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discordantwritings · 9 months ago

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Cleaning Up (Crocodile x Reader)

Warnings: NSFW 18+ MDNI, fem afab! Reader, virgin! Reader, Crocodile’s your boss, fingering, PiV sex, inappropriate use of Crocodile’s hook, belly bulge, slight overstimulation

WC: 3.6k

Summary: You’re Sir Crocodile’s maid and, if you’re honest, your uniform is an offense to feminism. Luckily you don’t really see your boss or anyone else while you work so there’s nothing to worry about.

Until you see him.

And then you start having things to worry about- mostly how attracted you are to your boss.

Notes: what can I say. Horny brain won

Tagging: @keiva1000

In the handful of weeks you’ve been Sir Crocodile’s personal maid you’ve grown to like your job. You were terrified on your first few days but quickly you found out that there was little reason to be scared. You were rarely ever in the same space as Crocodile- you worked mostly during the day while he was attending to his work- and you did your job throughly so he never had any notes for you beyond which drinks to stock up for him. Not to mention even the slight unpleasantness of how much sand you have to clean up is easily overridden by the generous pay you receive. And what you were initially the most uncomfortable with you’ve grown to like- that being the uniform.

It’s… short. And low. And so painfully stereotypical. The textbook definition of an impractical sexy maid’s outfit. For the first week you spent more time trying to make the skirt cover your ass then you spent cleaning. But when you realized there was rarely anyone in the house while you were working you quickly cared a lot less. There was something nice about putting on an outfit you didn’t have to think about picking out, and honestly there wasn’t any work so hard that you needed the coverage of pants for safety, so you developed a good relationship with the skimpy black and white number.

Maybe you did think you were a little sexy in it.

Of course, there was no one at work to see you and certainly no one at home, but it was nice to feel good about yourself. If no one else was going to objectify you, goddamn it, you were. Your boobs did look nice in the low square cut top. Your ass was cute when in peaked out from under that stupid tiny skirt.

It made coming to work each day slightly less boring. Your job was, admittedly, monotonous as you worked through your cleaning schedule. Today was an office cleaning day though- a nice break from the mopping day before. You collected all your cleaning supplies, pushed the big doors to Sir Crocodile’s office open, and nearly jumped out of your skin.

Crocodile was sitting behind his desk, leaning back as he read a newspaper. He folded down the edge of the paper as you came in, looking you up and down as you stared like a deer in the headlights, carefully constructed day flying away from you.

“I’m so sorry sir I didn’t know you would be in today-“ You had only seen him twice before this- once when he interviewed you and then another when he gave you a tour of his home. Never during work hours and certainly never in your uniform. “I’ll clean other places I’m sorry to disturb you.”

“No, it’s fine.” He says dismissively and that’s all as he unfolds the paper again to continue reading.

Okay. Time to do your job then. And try not to focus on how damn short your skirt is. It’s fine.

And really, it was. You went about your normal work and it seemed like Crocodile went about his. He looked at you from time to time but you got the feeling his was more looking at the quality of your work as opposed to your figure. Thank god you were good at your job.

After an hour or so you were done and loaded all of your supplies back onto your cart to move onto the next room. But, since he was here-

“I’m all done here unless there is something else you’d like done?” You ask politely, wanting to appease him.

“Hm…” He sits up in his chair and looks you up and down. “Who gave you that uniform?”

“Um… one of your officers sir, he had an interesting makeup style?”

“Ah. Bon Clay.” He huffs. “Well, at least your boyfriend can get some enjoyment out of this.”

“I’m not-“ This conversation has not gone anywhere near what you were expecting. “No boyfriend or anyone sir.”

“Really…” He looks you up and down again and suddenly you feel heat from his gaze. “Interesting. Well, there’s nothing else I need today, continue on.”

And just like that you were dismissed. You nod your head a silently hurry out of the room, grateful you didn’t have to continue facing down his hardened stare. It was frightening… but there was a twist in your gut that certainly wasn’t fear.

Arousal.

It followed you through the rest of your shift, his piercing grey eyes in the back of your mind as you swept and dusted. The heat from his gaze still lingered on your skin as you crawled into bed later that night. The few words he did say to you left questions for your mind to run rampant with.

But he was your boss and a terrifying pirate so you needed to shove all those thoughts and lock them away where they couldn’t be found. You could ignore how wet you’d gotten just from thinking about him looking at you.

You probably weren’t going to see him for a while so you had plenty of time to cool off and get a rational head about all this. This fleeting, lewd fantasy would be over before you knew it.

That is, of course, until he’s home the next day too.

This time he’s in the dining room, enjoying a cup of coffee and a book when you round the corner. You aren’t as startled this time, but all those lustful thoughts came crawling back into your head.

“Good afternoon sir.” You say, hoping your voice hasn’t betrayed you.

“Afternoon.” He says, only glancing up from the page when you speak.

It’s probably better this way, the less words he speaks the less of that low tone the less you have to latch onto. You sweep the floor first before moving to clean the long hardwood dining room table. At first you only clean 3/4ths of it, avoiding Crocodile’s space. But when you go to put your rags away Crocodile stops you.

“Oh, don’t let me get in your way.” He pushes himself back in his chair, taking his coffee cup with him as he sits about a foot from the table now.

“Thank you.” You go to star cleaning from the side of the table but a small tut from Crocodile stops you.

“Wouldn’t right here be a better angle?” He gestures casually with his hook to the small space between him and the table. Your brain is slow in processing what he’s saying and he simply leans back with a shrug. “But what do I know about cleaning.”

You’re not entirely convinced you’re not dreaming as you walk closer to him and turn so your back is facing him when you put yourself in between him and the table. You hear your heartbeat in your ears as you first clean off the table right in front of you, taking your time so you can work up the courage for your next action.

Slowly you lean over the table, pushing yourself up on your tip toes to get your whole torso onto the hardwood surface. You know your ass is fully on display for Crocodile, your black panties probably not doing much to hide the folds of your pussy. Behind you, you hear Crocodile suck in a breath.

“Just like that…” He murmurs and you aren’t sure but you swear you feel the fabric of your skirt move up slightly.

You take your precious time cleaning off the last bit of the table, making sure to shift your hips much more often than necessary as you keep yourself pushed up. There’s no way he isn’t staring at you the whole time, and you try not to have a giant smile on your face when you slowly stand up again and turn around. You’re still situated in that small space, your legs between his spread knees.

“Is there anything else you need sir?” You look into his eyes, using every ounce of your willpower to not look down and see if he’s hard or not.

His golden hook plays with the edges of your skirt as he looks at it thoughtfully. “I thought this thing was a little much at first, but I think I’ve come around to it.”

“It’s grown on me as well.” The attention has you flushed and your heart beating out of your chest.

“You look like you want to run.” He grins up at you and you have to grip the table behind you to keep yourself steady.

“No sir.”

“Then why are you so flushed?”

He’s playing with you. Like a cat toying with a bird before it kills it. There’s something so intoxicating about being prey.

“I guess I’m not used to attention like this sir.” You answer honestly.

“How can that be?” His flesh hand comes up and grazes along the outside of your thigh. “Pretty little thing like yourself…”

“I’m not sure. Maybe I keep too much to myself.” His touch is featherlight as he leaves goosebumps in his wake.

“No partner now… certainly there have been partners before?” His grey eyes are intense as they lock with yours and the implications of his question aren’t lost on you.

“No. No partners before.” You admit, growing more breathless by the second.

His grin shifts slightly into something that would be frightening if you weren’t dizzy with arousal. His coffee cup gets placed back on the table, long forgotten by now.

“What an absolute shame.” There’s no hint of sadness in his voice. “Poor little thing like yourself all alone late at night.”

His hand drifts under your skirt and around to your ass, palming the flesh there. “I bet you make do though.”

That was the thing though- you really didn’t. Not for lack of trying, certainly not, but every time you touched yourself you’d never been able to climax. You get in your own head and your thoughts run rampant and you can only focus on how your fingers don’t actually reach anywhere good or how you can never keep up the right pressure on your clit to push you over the edge. Something always slips at the last minute and drags you out and away from your orgasm. You enjoy the ride there, at least, but never quite get over the hill.

You take too long to respond but that in itself tells Crocodile his answer. The grip on your ass turns bruising and you bite back a moan. You watch as his tongue runs over his teeth and he’s about to say something when-

“Sir.” A voice sounds from behind you and embarrassment shoots up through your system.

“What?” Crocodile’s voice is sharp and mean as he glares past you at whoever is interrupting.

“There’s been Marine movement counter to what our intelligence has told us-“

“How bad?” Crocodile cuts him off and you look and see Crocodile’s hook slowly crushing into the table next to you.

“Bad.”

“Fuck.” His hook full imbeds in the table with a slam and you can’t help but jump. “I’ll be there in a second. Go!”

You hear hurried footsteps leaving the room and there’s a heavy pause as you both collect yourselves. You hear the sound of splintered wood as he pulls his hook out of the table and stands up, towering over you.

“Don’t worry about the table.” His hand slowly leaves you and you bite back a whine. “Do you think you could stay late today? My bedroom is a mess and could use your attention.”

You nod furiously but he tuts.

“Use your words sweetheart.”

“Yes sir.” You manage and are rewarded with the surprisingly soft brush of his fingers on your cheek.

“That’s my girl.”

And with that he leaves you, breathless and gripping the broken table. You take a deep breath and calm yourself down so you can finish your work for the day.

Once you figure out how to make your legs work again.

You clean just about every square inch of the house you have access to before slipping into Crocodile’s bedroom as the sun went down. Of course, there was absolutely nothing to clean in his room- honestly you weren’t confident he even slept in here with how pristine it was.

You smile as you get a devious thought, walking over to the neatly made bed. You slip your panties off before sitting on the edge of the bed and then nicely lay them out next to you. Now to wait.

And wait.

And wait some more.

You’re half asleep by the time the bedroom door startles you awake. You shoot upright and try to look poised but you quickly realize he probably doesn’t care.

He looks tired and aggravated. His eyebrows furrowed as he slams the door behind him and for a second you think you’re going to be asked to leave- that is until he sees you. His shoulders visibly relax as he stalks over to you, looking you up and down.

“Sorry I had to keep you waiting I-“ He stops in his tracks as he sees your panties sitting next to you on the bed. That predatory grin from earlier sneaks back on his face. His hook picks up the black fabric and holds it out in front of both of you.

“What’s this?” He asks, looking down at you.

“I-“ All the courage you had worked up earlier fizzled out by now, embarrassment raking over your body as you avoided his gaze. “Just wanted to be ready for you.”

“So here you were on my bed- bare, alone- what a cruel man I am. Fuck if I had known-“ His body towers over you and you lean back, arms straight behind you supporting you on the bed.

“You’re here now.” You still can’t quite meet his eyes but hearing all the need in his voice has your confidence slowly creeping back.

“Yes.” His hand comes up and his thumb rubs your cheek as he gently moves your face so you’re looking in his eyes. “Back to the headboard and spread your legs for me.”

You quickly push yourself back until you hit the headboard and let your legs lay open, earning you an appreciative hum from Crocodile. He walks around the bed before sitting next to you, hand grazing up your thigh. Leaning in he nudges your jaw with his nose and you tilt your head, letting him have full access to your neck. Teeth graze along your jugular as he pushes your skirt fully up.

“You might have ruined my sheets already, you’re absolutely dripping…” You whine as his large fingers push apart your folds.

He bites down right as he pushes a finger inside you, pain and pleasure mixing as you writhe against the bed. His finger pumps slowly in and out as he licks over the bite he just made. A second finger slips easily inside you while his thumb rubs against your clit.

“How do my fingers feel? Hm?” He whispers as he nips at your earlobe.

“Feels so good sir- I’m-“ You press your head back into the headboard as you feel the coil tightening inside you.

This is always where you get in your own way and you feel that self scrutiny rearing its head. Suddenly you’re worried about how you look, how you sound, how your inexperience is going to eventually ruin the night. You’re quickly sliding away from your orgasm and Crocodile catches on fast.

“Hey.” His hook goes under your chin and directs your face to his. “Focus here.”

His lips are on yours and his body leans in, pressing you down further into the bed. The kiss is so consuming you don’t notice this hook leave your chin until it’s slicing clean down the middle of your top and bra. Fabric falls away and your yelp at the action is easily swallowed by Crocodile. He doesn’t give you a moment to breathe as the cold metal of his hook drags against one of your nipples.

“I guess I’m not too upset you won’t cum on my fingers.” His voice is husky as he pulls away, hand quickly shoving his pants down. “Your first orgasm should be on my cock anyways.”

Your head is swimming at his words and as he pulls his cock out you realize you’re in over your head. He’s big- too big you’re afraid. Crocodile must see the gears turning in your head and he chuckles.

“Oh don’t worry darling- it’ll fit.” He moves back over you, caging you in with his large body.

He drags his tip through your folds, teasing you as he presses kisses along your neck and collarbone. The gold of his hook drags down between your breasts, somehow still cold despite its constant presence on your body. His tip presses into you and you already feel the stretch and you hands fly to his back and shoulders to anchor yourself.

“Shhhh- just relax baby-“ He pushes in slowly but relentlessly and it’s hard to follow his instructions when you feel like you’re getting split in half.

As your nails dig into the skin of his back he leans down and takes one of your breasts into his mouth, his tongue swirling around your nipple as his hook presses into your other nipple. There’s nothing you can do but take what you’re being given, letting the painful yet pleasurable sensations overwhelm you until finally- finally- your brain empties of all thoughts.

“That’s it- such a good girl for me-“ You don’t miss how breathless he is, forehead pressed to your collarbone as he pushes his last few inches into you. “So fucking tight-“

One of your hands moves up and tangles in his black hair. “Please- need-“

“Hm? Need more already?” He starts to move his hips, pace still slow as you still struggle to accommodate his girth. “I knew you were going to be such a good little whore for me.”

He sits up and pulls your thighs up further around his waist, shifting his angle and making you see stars. You feel his hand pressing against your stomach and when you look down you can see the slight budge of his tip pressing up through the skin. It’s enough to make you dizzy.

“You see that don’t you?” He picks up his pace, hand moving down to hold your hips in place. “You’re taking me so well- I’m going to fucking ruin you for anyone else. Do you think anyone else could possibly fuck you like this? Huh?”

“No- fuck- I’m-“ You claw at whatever skin of his you can reach as you feel your orgasm rushing up on you and for once you’re not afraid it’s going to creep away.

“That’s right baby- cum all over my cock. I know you can do it.” His pace is brutal and his hand moves from your hip so his thumb can circle your clit and just like that you’re gone.

White hot pleasure rakes down your spine as you come undone on his cock, the release nearly making you cry. Crocodile has moved to press kisses against your neck again, slowly moving back up to your lips as he rocks into you at a slowed pace. The kiss is less intense than before but no less intimate.

“Think you can give me another one?” He asks, breathe fanning over your face.

“I don’t-“ You’re quickly cut off by him flipping you onto your stomach.

You feel his hand press down against the space between your shoulder blades as the outer curve of his hook presses your hips up. Despite his slowed pace the pleasure is still the same- body still reeling from your last orgasm.

“I can’t help being a greedy man.” He grunts out, the sound of his hips hitting your ass filling the room.

You hold onto the sheets for dear life as you do your best to keep your ass in the air as he fucks you into the mattress. The bed does little to muffle your debauched moans and whines as his cock hits spots you didn’t know existed.

“C’mon baby be a good girl for me- milk my cock-“ His thrusts are rougher now and you have no choice but to obey his command.

You cry out into the bed as you cum, only just able to hear Crocodile groan behind you as you feel the sudden loss of his length inside you. Not a second later you feel warm ropes of cum hit you ass.

“Hold still for me for just a bit more baby-“ Crocodile is breathless as you feel his hand grab at your asscheek, fingers smearing his cum into you skin. “Fuck you look so beautiful all gaping for me- next time I’m going to fill you up, you’d like that wouldn’t you?”

You can only offer a weak moan, completely worn out as you focus all your energy on not fully collapsing onto the bed. Of course the thought was wonderful, but you’re not sure when your body would recover from this.

“Alright love, you can relax.” At his words you melt, body falling into the bed as the haze of exhaustion washes over you.

You feel Crocodile’s weight leave the bed but he’s only gone for a minute. He returns with a glass of water and a damp cloth, cleaning you off with a surprising softness.

“I don’t think I can walk let alone make it home.” You admit after you take a drink of water.

“Did you really think I’d let you go home after that? Darling, you never have to leave again if you don’t want to.” Crocodile joins you on the bed again, hook sitting on his bedside table.

As he pulls you into his chest, chin resting on top of your head, you don’t think that’s such a bad idea.

#sir crocodile x reader #sir crocodile x you #crocodile x reader #crocodile x you #one piece x reader #one piece x you #x reader #discordantwritings

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quicktimeeventfull · 21 days ago

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how to make your fic easily findable

okay hello everyone! here is my somewhat solicited guide on how to make your fics easier for interested readers to find.

please note that this is a guide to help you make your fics discoverable, not to make them popular(tm.) it’s also not a guide as to the best way to post fic. you do not need to do these things. doing these things will not make people like your fic more or less than they would otherwise. i do not do all these things, either. my aim here is purely to provide suggestions that will make your fic easier to search for and share.

where to post your fic

post it on ao3 as an individual fic. authors are often hesitant to post short fic on ao3, but readers simply cannot find it if it’s not there. multi-chapter drabble collections are a matter of preference and are absolutely fine to use, but in terms of findability they’re really hard for readers to pass around or put on rec lists.

you can also post your fic on tumblr. ime fic posted in full is way more likely to be reblogged than an outward link. long fic posted on tumblr should use a read more cut, but at least a paragraph should be above the cut.

should i make a promo post?

yes. ao3 does not have any features that facilitate promoting fic -- if you don't make a promo post, people will only see your fic if they regularly browse through newest fics or actively search for one of its tags.

what should i put in a tumblr promo post?

a tumblr promo post should generally contain:

title

pairing

name of the fandom

summary of fic

link to fic

your tags should contain

pairing

name of all major characters

name of fandom

the word ‘fic’ (so people who hate fic in the tags can filter it out. be polite!)

other optional inclusions:

rating (explicit, teen, etc)

word count

major tropes

graphics (don’t forget alt text!)

a sample of your writing (it’s common to grab a ‘best-of’ passage from within your fic, but personally i’ve found you get a way better response if you paste the first couple paragraphs then add a ‘continue’ link at the end.)

tumblr does remove posts with certain keywords from the tags, but honestly these keywords are very minimal. if you’re worried your post might not be added, double-check ‘latest’ and find an alternative phrase if necessary. don’t censor the word. you do not need to repost — tumblr will pop it back in as soon as you’ve removed the word. (it won’t push it back to the top, though, so it’s best to correct this asap.)

a further note on tags

use the most commonly used tag. look at other people’s posts to find the fandom norms. it is fine to add multiple variations of the same tag.

this is especially important if the tag is ambiguous. for example: ‘near’ is the most commonly used name for the death note character, but the full name ‘nate river’ should be included as well. take into account that a lot of people use plain searches rather than tag searches. an ambiguous name might be usable as a tag but not as a plain search. top vs latest searches will also give dramatically different results — ‘top’ searches tend to retrieve appropriate results with ambiguous names, but ‘latest’ results won’t.

what should i not put in my tumblr promo post?

self-deprecating statements. this isn’t a moral statement. people just don’t like to read things if the author is telling them it’s bad

criticism of other people’s work, even if it’s really general. ‘i usually hate hurt/comfort but i wrote this anyway’ is obviously going to alienate the vast majority of your readerbase

anything unrelated to the fic. if people can’t tell whether or not something is a personal post, they’ll be hesitant to reblog. if you want to add commentary, put it in a second reblog.

what should i include in my ao3 summary?

this is a bit of a moving target. some readers like fairly detailed summaries. other readers look to tags for content information and prefer abstract vibes-based summaries. my suggestion would be to include the main selling points of your work — the characters, the tropes, and whatever factors make it unique.

at the end of the day, though, basically anything other than ‘i suck at summaries’ is fine.

what ao3 tags should i include?

any major pairings, any major characters, any major tropes. imagine your fic from a reader’s perspective — what tags would they look under if they were searching for something like it?

also pay attention to whether or not an ao3 tag is canonical. only canonical tags can be filtered on. if it autocompletes, it’s canonical.

for more information on a specific tag, click into the tag to reach the ‘x works in TAG’ screen, then click it again. tags are often made synonyms of specific canonical tags, in which case filters will treat them as if they’re that tag. you can get pretty granular with all of this but basically if you use tags that autocomplete you’re good to go.

you can also use tags to clarify content. (ex. ‘this trope is only a minor aspect of the story.) ao3 used to ask people not to do this, but it’s now explicitly permitted.

does posting time matter?

yes. sorry. it does. quite a bit, frankly. people often overthink this — there are so many variables trying to find the exact perfect time is a losing game — but it is absolutely worth taking into account.

when should i post?

on ao3: do NOT post between 12AM and 5AM UTC. ao3 has a longstanding posting glitch that will backdate your work if it’s posted between these times. in general: broadly speaking fic tends to do best on sundays and worst on friday. posting on a holiday dramatically drives down traffic. fic should be posted on ao3 when most people would likely have time to read (ex. after the standard workday) and promo posts should be posted when people would likely be looking for fic (ex. commuting hours aka slightly before 9AM and at 5PM.) the majority of tumblr users operate in EST.

the university semester also makes a massive difference to how much engagement a fic gets — views always shoot up during breaks and plummet during exams. honestly working around this would require delaying your fic so frequently that i can’t see it being worth it, but it’s good to be aware of in terms of the response you’re expecting.

also the ‘best’ posting time does vary a lot genre by genre so you’ll have to experiment a bit. (personally i’ve found h/c tends to do better midweek, for example.) imagine your fic from a reader’s perspective: when would you likely be looking for this sort of thing?

anyway don’t drive yourself crazy with this but also don’t shoot yourself in the foot by posting at 2AM EST on christmas morning. do you have a random piece of advice about posting on ao3? please be aware that if you write your fic as a draft, ao3 will backdate the fic to the day you saved the draft and index it accordingly -- it won't show up in the newest fics. multichapters initially posted as drafts will sometimes glitch and backdate every single new chapter. you can correct this by checking the 'set a different publication date' box and manually inputting it.

should i reblog my own promo posts? yes. do this. do it multiple times. make sure you do at least one reblog in the morning, one in the night, and one on the weekend.

i feel like authors are often embarrassed to reblog their own work because it feels self-important but the fact is most people are not reading your blog start to finish. no one will see all your reblogs. tbh you may lose followers for this but this is is a guide on fic visibility, not tumblr popularity.

please conclude your post now

anyway!! i hope some of this is helpful. again, you don't need to do any or all of this, but i hope it can provide a bit of a framework and some suggestions.

#ao3 #fic

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pnutbutter-n-j-elyy · 5 months ago

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𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝙵𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝙺𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝚆𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚈𝚘𝚞 | Chan|Minho

Chan x Gn!Reader, established relationship , (mother used in context of parental structure norms) Minho x Gn!Reader, established relationship

Anon Request: Thanks for the wonderful request sunshine, enjoy <3.

