every day is cuddling her to sleep every night and waking up next to her every morning. She is the reason I smile, the reason I look forward to my every day for the rest of my life.

I hope I can be even half the amazing person she is and I will do everything I can to make sure she gets all she wants and desires as that is the least she deserves putting up with me every day. I love her more than words can describe and my wish is that even as this page or blog will gather dust, she will come by every now and then to read this and realise how special she is as a person and how special she is to me. She is the best thing that has happened to me ever and I will never let go.

We are almost at the finish line Tumblr…one final paragraph. Our lives, our fate changes with each decision we make and we all go through our lives making many important decisions. Everything that led up to our relationship and where we are now was based on decisions. I am happy with my decisions, I hope she is as well. Let us carry on filling in pages and chapters of our unfinished story. Next stop: Wedding!

I love you.

[literary-jams]

John Green

This particular article about John Green talks about his life and four of his best selling books among which I happened to have three. John Green clearly is a very experienced person, his experience and his mature thoughts shows up on his writing, which also challenges the reader's views and helps us look at different difficulties of life from alot of different narratives.

The Fault In Our Stars:

The book is essentially about two characters Hazel Grace Lancaster and August Waters. Hazel Grace had thyroid cancer which had reached out to her lungs and she was in a support group with kids who had cancer in her mother's behest. Augustus had lost his leg to osteosarcoma and he was there to support his best friend Isaac who had eye cancer. The first conversation stirred between the leads was actually because of a ciggerrate. Augustus had one on his lips which made him receive a disgusted look from Hazel, she found humans purposely butchering their organs despicable. To which Augustus replied that he is not going to light it. He further added that it is a metaphor, he puts the killing thing right in between his teeth but does not give it the power to kill him, which also added a sustainable factor to it, because the same pack had been serving him for two years. Needless to say they found each other interesting and promised to read each other's favorite novels. Hazel got the Prince of Dawn while Augustus received the book an Imperial Affliction, a book on a girl stricken with cancer who Hazel resonated with. However after finishing the book Augustus mentioned how he hated the abrupt ending in it to which he learned that the author of the book Van Houten had retreated to Amsterdam and no body ever really heard from him ever since but Hazel also added that she like the book because of the abruptness it projects it truthfully, people die in the middle of their life in the middle of their sentence. When Augustus surprised her with tickets to Amsterdam to go and meet the author Van Houten , Hazel Grace was over the moon but upon meeting with him they realised that he hated teenage guts and completely dismissed their excitement on meeting him. However they shared a beautiful moment in Augustus' hotel room where they confessed about being in love with each other where Augustus said " Im in love with you and Im not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying the true things" to which Hazel replied that she is only going to break his heart to which he answered that it would be a privilege to have his heart broken by hers. The beauty of fault in our stars is its filled with unforgettable quotes such as "Some infinites are bigger than other infinites" and "I fell in love like i was falling asleep, slowly at first and then all at once but the ending scene had left me completely shattered in all the ways possible. After Augustus passed away due to the resurrection of his cancer, Hazel Grace found out about the obituary he had left for her in the letters of Van Houten, in which he had expressed his deepest feelings. HE mentioned that he finds her so pretty that he never gets tired of looking at her, he never worries about her being smarter than him because he knows that she is and he is lucky to have fallen in love with her. He also mentions how in this world no one can choose if they want to get hurt in this world but we have some say in who hurts you and he mentions how he is happy with his choices and he hopes that Hazel is too. The book ends with Hazel accepting that she is as well.

Turtles All the Way Down:

This book is about Aza Holmes who suffers from obsessive compulsive disorder and anxiety. In the opening pages of the book we see her mention about how she hates the process of eating, of mushy substances going down her esophagus while stomach microbes help her digest the food. However the title Holmes could have easily been a foreshadow on the forthcoming storyline where Aza plays detective in order to find the lost billionaire for a money prize who also happens to be her neighbor. Their was also a romance angle with her and the billionaire's older son Davis Pickett. Just to shed light on how bad her OCD was, she went on a rabbit hole of thoughts about kissing Davis. She worried about the microbes they exchanged and how it could lead to her eventual death. However because she had lost her father she could also relate to David as she understood the absence of a father figure during the times one need them the most. One of the most significant lines form the book is when Aza realized that she is like a Matryoshka doll, all her layers are her. Its turtles all the way down. I also like the line where while breaking up with Davis they were looking at the sky and Aza mentions how she particularly enjoys looking at the same sky with him. She thinks eye contacts are overrated as anyone can end up looking at you but looking at the the same sky together is cosmic, its meant to be.

Looking for Alaska:

Its about a guy called Miles Halter who was later nicknamed as Pudge, he was a newbie at a boarding school and was paired with a petite guy who went by the name Colonel who was friends with two more people Takumi the rapper and Alaska who loved books. They all quickly ended up being friends and the readers went on a beautiful journey with them of not only exploring their loyalties for each other but also their unfaithful and low moments. We also see a flirtatious relationship developing between Miles and Alaska and watch Miles inevitably fall in love with her. However when he finally gets his way with her and they kiss for the first time, something suddenly switches in Alaska and she leaves but never returns. The next day the entire school gets the news that she has passed away. As an honour to her the entire group threw the best Junior year prank in the school.

This book sheds light on the beautiful moments people spend during their hostel life. The first wave of independence they receive, te fun they have yet sometimes getting peer pressured into trying out things. But also inevitably spending the best moments of their life.

[hollyhomburg]

Before I Leave You (Pt.37)

(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

Summary: A collection of moments, snippets in sequence, each that brings you closer. (Or alternatively: you and Jungkook figure out the pack hierarchy, Namjoon finds an alternative means of you submitting other than sex, and Hobi starts to fall in love with you, just a little.)

Pairings: Omega! Reader, Omega! Jungkook, Omega! Seokjin, Alpha! Namjoon, Alpha! Hoseok, Alpha! Taehyung, Alpha! Jimin, Beta! Yoongi,

Tags: Dom! Namjoon, sub! m/c, scruffing, negotiations, contracts, biting, handfeeding, talks of anorexia, themes of recovery, recovery through Bdsm rules, hurt/comfort, talks of trans characters + dysphoria, flashbacks, Talks of drugs, consensual drugging, Violence, Blood, implied dollification, a little bit of nonconsensual touching,

W/c: 12.0k

A/n: this part was greatly inspired by Hobipaloza and how adorable and scruffy hobi looked during it. this is probably one of 10 favorite chapters i’ve written- i think it touches on some very important themes of the series. that being said HYEJIN’S PART has the potential to be VERY TRIGGERING so be warned. The line “life is short but also unbearably long” is a paraphrased Jenna marbles quote.

Previous Chapter - Masterlist

~-~

(Title Track: Jungkook)

By the time that you wake from the scene, the pack has come back from the ocean all salt sweet and freckly regardless of Jin’s protests for his poor pups’ cheeks. But the teasing and hassling is all in good fun, their bodies are sun-kissed and relaxed by the cool water, almost languid from sticky sea salt as they drag each other by the pair into a shower. Jin hates the feeling of ocean salt in the nest. 

You woke from the scene feeling all clean and washed down too. Grooming- they tell you. Jin fell into a little bit of a frenzy after you fell asleep. The idea that the pack omega rubbed you down so thoroughly and in such an intimate place, but did it gentle enough that you didn't wake makes you hot all over. It makes Jin's hand burn where is presses against the small of your back, herding you towards the kitchen for some snacks when you’re still half asleep. 

The other pups are likewise sleepy, and clingy when it comes to your reappearance. “Ah I wish you would have come with us today we had so much fun” they prattle on about what they did, the funniest moment of the day when Jimin got almost knocked over by a wave how Hobi practically walked for so long that they thought he might have gotten lost. each of them dragging you in for a sniff and a surprised happy noise. You know you smell good without them having to say it- that you smell claimed by the pack alpha and omega. 

Theirs’s truly- for the first time maybe.

Being a packmate is one thing, but smelling like one sate something primal. You're a little down still, a little more prone to be moved by Jungkook and the others without protest, Jin’s not sure if you notice that you're still feeling the effects of subspace but he's watchful where he stands next to Yoongi, chopping up vegetables for a salad.

Namjoon drags Jimin and Tae into the nest room soon after you vacate it with a hand on the back of both of their necks, tugged them to their knees almost immediately once the door closed. They’re startled- but prepared once Namjoon strides forward, lacing a hand over his barely constricted hardness. Fingers itching towards the button. “Would you like to tell me what you did with the pup last night? Or should I show you what she told me you did?”  

The barely leashed anger tangling with arousal emanating from under the door is quick to sweeten. And although both of the pups had been nursing sore bottoms when they’d reappeared, further exacerbated by sunburn on Jimin’s part- the punishment and reminder of the pack alphas will have slowly faded from importance. 

Namjoon let them off easy, maybe he’s still feeling the effects of your slick and slick intoxication. He hasn’t realized that you’ve tamed him that way yet and It will be a while until he makes the connection to his own behavior- that your slick makes him more docile.

They must have stopped at the grocery store on the way home because a variety of treats are piled on the kitchen island, small cupcakes and cinnamon sugar speckled donuts. Chocolate-covered strawberries and keto treats from the special (and kind of expensive) bakery that Jimin likes because it carries things that Jungkook can actually eat. 

