#proving herself to her fam!

[nietzhat]

anyway if i was misty just saying i'd leave the group train on my own rejoin and watch ash's progress and pay attention to his fighting styles again and challenge him until i won and then i'd slit his throat i'm sorry

[faerune]

new oc for a new skyrim playthrough ✊😔

[shadovvheart]

new inky just dropped ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Her name is Lorraine, she's an innovator and reformer, a science wizard enchanter with an interest in inventing new practical ways of applying magic for everyday use to "serve man". A devoted andrastian with some religious trauma (tm) who thinks the circle institution under the chantry is outdated and needs to be changed.

She's reserved, observant, analytical, can be a bit awkward. Has trust issues, and forming relationships doesn't come easy for her, especially with non-mages. Kind of an "aloof, autistic scientist who can appear rude but is determined to improve the world with their inventions" archetype.

More ramblings under the cut 👇🏻

• Lorraine's fam were extremely pro-templar and raised their kids to be devout to the chantry. Magic was considered a dangerous burden, something to be hidden and kept away from regular people, so Lori has some internalised shame due to being a mage. Though she eventually does come to a realisation that her parents' views were unjust and that she shouldn't feel this way, and that her magic is a gift rather than a disgrace. Still, she does her best to put her magic to good use and invent new ways of aiding people through it, in part as a way to prove herself to the world. She believes mages should be allowed to contribute more to society, have professions and hobbies and more safe spaces to experiment with their gift.

• Before discovering her love for academic study and experiments, Lorraine wanted to be a templar. As the youngest child in her family with close ties to the chantry, she couldn't think of anything more fitting as she didn't want to be a cleric, and the idea of being a knight in shiny armour was compelling for a kid. Her magic manifested when she was 11 years old in the dead of the night when the estate was sound asleep. Waking up from a nightmare, she found herself surrounded by fire. She doesn't have much memory from what happened that night, only that she was dragged away by the templars from her home.

• The fire she caused was devastating to the estate, and Lorraine's parents and siblings didn't survive the night. She knows this, but due to the trauma caused suppressed her memories about what really happened. For many years being stuck in the circle she believed her family were so disappointed with her being a mage that they completely turned away from her, refusing to even write letters. That grew some serious resentment and shame inside of her. Her then mentor, Lydia, decided to spare the child more suffering and encouraged her delusions.

• Lydia was like a mother to Lorraine, and while she didn't have many friends at the circle, she considered her fellow mages to be her new family. She's often distrusting and cautious of non-mages, having a hard time believing that they can be accepting and caring about her - a mage - without having some ulterior motive. During the inquisition she bonds fastest with her mage companions. I also see her being closer to Dagna than any other non-mage companion due to their shared interests and passions.

• Eventually, when Lori received the vigil of trust and was allowed to make trips outside of the circle, Lydia told her the truth about the night when she was taken to the circle and encouraged her to reach out to her more distant relatives. Lorraine didn't see the point, as none of those relatives chose to reach out to her all these years either.

• Unlocking those memories for her was...ugly. There's still some unresolved trauma that she tries to learn how to live with. Naturally, the Nightmare demon in here lies the abyss quest takes full advantage of that because Drama. :3c

• I reckon Lorraine is interested in studying lyrium and finding ways for both mages and non-mages to work with it safely. She's also intrigued by the fade and the veil, so naturally she chooses the new, "experimental" fade rift magic later in the game. Apart from rift magic, she often opts for the frost element and spirit schools. She believes people shouldn't shy away from more sophisticated enchantments and other forms of magical crafts, taking inspiration from Tevinter and how they implement magical solutions to everyday problems.

• She would probably invent a magical fire alarm system enchantments to be installed in people's homes.

• While she's the kind of a person who would rather sit in a lab/study all day without interacting with a single living soul, she at one point got frustrated enough with her ideas being denied by the first enchanter that she decided to get into politics and push for reforms that would allow her to practice magic more freely.

• Speaking of politics, Lorraine spent most of her circle life in the aequitarian camp that generally tries to follow the chantry law. She always abided by the rule that magic should serve man in ethical ways, but also considered the system to be rather old-fashioned and limiting. She wrote drafts of reform programs detailing a secure and steady transition in which the circle would gradually provide more freedoms to mages, eventually letting mages govern themselves with as little chantry supervision as possible. When the mage rebellion started and fraternities split into two sides, Lorraine begrudgingly sided with the libertarians and supported the full separation from the chantry.

• Anyway, she has some serious personal issues but doesn't like letting it show and stays put. She's very focused on her work, determined and efficient, and is self aware enough to not take herself too seriously, so while she's not talkative and prefers to keep to herself, she doesn't sulk or dwell on her traumas, and tries to be friendly and accommodating to others. Although from her perspective, that equals to just being patient enough not to tell others to go fuck themselves fifteen seconds into the conversation.

Etc etc I think i could go on but I'm yet to complete a full playthrough with her and this is already a lot so maybe I'll yap about Lori more sometime later 🙈

[wonwhilebeingyoung]

Kyoto Jujutsu High School Headcanons based on the interview with Gege Akutami:

Potential traitors and their reasons to side with Kenjaku (Putting aside Mechamaru, obviously… and thee Aoi Todo, gege said himself he will never do it, respect my man Todo!)

TW: MAJOR SPOILERS FOR ANIME ONLYs, don’t read this if you don’t wanna get spoiled ‼️

LIKELY TO BECOME THE SPY/TRAITOR

NORITOSHI KAMO

Reason: Wants to be the head of the clan and get his mother to live with him so he can protect her and give her an easy life.

- I feel like he’s easy to manipulate if he hadn’t had that talk with Itadori during the baseball game. Kenjaku might make a deal about killing Noritoshi’s biological father and make him the head of the clan in a faster way. I think, he will have some second thoughts about it because his classmates/friends will be involved in the scheme but he will push those feelings for them aside and prioritize his mother. But soon, he’ll probably regret it (not his father getting killed, cause he does not gaf, but betraying his friends) when he found out his mom has another family and home where she’s happy at and doesn’t need his protection after all.

KASUMI MIWA

Reason: Lives a poor life and has two younger brothers to sustain.