Warnings: Mildly Suggestive, Slight Cursing *Minho*

Word Count: 3.6k

~X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X ~

𝘉𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯

Agree or not, I see Chan as being the member most likely to take things slow. He tends to look down on himself a lot, finds himself underserving of love, and puts others before himself constantly. But I feel like he has enough emotional maturity to realize this; and realize that having a sense of inherient inferiority can be a hinderance in any romantic pursual or commitment. So if he truly loved someone, he would take things slow- extremely slow. While he is the member who feeds most into the playful side of romance, being flirtatious and having the tendency to indulge in delusions I feel like in a serious situation of romance he would be afraid of navigating those waters due to the majority of his life being spent focusing on his career. So him being his perfectionist self would probably internally feel extremely romantic and lovey-dovey but his rational side would look at the execution love as something that could be handled more logically; and would take practical steps in trying his best to make the relationship last. So in terms of something like kissing- while I feel like he would have the urge to do it early on he'd let his doubts control and wait. But when he finally has the courage to act on that impulse when he feels the relationship is firmly founded he would kick himself for not indulging sooner because my God is he in love with the feel of his s/o's lips on his.

It was a cool evening, and you and Chan were taking a leisurely stroll along the riverbank. It was one of those rare times that Chan had time on his hands. But it was common that when he did have this precious time it would be spent solely with you.

The sun had just set, casting a beautiful array of colors across the sky, and the city lights were beginning to reflect off the water. The oranges yellows and pinks were a masterpiece, and your mind wandered slightly to Hyunjin, thinking he would enjoy the natural masterpiece displayed in above you.

As Chris held the role of the father of the group, you had easily become the supposed "mother" role of the of the group in the sense that Chan disciplined, you nurtured - even Minho quickly falling into the habit of referring to you in the likeness that you heard from Jeongin and Felix. You liked gifting them things as if they really were your children and made a mental note to ask your boyfriend if there was any supplies he figured Hyunjin would appreciate at the moment.

You walked hand in hand, enjoying the serene atmosphere and each other's company in a silence that was in no way awkward. And when you guys did talk, the conversation came easily, filled with laughter and shared stories, in a flow that mirrored that of a couple who had been together decades rather than just over eleven weeks.

Six weeks had felt like an eternity to you. But in a good way.

You and Chan decided to take things slow. And so far...it had been going extremely slow. Going into the relationship you had known the nature of Christopher's job. You knew he was busy and for the first few weeks of you being official it hadn't felt all that different from your friendship other than you went to more places alone, without the guys tagging along.

By the fourth week things had started to progress. You understood that Chan was scared. He admitted that to you upfront. He was assured of his attraction to you. Of his love even- although he didn't pressure you to respond to that immediately- but he had been so career focused the majority of his life that he was afraid to put work before you. He was tentative of what you guys were becoming, while fully being excited and anticipatory for it.

And you understood. You promised him you understood.

To anyone else they'd be surprised that you guys hadn't done anything more than hold hands and hug. With the occasional cuddle- usually when you were his company on the late nights at the studio. Any normal person would look at you and just assume you were very close friends.

But you knew the reasoning behind the way your relationship worked and knew the depths of his affection so you weren't worried. You weren't in a rush; you were content to take things as slowly as possible as long as it made Chris feel comfortable and loved.

As you walked, you couldn't help but steal glances at Chan, taking in his profile illuminated by the soft glow of the streetlights. The light haloed him and brought out an unreal beauty you wished he could see at his lowest moments of insecurity. He was handsome. Beautiful. He looked peaceful, and yet there seemed to be a hint of something deeper in his eyes, as if he was lost in thought. You squeezed his hand gently, bringing him back to the present. He smiled at you, and your heart fluttered.

"Is everything okay?" You asked softly.

"Let's sit for a bit," Chan suggested, leading you to a nearby bench that overlooked the river. You both sat down, still holding hands, and took in the beautiful view. The sound of the water lapping against the shore was calming, and for a moment, you both sat in comfortable silence. Your mind was for the most part still, but you were always worried for Chris. And you hoped he was okay.

Chan turned to you, his eyes reflecting the shimmering lights. "You know, I've really enjoyed tonight," he said softly. "Being with you like this… it means a lot to me. These past three months have been indescribable really." He brought his other hand to the one he was holding and traced yours softly while looking at them.

You felt your cheeks warm at his words. "I've enjoyed it too," you replied, your voice equally soft. "It's been perfect."

"Do you mean it?" He mumbles. "I feel like I'm a coward. And undeserving of you. I feel like I've never been happier yet...I feel like...like you're not getting anything out of this relationship. I feel like I'm...not...like maybe you're...I..." He struggled to look for the right words.

"Love," You murmured pulling your hand away from his and guiding his face to yours. You brought his eyes right to yours.

There was a brief pause as you both looked at each other, the air between you filled with an unspoken understanding.

"I'm happy. Truly. Don't doubt that."

Chan's gaze dropped to your lips for a moment before he quickly looked away, almost shyly. He chewed on his cheek for a minute. He had a slight hunger in his eyes. It was a side of him you hadn't seen before, and it made your heart ache with affection.

"Can I… can I kiss you?" Chan asked, his voice barely above a whisper. His usual confidence was replaced with a hint of vulnerability, and it made the moment even more precious. As if he was scared that you'd say no.

Does this man know who he is? How many people would kill to be sitting in front of him as he stared at their lips asking if they could capture them in his own?

Your heart skipped a beat, and you nodded, unable to find your voice. Chan's face lit up with a small smile and he swallowed, his adams apple moving up and down slowly. He leaned in slowly, giving you plenty of time to back out if you wanted. But you didn't. You wanted this just as much as he did, you eyes closing in anticipation.

As his lips met yours, you felt a spark of electricity shoot through your body. What Chris meant to be a quick peck quickly turned into something much deeper. The kiss was gentle at first, but as the seconds passed, it became more passionate. Chan's hand came up to cup your face, his thumb brushing softly against your cheek. He had told himself just a peck. Take things slow. But the world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you in that moment; and filling Chris with a fulfillment and satiation that he hadn't know he needed.

You could feel the love and adoration pouring from Chan as he kissed you. It was as if he was trying to convey all his feelings through that single kiss. As if there was some chemical in your lips that seemed to cause a reaction in your body. As if he desperately needed this. The intensity of it took your breath away, and you found yourself leaning into him, wanting more. Just as he did.

Chan's other hand slid to the back of your neck, pulling you even closer. The kiss deepened, and you felt his tongue gently brush against your lips, seeking permission hesitantly. You parted your lips with an urgent willingness, allowing him in, and the kiss became even more intense. It was a dance of passion and tenderness, a perfect blend of everything you felt for each other.

When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless. Chan rested his forehead against yours, his eyes still closed as he caught his breath. "Wow," he murmured, a smile tugging at his lips. "That was… amazing."

You nodded, unable to find the words to describe how you felt. Instead, you leaned in and gave him another quick peck, savoring the way his lips felt against yours. Chan chuckled softly, his eyes opening to look at you with pure adoration.

You watched his throat work. "I've wanted to do that for a while," he admitted, his voice still a bit breathless. "I was scared. I'm glad I finally did it. Although...I'm kinda pissed." He said with a chuckle. "If I wasn't so scared then I could have been doing that for much longer...damn you past Chris." He teasingly cursed.

You smiled, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. "I'm glad we waited," you said softly. "In a sense I feel like it made our first kiss even more special to me. I know you love me enough to have patience to make sure that this becomes forever." You said holding your hands up. "So again, don't ever doubt us."

Chan pulled you into a hug, holding you close as you both sat there, basking in the aftermath of the kiss. The world around you seemed to disappear, leaving only the two of you and the tension in the air. It was a moment you would cherish forever, a memory that would always bring a smile to your face when you thought of it. And if this is what it felt like to take things slow; then as long as you were with Chris you'd be content with waiting forever.

~X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X x X ~

𝘔𝘪𝘯𝘩𝘰

The way I see Minho's love is like a perfectly aged whiskey. At first glance, it might seem subtle and reserved, with a smooth and understated presence. It’s not flashy or overtly romantic, but its depth and warmth become apparent the more it ages, and the more you indulge in it. Just like a fine whiskey that reveals complex flavors and a rich character over time, Minho's love is something that gradually unfolds, showing its true depth in moments of quiet intimacy and unspoken understanding. It’s not about grand gestures or constant declarations; it’s about the steady, comforting assurance of his presence, the way he makes his s/o feel cherished in the smallest, most meaningful ways. Whiskey is something that is basic and foundational. Something simple that can be paired with many different things and different pairing bring out different levels of flavor; just how the context of the situations will bring out different levels of his character. Whiskey is something familiar- and something that becomes known deeply just with familiarity- just like Minho. The longer him and his s/o are together, the more his s/o appreciates the nuanced, understated beauty of his love, which, much like the whiskey, grows richer and more profound with time. But whiskey can also be something that brings waves of warmth and intoxication - especially to someone who is new to drinking. And with intoxication comes impulse. If he's the whiskey, his s/o is the compound that brings his inebriation; and in those warm, euphoric flashes he'll be passionate and impulsive- and when he kisses his s/o it's something just as in the moment as drunken mistakes- except he wouldn't akin it to a mistake.

The evening had been planned for a romantic date out, but an unexpected delivery expectance threw a wrench into your plans.

Minho had to dash back to his house to pick up a package that had arrived at the last minute and needed to be signed. It had slipped his parent's mind that it would be coming that day, and they had travelled out of town for the week, and asked Minho to grant them this favor.

It was a minor inconvenience, Minho was slightly irritable about having to move reservations around, but you decided to be optimistic, since you could finally meet his number one pride and joy.

You were rather excited to meet Minho's cats for the first time. You had heard so much from him about them, and while you knew he had wished to introduce you to them when you had become official (the crazy thing is he wanted to introduce you to his cats before his parents) the opportunity hadn't come in the past few weeks you had been a couple due to the nature of his work, and your commute to your own job.

You had become official only a week before Minho left on a PR tour, going to numerous fashion shows, interviews and collaborating with international artists. This was the first official date you guys were going on, although you meshed so well that your relationship was progressing even when you were temporarily long distance.

As you settled into Lee Know’s cozy living room, the cats immediately took an interest in you. Dori was sniffing at you suspiciously. You sat and let each of them come to you, trying your best not to make sudden movements and frighten them.

You weren't expecting any of them to take an immediate liking to you. But Soonie jumped up to where you were sitting and started kneading your thigh. You couldn’t help but giggle as you petted Soonie- Doongie joining next and Dori rubbing up against your foot; feeling completely at ease in the warm, cat-filled environment. Lee Know's house was filled with the comforting smell of home— the one smell that was particular to every house- a smell you couldn't describe, a hint of catnip and fur, bleach, and some lingering air freshener.

You nibbled on a snack you had brought along, savoring the moment of relaxation before Minho returned. As you were enjoying your snack, your boyfriend finally walked through the door, his arms full of packages. He looked a bit irritated, but relieved to be back.

"Sorry for the delay," he said, setting the packages down. "I hope the cats haven’t been too much trouble."

You laughed, shaking your head. "They’ve been great. Actually, they’ve been keeping me very entertained." Minho’s eyes widened slightly then softened as he looked at you, his attention momentarily captured by the sight of you surrounded by his furry friends. He took a deep breath, clearly relieved to be seeing you so comfortable.

It awakened a desire that needed to be dealt within him.

With a playful glint in his eye, he walked over to you, still holding one of the packages. He placed it on a nearby table and then leaned in close, a mischievous smile spreading across his face.

His muscles were flexing in a plain black dress shirt that due to a laundering mistake shrunk slightly, but you like it. His toned arms were noticeable with the fabric taught over them.

"Mind if I join, kitten?" he said, his voice low and teasing; the new pet name rolling off his tongue as if it was something he had called you before. His lips tilted up in a seductive smirk. Before you could respond, Minho leaned in and, without warning, licked your cheek.

His tongue was warm and slightly damp, and he pulled back with shit faced grin.

"Ew, Minho!" you exclaimed, wiping your cheek with a laugh. Your eyes wide in shock. He still caged you to the couch, subtly leaning closer, his muscles straining slightly to keep his body hovering just inches above your own. "What was that for?"

The cheshire like grin on his face widened as he playfully shrugged. "You’re saying 'ew' as if this tongue isn’t ever going to touch your own, kitten." You blinked, a mix of surprise and amusement on your face. A little shocked at his sudden confidence. The sound of your new nickname doing something to your stomach.

His boldness and playful attitude were part of what made him so endearing. But you had only seen it in small doses. He leaned in even closer if possible, his gaze intense and affectionate; hungry.

"Seriously though," he said softly, the teasing tone leaving his voice. "I’ve been thinking about kissing you all day." Without waiting for a response, he leaned in again, his lips meeting yours in a soft yet intense kiss. It was gentle at first, filled with warmth and tenderness. You felt your heart flutter as you responded, wrapping your arms around his neck. The second your fingertips made contact with the hair at the nape of his neck, the kiss quickly grew deeper and more heated, with Minho's hands finding their way to your waist, pulling you closer, nearly straddling you as his tongue found his way to yours.

His cats, curious and a bit envious of the attention you were getting from their favorite person started to crawl over you as Minho straddled you on the couch. Soonie even tried to nudge between you and Lee Know, swatting playfully at him as if to remind him that you they were his favorites not you.

Although times were changing.

Minho’s kisses were filled with a tense heat yet laced in a playful energy, each pull back for breath accompanied by a soft chuckle or a gentle murmur or moan. His kisses were sloppy and fervent. The nature of them giving away the impulsiveness behind to action.

The cats seemed to add a touch of chaos to the moment, their paws occasionally brushing against your legs or curling up beside you. You couldn’t help but laugh as one of the cats tried to join in on the action, its tiny paws batting at Lee Know’s arm.

Despite the interruptions, the kisses remained connected and tender; your tongues moving in a sultry and erotic rhythm, and full of emotion, each touch and caress conveying the depth of Minho’s feelings for you.

Conveying just how much desire was hidden in under his calm demeanor.

Eventually, you both pulled back, breathless and smiling, looking slightly deranged and messy.

Your boyfriend's eyes were fogged with affection and desire and a hint of mischief. Rather than discussing what had just happened, his thumb trailed across your mouth to gently and he changed the directory of any conversation that you could have brought up.

"I guess I’m not the only one who’s crazy about you," he said, glancing at the cats who were now lounging contentedly around you, giving up on their owner. Doongie and Dori looked down their noses as Minho while resting their paws on you; as if they were trying to communicate a sense of betrayal in a petty fashion. You laughed, running your fingers through the fur of the cat who had claimed your lap once Minho had hopped off of it to adjust himself.

"I guess not. But I think I’m okay with that."

Minho smiled leaning in to steal another quick kiss before reaching to grab his car keys.

"Good, because I plan on making you realize just how crazy I am about you everyday from now on. Im sure my babies will do the same." The cats continued to snuggle around you, their purring creating a soothing background to the warmth Minho's presence. It was a perfect, chaotic moment of affection—a first kiss that was uniquely Minho, playful, tender, unexpected and filled with the joyful presence of his feline friends.

"We need to get going, I have a schedule for us, and we're running a bit behind." He said. "I wonder why."

You got up and adjusted yourself, giving a few last pets to the cats, Dori and Doongie releasing soft mews in unison.

You were about to walk out the door when Minho stopped you again.

"You got something on your face, kitten." He said, swiping his thumb once across your cheek, wiping away some saliva with a wink.

Tags <3

@abovenyx @wolfs-archive @oddracha @iyeeeverydee @parisanmorovati @seungmincenteric @panbish-1209 @fxiry-vtt @sseawavee @shuporanporang @amarecerasus @softkisshyunjin @whoa-jo @meanergreener @rikibun @ayyonoona @shinywombatcrusade @y4yayael @skzstan12345 @mariteez @allys-reads @jazziwritesthings @skzstannie @yongbokkiesworld @kkkeopi @neverendingstay @moony-9 @minsungsthirdwheel

#skz stay #skz imagines #skz x reader #skz reactions #christopher bang #skz minho #lee minho #skz bangchan #skz requests #stray kids fanfic #stray kids #skz #stray kids x y/n #skz x gn reader

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unluckilyimnot · 8 months ago

Note

Hiii i love ur work so i wanted to request smth 🫶

Them with a s/o who is very short lol (like 5'0")

I would appreciate it if you could do this with rin, sae, yoichi and kaiser!!

Have a good day 🩷

Short s/o – rin, sae, yoichi, kaiser, hiori

m.list | rules

note: hiii thank you sm for your request <3 that’s basically my height so I know very much what it’s like

Rin

he doesn’t pay much attention at first, he’s not with you because of your height

but as time goes, he can get used to rest his head on top of yours

also pass his arm around your shoulders to bring him to him if necessary – he’s always kind of shy when your head hit his chest

loves it a lot when you sit between his legs to watch a movie because he can have you close and never worry about not seeing it well

you’ll only get confession about him liking it when it’s really late, sleep is already heavy on his eyes and he pulls you closer

you feel minuscule against his body and he’ll confess how down bad he is for you because you’re so small and cute, it pains him

never mention it tho, he’ll get sulky

Sae

acts normal about it but always hold your hand in the crowd because he’s scared to lose you

also scared to lose you in huge store so he just tag along – if you wear one particular piece that is colorful he’ll look for that instead

he once scold you because he lost you, but not before holding you close or kissing your forehead after checking you were alright

your forehead is were he kiss you the most in fact ‘cause it’s so easy access, it’s asking for it

hold you close to him when you sleep because, 1 he has to keep you warm, and 2 you’re so small he feels like he had to make sure nothing happens to you

deep down he’s down bad for it but doesn’t show it much and acts like he doesn’t care

he still put stuff on the top shelf sometimes for you to ask him for help

he got tricked a few times in fact because you just got on the furniture to get it yourself

his beige flag is that he manhandle you when you annoy him on purpose

Isagi

he’s the cutest ever I know that for sure

he’s afraid to offend you at first I think but he’s honest and tell you very quickly how cute you are, being so small

it never really stopped after that, even before you started dating he kept on telling you that you were cute

same as rin, he loooves to lay his head on top of yours

he bend to look at things with you but in a respectful, cute, head over heels for you way

holds you all the time when you’re home with him

hold him for behind, nuzzle your nose between his shoulders and he’s on his knees crying about how cute you are

fake crying about it sometimes (my gf does that)

he knows that not your whole personality but damn that’s still very cool to him to have a small s/o

Kaiser

he rest his arms on your head or shoulder to bother you all the time tbh

he’s annoying for sure but at the same time he’s probably whipped for you bc you’re so SMALL

he can grab you all the time so easily

the way you hit on his chest at best and your head rest on his arms when you’re tired and need to recharge

he loves to hold you to his chest in general

grab your chin up to kiss you or force you to go on tip toes to be able to kiss him

but also tells everyone you’re the cutest human being

he can’t help but melt if you pull his shirt or sleeve to kiss his cheeks or lips

you’ll catch him blush more than you might expected

he’s the type to tell you that you’re cute to tease you and see you blush

Hiori

he has a whole album on his phone dedicated to pictures you looks small, you know like those type of pictures for kpop idol

when you’re laying on a bed, rolled into a ball or if you’re standing a certain way and he founds you so cute

he can’t help but giggle every times and snap a picture

you’re totally aware of it the second he laugh that way and you ended up whining at him

probably the less shy after kaiser to tell you that he finds you cute

he wants to hold you close all the time I think, he’s in love with how small you feel against him

lays his head on your shoulder if he catches someone staring at you or if they’re flirting with you

but also does this to simply check what you’re looking at on your phone or read before your shoulder with you

I hope you liked it !

