#queer people asking what’s ‘wrong’ with them

[aughtpunk]

That Time a Published Author Told Me to Un-Queer My Novel

So, I don't think I ever shared this story on Tumblr before.

As you may know I've spent the past ten years turning my old Welcome to Night Vale fanfic into a stand alone novel called Echo of the Larkspur. Now, I haven't been working on it ten years straight. I'd pick it up, do a bunch of editing and rewriting, submit it to agents/publishers, get turned down, put the book away, wait 2-3 years, dust off the book, re-edit and rewrite, etc etc. A cycle that repeated itself far too many times that I would like.

Well, during one of these cycles when I was in the 'get rejected by every agent and publisher I submit to' stage I asked the writing group I was in what I was doing wrong. Because at this point I had reached a hundred total rejections and I was starting to suspect that the issue was with me.

One of the members of this writing group, a male author who was traditionally published, offered to read my first chapter and give his advice on how to fix it. This was, in retrospect, a mistake. But I was desperate. I sent him the first chapter and waited for his response.

Folks. The email he sent me changed my life.

First he said that agents wouldn't publish my novel because it was Sci-fi with hardcore gay erotica in it. This is curious because while the book certainly is queer, at no point in the conversation with this man did I say it was hardcore erotica. Nor did the first chapter feature any. It's almost as if he assumed that just because something was gay, it had to be hardcore erotica. Interesting.

He went on to say that a Human/Robot pairing was weird and that there was "No Way" my story could seriously address the issues of a relationship like that. Once again, he only read the first chapter. He just...assumed I wouldn't think of that? And that my book wouldn't cover it?

The author then said “I also felt that the LGBTQ inclusion really seems to cloud things.” Direct Quote.

And then this is when he said my favorite quote of them all:

The idea of a book being a sci-fi with romance AND a mystery is a Modern Art Marzipan Owl. It's just too confusing! No one can handle a story that is a mystery in a sci-fi enviroment AND has a romantic subplot! THEIR BRAINS WOULD LITERALLY EXPLODE!

Thankfully he had a solution to my book problem. His answer? Turn the book into an Action Spy Thriller and turn S.A.G.E., a robot that identies as a gay man, into a sexy lady robot who needs a MAN to teach her what it means to be human.

(I assume the male lead will teach the 'confused' female robot how to be human via his penis.)

Now my favorite part about this advice is that at no point did he outright say "Remove the gay part". No, instead he sneakily changed the robot love interest into a female robot as if I wouldn't notice. Just sort of swept away the gay bits as something totally unneeded and just mucking up the narrative. Also that's not the plot of my story, I have no idea where this virus thing came from.

(Also note that the female robot can't be robotic-like at all. Must preserve the average straight-man sex drive at all costs I guess)

He then finished his email basically saying that I should remove everything that 'traditional publishers' don't like (aka the queer parts) and make it easier for 'your average reader' to digest and my book will be good as published!

When I said this email changed my life I meant it. Because it made me realize I'd rather be self published and unknown than traditionally publish milquetoast trash like he suggested. Like holy fuck. If I removed all of the "Difficult" to digest stories out of Echo of the Larkspur then there wouldn't be a book left!

So here I am. Self publishing my Marzipan Modern Art Owl of a book. I know it'll never see the inside of a bookstore or top the charts on Goodreads but hey, I'd rather it speak to one person than have a thousand people get excited for the part where the male lead teaches the lady robot how to be human (via his penis).

If a Queer Sci-fi/Romance/Mystery novel sounds like your jam then consider preordering it!

Looking for something to read now? Can't afford the book? Willing to read in exchange for an honest review? You can join my ARC book readers here!

[crushpunky]

drew and actress!reader attend tudum

masterlist | actress!reader masterlist

enjoy this requested fic <3

Bulbs flashed brightly as y/n stepped a high heeled foot onto Netflix’s red carpet. The attention of the crowd shifted to her, everybody’s eyes falling on her black minidress and dazzling, camera ready smile. From the opposite end of the carpet, an exceptionally loud holler caused y/n’s head to turn, her gaze locking with the familiar blue eyes of the holler’s source.

“There she is.” Drew murmured, his voice inaudible over the crowd, but y/n could tell exactly what was going through his mind. Y/n felt her cheeks warm as Drew’s eyes raked over her, a cheesy grin spreading across his lips as he noticed the details of her outfit. Y/n winked at him before returning her gaze back to the crowd of onlookers, their hands full of cameras and microphones and their voices all clamoring for her attention.

“Y/n!” An excited reporter waved at her, a wide smile on her face. “Do you have a minute for an interview?”

Y/n smiled back at the reporter before stepping to the side of the carpet to greet her. The fans crowding the barricade around her screamed excitedly, y/n letting out a chuckle as she waved at them before standing in front of the reporter and her camera.

“Y/n, it’s so good to see you here back with Netflix!” The reporter smiled.

“It’s so great to be back here with everyone.” Y/n nodded, gesturing to the Netflix stars that lined the red carpet.

“You look absolutely amazing— of course— could you tell us a bit about your look?” The reporter asked.

“Aww thank you.” Y/n cooed, laughing bashfully as she glanced down at her outfit. “Well,  I wanted to keep it nice and simple. You can’t go wrong with a little black dress, of course.”

“Oh, of course.” The reporter agreed, her attention catching on a ribbon of familiar fabric adorning y/n’s hair, the same fabric tied into a bow on the back of y/n’s dress and on her heel. “I love the little bow details… the pattern looks a little familiar to somebody’s suit.”

Y/n felt her cheeks warm, letting out a little giggle as she glanced over her shoulder towards where Drew posed on the carpet, the gray plaid of his suit the exact pattern of y/n’s bows. She had wanted to surprise him, so she coordinated with his stylist to get some excess fabric to use in her own outfit. Judging by the smile on his face when he saw her, he most definitely noticed.

“Haha, yeah.” Y/n grinned. “I thought it’d be fun to coordinate.”

“Well you guys both look stunning.” The reporter grinned. “But I have to ask about the reason you’re here today: Knives Out. What can you tell us about that?”

“Oh jeez, I’m not sure what all I can say, you know?” Y/n laughed. “I mean it’s a mystery with lots of questions and twists— the classic Knives Out elements— but it also is something so different and unlike anything else we’ve seen before.”

“That sounds so, so exciting.” The reporter said. “Now, as I’m sure you know, you’re not the first Outer Banks alum in the Knives Out franchise. Your costar Madelyn Cline was in the previous installment, did you two talk at all when you found out you’d be joining the world of Knives Out?”

“Oh yeah.” Y/n nodded. “Right after I found out I got the part I immediately called up Madelyn and she was so excited… she might’ve been more excited than me.”

“Aww, that’s so sweet.” The reporter said. “How was it working with this absolutely star studded cast?”

“A-ma-zing.” Y/n said dramatically, a wide smile on her face. “It was so surreal to get to act with these people who are the absolute best of the best when it comes to their craft.”

“I can only imagine.” The reporter said. “There were so many new amazing faces, to the franchise but we have to talk about the Daniel Craig. I mean you’d met him before when your husband, Drew, had worked with him previously in ‘Queer’, but it has to be so different actually acting next to a legend, right?”

