#procrastinates on writing by writing about writing

[kindaasrikal]

Slapping the ninja with hobbies that aren’t just ninja-ing or the already clearly stated ones because they desperately need lives

Cole seriously likes arts and crafts. He’s got his own little area in his room thats just filled with arts and crafts supplies. Glue, glitter, fabric, ribbons, sticks, gems, you name it. He creates ribbon roses, makes his own birthday cards, creates cute little designs almost all the time and gives them to all of the ninja in random little areas.

Zane actually likes taking small random items and fixing them. Nothing big like how three certain somebodies (Cough nya jay and pixal cough) do but just little things everyone owns and can’t fix. Kai accidentally broke a massive candle in a har and he ran off to find Zane to fix it, a bracelet Nya owns broke so she immediately hands it off to Zane, Lloyd breaks a tea cup and presents it to Zane with a ‘please help me.’

Jay really likes any sort of skating. Roller skating, ice skating, skateboarding, you name it he knows it and much better than you do. He takes pride in knowing the most complicated of tricks and moves, and may or may not have used his ninja training to cheat a little but we all would do that let’s be real. He sometimes starts skateboarding in the monastery and Wu may or may not have snatched it from under his feet multiple times but Jay has no proof.

Kai, after having everyone constantly talk to him about how ‘fun’ it was, got hooked onto adventure books. he reads them all, he knows all the big authors, he knows every character and every piece of lore and if he's obsessed enough he WILL buy the entire series. A guilty pleasure he got hooked onto right after was fanfiction. He reads it all.

Nya, strangely enough, got hooked onto flowers. She loves making bouquets and giving them to anyone and everyone who wants them. She’s memorised every meaning each flower has been given, and soon enough she got interested in other plants too, especially ones under water. She takes care of them like her babies and if they die she will be found sobbing in a corner holding the pot or whatever it was in.

Lloyd tripped his way into making clothes. He learnt how to sow from Misako, who was used to altering clothes for Garmadon and Wu. Lloyd specifically likes making designs on shirts and hoodies and the such, usually working with Cole on that front. You could usually find him hunched over anywhere dimly lit with a needle, a shirt, a bunch of thread and a will to make something cool. He could use the machines, but he once accidentally shoved his finger right underneath and he’s held a grudge ever since.

Bonus:

Skylor loves to write, and write she does with that uncompleted 200k original story she’s afraid no one will like, and keeps procrastinating so much that she even writes fanfiction of stuff she hasn’t been into for years. The reader named ‘redhotshot204’ keeps leaving comments though, so she supposes she should keep updating.

Morro is unashamedly good at ballet. He first learnt it for his ninja business, but he became so good at it he couldn’t let it go. He’s graceful with every step he takes and never makes any mistakes every twirl and spin and whatever and he will kick people in the face. Hard. He honestly hates tutus so he will try strangling people with it if forced to wear one, but he absolutely loves ballet shoes. Spinning around in his tip toes became an instinctual habit after a bit.

Harumi likes making jewellery, and makes them as heavy and as sharp as possible. Shes capable of making earrings, necklaces, bracelets, anklets, whatever. It mainly started because she couldn’t find the type of jewellery she wanted during her SoG years, so she began making it by herself. She even glued the spikes of her gi on herself.

Echo got interested in cars, specifically toy cars, and making them functional as actual cars. Not the most normal of hobbies but knowing who he’s related to its to be expected. He once accidentally made an evil toy car and it kept hitting everyone’s heels and ankles the entire day. Harumi ‘accidentally’ pushed Cole onto it so it would break. They had to perform a funeral because Echo was going to actually arrest them for murder if they didn’t.

Pixal got into painting. Sometimes shes slapping paint onto a canvas and then calling it a day, other times shes making something that rivals the Mona Lisa. Landscapes are what she prefers the most, often drawing the scenes they all see when going on big missions, with bright colours to show the beauty they saw. They love hanging it all up around the monastery.

[taojjang]

𐙚 christmas morning with riize .ᐟ

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ advent calendar, day twenty-five: the finale! pairing: bf!riize x reader, genre: fluff! warnings: SO MUCH LOVE </33

synopsis: how riize would make your christmas feel extra special!

a/n: merry christmas my briize friends! i hope all of you guys had an amazing christmas! the advent calendar is coming to a close, so i wanted to show my appreciation for everyone who showed support! i had so much fun writing these holiday fics and i'm glad so many of you enjoyed them <3 i still have five (and maybe a bonus winkwink) fics that i'll be posting to make up for my mini hiatus, so this will not be the last. again. thank you so much ! 🧡

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✩ shotaro ⸝⸝

shotaro is the sweetest boy in the world, so of course christmas morning would be like a dream come true! the night prior, taro snuggled up with you and stroked your hair until you fell asleep. but the second he heard your light snores, he cautiously snuck off to the living room and began his christmas magic. he grabs a huge bag of gifts he's hidden in the basement and begins wrapping all of them by the christmas tree, ensuring not to exceed the squeak of a mouse.

the next morning, you shake taro awake and press frantic kisses on his face, desperate to open the gifts you've been waiting weeks for. but once the two of you reach the living room, your excitement melts into a puddle of pure astonishment and adoration for your sweet bf :(

"surprise! merry christmas, honey!"

✩ eunseok ⸝⸝

eunseok can't help but smile every time you go on and on about how excited you are for christmas. he loves seeing that silly little grin every time he brings up the holidays so much to the point where he mentions christmas almost every few hours. your jittery anticipation is just so cute <3

but that does not mean he's nice! even though you woke up so much earlier than usual and begged him to get up and open gifts, he would shake his head and say you're not allowed to open gifts until you eat :( so he cooks this luxurious and well-balanced breakfast so good you forget all about being upset! he buys you tons and tons of clothing and jewelry so you can always think of him when you wear the pretty clothes he picked out for you <3

"you would look so pretty in this dress, darling."

✩ sungchan ⸝⸝

no matter the time of year, sungchan is always spoiling the hell out of you. you tell him about a pretty necklace you want and its at your doorstep within days. he never lets his pretty princess miss out on all the fancy things she deserves. so of course he goes all out for christmas!

when you send him your christmas wishlist, he makes sure to buy every. single. item. there is nothing he wouldn't buy you. even if you wish for a unicorn and a gun he WILL get that horse armed with the meanest glock you've ever seen. the only issue is... he's a bit of a procrastinator. after you open all of your gifts on christmas, he'll keep his head low and giggle in shame, admitting he ordered your gifts a bit late and they won't be here until mid january. but you can't even be mad at him because that silly bf of yours is the best gift you could ever ask for :(

"i'm sorry princess... i swear i got everything on your list!"

