#proportion and was just lazy and trying to get out of class. that class was so fucking toxic.

[calware]

I love your young!Rose design with the braids & hair beads, it reminds me of the Black girls i knew in elementary school (2005-2011), so its deffo “period accurate” and also a delightful choice. The way you draw the human kids in general is really nice, youre really good at conveying specific features with minimal lines (like her & Mom’s nose shape). Do you have any tips for how you draw faces to make them not same-face or repetitively “white” features, especially when drawing in a less “realistic” style (i dont wanna say your style is cartoony but idk what i would call it tbh)? I took a life drawing class back in 2019 but we mostly drew the same two models or our classmates, and it was both a limited pool of features plus feels hard to translate into art that isnt attempting to be 100% realistic.

Sorry if this is rambly. Congrats on 10k. Love ur new icon, tho i miss the Horb. Do you take commissions? I think i asked this before but i forgetful af.

thank you for the ask :)!! i'm really flattered that you think i'm good at avoiding same-face syndrome because i am VERY LAZY when it comes to drawing and i could definitely be doing a better job ;^^ i'm also not the best at drawing people diversely(?), it's just something i have to get better at. there are people way more qualified than me to give advice about this... but i can try giving some tips

the first is that, like with anything, if i'm not confident that i can accurately portray something or a specific feature i will usually look up a reference. i like paying attention to things like the position of the browbone, height of the cheekbones, shape of the chin, shape of the eyes, length/width of the face, width of the nostrils, shape/position of the bridge of the nose, roundness of the cheeks, etc. when i draw characters (specifically the homestuck characters i like, because i think about them a lot) i have an idea in my head of how they look and how they differ from one another. for example i see jade with a longer diamond-shaped face while rose has a shorter heart-shaped face, so i do my best to depict that in my drawings

(idk if this illustration makes ANY SENSE bc like i said i think that i also struggle with pushing myself in regards to this and i think i still have more to learn/practice)

i think it comes down to paying attention to the proportions/types of specific facial features and adjusting them each to create a unique face

that said when it comes to stylizing what you see from photographic references, i understand that it can be tricky to simplify it. i really don't have any advice for this.... i just play around with it until it looks good while also being recognizable as the specific thing i'm trying to draw.......... so in that case i think it helps to use other people's art as a reference too! i don't really care about sticking to one "style" so i don't mind drawing in a slightly different way if i want to do something another artist is also doing. so for example if you're struggling with drawing 4c hair i recommend looking at other people's drawings of characters with 4c hair that you like and playing around with if you can incorporate their techniques into your own art.

i hope this all made sense ;^^ there are definitely a lot of tutorials out there that are way more informative than this one

also, to answer your last question, i plan to open up a few commission slots next week! (as long as i have enough time to that is)

[rui-drawsbox]

hey dude

how did you develop your art style? ive been drawing for years and I cant seem to get a handle on ANYTHING

4 almost 5 days late sorry dude you shot right into my inability to put thoughts into words properly HAHA

alright so first of all, i don't even think a style is something you need to do art. I'm a hobbyist apologist and as long those people enjoy creating it doesn't even have to look "good".

That aside i'm assuming you want to take art at least a little seriously so i'm just going to be straight forward and say that the only way is ping-pong between styles/techniques/themes and just stick with the stuff you feel more comfortable doing.

Now going into my personal experience, that's what you asked after all lolol (from now on this is just yapping so feel free to ignore it)

alr soooo im skipping my first steps into art and going into the humanoid phase. I actually started with sonic! Specifically the show Sonic X, of course i picked up mannerisms from the anime when it was time of doing comedic doodles (and cuestionable taste on fashion)

(im going thru my big inspirations so bear with me here)

2015 came and i discovered my two main inspirations for a long time: fnaf and Ed00chan! (link to her abandoned deviantart so yall can see the style of the time). As i was completely enamored by her anime-yet-cartoony style i was also hyperfixated with fnaf and those two things combined perfectly into (the infamous in the spanish side of the fnaf fandom) fnafhs! bing bang boom there it goes my personality for the next 5 years!

sprinkle a few power puff girls z too why not

anyway at that time i wanted to become a pro like ed00 so i had to understand anatomy, and my go-to channel was Bgm94! But the elders said that to broke the rules you have to understand them, so i just kind-of started doing more "realistic" bodies while maintaining the cartoony-ness i liked so much. Which to be fair, didn't last long before i got bored and jumped straight into cartoon/chibi again

also since we're entering my digital era i'm including some drawings with wild style changes since the experimentation never ends owo9

anyway that was 2018 and before! it was around 2017-18 that i dropped the general tutorials and just started experimenting on my own style/anatomy and trying to improve my skills (im ignoring my sketchbooks bc from now on they just become- well, sketchbooks, instead of doing full drawings i just doodled in classes and leaved the detail for digital stuff)

i would love to include all my 2019 folder bc i consider it was a year full of love for my silly doodles but tumblr has a limit for images HAHA. Hopefully you can see how i go trying out stuff and pick little stuff from every stage with me lolol

2020 hits and you can *see* my hyperfixation with twisted wonderland here, at least my folder is 60% twst drawings i made for my fanfic at the time LOL. Not so many style jumps here tho so let's keep going

2021 and 2022 here! at the second half of 2022 i found my oh so beloved crunchy brush and i also fell hard for Arashi Narukami, so basically my tumblr became an arashi fanpage lol

stuff at 2023 keeps pretty the same until now tbh, the only highlight would be the re-inclusion of noses bc of spiderverse 2. My style also has been pretty well maintained since i started doing commissions so i don't really do so much experimentation anymore, at least not with proportions and such.

alr so that was my journey on artstyle! Of course it's not like you're gonna guess all my process just by looking at the images so i'll say what type of stuff i feel influenced my decisions.

i'm very lazy and for a log time i just abandoned my projects if it prolonged more than a day or two, that obviously made me lean into the cel/plain shading rather than spending hours and maybe days rendering (not that i don't try rendering every now and then but i don't enjoy spending so much time in a single piece)

everyone around me always has been extremely supportive so i had the privilege of dedicating all my soul to drawing silly characters haha, i feel like since i never felt the need of comparing myself to others i could actually experiment so unapologetically with my style until i was satisfied

finding an actual brush that i like is always crucial to me tbh, even in traditional i'm pretty picky with how the ink and type of pen i'm using. Of course, i also tried multiple traditional art techniques (watercolor, acrylics, crayons, pencils, pastels, my favorite are pen+markers)

i dont like feets. that shows until today.

in general i think an artstyle is something extremely personal that every person has to shape themselves and that it can't really be a permanent thing, it's gonna fluctuate with the artist whenever they like it or not.

[vyuntspakhkite-l-darling]

Take your time, only if you want to <3

HI yeah i almost forgot about this thanks lmao

So I've been drawing for a LONG time and I've gone through a lotttt of different warm ups and practices and stuff but I'll give you the current one because I've noticed myself improving pretty quickly with it.

And before I get into this, I'm just going to point out that none of these are actual studies even though I should definitely be doing those too. All the exercises I've been doing are about learning the feeling of a body, not the structure of one. I'd definitely recommend not being lazy like me and doing some actual studies where you draw skeletons and try to make realistic replications of references and things like that.

So this site, SketchDaily Reference Site , is my favorite thing. I use it all the time, whether that be for getting inspiration by looking through all the pictures, doing the occasional actual study and trying to draw it realistically like I should do more often, and for the exercises I'm gonna show you. I encourage you to explore this and other reference sites, mess with the settings, find what works for you. Anyway, now onto what I do.

You're gonna want to get a sketchbook if you don't have one already, because these do take up a lot of space. Don't get an expensive fancy sketchbook because then you won't want to mess it up and you'll be scared of drawing bad. Drawing bad is important, let it happen.

Then I go to the full body tab. My favorite settings are gender: all, clothing: nude, pose: all, view: all, not class mode, and either 2 or 5 minutes for time depending on how focused I'm feeling that day. I put it on nude because I care more about improving how I draw figures than how I draw clothes, but if that makes you uncomfortable, obviously you don't need to do that. Just as a heads up, even if you choose the 'clothed' setting, you'll still get some images that reveal a lot, but there is a button you can hit to skip an image if that happens.