“Oh, it was amazing getting to work with Daniel.” Y/n said. “I met him about two years ago when I went to visit Drew on the set of ‘Queer’ and—”

Y/n was interrupted as the crowd exploded into loud cheers and excited screams.

“You talking about me?” A voice whispered behind y/n, causing her to jump before turning around to see Drew’s grinning face. Y/n immediately relaxed, her eyes rolling playfully. Drew chuckled, resting his head atop hers as he squeezed her in a hug before pulling away, but keeping his hand draped around her waist.

“All good things, I promise.” Y/n grinned up at Drew as he smiled back at her.

“Well, Drew, this is just perfect timing because I was just about to ask y/n about the next season of Outer Banks.” The reporter said. “How are you guys feeling about this being the last season? Sad? Excited?”

“A mix.” Drew said. “This has been such a huge part of my life— of all of our lives— I mean, I grew up on this show, I got married on this show, so it’s definitely bittersweet.”

“I agree.” Y/n nodded. “I’m so excited to see what they do for this conclusion but I’m definitely gonna miss it.”

“So, with this being the finale, I think everyone is wondering if Caroline will be making an appearance in this last season.” The reporter asked, mentioning y/n’s character from the show. After leaving at the end of season three, fans had been clamoring for more of the romance between Rafe and Caroline that had been cut short far too soon.

Y/n laughed, Drew turning to look at y/n with an inquisitive quirk of his brow.

“I don’t know, I guess fans will just have to tune in and find out.” Y/n said coyly, shrugging her shoulders. Drew let out a playful and dramatic groan, which caused y/n to giggle.

“Well, y/n and Drew, it was so nice to talk with you guys and we can’t wait to see Wake Up Dead Man and the final season of Outer Banks!” The reporter said gleefully.

“Thank you for having us!” Y/n said, waving to the camera, Drew joining in before planting a quick kiss on her cheek and leading her away with his hand around her waist. Drew leaned down to whisper something in y/n’s ear that caused her to laugh, the two of them continuing down the red carpet side by side.

taglist: @ladyatwalmart @lilfreakjez @starkeyslutzz @maiya-16 @wolfcin04 @rana030

[hybbart]

I'm so glad you're talking about Skizz's fumble (to put it lightly) as well; I know that some artists feel reluctant to acknowledge it because they have met/interacted with the Hermits, so for an artist I follow and look up to to be making their fans aware is relieving to see

I've seen a lot of fans say that it's not that big of a deal, and that makes me feel like I'm overreacting for feeling hurt, so to see that other people are taking it seriously helps

Thank you, and peace be with you

This is going to be the last ask I answer about this situation. After this I'm not talking about it again.

First of all, please don't look up to me I'm just a mess. Second, I don't begrudge any fanartist for not talking about something regardless of their reason. Fandom isn't a job and theyre not professionals, they're here to have fun like everyone else and no matter how popular they aren't any more or less responsible for a fandom than anyone else.

To some people it isn't a big deal, and what he said makes up for it, or don't directly interact with his mods and so only care that he himself is not a bigot. Obviously, I disagree, mostly because I think he's hypocritical and unearthed a completely different issue unrelated to what he's said.

I should say, I do not think Skizz himself is a bigot or transphobic, I believe him when he says he supports queer people. I think if he didn't you would be very much aware. And I don't think he's irredeemable because of this fumble. I think he needs to fire certain people and better understand what his words mean. He made a lot of people not feel safe and aware of who he pays to watch them, and that's not something you can put back in the box with just words.

I'm not surprised it was Skizz because Skizz does not have the filter or public figure mindset the others have developed over years of streaming, and he's only just gotten big enough for a fumble like this to get attention. My main concern now is that he will walk away thinking it was simply a problem of using the wrong word. It just happened so I'm willing to give him time to have the chance to fix his mistake.

Beyond that, though, I just do not like controversial creators. I do not have that sort of parasocial relationship even with youtubers I directly work with and am friends with. There's millions of creators out there I do not need to watch this one who I am now not going to be able to watch without remembering this.

I guess my point is, this is my reaction and how I'm choosing to deal with it. I'm not demanding anyone agree with me or think it's a fair response, how other people feel about it is their business. I only ask that they honestly think about why they feel the way they do. Some people might feel it's not an audience's place to push creators into being different, and that that's parasocial and righteous in its own way. Maybe it is. I just don't have time and energy to waste on creators that I'm not enjoying my time with, and making me question the safety of people I care about is a quick way to make me feel like it isn't worth it to guess.

[nqueso-lies]

https://www.tumblr.com/nqueso-lies/785573560829788160/httpswwwtumblrcomnqueso-lies7855488332476252?source=share

haha hi anon from this ask back who just wants to say to the other anons in your inbox who have talked about labels and coming out: hi, i love you, you don't have to pick a label no matter what anyone tries to tell you. and if u do pick a label, there's never anything wrong with realizing down the road that it's wrong (no matter what literally anyone tells you because god knows people get angry nowadays over that kind of thing, no matter what the new label is: just block em and move on)

and like i said in the admittedly (... rightfully, imo) angrier ask, you never have to come out if you don't want to or aren't ready to, and especially if you don't feel safe to. your wellbeing and safety is number 1. no one knows your life and experiences and situation but you, and coming out should be a celebrated choice--staying in the closet because you think it won't be is entirely valid. stay safe, the world needs you. and i think some people forget that being able to come out safely is a privilege that not everyone has (no offense to them, but... especially the younger queers who are fully unaware of how hard everything used to be. the 911 josh glee speech was directly targeted at them imo, cringe as it may have been for referencing glee (<- i like the cringe of glee so i feel safe to say that lmao), because they need to know how much the community has changed over the past few decades alone. if there is a younger queer reading this: please learn your history, it's kinda obvious when you don't know anything at all).

anyway, all this to say: happy pride to you, queso!!! and happy pride to those anons!!! whether you have a label or not, you'll always be welcome at my table as long as you're polite! pride isn't about gatekeeping, it's about celebrating queer joy and the fact we're still here and we're always going to be here.

❤️❤️❤️

[youruinedmylifebynotbeingreal]

Lesbian Regina George that, pan Karen Shetty that. But what about queer Gretchen Wieners. “What’s Wrong With Me” is RIGHT THERE.

[losermothman]

I don’t think you guys UNDERTSNAD how important Edwin and Charles’ relationship is to me as an aroace person. THAT is what I want from a relationship. Something such an obvious mix of romantic and platonic and I-don’t-even-know that all the lines blur bc the only important thing is that you love them like you’ve loved nothing else and are so devoted that you would do nothing else but love and protect and cherish them for all your worth. isn’t it the love that matters more than what type of love it is? why do their labels need to be so cut and dry? why does it need to be anything more? why can’t they just be? why can’t they love each other how they want to love each other? why do they need to be anything else?

[uncle-fruity]

If I had $10 for every time, upon meeting me, someone got so immediately confused by my gender that they quickly correct their first guess before I even had a chance to say hello, I'd be able to pay my rent.

