#queer expereince

[chickpea0]

Hello to all my genderqueer tumblrites. you are AWESOME.

[kaedthoughts]

sorry for being absent, got my brain melted by three of my mutuals who i absolutely freaking adore and would literally fetch for

back now, plenty of horny to go around and maybe even a picture or two if you're really nice to me..

[sundry0]

Putting this on my more personal blog but, saying that the only people who don't like the word queer are cys transphobes is straight up false.

For a very long time “queer” was used as a derogatory like “gay” was in the early 2000s. It was a word used to vilify and wound people, and many elders in the LGBTQIA+ community still have memories of suffering horrible physical and verbal abuse while having that word flung at them.

This does not mean the word cannot be reclaimed- and the younger generations absolutely have- but newer generations adoption of the word does not immediately override the trauma of the generations preceding them.

Enough of our history has been lost to time-erased by those who viewed our community thought a lens of hate- and that erasure creates misunderstandings like this.

By saying that only transphobes are against using the word “queer”, you are placing a horrible accusation onto individuals who lay the foundations of the LGBTQIA+ community. There may be transphobes among them, but the avoidance of that word doesn't mean they inherently are.

[pixiegrl]

Im experienceing....something

[weird-tea]

Heartstopper is such a big deal in terms of queer representation yes but honestly the thing that has me stuck on it is stuff like

"I'm used to people saying stuff about me."

"No but you shouldn't have to be!"

Just Nick's, and the narrative as a whole's, insistance that Charlie deserves better, and not just in some tragic oh this poor character is suffering the deserve so much more but in an actionable no this character deserves to be treated with respect and dignity and love and not made to feel small.

Nick's love for Charlie isn't him loving this tragic figure it's him actively being upstet and angry that Charlie wasn't treated better and that those expereinces have messed him up and he needs and deserves help undoing all the shit that messed up his head, and that doesn't make Charlie weak that makes him so so strong.

I adore Nick Nelson for being the bisexual representation I needed but I will love him forever for getting it into my head that I am worthly of love no matter how messed up my head is, that I didn't deserve the shit that taught my brain those bad lessons and I don't deserve the struggle I have now to unlearn that stuff and be happy, and none of that makes me lesser. It makes me someone he would admire and feel compassion for, and when I'm in a bad place that really freaking helps.

[aroanthy]

Besides Anthy what other characters do you are aro- or any kind of a-spec?

All Of Them.

on a more serious note, im very partial to the following aspec readings of characters:

aroace/aroace lesbian nanami; one thing to know about me is that i realised i was aromantic because of two things. the first is that i wrote a 55k word fanfiction about two side characters from the 2005 bbc political satire 'the thick of it' that was basically just me airing my fundamental discomfort with romantic relationships, and the second is watching her tragedy and the romance of the dancing girls for the first time. Yeag.

aromantic nanami is profoundly important to me and i really just resonate with her character on a personal level. like shes so me. i dont get it. i too have convinced myself of all kinds of taboo and 'weird' affections and feelings because i Dont Understand Romance (just as a side note: i understand why some people take the cold turkey 'nanami never considered romantic feelings for her brother!!' reading, but for me personally. i think it's important to consider nanami considering those feelings, specifically because they make her feel uncomfortable, alienated, etc. there's also lots of interesting things to be said about how incest can affirm heteronormativity (and how it can't!! but that's more of a kaoru twins can of worms)).

and there's other stuff but we needn't get into that. i love when other people feel able to talk in-depth about how their personal expereinces shape their responses to rgu, but im not quite at that point with certain things. i do also just really like reading nanami as an aroace lesbian bc i find her connection with utena specifically to be soooooo. gah. delicious. fascinating. devastating. and also i love aroace lesbains they are the best

asexual utena; i just think he's neat :} sometimes i feel hesitant to read characters as asexual if theyre teenagers or if they have sexual trauma and funnily (not) enough, utena is both! having said that, i recently decided 'fuck it' and have been thinking about this interpretation of his character more and more. like, my aromantic identity is partially political, partially trauma-informed, and i feel quite strongly about queerness in part being one's choice to define (or not define) themselves on their own terms, be they 'contradictory' or 'inaccurate' or whatever the hell else.