Some of them ate and some of them didn’t but regardless a plate waits for you later, the same way you’ve eaten and not the new way that Jin is only just starting to turn over in his head while you play with the rest of your packmates. Handfuls of sand dollars and sea glass are shown, and you ooh and ahh over Jungkook and Tea’s found treasures. Even shaggy-haired Hobi is prompted to show you the find of the day; a small Shark tooth- tinier than the tip of his pinky but undeniably a little baby tooth. 

"Hobi's got good eyes," Tae comments, and Hobi blushes, hiding his face in the overgrown shag of his hair, curling at the edges a little mullety. 

Jungkook’s hair sits long and salt curly over his forehead too; he enjoys a few scoops of the only ice-cream brand he can eat sitting at the table still in his swimsuit like Taehyung. Although her button-down shirt is just one button awry, the skin of her hip inviting in its tan lines that sit just over her hip bones. (It makes you wonder what she’d look like with the delicate crisscrossing strands of a bikini there. Memories of where the sun has kissed and what edges it hasn’t; delightful evidence of moments spent lying in ease).

She looks at the hickeys on you in much the same hungry way as you when you shuffle between her legs. You look so well fucked that it has them a little delirious. The bruises from Namjoon’s fingers that line your inner thighs are only too visible and tantalizing in your small shorts. Tae knows there is only one way you get those, in fact, she’s pretty sure she’s got some fading marks that are similar.

You smell like Namjoon and Jin and Yoongi, so much so that it’s a little too intoxicating to their sun-fried minds. It makes them touch you longer, makes Tae pull you in between her thighs when you try to wobble away, grabbing at your prone body to keep you still. But no one mentions or comments to it while you share spoonful of strawberry ice cream back and forth to cool off before dinner. 

Jin doesn’t even complain that you’re all spoiling your appetites. eyes fixed on tae feeding you sweet spoonfuls.

“Are you sure that you don’t want help?” you ask, leaning up against the island still in between Tae’s legs, watching Yoongi do the dishes. Your mate doesn’t seem to mind, up to his elbows in soap and drowning in joy. Tae can see the smile on his cheeks even when he turns away, his face round with it from the side. Jin has pulled his cutting board as close to Yoongi as possible without directly being in his way even though there is more than enough available counter space in the kitchen. 

Every few seconds Jin pauses to stroke down his arms in comfort, holds his hip, or otherwise touches your mate. Reassuring him back from the last of the drop and Yoongi would never refuse the contact. He feels good, hands in the soapy water, as he gets to listen to everyone in love. 

You reach for one of the sweets and Yoongi feels impossibly fond and happy. But your monsters are never banished for long because although you have the sweet in your hands- you still grab the box, turning it over to look at the label on the back.  

He’s not the only one who sees- and tries to keep the moment from turning heavy before it can. Almost quicker than you turned the box over Jungkook snatches it off of the table, holding it up and out of reach using his height to his advantage as you protest and try to swipe at it. With both his hands above his head he’s easily got two feet over you, you hop, trying to rip it out of his hands, "Come on- I only want to check."

Jungkook's grinning down at you even if this isn't something to smile about, "Nope, not happening. I know what you're gonna do, and I know it's gonna make you feel guilty and these are guilt-free calories. They’re aftercare treats." You huff, frustrated, reaching up to try and get it from him and hopping up on the chair and moving to reach for it when that doesn’t work. Tae presses her knuckles to her mouth to keep from laughing.

Your whole body gets pressed against Jungkook’s as crane your neck, warm and sweet honey salt smelling. "Koo give it-"

"No." Jungkook can be as stubborn as a stick in the mud when he knows that he’s right. You’re face to face with him still reaching and trying to grab it, close enough that he can feel your breath when you speak, he follows his instincts- too warn down from the sun to think clearly. 

He turns, biting at the spot where your neck meets your shoulder. Not too hard, but enough for you to feel it and squeak in surprise, for there to be little square imprints of his teeth when he pops off.

"Jungkook!" Yoongi scolds, ignoring the zing down his mating mark at having your neck be bitten. You step back, startled, your cheeks pink. The dull throb of the bite quiets your protests instantly. Two perfect half circles on your shoulder in the shape of Jungkook’s mouth that you clamp a hand over in surprise.

Jungkook licks his teeth and hums.

You go from plucky puffed-up kitten to sleepy and soft in just about two seconds, teetering, almost falling off the chair where it not for Jungkook’s arms around you, the box dropping back onto the counter as he guides you back to the floor before you can fall.

 "You bit me." You sound crushed, the epitome of offended as you pull away. Hand still clamped over your shoulder to soothe the smarting skin. "Why’d you do that?" 

Jungkook rubs his chin stubbornly over your other shoulder, "Cuz you weren’t listening." 

You don’t reach to check the container now that it’s within reach, instead blinking back a sudden haze. Huh, that’s strange, Namjoon can't help but lean back, watching the two of you without interfering just yet.

In terms of hierarchy in the pack, Jungkook has always been at the very bottom. He’s never disliked it or confessed that he wanted to be higher- no, Jungkook has always been comfortable being their littlest pup. 

Until now. 

"If it will make you happy, I’ll eat it." He nods, and the others hake their head, perplexed that the fight dissipated as quickly as it came. You’re being so obedient and to the lowest ranking member of the pack too- all of this is so strange. Jungkook doesn’t (didn’t) have a dominant bone in his body but that's about the clearest show of dominance that Namjoon's ever seen- and he's pack alpha for fuck's sake. 

Jungkook’s grinning triumphantly as he sets his hand on your shoulder. Namjoon sniffs the air, checking for any discomfort, anything unhappy coming from either of you but there’s nothing.

Namjoon sips at his hot coco and Jin stops his chopping, gesturing with his knife, "You know you can't just bite people when they don't agree with you.”

“You also shouldn’t gesture with knives.” Namjoon quips, Jin huffs but puts it down. The last thing the pack needs is any unintentional stab wounds. 

"Why not? You guys bite me when I don’t agree with you all the time?" Jungkook pouts, you match his and Jimin comes close, gesturing at you to pull your hand away. The marks from Jungkook’s teeth are pink and sensitive as the alpha skims his fingers over them, giggling. 

You blink, still trying to make your brain operate through the haze of aftercare and now a bite. Jimin touching you so possessively, standing back between Tae's thighs once she grumbles, complaining that Jungkook ‘stole you’ while jk still has his arms wound around you, pulling you to his chest- it's dizzying. 

You tilt your head and bare your neck without thinking.

It earns you a fresh wave of crooning, "oh pup." Tae huffs, settling her palm on your hip, and you start to slick up stubbornly- your body deciding it still hasn’t had enough (that it won’t be enough, not until you smell like all of them the way that you smell like Namjoon and Jin and yoongi right now)

You sniffle- and it's Hobi who comes to your defense surprisingly pulling at Jungkook’s elbow, “guys come on- you're practically mauling her.”

You turn up your eyes at him, thankful and willing but still new. Hobi has always been above Jungkook in the hierarchy and now…he guesses he’s above you too. 

"You still got that train ticket?" 

Hobi almost chokes on his chocolate-covered strawberry. Hobi’s laugh is as bright as waves crashing against rocks, sea spray tossed high into the air in exultation. 

Hobi puts his head between his knees and laughs, leans back with chocolate on the corner of his mouth and shakes his head. The two of you leave the perplexed and, in some cases, concerned glances to your packmates. The internal question of what inside joke you just touched on never mind that you and Hobi are the two last people in the universe that they would ever expect to have an inside joke.

Namjoon slings his arms around Jungkook’s shoulder and teething at his ear, making the omega jump, "does 'I bit it so it's mine' apply to people too?"

"Yes," Jungkook answers petulantly, happy as you actually nibble at the food in front of you.  In all honestly, the bite has the desired effect, and you sit down and eat the sweets and a chocolate-covered strawberry that Hobi hands you once he catches you watching his. Pliant and not nearly as resistant as before.

Jin huffs, snapping his knife through the garlic on his cutting board, mincing it efficiently, "If you dare try that with me tonight, you're going to find out that I also have teeth and they're sharper than yours kookie."

Being a the bottom of the pack hierarchy isn't always a bad thing, the pups that need the most care are ready to receive it and stay there. The bottom spot is for those that can't necessarily fulfill their needs themselves and are ready to exchange them being fulfilled for obedience (and maybe a good nibble here or there). 

Just like that the pack hierarchy is settled; Jungkook at the very bottom, and you just below.

~-~

(Interlude: Namjoon) 

It takes a few days for Jin and Namjoon to construct the perfect new rule for you regarding the food, but It’s not the only new rule you gather in that timeframe; 

You have a whole new little list of them that’s stuck to the fridge, stickers, and bunny doodles on the corners from Jungkook. It's a little bit too of a public place in your opinion but the whole pack had assured you that it was okay to have it put there- the same way a little kid might have a drawing or a report card stuck there by a proud parent. 

Under the heading “cupcakes’s rules” sit a dozen or so points on a bulleted list, None of the rules are truly embarrassing, private maybe. But they're your pack, they deserve to know every private thing about you. None of them are rules that you’re at all unwilling to obey, (but that was kind of the point of negotiating them after all). Not a single rule asks for too much or gives Namjoon and Jin too much control over you. 

You have to want this too, and Jin and Namjoon had been incredibly clear that this didn’t have to be a 24/7 thing. Like with the other packmates- it was likely that you’d strike some sort of balance that worked for you. Tae for example- rarely ever gets punished or has rules lorded over her head, your mate too- seems to barely feel their will when compared to Jungkook, you, or even Jimin.

