#put off making this for 24 hours because although the lighting is very pretty on screen it's terrible for my broken eyes

[perths]

"since i've met white, i started knowing what happiness was"

DEAD FRIEND FOREVER - EPISODE 11

[noparadiseinthis]

English is not my first language. Bear with me, Grammarly helps, but it doesn't work miracles

When I realize I'm still human

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick/fem!Reader

Warnings: Gaz vaguely mentions the kind of violence in his work. Apart from that, just pure cuteness and fluff.

Summary: Gaz comes home at dawn after a mission and finds you asleep on the sofa. The reason surprises him.

"Thanks for the ride, Johnny," Gaz said as he closed the car door, putting one of the backpack straps on his shoulder. "Drive carefully."

Inside the car, Soap rolled his eyes at the show of concern, but with an affectionate smile. "I'm the careful one, kid." And with that, he pulled the car away with one last wink before driving off, causing Gaz to snort in disbelief before entering the building.

The clock on the desk of the doorman who greeted him gave away how late it was, crushing all his hopes of kissing you and eating with you before going to bed. A hot bath would have to suffice, at least he had someone in his bed waiting for him.

It was his first mission since you decided to move in together, and as long as he could see your face and hold your warm body against his to remind him of all the good things that existed beyond the evil he saw and did at work, he could fall asleep with a certain peace.

He climbed the stairs quickly and quietly, always a little tense about using the elevator after returning home. Images of all the chaos, destruction, and violence he had seen kept flashing through his mind, and he swore he would leave it all behind as soon as he walked through that door - or when he turned off the shower - just as he swore he would never let any of it influence his relationship. Outside, he was Sergeant Garrick. For you, he would always be Ky. And Ky wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night with nightmares that disturbed your sleep.

He smiled when he noticed that the door was locked, even though there was a 24-hour concierge at the residential building. My clever girl, he thought, pulling the keys out of his pocket with a sigh as he prepared to enter the house for the first time in weeks.

What he saw inside, however, was not at all what Kyle had expected. The lights were all off, but seeing in the dark was second nature, and he could make out a silhouette lying on the sofa in the living room. He frowned, his hand instinctively going to his hip, where his holster was until he realized that he knew that form curled up under so many blankets. He sighed in surprise, locking the door again behind him and approaching silently.

His assumption was confirmed when he saw your face peeking out from under the mountain of blankets you always slept under, which brought a smile to his face when he noticed how familiar it looked. He couldn't resist crouching down and raising his hand to gently caress your face. Why on earth were you sleeping there? On that old sofa that was begging to be replaced, where your back would surely ache, and not in the bedroom, in the very comfortable king bed you helped choose? He barely noticed when your touch woke her up.

"Ky?" you asked, rubbing your eyes and wondering if it was another one of your sleep delusions.

"Hi, pretty girl," he said, with a huge smile opening up, his thumb tracing your cheek "What are you doing sleeping here?"

You gave a shy smile, leaning closer to his touch and trying to smell him. If you had been more awake, you would have jumped into his lap and showered him with kisses, but there, at that moment, that sleepy comfort was all the reassurance you needed.

"It didn't feel right," you whispered, "sleeping in bed without you. I couldn't relax without you by my side. So I came here."

Kyle's eyes widened a little, his heart swelling inside his chest. Although he felt guilty knowing that you were hurting yourself because of him, he couldn't help the warmth that took over his body. The one that said he had a home, someone who loved him and was worth fighting for, doing all the things he did.

"God, I love you."

You laughed softly, holding his cold hand against your cheek and leaving a small kiss on his wrist. "I love you too, brave boy."

"But now, it's time for you to sleep in the proper place, young lady." Kyle said as he stood up and put his arms around you, lifting you with covers and all. Instead of the natural instinct to run away, you clung to him and buried your face in his neck, wanting more of your boyfriend's warmth that you'd been denied for the past few weeks.

"Hmm, Ky..." you moaned appreciatively as he carried you effortlessly. "I've missed you.

"I thought about you all the time," he whispered as if it were a secret.

The walk to the bedroom was short, and when he set your body down carefully on the bed, you stubbornly wrapped your arms around his neck and chest as he tried to get up.

"Doll, I'm dirty; I have to shower."

"No, later." you moaned, almost like a petulant child, reinforcing his grip from which he could escape if he wanted to "Stay with me, Kyle.". But he could never deny you anything.

Gaz let his body relax on the bed next to yours, pulling you against him as he had dreamed of for so many lonely nights, and in his sleepy state, you pulled the blankets up to cover him, too, his body much colder than yours.

"Always, but I don't want you sleeping on that sofa anymore, baby. I'll give you a massage in the morning." He whispered against your skin, stroking your back.

"Anything you want, Ky, but I'm the one who's going to give you a massage."

"No, baby, whatever you want. Now go to sleep, I'm going to stay here".

With soft kisses being planted on your face, you fell fast asleep. And with your loving body pressed against his, Kyle soon followed you into the dream world, happy to have remembered how good it was to be human.

(A/n): I love my boy Kyle and he doesn't get enough love. This was my first time writing for COD

[tgmsunmontue]

Another Time (Chapter 1/14)

Summary: Jake wakes up in Rooster's body about ~30 or so hours post-Mission and they have to deal with it. They're adults. Apparently.

A/N: There seems to be a lack of body-swap in this fandom, so I thought I’d give it a crack. It’s one of my favourite tropes. I am from New Zealand but I write with lots of ‘z’s and remove a lot of my ‘u’s. However I don’t in my author’s note. Hopefully I caught them all – apologies for slip-ups. (I also type with wrist braces on so my finger mobility can be a bit screwy – that said I’m also a fandom old (but not an elder) so while this isn’t my first fic, it is my first in the fandom and after I’ve taken a break.

Jake’s POV for odd chapters, and Bradley’s POV for even chapters.

Also, obligatory note that I have no knowledge of the US Navy (and that whole ‘girl, what were you doing at the devil’s sacrament?’ thing applies here as well in terms of military propaganda).

(Posting on Tumblr, chapter a day until it's complete (currently 12 chapters in), after which I will post it on AO3 once a day until it's complete).

CHAPTER ONE 

               Jake wakes up in the sick bay, his breath coming in gasps as his dream fades into mist. Why is he in the sickbay? He doesn’t remember getting here and that’s never a good sign. There’s only half-light, the room has no portholes just some lights left on the dimmest possible setting; he can tell he’s still on the ship. The last thing he remembers though is falling into exhausted slumber in his rack, Javy below him and Payback and Fanboy opposite. He doesn’t feel right though, body aching all over, skin tight in places it shouldn’t be. He holds his hand up in front of his face and squints. Blinks.

                That is not his fucking hand.

                Okay.

                Deep breath.

                In.

                …

              �� And out.

                …

                Again.

                 …

                He tries to sit up and needs to slow down the movement, body stiff and he’s not in his own body. Or there’s something very wrong with his head. Or both. He’s staring at mostly bare feet that don’t belong to him (one is wrapped in a bandage and is slowly throbbing in time with his heart – it doesn’t feel like a good idea to test bearing weight on it) when the door to the sickbay opens abruptly and he just stares. He guesses he knows where his body got to.

                “Thank fuck! You okay?”

                “I… Rooster?” He’s hazarding a guess, but it’s the only one that makes sense. He has no idea where Mav is, the other bed is empty. And he’s somehow in Rooster’s body, and not in a way he previously imagined was ever possible.

                “Yeah. Fuck this is weird. You’re in my body.”

                “Yeah, no shit. You’re in mine. What the hell happened?”

                “I don’t know! I woke up in your rack and promptly whacked my head because I thought I was here…” Rooster says, putting his hand to his (Jake’s) forehead where a bump is already forming.

                “Be a little more careful with the goods there…” Jake says, and he feels like throwing up a little, although honestly he’s not sure if that’s in response to seeing himself through someone else’s eyes or if he’s feeling Rooster’s concussion. This is already a colossal mindfuck and he’s only been awake for a few minutes.

                “Yeah, you too. Are you feeling okay? I was feeling pretty shit yesterday.”

                “I can confirm this body still feels like shit.”

                “Okay, here, drink some water. I’m allowed to take some ibuprofen. That’ll help.”

                “We need to report this?”

                “No! Fuck. No… I mean, maybe it’s just a short 24 hour thing?”

                “You think it’s like a stomach bug? You think people just change bodies with someone and it goes away overnight?”

                “You have any smarter ideas? I want on the next transport off, and if they think I’m not stable enough to travel… or if something is wrong –”

                “There is something wrong!” Jake hisses, because he is not okay with this. Maybe if he wasn’t feeling like he’d ejected and then crash landed he’d be more… relaxed. Fuck if he knows. He can’t argue with wanting to get back to shore though.

                “Okay, there is. But let’s get back to shore, RTB and then… figure out a plan of attack.”

                “Oh, I cannot wait to hear what you think might work.”

                “Shut up.”

                The door to the sickbay opens again and they both turn to look at the corpsman entering the room.

                “Morning lieutenants. Any reason you’re here Lieutenant Seresin? Not bothering my patient I hope?”

                “Not at all, I just needed, uh, wanted to check on him…”

                Jake watches his own neck flush in embarrassment, and hmm, that’s interesting.

                “He can, uh, stay, while you check me over,” Jake says, because he has no clue what Rooster was like last night, over than alive. He’d been fine on deck right after Mav had (crash) landed, but he suspects adrenaline had been carrying them both forward for the most part. Now it’s been over 24 hours and he’s pretty sure Rooster’s ankle might be broken, given the sharp increase in pain as it dangles freely. He has no idea where Mav has fucking disappeared to, but he’d been here yesterday when he’d popped in for a quick check-in with some of the others.

                “Well, okay. Let’s look at your ankle first. I hope you weren’t seriously considering walking on it after what I told you last night.”

                “Sorry, forgot. Really need to piss,” he states, which is partial truth and lie. He couldn’t forget something he didn’t know.

                “Hmm. Here then.”

                Jake takes the container and chances a quick glance at Bradley who is fucking smirking at him with his own damn face. Unbelievable.

                “Nothing I ain’t seen before sailor…”

                Jake feels heat flood his face for no good reason and that’s mortifying, he’d take his own neck flush of embarrassment over this any day. Of course Bradshaw means it because it’s his fucking body, but the look the medic is giving them is amused, clearly having drawn their own conclusions and Bradshaw is looking completely unrepentant. Asshole.

TWO

[samithefungus]

I saw the post about Warren with an annoying older sibling reader so how about opposite with reader who like a younger sibling but I'd generally pretty nice to him but needs to be watched 24/7 or else they're going rain chaos

Thanks Anon for the request, i tried my best, hope you like it <3

Warren x "Younger Sibling" Reader (Platonic)

WARNINGS: Nothing this time.

-You and Warren had known each other since you were young, even though he was much older than you

-You were very close to him almost like siblings, and because of that you showed him affection in any way you could

-For example, during his lesson you went there just to bring him some cookies you had bought

- "The newly baked cookies taste better, and these are still warm!" You said

- "Or you were afraid to eat them all by mistake like last time" He answered you

-Apparently he knows you very well

-When you was little you seriously believed that Warren was an eagle, now that you are grown up you know he is not, but you keep pretending to believe it because you don't want to hurt his feelings

-Sometimes you call Warren "Big Brother" since you know it pleases him, being that you know he doesn't have any 'real siblings', but he always wanted some

-You can swear you've seen him get emotional a few times...although he will always deny it

-You gladly listen to his podcast, and that makes Warren very happy

-But your kind character hides a dark side...

-In fact, you are considered to be the chaos in person.

-Warren has also started to calling 'Chaos Child' and actually you don't mind

-For example, you once called Warren to ask him how to put out a fire

-Apparently you had tried to bake a cake, but 'something' went wrong

-'Something' means that you burned the cake and also the oven caught fire

-Warren had to run to your house to help you put out the small fire you had caused

-He can swear he still smells something burning in your kitchen

-Warren can no longer trust even the phrase "I have everything under control" because of you

-For example this time it was Christmas season and you were trying to light the fireplace, but the fire started to spread outside it too; as if that were not enough at that moment Warren called you

- "How are you doing with the fireplace?" He asked you

"Let's just say I made a bit of a mess, but don't worry, I have everything under control" You answered him and then hung up

-And Warren made the mistake of believing you

-After that you ran into the kitchen and opened the faucet to get some water and throw it on the flames

-Strangely you managed to put out the fire by yourself this time, but you had a feeling that something was wrong

-You decided to ignore this feeling you had and lay down on the couch to watch TV

-After about half an hour you noticed water coming out of the kitchen

-Here's what was wrong, you had forgotten to turn off the faucet

-Look on the bright side, you flooded the kitchen, but at least the house didn't catch fire

-In the end, you and Warren spent the evening drying out the water in the kitchen

-Please don't try to fix one of your disasters again, do it for Warren's mental state

- Whenever you phone Warren there is always a 50/50 chance that the phone call is either "Hi Warren, I don't need anything actually, I just wanted to see how you were doing and maybe talk a bit" or "WARREN I (insert chaotic and improbable thing) AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO?"

-You are at least 50 percent responsible for the decline of Warren's mental state

-But in the end he doesn't care, even if you very often drive him crazy he will always be there by your side to protect you like a good big brother

-Please do him a favor, stay away from flammable things for a bit; Warren can't handle another fire

[fallen-goldfishcracker]

I've been thinking obsessively about my gladiator!Hunter au for the past 24 hours straight- so take some random plot drabbles!

Hunter is sixteen/seventeen ish at the start of the story, although he doesn't know his exact birthdate or age. He has been a professional gladiator for at least a year, training at a ludus gladiatorius (a gladiator training school- currently unnamed) in a province countryside near Rome/

He was abandoned by his mother at the age of seven or eight, and was picked up a few years later by a group of slavers, and sold to very small gladiator trainer/manager- called a lanista- to compete as essentially canon fodder in small provinces.

He survived somehow, and began getting more skill and kinda-sorta-almost fame, and around the age of 13 was sold to the ludas gladiatorius just outside of Rome.

What type of gladiator was he? I'm glad you asked! but this answer is gonna get a little long, so I'm putting it under the partition.

There were several types of gladiators, all of which had different fighting styles and armament, and were suited to different opponents. At the moment, I am unsure which type of gladiator he was. His combat style in canon is very light and agile, and he is semi-lightly armored; I want to represent that in this au with giving him those same traits and abilities.

-the lightest and most agile gladiators were the Retiarius; these guys:

They wore next to no armor besides a manica (arm guard) on one arm and a galerus (shoulder-guard) on the other. They fought with a trident, weighted net, and dagger, and were largely looked down upon, even more than already sub-human gladiators, especially if they belonged to the specific subset of retiarius, called: retiarius tunicatus, who were especially "shameful" and "effeminate" because they wore (can you believe it??) clothes. For shame.

Their main paring in the arena was the more heavily armored: secutor

However, I'm not sure if I like the look for my boy, Hunter- and the fighting style doesn't super call to me, so I'm not sure.

The second option is a rarer type of gladiator called a veles, or velites (skirmishers, in English). Because they are so rare, information on them is a little lean, and most mentions of them are from the Total War Wiki, soooo. I'm going to do my best with what I know.

They fought with a small, round shield and a six ft long spear (hasta in Latin), and were lightly armored. They were also given a sword as a backup, should the spear fail or be lost. They were a latter addition to the gladiator games, based off of a subset of the Roman infantry of the same name. In contests, they would be paired against other velietes.

Like I said, there's not a lot of information on them, which is definitely a con, as it makes design a lot more difficult. But-

Look! Wolf Boy! That is definitely a plus.

As I mentioned, the velietes are based off of an actual subclass of soldier in the Republic, pictured above on the left. We can see the spear, sword, and shield, and he also has a tunic and the wolf cap thing which slays. The right one is a warhammer figurine, but listen, supplies are thin. I can assume, using my very limited historical knowledge, that, as gladiators were, essentially performers of the likes of the despicable actors, they would dress as some sort of caricature of the actual soldiers, with the same weapons, and I propose keeping the wolf beanie as it slaps, but the tunic probably would have been ditched for something more revealing, like on the right.

