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caffeinewitchcraft · 5 months ago

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Ghost Eater

Summary: You don't like exorcists. They don't much like you either.

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You’d always thought big restaurants like the Brownie Industry only did well in small, midwestern towns like the one you came from. A year working in LA has taught you that, no matter where you go, people will always love garlic bread and sugar.

It’s your day off which means you’re pulling a double shift. You haven’t had time to wash your hair for the past two weeks so it’s frizzing out of your claw clip and flying wild around your face. The lighting is so dim that you’ve tripped over two black purses already, luckily not while you’re running food. The big dining room sounds like an apiary with the tittering laughter of the later adult crowd that’s filtered in from the theater across the four lane road. The main difference between the Brownie Industry here and the one back home is size. The ceiling soars overhead, supported by a series of concrete pillars separating the dining area into three sections.

Normally it would be three servers per section. Today, it’s just you in yours.

One more hour. That’s what the manager promised you. It might even be true if the host stand quits seating you after the table you’re approaching.

There are three people at the table. A woman whose hair might be light blonde or gray in the light of day, her eyes light and piercing. Her face is soft from age, emphasized by the tight, lace collar of her off-season sweater. She reminds you strongly of your mom’s nemesis on the HOA board. The man couldn’t be more out of place next to her despite their equivalent age. He’s wearing a leather jacket – again, it’s not cold here – and a Norwegian metal shirt underneath. His hair is definitely white, so white it almost glows. He’s frowning at the teenager across the table as if she’s touched his motorcycle without permission.

The teenager might be the first you’ve seen all night who doesn’t have their phone out. She’s decked out in what you consider grandma florals – a t-shirt scattered with daisy chains, a bucket hat made out of nana’s carpet bag, and a hand-crocheted scarf in pastel. You can’t really see her face under the shadow of her hat and there’s an odd, blurred quality to the way she fiddles with her napkin. You let your eyes skip past her and back to the two adults. Teenagers don’t pay the bill.

“Welcome to Brownie Industry!” you chirp. You’re sweaty and red but the faded yellow light hides that. You’re a service industry pro so none of your exhaustion shows on your face when you ask, “Is this your first-time dining with us?”

If you weren’t so burned out, you’d have noticed before you introduced yourself.

“Are you Grady?” the woman asks. Her voice is more posh than you expected even with her lace collar. “Grady Pace?”

Fuck. There’s a noticeable temperature differential now that you’re close to them. The restaurant is warm from the number of bodies, maybe even warmer than the summer air outside, but stepping up next to their table feels like walking into an ice rink.

“I’m your waitress,” you say. You don’t have time for this conversation. You’ve got five minutes in your cycle to take their order and then you’ve got food to run. “If you need any other services from me, I have a website.”

“We messaged you,” the man says. His lips thin to the point his thick mustache covers them entirely. “You never responded.”

Because you’ve been making more money at the Brownie Industry than your other job. “I’ll take a look at it tonight.”

“Wait,” the teenager says, sitting upright. She looks from you to the adults and back again. When she smiles, there’s no humor in it. “This is why we drove eight hours to have dinner at the Brownie Industry? For her?”

“Katie, be polite—”

“I’m sorry,” Katie says, “It’s just—I found a priest, you know? An actual exorcist priest and you guys want to trust a waitress over him?”

“Ugh exorcists,” you say. The memory of sour cabbage is so heavy on your tongue that you stick your tongue out in disgust. When you see Katie’s look, you backtrack. “Effective! Definitely effective.”

“Your mistakes have cost us too much already,” the man says, shaking a finger at her. “We are not converting just for an exorcism.”

“I normally don’t agree with your father,” the woman tells Katie, “but in this case I would like to leave conversion as a last resort.”

“We wouldn’t actually convert,” Katie says, rolling her eyes.

“Pretty sure exorcists can tell when you lie,” you tell Katie. When her scowl deepens, you clear your throat. “Did you all need another minute to think about the menu?”

“We need you to help us,” the dad says. He scrubs a hand over his face. “Look, I know you’re at work and I’m sorry we’re bothering you.”

“We’re desperate,” the mom says. She reaches for her purse. “We’ll pay you. Triple the rate on your website or even quadruple. We need that thing gone by tonight.”

Katie covers her face. “Mom. You’re embarrassing me. Terry isn’t that bad.”

“Oh, he’s bad, young lady,” the dad says sternly. “A bad influence.”

“We caught her trying to perform another séance yesterday,” the mom confesses to you. She leans forward with a pinched expression. “So Terry’s friend Larry could visit too.”

“Interesting,” you say. The food bell rings, but you think you can ignore it for another minute. You study Katie’s blush. “Why did you do that?”

If she was being compelled, she won’t have an answer to your question. You’ve dealt with a lot of ghosts in your time, but so few are sentient enough – or powerful enough – for compulsion.

“Go on,” the dad says, gesturing at you. “Tell her.”

“Leroy, she’s embarrassed enough,” the mom says.

“No, she’s not, Sarah.” The dad – Leroy – gestures to you again. “Tell her.”

Katie huffs, clearly resistant. But when her dad huffs back, she caves. “So,” she says, “I have this YouTube channel—”

“I’m off in an hour,” you interrupt. You don’t care that you’re being rude. Your patience ran out as soon as she said YouTube. “I’ll meet you in the parking lot.” You turn to go.

“A moment!” Sarah shakes out her menu. “How’s the nicoise salad?”

Of course they’re going to order. They’d better tip too if they want you to help them with their ghost problem.

----.

“You said an hour,” mom Sarah says when you leave out the employee entrance. She’s shivering next to her daughter. Leroy is off smoking behind his motorcycle, parked next to the Tesla Katie is leaning on, but he stubs out his cigarette on the asphalt when you walk up. “It’s been two.”

“I had side work,” you say instead of it would have been one if not for you. You rub your bare arms when the familiar ghost chill washes over you. You want nothing more than to go home and wash the scent of garlic and brownie batter out of your hair. “Was there something wrong with my service?”

“No?”

You try to make your voice light. “I see.”

Sarah frowns at your tone anyway. “Why?”

“You tipped five dollars.”

Katie jolts like a scalded cat. “Mom!”

Leroy scrubs a hand over his face. “Sarah…”

“What?” Sarah throws up her hands. The parking lot lights catch on her Swarovski charm bracelet. “I tipped!”

“Like ten percent,” Katie says. She pulls her bucket hat over her eyes for a beat and then peeks at you from under it. “I’m so sorry. It’s not you, she’s always like this.”

“It was actually a six percent tip,” you say. You’re getting a clearer picture of this little family now. It’s becoming more and more understandable why Katie might have started summoning ghosts. “If you want to be precise.”

Leroy reaches for his back pocket. “Let me.”

Sarah swats at his hand. “We’re about to pay her a lot more than that!”

“For a completely separate job,” Leroy says. He pulls a twenty from his wallet and hands it to you with a grimace. “Sorry, Grady, I should’ve checked.”

“You should’ve paid if you cared so much,” Sarah retorts. She folds her arms over her chest. She taps her cheek and widens her eyes. “Oh wait… you never pay.”

“Sure,” Leroy says. This time it’s his turn to throw his hands in the air. “Sure, Sarah. I don’t pay for anything to do with our daughter’s private school or her dance classes or her health insurance—”

“If the court hadn’t mandated—”

“You make twice as much as me—"

“Guys!” Katie says loudly. Her mouth is a thin line of upset when she says, “Argue about what an expensive burden I am later when we don’t have an audience, okay?”

Her parents speak at the same time.

“You’re twisting my words,” Sarah says. “I never said—"

“Sweetie, you’re not a burden—”

“Can you just get this ghost out of me?” Katie asks you. She goes for nonchalance and falls short. “My parents haven’t been in the same room for the last five years for a reason.” She fakes whispering. “They don’t play nicely with others.”

Sarah bristles. “Katie.”

“God, I know how that is,” you say. The whole interaction is giving you the worst case of sympathy for Katie. Before her parents can say anything else, you change the subject. “How long have you been haunted?”

“Six months,” Katie says. She fiddles with her bucket hat so that you can see her eyes for the first time. They’re brown, like her dad’s, and have heavy bruises underneath. She shrugs. “They only noticed a month ago though.”

“I noticed your behavior had changed,” Sarah defends. Like her daughter, she fidgets. She plays with her bracelet and clears her throat. “I thought it was a teenage thing.”

“What signs did you notice first?” you ask the parents. They glance at each other and then away.

“Let’s just say we noticed different things,” Leroy says dryly. He pulls out his phone.

“Moodiness,” Sarah says. She ticks them off on her fingers. “Laziness. Disrespect. Over-sleeping.”

“Those are just teenager things,” Katie says with an astounding level of self awareness. She shrugs. “I’m a senior now. They’re lucky it didn’t start sooner.”

“I,” Leroy says, “noticed this.” He turns his phone towards you.

“Ah,” Sarah says, “Yes. That.”

You examine the picture. It’s of Katie on a small dirt bike. She’s wearing a helmet in the picture, but you recognize the fashion sense in the floral boots she’s wearing. The scene behind her is of the hills, low scrub brush recognizable to someone who’s lived in LA for the past five years. On the bike behind her is a smudge. It could be a cloud of dirt blown into frame or maybe a camera glitch. It could be if it weren’t for the leering face emerging from the cloud right behind her head.

“I just want to say I did not agree to getting her a motorcycle,” Sarah says.

“Mom, not the point,” Katie says.

“Look how close that creep is to my daughter,” Leroy says. He jabs a finger at Katie’s waist in the photo where you can see a ghostly hand. “I want him gone.”

“Dad, he didn’t mean anything by it!” Katie turns to you earnestly. “Terry never rode a bike before and I thought, like, what if he moved on after he got a chance to? It was a philanthropic effort!”

“Plant a tree if you want to be a philanthropist,” Leroy growls. “I want this guy away from my daughter.”

“He doesn’t mean any harm really,” Katie says. “He would move on if he could! He says he’s stuck to me because of how I summoned him. He’s like, really sorry. He even spelled out Sorry in the bathroom mirror once.”

“What,” Sarah says in a dangerous voice, “was Terry doing in the bathroom with you, Katie?”

Katie splutters. “Mom, don’t be gross!”

The family descends into bickering. You have heard about ghosts being stuck to a person before, but usually that’s when the person has some sort of psychic powers. Katie’s wearing crystal in her ears, but they aren’t charged. She might develop some talent later in life, but right now she’s a normal girl.

The parking lost is nearly empty now. You recognize a few employee cars, but very few customers. The kitchen will be cleaning for another half hour before they’re ready to go home. The reality is that, if Terry is stuck, you might not be the best way to handle the situation. If he’s not…

Well.

It’s time to talk to Terry.

Opening your ghost sense is hard to describe. Some psychics liken it to a third eye, right in the middle of their forehead. You’ve always thought that sounded really cool like maybe the world gets cast in a blue hue when they do it and the dead appear like they do in movies. You’ve met other psychics who say it’s like a sixth sense. They know where the ghost is and it’s like they download all that information until their minds can just sort of conjure their image.

For you, it’s like letting your body remember it has a second mouth. Cats have an extra sensory organ on the roof of their mouth that lets them detect scents better. Your second mouth is a bit like that. You can still smell brownies and garlic and the city air of LA, but you can also smell/taste something else.

Something like…pepper?

Your eyes water and you sneeze so viciously that your eyes close. When you open them again, four people are staring at you in surprise.

“Gesundheit,” Leroy says.

“You sneeze like Dad does,” Katie says.

“Did no one ever teach you to cover your mouth?” Sarah asks in disgust.

“I wish you would’ve sneezed on her,” Terry says, nodding to Sarah. “She’s such a bitch.”

“Thank you for the commentary, everyone,” you say. You wipe your nose with the collar of your shirt as you consider Terry. It’s dirty anyway. “Terry. Interesting name for a ghost.”

Terry hasn’t noticed that you can see him yet. He’s floating behind Katie, one arm casually flung over her shoulder. It’s hard to place when he died based on his appearance alone. His hair is chin length, emphasizing the width of his jaw. Squire cuts have been popular for several decades and the bowling shirt he’s wearing could either be a modern fashion statement or a dated uniform. He looks to be in his mid-twenties, sun-kissed and with the air of someone who tells a lot of jokes at the expense of others. His arm around Katie strikes you as possessive, the glare he gives her parents venomous.

“I didn’t name him,” Katie says. “He said it’s short of Torrance.”

You blink. “Wouldn’t he be Torri then?”

“That’s a girl’s name,” Katie and Terry say at the same time. Their cadence is so close that it actually sounds like Terry’s baritone comes out of Katie’s mouth. For a moment, his arm flickers, clipping into her shoulder like a bad animation. When it does, Terry’s form grows brighter, more solid. Then Katie shivers and he’s forced out of her.