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maxillness · 8 months ago

Text

I Love You || Toro Rosso!SV5 x Engineer!Reader

Warnings: 18+, unprotected sex, taking virginity, virgin!seb, alcohol consumption, thigh grinding, praise kink, orgasm denial, nipple play, sub!seb

Wordcount: 1.6k

Tag list: @e-nonsense @babyprofessorsharkpalace

He knew it was wrong. He knew it was wrong to imagine it was her hand wrapped around his cock while he jerked himself off in his drivers room with her on the other side of the door

But, mein gott, did he want her bad

He loved seeing her hands work so delicately on his car, and absolutely anything around the garage

He loved seeing her hips sway slightly as she walked around the garage

He loved her

But she was a few years older than him, and well… He was a virgin, so, she probably didn’t want him the same way he wanted her

They were out celebrating his win. The whole team and some of the other drivers were at the closest club they could find

They were all drinking, talking, having fun. But she felt bad for Sebastian. She knew he had a hard time with flirting

So seeing a girl walk away from him after they had talked, made her stomach drop

She slowly walked over to him, sitting on the bar stool beside him, turning her body towards him

“I feel bad for you, Y’know?” She started by saying “That you have a hard time flirting” Taking a sip of her glass

“Didn’t want her” He avoided her gaze, feeling it boring into his soul

“Why? She’s pretty” He didn’t answer “Wait. Did you finally get a girlfriend?” She asked with a big smile on her lips

“What? No” He finally looked up at her with knitted eyebrows “Just have an eye on somebody else” He mumbled, feeling the heated crumbled up on his cheeks as he looked down into his almost empty glass

“Really? Who? I wanna know” She said, leaning more into his space

“It’s… I doesn’t matter” He said, trying to find the words before regretting it

“You obviously like her a lot if you’re going to reject such a pretty woman, so it must matter” She said, putting a hand on his upper thigh

He hid his face in his hand, hiding the blush away. She pulled his face to look at her, pushing his hand away. She smiled lightly seeing the blush on him

“Who is it, Sebastian?” She felt him relax into her touch

She didn’t expect his next actions. He pushed her hand away from his face, taking his own on the back of her neck, pulling her into him, smashing their lips together

He didn’t expect her to kiss back, he really didn’t. Neither did he expect her hand to travel further up his thigh, closer to where he needed her the most

The kiss was messy and wet, Sebastian clearly inexperienced

“Take me. Please” His grip loosened on her head, mumbling into her mouth, eyes still closed

“Seb-“ He attached their mouths again, cutting her off to say something he didn’t want to hear

She stood up from the stool, pulling away from him, earning her a whine from him. She dragged him with her, pulling them out of the club

She didn’t care if any of the others from the team saw them. He needed her, and she happily obliged

She was forcefully pushed up against the wall of the elevator, pushing the air out of her lungs

It hurt when she made contact, but it was soon no matter when Sebastian’s lips was on hers again

Her hands went from his waist down over his hips and settled neatly on his ass. She squeezed lightly, making him whimper into her mouth

He barely got a chance to grind his hips into hers when the door to the elevator opened. She pushed him off of her, pulling him with her down the hall

He held tightly on her hips, pressing his hard-on into her ass as she found her key-card. They had barely entered before she was yet again pressed up against the wall

His grip wasn’t hard, so she could easily turn them around, and so she did. She had him pressed up against the wall, pressing on his waist

“Just let me take care of you, Sebastian” She said, almost in a whisper, her lips grazing his neck

“What? N-no! Let me-“ He tried wriggling his body out of her grip, but with no use

“You’re inexperienced, Seb… Let me take care of you” She finally fully attached her lips to his neck, making him hold in a whimper

“I’m not inex-“ A moan ripped his words from his throat as she put her knees between his legs, pushing slightly at his crotch “Bitte…” He whimpered, pushing further down into her knee

“Wanna let me take care of you?” She said, smirking to his skin on his neck

“Fuck, yes, please” He started rolling his hips, using her thigh to get harder and more aroused

“Good Boy” He shivered when her cold fingers lingered on his body as she pulled his shirt over and off of him

Her hands went down his body, feeling his skin on her. Her hands stopped at the waistband of his pants, sucking lightly on the skin of his neck

“Bitte… Fuck me, please” He grabbed her wrist guiding one of her hands down to the button of his jeans

“So impatient” She grinned, soothing the bruises with her tongue

She worked on the button and zipper with one hand while the other pressed on his abdomen, stilling his motions on his hips

She noticed the wet spot on his boxers the second she pulled his pants down and let the fall to his ankles. She chuckled at the sight, making his knees feel weak

She put two of her fingertips on the wet patch, making him moan low and hold onto her biceps

“You’re so wet. All for me?” He shyly nodded his head “I need words” She said, pushing hard on him

“Yes! Yes, all for you. All because of you” His eyes were screwed shut and head rolled onto the wall behind him

“Thought so” She smirked and sank down to her knees, making her look up at him

He managed to open his eyes when she pulled down his boxers, making his fully hard cock spring free and land against his abdomen

She let them fall down with his pants before placing small kitten licks on his tip as she grabbed the back of his thighs

His moans were loud but breathy “Sheiße. Stop teasing, bitte” He tried rolling his hips into her mouth, but she pulled away “Please! Es tut mir leid!“

“Behave” She said, looking up at him with hooded eyes. He whined, but put his hips against the wall again “Good boy”

She got back to his tip, swirling her tongue around it, smirking as she heard the beautiful sounds she drew out of him

She finally gave him what he wanted. She sank down on him, hallowing her cheeks. She started setting a slow pace, making sure her tongue traced his vein every time

His body was already shaking slightly, his moans shuttering. She sped up, making his body shake even more rapidly

“I’m gonna-so close” He barely managed between his moans. She pulled off of him, earning her a whine from him “Why-“

“Wouldn’t want you to come to fast, now would we?” She asked kissing his lips softly “Step out” She mumbled into his lips, and he obeyed immediately

Her still clothed body guided him towards the bed, pushing him down lightly “It’s not fair” He pouted, hands tugging on her shirt

She chuckled, but obliged. She pulled her shirt over her head and pulled down her pants, leaving her just in her bra and panties

When she got her panties off, she sat in his lap. His hands went to her waist as her own on her back to unclasp her bra

His lips immediately went to one of her nipples, making her sigh in pleasure. Her hand tangled in his messy curls, soothing his scalp

“Lay on your back for me” She said, tugging lightly at his hair. He did so, still holding her waist

She bend down, lips going to his collarbone, kissing light kisses “We don’t have to if you don’t want to”

“No, no. I want to. Please” He said, arching his back off the bed

She chuckled, leaning back. She raised her hips, lining herself up with him. She slowly sank down on him, earning them both a moan

She let herself adjust to him before starting a slow pace. He gripped her thighs tightly, encouraging her to go faster

She found a steady rhythm, meeting his upwards thrusts halfway. Her hands and arms trembled as she placed them beside his head

“God, you’re taking me so well” He whimpered at her words, blushing “Filling me up so good” She kept praising him, kissing over his face

“Fuck, feels so good” He whimpered, his eyes screwed shut, head rolled into the bed and arched back

His body was starting to shake again “Are you gonna come for me, Sebastian?” She teased, one of her hands going to her clit, circling it

“Yes, fuck, so close” His voice was shaking as well, barely understandable words coming out

“Come for me, good boy” It only took a few thrusts before he came, holding her down onto him

The feeling of him filling her up sent her over the edge, her whole body shaking. She caught his lips in a soft kiss as his breathing came back to normal

She pulled off of him, earning her a whine from him. She went to the bathroom, finding a damp towel, cleaning them both up

She pulled the sheets over his body before laying down beside him, his back pressed against her front

“You okay?” She asked, wrapping her arm around him, kissing his shoulder

“Mhm” He said, nodding, obviously too tired to answer “I love you” He managed out anyways

She was startled at his words, but smiled anyways, pulling his body further into hers

#smut #formula one #dom!reader #Sebastian vettel #Sebastian vettel smut #Sebastian vettel x reader #Sebastian vettel x reader smut #sub!sebastian vettel

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cinnamonest · 11 months ago

Text

Uhtceare

Yandere Ayato x Reader - "Failed escape attempt" series

(I still cannot publish posts that have people tagged. I don't know why, it just gives me an error popup saying it couldn't be processed. Apologies to those in my taglist.)

Warning: DARK CONTENT, noncon/dubcon, implications of forced/coerced marriage, masturbation voyeurism that’s also kinda forced, manipulative use of mental health and problematic way of addressing it, gaslighting and psychological manipulation, implied future forced drugging, there’s just a lot of my man being awful here

------------

“Ah, there you are.”

Of course. He would be right there at the entrance waiting, wouldn’t he.

You were hoping to get a few more seconds to put off the inevitable, but the reality of your situation was not so kind as to grant you that. It was all far too fast — the full events of the night before, the journey of being dragged back here — flanked on all sides by doushin all the while — all went by in a blur, leading up to this very dreaded moment.

You kept your gaze turned to the ground, unable to bring yourself to make eye contact. Your fingers curled, digging into the fabric around your thighs.

Nonetheless, without even hesitating nor willing it, you found your feet moving on their own. Perhaps it was instinct, to get away from the unfamiliar men that made you so uncomfortable and uneasy, and into the arms that, despite everything, were at least familiar, and thereby a comfort at the end of your long trial of distress and misery. Maybe you knew it was expected, and feared some consequence for not acting as you knew you should. Or maybe some of both.

Regardless, your feet shuffled forward, any thoughts muted in favor of instinct as you bounded over towards your husband — as much as you hated to acknowledge it, your one source of comfort. As you grew close, he reached an arm out, hand firmly planting itself on your back and pulling you in. Perhaps out of that same sense of fear at the thought of disobeying expectations, perhaps out of pure exhaustion, you allowed it without struggle coming to stand directly by his side, grasping at his clothes, burying your head against him and squeezing your eyes shut as if it would obscure the others’ view of you.

“I can’t thank you enough. You have no idea how worried I was about her,” he spoke to the arrangement of men now standing a ways away, moving his hand on to rest atop your head. “I apologize for the inconvenience. The poor thing gets a bit irrational from time to time. You know how it is.”

The other men only gave a brief, curt sound of acknowledgement. One, the own standing closest to the two of you based on how close the voice sounded, seemed to deem it appropriate to give at least some response. “Of course, sir.”

Not that that actually made any sense, that such a bizarre thing to say could ever warrant an ‘of course’ as a reply. But they weren’t there to be sensible, to assess the situation and act according to any supposed principles. To help. They were there only to follow through with an assigned task, one that they had not even tried to conceal in their expressions and tones towards you was an unwanted inconvenience, and to turn a blind eye to any conclusions they might draw.

Maybe that too was intentional — the estate lord could have easily sent his private forces to be the ones to escort you back to the estate, yet he chose to allow the public law enforcement to return you. Perhaps he knew you’d grown to resent the family’s private forces, and thereby had no issue inconveniencing them, whereas he knew you’d feel more embarrassment and guilt having strangers be forced to bring you all the way back… yes, the more you thought about it, that certainly seemed like that was his intent.

“I hope she didn’t give you too much trouble?”

“Not at all, sir.”

“Ah, I see, that’s good to hear.”

Your hands balled into fists.

The whole show made of it all was utterly humiliating — that too no doubt the intention — but you had no choice but to stand there. Doing something rash like running off to hide yourself from the embarrassment would only meet a worse consequence later.

The burning, bitter anger only made said embarrassment that much worse. It was consuming, maddening. Everything — this place, these people, their words and their attitudes, their dismissal of you as if you were a child or an animal — it made you so damn mad, and yet, you could do nothing but endure.

Your eyes burned. You blinked a few times in rapid succession. You couldn’t forgive yourself if you actually cried in front of these strangers. The back-and-forth between the two parties continued, but you did your best to tune out the words, knowing that listening would only hurt you further.

It wasn’t until there was movement that you returned your attention to them, pulling your head away from him to look — now they were turning, walking away.

Leaving you alone with him.

You then dared not avert your eyes from the ground, watching the men from your peripheral vision as they made their way down the path, growing smaller and smaller and they moved further away, until their footsteps were no longer audible.

All that remained was a heavy, palpable tension.

Avoidance was the easiest path — a foolish choice, of course, which you knew full well. It wasn't as if you could avoid the present reality forever, but nonetheless, you found yourself clinging to each precious second that ticked by, body growing stiffer as you braced yourself for the inevitable. Perhaps you could trick yourself into believing that if you just kept your gaze turned to the ground, nothing would happen.

But sure enough, you clenched your jaw as his hand moved upwards, and came to rest on your shoulder.

“Come on now. You're certainly tired. Let’s get you to rest for a while.”

His voice only made your stomach twist further. It was calm and gentle, not explosive or infuriated. It would have felt more assuring that way, if your fear could just be easily confirmed, rather than a calculated calm that felt far more dreadful and foreboding than any rage.

His hand moved from your shoulder, coming down to grasp your wrist. It wasn’t a sudden, harsh motion, nor was the grip itself strong enough as to be painful — but it was noticeably firm.

And then, he pulled. A soft tug, pulling you in the direction of the doors.

Your resistance was not a conscious choice, not something you thought about nor had any time to do so; it was only a reflex. Instinctively, your body stiffened, your feet dug into the ground, and thus his pull was met not with the meek obedience that was expected of you, with footsteps that followed where you were guided, but instead a firm resistance.

Your own realization of that resistance, what you’d just done, sent a sharp rush of fear through your veins.

And thus, for the first time since arriving, your gaze tilted upward, and your wide, frightened eyes met his.

His expression shifted. The amiable, pleasant smile half-faded, still present, but only barely.

“…Don't be difficult. Come on.”

Likewise, his voice dropped far lower, a dark and foreboding tone far removed from the one he’d spoken with just moments ago to the other men.

Your mouth opened, instinctively wanting to reply, but you couldn't summon a coherent thought. You were afraid, you were angry, you were so, so embittered and ashamed and wanted nothing more than to run to your room, close your eyes and burrow into the bed.

And for a moment, you considered the compliant option. If you just lowered your head and followed along, apologized and insisted you were just being petty or immature or whatever he would call it this time, and took whatever consequence was handed out, then you could do just that, confine yourself to your bed and try to forget it all.

But the shame only fueled the fury, like gasoline to a fire. It was his fault. As scared of punishment as you were, your pride could not stand for simply bowing your head, and as your mind raced, the sheer fury you’d been stewing in all throughout the night before, all the angry words you’d monologued in your head and vowed to spew at him when you saw him again, all came rushing back.

You swallowed, fingers curling even harder around the fabric around your thighs. Now that it was just the two of you, although you still fought it as best as you could, you couldn’t help that your eyes watered, burning as your vision blurred out of pure frustration and misery.

“I… I know you did all of this on purpose! I only got all the way out there because you let me, a-and…”

The words came out in a trembling, wavering voice, far weaker than intended.

He exhaled a heavy sigh, closing his eyes in frustration. His voice was still characteristically gentle, but you could hear his patience waning. “We can discuss this inside.”

“But I—”

“Inside.”

You stiffened, freezing in place. That was not a tone you heard often in your married life, more firm than normal.

You swallowed, gaze darting to the ground again, unable to summon a reply and not wanting to make eye contact again. With another heavy exhale, he pulled at your arm with a gentle tug, and this time, you followed, feet quickly shuffling behind his.

You didn’t say a word, though, through the full minute or so of walking across the courtyard, through the front doors, down the hall, only dimly lit today due to curtains hanging over the windows lining the walls. It occurred to you with a sinking feeling in your stomach that you were headed straight for your shared bedroom, rather than one of the estate’s many drawing rooms and lounges, which meant the anticipated conversation to come would be one you’d both want kept in privacy. Your stomach felt as if it were turning in knots, your chest compressed by an unseen force, each breath feeling strenuous and weighted.

And then, finally, you both came to a halt as you reached the last room at the end of the hall. You felt helpless, unable to do anything as you watched the handle of the door turn, stumbling in as you were guided forward by the hand that came to gently press on your lower back.

Likewise, equally pitifully, you could do nothing but stand there and wait as you listened for the door to close behind you, clenching your jaw at the trepidation in your chest from the footsteps on the floor behind you, but made sure to not let your fear swallow your fury.

“Now,” he began slowly as he moved around you to the other side of the room, voice now back to its usual tone, but still firm nonetheless, “I can tell you have a great deal you want to get off your chest, but you’ll have to forgive me for a moment… your well-being is my primary concern.” He looked you up and down, and his voice took on a note of concern that admittedly sounded sincere. “You aren’t hurt in any way, are you, dear?”

You bit your lip at the affectionate term, and more importantly, at how unbothered he came across. Granted, you now knew just how much of the past twelve hours or so had been entirely within his control, so it made sense that he was never genuinely distressed, but admittedly, it was also disappointing. Part of you wanted him to have been panicked and worried, to get the satisfaction of knowing you’d successfully gotten under his skin.

Still, you shook your head, keeping your gaze to the ground as you gave a curt, frustrated reply. “No.”

“Good,” his eyes closed for a moment, taking a heavy breath of pause. “Well, in that case…” He leaned back against the wall, folding his arms. “I believe this would be the best time to give you a moment to explain yourself.”

You couldn’t miss the obvious foreboding in his voice, nor the way it made your body stiffen.

But you had already prepared for that — you knew it would be intimidating, that it would be awkward and shameful, but you had spent the previous few hours trying to preemptively harden your resolve against that. Besides, after it was interrupted earlier, you now had the chance to get back to what was essentially the pre-written script you’d memorized in your head of exactly every little thing you wanted to say to him.

Unfortunately, as it turned out, the you that was standing there in front of him was significantly less brave than the ‘you’ in the scenes you’d played out in your head on the journey home.

Still, you clenched your hands into fists, thinking you had to at least force him to acknowledge the one point you’d deemed most important.

“You let me leave.”

In your mind, you’d spoken with a bold voice and looked him directly in the eye… and while the same words came out of your mouth, they were instead said with a weak, shrill attempt at an accusatory tone, pathetically looking to the wall as you found yourself unable to summon the gall to look up, once more lacking the firm accusation and self-assuredness your imaginative self had had.

He tilted his head. “That’s not a very accurate way to put it. I never granted you any such permission… I was simply aware of your intent to run off, and didn’t stop you.”

For a moment, you contemplated asking how he knew — but you had a feeling the answer would only make you more upset. His voice was laden with a faux sincerity, a sort of disingenuousness that made your blood boil, enough to embolden you further as you continued.

“And you… you had people following me the whole time, I know you did!” Your voice began to get louder as you grew bolder, bitter anger strengthening you against any trepidation. “They didn't even do a good job! I started noticing them towards the end of it!”

"Well, that would be because they were specifically told that concealment was not necessary.” He kept up the dry manner of speech, seemingly unbothered by your fury. “They deserve a break from high effort jobs every now and then, surely you understand. Besides, they didn’t directly interfere with your little outing, yes?”

He was so calm in contrast to your visible irritation, no doubt at least in part deliberate. It only served to make you even more mad.

“They told the local doushin to — no, you told them to tell them! There’s no other way that could have happened! I-I, I got," in sheer frustration, you jerked your fists in a sharp downward motion, "arrested!"

“I’m very well aware.”

“They put me in jail!”

“I do believe that is the standard process for an arrest, yes.”

“I was all by myself for hours!”

“Naturally. I couldn’t allow you to be placed with any dangerous persons, that’s why you were put in a solitary space.”

You clenched your fists so hard they trembled. “You, y-you let me get that far in the first place, and, and…” A lump formed in your throat again, which you did your best to suppress. “…Just to make me go through all that… I was there for hours before they came for me…” Your face scrunched up as you fought the urge to cry.

You hung your head, shoulders falling as you let your body relax, the fuse of anger burning out as it turned to a quiet bitterness swelling in your stomach. What was even the point? You knew better than to think your emotions would be given any weight, treated as anything beyond trivial.

A few moments of quiet passed, perhaps to see if you would say anything more, or perhaps just to force you to wait in uncomfortable uncertainty. After a moment, he shifted his posture slightly before unfolding one arm, holding out his hand in a standard gesture of speech.

“And what have we learned?”

You never would have thought one question could send such a spark of fury through your body in a single moment. Everything, from the wording to the timing to his tone, felt utterly mocking, infantilizing in a way that made you seethe.

You swallowed, practically trembling. “That you’ll go to any lengths to humiliate me?”

He returned the extended arm to its former position, exhaling heavily, straightening his stance. “It's rather unfair to assume I had such malicious intent. Stopping you early on in the past has clearly not worked in the long term, so further measures were necessary.” He tilted his head to meet your averted gaze, reflexively turning your attention back to him, eyes connecting with yours. “My only intention was that you would have some time to reflect on your series of decisions… and hopefully return with a change of heart. These episodes of yours are worrisome.” He gave a brief pause before finishing, “claiming I had cruel intent when you know in your heart that I only arranged this because I care for you… that's rather harsh, isn't it?”

You clenched your jaw, refusing to acknowledge the notion that the words were genuine. Admittedly having fallen for the words die a moment, you mentally shook off the momentary feeling of guilt.

These situations always went the same way, you'd be driven to apologize and feel bad about your choices. You had never met anyone else in your life with such a mastery of speech-craft as to be able to control your emotions and actions with words as easily as if it were pushing buttons on a machine. The first few times, you'd actually fallen for it, found yourself completely malleable, psyche bending and shifting to another's whims. At least with time, you'd become more resilient, had learned to notice and recognize the attempts… so you believed.

You opted to avoid answering the quesiton. Instead of acknowledging his own words, you turned to another matter that had come to mind during your escapade.

“Aren’t you abusing your authority? How are you even allowed to do this to begin with?!”

He took another deep breath, as if it were a trivial matter, or one that shouldn’t necessitate explanation.

“It’s… complicated, but the law does fully permit estates to employ local forces to locate any missing property belonging to the estate… people employed or bound to it are a sort of grey area in that regard.” After a moment of pause, he added, “besides, I also made it very clear that you were not in your right mind at the time, so your wellbeing was of immediate concern, and they were happy to help.”

“What?” The anger in your tone only rose. “I was perfectly in my right mind, you, you… a-and I’m not…”

A few moments passed as you trailed off, having to pause to collect yourself, blink away frustrated tears.

He opened his mouth as if to respond, but seemed to decide against whatever he'd considered saying, closing his eyes and taking a breath before finally replying in a more exasperated tone.

“You're making yourself upset needlessly. I can only do so much… in the end, I only wanted to keep you safe. You have to be the one to accept the grace you're given. Wouldn't that be easier for you?”

There was still unease to his tone, but the way he said it was nonetheless indicative of a sort of tiredness, as if not wanting to carry on about the matter anymore. It almost sounded like he was saying that you “accepting” his “grace” was all that was required to bury the matter entirely.

You spoke slowly, cautiously.

“You’re not… mad?”

“…I never said that.” He shifted away from leaning against the wall, standing upright. ”Of course, I can’t allow this to go entirely unacknowledged.”

He took a few steps towards you, and you fought the urge to step back, keeping your arms rigidly straight at your side as he continued.

“Normally, a proper form of consequence would be in order… however, after consideration, I realized that this was in large part my own fault, and I owe it to you to take responsibility for that.”

The words took you by surprise. The idea that he was in any way acknowledging that he had any responsibility for what you did was baffling, all things considered. He had never once even acknowledged that refusing to let you leave the estate was essentially holding you prisoner, and usually insisted that everything he did was what was best for you, even if, as he seemed to believe was the case, you did not understand that.

You hesitated before replying. “What… what do you mean?”

He flashed you an amiable smile. “A lesser person would only act on their momentary frustrations, but I’m not the sort of person who acts without understanding the situation. Luckily, I do understand you.” He looked off to the side, holding a hand up to his chin in a pensive pose, before adding in a quieter voice, “I made the mistake of getting too caught up in my work recently. Acting out over feelings of neglect is entirely different from misbehavior out of sheer petulance.”

He turned his head back towards you again before finishing,

“It would be cruel to respond to a cry for attention as if it were ordinary disobedience.”

The words took you aback, and you hesitated in your response, but as it fully registered in your mind, the momentary surprise was replaced with shameful fury. You held your arms firmly at your side, hands balled into fists as you replied.

“What?! I didn't— I didn’t do it for attention!”

You felt foolish for thinking for even a second that he might actually empathize with you, might finally come to enough humility to realize that much of your perceived disobedience was due to the sheer degree of meticulous, total control he held over everything you did. But no, instead, your attempt to run away was being treated as attention-seeking. It felt belittling, degrading.

He took a short breath, as if about to say something, but as his gaze fell upon you again, he simply exhaled, an amused smile forming on his face, replacing the former exasperation — and only infuriating you further, realizing even your anger wouldn't be taken seriously.

“Yes, yes, of course.” He made no effort to hide the dismissive amusement in his voice, either, but cleared his throat before returning to a more neutral tone before you could give any retort. “Regardless, you've been through a lot already. If you can be mature and calm down, make some acknowledgement of the trouble you’ve caused and show some remorse, then, I'm willing to somewhat overlook this.” Making direct contact between your eyes and his, he finished, “Won’t that be easier on us both?”

The obvious dismissal of your statement and implications of what he thought made your face feel hot. The embarrassment that had already been weighing down on you now became suffocating, and the utter arrogance of the presumption of your willingness to comply made you so upset it felt nauseating.

“What does ‘somewhat’ mean?” You tried to suppress the irritation in your voice.

He gave another heavy sigh. “Should you really be asking for specifics? It’s your best course of action regardless.”

You opened your mouth and inhaled as if to speak, holding your closed fists up to your chest, ready to spew every ounce of vitriol you’d been building up, and then, you fell silent as your eyes met.

His expression grew dark, eyes half-lidded and features blank — not contorted with anger nor curiosity, but merely waiting, watching, warning. Anticipating your defiance, prepared to react accordingly.

You looked down, hesitating.

Was it really worth it…? A few moments of lashing out, at what cost? ‘Consequences’ hurt, in one sense or another, they always did, no matter what form that word took.

You swallowed. He was right — one path before you was wiser.

You hung your head.