(gosh that was long why didn't a make this a separate post good heavens why)

Whichever type of gladiator Hunter was, over the course of one or two years he would have sparred 5-7 times in an arena, as well as several times at private functions/ banquets depending on his popularity (spoiler: he is pretty popular). He's also the youngest (scout to be made-) professional gladiator, which is very appealing for a lot of people. Everyone likes an underdog, right?

When not sparring, he endures a harsh training regiment at his ludas gladitorius (still unnamed) under his lanista- who I think should be a character from the show but I do not know who at the moment. Although popular and well-liked, he's a very high flight risk, so his freedom is extremely limited. He basically lives and works and exists at the school, except for when he is rented out for contents and arenas 3-4 times a year.

Sometime during the story he gets spotted at a contest by Belos, (that's right lads you knew he was going to show up. You knew it). Belos is a affluent, high-ranking general in the Roman Army, and attends the contest, and becomes very interested in Hunter.

A few months later, Belos celebrates the ten year anniversary of his brother's death with a gladitoral munera, three days of gladitoral combat and feasts, and rents out gladiators from Hunter's ludas gladitorius, mainly because Hunter looks very similar to his dead brother,(wink wink) and Belos is the emperor(ha) of healthy coping. At the end of the munera, Belos buys Hunter from the lanista to become his personal guard, and boom- we have the Golden Guard dynamic from the show!

Small baby headcanon's that don't really relate:

Hunter is a pretty good pickpocket, from those few years on the streets, but if he got caught he was royally screwed because he can't lie for the life of him.

His favorite color used to be red, but since his time as a gladiator he doesn't know his favorite color anymore. During his time under Belos, it becomes yellow.

When he was younger, he tried to run away twice, and because of that was branded on his arm or neck (maybe with the letters FVG, for fugitive??). With Belos's permission, he cut off/hacks it off after he's bought.

His favorite foods are those little honey cakes sometimes served at the banquets the night before gladiatorial contents. The first time he was important enough to go to a public banquet, he ate so much food he got himself sick, and now at banquets he doesn't eat much, to give himself a better chance the next day, but he does have a honey cake if they are provided.

He thought gladiators were super cool until he became one. Think like, a little kid's obsession with superheroes.

He's still sort of scrawny, especially for a gladiator, who were fed a lot of bulky food to give them some fat to cushion blows in the arena, but he has a good amount of muscle, and after he leaves the arena (and maybe after Belos???) he starts filling out more.

Lastly, at sixteen years old, he still hasn't lost all his baby teeth! (even with how many times he's been socked in the jaw)

I'm hoping to work in more characters later, right now I am frankly obssesed with gladiator!hunter and gladiator!hunter only, but I do have some ideas for Hexsquad + the CATT's, so hopefully I'll be able to expand on that.

Anndddd that's that babbbby take the my disorganized rambles for 24 hours of hyperfixation. And yes, I am writing this because if there's one thing I'm good for it's hyperspecific au's of my loveliest boy.

:D

[volfoss]

Cordelia faceup take 3 :3

So the second attempt did not even MAKE it online because I wasn't happy with it. The sealant and paint just were not cooperating with me and the pastels were too pigmented. On a whim I wanted to work on it this morning and mixed up a really good pastel color for her blushing, which then inspired me to wipe the old faceup and start fresh :)

^ the boring steps of well. White as fuck -> painted the right color to match the body. This image is showing how it's slightly off from the head cap (which I painted during the initial faceup) but it DOES match the body really well.

My first step with the faceup was starting by using a pale watercolor (peach color pretty much) to map out the moles on the face, and then another sealant layer before I started blushing. The peach watercolor isn't the permanent color for the moles but it helps me map things out (same thing I do with the eyebrows, starting with a lighter color and then building up the color/adding watercolor pencil hairstrokes on top. Or at least I should because some dolls have such thin eyebrows that I have to do only acrylic. But that's besides the point)

^ much more subtle blush color than I can normally achieve with her :) normally it's MUCH too dark but I feel this really subtly brought some life to her face and some warmth (which I always love to add to my dolls with yellowed resin as I prefer leaning into how it looks instead of trying to use cooler colors to counter balance it)

^ added more blushing here, and added the eyebrow vague shapes and slightly more color added onto the moles to help them not blend into the blush as much lol. I wanted her to have a youthful and happy appearance so the flush is helping to me :). The brows were VERY faintly done (to the point idk if they will survive the sealant lmao) and the moles were touched up slightly, as well as the color on the lips more built up. I promise the brows will get darker it's just scary right now bc of how pale the resin is, if I make ANY mistakes it will show up unless I use a super light pastel. And if I have to redo the faceup well. I'll have to repaint the entire head all over again. So I'd rather build up slow and careful than too fast and make a mistake (although I'm sure I'll make plenty of those the further I get lol, esp since I'm doing a lot of this on nearly 24 hours awake <- not a good time to rely on my hands to be steady sadly)

I went a bit silly watercolor mode but I added some pink to the lips (to mix with the more orange-peach pastel color underneath) and added some medium brown on the moles to do their final highlights. Continued to work on the brows and next layer will be the pencils on them, pencils on lips (since the color underneath is pretty much perfect for what I'm going for). And then the eyeshadow time <- dreading this

^ sideways image bc I stay silly okay. And also far too sleepy to edit it. I've committed to doing this all in one go at this point (at the very least to get to a passable basic faceup). This is not a good idea. Just to be clear. I'm very sleepy.

^ eyebrows and lips done :) also did the waterline, I'm really happy with this. Atm unsure if I want to do a ton of pink eyeshadow or what but I think I will add the freckles next and then try everything on the doll to see if I need it. It was one of the features I rly liked about the original faceup so. Honestly unsure. Do firmly think the lips look a lot better here because well. The first attempts lips were supposed to be pretty natural looking and didn't really end up that way. Very happy with brows even if they're not symmetrical because I think for whatever reason everything is clicking on this faceup like by FAR much more than other times. We will see how it progresses tho lol.

With everything put together, it confirms I do def still want to mess with the eyeshadow but due to the physical symptoms I am stopping for the night. Tomorrow tho? Silly style (eyeshadow and eyeliner and probably freckles and gloss on the lips. We will deal w that later tho)

^ eyeshadow layer one and thankfully going at it on a day where I'm much more awake is helpful. I need to keep building it up as both my sealant method + just how pastels work can take some of the color away but I think it's all coming together. Mainly I want to have a darker layer of pink on her eyelids, as I think that'll look nice, and then I have to do the eyeliner <- dreading this step the most of all I fear. At some point I also need to add freckles which I think is also quite scary. For me, I've done a faceup with all over freckles (Theo's) and was happy with it, but I want these just on the cheeks. And I think hand painting them just doesn't look as good as using the brush flicking method. So I have to also figure out a way to cover the areas I don't want freckles on.

Eyeshadow layer 3 or 4??? + freckles. They will not tell you that toothpicks really work well for freckles but they do. I'm going to seal this layer and then keep working on eyeshadow and eyeliner but I'm nearly done :) I might go in after a couple layers of sealant and do the brush method to kind of add the very small freckles in but using a toothpick is a million times easier than a brush (for me at least. But I have very shaky hands so). I added some light pink paint on the eyelids to emulate a slight color change and then did an even lighter color, blending it together with a wet paintbrush. I am hoping to be able to get the eyeliner thinner than the light pink color but we will see :) so far happy with it since I did want a very vibrant pink on the lids :) unsure what ill do with the eyeliner color (I did a copper/gold combo to make it be a bit more natural looking for the first time but i dont think it popped enough so we will see :))

Ended up on deciding on black eyeliner but here's it done :) the watercolors on the lips still need to dry and I need to gloss stuff properly but that will be in its own post once she's all back together :)

[alexcaldownapier]

Film Project - Week 3/4

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1JHDe7Utgi5OGpbPluzoAHWbk_ugxLQAB?usp=sharing

Exercise 2

Changing the feeling of an interior space. The fear has set in a bit with this one - I’m not very happy, again, with what I made. I put a lot more effort into this week’s exercise, thinking through the lighting, framing and colour palette a lot more. BUT, it’s still doesn’t look great. Currently having some doubts about my ability to create cinematic images, or at least interesting images. I wanted to create a cosy, if a little lonely, mood - which was picked up on by the class, so I guess there’s that. Again, as last week, maybe more ambition would help, especially after seeing Sam’s and Eva’s submissions - both totally and completely transporting the meaning of the space, not just the feeling of the space. Sam’s lighting especially was very moody and dynamic and just great to look at. There’s that ineffable quality to a shot that I really feel I’m missing - some shots you can just look at forever (whereas with mine, a minute is more than enough). There’s thought and what feels like quite cohesive conceptualising for my approach, but nothing that interesting within it (intent and approach outlined in the google doc). Maybe it’s what I’m thinking of shooting, not necessarily how I shoot it? Although I think creating a bit more contrast in the lighting would have helped and also moving lights a bit more off-axis from the camera. I almost like the lighting for the final shot:

The right side of the frame has a bit of contrast and interest with the lighting, but the left hand side feels flat and boring. Anyways, again, it was a very interesting class and I really enjoy the way we’re able to have discussions about our decisions and approach. Always so much fun to see the different ways that the people in this group approach the same task. 

And then, later - the conversations at the end of class where we delved endlessly into technical questions and then a bit more creative and experiential topics - was also very rewarding. It cleared up and deepened a lot of my own ideas about exposure, but did also freak me out quite a bit. The “it” factor that Andrew spoke of is the single most terrifying thing I can think of (most likely due to my fragile, inflated ego). The idea that creating interesting, artistic images is something you can’t totally, entirely learn, is very scary. I think I’m a pretty hard worker and ask a lot of questions and want to know what there is to know, but then there’s the idea of artistic talent. What if I learn as much as I can but there’s a lack of any real talent? The fear of any person interested in art, maybe. I just want to be good! make something beautiful that people actually want to see - where people get more out of it than I do. Because it’s always felt a little selfish to me - art as a career. Unless you’re actually talented and have interesting, kind things to say. I could go on about this, work in the socialist messaging and middle-class guilt that informs this, but we’ve only got 24 hours in the day and I’d hate to waste any more of yours.

Aaaanyways, I know more about ISO now, so yeah, that’s good. Maybe I’ll work out soon if this is something for me to do.

ASC Article - Linus Sandgren and Babylon (2022)

Another interesting one - again about a film I’ve recently watched (I think it’s completely and utterly fine, with a nearly inexcusable amount of stupidity in it’s themes). While the film may have been a bit of a disappointment, the visual approach was at least interesting. Again, I’ve learned more about some techniques - this time push and pull processing of film. I really like the look of the push-processing used in this film and it’s something I want to try out at some point. The concept was then further developed in my mind with the exposure conversations later in the class. While the adding grain in the grade is probably the better way of doing things (more control), I do still want to try it out in camera so I can understand it a bit more in a practical sense. Just like last week, I did have some issues with what the DP said about their process - this time it was the lenses. The film was shot on Atlas Orion Anamorphic lenses as they supposedly have great close-focus capabilities - something I just don’t understand. throughout watching the film, I was getting a little irritated by the number of close-ups that felt soft with the field of focus being halfway through the skull instead of on the face, which to me seemed like a close focus issue. Encourages me again to test, test, test! I did really like the ingenuity of how the period footage was shot - in order to get the hand-cranked feel without destabilising the camera rig they were using, they made alterations so that the DP could remotely change the frame rate as they were filming. In these shots, the frame rate is moving between 18 and 22 fps - a nice wee bit of problem-solving.

Film Project Development - Longboard Nights

More tests, more discussions. Ben and I have been going through each scene of the script and deciding, in broad terms, how the scene will look - shot sizes, lighting, camera motion, colour palette, effects, etc. 

For the flashbacks, we’ve settled on a yellow tinged, soft-lit, handheld POV that is step printed and shot with a 270 degree shutter angle for more motion blur and a smearing effect. Mainly inspired by Fallen Angels and the flashbacks from the Bourne movies. The step-printing I’ve tested, but not with the right shutter-angle, something to try out.

For the training scene at the start, we’re going for a hard, red-gelled key light for a high-contrast, moody image, paired with close shot sizes and camera movement that follows the movement of the character to emphasise their physicality and the aggression in their movements. We’re balancing out the red light with an LED for fill, motivated by a projector in the scene. We plan on using quite strong colours throughout to convey the character’s change - red for rage, yellow for insecurity/fear and blue for peace and calm. 

One worry is the skating scenes. We want to convey the protagonist’s anger and physicality as well as set up the visual language for the coming fight scene. But, we don’t really have the capabilities of fast-moving camera and complicated rigs so we’re looking to see if we’re able to use GoPros and some creative lensing to create more of an intensity to the sequence. Shots could work with a long lense and our actress skating quickly towards us as well as some short movements on a slider/dolly quickly intercut to make the movement feel more consistent. Lots of work-arounds to explore.

Film Project Development - About that one time

Due to the intensity of the pre-production for Longboard Nights, I’ve been kind of neglecting my other film project - a documentary directed by Natalia Baczyinski (someone I’ve wanted to work with for a long while). I love the idea and the beat sheet and the approach! The experiential stuff mixed with a contextualising V.O. intro could make for something very interesting. I’m doing the sound design for this film - one of my favourite things to do. Especially this kind of style: minimalist, realistic but subtly psychological. I can already imagine a lot of the film, without having spoken much to Nat about it. We’re having our first group meeting on Monday and I’m very excited for it. 

See you in a couple weeks. 

[exovapor]

My first attempt at headcannons for the guys as children.

RAPH:

Fully blown oral fixation, a soothing mechanism for insecurities.  Stealing bottles and binkies from his brothers when Splinter wasn't looking.   

He would mainly steal from Donnie (hence D’s leaner frame).  

He targeted Donnie because Donnie’s personality made him was less likely to wail about his missing bottle and more likely to whimper in solitude.  Mikey was a wailer, drama queen in the making.

So attached to his oral soothing rituals that Splinter had to resort to hiding the binkies from Raph when it became obvious that he was WAY too old to be sucking on them.

Always referred to pacifiers as his binkies (never used the word pacifier or passey).

Once his binkies were “stolen away”, he started sticking other things in his mouth instead.  All his crayons, pens, and pencils would be chewed beyond recognition.  He swallowed more than one toy on accident (and had to wait to get it back...ew).  Eventually, moved on to more acceptable items such as lollipops and toothpicks,

What were his insecurities?  Total Middle Child Syndrome...jealousy.

Being the physically ‘bigger’ brother but not the eldest, he always had to submit to Leo’s authority.  Which made no sense to him.  He was big enough to take care of himself.

Resentful that Splinter didn’t think he was responsible enough to watch himself when Splinter left the lair on errands. 

Always thinking that Splinter favored Leo.  (It wasn’t true, Leo just carried responsibility well and could be trusted to make good decisions).

Always thought if they had a Mom that he would be her favorite and not Leo.

Would often watch TV shows with strong female characters and image them as his mother.  HIs favorites were Nell Carter and Roseanne Barr.  He liked their Direct-No-BS-Attitudes.

Another insecurity?  Not fond of the dark.  Needed a light source of some sort on at all times.

Had a Gloworm Doll he slept when until he was....well....he still has it.  It lays on his bed but he doesn’t sleep with it!  It’s just there, you know, it is sentimental.

Still sleeps with a night light on though.

Mikey:

Was a pretty calm baby, as long as he was dry and fed.  If he wasn’t, total water works!

His personality was chill; however, with four others to cater to him, he was used to getting his way.  (Youngest Child Syndrome)

You had a toy he wanted, he wailed until he got it.  

You were watching TV and he wanted to watch Sesame Street, he cried crocodile tears until Splinter, or Leo, made you change the channel.

Was the one who took the longest to potty train.  Splinter still thinks of that lesson as his most fought after achievement as a father!

Oh, and Mikey didn’t like keeping his diapers on either....so, watch where you step!

Was that nudist child, always taking off his clothes and running au naturel all day long.

About the only article of clothing he ever put on voluntarily was his superhero cape.  (What a sight!  Supehero, naked kid).

Would steal Raph’s chewed up crayons and pens and draw on every surface in the lair...then blame it on Donnie. (poor Donnie...not that Splinter ever believed Mikey).

Had a major crush on Barbie.  Watched all her commercials with enthusiasm.  (And God FORBID if you changed the channel during a Barbie commercial!)

Had his own Barbie doll that he’d cuddle with every night.  Actually, still has that Barbie, but she lost her clothes long ago.....also falsely blamed on Donnie.