You and Terry click your tongues at the same time.

You remember how Katie’s hands seemed to blur at the dinner table. Terry’s not just haunting Katie. He’s trying to possess her. You wonder if that’s why Katie looked up an exorcist rather than a simple spiritual cleansing. Did she know how much danger she was in?

“Okay,” you say. You tear your attention away from Katie and Terry for a moment. Business first. “Sarah. Leroy. Who was it that found my site?”

“I did,” Sarah says. She raises her chin when you can’t hide your surprise. “When Katie was looking up exorcists—”

“She didn’t mean it,” Terry says. He pats Katie’s hat. “Right?”

“—I looked up alternative solutions,” Sarah says, not having heard Terry. Her confidence falters for a moment and she rubs her arm. “I have had some… negative experiences with exorcisms. I don’t want my daughter to go through that.”

Katie’s head whips towards her mother. “What? I didn’t know that.”

“It was a long time ago,” Leroy says. For the first time, he reaches out and hugs Sarah with one arm. You don’t know what surprises you more; Leroy hugging Sarah or Sarah leaning into his side. “When Sarah told me, we decided to put our differences aside. I vetted you through some of my contacts and they all agreed you’d be a safe bet.”

“I am,” you say. You’re not bragging either. You’re probably the safest bet in half the western states besides your older sister. “There are some…peculiarities in my method.”

“Charlatan,” Terry whispers in Katie’s ear. He’s grinning now. “Only charlatans are that confident. Look! She can’t even see me!”

Katie looks doubtful.

Usually, you’d try to talk to Terry at this point. Sometimes spirits can be negotiated with. They can be encouraged to move on or to take on a less aggressive form of haunting. Those that are truly stuck can be helped with the right sort of ritual work. But the way Terry’s affecting Katie’s mood and that fucking arm around her shoulders…

You don’t really want to talk to Terry.

“We can ask Terry to move on,” you tell the family.

“Nooooooo,” Terry says and flips you off. “Pass!”

“Sometimes spirits don’t realize how deeply they’re affecting their hosts,” you say.

“You don’t even know how deep I’m about to be,” Terry jeers at you.

“Many ghosts are confused when they’re called to interact with the living,” you say. “It can blur their understanding of death and, as a result, they cling to life. If they stick around long enough, their presence will affect the living like what’s happening to Katie. It’s not always malicious. It can be a symptom of that confusion.”

“Katie, tell her to piss off,” Terry hisses in the teen’s ear. “I’m not confused, I’m bored.” His voice deepens. “Tell her we don’t need her help. Tell her we’re going home.”

Katie opens her mouth robotically. “That’s…” Her brow creases as she tries to figure out what she was going to say. “It seems like we don’t need help then. Terry will move on when he’s ready, like I thought.”

“We aren’t paying you for a ghost therapy session,” Sarah snaps. It’s only because you’re really focusing that you can see the unease under her anger. She’s noticed something wrong with Katie. “Katie, Terry is going away today.”

“Fuck you,” Terry says.

“Fuck you,” Katie says.

Leroy’s head rears back. “Katie, you don’t use that language with your mother!”

“Fuck you too,” Katie and Terry say. The parking lot lights flicker.

“No, fuck you, Terry,” you say, stepping between Katie and her parents. Leroy starts like he’s going to pull you out of the way, but he doesn’t.

“Terry?” Leroy asks. He looks scared. “Terry said that? Is Terry possessing my daughter?”

“Not yet.” You eye Terry’s arm and the way his fingers are sinking into Katie’s arm.

“Oh fuck,” Terry says. He doesn’t look scared. Not yet. Instead, he grins. “You can see me.”

“Not every ghost is malicious,” you tell the parents without taking your eyes off Terry. “But some are.”

“I’m not malicious.” Terry runs a hand through his hair, still grinning. The parking lot lights flicker overhead again. “I care about Katie a lot.”

“Terry’s never hurt me,” Katie says.

You ignore her. She’s not even shaking Terry off now. Her gaze is dull on your face when you say, “I don’t mean to sound like I’m some sort of ghost therapist. However, it’s important to differentiate between malicious and non-malicious hauntings in my practice. My methods are unconventional and, if used indiscriminately, I can get in a lot of trouble.”

“We won’t tell anyone,” Leroy says. He steps into your periphery. His gaze flicks from you to the spot you’re staring at over Katie’s shoulder. “We want Terry gone.”

“Not a soul,” Sarah promises. She comes up on your other side. “Please help our daughter.”

“Terry,” you say. Your second mouth is yawning wide somewhere in the back of your brain. The taste of pepper isn’t as overwhelming now. “Last chance. Renounce your claim on Katie’s soul and slither back into whatever hole you came out of.”

“We’re soulmates,” Terry says. He bares his teeth at you. “Go on, Charlatan. Call on your God to banish me. I’ve been around for decades and no exorcist has ever been able to put a scratch on me. And when they manage to push me out?” He laughs and the temperature drops another ten degrees. An unholy light flickers in his eyes. “I just come right back.”

“Then I guess I won’t feel guilty,” you say.

“Guilty?” Katie asks.

You walk forward two steps and grab Terry’s face. Terry’s skin is soft and jelly-like. His facial bones undulate like rubber under your grip. “Hi, Terry.”

Now Terry’s afraid. “What the fuck, you can touch—?”

“Bye, Terry.” You drag him towards you. His fingers pop out of Katie’s arm with a wet sucking sound, and he claws at your wrist.

“Wait! Waitwaitwaitwait--”

You eat Terry.

People come from all around to eat at the Brownie Industry. They love the density of the desserts and the heaps of garlic spread over home-baked (shipped frozen) rolls. It’s a treat to know you’re always going to enjoy the meal even if you’re far from home or eating at the same location a hundred times. It’s consistency, sugar and butter. An easy addiction to have.

Eating ghosts is like that for you. They fizz in your second mouth like champagne and melt like fudge. It’s hard to describe and the ephemeral quality of it sends shivers down your spine. Somewhere Terry is screaming in anguish, maybe crying. You think that the family you’re helping is screaming something too, but the sensation of eating is so consuming you can’t hear the words.

Terry is younger than other ghosts you’ve eaten. He doesn’t have the depth of flavor you’d once been addicted to back in Illinois. The best ghost you’ve ever eaten had been like a six-course meal with all the centuries she’d been carrying. In comparison, Terry is like a bag of pepper chips. Interesting, but gone in a moment. Still, he hits the spot.

When you’re done, you burp a purple cloud of ectoplasm into the still night air.

Leroy is the first to speak. His eyes are so wide you can see the whites all around them. “Pay her, Sarah,” he says breathlessly. His hands shake as he reaches for Katie, steadying her on her feet. “Now.”

You smack your lips and graciously accept the wad of cash Sarah hands you. You raise your eyebrows. “This is more than three times my rate.”

“Consider it a tip,” Sarah says. She’s more composed than Leroy, but still pale. She studies you. “That was…revolting.”

“You didn’t have to watch,” you say. You put your money away and then perk up at a sudden thought. “Hey, if you can, can you leave me a review on my site?”

“I thought you didn’t want us to tell anyone?”

You wave your hand. “Secrets are bad for business. Besides, Terry deserved it. I’m sure they’ll understand if you write that in your review.”

“They…?”

You smile and don’t answer.

The family don’t ask many more questions after that. The parents promise to leave a review and Katie just stares at you as if concussed. You assure the parents that she’ll be back to normal as soon as the soul-shock wears off.

“And if it doesn’t?” Sarah asks.

“Message me,” you say.

“You don’t check your messages,” Leroy says.

“Oh,” you say, patting your stomach, “I’ll be checking them a lot more often now.”

You’re hungry again.

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(Patreon)

#my writing #ghosts #second person #it's spooky season #long post

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dead-end-draws · 10 months ago

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WOF tribe Merchant/Trading booth concepts:

Hey folks! This one was the recent winner of this WOF poll, so here’s my concept art that headcannons trading in Pyrrhia.

Read below cut for close-ups of the individual booths + the thought process / headcannons behind the design choices: 👇

Skywings: The Sky Kingdom’s mountain ranges provide plenty of pasture for raising sheep. As such, Skywing shepherds benefit from traveling to sell their wool, dyes, fabric, and woven tapestries. Many of these merchant tables also include herbs grown exclusively in the mountains, or ibex drinking horns that can be strapped on a dragon’s shoulder & carried in flight.

Along with goods, Skywing merchants may offer sewing services to fix tears, burn marks, or other fabric damage. They are sought out for their quality clothing, and most fabric across Pyrria originated from a Skywing’s talons.

Mudwings: Mudwings’ abundant food & cooking skills are envied almost anywhere in Pyrrhia. Their swamps have fertile soil, responsible for hosting diverse crops which can be purchased as produce at merchant stalls. For those lucky enough to find a traveling Mudwing merchant, the promise of a delicious dish can be whipped up and served at the stall in no time. Along with produce goods, Mudwings sell weaved baskets, spices, and cooking ware.

Sandwings: Sandwing booths offer luxuries of the desert: It’s most common to find accessories such as gold carved jewelry or musical instruments such as drums, lyres, & mandolins for sale. Though, even more sought out across Pyrrhia is Sandwing tattoos/piercings, which are done within the merchant areas. Ink etchings on papyrus paper are stationed outside their tents to showcase designs. All which can be selected, and poked into the skin with a tapping stick and plant dye ink by a trained talon.

Seawings: SeaWings sell a variety of ocean related goods; taking a share in the fish market with Icewings. Outside of food, there are den decorations like driftwood carvings, accessories such as seashell & pearl jewelry, and rope nets weaved by expert Seawing sailors. Some Seawings even sell fishing equipment, canoes, or offer sailor knot tying instructions to curious dragon buyers.

Nightwings: During the war, it was near impossible to find a Nightwing merchant. Most refused to participate in merchant territory, mostly as a way to keep up with their tribe’s mysterious nature.

Though in the more shady, unground parts of the market you can buy from a huge selection of obsidian weaponry, the sharpest in Pyrrhia. No one knew initially how Nightwings smithed so many weapons, or why, until their secret volcano kingdom and the intention to invade the rainforest was discovered. Then forging armor & weapons became clear. Along with a vast armory, for the right price, some Nightwing merchants offer Prophecies & Nightwing Literature (not always guaranteed to always be reliable) and assassin services as well (very reliable).

Rainwings: Though Rainwings haven’t been part of Pyrrhia trading for years, they have a vast hold on dragon medicine. An apothecary of herbs, salves, and remedies are all offered for various ailments due to the rainforest’s abundant resources. Along with medicinal goods, many Rainwings are fruit vendors, promising to any hesitant meat-eating dragons that such an array of flavors isn’t to be missed. Though, their fruit selling pitches often fall flat to most other predominantly meat-eating tribes.

Icewings: Icewings have everything a dragon could need to brace the cold, with a selection of goods only found in the most frigid regions of Pyrrhia. Furs, bone jewelry, and fresh fish (thanks to frost breath) are served on ice. Though Icewings themselves don’t require fur to withstand the cold, it’s considered fashionable and common in upper ranks to wear fur as a status symbol. Since metal is hard to smith without fire & in cold temperatures, fur and bone are more accessible to Icewings for clothing statements.

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cmaidaartworkblog · 3 months ago

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youtube

This video showcases my Blender model of the planet that the Scud aliens call home, the fourth and final world I've mapped out for @jayrockin's "Runaway to the Stars" project. A *lot* of maps were created in service of this final render, and also in service of presenting the special qualities of this planet. I intend to show you as many of these as I can under the cut, and also in subsequent posts focusing on some of the more interstitial, ancillary maps and figures that played a part in producing the primary maps you'll see in this main post.

Before I show the first maps I made for this project, what you see below are the satellite-style maps for the Equinoxes and Solstices, in order of (Northern) Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter, the latter serving as the texture for the Blender object you saw in the video.

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With that matter covered, our next focus is this project's foundation: Geology. While I didn't spin as elaborate a tectonic history for this planet as I did for the Ayrum commission, I did work out as much detail as I could for the more recent geological activity, to set the stage for the elevation data - including a narrower focus on the coastal shallows that host the Scud populations.

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Once I could move on to climate, my first step was finding this planet's relative Insolation, which I managed thanks to @reversedumbrella's code and coaching. With an obliquity of only 16 degrees, this planet's yearly maximum Insolation levels stick close to the equator, compared to pole-to-pole oscillation we see on Earth

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Having a rough sense of where heat would concentrate seasonally and how the landmasses would deflect water in light of the planet's retrograde spin, I was able to set down the bi-annual ocean currents (Northern Summer above and Northern Winter below), then the monthly water temperatures pushed around by said currents, and finally -after factoring in many other considerations- the monthly land temperatures as well (combined in the second gif)

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Next came the seasonal air pressure maps and subsequent wind patterns (my first time creating those from scratch), which later factored into the precipitation maps. The incredible temperatures at the largest continent's interior make a desert of most of it, and the other interiors are fairly dry too, but all that heat on the equatorial ocean generates a *lot* of evaporation which ends up coming down elsewhere.