✩ wonbin ⸝⸝

wonbin being the sweet little perfectionist he is, he'll be up all night worrying if you'll like your gifts or not :( he's lying beside you, biting his nails and fretting if he got everything on your wishlist while you're out cold. but the next morning, you couldn't understand what he was worried about.

everything was like a dream. all of your gifts were wrapped in the fanciest shiny wrapping paper and even decorated with pretty silk ribbons on each box. he even put together multiple gift baskets for you, filled with all of your favorite snacks and even cute photos of the both of you :( how could he ever doubt himself when he's the best boyfriend in the world?

"did i get everything you wanted, baby? if there's anything i missed, just let me know."

✩ seunghan ⸝⸝

seunghan just can't contain his excitement! he wakes you up a little earlier than planned with dozens of kisses peppered all over your face because he's just so eager to give you your gifts :( you're a bit cranky from being woken up an hour earlier than necessary but once you begin opening his gifts, you forget every complaint you've ever had.

all of his gifts would be packed with so much love and consideration. everything was wrapped in your favorite color and even had small cards inside every single box. every gift would have a little note attached to it, telling you the silly stories of the troubles he's endured to get you that gift. some gifts would even have cute blurbs about how cute you'd look using the gift :(

"i'm sorry for waking you up early, angel... i hope these make up for it!"

✩ sohee ⸝⸝

this little sohee guy is silly alright. no matter the occasion, sohee is always gonna find a way to make you either laugh until your stomach hurts or massage your temples in frustration. he loves messing with you, so of course he had to buy an elf on the shelf this christmas. every day since december first, that elf has been nothing but a menace. some mornings he'd kindly leave a bunch of hershey kisses on the kitchen counter for you, yet other mornings he'd trash your entire room with toilet paper and call it a snowstorm.

if you didn't have a headache already, there was no way the elf would leave you alone on christmas. on christmas morning, sohee would wake you up with this silly grin on his face telling you to get ready quickly so he can show you your "gifts." but of course the frickin elf made a huge igloo out of the gift boxes, leaving it in the center of the living room and sitting on top of it with that smug smirk on his face. you couldn't lie, it was quite impressive.

"WOAH!!! HE GIFTED YOU A NEW HOUSE!!!"

(ps. you saw him on the doggy monitor getting up at 4am to make the gift igloo, but you couldn't get enough of his proud little smile so you kept quiet!)

✩ anton ⸝⸝

your baby anton is so stupidly in love with you :( he'd spend months in advance searching for the perfect gifts for you, buying everything you mention wanting. you knew about this after seeing a note on his phone with all of the items you've spoken about, but you didn't expect this christmas to be even more exciting than you'd concluded.

he would be super duper excited to give you the gifts he prepared because they're just so heartwarming </3 anton would handcraft those mementos of his favorite photos of you and your favorite flowers. everything would even be wrapped in your favorite color with silly little stickers all over them :( anton never misses even the smallest details about you. he does all of this for you but even if you got him just a simple hoodie, he'd probably tear up (yes he's a loser for you).

"you deserve even more than this, my love."

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⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ tag list! (ask or comment to be added!)

@endtostartbreathin @gacktsa @hanninova @ramyeonzprincess @taroddori

[dragon-watcher03]

You want a request I'll give you a request 🫡

Could you please write a bihan x wife!reader where she gave birth to triplets? How our ice boy would react to it?

I'm alive-

Bi-han x Wife!Reader

Note: y'all I'm so sorry for being dead for like, idk, 4 months. I've had writers block and have been procrastinating HARD but I'm back now :)

When you first found out, safe to say he was discombobulated. Shocked. Frazzledazzled. And most of all, he's worried about you and how you'll manage. He'd definitely make you stay in bed when you're 4 months in. You have to carry the weight of 3 likely hefty babies, since he made sure you were well fed.

When the day arrives, my boy would be worried about you the most. You just pushed 3 babies out of you, are you okay? Of course he also cares about the babies, as daunting as it was to him that there are 3. Those are still his children, but you are also his wife. You'd come first.

He made sure to ask the doctors to keep track of which baby came out first so he knows which one is his heir. Whether they're a boy or girl, I don't think he cares.

He's much softer with you after you give birth, making sure to get the best doctors to take care of you and the babies.

He'd probably take the stressful task of finding baby names, and he might name one of the girls (if you have one) after his mother. But that's probably the only name he was positive about, the rest needed days to think over.

He's hopeful that at least the first born has his ice powers or whatever powers you have. He'd be a tad bit disappointed if they don't but he'll still keep them as his heir, since it is their birth right.

If all 3 of the babies are boys, he might be reminded of him, Kuai Liang, and Tomas. He'll become a little quiet after that.

He vowed to try and not end up like his father, because look at how that turned out-

Overall, a very attentive but terrified husband that doesn't know how he's gonna manage 3 babies

[thedemonsurfer]

Okay, yes, but also no.

This is a very useful series of checkpoints, but it presents the idea that you need to have a complex structure set up before you can begin writing.

And I dunno about you, but that kinda thing just doesn't work for me. So imma try to revise things into something that might be more useful.

How Do I Plot A Book (like this fool right here)?

0. You Are The Master Of Your Own Destiny

Whenever I talk about making an outline, folks always seem to shrivel up like shrinky dinkys at the idea of being 'limited'. But, here's the thing:

You wrote the outline.

You can change the outline at any time.

Keep this in mind at all times. Is a scene you planned not working? Ditch it. Came up with a new idea? Add it into the outline. The outline isn't a static cage that you HAVE to stick to, it's a roadmap to help keep you from getting lost, written by YOU.

Start with an idea

Okay agreed, 100%, but also a little redundant if you're looking up how to plot a story. I assume you came here with an idea in hand already.

2. Outline your Plot Structure

Introduction STOP. Pull up your writing medium of choice: a word processing program, the notes app on your phone, a piece of paper. Got it? Good. I want you to write down 4 things for me.

What is this story about? Examples:

A disgraced war hero adopts an orphan who resembles the demon he failed to defeat.

A should-be-dead man escapes a magical prison, but frees more than just himself; also there's kissing.

A kid meets a friendly robot who helps him escape an elaborate trap; they become family.

Where does this story start? What is the Really Cool Thing in the middle? Where does this story end?

These key points (Beginning, Middle, End, and Core Concept) are the backbone of the story. More importantly, they are words on the paper.

Congratulations, you have started plotting your story for real!

3. Take Notes

Start writing down information you think is important. This includes world-building facts, character trivia, and plot points that you'd like to hit. Do not worry about being thorough! I know you've sat there and daydreamed up some stuff already, so start writing it down.

For plot points, try to arrange them in roughly chronological order as you think of it now-- but be open to changing things in the future. The more ideas you come up with, the easier it is to figure out where the next one slots in.

4. Tell A Friend, Sort Of

Start writing out your story as if you're telling it to a friend. You can use an actual friend for this, but you have to use a medium that keeps records (so type it, don't speak it aloud unless you're also recording yourself).

