#quentin devillers

[theblurrinessofbeingalive]

yeah, no, sorry, I can’t come in to work today. yeah, I’m having shrimp emotions about fictional characters again. ye- yeah, it’s gonna be all day.

[hiddensun]

I woke up this morning with the overwhelming realization that Eliot and Quentin from the magicians are just the saddest version of devil's minion. Tall, elegant disaster man (Armand and Eliot) desperately in love with puppy boy who would sacrifice all for them (Daniel and Quentin).

[the-breath-in-air]

9 Queer Movies from the 1990s You May Not Have Heard Of

It's New Years, which means it's time for lists. And while everyone else is doing 'top X of 2023,' I've decided to list 9 queer movies from the 1990s. Why? Because I wanna. Plus, in discussions of representation, I often see folks talk about it with a heavy focus on mainstream 'Hollywood' produced movies, which leads folks to talk as though progress has been linear. As if, in the past there was no/'bad' queer representation and now there is 'good' representation. But of course it's not that simple. Plenty of amazing queer movies were produced in the past decades...they were just indie movies and thus difficult to find in a world prior to Netflix and Mubi and whatnot. But now we have streaming services, so allow me to share some of my favorites from the before times (specifically the 1990s).

Without further ado....here is an alphabetical list of queer movies from the 90s you may not have heard of (especially if you're under 30).

--

Beautiful Thing (1996) (dir. Hettie Macdonald)

Before there was Heartstopper, there was Beautiful Thing. It's a story about two gay teens, one sporty and one very much not sporty...and about how they deal with pressure to come out and pressure to hide who they are. It's a very sweet coming of age story, really. However, unlike Heartstopper, in Beautiful Thing the economic class of the protagonists plays an important role in the story (the characters all live on a counsel estate in London). The characters stories are nearly as much about them being working class as it is about the two main character being gay. It's one of the first movies I ever saw about gay teens, and I loved it. I still get a wistful smile every time I hear Mama Cass Elliot's "Make Your Own Kind of Music." (cw for parental abuse)

--

Edward II (1991) (dir. Derek Jarman)

The real Edward II was King of England for 20 years in the 14th century. At the end of the 16th century, Christopher Marlowe wrote a play about Edward's reign and eventual downfall. In 1991, Derek Jarman streamlined Marlowe's play and brought all the homosexual subtext between Edward and Gaveston way out front. In the film, Edward II is in prison and reflects on the events which have led him to that point. The trouble begins when Edward takes the throne and brings his exiled lover, Gaveston, back to England. All around them the rest of the aristocracy (including Edward's wife) conspire to bring Gaveston down. The movie itself is anachronistic (set in 1991), with minimal sets and costume, and staged a lot like a play. A lot of the dialogue is right out of Marlowe's play, though there are some changes to the story (notably at the end). It's honestly my favorite Derek Jarman movie, and frankly one of my favorite movies, full stop. (cw for blood, animal corpses, violent death)

--

Fire (1996) (dir. Deepa Mehta)

Fire is the first film in the Elements Trilogy written and directed by Deepa Mehta. Each film in the trilogy is about different characters in India, with the connection between the three being thematic rather than plot or character. Fire is about two Indian women, Radha and Sita, who form a bond through their struggles living within a traditional "joint-family" (i.e. a family where all extended family live together and all money and resources are shared). The women in this family have very little agency and this film explores how the two main characters navigate through it. The men in this film are also repressed by the social structure in which they live, and this film spends some time looking at that as well. It's a film about queer desire between women living under patriarchy. (All the movies on this list are available on streaming services in the US, except Fire. However, I was able to find it uploaded to a random YouTube channel) (cw for someone catching on fire, brief domestic violence (a slap), and non-consensual kissing)

--

Happy Together (1997) (dir. Wong Kar-wai)

In Happy Together, two men from Hong Kong travel to Argentina and eventually get stuck there when they run out of money and are unable to return home. The relationship between these two men is very tumultuous, with a lot of arguing and breaking up and getting back together. It's one of the first movies I saw in which queer folks have, just, regular ol' relationship drama - exasperated by the regular ol' struggles of life. (i cant remember if there are any content warnings i should put here; it's been a few years since i've seen it)

--

Lilies (1996) (dir. John Greyson)