[ryanthedemiboy]

Anyone who doesn't get it yet, let me quote page 9 from the Project 2025 Mandate for Leadership (bolding mine):

The next conservative President must end the Left’s social experimentation with the military, restore warfighting as its sole mission, and set defeating the threat of the Chinese Communist Party as its highest priority.

They plan to start a war with China.

Vote Biden so we don't fucking invade China.

in louisiana back in the 90's there was an election for governor. the democrat running was edwin edwards, who was absolutely wildly notoriously corrupt and extremely open about it and had been for his entire career. the republican was david duke, an actual former grand wizard of the klu klux klan.

i cannot emphasize enough how much absolutely nobody liked or trusted edwin edwards. absolutely nobody actively wanted him to be governor. he won the election anyway, because people were voting against duke, not for edwards. about five years after edwards' term ended he was convicted of racketeering and spent the next eight years in federal prison. nobody was surprised. everyone had known this was going to happen before they elected him.

my parents are republicans, and i disagree with them about nearly everything about politics and have for as long as i can remember, literally since i was old enough to have political opinions at all, and this is a big strain on our relationship. but they both voted for edwards with no hesitation, despite hating him and knowing he would be a bad governor, because they knew it was important to. i am proud and grateful that they did this. deciding to vote for a candidate you like is, or at least should be, easy. casting a vote for someone you hate, whom you know will do things you hate, because nevertheless that vote will bring about the least bad possible outcome for the world your children grow up in, that's hard. and if a lot of people had not done the hard thing my own childhood would have been much worse for it.

anyway when somebody says they think you shouldn't vote for the lesser evil, what i hear is "i would not have used my vote to make sure you didn't grow up in a state governed by the klu klux klan," and i do have a problem with that

[gillyeowalters]

Because it is the anniversary of his death, I wanted to share a small story about my grandfather.

Before I knew that I was intersex, I identified as a trans man. And I went the way any trans man has to go if he wants to transition in my country. My parents thankfully were supportive but I was afraid to tell my grandparents. My grandparents were German and lived/were raised during the third reich. While both of them never said or acted in a way that suggested that they had fascist views (my grandfather was until he died part of a leftwing political party), but there still was this fear in me. "They are old, they grew up surrounded by abhorrent beliefs...". And then there was my aunt. Who would constantly claim that my grandfather was homophobic.

The problem was, back then, there were no openly out gay people in our area, so I never got the chance to see my grandfather interact with someone who was queer. So I just believed her. Because she was so insistent on it. And because it confirmed my fears and my brain loves to be constantly afraid.

But I knew I wanted to come out. I had to, eventually, because I had stopped my estrogen treatment (back then, I did not know that I got that because I was intersex) and went on testosterone instead and first physical changes began to show. We all lived in one big house, so my grandparents would eventually notice.

I was so afraid that my father at some point offered to talk to his parents. I waited outside in the hallway that led to their kitchen and listened.

My father explained, easy to understand, that I was going to transition from female to male because I felt terrible in my body. My grandfather asked, "Is that why the child* is so depressed all this time?" I had been in and out of multiple clinics for manic depression at that point. My father gave a yes. And my grandmother made the incredibly selfish comment, "Can't that wait until I am dead?"

Before I even got time to be upset, my grandfather slammed his fist down on the table. I had never seen or heard him do anything like that before. He was a very calm and collected man who preferred to leave the room before he got too angry. "No, it can't wait. The child gets to get well now. And if that is what is going to help, then it needs to be done."

From that day on, he never used my deadname again or used the wrong pronouns for me. Sometimes, he would stop in a sentence to think and remind himself, but he did always address me correctly.

He celebrated with me when my name was legally changed. He built the bed frame for me and my boyfriend's bed when we moved in together, just like he had built the first adult sized bedframe for me when I outgrew my small bed. He drove my boyfriend to his chemo sessions because my grandfather also had cancer and knew how terrifying it was to go alone.

Did he fully understand what it means to be intersex? To transition? No. But he understood that one of his loved ones was suffering and that he could help to alleviate that pain. And so he did.

He taught me calligraphy. He taught me how to sew. He taught me bookbinding. He gave me many gifts.

But the biggest gift he gave me was, that when someone hated me for what I am, I could stomach it. Because this man was willing to unlearn the bigotry he had been taught for decades so he could love me for who I am.

*in my grandpa's dialect it was normal to refer to children as just 'the child' (genderless)

EDIT

I was blown away by how many people have reblogged this post. I believe my grandfather would be very happy to see that he can give some hope and love to others even now.

I do not want him to stay faceless; so here is a piece of art I made for his obituary, with a slightly altered quote added now.

Dahlias were his favorite flowers. Orange ones especially. They reminded him of the home he had to flee from as a child.

EDIT 28/03/25

Happy birthday.

[grouperhq]

.

[elvis-official]

FAQ:

Q: Woah mama (or any variation herein)

A: Yeah

Q: Why is this so long? Add a read more!

A: Then people won't read it

Q: Do people really read the FAQ?

A: I hope so!

Q: What are your pronouns?

A: He/him for Elvis, she/he for the mod

Q: Why do you say "Woah mama" so much?

A: Woah mama they put me in the orb / the scary planet. And Johnny Bravo

Q: Where have you been?

A: Lost in the mojave desert

Q: What about the island?

A: No, it was the desert

Q: What about Mars?

A: No, it was the desert

Q: I thought you died?

A: I got better

Q: Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for nuclear winter

A: Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for nuclear winter

Q: Say trans rights!

A: Trans rights!

Q: What about Woah papa?

A: Woah mama is not a term of address

Q: Do you support X queer group?

A: Hell yeah!

Q: Hi Elvis!

A: Hi random citizen!

Q: How do you feel about the Kings of Freeside

A: I love those guys

Q: How do you feel about the people who played you in the movies?

A: They aren't the real King, hummina hummina hummina

Q: What was it like in the orb?

A: Bad

Q: How did you get in the orb?

A: Stop asking about the orb

Q: My grandparent / other person loves your music!

A: Good for them!

Q: *Literally anything about Bubba Ho-Tep*

A: I'm aware

Q: *Literally anything relating to the sandwich*

A: Elvis only eats lizards and beetles

Q: What about water?

A: Just lizards and beetles

Q: You ate the beatles???

A: Just Paul. And he got better

Q: What's your favorite lizard and or beetle to eat?

A: Ladybugs

Q: Lizards and beetles sandwich?

A: No

Q: How do you prepare the lizards and beetles?

A: I eat them raw. No other preparation. Just lizards and beetles

Q: McLennon?

A: Yeah why not

Q: *That one image of Elvis recieving a message from Charles Xavier*

A: Yes, it's real, stop sending me it

Q: Do you like My Chemical Romance?

A: Yes, I've said it like five times now

Q: Do you like-

A: The musicians I've commented on are as follows: Hatsune Miku, Tally Hall, Chonny Jash, Johnny Cash, MCR, Weezer, Will Wood (And the Tapeworms), Chappell Roan, Jhariah, Lemon Demon, Eminem, Jay, Eazy, Epic the musical, and probably a few others

Q: Have you heard of All Shook Up?