Then hit start and it'll give you an image. When you're doing this exercise, try not to worry too much. You have to let go of wanting to draw good and just focus on getting shapes on the page. My best tip would be to look for triangles in your pose. I'm a sucker for a triangle. They won't be in every pose but there are some where it's just. Perfect triangles and those are my favorite because it really helps you proportion the pose. Draw a triangle. Put a guy in it. Boom. Do this until you have a full page or two of poses. The point of this is to get them down quick and learn what shapes make a person look like a person. It's really good for developing your style because you'll learn what parts you like to exaggerate and stuff like that.

When you're done with that, end the session, and go to the body part tab. Select heads for the part, leave gender and view on all, and put this one on two minutes. Hit start and remind yourself that this is your sketchbook and nobody's gonna see this but you unless you decide. Then caricature the fuck outta those faces. Find the big shapes, the characteristics that stick out to you first, and exaggerate them as much as you can. Some of these are gonna look really bad. Some will probably make you think, 'this would get me cancelled on twitter.' That's fine, you learn from it either way. Sometimes you'll make a really good one and then the next one you make will look awful and you'll want to stop- no. Squash that little bug crawling around in your head and keeping drawing until the page is full of heads of varying qualities.

I do those two exercises 'every day,' and by that I mean i want to do them every day, but it ends up being a few times a week and that's fine. Consistency is good but not burning out is better. I'd say just do this whenever you have the time and motivation. They're quick and easy exercises that teach you about shape language, flow, and gesture. I'll put some examples of things I've drawn under the cut. There are some boobs in it, not with sexual intent but there are boobs so be warned.

this was my first day doing this exercise. I think I was trying too hard to make it look like the reference.

After a week or so I started to relax and use broader strokes and bolder shapes.

It turns out I got the same pose a few weeks apart. See how the one on the left looks stiff, while the one on the right has more relaxed shapes? Getting that nice shapely look and finding the way you like to exaggerate bodies is the point of this.

This is one from the last time I did this exercise. I really like the shapes in this one. See the triangle?

These two were from the first time I did the heads exercise. Not the best quality, but they get the message across, I think. It's just playing around with the different shapes of a person's head.

Made this one about a week ago and I'm really fond of it. This was the first one I drew this day and the rest of the page was trash but I did really like this. I think the shapes are really fun.

Here are three I did a few days ago. I'm gravitating towards a more realistic style here, idk why my hands felt like doing that that day, but whatever. Heads.

[peoplepersonoaktree]

24, 18, 15, 9, and 2 for the artist asks! (You don’t have to answer all of them if you don’t want to!)

Sorry I didn’t send this earlier

I typed all of this out and then it decided to not save so ROUND 2 AND MORE PROCRASTINATION OF CHEMISTRY WHOO

24. How do you deal with artblock?

I don’t. I let it eat me, and then one day, I’ll eventually figure out how to draw again 😃👍

18. Do you have any larger projects you’d like to pursue? Like comics, shortfilm, a series etc?

Pfftahahhhah~ funny thing abt this. Yes. I actually have a comic that I started in… July-? It’s just some silly little rise Au comic that I might never finish. And then I also… so… one day at like 2 am, my friend texted me and asked if I wanted to write a kids show with her. I said yes, like any other insane person would, so we- I’ve never taken an animation class in my life but I can kinda figure it out- but we’ve started writing out this little kid’s series that we both really want to turn into a real show even though we both can’t animate. So yeah, maybe one day.

15. Biggest artist pet peeve?

proportions. Wing sizes especially. If the thing doesn’t have big enough wings, it can’t get off the ground.

9. What are you currently trying to improve?

people. Anatomy. Animation. All three, I am not great at. I can do animal anatomy, easy peasy. Humans are- nah- absolutely not- Animation, I just- idk what I’m doing. Hopefully there’s a 2d animation class I can take somewhere-

2. 5 favourites of your own work?

spent a solid 20 mins trying to pick stuff out- a few of these are older but I still like ‘em so whatever

The three digital ones are ones that I actually really like, the two sketches- I still like, I’m just too lazy to find other things rn-

And the gray dinosaur lookin thing was actually one of the first creetchurs I made~

[guardianofscrewingup]

Lol that person in the ADHD post blocked me so I'll say it here:

If gifted kids are complaining about not having learning disabilities diagnosed sooner, saying they wish they'd failed because it would've at least been noticed earlier, this is them thinking the grass is always greener. It is categorically wrong, ostracizing, and kind of uncomfy to say the kids who failed must have gotten help. Failing doesn't always get you a diagnosis and having a diagnosis doesn't always get you appropriate help.

Pointing out that no, the grass is not greener, in this kind of discourse is very good and important because there are a lot of academic abuse problems that come with not getting diagnosed and not getting help even if people notice you struggling that people need to try understanding. A lot of academic abuse happens to these subsets.

But if you're specifically targeting "people that get online and complain about not getting help sooner," the people self-selecting into a conversation about the system failing them by saying it failed them are overwhelmingly not the ones that have wildly successful lives, great pay, upward mobility, and many opportunities.

Assuming the ones specifically vocalizing "I wish I'd failed enough for someone to notice me struggling sooner" are massively successful or even more likely to be successful because they had a few bullshit gifted classes where they did like puzzles or whatever is categorically bonkers.

The people joining the conversation with "I wish someone noticed I was struggling sooner" are largely people that did well...until they didn't. They succeeded until they failed. And then their struggling also didn't get noticed, or it got misinterpreted, and they got "you're not applying yourself" or "You're just being lazy" in many situations just like the kids who struggled sooner. Being "gifted" isn't a get out of hardship free card, for many kids it's just a reprieve before an execution, before their academic career fails and flounders, just at a slightly later time.

If those people are making stupid arguments and think failing gets you help, they need to be corrected, but if they even have skin in the game, are even participating in the discussion, ebough to complain, it's not universal but a huge portion are not the ones that got away scot free. The gifted ADHD kids that did swimmingly are not likely the overwhelming majority of ADHD kids joining the "school failed me" conversations on tunglr dot com. (That's not to say that none of the people joining that conversation did well for themselves but in a group saying "I needed help badly, much sooner" that's definitely going to be a smaller proportion of people. )

So the appropriate arguments are "failing doesn't always get you diagnosed and getting diagnosed doesn't always get you help and assuming the opposite is alienating" not "you, the people who have gotten online to lament your lack of help because you were a gifted kid, don't belong in the conversation at all because there's a greater chance you are more likely to be successful."

That's not the case when it's more often the flunk-out cases, burnouts, and people that wound up in dead end situations actually showing up to that specific conversation.

[twinkletwinkletruly]

sex and gender are different things.

sex based oppression is based on your biological sex. this is unchangeable, and you cannot identify out of it or into it (the same way a white person cannot self-id out of having white privilege). a biological male will never experience sex based oppression as we live in a global patriarchy. a biological female cannot self-id out of her sex-based oppression no matter how she dresses, acts, or looks.

gender is a social construct that is based upon patriarchal stereotypes of what is means to be a man / what it means to be a woman. gender based oppression is social - if society sees you as a woman then you are socially mistreated for failing to be feminine (i.e. a woman with unshaven legs is deemed dirty and lazy).

all cis women face both sex based and gender based oppression.

trans men who pass face sex based oppression due to their female bodies (for example, the seatbelt in a car will not be built for their skeleton or organ proportions and a crash will be much more likely to end in their death than with a biological male) but not gender based oppression as society sees them externally as male.

trans women who pass face gender based oppression as society sees them as women externally but not sex based oppression since they are still biologically male (for example, they do not have to worry about medication overdoses in hospitals because the safe dosage is based on a biological male which they still are).

trans women who do not pass face neither sex based oppression nor gender based oppression, as society sees them as male and their biological sex is male. these trans women will be treated as weird men by society, not as a woman of any sort.

sex and gender are hierarchies, not spectrums (for example, a cis homosexual woman is at the very bottom of the hierarchy because she has no sex-based gender-based nor sexuality-based privilege). if you cannot understand how patriarchy works then you shouldn't be telling women to be nice and kind to their oppressors just because those oppressors might also be the oppressed on another class axis.

I’m sorry, I’m a bit confused by what you’re trying to say, Anon. Are you telling me, that because cis men oppress cis women, cis women shouldn’t be kind to trans women?

Also, aren’t trans women who do not pass more likely to get attacked, physically or socially, to the point where it’s even affecting cis women who don’t fit the western standard of “what a woman should look like”?

