Sebastian x Reader: come one, come all (One Shot)
Plot | Five years after graduating, two kindred spirits are finally getting married and their friends reminisce on their brilliant histories.
or, Lucas Brattleby interviews their friends on their memories and opinions of the future Mr. and Mrs. Sallow as a little gift for the couple.
Tags | None, fluff, overuse of the name Merlin, mentions of slight torture (hexes), lowkey bullying, lowkey codependency if you squint, obsessive behavior (but it's okay cause theyre in love), cursing, Lucas lowkey has a crush on Sebastian lol
[A/N: A line from this story is not made by me, "I would follow him to hell but I wish he wouldn't go there" so to whoever wrote that first just know your quote is the inspiration for this story!!]
“What is this again?”
The brat, Lucas Brattleby, had grown obscenely taller the last time Imelda had seen him, which was about 3 years ago when he was a rookie reporter covering her latest game. She heard he is now a publisher in his own right but didn’t seem to brush off that annoying lint in his voice back when he was still a Gryffindor matching illegal unsanctioned duels in the Clock Tower.
“A small gift of mine for the couple,” he grinned (still as irritating, she’s seen that grin enough times before she got her ass handed to her so forgive her for not being enamored), pushing the pen (recorder?) to her that she reflexively pushed him by his face. “Sorry.”
“And why should I do this?”
“Oh come on, Imelda. It’s just harmless questions to take us back down memory lane. It’ll be played at the reception and I promise I’ll send you everything before I finalize it just so you can make sure –”
“Alright!” She stopped walking, rolling her eyes when Lucas quickly assembled his camera, even quickly conjuring a chair and putting it at the center of the frame. Clearly, he knew she could change her mind at any moment.
“My lady,” he bowed dramatically, pointing a palm to the seat.
“Don’t call me that. You have 10 minutes before warm-ups start.” Lucas raised both of his hands in the air before quickly running behind the camera and clicking the button to start recording.
“I’ll be out of here in 5.” Lucas flipped a paper in front of him. “Let’s start with your name, a little something about yourself and where did you meet them.”
She took a deep breath, putting on the poker face she usually plasters on her face when talking to the media before her many games instinctively. “Imelda Reyes, Vice-Captain of Puddlemere United, and I had the misfortune of being in the same boat as Sebastian Sallow during our first year. She, however, was a little late to the party and wreaked havoc on my life when I was a fifth year.”
Lucas was meticulously writing notes in his fancy notebook.
“What’s the fondest memory you have of the couple?”
She scoffed, not even needing to think about it. “Sebastian? Definitely when he caught a bludger … with his face.” The memory of the cry he emitted pulled a real smile on Imelda’s face. “We almost lost and I would’ve killed him for it but oh was it glorious.”
He remembers this game.
“Didn’t he fall off his broom midair?”
Imelda waved a nonchalant hand in front of her face. “That girlfriend of his caught him with an Arresto Momentum so no harm done – well, except the crooked nose he sported for a week.”
Lucas chuckled with her, “And for the future Mrs. Sallow?”
“Nothing much, most conversation we’ve had was her beating me – beating me in a race, beating me in a duel, Merlin, she even beat me with the class ranking on her first year in Hogwarts. I had a five-year head start how was that possible?!”
Lucas smiled, reading that as bitter her words were she truly held no grudge over it. He was caught off guard, however, when Imelda suddenly had a small, serene smile on her face, her voice when she spoke softer. “She was … it was like I was always chasing after her. We all were, Sebastian always first in the race but … it was fun. I had fun. She made Hogwarts fun. A true competition, yknow? Didn’t have much at that point in my life.”
“Competition?”
“A friend.”
Lucas couldn’t help but be surprised – not everyone can be considered as Imelda Reyes’ friend as picky as she is, though he quickly fixed his face when she shot him a look that told him not to probe. “Did you ever think they would both get married?”
Imelda scoffed out a laugh, crossing her arms. “I knew the only way they wouldn’t get married is if Sallow got assassinated by one of her many admirers and even then I wouldn’t put it past him to somehow turn into an Inferi just so he can still be the one to marry her. I’m honestly surprised he held on for this long, pretty sure he would’ve popped the question the moment we graduated.”