A: Yeah

Q: Wait there's a comma between Jay and Eazy

A: Oh whoops my bad I should probably fix that

Q: What are your thoughts on "Elvis is Everywhere"?

A: I am everywhere

Q: Woah mamaaaaaaaa ooooooo-oooooo-ooooo ooooo

A: I didn't mean to make you cry, if I'm not back again this time tomorrow, carry on, carry on, as if nothing even matters

Q: Do you ship Phan?

A: No but seriously imagine it

Q: Here's a picture of my pet!

A: Adorable!

Q: Where were you on 9/11/2001

A: The Mojave Desert. Please stop sending asks about 9/11

Q: I've started saying "Woah mama" as a stim

A: That's what it is to Elvis as well

Q: Is "Woah Mama" a vocal stim?

A: Read the above answer

Q: I'm starting hormones soon, any advice?

A: Don't be nervous, you got this, I believe in you

Q: Johnny Bravo!

A: Who do you think I've been impersonating this whole time

Q: Greaseball the Deasel

A: Shut up

Q: You misspelled Diesel

A: Fuck

Q: What are your thoughts on Vriska Homestuck?

A: She did nothing wrong

Q: What is your classpect?

A: King of Rock

Q: Cats or dogs?

A: Hound dogs, crying all the time

Q: What would your fursona be?

A: Nothing but a hound dog

Q: What is your fursona?

A: Didn't I answer this already?

Q: If you had a fursona what would it be?

A: Are you even reading this?

Q: *Luminous Mama post*

A: Been there, done that

Q: Hey I got this ad about you

A: I've seen it

Q: What's your favourite Pokémon?

A: Kingambit (Mod's is H. Zoroark)

Q: What's your favourite movie?

A: Aladdin 2: Return of Jeff R

Q: Is the Elvis Special (a bullet) just a bullet?

A: No it shoots out of a gun

Q: Are you woke?

A: Yeah

Q: Can you be the next pope?

A: Yeah

Q: *Forcefemmes you*

A: A photo of a suprised Elvira

Q: Can you forcefemme me?

A: No

Q: Can you forceelvis me?

A: No

Q: What're your thoughts on Mothman?

A: A good friend of mine

Q: What fires the Elvis Special (a bullet)

A: A gun

Q: *Anything relating to Michael Jackson*

A: Woah mama you are banging my daughter

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

A: 12. 12 woods

Q: What are your thoughts on Lilo and Stitch?

A: Amazing movie (the remake isn't real)

Q: *Tagging you in the Fool's Gold Loaf post*

A: How about I block you right now?

Q: What's the plural of Elvis?

A: Elvii

Q: What are your thoughts on Minecraft?

A: What's minecraft

Q:

A: Woah mama that's the 「 WONDER OF U」

Q: Elvis is an anagram for Evils

A: It's also an anagram for Silver

Q: No it's not?

A: Yeah it is

Q:

A:

Q: What's the deal with this blank space?

A: It's a question that's been frequently asked– " "

Q: Pricilla was 14

A: I know, that was fucked up, I don't support pedophilia, this is a silly gimmick blog

Q: Erm actually marrying a 14 year old doesn't make you a pedophile

A: Die in a hole

Q: You just mispelled Priscilla

A: Oh god damn it

Q: Elvis was racist and stole black music

A: I know. I don't support that. Just because I'm impersonating a famous dead guy doesn't mean I support everything he's ever done

Q: Elvis was a bad person and therefore so are you

A: Do you also get mad at actors for playing a character?

Q: *Transphobic nonsense*

A: Die in a hole

Q: Can I make an AI chatbot of you?

A: Die in a hole

Q: Make the FAQ longer

A: Okay

Q: You were on PM Seymour / Pinterest / Instagram / Tiktok

A: I saw!

Q: I love you / I love this blog!

A: Thank you so much!! I love recieving these love messages but I can't really answer them all. Your praise was received, I promise

Q: Anon hate

A: Ouch

Q: Anon love

A: :)

Q: Where did the FAQ go?

A: Right damn here

I read every question I'm sent and I wish I could answer them all but I can't, sadly

If I didn't answer your ask don't send it again

Don't tag me in note games or note goal posts or anything like that

These anons and this person's dog get to be here because they asked nicely:

Q: Can I be on the FAQ?

A: Sorry, no...

ELVIS TAGGING SYSTEM:

#Woah Mama: Any Elvis post

#Mod post: Posts from the spider lady

#Elvis answers: Asks

#Elvis argues: Arguing with TERFs and other bigots

Now look at this post because I really really like it

Look at this!

Go check out the other Elvisverse blogs!

First List

Second List

Third List

Woah mama

[styrofauxm]

Honestly, I am pretty frustrated by the "haha why would anyone hate ace people" responses to Rowling's tweet.

Don't get me wrong, the support is nice. But if you want to be an ally, you have to do so on our terms, not yours. And that means actually engaging with the aspec community, not just posting positivity every now and again. And what those responses highlight to me is what I've known for a while; you guys only support aspec people when it's easy and convenient.

It's easy to support aspec people when it's J.K. Rowling being awful again. It's easy to support us when it's just reblogging an "aspec people are queer" post.

But what about when we are talking about amatonormativity and the relationship hierarchy? When we are discussing the enforcement of compulsory sexuality? When we are pushing for greater awareness and support for aspec identities that are not asexuality or aromanticism? When we are criticizing terminology that you use but harms us? Because I can tell you right now, I rarely see allo people engage with those posts.

Why do people hate asexuality (or any other aspec identity)? Because it challenges the societal norms that benefit them. And that is uncomfortable and scary. So they turn to hate and oppression in order to assure that the changes we push by just openly existing never happen.

That means that to be a good aspec ally, you can't just make a positivity post every now and again, and you can't just laugh about how stupid aphobes are. You have to openly challenge the societal norms that harm us, even if they benefit you. Including but not limited to:

The idea that romantic and sexual attraction is the default state of being (amatonormativity)

The idea that a romantic, sexual relationship completes a person

People in marriages receiving special privileges and benefits

The idea that platonic, familial, etc. attraction are default states of being

The idea that not feeling some form of attraction must be compensated for through another form of attraction

The idea that love (not just romantic) is inherently morally good, while not feeling love is inherently a moral failing

The idea that any one form of relationship is inherently more important or deeper than any other (relationship hierarchy)

The idea that any one thing makes someone human

The idea that not having sex is shameful or infantile

The idea that having sex without romantic love is callous

Gendered divides of sexual and romantic attraction

Other aspec people please feel free to add on/challenge any of this. Allo (not aspec) people please feel free to ask questions.

Additions:

Addition from @blkaroculture

Addition (in tags) from @fluffytimearts

Addition (in tags) from @cjreblogsthings

I've placed some resources for learning more about these topics under the cut.