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With temperatures and precipitation mapped out for each month, I was able to find how the accumulation and melt of ice and snow played out, too. Given such a hot equator it's surprising to see freezing temperatures hold out in some places, but low obliquity and high elevation shield what areas they can, it seems.

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All this monthly data was then painstakingly combined and compared and plugged into equations to produce maps of discrete climate zones, using both the Köppen (left) and Trewartha (right) classification systems. The higher latitudes see some overlap with Earth's conditions, but the Tropics...

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I never really finished the map I wanted to make with my own loosely customized classification system, but I *did* get as far as this breakdown of the areas that sometimes surpass 56.7 degrees Celsius, Earth's record for highest surface temperature ever directly measured. And as you can see, that earthly record is broken by a *significant* fraction of this planet's surface, and far exceeded by the equatorial continent's deep interior

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The final phase of this project dealt with creating satellite maps of this planet's surface (which you saw at the top of this post), which started with a map of dry and submerged substrate, then a density map of the vegetation that sits atop it, then the colors of that vegetation under annual average conditions (demonstrating how they would appear in-person, rather than the area's appearance from orbit), and finally plant colors under seasonal conditions (same conceit as previous). In concert with the seasonal ice and snow maps, it was the four maps in the last sequence which were overlaid on the Substrate map, using the plant density map as raster masks, to produce the final Satellite-Style maps.

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This planet's sophonts being a marine species, it was then worth focusing on the conditions underwater, which included monthly seafloor temperatures (first gif), annual discharge of sediment from rivers (magenta in the 2nd gif), and seasonal upwelling of nutrients from deeper water (blue in the 2nd gif).

The creation of all my maps seen in this post was possible thanks to Photopea, which has been my go-to for several years now. The resolution kinda got crunched when I uploaded these here, so when I share them on Reddit later I'll add those links under this. These have also already been posted on Twitter, which you can see here if you like. Thanks for scrolling all the way down here!

#digital painting #Photopea #digital 3d #Blender #mapmaking #imaginary maps #Runaway to the Stars #Rtts Scuds #speculative planetology #speculative geology #speculative climatology #alien planet #major post #commission #christopher maida artwork #Youtube

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mostlysignssomeportents · 4 months ago

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Prime’s enshittified advertising

Prime's gonna add more ads. They brought in ads in January, and people didn't cancel their Prime subscriptions, so Amazon figures that they can make Prime even worse and make more money:

https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2024/10/amazon-prime-video-is-getting-more-ads-next-year/

The cruelty isn't the point. Money is the point. Every ad that Amazon shows you shifts value away from you – your time, your attention – to the company's shareholders.

That's the crux of enshittification. Companies don't enshittify – making their once-useful products monotonically worse – because it amuses them to erode the quality of their offerings. They enshittify them because their products are zero-sum: the things that make them valuable to you (watching videos without ads) make things less valuable to them (because they can't monetize your attention).

This isn't new. The internet has always been dominated by intermediaries – platforms – because there are lots more people who want to use the internet than are capable of building the internet. There's more people who want to write blogs than can make a blogging app. There's more people who want to play and listen to music than can host a music streaming service. There's more people who want to write and read ebooks than want to operate an ebook store or sell an ebooks reader.

Despite all the early internet rhetoric about the glories of disintermediation, intermediaries are good, actually:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/06/12/direct-the-problem-of-middlemen/

The problem isn't with intermediaries per se. The problem arises when intermediaries grow so powerful that they usurp the relationship between the parties they connect. The problem with Uber isn't the use of mobile phones to tell taxis that you're standing on a street somewhere and would like a cab, please. The problem is rampant worker misclassification, regulatory arbitrage, starvation wages, and price-gouging:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/29/geometry-hates-uber/#toronto-the-gullible

There's no problem with publishers, distributors, retailers, printers, and all the other parts of the bookselling ecosystem. While there are a few, rare authors who are capable of performing all of these functions – basically gnawing their books out of whole logs with their teeth – most writers can't, and even the ones who can, don't want to:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/19/crad-kilodney-was-an-outlier/#intermediation

When early internet boosters spoke of disintermediation, what they mostly meant was that it would be harder for intermediaries to capture those relationships – between sellers and buyers, creators and audiences, workers and customers. As Rebecca Giblin and I wrote in our 2022 book Chokepoint Capitalism, intermediaries in every sector rely on chokepoints, narrows where they can erect tollbooths:

https://chokepointcapitalism.com/

When chokepoints exist, they multiply up and down the supply chain. In the golden age of physical, recorded music, you had several chokepoints that reinforced one another. Limited radio airwaves gave radio stations power over record labels, who had to secretly, illegally bid for prime airspace ("payola"). Retail consolidation – the growth of big record chains – drove consolidation in the distributors who sold to the chains, and the more concentrated distributors became, the more they could squeeze retailers, which drove even more consolidation in record stores. The bigger a label was, the more power it had to shove back against the muscle of the stores and the distributors (and the pressing plants, etc). Consolidation in labels also drove consolidation in talent agencies, whose large client rosters gave them power to resist the squeeze from the labels. Consolidation in venues drives consolidation in ticketing and promotion – and vice-versa.

But there's two parties to this supply chain who can't consolidate: musicians and their fans. With limits on "sectoral bargaining" (where unions can represent workers against all the companies in a sector), musicians' unions were limited in their power against key parts of the supply chain, so the creative workers who made the music were easy pickings for labels, talent reps, promoters, ticketers, venues, retailers, etc. Music fans are diffused and dispersed, and organized fan clubs were usually run by the labels, who weren't about to allow those clubs to be used against the labels.

This is a perfect case-study in the problems of powerful intermediaries, who move from facilitator to parasite, paying workers less while degrading their products, and then charge customers more for those enshittified products.

The excitement about "disintermediation" wasn't so much about eliminating intermediaries as it was about disciplining them. If there were lots of ways to market a product or service, sell it, collect payment for it, and deliver it, then the natural inclination of intermediaries to turn predator would be curbed by the difficulty of corralling their prey into chokepoints.

Now that we're a quarter century on from the Napster Wars, we can see how that worked out. Decades of failure to enforce antitrust law allowed a few companies to effectively capture the internet, buying out rivals who were willing to sell, and bankrupting those who wouldn't with illegal tactics like predatory pricing (think of Uber losing $31 billion by subsidizing $0.41 out of every dollar they charged for taxi rides for more than a decade).

The market power that platforms gained through consolidation translated into political power. When a few companies dominate a sector, they're able to come to agreement on common strategies for dealing with their regulators, and they've got plenty of excess profits to spend on those strategies. First and foremost, platforms used their power to get more power, lobbying for even less antitrust enforcement. Additionally, platforms mobilized gigantic sums to secure the right to screw customers (for example, by making binding arbitration clauses in terms of service enforceable) and workers (think of the $225m Uber and Lyft spent on California's Prop 22, which formalized their worker misclassification swindle).

So big platforms were able to insulate themselves from the risk of competition ("five giant websites, filled with screenshots of the other four" – Tom Eastman), and from regulation. They were also able to expand and mobilize IP law to prevent anyone from breaking their chokepoints or undoing the abuses that these enabled. This is a good place to get specific about how Prime Video works.

There's two ways to get Prime videos: over an app, or in your browser. Both of these streams are encrypted, and that's really important here, because of a law – Section 1201 of the 1998 Digital Millennium Copyright Act – which makes it really illegal to break this kind of encryption (commonly called "Digital Rights Management" or "DRM"). Practically speaking, that means that if a company encrypts its videos, no one is allowed to do anything to those videos, even things that are legal, without the company's permission, because doing all those legal things requires breaking the DRM, and breaking the DRM is a felony (five years in prison, $500k fine, for a first offense).

Copyright law actually gives subscribers to services like Prime a lot of rights, and it empowers businesses that offer tools to exercise those rights. Back in 1976, Sony rolled out the Betamax, the first major home video recorder. After an eight-year court battle, the Supreme Court weighed in on VCRs and ruled that it was legal for all of us to record videos at home, both to watch them later, and to build a library of our favorite shows. They also ruled that it was legal for Sony – and by that time, every other electronics company – to make VHS systems, even if those systems could be used in ways that violated copyright because they were "capable of sustaining a substantial non-infringing use" (letting you tape shows off your TV).

Now, this was more than a decade before the DMCA – and its prohibition on breaking DRM – passed, but even after the DMCA came into effect, there was a lot of media that didn't have DRM, so a new generation of tech companies were able to make tools that were "capable of sustaining a substantial non-infringing use" and that didn't have to break any DRM to do it.

Think of the Ipod and Itunes, which, together, were sold as a way to rip CDs (which weren't encrypted), and play them back from both your desktop computer and a wildly successful pocket-sized portable device. Itunes even let you stream from one computer to another. The record industry hated this, but they couldn't do anything about it, thanks to the Supreme Court's Betamax ruling.

Indeed, they eventually swallowed their bile and started selling their products through the Itunes Music Store. These tracks had DRM and were thus permanently locked to Apple's ecosystem, and Apple immediately used that power to squeeze the labels, who decided they didn't like DRM after all, and licensed all those same tracks to Amazon's DRM-free MP3 store, whose slogan was "DRM: Don't Restrict Me":

https://memex.craphound.com/2008/02/01/amazons-anti-drm-tee/

Apple played a funny double role here. In marketing Itunes/Ipods ("Rip, Mix, Burn"), they were the world's biggest cheerleaders for all the things you were allowed to do with copyrighted works, even when the copyright holder objected. But with the Itunes Music Store and its mandatory DRM, the company was also one of the world's biggest cheerleaders for wrapping copyrighted works in a thin skin of IP that would allow copyright holders to shut down products like the Ipod and Itunes.

Microsoft, predictably enough, focused on the "lock everything to our platform" strategy. Then-CEO Steve Ballmer went on record calling every Ipod owner a "thief" and arguing that every record company should wrap music in Microsoft's Zune DRM, which would allow them to restrict anything they didn't like, even if copyright allowed it (and would also give Microsoft the same abusive leverage over labels that they famously exercised over Windows software companies):

https://web.archive.org/web/20050113051129/http://management.silicon.com/itpro/0,39024675,39124642,00.htm

In the end, Amazon's approach won. Apple dropped DRM, and Microsoft retired the Zune and shut down its DRM servers, screwing anyone who'd ever bought a Zune track by rendering that music permanently unplayable.

Around the same time as all this was going on, another company was making history by making uses of copyrighted works that the law allowed, but which the copyright holders hated. That company was Tivo, who products did for personal video recorders (PVRs) what Apple's Ipod did for digital portable music players. With a Tivo, you could record any show over cable (which was too expensive and complicated to encrypt) and terrestrial broadcast (which is illegal to encrypt, since those are the public's airwaves, on loan to the TV stations).

That meant that you could record any show, and keep it forever. What's more, you could very easily skip through ads (and rival players quickly emerged that did automatic ad-skipping). All of this was legal, but of course the cable companies and broadcasters hated it. Like Ballmer, TV execs called Tivo owners "thieves."

But Tivo didn't usher in the ad-supported TV apocalypse that furious, spittle-flecked industry reps insisted it would. Rather, it disciplined the TV and cable operators. Tivo owners actually sought out ads that were funny and well-made enough to go viral. Meanwhile, every time the industry decided to increase the amount of advertising in a show, they also increased the likelihood that their viewers would seek out a Tivo, or worse, one of those auto-ad-skipping PVRs.

Given all the stink that TV execs raised over PVRs, you'd think that these represented a novel threat. But in fact, the TV industry's appetite for ads had been disciplined by viewers' access to new technology since 1956, when the first TV remotes appeared on the market (executives declared that anyone who changed the channel during an ad-break was a thief). Then came the mute button. Then the wireless remote. Meanwhile, a common VCR use-case – raised in the Supreme Court case – was fast-forwarding ads.

At each stage, TV adapted. Ads in TV shows represented a kind of offer: "Will you watch this many of these ads in return for a free TV show?" And the remote, the mute button, the wireless remote, the VCR, the PVR, and the ad-skipping PVR all represented a counter-offer. As economists would put it, the ability of viewers to make these counteroffers "shifted the equilibrium." If viewers had no defensive technology, they might tolerate more ads, but once they were able to enforce their preferences with technology, the industry couldn't enshittify its product to the liminal cusp of "so many ads that the viewer is right on the brink of turning off the TV (but not quite)."