Other childhood crushes include Kelly from Saved By The Bell, Ashley Banks from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and Topanga from Boy Meets World (although he and Donnie often fought over her).  

Well...that is until Mikey discovered Bay Watch.

Donnie

Was a very quiet, observant baby.  Generally, very calm and non-demanding.

He out grew toys just as quickly as his stretching frame out grew clothes.  They just didn’t keep his interest.

Learned to walk, talk, and potty train all in the same week 

Splinter was grateful for the potty training skill but the talking skill brought headaches.

Donnie was that “why” kid.  

Everything he saw or that was said to him, he had to ask “why”.  Then, when you gave him an answer, he’d ask “why” about the answer!  He wanted to know everything about everything...the kid was exhausting.

Nearly 24/7 Splinter had a lanky kid following him around asking why this and why that.  Splinter was ecstatic when technology advanced enough for Donnie to research information on his own.

Well, that is until Donnie found the more...au naturel... side of the internet.

Splinter still believes Donnie was the poster child for the implementation of Parental Controls.

The only actual toy that Donnie really took to was his plush Hulk Hogan doll.  Splinter thought it was cute that Donnie attached so strongly to the red bandana figure, it must of reminded Donnie of his older brother Raph.

Strange how often Donnie beat up on that doll though...like he had some pent-up aggression towards his bigger brother for some reason.

Donnie and Leo were the wrestling fans of the family.  They would never miss a show.  Jumping around and grappling for hours afterwards and usually breaking something in the lair to Splinter’s dismay.

Fought with Mikey over Topanga from Boy Meets World, because she was so cute AND smart, until he discovered Madame Curie (smart science women are HOT!).

Got tattled on, to Splinter, by Leo, for knowing a “Madam”.

Still to this day prints out pictures of Madame Curie photoshopped in a dominatrix outfit and posts them randomly in Leo’s room.

Leo

A very CLINGY baby.

The type that will not sleep unless you are holding him and then will wake up the moment you try to put him down.

Even in the crawling stage he would chasing Splinter to wherever he was and cling to his robe.

Cooking?  Leo’s hanging on to the robe.  Washing dishes?  Leo’s hanging on to the robe.  Meditating?  Leo’s crawled into your lap.  Showering?  Leo’s crying outside the shower stall until you get out.

In fact, the only way Splinter taught Leo to walk was to take the sash off his robe and put it in the toddler’s hand so that Leo thought he had a hold of Splinter.

Enjoyed watching wrestling with Donnie, loved to practice the moves on Donnie so that he could be experienced enough to use them on Raph.

LOVED board games as a kid (namely Clue, Risk, and Battle Ship).  Heck, who’s he kidding?  He still does!  Don’t ever agree to play with him, you’ll be playing for HOURS (food and sleep be damned!).

As a kid Leo grew more focused on winning his father’s approval through helping to parent this brothers.  

Bonus?  He got to boss them around!

When Splinter would leave the lair on errands he would leave Leo in charge, Leo it called it “Do What Leo Says” time.

More often than not, the entire time was spent with Leo and Raph arguing and the two younger brothers running amuck.  Donnie surfing God knows what sites on the internet and naked Super Mikey trying to see if turtles can really fly.

Love to tell Raph that he saw monsters under their beds or ghosts in their rooms just to even the score for causing trouble when Splinter left the lair.

Feels slightly bad about that now....after all, this HUGE hulk of a brother still sleeps with a Gloworm for goodness sake!

[finelinevogue]

Can you do one where Harry take his children and YN to one of his concert and their just dancing around singing along on stage with Harry.

i love this concept so much!! i kinda of wanna make it sad though soooo it’s gonna be harry’s final show :/ hope you enjoy;

oli - 29, felix - 27, belle - 24

The concert had been amazing, but unfortunately it was coming to its’ end now.

The final show.

That’s what Harry had decided to call it; a clever play on words with reference to his first ever solo single. The last 50 years had been a rollercoaster for Harry, from growing up just a kid in Cheshire, to going on the X Factor and winning the hearts of millions and from being in the most successful band of the decade to going solo and still being absolutely beloved. Times had changed, though. Harry had changed. He had a beautiful family of 3 now, excluding his wonderful wife. His children were his universe, no question about it, but they were getting older now - Harry was getting older. He was 50 this year and with that in mind he’d decided to retire. Retiring had involved a long conversation with you, along with a bottle of red wine, about whether it was the right decision or not. But it was - is.

You had suggested he put on one final, massive show, to celebrate his life and his achievements along with all that the fans have too. Tickets were open internationally and it was being streamed on various TV outlets for those who couldn’t attend. The tickets sold within 47 seconds. 47 seconds. It was being held in the Olympic Stadium in London, because it was Harry’s home and it held the most number of people he could genuinely allow.

The concert had started with ‘Fine Line’ songs, which merged into HS1 songs with a few One Direction songs as well. The entire set list had been composed by the fans with various polls on social media, with the concert supposedly lasting 2 hours (although with support artists and a few extra surprises it was more likely going to be 3!)

It had been beautiful so far. Magical. Unforgettable.

Every chance he got, without making it grossly obvious, he looked at you. He'd told you to stick your thumbs up at him every time he caught your eye, so he knew that you were okay - and every time, you did.

The concert was coming to an end now, which everyone was dreading. How could +30 years feel like it'd only been thirty minutes? You were devastated, so you could only imagine what his fans were thinking.

"Hey!"

The end Kiwi, for the second time, strummed throughout the arena and you knew it was time for the final song. His final song.

"Mum, is this the end?" Belle asked you, from where she was standing next to you. You had been dancing together all night and gotten progressively more tired. Your feet hurt. Your throats burned. Yet, as always, it was so worth it.

"Yes, Belles, it is." You tell her, and she pouted sadly. "Dad won't want to see you sad love, okay? He can still sing to you before bed?" You teased her, reminding her of a time when Harry would do such a thing, not wanting her to be all sad. It was supposed to be a celebration, but even you could admit that is was pretty hard-hitting.

"Really mum?" She asked.

You booped her nose annoyingly, before answering. "Every night if you want him to."

The lights changed from their green tone, thanks to Kiwi, back to a bright, white light. It beamed on Harry, making him look even more like the angel that he is. He dragged his microphone back to the centre stage and took a deep breath for beginning a speech he'd told you he'd prepared.

"So this is it, my friends." He laughed sadly into the microphone. He brushed his hair back and took out his in-ears to hear the audience. They were all awwing and crying, but what else did you expect? Their favourite artist was retiring - who wouldn't be crying a river?

"I, um. I'd like to take a bit of time to thank certain people." He coughed, something he always did after performing Kiwi due to his asthma. You thought it was lovely that he'd planned a speech to thank his management and crew. They did so much work backstage and you definitely didn't think they got enough credit for their hard work.

"Okay. I've made a little list..." Harry pulled out a tiny bit of crumpled paper from his pocket. "Just in case I forget anyone." He joked to himself, but made everyone laugh anyways. "So I guess first off, I should start with you lovely people." He pointed around the whole stadium, showing he was talking about the fans. "What you have done for me is indescribable. I think to myself, everyday, am I worthy of even being here—"

"Yes!" An army of agreement echoed around the arena, making Harry stop, blush and smile to himself.

"Well thank you! Um. You have been the best fans ever, and I know you will continue to be. I know you don't owe me anything, but all I ask you to keep loving yourselves and treating people with kindness, because I know I can count on you lot to do that, for me." He sniffled at the end, making you bite your lip to prevent the tears from falling for you. He looked so vulnerable right now, but you knew he'd be feeling on top of the world.

"Jheez." He sniffles again. "That's one thank you down and i'm already crying." He looked to his band to share the joke with.

“Dad’s such a wuss.” Oli laughed, holding his arm around Beas waist, making the people around you chuckle in agreement.

“Shut up you - Mr-tears-in-your-eyes!” You pointed out, laughing as he flipped you the bird - which then got him a hit off his grandma Anne.

All of Harrys family and friends were here, in a special cornered off section. It was such a thoughtful thing for Harry to do. All his family, and a fair few of yours, were sat down along with Harrys closest friends. Everyone was sharing laughs and drinks, whilst using every inch of space to dance along to your husbands boastful music.

"Secondly, my touring family. From Jeff and Ben, to Sarah's Kitchen, Adam, Mitch, Sarah, Charlotte and Nyoh, not forgetting everyone backstage and behind the lights, music and cameras. You've all been the greatest. Everything you do is second to none. You're all talented, warm-hearted, people whom I will carry in my heart forever. Thank you." You noticed members of the crew and band starting to tear up now.

"Moving on to my boys. We've been through it all, lads, and I couldn't have asked for four better brothers than you all. Louis. Liam. Niall. Zayn. Thank you." Everyone cheered ten times louder, maybe because this was as close to a One Direction reunion as the fans were ever going to get, but definitely because Harry had mentioned Zayn. You saw a girl faint at the mere mention of all the boys in the same sentence. The boys lifted up their beers to Harry, stood close by to where you were standing.

"I guess I should say thank you to the women who made all this possible. Mum. Gem. Thank you for signing me up all those years ago. Thank you for believing in me. You've made me the - crap, sorry! - the man I am now and I love you both." Harry prayed to them both, whilst bowing, and swiftly wiped away the tears afterwards. Anne and Gemma, on the other hand, were proudly crying.

"Ol, Fix and Belles. You rascals make me get out of bed every morning and give me more of a purpose in life. You four give me so much joy and happiness. I love you all, even if you do drive me up the wall on an early Saturday morning! Thank you, my loves." You stood close to all your children, giving them the support they needed in this moment. Belle was crying against your chest, the ever-so-emotional woman she was. Felix was stood up, with Heather, with his drink raised to his dad. Oli was to your side, trying to remain cool and stoic, but you still caught the tears that ran down his face.

"Now." The audience calmed down again after awing over your babies. Harry cleared his throat before beginning again. "This evening keeps on reminding me of a very special person in my life. Someone who is my everything and that's my beautiful wife, Y/N." His words make your breath hitch in your throat. You never expected him to say anything about you. I mean, what had you done?

"Mum." Belle called out to you, in affirmation that this was real.

"She's more than just a wife. She's a lover. She's my muse. She's my best-fucking-friend, apologises for swearing but sue me. I was hesitant to let go of all this, at first. What would I do with myself now? You know? People tell me i'm 'happiest on stage', and for a time that was true. Until I met Y/N. She's made me realise that family makes me the happiest. She makes me the happiest." He jumped down off stage, taking the microphone with him. He ran his hands along the fans in the front row, but had no intention of stopping until he met you.

You felt Belle leaving your side, but you were too captivated by Harry to fully understand what was happening.

"So what am I going to do now, you ask? Well..." Harry cheekily smiled at you. "I'm going to make her the happiest woman alive, just as she makes me the happiest man." You began to cry again and the chorus of thousands of fans clapping and screaming surrounds you, only to all stop when his lips meet yours. He tasted like a combination of salty sweat and mint, but he was home. After a minute of crying, kissing and 'i love yous' , Harry ran back to the stage before Jeff could shoot him.

"Thank you all. All my love." He said whilst adjusting his microphone. "Please sing along if you know the words." He asked, full well knowing every single person will be screaming out the lyrics to him.

"Just stop you're crying it's the sign of the times. Welcome to the final show. Hope you're wearing your best clothes."

[kpoptwitches]

could you do a bts reaction to their so fainting for being so nervous/stressed?

|| Yes, darling! Because of how long the reactions are, I decided to split this up. I wrote this for the vocal line, but I’ll be writing the rap line soon. I hope that’s okay! 🌻 ||

Mafia!BTS Reaction: You Faint Due To Being Nervous/Stressed (Vocal Line)

Kim Seokjin

You’ll be okay.

Jin’s words kept echoing through your head with each step and spin you took on the dance floor.

All you have to do is distract him.

You kept your eyes staring at the floor, not wanting to make eye contact with the rival in front of you. His arm was wrapped around your waist while the held your hand.

Just a couple more minutes, you thought. You could feel your heart pounding against your ribcage. No matter how hard you tried to focus on Jin’s words, your mind kept drifting towards everything that could go wrong at this very moment. Each scenario playing through your head made you woozy, which only got worse when the man dancing with you finally spoke up.

“You’re such a pretty little distraction.”

Your eyes snapped up from the floor, scanning over his features. You noticed the dark glint in his eyes. The twisted smirk firmly planted on his lips. The pounding of your heart became more erratic. Your head began to feel light.

“What,” you replied, your voice becoming hoarse and shaky.

His grip on your waist tightened, pulling you suffocatingly closer to his body.

His lips grazed over your ear before he finally whispered, “I know what your doing here with me, sweetheart. Tell your boyfriend I said hi.”

Nausea flooded through your body. You stopped dancing, only to feel yourself rocking from side to side.

“I-I don’t ..” your voice trailed off.

Your eyes fluttered shut and your body dropped down onto the dance floor.

Jin watched the scene unfold through the cameras. His jaw clenched tight. He shouldn’t have put you in this situation. He grabbed his gun, shoving it into the waistband of his pants, before heading out of the security room.

“You’re going to be okay, princess. I’m coming to get you. Just hang tight.”

Park Jimin

Although you hated violence, you wanted to go support your boyfriend during one of his fighting matches.

You just never expected that the first time you went would be the time the police decided to raid the building.

You stood in horror while the police broke down the door, barging in with full riot gear. Their guns held firmly in their hands. They began shouting and shoving people down to the ground. You felt a hand gently hold onto yours before being tugged in the direction of an emergency exit.

“Jimin, where are we-”

Your whispering was cut off by the sound of an officer shouting at the two of you to freeze. Instead of listening, your boyfriend gripped your hand tighter and broke off into a sprint, bursting through the exit.

You were pulled along by Jimin, running down the street, taking random twists and turns. Anything just to lose the officer that was tailing you. When the footsteps behind you could no longer be heard, Jimin pulled you into a park, hiding in a series of bushes and shrubs.

“Fucking pigs,” Jimin spat, glaring off in the direction of the street.

You never realized how woozy you felt until you finally stopped moving. Your muscles felt weak. Your eyes had a hard time staying open. The world around you was spinning.

“Jimin..” you tried speaking again, only to be interrupted by your body falling to the ground. Limp.

He quickly turned his focus from the street to you. Jimin wasted no time wrapping his arms around you, lifting you off the ground.

“Hey hey, wake up, darling. Fuck! I should have paid more attention .. Let’s get you out of here.”

Kim Taehyung

You couldn’t stop yourself from biting the skin off your bottom lip. Your leg bounced anxiously up down. Your hands gripped the wrinkly sleeves of your sweater.

You needed to know if they found him. You needed to know if they found the man targeting you.

The doors to the office swung open revealing your fiancé and a few of his comrades. He immediately walked up to you, an apologetic look swirling in his eyes.

Your heart sank. More panic swelled up in your chest, causing it to become painfully tight. He hasn’t said those dreadful words yet, but you knew it was coming.

“We didn’t find him,” Taehyung’s voice broke the silence as he knelt down in front of you.

Those 4 words were your worst nightmare. Although you knew they were heading your way, you weren’t prepared for the crushing weight that followed.

“We are going to find him, sweetheart. I won’t let him get anywhere near you. He can’t stay off our radar for long ..”

Taehyung’s voice trailed off, sounding more and more in the far off distance. You could feel yourself beginning to hyperventilate. Your mouth ran dry. Everything around you became blurry. You could feel yourself shifting from side to side, before your body finally went limp, collapsing back into the leather chair.

Taehyung instantly stood back up, checking your pulse. Relief flooded through his body when he could feel the consistent pattering against his finger tips. He turned towards his men, eyes growing dark.

“You! Go get the doctor and be quick. As for the rest, I want everyone out searching for that bastard. Now. If he’s not found within the next 24 hours, things are going to start getting ugly.”

Jeon Jungkook

The music in the club was blaring, vibrations and lights bounced off the surrounding walls. Your hips swayed to the beat of the music, feeling utterly happy and relaxed.

All you wanted was one night to be able to let loose..

Your good time was interrupted by Jungkook wrapping an arm firmly around your waist, hastily dragging you off the dance floor.

“Hey, what are you-”

You tried to question your fiancé, but the sound of a gunshot rang through your ears. Your heart began to beat rapidly, overwhelming amounts of anxiety quickly swooped in.