- It’s gonna be hard cause Miwa my girl is too sweet and kind but… like Noritoshi, Miwa is also easy to manipulate, but will have some second thoughts… although she will hold it for longer time but i feel like she’ll finally do it out of desperation to sustain her family when she can’t rise up the ranks as a jujutsu sorcerer. I feel like her breaking point would involve about her younger brothers getting mistreated for being poor (based in the jujutsu phantom parade). The deal with kenny would come off as… get her into a high ranking position as a jujutsu sorcerer or just give her loads of cash, but yes maybe she’ll regret later on for betraying her friends.

MAI ZENIN

Reason(s): Forced to become a Jujutsu Sorcerer by her own sister & probably(?) will try to persuade her sister into quitting in jujutsu sorcery.

- I have a vision Mai has the strong potential to be a traitor because well, she was literally forced into a life she didn’t want. She was abandoned by her sister, broke the promise and not only that, she was pressured by her family that she needs to be better than Maki. I feel like she’ll side with him out of anger and pettiness towards Maki and it’ll happen if Kenny ever met Mai before she enrolled to Kyoto Jujutsu High. I know for a fact Mai didn’t deeply hate Maki, but she just felt betrayed by her cause of the broken promise. Mai still loves her sister obviously, she’s just too prideful to show it, so she acts strong into letting Maki think that she’s fine without her. Also, don’t forget, not only Maki wanted to become a sorcerer to prove her family wrong and spite them, she did it to give Mai a home where she can feel safe. What if Mai does this in reverse where she will be the one whose gonna protect Maki and make her quit into becoming a Jujutsu sorcerer, but then again, knowing half of Maki’s goal which is to become strong and spite her fam, it will likely cause conflict cause not only Mai is a spy for a curse user, Maki is gonna feel like she’s being brought down by Mai and she’s going to hate herself for making her sister go to the wrong path.

MOMO NISHIMIYA

Reason: Will do it for Mai.

- I haven’t thought about it throughly what will be Momo’s reason… but i think she will do it for Mai cause she definitely cares for her, she literally knows how Mai was mistreated by her own family and how much it affected Mai for being abandoned by her own sister. Based on the second light novel, Momo really dedicated her role as a senior and friend to her juniors. So, i think she will do it for the sake of Mai’s happiness and comfort.

YOSHINOBU GAKUGANJI

Reason(s): Eliminate Yuuji Itadori and Satoru Gojo.

- This man’s face and motives says it all. Stuck up traditionalist (yep) but had some redemption later on during Gojo vs Sukuna sure. But if it was before that, his reasons with siding with kenny is to kill Sukuna’s Vessel and Gojo Satoru. For Gojo, the old fart probably thought that Kenny in Geto’s body is still the real Geto out for revenge against Gojo (that old btch doesn’t know Geto and Gojo’s relationship i fear). He might think they’re on the same side to bring Gojo down but Kenny’s too smart not to fuck up against thee GOJO SATORU, cause that’s gonna be sukuna’s job. Of course, it’ll also be hard for Kenny cause that wasn’t part of HIS plan… he’ll probably find some way to debunk killing his son and Sukuna :3 this sounds messy but it the only reasons i could think of for this old fart.

MEI MEI

Reason: … Money, Duh.

- I put Mei Mei here cause i think she sometimes teaches in Kyoto hence her close ally with Todo or just promotes the sorcerers in general. Mei Mei is a freelance sorcerer, so no zero doubts she will do it for the cash *kaching* 💰 kenny will just pay a higher amount than Gojo and that’s it. Besides, i think she has the greatest asset to be spy, her Cursed technique duh, so yeah most likely she will do it.

UNLIKELY TO BECOME THE SPY/TRAITOR

UTAHIME IORI

Reason: I have no idea.

- YALL!! I’m sorry, I literally cannot see this woman becoming a traitor tbh, she respects herself too much and has high morals. What y’all think Gojo trusted her more than Mei Mei in finding the traitor when he could just bribe Mei Mei into doing it (i don’t ship gojohime im sorry, Utahime’s too good for him… she deserves someone better *shoko).

ARATA NITTA

Reason: I also have no idea.

- If y’all don’t remember him, he’s the blonde first year who thought Todo and Yuuji are actually related, the one who accompanied Todo to save Yuuji from Mahito, the one who got Nobara’s corpse and said to Yuuji it cannot be guaranteed that he’ll effectively heal Nobara (… ha ha, Gege when i catch you Gege). I’m sorry but this dude was introduced so late and we don’t have enough info of him? He’s just a healer who’s willing to help and has the personality and design of a butler. So yeah, idk.

Note: This sounds so messy and might be ooc to other’s point if view, but i got so shocked when Gege addded that information— so, it’s just my insights and headcanons.. i’m sorry ‼️ also, yes kenny is kenjaku’s nickname tee-hee :3

[robo-milky]

“Hey, Carrots!

No need to look so offended, I’m not here to cause any trouble, you know~. No favors to ask of either. It’s your special day, isn’t it? It is! So I came by to give you a present.

…Yeah, okay, it’s not really much, but it’s a gift nonetheless. Coupon for a special pop for the birthday girl~. You have a favorite flavor or something? I’ll try making it into a pop for you. A dozen for free! I’m real kind, I know.

Oh, and before I forgot. You know Ashi, don’t you? Poor girl couldn’t make it today, so she asked me to hand you a gift bag in her stead. Proves my trustworthiness, doesn’t it? Heh.

No need to worry, I didn’t peek at it… Hold some higher standards for me, would you?”

Niko hands over the bag. It’s a cute, pink, petite bag with cat decorations on it. It holds some resemblance to the feline holding it herself.

Grabbing what’s inside, there’s a little drawing with a note attached. It’s written with words and symbols that seem impossible to verbalize, but somehow it’s easy to imagine a certain brunette bringing life to them…

Clochey! HBD fam!~ Super bummed I couldn’t make it, but I hope this prezzie has enough of my energy baked into it that it feels like I’m there! LMK ASAP ☆

I wanted to send you a cute lil’ message ‘cuz I’m real thankful for us being friends, YK? Even tho we aren’t super buddy buddy, I still totally enjoy your company. Eppy tells me enough about you that it basically feels like I’m hanging with you myself!

Anyway~ I wanted to gift smth more personalized for you, so I drew up a little drawing! It’s kinda like a postcard, but I tried putting one of your fave things on it ♡ I hope you enjoy!~

We should SO get talkin’ again soonsies! Wishin you a happy birthday and many more with a certain huntsman <3

Sincerely, Ashi ♪

Cloche hears a chuckle after she’s done reading the note.