Amatonormativity:

[PT: Amatonormativity:]

1. Amatonormativity Coining

2. Introduction to Amatonormativity

3. Challenging Amatonormativity

4. Effects of Amatonormativity and Compulsive Sexuality on Asexual and Aromantic College Students

5. Effects of Amatonormativity On Black, Polyamorous Men

6. Essay on Amatonormativity From a Aroallo, Loveless Perspective

Marriage Benefits:

[PT: Marriage Benefits:]

1. Article about Singlism and Marital Privilege

Other Aspec Identities:

[PT: Other Aspec Identities:]

1. Aplatonicism

2. Afamilialism

Loveless:

[PT: Loveless:]

1. Loveless articles on the AUREA website

2. Essay on Amatonormativity From a Aroallo, Loveless Perspective (repeat from Amatonormativity section)

3. Follow-up Essay on Lovelessness and Aroallo Antagonism

4. Results of a Survey of Loveless People (part 2 is linked instead of part 1 as part 1 is mostly demographic information)

5. Guide to Writing Loveless Characters (it focuses on fictional characters so should not be taken as a catch-all for real people, but it still has a ton of good information about lovelessness and loveless antagonism)

Compulsory Sexuality:

[PT: Compulsory Sexuality:]

1. Effects of Amatonormativity and Compulsive Sexuality on Asexual and Aromantic College Students (repeat from Amatonormativity section)

2. Breakdown of Compulsory Sexuality

Relationship Hierarchy vs Relationship Anarchy:

[PT: Relationship Hierarchy vs Relationship Anarchy:]

1. Relationship Anarchy Coining

2. Breakdown of Relationship Anarchy

3. Issues Presented by the Relationship Hierarchy

Oppression:

[PT: Oppression:]

1. Aphobia Masterpost

2. Asexual History and Oppression

3. Asexual Theory 101

Miscellaneous:

[PT: Miscellaneous:]

1. Research on Aromantics

2. Ace in the UK Research and Activism ft. Yasmin Benoit

3. Asexual History and Oppression (repeat from Oppression section)

4. Asexual Theory 101 (repeat from Oppression section)

Books and Video Essays:

[PT: Books and Video Essays:]

An Ace Discourse Retrospective by Jenny Geist

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen

Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J. Brown

[hot-patootiee]

Another story of people not knowing Steve is bisexual.

Since he asked Eddie to be his boyfriend at a party game night, Eddie took it as a joke and accepted. He made a grand ordeal of it too, jumping on the table and dramatic gestures.

He even declared his true love shall catch him and fell off the table and fell off into Steve who struggled, but did manage to catch him. If Steve fell on the floor doing it, it’s nobody’s business.

Steve is like “omg my first boyfriend!” And since Robin was there, he assumes she knows.

Little does poor Steve know, everyone thought he was joking. Except El because she’s El and Will.

El and Will are both bewildered as to why the boys weren’t being nosy like they expected them too. But, they don’t figure out that nobody else knows either because everyone else is like “Yea, Steve and Eddie are totally Dating”.

El and Will begin to pester Steve because they love him and he’s the first queer relationship they’ve seen. It’s not like anyone else will tell them anything.

Steve absolutely regales them with every date (which Eddie thought were just hang outs) and what a great choice it was to ask Eddie out.

Steve and Eddie get high together one night and Eddie looks so relaxed and cute that he just has to kiss him.

So he does and, of course since Eddie is his boyfriend, Eddie kisses back. They make out that night and curl up together and then fall asleep.

When Steve wakes up, the bed is empty and cold where Eddie was.

He gets up, assuming Eddie just left to get food, but Eddie is pacing in the kitchen.

“Hey, Teddy, What’s wrong?” Steve tries to get close and hug him, but Eddie shrugs him off.

“I can’t do this with you right now. I need some time to think and I think you should leave. I need a break from you.” Eddie tugs at his hair, not nervous, but stressed.

Steve hears ‘break’ and almost starts crying. He sniffles, eyes getting watery, and Steve just lets out a cracked “okay.” Before grabbing his stuff and bolting out of the house.

By the time he gets in the car, he’s in full out tears.

It’s like Nancy all over again! He just knows that Eddie means to break up with him, nobody goes on a ‘break’ other than to soft launch the ‘break up’.

He thought he was such a good boyfriend to Eddie, he went to all his shows, he brought him home cooked meals, and made sure he knew Steve appreciated him. Steve had started listening to metal for him despite his crushing migraines.

Steve barely makes it home through the warping effect of the tears in his eyes.

He calls out of work for the week to mope because Eddie was his first boyfriend and he really saw a future with him.

On the second day, Will overhears Eddie talking about Steve to Robin and how he “couldn’t be around him.” Will immediately puts together Steve’s absence and sudden ‘flu’.

Will runs back to El and they hop on Will’s bike and go to Steve’s.

When they get there, Steve is still red eyed and teary. His pitiful two month relationship was over and he had been crying over losing Eddie.

Will and El immediately harass him into telling them what happened over some ice cream they extracted from the freezer. Steve tactfully leaves out the weed detail, but otherwise sticks to the story.

El is incredibly mad by the end. Stuff has started levitating half an inch and she questions Steve “why would he do that?”

Steve can’t hold it in anymore and just starts crying again.

“I don’t know.” He croaks out.

Will is patting Steve’s back and El is probably planning a murder.

By the time Steve has calmed down, his phone is ringing and it’s the party looking for El and Will. He offers to drive them back, but the kids insist they bike back.

When El comes in, it is evident she has only gotten more enraged over the entire drive home. The second her eyes fall on Eddie, everything starts shaking angrily.

Eddie on the other hand, does not know El very well and is borderline pissing himself at her rage.

Instead of the flying plates and psychic violence, El starts to cry.

“Why would you do that?” El cries out, tears filling her eyes. She begins to sob and Eddie still has no idea what she’s talking about.

“What do you mean?” Eddie looks halfway between trying to calm her and bolting the other direction.

“Why would you do that to Steve? He really likes you!” Her voice cracks and gets strained at some points, it nearly sounds like nails on a chalkboard.

Eddie is completely not ready to discuss his queer make-out sesh with a child in front of the entire party. Luckily, the Wheeler parents were out and not there to hear it.

“He’s your boyfriend! Why would you break up with him like that?” Eddie lets out a soft understanding laugh.

“El, me and Steve aren’t actually dating, that’s just a joke.” Eddie says soothingly.

“He asked you out in-front of everyone! I was there!” El yelled at Eddie, Will finally beginning to approach his angry sister.

“That was a joke!” Eddie laughs out.

“Did Steve know that?” Will finally pipes up and Eddie’s blood goes cold.

“O-of course, he did!” Eddie feebly attempts to justify. His voice was stringy in a way that showed Eddie didn’t believe himself.

Will just shakes his head at Eddie with sad eyes.

“He thinks you guys have been dating for the past 2 months. El and I thought you were dating for the past two months.” Will says slowly, punctuating his every word carefully.

“That’s why he stopped dating, isn’t it?” Robin pipes up, sounding a little hollow at her failure to notice.

Nobody answers her.

Pt 2 if you ask nicely, or meanly I don’t really care.

PART 2 is HERE

[wanderingbue]

Turns out, Wilson thinks he’s gay.