i also have a fondness for asexual masculine characters. me personally i read utena as butch and transmasc and i think it's really interesting to think about how that queer masculinity can be expressed outside of allosexuality, especially considering what rgu as a show tries to do wrt that matter. dont ask me about my feelings on ikuhara and false dichotomies of love and lust in his works or i WILL explode ok sarazanami is The aroallo show and im soooo normal about it all tbh

i have this kind of vague arospec touga reading that im always knocking about in my head but kind of scared to talk about online because like. it's quite a lot to get into and, as an aroallo person, i dont want to get into discourse about if it's problematic to read a character like touga in that way. bc like. i dont think it is. but that's because i'm basing this reading off of my own lived experience and understanding of what aromantic allosexuality can look like. to be honest, if i really had to stick labels on them (bc labels are a shorthand to me that never fully express the complexity of identity that i want to personally (writer disease)) i read anthy as an aromantic lesbian and touga as aromantic and gay. but normally you would have to waterboard that out of me because im terrified of how people who aren't aroallo respond to aroallo conceptions of like... Anything. lol.

i think the tldr of Why im compelled by those similar readings of their characters is. something about how terrifying and constraining and rigid and incomprehensible and inaccessible romance feels to me as a concept. and something else about how important sex is to me as a concept, and kind of. this radical sex positivity that is so essential, imho, to beginning to unpack the issues baked into our hetero- and amatonormative conceptions of romance and sex, and thus reclaim human connection as we please. blah blah blah wah wah wah body as a bargaining chip or whatever (guy who is mildly terrified of talking about these things for Reasons).

that's it for specific readings i have of specific characters, but i will say that i do find it hard to put myself in the shoes of certain characters if im thinking of them as alloromantic. like i think juri probably is but i dont not understand her conflict with shiori and why it agonises her so much. but tbf, most of my focus on juri as a character is her struggle for self-acceptance and her fascinating gender troubles. funnily enough, that's also kind of how i feel about saionji. they are just both so genderfuck self-hating gay plagued by the power dynamics and i love that for them.

anway yeag :} rejoice, aromanticism be upon ye

[four-bastard-bustle]

I know you mentioned Edd having a bunch of one night stands but would he have had some with Eduardo? Or any of the other guys?

oh you fuckin know it, edd and eduardo are 100% 9 to 5 enemies 5 to 9 lovers ive said this before but i mean it so literally, they absolutely have random casual hookups in my heart

honestly ive been playing around with the idea of the four lads having a bit of a friend with benifits situation since i made this blog. part of me wants to have fun with a casual intimacy and a relationship in which they just do whatever feels right with each other in the moment. and part of me is so hooked on relationship drama and specifically matts inability to be normal as soon as he gets his boney hands on someone. this is where my general rule that all my ships are open relationships helps out. everyone is polygamous unless stated otherwise. monogamy has no place on this blog, so i declare as i bang my scepter on the ground

but also i know in my heart that all of them have had sex with each other at some point at least once. if they share a life long history with each other, as the show implies, then they absolutely had some queer expereinces with each other at least once.

imagine tord trying a relationship with each of them at least once only to think "no im definitely not into guys but then why do i still feel different fron straight men?" until she finally gets it

[acethena-discourse]

your life can suck and you can suffer from oppression but still have privilege on other axis??? do you also think white trans people don't have white privilege for example? anyone who is cishet has cishet privilege, just like men have male privilege. do you think an ace who is cishet and an ace who is cis and bi have the same expereince? do you think queer people can't have cis privilege?

Okay. But how do I a trans man have male privileges. Go on. Explain. Because I never said "I have no privileges" I asked Where is my male privileges. You know since the post literally has a screen shot saying trans men PRE-TRANSITION have male privileges.

[noahfandomstudies]

Frameworks within TOH

Queer theory- the show constantly challenges heteronormative conveitonality, through the representations and queer themes throughout the show for ex. willow being confirmed as pansexual. There is also speculation that luz's close bond with amity can be identified as a queer relationship due to the character being confirmed to be bisexual.

Gender- The charachter of luz kind of breaks the mold of the traditional fictional hero stock character of a young man in the fantasy world who is full of self confidence and charisma by introducing a female character who posses heroic and self confidence qualities while breaking societal expectations within media.

Econ- Economic themes pop up within TOH specifically within the Blight family who thinks that since they have this mega company they can pretty much have an obscene amount of influence in the public community, which seems to try to emulate real world ideals. After the portal is broken eda can no longer steal from the human world and sell junk to make her living so she relies on doing odd jobs, another example of financial burden that people face in the real world.

Culture- Luz is Afro-Dominican-American which is a different take on the traditional character and is highlighted throughout the different interactions she sends to her mother. Lots of designs, magical creatures, and world-building in the series draw inspiration from different cultures to create a more unique and immersive expereince.

What would i analyze?

How does the characters within the show symbolize representation within the real world?

What are some ways that Luz completely changes the traditional way of portraying the main protagonist and moving away from stock characters?