“Wow, Carrots, your face is a little red… Wonder what Ashi stirred up for you to get you, the cold clawed kitty to get lookin’ like that. Well, privacy is privacy. Guess that’s my cue to leave.

Here’s hoping you catch a break from all the trouble around campus, hm? Enjoy your day~.”

HAPPY BDAY CHRIS!!!!!!! I HOPE YOUR DAY AND WEEK AND TBH MONTH IS SO BANGER. ITS SO DESERVED!!!!!!! 🫶 it’s been SO nice being your moot for like?? WHAT??? TWO YEARS OR SMTH??? TIME IS SO CRAZY. it’s been such a treat being able to interact n talk w you since the beginning!!! I GET SUPER HAPPY WHENEVER I SEE YOU IN MY NOTIFS <333 HBD again and I hope life treats you well!!!!! 🙏 blessing your pulls and turning them into pomepulls……….. tehepero

[Cloche’ Birthday Bash] *them referring to our dear freshmen

Okay first of all… ASHIIIIIII YOU’RE GONNA KILL ME I SWEAR !!! THE FACT THAT YOU SENT THIS SO EARLY??!?! THE INTERACTION IS EVERYTHING! I JUST LOVE HOW THIS PLAYS OUT SO NATURALLY- Fr, Niko just waltzing into Ramshackle then dipping- aND THE GORGEOUS GORGEOUS ROOKLOCHE ART- LITERALLY SCREAMING OVER THE POSE AND DETAILS- YOU SERIOUSLY OUT DID YOURSELF FOR THIS ONE! Rook carrying her and Cloche grabbing on to him to get closer- SAVANACLAW ROOK MY BELOVED- Muscle man frrrr- Ashi really caught on to the cat maid’s staring during Chapter 7 huh. AND THE DOODLES ON RHE SIDES ARE TOO CUTE- 😩

Epel yapping on about Cloche and totally not suspiciously asking Ashi about her roommate- Ashi internally sweating bullets when Epel doesn’t realize that everything he describes is the cat maid making up excuses to avoid him-

Also take this… Cloche walking up to Niko days later and asking for a bone marrow pop, and it takes Niko a few seconds to realize it was a joke 😭😭 Slow burn friendship trust-

Really, it’s so wild that it’s been 2 years- So glad to have you here and to celebrate with you again !! I think you really blessed my pome pulls with this one- seriously- man came on the 30th pull twice- Ilyyyyy If makes me super happy to see you in my notifs as well and may we continue to interact in the future!

[incorrigible-groupie]

No wonder why Fourteen is the reincarnation that needs to heal, that needs to stop, that needs to retire… considering everything that happened to Thirteen.

Every reincarnation had their hard moments, but I feel like Thirteen really went through A LOT.

After all :

she fell from her TARDIS just after she regenerate

she had to fight evil while still regenerating, a thing the Doctor rarely did with new people around

she had to make her sonic screwdriver herself

she lost her TARDIS (almost twice)

she made a friend she can never see again or it would destroy the universe

she had to face the consequences of her mercy

she learnt that the one who once was her friend is back

also yes, Gallifrey is destroyed

also also, she discovered she had other regenerations but zero memories about it

also also also, she learnt that she wasn’t from the dimension she had always known

she was so knock-out by this new that she didn’t try to escape from prison

she spent A FEW DECADES in prison

surrounded by some of her worst enemies

while trying to find more about her past, the Flux was coming

she learnt that she was the reason the Flux was created

until she ended the Flux, she didn’t take a break

she was splint in three

one of herself was tortured physically and mentally, mind and body destroyed and reborn over and over again

she had to see the erasure of multiple planets and species

everything she knew about time were lies

while struggling with her feelings towards a human she knew she couldn’t grow with, some of her ex-companions reappeared

she had been forced regenerated

while trying to free one of the great mysteries of the universe, her nemesis used it to wound her fatally

she regenerated alone, not wanting Yaz to be the new Rose, or Clara

I loved how caring, dynamic, curious and positive this incarnation was, despite the fact that she had no idea Who she was herself. It showed a vulnerability in the Doctor that we don’t often see and her lack of hubris was refreshing (considering it was the thing I hated the most about Ten).

Even if those seasons had many, many inconsistencies, unclear timelines and strange ideas, I loved her era and how Russel T Davies showed her trauma through Fourteen’s eyes, proving that this was the last straw that broke the Doctor in two (hehe) and how much he needed to rest. It was an astounding performance by David Tennant who didn’t act like Ten but indeed like Fourteen, it was positively insane.

However, I’m also really scared that Russel just throws away everything else that happened to Thirteen. Especially the good. Fourteen does have a family now, but he better not forgets his « fam ». He better not forgets he was a brilliant woman. Perhaps the strongest doctor.

[pink-strawberry-kissess]

sending in my first ask woot woot 🥳

okok so since rereading your aeon pregnancy au fic i can't help but think about the twins all grown up living their best lives with the coolest aeon parents until we get to their preteen/teenage years.

annnnnnnd i leave you with this ask: do you have any hcs about soft twin going through a little rebellious phase when she's older??? 👀

(yes yes this ask is for soft twin porque ella es preciosa, and we need more hcs for soft twin!!!)

idk why but i keep leaning towards soft twin acting out after her classmates made her feel a certain way for not being ‘cool enough’ like her sis. maybe soft twin isn't used to hearing those comments about her when she's so used to being praised as a good kid compared to her sis (not that she would ever listen to those praises or agree w/anyone who talks bad about her fam >:(

and now that she’s older, soft twin suddenly gets the complete opposite experience from fighty twin at school.

maybe the comments from her peers make soft twin have a mini identity crisis for being a 'goody two-shoes'? maybe she tries smth out of character partly to prove them wrong, partly to explore other sides of her personality she never really got to explore as a kid?

ANYWAYS what do you think would be soft twin's first 'rebellious act'? would fighty twin be involved somehow? how would soft twin feel after it happens? would she try smth like it again? how would Ada and Leon react to all of this???

dis for you hehe

ALSO I SWEAR YOU HAVE SENT ME ONE BEFORE but

yayayya

OMG A REREAD i should probably do that myself lol find more spelling and grammar errors i've left in there by accident sjkfbskjfksbf

YES YES I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS but since nothing is canon in my head, i just have THEORIES. AEON TWINS THEORIES.