“…I’m sorry…”

Even with your gaze turned downward, you could see his eyes widen just a bit in your peripheral vision, not having expected such quick compliance — understandably so, based on your past incidents. But after a moment, his expression softened. He took another step, closing the gap between you, cupping your face in his hands and forcing you to lift your head back up.

“Mm. I’m glad you understand. You know, you've matured quite a bit recently.”

You almost, almost found yourself feeling happy at the praise, but then pushed that feeling away. It was part of the way he did things, part of the process, so you'd slowly come to recognize, putting the pieces together over and over until you became aware of how he managed to bring you down to submission each time. You refused to be swayed by that. You were only giving it up and apologizing because it was the was the easier, less painful choice… so you reminded yourself. Now, at least, you'd be done with this, could move on and quietly begin plotting again.

But then, as you felt his hand move down to your shoulder, then to your waist, you remembered the ‘somewhat.’

Yes, of course it couldn’t be left at that, wouldn’t be so simple as forcing you into humility just once.

You knew that full well. These checks of obedience after an act of disobedience never came solitary, and the desire for that subservience to be affirmed was not easily satiated. It would only grow deeper, an increasing hunger for your subservience. Pushing your pride further and further down, carving into your personhood and whittling away anything deemed unfitting. It would only go further, debasing you in increasingly violating ways.

You felt a gnawing in your stomach. You hadn’t thought of that part, in the moment, but the realization now made your heartrate begin to accelerate once more.

His eyes drifted downward.

“…Ah, right. The clothes you’re wearing, we need to have a servant wash them for you. Just set them by the door for now.”

You looked down. You hadn’t even bothered to think about it until now, having been so preoccupied with other thoughts, but indeed, the oh-so-nice and expensive clothing you’d been so lovingly lavished with, was now fully coated in grime and dirt.

At the same time, your immediate instinct was to protest the idea, knowing the intent. He wasn’t going to get you a replacement — which he himself would need to do, seeing as all of your clothing was, no doubt deliberately, kept outside the bedroom itself, and it had been established early on that you were to rely on him or servants to fetch whatever he would have you wear that day for you. Was the command too, then, intentional?

The very moment you even asked yourself the question, though, came the immediate answer, making you feel foolish for even questioning it. Of course it was intentional, planned — what wasn’t, anymore, in your life? You remembered looking back, on the day you were brought here, thinking over the past with borderline horror at the realization of how intricately detailed and precise every detail had been in his effort — what you now were certain was a premeditated plan — to get your family to call off the years-long betrothal you’d already been in, and marry you off to him instead. That realization of it all had kept you rightfully afraid of him, knowing he was always one step ahead of whatever you might attempt.

The corners of your mouth pulled taut with embarrassment, and you pulled your hands in towards your chest again, elbows pressed firmly to your sides. “That’s…”

He caught a glimpse of your face, and in turn smiled, an amused sort of expression. “Come on now,” he took a step towards you, reaching out and grasping at your hands, pulling them out of their defensive position, “even now, you’re still so shy over this?”

“I— no, I’m not—” you cut off, teeth clacking together as you snapped your mouth shut when his hands released yours, instead moving around to the binding ties of your outfit, pulling the knot apart.

You held your hands up to the level of your shoulders, bent at the elbow, fingers curled as if preparing to reach forward, to grasp at his hands, to do something.

But you didn’t.

The exchange was itself a means of conversation, communicating something not fully articulable by word alone. Violating your comfort and dignity, baring you to him, those things themselves were an assertion, a statement. To interrupt would be to challenge that assertion, to deny him. And perhaps it was, in part, also a test, a question of whether or not you would dare to deny the unspoken statement.

As the silk strands came undone, the first layer gave way to the second, and pulling apart that knot caused the fabric bound by it to slide apart, exposing your bare skin to the cool air.

An unspoken reminder that your body was not your own, that any right to autonomy and privacy you might have beyond this room, no longer existed within it. Access to you was not a privilege granted by your permission, but an inherent right, provided by the very contract that legally bound you to him.

The casual, unhesitating manner with which you were stripped down only emphasized that that very reality itself was not something to be regarded as of any great significance, but a fact accepted as readily as any other. Exposing you, touching you, exercising that unconditional access to your body was given no greater thought than utilizing any of one’s possessions.

There was nothing he could ever say to you, nor adequate words to even exist, to fully encapsulate the degree to which you were owned — but with that gesture, you understood all the same.

And even though the humiliation of the reminder made your eyes burn, made you bite your lip, you lowered your hands to your side. An admission of defeat, surrender.

It did not go unnoticed. He smiled.

“Very good. You’re behaving much better today than I anticipated.”

Another moment of praise. He was genuinely pleased. You could see it and hear it through his face and voice.

Were it on any other matter, you might have felt proud to be praised in such a sweet, charming voice. If the praise were on something you actually wanted to achieve.

And then, his eyes trailed downward, running over your body, taking in each detail. His eyebrows furrowed as his gaze settled on one particular spot.

“You really shouldn't lie to me,” he spoke in a quiet, low voice.

At first, you felt a momentary panic, not quite sure what he even meant, thinking you had somehow made a unintentional transgression. It wasn't until you looked down that you saw the scrape just below your collarbones from your, admittedly unsightly, vigorous resistance upon initial confrontation with the doushin the night prior, having essentially had to have been wrestled down to the concrete street. In hindsight, you were even surprised with yourself for putting up such a fight, but at the time it had just been the instinctive reflex, fueled by desperation.

It all felt distant now, as if further back in time than it was, the memory all blurring together. It was only a very small mark, and had now scabbed up as part of the natural healing process, but as his fingers brushed over the spot, you still tensed at the slight lingering sting.

“It doesn't really hurt,” you replied nonetheless. “It's fine…”

He only straightened back upright, closing his eyes momentarily.

“I suppose I shouldn't have expected common doushin to be able to follow instructions… just so you know, I did specifically say to ensure you weren't hurt in any way.” He turned his gaze downward, hand held to his chin as he added in a low mutter, “I'll be sure to only use private hands in the future, should I need something like this again.”

You shrugged, turning your eyes downward to the floor once more. Really, you wanted to not have to think about the incident any further, the mere memory stirring up embarrassment, which did not combine well with your already vulnerable state. “It's fine. It's not a big deal,” you grumbled. After a moment of hesitation, feeling another urge of spite, you added, “it wouldn't have happened if you didn't… do all that.”

He huffed in exasperation, but was quiet for the moment, seemingly composing his thoughts before replying.

“Don’t be disagreeable. We've discussed this. I care for you dearly, but that does not mean that you are exempt from expectations to behave.”

He always gave you that line — that a behavioral matter of yours had been previously ‘discussed,’ which merely meant he'd told you not to do something, or behave a certain way. That was the end-all-be-all — whatever you were told was set in stone the moment it left his mouth, and transgressing against the standard that was set was often treated as if you’d forgotten, as if it slipped your mind, the idea of intentional and deliberate disobedience being something unthinkable to such a degree that simply having done so by accident were more believable to him — and perhaps you ought be grateful for that.

You clamped your jaw shut, turning your head downward.

His gaze turned back to your body.

“…Your nerves are unsettled.” His hand slid it's way down your side, the feeling of touch lingering in a trail behind as his palm brushed over the curvature of your waist. “See, that's what causes these irrational episodes of yours. Stress, overexcitement. It just… builds naturally for you, over time.” After a moment, taking in your expression, he added, “it's nothing to feel bad about, dear. I don't mind helping you with it at all… I'm glad I can do so, really. I worry about how you'd manage without having me to help.”

You hesitated before giving a response. “What… what do you mean? I'm not… irrational…”

It was as if your words went in one ear and out the other, continuing on without responding to your objection. “But again, I failed to keep it in check this time, so this was ultimately my own fault… I'll have to make a note to be more thorough.”

His hand grasped at your waist, pulling you close. His other hand reached up, cupping your breast. He looked over towards your shared bed.

“Come on. Let's get you in bed.”

“Huh? But—”

His grip tightened. “Don't be difficult.”

Your stomach began to churn. You were still angry. The last thing you wanted was to go through what was essentially a humiliation ritual. There was something about the act itself — at least, between the two of you — that made you feel embarrassed and ashamed. The inherent vulnerability, for one, but moreover, because you knew the intent, you knew the way he viewed it in his mind, could practically feel the sentiment. An act of claiming, an exchange of power in which your loss of dignity became his gain of pride and control. Carving into your very personhood, marking you as something belonging to him.

Your opened your mouth, but whatever you intended to say was cut off by your small noise of surprise as you were pulled forward, in a manner that was somehow so gentle in touch, yet forceful enough to move your whole body towards his. His arm wrapped around your frame, the other positioning itself underneath your thighs before lifting you up and moving down to sit.

You fidgeted, tried to pull away — but his grip tightened, as much to secure you as it was a warning, telling you to hold still.

“It's for your sake. This will help you… you may not realize that yet, but you’ll thank me, I promise.”

His hands moved to your hips and turned you so that your back rested against his chest.

“As I was saying, you simply… build stress and neurosis, naturally. It's not your fault, really. You're just sensitive to changes, stressors... Every individual has at least some… defects in their nature.”

His hands retracted, and there was a brief rustling sound before they returned to your skin, now ungloved, flesh on flesh. The contact sent sparks through your nerves.

“That's why people pair with those they are compatible with. They fill each other's needs, compliment each other’s natures… I’m obligated to take those defects and resolve them.”

He gave you a smile — you couldn't see it, but could feel it as his lips pressed softly against your neck. Warm, full of sincerity and adoration.

“I wouldn’t do that if it weren’t out of care… and you in turn provide me with something that needs care and guidance. I enjoy having that.”

For all his attempts at soothing words and the gentleness of the touch, you knew in your heart that there was no doubt that that was part of the intent — to humble you, to tame you and make you docile, to make you submit. Forcing you to such a vulnerable state and inflicting reactions of pleasure was itself an act of exerting power and control.

It was, in a way, remarkable, that the human spirit could not only be broken by both brutal cruelty, but equally — or, perhaps even more effectively — eroded away with a gentle voice and touch, humiliation so deeply intertwined with affection that they became impossible to distinguish from each other, forming a unique sentiment that was both one and the other.

You were endearing to him, but that affection for you was like a venom that ran through your veins — an affection that diminished you, reduced you to some inhuman possession, a toy to be manipulated in any way he desired.

It made you feel sick. It made you feel angry, it tormented your psyche—

Your thoughts were turned to a haze as his fingers rolled your nipple between them. You inhaled a sharp gasp, back arching forward.

Processing your own reaction, embarrassment took place of the momentary pleasure, and your face felt hot. You reached an arm up instinctively to cover your breasts, pulling away from the touch.

“…We've had this conversation before, haven't we?” He reached up, grasping your jaw with a grip just firm enough to communicate a warning.

You swallowed and, albeit not without just a moment of hesitation, lowered your arm. You looked down, breasts now exposed fully. “I'm… sorry…”

He gave you a hum of approval, returning to the former fondling, fingers playing with the sensitive flesh. You bit your lip, breathing growing labored.

After a few minutes, his hands wandered downward, slowly, softly, down to your thighs, then back up over your hips, where they finally settled.

“Touch yourself.”

The command caught you off-guard. Your eyes widened. “…What?”

“Before I help you,” he murmured, “I want to see what you will do for me. That's only fair, don't you think?” He squeezed at your waist.

“Prove to me…” he leaned forward, breath hot against your ear, “that you know your place. Do as I say.”

You swallowed.

It was in your best interest to obey.

You reached down slowly, shivering as your fingers brushed over your clit. You pressed down, beginning to rub your outstretched fingers back and forth. With your other hand, you reached up, tweaking your nipple just enough to send pleasure through your nerves.

“There you go.” He pulled you a bit closer to him, so your bodies were firmly pressed together. He craned his neck, no doubt catching your abashed, embarrassed expression.

Not that he would give you any words of comfort on that matter, tell you not to feel embarrassed. He only smiled, grasping your hair and forcing your head to turn, pressing your mouth to his. It was only a short contact, parting with the softest of sounds.

His grip on your hip tightened, and you realized why he’d pulled back when he spoke.

“Don’t stop.”

You hadn’t realized you had, too focused on the slight surprise to being kissed. You took a shuddering breath, and resumed the motion. Your eyes closed, heightening your senses — the sensation of each touch and the shockwaves it sent through your core to every nerve in your body.

Your breathing quickly became labored. Even if you were inducing the sensation itself, it was good. You bit your lip as a soft, weak little sound came out of your throat, unable to refrain from vocalizing at the intensity of the feeling.

“Not just like that.” One of his hands reached down to your thigh, hand wrapping around the underside of it and pulling it to the side, spreading you open further. “Go on.”

“Mm…” You couldn’t summon any particular words, overwhelmed by the conflicting sensations — the heat to your face and knot in your stomach at the shameless way your body was so exposed, at the feeling of being watched as if the act were a performance, and the haze of arousal that rapidly began to cloud your judgement, obscuring the feeling of discomfiture, drowning your inhibition.

Even without the pleasure compromising your hesitation, you didn’t want to think about the alternatives if you refused to obey — this was thus far, comparatively, far from the worst consequences you’d ever received for acting out.

You reached down further, pushing two of your fingers past the slick coating your flesh and inside your body, curling them into the spot that made you tense, made your muscles spasm, over and over, each movement sparking a rush that surged throughout your body.

Each breath was a deep gasp. Your toes curled, your muscles went taut and your insides clenched around your own fingers.

But something was missing.

It was pleasurable, but there just wasn’t enough to push you over the edge. The sensations were too weak.

Your body had been conditioned something more, and this was not comparable.

Sweat began to accumulate on your skin as you kept curling your fingers, desperately chasing a high. His arm moved from your hip to wrap around your waist, pressing another kiss to your neck.

You tried. Frustration began to build. Your eyes watered as you curled your fingers as hard as you could, pressed as far in as they would go, down to the knuckle.

It wasn’t deep enough.

It wasn't what you were used to. Your fingers were too short, just short of reaching that one perfect spot that made you lose yourself in pleasure, melting to a mewling mess.

You shuddered. You couldn’t reach a climax, no matter how hard you tried to focus. Even without orgasm, though, your exertion reached a peak you couldn’t carry on further from, and your fingers stopped moving as you went limp, trying to catch your breath, frustration and desperation nearly enough to make you cry. Your head fell back, eyes closed as you panted.

You could feel the corners of his mouth upturn against the flesh of your neck.

“…Is something wrong?”

Your jaw clenched, and you swallowed the lump in your throat.

That was the other goal of it, besides proving yourself to him — it was also to prove something to you. Something you didn’t want to admit out loud, something that made your chest swell with bitterness just to admit to yourself, much more so to do so aloud.

“I can’t… I can't do it.”

“Mm.” He pulled you further back against him. “Then, what do you need?”

The tingling sensation, the desperate need, the remnant frustration of lost pleasure, was too much to bear. You swallowed your pride, closing your eyes as you forced the words out.

“…I need you to do it…”

You were expecting him to say something in return, but for a moment, he was only quiet. He began to drum his fingers back and forth against your waist.

“Is that so?”

You nodded again, which seemed to be to his displeasure—

“Use your words.”

“Yes…” You swallowed.

You waited, but no touch came.

“Hm. How odd.” His voice was low and quiet, but unmistakably derisive. “You seemed to think you were perfectly capable of caring for yourself, running off like you did.”

Your eyes welled with tears. You shook your head back and forth, unable to bring yourself to speak.

“No?” His hand trailed downward until it ghosted over your sex, the lightest of touches, borderline torment. “Then, you can't do this for yourself?”

“…No…”

He moved his face even closer, speaking directly into your ear.

“Then what do you say? Tell me exactly what you need. Show me.”

You swallowed. The burning of humiliation in your chest was almost too much to bear. Had your insides not still been alight with the wavering, tight feeling of need, your pride would have outweighed your desire. But in that moment, it did not.

You spread your still-quivering legs wide apart.

“…Please touch me.”

“Mm. And what do you want from that? For how long?”

You squeezed your eyes shut.

“I want to cum.”

Finally — finally — his fingers pressed down against your clit, enough pressure to send waves of pleasure up your spine.

“There, see…” He pressed another kiss to your face. “Aren't things so much easier when you just choose to be honest?”

You nodded. “Yes. I… I’m sorry…”

He gave a low hum of acknowledgement. “This stubbornness is just your nature.” His fingers slid back and forth, gracing the bundle of nerves with friction. “But that can be fixed.”

You bit your lip. “I… I’m not— ah—”

One motion of his hand was particularly firm, the sensation it sent through your nerves so intense it was almost painful. Your hands shot forward, grasping at his wrist.

It was only when the motion stopped that you realized you’d erred — it was a habit of reflexively grabbing at his hands when a sensation was too intense, trying to pry them off — something he very much did not like you doing.

Sure enough, he sighed, frustration blatantly evident. You jerked your hands away, but it was already too late to take back the first offense.

“…Now,” he started, “Can you refrain from doing that again, or do I need to bind them?”

“I…” you paused, realizing you genuinely needed to think it through. You weren’t certain if you could abstain.

You felt him shift back, leaning away from your body.

“Well, that’s enough of an answer itself.”

You heard the rustling of clothes, felt movement behind you, and you turned your head over your shoulder just in time to see as he pulled off first the top layer, then the undershirt over his head and off his body. You made a soft sound as he then pushed down on your back with a firm touch, forcing you to lean forward, grasping at your hands and pulling them behind your back — firmly, enough to be a clear message to not try to dissuade him, but your pride, weak as it was, still couldn't let it happen with no objection at all.

“Wait, wait, I can do it, I don't need—”

“This is for your sake. Hold still.”

“But I—”

“Be still.” He spoke firmly, but softened his voice as he continued, “It’s not your fault for having that reflex… but you have to train yourself against it. You want to be good, don't you?”

You shut your mouth, nodding as you sounded an answer. “Mm-hm…”

Cloth wrapped tightly around your wrists, using one sleeve to bind them together. Not enough of a bind that you couldn’t break out with some effort, but just enough to keep you from reflexively trying to interfere.

“Now where were we…”

You were pulled back once more, perhaps even closer. You could feel the rise and fall of his chest against your back.

And his hand quickly moved back down, and the bliss of shockwaves of pleasures overcame you once more. You whimpered, biting your lip.

His fingers pressed more firmly, rubbing circles into the nub, and for a moment, your wrists jerked against the bind as the reflex kicked in. It was too much at once, but now, you were prevented from doing anything about it. As he began to rub in circular motions, your body shuddered, and an involuntary moan came out of your throat — a wanton, shameful sound, laced with pleasure and lust.

“There you go.” You could feel him speak, shuddering at the vibration of his chest against your back and the warm breath against your ear. His other hand rolled your nipple between a finger and thumb. “Give into it.”

Your body trembled against his touch, and jolted as his own fingers pressed inside of you. His were longer, and the touches firmer, and the result was a degree of pleasure you were simply incapable of replicating on your own.

As much as you hated it — hated to think it, hated to acknowledge it, hated to try and not acknowledge it as the reality prodded at the back of your mind — he made you feel better than anything you had ever experienced, better than anything you could ever make yourself feel.

You whimpered, toes and fingers curling. Your hips moved, a rolling motion to meet each pressing movement.

A singular motion, and singular sound, both of which you near-immediately caught yourself doing, having been too lost in the feeling to think clearly. You cut off your voice and went still, but it didn’t go unnoticed.

“Don’t.” He didn’t stop moving his fingers as he spoke, instead pressing down with harsh force, essentially pulling you back closer to him with the hand partially inside you. “Holding yourself back like that is another form of dishonesty.”

You bit your lip, squeezing your eyes shut, but unable to form a response before he continued.

“And you wouldn’t want,” the fingers that had been gently tweaking at your breast pinched down hard, a momentary spark of pain and the lowering of his voice making you go tense, “to make this unpleasant because you couldn’t be good for me, would you?”

You shook your head back and forth with vigor. There were many punishments in your domestic repertoire that were unpleasant, and the thought of any of them made your heart skip a beat. “No, no, I don’t… want that…”

“Then you’re going to be honest, aren’t you?”

“Yes! Yes, I promise…”

“Mm.”

He kept rubbing his thumb against your clit, even in perfectly synched timing to each motion his fingers curled inward inside of you.

It was so pleasurable, so intense, it made you angry. Mad that he was capable of it, mad that his control over your body was greater than your own, and most of all, mad that he did it with such ease, effortless, that making you come undone entirely was something he mastered without ever being taught.

That pleasure began to build and build. You squirmed and whimpered, muscles throughout your body tensing and relaxing over and over. Your hips rolled into his hand. Each movement built the pressure in your body higher and higher, rapidly reaching a peak.

The edge that climax made you quiver, body and legs trembling.

“There it is…” his voice was so soft and gentle, soothing in a way it had no right to be.

The noise that came out of your mouth was nearly animal-like, a whimpering cry as you threw your head back, quivering and spasming. The waves of sensation pulsated throughout your body, reaching a peak and then beginning to ebb away.

You went limp, bodyweight falling back against his chest, heaving with heavy breaths. Your head felt as if it were spinning, and you stared forward in a dull stupor, body trembling with aftershock.

You twitched at the feeling of his fingers sliding out of you, with a wet squelching sound that made you shiver.

“Look at that…”

He spread his fingers apart, clear fluid forming a trail between them. You bit your lip, tilting your head downward in a futile attempt of avoidance of what you knew well came next — but that effort was quickly negated as he grabbed your jaw, turning your head back up and squeezing your face.

“Open.”

The force of the grip as he squeezed down more or less forced your jaw apart anyway. You didn't even get to take a breath before he pushed his fingers into your mouth, salty taste spreading over your tongue.

“Clean them off.”

Maybe it was a way of forcing you to acknowledge your own bodily reaction, even if you tried to deny it to yourself. Maybe it was much simpler than that — just another way to degrade you, or something simply arousing for him because it just was.

You complied nonetheless. Your tongue swirled around each finger, sucking and swallowing the taste of yourself. Even as he pulled his fingers back out, a string of saliva connected them to your tongue.

And then, after wiping his fingers off on the fabric around his thigh, he returned the arm to your waist, pulling you close, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“See… so much more at ease now, aren't you?”

That was one way to put it. You couldn't even bring words to your mind. Even processing what he said felt like a significant effort. Everything felt far away, your mind like a blank slate, numb and empty. Your body was even more exhausted, totally lax aside from involuntary twitches.

You made a soft sound as he turned your body to the side, just enough to look you face-to-face. Looking down at your watery eyes as they met his, the stupor in your expression, even as your brain began to clear, as if a machine turning back on after a few moments of darkness.

And he smiled. It was soft, full of endearment. And belittling. It was not made any better by the small chuckle he gave, patting the top of your head.

It burned in your chest, down into your stomach.

Your eyebrows furrowed and your lower lip quivered, an admittedly petulant pout. Shame formed a knot in your stomach. Disappointment in yourself, ending up like this again after swearing so many times over that this one would be the last, the last time you'd come apart so easily, the last time you'd find yourself spent and susceptible to the touch that seemed as if it were designed for your body.