He drops that bomb on a Thursday night, sitting on House’s couch, where they’re splitting a greasy pizza and a large order of onion rings. Wilson’s not nearly drunk enough for it to be a joke, is the thing. His hands and voice are steady when he explains how it’s haunted him since he was a teenager, how he ran from it and into three failed marriages, how he cheated because he liked the thrill of the chase but was always unsatisfied with the outcome. He wants to tell the important people in his life to ask them for support in this new era, and House is the first one to know.

And yeah, it could explain things. A lot of things. Like the haircare routine, the regular mani/pedis, the shoe collection. This wouldn’t surprise many people. But House isn’t sure he believes him.

Still, Wilson is his best friend, so he tries.

He doesn’t interrupt the first time he sees Wilson getting a little too close and smile-y with a male nurse. (He interrupts the second time, because he knows that nurse is a vegetarian, and House can’t have that influencing Wilson’s cooking and takeout habits.)

He doesn’t sabotage Wilson’s first date with another man. (He does steal Wilson’s phone the next morning and delete the guy’s text asking for a second date, because anyone asking so soon is desperate, and Wilson can do better.)

He tells Wilson which shirts, ties, and pants make him look gay, only this time, he means it positively. He starts TiVoing Queer as Folk for them, instead of The L Word. He offers Wilson poppers one weekend, then has to explain what they are, and how he came to find out about them in the first place (he used to rave in the 80’s, so what?).

House is being supportive, really. Even if he still doesn’t totally buy that Wilson is actually gay.

Mostly, he doesn’t think Wilson is gay because nothing changes.

Wilson still comes over most nights to watch trash TV and drink beer. He still dutifully drops his responsibilities at work, albeit briefly, to provide a diagnostics consult, or to assist in some borderline illegal scheme. They still hang out, and argue, and laugh, and bicker, and celebrate wins together, and are there for each other in the quiet aftermath of loss. They’re still the same.

Maybe Wilson is just confused because he expected to have a wife and kids, and to live in the suburbs by now. Maybe he thinks the reason for this heteronormative failure is that he’s been chasing the wrong kind of tail, instead of the fact that he spends half his time at work and the other half with House, leaving no room for anything or anyone else. And maybe House should feel guilty about that, about robbing Wilson of the life he deserves and forcing him into a fake midlife sexuality crisis, but he doesn’t.

He sort of feels bad about that part, though—the fact that he doesn’t feel bad at all.

But he’s forced to acknowledge his faults when Wilson approaches him in his office one night, trembling before he can even get the words out, I can’t hide how I feel anymore, I need to tell you the truth.

House accepts that he’s selfish because he lets Wilson kiss him breathless, knowing Wilson will never be able to kiss anyone else like this again, knowing that when he tells Wilson to take him home, he’ll never be able to leave. Now he gets it all, the early mornings and the late nights, the warm beds and the cold shoulders, the biting words and the gentle apologies, and every jagged edge left will be weathered by time.

He understands that he’s greedy because he drinks up all the praises and pleading, every filthy word Wilson moans into his ear and whispers into his skin. There’s a lifetime of hunger behind it, a cosmic collision of pain and joy and grief and devotion. It’s a wine aged for twenty years between them, bottled want and yearning, poured into an overflowing glass.

He recognizes that he’s possessive, because he knows he’s got him now, and it's for good. There’s no more sharing attention, or waiting his turn, or swallowing the bitter bile of jealousy. Wilson will stray from any map to follow his true north.

So, whatever, maybe Wilson is lying about being gay, but at least House is honest about being worse.

[karlachismylife]

Writing Russian-speaking characters

So I have once again been chuckling at some adorable clumsy Russian in Nikolai and Nikto fics, and thus I decided to make a little list that might be helpful for fellow COD writers here. And yes, please, feel free to reach out to me if you need any proofreading of your Russian phrases, I would be glad to assist since google translator can butcher it in ways non-speakers won't be able to notice.

I would really appreciate if you guys shared this post and helped it reach people that might need it, I put way more effort into it than I expected myself <3 Also, I might make a followup with some more words and/or phrases that can be useful, so please feel free to request some, since here I am mostly focusing on terms of endearment.

I will write down Russian words, their (approximate and wonky, sorry for that) transcription/transliteration and what part of speech they are (keep in mind that adjectives can be used as nouns when used to address someone) and provide according translation and use.

Keep in mind that in Russian the gender of the word is important!!! I'll write down them in following order: he/him (он/его) version/ she/her (она/её) version/ they/them (они/их) version. However! They/them is NOT traditionally used as gender-neutral pronouns, it's plural only. Some queer and younger folks do use they/them (myself included), but it does sound wonky as it's direct copy from English. Unfortunately, Russian is not very suitable for gender-neutral writing, but there are ways to go about it (I'll try to note some of that too).

*however, since Nikto is sometimes using plural they/them to describe himself, that would be okay with him since it's plural. I hope that makes sense, lol.

So if you're putting an adjective with a noun (example: милый котик) you have to use an adjective in the correct gender form FOR THE WORD! If the noun (котик here) is masculine, you use masculine adjective form EVEN if you're referring to a person with she/her pronouns.

What is love?

The main thing I noticed is that y'all use a direct translation of the word "love" - "любовь" [l'ubov'] (n) to refer to a person. As in "how are you doing, love?". However, that's wrong. "Любовь" is either a word to describe the feeling, or a name (short version would be Люба [Lyuba]). If you wanna use an affectionate pet name, consider one of the following!

дорогой/дорогая/дорогие [dorogoy/dorogaya/dorogiye] (adj) - means "darling". Often used between spouses. Mostly used to refer to person directly, sounds a little quirky if you use it to refer to them in third person (as in "my darling went out to buy some strawberries").

любимый/любимая/любимые [l'ubimiy/l'ubimaya/l'ubimiye] (adj) - means "beloved/loved/loved one" and is probably the closest to "love". You can use it to refer to person directly or to talk about them in third person (as in "can't wait to see любимую". Also yes, the endings are changing depending on the case and I'm not entirely sure how to explain this concisely without going deep into grammar lol).

милый/милая/милые [miliy/milaya/miliye] (adj) - the word means "cute/cutie", but is also used as a general terms of endearment, like "sweetheart". Mainly to refer to someone directly, using it in third person is a little old-fashioned I'd say. Also commonly used by people outside romantic partnership, a kind old lady can definitely call you over with this one asking to help her read expiration date on a milk bottle or something.

любовь моя [l'ubov' moya] (n + adj/pronoun) - okay, I kinda tricked you saying you can't use the word "love" to refer to a person. If you say this (means "my love"), you can! It's pretty romantic and I am actually the one person that uses this daily, otherwise it's either very romance-novel/old-fashioned sounding, but there are moments when it's perfectly suitable. Have that fairytale moment! Also please note, that while "моя любовь" [moya l'ubov'] (adj/pronoun + n) is grammatically correct, it sounds kinda weird if you use it to address the person directly (like in a phrase "my love, you shine brighter than the stars"). While Russian doesn't have particularly strict rules about word order, it does matter to some extent, and this is a prime example: people just use one order way more often that the other.

