#providence homes
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providencedred ¡ 6 days ago
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Providence Homes in Indiana: Discover Creekwood Crossing for Quality Living
Providence Homes in Indiana brings quality, style, and community-focused living to Creekwood Crossing. Located in a desirable area, Creekwood Crossing offers thoughtfully designed homes that combine modern amenities with timeless craftsmanship. As one of Indiana’s leading home developers, Providence Real Estate Development is dedicated to providing spaces that reflect quality and comfort, making it easier than ever to find a place you’ll love to call home.
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Why Choose Providence Homes at Creekwood Crossing in Indiana?
Thoughtfully Designed Homes Each home at Creekwood Crossing is crafted with attention to detail and high standards of quality. From spacious layouts to high-end finishes, Providence Homes in Indiana prioritize design and comfort for an unparalleled living experience.
Range of Customizable Options We understand that every family is unique, which is why we offer a range of floor plans and customization options. Whether you’re looking for a cozy starter home or a spacious family residence, Creekwood Crossing has options to fit your needs and lifestyle.
Ideal Location in Indiana Situated in an accessible and family-friendly area, Creekwood Crossing provides convenient access to top-rated schools, shopping, dining, and recreational amenities. Living at Creekwood Crossing means being part of a vibrant community while enjoying the peace of suburban life.
Energy-Efficient and Sustainable Features Providence Homes in Indiana includes energy-efficient appliances, sustainable materials, and eco-friendly building practices in all homes. Our commitment to sustainability ensures that you can enjoy a comfortable home while minimizing your environmental impact.
A Community-Oriented Lifestyle Creekwood Crossing is more than just a place to live—it’s a community where neighbors connect, children play, and families grow. From common areas to nearby parks, the neighborhood is designed to foster a sense of community and provide residents with a welcoming, inclusive environment.
Explore Providence Homes in Indiana at Creekwood Crossing
Discover the perfect balance of quality, style, and convenience with Providence Homes in Indiana at Creekwood Crossing. We invite you to explore our range of home designs and experience the Providence difference. Contact us today to learn more about available homes, schedule a tour, or discuss how we can make your vision for your new home a reality in Creekwood Crossing.
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providenceredhomes ¡ 1 year ago
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zoe-oneesama ¡ 4 months ago
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“Therapy is for broken people, and our Adrien is PERFECT!” Aside from the inherent nastiness and problems of BOTH of the independent clauses in that sentence, considering how much Emilie is concerned with her public image as well as her image among the people in her Inner Circle, I wonder how it’ll affect her as she continues to drop little nuggets like that when she starts being seen as (and ESPECIALLY treated as) if not a Boy Mom or an Ableist Mom, at the very least an Innocently Insensitive Mom minus the coddling attitude someone like her would hope “naturally” comes with that title.
I mean, if OG, Canon Emilie went so far as to give herself Magic Wasting Disease by using a broken Miraculous to invent the Perfect™️ Obedient Prodigy Child that Literally Cannot Disobey and Has No "Flaws" instead of, you know...adoption...
I definitely see her as the kind of person who can't handle a "broken" child that might, idk, need some help?
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ew-selfish-art ¡ 1 year ago
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Dp x Dc AU: Jazz Fenton, after years of fixing her brother’s injuries, becomes a Doctor with an inclination towards behavioral health and psychology- In order to make the difference she wants to see in the world she joins Dr. Leslie Thompkin’s practice. 
Jazz Fenton, M.D. has spent years of her life doing research, doing the hard work and the emotional labor, and finally, finally, she’s joining a practice she can feel 100% confident in. She’s goddamn good doctor and she wants to make the biggest impact that she can. 
Dr. Thompkins (who insists that she call her Leslie as they’re colleagues now), is a kind woman, sharp as a tack and keeps her practice open at odd hours to help the most unfortunate. It took some time for them to bond and trust to be built, but now Jazz is being allotted a few night shifts here and there. 
It’s incredible. Jazz gets to spend time with the kids who come in and really talk to them (in addition to getting them antibiotics, heating pads and pokemon themed bandaids) to help equip them with a few coping skills. Her passion for psychology never disappeared after all, but the expansive knowledge of how to heal the human body has made her find a sense of fulfillment like no other.
