#put her down son

[womanlives]

“YOU GET PAID FOR THAT?”

Diplomacy’s never been what you could call Kara’s strong suit. Here she is, busting her balls and investigating crimes the ‘normal way’ — motive, evidence, blah de blah de blah — and this guy’s talkin’ about aliens?

(The small voice, the one she tries to ignore because blind belief’s got no place in a murder investigation: what if he’s onto something?)

Kara wrinkles her nose and puffs out her cheeks. She leans back against the plush red leather of the diner booth. Her latest case has her stumped — so much so she’s done the uncharacteristic move of asking for outside opinions. Okay, maybe not so much asking. Maybe more like bullying info out of every investigator she can get her hands on. Yeah. That sounds like her.

She lifts her shake to her lips and slurps noisily on the straw. Rookie mistake: overdoing it on the nonchalance to cover up the fact that she’s interested. (Is not.) Is. Liar.

“Okay, I’ll bite,” Kara says at last, and for once doesn’t mean it literally. “Name a case you solved that had the supernatural — ” this emphasized with overdramatic air quotations “ — behind it.” She smirks. “I’ll wait.”

@mcstunwanted looks divorced.

[bet-on-me-13]

Bruce Wayne was never Batman.

So! The night that Bruce Wayne's parents got shot, he developed an Unbreakable Resolve. He needed to get rid of the Crime that had taken his Parents away from him, no matter what.

But that night, he also developed a deep-seated fear of Death. He was face to face with his own Demise and instead of dying himself he saw his Parents die instead. He was Terrified of ending up like them.

But he still needed to stop Crime. He couldn't just let criminals go unpunished, and while he was still using his wealth to try and prevent it before it began, he knew there needed to be something to stop crime After it had been committed. And the Cops were useless on that Front.

He eventually found a solution while looking through his Parents Family Heirlooms.

Ancient Books dating back to the founding of Gotham and even before then, telling of a Creature from another world who his Ancestors had helped in the Past. A Being of Fear and Shadow, who owed a debt to the Wayne Family. He needed that Being. A Monster of Shadows and Fear was exactly the answer to scaring criminals away from committing crimes and punishing those who did.

But he needed to find the Being from another world first.

So he left home, traveling across the Globe training with the best Magicians and Demonologists in the world in search of the Monster who owed his Family a Debt. His travels took him far, from the streets of LA where he met a man named Zatara, to the Snowy Mountains of Nanda Parbat where he learned of the Lazarus Pits and the Demon's that came out of them.

While studying the Lazarus Pits, he was trained by the organization who guarded them. They despised Weakness, and while their leader was in awe of his Intelect he was less impressed by his body's conditioning. If he was to study the Lazarus Pits, he would first have to earn the Right in Combat.

He eventually managed to pass their Tests and eventually left them, having handed over a Copy of his research as the price for being allowed to Study the Pits.

Years later, he finally returned to Gotham, fully equipped to Summon the Being that owed him a Debt.

Bruce drew up the Summoning Circle as perfectly as he possibly could, he had one shot at it.

A drop of his blood and a splash of Lazarus Water later, and the Circle began to glow an ominous Green. Slowing, a shifting shadow began to emerge from the Circle, at first only a mass of writhing darkness before their form Solidified.

The Books he had found on the Spirit said that it would take the form of the Summoners Greatest Fear, which just so happened to be Bats for Bruce. The Form that the Spirit chose reflected that, with large Dark Wings falling over their form as if they were a Cape, and horns looking like the Ears of a Bat. From the Darkness, two glowing eyes appeared.

"Spirit, hear me. My name if Bruce Wayne, and I am calling in the Debt owed to my Family centuries ago. My City is plagued with crime and malice, rotting from its Core. My efforts to prevent Crime from the side of the Light have been in vain, Crime persists despite my efforts. In order for my vision to be fulfilled, the Criminals of this City must have their hearts pierced by Fear. Fear of Retribution. Fear of Consequences. Fear of Vengeance."

Thoughout bis Speech, the Shadowed Figure stayed silent.

"That is why I have called you here. I want you to stalk these streets, punish the criminals of this City and strike fear into their hearts from the shadows, so that they know to stay in the light. I don't want you to Kill them, never kill them. Let them live with that fear in their Hearts until their final days."