Pocket-sized

I've already told somewhere here my favourite Nikto fic moment: the sweetest, romantic moment, interrupted by him calling reader "детёныш", which means "cub" as in baby animal. And while my parents do use this word affectionately, I can assure you, most people don't, and it was clear that this was a result of a clumsy translation of "baby" or something like that. So here are some variants for words like baby, little one and such!

малыш/малышка [malysh/malyshka] (n) - I'd say this feels more "little one" than "baby" to me, it's a tad less sexually charged if you get what I mean. Also, you call "малыш" a person of any gender/pronouns, while "малышка" is strictly for she/her. Obviously can be used for kids too.

детка [d'etka] (n) - this one is definitely "baby" or "babe" as a term of endearment, calling a real kid this would be WEIRD if you're not a really old granny. I would also say that it's more commonly used to refer to female partners, but that might be just my perception and experience. It's still okay to use both ways. Also this word can be very much used if you need a little bit of sleazy/catcalling/bad pickup line energy, like someone shouting after a girl passing by on the street. Yuck.

маленький/маленькая [mal'en'kiy/mal'en'kaya] (adj) - this just means "little" or "small", I'd say it's used less commonly and usually in this form "маленький мой/маленькая моя" [mal'en'kiy moy/mal'en'kaya moya] (adj + adj/pronoun). I will expand on this a little later here! Can be used to refer to kids too.

All kinds of fauna

While poor детёныш is reserved for furry freaks like yours truly, there are some animal nicknames that are very widely spread! Here are some that I think would be most useful for y'all. Granted, some people think that these are a lil' bit cringey, but I think it really just depends on what you're used to hear around you. So if I think calling someone a cub is cute, and bunny is cringe, that probably says more about me :D

котик [kot'ik] (n) - this is a term of endearment for a cat. NOT same as kitten, mind you! Mostly used to refer to men (since the word is of masculine gender) - in my experience.

котёнок [kot'onok] (second o here is like ö in German) (n) - now THIS is "kitten". I would say this is more gender-neutral than the previous one, but the word is still masculine gender.

зайка [zayka] (n) - I believe this would be an equivalent to "bunny", although it's actually a cute word for a hare, not a rabbit. Definitely used for all genders (also the word can be both masculine and feminine gender), also is okay to use referring to kids (even teachers that are into endearing nicknames can call pupils this and it's not weird. well, in elementary school). You can also say "зайчонок" [zaych'onok] (n) which is a word for baby hare, even cuter.

рыбка [ribka] (n) - a term of endearment for a fish. I think it's viewed as a bit old-fashioned and thus only used jokingly nowadays, but you know what? Nikolai could pull this off 100%. Bonus points if it's "рыбка моя" [ribka moya] (n + adj/pronoun). Only used for women and the word itself is of feminine gender.

медвежонок [medv'ezhonok] (n) - now, I actually have never met someone who would call their partner this, but I myself would (and I definitely saw it in some media, but that's obv not too reliable). It's a word for a bear cub, so I think it's cute to call a huge ass bear of a military man this word. It's of masculine gender, but I would say it's okay to call a she/her person this too. ALTHOUGH there is a grammatically incorrect (but this only adds to cuteness as it often happens) word "медвежонка" [medv'ezhonka] (n) - this would be a female bear cub. My family uses this word, I use it, no, it won't be in a dictionary, but everyone will understand what you mean. Is okay to use for kids too.

щенок [sh'enok] (if it helps, щ is like German "schtsch", like in Borschtsch, like sh but soft) (n) - now, this actually is not used as a term of endearment, it's "puppy" and it's suitable for degradation. The word is of masculine gender, but you can call anyone this to be honest. You can tell Nikto he's "глупый щенок" [glupiy sh'enok] (adj + n) (silly puppy) and that man will either bark for you or gut you. If you say "тупой" [tupoy] (adj) (dumb) instead of "глупый" [glupiy] (adj) (silly), it will be downright offensive. You can say "щеночек" [sh'enochek] (n), which is an endearing term for a puppy, so it's a little bit sweete. OR you can use my personal favourite - "щен" [sh'en] (n), which is actually also incorrect, but if you've ever heard of a great poet and poetry innovator Mayakovskiy, he was called this word by Lilya Brik. I do NOT have the time to unpack that wild relationship (there was a throuple involved. Russian poetry scene of early XX century was WILD and it's my favourite poetry period hands down), but it's pretty famous. The word "щен" consists of the word "puppy" but with the end diminutive suffix cut off. The trick is, that while some words return to their non-diminutive form with such procedure, this one does not - so you're basically inventing a new word that now sounds quite degrading and harsh, but also sexy as hell (personal opinion). I would definitely call Nikto this word.

птичка [ptich'ka] (n) - that's just "birdie", but I actually wouldn't say many people use it to refer to each other. HOWEVER, Nikolai 100% calls his steel bird this. The word is of feminine gender and if you are calling a person this, it's probably more suitable for a woman.

цыпа [tsipa??] (n) or even цыпочка [tsipoch'ka] (n) - that's a chick, like a baby hen, used only to refer to women (feminine gender word). Honestly I only heard this in foreign films dubbed in Russian or like in jokes/sarcastic phrases. It's kinda rude/indecent/vulgar and the only man that can say that and stay attractive is Captain Jack Sparrow (he used this word in Russian dubbed Pirates like once maybe, talking to Elisabeth, and that was funny cuz he be crazy like that). But maybe you want this, idk.

And everything sweet

Unfortunately, I haven't seen anyone translate the word "honey" as "мёд" directly, that would be another brilliant laugh (cuz it's wrong to refer to a person like that), but there are some "sweet" words to use!

сладкий/сладкая [sladk'iy/sladkaya] (adj) - this just means "sweet", like the taste, and it can be sexy or sleazy or just cute. You can call a kid this word too, BUT for a child would be better сладенький/сладенькая [slad'en'kiy/slad'en'kaya], which is like one step further into diminutive-endearing department.

конфетка [konf'etka] (n) - this is a diminutive word for a candy, a sweet, like a caramel or chocolate or whatever. Not very common, but is cute. Also a way to describe a sexy/good-looking person (more likely a woman, the word is of feminine gender) or just something really good (a bit jokingly). The latter is usually used in a phrase build like "не ..., а просто конфетка", which is roughly translated "that's not ... that's just plain candy". Might have an actual English equivalent that I can't think of right now. Maybe "a total snack"? Probably that one, yeah. Can be said about anything, a car for example.

Shiny

I wanna stick in a few more words of endearment and they all are kinda shiny, lol, so here you go!

солнце [solntse] (n) - this means "sun", like that big glowing thingy in the sky, but it's very welcome as a term of endearment. This word is NEUTER gender (explained in the next section). Viktor Tsoy (a famous rock musician with an unfortunate fate and immortal cultural heritage) had a song ("Cuckoo" - "Кукушка") with the words "солнце моё, взгляни на меня" [solntse moyo, vzgl'yan'i na m'en'ya] (my sun, look at me), so "солнце моё" (n + adj/n) is a good one. You can also use "солнышко" [solnyshko] (n) which is an endearing version of "sun", so it's like "sunshine". Also of neuter gender! Can and should be used to address kids too.