And he laughed. An amused chuckle, patting your head.

“Mm. I had a feeling that wouldn't be quite enough.”

He leaned in, firmly grasping at your arms as you tried to squirm, bringing his mouth so close to yours, forehead resting against yours.

“But, that does admittedly work out for my sake.”

You grunted in surprise as he hooked his arm under your legs again, this time only lifting you just enough to set you down onto the padding of your bed, gently pushing on your shoulders until you were flat on your back, arched over your hands bound behind you.

“A-ah, I…” You swallowed, grasping at the sheets to the best of your ability. It was nothing you weren't anticipating, but the vulnerability made you tense.

It didn't help that he paused any motion, eyes trailing over your body, before reaching down and running his hands over your flesh, one moving to grip at your waist, the other your opposite hip. You couldn’t reach to cover yourself, forced to lay bare and vulnerable. Instinctively, you pressed your thighs together, but firm hands grabbed at the undersides, pushing them apart and positioning himself between them so you couldn’t close them again.

The former act was not enough. Putting you through the ordeal of being made to wait in jail like a child in time-out was not enough, exposing your body was not enough, toying with your body and forcing an acknowledgement of his own control was not enough.

Your lip trembled.

But anger still pervaded through your negative emotions. It compelled your courage, you felt defiance surging up. You had to look him in the eye, tell him exactly what you felt, tell him you knew what he was doing and push him off, then, maybe then you'd have the satisfaction of some sense of control.

You could do it. You had to.

“You… you're just doing the same thing as before!” Your eyebrows furrowed. “You’re trying to, to—”

“Again with this?” He tilted his head. “I really wish you wouldn’t assume such ill intent. This is how people love each other… you know that.”

You bit your lip. You almost, for just a second, fell for it, almost felt guilty. You shook your head forcefully, clearing your mind of the thought.

“No, I won't let you—”

And with that, there was a rapid shift in expression. His eyes narrowed in a piercing, foreboding look. You went silent.

Your shoulders stiffened. The words came out on impulse, resolve of defiance broken as quickly as it had formed. “I'm— I'm sorry—”

Dammit.

For once, the dark expression did not shift back to pleasant as soon as you apologized — an indicator of having gone too far. His hand slowly reached up, this time not in a loving caress or gentle-but-firm grip, but outright harsh grip on your jaw.

“You…”

He tilted his head forward to more directly look you in the eye. His voice was low and cold, making your heart race further.

“Do not ‘let’ anyone do anything.”

His fingertips pressed into your flesh, squeezing your face between them.

“I know you understand your place. Don’t behave as if you don’t.” Finally, his voice softened as he finished, “I can’t help you if you keep fighting me every step of the way. So… you’ll control yourself, won’t you?”

You swallowed, nodding your head, twitching as the motion made his fingernails dig into your cheeks.

“You know I don’t like being so harsh with you, don’t you?”

You nodded again.

“Good.” He leaned down and pressed his mouth to yours. Only for a short, chaste moment, but a slow, sensual motion nonetheless. You closed your eyes, tuning out the rustling clothes, heavily breathing with anticipation.

“You’ll have to forgive me for this. This whole ordeal has been stressful for me as well.”

You didn’t get time to ask what he meant — he rammed himself into you all at once, completely stuffing your body in one rough, forceful motion.

You cried out, back arching and body stiffening. You felt your insides clamp down, pulsating against the intrusion.

His hands tightened their grip on your waist, holding you still as the momentary sting ebbed away.

“There you go… calm down.”

You felt him slide out, then push back in, the latter movement sending sparks of sensation running up your spine, causing you to go tense all over again.

Your breathing became ragged, legs twitching and spasming at the sensation. You tried, without thinking, to snap them shut, but it only resulted in effectively squeezing his waist with you thighs.

The intensity of the sensation naturally induced a reflex of strain and exertion to your muscles, a need to channel the feeling through your body, causing your toes to curl, your thighs clamping down harder, quivering at the bare touch of flesh to flesh. You closed your eyes, but couldn't drown out the sound of skin making contact to yours, the sound itself increasingly accompanied by a wet squelching as skin met fluid with each passing second, leaking out of your body.

“You're so much more honest like this.” You could hear just the slightest strain in his voice, otherwise so very composed to perfection. “So meek… it's lovely. Once that resistance in you is fixed… you'll be perfect.”

You could see the corners of his mouth upturn into a look of amusement.

“You should see yourself.”

Your body stiffened, but all you could do was whimper. The words felt like a cold knife to the stomach — and you knew he knew that. Knew that that moment was you at your must vulnerable, the peak of awareness of your own helplessness, the moment you felt the most degraded, and yet, it still wasn't enough.

He leaned in close, speaking directly into your ear, so close you could feel the warmth as he spoke, never ceasing to move all the while.

“Whimpering and drooling like that,” he murmured. “You're trembling… and that expression on your face is so adorable. Like you can't even think straight.” He leaned back up, enough to look you in the eye — now welling with tears.

And again, he only smiled.

“How precious.”

His hands ran down your body, grabbed at your hips, and began to pull you, jerking your body back and forth to meet his own movements.

It was too much. Even with the knot of emotion in your stomach, you felt a hot, tingling pressure build in your body. Your legs quivered, the wanton little sounds from your throat higher and higher.

You didn't want that. It was the final part of this ritual that so demeaned you, one more confirmation of his control of you. You pressed your hands into the mat, trying to push yourself back — but it was only met with a harsh pull, forcing your body back until you practically slammed against his hips.

“Don't fight.”

It was the last thing you heard. You threw your head back as the sensation became overwhelming, back arching and eyes rolling back as the feeling reached a peak. You could only faintly register the high-pitched sound that sounded as if it couldn't be you, a voice you didn't recognize.

And then it began to ebb away. A hazy stupor filled the void as the pleasure dissipated, a feeling of exhaustion. Your weight went limp.

You made a soft sound as he grasped your jaw again, turning your head just enough to place another kiss to your lips.

“There you go. Look at you now… all that stress and in you, totally gone. You can see it in your eyes, even.”

He paused before adding,

“Well, gone for now. I'll have to start monitoring for it more closely.”

You shuddered at the sensation as he slid out of you, fluid spilling out onto the sheets.

You felt him reach behind you, untying your wrists — you brought your arms to the front of your body, but the forearms only laid useless, having fallen asleep from your weight.

He came to rest beside you, upper body slightly propped up on his elbow, head resting in his hand, looking down at you with adoration and endearment.

And you were so, so weak. So much weaker than you wished you were, body, mind and spirit alike. So weak that, in the rush of emotions that followed, you found yourself slowly crawling forward, burying your face against his chest with a pathetic little noise.

“Poor thing. Maybe that was a bit too much for you…”

His arm reached behind your back and pulled you close, and the comfort you felt seemed to melt your mind into nothingness.

“You should rest for a while,” he continued, “then we'll get you cleaned off. We have a few hours before you'll need to be ready.”

After a moment to process the words, you tilted your head up with the softest of inquisitive noises. The cold, creeping dread began to spread through your stomach once more.

He seemed to realize, then, that you didn’t understand.

“Ah, right, you wouldn't have known.” He reached out with the hand he wasn’t leaning on, brushing his fingers over your scalp. “While you were gone, I sent someone to arrange a house visit with a psychiatrist… a private one that works for families such as ours.”

His words certainly didn’t help soothe your nerves. Your mouth felt dry. Your voice came out weak, hesitant, part of you not wanting to ask, lest you learn an unpleasant answer.

“…Why?”

He tilted his head in just the slightest, loose strands of hair shifting and waving with the motion. “Well, keeping your needs in check does help with your condition, but I’ve realized it would do you good to have a secondary means to treat your hysteric tendencies as well.”

“My…” You swallowed. “My what?” The words slowly pieced together in your mind, hitting you with a sense of dread and confusion. You squirmed backwards, shifting just a bit away from him. “There's… nothing wrong with me…”

“Of course, of course, there’s nothing wrong, that’s…” He spoke in a reassuring sort of tone, as if to comfort you. “…A harsh choice of phrasing. You just need some help, is all.” After a moment of pause, he added, “don't worry, it's perfectly normal that you aren't self-aware of it. That's usually how these illnesses work.”

His arm reached out further, pulling you back towards him, pressing your bodies together before he continued.

“He’s just required to see you in-person for a little while before giving you anything. Regulations and all. We’re just going to get you something to make you a little more… docile.”

His arm wrapped around your body, and he pulled his head back just a bit to look you in the eye, smiling with endearment.

“Ah, I can tell by your face that you’re nervous. Don’t worry, I'll be there throughout the whole thing… I'll answer any questions, you just sit there quietly, alright?” He pulled you a bit closer, planting an affectionate, short kiss to the top of your head. “I know that sort of thing is a lot on your nerves.”

If your trembling could be felt, he didn’t say anything about it, only carrying on with his gently-spoken words.

“We won’t have to worry about you having these… irrational escapades anymore. And you’ll be so much happier, too.”

You felt his hand on your back, firmly in place — you were pressed so close together that there was no need to pull you any closer, but perhaps he wanted to be sure you couldn’t pull away.

“So… rest for now, alright?”

Mind and heart alike racing, in your stupor, you let the pause linger for too long. The hand on your back began to close in on itself, fingernails brushing against your skin just enough to send the faintest of pains up your spine.

You had no strength left in you to give anything other than the correct answer.

“Okay...”

He only gave you a hum of acknowledgement, and began to stroke your back up and down, a pattern that should have been comforting and soothing, yet was anything but. Exhaustion wore on your body, but even as you forced yourself to close your eyes, true rest was nowhere to be found.

#awful men portraying themselves as selfless/benevolent >>>>>#genshin smut #.ay

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i-hate-peas · 3 months ago

Text

The Old Guard Fic Recs

So I've been a long time lurker within the fandom without ever getting particularly involved, but I wanted to show some appreciation for some of the super talented people who go here, because I have read a lot of incredible TOG fic.

Most (probably all) of these authors have loads of other amazing fics, but I've tried to just chose one from each, to keep the list a vaguely reasonable length. Although then I cheated and did some honourable mentions.

** just a note to say I started this list year (s) ago and forgot about it until literally today when I saw fic recs going round. Any of these fics I haven’t put a description for it’s because I didn’t do it at the time, and if I go back to reread them all this would never be posted, not through any lack of affection or enjoyment **

If any writers want tagging/ untagging etc please let me know! (i knew/ could find some blogs more easily than others lol)

Within Canon

Old Olives by aeli_kindara

Garden of Gethsemane mention = instant tears

Death in Her Hands by superblackmarket

Nile's growing relationship with Joe and Nicky. All of their fics are so beautifully written, but I especially love Nile's relationship with the boys and her facing her own immortality.

Honourable mention: Station to Station

Between the Hour and the Age by hauntedjaeger (@hauntedfalcon)

Andy! Nile!

Ouroboros by CypressSunn (@cypresssunns)

Set after the film, literally just read it.

compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience by Jack_R

A pair of early days Joe Nicky fics that reminds me of 'my wife is a bitch and i love her so much'

let's give them something to talk about by lacecat

When The Cherries White With Blossoms, Be Ready & Be Brave by chapstickaddict

Unearthed by merle_p

I think this is one of the most kudosed fics in the AO3 tag, but it deserves the hype!

Kidnapping for Dummies by Amiril

Similar to above, already very popular, but great and very funny!

The Last Man on Earth by Survivah (@optimismology)

I will admit I don't normally go for Booker/Nile, but this fic sold it to me. Looking at them and their developing relationship as the newer immortals.

Canon Divergent

Retrograde by Pinkninja

I mean this fic is the Big Bitch of the fandom for me, if you haven't already read this, where have you been? But also if you haven't already read this I am so jealous, read it and take your time with it and bawl your eyes out over it and appreciate the joy of reading it for the first time. The level of detail and planning in this fic is indescribable. It follows Nicky trapped in a Time Travellers Wife style life where he jumps back and forth throughout his own timeline, whilst Joe lives his life in chronological order. Exquisitely written.

If Never Again, If Every Day by gallifreyburning and takiki16 (@gallifreyburning, @takiki16)

Another absolute Titan of the genre. I know you’ve already been recommended this 500 times, what more can I say.

though I'm dying to (fall in love with you) by yusufsmoon (@babygirlyusuf)

Travellers from an Antique Land by kaydeefalls (@kaydeefalls)

Andy, not Quỳnh, trapped under the sea. I love all their fics.

AUs

Makes Me Want You More by Sixthlight (@sixth-light)

Perhaps not the typical favourite choice from Sixthlight, one of my absolute favourite TOG authors, but one that is funny and lovely and sweet that I keep coming back to. Shorter than many of theirs but perfectly formed.

pumpkin gnocci verse (series) by Liadan14 (@bewires)

I mean it's got estranged family, suspenseful chronological structure, cooking, spies, intimate and honest sex scenes, hilarious misunderstandings involving keeping halal, lovely found family moments, and the actual recipes used. What more do you want.

The Reality of Everything by Marbletopempire

One of the fics I desperately waited for each instalment for. Very funny, lots of sexual tension, plenty of Cate Blanchette spotting opportunities.

sine qua non by mellyflori (@werebearbearbar)

One of the first of their fics I read, with a very sweet build up of misunderstanding to friends to lovers, involving growing up, discovering sexuality, trying to be nice about your best friend's bad boyfriend, and a long suffering sofa.

The Brooklyn Verse (series) by GayLittleEarring, yusufsmoon, nicelytousled (@marwankenzarisgaylittleearring @babygirlyusuf @nicelytousled)

I saw the creation of this on Tumblr before it was a fic, and it lived up to every expectation. Very sweet and sincere, with lots of great discussions about art, whilst also very funny (Lamp the free loader, Joe sending thirst traps out of irritation) and hot. ItalianAmericanNickyfromBrooklyn and Joe my beloveds.

a good (eighth) impression by deaniker

I love a good hook-up to 'oh shit I have feelings' fic, and this is even more entertaining because Nicky is Lykon's ex, and Joe has very much seen him at his worst.

You do not have to be good by emjee (MerryHeart) (@emjee)

At one point a tumblr post about Joe the Professor and Nicky the Priest got very popular, and I'm not sure if this fic was inspired by that, but is one of the great fics with similar concepts. Such a lovely, gentle fic about love and also identity, featuring also Nile and a very sweet snail.

it's such an almighty sound (series) by raedear (@raedear)

A secret service AU that goes full enemies to lovers, with lots of tension, plotting, betrayal, frustration, and tenderness.

Honourable mention: take my hand (you got me rockin' and rollin')

fight 'til the day that i die 'verse by incurableromancer

Suspenseful, noir, super hero AU that has such a great writing style and is very atmospheric.

if you do take a thief by knoepfchen (@knoepfchen)

Cluedo style AU with lots of fun twists and slow building of backstories, with the whole gang.

Honourable mention: life is not the things that we do (it's who we're doing them with)

#the old guard #fic rec #champagne?#now I need to go back and reread all of these

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beardedjoel · 1 year ago

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smother - part ii: resistance

dark!joel x f!reader

series masterlist | main masterlist | ao3 | kofi

summary: joel knows how to break you just right, to get you feeling helpless enough to accept what he believes you need. somewhere deep inside of you, you think you might like it. 10.9k words (sorry) chapter warnings: 18+ MDNI! noncon, nonconsensual touching, dubcon - reader eventually enthusiastically consents but the syndrome is stockholming so its dubcon, reader is a virgin, big juicy age gap (reader is 19, joel is 55) masturbation (m), nipple play/groping, manipulation, joel def has a corruption kink, joel gets a bit violent in this chapter, y'all get a lot of touching and (kissing), if these darker tags aren't your cup of tea please keep scrolling! a/n: okay i'm even more nervous about this chapter than the first, idk how it got so long but i really hope its tense and enticing for you all! i love writing dark joel, this has been such a thrill so far tbh! get buckled in for heavy duty smut next chapter too ✌️

Light spills in around the thick, heavy curtains, drawn tightly shut. Just a glowing sliver on the edges and underneath, telling you it’s at least well into the morning, that you’ve been asleep for longer than you’d expected to. Your brain is a scrambled, hazy mess from the way you’d finally been able to pass out, still encumbered by Joel’s grasp holding you down. After a while his heaviness had a calming effect, the opposite of what you’d ever thought would happen when he first came into your bed last night. But now, he was nowhere to be found, the other side of your bed cold and empty, such a stark difference that you start to wonder if maybe you’d imagined it, dreamed it all last night.

You get up to let some light from the day in, your eyes burning as they adjust and you see that it looks to be late afternoon already. How many hours had you been out for?

Recollections of the night before flood your brain - Joel’s warmth pressed so close to you, his hard body molding softly into yours like he knew how to keep you safe, take care of you, just like he’d said. Yet there’s still an unease surrounding the thoughts, that he’d made the decision for you, came into your bed and lied. It sends a shiver up your spine, half thrill and half fear as you contemplate what you should do next. Maybe plotting a way to Jackson is the right move, but something about Joel was keeping you here, something you couldn’t quite put your finger on yet. It was more of a feeling, something indescribable that came over you when thinking about him.

Could he really save you, like he said? Or was he just a sick old man with a fantasy? One he’d fulfill before tossing you out just as easily as he’d taken you in.

You sigh heavily and sit on the edge of the bed for a few moments, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. You finally decide you have to leave this bedroom sometime and face Joel again to see if those same confusing feelings from last night persist, or even to clear the air between you two. You freshen up a bit with a toothbrush and homemade toothpaste that Joel had left out for you before fixing your hair to an acceptable enough level. You creep out of the bedroom, soft and quiet movements with socks padding your feet as you listen to hear what Joel is up to downstairs. No sounds of cookware or silverware clinking on plates, no rustling on the pages of a book, no distant sound of him chopping wood outside again. Until you do hear something.

A sound almost in between a whimper and a groan, and it’s right there, the door diagonally down the hall from yours. You freeze, brows knit together as you wait to try to hear it again. The next time you hear it, it’s more urgent, more gruff, a loud exhale. Was it a pained sound? You couldn’t quite tell as you walked closer, noticing the light spilling from a crack in Joel’s door out into the dim, windowless hallway.

One peek through the opening in his door has your eyes widening. A gasp sticks itself in your throat but you clap your hand over your mouth when you take in the sight before you. Shit…

All your eyes immediately focus on is Joel’s cock, heavy and thick, hanging out of his pants in a tight grasp in his hand. He’s sitting on the edge of his bed, practically in perfect view through this open sliver in the doorway. His eyes are closed, lost in the moment as he grunts a little bit more. You avert your eyes almost immediately, standing frozen with your cheeks burning. You’re not completely unaware, and you do have an idea of what he’s doing. You can’t help but flick your eyes back to him as another strained exhale leaves his lips, your eyes drifting down to where he’s sliding his hand in quick jerks. His cock is pink and slick as he runs his hand along it, and you start to tune into the lewd, sloppy sounds that it's all making as flesh hits flesh over and over again. You squirm in place, feeling your knees go a bit weak before you finally notice it.

Your underwear.

It feels like something screeches to a halt inside of you, everything moving in slower motion for a few seconds as this information sinks in. Joel’s face, turning more red and eyes rolling back as he pumps his cock with your underwear from yesterday in his other hand, a fist tightly wrapped around the material. You shudder, but find the little zing traveling further to a spot right between your legs, making you clench your thighs together tighter.

It’s all so… so… a feeling you can’t quite explain that starts to make your skin hot, and a scene you don’t know if you want to stop watching. You are just curious after all, you lie to yourself in those few seconds of continued peeking on Joel’s private moment.

You sense a difference in his movements, flashing your sight up to his face where his eyes are open now, gaze locked on yours, heavy lidded as a smile plays on his lips. He doesn’t stop, though, like you thought he would, and it practically steals the breath from your lungs.

“Oh… sh- sorry,” you blurt out, panicky and quiet before you can think about it, covering your eyes with your palm and hastily pulling the door shut.

Joel can’t stop smiling, a wry, devilish thing as he continues in fast, long strokes on his cock. You knowing exactly what he’s doing in here is only urging him on even more, the look in your eyes as he’d caught your stare on his glistening, ruddy cock making him harder.

His smile grows when he realizes you haven’t stopped enjoying the show, not at all, despite your appearances of shutting the door behind you. What he realizes you don’t know, is that he can see the shadow of your feet underneath the door, tiny, anxious movements that catch the light and cast shadows.

If you want to listen, he’s surely not going to disappoint you, another little groan slipping past his lips and he tightens his grip and speeds up, picturing you in his mind. He can practically see it now, one of your perfect little hands clasped over your mouth outside his door, trying not to make a peep, your body rigid as you lean closer to listen. Those perfect little hands that should never have to lift a finger, should always be taken care of. A pulse of pleasure wracks his body at the thought of him being the one to do that for you.

“Fuck,” he whispers hoarsely. “Fuuuuck…”

A few more swift tugs on his length and he’s stuffing your underwear right at the head of his cock, thrusting once and cumming hard into the fabric with a loud moan, the only thing on his mind the mental image of you in nothing but these.

He’s not too weak to admit he’s already completely addicted to you. Your pretty face, the way you’d finally given him those few little smiles yesterday. How you fit so wonderfully in his arms last night once you’d decided that you needed him. Joel knows he’ll do whatever it takes to keep you as his, to make sure you understand just what you need, how you need him. He sighs as he leans back a moment, then stares down at your underwear, his creamy release staining it now looking like one of the most beautiful sights. To paint you with it himself would nearly kill him, send him into a point of no turning back. No, there’s no doubt now that he’s addicted to this… And god help anyone who tries to take it from him, even you.

The moment you hear Joel’s longer, drawn out groan you scurry away, light as can be on your feet and tiptoe down the stairs in a hurry. The mortification you’d feel if he opened the door to you standing there listening in is more than you can bear. You wish you hadn't been curious, hadn’t wanted to stop and stare just to watch just a bit longer. It wasn’t your fault that you felt completely embarrassingly lost when it came to… sex, but you know it was wrong to invade Joel’s privacy like that. He had left the door cracked, hadn’t he, though? Your brain devours the information, barely able to latch onto that train of thought before the next one comes barreling in.

You pace back and forth in the kitchen, hands wrung anxiously over and over again in front of you. You gaze at the staircase practically every millisecond, waiting for Joel to come down, wondering if he will. You two have to confront this, right? He knows what you saw, and you certainly know what you saw, the image burned into your mind now. All the details seem hazy in your panic, but all you can think about is your underwear in his hands, and how your current pair feel damp now against your own will. You’d felt this before - attraction and arousal - but not like this. You had been so close to everything this time, not just hearing stories or thinking about kissing a boy you thought was good looking. This was a full fledged man, pleasuring himself right in the next room to you. It makes you break out in a sweat, your body hot and breathing shallow as the floorboards creak under your rushing movements.