In a matter of seconds, the club turned into a frenzy. People ran screaming in all directions. More and more gunshots continued to echo throughout the building.

Jungkook immediately pushed you down behind a row of booths, using them to shield you from the violence. He pulled out his gun from the waistband of his jeans and started firing into the crowd.

Your head began to feel light, the world around seemed as if it was spinning. Small black dots scattered themselves around your vision. You blinked rapidly, hoping to erase the darkness that was quickly creeping in.

“Hey, sweetheart,” you heard Jungkook’s voice mutter, “Are you doing okay?”

You let out a yelp, hearing a bullet ricocheting off the back of the booths.

“E.. Everything is spinning, Kook,” you mumbled, gripping onto your head.

You could fear a panicked ‘fuck’ leave his lips. Even though he was right beside you, his voice sounded far away. You could feel his arms wrap around your waist, hoisting you up off the ground.

“We are going to get you out of here, just hold on for me, okay?”

You tried to nod, but the moment you stood up, everything hit you. Your knees buckled, your eyes fell shut and you collapsed into Jungkook’s arms.

Jungkook could feel panic rise up in his chest the moment you became unresponsive.

“Shit, c’mon, wake up, babygirl. Now is really not a good time for you to be passing out on me.”

[wizkiddx]

worst case scenario part 5

finally!! so sorry its been an age to anyone still here but lives been interesting atm so....  also this really feels a bit rambley and the ending is deff underdeveloped but I just kind of wanted this done tbh x 

[previous part] [part 1] 

warnings:  hospitals - ICU, ventilation that sort of stuff, just a lot of ANGST post a difficult birth - please don't read if this could be upsetting for you, and my inbox is always open if u wanna chat :) 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a complete 360 degree flip from earlier that day, after leaving the hospital Tom had become obsessively attached to Aurora. They’d got back to his parents place in Tom’s car; Aurora in the carseat Y/n and Tom had ready in their car door for her arrival. Clearly his parents had already pre-warned his brothers, who had thankfully already gone over to Tom and Y/n’s - collecting the Moses basket amongst other items Harry had been listed off from his mother. 

Apart from explaining a little behind her name to his parents on the journey back, Tom had spoken very little, choosing to keep himself to himself - physically stationing himself beside the Moses basket the whole time. Of course, there had been a bit of light conversation and almost procedural passing round of Aurora between all her uncles and grandparents, which Tom had kept a wether eye on - but ultimately not engaged. 

He also knew that physically his body was failing him. Although eating a little of the lasagne Sam had made for everyone, he could only stomach a minuscule amount, which did little to boost his energy levels. It felt as though sleeping was the enemy, because he was neither ready to leap into the car if the phone went; or to hear the smallest sound from the wicker basket, suggesting something was wrong. So as much as he tried to fight it, before even nine o’clock he began to dose off on the familiar couch of his parents sitting room - occasionally jerking himself awake before loosing the fight once again.

Nikki had tried to gently push him to take a break in the spare bedroom, which had been Tom’s before he’d moved out, but was unsuccessful - every time he retaliated with a stern shake of his head, while checking his phone just in case he’d missed a notification. Eventually Nikki relented, later in the evening both her and Dom retiring to bed; once Sam had agreed to stick around downstairs till a bit later - as a chef he worked till late in the nights, so even on his days off like today, his sleep schedule was just a little fucked. 

Left alone with his new little niece and now pretty firmly asleep brother, Sam draped a blanket over the latter just in time for Aurora to start fussing in the need of a bottle. His mum had explained how to do everything, how to mix the formula and heat it up, so after scooping up the little wriggling girl in the hope his brother wouldn’t get disturbed, Sam dealt with her. To be honest no matter how clueless and useless he felt, Aurora was just so cute - if a little wrinkly and alien looking, but in a good way. This was the first baby any of them had had, so the first time Sam experienced this instant connection and love for the little being that was his niece or nephew. It was terrifying, lifting the bottle against her lips for the first time, but then it just sort of seemed to work. She was incredibly smart for less than 24 hours old, instantly latching on, like she had done for Haz at the hospital. 

That gave Sam a little confidence in his ability as an uncle, giving himself a satisfied nod while swaying from the kitchen to move back into the living room. It was just a preference to be within reach of Tom… just in case. His poor brother still hadn’t moved, slumped against the corner of the sofa, leaning toward the now empty Moses basket. Normally, Sam seeing his supposed heart throb of a brother looking as rough as he did now - double chin, mouth hanging slightly open, deep sunken eyes - he would’ve taken a photo to blackmail him with. Now though, it was just desperately sad, seeing his brother like this, hand still clutching his phone tightly above the blanket. 

Rather hoping the calm would last for a while, Sam successfully finished off feeding Aurora; winded and then put her down to sleep again just in time. Because, perhaps expectedly, Tom’s phone began to blare off the default iPhone ringtone making Tom jump and throw the device across the room as he awoke with a start. Sam ran to grab it off the floor, mainly with the hope of turning it off before Aurora was awoken too - knowing that it was best tonight to tackle one thing at a time. 

And so he immediately swiped to answer the call, not even registering who the call was from, much rather just wanting the noise to stop. 

“Hello?”

“Sam? It’s Harrison” Tom had jumped up from his seat hovering beside Sam with petrified look. It took barely seconds for Tom to snatch the phone back, launching questions down the receiver. 

“Slow down would you? Y/n is fine I was just phoning to check in.”

“Oh er yeh… um sorry I just… just thought…”

“It’s the other way mate. Nurse says she’s starting to get there cos first she moved her arm a bit when we pinched her shoulder and then I just called because she started to like gag and now the ventilator thing is gone.”

“W-what?”

“I think she’s breathing by herself? Like she’s got an oxygen mask instead of the tubes down her throat.” Clearly Harrison was not, by any means, a medical expert. 

“They said she would have the ventilator for a few days at least.”

“I guess Y/n got bored? To be fair she couldn’t ever sit still.”

“I’m coming to you.”

“Tom it’s nearly midnight, I was supposed to be kicked out at 10. Just come back in the morning, they won’t let you in I’m pretty certain.”

“What if she wakes up!”

“Then they’ll call you! She’s getting better Tom you should be try and relax for like a second.”

“FUCK OFF HAZ! If she wakes up all alone and terrified then-“

“I’m not going to having a screaming match on the phone with you. I think we both know you wanting to come is more for you than for Y/n, because Y/n would want you to be looking after Aurora.”

Again guilt tripping using the newborn. Harsh but effective. Stopping Tom’s anger dead in it’s tracks.

“Look I can put the nurse on for her to tell you they won’t let you in and they’ll call if anything happens - but you already know that.”

“Yeh sorry fine … I know don’t bother.”

“Okay… I’m was gonna head back to my place and I know you’ve probably got your mum begging to fuss over Aurora but if-“

“Can you come?”

“Didn’t need to ask mate.”

And that’s how the night went. Until Harrison arrived at the Holland family home, Tom had spent the time pacing back and forth, blatantly ignoring the pleas of Sam just to sit down. Once he arrived though, going through all the updates in a lot more detail Tom seemed, for the first time, optimistic. By no means could you call him relaxed or happy - but compared to the rollercoaster that had been the last 24 hours, Harrison thought that was more than enough. Aurora had started fussing again at 1 but by the time it had turned into a full blown scream at Tom, Sam already had the bottle ready. It took a little bit of encouragement and promise that Tom would be able to feed her but actually, she instantly latched on, settled in her Dad’s hold while guzzling down the contents of the bottle. 

After a bit of winding she ended up falling asleep on her dads chest, only when he felt himself start to flag did Tom place her back in the basket. Harrison and him ended up crashing on the sofas, Sam retiring to his own room. Phone still tightly clutched in Tom’s grip.

////////////////////

The first thing Y/n became properly aware of was this intense heaviness all over her body. It felt as though her limbs were all composed completely of lead, meaning as much as she was just craving rolling over, it was as though her own body was holding her down. A very alien feeling that unsettled her slightly, trying to shake of the misty feeling in her head to work it all out. It took a while to drag herself out of the depths of sleep, to the point where background noise slowly faded in - an alien beeping as well as distant shuffling making her heart thump with unease. Finally, perhaps most distressingly , her eyes felt glued shut. Not because they were heavy, in the way someone extremely sleep deprived cant keep their eyes open; rather stiff like they hadn’t been used in so long they’d rusted over or something. 

The feeling  was quite horrific and isolating- as though she were locked into her body without an escape in sight. Whilst trying to calm her racing thoughts, Y/n chose to focus completely on the one thing she could do. She could listen. She listened to the beeps, focusing on the type of sound, the way it chimed so regularly; and it’s form. It was familiar, for that she was sure but for now at least she couldn’t place it. 

It felt like an investigation, trying with all her might to try and workout what the fuck was going on. To put it mildly. 

The most useful clue though, a breakthrough if you will, is when a voice sounded - clear and familiar. 

“Excuse me nurse?” It was Nikki. For sure. It was a clue, but didnt seem to make a hell of a lot of sense. Y/n was so focused on why the hell Nikki was apparently watching her sleep unconscious, she completely missed the reference to the nurse. As in hospital. As in Y/n was in hospital. “… I’m just going to swap out for my sons friend.”

“Harrison?” That voice seemed new and unfamiliar.

“Yes, he won’t be a second I’m sure.”

What was Harrison doing here too? 

It was all very confusing and hurt Y/n’s brain to try and unpick. Gradually then, everything sort of melted away, diving back into the darkness.

The next time Y/n woke up things were different. This time she woke up like she would at any time of day. She woke up and her eyes followed suit. Not particularly easily, since as soon as they cracked open she was almost blinded by brilliant white lights, it taking a build up of willpower before she tried it again - bracing for the pain. 

By now she knew something was wrong. She remembered all these patchy and hazy periods. All full of confusion and disorientation but with different voices keeping her at least semi calm. Familiar voices, all too often laced with such emotion. Especially Tom’s. She couldn’t remember what he had said, nor had she probably been able to understand it at the time - what stuck was the tone. The sadness, the hopelessness , the emptiness. 

It was scary. But it made her want to help. Made her want to open her eyes. 

After wincing at the dazzling white surroundings, Y/n blinked her eyes quickly, in an attempt to get them to adjust quicker. She saw an unfamiliar ceiling, one that was tiled in a similar way to her old school canteen. There was a  weird pressure round her mouth, eyes quickly darting down to see edges of a clear mask pressed up against the bridge of her nose. That wasn’t it though, the further she looked the more her eyes panned down this pale blue blanket, following the outline of her legs to the bottom raised edge of the bed. The hospital bed. 

Her hospital bed. 

As much as she wanted to jump up in panic; physically right now that was an impossibility. So instead, Y/n focused on trying to gleam as much information from the situation. It took a hell of a lot of effort, her muscles literally stiff and ridgid with disuse but with a small groan her neck eventually agreed to follow orders. Just a small tilt to the left and suddenly Y/n felt so much more less panicked. Everything was that bit less scary because there was Tom. 

Admittedly he didn’t look amazing, or even not bad. Tom was sat with his back pressed against the side of chair, so his body faced her. Had he not looked so ruined, Y/n would’ve laughed at the side of his face squashed into the back of the seat. But he did look horrific, for lack of a better word. His brown eyes were locked shut, but also looked puffy and red, while dark at the same time - as though he’d been attempting to gouge his own eyes out prior. He looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks, hence why he had appeared to have collapsed in the arm chair. At least though , he wasn’t in a hospital bed himself.

That was Y/n’s pleasure. 

Her next job was to get her neck muscles to pull her head to the other side. It was a slow wincing gesture, yet she was so aware of another presence that needed to be addressed too. But actually it was 3 people.

Right at the back, a nurse sat on a little spinny chair, scribbling something down in a file of papers but to be quite honest that wasn’t were Y/n’s focus zeroed in on. Instead on Harrison who was sat in chair mirroring Tom, except instead of being passed out asleep he was cradling a baby. Her baby. 

Y/n literally felt her heart in her throat at that point, eye widening almost comically. That was her baby - it must be? The monitors all started to loose their regularity as Y/n threw an uncoordinated limb to that side of the bed- already having realised her throat was way too scratchy to try to say anything comprehensible. 

Immediately that got the attention of both the nurse, who immediately leapt up and called for support, as well as Harrison - who looked like he was seeing a ghost. 

“Oh my-Y/n-?” Luckily he kept the baby safe in his arms rather than dropping her in shock, whilst Y/n kept her eyes locked onto the bundle in his arms. Nodding down, she tried to remove the mask (actually just very slightly knocking it to one side) and attempted to ask of the baby. Her throat, being inhumanly dry and scratchy, didn’t really work but Haz still got the message, scoffing in amazement. 

“Aurora… here’s your mummy.” Harrisons voice was quiet and wavering as he delicately held Aurora against Y/n’s collar bone, the babies little tuft of har tickingling her chin. Now Y/n was crying with happiness, looking up at Haz’s icy blue eyes and questioning her name. Harrison confirmed with another disbelieving whisper, whilst the arm that wasn’t still holding Aurora clasped Y/n’s hand with a death grip. “Tom’s choice.”

The mention of him had both of them shift their gaze across the room to Tom’s chair. Even with all the developments, Tom still seemed completely unaware, fast asleep with the side of his face squished against the back of the chair making his lips slightly askew. Y/n were acutely aware of the small congregation of doctors that had accumulated in the corner of the bay but they seemed to be respectfully waiting before they would prod and poke. Haz went to call Tom’s name, before he could though, Y/n squeezed his arm and minutely shook her head. That wasn’t what the blue eyes boy had been expecting, causing Haz to unfold and bring Aurora back up to his chest as he quirked his eyebrows at her.  

She didnt need to be filled in on the situation to know exactly what was happening. She had no idea why she was in the hospital bed; how long it had been since she’d given birth - but she knew all she needed to. From Harrisons unbelievably shocked face; and from the state of Tom - it hadn’t been good. Her fiancé looked almost ghostly, it seemed evident that he needed her. First then, she gestured to Haz for some water, which after a panicked look to the nurse; then from the nurse to various doctors; she was eventually given permission. 

After somewhat alleviating the sandpaper feeling in her throat, Y/n then croakily asked for a bit of privacy. Right now the doctors all were gawking, Harrison assumed it to be because they’d all led him and Tom to believe she wouldn’t wake up for a while- and even then she was supposed to barely be awake, not able to talk and drink or anything of the sort. With an ecstatic nod Harrison, shuffled out - while doing so prompting the medical people to draw the curtains completely shut round the bay.  

Already Y/n had tears welling up in her eyes, purely because she hated seeing him like this. He just looked so broken and shattered which honestly felt worlds worse than the labour she’d gone through. Her whole body still hurt, stiff and achy for reasons yet to be explained to Y/n. None of that mattered though, as she strained her arm out to the side in order to gently reach his knee that was folded up and sticking out awkwardly at an angle. After swallowing one again, Y/n squeezed round the joint and tried to shake it slightly. Instantly the man jumped up in his seat, heavy eyes blinking quickly and repeatedly as he tried to adjust to the room. 

Being so sleep deprived and stressed out, Tom’s brain was not working normally, instead with a delayed haze as he apparently skipped over Y/n in the bed, rather surveying the the closed curtains and Harrison’s now empty chair. As he was lifting himself to sit more normally up, uncurling from the armchair, was when he noticed the hand on his knee. Breath caught in his chest, Tom instinctively bit his lip as his eyes gradually traced up the hand, to the forearm, up to the shoulder. It felt like a fever dream, as though all it would take is for him to move and she’d slip away again. But there were her green eyes, gleaming in a way that literally lifted a weight from his shoulders. Her smile was tired and a little confused, but so her - after spending days of just seeing all her features lax, Tom swore that it was the most beautiful thing in the world.

Only when Y/n finally croaked out a small ‘hi’ did Tom gain awareness of his body, or rather control of it, enough to leap up and leave over the bed - cradling her face in both his palms. Like a psycho he stared intently, swapping his focus from her left to her right eye like a madman. 

“Your-I-I” He was trying to speak, trying to communicate all the thoughts and regrets of things he wished he’d said to her all at once. Weakly she reached up to fully remove the oxygen mask, dragging It down to below her chin, before squeezing his wrists in comfort. Only then did Tom notice the small puddle that had collected on her cheek, which made him realise he was absolutely bawling. 