золотце [zolottse] (n) - this literally means like... a little gold? A little golden piece? I don't think there's a proper equivalent in English. It's a word of neuter gender and it's very much used for kids too. Another version would be "золотой мой/золотая моя/золотые мои" [zolotoy moy/zolotaya moya/zolotiye moyi] (adj + adj/pronoun) - this is "my golden", it's a little less common and I feel like it's often used to be condescending, but it's not inherenrly bad, so you can use it for a loved one.

сокровище [sokrov'ish'e] (once again it's щ, look previously) (n) - this is a word of neuter gender and it means "treasure". I personally adore this one and it's pretty common. Can be used for any gender and for kids!

звёздочка [zv'yozdoch'ka] (n) - this is like a little star/starshine. Wouldn't say it's that common, but I use it a lot. The word itself is of feminine gender, but you can call anyone that! Or you can say "звезда моя" [zv'ezda moya] (n + adj/pronoun), which means "my star". Also feminine gender word, but can be used for anyone.

This dog belongs to...

I am not going to go too deep into sexy/sex-related words in this part, because I'll just get overwhelmed with the amount, but I want to go over some words of ownership quickly.

мой/моя/мои/моё [moy/moya/moyi/moyo] (adj/pronoun) - this means my/mine. It goes really well with many words in this list, especially the adjectives, like "мой дорогой" [moy dorogoy] (my darling) or "солнышко моё" [solnyshko moyo] (my sun/sunshine). The last version, "моё" [moyo] is neuter gender, it's NOT gender-neutral! It's the "it/its" I guess (not exactly, but let's just stick with this simplyfied explanation). Previously there were some words of that gender, so here you go. BTW I would say that in speech it's more common to put this word before adjectives and after nouns (like in my examples), just sounds better, but it's not wrong to do otherwsise. You can also just say "ты мой" [ti moy] (you're mine). Also can be used to refer in third person, like when you're discussing your man with your gossip girls, you can just go "а мой вчера..." [a moy vch'era] (and mine yesterday...) and everyone will understand that you mean your man. Unless you wee discussing pets, then they'll probably assume it's your cat.

хозяин/хозяйка [khoz'yain/khoz'yayka] (n) - saw this one too btw. This means "owner" or kiiiinda "master/mistress", and they are gendered, so it's actually wrong to call a woman "хозяин" unless there's some kinky genderfuckery going on (which I'm all for, but like. you get what I mean).

господин/госпожа [gospod'in/gospozha] (n) - okay, THAT is definitely master/mistress, also gendered. Standard BDSM terminology and yada yada.

And that's where I'd like to wrap up for today! However, if needed, I can write more - perhaps with curse words or with sex-related words, or some phrases? I dunno, you tell me! Once again, I kindly ask you to share since I think this will help people (and while I understand the struggle of writing in another language and especially using words from language you don't speak at all, I can't help but be a little thrown off every time I see a wrong use of words in text).

Also remember: while Siberia is bigger than USA or even Canada, there are still other regions in Russia that deserve to be mentioned <3 a lot of places with mindblowing nature, cultural heritage etc.

[fucktoyfelix]

This is actually a useful thing to understand how to spell out. What exactly is wrong with puritanical attitudes towards sexuality? TW: Discusses body image issues, suicide, STIs, sexual assault etc

1. It fosters fear, disgust and loathing of our bodies. By hiding the human body as soon as we are born, and treating it as an object of inherent shame: THAT creates trauma. Shame is one of the primary sources of trauma, its the fuel and lets trauma burn. Those raised in nudist societies, and children raised in households where nudity is treated in a neutral and non-sexual tend to have a much more positive relationship with their bodies as adults. This makes complete sense when you think about it. Going through puberty not knowing if your body is "normal" terrifies children in ways that stick with them for life. In fact, most cultures outside of the Unites States aren't as strange about non-sexual nudity actually...and are healthier for it. We can't have body positivity as long as we are literally criminalized for having an uncovered body. 2. It creates fear, shame and disgust about sex. Most people have sex at some point in their lives. No one would be here at all without it. Most people have sexual desires which lie outside their control. When people are ashamed of those desires, it leads to self hatred, and depression and anxiety. This shame is just as traumatic as bodily shame. When sex is normalized, and treated with the same candor as any other hobby: it becomes less apt to traumatize people.

3. Puritanical attitudes towards sex limit sex education. When people are too ashamed to talk about sex, people don't learn about pregnancy, stis, or consent. All of these things can and do kill people when they aren't addressed with an open dialogue.

Sexual shame leads to people too ashamed to buy condoms, to talk to their doctor about birth control, to ask their partner to use protection, to get tested...the negative health impacts of sexual puritanism have a massive negative effect on society.

4. Sexual shame leads to poorer communication in relationships. Ohh if I had a dime for every person i knew who ruined their relationship because they felt too guilty to talk to their partner about their sexual feelings...Not just that, but the general body shame that comes with puritanism blocks people from connecting to one another too. Have you ever avoided getting close to someone because you were ashamed of your body? If not, I guarantee you know someone who has.

5. Misogyny! Puritanical sexual believes hold that women are not capable of sexual agency. That only men should initiate sex. That women should only ever want babies and not pleasure from sex. All of this rolls right into the next one:

6. Victim blaming in sexual assault. When women are the gatekeepers of sex, its easy to blame them when they 'fail' to protect their chastity when someone violates their trust. This isn't something that just effects women: as the same attitudes hold that men are not capable of experiencing sexual assault. The lack of education and discussion about sex in a sex-negative world inherently prevent the open dialogues necessary for creating and maintaining consent culture.

7. Suppression and marginalization of the queer community. If we're too ashamed to talk about sex, we'll be too ashamed to talk about sexuality. Puritans can't accept any deviation from gender norms either. Anything other than sex between a cis man and a cis woman for the purpose of making a baby is a deviant kink, a mental illness, and needs to be wiped out. Its important to point out that many queer people hold puritanical values about sex: believing that they can achieve sex negativity and queer liberation at the same time. However, sex negative movements always rise with censorship and discrimination of queer people...because queer people are inherently considered deviant by the vast majority of sex negative "allies". It's very dangerous to forget this.

8. Censorship of art. Who decides what is sexual and what is not? Its easy to agree that sex needs to be hidden...but it never takes long before the definition of what is "sexual" expands. Even women's breasts are considered sexual in the United States. Its so normal for Americans to think of them that way that women can't feed their children in public. Drag queens face violence for reading at libraries. Books get taken off the shelves. Artists are bullied offline.

9. Censorship of scientific exploration. Scientific research into reproductive health, sexual behavior, gender identity and more are often hindered due to the "moral objections" of puritans, delaying progress and understanding. That's just off the top of my head. I think its time for people to take how problematic 'puritanism' is more seriously. As we see fascism rear its ugly head all over the world, we're going to see a lot more talk about 'degenerates'...and we know where that kind of talk leads.