Your rule list as Namjoon and Jin’s submissive goes as follows:

1. Good pups must always use their safewords, even during situations that are not explicitly sexual, safewords are always allowed to be used (even during meal times)

2. Good pups treat themselves and others with respect (no negative self-talk). 

3. Good pups tell their doms when they are having a rough day and need some extra babying.

And the fourth rule, the one that you are most nervous about- the one that you are always worried about: 

4. Good pups eat 3 square meals a day, the organization and implementation of which will be at their alphas and their doms discretion.

It’s not all that dissimilar from the rule you'd had before even if Jin and Namjoon had been sure to outline to you what would change in practice. The stinky note system could only last for so long before you had to find something that worked better. 

You negotiated the list not only with Namjoon, Jin, and Yoongi, but with Jungkook and Jimin too. Although those two had asked to sit in just to watch and maybe add their two cents in. The document (it feels weird to refer to an 8 by 12 piece of computer paper written with Jin’s neat scrawl as a document) only explicitly specifies Namjoon and Jin as your Dom’s. 

But the scrawled list of limits on the back was at least good for them to know. 

Jin’s no hissing at me I don’t know why it makes me Dom drop sometimes but it does is hardly an obtrusive limit as is Namjoon’s no tickling, if you tickle me during sex even accidentally, I will probably flail and hurt you, no blood, if I see you start bleeding I will safeword, no extreme breathplay.

 It had taken you the longest to decide on your limits, Yoongi had helped write the list the most. They’d told you that it could be a work in progress too, there is more than enough space on the sheet to add more rules. I don’t like to be face down a lot, no spitting on me, no hair pulling cuz Yoonie (<3)

It was complete with Jin’s delicate signature below your list of limits, Namjoon’s messy doctor's tangle, and your inelegant one- unused to having to sign anything. 

Out of practice. 

There are other rules and space for more at the bottom on the front of the sheet as well. Rules that make you shift and slick up a little when you think about them too hard. They haven’t been much in practice yet (it’s only been a few days) but there are still ones like 7. Good pups must tell Jinnie every time they have an orgasm and what made them cum, because it’s his responsibility to make sure his pup is properly satisfied.

6. Pup must verbally agree to a scruffing before getting one unless a scruff has been explicitly negotiated prior to a scene or the scruff is necessary to prevent the pup from either hurting another packmate or the situation requires them calming down. (That rule is a little nebulous, Namjoon and Jin and Yoongi spend long minutes debating the wording. You where entirely unworried that namjoon and jin would ever abuse the power- but Yoongi wasn’t. )

And “10. Good pups must not let their pussy be cum marked without the pack alpha’s explicit permission.” That had earned you a flushing face from Jimin and a wry comment from Jungkook that had turned the pack alpha all shy. 

“I promise it’s not like a possessive thing-“ Jin had eyed Namjoon knowingly, “okay- it's definitely a possessive thing but-“

“You don’t need to justify it alpha; we get it.” Jungkook’s legs had been swinging below the dinner table. He'd been on and off hooking his pinky with yours for emotional support the whole negotiation. He'd even dragged his own list out for you to see when you'd asked to see it. The warn paper thin at the seams and folded in his collars case. It helps to see that Jungkook has similar rules to yours even if they’d been written 3 years prior. 

4. I must not eat anything that could trigger seizures, and I must not do dangerous activities alone or without contacting alpha and Jinnie before and after.

There are also crossed out rules, ones that don’t apply to him anymore. “I must ask Jinnie for permission every time I take alpha’s knot” and “if Jinnie sets out clothes for me in the morning I must wear them until he tells me to take them off” and their brief forays into daily orgasm control and clothing control Jungkook tells you, before they’d realized that these where things that they liked only occasionally and not semi-consistently. 

Your ears perk up at them. but you leave them for another day. 

But Jimin and Namjoon seem particularly stuck on the cum marking thing, Jimin sits- still blushing and begging you to understand, he probably thinks that you got punished for that too even though you weren’t. His scent shifts from cute vanilla to guilty stale gunpowder. 

“-To be fair, I didn’t realize that Namjoon would be upset- “

Namjoon’s eyes had been sharp, “it’s alright pup, you’ve already been punished for it.” And that had been that.  

It’s several days before you really notice any change in how they act around you. (Beyond one morning that Yoongi makes you sit in Jin’s lap and confess every dirty thing you’d done with your mate the night before. Whispered into his ear over breakfast while the pack omega hummed and sipped at his coffee. Jin thinks it was a lovely way to wake up you in his lap smelling all sweet and getting all blushy before 9am).

But when you come into the kitchen for dinner one evening, the world has shifted. 

The most noticeable difference is the absence of any sticky note with the calculated calories sitting next to your usual seat, namjoon reads something on his phone where where you usually sit too, although he lifts his head and smiles at you when you answer Jin’s call of “pup’s! dinner!” shouted through the halls. 

Calorie counting is an old enemy that you’d hope to become your friend eventually But to Namjoon, Jin, and Yoongi- it's clear that that wasn't working, rather reinforcing a bad habit. 

Now there isn’t a single plate filled with food already at the table or one with a sticky note that shows where you will sit, and the longer you look at the table, the more you realize that something’s a little more wrong. 

While you have become used to sitting in Namjoon’s lap (or one of the other’s during dinner time) your seat usually just remains vacant. But this time someone has removed your chair completely, there are only seven at the table tonight. 

Your first instinct is to look to the ground, but there is no pillow or place for you to sit, where you might lean your chin on Namjoon or Jin’s thigh and pliantly take every bite pressed to your lips (you’d negotiated floor sitting as something that you were cautiously interested in).

When you find nothing, something in your chest begins to sting. You spiral momentarily- Seven seats, seven placemats, and seven sets of silver wear, and not a single one for you. But you’re not left to stew in your sudden insecurity for long as Jin turns from where he cooks, brandishing a wooden spoon. 

“Jin what’s-“ you start, but the pack omega cuts you off.

“Color sweetheart?” the meaning is as clear as day- what he asks without asking. Are you okay just going along with what we do right now? Or do you want me to stop and explain? 

Green or yellow?  

Not tonight Jinnie, Red is always an option. After all, it's the first rule on your list for a reason.

“G-green” you stutter, before you can ask any more questions Namjoon turns, guessing at your perplexed look, extinguished when the pack alpha pats his lap. You fall into Namjoon’s chest gladly wrapping your arms around his shoulders. Your thighs folded to the side as usual but the pack alpha isn’t having it. 

His hands on your thighs are firm, not rough, but you feel every inch of where they press. “Sit properly pet.” He moves you, manhandling you, and Namjoon presses you into the table, your stomach digging for a second as you shift.

You feel incredibly small sitting like this, your ass pressed firmly against his Namjoon guides your legs to rest onto either side of his powerful thighs restraining your wiggle-prone limbs. 

Your size difference is deliciously apparent when you sit like this. Even sat in his lap Namjoon is still tall enough that his chin can rest on your head if you slouch down a little. 

Jin’s intimidating as ever in his fluffy apron. The stiff linen is ruffled ever so slightly at the edge but it does nothing to distract from Jin’s glower as he ladles curry onto rice, and tops it off with a little bit of chopped coriander too. The meal smells thick and spicy, with a hint of lime too.

The smell of red sauce and sesame oil fill the house and beckon your other packmates to the table, no one comments on your predicament when they enter although Tae hovers, gliding her fingers across your shoulder as she sits next to you- they must have warned them- someone must have sent a text to the group chat about the scene. 

(You don’t realize how usual that is, how once upon a time it had been normal for Namjoon to check his phone after surgery and find waiting texts of jk wants to go free use today! So if you don’t Wanna see him kneeling by the nest with his mouth open for a knot, let me know now and I’ll tell him to wait until the weekend for a scene Or Our pretty puppy wants to make an appearance this afternoon, is everyone okay with Hobi in puppy space? We’re thinking he won’t be nude just like- boxersnude for comfort.)

Jin has put what can only be described as a monumental portion onto Namjoon’s plate and while the pack alpha usually eats very well- even you have to admit that it’s a little overkill. There is no way that Namjoon can possibly finish the massive portion on his own.  

Oh

Namjoon’s chin hooks over your shoulder, voice raspy deep, and pure command. “If our pup can’t feed herself right that only means we need to take a more direct role in feeding you. Our poor little thing, so tied up in her thoughts that she needs us to do everything for her.” 

You would be embarrassed by the words if he didn’t sound so fond. So endeared that you are so dependent. You melt at the humiliation of it, trying to hide your blush but failing. Jungkook shoots you a knowing wink while Jimin settles in across from you, already shifting like he’s going to have a hard time staying in his seat with such a tantalizing treat in front of him. 

You feel like you want to shrink into a thimble-sized version of yourself ready to curl up in someone's pocket, or sink through the floor and hide. Your anxiety mounts as you look at the plate. There is so much, even if it is for you and the pack alpha to share.

It’s not Namjoon’s hand that settles on your chin, but Jin’s still holding the pot with an oven mitt on the other. “We know how much it is, and we won’t let you eat too little or too much this time pup. From now on, how much you are eating is for us to know. Now, can you tell me your color?” 

They are taking a chance with this, this scene. It hadn’t been explicitly negotiated even if your list has been. This little show of their dominance over you is comparatively small and doesn’t have much- if any risk of hurting you in it.  