[initiumseries]

If you don’t mind could you expand

Sure, so, I didn't end up watching the final season because I was so frustrated with the direction, but I'd looked up the manga and figured out that Zeke hadn't been totally honest with Eren about how Mikasa's people's *thing* works, so he thought he was trying to free her (and my biggest gripe with so much of Asian media is like, all these blown out of proportion issues and all you had to do was be honest in a neutral environment and work it out together, but instead you chose the most convoluted and inflammatory way possible to handle this, ok), and then the whole idea of how he must become the bad guy that unites everyone to destroy him and absolve Paradis is just...quite frankly, stupid, lol. But I ejected when it was revealed that Eren's dad didn't actually have any self determination in trying to free the people in the walls, and it was Eren pressing him the whole time to press himself, like nah, that's just lazy storytelling at best now and I can't get on board. I'm probably not explaining this well because it's been a while since I read the last bit of the manga and their explanation for Eren's behaviour, but given the fact that the creator is a nazi, I think there's a lot to be desired about the choices of the characters in the final act.

For fear of getting a little political (unavoidable based on the creator really), there's a certain way of storytelling imperialist nations have when dealing with stories where one nation is fighting for survival against another, even individual storylines where one is defending themselves from another. I understand why they're written this way, because they're written from the perspective of the oppressor who has a vested interest in being dishonest about how oppressed people can and should behave, but it's annoying for me as a viewer who also belongs to an oppressed class, because politically, while Paradis was hated by everyone, so was Marley, and tbh, Marley even moreso, because they'd actively been bombing the shit out of everyone for the last what, 50 or a hundred years? There were a thousand other ways for Paradis to handle Zeke, to handle the threat of Marley that didn't involve the titan version of carpet bombing civilians and then starting the rumbling. There are messages throughout the show that I see a lot in media, like when Armin says they have to become the people they want to stop, and I think that's why Eren does what he does, and I think that's just incredibly untrue. If someone breaks into my house, attacks me and tries to steal my house and I shoot them in the face, I'm justified in defending myself and my home and my right to self determination. I don't then become the guy who broke into my home in the first place, that's insane. Because I have no desire to go around stealing other people's houses just because I defended my own. So Eren feeling like the absolute *only way* to save everyone was to kill a bunch of people is just nuts and extreme to a point of laughability lmao. It's, imo, bad storytelling, but again, I don't expect better vision from nazis. He had a vested interest in making the people of Paradis look a certain way, and the people of Marley and the rest of the world look a certain way, and that permeates everything, most especially Eren's trajectory, so, I think it's all just ridiculous.

[megmcgouraud]

Took you Long Enough

Galway, 19:34 pm 

I approach the house, double checking that Google Maps has led me to the correct address. I don’t really need to though, the place is basically an advertisement for university accommodation. There is a mountain of bins piled up along the little stone wall, and an impressive collection of beer cans and wine bottles. I can even see the corner of a neon road sign peeking through an upstairs curtain. This must be the place. I unlatch the gate, proud of myself for getting it to open smoothly on my first try. Then immediately ashamed of myself for feeling proud of that. 

I press the buzzer, avoiding eye contact with the spider resting in a nearby cobweb. We don’t have to be enemies, I try to communicate with her telepathically. She seems to understand the message. The tinny sound rings out, and I wait, feeling as exposed and naked as I did that time I had to get a lump checked out under my armpit except this time there is no kindly middle aged woman with cold hands gently poking my boob. 

I spread a smile across my already chapped lips, and hitch my bag up more securely onto my shoulder. My palms are sweating slightly. I wipe them roughly on my jeans, praying that nobody will shake my hand. Why on Earth would you shake anyone’s hand in the first place you actual gobshite I chide myself, shaking my head at the notion. Then I grow alarmed at my negative self talk, which I know is a huge no-no. I had read an article during the Summer saying that the key to making friends at college was to ooze confidence. All I am currently oozing was perspiration. I shift uncomfortably in my boots, annoyed at myself for not having worn my runners.

It had taken me hours to choose my outfit. I had scoured the social media posts of other girls from my class at school, zooming in on their faces and torsos, trying to see what intrinsically existed within them to make them so pretty, so natural, so happy. I tried on every item of clothing I owned, and tore them off of myself with the same frantic energy that doctors do to each other during heated moments of passion in medical dramas. It didn’t matter that I combed my hair parting just right, or that I flicked out my eyeliner the way they did. My reflection looked sad and empty, like a very lazy artist had given up trying to get the proportions right. After my lonely fashion show, I scrubbed my face so harshly with a Kleenex that I thought I’d find fragments of skin in the tissue. In the end I just made do with jeans and a black top, it was safer than continuing to torture myself. “You look super cute!” my older sister Astrid had encouraged me over Facetime. I knew she meant well, but the word cute made me feel like one of those crusty old dogs that was missing an eyeball, endearing in a pathetically harmless way. I quickly rub at my temple, scared that the evidence of my earlier desperation is somehow still evident. 

A beat passes, and then another. The silence of nothing happening washes over me. And then the stages of panic begin to set in. Why is nobody answering? I can hear the sound of music inside, a clamour of male and female voices blending together. It’s like one of those cheesy high school movies brought to life, I swear you could smell the hormones and alcohol from here. 

 I strain my ears to see if I can catch the sound of Briana speaking, but no such luck. I’m not fully confident I could recognise her lilting Cork accent yet, I had only met her earlier that day in our Introduction to Political Studies lecture. I had slipped into one of the seats in the back, still waiting for the official task force of the Universe to swarm the building screaming “There’s an imposter here! Get her boys!” However all that occurred was I sat down on the cold plastic, but before my relief could fully set in; I realised in horror my left ass cheek had acquainted itself with a carton of not yet empty Ribena. The liquid seeped through my pants and I felt stupid tears prick at my stupid eyes because stupid me is the only stupid 19 year old literally on the planet who would cry over stupid Ribena, and now this big purple stain was a stupid reminder matter where I would go I would always be stuck as stupid me but then a hand touched my arm; 

The hand was in fact attached to a body, who I would later learn was named Briana. She smiled at me through two chocolate brown curtains of hair. “Sorry girl, I should have given you the heads up about that chair, but at least now we match!” she said, twisting around to show me a matching grape tattoo on her thigh. I blinked, scared to move too suddenly in case I broke the magic. “Was that your evil plan all along?” a voice said, only after the words left my lips and floated out carelessly into the atmosphere did I realise they were in fact mine. Oh no I thought, let me pull them back in. But it was too late. Here it comes. 

 “You’ve caught me red-handed I guess”, she giggled, wiggling her thick eyebrows.   

“You’ve caught me purple-assed,” I replied. At that she snorted, lightly smacking me.  I watched her in amazement, like a kid transfixed by an acrobat doing tricks at the circus. This girl was audibly laughing, audibly laughing at words that had come from my, Ellen Byrne’s mouth? “You’re gonna get me in trouble with the professor,” she said, indicating to the stern old man pointedly shuffling his notes. He cleared his throat.

“Can the ladies in the back quieten down please,” he said sternly “ You can discuss whatever is so amusing to you both after our lecture.” A few heads turned subtly to see who had been the perpetrators. I felt a blush creep up my neck, while simultaneously a weird sense of pride washed over me. Adrenaline rushed through me, like how I felt when I’d accidentally miss a step on the staircase, but better in every conceivable way. It was only heightened by Briana catching my eyes and tapping her pen meaningfully beside the ten digits scrawled at the top of her notebook. 

It was a simpler time then, and I missed it dearly, despite the fact that it literally happened only this morning. I was jealous of my past self, soggy trousers and all. I debated pressing the buzzer once more, my nerves building. 

What if I rang the bell a second time, but whoever was going to answer was just busy the first time? What if they think I’m a diva, someone who expects people to immediately tend to my beck and call? What if they were literally having a final phone call with an elderly grandparent, about to have the first of many kisses with their longtime crush, mid-way through changing a tampon? The possibilities all flash before my eyes as I picture in horror the different versions of the either tear stained or lipstick smudged, but most definitely pissed off face of the host opening their home to me. Who am I to decide when they need to come to the door? A double-buzz is far too risky. Not when the stakes are this high. 

“Who wants a shot?” I hear a female voice slur. The knot in my stomach kindly reminds me of its presence, wrapping itself even tighter around my insides. Me! I do! Please answer the door! I scream internally. Wait I contemplate for a wild moment Would that actually be a cool way to announce my presence? My clarity of mind returns just in time to ground me from my delusions. I glance at my phone, it’s been three and a half minutes. Three and a half minutes I could have spent inside, having a normal college experience. I could only picture my mother’s exasperated face “ Just open the feckin thing Ellen!” Mam is full of classic one-liners like this. Some other popular contenders included “Just tell the teacher you need to go to the toilet Ellen!”, “ Just call them on the phone Ellen!”  and not forgetting my own personal favourite, “Just go up and introduce yourself Ellen!” She makes it all sound so simple, I put it down to old age having wreaked a bit of havoc with her critical thinking skills. But sometimes I have to wonder if she’s right; most of the time I feel as though I’m still waiting for some sort of letter in the post to inform me of how to actually function as a living breathing human. 