This is the same equilibrium-shifting dynamic that we see on the open web, where more than 50% of users have installed an ad-blocker. The industry says, "Will you allow this many 'sign up to our mailing list' interrupters, pop ups, pop unders, autoplaying videos and other stuff that users hate but shareholders benefit from" and the ad-blocker makes a counteroffer: "How about 'nah?'":

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/07/adblocking-how-about-nah

TV remotes, PVRs and ad-blockers are all examples of "adversarial interoperability" – a new product that plugs into an existing one, extending or modifying its functions without permission from (or even over the objections of) the original manufacturer:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/10/adversarial-interoperability

Adversarial interop creates a powerful disciplining force on platform owners. Once a user grows so frustrated with a product's enshittification that they research, seek out, acquire and learn to use an adversarial interop tool, it's really game over. The printer owner who figures out where to get third-party ink is gone forever. Every time a company like HP raises its prices, they have to account for the number of customers who will finally figure out how to use generic ink and never, ever send another cent to HP.

This is where DMCA 1201 comes into play. Once a product is skinned with DRM, its manufacturers gain the right to prevent you from doing legal things, and can use the public's courts and law-enforcement apparatus to punish you for trying. Take HP: as soon as they started adding DRM to their cartridges, they gained the legal power to shut down companies that cloned, refilled or remanufactured their cartridges, and started raising the price of ink – which today sits at more than $10,000/gallon:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/09/30/life-finds-a-way/#ink-stained-wretches

Using third party ink in your printer isn't illegal (it's your printer, right?). But making third party ink for your printer becomes illegal once you have to break DRM to do so, and so HP gets to transform tinted water into literally the most expensive fluid on Earth. The ink you use to print your kid's homework costs more than vintage Veuve Cliquot or sperm from a Kentucky Derby-winning thoroughbred.

Adversarial interoperability is a powerful tool for shifting the equilibrium between producers, intermediaries and buyers. DRM is an even more powerful way of wrenching that equilibrium back towards the intermediary, reducing the share that buyers and sellers are able to eke out of the transaction.

Prime Video, of course, is delivered via an app, which means it has DRM. That means that subscribers don't get to exercise the rights afforded to them by copyright – only the rights that Amazon permits them to have. There's no Tivo for Prime, because it would have to break the DRM to record the shows you stream from Prime. That allows Prime to pull all kinds of shady shit. For example, every year around this time, Amazon pulls popular Christmas movies from its free-to-watch tier and moves them into pay-per-view, only restoring them in the spring:

https://www.reddit.com/r/vudu/comments/1bpzanx/looks_like_amazon_removed_the_free_titles_from/

And of course, Prime sticks ads in its videos. You can't skip these ads – not because it's technically challenging to make a 30-second advance button for a video stream, and doing so wouldn't violate anyone's copyright – but because Amazon doesn't permit you to do so, and the fact that the video is wrapped in DRM makes it a felony to even try.

This means that Amazon gets to seek a different equilibrium than TV companies have had to accept since 1956 and the invention of the TV remote. Amazon doesn't have to limit the quantity, volume, and invasiveness of its ads to "less the amount that would drive our subscribers to install and use an ad-skipping plugin." Instead, they can shoot for the much more lucrative equilibrium of "so obnoxious that the viewer is almost ready to cancel their subscription (but not quite)."

That's pretty much exactly how Kelly Day, the Amazon exec in charge of Prime Video, put it to the Financial Times: they're increasing the number of ads because "we haven’t really seen a groundswell of people churning out or cancelling":

https://www.ft.com/content/f8112991-820c-4e09-bcf4-23b5e0f190a5

At this point, attentive readers might be asking themselves, "Doesn't Amazon have to worry about Prime viewers who watch in their browsers?" After all browsers are built on open standards, and anyone can make one, so there should be browsers that can auto-skip Prime ads, right?

Wrong, alas. Back in 2017, the W3C – the organization that makes the most important browser standards – caved to pressure from the entertainment industry and the largest browser companies and created "Encrypted Media Extensions" (EME), a "standard" for video DRM that blocks all adversarial interoperability:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2017/09/open-letter-w3c-director-ceo-team-and-membership

This had the almost immediate effect of making it impossible to create an independent browser without licensing proprietary tech from Google – now a convicted monopolist! – who won't give you a license if you implement recording, ad-skipping, or any other legal (but dispreferred) feature:

https://blog.samuelmaddock.com/posts/the-end-of-indie-web-browsers/

This means that for Amazon, there's no way to shift value away from the platform to you. The company has locked you in, and has locked out anyone who might offer you a better deal. Companies that know you are technologically defenseless are endlessly inventive in finding ways to make things worse for you to make things better for them. Take Youtube, another DRM-video-serving platform that has jacked up the number of ads you have to sit through in order to watch a video – even as they slash payments to performers. They've got a new move: they're gonna start showing you ads while your video is paused:

https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2024/09/20/youtube-pause-ads-rollout/75306204007/

That is the kind of fuckery you only come up with when your victory condition is "a service that's almost so bad our customers quit (but not quite)."

In Amazon's case, the math is even worse. After all, Youtube may have near-total market dominance over a certain segment of the video market, but Prime Video is bundled with Prime Delivery, which the vast majority of US households subscribe to. You have to give up a lot to cancel your Prime subscription – especially since Amazon's predatory pricing devastated the rest of the retail sector:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/28/enshittification/#relentless-payola

Amazon's founding principle was "customer obsession." Ex-Amazoners tell me that this was more than an empty platitude: arguments over product design were won or lost based on whether they could satisfy the "customer obsession" litmus test. Now, everyone falls short of their ideals, but sticking to your ideals isn't merely a matter of internal discipline, of willpower. Living up to your ideals is a matter of external discipline, too. When Amazon no longer had to contend with competitors or regulators, when it was able to use DRM to control its customers and use the law to prevent them from using its products in legal ways, it lost those external sources of discipline.

Amazon suppliers have long complained of the company's high-handed treatment of the vendors who supplied it with goods. Its workers have complained bitterly and loudly about the dangerous and oppressive conditions in its warehouses and delivery vans. But Amazon's customers have consistently given Amazon high marks on quality and trustworthiness.

The reason Amazon treated its workers and suppliers badly and its customers well wasn't that it liked customers and hated workers and suppliers. Amazon was engaged in a cold-blooded calculus: it understood that treating customers well would give it control over those customers, and that this would translate market power to retain suppliers even as it ripped them off and screwed them over.

But now, Amazon has clearly concluded that it no longer needs to keep customers happy in order to retain them. Instead, it's shooting for "keeping customers so angry that they're almost ready to take their business elsewhere (but not quite)." You see this in the steady decline of Amazon product search, which preferences the products that pay the biggest bribes for search placement over the best matches:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/06/attention-rents/#consumer-welfare-queens

And you see it in the steady enshittification of Prime Video. Amazon's character never changed. The company always had a predatory side. But now that monopoly and IP law have insulated it from consequences for its actions, there's no longer any reason to keep the predator in check.

Tor Books as just published two new, free LITTLE BROTHER stories: VIGILANT, about creepy surveillance in distance education; and SPILL, about oil pipelines and indigenous landback.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/03/mother-may-i/#minmax

#pluralistic #amazon #enshittification #ads #prime #ad-tech #discipline

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vizjpmdose · 4 months ago

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୨ৎ ──── jpm's entry in the 5 love languages. ────

⭑.ᐟ warnings : possessiveness, mention of murder

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖ a/n: : first time posting stuffs like this and this is a long one! | these are his greenflag versions (this has been in my draft for an eternity) English is not my first language so I apologize if you spot any grammatical errors that I'm not aware of.

JPM x wife fem!reader.

PHYSICAL TOUCH

for him, physical touch is his way to remind ownership but also genuine devotion to his lover.

for example, if someone is trying to flirt with you he'd suddenly just appear behind you and suddenly pulling you close to him by grabbing your waist softly in front of that person.

"darling, who's he?" he spoke with a forced smile, glancing at you and the man while he gives your waist a soft squeeze as he shows ownership.

can be a PDA king

with showing devotion, physical touch is his way to remind you of how important you are to him

keeping a hand on the small of your back while walking around in the hotel

loves to trace your facial features/body

imagine having a talk with him while just relaxing in bed, he listens to whatever you're saying while he traces a part of your body (waist, arm, legs) or facial features (jawline, lips, cheekbone)

he could be doing it while making eye contact with you while you're speaking or his eyes could be at your body part/facial feature that he's tracing while you speak.

it gives you extreme butterflies specially that he's humming in response from time to time while busy tracing your body with his fingers.

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION:

this man has a very wide vocabulary, he's a master with his words.

he's the best in wooing using his words that he's sure of being very effective on you.

he actually doesn't excel in comforting with words:(

But worry not! He's good in encouraging you with words.

"you, my dear is the best. You don't have to stress about it just to prove it to me, because I knew ever since the day I saw you that you're going to be the perfect lady of the Cortez."

Very resourceful with his words, very witty.

you'd receive appreciation phrases that are very high standard coded

FLIRTS VERY GENTLEMANLY!

"Such a sight for sore eyes. Surely, my favorite sight for tonight."

he loves the reaction he gets from you with when he flirts with you using fancy idioms.

He actually could write poem/poetries and it would be all about you.

loves to brag about you, he brags about you to other people even though you're not around. He loves to publicly speak about you and your relationship with him.

QUALITY TIME:

this man is a sucker for attention.

he prefers spending quality time with you by having a conversation during a fancy dinner or having a conversation while drinking or smoking together.

would literally host a dinner nightly if you'd agree.

Loves to play cards with you every night before going to sleep

There's a lot of secrets in the Cortez that no one knows but him. If you're a curious one, he'd find joy to walk you around the Cortez, telling you facts about every area that you both visit.

"This feels like a museum date, right darling?"

In a conversation, he's always the talker but loves to be a listener when it comes to you so that he can spend more time with you while having a conversation.

He loves taking you to the grand empty ballroom of the Cortez for slow and elegant dances with him when you both are feeling elegantly romantic. He would put on a vintage jazz or classical music record.

If you're an adventurous type just like him, he'd be so so happy to go on a killing spree with you. He’d admire that about you, pushing you to be bolder, more daring, much like he did in his own life. Times like these would be his core memories with you.

ACT OF SERVICE:

This man is the number 1 real gentleman and that's for you only.

Yes, let's say he uses his gentleman side to lure his victims in but that gentleman side is fake. He'd only be a real gentleman when it's for you.

He opens doors for you and pulls out chairs for you

He makes sure he attends your needs before you can even ask.

He's highly observant/highly perceptive, he does everything you need or want before you even voice them.

"I will give perfection to such a perfect person like you, my love." What can I say? This man is such a simp.

When you have any problems, he'd do anything to help you with it or he'll be the one to fix it for you.

He's always mindful for your physical comfort, he'd always make sure that his staffs are giving you what you want and what you need if he's not around, and whatever that makes you feel pampered.

He gets mad at his staffs when you have any complains or when he observes that you're not feeling comfortable enough.

With protecting you from harm in the Cortez, He would use his power and influence to keep you safe from the dangers.

If one of the ghosts in the Cortez dares to disrespect you or interact with you in a way that you or he doesn't approve of.. James would swiftly and ruthlessly handle the situation.

GIFT GIVING:

No. 1 sugar daddy material

When you get upset and doesn't know how to comfort you, he'd shower you with expensive jewelries and stuffs that he knows that you like.

Everything he gifts you will be expensive, this man values good quality all of the time

He sends Liz to the outside world to buy these gifts he'll give to you.

"If I were just allowed to leave the hotel I wouldn't hesitate to go out alone to buy you these lavish things myself, a high quality man like me knows a lot about high quality things that deserves to be in my queen's grasp."

Expect gifts on random days because anytime he'd think of an item that he thinks you would like, he'd action on getting it immediately.

He lives for your reactions, praises, and compliments when he surprises you with gifts.