You sigh and continue pacing for another moment before trying to make yourself busy by putting on the kettle, maybe to make some tea, something to calm your frayed nerves. If Joel didn’t wind up kicking you straight back out into the wilderness after that debacle, you’d be surprised. Maybe you should think about kicking yourself out to avoid any of this awkwardness. You make a split second decision to grab your things and go, your first steps out of the kitchen interrupted by heavy footfall upstairs, lazily making its way down to you.

You stand frozen, your plan quickly forgotten when you see Joel, moving with confidence, his steps nonchalant and unhurried as he approaches with a satisfied look on his face. Not angry, not embarrassed, just a casual, almost smug look plastered on his features. You look at a spot past him before dipping your eyes to the floor, your face already heated and flushed. He’s wearing jeans again but this time with a plain, moss green henley shirt rolled halfway up his forearms. Another shirt showing off his strong, muscular form, and it’s killing you inside, especially now that you’ve seen just that much more of him.

“Sit,” he says plainly, finishing his walk to the kitchen table where he pulls out a chair, settling himself down. When you dare to glance in his direction, he’s giving you a look that sends a shudder up your spine, already knowing he’s about to ask much less nicely if you don’t heed his words. Your shaky hand pulls out a chair, perching yourself on the edge, hands holding on to one another for dear life in your lap. You feel like a child about to be scolded for doing something naughty, and you suppose in many ways that’s exactly what’s happening right now.

“J-“ you start, with Joel cutting you off before you can even get a syllable out.

“You enjoy listenin’ to that little show? Gettin’ a little peek?” Joel asks smoothly, a hint of irritation but also gratification in his tone. He leans forward onto the table with his forearms pressed against the wood.

“N-no I didn’t… I mean I didn’t see much. I didn’t hear… I swear. I’m really sorry, that just made things so… uncomfortable…” you ramble on, feeling like a bumbling idiot as you’re sure your body is about to catch fire.

“Did it?” Joel asks, eyebrow lifted in casual questioning. It makes you stop, your lips sitting parted with words you can’t express, clouded by confusion.

“Well… didn’t it? I’m - I don’t know what’s… normal… That didn’t feel…” Your eyes search his face wildly, and you know he can see you, trembling like a fawn stood in the clearing of a forest just before it bolts.

Joel sighs out a long exhale. “Seems like you enjoyed it, standin’ outside my door.” He states it as a fact, not a guess, and your stomach twists as it sinks. How he knows is beyond you, and you can only sit in your shame now, eyes fixed downwards on the table. You’ve never found knots in wood so interesting before as you stay transfixed by the glossy surface.

“Nothin’ to be ashamed of. Just curious, weren’t ya?” he says, his voice rumbling softly. His hand inches towards you across the table and you finally get the nerve to look up at his eyes. They’ve gone gentler, full of understanding. You’re sure your expression gives everything away, your shock, your intrigue at what you’d witnessed. “Weren’t you?” he asks again, and you finally give him a little nod.

His lips twitch upwards in a wry grin just as the kettle starts to whistle, the sound ramping up rapidly into the silent room. You both stare at each other for a few moments, still processing your answer to him. The screeching reaches a fever pitch, making your skin start to crawl, so you push your chair out in a hurry to grab it off the stove. Joel’s hand shoots out, his large hand snatching your thigh, fingers wrapping around and digging into the flesh through your sweatpants. You halt, your ass plopping right back into the chair as Joel stares at you through narrowed eyes.

“I’ve got it,” he says sternly. He waits a moment longer, making sure you’re fully seated and about to heed his words before standing up. The kettle is at a deafening scream, but Joel seems in no hurry, sauntering over to the stove. You breathe out a sigh of relief as the sound tapers off, Joel setting the kettle to the side while he busies himself with reaching up to some open shelving along the wall where you see several jars full of different types of tea leaves. He’s silent, moving slowly, as if to make you sweat it out, and you admit that his plan is working. You don’t know the last time you felt such an odd, burning fear inside of you. Different than facing infected, than being so hungry without knowing where your next meal is coming from. It’s primal, deep down inside of you, meek little claws in a vice grip at the core of you, a burning that travels downward repeatedly, right between your legs. You notice you’ve started trembling without even realizing it.

He brings a steaming mug over, setting it on the table in front of you. It smells mainly of chamomile, maybe some lavender - you see Joel read your mind on wanting something for your nerves. Instead of retaking his seat across from you, he walks around the table, doing a slow, deliberate lap. His feet, although shoe-less, make an impact along the floor, and you feel like each one sounds like a drum along with the way your heart is beating in your ears. He circles back and pauses behind your chair, sliding his forearm across your chest, tucking it close to your neck.

You really were trapped now. Not just by your own mental doing, unable to make yourself leave at the first sign of trouble with this man for god knows what reason, but truly, physically ensnared by his embrace. His arm wraps tighter across the top of your chest, his hand squeezing on the shoulder where it snakes around.

“Tell me…” he leans closer, lips coming to your ear, a hint of a smirk in his tone although you can’t see his face now. “That the first cock you ever seen? Or just the first time you seen one like mine?”

Your head swims, unsure of how to answer. He has you trapped with this question, either answer damning to you. You sputter and scoff out a chuckle, shaking your head.

“No, you say? Which one, honey, c’mon it’s a simple question.” His arm tightens, fingers digging in along your shoulder. “No judgement here, just a curious man, thas’ all.” He says the words as if he’s expectant of a certain answer for you, following a hunch and looking to confirm it for himself. He knows, he knows, he knows. He knows you so effortlessly, reads your mind like it’s the simplest thing in the world. You worry he sees right through you right down to your debased thoughts, the ones where you give in to him and these foreign feelings you want to chase.

You shake your head again. “I haven’t…” Your cheeks burn with the confession, hoping he won’t make you actually say the words. You struggle uncomfortably in his grip, his scent invading your senses now as well, mint and leftover coffee from this morning and your stomach burns so hot you think you might be sick now. He responds with a tighter grasp, his arm starting to press a bit on your windpipe.

Joel blows out a breath, the sound nearly grating next to your ear. “Never seen a cock before till today? Till you saw mine the way you did? That so, darlin’?” He sounds amazed, excitement creeping into his voice.

You swallow hard, fighting back tears, but you nod for him. “Y-yes…” you admit with a shaky voice, willing yourself not to cry again in front of Joel.

“Oh, hey, hey, that’s okay. Must be an awful lot to see it jus’ like that, no context for any of it…” he murmurs, his voice oozing a sick sympathy as you sense his excitement building. “Shouldn’t have had to see it as a surprise. If it were up to me, darlin’, I’d have made sure it was perfect. Y’would’ve been amazed by the things a cock like mine can do for ya.”

He tuts quietly, his lips grazing along the shell of your ear. You squirm a little, your breathing picking up as you strain against him. You remember how much you’d liked his lips right under your ear last night, how badly you’d wanted to hate it, but here you were yet again, enjoying it.

“Now I’m gonna ask you somethin’, honey, and I want you to be honest with me, mkay?” Joel says. Your options feel limited so you motion with a nod for him to go on, his arm digging into your throat further when your head bobs down.

“Be honest, now, remember.” He squeezes your shoulder hard. “How old are ya, honey?” His lips graze your ear again and your legs tense, thighs pressing together. You nearly have to bite the inside of your cheek to stop the little moan that wants to slip out of you.

You chew your lip, telling him the truth before you can even think about it too hard. “I’m nineteen.” You don’t know why you tell him the truth, why you give him any part of you, but you do.

“Hmm,” he murmurs in a low little groan. His fingers brush along your shoulder, across your chest a bit, loosening his tight grip. “Thank you for tellin’ me the truth, sweetheart. I appreciate that.”

“H-how old are you?” you ask in return, getting a haughty chuckle from Joel.

“Older’n you,” he says simply, a little growl caught in the back of his throat as his nose buries itself in your hair, taking in a deep breath.

“B-but I told you…” you whimper a little as he tightens his hold again, leaning further to press his head into your shoulder and neck.

“Why d’ya wanna know? Wonderin’ why an old man like me is gettin’ your panties wet?” he asks, amused at your expense, knocking you down just one more peg.

You blink hard and feel yourself flushing again, warmth radiating throughout your body all the way down to your fingertips. You’re angry that he seems to know every damn thing about you, and you feel like you know nothing about what he’s thinking. “I don’t understand… any of it. Why -“

“It’s all natural, sweetheart. Happens when you find yourself likin’ what I’m doin’,” Joel tells you, voice starting to sweeten like honey. His hand strokes your hair, smoothing the sides.

“I know…” you bite back, only to feel Joel move his forearm closer to your neck. Your breath hitches. “I just mean… I - I want to know how old you are.”

“You persistent little thing…” He smirks again, looking impressed by you. “I’m in my fifties, that’s all y’need to know.” He pauses for a brief second, not wasting a second to keep contact with your skin, his calloused fingertips stroking along the hollow of your neck. They trickle down, gentle and fluid as water as he ghosts along your chest and over your stomach. You shudder and try to keep your eyes open, succumbing to the pleasure of it all - nobody has ever touched you like this, taken their time to feel you out and seem interested in every part of you. It’s a slow, tortuous movement while his arms reach down over you, thick muscles on display, until his fingertips brush along your waistband. They trace back and forth along the crimped edges of the band, tied tightly. He plays with the strings, a clear contemplation to untie them any second. It makes you start to tremble even more, the way you feel powerless and know you couldn’t stop him even if you wanted to.

Joel abruptly stops, pulling his arms back before he starts to walk around the chair, standing in front of you now. He doesn’t crouch to your height, standing tall and proud as he towers over where you sit. His fingers reach forward slowly and gently, thumb and forefinger taking your chin delicately, holding it like something he might break. You can finally see his expression, look into his eyes, and they’re a dark abyss full of mystery and that hungry look he’d flashed at you a few times yesterday.

“Get the sense you’re feelin’ a bit scared right now, hm?” he suddenly asks.

You swallow and then nod for him, eyes barely blinking as you try to keep track of every single movement he makes. His grip on your chin flashes tighter for just a moment before he lets it go, leaving a little red mark in his wake.

“Good girl.”

Your stomach turns as you realize he wants this, wants your fear to permeate the room so he can devour it, to know that he has this hold on you. Joel leans forward, one hand planted on the table next to you, the other coming down to rest on your thigh. He’s tender in his touch, letting his hand soothingly find its way up your leg.

Joel’s eyes bore into you, trying to capture your attention and hold it, but you can barely summon the courage to look into those dark pools, worried they’ll draw you in forever. Instead, you squeeze your eyes shut, focusing on your shaky inhales and exhales as Joel’s hand rubs your thigh.

“Don’t you like it, sweetheart? Feels good to be touched here, doesn’t it?” You don’t answer him, eyes squeezed shut even tighter, a quiver starting on your lips. You try to ignore the way your body responds to the touch, skin blazing right where he’s touching and that pooling of heat starting between your legs.

“Now c’mon, open your eyes f’me. I want to take care of you, honey. Jus’ like we agreed to last night. You need me to take care of everythin’ for ya, never make you have to worry or lift a pretty little finger again. I can show you everything.” Joel pauses, waiting to see if you’ll heed his command. His hand wraps a little tighter around your thigh, fingers squeezing.

“I said… look at me. Open your eyes. Nothin’ to be afraid of.” His voice has a shake to it from trying to keep it even amongst his building frustration, his desire to have you under his thumb already. You finally brave it, your eyes opening slowly to find a softer smile playing on Joel’s lips as his face comes into focus, just a few inches from yours now.

“I want you all to myself… d’you understand what I’m sayin’?”

You nod. His smile grows, much more foreboding now.

“That’s a good girl,” he says, fingers squeezing your thigh again, brushing his thumb along the inner part, sending a set of sparks hurtling up your spine. “And you’ll stay? Won’t try to get away from me, will you?” he asks, a wicked raise of his eyebrow telling you there’s only one correct answer here.

Your face falls a little bit. “Wh- what would you do if did?” you dare to ask.

He laughs, a mirthless chuckle before he can even stop himself. “Oh, honey, what’re you gonna do? Where’ll you go? You wouldn’t get barely ten steps outside this door ‘fore I got to ya.” His eyes pierce yours before studying your face for a few moments, challenging you. “Best that you don’t even try, yeah?”

You don’t reply, hoping that the fear in your eyes and trembling lips are answer enough for him.

“Come and sit w’me, how about that? I’ve got a few more questions for you.” Joel offers you his hand and you pause, eyes fixed on his tan, rough skin - hands that have worked hard for an entire lifetime. He takes the initiative to grasp your hand instead, giving you a quick tug that has you standing up to start following him. He completely dwarfs you in every way, his hand practically enveloping your entire fist as he pulls you along towards the couch.

You don’t know what otherworldly urge possesses you so suddenly, but you glance over towards the door, then back at Joel before you muster up everything you have and shove him square in the back, yanking your captured hand back in the process. He stumbles forward, your hand slipping from his and you quickly gain your balance and bolt. You reach the front door, fumbling with the lock and knob as you hear Joel grunt loudly behind you.

“Don’t you understand? There’s nowhere to go, sweetheart,” he calls after you angrily. You don’t dare turn around as you fling the door open with a strength you didn’t even know you possessed, feet moving of their own accord as you sprint down the stairs and towards the oncoming woods. You can hear Joel’s huffs behind you, both of your shoe-less feet pounding on the frozen earth. It hurts, the cold ground combined with all types of brush and wood littering the forest floor that are now jabbing into your feet with every step. This was stupid, this was a mistake, you’re going to die out here if he doesn’t do it first.

“God… damn… it…” you hear Joel pant behind you, knowing he’s close, that it’s almost over now. You’re weak and frail still, much too slow to outrun a towering powerhouse like Joel. He was right - there’s no fighting it, no escape from here unless he allows it. Maybe it won’t be so bad… maybe you do enjoy the way he speaks to you, the way he’s been touching you… maybe it’ll all be just what you’ve needed. You’ve always wanted more than what you had, wishing for someone to care just a little more, to have a family again.

You lose yourself to an almost transcendent train of thought, letting it wash over you. As if the universe was trying to tell you the right decision, you feel your foot collide with something sharp and you stumble, a sure way to get you back into Joel’s arms. He catches you as you go down, upper arm squeezed into his grasp as his other wraps around and yanks you by the front of your collar, tearing your shirt all the way down to the middle of your chest as he tugs. You’re pulled into his chest with a hard thud before you both go down with the momentum of it all, his body landing on top of yours on the hard, frozen earth.

“God damn it, girl, what the hell you think you’re doin’, huh?” Joel huffs out, arms pinning you down by the wrists as he breathes heavily right in your face. You grunt and struggle, squirming against the ground, but it only serves to help Joel push you into the frosty dirt even harder, his own grunts slipping out of his lips.

“Like it when you struggle…” he says closer to your ear, leaning down. His lips turn into a chilling leer as he bares his teeth down at you. “But too bad we can't play a little longer, you’ll freeze out here. Get up,” he demands, pulling back and then fluidly plucking your body up off the ground as he stands. He hooks one of his arms through yours and begins drags you, your feet scrambling to keep up with how quickly he’s moving.

You’d barely gotten far, just like he said you would - it’s only a short distance back to the cabin where he slams you against the wall, clutching one hand around your throat, not hard enough to put much pressure, just to show you he could, if he really wanted to. His body crowds closer as your back presses against the hard, unrelenting wooden logs adorning the outer frame of the cabin. The chill of the air settles in and you shiver, feet throbbing and chest prickling with goosebumps from the frozen air entering your lungs in large heaves.

“Told ya, girl. You don’t need to go anywhere. All y’need is right here. I can do anythin’ I want with ya, can’t I?” He spits his words out angrily, eyes blazing. His head is cocked, looking down on you with scornful, yet hopeful eyes. His gaze travels to your chest, the way your shirt is torn to almost reveal everything there, eyes flickering hotly on the sight. Both of you stand with huffing breaths, chests heaving and letting out little cloudy puffs of air as your exhales hit the air.

You nod, whimpering as his grip gets slightly tighter around your throat when you don’t answer right away. Your entire body trembles against him, afraid you’ll collapse any second as your knees buckle. His entire frame is pressed against you, keeping you upright, the warmth of him the only thing keeping you grounded and afloat right now.

“Thas’ right, it’s just me ‘n you out here. I’ll take real good care of ya, never let anyone hurt ya again. Ever.” A hand snakes around to your hair, smoothing it as he pulls your head off the wall, tracing his palm down as he pets you. “Now c’mon.” He yanks your entire body by the waist, holding you close as he hauls you back inside, pulling the door shut behind you two and locking it.

Joel brings you to his original destination before you’d run - the couch - and sits back, pulling you down with him, maneuvering you to settle on his lap so that you’re straddling him. His hands wrap around your back in a possessive, tight hold. You squirm a little bit, the feeling of him enveloping you like this making you hot, a sheen of sweat breaking out over your entire body.

“S-stop…” you mumble as you continue to struggle, his hands only seeming to get stronger the more effort you put in. You start to shove and push at his chest and one of his arms comes from around your back to catch your wrists in one fell swoop, pinning them against his chest.

“Better knock that shit off quick,” he commands, grunting as he continues to hold your squirming body. “You got me offerin’ you everything I know you want, and all I ask is you do what I want, sweet girl. Be here w’me.” His tone is somehow cruel and hard but soft and caring at once, like he really believes that he needs to act this way to care for you right now.

“N-no, you’re hurting me,” you cry out. “You said you wouldn’t let anyone hurt me…” You think that maybe your reasoning will have any kind of effect on him, and he only smiles softly. It disarms you a little, your struggle starting to die out as you look at the hidden anger behind the smile, the desire to let out the hidden beast within him.

“Let’s get one thing clear,” he says, letting go of your wrists to grip your cheeks between his thumb and forefinger, squishing them together. Your hands fall limply to your sides, skin burning on your cheeks where he’s pressing in harder. “Only I can make you feel pain. Nobody else. Nobody’s gonna hurt you when I’m around. And I’m the only one who can make y’feel good too, understand? But if you’re not gonna be a good girl ‘n pull this shit, I can’t help what I’ve gotta do to get you back to bein’ good, hm?” His eyes track across your face, awaiting a response.

You shake your head in small movements, squeezing your eyes shut and squirming one final time to try to slide off his lap. He sees your desperate eyes and his blood rushes a little hotter through him, tugging you harshly to situate you back perfectly centered on his lap.

“Please…” you whimper quietly, unsure of what you’re asking for now. To be let go? To be held tighter? For someone to just make it all okay?

Joel drops your cheeks from his tight grip and looks at you a little more sympathetically. “Okay, okay, c’mon, no more strugglin’ sweet girl. I’ve got you. Not gonna hurt ya. I just wanna help ya.”

He leans forward and his lips find your neck, peppering wet, urgent kisses from just underneath your chin all the way down to your collarbone. It’s all too much, the emotions bubbling up as the adrenaline leaves your body. You shake a little, feeling the now all too familiar sting of tears behind your eyes that quickly manifest as tears that roll down your cheeks. Joel must sense a heave in your chest as you try to hold back your sob because he pulls his lips off of you and looks up to see your eyes shining as tears start to fall at a more rapid pace.

“Shh, shh,” he coos. Both of his arms wrap around your back and pull you in so that your chest is flush with his. Your head drops instinctively to his body and you find yourself wrapping your arms tightly around his neck before burying your face in his chest.

“Oh, c’mere, sweetheart. Let it all out… shh…” Joel says quietly, his palms splayed along your back, rubbing up and down in a soothing pattern. You finally break completely, finally let yourself sob. Your entire body is wracked with shaking heaves of breath each time you start another wave of tears. You bury yourself deeper into Joel’s chest, your face burning red hot with embarrassment, but unable to stop nonetheless. He’s warm and soft against you, the comforting fabric of his shirt soaking up the tears you pour out.

Joel continues his soothing ministrations, his hands uncharacteristically kind and sweet, holding the back of your head against him now, like he’s encouraging this, even, this release of emotion from you. It makes you sob even harder to realize the only person you have in this world to comfort you is a man you met yesterday, one who hasn’t shown you a consistent side to himself since then. You don’t know how long you cry for, the last two weeks of pure desperation and the flood of emotions since meeting Joel have all collided into this one meltdown, Joel’s chest taking the brunt of it as you continue sobbing.

“Oh, that’s it, there we go…” he hums calmly, his chin resting on the top of your head as he keeps stroking along your back. You finally start to let up, choking back little sobs as they climb their way up your throat.

“Jus’ breathe… there ya go, honey. Take some deep breaths for me now, okay?” Joel says calmly, continuing to chant little encouragements in your ear. You turn your face to lay the side of your cheek along Joel’s chest for a moment, a few remaining hiccups shaking your body as you sniffle. Your entire face feels puffy, like everything is two sizes too big for you now, cheeks wet and sticky as your tears start to dry. You slowly lift your head up and Joel quickly catches your face between his hands, thumbs going to work wiping your tears.

“Beautiful…” he murmurs as his eyes scan your flushed, glowing face. His lips turn into a gentle, small smile while he continues to wipe down your cheeks for a moment longer. “Now don’t that feel better?” Joel looks at you with concern now, his head tilting as his fingers continue to stroke along your face. You look so broken and fragile right now - the thought exciting him, sending a twitch beneath his jeans that he doesn't even have the mind to be ashamed of. You're close... so close to being his.

“I g-guess…” you murmur, unable to say if it really does feel much better. You feel lighter now, unburdened of the pent up emotions that had been weighing you down the last few weeks, but you still had to grapple with the fact that you were here now, with a dangerous man who seemed intent on keeping you here no matter what.

“Listen, darlin’...” Joel starts, a heavy sigh escaping him. “You’re too sweet for this world, you deserve to be protected… That’s all I’m tryin’ to say here, to do here. You wanna know what I thought when I first saw ya?”

Your eyes widen in curiosity, letting him go on.

“Thought that the universe sent me a gift. One look at ya and I knew you had to be all mine. Like y’were made for me, I swear it…” he gushes before his eyes go more serious. “I can show you how good it all feels, sweetheart, d’you understand?”

You shake your head slowly. “S-show me how good what feels?” you ask tentatively.

Joel leans forward, his lips brushing along your jawline then ghosting to that sensitive spot under your ear. His breath tickles you in just the right way and you shudder, hating that he seems to have pinpointed your weakness.

“Show you… just how good it feels… to submit to me.” His lips press onto your neck gently, his tongue poking out to taste the salt of your skin. “Show you what your place is here.” He sucks a little harder on your neck, eliciting a tiny sound from the back of your throat. “I’ll give you everything, you’ll see. I can see you want it, sweet girl. I can see how badly you need it.” His hips thrust upwards into yours on his last words, grinding against you slightly. Your eyes flutter shut when his lips kiss your neck again, rough but gentle, as Joel always seems to be. You squirm, your body and mind still mixing signals with each other, unsure if you’re fleeing or giving in.

You consider his words heavily, the weight of them pressing down on your chest, nearly choking you. It makes your entire body tingle, the way he’d said the word submit, not even fully understanding all of what that would entail. But he’s right, you do need someone, you need something in your life that won’t fail you or run or disappear. You’re desperate for it at this point, needing it like you need air and water. You’ve seen nothing but loss and sadness and lived with a desperation to just be loved and cared for in the deepest ways.