Maybe it was all a big joke, the words penetrate me before I can stop them. There’s a sudden roar of laughter from inside. Oh God, what if they can see me. Is Briana recounting the tale to everyone of how she took pity on an awkward saddo, and they mistook her charity for genuine interest? Are they all crouching behind various items of furniture, giddily telling each other Shh, she’ll hear. Maybe they have a pool going for how long I’ll stand here, an eager idiot. 

Defeated, I turn around, and walk back down the overgrown garden path. I’m shivering in the cold, but I hadn’t wanted to bring a jacket because in the films the girls never wanted to wear them either. I had wanted to be like them so badly, and I thought tonight would finally be my chance to shake off  the frumpy, plain, painfully dull old skin I had found myself sewn into over the years. But maybe it’s too late, the damage is done now. Being me is a life sentence, different scenery doesn’t fix it.  

I reach the end of the lawn, imagining the awkward follow up call I’ll have to go through with Astrid tomorrow. Should I just lie to her? Fabricate an incredible evening full of firsts, maybe even feign a hangover for good measure? She’d know, Astrid always knows. She knew when I started missing school for weeks on end that it wasn’t just my period cramps getting the better of me, or that I didn’t just not go to the debs in order to protest the patriarchy. She was there with me on every birthday I insisted on not celebrating, neither of us willing to acknowledge the fact that we both knew nobody would come if I invited them. “Forget all them Ell,” she’d say, curling up beside me on the couch. “Your people are out there, you just gotta find ‘em,” she’d tell me wisely through a mouthful of microwave popcorn. I feel a pang at the thought of the ill-concealed disappointment on her face when she would realise I spent yet another evening holed away in my bedroom. 

I look back at the door. What if my people are behind it? 

“Excuse me?” a voice squeaks, breaking me from my inner trance. I see a girl in streaky fake tan, her eyelashes like large black feathers glued to her lids. She looks about twelve years old, teetering on high heels uncertainly. She gives me a timid smile.

 “Are you heading into Briana’s?” she asks, nervous excitement coating her voice. 

“Yeah, actually I am,” I reply, “I’m Ellen.” 

“Grace,” she says, extending her arm over the wall. We shake hands, her skin slightly clammy to touch, but I don’t mind. “I’m such an eejit," she says, rolling her eyes lightly “I can’t even get the stupid gate open!” She giggles self-consciously.

“Don’t worry, it was tricky for me too,” I lie, unlatching the bolt. She enters the garden, her eyes large as she looks up at the building in front of her. “This is my first proper party you know,” she almost whispers to me, like she’s just confessed a murder. 

“Mine too” I whisper back. We both laugh. I offer her the crook of my elbow so she can hold it while we half hobble up to the house together. It looks a lot less threatening the second time around. 

Before we reach the steps, the front door swings open. Briana emerges, a rolled cigarette pressed between her lips. 

“Ell!” she beams. “Took you long enough!” 

 (© 2023 by MegMcGouraud)

[lavendertowerarchives]

Might've fucked up.

I've kept this in the reserves for a little too long, mostly because I'm lazy. I was talking to JH on my way to class (we went on a quest to get her an energy drink) and we started talking about unusual shit.

We were talking about getting onto the roof of our apartment, and how I've tried but the door is locked. She said it's the same across most of the dorms, probably to prevent people from jumping off. I replied, that's probably not it, I mean, look at the Sine building (the Sinegal building is massive, with a vertical cut through the 6 floors, allowing for a 6-story drop to the ground below) and look at the student center (a similar construction, with 3 massive floors for an equivalent 7-story drop).

Immediately, she said "huh." It took her a second to realize that I didn't mean "look at these buildings, they're so pretty, who would want to kill themself?" I instead meant "Jumping from these buildings is so much easier than going to a random rooftop."

She followed with "Oh." After a pause (I couldn't see her facial expression, I was trying not to look at her because I get distracted by how cute she is), She added "These are a fair distance away, though."

I almost countered: "You think that's gonna stop people? It doesn't stop me." I'm glad I didn't. That would have been a fuckup of major proportions. Instead, I stopped myself, and said "That's where my expertise ends."

What a dumbass thing to say. I'm trying to dissuade analysis on her part, but I say something that needs a follow-up, without following up. That's not where my expertise ends. I am much more involved in these decisions than anyone should be. I shouldn't have implied I have any experience in the first place. That's fucking stupid.

The conversation stagnated. We eventually moved on to other things. Having been distracted by JH's... everything (cute, small, nice), I failed to remember her struggles with suicidal ideation in the past. I don't know how long ago it was, but it was still something she'd been through. I wish I could have related to her out loud, but I can't risk anyone finding out.

I'm just stupid. Myopic. Too focused on shit that I can't get, like more friendship with JH. I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that she does not want to be better friends with me. She's fine where we're at, and I'm not, and I'm too pussy to risk our already slim friendship for an even slimmer chance it could be more. Yeah, I want to fuck her, yeah, I want to cuddle her, but she's just a really fun person to talk to. I'll take what I can get, even if I'm left starving.

[thedarkmistress16]

How did you learn to draw human figure?

as mentioned in a recent answer, an extensive amount of research and analysis helps before or while drawing them myself- looking at finished works, speed paints, animation, and tutorials- anything i could get my grubby little hands on. Have enough retained in my mind and a few warmups and a lot of hours to kill and rested eyes and im in business for decent drawings baby!

And I've never taken an anatomy class.

Being able to think visually or being able to imagine certain poses and movements in my head from said inspo/research also helps. And looking at various art styles doing one thing with the human body helps me narrow down the common, key features or rules in drawing them. I like to go a step further and figure out the mindset of the artists to understand their process a lot better and try to think in a similar way after being inspired, which I did a while ago after watching an artist youtuber's sketching process. Or I place it on the back burner of my mind for a later comparison.

This (the above last point) is fun to do for me as it makes me feel more competent than I actually think I am when it comes to drawing bodies, and I typically think about the dynamics of a pose + compared to the overall composition- provided I have a frame or sense of space somewhere like a scene and not floating in empty space that drawings in sketchbooks usually have. I never strive to make the poses in particular look bland and usually want to push myself the tiniest bit to try a new angle or limb placement. But I'm notoriously flip-floppy with it: Some days I properly plan out the spacing and proportions and do the pillow/bean body skeleton with basic lines and shapes. Other times I'll only want to draw the proportions from my idea like it's my first clean draft and feel how its coming along line by line instead of following a previously-mapped guide (gauging limb thickness, joint placement, general outline, etc. w/out references). If it looks nice and looks like it makes sense, then it stays.

It also helps that i like drawing fashion more than anything, so I had to end up learning a bit about the human body at some point, XD. For most of my life I've drawn faces and torsos. The lower body is still a learning curve that i hate doing sometimes but I'm more confident with how knees work and look like now, LOL.

I do the freehand expansive thing as a: hey I just drew this whole profile face free-handed just from expanding one eye I drew! kind of personal achievement. Sometimes it turns out good, but most often with this (lazy) method, I end up going back to basics and pathing the skeletal line on the dirtied page or sketch layer, mostly due to frustration in it taking so long and not looking right. Or I abandon it. So, in short, I make it hard for myself because I try to make it look good first try but I do resort to references like my hand sometimes XD.

[tasmanianstripes]

Menstrual pain should be taken more seriously than it currently is, people suffering from it shouldn't be dismissed or accused of overreacting because "it's just a period"

For most of my life, I've suffered from debilitating menstrual cramps. Some days it was bad enough that I couldn't move, couldn't even speak, just cry and scream for hours until the painkillers finally kicked in, and it'd often leave me feeling weak, exhausted and like I was on the verge of passing out. I have to take the strongest non-prescription medication on the market and it still just makes my pain bearable enough that I can function; hell, even my prescription drugs sometimes weren't enough.

Despite this, I was often ridiculed by my peers and accused of faking it so I can get out of school or work, and I've had medical professionals refuse to help me because "it's just a period" and "it'll pass on its own". I've had to beg people to go get me painkillers and they'd usually start an argument or roll their eyes at me and complain the entire time. It was a constant problem and the only person that's ever taken my pain seriously was my mother.