Don't worry about structure or fancy headings or terms like 'falling action'. Ideally the format should be something like "Okay so there's a guy, and he used to be the Count of this city-state, right? But then he caused a curse so he got locked in a magic prison for like 10 years. And then this other guy, actually the Count's Doctor-- he ends up finding him in a pub after he escaped that prison". And so on and so forth.

It's okay if you don't have everything yet! You just started, you'll have time to work things out later. The important part is that you summarize the events you want to see happen, in chronological order. If your story is episodic rather than having a continuous narrative, bullet points of things you want to see happen works just as well.

Congratulations, you've started your outline!

5. Add, Revise, Rinse, Repeat

Here's where things get personal-- as in, it depends on how you, personally, write best, and my advice might become extra useless. But basically: look at what you need and then give it to yourself.

Are you most comfortable writing chronologically? Then take a look at your outline and see if you have enough information to start writing the story from the beginning. If not, head to your notes section and do some more daydreaming until you know how you want to begin, then start writing.

Do you not have a clear idea of the beginning, but you do have some scenes strongly in mind? Go ahead and write them now! At worst you'll have to scrap the scene later, but you'll have something down, and you can use that something to build other things.

Do you have dialogue for some scenes, but not the action? Well go ahead and write the dialogue! Put in a brief summary of what the action around it should be ("it's night time and he's mad about getting stabbed") and then go. Same thing with description with no clear dialogue-- summarize what should be there, but leave it for later.

Always be adding to your notes, revising your outline, adding more scenes you think would be cool. Try out different ideas, see if events can't be moved around. The further you get the more solid things will become.

6. Some Experience Needed

A lot of the stuff in the original essay, like foreshadowing, subplots, etc; aren't things you can just sit down and come up with on the fly. Sure, you can think of one or two, maybe, but inspiration tends to hit in the moment, when you realize 'oh shit I can tie these things together here, and that becomes foreshadowing over there'.

Unfortunately, the only way to get better with those kinds of things is experience. Pay attention to some of your favorite stories and see how they did things, and really analyze why it worked on you. Write down notes: what did the character do here? what happened there? how was this bit foreshadowing?

7. Pacing

Pacing gets its own category because I legitimately don't know how you're supposed to learn this any way other than experience and intuition. If you write a lot, eventually you will get a feel for 'this scene is too fast' or 'there needs to be a longer gap between these events". As far as I know there are no shortcuts, just tens of thousands of words under your belt. Don't worry about it for now, just do your best, and you will improve.

8. General Advice

Start a graveyard document. Eventually you will write a scene that just does not work for whatever reason. Instead of trying to force it to fit so you don't lose all that work, move it to a separate document. If you've ever heard the term 'kill your darlings', this is what it's referring to: cutting a section that you really like because it's not working.

Don't kill your darlings, rehome them. You'll be surprised at how much easier it is to accept. You can can always pull a scene back in if you find a new place for it, or mine it for tidbits.

You will get stuck. Accept this. You will always be able to find your way back out. Maybe you'll have to delete a previous section because you wrote yourself into a dead end, maybe you'll have to leave it for another day, maybe you just need to talk it over with someone.

It does not have to be perfect the first time. Or the second, or third. I'm most familiar with writing fanfiction, which is published pretty raw-- but normal books aren't published chapter by chapter with the ink still drying. Normally you finish your draft, then go back months later and revise the whole thing. If what you're writing is a more traditional book, you can always fix things later. If you're writing a fic, you can still fix things later.

It's okay to give up. Maybe you've changed your mind and you don't like your story anymore. That's fine! Save it somewhere and then forget about it. Don't delete it, just keep it. Maybe one day you'll come back-- and if not, you still have the experience from your attempt!

However, try to stick with it. You know your brain best; if you know you're prone to fits of self depreciation and feeling like what you make is 'bad', try to ride those out before giving up. Maybe your story is fine, actually, and your brain just hates you extra hard right now.

Writing is fucking hard. Inspiration can only get you so far, there are going to be points when you're slogging through it a word at a time. This is normal, you aren't struggling because you're 'bad'.

There is no such thing as wasted effort. All effort is experience, all experience is growth.

Uuuh yeah that's what i got, happy writing

How do i Plot a Book?

1. Start with an Idea:

Begin with a clear idea or concept for your story. This could be a theme, a character, a setting, or a unique scenario.

2. Outline Your Plot Structure:

- Introduction: Set the stage by introducing your main character, the setting, and the initial situation.

- Inciting Incident: Present a problem or event that disrupts the status quo and sets the story in motion.

- Rising Action: Develop the plot by introducing conflicts, challenges, and obstacles that the protagonist faces.

- Climax: Reach the story's highest point of tension and conflict where the protagonist confronts the main challenge.

- Falling Action: Address the aftermath of the climax, tying up loose ends and resolving subplots.

- Conclusion: Provide a resolution to the main conflict, wrap up the story, and show the character's growth or change.

3. Create Well-Defined Characters:

- Develop your main character (protagonist) with clear goals, motivations, and flaws.

- Introduce supporting characters with distinct personalities and roles in the story.

4. World-Building:

If your story is set in a unique or fictional world, develop the setting, rules, and details necessary for readers to understand the environment.

5. Conflict and Stakes:

Ensure that your story has compelling conflicts that drive the plot forward. Make the stakes clear to the reader.

6. Subplots:

Develop subplots that add depth and complexity to your story and intersect with the main plot at various points.

7. Foreshadowing:

Use foreshadowing to hint at future events and create suspense.

8. Pacing:

Balance action, dialogue, and introspection to control the pace of your story. Speed up or slow down as needed for dramatic effect.

9. Themes and Messages:

Consider the themes or messages you want to convey through your story and how the plot can reflect them.

10. Outline Chapter by Chapter:

Create a chapter-by-chapter outline that details what will happen in each section of your book. This doesn't need to be overly detailed, but it can serve as a roadmap.

11. Writing and Revising:

Start writing your book based on your outline. Be open to changes and revisions as your story develops.

[littlecrittereli]

I am not who I was

Alt Version:

It's been a while since I drew Chris prior to Decoded... Also this rendering is ass, I am not good at shaDING ASJDAKDS

[silverseaming]

character ask game 💌

because i have story brainrot and i'm sure you do too! a couple of these are more aimed at historical storytellers because that's what i'm interested in, but of course this game is open to all <3

historical

🗽- do you think your character's story would fit into any other time period? if so, which?

🕯 - does your character conform to the expectations of someone like them during their time period?

🕰 - what made you pick your character's career? how was it influenced by the time period they live in?

🏛 - what would be most different about your character if they lived in modern times?

⚖ - what's a historical trope you're leaning into with this character?

🎻 - what's a historical trope you're leaning away from with this character?

(thank you @auspexsims for some of these 🥰)

relationships

👪 - does your character have a good relationship with their family?

👰 - what are your character's views on marriage?

💏 - what are your character's views on relationships?

💗 - which relationship in your character's life is the healthiest?

💔 - which relationship in your character's life is the most unhealthy?