After he finished his speech, the Figure finally spoke.

"Your Quest is an Honorable one. You seek the betterment of your people's, and are unafraid to resort to drastic measures to achieve that goal. It reminds me of my Liege's resolve." It Spoke, it's voice low and rumbling. "Very Well. From this day forth, I shall protect your City from the Darkness in its own Heart. I shall be your Dark Knight."

...

Had this idea out of nowhere and needed to write it down. In this AU, Bruce still wants to protect his City from crime, but is understandably traumatized from seeing the Deaths of his Parents. He has a deep-seated fear of Dying, so he chooses to forgo fighting crime himself.

Instead, he finds out about a Spirit that his Ancestors helped long ago, and decides that the most logical next step out be to Summon a Demon to protect his City. Instead of training his Body for a decade to become Batman, he trains his Mind and Studies as much about Magic and Demon's as Possible.

He still knows how to fight because he trained with the League. He approached them with an offer to study the Lazarus Pits and give them his findings, and they accepted. But Ra's didn't want a weakling on his Base so he also required Bruce to train his body. He saw his potential for combat, and was so disappointed that Bruce had chosen a different path. He could have been Great!

Bruce still has a thing with Talia that produces Damian, he is still a point of interest from Ra's since he is insanely smart and has huge potential, and he knows how to fight pretty well. Albeit not as well as in Canon.

Bruce becomes the Benefactor/Guy in the Chair for Fright Knight (who is the one he summoned if you couldn't tell), who looks like a "Bat Man" because of Bruce's fear of Bats. Fright Knight agreed to this because 1.) He had a debt to pay, 2.) Bruce reminded him of Danny, and 3.) He respected Bruce's ballsyness to Summon a demon and command it to protect people.

Bruce still adopts his Kids, but there are some changes.

Dick is adamant about fighting Crime, and eventually Bruce is forced to let him go on patrol with Fright Knight, who has started going by Batman. Thankfully Frighty managed to give him some blessings so he had minor powers and would be safer.

Jason is mostly the same, and he is so excited that Robin actually IS Magical. When he dies, Fright Knight, who had gotten attached to their Family, goes into the Zone to search for him. He is unsuccessful unfortunately.

Tim is kind of funny. He figured out that Dick was Robin, and Jason was the 2nd Robi , but assumed that Bruce was Batman. When he approached Bruce about becoming Robin so he would stop going down his violent Cycle, Bruce Redirected him to talk to Fright Knight, who was not taking his failure to find Jason well.

Damien grew up knowing that his Father was a Genius, and the Master of the Batman, which gave him a bit of an Ego. At first he thought of Fright Knight as a Servant, and tried to command him like he did with Alfred. Frighty corrected him quickly enough.

Any more ideas for this AU? I have so many, but I think I need to stop for now.

[rythyme]

"came back wrong" but no one besides the resurrected person has noticed, and they're doing everything they can to keep it that way. everyone cares about them so damn much and is so damn happy to have them back that they'd rather die all over again than reveal the truth. these people don't deserve to lose their loved one twice.

[wyvernity]

sss day my favorite national holiday WOOOOHHHH

bonus

[anglerflsh]

day and night / the creation of adam

[antiquepearlss]

I actually really want Eugene to officiate the Varigo wedding because one, it’s not a very official or proper wedding. If anything, it’s something Rapunzel and Varian put together in one week and is essentially just a giant party where they blow stuff up and eat cake. Varian totally asks Eugene thirty minutes beforehand if he will officiate and after five minutes of sobbing, he agrees.

And two, because I want him to say this line-

“It has been a joy to watch your distracting childish rivalry turn into a distracting childish courtship, which will undoubtedly turn into a distracting childish marriage.”

[vigilskeep]

I know you went into this briefly before. But truly. HOW INSANE adding a child into the Isabelamance arranged marriage Hawke.

Is the child expected to inherit? Does it remove potential matches Hawke could have had, potentially making the fiance lower on the social ladder than Hawke?? The implications?? Does Isabela even LIKE the kid??? What if the kid gets seasick. What then. How does no attachments no complications Isabela allow herself to fall in love with THE most attached man in Thedas.