#finally my drafts can breathe now #james patrick march #james march #evan peters #american horror story #ahs #ahs hotel #ahs fandom #headcanon #james patrick march x reader #james patrick march x you #james march x reader #james march x you #james march imagine #evan peters x reader #evan peters x you

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nyancrimew · 2 months ago

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forgive me if this is a stupid question but what email host should i use if i can't run a locally hosted email server

personally im using migadu and i quite like them and they have fantastic pricing for the service quality they provide

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mushroomates · 6 months ago

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the fellowship grocery shopping (modern au!):

frodo: has a list which he always loses halfway through shopping. tries to bring his own bags but they’re never enough, or he forgets them in the car and realizes mid checkout. does not like a lot of the name brand foods, goes for the knock offs- partly because he thinks they taste better and partly because he’s rooting for the underdog. (also they’re cheaper which means more money go towards buying treats for the neighborhood cats.) makes an exception for name brand strawberry poptarts, a pippin favorite. keeps his fridge stocked with snacks for his friends.

sam: grows a lot of his own produce and makes an effort to shop local. has his own chickens and a thriving herb garden. he often trades with neighbors-tomatoes for honey, basil for goats milk, etc. once a month he teams up with boromir and goes to costco for insane amounts of flour (he bakes his own bread) and a foot long hotdog. sam refuses to get his own membership.

merry: has a list of things to get that he has worked very hard to compile. this list stays on fridge, and whenever he runs out of something he adds it. this is always sabotaged by pippin who, in a port attempt to mimic merry’s handwriting, adds a copious amount of sweets and things only pippin likes. ends up buying them anyways only to not share with him- will gloat by snacking in front of pippin and not offering any to his cousin.

pippin: does not actually grocery shop. yes, he has food in his house but this is more because he just tags along whenever someone else is going. selectively copies whatever they get into his own basket. has eight jars of peanut butter because he loves peanut butter but does not consume it at the rate he believes he does. also for backup, incase he runs out mid sandwich and needs eight jars of the stuff. loves to ride in the shopping carts when no one’s watching. definitely scooters along isles. loves to hijack boromir’s shopping trips as boromir is the only one who will push him in the cart and give him a lil treat at the end.

gandalf: kind of just. wanders around the store. gets lost in the bakery. buys the most random things, causing the clerks to conspire about what he’s doing with two packs of rubber gloves, a rosterseie chicken, and a tub of mayonnaise. is he a murderer? a professor? a single mother? what is he doing with this stuff?

aragorn: does a lot of trading with neighbors, like sam. likes to accompany arwen on errands and do the little things. she points at an item and he puts it in the basket. he bags at checkout. drives her home. unloads the car and put it away. real quality time and acts of service. yes, arwen is capable of doing these things herself, but he likes to do it for her: hunts so be always has a surplus of jerky, does need to buy more salt then the typical person.

boromir: also hunts. has a thing about using every part of the animal, will eat bone marrow straight out of the femur with a spoon for breakfast. eats a lot of protein. is real big about no food waste and will use everything he can. has his own compost bin and a humble herb garden. likes hosting barbecues for everyone, and makes the burgers and hotdogs from scratch. every other tuesday is grocery day. he goes to costco and buys his things in bulk. he’s the only one in the fellowship with a costco card and everyone loves to take advantage of it.

legolas: mainly just happens upon farmers markets and grabs what appeals to him in the moment. does not have any seasonings or cooking oil as it’s not something that’s ever really occurred to him to buy. will forget he has food in his fridge for weeks and when he finally does it’s gone bad. this, however, does not stop him from eating it. makes a lot of smoothies.

gimli: has a lot of preserved foods and a cupboard dedicated to emergencies. owns a lot of canned beans, fruits and vegetables- anything that will keep well. has a freezer filled with food in his garage with backup stock. is a very good with coupons- pippin likes going with him just to see the total (and the clerks jaw) drop. eats a lot of trail mix and jerky. enjoys fresh fruit when he can but doesn’t like to buy it because it doesn’t last.

gollum: sneaky little man. he hides in the bottom part of the carts meant for heavy items and parties his way across the store with his hands, scooting along tile and grabbing anything with reach, tossing it back up to the cart and continuing on his journey. then he just rolls right out the door. no one can stop him.

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sirfrogsworth · 1 year ago

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I'm not upset that blu-rays are being phased out. Formats all become obsolete and then die out.

My worry is there is not an adequate replacement for physical media. If you stream a 4K movie, it is usually over compressed and has a lossy audio track. Usually the quality *improves* when you move on to the next thing. But in this case, only the convenience is improved.

And there is no way to truly own the media you buy online. Even on Amazon when you "buy" something, that just means you have indefinite access to the file on their server. But if they lose the rights to that content or decide to delete it for tax purposes, you lose it too.

There is a service called Kaleidescape. It allows you to download blu-ray quality movie files onto local storage. Unfortunately the service has way too many caveats. You can only play the movies on their proprietary equipment. If they go out of business you will lose all of your movie purchases. And while they have a lot of mainstream, big budget movies, their selection is far from vast.

Oh, and their hardware starts at $8,000 and each movie is between $10 and $30 to purchase. And if you want to save more than 125 movies, the cost balloons to nearly $20K for the hardware.

The quality issue will eventually solve itself. New codecs like AV1 and H.266 will allow files to be compressed without losing any quality.

But I have no idea what to do about being unable to truly own your media. No studio will agree to DRM-free downloads that you can store anywhere and play with any device.

Maybe they can create a system where you can register any device you own and be allowed to play the file on those registered devices. So you get a file you can download, but the DRM requires verification you own the device it is being played on.

Perhaps they could designate a few cloud storage services as approved download platforms. You are free to shift your media from cloud to cloud, but it must always stay on the cloud and be registered to you. That way if a cloud storage company bites the dust, you still have the option to move your media to another place.

It's not as good as DRM-free local storage, but I don't see studios agreeing to anything else.

In truth, people are probably never going to buy movies in the future. If you have the option to rent for $3 or buy for $20, people probably aren't going to see the value in spending that much to own a movie.

Maybe the solution lies in some kind of law. If a platform no longer wishes to host a show or movie and they can't sell it to another streaming service, then they must give up the rights and allow the Library of Congress to save and distribute it.

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queenofthearchipelago · 10 months ago

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Long Rant about the Watcher Thing

The thing about what's happening with Watcher is that I'm a musician. I understand deeply the difficulties that come with an artist making their art and needing money and the relationship with the people that art is for. So I understand that Watcher needs money to pay their employees and maintain their business.

That said, they revealed that they have 25 employees (half of which are nepotism hires and friends from BuzzFeed) and that one episode of Ghost Files costs "hundreds of thousands of dollars." (Ghost Files being their most expensive show by bar, not their average spending habits per Watcher episode)

I understand from a few people I've seen who are in their Patreon that they make at least 100k per month from the patreon. And then there's the money they get from youtube itself from the views. And then there's the money they get from the ads.

Now I understand that Ryan said this decision came down to primarily 2 things: the ad companies were making them feel stifled with what they could do (which they don't explain how), and they want more money to be able to keep up a higher production quality.

I'm going to skip past the thing about the ads. They never specified how the ad companies were making them change their content in a way that made them feel unsatisfied. I can't speak or provide any opinions on why they want so badly to escape needing ad deals.

But I can talk about the higher production quality they speak of and that's specifically because Ryan said that they wanted to pay for a higher production quality FOR US. "For you guys."

We... we didn't ask for higher production. This is NOT a decision they need to make on our account. I understand and respect if they aren't creating on they level they want. But it's odd that they're speaking towards not being able to afford their current spending habits, as if this is something we asked them to do.

I've read a lot of comments about this and I agree with a lot of you that it's odd that this decision to switch to streaming coincides with the return of Worth It, a show that when produced by Steven, seems like it could easily cost just as much as Ghost Files to produce.

I understand why it feels like this is all Steven's fault. His vibes in the video today, compared to Ryan and Shane, made it seem like he was the most excited about it. It's Steven that has been highlighted multiple times as the business man, the one who makes the financial decisions. It's Steven's shows on Watcher that get canceled after one or two seasons, meanwhile Ryan and Shane's shows just keep going to 5 seasons and beyond.

Shane even said it explicitly, that there are "shows that didn't do as well on youtube, that might do better on a streaming service."

But most of the fans DO watch Watcher for Ryan and Shane, they always have. Steven's shows don't do as well. When Watcher brings in a new host and makes a new show for them, those shows do even worse.

I know this upsets Ryan, he's been very vocal about wanting Watcher to expand beyond himself and Shane. He wants his company to be successful regardless of whether he's in front of the camera or not.

But I feel like this step is trying to force it. Right now, this is still Ryan and Shane's channel. This is why we're here. The people haven't latched onto Steven as much, and the attempts to bring in new hosts have been unsuccessful.

There are lots of comments floating around about why Watcher didn't do what Rhett and Link did and open up youtube membership. Or why didn't they host more live events. Or why didn't they do more livestreams. These all could have been fantastic ideas that wouldn't betray the fans.

Because I do think they forgot that their fanbase is largely women in their 20s. People are right in bringing up the cost of living crisis, in bringing up how many subscription services we're already subscribed to. And my heart goes out to the international viewers who can't access the website at all in their country and the ones who can't afford it because Watcher forgot to consider the currency difference.

I feel that they have betrayed their fanbase. I remember when Watcher started and Ryan admitted he was scared no one would watch. And then we showed up for them because we loved them and what they did.

But now most of the fans can't or won't follow them where they're going. And I think Ryan might know this too from the way he said If this is goodbye, it's been fun.

I wish they would have tried other things before hard launching a streaming service. I wish they would have had a long game plan to get to the place they wanted to be as a company and as creatives.

I feel betrayed but I also don't want this company going bankrupt. If they go bankrupt, then we truly have lost them forever. I hope they take a look at the overwhelming backlash, at their falling subscriber numbers, and I hope they reconsider doing this.

#just a rant of my thoughts right now #watcher #steven lim #ryan bergara #shane medej #thoughtsfromthequeen

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astroismypassion · 7 months ago

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✨PART OF FORTUNE IN SIGNS AND HOUSES SERIES: 5TH HOUSE✨

Credit goes to astrology blog @astroismypassion

ARIES PART OF FORTUNE IN THE 5TH HOUSE

You feel the most abundant when you have Aries and Leo Sun people in your life. You could make money via attending sport events, competitions, through creative pursuits and creative self-expression. You may also earn money with your personality, you are very lively and animated, so people love to watch you and know what you are up to. You feel the most abundant when you discover new hobbies, develop a new fresh start (or crush haha), when you have more spare time and when you educate yourself in a new topic.

TAURUS PART OF FORTUNE IN THE 5TH HOUSE

You feel the most abundant when you have Taurus and Leo Sun people in your life. You could make money via event planning, organising, hosting, party planning or catering, preparing snacks, meals for gatherings. You may also feel the wealthiest when you have financial stability, quality food in your fridge and when you have stable romantic life. You feel most abundant when you treat yourself!

GEMINI PART OF FORTUNE IN THE 5TH HOUSE

You feel the most abundant when you have Gemini and Leo Sun people in your life. You could make money via being a social media strategist, managing social media for businesses or individuals. You may find wealth through being a motivational speaker, event host or webinar presenter (SpeakerHub).

CANCER PART OF FORTUNE IN THE 5TH HOUSE

You feel the most abundant when you have Cancer and Leo Sun people in your life. You could make money via hosting events, gatherings at your home. You can help others with making their space more comfortable and stylish. Maybe even therapy, counseling, holistic healing or wellness coaching. You may also find wealth in wedding planning, creating content about home, family and emotional well-being profitable. Investment in creative ventures comes to mind with this placements, such as investing in art, theater productions.

LEO PART OF FORTUNE IN THE 5TH HOUSE

You feel the most abundant when you have Leo Sun people in your life. You could make money via motivational speaking, social media influencing, podcasting which can leverage your ability to captivate an audience. You may also be abundant in fitness training, managing sports teams, directing, producing or talent management. You feel abundant when you can use your creative vision and when you are being appreciated for it.

VIRGO PART OF FORTUNE IN THE 5TH HOUSE

You feel the most abundant when you have Pisces and Cancer Sun people in your life. You could make money via content creation, copywriting, tehnical writing, editing manuscripts, personal training, yoga instruction, wellness coaching, jewelry making, pottery, party organizing, wedding coordination, event planning. You can find satisfaction and financial reward in childcare, early childhood education or running educational programs, managing administrative tasks for clients.

LIBRA PART OF FORTUNE IN THE 5TH HOUSE

You feel the most abundant when you have Libra and Leo Sun people in your life. You could make money via matchmaking services, relationship coaching, writing romance novels, creating children's content (books, shows, games for children). You could find abundance in public relations, human resources or via a role in non-profits and community organizations. Working with high-end luxury goods. You may find wealth in teaching, workshops or mentorship programs. You can also do creative writing, whether it's novels, screenplays or content creation for media.

SCORPIO PART OF FORTUNE IN THE 5TH HOUSE

You feel the most abundant when you have Scorpio and Leo Sun people in your life. You could make money via painting, sculpting, writing, filmmaking, music, psychology, counseling, therapy, alternative medicine, energy healing, working as a physical or occupational therapist. Since it's the sig nof Scorpio sex therapy, intimacy coaching or writing about sexual health can be rewarding. You can find abundance in child psychology, working with troubled youth or creating transformative educational content.