[lets-zofifi-stuff]

Sapient robots headcanon: For AI's aro/ace is default. Those who expereince romantic attraction can be considered queer. Some may be only attracted to humans, to other robots, some to both.

Basically: for robots any and all romance is gay

[absolutebl]

I saw your posts about ITSAY and was curious if you've seen Love of Siam (2007)? ITSAY in a way resolved the angst I felt from that film. When Love of Siam aired, I argued that it would usher in an era of new gay film and television, and we saw the beginnings of Thai BL in the years after that. Wanted your thoughts on the matter.

OMG what a great ask and it turns out I have lots of thoughts. Who knew? *sarcasm* 

Love of Siam, ITSAY, Thailand & the HEA Gay

First of all I agree with you in so many ways. 

Yes I have seen Love of Siam (2007) and it totally destroyed me. That old school queer cinema amorphous ending is hard for me to take. We were given nothing but that (or death) for so many YEARS in queer cinema, it was always the same message: 

“yeah, but society is the way it is, so sucks to be you.” 

I totally get that this was mainly queer writers and directors working out their damage as a result of a homophobic world’s pressures and expectations, but I’m exhausted by it. I want us to get positive, happy, life affirming narratives. 

I also get the argument that in many ways ITSAY solves for Love of Siam’s damage by putting its characters through a similar narrative arc but ending them up together, and I will watch it in order to get there some day. I just gotta work myself up to struggling through the first half of that old familiar journey of DOOM. 

I mean they even parrot the famous last scene. “I can’t be your boyfriend” to “Be my boyfriend.”

I agree with you that Love of Siam is Thailand’s first tentative step towards BL and it’s certainly a seed child for more queer affirming and realistic Thai BL like ITSAY. But I think it was critically acclaimed and accepted at the time, and still is because of its so called “realistic approach.” But IMHO what is actually going on is a homophobic society’s (and film critic’s) way of saying “well, we liked it because we find its messaging acceptable.” By plauditing Love of Siam, in part, they were doing their own messaging: “This film is correct in that the gays can’t be happy because they are gay. Love doesn’t conquer all.” 

I would argue that if Love of Siam had ended with an HEA for the boys it would not have been as acclaimed. Partly because the culture at the time couldn’t stand a more positive queer message, and partly because any narrative that ends happily is automatically critically disenfranchised for various reasons. I will die on that tiny hill. 

I’ve spent my whole life (and career) fighting for HEA narratives in the critical, academic, and pop culture sphere.  

I desperately want to see normalization of a positive outcome for the queer life journey. That is why I’m such a proponent of gay romance, and Thai BL especially, but more than anything else Happy Ever Afters for queer couples. 

I think queer HEA is a vital component of cultural shift towards acceptance. One of the most powerful things fictional narratives can do is represent us in positive happy centrally-focused universally palatable ways. At their foundational level, these narratives give out hope. (And yes they have many flaws, but this isn’t one of them.)

But I believe modern Thai BL owes more (tonally) to Love Sick and SOTUS than Love of Siam. And yes, absolutely Love Sick probably wouldn’t have happened without Love of Siam but it is fundamentally different, as is what came after. 

What Thailand did with Love Sick in 2014 is to go soapy and cheesy with the coming out experience. Yes it still has that touch of genuine teen angst, but Love Sick pivoted into full on HEA and charming whimsey and I love it for that. SOTUS kind of cemented the deal that what Thai audiences wanted (and the rest of the world from Thailand) was upbeat BL. Fortunately for me, they leaned into it. 

That bifurcation I talk about with Japan? Thailand chose the cheerful sun dappled path.  And I am grateful they left narrative arcs like Love of Siam behind. 

I genuinely love the fluffy escapist stuff that comes after 2016 better (I use both those terms affectionately). I really enjoy the light-hearted cheese of what amounts to Thai’s gay romcoms. It makes me happiest when there’s very little angst and what’s there is trivial (Oxygen, how I love thee). I don’t want to be reminded in any way of how dark and unhappy the queer life experience can be. I get that enough from real life. The fact that ITSAY goes there, but then rectifies it, still means I’m on the narrative path of going there first. 

For me the two great joys of modern Thai BL are 

how unlike reality it is 

how unremittingly happy the messaging of a future of unity and acceptance 

Well that question made me think about my whole damn life philosophy. 

What a morning this has been.

*queer hugs for everyone* 

(source)

[truthundressing]

thank u pride 2022 for being so gentle with me 🫂🤍

[inthegardensofourminds]

Holy f-cking sh-t!