Having proven herself and worn Leslie down, Jazz now takes up about 1/3 of all the night shifts in the month. She’s hoping to get to 50/50 by the end of the year but she’s content with what she has. Danny keeps odd hours anyway so calling him after work on her walk home can happen any time of day and he will always answer enthusiastically. 
It’s a particularly busy night before he comes in. The Red Hood. 
He was known for being an ally to Leslie, despite being on contentious terms with the Bats, but Jazz had never asked directly. Never one to turn away a patient with bullet hole wounds, she hops into action to get his wounds cleaned, sewed up and gauze wrapped. She’s handing him a sheet (an Infographic! Dani made it with her! Graphic design is her passion!) on how to care for his wounds when he first seems to recognize that she’s not Leslie. 
“No, Of course not. I’m Dr. Fenton. I can’t blame you for not remembering but I did introduce myself as you bled in the entry way. You’re Red Hood, right?” 
“Hm. Didn’t realize the practice was expanding. Where can I find-” He grumbles before pushing her hand aside from where she had still been supporting his shoulder.
“Hold on there, mister. You’re going home, you’re following this infographic and you’re going to get some sleep.” 
“Lady you don’t know-” His voice modulated ton came across antagonistically. As if he was trying to intimidate her. Ha, Jazz rolls her eyes at the inclination.
“Who I’m talking to? Who I’m dealing with? You’re hilarious. I can eat you vigilante’s hero complexes for breakfast. Tell me who I’m calling to pick you up and then you can say thank you.” Jazz snaps at him. It really had been a long night but his whole dialogue thus far is making her a bit batty. 
“Oh really Doc? You know Leslie’s tough shit, and from what I can tell you’ve got nothing on her-” 
“Trying to make me feel insufficient when I just saved your life? That’s cute. I’m sure a lifetime of abandonment by both of your parental figures gave you that. I’m also sure that you inherited this desire to prove you’re not going to be dependent on anyone who wants to help from whoever got you dressing up in tights to fight crime in the first place. Again, I’d love to talk at length about how predictable you-” 
“Bwah- wait- I’m Predictable? You’re probably some nepobaby who had parents who told her she could have the world-” But Jazz cuts him off with hysterical laughter- he couldn’t be further from the truth. Her parents loved her, but nepotism? With what, the ghosts? If anything she got that from Danny, but he doesn’t need to know about her ghostly titles. 
“You’re just some guy who came back from the dead and made his trauma everyone else’s issue. So shut it. And tell me how I’m getting you home from this clinic.” She seethes though her voice stays devastatingly level with each word. 
Speechless for a moment, he eventually relents to Jazz that he’s already called for help on the comms but it will be hours before they can come for a pick up. The sun had already come up and the night had been over for most of them before Hood had walked into trouble. She groans and the realizes the time for herself and the empty clinic around them.
“Fine. My shift just ended anyway. I’ll get you home in one piece and I swear to all the ancients that you’d better follow the directions on the infographic.” 
And that’s how Jazz ended up calling her brother while supporting the weight of a grown ass man (who no longer wanted to talk to her) on her walk home. 
The next time Red Hood appears in her clinic, he’s brought a dozen roses in addition to the cut on his neck that definitely needs to be pressurized like ASAP. Did he stop for the flowers on his way to the clinic? He’s going to pass out from blood loss! She doesn’t even like roses!
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iridescentmirrorsgenshin ¡ 6 months ago
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The improvement in alhaitham and kaveh’s relationship post-parade of providence is TANGIBLE!!! I’ll talk about things of note from cyno's story quest 2 before posting my deep diving into what this all means for them <3
Firstly, kaveh’s appearance in the tavern being to pick up his order of wine, only to show his parting from the traveller, to ask lambad whether his order includes ‘the coffee beans’ – which is a direct reference to his 2023 bday letter in which he and alhaitham test coffee beans together for his birthday, and now, canonically, this can be observed as a common practice for the two of them – this is symbolic of domesticity, as the two only do this outside of the player’s sight, confined to the privacy of their home.