Lilies is a Canadian film in which a prisoner requests a bishop come to the prison to hear the prisoner's last confession. It quickly becomes clear, however, that the prisoners have something else in mind when they begin staging a play. It turns out the bishop and prisoner knew each other as teens, and the play is about the events in their lives that led up to the prisoner being put on trial. So you end up with a play-within-a-play (or rather a play-within-a-movie). The film weaves between the production staged in the prison and the memory of the events in a really fluid way. All the prisoners portray their characters in the 'memory' sections, which lends itself to some really great moments in the prison sections. And at the heart of this memory/story is a queer love story. (cw for parental abuse, murder, fire, and suicide)

--

The Living End (1992) (dir. Gregg Araki)

This is a film about two young gay men who are diagnosed HIV positive. Unlike more mainstream films about HIV that came before (and after), The Living End wears its anger and pain on its sleeve. The entire world is entirely fucked up, and so these two men turn to a nihilistic outlook. The acting is just okay and some of the dialog is a bit ridiculous...but what draws me to rewatch this movie is the way that it conveys the emotion of the time. It's a ball of rage manifest on film. (cw for attempted suicide, rape, murder)

--

Love is the Devil (1998) (dir. John Maybury)

One of the problems with the average biopic is that it attempts to portray a person's entire life in a single movie. Thankfully, Love is the Devil doesn't have that problem; it focuses on only 8 years of Francis Bacon's life - the time he spent with a man named George Dyer. By this point, Bacon was already an extremely famous artist (and, at least in the film, a bit of an asshole). Bacon meets Dyer as Dyer attempts to burgle Bacon's studio - and thus begins an extremely dysfunctional love affair. If you want to see Derek Jacobi and Daniel Craig portray this dysfunctional relationship, then this is the movie for you. Also, if you want to see a biopic that lets the subject of the film be portrayed as a shitty person, this is a film for you. (cw for bdsm, drug use, untreated mental illness, and suicide)

--

Orlando (1992) (dir. Sally Potter)

From right out the gate, Orlando announces its queer themes by having Quentin Crisp portray Queen Elizabeth I, and Tilda Swinton portray Orlando (a man). From the first scenes it becomes clear that gender is going to be a main theme in the movie. Orlando is a young man who will never grow old and never die. He begins life in the 1500s, during Queen Elizabeth's reign, and we see him (and later, her) throughout the centuries between then and 'present' day (1992). The film is broken into thematic chunks (poetry, politics, society, etc). In each of these chunks we see Orlando's life as it reflects the social norms of the time (especially gender norms).

--

Swoon (1992) (dir. Tom Kalin)

Like Rope (1948) and Compulsion (1959), Swoon is a film about the Leopold and Loeb murder. Unlike the earlier films, Swoon makes the gay relationship between Leopold and Loeb explicit. Their relationship in the film is fairly uneven, with Loeb being characterized as more of an explicit manipulator. Leopold, on the other hand, is driven more by wanting to please Leob. Complicating this dynamic is the way that Leopold is the one more interested in their sexual relationship. Is Loeb exchanging sex for help with his criminal activities? Or is Leopold committing crimes in order to elicit sex from Loeb? Or both...something a bit more complicated than either/or? The film, especially the latter half, eschews and lampoons the sensationalism of the reporting of the crime from the time. (cw for murder, blood (in black and white), and animal corpses)

--

Honorable mention goes to more well-known movies I didn't put on this list, such as: But I'm a Cheerleader, Velvet Goldmine, Bound, Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert, The Birdcage, To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar, My Own Private Idaho, Bent...there are actually a whole lot of queer movies from the 1990s, now that I think about it.

[sharonate]

"I got very infatuated with Sharon Tate, just the person she was, as I was learning about her. So I thought it would both be touching and pleasurable and also sad and melancholy to just spend a little time with her, just existing. I didn’t come up with a big story and have her work into the story, so now she has to talk to other characters and move a story along. It was just a day in the life. It’s a day in the life of all three of them, that Saturday in February. A day in the life, driving around, running errands, doing this, doing that, and just being with her. I thought that could be special and meaningful. I wanted you to see Sharon a lot, see her living life. Not following some story, just see her living, see her being." — Quentin Tarantino.

