#quantumboogaloo thoughts

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I have one more exam to survive to get my degree!!! So fucking ready

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I have a very long list of disabilities, and it would be wonderful for them to vanish or be cured, but they won't. My disabilities mean that I can never accomplish my childhood dream of being an astronaut. It is heartbreaking, but it is also just a fact of life.

As someone with various mental health issues, three chronic autoimmune diseases, and various other disabilities, I have come to terms with the fact that I cannot just get rid of my disabilities.

And while it would be great to get rid of my disabilities, they have shaped who I am to an extent. I am stronger, more persistant, and more creative than I would be without them. I am disappointed that I cannot realize my childhood dream, but there are other dreams out there that I can and will realize.

I think a great, easy to explain example of this is how fiction treats mental illness, specifically depression. In stories, characters often have an emotional "darkest hour" towards the end. This often resembles depression. However, when the characters do something in the story, it magically fixes their emotional darkest hour. However, this isn't how real life works, obviously. You can't do one single thing to cure depression, and to act like you can is incredibly harmful. Depression is often a long struggle, not a single short battle.

And a "cure" to anything in real life is not a reward to be given, as it often is in fiction. However, I don't think there is much to be done. Having a reward at the end of the story is satisfying. It makes the story feel complete. It's the "happily ever after" that we often like in fiction. I think it is just important to remember that we cannot expect reality to imitate fiction.

i really hate when we r like can we please stop the trend of disabled characters magically being Cured as this like amazing plot point or ending n people are like “SO YOU WANT THEM TO STAY SUFFERING?” no i just want some accurate representation without it feeling like my disability is being rubbed in my face because a cure doesn’t fucking exist irl. “it’s fantasy” it’s inspiration porn u fuckin weirdos.

why do u hate disabled people being disabled why do you feel like we all need curing?? you know we can be happy right? we can live full, joyous lives! disabled characters don’t need to me cured to be fulfilled!!!!!

some of u need to just admit that seeing disabled characters Be Disabled scares u. like u need to see us cured and able bodied miraculously because u don’t like the actual truth about being disabled because u know u can become One of Us at any moment.

stop trying to make us palatable for your own comfort u weirdos !!! i fucking hate The Disabled Character is cured and it’s a miracle!!!

it is literally just..inspiration porn idk how people can’t see that. it’s so fucking blatant

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If I had a nickel for every time Dr. Doofenshmirtz created an army of himself, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice

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"My father said the dog was like the son he never had, and named him Only Son"

So, in "Got Game," it is unclear whether Roger just hasn't been born when their father has the dog or Doof's father simply doesn't care for either of his sons. However, from "Rollercoaster: The Musical!," Roger was most likely around when they got the dog. Heinz doesn't appear to age between when the dog is small and grown, and Roger is at least I'd say 5 years old minimum in this image from "Rollercoaster: The Musical!"

Basically, I feel that this is strong evidence that Mr. Doofenshmirtz didn't like either of his children, while Mrs. Doofenshmirtz did care for Roger. I can't decide if that makes Heinz's backstory more or less tragic, but it is a detail I couldn't stop fixating on.

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That’s why books have covers. To judge them.

This saying has always bothered me. The show doesn’t act like Candace is wrong in this moment. Linda admits that she picked the books because they looked interesting, (based on the covers) but then a big point in the story is that she shouldn’t have judged Meap based on the fact he looked cute, which is accurate. It always drew my attention to the fact that the saying was stupid and not a very good analogy.

Candace makes a really good point here. Books covers are intentionally designed to give you an idea of what’s in them. That’s why they usually have a summary on the back or inside cover.

People on the other hand aren’t as clear cut. There’s no “summary” that we can look at when we see a person. It’s why I’ve always hated that saying, and just another reason in the pile of why I love this show.

Also, this show made me understand figurative speech, literary analysis, etc. way better than multiple high school and college English courses ever did. Gotta love when a cartoon is better at explaining metaphors (and some of their failings) better than 15 years of public school and college. (Okay, slight exaggeration, but still)

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One of my favorite Doofenshmirtz moments ever is his poem:

The movies are gray The TV is black The horses are running Please bring me some food

Because, as an autistic person, this is exactly how poetry felt to me, especially as a kid. When I had to write poetry for school, my work was equally disjointed and weird. Because if a poem doesn't have a story, what's the point? (I now understand poetry as an art form a bit better now, but as a kid it was extremely validating to see one of my favorite characters also suck at poetry).

I mean, I almost made that my senior quote! (my actual senior quote was the glorious "If I had a nickel for every time I've been doomed by a puppet, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice")

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My sister is trying to get me to try contact lenses. That’s gonna be a big no. The idea of putting anything that close to my eyes is horrible. I will never give contacts a shot because *sensory issues*

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I’ll be walking into a building with two doors immediately beside each other and someone is coming out. I naturally go to the door on the right, and then the person coming out opens the left door for me but I don’t wanna go through the left door so I just keep going. Why am I like this?

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I try so hard to be kind and empathetic and level headed and slow to anger and all that stuff.

Then I’ll think about what I said and realize I’m just a bitch sometimes.

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"Gimme a Grade" is a good, don't get me wrong, but "The Fail Wail" is true artistry. Incredibly relateable, Baljeet.

The Baljeatles, Season 2

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Can’t wait to move into my apartment as a potential hurricane hits the area tomorrow.

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Senior year of engineering is so, so difficult. I want to cry

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It makes me so sad that there are genuinely people who believe the Earth is flat.

Like, the 18th century church was able to accept the heliocentric model. Why are we regressing like this?

So many inventions and improvements came about due to NASA and space exploration that better the lives of so many people.

Also flat earth literally makes no goddamn sense so there's that too ig

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More of my excruciatingly bad luck today: I was washing my face and a little bit of the face wash got in my hair and the clump of hair swung down into my eyeball.

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I hate group projects so fucking much

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People should say “have a lovely day” more often. It’s such a nice phrase, so much better than “good.”