“You ‘kay?” Her voice was like sandpaper but everything about her was so completely Y/n and it was just giving Tom this unreal wave of euphoria. Physically incapable of replying, the brunette just scoffed, leaning over the bed even more so he could press his forehead on hers. He was laughing too, the fact she was asking him that seemed so preposterous, given all the tubes and wires attached to her at the moment. It took Y/n squeezing his wrist harder again to make him lean back a little, searching her eyes with his. She seemed so worried; seemed so full of concern - only then did Tom consider quite how much he’d ‘let himself go’ the past couple of days. 

It had been two days since Aurora was born, only 48 hours. But the transformation was mad, none more so than mentally. 48 hours had quite literally changed everything for Tom; changed life forever and himself too. It was showing in his unshaven face, with unwashed  greasy hair, everything just looking ‘tired’.

“‘m just really glad your awake.” It was so honest and sincere it did have Y/n wondering what had happened and for how long. What had she put her fiancé through?

“How long?”

“The worst two and a half days of my life… I got you now though, yeh?” Tom whispered wetly, while stroking the side of her cheek - wiping both his and her tears away.

“Always.”

The doctors and nurses then came in, podding and poking Y/n like no tomorrow while Harrison and Tom stood back a little - excitedly grinning at each other and the sleepy girl Haz was cradling, before Tom stole her off him. There was a momentary sick-to-his-stomach feeling after some of the professionals had cleared, seeing her eyes shut again felt like everything was crashing around him. Thankfully though, one of doctors noticed the look of despair on his face, explaining to the two men that she was just asleep normally. That although sh’ed spent along time unconscious, waking from a medical coma is in itself exhausting. 

After the initial excitement of Y/n waking the next couple of days were pretty samey. She’d been moved down to a normal ward, no longer needed all the incessant bleeping machines but still had to stay in hospital. Tom found it tricky too, he just always felt he needed to be by her side ‘just in case’. In fact, it had been a source of a bit of tension between him and his fiancé - she could see how exhausted he was from looking after Aurora, plus the stress of being in the hospital for hours a day with her. As Y/n got better and more switched on to the state of him, she realised it was inevitable he’d crash at some point.

But after a week and a half in hospital - comprising of a baby, emergency surgery, 3 days on intensive care, followed by 8 on the ward - Y/n was discharged. Nikki and Dom moved in to Y/n and Tom’s place, to provide care support both for Aurora; and Y/n for the rest of her recovery; and secretly Tom for everything he’d been through. 

She was still order on bed rest due to her surgical scars, so Tom and Nikki helped to set her up in the master bedroom as soon as they got in. Of course, everyone was aware of Toms odd mood that day. Until then the only thing he wanted was to get his fiancé back at home with him but now she was over the threshold his excitement and joy appeared to have been zapped out of him. In fact, he’d barely uttered more than a couple sentences. So once Y/n was properly comfortable and Dom had brought Aurora and the cot into the room, Tom’s parents quickly made themselves scarce. 

Tom hadn’t stopped, finding some reason to rummage around in the chest of drawers m while Y/n chewed at her bottom lip, watching him. 

“Tom?” All she got in response was a light hum. “Tom please will you come and sit down for a minute?”

“I just need to-“

“Tom!” Her exclamation finally properly got Tom to listen, jumping round to face her. “Please... please will you just stop for a second?” Y/n’s eyes felt as though they were boring holes in his skull. Really, Tom knew he’d be forced into this at some point because he couldn’t avoid Y/n. She had some power of mind reading over him. So with a defeated nod and sagging shoulders Tom rounded the bed, weaving between his side and Auroras cot - where she was sleeping soundly. 

A silence overcame the room as he heavily planted himself on his side of the bed, mirroring Y/n’s posture leant against the headboard. 

“I think we need to have an honest conversation T.”

“If you want.” Nothing about his reply was the picture of enthusiasm, causing Y/n to hesitate a little. 

“Look I am so beyond grateful for everything you’ve done while I was in hospital... and it doesn’t take a genius to tell you’ve worked yourself half to death-“

“I’m fine-“

“Don’t lie to me. I know you’re trying to protect me but please... will you just talk to me? Honestly?” 

His reply this time wasn’t completely unforeseeable but it still shocked Y/n quite how quickly it happened, especially almost unprovoked. Because that’s all it took for Tom to break, for the past 2 weeks to get their vengance, for all the repressed emotion to escape. 

He was crying- well more accurately sobbing- into his hands, his back quaking. Naturally Y/n reached out to pull him into her side, suppressing the groan of pain as she moved a little too much for her abdomen to handle. “I’m here T. I got you and I’m not going anywhere m‘kay?” 

And that’s how they stayed, for at least 10 minutes, with Tom crying into her shoulder as Y/n rubbed up and down his back. Eventually though, everything did calm down and Tom repositioned himself to lean his head on her shoulder just facing forward and focusing on playing with her fingers, lacing them fingers with his. 

In all the time since she’d woken up, Y/n was yet to broach the subject of their babies name yet. She sensed it was a sensitive topic to say the least, so had thought it best to wait till they were properly alone - not in a ward of 6 strangers where the only privacy came in flimsy blue curtains. 

“So…. Aurora huh? Thought it was too airy-fairy, head-in-the-clouds for you?”  Smiling lightly, both of them were transported back to the pregnancy when they spent hours and hours bickering over names. Aurora had always been Y/n’s favourite but to Tom thought it was more a name for a hippy kid who went around clad in tie dye and bandanas. 

“Still is a bit...but I needed a bit of a miracle and Iceland was in my head. Plus I sort of accidentally word vomited while shouting at Haz, for being nice to me.” Iceland as in when Tom had proposed under the aurora borealis in the freezing sky - when Y/n had agreed, promised even, to be with him forever.

“But you like it?”

“Of course... mother always knows best after all.”

“I think it suits her too. One of your best choices to date, listening to me.” Y/n mused, earning herself a very delicate but still playful elbow in the side before the room drifted back to a much more comfortable silence. 

“We’re gonna get through this you know? Me, you and her, we’re together in this... I’m sorry I wasn’t in the beginning and I’m sorry I hurt you but now? I promise you got me and I’m not going anywhere…” Y/n needed to say it and needed Tom to properly listen. “ ...literally, I still cant walk properly.” Tom chuckled wetly at that, which made Y/n feel a lot better too. 

To be completely honest, Tom was still hurt and he knew it’d take some mending to move past everything. By no means did he blame Y/n in anyway but just the fact he was left alone and abandoned - well, it was the worst time in his life. The way Y/n understood that and had apologised to him - if completely unnecessarily- meant everything. Meant she would help him to heal... whilst he helped her too. 

“Can we just go to sleep? I need to wake up beside you in our bed not at tiny hospital one.” It was only 3 in the afternoon but because of Y/n’s medicine she was constantly drowsy and Tom? Tom was still in this permanent state of exhaustion. So it wasn’t so much of a weird request as it was on the face of it. With a nod, Y/n shuffled down on the bed a bit more resting her head against the top of Tom’s. It was exactly what they both needed, just a bit of peace with each other. 

That lasted all of 5 minutes before Aurora woke and started to scream. 