Sharon Tate with her dog Prudence. Early August, 1969. 🎀

[strangeruponclouds]

I've got at least one character from every show I watch or game i play that I want them to break down in front of someone. full on ugly sob. screaming and crying type stuff.

[throuple-tournament]

Image of Arielle/Quentin/Eliot found by @locksleyofrobin.

Descriptions under the Keep Reading.

Description of provided by @sobqjmv.

Description provided by @thisisnotmynamefml.

[cocatgaming12]

Y’all he’s got a mini cape because why not? (College is over working me so I’m still not done with him. Watch him be done in June lol.)

[tonguetearer]

why am i hyperfixated on this twink he looks like nero

[hfourxor]

honestly my thoughts on guardian devil have changed a lot. this is kinda unorganized and isn't a formal essay but bare with me.

TLDR: i liked some parts but i felt like a lot of it was unnecessary shock value. it's enjoyable if you pretend it's an alternate universe and don't know about kevin smith's other works.

TW: a bunch of dark themes.

first i'll talk about the positives. i liked the darker interpretation of mysterio (except the pregnancy plotline.) i feel like it would have worked better if it was a different universe than 616 and i liked most of it if i just pretended it was an alternate universe. i also really liked the scene where he reveals himself and makes a dramatic entrance.

after learning more about kevin smith, i feel like he just writes things for shock value such as killing off karen and the entirety of "the evil that men do."

its out of character for mysterio to harm innocent people that he has no beef with. i heard he did in the 1610 universe but for the most part, mysterio only wants to ruin the lives of his enemies. even then, most of what he does is psychological torture. in one of the 70s comics, he creates the illusion of spider-man drowning without actually doing it.

the plotline of him inseminating a teenager and killing her parents is unnecessary. if it was another villain who is much more twisted, i would still be grossed out but it would make more sense.

i understand that mysterio was desperate because he was nearing death, but i don't understand why he went after daredevil instead of the current spider-man clone. it would make more sense if daredevil had done something to piss off mysterio.

[greensparty]

Remembering Tom Sizemore 1961-2023

After a rough week of grim news, Tom Sizemore has died at 61. He acted in over 250 films according to IMDB. But in the 90s he had an exceptionally good run working with some noteworthy directors and held his own opposite many heavyweights. Cops, mobsters, military officers, he was a staple of action movies. His personal life often overshadowed his performances, which is unfortunate.

I became aware of him because of his supporting roles in two films written by Quentin Tarantino: Tony Scott’s True Romance as Detective Cody Nicholson and Oliver Stone’s Natural Born Killers as Detective Jack Scagnetti. I was a bigger fan of True Romance as I felt Stone didn’t stick to what made QT’s NBK screenplay work, but even still, Sizemore held his own with both ensembles.

Sizemore in Saving Private Ryan

Sizemore worked frequently with Oliver Stone starting with a small part in Born on the Fourth of July; worked a lot with Kathryn Bigelow including Point Break and the highly underrated Strange Days; and turned in some great supporting work in Devil in a Blue Dress, Michael Mann’s Heat, Steven Spielberg’s Saving Private Ryan, Martin Scorsese’s Bringing Out the Dead, and Ridley Scott’s Black Hawk Down. On TV, he played himself in a 2010 episode of Entourage and he appeared in David Lynch’s 2017 Twin Peaks series.

The link above is the obit from Hollywood Reporter.

[animatedshortoftheday]

Children of the Corn (2021) [3 min] by Quentin Rubeck | France

[charliewrites99]

Me describing characters from Supernatural without ever watching it, based on what I could put together from random tumblr posts

Dean Winchester:

older brother

bi and the closet is glass

psycho-sexual relationship with his car

has a doctor kink

divorced married divorced married widowed by an angel

DADDY ISSUES

don't do this cas

was in hell at one point

shoulder hand print

red-blooded all american hunter manwhore

Sam Winchester:

younger brother

flannel

straight representation (except Gabriel I guess)

Third wheel

dropped out of uni

was engaged to a blond woman (RIP)

a literal walking death sentence to anyone who kisses him

party city wig

was possesed???

the one with common sense???

Castiel:

gay angel

world's saddest eyes

wet soggy orphan beagle

victim of the trench coat epidemic

powerful, but idk about where he lands on the scale

was brainwashed???

the daddy-est of issues (is his father god?)