Alhaitham’s introduction within this quest is waking the traveller up (to which they ignore haikaveh and honestly, valid) due to their discovery of the temple of silence – and I think this is a little self-indulgent on my part, but I think it’s Interesting that tighnari mentions that the tent paimon picks is prone to being stumbled into by ‘sleepwalking fungi’, which prompts cyno to encourage the traveller to safeguard their tent with a weapon. Paimon comments on the improbability they will be attacked or woken up by uninvited guests, and lo and behold, haikaveh turn up – implying they are the sleepwalking fungi? it’s reminiscent of alhaitham’s story quest where alhaitham questions if kaveh would devolve into a fungus, to which kaveh replies he would be a fungus with empathy… if this is at all deliberate, it’s a really cute parallel!!
The completely unnecessary flashback scene in haikaveh’s house, it’s purely there to showcase the development of their relationship - there was no need to animate something that could have been exposition?
(The scene is established with alhaitham reading a book with kaveh offscreen preparing snacks and wine for the two of them, and when kaveh enters, alhaitham puts the book down and directly engages with kaveh’s conversation with a CRIMINAL smile on his face. Kaveh continues the conversation whilst sitting on the table, which shows his comfort and familiarity within the house? With alhaitham? This is also heightened when he leans back on the table during the conversation. Alhaitham is shown thinking about the case and kaveh offers to draw the emblem on the paper of the extortion letter – when kaveh turns his back to do so, their conversation is halted, and only then does alhaitham bring out the book again, but there is a deliberate still on his face as he looks UP from his book to look at kaveh sketching? There was no need for this.!!.>!!!
When kaveh returns to show alhaitham the sketch, the book is gone again, and the previous distance between them is closed – kaveh sits on the table in front of alhaitham, and this creates an intimacy as the two directly face each other. this couldn’t have been established solely by sitting next to each other on the divan. Alhaitham smiles at the sketch and notes that he recognises it, to which kaveh smiles(!!!) at and questions this. Alhaitham recognises the ARCHITECTURAL signets within the symbol, which not only relates back to their joint thesis but also their character concepts as mirrors, as alhaitham appropriates kaveh’s architecture, and kaveh has appropriated alhaitham’s language – which suggests a balance between the two.)
Alhaitham and kaveh working together to identify the emblem to be that of the temple of silence acts as the catalyst for the chain of events within the story quest
Kaveh quipping at alhaitham keeping the salary of the acting grand sage – but with no animosity behind it!??? his last expression during this dialogue honestly looks exasperated but in a fond way…. Im ill….
Alhaitham and kaveh looking at each other when discussing how the case doesn’t make sense… just alhaitham and kaveh looking at each other and deliberating over the other’s thoughts… finally… listening to each other and working together…
The additional (HIDDEN) scene in the house of daena where they begin researching, with alhaitham commenting that he will look for texts pertaining to the temple of silence, to which kaveh says it will take too long, and then agreeing to help alhaitham, without alhaitham having to ask, which demonstrates their improved synergy. Kaveh asks alhaitham how to teach him in gaining information on the sly, to which alhaitham DOES but teases him about it at the same time, but so fondly... I would say this scene mirrors the additional scene in the archon quest, with kaveh talking to alhaitham by the bookshelves and accusing him of stirring trouble in sumeru, while alhaitham appears bitter that kaveh was in the desert during the overturning of the sages. There is a distinct shift in their relationship here – in the past, the two missed an opportunity to work together, whereas here they are voluntarily banding together (which ive discussed here)
COFFEE MENTION 2! Alhaitham mentions how he wants to drink coffee, to which kaveh laments that he wasn’t able to bring any from home. When using nahida’s skill on them, alhaitham can be seen thinking about wanting coffee,,, and then kaveh is thinking about how to get to coffee to them by using mehrak. Even their thoughts are working in tandem??? This contrasts with their individual thoughts in alhaitham’s story quest, where kaveh is thinking about how alhaitham was being vindictive towards kaveh drunkenly writing on the bulletin boards, and labelling alhaitham as having ‘terrible thoughts’, all the while alhaitham is thinking about how dusty the bookshelves are… the progress is STARTLING
When the group reconvene in the house of daena, alhaitham and kaveh have progressed their research on their own accord and based on what naphis has told them. When explaining, the two complete each other’s sentences, and this rounds off with alhaitham conjecturing that the goal of the assailant was to get cyrus to see the letter, which makes kaveh realise cyno’s motivations, and for alhaitham then to ascertain cyrus’s whereabouts. Naphis then assigns alhaitham and kaveh to be in charge of the house of daena, to which they both agree, and alhaitham… smiles? With so much pride? WE GET IT YOU’RE WORKING TOGETHER!!!! SHUT!!!