Maybe it was fate, like he said. Maybe you were meant to stumble into that clearing just at the right time, just when you so fiercely needed everything he’s offering to you.

He pulls back and stares into your eyes, trying to read the look behind them, trying to gauge how you’ll respond as you sit silently. You feel tears building on the rims of your eyes again, quickly wiping them away before they can fall.

“Let me show you, hm? How I’ll take care of you.” He thumbs your chin as he stares at you, a look of wonder in his eyes. “We need to get some more food in you, darlin’. Barely ate a thing yesterday.” His bargains immediately begin to work as you notice your stomach rumbling and empty again as if on cue. You nod slightly and he gives you a half smile.

“That’s a good girl,” he coos. “Now hold on tight.” Before you can question him further on why, he’s lifting you up off the couch, and your arms scramble to fling around his neck so you don’t fall backwards. Your legs wrap around his middle for extra support as he carries you to the kitchen table, settling you down on top of it now, legs dangling off the side as he lets go of his grip under your thighs. You find yourself reluctant to untangle your arms and legs from his warm, safe body, but he begins to pull away, heading for the fridge. You watch him with a frown as he bends down, shuffling a bit in the fridge before pulling out an item wrapped in a thin cloth. He opens a breadbox on the counter and reaches in, tearing off a chunk of bread before plating it and unwrapping the block, revealing some type of cheese.

“Sheeps cheese from Jackson. And some bread I made. Should tide y’over till dinner time, don’t you think?” he asks, bringing the plate over. He nudges your legs apart with his knee, a silent command that you follow mindlessly before he steps in between your thighs. One hand brushes along your thigh as he gets closer to you, eyes pasted right onto yours. His near glare is nearly too much to keep focused on as he grabs the piece of bread and brings it up to your lips. You pause, gaze faltering as you scan his face, a little stunned.

“Y’need some food, darlin’. Now eat.” Another command, another test to see how pliant you are, how willing you are to accept the entire package he offered you. You crane your neck forward enough to bite down on the piece, tearing some off as he holds it for you, never breaking eye contact with him. His eyes quickly flash back to a satisfied, pleasant look from the darkness that had threatened them moments ago.

“Good girl.” The words burrow in a little more, your thighs tightening against his, sending Joel gazing down with a smirk pulling at his lips. “Another,” he says quietly, holding the bread up to your lips again. You don’t falter this time, taking a quick bite and chewing as Joel smiles down at you, letting his thumb brush across your lips.

“You’re bein’ so good f’me now, what happened?” he says smugly, picking up the cheese and feeding you again. Each time he does it, you take the food more eagerly, Joel stepping closer until he’s pressed against the table, his hips as close as they can be to the apex of your thighs. You can sense the excitement radiating off of him now, the pure satisfaction that you’re not putting up a fight, accepting the care he’s pouring out onto you.

“Now you see how I can take care of you, darlin’? That’s just a small thing, honey, makin’ sure you get fed. Now tell me how much you appreciate it, hm?”

You feel your cheeks warming up at the blatant coaxing from Joel, the way the heat of his body presses so close to you now as his finger lingers on your lip after the last scrap of bread goes in.

“T-thank you, Joel,” you say, quiet and mousy as you avert your eyes downward.

“Oh, such a good girl.” He pets the top of your head down the side, stroking a gentle, long path down to your shoulder. “Feel better now that we got you full?”

You nod, swallowing hard. “Y-yes, thank you.” Mousy. Quiet. The way Joel seems to like, the way that you can’t help but be when he questions you like this, when his eyes search your depths so intensely. Your heart clenches at just how quickly he’s already worked his way in, has you saying just what you know he wants to hear.

“Not bad for an old man baking bread, huh?” he asks, winking as he caresses your cheek. You tilt your head down, failing to conceal your little smile in time as a breathy chuckle makes its way out of you. You can sense the lightness fill Joel and the entire room as he notices, cocking his head and leaning closer to you.

“That a smile I see, darlin’? You think it’s funny to call me an old man?”

You shake your head, pulling your lips tight to suppress your smile. “N-no, you’re n-not…”

“Oh, too sweet, ain’t you.” He wraps his arms around your middle, drawing you close again. “Y’know, you’re so pretty when you smile. This old man’d like to see more of that, y’know.”

Your smile falls quickly as discomfort settles in again at the way he’d cracked through your façade just now. “Why haven’t you just… hurt me yet? Or done what you want with me and tossed me out?” you ask suddenly, blurting the words out before you can think twice about the possible consequences.

Joel clicks his tongue and lets his lips part slightly, showing his surprise - a rare moment from such a guarded man.

“That what you think this is?” he asks quietly, forebodingly. The pure control in his voice is a skill that you can tell he’s exercised many times. “Just want to squeeze the life outta you and toss your body out for the damn animals? Or fuck you senseless then turn you to the cold? You really think that little of me after I fed you, clothed you, helped you?”

He doesn’t sound quite angry, but something deeper that takes a minute for you to register - you’ve hurt him. Wounded his ego, made a dent in this brick wall of a man. A power you suddenly wish you didn't have over him.

“I don’t… I don’t know…” you admit. “You scare me.”

He leans forward, his dark irises going icy as he captures your rapt attention with this one single glance.

“I should,” he spits out with a twitch of his lip. “But only if you give yourself reason to, yeah? I never want to hurt you, sweetness, never.” He goes softer, brushing a finger along your cheek, sending you trembling with a quivering lip. “Jus’ want you to be here w’me, lettin’ me take good care of you, and you do the same f’me. Somethin’ so beautiful here, you ‘n I…”

You sigh heavily, your body slumping in defeat. You’re exhausted, your nerves frayed and mind overstimulated from all of the inconsistencies, the back and forth with him. If what he says is true, if he wants to treat you kindly, give you all he’s promised, you know what he expects in response. You can feel it in the undertone of every word he says, every tiny movement when he touches you. He wants you to belong to him, to have you sucked so completely into his world there’s no going back. To have you fear him and look in wonder at him and worship at his feet and let him touch you and feel you and be completely yours and you be completely his. Your head spins, a dizzy sickness overtaking you at how utterly lost you feel right now. How badly you crave it and are equally repulsed by it.

You dip your head down, eyes on your lap as you let the wave of churning fear wash over you.

“Eyes up, darlin’,” Joel reminds you, fingers tracing on your thigh to get your attention.

“I… believe you,” you say, turning your gaze to him again. It’s not an answer yet, not a yes or no or anything at all. A fact.

“I know you do,” he says, a serious expression curling into a smile. “Only say what I mean. Are we clear, then?”

Joel’s face inches closer to yours, leaving just a few inches between you, now. “Y-yes,” you mutter, rapidly scanning over his eyes to try to read anything there but the inky darkness that seems to permeate above all else.

“Good,” he says proudly. “Now gimme a smile, darlin’. Need to see you lookin’ happier ‘round here.”

You pull your lips into a tight smile that seems to suffice for Joel as he carries on, moving until his lips hover just above yours. You notice yourself starting to tremble a little bit, shoulders tightening up, and Joel holds you close as his brows come together.

“You ever kiss a man like me, darlin’?” he whispers, licking his lips.

Your lips part, words failing you for a moment as you contemplate him. Your throat is suddenly dry and itchy as you glance down at Joel’s lips. “N-no…” You shake your head. “I haven’t… haven’t been with… anyone…”

Joel stills completely for what feels like minutes, his lips twisted to the side in a wry smile now. “You sayin’ you’re a virgin?” he asks bluntly, his hands naturally tightening their grip on your back, fingers digging in as they slide a little lower towards your waist.

Your face burns first, then your entire body is set aflame as embarrassment sets in. You know you shouldn’t be embarrassed, but you can sense Joel’s experience, almost having some strange need to impress him with your own, coming up empty. Your eyes look down, staring at the middle of his shirt before you nod once, blinking away a quick sting of tears at your sudden humiliation.

“Christ,” Joel bites back all the things he wants to say for a moment and tuts as he notices your glassy eyes, scraping his fingers along your back. He tightens his hold on your waist and tugs you even closer so that your hips are flush with his. He moves his lips right next to your ear, making you shudder as they brush close enough to touch for a moment. “Had a feelin’. You have no idea… how turned on that makes me, sweet girl.”

Joel’s crude words have you gasping a little, a breath caught in your throat as you stutter out a sound to try to answer him. His lips press on your neck again, kissing a little more fervently down to your collarbone and then he pulls back, one hand going to your face to cup your cheek.

“Such an innocent little thing… so sweet…” he murmurs. “‘S okay to touch me, y’know.” Your hands tingle with anticipation as he says that, but you don’t know how to move them, where to move them to, or if you want to touch him.

“I - I don’t…” You shake your head, and Joel captures one of your hands in his, holding it gently and rubbing his fingers along yours.

“I got ya, I’ll show y’everythin’ you need to know, how’s that sound?” he says, gazing down at you intently, waiting with baited breath to hear your response.

“You mean…” you ask, cheeks flushing as you’re unable to finish your sentence. Joel places your hand on his chest, spreading your fingers out to splay across the space between his pecs. He nods softly and you wiggle your fingers a little, feeling the planes of his chest, hard but warm underneath your palm. He glances down to where your hand explores a little more, running your fingers gently over to the right side of his pecs, then the left, and smirks.

“I mean all of it, you sweet little thing. You don’t know how good y’could feel, do you?” Joel breathes a little heavier, his expression losing a bit of its controlled façade, that vague look of craving revealing itself in his eyes again. “I could give you so much… oh, you pretty thing, you need it.” He shakes his head in disbelief of everything he’s learned about you. “Untouched… so innocent…” he says more quietly, his hands finding their way back to your waist, thumbs hooking under the waistband at the back of your pants.

“I’m n-not sure… I-I don’t know -” you stutter as you feel his thumbs touch bare skin before one of his hands trails under your shirt, moving upwards. Your eyes blink a little slower, a flutter of your lashes as his calloused pads scrape along your skin, leaving a blazing trail that tingles all the way to the base of your spine. It pools quickly there, your core starting to heat up as his hand travels higher, the other playing at the hem of your shirt, starting to lift it. Your breath hitches, eyes going wider as your shirt moves, but you don’t squirm, don’t try to stop him.

“Y’do know. I can see you want it, sweetheart, look at how you respond to me…” He breathes in and out a little shakily. “Respond to a man takin’ good care of you…”

“W-what are you doing?” you ask, feeling your back almost halfway exposed to the air.

“Think you know what I’m doin,” Joel huffs a stony hearted chuckle. “Just wanna see how pretty y’are, take a peek, thas’ all.”

You shrink back a little, eyebrows pulled close together, shaking your head in small movements. “I’m scared…” you whimper finally, showing Joel the fear that’s been building deep inside of you. You don’t know how to want this, when to know your body is telling you it’s okay. You’ve somehow lost complete trust in any of your instincts, unsure of where along the way that happened.

“I know, I know,” he purrs, still pulling your shirt higher. His lips dart down to your stomach, where your bare skin is starting to show, kissing sloppily along all the fresh skin he hasn’t seen yet. He starts speaking against your body, kissing in between his words. “Nothin’ to be scared of when you got me though, y’understand? You let me take care of you, and you’ll never worry a day in your life. Be my good girl, my everything. Just gotta trust me.” His nails dig into your back, a sweet, welcome pain, bringing you to the present. It’s too easy to lose yourself to his lips, his touch, his words. Your hand stays steadily placed on his chest, barely daring to move now.

You stare with your mouth open, and at your silence Joel drags his mouth up your chest and to your neck before looking at you expectantly.

“I don’t… know…” you murmur, less convincingly than the other times, an observation that Joel doesn’t fail to notice. He gathers the fabric of your shirt and tugs on the front hem of your shirt, pulling it taut along your back, drawing you closer to him as his lips sit merely an inch from yours.

“Think y’do know,” he says, greedy hands under the front of your shirt now, pulling the hem up. “I’ll be so gentle, honey…” He pulls your shirt up further and you drop your hand from his chest, allowing him the freedom of movement he needs to finish the job.

“Okay…” you whisper, unsure if the two syllables even resonate far enough to reach Joel’s ears. You start to feel your legs trembling as you see his face registering your one word, the only thing he’d needed to hear.

“Good girl,” he breathes out, exuding pure elation. “Oh, I’m gonna make you so happy, darlin’, gonna give y’everythin’.” He practically snarls as his hands get back to work on your shirt, lifting each of your arms to tug them through the sleeves, then tossing your shirt aside after it's over your head.

A growl tumbles out of his throat when he takes in your breasts, and you hunch your shoulders up a little more, your arm flying up to cover your chest now that it's exposed. Joel’s hand grabs your wrist, strongly wrapped around it as he tugs it away.

“Don’t have to hide ‘em from me, nothin’ to hide from me now,” he snaps, tossing your arm back to your side. His hands reach up to tease at the swell of your breasts, and you sit half in shock, letting his fingers send tingles across your skin as he explores your chest. He runs errant fingers down along the curves as he stares downwards. Your breath catches when he rubs his thumbs over your pebbled nipples, you back arching towards him as you gasp.

“So soft ‘n pretty…” He grins, continuing to watch the way his hands work along your skin, a little more rough as he gropes your tits, rolling your nipples just to observe your reaction. The little pinch sends waves of arousal through your body, pooling deep inside of you, making you feel your underwear get damp again. You’re already panting, the sensations he’s bringing out in you so strong that you can hardly contain the little noises slipping out of you as he continues touching your chest.

“I - I’m…” you pant. “Joel…”

He pauses for just a moment, leaning closer and brushing his lips across your cheek. “Know you’re feelin’ good, aren’t ya?”

You nod dumbly, completely awestruck as he pinches your nipples again, sending your back arching and hips pressing into his. It’s maddening and confusing all in one, the way he’s able to work your body like this and make you feel a hot burning starting to blaze across your skin.

“Pretty girl never had her tits touched, has she?”

You shake your head urgently, a breathy moan pulled out of your throat as he pinches and tugs a little harder on the hard buds. “P-please… stop… it’s too…” you whine, scrunching your face, unsure if you actually want him to stop. You feel wild, feral almost, the strangest sensation pulling at your insides as he tugs one more time.

Joel smirks in satisfaction, going back to caressing you more lightly, giving you some relief. One hand travels down to rest on your hip, the other up to your face to cradle your cheek in his palm.

“You’re fun to play with, jus’ like I thought you’d be…” Joel muses as he touches your face. “You’re bein’ so good f’me, too, honey. Lettin’ me see you ‘n touch you.” He looks at you almost curiously now, like he’s studying you.

“Think you deserve a little reward for bein’ so good for me, finally seein’ some sense.” He pauses, watching your face morph into a soft, intrigued look. “How’s that sound, hm?” he asks, pinching your cheek.

You tilt your head at him. “A reward? Wh-“

“Exactly. If you act like a good girl, gotta reward ya for it.” Your heart beats a little faster as you take in his words, your thighs clamped as his voice comes out low and teasing. “C’mere, sweetheart,” he says, wrapping his fingers around your cheek and pulling you closer as he leans in. “You deserve to feel good, do you realize that? You’ve been denyin’ yourself somethin’ so good, but turns out it was so that I could show ya.”

“I - Joel - I don’t know…” you blurt out, your stomach twisting. The fact you can barely say anything but those same three words over and over is starting to frustrate you.

“Don’t go gettin’ shy on me now,” Joel replies, his hand now cradling the back of your head. “You’ll enjoy this.”

He leans forward again, completely closing the gap between the two of you as he presses his lips to yours. It’s soft at first, testing you, and you blink once in surprise, not able to force yourself to press your lips back into his at first. But your body naturally starts to melt into him a little, his hand stroking against the back of your head calming you into submission. Your hands twitch forward, gently touching the bottom hem of his shirt and holding onto it just slightly. The feel of the fabric grounds you as you feel your lips press back into Joel’s, sending a wave of heat over your body. Your cheeks burn and your skin prickles as he groans quietly and pushes his lips a little more aggressively against yours before pulling back slightly.

He looks down at you with a smirk. His hand digs into your waist a little harder, the possession he’s feeling clearly evident.

“Tastes sweet, darlin’,” he says quietly before leaning back in, kissing you again. Your hand tugs a little harder on the bottom of his shirt and you feel yourself cracking under the pressure, like you’re about to burst into a million little parts like a piece of dropped china.

His mouth opens and invites you to do the same, so you follow his lead. You’re frustrated, unsure of yourself, not understanding the way your body just moves with his, mirroring his motions.

Maybe this is how it’s supposed to be. Maybe your first kiss is supposed to feel just like this. Maybe you’re supposed to be afraid and unsure and terrified yet intrigued in a way you can’t ignore. You wouldn’t know any different, after all, and your body already yearns for Joel to keep going, to press his lips harder onto yours, to feel his warm, soft lips all over you. You don’t even quite understand where the thoughts come from, it’s like your body is telling you without your mind having to get involved.

You open your mouth the tiniest bit, allowing Joel to kiss you deeper. He pulls back just enough to suck a little on your bottom lip and you whimper and your brows scrunch. How… how could it feel so good?

As if to send you asking that question a hundred more times, one of his hands skates his fingers up your spine and you shudder, falling apart just as his tongue swipes across your bottom lip. You nearly gasp but find your own tongue hesitantly brushing against his. He hums quietly in satisfaction, continuing the motions of his tongue with small variations - darting into your mouth, licking your lip.

You feel your entire being aching and warm now with the way Joel is pressed as close as he can, hips flush with yours. You want to move your own hips, to push them further and further, your body urging you on again without telling you quite what it’s doing.

You yank your head back, completely breathless. Joel’s hand scrambles to the back of your head, holding it in place as he devours your lips again, not letting up just yet.

“Wasn’t done w’you yet…” he mumbles before kissing you again, his tongue and lips more aggressive now as his hand slides to the back of your neck, gripping tightly. When he’s had his fill he tucks his head back enough to get a read on your expression, smirking. He sees the wonder in your eyes, the confusion, the struggle, but he welcomes it all, now. He knows he has you - his prize, his to keep, his to take. He can practically feel the ache of want oozing out of your pores now as you sit trembling slightly on the table, your soul and tits bared to him, equally enticing. A perfect paradox, he thinks.

You look so perfect - like a pure, innocent angel sent just for him. He knows you can be exactly what he’s looking for - someone to call his own, to protect and guide and keep close to him. His perfect girl.

He buries his face in your neck, inhaling your scent and musk like it’s the last time he’ll ever get a chance to before his lips rumble against you.

“Lemme take you upstairs, show you how to be mine," he offers, in a way that's not an offer at all, but an instruction, a test.

He’s quiet and seductive with his words, a low, gravelly lilt to his voice that makes your head swim. You’re hazy, a practically drunk feeling coming over you now - cloudy and out of control of your own body.

Before you can stop yourself, body buzzing and lips puffy and parted in need, you nod for him.

reminder i have no taglist now! follow @beardedjoel-updates and turn on notifs!

#fic: smother #joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller smut #dark!joel miller #dark!joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x reader #x reader #tw: blood #<<< for the cover photo

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chillinglyadventurous · 3 months ago

Text

Fresh Start - Stanford Pines

Thank you to @ultravioletqueen for the request! I know it’s not the headcanons you requested, but I hope you still enjoy!

I could definitely be talked into a part 2 of this.

Tags: Fluff, mentions of abuse

“Hey mom,” you son called from down the hall, “is it okay if I go hang out with Dipper? His Grunkle Ford is taking us to find a monster in the woods.”

You looked up from your book to see Jack, your 13 year old, looking at you with puppy dog eyes. You had moved to Gravity Falls a few months ago. The divorce was messy. Your ex husband was a prick. You needed to get that boy out of there. Of course, you had been worried about moving to a new town. You had a job. You made friends easily, but your son wasn’t the same.

He was a shy boy, too intrigued by the supernatural for his own good. You were excited he found a friend, even if Dipper was only there in the summers to stay with his great uncles that lived in the local tourist trap.

You nodded. “Of course, honey. You need a ride over there?”

You’d met Stan before, Mr. Mystery. He wasn’t a good influence, but he was nice enough. You knew you could trust him to keep your kid safe. No part of you doubted that, but Jack had been gushing over Dipper’s other uncle, Ford. Jack had referred to him as a mad scientist. That made you a bit wary.

Monster. Yeah, that freaked you out too. You had heard whispers around town about last summer. You’d seen some weird things around Gravity Falls yourself, things lurking in the forest near your home. Some had even told you that you were so lucky you weren’t there last summer. You wondered what had happened. When you asked, you were always met with the same response: Never mind all that.

You parked your car out front of the Mystery Shack where Dipper was there to greet Jack, “Hey, man! You ready to go?”

“Dipper,” you began, “can I meet your Grunkle Ford before you guys get going?” You just wanted to be cautious. There were a lot of creeps in the world. Granted your ex husband knew most of them, but you always felt more at ease when you met someone before letting your kid have sleepovers or hang out at someone else’s house. “Would that be okay?”

Dipper nodded, but, before you could get inside, a man came out with a large backpack strapped to his back. For a moment, you thought it was Stan. He stood a bit taller than Stan, just enough for you to notice. His back was straighter and his glasses were cracked.

He gave you a warm smile, “Greetings! You must be [Y/N], Jack’s mother.” He took your hand in his. His handshake was firm. When he caught you mentally counting the fingers on his hands he pulled away. “You’ve got a smart boy, [Y/N]. I’ve never seen someone so young recite the first hundred digits of pi so quickly.”

“I even won a contest at my old school, for it, Ford!” Jack beamed up at the man you couldn’t stop staring at.

Ford ruffled his hair, “There’s nothing more fulfilling than academic achievement.” He gave loud laugh. “Boy, do I miss those college days.”

“Can I talk to you?” You said. You pointed towards the door to the Shack, eyes on Ford. He muttered a quick ‘certainly’ before following you inside. You could see the boys gabbing over what they were going to do. Jack seemed so excited. You hadn’t seen him that way in a long time. “I’m really excited Jack found a friend, but, if I’m being honest, the whole monster-hunting thing freaks me out a bit.”

Ford gave a curt nod. He could see your hesitation and understood it completely. He gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “I can promise you,” he reassured, “I would never put Jack or Dipper in any danger.” Another warm smile stretched across his face. The lines by his eyes creased with his grin, “I haven’t told the boys yet, but this isn’t going to be some grand adventure. They’ll be a bit disappointed. We’re just going to catalog the migration patters of a local creature I’ve named beard cubs.”

“Harmless?” You wondered, giving him a soft look. Okay, he was normal-ish. This was fine.

A curt nod was given. “Absolutely. The worst that could happen is your teenager comes home with facial hair. You’re welcome to come if you’d like!”

“No,” you declined, “don’t want to risk becoming the bearded lady.”

Ford gave you a hardy laugh, “Very well. I’m assuming Jack has your phone number. I will give you a call when we return so you know we’ve made it back safely.” He shook your hand again. “It’s very nice to finally meet you, [Y/N]. Jack talks speaks very fondly of you.”