Life had most definitely changed. Especially for Tom. Because even though he was he was mentally and physically exhausted,  he only appreciated his daughters screams whole heartedly... because Y/n was there groaning with a tired smile too. They were in this together. 

~~~~

 I really hope the ending didnt disappoint too much, im aware its rushed as hell, but thank you for getting this far! And I hope maybe this series has done a teeny tiny bit to normalise not everything in pregnancy and child birth being perfect - that there is morbidity and mortality associated. Obviously this is all fictional (esp the amazingly quick recovery and lack of neurological/other impairments) and not medically accurate in the slightest !!

my inbox is always open :) t x

Tagging : @whitewolf51 

[emospritelet]

Heatstroke - chapter 23/24

I was planning on this being the final chapter, but it got away from me, so it's the penultimate chapter instead :)

Last time, Gold and Lacey banged :D

Word count: 3,721

[AO3]

x

Gold made her dinner, fillet steak with a sauce made from beef stock, red wine and rosemary, alongside soft, creamy mashed potatoes and carrots glazed with butter. They drank wine with it, rich and red, and afterwards carried the dessert upstairs to bed, where they took turns spooning dark chocolate mousse and raspberries into their mouths until their lips were sticky and sweet. Gold watched as Lacey sucked the last of the chocolate mousse from her spoon and dropped it into the glass dish with a contented sigh.

“That,” she said. “Was pretty bloody amazing. You can definitely cook.”

“Thank you.”

He set the dish on the nightstand, handing her a glass of wine, and Lacey wriggled, sitting up against the pillows as she took it. Darcy had curled up at the end of the bed with his tail over his nose, and Lacey gestured at him with a foot.

“You do realise now he’s been up here, he’s probably gonna spend as much time sleeping in your bed as he does mine,” she said, and Gold grinned.

“I don’t mind that too much,” he said. “Maybe he’ll keep the mice away.”

“No sign of that so far,” she remarked. “Not that I’ve seen any mice. Only rats.”

“You’ve seen rats around here?” he asked, surprised, and she shrugged.

“I saw one the day I moved in,” she said. “Standing on his hind legs, bold as brass. Not the best welcome gift, to be honest.”

“I don’t suppose it was.”

“Yeah, Darcy came to get me to chase it off,” she said casually. “So if you’re hoping he’ll deal with any vermin that turn up, you’re out of luck. Turns out he’s a coward.”

Gold laughed.

“Well, he’s a very handsome coward,” he said. “If we get a rodent problem I can always deal with it another way. I can’t say I’ve seen any rats here, though.”

“I guess it might have wandered in from the forest,” she acknowledged. “I was worried there might be a nest of the little buggers, but I haven’t seen any since then. It was definitely male, though. All big balls and unimpressive cock.”

Gold blinked as a feeling of déjà vu washed over him.

“Really?” he asked neutrally.

“Yeah.” She wriggled onto her side, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “Have you ever seen a rat’s balls? They’re huge!”

“I can’t say I’ve looked all that closely,” he said, and licked his lips. “Uh - you said his - other equipment - was somewhat lacking.”

“Yeah. Minuscule.” She held up her little finger. “Still, I guess they manage okay, right?”

“Right,” he said, and hesitated. “And this was the day you moved in?”

“As I was carrying my stuff in.”

“Uh-huh.” He sucked his teeth, nodding slowly. “You - didn’t happen to mention this to Miss Lucas in the bar that night, did you?”

“Huh.” Lacey pursed her lips, a vague expression on her face. “Yeah, I did. Why?”

Gold sighed heavily.

“Because I might have thought you were talking about me.”

Lacey stared at him for a moment, mouth slightly open, then burst out laughing. It bubbled out of her, washing over him as her eyes sparkled with mirth, and he felt a little of his awkwardness melt away.

“You thought I was telling Ruby about what you were packing?” she giggled, and he shrugged.

“Let’s just say I overheard your conversation and made some assumptions.”

“Yeah, well, that’s what you get for eavesdropping,” she said, and pushed up on her elbow. “Wish you hadn’t?”

“Yes,” he admitted.

“Good.” She planted a kiss on his cheek. “Because your assumptions were shit.”

“That happens more often than you might think,” he said, and she giggled again.

“Oh, but I’m definitely telling Ruby about your junk now,” she said, and winked at him. “She did ask for a blow by blow description if you and I ever got up to anything.”

“In that case.” Gold put down his wine. “I’d better give you lots to talk about.”

-

Lacey stretched, eyes closed, mouth widening in a grin as she felt the press of hot flesh against her own. She was nestled in soft sheets, Gold’s arm around her waist and his cool breath on the back of her neck, making her shudder in pleasure. Morning light was shining through a tiny gap in the curtains, sending a shaft of golden dawn across the bed and making the pink walls glow. The bed smelled of musk and sex and the faintest hint of his cologne, and she wriggled, turning in his arms to kiss his chest. At the touch of her lips he inhaled sharply, body stiffening as he woke, and she heard a contented rumble from deep in his chest as his arms went around her.

“Morning,” she said, and sucked at his nipple.

Gold jerked, snickering, and tugged her close against him so that she had to kiss back up his chest to get some air. He pushed her onto her back, one hand sliding down over her hip to squeeze her rear as his mouth found her ear.

“Morning,” he murmured, and Lacey moaned as he sucked at her throat. His hand strayed to her hip again, sliding along the crease at the top of her thigh, and she caught his fingers in hers before he could reach between her legs.

“Really interested in where your mind’s going,” she said. “But I need the bathroom. And coffee, to be honest.”

Gold pulled back immediately, rolling onto his side, and she slipped from the bed, drawing on his discarded shirt. He was watching her with a sleepy-eyed grin, his hair dishevelled and a day’s growth of stubble on his cheeks. It made her want to crawl straight back in bed with him.

“I guess I’ll make the coffee, then,” he said. “You want some breakfast?”

Lacey sighed.

“Does that mean getting up?”

“Doesn’t have to.”

“Well, alright then.”

She winked at him, making his grin widen, and trotted off to the bathroom.

When she returned he had already gone downstairs, and she poked around on his dresser for a hairbrush, dragging it through her curls and teasing out the knots that had formed over several hours of the best sex she’d ever had. Gold had stamina. He was also extremely generous, and wanted to please her, which was a first in her experience. She could see herself falling deeply in love with the guy if she wasn’t too careful, and was surprised to find that the idea didn’t bother her. Glancing in the mirror she shook out her hair and set down the hairbrush, sending her reflection a satisfied grin. Apparently Ruby was right. I do want more than hot crazy sex. Although the hot crazy sex is amazing.

She padded downstairs, following the sound of him clattering around in the kitchen. The scent of coffee was drifting towards her, and she took a seat at the kitchen table, watching Gold in his silk robe as he made scrambled eggs and spooned it onto hot buttered toast.

“Hot sex, great coffee and a delicious breakfast,” she remarked, as he set a plate in front of her. “How is it you’ve been single for so long?”

Gold chuckled, sliding into the chair opposite.

“My son would say it’s because I’m completely dense and have no idea when someone is interested,” he said.

“Well, he’s not wrong about that,” said Lacey, making him grin. “Although I guess I shouldn’t really tease you about it. Pot, kettle, and all that.”

He grinned at her, eyes gleaming, and she felt herself fall in love with him a little more. She turned to her breakfast to stop herself blushing with the thrill of it. The eggs were soft and buttery, seasoned to perfection, and she made a noise of approval and cut a piece of toast, pushing it into the growing pool of melted butter and popping it into her mouth. Gold was watching her over the rim of his coffee cup, and she took a sip of her own and set down her cup.

“Any chance we can finish that interview today?” she asked. “I had other questions to ask and you kind of distracted me with orgasms.”

He smirked.

“I have to open the shop at some point,” he said. “Can it wait until later?”

Lacey pursed her lips, trying to hide her smile.

“You want me to come over tonight, is that what you’re saying?”

“You’re the one that wants to interview me,” he said, one eyebrow flicking. “Maybe I’d be more inclined to open up if we were more - intimate.”

His voice had dropped to a low purr, and Lacey squeezed her thighs together.

“Okay, but no distracting me this time!” she ordered, gesturing with a fork. “I have to get some stuff on tape I can actually use! I don’t want Sidney weaselling out of this pay rise he promised.”

Gold pressed a hand to his heart with a wounded expression, and she wrinkled her nose at him. He turned back to his breakfast, a tiny grin on his face.

“I suppose he’ll have you covering the mayoral election,” he said, and Lacey nodded, chewing and swallowing.

“There’s gonna be a debate next week.”

“Really?” Gold pulled a face. “So maybe that’s why I’m starting to hear whispers against Regina.”

“Whispers?” Lacey sat up. “What are they saying?”

Gold took a drink of coffee, setting the cup back down and sucking at his teeth a little.

“The rumour,” he said, “is that money has gone missing from the accounts. Not a huge amount, perhaps a few thousand dollars, but enough to trigger an investigation. The whispering I’ve heard is that it’s the Mayor herself getting greedy. Trying to maintain a lifestyle she can’t afford on the back of hard-working townsfolk.”

“That can’t be true,” she said in disbelief. “It’s election year. There’s no way the Mayor would risk her position, right?”

“Regina and I have certainly had our differences,” he agreed, “but I don’t believe for one second that she’s been stealing town funds.”

“Me neither,” said Lacey. “I think it’s Zelena stirring shit.”

Gold gave her a slanted grin, cutting a piece of toast.

“And where’s your proof of that?”

“Don’t have it yet,” she admitted. “But a friend of mine gave me some info on her New York dealings that makes all this sound kind of familiar. Given what you told me last night, I think we can guess that there’s a personal element as far as Zelena’s concerned.”

“So what’s your plan?” he asked.

“I guess we could tell Regina what she’s up to,” said Lacey. “Give her a chance to stop Zelena.”

“It’ll just look like dirty politics if it’s Regina against her rival,” he said, and she nodded in agreement.

“Okay, how about this?” she said. “We tell Zelena what we know. Maybe it’ll make her stop scheming and leave town.”

“And if it doesn’t?”

“Then we go to the town,” said Lacey. “Let them all know what she’s up to.”

“Difficult to do that without evidence,” he said, and she shrugged.

“Maybe we’ll get a confession.”

“You think she’s going to reveal her diabolical plan to you in some sort of tell-all interview?” he asked, with a grin, and she sent him a flat look, reaching for her coffee.

“Not in a million years,” she said. “She can’t stand me.”

She took a sip of her coffee, setting down her cup.

“But she might tell you,” she added.

-

Gold drummed his fingers slowly on the counter top, eyes fixed on the shop door. The clock on the wall opposite showed that it was nine-thirty, and he was expecting a visitor. Right on time, the door opened, the bell above jingling as Zelena stepped into the shop, a predatory smile on her face. She strode towards him with purpose, and Gold eyed her with a flat stare as she leaned on the counter, pushing her face towards him as though hoping for a kiss of greeting.

“Mr Gold,” she said, in a breathy voice. “I can’t tell you how thrilled I was when you said you wanted to discuss my election campaign.”

“Well, before you get too excited,” he said. “I want to talk to you about these rumours against the Mayor.”

“Rumours?” She tried to look puzzled, but it was unconvincing.

“The ridiculous talk of her embezzling town funds.”

Zelena gasped, hand to heart.

“She’s been stealing from the town?” she said, in a hushed voice. “Well. About time someone else took over, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Don’t play games with me,” said Gold, in a bored tone. “You know she didn’t do it.”

“That’ll be for the investigation to determine,” she said smoothly.

“Which you’re hoping will overshadow the campaign and leave you the victor.”

“If the people of this town decide they want me rather than her, who am I to deny them?”

Gold sighed heavily, pushing back from the counter and walking around it. Zelena turned to face him, and he grounded the cane between his feet.

“I know what you’re doing,” he said. “I’m a little unclear as to why.”

“I’m running for Mayor,” she said, showing her teeth in a somewhat manic smile. “As I said, it’s all about wanting to help the town. Family values, that sort of thing.”

“Really?” said Gold. “That’s interesting. Especially as the current Mayor is your half-sister. Perhaps those family values only stretch so far, hmm?”

Zelena’s mouth fell open, eyes wide with shock, and he bit back a smirk.

“Interesting how differently your lives turned out, isn’t it?” he went on. “You raised in England by your adoptive parents, Regina over here with your birth mother. I suppose that must sting, being abandoned. As I understand it, she left you at the kids’ home in Boston with a note saying she had to give herself her best life and she couldn’t do that with a baby.”

Zelena’s eyes widened further, her jaw tightening.

“How the hell do you know that?” she demanded. “Who told you?”

“I have my sources,” he said. “Which I obviously won’t reveal.”

“That slut of a reporter’s been poking her nose in where it doesn’t belong and then selling to the highest bidder, I suppose,” she said bitterly, and he felt his fist clench around the handle of his cane.

“If you mean Miss French,” he said evenly. “Then no. My information predates her arrival in Storybrooke.”

Zelena drew herself up, brushing her hands against her skirts as though ridding herself of something unpleasant.

“Well,” she said. “My tragic history is none of anyone’s business.”

“It’s my business when you try to use it to take over my town.”

“Your town?” she said, letting out a humourless laugh. “Did you become Mayor when I wasn’t looking?”

Gold smiled coldly.

“Regina may have the title of Mayor,” he said. “But I’m the one with the power around here, and I’d prefer to keep it that way. Disruption, disputes – family drama – it hurts the bottom line.”

Zelena took a step closer, licking her lips. It was repellent, but he made himself meet her eyes.

“Well, if you could see your way to supporting my campaign,” she said throatily. “I’m sure we could - work something out. Help each other, so to speak. Perhaps we can discuss it over dinner.”

She reached out to touch his chest, and Gold stepped back smoothly, resisting the urge to swat her hand away.

“I try not to get involved in politics.”

Zelena looked as though she’d bitten a lemon.

“And yet,” she said. “Here you are. Getting in my way.”

“I know where I am with Regina,” he said. “She may be a little hard-headed at times, but she has fairly good judgement, and a genuine concern for her citizens. You have neither.”

“Perhaps I’m just untested.”

“Perhaps you’re unstable.”

She clenched her jaw, her eyes flashing.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re incredibly rude?”

“Usually I get ‘heartless’,” said Gold. “I like to think I’m merely a good judge of character.”

“And you judge the Mayor’s character to be better than mine?”

“I imagine most of this town does,” he said calmly, and Zelena sniffed.

“In case you haven’t noticed, most of the residents of this town are incredibly stupid,” she said. “Small-minded. Stuck in the past and terrified of change. It didn’t take much effort on my part to find bad feelings towards the Mayor.”

“Which you’ve no doubt been exploiting.”

“Well, that’s politics,” she said airily. “Can I help it if the townsfolk have had a difficult year and I remind them that while they struggle to pay their bills, Regina Mills and that wife of hers are lounging around doing heaven knows what on the taxpayer dime?”

“What is it you think they’re doing?” asked Gold, puzzled. “Mallory is a lawyer. Regina is the Mayor. They both earn a respectable living and I’m fairly sure neither one of them is lounging around.”

“Respectable?” she said, raising an eyebrow. “Well, that’s not the concern I’ve heard from some of the townsfolk. There’s talk of some seedy club that’s been approved by the Mayor to open next month. Queens of Darkness, or something?”

“Yes,” said Gold patiently. “It’s a gay bar. So?”

“From what I hear there is deep concern amongst the townsfolk about the image of Storybrooke,” she said. “I’m told it could attract all kinds of perverts to the town. Think of the poor children.”

Gold stared at her, then burst out laughing.

“Are you expecting to challenge Regina on some sort of morality grounds?” he asked. “Good luck with that. No one but a tiny, bigoted minority cares that she’s a lesbian. If you think you can win with their votes alone, you’re wasting your time.”

“I think the family values crowd is more numerous than you might believe,” she said. “Something tells me I’m on the right track. Outrage is so easily manipulated and weaponized, don’t you agree?”

Gold stared at her for a moment.

“So you don’t care about being Mayor at all,” he said. “You just want to take it away from Regina.”

Zelena smirked

“Can you imagine the look on her face?” she asked. “Because I have a little scene in my head that I’m hoping will play out on election day. I’m announced as the winner in a landslide victory, the simpletons that voted for me erupt with cheers, and she runs out of the town hall crying.”

“Clearly you don’t know her very well,” remarked Gold. “Why do this? You don’t want this position, you clearly don’t give a flying fuck about any of the townsfolk, why go to so much trouble to take it from Regina?”

Zelena rounded on him, nostrils flaring.

“Because she deserves it!” she hissed. “Because she had everything that was supposed to be mine! Because she was given the world on a silver platter and even that’s not enough for her!”

Gold shook his head.

“You’re saying that like any of this is Regina’s fault,” he said. “She can’t help it if your mother abandoned you. If you have to take your anger out on someone, surely your mother is the place to start?”

“Well, I can’t very well talk to her about it, she’s dead!”

“Then let it go,” said Gold patiently. “Stop blaming your sister for the two of you having a terrible parent.”

“This life should have been mine!” said Zelena, eyes flashing. “She doesn’t deserve any of this!”

“My thoughts exactly,” he said dryly. “You won’t beat her, you know. The town has supported Regina for years because she does a good job. They won’t simply choose you because you bat your eyelashes at them.”

“Well, maybe they’d prefer a Mayor who isn’t corrupt,” she said. “I think you’ll be surprised at what the townsfolk might want, when the truth is presented to them.”

Perhaps so, he thought. Aloud he said: “You know as well as I do that there’s no truth to the corruption rumours.”

Zelena smiled brightly.

“Do I?”

“Yes,” he said evenly. “So unless you’ve planted a bunch of phoney evidence, this vendetta of yours is doomed.”

Zelena had pursed her lips at his words, and he wanted to shake her.

“You’re telling me you have planted evidence?”

“I didn’t say that.”

Gold sighed heavily.

“I don’t even know why I’m trying to help you,” he said, almost to himself. “Why don’t you just leave town? Go and live your life and stop worrying about what you think you’re entitled to.”

“I will destroy her happiness!” spat Zelena. “If it’s the last thing I do!”

She whirled away, red curls tossing, and stomped towards the door.

“If you try to bring her down,” he called, making her pause. “I’ll stop you.”

Zelena swivelled slowly on her toes to face him, a smirk twisting her lips.

“Oh, really?”

“Really,” he said. “I’ve taken time out of my busy day to try to make you see sense, but I can just as easily talk to the entire town.”

She laughed at that, eyes gleaming with mirth.

“The reclusive Mr Gold, whom the entire town distrusts, is going to convince them that their beloved charity queen is really a fraudster with an axe to grind?”

“Yes,” he said simply.

She looked him up and down briefly, pursing her lips, and took a step forward.

“Go ahead and try, then,” she said. “You’ve no proof.”

Gold held her gaze for a moment, then nodded.

“You’re right,” he said. “I don’t.”

Zelena nodded in satisfaction.

“In that case, I think we’re done, don’t you?” she said. “Unless you want to take me up on that offer of dinner, of course.”

“I think not,” he said coldly, and she sniffed.

“Your loss,” she said, and flounced off, the bell above the door jingling on her way out.

Gold stared after her, shaking his head, and heard the click of heels on the floor behind him.

“Well.” Lacey’s voice made him turn. “That was interesting.”

She was leaning in the doorway, the curtain to the back room draping the curve of her hip, and he smiled.

“Did you get it?” he asked, and she held up her camera.

“Every word.”

[woah-were-halfway-there]

Mia’s First Night At Home

A/N: *dj Khaled voice* anotha one. Lmao here’s another little piece that’s been requested! Now I’ll go back to writing the next part of JWIN lol. Also this is PURE fluff, just a warning.

also shoutout to @brockadoodles​ for yelling me about this little family like always 

Series Masterlist

Word Count: 2.5k

It was all so crazy to comprehend still, but you and Auston were officially spending your first night at home as parents. 

You were discharged from the hospital around 14 hours after Mia was born. As you were in labour, other than the apparent fact of getting to meet your daughter and being excited for that, you wanted nothing more than to be back at your condo where you felt the most comfortable. You expressed that to Auston and your midwife many times throughout the night, and your midwife assured you that as long as your delivery and recovery afterwards went smoothly, you shouldn't have to spend a full 24 hours in the hospital. Luckily enough, things did go well, so you and Mia were both deemed healthy enough to go home. 