You look up at Jinnie for a moment, turning it over in your head, or trying to- Namjoon’s hand's petting over your stomach is a noticeable distraction. You murmur a quiet “green”

Feeding his omegas by hand does something to settle the primal provider instinct in Namjoon’s chest that he can never quite paw at otherwise. Your other packmates don’t look surprised at Namjoon and Jin’s casual dominance of you over the dinner table- conversation flows as easy as it does normally. Although they do a good job of leaving you to your own devices. 

Yoongi’s shoulders have never been more relaxed or at ease as he jokes with Hobi. His hand brushes your thigh at times when you squirm, but Namjoon is always quick to settle you when you get too twitchy, subtle pinches to your inner thigh have you stilling. 

The first bite, and then another, is easy. 

Namjoon lifts the full fork to your mouth and you open obediently. He holds your jaw while you chew, fingers tapping against your collarbones. You spiral as you swallow- another bite already proffered to your lips. 

“There's a good pup, isn’t that better? Eating so sweetly for alpha.” You melt further at the praise. Your mate turns his eyes hot on you as you eat a bite and it's utterly overwhelming.

Jin folds his hands in Infront of his face, leaning on his hands and watching the two of you like it’s a soap opera, commenting sweet praises every few minutes “What a good pup for Joonie.”

Even Hobi doesn’t seem flustered or disgusted by such an obvious act of dominance. You don’t know why you keep checking, keep glancing at him like you expect him to get up and take his plate and go somewhere else in the house. 

You aren’t yet aware of how Hobi prefers to take his meal times when he’s feeling submissive and has the mental energy to go through a negotiation scene; With a puppy bowl on the floor, a collar, and a pair of ears on his head. 

Playing like that will have to wait a little longer still. There has been an itch building in him too- and seeing you act submissively with Namjin only makes him want it too. 

And the ruling pair of your pack miss their little puppy.

You send the alpha an anxious glance, and he raises his eyebrows at you from across the table like he’s surprised. He’s the only one whose willing to directly adress your predicament (none of them would ever dream of teasing you right now, worried about making you too shy). 

“What? It’s not like you’re fucking at the table?” he earns a swat to his thigh for that one. Your packmates are riled at the sight of this, a scene, a small one, and a punishment displayed so casually.

Jungkook’s already fidgeting, nearly needy for something similar. Hobi has a tad bit better control over himself but even he has to admit that such a casual show of dominance has him nearly humming.

The truth is, it’s been too long since a group scene, since a good pack fuck. almost a month and a half now since Tae’s rut and they all piled into the nest room for a few days with the sole purpose of pleasing and satisfying a pack-mates needs. 

When they were at their last apartment and before you, group fucking or even group discipline scenes like this had been so common. And though they’d been resigned to the fact that they were to be more private when you came into your lives now, now that you’re ready- it brings the possibility of all that coming back. 

Your anxiety builds and builds with each bite, although Namjoon gives you a second between each where he eats too (just to give you a second to cool down before the fork is prodding at your lips again) You start to back up with the next bite, head bumping into his shoulder a whine building in your throat. 

Instead of forcing it, Namjoon put the fork down and sets a hand on the back of your neck.  

“Do you need me to scruff you to get through the scene omega?” Namjoon’s voice is authoritative, and he leaves no space for you to avoid the question. 

You barely keep back a whimper, “Can you do it like, just a little, please alpha?” you tack on for good measure. 

Namjoon just barely brings his fingers together, but the effect is instant. You go numb all the way to your toes, nearly sliding out of his lap and slamming into the table were it not for his quick thinking, his arm around your waist vicelike. You let out the smallest- most pupish whine, almost mewling as he releases you and the endorphins rush at your head- thicker and intoxicating than any drug. 

The curry drops out of Tae’s spoon onto the table, but the other alpha is quick to recover. Jimin even teases her for being distracted. Warmth bubbles and gurgles in your stomach, your toes curl and you’re so comfortable. 

It’s only natural for you to get just a little turned on from a scruff. With Namjoon’s nose pressed to your nape, it’s hard for the pack alpha not to notice but as it is he focuses on keeping your limp body in his lap. if you leave a little wet patch of slick on his lap- that’s only something to be handled later with your reward for being so good. 

Namjoon’s mouth waters at the idea of getting on his knees for you again. 

But this is not about sex- not this time, although in another world a knot might do more to settle you than just a simple scruffing- that’s not an option for you yet for obvious reasons.

Your brain goes from frying in anxiety to bunny softness within a few seconds. Fuck, you’re going to have a hard time not asking for that every day. 

“Sorry- sorry I just-“ you let out a whine when words won’t suffice. Being scruffed by Namjoon even a little- feels absolutely liberating. Your mind is a mess of alpha- alphas so nice he feels so nice and strong under you, his arms so safe as they wrap around you. He's smiling- and you'd like him to be smiling for longer- want it badly enough that when he proffers yet you another bite you open your mouth eagerly. Eyes wide and searching for- 

“Good pup”

You start to purr almost instantly. Namjoon wonders what a real scruff would be like if just pinching on the back of your neck just a little had such a visceral effect on you. What it would feel like to get his teeth there, to sink them in and tug. 

He can’t wait to try it. 

Your eyes flutter closed, Namjoon’s thumb and forefinger dig into your cheeks, and you open your mouth obediently. If alpha's not anxious about the food, then you don't need to be. You don't need to do anything but sit and look pretty doing it. Your eyes roll when you taste Jin’s cooking and unbeknownst to you, Yoongi leans his chin on Jin’s shoulder, nuzzling into him in thanks exhaling a heavy breath. 

You let him feed you once, twice, and then a third time before you shake your head, “alpha should eat too.” You’re clumsy with it when you lift the fork to Namjoon’s mouth, almost spilling half of it. But Namjoon takes your bite and you squeak. The conversation starts back up around the table but your eyes flutter closed, curled up in Namjoon’s lap feeling small and safe. Opening your lips when the fork nudges at your lips it but otherwise floating happily with his hands on you- your tether, keeping you from fluttering too far away. 

Namjoon gives you a few seconds between every bite but- but the next time you open your eyes and look down, the plate is nearly empty. And you know Namjoon hasn’t taken nearly as many bites as you.

And you barely feel full, not an inch of anxiety clinging to you.

Jimin tries to make the next bite from his plate look as casual as possible. Chewing slowly “how long are you gonna do this?” Jin shrugs, looking at you, absolutely mewling in Namjoon’s hands, turning into his shoulder for another bite. Namjoon can’t tear his eyes away from you.  

“However long it takes for one of us to get tired of it.” However long it takes for her to not need it, and then maybe a little longer just for us remains unspoken, and unpromised for obvious reasons. 

But if anyone would get Jin's near dogmatic approach to his pack's care- it would be Jimin. Jimin almost chokes on his next bite when he looks over and sees your mouth parted easily, eyes closed and tongue out, undeniably lewd and yet, so cute as you let Namjoon feed you. 

He shifts in his chair, an eager pup as always, Tae hides her smile in her curry. “Can I, maybe do it next time? Feed her” he clarifies with a hard swallow. Jimin’s barely tasted the food this whole meal- so distracted by you that not even taste punctures the moment.

He’s been walking on thin ice since the whole scent marking incident (thin ice in the sense that every act of dominance over you had been carefully regulated by the two older dom’s) and yet now Jin smiles, and he doesn’t have to say yes for Jimin to know that he’s agreed.

~-~

(Demo: Hobi)

A storm rolls through that Wednesday and dumps buckets and buckets of water that the small garden Hobi’s been building at the front of the house desperately needs. But by Thursday the world is freshly watered with not a drop out of place, the summer sun returning with a vengeance after being denied a day. 

Hobi doesn’t usually hate his job even though most of it boils down to customer service and customers are well…pleasant at best and really really shitty at worse. He much prefers making bouquets in the back or reorganizing the annual flats of veggies and petunias where he can just stick his headphones in and ignore the world for a few hours. 

Getting paid for it is a little bit of a perk. 

He doesn’t usually hate his job, but sometimes he pricks his fingers one too many times or has to handle one too many rude customers or like today- the freezers that they keep the florals in just crap out because of the heat. The shop is a little old and rusty in general and many things haven’t been replaced in as many years as Hobi’s been alive. They lose a whole 1/3rd of their inventory that day and close early. The other two freezers packed to the brim with the expensive roses but-

It does have some upsides. Those upsides being a full bouquet of orange daylilies and copper tips, butcher paper bunches of asters- blue tiny stars mixed with yellow-white ones that have become particularly on trend with younger audiences. A small bunch of gardenias that Hobi split with his coworker that he knows are Jin’s favorite for their smell alone. 

They’re not the most attractive bunch of flowers color pallet-wise but Hobi is known for being particular about color. He’s just happy to have something to bring home especially since it smells so nice in his arms on his walk back. 

If he’d known he’d be so laden with blooms he might have taken his car this morning, but he’d woken early with the itch to listen to his favorite songs for a long long while and more than enough time to walk to work. The same itch that only Yoongi really gets; ears ringing and head messy- sick for the medicine of music notes.

The delphinium isn’t his favorite but the track that hums in his head is. They might make nice bouquets if Hobi gets home and sticks them in some water before they crap out. He blushes looking down at his handfuls, the cord of his headphones tangling with the half dozen bushels in his arms. Thinking of the reactions that his pack might have to the flowers makes him more excited with each step. 

Jin loves them, and so does Tae- Hobi knows he’s going to be absolutely smothered when they come home and see. He rarely ever gets to bring more than one or two bushels home.

The midsummer air is hot but shifting, foretelling either another storm or maybe a cold front, something that will hopefully banish the leftover humidity from the storm, his button-down shirt is sticky with sweat. 