You gave Jack a quick hug before getting back into your car. It was cute the way the boys trudged after Ford. What really melted your heart was the way Jack looked up to Ford, completely enthralled by the amazing man leading him and Dipper into the woods.

Of course, a flutter was in your stomach. Family of your kid’s friends never led him off into the woods before, but nothing about Ford set off any red flags. He seemed safe, capable. You made a mental note to invite the Pines family over to dinner soon. They’d really made Jack feel at home in this little town.

By the time evening rolled around, you were standing in your kitchen washing dishes. Your phone was right next to you. Nothing yet. You were about to pick up the phone and call Jack when you heard a car pull up. The door opened, Jack and Dipper’s chatter filling the room.

“In here!” You called. Dipper and Ford followed your son into the kitchen. “You guys have fun?”

Dipper beamed at Jack, but Ford’s gaze was fixed on you. “As promised,” he smiled, “and no children with beards.”

The kids ran off up the stairs to Jack’s room. You dried your hands, turning to the man standing in the middle of your kitchen. You sat at the table and gestured for him to do the same. With this grace about him, he sat comfortably at your table.

“Jack didn’t cause you too much trouble, did he?” You were trying to make small talk, something you had always struggled with especially after your ex. Then, you had learned it was always better to stay quiet. You couldn’t fight if you didn’t speak. “He gets carried away sometimes.”

Ford shook his head. “Jack has never been any trouble. He’s actually very helpful. He’s very intelligent. He created this-“ Ford paused when a clatter came from up their stairs, “Is that normal?”

“Boys,” you shrugged.

Over the next few weeks, you had seen a lot of Ford. Dipper hanging around was normal. One night, they were both sleeping at your house. The next, they were at the Mystery Shack. It gave you some peace and quiet which you appreciated, but, soon, Ford was showing up at your door just to talk to you, often when Dipper and Jack were out exploring with Mabel.

You and Ford had grown quite friendly over that time. You would sit and chat about mostly nothing over tea or coffee or the occasional glass of wine. You were enjoying his company.

Tonight was one of those nights. Ford had brought Dipper and Mabel over for a sleepover. “I promise I made her leave the grappling hook at home,” Ford assured as the kids ran up the steps with their sleeping bags in tow. “I can’t promise, however, that she didn’t sneak it in her bag.”

“Eh,” you grinned. You motioned for Stanford to follow you into the living room. “Luckily, there’s nothing she can break.” Crash. You laughed as you plopped onto the sofa next to Ford. “So, no experiments to conduct tonight or are you just playing chauffeur?”

“Chauffeur.” He stared at you for a moment. You noticed that a lot lately. He reached out, brushing something from your cheek. “Sorry,” he blushed, “you had some flour or something-“

Before you could respond, three kids came barreling by you, “Hey, no running in the house, Jack!”

“Sorry, mom!”

They kept running. Mabel, however, stopped in her tracks. She had seen that. She saw the blushes and Ford’s hand on your face. “What’s going on here?”

“Mabel,” Ford warned. One of your eyebrows raised as you noticed his blush grow deeper, “Go play.”

Her feet planted themself in your throw rug. Her usually sweet grin was wicked, “Is Jack about to be my new cousin?”

Your back straightened. Had Jack said something? You didn’t think he had heard you on the phone with one of your friends from back home, yapping on and on about Jack’s friend’s hot uncle.

“Grunkle Ford has a crush on you!” She ran off.

You stared at Ford and he stared at you. Both of your eyes were wide. You two were concentrated on the other, looking for some sign that Mabel was lying.

That was when the boys came running by again, but it was Jack who stopped then. His grin was just as devious as Mabel’s had been. “Mom has a crush on you!”

Your head fell into your hands in embarrassment as the kids laughed maniacally in the distance. Ford was on his feet. For the first time ever, he was at a loss for words. His attention was only on you. A part of him was hoping you’d confirm what Jack had screamed. You wanted him to do the same. But, the silence ticked on. Even when you finally had the courage to see his face, he stood silent.

“Please apologize to your husband for me,” Ford’s voice was curt and dry. “I think this has gotten out of hand.”

You blinked as you tried to comprehend what he just said. His words weren’t really registering until he was opening the front door. “I’m not married. Not anymore, at least.” That seemed to catch his attention. Suddenly? You couldn’t stop yourself. When the subject had been broached in the past, you had avoided it masterfully. Now, you couldn’t. “Jack’s father and I divorced a little over a year ago. The yelling, the emotional manipulation, I couldn’t do it anymore. So, I left.”

Ford stared blankly at you, but you continued. “Jack’s telling the truth. Its silly. We’re grown adults. I know-“

He kissed you, “I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”

“Awww!” Mabel cooed from the top of the steps, “Jack, you’re our cousin now!”

#gravity falls #gravity falls x reader #ford pines #stanford pines #ford pines x reader #stanford pines x reader #chillinglyadventurousfics #mabel pines #dipper pines

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bonny-kookoo · 4 months ago

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Jungkook

Fluttering [Teaser]

What will it take for him to finally get you to look his way for more than just a fleeting smile?

Tags/Warnings: kind of arrogant!Jungkook, Fboy!Jungkook turned devoted lover, Idol!Jungkook, angst, teasing, flirting, adult themes such as smut, JK being humbled

There is no taglist for this fic.

-> Masterlist

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

So that's not enough, huh?

Everyone cracks at the prospect of expensive gifts at some point, and he knows this best. They all end up in his bed at the end of the day, even if they say they're not that kind of girl. Some neatly packed Dior packages sent to their door with a sweetly written card inside the boxes, and they usually all repay his kindness with time spent in his bed, gasping for air at his demonstration of his capabilities at being a lover worth his title.

He's a singer. A songwriter too, if he wants to be- so of course he can always find the right words to create a siren song tailored to anyone he'd love to have beneath him.

And he will find the right words for your ears too, sooner or later.

They all just want him to work for it, and he's willing because of course he is. He's not some kind of dumb boy who needs to persuade his victims into something they don't want- down the line, he only plays with the girls that willingly participate in the game of chase.

They all make the first step, after all. He's never the one to initiate- he doesn't have to. Which is why you're so confusing- giving him signals at first, just to back out later, shamelessly turning him down like you changed your mind.

But he knows you didn't. He's heard you talk to Jimin, has read the text you sent him last week about him. He's your type, and you're interested, surely- but not in what he typically offers.

You want something lasting. You want him to stay.

He's walking down the way he was told with confidence, well aware of how his body is shaped and proportioned. You've once compared him to one of the marble statues you saw at the Louvre museum in paris, back when you both didn't even know each other. He'd jokes that he's packing a lot more than those statues between his legs, trying to flirt in his usual boyish tone-

But you had just laughed. Nothing else. No shyness found in your face whatsoever.

So he bought you gifts he believed you'd like- but even then, after you had told him that he couldn't buy your affection with things like that, he'd apparently missed the mark and believed you were someone you're not. So he bit the bone, like a starving dog.

What does it take to get you to crack? How long can you keep this up?

You're standing with the staff next to the man with the dynamic camera, watching him, and it makes him feel some type of way he can't quite put his finger on. He's putting even me effort into this scene as he would typically- showing off not just his physique, but also his confidence in it, playing into it all with ease and full force. It's like he's dancing in the moment, with no one but time and the thought of you one day giving him the attention he so dearly craves.

His fingers tap over the piano keys so delicately that he hopes you can see the close up shot on the small screen of the camera next to you. It's with the same nature that he would touch you, for sure. He'd worship your body, treat it with hands soft and kind, if you want him to. Or he could be a little rough, and show you how it feels like to be played just like this instrument, where he taps the last key, fingers dancing.

They could do so much more to you, if you'd just let him.

And one look tells him that you're not watching the screen, but him- eye contact heated, but not from anger or shyness. No, that glimmer in your eyes tells him that he's finally caught your attention, finally you're looking at him with a similar sense of interest that he has inside his bones as well.

He's long lost interest in anyone else easily willing. He wants you.

He wants you to want him too. He wants to ruin you, wants to show you that there is no one else but him that has what it takes to be deserving to be at your side. It might've all begun with him just wanting to ruin you, hear you beg for him and fall for his pretty face like many others before-

But by now, he just wants you, seven days a week, every hour of the day if he can. Devotion to one single thing has never been easy for him, interests changing and switching all the time like channels on a TV whenever there's nothing good to watch. But you? You’re his first constant. Never changing. A craving never satisfied by anything else. A thought he can't push from his mind.

You think he can't devote himself to you, can't turn only to you, and be loyal. And of course, his past behavior does not really support his claim he made towards you that he could do just that- but he wants to at least try. he knows he can do it, if you were to just let him show you how deep his devotion can run if he was given the chance. You're just what he wants, every minute spent together no time wasted in his eyes, even if you just sit in silence.

He wants you.

He wants to have your heart fluttering just like you cause his to do the same.

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook imagine #bts jungkook imagine #bts smut #bts jungkook fanfic

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yanderecrazysie · 11 months ago

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Twisted Zoo: Chapter Two

This is based on the stories of a keeper reader with the octotrio by @ashensgrotto and @merakiui .

Also @twistedcece @cenatour @ursinaw @xiaopleasecomehome @bearshideout @koebishrimpuwu @v-sh @help-whatdoimakemyusername @secret-potion @magmdnv @sunshine-for-serotonin @mel-star636 and @thisisafish123 wanted to be tagged! Let me know if anyone else wants to be tagged for future chapters. If you no longer want to be tagged, please tell me! (I hope the tags worked, I'm new to having a tag list!)

Summary: You’re a brand new zookeeper at The Halfling Zoo- a place where half-animals live in captivity. Your job is simple- feed them and study them. Your main worry is that one of the more dangerous halflings might kill you.

Unfortunately, that may become the least of your worries.

Previous chapter: Chapter One

Next chapter: Chapter Three

WARNINGS: none for now

Note: All characters are aged up, since there will be mature themes in future parts.

Also, I can’t promise I’ll finish this. I suck at finishing stories.

Note 2: I’m in love with Ruggie, so I accidentally made half of this chapter about him. Oops.

—----------------------------------

You decided that the best course of action would be watching from afar. The hyenas were afraid of you, the king of the lions didn’t like you, and the wolves were wary of you. All in all, not the greatest situation.

You didn’t know what you expected. Did you really think they would all love you from day one? They were half-animals, after all. They had the instincts of wild animals, not domesticated pets.

Still, you were determined to make them like you. The hyenas would probably be easiest, once they warmed up to you. The wolves would probably get used to you eventually. The lions- well, that was a tricky situation. They all followed Leona, so you’d have to win him over before you could win over the entire pride, and that would not be easy.

You grabbed your journal and pen from your locker and walked to the savannah exhibit’s door. This time, you had brought a water bottle with you, prepared for the upcoming heat you would have to face. You had also bought binoculars from one of the vendors, knowing you would need it if you were going to keep some space between you and the halflings.

You entered the exhibit, wincing at the heat that hit your skin. You scanned the dry land for the hyenas and found them lounging around the watering hole, talking amongst themselves. You stepped behind a large rock and leaned over it, raising your binoculars to your eyes.

It was impossible to hear what they were saying, but they seemed to laugh a lot. You really wished you knew what they were saying, but if you approached them, they would probably stop their conversation and focus on getting away from you.

Day 1

HYENAS

There are seven hyenas and they all seem to be close to each other, as they stick together in a group. Their conversations seem to be humorous, as they are often laughing. This could be from their hyena half, as hyenas are known for their “laugh”.

Each of the halflings are easily differentiated by their hyena ears and tail. They all seem to be around 5’5, but even the tallest ones do not hit 6 feet.

They are relaxed until a female approaches them. In this case, all seven hyenas are male, so the problem starts when a female keeper tries to feed them or study them up close. They suddenly become extremely wary or even frightened and are very hesitant to come anywhere near a female keeper.

The best way to calm them down, I believe, is to show them that you are not aggressive like female hyena halflings are. It doesn’t get rid of their fear, but it definitely helps.

You peered through your binoculars and watched the six hyenas as they drank from the watering hole- most of them scooping water into their palms and drinking from their hands, while others put their head down to drink directly from the source.

Wait- six hyenas? Weren’t there seven?

You felt a hot breath on the back of your neck and you spun around, heartbeat skyrocketing. There, standing behind you, was the hyena halfling you had talked a little bit with when you were handing out breakfast.

He retreated to a safe distance and sat down, cross-legged, studying you curiously, a slight smile on his face as though he was proud that he had frightened you. Suddenly, you were all too aware of the claws on his fingers and the unnaturally sharp canines that shone in the sunlight when he flashed you a lazy smile.

“Shishishi,” he giggled, eyes locked on you, waiting for your reaction.

“You scared me, Ruggie!” you said, your heartbeat starting to go back to its normal pace.

His grin only widened. You noticed his eyes flickering from you to your notebook.

“Oh! Are you interested in my notebook?” you asked, holding it out to him.

Ruggie frowned, looking a little offended, “I can’t read.”

Oh. You felt your cheeks growing warm. Of course a halfling, who had spent his life in the wild and then captivity, wouldn’t know how to read. It was a miracle that any of them had picked up enough English to be able to speak it.

“Do you want me to read it to you?” you asked.

Ruggie’s eyes widened and he cocked his head at you. Finally, he shook his head. A little disappointed, you closed your notebook. “That’s alright. Did you want to talk?”

Ruggie shook his head once more and you felt yourself at a loss for words. You weren’t sure why he was still here if he wasn’t interested in talking. One of the other hyenas made a whooping sound and Ruggie responded with his own hyena noises, turning his attention to the other hyenas for a moment before he turned back to you.

You decided to try to get him to speak to you, “So, did you enjoy breakfast? You had three servings, after all.”

Finally, Ruggie nodded then, as an afterthought, added, “I like donuts better.”

“Donuts?” you couldn’t help but laugh, “Would you like it if I brought some?”

Ruggie’s eyes widened, “Donuts?”

“Yeah!” you said happily, “My boss said I could bring you guys anything, as long as I paid for it with my own money.”

He looked at you like you had hung the stars in the sky, “Donuts!”

Ruggie called back to his friends with a series of whoops and other hyena noises and they responded back enthusiastically. You wished you could understand their language.

You turned back to your notebook.

It seems like hyena halflings like sweets or, at least this group likes donuts. One of them, the one named Ruggie, seems like he has warmed up to me a little. We talked a little, mostly about donuts, but I feel like he isn’t as scared of me as the others are.

Ruggie seemed to have had enough, because he stood up and, with a curious glance back at you, he ran off to join the others, kneeling by the watering hole to drink along with his peers.

You were a little disappointed by how short the conversation had lasted, but more than anything, you were excited that you had a conversation with a hyena halfling at all. Ruggie still seemed a little wary of you, but much more comfortable with your presence than earlier.

It was a step in the right direction.

You were not looking forward to seeing Leona, but you were already in the savannah exhibit and the lions weren’t too far off. The pride’s positions were the same as this morning’s, with Leona lounging on the large rock while the other lions sat and laid on the grass beneath him. The lions were either napping, grooming their hair, or just talking quietly amongst themselves.

The lions were not frightened by you and why would they be? They had a killer bite and claws on each hand. They regarded you lazily, as if you bored them a little.

“Hello, everyone!” you did your best to not sound as terrified as you felt. None of the lions stopped what they were doing for you, continuing their actions as if you weren’t even there.

You hadn’t even noticed at first that Leona was awake, until you glanced at the rock, hoping to get a reaction from him.

He sat up on the rock, staring at you with an impassive expression. Despite his lack of a warm welcome, your heart soared. This was your chance!

“Hi there!” you said cheerfully.

He looked down his nose at you, clearly not impressed by your greeting.

“Did you have a good nap?” you asked.

Leona continued to stare at you, unimpressed with your attempts at earning his attention.

“So, I know your name is Leona, but would you like to know mine?” you asked hopefully.

Leona’s eyes turned to the right, as though he was making a decision. Finally, he spoke in that slow, rumbling voice of his, “Whatever, I don’t care. Go ahead”

You smiled up at him, pleased that you had gotten his permission, even though he wasn’t as interested as you had hoped, “I’m (Y/n), it’s nice to officially meet you.”

Leona laid back down but didn’t close his eyes, watching you as you looked back at him.

“Did you eat your steak? I don’t want you to go hungry.”

Leona’s eyes widened a little, as though you had taken him by surprise. And maybe you had.

His gaze evaded yours as he responded to your question, “Yes, I ate it.”

“Oh good!” you smiled happily up at him.

Leona studied you closely, clearly unable to read you. Leona tilted his head and turned away from you, “Is that all you need?”

“I’ll write in my notebook, if you’d prefer me to do that.”

Leona grunted in response and closed his eyes.

DAY 1

LIONS

The lion halflings are not shy like the hyenas, but they are hesitant to talk to me. I feel as though, if I earn their king’s acceptance, I will be able to talk to them all. The king has started to talk to me, even if it was only a few words.

The lions are taller than the hyenas, most around 6 feet tall. They are easily differentiated by their lion ears and tail. There are 19 lions, with most being female, and only one cub.

Unsurprisingly, the lion halflings spend a good chunk of their time sleeping. I assume this is from the lion part of them.

“Did you want to read what I wrote?” you asked, sensing Leona’s eyes on you. Your eyes met his and he held your gaze for a few moments before growling, “I’m going to sleep.”

He flopped back down on the rock and closed his eyes again, his breathing becoming rhythmic almost right away.

You didn’t want to bother Leona when he was trying to fall asleep, so you sneaked away, sending an unrequited wave over your shoulder to the other lions. Maybe if you weren’t so determined to get out of the heat, you would have noticed the eyes boring into the back of your head.

The walk to the wolves’ exhibit was a long one. After all, you had to cross half the savannah before making it out into the back hallway meant for staff. Then, you had to push through the crowds to get to the wolf exhibit. At least the crowds weren’t too bad, since evening was on its way.

You were excited that the sun was falling. You’d be able to watch wolf halflings at their preferred time of day. After all, wolves hunted in the twilight hours.

You hoped that didn’t mean they’d see you as prey.

The exhibit door opened easily and you found yourself breathing the air in deeply. It took you a moment to discover just why you liked the wolves’ enclosure so much. Mountain air. Somehow, some way, the zoo had made the enclosure smell like the mountains. The air was even a little thinner here than it was on the pathways.

These wolf halflings must have been living in the mountains when they were brought to the zoo. The thought made your heart hurt a little. Were they offered a deal to live in captivity or were they captured and brought here by force? You didn’t like to think about it too much.

This wasn’t your battle to fight.

The keeper who fed the wolves their evening meal walked past you with full buckets. As she passed you, she gave you a word of advice, “You aren’t gonna find them all together like they are at mealtimes. They all split up, especially in the evening.”

You nodded, a little disappointed. That could make it harder to find them, much less study them. Plus, it’s not like you could look in several directions at once. This might be a little more complicated than you thought.

Or maybe it’ll be fine, you reassured yourself, trying to stay positive.

You reached a steep, downward slope and decided it was probably the best vantage point you would find. You found a nice place to sit down between a cluster of rocks and took out your binoculars.

It took almost half an hour for you to see any movement. Down, at the base of the hill, one wolf halfling walked close to the barrier between the wolves and guests. He had his back hunched in a sort of prowl, and you realized that he was probably in hunt mode.

Excited, you pulled out your notebook to make some notes.

Your pen froze above the paper when you heard a growl.

You slowly turned your head, and what you saw made your blood run cold. A buff wolf halfling with dark gray hair and pin-pricked ears had his lips drawn over his fangs in a snarl. He was growling so ferociously that flecks of spit flew in your direction. His yellow eyes dilated as he grew closer, back hunched as though he were ready to lunge for your throat at any moment.

You gulped, forcing yourself to stay completely still. You were afraid, if you moved, you’d have your throat torn out before you could blink.

The wolf took one step closer, growled one last time, then lunged.

The halfling seemed to stop midair and, before you knew it, he was lying on his side in the dirt a few feet away. The cause of his sudden stop was made clear after a few terrified moments, when your eyes turned upwards.

The white-haired wolf halfling stood with his shoulder still out in front of him. You realized that he had shoulder-checked the older wolf during his attack. Shakily you smiled at him.

“Thank you so much!”

The dark-skinned halfling took a seat on one of the rocks surrounding you. You studied his features, everything from his white tail to his white ear tips. He, on the other hand, watched the older wolf warily.

The older wolf pushed himself to his feet, shaking the dirt from his clothes. His yellow eyes glared at you, but he limped off in the opposite direction, disappearing into the shadows of the trees.

The white-haired halfling turned his attention back to you. You decided to offer your friendship to him.

“My name is (Y/n), what’s yours?”

He stared at you for a moment, before his rumbling voice said, “Jack.”

“It’s nice to meet you Jack,” you said, trying not to come across as too excited to be talking to him. You didn’t want to scare him away with your eagerness.

Jack continued to stare, his golden stare softening a little when he said, “Not safe.”

He didn’t seem to have a very good grasp on the English language, but that was understandable. It didn’t seem like the wolves were all too friendly toward humans.

“I have to stay,” you explained to Jack, hoping he would understand.

“Not safe,” Jack replied. He got up from his sitting position and crossed the distance between you in less than a second. You watched, trembling, as his one of his clawed hands took hold of the back of your shirt collar.

You blinked owlishly as Jack began to carry you by the collar, stunned by his behavior and not wanting to tick him off by fighting. From what you could tell, he didn’t seem to want to actually hurt you, but you didn’t want to push your luck.

After a long walk, Jack set you back down on your feet. He pointed one clawed finger behind you. “Not safe.”

You turned around and, to your surprise, you were met with the exhibit door. Comprehension dawned on you. He wanted to keep you safe.

“No, no, I’m okay,” you soothed, “I have to study-”

“Not safe,” Jack responded, voice even gruffer.

You tried to come up with the perfect solution. You had to soothe Jack but you also had to do your job.

“Well, you could protect me,” you suggested.

“Pro-tect?” Jack’s eyes widened.

“Yeah, keep me safe,” you replied. Jack took a while to think that one over. Finally, he nodded.

He followed you back to your spot like an obedient puppy, but refused to sit down, choosing instead to hover over you, eyes darting in all directions.

Day 1

WOLVES

Wolf halflings tend to be around 6 feet tall, distinguishable by their wolf ears and tails. There are 12 of them in this zoo, with 6 females and males each.

Some of the wolf halflings are very aggressive, and this seems to amplify in the evening hours, possibly because these are their hunting hours. One wolf, however, acts in a protective manner towards me.

It is interesting to note the wolf halflings appear to be in hunting mode despite just being fed.

All of the halflings, save for one, have hair and fur in different shades of gray, while one has white hair and fur.

You didn’t see any other wolves for the next few hours and you eventually decided it was time to go home. Jack shadowed you on your way to the exhibit entrance. You waved goodbye, and he mimicked the action awkwardly.

Laughing a little, you went home for the day.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland

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