YES THERE ISN'T ENOUGH LOVE FOR SOFT TWIN i also have wonder if people already know which is which lol

i like to think she has a small one, mostly in her early teens. probably earlier than fighty twin has a rebellious phase. but i haven't really thought about what she would fight about lol

AH YES YES i see what you mean. i do think they're both very smart. i mean they have leon and ada as their parents, you KNOW they're gonna be all types of smart. i do think that soft twin can be a lil clumsy sometimes. she's shy and quiet and just generally deemed the awkward one since she's not as open to being extroverted like fighty twin

I FEEL LIKE even if she were to rebel.. she would do it in the way that like. introverted kids do. either something extreme like a overt personality change... OR she just runs and hides.

i can see her finding herself just needing to escape. but ofc ada finds her. she doesn't make herself known right away but allows leon to talk to her. i do think that soft twin is a daddy's girl and although she loves ada. she just needs to softness of leon when she needs comfort. with ada, she does get some but sometimes she needs the lovely dovey kind. almost smothering lol

i don't see ada being overbearing or smothering her

SORRY MY THOUGHTS ARE EVERYWHERE AND IM NOT PROOFREADING THIS LOL

i can DEF SEE her chopping her hair short. i like to think that ada keeps the girls hair long since she sees it as a privilege that she never had. something something about safety but also just being allowed to be a girls girl lol. soft twin probably has a really big attachment to her long hair and ends up just chopping it all off at some point

she regrets it and spends a few years growing it back out lol

I DUNNO I HAVE ALOT OF THOUGHTS STILL

[yooooowhf]

WHY I LIKE WEN XIAO AS A CHARACTER AND NOT A LOVE INTEREST.

Wild idea here, but I feel like the reason why wen xiao felt different from most female love interests was that she wasn't meant to be a love interests to zyz (my big theory is that the show aren't supposed to have romance at all but since they need to censor they put zyz and wx together)

Her character have a nice build up and blend in with the team nicely as she doesn't drag the attention to herself unlike most found fam tropes where the romance are strong. And because initially she is not a love interests, her characterization does not build around zyz but her position and place in the team.

(My main reason for thinking this is that love interests characteristics are always pre-def8ned and condition due to the romance, and thus their personality always have a huge flaw as romance develop)

That's why, most of the important fight scene or crucial moment Wen Xiao was not heavily involved unlike zyc and ll. She wasn't meant to be part of the main role, but this is also the reason why Wen Xiao felt more real and seen as a female character that are more than just a love interests.

This can be proved in many fight scenes moment, I know that it's because she is physically weak but I think it just a cover up. Especially, the last battle fight scene at the bridge. I didn't expect that was the final battle because Wen Xiao wasn't there ( a goddess mind you). But I am also glad that they didn't put here there, didn't shove Wen xiao there for the sake of romance. It give the plot a bit more stability, she allowed zyz and zyc to grow.

That's also why the romance between zyz and wx felt a bit more sincere than other dramas, the story actually allow them to have their own individuality. Although I could be half sided since I think Zyz and zyc chemistry and relationship are more intense that wx's.

Anyways, I don't know if this make sense, just letting out my thoughts on the romance part of the drama.

[robxstar]

Hi what's your opinion on Terra after the reveal of her betrayal. After she fully swore allegiance to Slade I found her to be an evil unbearable jerk taking advantage of the Titan's hesitation to attack her while insulting them and telling Robin about not being some sad little girl waiting to be rescued seemed to come out of nowhere and all of that because of what beast boy said to her after betrayal.

Oh, do I get to expound on Terra now?

*rubs hands*

Nah fam, the bitterness and insults and manipulation didn't come out of nowhere. She was angry and lashing out at the friends who, in her mind, betrayed her. Beast Boy had promised to be her friend "no matter what" so from her POV his cold dismissal was him failing to be there for her, tossing her to the curb.

And who exactly do you think had been playing on her insecurities all that time about exactly that?

If you guessed our favorite masked manipulator ding ding ding! You win the prize.

Slade was absolutely 100% being the creepy emotionally manipulative "bad parent" to Terra. First he isolates her, preys on her fears of being alone, of having no one understand her, of being out of control. Then he offers her her greatest desire--a place to belong, a means of having agency and control over herself.

And, most importantly, he actually delivers on his promise. (For a while at least.) So now Terra has achieved this personal victory in her life thanks to Slade and he takes advantage of her relief and gratitude and starts poisoning her against the Titans before and likely during when he sent her to infiltrate them.

"I'm the only one who understands you. I'm the only one who cares about you. They aren't your friends. They will turn on you the moment they find out the truth. Their friendship is false and hollow and it won't last."

But since the Titans' friendship is genuine Terra gets so confused. She never had much of a moral compass growing up. She was told what to do and where to go, who to be, her whole life before she ran away. She had a desire and impulse to help and do good (which may or may not have been her genuine wish) but she never knew how to do that unless she was being specifically directed. That's why she falls so easily for Slade's deceptions, why he didn't have to brute force his control over her like he did Robin until the bitter end when she finally saw through him.

So when Beast Boy rejected her in "Betrayal" it just proves in her mind everything Slade had been telling her. So her loyalty to the Titans is broken and she devotes herself to mimicking and mirroring Slade. (His perfect "golden child".)

Aaaaaand that is where the insults and taking advantage of the Titans' mercy comes into play because that is classic Slade Tactics. Belittle, berate, twist every known weakness to one's advantage, throw your opponent emotionally off balance until they're reckless and you get an opening.

She's just doing exactly as he taught her.

And the line about not being a sad little girl needing rescue? Frankly that's half to convince herself. Even as she doubles down, her conscience is beginning to niggle at her and she has to shout it down and drown it out. That's what her whole opening speech in Aftershock Part Two is about, the mantra that repeats in her head as she tries to tell herself she wanted this outcome.

"I have no regrets," she lies, as she stops and looks wistfully at places where she has fond memories with the Titans.

I better stop myself before I keep on rambling and rambling but uh, in case it wasn't obvious, Terra is a narrative bone and I am a dog that keeps on gnawing and gnawing at all the amazing little fascinating juicy crunchy parts. So that's how I feel about her post-betrayal. (And pre-betrayal, frankly.)

[maddiemuu]

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻 W BERNADETTE. PLS.