“Technically, he did. They just decided to get married this year.”
That one made her laugh out loud, shaking her head at her old friend’s antics. Of course, she knew those two would get married, basically tied to the hip, always getting in and out of trouble with each other and for each other. Bloody hell, they’d been married since fifth-year and just didn’t know it.
“Typical Sallow,” she caught herself. “Well, Sallows now, Merlin help us all.”
Lucas rechecked everything on his notes, making sure to mark any and all important details of the words his enchanted pen has written for him as he spoke with his former Senior, Garreth Weasley, who was once a thorn on the side of Professor Sharp but was now a renowned Potions Master actively getting scouted by Hogwarts, his blends sought upon by the most respectable wizards and witches all over the world.
“Did I think they would get married? Mate, Sebastian almost bit my head off when I tried to ask her if she would like to be partners for one potion class. One! And we were sitting next to each other! I’m sorry if I thought I was being friendly?!”
Lucas has heard and has unfortunately been a victim of Sebastian’s … tendencies. You, despite being the top duelist in Hogwarts was always, more often than not, partnered with Sebastian in every duel. The one time Lucas had agreed in a quiet solo duel without letting Sebastian know his senior had caught him on his way to his potion's class and nailed him to the wall by his cloak while threatening him to never let it happen again or he will turn him into a pretty outline in the walls of Hogwarts with Bombarda.
He thinks that was the closest thing he had been to peeing his pants.
“Yeah, Sebastian doesn’t have the best track record with friendly males around his girlfriend.”
“They weren’t even courting by then how would I bloody know that –”
“Ready, Poppy?”
Surprisingly, the sweet woman in front of him has been the most difficult to track down. Amongst their mutual friends she was the one he had no idea where to start, especially after his only lead, her grandmother, had no other information to give him aside that the last she heard Sweet Poppy was down South Clagmar Coast ‘doing Merlin knows what’.
Thankfully, the citizens of Cragcroft were a bit more helpful and he was able to send her an owl about his little project.
“Where should we start?”
Lucas made sure she was framed perfectly in the shot before nodding to himself. “Nothing complicated Poppy, just first impressions or any memory you have of the young couple.”
She pursed her lips in thought, nodding to herself, “The two of them have always been terrifyingly intimidating, especially for someone like me. Seemed to just attract attention and trouble on their own – I mean, killing a troll in Hogsmeade on the first day – just a bunch of troublemakers they were. Brilliant troublemakers – which only made them scarier in my eyes.”
Lucas nodded in total agreement but he couldn’t help but squint at her.
“You aren’t exactly innocent, Ms. Hid-a-Hippogriff.”
Her eyes widened, blushing at the accusation. “In my defense, future Mrs. Sallow helped me take care of Highwing.”
Poppy recounted the memories with a smile on her face. Her dainty smile grew bigger as she recapped happy memories she had with her classmates.
“But they’ve always been lovely. Lovely people and an even lovelier couple. Sebastian has always been bright and charming and surprisingly kind for a Slytherin and she … she’s always been unapologetic of who she was. It also meant she never judged anybody for who they are either.”
The woman paused, the smile on her face remained frozen as if she was in deep reflection.
“A true friend – one of the truest I had.”
Lucas was never in their circle, hell, aside from each other and maybe Ominis nobody was truly ever in their innermost circle despite their popularity. At every explosive trouble the two were always caught in he couldn’t help but wonder just what they get up to when they weren’t caught. Even back then he knew he would’ve risked his life and followed them no question asked if it meant his young self got to go to one of their death-defying adventures with them.
But being two years younger was a barrier he could never overcome.
It is refreshing to hear of stories from their friend’s perspective and not in passing in the Central Hall in Hogwarts where it’s all half-true, fabricated, or painfully hyperbolic. Maybe that’s why he had thought to do this, a reporter’s disease of needing to know the truth, the dark side of the coin they hid with their secrets and anonymities passed only in hushed whispers and clandestine meetings with each other.