SAGITTARIUS PART OF FORTUNE IN THE 5TH HOUSE

You feel the most abundant when you have Sagittarius and Leo Sun people in your life. You could make money via acting, performing, hosting travel and adventure shows, sports, coaching, recreational activities. You could find abundance in planning events, such as cultural festivals, adventure trips, educational seminars, writing a book, creating a documentary or working in the broadcast media.

CAPRICORN PART OF FORTUNE IN THE 5TH HOUSE

You feel the most abundant when you have Capricorn and Leo Sun people in your life. You could make money via leadership in creative fields (managing a theater company, leading a marketing team or directing artistic projects, industrial design, graphic design or non-fiction, self-help, educational content. You find abundant when you are working on a productive, pragmatic project in your free time.

AQUARIUS PART OF FORTUNE IN THE 5TH HOUSE

You feel the most abundant when you have Aquarius and Leo Sun people in your life. You could make money via avant-garde art, experimental music, cutting-edge design, digital media, software development, game design, creatine innovative apps and tech solutions, creating awarenss campaigns, producing media content that addresses social issues. By focusing on activities that allow you to be innovative, embrace originality and contribute to the greater good, you can find both personal fulfillment and financial success.

PISCES PART OF FORTUNE IN THE 5TH HOUSE

You feel the most abundant when you have Pisces and Leo Sun people in your life. You could make money via painting, dance, music, theater, photography, spiritual counseling, energy healing, Reiki, yoga instruction, costume design. You could find financial success as a musician, composer, music therapist, astrology or tarot. You feel personal and financial fulfillment when you connect with others on a deep emotional level and explore your spiritual and imaginative side.

Credit goes to astrology blog @astroismypassion

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flos-obsessivus · 5 months ago

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YANDERE SFW ALPHABET - LILIAN

This is the full post for the 250 follower milestone! Thank you so much for those who participated! I had to cut it off early because it's nearing 500 followers and I'll be busy these next few days. Please enjoy!

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Honestly, he has all 5 love languages, words of affirmation – he needs to know that you love him, and he himself will declare everyday, every hour, every minute, how much he loves you. Quality time and Physical touch, both go hand in hand as cuddling is a big part of both of your routines. And as an Isolating type, it’s inevitable that he would always stay by your side if you’re locked up in the castle.

Acts of service, another one that’s important to him, if he serves you well, that means he’s a good husband and lover right? Worshippers are usually this way so that’s understandable. And finally, gift giving, he’s a prince, money is not a problem to him, so anything that your heart desires, be it jewelry, another kingdom, or the horns of the great fae, nothing will stop him if you ask for it.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

He himself will not spill blood, but everyone knows he is the crown prince of a whole kingdom, and that kingdom has many people that adore him. Ordering the guards to kill those who are a threat to you and him is easy to do, having people accept the murders is even easier.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

He’s actually a very good host, he’s very attentive and makes sure that all your needs are met, be it food or entertainment, he’ll be happy to serve you well.

He would never do anything that would mock you, for it shows how much of a bad lover he is. It’s supposed to be a happy ending, so why would he say anything negative to you? Both of you should be happy and his heart can’t take it if he does anything bad to you, outside locking you up that is.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Nope, he's too much of a good boy for that. He's more of a worshipper, obsessive type. So to him, you are more important than he would ever be. Anything that is outside of your comfort zone is a big no.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

VERY VULNERABLE! He could never, ever, manage to hide his love for you, from his words to his body language, it’s obvious how much love is packed in that body of his. He is, and always will be honest, he just has a way to word it so people will not think ill of his person. As a prince, clear communication and flowery words are important, to you though, both of those are thrown out the window.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Incredibly sad, the only reason why you would fight back is because you still haven't learned to love him! That's why you're very irritable, right? He just needs to understand you, as your true love it is important to know everything about you.

So, of course he'll do anything! W-well except letting you go of course...

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

It’s not a game to him, it’s a life or death situation, literally. His curse makes him desperate to find his true love, but also, he’d rather die than not have you, or in this case, stay in eternal sleep because he knows the only way he’d wake up is from your kiss.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

The worst thing that he'll do is isolate you until you love him, he wouldn't hurt you, he wouldn't force you to love him. Instead he will wait... Wait by your side as he takes care of you, wait on his knees as he looks at you like you hung the moon, wait until you finally love him.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Marriage and children! Also ruling over the rosen kingdom. It’s a royal’s duty to create heirs for the throne, and as his true love, marriage is inevitable right?

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

He definitely does, it’s incredibly obvious too considering it shows so expressively on his face, how his cheeks puffs up in jealousy, mouth turned down into a pout, and how he grips your sleeve so tightly. He never blames you for it though, rather, it’s always going to be the other person’s fault for trying to seduce you. His way of coping is believing that the other person is just a toy of yours, one day you’ll get sick of them and finally go back to him.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

So in love, it’s actually harder for him to mask his emotions when he’s around you. Yes, he manages to keep his face still but there are other parts of him that are harder to control. The redness of his cheeks, the trembling of his hands, the weakening of his knees, and the growing love for you in between his legs. If you are good at reading people, you’ll realise there's so many parts of him that sing a different song.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Oh he’s very sweet, usually courtship is very straightforward during his time, often just straight up asking if they wish to be wed during a ball, even arranged marriage is part of it. Lilian however, has the right to choose who and how he’ll court someone. I can see him courting you with gifts and such, and though he rarely sings, he is willing to woo you with his amazing voice. Every chance where he gets to sing in front of you, he’ll take it. He’ll even dedicate a whole song just for you. (Idol! Lilian everyone? Also Once upon a dream by Lana del Rey)

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Yes and no. He still acts the same with you and with the other people, his kindness and beauty is for all. However, the only difference is that with other people he is calm, even with uncomfortable situations he is still as level headed as the crown prince should be.

On the other hand, when he's with you, it gets harder to control his emotions. Even if he looks calm on the outside, just know he is so close to losing control of his affection for you. It becomes obvious when part of his routine is to find you to talk to you or just stalk you.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Isolation, and more bonding time with him! If you tried to escape or managed to actually escape, he'd just try harder to make you love him so you wouldn't escape. Physically hurting you is a big no no. To him, how he treats you reflects on what kind of person he is. If he hurts you, he's no more less than a brute.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Only being able to get out of the room. However, he’ll make it so all of the things you need are available to you. Entertainment, books, anything that you need he’ll bring it to you. He’ll do anything, as long as it’s not letting you go outside until you fall in love with him.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Very patient, he is not blessed with kindness for nothing. To be fair, he never sees anything as your fault, it’ll always be him or someone else.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

Never. As his only true love, his heart will always be with you. If you die, his heart is buried with you. If you escape, he will do anything to find you, if you manage to escape to a neighbouring kingdom... Menelaus started a war to bring Helen of Troy back, do you think he will not do the same?

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Yes he does feel incredibly guilty, but he wouldn’t let you go. It’s more of a risk for the whole kingdom if he lets you go, because everybody knows it's only time before he regrets letting you go. War is not off the table if he knows one of the kingdoms is harbouring you.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Since his birth, he has been revered for being the beloved prince of the Rosen Kingdom. From childhood to adulthood, he is expected to be lovely and kind to everyone, though it comes naturally to him, it still tires him at times. Due to his curse, his parents become overprotective, fearing that the great fae will find him and hurt him before the cursed day comes. He rarely gets to go out of the castle due to this, instead he would stay in the library when he has free time. He discovers books through this where there is always a happy ending in every fairytale.

He thinks of himself as a damsel in distress, being stuck in the castle guarded because of his status. Since then he always tries to seek out his prince charming, or his knight in shining armour, or just his true love. Because if he finds his true love, the person who loves him for him and not his charm, the person who will save him from his curse... He'll be able to finally live normally...

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Devastated! He’ll cry with you, for his heart is yours, and when you cry, his heart will cry. He already basically isolates you so, it’s not as odd, however if it extends to you refusing to touch him, he’s very pouty and sad. He needs his daily affection or he’ll be heartbroken.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

For this one, I don’t know, what classifies a classic yandere? Is it the dominant abusive type that seems to be most popular today? Or the ‘I will kill everybody who even looks at you’ type? There are many definitions of a classic yandere, these two are what I’ve seen a lot in other stories.

In that case, he’s the type to never hurt you, he’s mainly a submissive and worshipper type, with other types mixed in (Obsessive type as I said in Darling). He truly, truly loves you, and he refuses to even harm a single strand of your hair. Killing people is too much for him, oftentimes letting servants do it for him. He is still kind at heart, as is the blessing given by his fairy godmother.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

His love for you! As I said for Darling, he is the worshipper type, so your word is law. If it means making you happy, he's willing to do anything, as long as you make sure not to make him aware of your plans to escape. If you do manage to escape though, you can barely get anywhere before you get caught by the guards.

You can escape Lilian yes, but you cannot escape the kingdom itself, especially from his influence.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Nope! Hurting you also hurts him, how he treats you reflects on how he is as a person. Please refer to Unique and Naughty for more info!

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

So, so much. You are more important than anything in his life, after all, you are the one who would dictate whether he lives past 21 or not. Well, you and the great fae but! He only wants you. Money, fame, and power and one of the few things he can give. His entire being is also not off the table.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Honestly, until the day before his 21st birthday. However, the closer that day comes, the more desperate he becomes. Of course, he’ll want his curse to break and you are the only one who could, so before that happens he makes sure that you fall in love with him. If you still reject him, he’ll lose the will to keep going and accept his inevitable eternal sleep. At least then he will be dreaming of you forever.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Only by accident, one person can only stay in one place for so long before they go crazy. Yes, Lilian is there with you, but talking to only one person everyday can cause so many issues. Desperation can make you do things you’ll regret, breaking you is one of them. Let’s just hope it’s Stockholm syndrome and not your will to live.

#lilian oc #yandere oc #yandere prince #yandere #yandere male #yandere x reader #asks #yandere x you

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restlessmaknae · 16 days ago

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got me so lovesick // gyuvin

A school radio announcement goes wrong, and you accidentally end up confessing to the whole school that you might have a crush on a member of the school band - which consists of Gyuvin, Taesan, Jungwon and Yechan.

➳ Characters: band member!Gyuvin x school radio host!female reader/you

➳ Genre: high school au, boarding school au, rich kids au, comedy, fluff

➳ Words: 6.4k

➳ Warning: mentions of food, drinks, reader is a bit chaotic and overdramatic and overthinks a lot

➳ A/N: This story is part of my KOZ International High series, but can totally be read on its own as it's Gyuvin's own story.

“Good morning, everyone! This is your host, Y/N, and me and the whole school radio team hope that you had a wonderful summer. We would like to warmly welcome the freshman and welcome back all the other students. This year will probably be very challenging for a lot of you, especially for me and my fellow seniors, but since it’s still just the first day, let's not be sad! Here’s one of the most requested songs to start the new school year right with the last bits of summer: Supernova by aespa.”

You introduced the song before you pressed play on the audio. Then, you put your mic on mute and turned towards Hikaru who sat on the chair beside yours. She shook her head.

“I swear to god, we’re always ready to make the announcements, but the student service office can’t even help us out,” you grumbled as you reached for your bottle of water to take a sip from it.

It was just you, Hikaru and Seokjoon – the boy was currently checking on the cables as if you hadn’t been doing this for two years – for now, but there was also Samantha who was in the school radio club with you, and who was currently chasing after teachers and officers for any possible updates. Even though you had already sent out the survey to other students for song recs last week, and had already reached out to the school board if they wanted to make any announcements during your usual slots for the school radio, they were more or less unresponsive. Apart from getting your hands on the weekly menu at the canteen, that is.

After gulping down the liquid and your growing frustration, you turned to the head of the school radio again.

“Do you think we should make the announcements after the third period? Maybe lunch break?”

“I don’t know about you, but I would rather sacrifice the break after the third period than lunch break. I’ve been missing the cafeteria food,” the girl admitted with a lopsided smile, and you cracked up immediately.

“Fair point,” you agreed because if there was one thing you really liked about this school, it was the food at the canteen. Sure, it was a private school, so the quality of the facilities should be better than average, but you had heard that food was something that was questionable even at boarding schools. However, KOZ International High had excellent choices to suit all dietary needs and preferences, and they were also generous with the portions. Guys even lined up for seconds at times.

After agreeing on the timing of the usual announcements for the beginning of the school year, you turned back to the mic and as Supernova ended, you were on air again.

“Since everyone is still sleepy, we’ve decided to spare you from the usual round of announcements and paperwork deadlines until the third break. However, what we can say confidently, and what might wake you up is that Insomnia, the school’s one and only band is back! They are going to perform at today’s ceremony, to officially kick off the school year in good spirits. And for all the freshmen who are new to them… you’ve been seriously missing out until now,” you teased playfully before bidding your goodbye with a promise to come back with the announcements later on. One slot down, one more to go.