HI HELLO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!!! i had a Week. putting this under a cut bc it is soo long LMAO

cw for mention of miscarriage + fatphobia/negative body image stuff + some descriptions of like. emotional abuse/shitty family dynamics. mom and dad berkshire suck real bad.

ummmm in short. itsa very bad. in long. bernadette has Many issues. here r some of her most defining ones (to me):

ok so first r her anger issues lol. bernadette is fucking MEAN which is extra bad bc she is very easily pissed off and does not rly bother controlling most of her impulses re:anger. she's fully aware of how unlikely she is to face consequences for her actions, so she can't really internally justify doing anything differently. like why bother lol.

NEXT r her wacko relationships with her siblings + by extension their horrible horrible parents. she especially has a MAJOR inferiority complex centered around her relationship w/ her younger sister beatrice. she HHHHATES beatrice, which is very funny to me bc beatrice is 16. bernadette has insane one sided beef with her despite being a full decade older. she fully views beatrice as like. the kid her parents had to spite her for not being "good enough" as a daughter which like. ok not an entirely inaccurate read on why beatrice exists. their parents should definitely not have had even one child, much less three. but here we are. bernadette blames beatrice for a lot of her mistreatment/role as the scapegoat as the family (the logic being that without beatrice around, there wouldn't be anyone around to make her look worse by comparison lol) even though that is entirely illogical + her parents DEF would have just found someone else to pit her against. bernadette is a lot closer with bentley due to a lot of diff factors, but she does still resent him a fair bit lol. they look very similar, and it especially makes her pretty upset that he doesn't get the same shit for being fat that she does. she just generally thinks he gets things pretty easy for being a man and being the oldest. he is oblivious to this 👍. bernadette also resents her parents, and has been made VERY aware she is the least favorite child, but instead of choosing to reject the inherently unfairly stacked system they have built, she's managed to convince herself that there's a chance she can earn their approval and love by just Proving how much better she is than her siblings. she is wrong about this ! on some level, she is aware she is wrong. but she's spent most of her life with that bootstrap mentality and is too afraid of what will happen if she gives it up. some fun "spoilers" related to bernadette + her fam's future: she does soooort of get a taste of being the favorite daughter (by default) again when beatrice is 20 and gets disowned for being gay (she is fine. she has her own money + a career by that point), but it's more like... she gets to be the second least favorite LOL. bernadette does also eventually get married but i have been too lazy to design her husband. maybe somedayyy. she really wanted kids and was pregnant twice but ended up miscarrying both times, and then decided she didn't ever want to try again or become a parent through other means. her marriage ends in a MEGA DIVORCE bc she and her husband can never come to an agreement about where to go from there. she never remarries but she can have one or two boytoys i think. a little treat from me to her. (one idea i've tossed around is a childhood friend/child of her parents' friends who has been singularly OBSESSED with her since they were like 12. she was his first kiss. she has forgotten this. He Has Not. she strings him along for her entertainment and he is aware of it but also totally fine with the situation) bentley on the other hand has two daughters and while he and bernadette remain somewhat close for the rest of his life (he dies first lol. in 2034 iirc? clock's a tickin bentley. better get to work on that bucket list) he is definitely (unintentionally) sort of insensitive about this.

related, she's just also generally pretty insecure at her core. the ice queen persona isn't a Lie, it's more of like. an idealized version of herself (to her at least lol). nothing can hurt her that way!!!! she's in control! she is also a major control freak which is really unfortunate bc at the end of the day she really does not control much at all <3. she's especially insecure about her body, which once again was MAJORLY exacerbated by seeing how beatrice was rewarded for being the Pretty, Thin Daughter, while she was the Ugly and Fat one. also did not help that she used to be much thinner and her family will not let her forget that.

ok i am going to cut myself off here i think bc otherwise u will be getting a whole thesis on bernadette. i love her i love talking about her. there is so much wrong with her. thank you SO much for the ask

[jenn0wow]

Kylie Estrada is the daughter of Godspeed (who she doesn’t know as she’s been raised by her mom and stepfather her whole life) and later becomes Spark after a speed force lightning bolt activates her powers.

She goes by Spark (idk pending name) and her main powers out of super speed is that she can absorb and give away energy (electricity, kinetic, human energy, speed force energy, etc.) the different types of energy she absorbs gives her different boosts and powers, but she doesn’t take energy often especially human and speed force as she knows how dangerous it is.

The flash fam/speed force heroes don’t trust her due to this power and her father so she works really hard to prove herself. Like really really hard.

Before becoming a hero she had an obsessive crush on Impulse/kid flash (ya know Bart in whatever suit he’s in) and tries hard to be normal about it (like imagine if u we’re forced to work around ur fave kpop idol or something all the time like how stressful)

[blazingstaro]

MAN you got me thinking about Eave (I love her 4 wings btw!), but all the questions I want to ask about her story probably go into spoilers territory, so instead… another free ask about her daughter and her daughter’s parents?

AAA THANK YOU! I'm glad!! Auughhh I've always loved her 4 wings. She's such a pretty lady. And hey— you never know unless you try, but sure I can tell you about her daughter and fam!

You may have guessed, as many have, but Eave's baby girl is Twyla! She's undergoing a little bit of a design update as well, but here's my latest iteration from last year:

Her father and stepmother belong to my sister, @starlightfyre! Zeelo and Amani Zeidric are her current guardians and caretakers!

Yes, that's right— she's a Zeidric, and I've hinted it from the very beginning in DotS' original Episode one! Right here was my first clue (old art jumpscare):

Second were three different hints here in Episode 2:

First set of panels— that's a very subtle one and wasn't really intended to be obvious; however that's something Zeelo's known to say often! The second panel also has Zeelo's distinct green eye color as another subtle reference. There's many instances where I used Eave or Zeelo's eye colors, or maybe both, as a hint towards her relations to the two.

Additionally, Twyla has a magic version of Zeelo's signature pistol here, her hair is styled similarly to his, as well her gloves had changed shape to emulate his style! Additionally, they're both holding a pistol with their left hand— Twyla is mirroring that poster in the background!

You can see she has her mother's cream-colored wings. She's very much the spitting image of Eave

SO YEAH— I'm revealing this here because in DotS' rewrite, this information is in the open. How she arrives in her father's care, however, will remain a surprise, hehehe!