👩🏼‍🤝‍🧑🏾 - does your character have many close friends? do they make friends easily?

personal

🎭 - what are your character's morals?

🗡- what would it take for your character to go completely against their morals?

🌑 - what does your character think is their biggest flaw?

⚡ - what is actually your character's biggest flaw?

🧨 - what is your character like when they're at their worst?

☀ - what makes your character the happiest?

👀 - what is the first thing strangers would notice about your character?

📈 - what is your character's biggest motivator?

other

🖼 - create a moodboard that represents your character

🃏 - wildcard! whoever sent you this gives you free rein to answer whichever prompt you want

[vivika-ka]

fixated on the fact that Luffy’s heartbeat is referred to as “drums of liberation,” which means Law not only held the divine instrument of freedom in his hands, he also healed it.

[inumbrapugnabimus-maybe]

here have this very messy doodle of wild

[humans-are-space-orcs-posts]

humans are weird -rollercoasters

*if you're seeing this and do not have a rank of at least 2 stop the recording now or there will be consequences* *This is audio excerpt 00-2 from the ongoing intergalactic relations project*

Quinn(A): Hey, Edith?

Edith(H): What?

Quinn: I was looking at that thing you called the internet right?

Edith: Okay???

Quinn: Well I saw these videos of what looks like people getting in line to be tortured and I know that doesn't make any sense so I thought I'd ask you about it before jumping to any conclusions. I even saw one of the humans asking their parental figure to go again afterwards and I cannot understand it.

Edith: uhhh, let me see what video you're talking about.

*rollercoaster video*

Edith: Okay soooo that's just a attraction at a theme park. People go on rides like that because It's supposed to be fun.

Quinn: ...but the humans on it are screaming and don't look like they're happy????

Edith: Oh yeah they look scared because they are, that's a key part of enjoying the ride.

Quinn: WHAT?!? YOU MEAN TO TEEELLLL ME THAT AFTER ALL THIS TIME OF ME JUMPING TO REASONABLE CONCLUSIONS BASED ON THE INFORMATION I WAS GIVEN AND BEING TOLD I WAS ABSURD AND BEING RIDICULED FOR MY "INSANE JUMPS IN LOGIC"-

I WAS RIGHT THIS TIME!!!

YOUR SPECIES ENJOYS THE TORTUOUS CONTRAPTION???

Edith: Well, not all of us. I'm personally not a fan of them, I've heard too many stories of them breaking down mid-ride and causing accidents to get on them.

Quinn:...THEY'RE NOT EVEN GURANTEED TO BE SAFE!?! DEAR LORDS HOW HAVE YOU PEOPLE LIVED THIS LONG-

*end of excerpt*

*post recording*

Upon furthur investigation, rollarcoasters induce the release of a hormone called addrenaline in the human riders. Despite this hormone having once been crucial to the species early survival it is no longer as commonly produced in their natural lives as it once was. One scientist has theorized that rollarcoasters and other "thrill-seeking" behaviour might be the species way of fulfilling some sort of instinct but more research is needed to confirm or deny this theory.

*end of post recording*

[kennysdeadbody]

dead boyfriend

[unforth]

I had a day off yesterday.

And I can already practically hear the assumptions that such a statement is prompting the reader to make. Those assumptions are wrong. I don't mean I didn't work. I did, for about 8 hours. That's not at all what I mean.

I mean my wife took the kids out at 9:30, spent the night with her mom, isn't back yet the next morning.

There are things I NEED people on this website to understand about parenting. And I've talked about it before, and I'll talk about it again, because honestly the way that Tumblr as a cohort talks about parents makes me sick. Multiple polls have shown that only about 2% of people on here are parents. We're a huge minority, and we're constantly talked over, ignored, or accused of being bad parents (like, personally, I have had people reply to my comments or come on to my posts and tell me I shouldn't have my kids). In my case, being a parent means I'm almost 41, I'm married to @ramblingandpie, and our children are inching up on being 8 and 6 years old.

My entire day, and therefore my entire life, revolves around them. I'm up most mornings at 5 AM, because that's the earliest they're "allowed" to wake up, and so my brain just defaults to being awake around then - better to wake up before them, at least then I get a few minutes in the morning. Between 5 and 7, I sit with them, do my social media, work on side blogs, study Chinese. Then it's helping them get ready for school, then my wife or I or both get them on the bus, and then I work until the last possible minute, which is either when I need to go pick them up for an after school activity or when I need to go down and meet them off the bus. My afternoons are after school activities, chores such as washing the dishes and cleaning up toys, talking with them, working with them, playing with them. Their bedtime starts at 7:40, and my son gets scared if I leave before he falls asleep so I sit with him until about 8:15. As soon as he's asleep, I go fall on my face, sleep as best I can, then wake up and do it again. Overnight, it's hard to sleep deeply, because about once a week someone will wake up in the middle of the night and need help. That could be as minimal as a hug or as complex as having to completely change the bedding on a bunk bed at 2 AM while also comforting a child who is afraid they'll be in trouble, or afraid they're sick, or afraid of their nightmare, or, or, or. Further, if a child is awake, there is always noise. I usually study Chinese with two or more competing sources of noise. I read the same way. My life is loud, and active, and consists of constant interruptions.

I adore my family, and I love my children, but this is terrible for me.

I do all of this as an neurodivergent introvert. My clinical depression is at least medicated, mostly because post-partum depression after I gave birth the first time nearly drove me to suicidal in under a week (we were expecting this and were prepared, fortunately, getting help was as simple as a phone call). The constant noise and interruptions and forced socialibility are about the worst combination of home-life I could be subjected to. I spend far too many early mornings just breathing deeply and gearing myself up to be subjected to the wall of Loud, Boisterous, Needing-My-Attention that is every minute when anyone else in the house is awake.

So what did my day off look like?

I helped get the kids ready to go and did some morning chores. I'd been up at 4:30 AM so I also had already social media'd and studied. Then, while my wife finished the preparations, I started work, and I worked from about 8 am to about 4 pm, straight. I didn't get hungry so didn't bother stopping for lunch. No one interrupted me, no one asked me to look at anything they'd built, no one broke my concentration, no sounds could be heard except those I'd chosen myself.

I'd been out the day before at a local shopping street and listened closely to the things the kids said they wanted, so at 4 I grabbed a couple orders I needed to ship for work and drove to our local downtown, dropped the orders in a post box, then went back to the shops and did some Christmas shopping in the 45 minutes or so before everything closed. I think I'm basically done with what we'll get them - other bigger things will be left to grand parents - so that's a load off, I literally had a stress dream earlier this week about it being 12/24 and having forgotten to do the shopping and having to go to (oh horrors) the mall on the day before Christmas. (Reminder: I'm a Jewish atheist. It's just virtually impossible not to Holiday in the Culturally Christian Hellscape that is the US. Also, my wife is Christian. So.) Found something cute for my wife, too, even tho I already know the main thing I'm getting her. Then, I realized - one of my favorite restaurants is on that block. So. I went there. I sat by myself at a table, only the indistinct restaurant hubbub around me. I read four or five chapters of my book, and ate a savory crepe, and drank lovely fruit tea, and got a scone to-go that I'll eat for lunch today. It was more than I probably should have spent on myself - about $25, including tip - but fuck it. I only get maybe a handful of days off all year, and I'm allowed to indulge a little.