Yoongi is fixing the mailbox when Hobi turns onto your street, which isn’t surprising seeing as Namjoon had accidentally backed into it on his way out this morning, late for a surgery and rushing. 

He hasn’t been working on the house so much in the last week, and although Hobi thinks it might be for some larger issue- there also is the fact that the top floor is nearly finished. Not much left to do without Jin picking out the paint color upstairs, and he hasn’t seen it yet so they’re at a stalemate. Yoongi can do no more work without showing him and yet he’s not ready to do that and have Jin judge the culmination of his hard work. 

Hobi can see it from the end of the street if he stands just right; The floor to ceiling windows, the jem box of it- more of a greenhouse than a second floor with how much natural sunlight it must get. There aren’t any other houses that high on their end of the street and there’s more than enough cover from the cypress trees next-door so- Hobi doesn’t think Yoongi was taking too much of a risk with so many windows. 

Maybe he would start working on the back part of the house but the windows for that room haven’t come in yet. He’s heard Yoongi talking with the contractors on the phone more than once about the delays. 

Hobi’s already thinking of turning it into a green room once the weather sours. Summer has been here and is here for a while yet but colder weather will be here in a few short months whether they like it or not, pretty soon they won't need to worry about what parts of the house are as yet unfilled with furniture with plants to fill every nook and cranny. 

Yoongi's arms are sweat speckles and a little dirty with fresh specks of sawdust as he fiddles with the shovel and the few decorative rocks that support the post, but he’s finally gotten it looking the way he wants by the time he straightens up and sees Hobi coming on the sidewalk 

He smiles, showing off his gums, and Hobi hides his blush behind the chamomile. 

“Hey daisy” he murmurs, low and thoughtful as he catches around Hobi's waist, gravely enough to make Hobi blush roses onto his cheeks yet again, He pulls Hobi in for a small scent mark and the alpha is further brought down. “What’s this?” 

“Fucking freezer was on the fritz again, spent half of the day trying to get it to work but in the end we just-” 

You are never far off, Yoongi's little shadow and Hobi isn’t sure why he trails off when he sees you folded oh so carefully on the porch furniture. Knees brought up to your chest, half a plate of cut watermelon in front of you. Your face rests in the shade below one of the large leaves of Hobi’s fig tree.  

You’ve been doing so well recently and Hobi had almost forgotten what it looked like when you go non-verbal. That’s his first thought when he sees you, that somehow time is regressing. You're still in pajamas even though it’s passed midday, eyes closed and chest rising evenly. Although there is something in your body- tense, perfectly placed- that lets him know you’re not asleep. 

But then you open your eyes and Hobi recognizes that this isn’t one of those days- you’re still mostly present, just small and sleepy and domestic. His heart doesn’t stop thudding a little too hard, an omega waiting for her alphas to come home. 

Your alphas, Hobi is one of those, whether either of you want it or not. Both of you belong to Namjoon and Seokjin and now that your position in the pack hierarchy has been solved- technically- you belong to him too.

Hobi’s fingers tighten around the bouquets in his hands. 

Jungkook hasn’t let you forget your new status in the pack (although really- had anything really change?). He's man-handled you into a cuddle puddle over movie nights and has firmly bullied you into nesting the way that he likes; something that Hobi has only ever seen you go small and obedient for. Not plucky and defiant the way that Jin would if Jungkook tried that with him.

Jungkook had even made you wear one of his shirts to bed one night, had all but plucked one of your sleeping sets off your shoulders so that you could put on something that smelled like him. leaning forward to nuzzle and nibble at your shoulder again, refreshing the hickeys that taehyung or jimin had left- just barely fading. 

God help them all if Jungkook had been born an alpha. 

Pup or not- omega or not, He’s surprisingly possessive of you. They were all so used to Jungkook being the lowest ranking pup- always ready to show his tummy and be at the dom's mercy- that they’d never paused to wonder much of a menace he could be where their situation different. 

You watch Hobi, blink slowly at him like a cat might blink at a kitten, and close your eyes again.

Hobi swallows. Fingers teasing at the delicate chamomile in his hands (it’s his favorite) Yoongi takes the heavy lily stems from him pressing his face into them and sniffing. “What’s with her?” 

There is a tiny almost imperceptible dot of pollen on Yoongi's nose when he pulls away, Hobi reaches out to wipe it away without thinking.

Yoongi shrugs, voice a little quiet. “She’s been like that all day, didn’t want to sit in her nest- but she’s talking- so at least there’s that.”

“She’s not non-verbal?” he asks to confirm. Hobi does not keep his voice to a hush so that you might not hear them talking about you. Jin and Namjoon talk about you this way so why can’t he?

Yoongi purses his lips, “not quite.” 

You open your eyes as Hobi passes, and he proffers you one of the bouquets. Tilting it down at your level so that you can lift your body off the outdoor couch and sniff at them before you make a happy noise in your throat. It satisfies him, so Hobi leaves you there and heads inside in search of their largest mason jar. 

Trimming the blooms and putting them into a bouquet is hardwired into his body at this point. His mind wanders as he goes, trimming, fluffing, popping off the shriveled blooms with his fingers- no scissors necessary. 

He’s halfway through chopping down the stems before the frustration builds and he plucks off a perfectly good bud on accident.

He's left to stare at the little bud, curled tightly in his fist, delicate and damaged by his fingers. Never to bloom now that he's cut it off. It's not his first time accidentally damaging a perfectly good stem because he was thinking too hard about something, and it probably won't be the last. 

Hobi looks down at the small pink flower for longer than he’s willing to admit. 

The house is quiet, the rest of the pack won’t be home for the next hour and that is more than enough time to fix this. 

He puts the rest of the unopened flowers into the water without arranging them, begging them silently to survive for just a few more hours. Hobi snatches Yoongi’s flannel from where it hangs by the door, chocolate smelling and happy with the beta’s scent- it’s perfect for what he needs. The keys in the catch-all jingle as he leaves the quiet house behind

He tosses it on your lap as he passes, fisting his keys with a muted clink of metal against metal. You lift your head, startled by his sudden re-appearance so soon.  

Hobi’s not sure why he knows that you were just biting the inside of your cheek when you look at him, grabbing at the flannel on your lap to keep it from sliding to the floor. Fingers curling in the precious fabric like you’d needed something to hold onto. 

“I’m going to drive to the beach for a bit, you comin'?” you still for a second, then oh so carefully stand, wobbling a little. Hobi resists the urge to grab your elbow as you pull on the flannel. 

Hobi has a water bottle in his car. He’s going to hand it to you the second he gets in.

You slide on your shoes and Yoongi cleans his hands with a towel, looking every bit the househusband wet dream that he is. He looks like he’s about to ask you something before he turns to Hobi instead. “How long do you think you’ll be?”

Hobi tells him an hour, probably no more. “Okay.” Yoongi eyes you- wary and concerned, but doesn’t stop you from getting in the car without him. You don’t ask Yoongi to come either although the beta stands at the ready like he maybe expects you to. 

You’re transported from one cozy spot to the other and Hobi gets in his car and lets you buckle yourself in before he pulls away. He doesn’t prompt you to speak the entire drive there, letting the music hover where words might fail. His tastes get a little bit more mellow without Yoongi in his passenger seat to spark his sound into delicious deep base rhythms, tamed by your quiet and companionable silence. 

You let him play the music he wants; you don't say you like the first song or the second but that's fine. Hobi will eventually play something you like- one thing he prides himself on is his good music taste. 

It shifts from; and I really wanna let you go, cuz I just wanna be only yours to Spinning out, waiting for ya to pull me in but you don’t fault him for his choice of oldies as the bridge sparks indie summer bright and cinematic when you turn from town to beach boardwalk and pull in to a place to park.

Hobi turns the car off and the music stops. “Do you want to go down to the water?” 

Your ankles rub together like a cricket, toes perched, shoes abandoned on the floor of the car. This part of the coast has the berm is built up so that people can drive their cars close without having to let the air out of their tires or drive onto the sand; something that Jungkook and Hobi have been trying to convince the pack to do forever but Jin and Namjoon have been resistant too- at least until one of your cars gets too old to consider fixing and becomes a beach beater. 

The storm a few days ago has left the water dark and churning, it’s mid-week and even mid-day and high tide so there are few people here. Hobi isn’t expecting you to speak- not really. If you were truly non-verbal, he’s sure you wouldn’t force yourself 

But you reply, quiet. “I’m not sure I want to get sandy today, can we just sit here for a few minutes?”

“Sure.” Hobi turns the car back on and the music plays in the background like a special sort of loving, mixing with the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks. It only takes a few minutes for the salty air to turn his bangs all sticky, make them curl like orchid throats against his forehead, and sometimes he looks your way and finds your hair similarly pulled at by the ocean wind. 

“Are you going to keep stewing in silence or are you going to tell me what's wrong today?” Hobi is perhaps the only one who can push it out of you through force alone. But at least understanding waits on the other side of the bridge.  

You lean your cheek against his car door, finger tracing a slash in the plastic. You watch the ocean, the waves that recede and then crash, back and forth and back and forth. It’s not sunset yet but it’s a near thing, people are already starting to gather in their chairs to watch it from here. In the distance, a Ferris wheel and merry-go-round jingle. Moving syrup slow at this distance. 

“there’s- this itch under my skin, like something's going to happen, or like something's going to go wrong. I guess it’s just bugging me.” You can’t explain it and you won’t need to because Hobi out of all of them gets it. 