That's just a glimpse of how deep and subtle my foreshadowing can get :3c

But some info on Twyla— her personality's had a bit of a shift because of these changes, thanks to the direct influence of her father and stepmother. She'll still have plenty of sass, but she's going to be much more brave and have much less Trauma™. Much more outgoing and confident in herself!

However she's also aware of her lineage, and as the youngest in her family, believes she has the biggest shoes to fill. She constantly strives to prove herself worthy of her family name on both sides. The challenges of being the child of not one but two famous heroes. She has her mother's legacy to uphold as well, as her only heir and survivor of their bloodline

Although— this pressure is self-afflicted. Zeelo and Amani are already proud of her as she is! They have no expectations of her beyond just being herself, and enjoying her peaceful childhood 💜

[crguang]

Omg have you heard Firefly's voiceline about Kafka??? I'm going insane. Literally insane. We've gotten more Kafka content from Firefly alone than we have in the past 10 updates I'm ctfu 😭 Wonder what she means when she says she doesn't think Kafka actually believes keeping the right distance maintains long lasting relationships even if that's what she says...

Also hope you're doing well 🫶

-🧸

I READ HER VOICE LINE. i miss kafka so much i cant believe i have to get content through firefly but im so happy we got stellaron hunters fam content regardless, their dynamics are my favourite

i also dont know what the hell she meant by that bdhdjdkgk like im so confused. kafka telling her to always keep a part of herself hidden/to never reveal yourself completely to someone in order to maintain the relationship tracks with her character and her need to always have the upper hand or an escape route. but firefly saying she doesn’t think kafka actually believes this is a bit strange because right before that she says she has difficulty approaching her and that the distance between them gets bigger every time she does. like she’s proving that kafka abides by her words so what gives her the impression that she doesn’t believe in them? it’s only her perception of kafka so i suppose it could be not entirely correct but i really want to know like omgggg GIVE ME THE ANSWERS. the only way i can see her abiding by smth she doesn’t believe in is if it benefits her? and in this case the benefit would be keeping those long lasting relationships? but at the same time it makes no sense not to believe in something that has been proven to work… it’s just very confusing because she’s clearly living by what she said but nothing’s forcing her to keep doing it if she doesnt believe her own words like😭 the word “believe” here is really fucking with me i feel like it’s the wrong one, if it was “want” it would make perfect sense

[lloyd283]

Miraculous 19/20: Chaos/ Misfortune

(Long post)

To recap, After the Miraculous S5 ending, things changed. Two new heroes joined, as well as the mysterious Lloyd, and they faced akumatisations whilst Lloyd dealt with a shadow from his past. When zoe was uncomfortable on Halloween, a strange bag released a smoke that transformed her into an acolyte of fear, whilst Lloyd was forced into nemesis form, a form gained when he first fount out his lineage and wider powers. Wrath revealed himself and possessed 4 others with a goal in mind. To try and stop him, a mirror legend possessed juleka to give the power to stand against him whilst cerise began to panic. Then, Billy butcher arrived to break bad news to a new hero and zoe and chloe learned the truth of the elites of paris: chloe was the only real one: or that would've been if zoe wasn't saved with zero blood, something she wants to prove to herself and not telling adrien, who's certain he's real. Then, brooklynn arrived, believing Lloyd's recent state has darker threats in store, going to rio to help stop a plan with forced loser labor exacation of an ancient war through tablets. Elsewhere, Lloyd's mind is preyed by wrath, wanting to possess him for reasons still unknown, and brooklynn rejoins her fam and help. Angor rot, an assassin gave his life to try and hinder a more dangerous wrath, and cerise hides a secret that wants to spill out. After rio, marinette was force arrested at the airport on orders of a corrupt officer who wanted marinette for unspeakable actions, when wrath appeared to give marinette a choice and kill the officer. Accepting the offer out of traumas, marinette becomes the last acolyte. Wrath needs her to complete the charge whilst he searches for the wrathblade that carmen sandiego stole on O.A. orders. As our heroes rush off the plane, paths begin to merge as wrath begins the final pieces pre plan.....

Everyone's off the plane. Brooklynn gets juleka to find norma khan to give her angor's last act: a way to stop her seizures since her wrath encounter. Our group from rio preceed to rush to the police area and are horrified to see what looks like a crime scene without showing it to the viewer whilst Adrien catches a changed marinette with wrath, when he sees him but doesn't attack but rather leaves. Sabrina calls her father to put paris on high alert. Wrath tells marinette that he needs her to cause chaos whilst he finds his wrathblade, in which we see a group of other acolytes entering the paris security mainframe with early 1900s trickery, a saw used only for lock cutting as well as trickery. He recieves word: The louvre has it.

The team has to split to deal with wrath. Even cerise decides wrath's going too far and decides to anti akuma wrath, but she looks on in horror as he grabs the akuma and doesn't lose his powers. Turning to face cerise, wrath Taunts her through silently answering her panic with a shhhhh and entrapping the akuma in an pocket watch. He says lila's bracelets have powerful dark magic in them, but bear no strings on him. Meanwhile, two acolytes find and kidnap chlow who's in a mix of queen mayor and casual outfit. Shortly after, wrath and Misfortune (her acolyte name) arrive at the louvre and cause everyone to evacuate, which our heroes see as they enter.

Upon entry, darius is shrouded in black smoke as wrath wants to taunt him by talking how much he doesn't know of Lloyd and his strings cast on the group. Darius remains positive, so he tells him that he knows brooklynn's last name as it got shredded at the orphanage, and she was so alone and miserable. Finally, he drops, sobbing, and sammy sits with him to help him. To cause panic, he smokes dino bones into a similar nightmare: indominous rex, deeming Scorpios rex too liable as he cracks the wrathblade display case. Nath and kenji preceed to deal with the t rex as zoe tries to attack wrath, resulting in a taunt, which he admits he knew about the secret in episode 18 and her pursuit of a better chloe. To break her heart, he says chloe won't change and has to pay a terrible price to be redeemed for her actions. Suddenly, carmen sandiego and jade armor (L.J) swoop in to hold him whilst brooklynn goes into the smoke. Wrath says she was given back her hand by the will of an old god. He hoped the nublar six would live peacefully, but realises Lloyd made a detective more powerful and points at a WW2 display of red wolfe's weapon saying he never willingly drafted in, but the world made him act. The ungrateful world that never knows what he did, or he killed Hitler, not himself. Unlike others, wrath left brooklynn Lloyd's copy of her jacket and his kitsune miraculous, saying if he's correct, she's a claim to it. He flings jade and carmen which makes claire nuñez portal in and carmen to fight him. The dino disappates after adrien cataclysms it, landing him whispers of the fact marinette killed his father and the rings are his partial strings: one of his finest saves of life at birth. Devastated, he doesn't realise the pilot from camp cretaceous s3 ep9/10 surprising him and holding him hostage. Wrath's fight ends with nuñez knocked out and Carmen's hat destroyed by the smoke, joking the smoke can turn normal people into zombies. He wants confirmation of the real wrathblade, or he'll smoke adrien. She has to confirm the real one's below the display and after taking it, orders adrien released and gives Misfortune more power to deal with the miraculous. Alya becomes scararouge to allow a retreat as wrath leaves and something in brooklynn's head makes sense. In the hotel cellar, chloe wakes in front of a man called john by a water balloon...