Then I came home. There were no lights on. There was no noise. I had considered doing some more merch work while watching TV on the actual television (my kids are too young for subtitled shows, so usually if I want to watch My Shows I either have to do it on my computer when they're not around, or put them on and read all the subtitles aloud while trying to keep up and process the actual meaning of what I'm reading). But when I got back, the quiet and dark was so goddamn NICE that instead I curled up on the couch and read more of my book. I did that until bedtime - still about 8:15, because I'm exhausted. Then...I went to bed. And I slept long and deep, knowing that there was no chance I'd be interrupted and woken up, I didn't have to be, even in sleep, alert to every noise and possibility that I'd be needed.

I'm still exhausted and burned out, but even one night to myself felt really, really nice.

Saying "Tumblr does X" as a universal statement is doomed to failure, but generally speaking, the parenting posts I see on Tumblr, the ones with tens or hundreds of thousands of notes, speak what's apparently widely seen as a truism on here: that unless someone wants to spend 24/7 with their kids, to be 100% emotionally available at all times, is always kind and patient and perfect, they are a bad parent, maybe even abusive. I remember when covid started, there were multiple posts actively mocking the "oh god, my kids are now home all the time, how am I supposed to do this?" attitude that a lot of parents posted in despair. WhY dId YoU hAvE kIdS iF yOu DoN't WaNt To SpEnD tImE wItH tHeM?

Look at what my usual day looks like.

Look at what my day off looked like.

Do you really think I don't want to spend time with my kids? Do you really think I don't love my kids?

But I'm not a fucking MACHINE. I'm a PERSON. That's what people on Tumblr seem to forget. PARENTS ARE PEOPLE. The same tumblrinas who post ~uwu be kind to yourself rest if you need to, you should forgive yourself for that mistake you made~ will turn around, with zero sense of irony, and post "you're a bad parent if you ever raise your voice around a child."

Expecting parents to be perfect means expecting parents to be inhuman. It also means that a parent can't be poor (can't spend all your time being the perfect parent if you have to work multiple jobs or weird hours!), can't be introverted (can't be a perfect parent if you're not completely emotional available, god forbid socializing is exhausting for you), can't be on the ADHD or autism spectrum (what do you mean you forgot to get your kid to a doctor's appointment once? what do you mean over-stimulation can make you angry? how dare you get angry at a kid!), can't be depressed (gotta get out of bed every single day, gotta always be upbeat, patient, happy, or else that's Evil), can't be (like my wife) physically disabled (what do you mean your hands hurt too much to hold a child's hand? are you denying them touch?? CRUEL). And when the only answer you can offer to that is, "if you can't be that perfect you shouldn't be a parent," then you're saying people who aren't middle class to wealthy, people who aren't neurotypical, people who aren't physically able, shouldn't have children.

And honestly...what the fuck is your problem?

I'm not perfect. I tell my kids to just leave me alone sometimes. I raise my voice, especially when one of my kids starts punching the other, but also sometimes just cause I'm exhausted and Can't Anymore. I've forgotten an appointment by accident and felt like a total fucking idiot, and I've skipped an after school activity because I just wasn't up for taking them. I've served them more unbalanced, unhealthy meals than I can count. I've made many, many mistakes, but I've also done my best, and I love my kids, and I hope that when they grow up, they'll still love me even as they recognize that I wasn't perfect, just as I've come to accept my own parents' short-comings while still loving them very much. They're people, too, and the older I get, the more I understand where they were coming from.

When I fuck up, I apologize.

When they tell me they're unhappy with something I've done, I apologize, and I try to do better. Sometimes I even succeed.

This shit is hard, yo. And it's getting harder every year.

I'm BEGGING Tumblr: you need to start seeing parents as people. The way y'all talk about parenting on here is toxic, and genuinely harmful, and frankly exhausting. You have no idea what the reality of raising kids is like, and you need to shut the entire fuck up.

I had a day off yesterday.

I might get one more before the end of 2023.

I already can't wait. I am so, so, so tired. sigh

(if you actually read this whole rant and even a single word of it resonated for you, please reblog it. I'm tired of never seeing positive posts about parenting while I see negative ones with a bajillion notes.)

[vykio]

“You are not subtle.”

Neil shifts his gaze from his palm to Andrew’s face. Andrew is standing at the door with two mugs of coffee, one in each hand, and Neil grins up wide at him.

“No,” he agrees, then makes space on the bed for Andrew. Andrew walks up and sets the mugs on the floor by the foot of his bed. He points at Neil, then at the mugs. Neil nods his acknowledgment and Andrew climbs into the bed. He takes advantage of still being upright to lean down and steal a kiss, which Neil is more than happy to return.

Andrew lies on his back after a minute and Neil lifts his hand up between them, an invitation. Andrew slides his fingers into his, then tucks their clasped hands against his stomach.

Neil is not someone who needs affection. They kiss and touch and exist near each other, and that is enough, but he has a fascination with Andrew’s hand. Yours, Neil had said once, when Andrew let him inspect his hands closely; steady, he’d said another time, pushing their palms together before tangling their fingers like this. Andrew isn’t the type to need affection either, but the serene smile this puts on Neil’s face sometimes satisfies him enough to oblige.

[wispythreads]

Tali is the only character so far that has an appropriate reaction to hearing that the ship has an artificial intelligence after everything we learned from the first game.

There was literally an AI on the Citadel that would rather blow itself up and the discoverer with it than allow itself to be known for what it was. Because it would be certain death regardless for that AI. If you want to de-escalate the situation and resolve things peacefully, you're companions will pipe up about the fact that you can't.

"Commander, AIs are universally illegal. They must be destroyed upon contact, without exception." - Garrus

But here we are in Mass Effect 2 and everyone prior to Tali has just been responding with:

"Huh neat :)"

or

"Oh that's handy! :)"

Like. Bruh.

Are we still in the same world?? Extremely illegal tech??? No negative reaction until we get to the Quarian whose entire species has been severely punished by the consequences of the accidental creation of AI, said punishment delivered by the hands of their very own creations???

And even still it's only a quiet reaction. She looks back, already pissed off just from being in the presence of Cerberus trying to play nice with her. You can feel the disbelief and rage at the gall of him just bringing the ship's AI up casually. But she doesn't say anything. I feel like that should've been a blow up moment.

"What did he just say this ship had."

[connorfrost]

Yknow what my brain feels like it’s melting out my skull so I’m going to share a headcanon that brings me such comfort in these trying times.

Wanderer 100% gets migraines. You cannot convince me otherwise.