“Are you excited about the wedding?”
Poppy nodded eagerly. “Oh, I’m extremely happy for my friends! It’s not every day two souls find each other and just not let go. I’m glad they didn’t. After all they’ve been through, they deserve to have each other.”
He couldn’t have agreed more.
“That they do.”
Mr. Lucas Brattleby,
I have received your owl, unfortunately, I will not be able to go back there till the night before the wedding as I still have a business to wrap up here in America. For the questions you sent, I shall send this Howler and you may record it.
I have nothing good to say about Mr. Sebastian Sallow, that boy had done nothing but torment me in my youth. It’s a bloody miracle he had managed to snag the Hero of Hogwarts as his girlfriend – terrible lack of judgment on her part I must say, we all have our flaws – much less agree to be his wife. If there’s one good thing he did do, it was willingly become a lowly servant to such a lovely witch. Least he could do, really.
However, despite their blatant differences and unfortunate similarities I, for one, knew immediately that not even Death could sever such a connection – not if Sebastian Sallow had anything to say about it, and trust me I speak from experience. They’ve fought through detentions, goblins, dark wizards, and a damned troll – I’m sure marriage will be a breeze in a park.
Well, if I’m wrong, then let the future Mrs. Sallow know I would be more than willing to offer a comforting shoulder.
Leander Prewitt
Department of International Magical Cooperation
PS. To my darling wife Leonora, light of my life, the last part was a joke and If I somehow disappear it was Sebastian Sallow who did it.
“They give Sebastian too much credit when my dear friend was equally as obsessed about him. Do you remember Allia?”
Lucas snapped his fingers when he finally put a face to the name he hadn’t heard in a while but made sure to look around lest one of the younger students managed to hear such … delicate matters in the DADA classroom. “Didn’t she transfer during your 6th year? Something about personal … complications?”
Natty laughed out loud, doubling over with tears in her eyes. “Oh, that excuse was all thanks to Ominis swinging around his name. Our dear witch hexed poor Allia while she was asleep for trying to poison Sebastian with Amortentia! Sneaked straight into the Ravenclaw tower and cursed her to grow the features of a rat every time she even thought about Sebastian! The only way Ominis could convince our friend to take back the curse and avoid expulsion was at the condition of her transferring and never letting the couple see even her shadow again.”
He never even noticed that his jaw was hanging off his face.
“Oh, if everyone only knew that fights I had prevented if a Junior so much as fluttered their lashes at Sebastian,” she shook her head, still laughing to herself.
Now all the pieces he hadn’t realized were part of the same puzzle clicked on his head. The flat smile on her face that never quite reached her eyes every time they were surrounded by strangers, the grip she always held on Sebastian’s arms no matter where they were going, the ‘promise ring’ Sebastian also wore when traditionally it was just the girl who had it, and the absolute absence of Sebastian’s name when girls talked about boys they fancied in the common room when he was undoubtedly better looking than most students in Hogwarts.
“A jealous witch she was, thinks she’s good at hiding it,” Natty chuckled.
Lucas realized in horror that she had scared off the entire female student body.
“But by the gods was she better at hexes.”
When Lucas had heard that Ominis Gaunt had been working closely with the Minister for Magic and was undoubtedly being groomed to be his successor, he wasn’t exactly surprised. Everyone knew he would be someone important someday so Lucas had damn near lost all hope as he sent an owl to the man.
When he received a reply in a fortnight brought by a regal-looking owl, Lucas thought he must have some soft spot for his fellow alumni. But it would seem the man just had a lot to let out of his chest.
“Oh, the stories I could tell! If I had a knut for every time I had to rescue one of those idiots out of a horrific situation they found themselves in I would be richer than the Blacks!”
He’d never seen his hair this undone in the 7 years they had been on the same campus. Maybe Lucas was just that good of a journalist or maybe it was the half-empty bottle of expensive whiskey that was the reason for his loose lips.
“I mean, Sebastian was bad enough, but once he found someone who would willingly dive with him to whatever dangerous expeditions he found interest in and I was outnumbered it was a bloody nightmare.”