After the encounter with wrath, lila calls someone saying she needs assistance for the price of the miraculous. The person agrees and she stands back, allowing wrath to do his damage. Misfortune's causing chaos around paris and our heroes are stretched thin, thinking of a game plan when zoe gets a feeling chloe's missing. John berates chloe for being a bossy brat who enjoys the misery of others, the elite life with pride and an ego chaser before ending with calling her cowardly. He wants to help, but it'll shock her the method used. He mentions wrath does fear humiliation, tricks and always getting involved and shuts her down when comparing the two of them, as they're not the same. Just share dislikes. Wrath saved him from an impaled metal spike to man twisted games but says to chloe that she won't be harmed or maimed. Orders from wrath himself.

Meanwhile, Lloyd encounters wrath in his norrisville lab and wrath tells him his brightish clothing needs to change darker, to change into black fully. Wrath then has a dream as a tourist in a crowd and a phone with December 22nd 2015 before the glare causes him to wake up.

Whilst the rest face Misfortune, zoe, marc and Ben go searching for chloe. After her encounter, brooklynn ties the spare jacket around her waist and puts on the kitsune miraculous which is sleeping peacefully as Lloyd channeled it to repair her arm, and decides to go to juleka and an awaking norma khan. Wrath now views 1119 from the trees as morgana loses a hand and scaring the arcane order to wait on their actions they take. Kenji believes and proves the louvre copy was realistic as scratch marks remain on the walls and floors, as darius still handles how brooklynn could be happy with a miserable upbringing and why she's putting herself in harm's way with wrath. If he could materialise a dino, kenji does make a connection of the pilot's sudden disappearance in the crash on nublar and the "strings pulled". Meanwhile the heroes inact a plan to free marinette and after setting a trap and having a heart to heart, marinette is freed, but the sixth charge has been charged fully. They return to base with marinette snug in cat noirs arms, unaware he knows she killed Gabriel aggreste. Norma khan and claire join them, and norma thanks angor for freeing her and saying the blinds are being pulled back on her dream memory.

Zoe, marc and Ben find chloe in a shock trap, sending shocks every so often and note a damp floor as chloe asks if zoe's here. She replies as she catches john leaving and gives chase whilst marc tries to divert the shocks, receiving them too in some weird fashion from the wiring. Ben's booted up brooklynn's unboxing electricity and how to solve this particular current problem, and he succeeds after sweaty palms and silent panic. Following this, Ben says he's hugging bumpy tight whilst chloe tells marc that wrath's more than what they know of. Zoe catches john who's wearing a black dyed acu vest and a non attacking stance whilst juleka and mary converse that they're running out of time. John tells zoe about a tale:

An old god went to see scientists play god with dangerous results. He knew because his younger found the science in a lab. Then, he'd take action whilst the young one naps. Zoe asks what that means to which he says Wrath saw the indominous rex and in league with brooklynn as he whispers a damning secret in her ear before leaving. Speaking of brooklynn, she arrives at juleka and Mary's panic talk saying she knows what's happening, scaring the pair. The others return to base as zoe orders everyone to pay attention: she knows who wrath is.

Zoe talks of the pieces of the puzzle whilst brooklynn speaks from experience and behaviour deduction.

"Predictable, Chaotic but calm."

Marc points out the glowing bag and sewer as zoe links it to the universal icon lantern.

"Bought a raptor back. A kids tale, but rather now a show of strength."

As everyone grows shocked, Zoe explains how he's a good man, but this doesn't add up. However, it seems it's true.

"Stories and myths. A close friend. My orphanage sunshine."

Zoe reveals who wrath is: Lloyd. The room murmurs before turning silent.

"5000 years. It doesn't make sense. Lloyd's 16. Or is he my age? WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON?!"

a rift opens to the trio, as the foundation steps out:

"It means wrath's an old god, and he's trying to stop a war. By any means. Come with us, please."

[awakefor48hours]

There's always been something about this moment between Eda and Amity that just felt a bit off and I never understood why until just now.

Amity is calm.

Throughout Eclipse Lake, Amity was anxious and stressed out not just because Luz was sick but because Hunter convinced her that Luz was threatening a break up. At the end, Amity has this realization that Luz would never threaten her.

It's also the fact that it took this long for Amity to say something that's really comforting.

Just in Escaping Expulsion alone, when Amity started to slip just a bit, Odalia got the Hextrio banned from Hexside and forced Amity to take extra classes and do extra homework. It was so much extra work that Amity was literally tripping over herself to keep up. With just one minor mistake, Odalia would turn Amity's world upside down.

But in this situation, Eda didn't give her any grief. Amity losing the key didn't cause any rifts or in their relationship or even anger Eda in the slightest. When everything was said and done, Eda just took her back to the Owl House, no questions asked. Eda values Amity's safety and life.

When it comes to the Owl House, Amity is valued even when she makes mistakes. She tried her hardest and because of that, she got tackled hugged by her awesome girlfriend and a congratulations by Eda.

Amity doesn't need to prove herself to the owl fam, she can just be a 14 year old girl.

[hummingbird-games]

Postmortem: #CrushedVN Edition

Okie doke y'all! It's been some time so I guess we're good to dissect this project!

(I almost didn't bother with writing this up, but at the end of the day I do the dev diaries and the random--game development related--posts for me to look back on and prove I'm learning. Getting better. Not regressing. So. Might as well move forward!)