Seriously, it isn't right that I have to deal with 2-3 days of debilitating pain and nobody around me treats it seriously. Not even my doctors.

And I'm not even the most severe case out there, I'm lucky that my cramps only last a max of 3 days and respond to medications. There are people out there who have to deal with worse.

Seriously, just please start taking menstrual pain seriously. Just because it happens every month doesn't mean it's any more bearable or less serious than any other pain. The pain this severe isn't normal, it's a medical condition and it should be treated seriously. It's even more fucked up that this sort of pain is often a symptom of some underlying condition yet even doctors don't treat it seriously.

[bokutobaes]

inarizaki boys when you have a bad day

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆-with: atsumu, suna, kita

☆-!warnings!: swearing, parental issues, parents fighting, (there’s nothing physically violent), illness like the flu

☆-a/n: yall these are longgg LOL sorry

☆- author: lu <3

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆ atsumu:

-his baby had a bad day :((

-just kidding he didn’t notice at first I’m so sorry nzjsjjsj

-your lockers are nearby so he’s usually waiting for you there first thing in the morning

-you woke up today with a headache and you were just really tired from studying last night :/

-you wanted to suck it up because it was your own fault for leaving the studying until the night before the test you had

-anyways, you were walking up to your locker lowkey trying to avoid eye contact with him

-“hi tsumu :)” u fricken liar with that fake smile

-“morning babe!” atsumu pulled u in for a back hug “i have to get to class kinda early for a test review so i’ll see you at lunch”

-and with that he was pecking your cheek and leaving

-“okay.. kind of good” you thought.. you didn’t wanna worry him or anything so you headed to you first class, math

-hell literally broke loose.. you forgot your pencil case and had to ask like 4 people until you got one which was embarrassing

-AND THEN the teacher called on you for an answer that you didn’t know like the universe

was against you or something

-“uhh... ummm i don’t know..” headass😩

-the class after that was slightly less dehumanizing but it was also japanese class.. the class you had a test in that you just barely studied for

-you did the test and lost braincells, blood sweat and tears LOL

-“okay class these will be graded by lunchtime so please come by to collect your scores before your next class”

-ogey :/ anyways u went to ur next class and before u knew it, it was lunch time.

-a text from atsumu made your phone vibrate while on your way to get your test scores

-“hey babe im actually gonna eat lunch with samu we’re practicing a bit at lunch”

-oh :) ok :) that’s fine :) not like u :) desperately:) need a hug :) right now :)

-“oh okay babe” you text back

-whatever u don’t need him independent queen

-that’s your mindset.. until you get those test scores

-it’s a literal fail .. did not pass the test.. ok..

-“y/n san, these test scores were not your usual best. I’m slightly disappointed, if there’s anything going on please let me know”

-“thank you sensei. i’ll do better next time.

-at this point you were just tying not to cry so you took your test and shouldered your bag and walked to a bench outside for some fresh air.

-right.. you didn’t bring lunch today

-so now you were hungry, tired, defeated, disappointed and lonely :,(

-the last class of your day went by quickly probably because you were zoned out the whole time

-the end of the day came and you were at your locker when your guardian texted you

-“Y/n, you had that test today right? I’m expecting to see the grade when your back home. Didn’t have time to make food tonight so find something to eat on your way home.”

-oh that test ? lol hahaha the one that you failed?! yeah that one haha lol lollll

-so with that, you started your walk home

-“y/n!!”

-fuck. atsumu.

-if you saw him now you knew you wouldn’t be able to hold in your tears and you really didn’t want to cry

-so your solution? pretend you didn’t hear him and walk faster lmfaokdhdh

-but atsumu, being.. well atsumu, decided to just full speed sprint towards you to put his shoulder around you

-“i literally know you heard me. i missed you today sorry about lun- why are you crying ?!!?”

-“bad day” you choked out before a shuddering gasp wracked your chest

-atsumu didn’t say anything he just wrapped you in a tight hug, petting you hair while you cried into his chest

-“its okay babe.. “ :(

-��you wanna come over? we can get food and cuddle”

-you nodded your head taking a shaky breath

-his hand reached out and wiped your tears, brushed your hair behind your ear and kissed your forehead like it was natural to him.

-and so you walked together hand in hand to atsumu’s house where you ate samu’s leftover onigiri and vented to atsumu about the day while you cuddled

-he also gave you a hoodie :,)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆ suna:

-“living is a chore :|” you thought as the alarm rang through your room ruining your peaceful sleep

-it was raining outside and your mind went back to last night, the screaming match your parents had

-normally you’d be used to it but it felt like they were starting to take the anger they had for each other out on you now

-you tried not to but you started thinking about all the things your mom had yelled to you through the closed door of your bedroom

-“your just like your father. you’re selfish, lazy and all you do is run around with that little boyfriend of yours! what about your family?! you think your better then us? why don’t you move out then since your so good at being independent?!”

-everything she said was always completely blown out of proportion, she lied all the time. it’s exhausting for you

-you started getting ready for school, you wanted to see suna and your friends and laugh and just forget last night even happened

-when you got to school suna was there at your locker scrolling lazily through his phone

-you smiled, genuinely as he looked up and greeted you with a smirk

-“nice hair.”

-“wha-“ you started and then smacked his arm when you realized that your baby hairs were out of sorts “shutup” you scowled

-“good morning” suna hugged you

-“good morning”

-now you were off to class, it always went by too fast, you thought. school was always done in the blink of an eye

-“what’re you doing at lunch?” your friend tapped your shoulder and whispered to you

-“mmm nothing probably why?”

-“let’s eat on the roof today! yui told me there’s gonna be a rainbow cuz it stopped raining.”

-“okay” you smiled

-now at lunch with your friends you ate the bento you had packed before. the rainbow was there and it was beautiful

-you were having fun just laughing with your friends and texting suna while he sent terrible photos of atsumu. things were good, you had forgotten about your mom

-until the end of the day came and you had to go back home

-as usual suna was at his locker waiting so that you could walk home together

-after crossing the street you and suna were at a bike path, trees surrounding the fences

-it was a comfortable silence until...

-“what’s wrong?”

-suna asking took you by surprise, you didn’t think you were acting any different. were you?

-“what are you talking about”

-“you look sad, you did this morning too but then you were fine the rest of the day so I didn’t say anything. but, you look sad again now”

-“oh..”

-so suna just saw right through you

-“ um.. i’m okay.. it’s just ..” you laughed dryly “i don’t really want to go home”

-“did something happen?”

-“yeah.. my parents were fighting, it turned into this whole thing.” you felt a lump in your throat start to form “i don’t really wanna talk about it”

-“okay. you should just come over then, right?”

-“can i?”

-“you literally don’t even have to ask me anymore y/n” suna grabbed your hand and led the way

-when you got there suna hopped on his couch and started putting on something from netflix

-“my parents aren’t home, my sister has a dance thing today” he grabbed a blanket and you sat down, putting your head in his lap

-suna put on a comedy show, of course he would

-he played with your hair while you watched and after an episode or two, he asked

-���do you want to talk about it now?”

-and so you did, you told him what happened last night and what your mom said. your plan was to not cry but that failed miserably

-suna listened intently, he told you the truth, he said that what she said wasn’t true, he told you you could sleepover whenever you needed to.

-kissed you and wrapped you back in the blanket

-“i love you, you know that right? always.”

-he always knew what to say and you loved him for that

-“i love you too, suna”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭ .・.

☆ kita:

-kita knew, first thing he noticed when he saw you that you weren’t okay

-you woke up with a terrible headache, aching body and stomachache

-so this is it? this is hell? ok.

-but the test.. you had a test today. fortunately you had actually studied for weeks because you knew it was important

-mentally? you were ready for that test. physically? you had the spanish influenza

-so you weighed the options and decided you would go to school, take the test and then come back home after.

-the problem with that was that kita would in fact lecture you on all the reasons you should not have come to school

-he was right of course, but you still decided that you would need to avoid him for today

-spoiler alert it did not work

-your test was your third class of the day so you only had to get through 2 classes and you’d leave at lunch perfectly avoiding kita

-this was what you thought while you were at your locker until you closed it and walked directly into kitas chest

-“wow”

-“good morning y/n-chan”

-“morning kita! i have to go or I’ll be late!”

-you ran😭 and you almost got away too but kita grabbed your arm and pulled you to one side of the hallway

-he felt your forehead and both cheeks

-“you have a fever y/n”

-“no I don’t I’m just hot from walking to school”

-he said 😐

-you signed and rested your head on his chest letting your arms dangle

-“why did you come? you look sick”

-“thanks. I have a test.”