Hobi hums, low in his throat, Hobi doesn’t often sound like an alpha, unlike the others he doesn’t growl or purr very often.  “I felt something similar, a few months after I like- started getting courted. It’s hard to get comfortable with good things without feeling like there is another shoe waiting to drop.”

You fiddle with the edge of Yoongi’s flannel, pulling it over your knobby knees. There is a bruise there; finger-sized and purple. Hobi wonders where you got it from and if you categorized the hurt. It could literally be from anywhere but still-

You curl up looking fragile in his front seat. He teases at his keys with his fingertips, wanting to start the car and take you somewhere where you might be able to get the care that you need but unable to make the push to. 

“Don’t tell him but sometimes I just want space to be like- a little sad sometimes without it hurting Yoongi,” your eyes are like the ocean, furious, bubbling towards histeria, words spit like sea spray “I don’t even know why I'm sad, everything been so good recently too- I’m just-"

"Restless?”

You fall silent and Hobi screws his eyes shut, and his eyes sting with saltwater, aching dully from the ocean air. He stays quiet because he doesn’t have a good fix for you. Maybe it’s enough just to bare your pain, not to try and fix it for now. 

After a heavy moment, you sigh, then refold your body like thoughts reorganized sitting up more properly. “Life is short but also unbearably long” you quote, more for the sake of it than anything. 

Hobi’s fingers drum against the steering wheel “It is. But I think it can be sorta pretty if you let it” Hobi reaches over and ruffles your hair on a whim, you duck away from the touch- affronted like a cat at just being woken up. 

Hobi does it again extra rough- truly messing your hair up just for good measure, you push his hands away and grumble threatening,

 “next time you’re about to leave for work, and you’ve spent ages on your hair- I’ll be waiting” 

He laughs leaning his elbow up against the car door while he watches you fix the mess he made, taking your hair out and putting it back up in a messy something. Hobi’s never had long hair- it looks really hot (And not in the sexy way hot).

 “what are you so worried for- it’s not like anyone important is going to see you?” You shrug, and fix your hair in the mirror. Omegas and their vanity. Hobi wonders why it stopped bothering him when it’s you. 

(If he looked closely, he might see you hiding your blush, but Hobi has never been known for his observation skills.)

“I’m kind of hungry” he says, and it’s true, Hobi rarely ever packs a lunch with him to work, only on the long days, theres no need to make the effort when he only works 4-6 hour shifts “Is it okay if we stop by the usual spot on the way home?” 

“Sure” 

Hoseok struggles to get the car started, it turns over once, then again before the engine reeves to life. Your phone lights with a notification but you don't check it and the sea waves crash behind you ever-present. Not stopping, not even now that the storm is over.

The ocean never stops moving and you’ve barely been here for 10 minutes but you don’t mind- it’s all about the drive anyway especially when you can’t get out and walk along the beach today- the tide is too high and the seas too angry.

“Can you make mine up the way you did last time? With the fries and stuff?”  

Hobi hides his smile as he lingers at the exit to the parking lot, turning his face away so that you won’t see. “Of course, I can.” 

The song on the stereo plays, the queue progressing because Hobi had fiddled with the playlist before you’d even started driving, allowing you to sink back into comfortable silence without pause. 

You set your hand on the center console as the speakers play, the singer speaks dolefully, the hiss of it going in and out plesant; I just wanted you to know, that this is me trying.

at least i’m trying. 

“I like this song” you comment quiet enough to be lost in the music.

But Hobi hears you, and at the next red light, without being prompted, Hobi adds the song to an unnamed playlist.

~-~

(Hidden track: Hyejin) ( 2 years prior) 

You recline along Hyejin’s lap, your body stiff, not only because you're worried about tearing the fresh stitches on your back, the little lines of silk thread closing the marks, the letters that your husband carved there not hours ago.

Right now, you're more nervous about getting her scent on you and tracking any hint of this home to Geumjae. It would be a death sentence after this- to wear another scent home so brazenly.

Above you she hovers, petting over your hair with her long-manicured fingernails, her short hair falls over her face, pretty. Hyejin is so pretty- pretty in a way that you could never hope to be. 

She hadn't made any sort of disapproving noise at your distance only cooed like an owner kooing at a puppy’s hurt paw when she'd seen the marks on your back. The doctor had left a short while ago, and you're hummy, a little high from the pill they'd pushed against your lips. You’d barely avoided the humiliation at it, her manicured fingers petting at your tongue making sure you swallowed. 

But you’d had no choice but to be obedient. 

You're high enough not to feel the pain and the room is so spiny- it feels like your body is just a bunch of leaves being turned over in the wind. That doesn't apply to your mind, turning over details of where you are or who you're with without much haze. 

You, in a master bedroom; a nest room- thick red velvet on the walls and thin plumb gauze that sections off a lavish nest of the finest Egyptian cotton. An expensive tufted velvet bowl, the perfect nesting barrier. It’s a very perfect and precise nest, not a pillow or a blanket or an omega out of place. All overseen by Moonbyul, reclining on a tufted settee of the same color sipping at a glass of white wine.

There are two omega’s in the nest, but they’re hardly more animated than any of the designer pillows. You wonder how much they cost. You’ve never met Moonbyul’s and Hyejin’s other packmates before today. 

Though their still figures might have more to do with the drugs on the side table labeled with fancy names that you fixate on. Arymo ER, Ketamine-8h, a orange white lid bottle of heat inducers, a bottle of heat and rut suppressants. And one, the vial that there is certainly a lot of, blue-capped, plenty of it sitting empty on the dresser and the wastebasket. 

LPH-44 (Alpherine Clorohexadine)

Your eyes roll into the back of your head as the dose really starts to hit you and you shift, letting out a small noise. Hyejin's hands on you get hungry, one of hers gripping under your ribs a hair too close to your chest to be proper. 

"Oh, does that feel better pup?" she finishes tightening the bandages on you and your body gives a dull throb, not drugged up enough apparently. She pulls you up, and you go like a rag doll across her lap. "We really should be getting you into the nest my cute little doll.”

It isn’t just you high and vulnerable right now, Moonbyul and Hyejin's other packmates are both equally as giggly at her comment, you thought that both of them were passed out but it turns out it's just one of them and she’s waking, shifting in her tiny little night dress, translucent white lace that does so little to hide her body. 

You’ve never seen another omega wearing so little.  

The room is thick with the smell of slick, a scent so foreign to you on account of how little you smelled it anymore- even from yourself. Their giggles litter the edge of your peripheries, twirling ribbons that echo in the large room. Your mouth feels like it’s stuck together with peanut butter as you try to voice your protests but-

But Moonbyul gives a hum of agreement, and you realize Hyejin had never meant her comment to be for you.

up little doll, let alpha hold you.

You feel Moonbyul's hands on you, pushing at them weakly before she can lift you up. It takes great effort for you to speak, to make your tongue and teeth and vocal cords operate properly. "No- don't wanna," you blink blearily, and she sits, huffing and gesturing at you and sharing a laden look with Hyejin. 

See, I told you that you didn’t give her enough. 

Being invited into a pack omegas nest is one thing, being invited into an omega's nest while one of their omegas is in pre-heat is another and sends a very clear message that you're not prepared to answer. Not now or with the way that Hyejin's hands tangle in your hair, her words murmured quickly dissipate like a ripple on a lake, you won't remember them later but-

"She seems to be in good condition, at least he hasn't damaged her too much yet."

"You call this good condition?" It's not angry or vindictive, if anything their comments on your body are playful. like you're a project- some house purchased off the lot that just needs work.

One of the omegas in the nest is staring at you with bright eyes, not quite lucid just like yours- who knows if she’s high on drugs or on the hormones of pre-heat. Funny, you haven't felt like that in so long, you've almost forgotten what it feels like. 

The omegas peer up and out of the nest, staring at you like two children presented with a new toy they can't open till Christmas, one of them makes grabby hands, and Moonbyul goes to soothe them leaving you with Hyejin. 

The pain in your back from the cuts sting and ache. Subtly drawing you out of your drug-induced fog until you can pull yourself out of Hyejin's arms though it only makes the room spin harder, you decide there and then that you don’t like drugs- don’t like anything that makes you feel so unsteady.

You suck on your dry lips, and a second later there is a hand on your chin.  Hyejin, beckoning you to drink from moonbyul’s glass of half finished wine. 

With her hand on your chin, there is no disobeying. 

You remember at least to be polite. In a wolf’s den there is no reason to thank one for sharpening its teeth and yet- "thank you, thank you for helping me" Hyejin’s long manicured nails rub a bit of the wine that’s gotten off your cheek, and she presses the nail between her own lips, purring at your taste. 

"If we weren’t going to be otherwise occupied very soon," Hyejin says, with a clear tip of her head in the direction of her quickly sweetening nest, "we could help you, you know, Moonbyul and I- we could keep you safe from him if you only let us."

"You know I can't ask that of you." but the protest sounds weak even to your own ears. 

Moonbyul sits on the edge of the nest, and the two omegas quickly wrap themselves around her, one looping their arms around her neck to nose at her scent gland, and the other pulling at her legs, letting out small keening noises trying to get between them. She behaves like they haven't touched her at all, like she's not nearly getting eaten out right now, petting gently at the omegas head that noses between her legs. 

You try not to look but when you tear your eyes away, Hyejin is watching you with a smile cracking at her red lips.  "Be honest pup, you can't afford to go without our help much longer."  