I don’t want to get my hopes up for nothing, but ARE WE GETTING A LESBIAN BAR SCENE???!?!? I really hope Susie is going to be there. I hope Midge will be there, too.

[squeakadeeks]

not to be a downer but anybody else got that gay/trans pain of feeling like you’re allowed to exist so long as you never take on a partner or participate in any romantic activities despite deeply longing for them cause fellas,

[carpisuns]

your tags about jimbo from treasure planet having a bi aesthetic are so correct - i think pirates and space are both important parts of queer culture (space is more ace in my expereince) (see pirates of the Caribbean and all the future bi kids being torn between staring at Keira Knightley or Orlando Bloom or Johnny Depp) also i think there's a huge overlap between people who had a crush on jim and people who had a crush on Dmitry from anastasia

omg YES pirates are so bi. Have you seen heartstopper? (If not, it’s SO cute, I highly recommend.) anyway there was that one part where a nick was watching pirates of the caribbean and looking at both keira knightley and orlando bloom like 😳😳 and it made me laugh so much haha relatable af

Haha the space ace thing also makes so much sense to me and they even rhyme! Lol. This actually works out perfectly bc I told my sister that jim gave me bi vibes and she was like “huh he gives me ace vibes” but he’s a SPACE pirate so it makes sense he’d give off both vibes haha

DHSJSKSK YES DMITRI MY BELOVED u are so correct about that. i think it’s the hair for both of them. also the fashion. and the fact that they are Troublemakers. yeah

thanks for reminding me that he exists

[kingkacchan]

@cheyj05

a...are u saying that magne, a transmisogynistic characature who is depicted in deeply offensive ways and then is brutally murdered, and tiger, another deeply transmisogynistic characature that is canonically described as having "gone to thailand to have 'the surgery'" which is a very well known and deeply offensive way of describing trans women who have had grs in southeast and east asia, are proof that horikoshi *isnt* queerphobic? i didnt forget them, i was very specifically including them. those depictions are not good or positive. theyre deeply offensive and based on established queerphobic tropes. they're also blatently obvious to anyone who has experience with these tropes. its understandable if your very young why u dont know about them or havent expereinced them yet, but i promise u they are very real and if u google "bury your gays" "man in a dress trope" "gay marriage slippery slope beastiality" u will find hundreds of sources explaining and documenting these things. they very much exist, even if uve never heard of them before and if that isnt enough, as a bisexual trans man who was with my current spouse before gay marriage was legal, i can assure u that people told me to my face that people like me should not be allowed to get married because if they let me get married, they'd have to let someone else marry their dog. because loving my same sex spouse was exactly as perverted and disgusting as someone wanting to fuck a dog. i know that that sentiment is queerphobic because people said so to my face. it's not a reach or a jump, it literally happened to me verbatim, multiple times. it was on the news everyday for years. this is not something horikoshi did on accident or for positive reasons. he did it because that is how he views gay people. that our same sex attraction is the same as bestiality to him. and i know that because he literally said it. because otherwise there is no reason to include animals in that sentance. toga could have very easily simply said "heros and villains, girls and boys" and that be the end of it. why else would u put animals alongside there? i think its incredibly niave to assume there was absolutely no negative reason to do that and that it doesnt at all speak to horikoshis unconcious biases against queer people and again, none of this is to say that queer people cant like those characters or are doing something wrong by making lemonade out of lemons. i can enjoy bnha while still calling a spade a spade. i enjoy these characters greatly, that doesnt mean the writer is free from bias and couldnt possibly be doing something badly. because simply including queer people in ur media doesnt inherently make something queer positive and absolutely doesnt mean its author isnt still queerphobic. if u are using homophobic and transmisogynistic tropes that are very well known and highly offensive to depict ur queer characters and then killing them, it doesnt matter what else u do. u lose all good faith interpertation and anything else u say about them or how sympathetic u make them doesnt erase the homophobia and transmisogyny that is at their core.

I would suggest u maybe consider why it is u feel the need to defend a man u absolutely do not know and who neither needs nor deserves ur effort from the words he literally got paid to write into one of the most popular mangas currently being published in the largest name in the industry. i promise u that ur life loses nothing if horikoshi is homophobic. which is a thing u cant defend him against because u do not know him. u cannot say for certainty that he is not queerphobic. but i can say for certainty that he is using queerphobic tropes to depict his queer characters in deeply bigoted ways because it is directly there printed on the page.

i understand and share ppls excitement about the girls but lets not sit here and praise horikoshi for jack shit as if he didnt literally put bisexualty and beastiality in the same sentance

"canon bi toga" u mean canon animal fucker toga because in horikoshis queerphobic fucking mind those are the same gd thing apparantly