Like he got bonked on the head REAL FUCKING HARD after his free trial of godhood, I’d be so surprised if he didn’t have some sort of chronic pain after that.

And you KNOW he’d be so stubborn about it too- probably wouldn’t say anything is wrong until he physically couldn’t hide it anymore (aka literally me as a child- I would wait to tell someone until I threw up)

But when Nahida finds out she’s so sweet to him, probably does her dream magic thing to give him good dreams as he rests and puts on ice pack on his head. (Would give him painkillers if he wanted them but. Dottore trauma. So he probably wouldn’t take them.)

Anyways I’m going to crawl back into my cave

[strangersteddierthings]

Porcelain Steve - Part 5

Part One🦇Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four🦇Part Five🦇Part Six🦇Part Seven🦇Part Eight🦇Part Nine

"Get a grip," Eddie mutters to himself as he places the phone back onto its cradle for the fourth time that day without having made a phone call. He paces back and forth in front of the phone, one, two, three full lines across the room and back before he picks up the phone, dials the Henderson's number, lets it ring one and a half times, then slams the phone down again before someone can answer.

He thinks he's losing it a little. All this time he thought he was the level-headed one but now that it's been two full days of not seeing Porcelain Steve, he thinks he's going to climb the walls and start ripping up the carpets. Logically he knows that nothing has happened. If something had, he would have heard from Dustin already, either by phone or over the walkie (which may or may not be on him at all times, volume as loud as it goes). They wouldn't leave him in the dark.

Right?

Right. Right.

He picks up the phone again, dialing the Buckley house instead.

Robin's dad answers, which is great. Robin's mom likes to play 20 Questions before handing the phone off. He keeps meaning to ask Robin if her mom does that for everyone that calls, or if he's just the lucky one. Robin's dad is a straightforward guy. He wants to know who is calling, and who they want to talk to.

"Robin is out, but I can give her a message, Eddie," Mr. Buckley says.

"Yes, please. Sir. Just let her know I called."

"Will do. Goodbye."

He listens to the dial tone for a few seconds before setting the phone down for the sixth time in less than 15 minutes. He has got to do something to keep busy or the carpets are toast.

Usually when he's this restless he bothers his friends, but Jeff is out of town on a family vacation, no one answered the phone at Gareth's house (first person he called this morning), and Brian has a summer job taking up his time, so now he's left to figure out distractions on his own.

His room is filled with distractions, but nothing that can claim his attention for too long. He puts a cassette in the player but doesn't turn it up to the volume that usually calms him because he doesn't want to miss hearing the phone ring. He'd been trying to distract himself with campaign planning and keeps getting off track with the fantasy that this would be the campaign he could convince Steve to at least hang out and observe, if not play in one or two sessions as an over-powered NPC.

Even Return of the King can't hold his attention for more than two pages, even if he flips through to read just his favorite parts because his mind immediately plays word association games which leads to thinking of Steve.

It hits Eddie then that he misses Steve. He misses climbing into Steve's car and bitching about whatever station Steve's set the radio on playing the Top 40. He misses late night smoke sessions where Steve seems to soften under his high and the night sky as they lay atop the trailer close enough to touch and talk about nothing. He misses being able to steal glances at Steve when he throws his head back to laugh hysterically at something he or Robin had said.

He misses Steve so intensely and fiercely that it sits like a rock in his stomach. He would give anything to hear Steve's voice again.

Oh. Oh no. He needs distraction from his thoughts now.

He successfully managed to hem and haw about his room for almost an hour before he marches back out to the living room and the phone set on the end table next to Wayne's recliner. Picks it up then sets it down again, turning on heel to the kitchen. Maybe breakfast (a glance to the clock on the wall tells him the time is 12:50, so maybe it's actually lunch) will be a sufficient time sink.

He pulls out all the fixings of a PB&J and is in the process of searching for a clean(ish) butter knife when three rapid knocks startle him, freezing him in place for a moment.

The knocking happens again, five quick raps this time, but Eddie was already making his way to the door by the third this time. There is a thought in the back of his mind that rises, unbidden, oh God, something's happened and it makes him wrench the door open with more force than necessary.

Robin stands on his porch, but not for long. She's got a backpack on and a grocery bag hanging off of one arm and when Eddie just blinks at her in a moment of confusion, she huffs and bullies her way inside. He full body turns, closing the door as he does so, to watch her deposit the bag, then backpack, onto the couch.

"Uh, hi?" Eddie manages as he watches her begin to unload the things she brought. A box of microwave popcorn, an obscene amount of candy bars, an assortment of nail polishes, and more but his attention is dragged up to the side of Robin's face when she starts talking, pulling out VHS tapes, clearly rented from Family Video.

"So, I brought a few options for us. Halloween because it was your most rented film back when Steve and I still worked there, so I thought it was a safe bet. Also go The Black Cauldron because you strike me as a Black Cauldron kind of guy, The Hidden Fortress because it's one of my favorites and you might enjoy it, too, and Top Gun, because, well, it might serve as a good distraction for a bit," Robin holds up each tape as she lists them off, setting them on the coffee table next to the assorted stuff she brought with. "Also got, like, a manicure set and some scrunchies and bobby pins. Not really sure how occupied you need to be right now."

"Uh.... what?"

Robin rolls her eyes like Eddie's slow on the uptake, "Distraction. I'm here to provide it. Though, maybe I should have called and asked what you do when you want to kill time. I just... defaulted to what Steve and I do. Movies and makeovers, but, like, if that doesn't work that's fine. It's just, you've joined us before on movie makeover nights, so I assumed..."

Eddie swallows pushing down the knot threatening to form in his throat. It's not a shock (anymore) that he's truly friends with Robin, but sometimes it's not at the forefront of his mind. When he thinks of friends, Jeff, Gareth, and Brian come to mind first. They've years of history together, after all. What he's got with Robin, and everyone else, is deeper than just friendship, the shared secret of Spring Break '86 that's made them all ride or die. So, now, with Robin showing up, instinctively wanting to help because they're friends even without Steve as a buffer, it just kinda rocks Eddie emotionally.

"No, it's great. I just- how did you know?"

Robin cocks her head at him, "You didn't leave a message."

He's not sure what facial expression he makes but everything about Robin softens just a bit. It's so reminiscent of how she is with Steve in the soft, quiet moments when she thinks no one else is paying attention to her and Steve. (Eddie's always paying attention.)

"Oh, dingbat," She says it softly and with a shake of her head before grabbing the popcorn box and ripping it open. She fishes out a packet and tosses it to him. "Get that going. I'm putting in Top Gun."

Wordlessly, Eddie obeys. He wants to ask more questions. What's the look for? Since when does she call him dingbat? What is happening? He throws the bag into the microwave, then remembers the PB&J he was attempting to make earlier. He makes two sandwiches, pausing only to dump the popcorn into a bowl once the microwave beeps. He puts the sandwiches on a plate to make carrying everything easier and joins Robin on the couch.