Seokjoon huffed behind you, and you and Hikaru both turned towards the boy, eyebrows raised in question.

“I don’t know what’s so good about that band. They are good, but they are pretty much mid,” he blurted out the cause of his disapproval, and you exchanged a glance with Hikaru in disbelief. You were of the opinion that the creation of Insomnia was the best thing to happen in your sophomore year because the school finally had a band, and because the school ceremonies finally didn’t suck. The four-membered band frequently performed at school events, and even had their own Youtube channel which had grown rapidly over the past 2 years.

Not to mention that the four members – Taesan, Jungwon, Yechan and Gyuvin – were still very much approachable and friendly with others, and they didn’t look for any trouble unlike Seokjoon who always felt the need to pick on others for liking different things than he did.

“Just because you listen to different kinds of music doesn’t mean that they are mid in their own genre,” you reasoned calmly, but of course, that wasn’t good enough for the boy.

“Just because they look good doesn’t mean that they make good music.”

“They look good and they make good music,” you corrected the boy who just shook his head, a knowing smile playing along his lips.

“You have a crush on one of them, don’t you?”

“And if I do, what about it?” You exclaimed as you rose from your seat, puffing your chest out confidently. You and Seokjoon had gotten into arguments before, so you weren’t one to back down from this one either.

You faintly heard that someone was trying to get inside the room, but your door was locked as usual while you were on air. Hikaru stood up from beside you to walk towards the door, but Seokjoon continued on with the conversation in the meantime.

“Who do you have a crush on?”

Just as you were about to open your mouth to answer his question, Samantha practically flew into the room and pushed you and Seokjoon away from the sound desk, pushing a button fervently before turning towards the two of you. She looked like she had been running, and you were more than perplexed because you had just said that you would make the announcements later on, so even if she had scooped up something, it couldn’t be that urgent.

However, Samantha was faster and told you why she had been rushing here:

“You guys were on live the whole time! So now the whole school knows that Seokjoon doesn’t like Insomnia, and that you, Y/N, have a crush on one of the members!”

You needed a moment to close your mouth after your jaw literally dropped, but then, your hands flew to your mouth when you realised what it meant that the whole school knew about it. The whole school included the members of Insomnia as well!

“Oh no… noooo… this can’t be happening,” you whined as you slid back into your chair, totally devastated. You covered your face with your hands as if you could hide away from everyone, but at least you couldn’t see the others’ expressions.

Hikaru put a hand on your shoulder sympathetically, and you were ready to hear some comforting words from her. Instead, she made you feel even worse when she pointed out:

“At least, you didn’t say who your crush is.”

Sure, because having a crush on any of them wouldn’t be enough for students to start gossiping or even worse, for the members of Insomnia to think of you as a crazy fangirl.

“Aaah, I’m so doomed…”

You were doomed.

If not from receiving multiple questions regarding your crush from multiple people in the corridor and in the classroom (even students you didn’t even know), then from agonising over what you should do when the third break rolled by. Should you apologise for the technical mishap? Which was totally your fault, by the way. You were the one who forgot to turn off the mic after signing off, so you couldn’t blame it on anyone.

Or rather, should you just act like nothing happened? That would mean you wouldn’t pressure the Insomnia members even more to tolerate your sudden confession because yes, you could admit once more that you had a crush on a member of Insomnia, but wouldn’t that make things worse? Wouldn’t that just make them more uncomfortable? Should you just say that it was a rhetorical question, nothing more?

Your two friends had different opinions on the matter, so mulling over it beside them in your classroom didn’t help either. Hikaru said that you should totally say that it was a rhetorical question if you wanted to avoid further gossip, but Hiyyih was of the opinion that you should confirm that you liked one of them. Who knew? Your crush might like you back.

“Ah, I don’t think that’s a good idea, to be honest,” Hikaru shook her head, and she looked like she didn’t want to say why she found it so unlikely that Han Taesan – the leader of Insomnia – would like you back. Yet, when you started questioning whether it was because you weren’t enough for a boy like him, she quickly dismissed your doubts.

“No, it’s just…” She started hesitantly, and looked around before leaning closer to the two of you. “I’ve heard from Kit that Taesan sat beside the head of the Maths club on the way home from their school trip willingly. Some claim that they have seen them warm up to each other, and that she fell asleep on his shoulder!” Hikaru whispered so quietly that you almost didn’t catch her words, and well… you wished you didn’t catch them.

You leaned forward all the way and rested your head on the table, hoping that it would solve all your problems – which consisted of your school radio mishap during the first break and the fact that Han Taesan might be in love with a different girl. You were aware that he was just a distant crush. After all, you weren’t even in the same class. All four members of Insomnia were in the other class, not yours.

Yet, you had been keeping an eye on him ever since he had opened the door for you on the first day of freshman year after another guy had shut the door in your face. He was the quiet type of kind, but you liked the fact that he was always quick to respond when you asked him about band-related stuff for the school radio announcements, and he had even sent in song recs for the slots.

“I mean, you know how Kit is… it might be exaggerated,” Hiyyih tried to save the day, and Hikaru seconded that, adding that she didn’t know if it was 100% true because she had heard about it when she had come into school that day.

Still, even the probability of the summer trip events happening in any form prompted you to apologise for the technical mishap during the third break and to claim that the crush-related mention of yours was simply rhetorical. Then, you quickly moved on to announce the weekly menu, the deadlines for the international students’ paperwork and where the freshman could pick up their student ID cards.

You signed off as usual, but you couldn’t help but ponder over the whole thing even until the end of the day, even when you were forced to sit through the school year opening ceremony which would end with the members of Insomnia performing.

However, shame was rushing through your veins at the very thought of seeing the band perform after today’s events, and you felt your face flush. You felt like it would be a terrible idea to be present, and since you were at the very back of the event hall because you were already seniors, you could escape quietly after letting your homeroom teacher know that you would go to the restroom.

You let out a long sigh when you got outside of the hall, your shoulders slumped at ease. You looked around, but the corridor was blissfully empty, so you could actually head to the restroom without anyone bothering you. You planned on staying inside a cubicle until the whole event was over, but it got suffocating quickly, so you walked out, planning to get some fresh air outside of the building.

However, as you turned a corner, you managed to bump into Kim Gyuvin, the guy who played the synthesizer in Insomnia.

“Oh, sorry,” the boy mumbled with a chuckle, his fringe falling into his eyes. You had to crane your neck to look at him because he was just so impossibly tall, but his height wasn’t your biggest concern now. It was the fact that he must have heard your words from before, if not from the school radio itself because he had been outside playing basketball with some guys or whatever, then from other students for sure.

“No worries, it’s fine,” you tried to shrug it off, partially saying it to him and partially to yourself, and since he didn’t seem to want to make a further comment, you took a step to the right and started walking away from him.

However, he called after you, he called your name which made you turn around in no time. Oh no… he recognised you!

“Yes?” You asked, trying to play the dumb, but your stomach turned into a gigantic knot in no time, and you felt dizzy immediately. This couldn’t go well, surely, he knew what had happened and he wanted to call you out on it. It couldn’t be for any other reason…

“Aren’t you coming back to the hall? We’ll perform soon.”

Surely, he had to know about it, he was just playing cool, but you were on the verge of running away from him and from this whole school.

“Oh no, I’m just…” You hesitated, trying to come up with a plausible explanation, but your brain kept telling you that you were already busted. He probably saw through you, right? “I’m just not feeling… super well,” you croaked out, a drop of sweat rolling down your cheeks as the words left your mouth.

Gyuvin seemed genuinely taken aback, and you couldn’t tell whether it was out of concern or surprise, but you just wished he could leave as soon as possible. Instead, he offered:

“Do you want me to walk you to the infirmary?”

Now, it was your turn to be taken aback because what the hell? This was not the scenario you had expected, and this was not the answer you had expected. You were trying to come up with reasons as to why he would go as far as walking you to the infirmary when he knew nothing about why you were feeling off, but then, your nervous ass decided to join the game and you shook your hands in front of your chest out of desperation:

“No, no way! I mean, there’s no need. You have to go and perform anyway. I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?” Gyuvin quirked an eyebrow, suspiciously eyeing you, but you bobbed your head so fervently, you were afraid it would fall off. “Alright, then. Get well soon!” He wished before turning around and heading back to the event hall.

You thought it was over and you were celebrating your little victory of not making a fool out of yourself for the second time that day, but then he called out your name once more, and you almost got a heart attack.

“Thanks for defending us! We’re happy to have supportive fans like you,” he exclaimed with a big smile, a genuine one, but before you could react, the boy sprung off and was out of sight.

Needless to say, you were more shocked than ever before in your whole entire life.

Your whole life was in a frenzy for three whole days before things started to calm down again. If the whole paperwork part of being an international student at a boarding school, moving into the student halls for the semester and dealing with your jet-lag wasn’t enough, the whole school radio fiasco topped it all off.

After the technical mishap on the first day, you always double-checked whether you muted your mic or not, and didn’t dare to talk to others around you until you made sure that the whole school didn’t hear you. You had random students ask you if you really did have a crush on one of the Insomnia members, and if you did, who it was (some girl even claimed Jungwon for herself which was scary because apparently it meant that no one else could have a crush on the boy), and it just got annoying after a while.

On the other hand, it was Seokjoon who had it worse. The boy was fairly liked in your class before, but now, he complained about girls giving him the cold shoulder because he dared to disrespect Insomnia out loud.

“Well, he had it coming,” Hikaru mentioned before sipping on her mango juice, and it was true that Seokjoon wasn’t the friendliest guy at school, and he deserved to have his real personality exposed, the one that he didn’t show when he was flirting with girls.

Either way, there was already new drama with the father of one of the freshmen running for the election in her country and having memes of him speaking at an event, so you were glad that someone else stole the spotlight from you because you had enough of it for the whole year.

Whilst it was nice that you didn’t get that many knowing glances or stupid questions by the end of the first week, you simply didn’t know how to function in front of the members of Insomnia. Thankfully, you weren’t really in the same space with them apart from seeing them at the canteen, but you just had to see Taesan walk out of the school building with the head of the Maths club a week later.

It was already past 7PM, and you had finished dinner at the canteen, but your plan of peacefully walking back to the student halls was hijacked, and you had to duck behind a giant bush to not get caught. You could already picture what Taesan would be thinking if he saw you around him after classes (and probably after his band practice), and no, thank you, you didn’t need him to think that you were following him around.

You watched him crack a smile when he casted a glance at the girl beside him, and you felt something twist within you. Some raw, gawking, painful emotion overtook you, and you knew it right then and there that Kit was right. They must have warmed up to each other because though you didn’t know a lot about the head of the Maths club, you knew that Taesan wouldn’t talk to, let alone smile at just anyone like that.

Oh gosh, Hikaru was right…. Thank God you didn’t tell the whole school who you had a crush on!

“Why are we hiding behind a bush?” A male voice asked beside you, and you almost let out a squeal when you caught sight of Gyuvin crouching on your right.

“Jeez, you scared me!”

“I guess I did. You were zoning out so badly, you didn’t even hear me walk up to you,” the boy called you out, his eyes twinkling with amusement. Sure, it must have been an odd sight to see you crouched down behind a bush, but you had your reasons.

When you looked over the bush once over, you saw that the pair was out of sight, so you straightened your legs and turned to Gyuvin who did the same. Now, he was a whole lot taller than you as opposed to your crouching forms, and well, it was more difficult to take yourself seriously when you had to look up at him like that. You were sure that he thought this situation was way too funny.

“Do I really have to explain?”

“You don’t have to, but I’m kinda curious,” Gyuvin replied with an excited grin and looked at you with those big, round eyes that reminded you of your dog’s back home. You heaved a sigh, probably way too dramatic, but you just had to let it all out before you could admit the truth to him.

“So I was just coming from the canteen when I saw Taesan with the head of the Maths club walk out of the main building, and I panicked.” “Panicked? But why?” Gyuvin tilted his head in confusion, and you let out a sigh. Again.

“Well, if it had not been obvious, I had been trying to avoid you guys since the school radio incident. I was afraid that Taesan would jump to conclusions if he saw me around him after school.”

“But you live in the halls and eat dinner at the canteen. Why would he jump to conclusions?”

The boy looked so perplexed that you wondered if he really was that oblivious or he was just trying to make you feel better. After all, he could also have been the one you had a crush on, so why was he acting so… coolly? So unbothered?

“Wait, does Taesan not care about the school radio incident? About me possibly having a crush on one of you?”

The boy furrowed his eyebrows for a few seconds before his features finally smoothed out, and he let out a carefree laughter. The kind of laughter that you didn’t appreciate given the circumstances, so you smacked his side lightly to reprimand him.