-“how do you feel?”

-you told him your symptoms but also that you were leaving right after the test and you could pull through

-he really didn’t want you to overwork yourself but he knew you were set on taking the test

-so he let you go and he made you promise to text him between classes and let him know if you felt any worse

-and off you went

-honestly, you were fine up until halfway through your second class.. then you started feeling really cold and tired even kind of nauseous

-then in the third class your test was put onto your desk and before you knew it your teacher was saying “begin”

-okay. you can do this you thought to yourself. the test was easy enough with how much you studied, you thought about every answer and you tried to finish quick

-but then it was like time cut itself in half and the bell for lunch was ringing

-you weren’t even done the test yet

-“y/n you can stay in here until your done but i expect you to have it finished soon”

-one question left

-you don’t even remember what you ended up putting before you were up and giving the paper to your teacher

-kita was right there when you left the classroom

-“hey ..hey.. y/n”

-you could barely hear him you just flopped into his arms

-“okay I’m taking you home.. “

-“but..”

-“shh let’s go”

-you don’t remember getting there but then you were in your bed smothered in pillows and blankets

-kita came in

-“what time is it?”

-he looked at his phone “half past 4”

-“4?!” you jolted up “did you even go back to school?” “kita?!”

-he smiled at you “no but it’s okay y/n it was only one day. i wanted to take care of you

-you noticed he had a steaming cup of something in his hands

-“what’s that” you asked

-“its tea, but it’s special tea :)”

-“what do you mean” you laughed

-“my grandma showed me how to make it, it’s gonna make you feel a lot better”

-he’s so cute...

-“kita... you didn’t have to do all this”

-“i wanted to” he sits beside you and hands you the tea

-literally tasted like heaven

-“mmmmm oh my god”

-kita laughed and kissed you on the cheek before joining you in the bed

-you cuddled and watched movies on your laptop until you fell asleep, comfortable in your boyfriends arms

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

What happened w the rationalist community, if you’re ok talking about it?

LONG REPLY TIME.

In my Wild Youth (tm) I was hardcore in the rationalist/skeptic/humanist community. You know, the New Atheist types (the vast majority of the community didn’t call themselves New Atheists, that was mostly American Dawkins fans, but we were those kinds of people, just less arrogant-PR about it). For people who don’t know, the core philosophy of this subculture basically comes down to: - humans are mostly good people, or try to be good people, and we should act in ways that are good for humanity, the environment, etc. - people with better or more accurate information about the world are capable of making better decisions - it is therefore vitally important that we view the world as accurately as possible. Truth is inherently important and valuable. We should do everything we can to make sure that our beliefs about the world are as accurate as possible. - your mind will lie to you. Cognitive biases have their social and evolutionary uses, but they result in bigotry and bad information. We should do everything we can to identify and compensate for these, and think as rationally as a human is capable of. - while it’s not perfect, science is the most effective tool we have for determining what is most likely to be true. Rationalism is therefore massively pro-science and pro-science education. (This isn’t a blind trust; most hardcore rationalists are scientists and fully aware of the limitations of the messy reality of how science is funded and published and the biases that introduces. These are taken into account. The other hardcore rationalists tend to be magicians/illusionists.)

All of this is perfectly fine and a hill I’m still perfectly willing to die on.

When you get a bunch of people together who are sincerely seeking truth and want the world to be a better place, there are some fairly obvious groups that they’re going to tangle with. Before my time, when we were just called skeptics, the main targets had been psychics and life-after-death spirit-communing con artists (this is where our magicians came from, the philosophical descendants of Houdini, one of the earliest voices in the movement, and later James Randi). But the big proponents of harm in my time were the healing crystals/essential oils/faith healing people, and the ‘Creation should be taught instead of evolution’ creationists. We spent a lot of time trying to stop people from selling oils that they said could cure cancer, and fighting against science education being replaced with religious belief inserted in science classes. (I spent a lot of my teenage years debating creationists on the internet. I can summarise this experience as a frustrating waste of time on both sides of the debate. Neither side was going to accomplish anything in these discussions.)

This is all perfectly fine. I won’t pretend I’m completely happy with everyone’s actions; it’s the internet, so of course there were subgroups doing things like mass trolling conservative religion forums and stuff, which had no purpose except to piss off people we happened not to like, but you get that. The problem with this is that it’s easy. People can believe what they want, but if you’re coming into a rational debate, every pro-Creation, anti-evolution argument is complete and utter bullshit, mostly demonstrating nothing beyond the fact that the creationist debater a) doesn’t understand the most fundamental things about biology or b) does understand and is willingly misleading the audience. Every pro healing crystal, pro astrology or pro telepathy argument is fatuous nonsense. Twelve-year-olds could walk into these discussions and completely shred every argument put forth by big-name “creation scientists” in minutes -- I know, I watched it happen regularly. I was on our conservative creationist Christian-owned community TV station for awhile doing a little ‘creation vs evolution!’ debate against the wealthy station owner’s son to fill air time, and I’d see him do a couple of hours of research for anti-evolution arguments every time we filmed, and it always pissed him off that I’d shred anything he said immediately, having done no research whatsoever, because even to me, a child, the giant drive-a-bus-through-this holes in his arguments were obvious. (Also, they were old hash; I’d read all the books by his idols before and checked the reasoning myself long before.)

Fresh voices in the community came from two main sources -- people who’d been pro-people and pro-reason/science for years finding others like them, and ex-creationists and magic healer victims who’d eventually found the holes in what they’d been taught. This second group, for obvious reasons, tended to be the most passionately pro-reason and pro-science people, and discussing different experiences in a place where people could feel safe being critical and actively celebrate doubt was great. But, inevitably, we got lazy.

A lot of the ‘laziness’ was perfectly reasonable and practical. Time and attention is always limited, and when you’ve dealt with six claims of “the eye is too complex to have evolved!” and explained the flaws in the irreducible complexity argument four times that fortnight, when someone walks in with “blood groups couldn’t possibly have evolved, therefore the earth must be 6,000 years old”, you just don’t fucking bother, and you shouldn’t fucking bother, there’s no value in that discussion.

That’s not the kind of laziness I’m talking about. I’m talking about the part where we got so used to ‘that sounds so fucking stupid’ leading directly being able to tear an argument to pieces,that it became normal to assume that anything that sounds stupid on the surface MUST be obviously wrong. Where ‘this is weird, let’s examine it and check for flaws’ became ‘that person disagrees with my preconceived notions, let’s double down and explain why they’re wrong, because I’m already assuming that they’re wrong’. At some point, “we want to be as rational and accurate as we can be, we call ourselves rationalist and work towards that” became “we’re rationalists, so we’re more accurate and rational than average and probably right”.

You might recognise that as in fact being *the exact opposite of the proported philosophy*. There were always some overenthusiastic idiots in any group, but watching it slowly become normal for rationalising to replace active rationalism and for the names of cognitive biases to be thrown around as gotcha buzzwords rather than things people were seriously considering in their own arguments was... concerning. (There were a lot of very smart people in the community, which unfortunately made it far more vulnerable to this particular kind of thing. Smarter people are better at fooling themselves; a person good at reason is also good at rationalising, and you can’t tell the difference between these things when you’re the one doing them.)

In practical terms, this doesn’t matter that much when you’re playing in the easy leagues of explaining to someone that the overpriced eucalyptus oil they bought from an MLM won’t protect them against chicken pox. The person who’s gotten lazy is shit at being a rationalist, but your reasoning skills don’t actually need to be all that impressive for this. You know what they do need to be impressive for? For when somebody says, “women are taken less seriously than men in science and biased against in hiring, payment and promotion”, and this hypothetical you, a male scientist who’s never noticed this and already knows that his profession is full of smart and reasonable people who wouldn’t do something stupid like that, thinks “that is fucking stupid” and automatically, without thinking about it, puts their energy into shouting down and dismissing alternate evidence. Or when somebody points out islamophobia in the community, or passive racism, or... you get the picture. Social issues can (and should) be examined and interrogated using rational philosophies, but it’s so much harder to do that than laugh at creationists who are sending you abusive messages about going to hell. And given the particular hot-button issues in the community, most of the people there were interested in biology, chemistry or physics and simply had no idea how to *do* social sciences, treating the parts that were familiar from their own specialities as valid and the rest as irrational nonsense. And now, you have prominent rationalists panicking about Sharia law, sneering at the made-up problems of feminism, and generally making fools of themselves... because they got lazy.