She accepts the offered sandwich with glee and they watch the first half hour of Top Gun in silence before Eddie gets his words gathered.

"How did you know?" He asks again.

"My dad," she says like a confession, not even needing Eddie to elaborate what he means, "it's, like, the highlight of his day when I miss a call from you. He's so overdramatic about delivering it, all bowing at me and repeating whatever lame thing you said like the esteemed Mister Munson has called to inquire if the lovely Lady Robin would like to partake on an outing the afternoon overmorrow or whatever shit you decide to sprout. Who says 'overmorrow' anyway? So, when I got back from helping mom grocery shop, he just... he pulled the grocery bags from my hands and told me 'I think Eddie needs you'."

He's only met the Buckley's face to face a few times. They don't hang out at Robin's house much so he's a bit shocked that Mr. Buckley even picked up Eddie's dramatics enough to notice something was off.

"My parents are a bit overprotective and overbearing sometimes but they care and listen," Robin says, "so when you called and seemed to different to what my dad is used to hearing- well, I asked to borrow his car, and made a quick pitstop. I was just kind of banking on the fact you need a distraction the same way I do."

He understands what Robin isn't actually saying. "From thinking about Steve."

She nods, "yeah. I know Dustin would never let anything happen to him, but it still leaves me jittery when I don't see him. Especially since the last time I went two days without seeing Steve he- well, he turned into a porcelain doll."

"I thought I was doing okay with all this, you know?" Eddie finds himself saying. "But I'm not. And it's so fucking stupid. It's not like I'm the only one who cares about Steve, or is worried, but- And it's not that I don't trust Dustin to keep him safe. I just- it's..."

"It's different. How you feel about Steve, how Dustin feels about Steve, and how I do. It's all different."

Eddie freezes. He's never- they don't talk about it. He's only said it out loud to three people. Wayne, Jeff, and his father. The last one landed him in the hospital and Wayne's custody so it's not a secret he lets out lightly.

"Dustin's his brother," Robin continues, either unaware of how Eddie's basically quit breathing or choosing to ignore it, "but he's also a dumb teenage boy. He'd never let anything happen to Steve, but that's not a guarantee that nothing will happen. I worry, too. I want to just take Steve and wrap him in bubble wrap, put him in a box, wrap that in bubble wrap, then put that in a bigger box and set him in the middle of an empty room where nothing could accidentally fall over onto the box."

He huffs out a laugh at the mental image that conjures up. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Robin says before sucking her lips between her teeth, then pushing them out with a pop! sound, seeming to think over something. He watches as she mentally braces herself, the physical tales of her shifting to face him more, shoulders tensing, leg bouncing slightly. "So anyway, it's different, how we feel about Steve. Dustin loves him. I love him. And you... You're in love with him."

Even though they're inside his own home, Eddie still jerks back and looks around, for anyone who might hear what Robin is accusing him of. "Listen, Buckley, you can't believe every rumor you hear ab-"

"Eddie," she says, holding one hand out, palm up, "stop. Give me your hand and make terrible, awkward eye contact with me for, like, five seconds, please. It's important."

Eddie, very slowly, slips his hand onto hers, and she covers it with her free hand and, as promised, they make awkward eye contact.

"I'm a lesbian," she blurts out and immediately looks away from Eddie's face, letting out a deep sigh of relief.

And Eddie? Well, he laughs. It starts as just a snort but then it grows. And Jesus, it's such an awful response to Robin coming out to him, but he can't stop. He knows that Robin has gifted him with this trust, with knowledge that could get her murdered, and he should not be laughing.

Robin, for her part, takes it well. There's a few seconds of startled silence from her before she barks out her own laugh. Eddie laughs so hard and for so long he thinks he's going to puke, and Robin almost falls off the couch.

"Jesus Christ," is what he can manage to say once he's caught his breath.

"Jesus Christ," she echoes in a quieter voice.

Top Gun plays on in the background.

Eddie still can't say it out loud, so instead he says, "am I that obvious?"

"No. But I can recognize the signs of trying to hide a massive crush on someone of the same gender. You know, with all the experience I have at it."

"You are far better at hiding that then me I guess. I had no clue about you."

She shrugs, "yeah, well, it's not like we hang around a lot of girls for me to crush on. It's you, me, and Steve. Occasionally a kid or five. No offense, but I'd rather die than look at any of you lustfully."

Eddie fakes gagging at the thought.

Robin swats his arm playfully. "Anyway, what I'm saying is, I get that it makes you feel a little crazy not being around Steve. Especially when he's, like, literally unable to protect himself currently. I feel like that, too. He's my soulmate and no one knows me as well as he does. It's... lonely without him."

"So... Steve knows...?"

"Oh yeah. Me telling him it what I think kicked off our real friendship."

"I thought all the shit that happened at Star Court did that."

"That's when I told him. After barfing into a toilet."

"Gross."

"It really was. Steve took it so well. Then he mocked me for my crush."

"Which was...?"

"Absolutely not telling you. Anyway. That's enough mushy talky time. Paint my nails," she says, leaning over to grab a yellow nail polish off the coffee table.

Eddie holds out his hand to take it. He's not even going to pretend he doesn't want to.

Silence falls over them, a comfortable one. Eddie doesn't feel like climbing the walls much anymore, so Robin's distraction is working. Maybe it's just the not being alone in the trailer anymore. Maybe it's the knowing he's not alone anymore.

Maybe it's also knowing that Steve knows about Robin and still loves her.

(Funny that Steve just happened to find and befriend the probably only two queer people in all of Hawkins.)

They put in The Hidden Fortress next and Robin talks through almost the whole thing, telling him facts and that this next part is actually her favorite part.

By the time Robin leaves, well after nightfall, Eddie is feeling more settled.

[coldresolve]

How to Write a Schizoid Character

Schizoid Personality Disorder (SzPD) affects an estimated 1% of the population, similar to rates of autism, but is widely overlooked both in real life and in fiction - to the point where it is often colloquially labelled "the silent disorder". This is a somewhat comprehensive guide in how to write a character with SzPD, from someone who has it.

Quick research guide

I'm writing this guide with the underlying assumption that you've already done some cursory reading into the basics of SzPD. At this point, you need to understand two things: One is that this disorder is incredibly poorly researched, due to schizoids often not seeking treatment for the disorder itself (they sometimes seek treatment for comorbidities like depression or anxiety); and two, as a result of this, there is a lot of over-simplified misinformation out there about SzPD. This disorder often gets boiled down, even by mental health professionals, to the DSM-V or IDC-10 diagnostic criteria, which are criticised widely in the schizoid community for being incredibly superficial descriptions of overt SzPD. This is the kind of case where you need to seek out the SzPD specialists or the schizoids themselves for information about the disorder.