AND THE KID WOULD BE OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE AGENCY AND OPINIONS AND AND SHIT IN ACT 3 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAJHHH

making this woman the not-stepmother to a kid growing up in a hightown estate just to feel something

[sheena-isa-punkrocker]

people complaining that bix 'isnt her own person' in andor s1 like did we even watch the same show

[shannonsketches]

He said "Fuck this shit, I'm out" I'm crying. Toriyama's Vegeta was so top shelf 🤌

(From Neko Majin Z Chapter 5!)

[bardic-irritation]

on MAG 137 and uh, hey Gertrude, what the fuck?!?

The detonation would need to happen from within the Unknowing, while it was going on. Gerard may have a connection to the Eye, but I'm not convinced it will be enough. And I will admit I've grown... fond of the boy.

that'ssofuckedthat'ssofuckedthat'ssofucked-

I wonder, if I told him about Eric, whether he'd follow in his father's footsteps. Still, it's not like it kept Eric safe in the end.

oh my god and on top of that she actively kept secrets from him about his father?!? and this is all just a sidenote to her!! isn't Gerry supposed to be the person she actually cared about the most? is Gertrude even capable of love at this point? did his cancer really sneak up on them or did she know and just ignore him getting sicker and sicker?

[bonefall]

longtime dc fan and i think a lot of people are angry because alex is obviously one of the most culturally relevant instances of misogyny in media. that being said being more culturally relevant doesn’t mean it’s the worst instance of misogyny and i think bumble definitely experiences more profound misogyny in the way the actual content is presented, if that makes sense

I get you, and that's a charitable way of looking at it.

I think what's rustling my jimmies is that like, there was a couple of WC fans being mildly dismissive of Alex in that note minefield, after dozens of comments of "fuck you how could you let the fridge woman lose" and "Bumble didn't deserve to win ANY rounds" and "how could A CAT experience misogyny." But then WE get blamed for the toxicity because THEY were butthurt that the Funny Cat People have the 'audacity' to win something they feel entitled to.

Like, we've gotta be endlessly charitable as we get openly insulted because they're upset about Alex losing, a very well-known and culturally relevant character with a legacy so massive we have a whole term named after her. But condemnations of "She's just a cat, letting WC into this poll was a mistake, Bumble can't even be a victim of misogyny" only started coming around once I started talking about it.

as if it's OUR fault people got passive-aggressive or even OPENLY aggressive towards us, and that we're "just as bad" for retaliating

But like you said, it's not a "Most Culturally Relevant Misogyny" tournament, it's a "Canon Misogyny Victims" tournament. And you're not even supposed to give a shit that Bumble died. The fat, woman abuse victim is beaten to death by a dictator, and your takeaway is meant to be, "It's so sad that Clear Sky is being blamed for murdering her, now they're all preparing for self-defense against a homicidal maniac, oh nooo :("

And I think that DOES make her deserve the win here! Alex is a MARTYR. Everyone with a brain agrees what happens to her is bad. It happened in her canon because it was bad. We talk about her and keep her memory alive. Bumble gets dismissed entirely out of hand because she's "just a cat in a kid's book" as if that doesn't make it worse, and as if the kid's book didn't treat a domestic abuse survivor like a moron for even asking for help.

Anyway, just to reiterate, I love DC fans. It's not all of you guys. Alex was done dirty and deserves justice-- and it's even kind of a shame that all she became is "The Fridge Woman." I haven't even heard people talk about how she was a wary, responsible person who was still ready to rock with Kyle's new weird glowstick powers, or that she was a journalist, or that she just got brought back in another edition as a Green Lantern only to be revealed as an illusion and re-absorbed back into Kyle's mind. Nope. Even her fans just remember her as The Fridge Woman.