Because, like how it’s hard to be a liberal (American definition) but easy to be a conservative in a gay hat, it’s hard to be a rationalist, but easy to be an arsehole with a big vocabulary. And that’s why I can’t gush about how great Richard Dawkins’ early science books are without somebody bringing up his bullshit twitter opinions.

[eggmacguffin]

7 19 and 40 <3

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

There is something invigorating about trying to say something in a way that no one has done before. Like, trying to put into words a specific emotion or situation, and not having any basis for it so you have to build a picture from scratch. It's why I'm so nuts about lofty descriptions, lol.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

This isn't so much my writing journey as it is my fanfic journey, but it is supremely relevant. I read fic since i was in grade school but never seriously wrote anything until 2021.

Because In September through December of last year, I was working 4am-9am AND 5pm-9pm (opening and then coming back to close) everyday, and spending my weekdays either in classes at a college where i knew no one or studying in empty classrooms where i was constantly anxious about strangers peeking over my shoulders. It was, to put it mildly, soul crushing. I didn't eat, I barely slept, I rarely saw the sun, and in my darker moments I was genuinely worried that my mind was deteriorating.

In August of last year, Tim Drake came out as bisexual and I got back into Batman.

I reread all the comics I'd loved, caught up on what my favorite characters were doing, and read some amazing fic, but it wasn't enough. I started writing and publishing fanfiction because at the time it felt like if i did not CREATE something, if I did not make something with my own mind and put it out there, I would just shrivel into nothing.

Getting into writing in a way i never had before was an act of pure desperation, and it (the writing, the responses, the kindness and support i was shown as an amateur by established writers in the fandom) got me through the worst four months of my adult life.

I don't know if this is really an answer, sorry.

But seriously. God bless fanfic.

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

Okay. This is something I wrote back when my mom was still alive. I'm putting this beneath the cut because it is a little long and it is pretty viscerally about child abuse. But I have written exactly one good poem, so here it is:

Untitled

It didn’t happen.

Your memory has always been so poor, 

And you’ve always been a liar

You’ve always been so dramatic,

So desperate for attention

That you’d fake your own death to get someone to pity you

So desperate for pity, for attention, ever since you were little

So you pretend like I’m a bad person.

And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.

You’re lucky you don’t have it worse. 

If it was my father—

If it was my mother—

Then you’d know what real suffering is.

You love to blow things out of proportion

Because you love treating me like I’m a bad person.

And if it was, it’s not a big deal.

These kinds of things happen all the time

And if they don’t, it’s because you’re different.

You’re troublesome

More trouble than the other kids

I do what I have to do

To keep you under control

That doesn’t make me a bad person.

And if it is, that’s not my fault.

You have no idea how much stress I’m under

You think dealing with you is easy

How was I supposed to know

That a creature dependent on me for help

Asking me for help

Wasn’t just trying to manipulate me

You always push me so far

That I can’t help thinking

Maybe you wanted this to happen.

Why do you want me to be a bad person?

And if it was, I didn’t mean it

I’m just trying to do what’s best for you, don’t you realize that?

You’re lazy, and stupid, and you can’t do anything right

I’m trying to guide you down the path of righteousness.

Don’t you understand that I’m making sacrifices too?

You want me to be the villain,

But I love you.

How could I ever hurt you if I love you?

When you get older, you’ll understand.

When you have kids, you’ll understand

That I’m not a bad person.

And if I did

You’ve always been a greedy, filthy thing.

 I feed you, clothe you out of the goodness of my heart

And this is how you repay me?

I own you. You owe everything to me.

There is no boundary I will not cross 

I can take as much as I want,

 and touch whatever I want, 

and do

Anything I want to you.

You deserved it.

Don’t go telling people about this. 

Don’t go spreading our shit around.

If you do, people will realize exactly what kind of person you really are.

Only I understand. You understand too, don't you? You deserve this.

And they just haven’t realized it yet.

But don’t worry.

I won’t tell if you won’t.

[goodlucktai]

Have you done 4, 49, or 52 yet? If you did sorry. Oh... And will you post these on ao3?

PROMPTS LIST

49. “I have a concern.” “Just one?” “No, but I didn’t think you’d let me speak my piece if I told you how many I actually have.”

all of these prompt fills will make their way to my oneshot collection eventually :)

x

Shibata just happens to be there. 

Nishimura wanted snacks, and volunteered Natsume to go to the convenience store with him, and Shibata invited himself along. He’s only here for the weekend, after all, and Nishimura gets to have Natsume’s attention all the rest of the time. 

Natsume sighed, because he knew they’d bicker all the way to the store and back, but he still held the door and waved them through, arguments and all.

Now they’re walking back to Natsume’s house, the plastic bags between them bulging with sandwiches, and pancakes, and rice balls for poor, boring Tanuma. Natsume isn’t carrying a bag because he’s carrying that lazy sensei of his instead. 

Their breaths cloud in the crisp January air. The pink and orange of sunset has faded from the far corner of the sky, leaving it a deep, vivid blue. 

And it’s there, as they step off the sidewalk and head through the grass, cutting a familiar path through a familiar field of weeds and wheat, that Natsume seems to stumble upon courage.

“Hey, Satchan,” he says, “can I tell you something?”

It’s so casual, almost off-handed. Shibata almost misses it entirely. He’s trying to make sure his new shoes don’t get too muddy, distracted and looking at his feet while they trudge along. 

Nyanko-sensei’s eyes are very green in the fading light, glinting with animal brightness. Nishimura tips his head, silly and flighty at all other times, but super attentive when a friend calls his name. Particularly so when it’s Natsume.

Shibata can’t even make fun of the cutesy nickname, because Nishimura is impossible to embarrass. And Shibata has slipped up and used it before, too. 

“You can tell me anything,” Nishimura says plainly. If anything, he’s confused that Natsume thinks he needs to ask. 

And it’s this moment. Here, in the sprawling, rambling countryside. Here, in the blue hour, when the sun has gone down but the sky is still rich with color. Here, where home is just down the road and their friends are waiting.

Natsume says, “I can see spirits. I’ve always been able to see them.”

Shibata nearly trips, and it takes some real expert maneuvering to save his bag of convenience store food from an unfortunate meeting with the dirt. Nishimura stops walking abruptly enough that it’s almost a trip, too. His eyes are round and full. 

“I’ve never told anyone before,” Natsume goes on, sounding amazed by his own daring. “Well-- not really. Not since I was in grade school. No one believed me back then.” 

He’s always so pacific and detached, even when he’s in pain or afraid, that the edge of nervousness creeping into his tone now almost seems out of place.

For his part, Shibata is gaping. He can’t believe this. He wasn’t prepared. His eyes dart from Natsume’s anxious expression to Nishimura’s stunned one, and he starts shoring himself up. If he has to intervene, he will. He’s seen more proof than any reasonable person needs, and he’ll shove Nishimura’s face in it like a disobedient dog if that’s what it takes to make him understand. 

But it’s only a moment-- only seconds really-- before Nishimura’s face clears. He shuffles his bags to his left hand so his right one is free, and he touches Natsume’s arm the way Shibata has seen him do a thousand times. 

“That makes sense,” he says, nonsensically. “More sense than my esper theory, anyway.”

Natsume’s expression would put the sun to absolute shame. His smile is slow at first, but inexorable, like a stream of water picking its way around the bend that meets the river. He must be the brightest thing for miles. 

“You thought I was an esper?” he teases, laughter in his voice. “You watch too much TV.”

Nishimura throws up his hands, the contents of his shopping bag rattling ominously. “I saw you float in homeroom once! Like, a foot off the ground! ESP is way more plausible than you’re making it out to be, thank you very much.”

Shibata stares at them, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for this scene to shift. It can’t be that easy. It can’t be that painless. Nishimura must be lying to save face, or hiding what is most certainly a freak-out of epic proportions, because belief like this is impossible.  

Except now Natsume is introducing Nyanko-sensei properly, and Nishimura is talking to the cat-- surprise and wonder melting into acceptance as easily and naturally as a spring thaw. 

“You knew exactly what you were doing every time you stole my food!” Nishimura complains, tugging on one of Nyanko-sensei’s soft ears. “Natsume, your cat owes me money.”

Natsume laughs. He laughs, head tipping back, healthy color rising in his wind-chapped cheeks. In this moment, he’s so far removed from that tiny, overshadowed boy that Shibata used to bully on the playground that he might as well be another person entirely. 