However, once you got home, your anxiety peaked. 

Although you had been told multiple times by your midwife and doctor, despite Mia being born a week and a half early, she was still very healthy. If she weren't, you and she wouldn't have been able to leave the hospital, which you had to keep reminding yourself. But everything was so new, and there was a lot of adjusting to do, you would've been lying if you said you weren't a little overwhelmed. 

Yet, you never admitted how you were feeling. Auston could just tell. 

You put on such a brave front, trying to act like you weren't as nervous about your first night home with Mia as you obviously were, but you were so bad at hiding those nerves. That was to be expected, though. You were in postpartum and had given birth that day. No one expected you to be calm immediately or used to everything that being a new parent entailed. But, there was no reason for you to be so unnecessarily hard on yourself. 

Something you were struggling with, though, was the fact that Mia wasn't breastfeeding. While in the hospital, you tried to feed her, but she would only take a bottle, and although that was a hard pill for you to swallow, you again had to keep reminding yourself how that was ok, and as long as Mia wasn't hungry, that was best. 

All in all, Mia being born was a gratifying experience, but also so, so exhausting. You and Auston were more than ready to have a night back at the condo to unwind a bit with your baby girl and ideally catch up a bit on sleep, but that didn't happen. Well, not at first, at least. 

Once the two of you brought Mia home, you gradually introduced her to Frank. Neither you nor Auston knew what to expect when introducing your daughter to your year-old Goldendoodle, but it went so much smoother than you anticipated. Frank took to having a new little human around very well, and it was almost as if he sensed something different with you too because once you were home that evening, he did not leave your side and was extra affectionate with you. 

Auston's family then came over for dinner, to which Ema refused to let you and Auston take any part in preparing or cleaning up after. She wanted the two of you to be as relaxed as possible and stay focused on your daughter because she also knew the upcoming days would be pretty hectic with everyone wanting to meet the newest little Matthews. 

Your brother, Nate, got into Toronto that evening from Montreal after receiving Mitch's call telling him that his niece had been born around 4am. He joined for dinner with Auston's family so he could meet Mia but then went to stay with Mitch and Steph so your little family could have your space for your first night home. You knew he'd be back the next day because your dad and sister, Mya, would be in from B.C then with plans to stay in the city for a few days as well so they too could meet their newest family member. Speaking of family, you knew your cousin Chris and the rest of Mitch's family would want to stop by at some point too. You also were aware that undoubtedly, guys from the team would be over as well. 

It was a big deal to many people that Mia finally arrived, but it was crucial that you, Auston and her, were all feeling up for how many visitors you'd be having in the upcoming days. This was why Ema prepared a couple of meals for you and your fiancè, without telling either of you and left them in the fridge before she, Brian, Alex and Bre all left for the night. 

Before Auston's family left, though, Ema made you and Auston promise that you'd call her if either of you needed anything. Whether that be picking something up or for someone to watch Mia while the two of you rested, she would be there as quickly as she could. But for that first night, you and Auston insisted you both wanted to try out caring for Mia on your own but agreed to call her if things got to be too much. 

After everyone left, the night did go pretty smoothly, and you were so thankful for that. 

Auston gave Mia a bottle around 7pm, then you both cuddled up on the couch with Frank as Auston continued holding her, and soon enough, Mia was passed right out. Much to Auston's dismay, because he just didn't want to stop holding his little girl, he still let you take Mia from his hold and put her in her bassinet as she slept. You both knew she'd wake up in three hours or so wanting another bottle, so you didn't go to sleep right away and opted to watch a movie together instead while you waited for her to wake back up. 

Less than an hour into the movie, you were fighting hard to stay awake. You were so exhausted, having not slept well at the hospital at all, and Auston didn't understand why you wouldn't let yourself rest. He knew it was because you were nervous, hell, he was too, but you were in recovery and needed to be mindful of that. It was like pulling teeth, but Auston eventually convinced you to sleep in your bedroom instead of out on the couch. He insisted that he'd be fine to stay up and give Mia another bottle before joining you in bed and calling it a night as well. You had no reason to doubt his fatherly abilities, so without any further argument, you and Frank crawled into yours and Auston's king-sized bed, and you fell asleep almost as soon as your head hit your pillow. 

Around 10pm, Mia stirred awake, looking for another bottle and in need of a diaper change, but Auston took it all on like a champ and handled it all with ease. Sure, he was a little nervous, but it ended up being way less stressful than he was expecting, and about an hour later, Mia was falling asleep in his arms again. So, without a second thought, he turned off all the lights in the condo, then quietly brought her into the bedroom.  He was careful not to wake you as he set Mia in the bassinet that was in the bedroom before climbing into bed next to you, pulling you close, then falling asleep soon after. 

Auston wasn't sure how long he'd been sleeping for, but with how it was still dark out, he knew it wasn't for long. He didn't hear Mia fussing, which he took as a good sign and figured he could roll over and fall back asleep for a little while longer. But, when he reached out to pull you close again, only to find the space next to him empty, well, then he was wide awake. 

He sat right up, wondering where the hell you could've gone, but couldn't come up with any ideas. There was no light coming from the ensuite or out hallway, indicating that you hadn't gotten out of bed to go to the washroom or grab a late-night snack or bottle for Mia from the kitchen, which left him even more puzzled. He then noticed how Frank wasn't there either and knew you couldn't have gone very far. 

Shaking his head, Auston then grabbed his phone to see that it was 3:30am and that he'd only slept for maybe four hours. However, he didn't hear Mia fuss at all even though he knew she probably would've woken up for another bottle during that time and had even set an alarm just in case, but then he realized the alarm was turned off and knew that you had to have been the one to do that. 

Still feeling a little confused, he got out of bed and used the light coming from his phone screen so he could see as he walked through the room, but stopped when his eyes fell on something, and his search for you soon came to an end. 

On the other side of the room, over near the closet, you were fast asleep on the ground next to Mia's bassinet, laying on the fluffy white rug that was there with Frank curled right up next to you as he slept as well. Mia was sleeping too. However, with the almost empty bottle resting on the ground beside you, Auston knew you must've already fed her. But what didn't make sense was why you hadn't taken the few steps needed to crawl back into bed instead of sleeping on the floor next to your daughter. 

Chuckling slightly at the image in front of him, Auston shook his head because he knew part of why you weren't in bed was because of your stubbornness, even though he was well aware you'd never admit it.

Without much thought, Auston then wandered over to where you slept and checked on Mia before leaning down to pick you up in bridal style and carrying you back to bed. He tried not to wake you, but with the way Frank groaned at the sudden disturbance to his slumber and you being shaken awake slightly, you then slowly blinked your eyes open and looked up at your fiancé as he carried you. 

"Aus?" You asked quietly, instinctively snuggling closer to his chest before he gently set you back on the bed. "W-what happened? Is Mia, alright?"

"Yes, Mia's fine," Auston assured before getting back into bed next to you and letting you cuddle up against him again as Frank hopped on the bed to join the two of you also. "You were sleeping on the floor, babe."

"Oh," you whispered, a pout forming on your lips as you did so. 

"How come you didn't just come back to bed?"

You were about to respond but stopped as you thought about the proper answer to his question, then sighed before telling him. 

"I was afraid to fall back asleep, but I guess I was too tired actually to stick with that."

"Babe," he replied, a slightly disappointed tone in his voice as he did. "You need to rest. I know you're anxious, I am too, but how are you going to be able to take care of Mia if you don't take care of yourself?"

Auston didn't say that harshly or anything, but it still struck something in you because you knew how right he was. So, after taking a deep breath, you spoke up again. 

"I know, I'm sorry," you told him, then sat up slightly so you could glance over at Mia, making sure she was still asleep in her bed, which you were able to tell thanks to the lights of downtown Toronto that still managed to somewhat illuminate through the closed blinds in your bedroom. "She's just so little and new, Auston. What if something happens to her while we sleep? I would never forgive myself just because I was too tired to be there for her."

At that, Auston sighed and just about melted as he observed you watching Mia, already being overcome by the fact that he knew you were bound to be such a good mother. Without saying anything, he then sat up too and leaned against the headboard before gently pulling you onto his lap, not stopping until your back was against his chest. Once he stopped moving, you then shifted so you'd be more comfortable. After that, you leaned back against him and mindlessly rubbed your hand up and down his arm while he kept them wrapped around your middle. He responded by resting his head on your shoulder, then the two of you remained there in comfortable silence for a little bit as you observed your daughter together. 

"Look at her," Auston spoke softly after a few moments. "She's fine."

"I know, but-."

"But if something happens, then we can face it together. We're both new to this whole parenting thing, Y/N. We are for sure going to make mistakes, but how else are we going to learn? It's ok to be worried about our new baby, but there is no need to be right now. Right now, it would be best if you rested because you gave birth literally 24 hours ago. Please stop stressing yourself out, babe. For me, for Mia and yourself. It's not healthy."

Once Auston finished his spiel, you slowly moved away so that you could look over your shoulder at him and respond. But instead of saying anything, you nodded once his gaze met yours, then leaned forward to catch his lips in a soft, sweet kiss. 

"Thank you," you mumbled against his mouth, then moved away to look at him again. "For holding me accountable and being the best partner in all of this. You're right, and I guess I needed to be reminded that I am still recovering and how I'm not alone. So, thank you."

"You don't need to thank me," he smiled. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be than here with you taking care of our daughter."

"Our daughter," you repeated, smiling as you shifted, then leaned back against him again. "I still can't believe she's here. We really made her, huh?"

Auston nodded, a grin stretching across his mouth as he followed your gaze over to where Mia was sleeping still. 

"I also can't believe it, but yeah. She's here, and she's so perfect. I never knew I was capable of falling in love with something so hard and so fast until you gave me her."

"I could say the same to you, Aus. We did this together, and I think we did a damn good job."

Your heart never felt as full as it did at that moment, and you loved it so much. Everything about your life seemed perfect, and it just made you so ridiculously happy. After that talk with Auston, you both were able to fall back asleep for a couple of hours before Mia woke up again. And even with your exhaustion and anxiousness that was still very present, you had never felt more content.

[alien-baby-boy]

*Comes rolling in* Thoughts on Omegaverse??? 🎤🎤🎤 headcanon, perhaps?? (I like your headcanons best :3)

hi, ace! i like hearing from you, too. i just imagined you on rollerskates & that made me laugh so take it as you will :D

i'll split this into two parts, my thoughts on a/b/o as a whole & my headcannons for it

tw for the low tier in my thoughts, dark things that are unfortunately common in omegaverse (r*pe, abuse, drugging, etc)

-

Part One: Thoughts

i have read omegaverse before, it's practically a staple in any fandom. that being said there is definitely a tier of what is a good a/b/o fic & what isn't. all in my opinion, so i'm not judging the people that read "low tier", it's just not my cup of tea.

high tier- alphas, betas, and omegas all stay true to their personality or character, dynamics are seen as more of a gender & about as important as hair or eye color. omegas can function in society alone & be successful, alphas can be homemakers, etc, it all depends on the person. heats & ruts are inconvenient, sure, but it doesn't drug the person & make them useless for a week. just about any pairing has a chance at romance, not just alphas & omegas or two betas.

low tier- omegas as a whole have little personality & only want to cook, clean, have kids, etc. i admire the people that do this in real life, but there's almost no way every single omega wants the same thing. also, alphas that abuse, r*pe, or treat other dynamics as slaves because "it's in their nature" is definitely a whole can of worms i do not want to open or even look at. when omegas are basically drugged during their heats & unable to do anything except sex or self pleasure, as well as when omegas only exist to "serve their alphas"/ reproduce.

i realize a/b/o is fiction and all, but reading the kind of stuff in the low tier example makes me physically sick.

now that all the dark stuff is out of the way, here's what you're really here for

Part Two: Headcannons

L is a,,,, omega!

everyone thought he'd present as a beta, since he didn't show signs of any dynamics & generally acted like he didn't care about it while showing little emotion in daily life

L hates being an omega and cried for hours after presenting. they locked themselves in their room and refused to come out for three days until they needed to get food.

per L's request, Watari hid their dynamic in official papers & got the best suppressants, birth control, and other omega necessities that money could buy

they frequently wish they were a beta, don't ever want children or to manage a household, and wanted to remove the omega organs from their body.

since L wouldn't be able to live without said organs, they just suppress everything & ignore the warnings of various suppressant companies to use caution

L was very worried his dynamic would negatively affect his career as a detective & make the task force undermine his authority, so he hid his dynamic as much as possible while not bringing up other people's

took private self defense lessons (capoeira) to feel more in control of his body as well as on the off chance something might happen

nothing ever did, L's just paranoid.

their heats were already intense, but on the rare occasion they forget to take their suppressants, it's ten times worse.

L is about the average height of a beta, although he's much skinnier than most betas or well-fed omegas, so most people just assume he's an unclassified beta

L's pheromones smell like a combination of vanilla, orchids, and clean soap

Light is a,,, alpha!

he was very overprotective of his loved ones, even before he presented, and was raised knowing that his personality matters more than his dynamic

his family did joking bets on if he would be classified as a beta or an alpha, since he had traits of both. he loved to cook, was a very active kid, and always knew when someone was really hurt or just needed their parent to get them when he was on the playground

Light is netural on having children, but definitely wants marriage and a partner who wouldn't need to rely on him 24/7

he generally dated betas, and a few omegas before meeting L.

Light doesn't understand why L hates their dynamic so much, since omegas are respected & equal to other dynamics in japan, but he accepts them regardless

he is a firm believer in dynamic equality & is not afraid to speak about it or correct older generations when they're being rude.

Light's pheromones smell like citrus, pine, and cloves

Misa is a,,, omega!

it was no surprise when she presented, Misa has always loved attention from others, fantasizing about her wedding, dress up toys & dolls, as well as other traditionally feminine things associated with omegas.

she doesn't suppress her heat but she does take birth control since she wants to live her life independently and have a career as a pop star/ idol before starting a family

she has dated other omegas, beta, and alphas before, but generally prefers betas (*cough* like rem *cough*)

Misa has volunteered with younger abused or at risk omegas, to show them you can live however you please no matter your dynamic, and frequently campaigns for better access to heat suppressants, allowing dynamics to be removed upon request, etc

she loves being an omega and honestly couldn't imagine herself as a beta or alpha

Misa's pheromones smell like peppermint with a bit of sage mixed in

-

also, Rem, Ryuk, Matsuda, Watari, & Sayu are betas. Aizawa, Mogi, Soichiro, & Wedy are alphas. Sachiko, Halle, Naomi Misora, & Mello are omegas

amab omegas are pretty rare at just 15% of all omegas, while afab alphas are at 40%

betas make up a the majority at about 55% of the population being beta, 25% alpha and only 19% omega.

the missing percent is because in rare cases, like if it would put them in danger or if they're in an important political position, some people are unclassified, or they just never present medically. unclassified people generally live as betas

-

this is very long, but i hope you enjoyed! i've never written an a/b/o fic before, but now i feel like i could if i wanted, so thanks for the writing inspiration! until next time *waves*

[9tzuyu]

run into me sunday pt. ii

pt. i

notes: i am yet again projecting my own issues in fics lmao. this isn’t my favorite work, but i wanted to make a second part. this is the result. all mistakes are mine as im too lazy to proofread :P.

warnings: heavy talk of having an eating disorder.

requests are open!

the first few of weeks at natasha's house were fine. you tried really hard not to think about all the changes happening. like being monitored 24/7, or having to abide by natasha's rules all the time, or knowing that you were growing to be healthy.

it was okay, at first.

you hardly put up a fight when it came down to her rules. even meal time seemed to go without a hitch.

but as many people have said before, all good things cone to an end.

the second you woke up today, you could already tell it wasn't going to be fun. everything you'd pushed aside came crawling back, and you could feel every insecurity of yours heighten a thousand times worse than before.

nat's arms rest gently around your waist, and while it normally felt reassuring, you couldn't help but notice the extra weight you'd put on.

you still felt overly full from last night. if natasha woke up right now, you were positive she could feel how expanded your stomach was.

(god, you did not want her to feel how bloated you still were.)

now you knew there was nothing wrong with having a stomach, especially one that wasn't flat or as unwell as yours had become. but it was your body, and your body felt wrong.

feeling natasha's breath on the back of your neck, you gingerly began removing her arm from your body. however, your plan quickly failed when natasha pulled you in closer, her grip tightening around you.

you bit your lip to suppress your cries. you needed out and you needed out right now.

things quickly became unbearable. the longer you felt trapped, the more your body began to tremble. and though you despised it, you turned around to face natasha, your head buried in the crook of her neck.

the thoughts were loud. much louder than they had been the past few weeks.

you tried to keep your cries to a low level, but that didn't seem to work. natasha awoke within the very same minute. her first instinct was to check on you, but seeing as tears were streaming down your face she knew what the problem was.

nat pulled you closer to her, letting her right hand rub the backside of your body in an attempt to calm you down.

"hey now, it's okay, it's alright. you're okay, you're safe, you're here. i'm here." you continued to sob, letting every detail of your own self hatred slip from your mouth.

natasha wasn't surprised at the outburst. she knew you would have days like this, more days would soon follow. that was reality. she didn't expect your recovery to be perfect, if it was then she would know you weren't really getting better – simply putting on weight to please her.

she couldn't take away your pain (although she wished she could), but she could be there, offer you her love and support, coax you through meals when you needed her to.

when you'd finally calmed down you turned away from her, suddenly embarrassed at how you acted. she could feel you tense back up again, a failed attempt at blocking her out.

it was nat, who were you to think she couldn't read you like an open book?

nonetheless, she kissed the back of your head and moved out from under the covers. "i'm going to make breakfast, i'll be back."

you sighed. breakfast was not an option.