[reallyhardy]

Sorry what’s up w the Ethan slater stuff? I know him only from your posts / SpongeBob stuff

HI HELLO please buckle in

yep -- the same guy from the spongebob musical, and my posts abut the spongebob musical.

he blew up completely and now the general public knows him as 'ariana grande's new boyfriend' - their relationship seems to have started off the back of co-starring in the upcoming wicked musical film adaptation.

it's just been like. a monkey's paw curling sort of a way for him to get catapulted to fame, as i had always really enjoyed him as a performer (as spongebob, yes, but also in the other roles i'd seen him in,) and my biggest hope back around 2017 was that he would continue in and be really successful in theatre, get a lot of broadway roles, maybe take on some existing parts i thought he'd really suit, like seymour in little shop or ogie in waitress.......... but instead he booked the role of boq from wicked in a massive hollywood film production instead, where he met ariana grande. THE ariana grande.

and then yeah. at some point, he and grande broke up with their respective partners, (slater leaving both his wife AND newborn son) jumped into a new relationship, and now the whole wider internet knows who he is but certainly not for the right reasons.

there's been speculation regarding whether or not grande and slater had cheated on their previous partners before their relationship began with various sources coming out of the woodwork saying "yes they did" and others saying "no they didn't" -- humans are all perfectly capable of making stuff up, the media especially, so i simply don't know who to trust and i admit it had completely shattered my whole good impression of him - PLUS it gave the wider internet an absolutely awful first impression of him, resulting in, yeah, the (frankly, unflattering, sometimes downright cruel) memes of him popping up on twitter and, as i discovered yesterday, in non-theatre youtubers' videos who would literally never have heard of him if not for the slater-grande romance 🥲

FULL COVERAGE of the situation as it was happening can all be found on the lovely @notasimpleslater's blog under the tag 'ozgate' if you want to delve deeper!

[aelsie]

Jessie, Ben, Daisy: The Darkling and Alina are like a bickering old married couple.

Me: that means….

Ravka = the child suffering from their bickering and impending divorce, needs major therapy

Genya = the mutual friend who set them up, having a hard time deciding who to side with (at first)

David = their overworked accountant…he can only make so much magic happen

Nikolai = the dashing, shiny young new boyfriend, soon to be stepdad, who Alina, smirking, pulled up with at one of their proceedings

The rest of the Grisha = the assets and estates they’re fighting over

The Crows = Alina’s legal team, ready to win (Kaz = no time for your shit lawyer)

Mal = their pet do—….wait who?

Baghra = Baghra (yelling at them both)

They’re like one of those over the top rich married couples with their dramatic melancholias and flourish-y outfits and when they fight, they definitely overshare and make public spectacles and people look at each other like oh god, this again.

It’s a family drama, and mom and dad are taking some time off and just need couples therapy, that’s all. For now, daddy is sleeping in a hotel.

[incognito-lionbeast]

I think in my AU Tianlang-Jun/heavenly demons in general are a (demon world variant of) Mew. So.. essentially. Big, bad gyarados Su Xiyan saw this funny little foetus cat & was like "I can't NOT have an egg with that"

Thankfully Mew knows Transform. It's fine.

[visenyaism]

cersei valonqar??

okay so i have a different opinion about the cersei prophecy than it appears a lot of the fandom does because i think it can be a LOT less literal than what cersei thinks it is.

we see in a feast for crows that cersei's extreme paranoia about the prophecy and the valonqar is already causing her to make incredibly self-destructive decisions. her prophecy terror has been choking the life out of her since she was eight and it is only getting worse as time goes on. I think that her bringing about her own doom as a result of her fear of a valonqar is enough to count as the valonqar taking her out without jaime or tyrion hiking down to king's landing to materially kill her with their own hands.

same goes for the "younger more beautiful queen" thing. I think it doesn't matter WHO it is (and i don't think it's a specific person at all) because it's actually about cersei's gender terror at the prospect of losing all of her power because she is no longer considered an attractive commodity in the society she lives in being a significant contributing factor to her own doom.

interpreting the prophecy 100% literally and being constantly on the lookout for who's going to be valonqar and the younger queen is a mistake she makes as a character and it's one that is going to get her killed. jaime's in mortal peril stuck in riverlands divorce court and tyrion's on another continent i really think cersei is going to become her own self-fulfilled prophecy. oh no!

[hauntingblue]

Oden's prophecy of young pirates coming to save wano becoming yamato's hope for his freedom.... and him becoming oden because of it.... it's just so good... on the other side luffy taking ace's spot for liberating yamato... I think I hauve covid