YOU CHANGED ME DEAN

fish out of water

ditched heaven for the beauty of humanity (Dean's dick)

Jack Supernatural:

destiel child

may or may not be a new god

something celestial

floppy sad boi hair

Gabriel:

just here to have fun do drugs and flirt

trauma

Loki?

Sam's Man Crush Monday

had his lips sewn together at one point

is he dead-dead? or just dead to the writers?

Daddy Winchester:

did not know what he looked like until I went to google the pictures

the worst person to ever exist despite having god and the devil on this show

left the sons the trauma factory that is the family hunting business which killed their mom

doesn't know what hugging looks like probably

Various female-looking objects:

dead girlfriends

beards

that one redhead that called Dean a pussy for not knowing what fifth base is (she seems fun)

another redhead that played Poppy in The Magicians and almost killed Quentin (that I for some reason thought was from Doctor Who)

evil angel girlboss??

This was my contribution for this years November 5th celebration

[blueberrypancakesworld]

Kyle Gallner - Masterlist

Summary : All my works for this brilliant actor under the cut

Colin Gray

°Perv!Colin Gray ~ Headcanon

°Help in unexpected arms ->classmate!reader , fluff/comfort, injury, kiss

°The sweetness of the pomegranate is our love ->fem!reader, smutish, obsession, kissing

~~~~~~~~~~

Vince Schneider

°Sweetheart ->fem!reader, flirting, fluff

°Breakfast with a grumpy cloud ->fem!reader, fluff, kissing

~~~~~~~~~~

Quentin Smith

°Quentin Smith - In a relationship sfw

~~~~~~~~~~

James Heathridge

°Love the devil's painting ->fem!reader, kiss, darker themes, obsession

°The angel of his desires in chains ->wife!reader, smut, kidnapping, body whorship

~~~~~~~~~~

Jeremy Farrell

°Jeremy Farrell - Gif Pack

°Emo?It is love ->girlfriend!reader, hurt/comfort, kissing, cuddling

°Do you have a girlfriend ->girlfriend!reader, fluff, flirtish, kissing

~~~~~~~~~~

Cameron Coulter

°Shopping mall, feelings and foreboding ->fem!reader, fluff, mutual feelings

~~~~~~~~~~

Winston

°The soldier comes back -> fem!reader, fluff, comfort, ptsd (nightmares), emotional, kissing

°Surprise for my beloved ->fem!reader, fluff, comfort, kiss

~~~~~~~~~~

The Demon

°The Demon ~ NSFW Alphabet

°The art of consent and words ~ fem!reader, dom/sub, fluff, smutish