Cyno and tighnari mention TWICE how essential it is that kaveh and alhaitham worked together, with mentioning how imperative it was that kaveh spotted the emblem and that alhaitham connected it to the temple of silence, and then how alhaitham gave tighnari advice on desert cultural traditions, which aligned with kaveh’s experiences with desert tribes, which gives tighnari the idea to turn the tables on the temple of silence
Returning to the house of daena, cyno highlights that it is STRANGE that kaveh and alhaitham are working together, in that he is surprised to see them studying together? This draws further attention to the unlikeliness of the situation, and that this MEANS something in regard to their relationship!
Kaveh stressing about having to pack away their copious research materials, only for alhaitham to reassure him that there’s ‘no rush’… so gentle
Cyno and tighnari thanking alhaitham and kaveh for WORKING TOGETHER as it allowed them to find a swift and good outcome
COFFEE MENTION 3! Cyno offering to take everyone for coffee, which alhaitham agrees to, and kaveh agreeing to, although he says that because of the last few days, he’ll order something different (confirming that alhaitham has the caffeine tolerance of a tank and kaveh gets caffeine jitters thank u @ hoyo). On the table the two were studying, two trays of a pair of coffee cups and coffee brewers can be seen… the same that can be seen in their house??? Meaning they brought their domesticity to the library with them… and they also sat across from each other, which reminds me of how kaveh sat in front of alhaitham in their house, rather than next to him…
Kaveh and alhaitham sitting next to each other in the cafĂŠ <333
KAVEH CALLING THE HOUSE ‘HOME’ TO ALHAITHAM??? IN FRONT OF THEIR FRIENDS?? This is a big contrast to kaveh in a parade of providence and alhaitham’s story quest who hated to having admit such a thing. And then alhaitham AGREEING that the house is ‘HOME’, and again their thoughts align with ‘my thoughts exactly’. Alhaitham and kaveh leaving together, to the house of daena (where they met, where it ended, and where they have been shown to bond together in this quest) and then back to their shared ‘home’... oh......
from this, kaveh no longer seems defensive or reserved in front of alhaitham, and makes no notion of criticising alhaitham, offering to help alhaitham into researching, and even asking alhaitham to teach him something he deems as a useful skill which he lacks. he openly takes onboard alhaitham's views on the case and responds in kind in order to come to a resolution. he actively makes time in his day to spend with alhaitham, seen in them enjoying snacks/wine/coffee together and talking about his day. he describes the house they share as a 'home', which, for kaveh, is imperative to his character due to his loss of family (which ive posted about here)
alhaitham, similarly, is less critical of kaveh, and this is because a seemingly resolved miscommunication between them. he is receptive to, and encourages, kaveh to communicate with him when it comes to things that kaveh believes to be noteworthy, actively focussing solely on kaveh, rather than his book, when kaveh initiates conversation. he equally seems to enjoy this time spent with kaveh, as he is seen nowhere else but by kaveh's side during this story quest, wanting (kaveh's) coffee within the library which would establish a familiar and domestic setting elsewhere outside of their home. when leaving his group of friends at puspa's, saying that it's him 'done for the day', he retreats with kaveh, back to their shared 'home'
overall, alhaitham and kaveh's relationship has improved VASTLY since their first interaction in the archon quest. there seems to be an understanding between them now and this results in comfort and familiarity where they used to be miscommunication and snipes, and there appears to be a balancing of their viewpoints as they appreciate in the other what was once viewed as mirror opposites never to align, being that of language and architecture. a sense of harmony(?) balance(?) has been established here, and this is shown to be the ideal course of their reconciliation. im so weak......