Could it have been like this back then? Shibata wonders suddenly. The thought is intrusive and unwelcome. 

If he had been a kinder child, if he had suspended his disbelief for long enough to get to know the strange little boy no one wanted to sit next to in class, would Natsume belong to him the way he belongs to Nishimura and Kitamoto, Taki and Tanuma, Shigeru and Touko?

"Shibata,” Natsume says, in the tone of someone who’s said it more than once. “Hey, are you okay?”

Shibata blinks, arresting his attention. Natsume is watching him with a puzzled frown. Nishimura is waving his arms around and inching forward, as if he’s playing a strange, abridged version of Marco-Polo.

“Fine,” he blurts. “What’s your idiot friend doing?”

“He’s yours, too,” Natsume says peacefully. “And he’s looking for Nyanko-sensei.” 

“What, he poofed?” Shibata looks around the empty field, too. “How did I miss that?” 

“Who’s the idiot now, Sumi?” Nishimura calls over his shoulder. 

The annoying nickname slides right off Shibata like water off an oilskin coat this time. He’s still trying to catch up to this conversation. He almost feels winded, like he’s huffing and puffing across the finish line of a marathon that no one had the decency to warn him about. 

“I can’t believe you just blurted it out like that,” he says, barely mustering the strength to talk above a whisper. “You took ten years ojf my life, easy. I was hyping myself up for a big fallout or something.”

"I can’t believe it, either,” Natsume admits, smiling. “But it wasn’t even that scary, really. Definitely not as scary as I always thought it would be. Maybe because you were here.”

Shibata very quickly looks down at his hands to readjust his shopping bags and not because his eyes are stinging in a telling way.

Nishimura gives a sudden squawk of surprise, hands spread out against the empty air, eyes huge and moon-like. Then his face splits in a grin, and laughter comes bubbling out of him as easily as it always has, and he smooths one hand to the side as if he’s petting something. As if he’s petting Natsume’s ugly cat where it’s fallen asleep in his lap.

His trust is a wild, reckless thing. It’s almost infuriating to watch. 

Could it have been like this back then? If I was a better person?

“You said he can fly, right?” Nishimura demands. “I wanna fly! Tell him to take us the rest of the way home! He owes me at least a dozen rides, considering all the food I’ve given him.”

He’s already searching for handholds, trying to find a way up. Natsume stoops to gather the forgotten bags of snacks and loops the handles around his wrist before making his way over. To Shibata’s intense dismay, rather than tell Nishimura that it’s a stupid idea and he’s stupid for thinking of it, Natsume helps him climb up instead. 

“I have a concern,” Shibata says dryly. 

Natsume huffs. It’s not really a laugh, but it’s not not a laugh, either. “Just one?” 

“No, but I didn’t think you’d let me speak my piece if I told you how many I actually have.”

“You can walk if you want to,” Nishimura calls down. “No one’s making you come along.”

It’s very surreal to see him sitting on nothing, well above Shibata’s head. It’s still very annoying to watch him take to this strange new world with enthusiasm and aplomb, as if he was simply born to exist in this moment and be Natsume’s friend. 

Never one to be outdone, Shibata ignores his own uncertainty to drawl, “And miss the chance to watch you make a fool out of yourself in new and unprecedented ways? Never.”

Nishimura crows with laughter, too delighted to take offense. Natsume sighs just like he did before they left, when he resigned himself to their noisy, obtrusive company. He holds out his hand the same way he held open the door. 

He’s always standing on that threshold. He’s always holding out his hand. 

Shibata has already missed so many chances to reach out and take it. He’s not going to miss any more. 

[levelrazearts]

Been a while since I last posted anything, and I apologize for that as I was so busy with trying to balance work and social life that I kind of neglected all of my tf projects but I got some stuff in the works that'll hopefully come to fruition this year along with some stuff that I'm already working on. No promises on a Top 10 list of last years tf figures as I don't think I really bought enough to fill it out so we'll just jump straight into this year with the first tf that I've bought and it's one that I've been wanting since it was first announced, and that is the Weijiang Thunder Leader aka MPM Optimus Prime. And my gosh is this the best Optimus figure ever made. Looking as if he popped right off the screen and with every possible detail that exists from the cgi render this guy sports, which is more than what the original MPM Prime can say of which this is an oversize and knockoff of that figure but with so much changed that honestly I don't even count it as such, as it is a huge improvement to that figure that this is basically a third party entry. The biggest changes are as followed

Vehicle mode:

The orange gradient has been added to the front nose of the truck which was only present on the front wheels on the Hasbro release.

The antenna (I think) have been added to the front bumper which is a first for any Optimus figure that can transform and it is awesome.

The overall color is a lot more metallic and darker to match that of the film, and the flames look nicer too.

All four weapons store in the truck mode, with his blasters forming the insides of the gas tanks and a bit of the smokestacks and the swords just peg in underneath, something the original couldn't do.

He has 8 rear tires instead of 4 thanks to a very neat engineering trick that as far as origins go seem to go back as far as the ROTF Leader Class Optimus but was cut due to budget constraints, so it's awesome to see if come to life.

The CHROME, it looks soooooo goooooooood.

Transformation:

The legs, arms and chest are probably the only things that are similar if not the same from the original, after that, a lot is new. The rear wheel covers completely fold in on themselves to creat a more accurate appearance, the rear taillights also flip around to form his butt flaps, the lower parts of his smokestacks get removed due to being parts of his guns so a bit of partsforming but an acceptable amount and excuse for it. And the way the back compresses now is I think different but certainly better, especially with how the gas tanks fold on themselves. The biggest changes by far are the forearms and lower chest, where they are now hella more accurate and better proportioned in that instead of being lazy like the original they actually put effort into making the parts of the nose and front go to where they're supposed to be, namely the nose becomes the arms with the rear of the nose forming the chest along with the headlights, which is a bit hard to get positioned good but creates a very good look at the end of it all. But my favorite parts is with those rear wheels, where they compress into each other. It's just so good.

Robot mode:

As mentioned above, the arms are different and much better now, and even have a new tabbing method for the swords so the hands don't angle forward. They also go the shoulder pads to have their front panels so that's also an added goodness and bit of accuracy.

The legs are pretty much the same, with the addition of maybe the posts on the undersides of his knees thay can be folded out for more accuracy.

The chest is much better looking as previously mentioned, and still retains the Matrix of Leadership gimmick so that's nice. Same with the back as well.

The head is similar to the original in that you can flip the forehead upward to spin the mouth around to a faceplated look, but he does come with a swappable face that instead of spinning around for the other look can simply have the plate fold out from behind it to cover up the mouth, and that is the one I have installed in the pictures.

Articulation: Everything can move pretty much, and nothing feels like it's gonna break, nor feels loose.

Accessories: Coming with his two swords and guns, you can pretty much recreate any scene from the first two films pretty flawlessly, with the swords tabbing into the panels that form the outside of his forearms and the guns just tab into his hands. The way the guns transform into the inside of the gas tanks and parts of the smokestacks are also just brilliant and really emphasize just how screwed people were on that original release.

Scaling: Would've shown Bee with him but decided to use Jazz instead cause why not, but he's pretty much double the height of Bee and Jazz as they stand and much more in scale than the original was. Will try to post an image with the MPM's I have to show it off as I've already hit the image limit with this post sadly.

The paint: It's all there, the gradient, the flames, the silver, it's all perfect. Only the wheels on mine are a little faded but I can fix that easily with some flat black, but this thing is beautiful and can be considered a piece of art.

The verdict: 100/100, one of the most perfect figures out there. If you ever get the chance to pick this guy up, do it. He is a great figure and an even greater centerpiece for any collection, even if you don't collect the movie figures as he can stand in as just a piece of art. If you have that original MPM Optimus and are able to get this than throw that one away (by that I mean sell or donate, don't actually throw away try to get your money for that back somehow) and never look back on it. It really is a shame that after the gorgeous figure that was MPM Bumblebee, they failed to give Optimus the proper treatment or care they gave Bee or the latter figures for that matter, as the engineering is possible as clearly shown by this figure, and Hasbro is more than willing to shell out for great figures such as G1 MP-44 Optimus who is a whooping $400 compared to the $120 MPM 4 was, whereas this retails for around $200 at the lowest. This isn't the last time they've flaked on an MPM figure either sadly, as their MPM Ratchet is in a sore need of a painting to where knockoffs look more official than it. Basically do better Hasbro, stop being bad, give us better please. You do it with G1 and Beast Wars. Why not Movie?