~~~~~~~~~~

Tappert

°Love in the military hospital ~ nurse!reader, angst, hurt/comfort, kissing, flirting

~~~~~~~~~~

[sharonate]

“𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯 ᴠᴀʟʟᴇʏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴏʟʟꜱ 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 ᴍᴀʟɪʙᴜ, 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘧𝘧 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘶𝘯. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘚𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘴 𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘱𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘧. ᴇʏᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴠɪʟ 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘱𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘧, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘐 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘪𝘧 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥’𝘷𝘦 𝘤𝘪𝘳𝘤𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘴.”

—ᴍᴀʀɢᴏᴛ ʀᴏʙʙɪᴇ, 𝘵𝘰 ꜰᴀʀ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴍᴀɢᴀᴢɪɴᴇ, 2021 🎀

[srslyblvck]

the devil you know, avengers

pairing: avengers x fem!reader, bucky x fem!reader

synopsis: the avengers seem really desperate as they come to you—the person who went under their skin like no one else to help them win against hydra. while they are walking on eggshells around you, you are having fun causing chaos.

warnings: mentions of y/n (maybe), blood, violence, gore

word count: 1.2k

chapter: 3/?

author's note: important!! so, would you guys like a platonic relationship with the avengers or a romantic? If romantic, bucky or tony would be nice and suitable. so, platonic or tony or bucky?

series masterlist

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ BACK AT THE AVENGERS compound, the post-mission debrief had been mercifully short. For once, you didn’t get a full Captain America lecture on “responsibility” and “teamwork.” Mostly because Steve seemed too busy trying to process how you had gone through that many Hydra agents and returned looking like you'd stepped off a battlefield from a Quentin Tarantino film.

Now, it was downtime—a rare moment when the team wasn’t trying to save the world. You were lounging on one of the compound's couches in the common room, legs kicked up, the power-suppressing cuffs still firmly locked around your wrists. Annoying, but you’d gotten used to them. For now, anyway.

Natasha and Clint were seated across from you, playing some kind of ridiculously intense game of cards, while Tony stood nearby with a glass of something dark and expensive, scrolling through his tablet. Bruce and Sam were in the kitchen, debating the finer points of post-mission recovery snacks, and Bucky, as usual, sat in the corner, watching you with silent suspicion.

“So,” you said, leaning back with a dramatic sigh. “Anyone going to acknowledge the fact that I saved the day back there, or are we just pretending like that didn’t happen?”

Clint didn’t even look up from his cards. “Yeah, I’ll pass on the standing ovation.”

“You know, I get that a lot,” you said, flashing him a grin. “People pretending they don’t appreciate me. It’s cute, really.”

Tony snorted from behind his tablet. “I think you’re confusing ‘appreciation’ with ‘barely tolerating.’ Common mistake.”

You sat up, stretching your arms out, the cuffs clinking softly with the movement. “Oh, come on, Stark. Don’t act like you weren’t impressed when I pulled that little vanishing trick earlier. Admit it, you thought I was gone for good.”

Tony raised an eyebrow, glancing at you over the rim of his glass. “Impressed? I was more focused on how Sam nearly had a heart attack when you popped up like a horror movie villain.”

Sam, hearing his name, poked his head out from the kitchen. “Yeah, don’t remind me. I don’t need that kind of stress in my life.”

You grinned. “What can I say? I’m good at making an entrance.”

“Or an exit,” Natasha muttered, throwing a card down. “You didn’t have to make that base look like a crime scene, you know.”

“I was being efficient,” you replied with mock offense, clutching your chest theatrically. “Besides, they were Hydra agents. No one’s shedding a tear for them.”

Bucky, sitting quietly with his arms crossed, finally spoke up. “Efficient? You looked like you went through a meat grinder.”

“Yeah, but it was a stylish meat grinder,” you shot back, giving him a wink. Bucky rolled his eyes but said nothing more.

Tony set his tablet down, walking over to where you were sprawled on the couch. “Okay, let’s talk about those cuffs,” he said, gesturing at your wrists. “How are you feeling? Any tingling? Loss of sensation?”

You waved your cuffed wrists in the air nonchalantly. “Feeling like I’ve been shackled for no good reason, Stark. Other than that, just peachy.”

Tony ignored the jab and tapped on his wrist as a holographic display flickered to life in front of him. “Good. Because those cuffs are tuned specifically to block your powers without cutting off circulation or, you know, frying your nervous system. Pretty cutting-edge stuff.”

“Cutting-edge? They’re glorified handcuffs, Tony,” you shot back, twirling your wrists. “And honestly, the fact that I’m still wearing them after all the fun I’ve had with you guys seems a little unfair.”

“Oh, don’t even start,” Clint muttered. “You got way too into that fight back at the base.”

“Yeah, well, maybe if you didn’t get winded so easily, I wouldn’t have had to,” you teased, leaning forward and throwing your feet off the couch. “Honestly, guys, it was like you wanted me to do all the heavy lifting.”