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iwatcheditbegin ¡ 3 months ago
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“ not a girl’s girl” but having almost exclusively female openers since 2018 and consistently supporting their work
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sunlit-mess ¡ 5 months ago
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noticing in your vents—
is your sister okay too?
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We laugh, sure, but we both know we're not ok.
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carnivalcarriondiscarded ¡ 1 year ago
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everyone's favorite menace to society
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commodorez ¡ 8 months ago
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Have you ever encountered someone who insisted that they used Windows 96 or 97, or some other piece of software marked with a year or version number that never existed?
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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses ¡ 2 years ago
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utter bullshit that we stop growing at a certain age.
humans should grow (both taller and wider) at a continuous rate throughout our lifespans. i want to be 80 years old with the proportions of an average human being except i am the height of a multistory building. that would be so fun. that would require so much societal rearrangement. this isn't a want it's a need
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hawkeyeslaughter ¡ 5 months ago
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my three lameass husbands , yes they smoke weed <3
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iguessitsjustme ¡ 7 months ago
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The fact that Yuan was in Lili's room when Qian found the ultrasound meant that Lili asked for help from her brother to protect her boyfriend from...her brother.
And the fact that she knew that their best chance to convince Qian and make sure that he doesn't kill San Pang is to get Yuan involved. To tell Qian on their terms before he can find out for himself. Since it didn't go to well when Qian found out about their relationship and Yuan just sat there and did nothing (god bless him that's still my favorite scene). Qian was mad for a looooong time after finding out about their relationship.
Getting Yuan involved and also setting it up so Qian finds out while they're all in a relatively safe space but together while still telling him and not keeping things from him meant that Qian didn't stay angry for long. It also helped because as much as Yuan loves Qian romantically, he loves Lili as his sister. He is also protective of her but he's much more reasonable about it because he doesn't have the same family trauma that Qian has. Yuan can help smooth things over not just because Qian loves him and listens to him but because Yuan loves Lili and sees what makes her happy and wants the best for her.
This show is so good and I love the romance of it all but I just had to say something about how much I loved the siblingship between Yuan and Lili. Lili let Yuan into that home and in doing so gave herself something more than just a brother. She gave herself a friend that would help when she needed help and would love and support both her and Qian unconditionally.
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feminineenergylife ¡ 3 months ago
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Manifesting a wealthy housewife life & a happy, healthy family ✨
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serpentface ¡ 4 months ago
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HAUNTING PHOTO TAKEN SECONDS BEFORE DISASTER
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syn4k ¡ 1 year ago
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to be, or not to be (romanticization of the inevitable)
#ray's tag#keys' art#undescribed#skeletons#ok to reblog#the skeleton model that i traced for this was provided by the incredible kiku @kikunai whom you can find right here on tumblr!#so uh. This is a piece about chronic fatigue although the original idea i had for it drifted a bit as soon as I started coloring the linear#(i really enjoy shading and lighting things and got a bit carried away here but i stand by my choice because this is my favorite thing#that i've ever drawn)#anyways. i often feel especially lately with school being back in season that my bones are leaden with this sort of. weariness. theyre heav#it weighs on our mental health and energy a lot and although there's a couple of reasons we have been given for it#that doesn't remove the fact that this is still a thing that affects us in a very real way day to day although we are good at masking it.#often i come home to find that i do not have the physical mental or creative energy to work on things i really want to#especially project: nexus which i feel extra bad about even though i can't help it because i just started it so recently#it is a mild to moderate struggle to make it day to day and i just. wanted to represent this somehow#my original concept for this was a skeleton with some black goop gunk whatever leaking from its joints#but as i started adding the cracks and coloring them gold (a personal touch; kintsugi is a concept that is very dear to us)#i realized that the focus here was less on the condition itself and more on the body that it afflicts.