You know that nothing comes without its price and you don't often get something without anything in return. But you're desperate, and as much as it chills you to admit it- 

Hyejin is right, you don't know how long you'll survive on your own. A few months maybe, till Christmas if you’re lucky. 

You whisper the words, still so afraid "he could kill me. Just for you saying that." It's the truth. 

Hyejin brushes a manicured hand across your cheek. "I know, but if what Moonbyul and I have planned works out- and it will work out- then we'll be the ones holding all the cards and he'll be dead in his grave."

So they do have a plan, your husband is always going on about the moon family and their blasted penchant for scheming, always telling you that you need to stay away from them- unable to confront Moonbyul about her omegas friendship with you without risking an internal war. 

You furrow your eyebrows, thinking it through. If they’ve got a plan already then this is hardly your fault. you’re just trying to make the best out of a bad situation- even if this feels like trading one jailer for another. 

you want so badly to be free, to not worry about pain anymore, to not be in the thick of it, you just want a spot to rest your head, to feel a little safe. 

and well, the omegas hyejin and moonbul keep look well taken care of- happy- if not for their slack smiles.

You swallow and resign yourself to what might happen, whatever it may be. It can’t be worse than dying- than the hell waiting for you back home. 

As if in response, the marks on your back throb anew. Whatever they gave you it's wearing off quickly. 

You reach up fiddling with the collar of her shirt where the bee tattoo lingers. It's a sweet gesture, one that makes her want to coo at you and deposit you in her nest, where all perfect and pretty little things should go. 

But you're not her's- at least not yet. 

"Okay, what do you want me to do?"

Her teeth look just a little sharper when she smiles down at you. "Alright, listen closely pup.” 

~-~

(Outro: Taehyung)

It’s late, and the rest of the pack is curled around Jin and Tae on the couch, a forgotten movie spitting its credits out. In a few minutes, Jin will wake them and will heard his pack into the nest room for sleep, but Tae knows it won’t feel quite as good as this.

With Namjoon piled by the door with a lapful of Jimin nosing sleepily at the pack alphas stomach, with Jungkook curled in a small mess of blankets beside him in a cute little mini nest, cheek pressed against Hobi’s thigh. With Yoongi asleep and reclining against Hobi’s chest with you in his lap similarly prone, your and Jungkook’s hands twined between the two of you.  

There's something budding there, Tae is almost sure of it. She sensed it the second you came home from the beach today, the two of you quiet- but not startlingly so. 

She’d watched you both very closely-  the way he’d gotten you a glass of water while you ate, Namjoon and Jin eyeing you waiting for a meltdown but waiting in vain as you ate side by side with him, the way Hobi had gone to rearrange the flowers after dinner- and had saved a small mason jar full of blooms for your bedside table. Similar vases full sit on either side of Jin’s nest room. One on the kitchen table, and one on the dining room too. 

Tae just hopes that nothing ruins it. 

Tae is just barely awake with her head placed in her pack omegas lap trying to savor this for as long as it lasts. because she knows that going to bed won’t feel quite as good.

You and Yoongi will sink across the hall, will cleave this group in two. Tae wonders if it frustrates Jin (looking up at him, his face colored all blue from the tv screen and his open phone) to not have you nest with them still and sleep in the pack bed. 

The omega can’t know what he does when he touches Tae, if Tae were a poet (and we all know Tae is a poet) she’d call the feeling shimmering, the heat over asphalt on all but the hottest days, delicious ripples of sensation that pull at Tae’s very seems as he carding his fingers through her hair. 

It’s gotten so long, a grown-out shag of cinnamon cuteness. Red-tinged at the ends from their beach day. She’s only just started to really like it- her hair grown out just enough to start to be considered feminine. She catches herself looking at her reflection extra long in the mirror these days, struck by the idea that somethings changing and whatever it is- she likes it. 

Her face looks just a little rounder like this, her eyes poking out from beneath her long bangs a little more doe eyed. It makes her wonder what transitioning might look like if she where strong enough to reach for it- what she’d look like with waist or even shoulder length hair. Would it look pretty? Would it look as perfect as she imagines? Could she get highlights and fun colors and braid it side by side with you? 

It’s yet another reminder of all the unsaid things between them when Jin speaks. Earth shattering and simple, love is often a breaking force that way, especially when you don’t want it to be. 

“You need a haircut, I scheduled one for you tomorrow pup.”

Tae’s heart drops into her belly, the words low and hard and aching like a wound. Her first reaction is that she doesn’t want to. She freezes and stiffens just barely; Jin picks up on it. tearing his eyes away from his phone and looking down at Tae- her scent just barely souring before she gets a handle on it. 

“Taehyung baby, what’s wrong?”

“I just didn’t expect to have plans tomorrow, but it’s- it’s fine. It’s okay.”

It’s the furthest thing from okay as Tae stews, unsure. The calming pheromones that Jin is pumping out to soothe one of his alphas aren’t working on Tae at all as she thinks about the haircut- thinks about cutting off the one bit of herself that she actually likes- the one thing about her that actually doesn’t give her dysphoria but euphoria just a little.

It takes real effort for Tae to meditate her scent into remaining cinnamon and sweet. Tae’s first instinct is always to hide, like some insect masquerading as a piece of bark, anything to avoid the unpleasant teeth of a predator or something that might tear at her delicate wings. 

Jin isn’t one, but Tae still can’t say anything to it. The words bounce around her stomach like a metal ball in a pinball machine, there one moment, then jingling around her chest the nest. 

Tae can’t say it, she can’t say that she doesn’t want it because Jin is watching her. She can’t ask for what she wants- if there was ever a time to confess to something- maybe now would be it. 

I’m actually not sure I want too, I’ve been thinking about my hair recently Jin,  I think I might- I think it might make me happier to keep it longer- to grow it out like a g-girl- Jin I think that I’m- that I could be- 

She couldn’t speak even if she wanted to. Her throat closing up, is this what going non-verbal is like?  She is at once, drowning underneath her fear of disappointing her packmates (and Jin in particular) and burning from the inside out with want, (a wanting maybe triggered in her from your first kiss, your first time doing makeup in the library room- you. Just you. Without you- Tae might never have wanted this so bad.)

Tae can only keep going like this for so long before hiding her gender actually starts to kill her. and it feels like something in her was just ripped open, her heart offered up willingly to disappointment. 

Jin clicks away at his phone, unaware of Tae’s conflicted heart, drying up like a flower without any water. 

“Will you pick up kookie after work and take him with you? He’s looking like a shaggy pup too. I’d ask you to take Hobi but he says he wants to let his hair grow out a little.” 

it’s not jin’s fault, he still thinks that tae wants this kind of babying, still needs to be reminded to get haircuts and grooming like this. So Tae says a quiet whimpered goodbye in her head, bleeding out onto Jin’s lap and the couch. metaphorically of course. Not a drop remains spilled. Tae will not make a fuss for this. 

On the couch, Jimin twitches, as if somehow he knows that his soulmate is hurt- that something hurtful is happening to Tae- even in his sleep. 

Tae lets out a single held breath,

And agrees.  

~-~

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~-~

Extra: Hobi’s playlist 

Harry Styles - Satelite  Maye - Yours  Taylor swift - This is me trying Willow smith - meet me at our spot  Hozier - Cherry Wine  Post Malone - I Like you 

[anonymityisfunwriter]

Two Sides of The Same Coin - Enchanted (Outtake)

"I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you…"

Pairing: Sunshine!Reader x Grumpy!Bucky Barnes

Where this was supposed to go: It was supposed to serve as a parallel to the 'You are In Love' chapter. This was sort of Sunshine's collection of memories for her 'realizing she's in love with Bucky' chapter.

Why I cut it out: As much as I hate to say it, it didn't fit with Sunshine's character. Sunshine wears her heart on her sleeve, she feels emotions which is what makes her the opposite of Bucky, her struggle is with dealing with those emotions. So just her as a character, I like to think of her falling in love like TFIOS quote: "I fell in love like you fall asleep, slowly, then all at once". At least that's what I think. So it didn't make sense for there to be a big realization chapter for her because she's kind of known the whole time. It also didn't feel like as strong of a chapter as Bucky's POV. 

--

Waking up to Bucky was the most strangely comfortable thing you'd ever experienced. You watched him breathe in and out. He looked so peaceful, so at ease. The normal crinkles in the corner of his eyes were gone and there wasn't a single trace of his infamous scowl.

You knew it wasn't possible. You'd known Bucky less than a year, you'd never met him before. So you wondered why it felt you had? Why was it so easy to genuinely laugh with him? There were no forced smiles or faked laughs. You found yourself needing to fill those silences less and less in his presence. It was practically effortless to be in his presence and let the facade down brick by brick. 

And somewhere along the way, your friendship felt like a whole lot more. Your thoughts echoed around him, and he was almost always on your mind. All roads kept leading to him. You found yourself smiling to yourself, blushing when you looked back and reminisced. Somewhere along the way, you'd been put in a trance that made everything he did so captivating, so enchanting.  

He found your overdramatic and energetic tendencies endearing.

You found his cool, calm demeanor soothing.

Exact opposites, but integral to each other. 

Past those butterflies, past the thrilling, electric attraction lay so much more. You were used to the rush, the excitement of life and using that to entice people into staying into your life. But those quiet, stolen moments with Bucky felt just as exciting. 

You had attachment issues, abandonment issues, issues that sometimes you weren't sure would ever really be resolved. You'd been told this many times. Trust was an abstract, dynamic concept to you- one not easily explained to others.