Natasha smirked at that, not looking up from her hand of cards. “You enjoy the heavy lifting.”

“Yeah, okay, true,” you admitted, tossing your hands up. “But you can’t blame me. It’s not my fault Hydra doesn’t know how to hire proper security.”

Tony walked over to the minibar, pouring himself another drink. “You say that now, but I’m the one who has to deal with the cleanup bill when you get a little too... enthusiastic.”

You leaned back again, propping your arms up on the couch. “Oh, come on, Tony. Think of it this way—it’s great for morale. I’m keeping you all sharp.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow. “By scaring the crap out of everyone?”

“Exactly!” you exclaimed, grinning wide. “Fear is a great motivator.”

Before anyone could respond, Sam emerged from the kitchen, holding a bowl of popcorn. “Can we talk about how you almost gave me an actual heart attack when you showed up on the quinjet covered in blood?” He looked at you with mock indignation. “I’ve had a long week.”

You gave him an innocent look. “I didn’t think you’d scare so easily, Wilson. You know, with all your fancy flying and all.”

Sam just rolled his eyes, plopping down next to you on the couch and shoving the popcorn bowl in your direction. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. Next time, you’re sitting in the back with Clint.”

Clint’s head snapped up. “Hey, leave me out of this.”

You chuckled, grabbing a handful of popcorn and tossing a piece into your mouth. “You guys are too sensitive. You act like I’m the wild card or something.”

“Because you are the wild card,” Tony replied dryly, swirling his drink. “That’s literally your job here.”

You grinned wider, kicking your feet back up onto the coffee table. “I prefer to think of myself as... spontaneous.”

“More like a walking disaster,” Clint muttered under his breath.

“Hey, disaster with flair,” you corrected, pointing a finger at him. “Big difference.”

Steve walked in just then, giving everyone a once-over, his expression softening when he saw you lounging comfortably in the middle of the chaos. “Everyone getting along?”

You flashed him a playful grin. “As well as can be expected, Cap. We were just talking about how I saved the day—again.”

Steve crossed his arms, clearly unimpressed. “Is that what we’re calling it now?”

You shrugged. “I’m just saying, Hydra didn’t stand a chance. Honestly, I made it too easy for you guys.”

Bucky scoffed. “You’re lucky we didn’t leave you behind.”

You smirked, raising your cuffed wrists again. “Oh, please. We all know I’m the life of the party.”

Before Steve could respond, Tony clapped his hands together, clearly ready to move on. “Alright, alright. Enough banter. Let’s talk about something important. Dinner plans.”

You perked up. “Oh, now we’re talking. Chinese, like I said. But not that Panda Express garbage. I know a place.”

“Yeah, yeah, you and your fancy hole-in-the-wall joints,” Tony said, rolling his eyes but clearly intrigued. “Alright, fine. I’m in.”

Natasha laid her cards down, looking up with a glint of amusement in her eyes. “As long as it’s not one of those places where the menu’s in another language and no one speaks English.”

You shrugged, leaning back with a mischievous smile. “Where’s the fun in that?”

The room filled with easy laughter, and for once, you could almost forget the tension that usually came with being around the Avengers. Almost.

Even with the cuffs on, even with their eyes still watching you like you were a ticking time bomb, you had to admit—you kind of liked being here.

Not that you’d ever tell them that.

[absolutehomosexuals]

Tag yourself / your ex as de-idealized bg3 men: lore accurate edition

(implied female reader)

Gale of Waterdeep

☆ "My ex was crazy!!"

Accidentally calls you her name on multiple occasions.

☆ Runs on mansplaining and patronizing quips alone

☆ The medieval equivalent of a Quentin Tarantino fan

☆ "Oh yeah? Name five tavern songs."

☆ Due to some odd twist of nature, being on good terms with his mother didn't stop him from developing mommy issues

☆ His favourite book sold three copies total across the Material Plane

☆ Broke up with you over carrier pidgeon

(10k words and counting)

The Cambion Raphael

♤ Swears on his honour he's not gay

Doesn't have a honour

�� Jokes about clone-fucking way too often for your friends', your family's and anyone's liking

♤ Has a scary amount of child trafficking allegations

♤ Professional pillow princess

♤ A deadly cocktail of erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation

♤ "Let them eat bread"

♤ All of his jewlery is a product of child labour

The Strap of Frontiers

◇ Vowed to save his virginity for marriage

◇ Idealizes you to an unrealistically toxic degree

◇ Introduces you to his family after the second date

◇ He's not rich, he's "comfortable"

Proceeds to be the son of an archduke

◇ Sports the biggest martyr complex his therapist has ever witnessed

◇ His sugar mommy is part of the package

◇ Gambled with the literal devil (and lost)

Lord Enver Gortash

♧ Thinks of perfume as a substitute for deodorant

♧ Bathes once per fortnight

♧ The coat stays on during sex

While he'll gaslight you with a hundred different justifications, it merely buys him a few seconds before the inevitable

♧ Has never told truth once. Mfer even gave you a fake last name.

♧ His sidepiece has homicidal tendencies, so you'll basically live in terror

♧ Hunts orphans for sport

♧ Occasionally throws in a dehumanizing, downright terrifyingly classist phrase or two. Just to keep the conversation flowing.