#so i put it into a spotlight.#ironic i know since very little people acknowledge this irl or even know it exists at all but i added rim lighting. I added color gradients#I colored the lineart and made it all fancy and even added a flare for the head to get the point across that even at its core; disability i#a performance. this is not implying that disabilities are fake in fact this is the opposite of that. i wanted to show that with disabilitie#especially i think in my personal opinion the invisible ones#we are all masking at least a little bit during the vast majority of the day. humans are social creatures and it is only when we are alone#or with someone we deeply trust where we allow ourselves to be who we truly are without fear and even then that can be rare#so i wanted to show this bit of the soul in as broad a limelight as i could. idk this is a really abstract piece and i dont know if anyone#will even get it but it matters to me at least. and even though we've been largely bedridden for the past week i think that's okay#we will get it figured out. all of us. okay? okay. i love you. i fucking love you. we are going to fucking make it#(also the xes over the eyes are because i thought they looked cool they have no deeper meaning at least i think they dont#actually i think they do but i cant put it into words idk. Art is subjective assign your own meaning i'm gonna go get a shower)
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coochiequeens ¡ 1 year ago
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Doctors and nurses who are not willing to listen to their patients should be replaced
BY VICTORIA SMITH
The third time I went into labour, I was determined to avoid getting told off. With both of my previous births, I had somehow managed to get things wrong. My errors the first time: going to hospital too early, then, when I returned three hours later, “leaving it so late”. The second time: ignoring assurances that I didn’t need to come in yet, then giving birth in the car park — an event I later discovered was being used in antenatal classes as an example of women “not planning ahead”.
“My previous births have been fast,” I said, when I went into labour with my third, “so I’d like to come in now.” I was speaking to the woman at the midwife-led unit that is the only option where I live. (If you need a caesarean section, you have to be transferred to next town.) “Third babies are notoriously difficult,” was her response.
What an odd thing to say to a woman already in labour. The “notoriously” suggested it wasn’t based on any actual evidence, but rather a kind of folk wisdom. It felt as though I was being warned not to tempt fate, not to assume that this baby would just pop out. I saw myself being categorised as one of those arrogant women who presumes to know her own body, only to be taught a harsh yet much-deserved lesson. “Third babies are notoriously difficult” sounded not unlike “third-time mothers shouldn’t get above themselves”.
In fact, I have never been particularly cocky about childbirth. When I was pregnant with my first child, back in the days when the Right-wing press were still obsessed with famous women being “too posh to push”, I wondered if I might be able to get an elective caesarean myself. I did not particularly care about childbirth being a wonderful experience, or about “doing it well”. I didn’t care if the Daily Mail thought I was a joke.
What I cared about was not having a child who would face the same difficulties as my brother, who was starved of oxygen at birth. This has had serious consequences for him, and for the rest of my family. Just how serious is hard to gauge. He was born traumatised; there has never been a before to compare the after with. What there has been instead is the hazy outline of an alternative life, one that runs parallel to the one he has now. It’s a life that began with the problem being identified sooner, with him being delivered quickly, perhaps by emergency caesarean. The difference between this and his actual life comes down to something small: mere moments, mere breaths.
I was born three years after my brother, in a larger hospital, where my mother was induced and monitored carefully. There is something very strange about being the sibling who had the safe birth. It feels as though I stole it. There is a constant sense of guilt, as if my life — my independence, my choices — constitutes a form of gloating. “This is what you could have had.” Everything I do feels like something owed to my brother (do it, because he can’t) but also something taken from him (you shouldn’t have done that, because he should have done it first).
Still, my family were fortunate, insofar as my brother didn’t die. Current reports on the Nottingham maternity scandal reference 1,700 cases, with an estimated 201 mothers and babies who might have survived had they received better care. What strikes me, reading them, is the enormous gulf between the cost of a disastrous birth and the trivial, opportunistic way in which childbirth is so often politicised — with mothers themselves viewed as morally, if not practically, to blame if anything goes wrong.