but 15 minutes later natasha returned with a plate of eggs, toast and a cup of fruit on the side. she even made it all pretty and nice for you.

“up, y/n. i know you don't want to, but you have to eat.”

"no," you mumbled, bringing the blanket over your head. she tugged them away instantly, "yes."

"it's too early."

"you didn't say that yesterday-"

"well i'm saying it today, natasha. now fuck off."

natasha knew better than to take your words to heart. if anything, she found it rather entertaining to see just how far you'd go to try and push her buttons.

an idea came to mind, a negotiation, really.

"tell you what, no breakfast, but you have to eat lunch and three snacks between dinner."

you thought about it for a second before peeking from underneath the covers, "deal." natasha patted your side, "i'm only doing this because you've been doing so well these past few weeks. don't count on this deal happening again." she spoke thoroughly, the plate of food now on its way into the kitchen trash-bin.

while you laid in bed natasha texted wanda. the redhead thought it would be beneficial for the younger woman to pay a visit. she knew how close the two of you were and decided to invite her over. it wasn't much, but the idea of wanda coming over and (possibly) helping you in any shape or form was very reassuring to natasha.

wanda texted back almost instantly, informing her that she was just short of an hour out, having to stop for gas on the way. natasha thumbs up'd her message and began planning out the day.

before either of you knew it, it was 12 noon. lunch had approached sooner than expected. wanda and natasha easily got caught up in a conversation. the only thing keeping time was nat's alarm that set off.

"time to go wake y/n up," natasha giggled, although she knew you'd be a challenge today. wanda followed her, too excited to wait on surprising you with lunch.

"y/n! c'mon, a special someone is here to see you."

a groan could be heard from the bed as you up to see who was there. you smiled at the sight of wanda and she immediately brought you in for a squeeze-the-life-out-of-you hug.

you didn't miss her smile faltering when she let you go.

you were still just as boney and thin as you were when you left the compound. three weeks was nothing, but you swore you could feel every ounce of weight gain coming back.

wanda helped you out of bed, allowing you to lean on her as she guided you into the kitchen. it was a good thing too, because you were more light headed than usual.

"what are you doing here?" wanda smiled and pushed the already prepared plate of food towards you. it'd been a few minutes and you hadn't even touched your fork. "what? couldn't surprise you?" natasha giggled from your left. you already seemed to be in a much better mood with wanda around than you had been this morning. but both women caught onto the fact that you were only shoving the food on your plate, not making any effort at all to actually eat it.

nat tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, "you have to eat, you know the deal we made." her push was soft, but it didn't make things any easier.

you sighed, tightening the grip around your fork. things like this shouldn't be so hard. it was food. food is fuel, food is good, but somewhere in your mind those messages were twisted and crumpled into something that could never be more false.

you leaned into natasha, keeping your face shielded away from the plate. tears sprung into your eyes and you begged for her to not make you eat.

"tasha, just one day, please. i promise i'll eat tomorrow-"

"i wish that were true, i really do, sweetheart." nat rubbed your shoulder before pushing you back, forcing you to look her in the eyes. "i'm going to go grocery shopping and run a few extra errands. wanda will be here to watch you finish your meal and to have a snack or two before i get back. i love you, okay?"

(you knew she did. but holy fuck, why did she have to do this to you.)

"yeah, you too." and with that, natasha grabbed her keys, kissed you on the forehead and left.

you don't know why, but you didn't actually think wanda would listen to natasha. that belief was quickly thrown out when you moved to get up from the table, wanda quick to grab your wrist and stop you from going to far.

"stay. please? just a few bites, i won't tell natasha if you don't..." she pleaded. a feeling of safety grew in your chest. your level of trust with her had always been high, but this time it felt more intimate. wanda was seeing you at your worst, a vulnerable position you'd never let anyone else but tasha see, and yet, wanda decided to stay.

it took over an hour for you to manage half a meal. wanda sat through it all, however, and coaxed you through each bite.

now, two hours later with a snack in hand, you sat quietly on the porch, head resting on wanda's lap with her fingers tied in your hair.

"do you talk to nat?"

"sometimes. actually yeah, most of the time i talk to her. it helps, and she's a great listener." you complimented.

"wanda?"

"hm?"

"why are you doing this?"

wanda looked down at you, seeing your eyes bore into her and bit her lip, "it's hard to see the girl that i loved and the girl that came back. i should've noticed before you went on your mission, but i didn't because i was too wrapped up with my own issues."

"you can't blame yourself, wanda. i didnt want to be seen. you couldn't have done anything different."

she hummed, ears perking up at the sound of natashas car pulling in the driveway.

you jumped up from her lap and ran to help tasha with her groceries, earning a loving glare from the redhead.

oh yeah. no strenuous activity. too many calories that you needed would be burned off. at least that's what you were told anyway.

wanda stayed the rest of the day, even through dinner. (only because you begged natasha to let her stay that long.)

natasha didn't seem to mind that she stayed. the redhead heard more laughs and giggles from you than she'd heard in the past six months.

the worst part about the day ending was the fact that wanda had to leave eventually.

(eventually being now.)

you pouted. you weren't ready for her to go just yet.  she'd taken your mind off of so much today and you weren't sure you could face it again. really, you didn't want to face it again.

"i believe in you." she murmured.

stupid mind reading.

wanda rolled her eyes, "i'm serious, y/n. you've got this. you're amazing."

“you're only saying that because you have to.”

her eyebrows pulled together. "no. i'm saying it because i know it's true. you've got a gift, y/n. what you have– you're going to get it back."

you inhaled.

"next time i see you, i want you to be a little bit more healthy, okay?" wanda gave you a tight hug and left without another word. she just hoped the next time she saw you it wasn't in a casket.

you hoped the next time you saw her, you'd be better.

today wasn't easy, but it gave you a taste of everything you'd been missing.

and you wanted it back.

[ihearthes]

Quarantine Christmas Part  2

Author: @ihearthes Pairing: Harry x y/n Rating: Smut Word Count: 2768 (Part 1) Fiction Chalenge via @caitlin‘s fiction party via @sweetcreatureinthedark

Part 1

December 24, 2020

“Smith!” he bellows way too early and cheerfully as he pounds on my bedroom door. “Happy Christmas Eve! Come on! Let’s go for a jog.”

“Arrrrggggghhhhh,” I growl. “No.”

“If you hike the Hastain Trail with me, I’ll spring for coffee afterwards.”

“Go away, Styles.” Drawing the pillow over my head, I try to block out the sound of his voice. 

“Fresh air will be good for you.”

“You’re not going to give up, are you?” 

“Not on your life. I hate hiking alone.”

“Fine!” Throwing the covers off, I don my newly cleaned leggings, sports bra, and a t-shirt before opening the door and marching past him in my tennis shoes. “Bully,” I accuse. 

“You’re mad that I’m forcing you to take care of yourself?” Although he sounds offended, that smirk is back. 

“Whatevs, Styles. Let’s go.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

He sets off at a brisk pace, and I trail behind him slightly. After all, I’m still waking up. 

“Keep up, Smith!”

Just to be ornery, I slow my stride, taking my time examining the plants next to the path. When I next glance up, Harry is a solid quarter mile ahead of me, and I contemplate turning back, finding a picnic table and taking a nap on it until he’s done. 

But no. That’s not to be, as he turns and jogs back to me, keeping his legs pumping as he moves backwards. 

“You’re going to trip on something,” I caution. 

He grins. “You care about me!”

My eyes roll so far back into my head that I swear I can see my own brain. “No. But I care about Glenne, and she would be mighty upset if I had a part in damaging you.”

“Mhm.” The smirk is back, and as hard as I try to keep a sour look on my face, it’s challenging. “Where was Christmas supposed to be?” His question is casual, but it causes me to flinch.

“Indiana,” I snap off the word like one would a twig on a dying tree. Immediately, I feel guilty. “Sorry.” My mumble is quiet, but loud enough for him to hear and nod in silent acceptance. “You don’t deserve rudeness. What about you? London?”

“Holmes Chapel. With my mum, my sister, and her boyfriend.”

“Ah. Is it cold there this year?”

“Fairly mild. And Indiana?”

“Cold, cold, cold. Maybe even snow still on the ground.”

“Yeah. Christmas in Los Angeles is quite different.” Harry gestures around the trail, and I smile. 

“Definitely.”

“What are your favorite traditions?” 

By the time we loop back around to the start of the trail, we’ve exhausted the topic, and I realize my mood has improved tremendously. 

“Thank you, Harry.” The words are soft, and I try to insert as much authenticity as I can into them. 

I have the pleasure of watching his eyes soften as he observes me over the top of the car. “Coffee next! And a trip to the grocery!”

“Grocery? You’re cooking?”

“WE are baking and then cooking.”

“Really?”

“Yep. We’re going to create a mashup of our traditions.”

“No fucking way!” I exclaim, excited at the prospect. Sitting up, I search for a piece of paper and a pen. “I didn’t bring my purse, Styles. Give me your phone.”

“My phone?” Confused, he gazes at me while at a stoplight. 

“I need to write down the ingredients we need to buy. Let’s see. We can’t make some of the cookies we each like because I don’t know if Glenne has cookie cutters in the right shapes. So how about some ginger biscuits?” 

When he nods, I gesture for his phone. “Come on, Styles. I need to look up recipes and make sure we get the right ingredients.”

Reluctantly, he unlocks his phone, handing it to me. “No snooping,” he warns, shaking his finger in my direction. 

“Puuuuuuullllllleeeeeasssse. As if.” Using his browser, I search for a recipe for the ginger biscuits for him as well as one for thumbprint jam cookies, copying the ingredients into his Notes app. 

“Now, for dinner,” he begins, and my fingers pause as I wait for his next words. “Mum used to do a roast, but I don’t eat meat anymore. Just fish. And your family always does turkey. How do we compromise on a protein?”

“Scallops? Salmon? Both delicious and something I would consider fancy enough for a holiday meal.”

“Excellent!” Harry declares. “And can we agree on brussel sprouts and yams?”

My whole being is excited at the prospect of this meal with Harry. Suddenly there’s a silver lining to spending my favorite holiday away from my family. 

As he turns off the engine, I rest my hand on his wrist until he twists to look at me. “Thank you, Harry.”

“You already said that.” He rolls his eyes, but the crinkles send a different message. 

Less than 30 minutes later, we’re back in the car with the trunk full of groceries, including prosecco. After stopping for the promised coffee, we return to Glenne and Jeffrey’s house, unloading the food. 

“Mind if I take a shower before we start?” I ask, looking down at my clothing. “I feel dusty still from the trail.”

“Let’s both shower --” He stalls at my shocked expression “-- in separate bathrooms, Smith. Then let’s see who can put together the worst Christmas outfit from whatever we can find in the guest bedroom where we’re each sleeping.”

A grin crosses my face. “Oh, you’re going down, Styles!” Rushing out of the room, I’m confident that my ears are playing tricks on me because I think he responds with “I would love to go down on you.” He must have said something completely different, and I shake my head to clear the thought. 

When I emerge later, I’m wearing my grey sweatpants which I’ve pinned garland to along with one of my green hoodies and a giant wreath draped around my neck like a necklace by a red ribbon. Arriving in the kitchen, I’m stopped in my tracks by the sight of Harry wearing a skirt of wrapping paper over his also-grey sweatpants, along with a variety of bows stuck to his Green Bay Packers hoodie. 

He shrugs, “Apparently they use that guest bedroom for storing wrapping paper.” 

I laugh as I pluck one of the bows off his hoodie and place it on my chest after removing the wreath. 

“You win,” I concede. “I’m surprised there’s so much Christmas stuff in their house.”

“Eh. The Azoff family celebrates everything.”

“Lucky us, then.”

Side by side, we create the dough first for the ginger biscuits and then for the thumbprint cookies. After he slides the first pans into the oven, Harry crosses his arms. “Scrabble while we wait for them to bake?”

“Oh, it’s on!” I agree, and we settle at the dining room table to play the game. 

“Fine. You win,” Harry pouts over an hour later as I play my final letter which manages to be on a triple word score tile. 

“Woo hoo!” Stuffing one of the ginger biscuits in my mouth, I chew thoughtfully. “These are pretty good. I might make them again next year.”

“Same for these,” Harry grins as he chews on one of the thumbprint cookies. Crossing his arms on the table in front of him, he leans toward me. “Now how about you tell me exactly why you turned down my account when Glenne offered it to you?”

Shock courses through my body, and I freeze, knowing my face is likely turning into a candy cane red. 

“She told you?”

“Of course she told me! I had specifically asked for you, so I was a bit heartbroken when she told me that you refused.”

His word choice makes me raise an eyebrow. “Heartbroken?”

“Devastated? Wrecked? Disappointed? Take your pick, Smith.”

Swallowing, I make eye contact with him. “I’ll tell you why I turned down our account if you’ll tell me why you call me Smith.”

His tongue darts out and wets his lips as his green eyes bore into me. “Because you remind me of a Granny Smith apple.” Confusion must sweep across my face, as he continues talking. “You’re tart at first, but you can be sweetened. I’ve witnessed it in the past as well as just the last two days.” His face colors, but he continues speaking anyway. “Plus I suspect you’re incredibly juicy, and I would love a sample.”

Shit. Shit. Shit. Had Harry Styles just made a very obvious overture? Yes. Yes, he had. My eyes float over his face, searching for any indication that he’s lying, but the sincerity is striking. 

First I look at my entwined hands, and then I decide to show the same courage he has exhibited. “I turned down your account because I couldn’t possibly work for you when I’m this attracted to you. It’s bad form to want to --” I can’t decide on the appropriate word, so I settle for “-- jump your client.”

The smirk is back, and it’s followed by an uproarious laugh. “This is too rich! To think that we could have been having some sort of relationship all this time is mind-numbing.” Rising, he holds out his hand. “How about we consummate our mutual attraction?”

“In the middle of the afternoon on Christmas Eve?”

“You got a better idea of how to spend our time?” 

“Swimming?” I tease. 

“Smith?”

“Yeah?”

“Take my hand.”

His words and tone make it clear that he’s interested in moving forward with this. My own body’s response is in sync with his. Gently, I place my hand in his as I rise from the table. Twisting his body, he also shifts his hand, leading me in the direction of…where? A bedroom seems too rushed. Not that my hormones would agree. 

But no. We walk down the two steps into the living room where he turns on the Christmas tree lights before settling on the couch and tugging my arm so that I join him. “Oh, wait.” Rising, he approaches the sound system, and soon the strains of Christmas music fill the space. Returning to my side, he settles with his arm around me. 

“Smith…” His words are a whisper, and I rotate my head in his direction as he brushes his finger over my cheek. When our lips meet, I swear I can hear the angels sing. His mouth is soft and tender, and I twine my fingers through the hand draped over my shoulder as I open wide to allow him to enter. Our tongues tangle in heat and dampness that also seems to pool between my legs. He tastes of the lemon curd thumbprints we had jointly made, and I relish the flavor, wanting more. 

Shifting closer to him, I tilt my head to provide greater access, and his hand drifts to my sweatpants. Withdrawing from me, he examines our clothes. “Mind if I remove this garland?”

“Not at all,” I purr. “As long as I can get rid of these bows.” The wrapping paper skirt had already been ruined when we sat down for the Scrabble game. 

Rather than unpinning the garland, though, he hooks his thumbs into my waistband and draws the sweatpants over my hips. “Up, Smith.” I lift my bum as he removes my bottoms, leaving me in my panties. 

In return, I inch his hoodie up his chest and off, tossing it over my shoulder, heedless of the bows that seem to desire to stay attached to the musician. Can’t say I blame them. 

“Hmmmm,” he murmurs before capturing my lips again. 

When we come up for air, my hands have managed to roam his chest, tweaking his nipple and wrenching a moan from his mouth. For his part, his hand has drifted over the small piece of cloth separating my treasure from full access. His thumb rubs a pattern over the fabric, and soon I’m panting. 

“Fuck,” I mutter as we separate. 

“Yes please” is his cheeky reply. 

“Dork,” I indict.

“Mhm. Take off that hoodie. Please.” 

Willingly, I oblige. Before the material has hit the floor, he’s capturing my nipple in his mouth, and I throw my head back as fire stokes through my body from my tits to my core. “Shit,” I proclaim. 

His fingers return to the scrap of cloth covering my center. As his thumb teases my clit through the silk, a finger slips underneath and into me. Without thought, I cry out, my lower body rising from the bed to get closer to heaven. 

“Been a while?” His voice is rough, sounding like sandpaper as he dislodges from my breast. 

“Too long,” I pant, “but you’ve always had the power to bring me to the brink just with a look.”

“I see,” he smirks, and normally I would want to smack him, but this time, I find it endearing. 

“I want --” I gesture to his sweats, and he grins. 

“If I refuse?”

“Then my treasure box can close pretty quickly if I don’t have something in my hands.”

Harry laughs. “Fair enough.” Shucking his sweatpants over his hips, I find that he’d chosen not to wear underpants as his cock springs upwards into my waiting hand. 

“Shit. I need lubricant.” I complain. 

We gaze at each other, the lust clear. Jumping up from the sofa, we race together to Glenne and Jeffrey’s bathroom. I scour the lower cabinets while Harry throws open the linen closet. “Got it!” he announces, holding the bottle over his head. 

“Thank God!” My relief is real. Grabbing the bottle from him, I find I can’t move. Now what? Where do we go? We can’t very well do the deed in their bed. 

Grabbing my hand, Harry once more takes the lead, and we end up in his guest bedroom. I gesture at the bed, and he strips off the duvet before lying down on his back. Crawling onto the mattress, I settle between his thighs, tilting the bottle of lube and squeezing a fair amount into my hand. Relaxed, I hold my hand over his cock, allowing droplets to fall. His eyes plead with me, and I grin at him. 

“Impatient, Styles?”

“Desperate for you, Smith.”

With that pronouncement, I wrap both hands around his length, allowing my fingers to glide gently along his shaft. One hand falls underneath where I can tickle his balls playfully. When his hips start bucking, I withdraw from him completely -- albeit slowly with a final few long strokes. 

His eyes fly open, and he pats the bed next to him, so I lie there. 

“Smith…”

“Shhhh. Hush, Styles.”

Miraculously he doesn’t say anything, but he does reach out and shift aside the fabric over my vagina before he delves a finger inside. I know I’m wet. Hell, I can feel the dampness. 

His finger teases me, and I writhe under his attention. 

“Fuck, Styles. I’m gonna…”

“Do it!” he orders, and my lower body creates a bridge as my hips rise into the air while my thighs tremble in ecstasy. 

As I land back onto the bed and earth itself from my recent visit to heaven, Harry carefully removes my panties and throws them over his shoulder. 

“Condom?” He inquires.

“IUD. You clean?”

“Yep. Got tested not long ago. You?”

“Fuck me, Styles. We deserve this.”

“Indeed,” he grins just before he plunges into me, and I cry out at the feel of his length inside me, filling me and touching every part of me. 

“Shit.” My breaths come in short spurts as he pumps into me. I can’t seem to catch my breath as my second orgasm starts building. “Shift to the left, Styles.”

“You got it, Smith. Can you scratch at my back?” 

“You bet.” 

The communication is nice as we guide each other to what pleases us the most. As much as I want to take our time, it’s not nearly long enough before I feel my insides begin to clench in a familiar way. 

“Fuck, Styles. I’m coming!”

“Me too, Smith! Fuuuuuuuuuccccccckkkkkk!” He stretches the word into multiple syllables as I feel his seed squirting into my womb, stopped only by my birth control. His fingers reach between our bodies as he manipulates my clit until I see stars and arch my lower body to become closer to him. 

Collapsing on top of me, his breathing is as uneven as my own. 

“Merry Christmas, Smith,” he murmurs while we’re still joined. 

“Merry Christmas, Styles,” I reply, hugging his body tightly to mine. No telling if we have a future, but this holiday is going to be one for the books. 

A/N:  This short story is dedicated to those who aren’t able to join family this Christmas due to the Coronavirus.  Be safe.  Be healthy.  Make the best of the situation. Sending you BIG HUGS!