For the first time in his life, he felt pity for the man. It was never really a secret why Sebastian didn’t serve half the detention he deserved nor why neither of them had ever been expelled when a trail of evidence led to the both of them red-handed and always at the scene of the crime. But he has to give it to Ominis … a lesser man would’ve cracked at their mischiefs.
“And Sebastian … everybody knows he would’ve willing let himself be target practice for all sorts of curses if she had asked.”
Lucas can’t even defend his childhood hero. Especially, of the things he had learned from his previous subjects. It would seem even the mightiest of men would always buckle in the face of their true love.
“I-I’m sure they’ve done the same for you,” Lucas winced.
“Oh, they better, with the flaming hoops I had to jump through to make sure we graduated alive,” Ominis waved him off indifferently. “They are my best friends. I would follow them to hell but I just wish they would stop going there for one damn semester.”
Lucas snickered, unfortunately unable to hold it in with just how stressed the memory of the mischiefs his favorite couple got up to has brought Ominis. He was sure the older man would choke him but he just sighed out a laugh until the two of them were laughing to each other.
“I guess they have always been the perfect person for each other.”
Ominis nodded, leaning his head on his fist. “Yeah …”
He threw Lucas a look.
“Do you think they won’t make me their children’s godfather if I begged?”
Lucas bit his lips. “My money is on the eldest getting named after you so …”
Ominis groaned.
Lucas refilled his glass.
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Guest Review: Cold to the Touch by Kerri Hakoda
Crooked Lane Books
April 9th, 2024
Cold To the Touch by Kerri Hakoda is the author’s debut procedural novel. This story has a serial killer kidnapping women and disposing of their bodies in the Alaskan wilderness.
The serial killer is targeting baristas in the Anchorage Alaska area. The first body was found in the snow, ravaged by predators. To add complications to the case, the homicide detective DeHavilland Beans knew her. He’d bought coffee from her every morning and knew her as a bright college student working her way through school.
“It is my first published novel and am considering writing it as a three-book series. The character, Detective Beans, was written previously in an unpublished novel of mine. This allowed me to understand who he was as a character. The barista idea came from the serial killer Israel Keyes when in 2012 he killed a barista in a drive-thru kiosk in Anchorage. She was his last victim. He has only admitted to killing three, including the young woman in Anchorage, but is suspected in killing twelve. This planted the seed for this story, but I wrote it in a totally different direction.”
As more bodies of these coffee baristas wearing skimpy costumes are found, FBI Special Agent Isabelle O’Reilly is brought in along with Dr. Raisa Ingalls, a fish and game expert. Because scavengers damaged the bodies, Raisa was asked to determine if they were the culprits. She determines that animal predators did not do the killing, and her hunting-guide father helps Beans isolate the potential murder weapon.
“There were three strong women protagonists in the story, Dr. Raisa Ingalls, Isabelle O’Reilly and one of the victims who escaped, volunteer firefighter, Sarah Yancey. “I did not want to make all the women characters as victims. They each had their own skills and strengths. They were tough, dependable, independent, responsible, athletic, smart, and passionate. They know their own minds and are decisive. Since Raisa is a scientist, her job is to observe. Isabelle O’Reilly as a Federal Agent would need to be observant, and Sarah to a lesser extent as a first responder.”
Beans is a complex character, the son of a Japanese mother and Irish Athabaskan father. He is intelligent, willing to use unconventional methods and sources, and is very determined. Because of his poor reputation with fellow officers, he is misunderstood. The women brought in to try to help with the investigation recognize how tense and frustrated he is. In addition, he had a past relationship with Raisa, which hopefully will not be a problem. “I wrote him as study in contrast. He is a passivist but carries a gun. He has a cat who thinks he is a dog. He finds fulfillment in his job, faith, and family. Raisa will appear in book 2, but not as Bean’s love interest. They do like and respect each other.”
This novel shows why Alaska also plays a role in the book with its diverse landscape, long winter nights, and bitter cold. Readers will want to make sure they find out who the killer is and how will he be caught.
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