As a feminist who concerns herself with how the female body is demonised, my interest in debates about birthing choices is more than personal. I have read books railing against the over-medicalisation of childbirth, aligning it with a patriarchal need to appropriate female reproductive power. I have also read books protesting the fetishisation of “natural” birth, suggesting that it infantilises women, that it implies women deserve pain. To be honest, I find both arguments persuasive and dismaying. Both are right about the way in which misogyny and professional arrogance can shift the focus away from meeting the needs of women and babies. I feel a kind of rage that we are told to pick a side.
Representations of the labouring woman are so often negative: the naïve idealist, the “birthzilla“, the birth-plan obsessive, the woman who is “too posh to push”. This latter stereotype has gone hand-in-hand with a veneration of vaginal births, and stigmatisation of caesareans, that has had sometimes disastrous consequences. Midwives at the centre of the Furness General Hospital scandal were reported to have “pursued natural birth ‘at any cost’”, referring to one another as “the musketeers”; at least 11 babies and one mother died. But their approach was sanctioned by their employer: the 2006 NHS document “Pathways to Success: a self-improvement toolkit” explicitly suggested that “maternity units applying best practice to the management of pregnancy, labour and birth will achieve a [caesarean section] rate consistently below 20% and will have aspirations to reduce that rate to 15%”. Proposed benefits to this included “a sense of pride in units”.
Responses to maternity scandals now express horror that such an anti-intervention culture ever arose — responses in the same press that denigrated women such as Victoria Beckham and Kate Winslet for not giving birth vaginally. Instead, newspapers now stoke outrage over “natural” treatments during NHS births, such as burning herbs. Women have been shamed for having caesareans, but they have also been shamed for wanting births with minimum intervention — as though they are selfish and spoilt for seeking control over such an extreme situation.
In his memoir This Is Going To Hurt, former doctor Adam Kay writes disparagingly of women who arrive at the delivery suite with birth plans:
“‘Having a birth plan’ always strikes me as akin to having a ‘what I want the weather to be’ plan or a ‘winning the lottery’ plan. Two centuries of obstetricians have found no way of predicting the course of a labour, but a certain denomination of floaty-dressed mother seems to think she can manage it easily.”
Wanting to have some control over your experience of labour — which will hurt you and could kill you or your baby — is not akin to some messianic aspiration to control the weather. And in his mockery of the woman who wants whale song and aromatherapy oils, ironically, Kay deploys the same silencing techniques that might intimidate a woman out of seeking the very interventions he so prizes. What he and others do not seem to grasp is that their arrogance is a problem, regardless of which course of action they champion. It makes women feel they can’t speak, for fear of inviting hostility at their most vulnerable moments. It’s true that none of us knows our body well enough to know how we will give birth. But, looking back, I find it utterly insane, not least given my own family history, that one of my biggest worries during labour was “please don’t let anyone get cross with me”. Then again, I don’t think that fear is unrelated to the desire to remain safe.
Birth is not a joke. It is not a place for professional dick-swinging or political one-upmanship. I cannot describe — and, as I am not my mother, cannot fully understand — the shame of feeling that you “let down” your child before they drew their first breath, that they will forever suffer because of it. You watch an entire life unfolding and that feeling is there, every single day. This is the fear of the women in labour who are characterised as either idiots mesmerised by fantasy homebirths or cold-hearted posh ladies who can’t take the pain. If things go wrong, they are the ones who will bear the consequences, reflecting every day on what might have been, if they’d only done more.
When people discuss their siblings, my mind does wander to the one I don’t have, the one who was born safely. Perhaps he would have a job he loved, or one he hated, but in any case a job. Perhaps he would have a partner. Perhaps he would have children, and I would be their aunt. Perhaps we wouldn’t get on, wouldn’t even speak, but he’d have a life of his own. I know he thinks about this too. I wonder if the professionals who presided over his birth have thought about him since.
My third labour was not, by the way, “notoriously difficult”. My third son arrived into the world safe and well. No one can say why him or me, and not my brother. Mothers may long for control over birth, for which we are mocked; but we do not have it, for which we are blamed. Politics still takes precedence over our needs, and the needs of our babies.
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