You trusted the team. You trusted them with your life. But you never got too close.

They saw a sunny, bright personality. A personality that was mostly true to who you were, but not entirely you. You didn't think that other part of you would get anyone to stay. 

But, more often than not, you found yourself showing those bits and pieces to Bucky. Like when you looked in his eyes, you knew that no matter what you showed him, he would stay. You could trust him with the broken pieces of you that didn't glimmer but were dull and jagged and cut people that got too close.

You didn't think people would stay for anything but the sunshine. That if they saw the clouds, they'd leave. And Bucky had seen the clouds. And he stayed. 

You found yourself letting go, jumping headfirst into this completely new feeling without a facade to break your fall. You trusted him to catch you. 

There wasn't a moment that you could pin, a time when that feeling just emerged suddenly. It was elusive, flickering. And with each flicker, you felt that feeling lasting longer, and somewhere along the way, it became the most permanent, steady fixture in your life:

And though he's still fighting, out of the corner of Bucky's eye, he sees the other bad guy overwhelm you. He clenches his jaw, fighting even harder to make his way to you. The guy sweeps your leg, sharply kicking your ankle, sending you tumbling on the ground. 

"Damn it," he hisses.

"That was such a cheap shot," you scold, still on the ground with the man above you. 

With your good leg, you kick the man away and send one of the loose steel beams from the ceiling hurling on top of him, knocking him out cold.

Bucky sighs in relief, but wonders why you didn't do that earlier.

Once the men in front of him are subdued, he jogs over to you. You're already trying to pull yourself up, but he stops you, crouching down to look at the injury. As he crouches down, he winces at your ankle, already swelling and beginning to bruise. "How bad does it hurt?"

"It's fine. Barely even hurts," you lie, clenching your teeth as you feebly attempt to put any pressure on it. 

"That was so convincing," he sarcastically remarks. He sighs, knowing you two have about a mile walk back to the jet, but there's no way you're going to make it back like this. "Well, you're not going to make it back like this."

"You're not going to leave me, right?" you blurt. 

He looks bewildered for a moment, but quickly shakes his head. "Why the hell would I leave you?"

"Sorry," you sigh, playfully shrugging, "Abandonment issues."

He nods in understanding. "What I meant was, you can try hobbling back or I can just carry you."

"You don't have to do that, I can walk," you insist.

"You probably can, but it'll take twice as long, and the Sun's already setting."

"Are you scared of the dark?" you chuckle.

He rolls his eyes, standing up from his crouched position. "Okay, I tried."

You look at him in confusion for a moment, but you don't get the chance to say anything before he's effortlessly throwing you over his shoulder. A shriek leaves you mouth as you're practically tossed over his shoulder. "Put me down!"

"Are you going to stop being difficult?"

"No."

"Then we're walking back like this."

You tap his back twice. "Okay, okay, I give up."

He humphs triumphantly, "That's what I thought."

You sigh in relief as he carefully places you back on the ground. 

"Now, hop on," he says, gesturing to his back. "Unless, you want me to carry you in my arms."

You sigh again, being carried in his arms like that- it feels too intimate. You begrudgingly mutter, "Fine."

He smirks as he lifts you back up, slinging you on his back as easily as a normal backpack.

You place your arms on both of his shoulder and decide, since he's being so smug about this, you will be too. "Onward," you order. He looks over his shoulder with a wry smirk and a raised eyebrow. "Please?" you amend, with a pleading look on your face.

He doesn't say anything, but continues walking down the path you marked on the way there. 

"You were pulling your punches," he comments over his shoulder after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

"I'm not going to hurt people if I don't have to."

"I'm trying to say this as nicely as I can, but they're not. They're not pulling their punches. If you give them half a chance, they'll take the shot. Every single time. So you can't- you can't pull your punches."

"It usually works out for me."

"I don't know how you do it."

"What?"

"Unfailing trust that people are going to do the right thing."

"Usually when you give them the chance, they do."

"Not in my experience."

"Mine either, but if people aren't worthy of trust, then what's it all for?"

"You got me there," he admits.

-

"So..." Bucky exhales, hands stuffed in his pocket as you two walk on the sidewalk. "Why New York?"

You look at him strangely and chuckle. 

"What?" he asks.

"Nothing, I think you may have forgotten that I didn't exactly choose to be here."

"Right," he awkwardly nods. 

"I do like it here. I like the city," you offer.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," you nod. "I could see why Taylor Swift would write a song about it."

"As a native New Yorker, I'm trying really hard not to be offended that the first thing that comes to mind is a Taylor Swift song."

"You shouldn't be," you offer. "It's Taylor Swift."

"Whatever," he scoffs, though you can see a hint of a smile. 

"You know what I just noticed? I don't hear any whistling today."

"Whistling?"

"And no one's tried to talk to me. Weird," you shrug. 

"Please tell me you don't talk to random strangers on the street," he asks, scowling at the pedestrians that walk by the two of you.

"Sometimes. But Sam told me not to."

He sighs in relief, though he feels the inclination to never let you walk the city streets alone. "Good."

-

"Doll?" Bucky asks, scanning the common room for you.

"Shh..." you hush, reaching out from underneath the table to grab his ankle. He jolts in shock, ducking underneath the table to find you crouched.

He joins you ducked under the table without even asking you what you're doing. "You remember I'm a trained assassin, right? Probably not the best idea to scare the shit out of me."

"Oh yeah, so scary," you mock. And despite that fact that you just made fun of him, it pulls at Bucky's heartstrings that you're not even remotely intimidated by him. "Now, that you're here. You're an accomplice."

"An accomplice?" 

"It means someone who helps someone else-"

"I know what it means," he interjects.

"Oh, okay. I just learned what it meant, and you're definitely my accomplice now."

"Accomplice in what exactly?"

"I'm pulling a prank."

"A prank?" Buck deadpans.

"Like a practical joke-"

"I know what a prank is," he says, bumping his head at the top of the table. He rubs the top of his head, watching you try not to laugh at him."Why are you, of all people, pulling a prank? And on who?"

"Well since they won't stop messing with us about- you know," you insinuate, not wanting to bring up the team's fascination with your friendship- or that they all believed you and Bucky were attracted to each other. "I figured it's time to for some payback."

"Okay? And how exactly do you plan on doing that?"

"Oh, well I Saran-wrapped Tony's suit. But who's the only other person that won't quit messing with us?" you ask with a knowing grin. 

"Steve," Bucky nods definitively with a mischievous grin.

"Exactly."

"This isn't a good idea," Bucky whispers upon seeing a devious glint in your eye. It amused him, definitely intrigued him, but he his friend could theoretically make the teasing even worse. 

"What if we pin the whole thing on Sam?"

"Sold," Bucky instantly replies.

"Now how do we get back at Steve? What would really get him?"

"I got it."

After finishing your scheme with Bucky, you sat on the edge of the common room and waited the chaos to begin. And it did.

"I'm telling you, I don't know how it got there! Why would I have your shield?" Sam remarks loudly, walking down the hall right on Steve's heels.

"I don't know, you tell me, Sam," Steve huffs, holding up his shield in accusation. 

"If I did hide your shield, why the hell would I put it under my bed? That's stupid."

"What's stupid is trying to hide my shield from me," Steve retorts.

"That AI is lying!" Sam accuses, pointing up at the ceiling. "I haven't touched your shield."

"You think FRIDAY is setting you up?" Steve scoffs.

"All I'm saying is FRIDAY's clearly got something against me because I didn't touch your shield!" Sam vehemently insists.

"Wilson hid your shield?" Tony asks, storming into the room. "Because someone thought that it'd be hilarious to cling-wrap my suit. My very expensive, irreplaceable suit!"

"How is everything getting pinned on me?"

"FRIDAY," Tony loudly calls. "Who was the last person in my lab?"

"Mr. Wilson, sir."

Sam's mouth drops as you and Bucky watch from the sidelines trying your very best to keep a straight face. "How'd you do that?" Bucky whispers under his breath, using his hand to smother his chuckles. 

"What? Trick FRIDAY?" you ask. Bucky nods, pressing his lips together as the three men continue bickering back and forth. "I didn't. I just asked nicely."

"You asked FRIDAY nicely?"

"Exactly."

-

Somewhere between those quick remarks and playful conversations, you found yourself irrevocably attached to him.

But even more shocking, you felt so incredibly secure in that.

Even though you knew that this life was dangerous, that the next moment was never really guaranteed, you weren't scared when he was there.

With the life you had lived and were living, you didn't speak in absolute's and ever's. You could hope and you could wish, but there that concealed side of you knew that good things rarely lasted. And there was a part of you that was entranced by Bucky, but a much bigger part of you felt like your safe haven was with him.

Being excited wasn't all that important to you, most things were exciting to you. But feeling safe, feeling secure, it meant everything- and Bucky had that feeling in spades. You felt like you could see forever in his smile, in the way that he said your name, in those peaceful silences.

He felt like home.

"I know you're not well versed in societal norms, but watching someone sleep is usually considered creepy," he sleepily exhales.

"You have freckles," you quietly observe, your thumb lightly stroking the light dusting of freckles on his cheek. "I didn't know that."

Surprisingly, he didn't jolt away from your touch anymore. Instead, he leaned into it with his eyes still shut. "Most people don't get close enough to see them."

"Then I'm glad I get to see them."

"Me too," he hums, tightening his arms around you to pull you closer. "Go back to sleep, I don't feel like getting up yet."

"Two Sides Of The Same Coin" Chapter List AnonymityIsFun Masterlist