Background/Inspiration

It's like if you took my late 2022 brain and threw it into a blender!! Most of these are self-explanatory (Boys Love media I adore with emphasis on early to late teen experiences.) Let me draw your attention to The Edge Of Seventeen: not sure how many times I've rewatched, but it makes me tear up every single time. Main character Nadine is awkward AF, still hasn't come to terms with the death of her father years prior, isn't on the best terms with her mom or her older brother, and even ends up on rocky terms with her best friend too!! Anyway, that feeling of being young, and a little angry and a little sad and not feeling quite right on the inside but eventually reaching a place where things fiiiiiinally start to work out...it's just a sliver of what I wanted to capture and infuse into Crushed.

Listen y'all, I just pulled and pulled and pulled from real life experiences. I was inspired by authors Julian Winters, Leah Johnson, and Jay Coles' works (all Young Adult authors LOL! Fitting since I seem to be creating things for the teens at this juncture in my life). This all provided the base for Corey and his inner world. Also, I've been wanting to create a bookworm character...no time like the present right???

As for deciding to specifically create a boys' love visual novel of all things?? First, y'all must understand that I fought the original idea and anything related to it. This was coming off the heels of me suddenly seeing (another) wave of players throwing fits about indie games forcing you to play as a femme character. First off, no one is forcing you to do anything. Secondly, we are still at a point in video games where the majority of characters you play as are male. Forgive some of us for wanting a little variety 😑Thirdly, for those looking for games where there's even more inclusivity (choosing pronouns, playing as nonbinary/trans, and etc) I really wish that players would seek out those games that ARE being made and support them so the developers don't lose steam and drop their projects. It's so disheartening to make something that's meant to be consumed and BOOM, silence.

Anyway, all of that to say that as a developer herself who's tired of watching girls' media be regulated as Less Than, made fun of, and just overall disrespected, I wasn't interested in making any games that didn't center a female character. But back to my main point!!!

I had Heartstopper, the webtoon, infecting my brain. I was so not immune to falling in love with Nick and Charlie like everybody else. But then I was hit for the 34573847th time that I was engaging with white queer media. And I knew that if Nick and Charlie were Black Brits, they wouldn't be getting half the attention they are now. Even less if the boys were girls and we had a sapphic relationship on our hands. (But that sapphic story from Hummingbird Games is still brewing, and Corey and Jacob's story was ready first.)

Also....the biphobia is real. It's insidious. I could write a whole book about how the straights and the gays need to get their shit together. I could then write a sequel about how the Black community can be some of the worst offenders when it comes to our Bi Fam and say some of the most ignorant and devastating things. But I had limited time on my hands and decided to write a short VN instead. Once I let Corey just be, exist as the person he is, everything fell into place.

Things That Went Right...

I took a very niche, very Specific To Me, very nestled in the space between my heart and my brain and wrote a script just so I could be a part of a game jam specifically highlighting and supporting the work of Black game developers.

And I submitted the bitch on time.

I'm always down for anxiety rep!!! As a fellow anxiety haver, I say the more visibility the better!!! At the same time, it's not a one size fits all, and there were some things I dealt with that I'd never seen depicted and I figured I might as well be true to my experiences. Maybe someone would take solace in Corey the way I've taken solace in other characters for reflecting my lived experiences.

I tried new things I was scared of or didn't have time for with HSD or didn't feel confident enough to sit and learn previously: partial voice acting (and holding auditions to incorporate more), a text message system (which wasn't my own but part of learning to code for me means being able to take what others have done and replicate and/or use it myself), and implementing music and sound effects with intention. I've done it with film, but games are a close cousin in a lot of ways. A LOT of ways. I should remember that.

I still didn't do too well in the marketing department but for this game, it didn't feel like a failure. I also didn't really try. Oops. I've got to do better. I went into Crushed knowing it wouldn't have half the audience HSD does, and yet the feedback I've received for Crushed has made me want to break down into tears of relief.

I launched the game around 10 something at night my time and proceeded to be sick with anxiety for about 3 days. For three whole days I legit felt like I was going to die. And then I wanted to laugh because didn't I just make a game to express a version of the human condition?

Things That Were Different...

HSD showed off my skills when it comes to intensive planning and sticking mostly to that plan. Crushed was a jam entry that became more extensive over time and found me flying off the seat of my pants.

I also had less (aha, zero???) budget this time around. Because again. Jam entry. It wasn't supposed to be a Big Affair. But now that it's over and out to you guys, I'm not mad. You could say that it all worked out.

If I Could Go Back, I Would...

For one, I would have smacked the voice in my head that said "let's add more voice acting now". I love the feature, but there's no reason why I couldn't have done auditions after release. I was impatient and restless waiting for art assets, and my idleness led me to take on more things just to not feel useless. I Have Learned My Lesson, thanks.

I Had The Pleasure of Learning...

There will always be an obstacle in the way of game development. (And sometimes your body will be your own worst enemy, yuck.)

I don't know who my audience is (yet) for HBG but I'm always a part of it. And that's not a bad thing. If I hadn't felt so strongly about Crushed or even HSD, neither project would have happened because I would have given up a long time ago.

To the Future...

Empasis on future, but the world of Crushed isn't exhausted. It lives in the bigger universe of HSD:JY but took on a life of its own. So it's no surprise that Corey and his friends became even more precious to me. Not that I know when I'll be able to work on it, but right after finishing and publishing the demo, I outlined a rough draft for a kinetic novel sequel told through Jacob's POV. In my head, Corey's story was always half of a whole, and busting out Jacob's outline so quickly confirmed that.

(What I didn't anticipate was how loved Oke and Keegan would be, or that there would be a want for their story outside of myself??? Between us and this postmortem, I hope to sort out their deal and get the satisfaction of seeing another type of love story/dynamic I can't get enough of and share it!)

Closing Thoughts

The comments I've gotten concerning Crushed and noting the appreciation for its slice-of-life/grounded-ness is reassuring! Maybe I'll branch out to other genres, but realism will be something I always come back to. Also, making Crushed wasn't too traumatic soooooo that means I'm still making games LOL! Can't get rid of me yet!

- Gemini 💛

(some links of other posts where I went on tangents concerning the creation of Crushed; these can also be found by searching the tag "crushed vn"!)

Music Inspo and Crushed

Memes Tag Game

Game Dev Commentary: Bonus Content