“Ouch,” he yelped, reaching for the spot you just hit, but it couldn’t be as painful as he made it out to be.

“I was being serious, Gyuvin! Don’t laugh at me!” You glared at him, putting your hands on your hips to appear more determined and more bossy than ever before. May it be because of that or because the boy was willing to answer either way, but he shared with you afterwards:

“If you want to know, we seriously didn’t give it much thought. Not me, not Yechan, not Jungwon and definitely not Taesan. So no, he would definitely not jump to the wrong conclusions. Believe me, I’m serious,” he stated in a surprisingly genuine tone, but you eyed him for a good ten seconds to see if he would break character.

When he didn’t, you let your shoulders drop and let out a long, long sigh. Again.

“Thank God! This whole situation has been giving me more stress than all my previous years here combined,” you admitted as you reached for your temple, feeling a headache creeping on.

“Oh yeah, the good old school drama. Insomnia had its fair share of them, you know,” he mused out loud, his lips curling upwards on one side. You didn’t know whether he added this to make you feel better or to make it seem like something that could happen to anybody, but you were thankful for his comment. Even more so when he reached a bottle out to you. “Want my banana milk?”

“Aww, thanks! That’s my favourite,” you squealed excitedly as you got your hands on the sweet drink. You immediately stripped the straw off and pierced it through the protective layer on top.

And somehow, this was how you walked back to the student halls with Gyuvin by your side, sipping on his banana milk.

Befriending Gyuvin was definitely not on your bingo card for the new school year.

Or well… you weren’t sure that you were friends, but you did act friendly with each other afterwards. He greeted you in the hallways, asked about your days when you met in the communal room of the student hall, and somehow, he never failed to request a song for the school radio. He even went as far as sitting beside you in the canteen for dinner much to Hiyyih and Hikaru’s amusement. Even though they knew everything, so they were aware that you two started talking since the incident, they didn’t really think much of it. Not until the boy casually plopped down beside you and the girls for dinner. He explained that Taesan and Jungwon didn’t live in the student halls, and though Yechan did, he was always the first to have dinner because that boy was hungry all the time.

After that, the girls couldn’t stop teasing you about Gyuvin, and how it seemed like you could actually have an Insomnia member to yourself even though Taesan liked a different girl.

“Come on! It’s not like that,” you protested, trying to talk some sense into the girls, but they were relentless.

“People say that it’s not like that when it’s exactly like that. Think about what happened at the sports day with Anton,” Hikaru teased with a grin, talking about the annual sports day which took place at the end of October. Someone said that they saw the school magazine writer hugging Anton after she had won the swimming competition in your year, but she denied everything. Apparently, even the tips of Anton’s ears blushed when he was asked the same question, so something must have been going on.

On the other hand, you and Gyuvin weren’t like that. At least, you didn’t think so, so you pushed Hikaru’s shoulder playfully as a sign of disapproval. The girl pushed you back and somewhere along the way, you got into a pillow fight in Hiyyih’s room while denying that you didn’t like the said guy.

However, your emotions were difficult to decipher lately. You somehow managed to get over your crush on Taesan without much of a… breakdown? Heartbreak? Sure, seeing him with the head of the Maths club for the first time hadn’t been the best feeling in the world, but he seemed happy, and that’s what mattered. Besides, it was only platonic on your part, you didn’t even interact a lot apart from what was necessary for the school radio, and things weren’t about to change in your senior year.

Plus, you had to admit that you enjoyed talking to Gyuvin. He was a really fun guy, and though you never knew when to take him seriously even though he was sometimes totally serious, you knew that he was genuine. He didn’t play a part, he was just being himself, and his jokes and playful remarks were enough to turn even your worst days into good ones.

Like that Friday night in November when you were moping on one of the couches in the communal room, holding a mug of steaming tea in your hands. Lemongrass tea was said to have a calming effect, but it either didn’t work on you or didn’t hit yet. On the other hand, Gyuvin joined you as soon as he caught sight of you, and asked why you were so down.

“It’s just that I did worse on a test than I wanted to,” you admitted, your lips curling downwards. You usually didn’t let academics get you down because you didn’t need to have perfect scores to get into the university you wanted, and your parents weren’t that strict about your grades either, but that day, you really took it to heart.

“It’s okay. There will be more tests on which you can do better…” Gyuvin comforted you, and you turned your head to look at him. He gave you a gentle smile before he reached out to ruffle your hair. A habit that you might have grown fond of. “Or you can even do worse,” he added with a shrug, his playful side resurfacing.

You immediately smacked his side to punish him.

“Hey! You do know that for someone as small as you, you do hit pretty hard,” he complained as his hands flew to the spot you hit. You stuck your tongue out at him like a child, but beside him, you could be one.

“I’m not small! You are just too tall!”

“Well, at least someone can reach the top of the shelf,” he wiggled his eyebrows, reminding you of the fact that you needed to ask for his help when you wanted to get something down from the top shelf in the communal kitchen. Because somehow the cleaning lady always put your scattered things on the top one. “Speaking of which, want a banana milk?” Gyuvin quirked an eyebrow, way too proud with himself when you immediately perked up, giving in.

However, instead of getting a bottle out of his pockets or his bag like he usually did, he prompted you to follow him to the nearest communal kitchen. Since you were provided breakfast, lunch and dinner at the school, the kitchen wasn’t equipped with a lot of appliances. Instead, it had more fridges and shelves where you could store your snacks, fruits and drinks. There was one kitchen per 6 students which was more than enough, but you and Gyuvin used different kitchens, so you weren’t super familiar with this one.

It looked the same as yours, but instead of your snacks being placed on the top shelf, Gyuvin opened the top cupboard to reveal at least eight different bottles of banana milk.

“You’re kidding!” You gaped at the sight. “You’ve been hoarding these?”

“I don’t like how they taste, but I don’t want to waste them,” the boy shrugged as if it had been an everyday thing. To be honest, one could always choose whether they wanted some kind of milk (banana, strawberry or chocolate flavoured) or juice with their meal, so he could have totally opted out. Which meant that he must have kept them for you.

The thought fazed you so much that you almost didn’t notice Gyuvin giving you three bottles of your favourite drink.

“Here you go. And if you need someone to get them for you, you can always call me,” he winked at you, all casual and cool, and you played along with him as you put a hand on your heart, feigning being touched.

“Oh, my knight in shining armour…”

You both burst into laughter, and it felt nice to hear him laugh like that, and it felt nice to be so carefree after being down the whole day. Not to mention the thought of him keeping banana milk in his cupboard for you.

“Thanks. That’s really nice of you,” you mentioned after pulling yourself together, giving him a grateful smile.

“You’re welcome.”

He smiled back at you, and in that moment, you felt like your heart did a little somersault.

Wait… was it like that now?

It was natural, really. Being with Gyuvin was all natural and fun and easy. Despite the fact that you had been so overdramatic when you had accidentally blurted out that you might have a crush on one of the Insomnia members, spending time with Gyuvin was not at all complicated or nerve-wrecking. Not that you actually spent time with the other Insomnia members, so they could ask you who you meant by that, but you know… it was still a big thing in your eyes.

These days, whenever you were around Gyuvin, you felt another layer of emotion that had not been there before, and admitting to your best friends that you might actually like the boy was somewhat deliberating. Though of course they said that they had known it all along. Especially when Gyuvin once asked you if you wanted to watch ‘The Wild Robot’ with him in the cinema because his friends didn’t want to see an animated movie with him.

“It’s totally a date,” Hiyyih squealed when you broke the news to them, but Hikaru just looked at you with those knowing eyes, and you knew that she was thinking the same.

“I mean, he didn’t say it was a date as per se, but I mean… it’s the first time we’ll spend time together off-campus, just the two of us,” you mused out loud, trying to make sense of what this occasion could mean to the boy.

“Well, at least, you’ll have an excuse to wear something nice that’s not your uniform,” Hikaru pointed out matter-of-factly, but you just realised right then and there that you didn’t even know what to wear for the occasion.

Since you usually wore a version of your school uniform during weekdays and some casual homey clothes on the weekends, you didn’t really have anything in mind. However, you were meeting Gyuvin off-campus, and you were going to the cinema with him, so you really did have an excuse to wear something else.

Which turned out to be a much more difficult task in the end, but the girls helped you choose a nice shirt with a fluffy cardigan, loose jeans and high-heeled boots to go with your usual winter coat and fluffy scarf. You thanked your friends by buying them their favourite snacks, and after getting permission from your parents to leave the campus during the weekend, you were good to go. You needed their permission because you were underage, but it was a fairly smooth process with a whole online system set up where your homeroom teacher got a notification when your parents approved your leave, and you could show the approval on your phone to the guards at the gate.

You decided on meeting the boy at the entrance – a giant gate with the school’s logo engraved into the front –, and after showing your permissions to the guard, he let you out. You started talking about the previous occasions you had left the campus grounds while taking the bus to the cinema, and time flew by quickly.

You almost forgot how much you had agonised over choosing the right outfit, but when you got inside the building, and the effect of the apparent heating hit you, you got rid of your coat and scarf immediately.

As Gyuvin turned around, he literally froze for a moment before he blurted out the obvious:

“Wow, you look different!”

“Yeah, I know. No school uniform today, thank God.”

“No, I mean…” Gyuvin tried to pull himself together, but he blinked a few times and cleared his throat before he managed to get the following words out. “You look pretty.”

Your face felt like it caught on fire right. You couldn’t help but smile sheepishly at the compliment, and ever so obviously not knowing what to do with it, you suggested getting some popcorn for the movie. Gyuvin looked just as awkward as you thought you looked like, so you felt a bit better about this whole thing. Turns out you weren’t the only one who had never done anything like this before.

After grabbing some popcorn and drinks, you were back to your usual chatty selves, and you stopped talking only when the movie started rolling. You had to admit that you had been a bit perplexed when Gyuvin had suggested an animated movie because a lot of boys your age would call them childish and cringey. You, on the other hand, were always up for a good Disney or Pixar movie, so after making sure that this invitation wasn’t a joke on the boy’s part, you had given it immediately.

You didn’t even mind. The movie was funny, heart-warming, and almost made you cry at one point. It was honestly so wholesome and you left the movie theatre in such good spirits that you felt like you could take on the world. But conquering the tests the week ahead was enough for you…

Gyuvin was of the same opinion, and as you were exiting the place, you shared your two cents on the movie, and what you liked about it. It was fun listening to the boy’s side, and it yet again warmed your heart that he oh so genuinely shared his opinion on an animated movie. Afterwards, you grabbed some good old convenience store food on the way back, filling your bellies before heading back to campus.

“To be honest…” Gyuvin started while you were waiting for the bus, and you turned to look him in the eye. It was unlike him to falter in his words, so you were extra curious what he had to say. “I didn’t even ask the guys if they wanted to come with me. I’ve wanted to see it with you,” he admitted as he scratched the back of his neck, a bit too embarrassed for his liking.

You blushed at the implication, but you blushed even more when you realised that you didn’t mind. It would have definitely been different with others around, let them be his friends or your friends.

“Y/N, can I ask you something?” Gyuvin inquired before you could properly react to his previous comment, but you bobbed your head immediately.

“Hmm?”

You just looked at him, eyes wide with curiosity, but the boy seemed uncharacteristically nervous for someone who was usually very casual. He bit down on his lower lip and let out a sigh before he finally blurted out his question:

“Do you really have a crush on somebody in the band?”

Though this was a question you had expected to get since the very first day of the semester, you didn’t expect it right now. However, you didn’t even have anything to hide from him, so you nodded, a genuine smile painted on your lips.

“Is it me?” He tried with a similarly wide smile, though he seemed reluctant. There was no turning back from here now, you knew it, and with each passing second, he just became more and more agitated, but before he could confuse your first love confession nervousness for trying-to-decide-how-to-reject-him kind of contemplation, you confessed with all the enthusiasm in the world:

“Yeah, I like you!”

And it was true. Though you used to have a crush on Taesan, if you could get over him so easily, it meant that it was just a fleeting thought rather than a real, deep-rooted crush. Instead, you were most definitely falling for this funny, silly guy who was always there for you with his banana milk and motivating (or teasing) words, and there was no denying this time that it was real.

“Ah, I’m so relieved,” he huffed with a grin, and reached out to ruffle your hair. “I like you, too, Y/N!” He said, and fireworks exploded in your heart at his words, at the way his lips curled into a gentle, never seen before smile, the kind that – it seemed like – came with confessions like this.

Now, you were more sure than ever that you were in love, and all the love songs were right about this feeling because it was all flushed faces, racing hearts and feeling out of breath for all the right reasons.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this story of mine! Let me know what you think! 😊

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Header taken from the 'Good So Bad' MV, story title taken from 'Doctor Doctor'.

Hope you have a lovely day/night! Take care! ❤️

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