Akhtar's profile is a good overview. Psychologist Elinor Greenberg has a quora where she answers all sorts of questions about SzPD, and she typically hits the nail on the head. Other resources include Schizoid Angst, a youtube channel run by a man who has SzPD (this convo in particular is really good). If you're interested in a deep dive, I recommend reading The Divided Self by R.D. Laing for a deeper understanding of the inner workings of schizoids, as well as the relationship between SzPD and the rest of the schizophrenia spectrum.

Understand the "root" of SzPD

SzPD typically forms as the result abuse, neglect or abandonment in childhood. Schizoids have learned through trauma that emotional intimacy, vulnerability, and dependence on other people all have the potential to harm them badly, and as a result, they tend to avoid those things. In that sense, schizoids don't have a problem with other people, per se. Understanding this fact can help you write your schizoid character with more realism and nuance.

For example, it's a common misconception that all schizoids are averse to having sex. Many schizoids are, to be fair - but plenty of schizoids also frequently engage in hook-up culture, or form other sexual relationships. Physical intimacy can be entirely seperate from emotional intimacy, and thus pose no real risk to a person with SzPD. It's also possible for schizoids to form good relationships with other people, if those relationships are based on non-emotional grounds, such as recreational interests, work, religion, etc.

You can show this in your schizoid character by thinking about which of your other characters your schizoid might gravitate towards. In general, they will feel safest with characters who place few (or no) emotional demands on them, don't place high value on phatic gestures, don't pry into their emotional state or background, respect their need for independence and agency, and so on.

Overt or Covert?

Once you've researched the disorder a bit, you need to decide whether your schizoid character is overt or covert. The overt/covert split is about 50%/50%, so neither is more likely than the other.

Overt schizoids tend to be a lot more blunt about their indifference, visibly detached and aloof, and are typically way less likely to engage in social settings (or be in social settings at all). These are the characters who have blunt affect, ie. won't have much of an emotional reaction to their surroundings, even if it directly involves them (ex. getting praised/criticised). They may have odd speaking patterns, such as stilted or vague speech, and can sometimes come across as cold and uncaring. Overt schizoids are noticably reluctant to reveal what's going on in their internal world, so they might also come across as enigmatic, secretive, or mistrustful.

If your character is an overt schizoid, think about how their behavior and personality are percieved by other characters, what kind of reactions might arise. Think about how your schizoid character might navigate these reactions - after all, they're probably used to getting comments. How do they react if someone comments on how disinterested/moody they seem? Do they tell the person to fuck off? Do they raise an eyebrow, and that's that?

Covert schizoids, or "secret" schizoids, experience the exact same symptoms as overt SzPD, but they hide it behind what's called a false-self system. You can think of it as a form of compulsive masking. Apart from perhaps vaguely eccentric behavior, you typically won't be able to tell that a secret schizoid has SzPD unless you know what you're looking for. If your character is a secret schizoid, they will behave in a way that seems socially engaged and interested, maybe even extroverted, but they will be emotionally withdrawn and safe within an internal world.

If your character is a covert schizoid, your other characters might not notice that anything is out of the ordinary with them at all - until they learn more about your character's lifestyle. Secret schizoids are not as used to being confronted about their odd behavior as overt schizoids are, and, depending on the character overall, might respond to these confrontations with awkwardness, defensiveness or confusion. Many secret schizoids are also unaware that they have SzPD, but are instead just vaguely aware that their behavior and preferences seem strange and different to other people.

Figure out the internals

An intricate internal fantasy life makes for a well-thought-out, sharply self-aware character. Schizoids spend most of their time in their own heads, so you need to have a good understanding of your character's internal world, fantasies and reflections, and how these things affect their behavior, priorities and decisions.

For many schizoids, their fantasy life is rooted in their own lives, either their past, present, or future - what-ifs, what-if-nots and could've-beens. They'll have internal "interactions" with other people they know, play out entire conversations and scenarios, and respond and react much more vividly than they tend to in real life. For other schizoids, their fantasies exist in a world entirely seperate to our own, with its own rules and structure, which they can explore to their own liking. For others yet, they think up fictional stories, sometimes inspired by real life, sometimes not.

Themes in the internal world often reflect the schizoid's own struggle with independence and intimacy. A lot of schizoids use their fantasies as a safe and sufficient way to feel "connected" to others. Others have violent, vengeful fantasies, which often juxtapose the indifferent demeanor - these fantasies tie in to the need for independence and emotional control, sometimes referred to as schizoid omnipotence.

Beyond the intricate fantasies, consider your character's moral beliefs. Schizoids tend toward idiosyncasy - we're in the "odd and eccentric" cluster for a reason. Akhtar described this quality as "occasionally strikingly amoral, at other times altruistically self-sacrificing." Take some time to figure out how this might express itself in your character, and how it is percieved by the characters around them.

Schizoids and relationships

You know how borderlines have their favorite person, and narcissists have their chosen person? A schizoid might just stumble upon someone who will become their interest person, or IP.

An IP is someone outside their immediate close family who the schizoid feels safe enough to be vulnerable with, are genuinely interested in, and who the schizoid forms an honest-to-god emotional connection to. This relationship can be either romantic or platonic in nature. If you choose to give your schizoid character an IP, make sure to emphasize how much this relationship stands out as uniquely meaningful to the schizoid - this is the one person they are even capable of having a genuine bond with, and that bond alone can keep them grounded against feelings of cosmic isolation. Your schizoid isn't likely to take this for granted.

An interesting tidbit of information is that schizoids paradoxically tend to gravitate towards relationships with highly extroverted, emotional people, to the point where the schizoid-hysteric relationships are an entire category of psychological research. Here's a really good snippet that describes how that dynamic tends to play out.

(Also keep in mind that just because a schizoid doesn't have an IP does not necessarily mean they are miserable. A lot of schizoids are capable of finding their own peace with whatever tools they have available.)

Another notable term for schizoid relationships is the controversial stock friend. A stock friend is a person who considers themself friends with the (typically covert) schizoid, and who thinks they have an emotional connection with them, but who the schizoid feels no emotional connection to, has no real interest in, and only interacts with out of convenience or happenstance. Is this immoral? Are schizoids leading people on, or are we justified in masking to avoid a constant stream of awkward confrontations, that have the potential to hurt other people's feelings? Who knows.

Splitting

You might have heard of idealization/devaluation-splitting as it pertains to borderline PD (bad/good) or narcissistic PD (worthy/unworthy). Splitting happens in SzPD as well, along the axis of safe/unsafe.

Schizoids will occasionally cut other people out of their lives, and this usually happens when they get overwhelmed with another person's attempts at emotional intimacy, or their boundaries have been deliberately or repeatedly crossed. They will often view the person as relentlessly prying, controlling, demanding, or dangerous, and will desperately seperate themself from that person as a way to avoid being consumed, or "smothered". At this point, if the other person doesn't let the schizoid get away, the schizoid might become overtly hostile. This is a fear response.

If you want to write a schizoid splitting, be aware that a split with a schizoid usually marks the end of the relationship altogether - especially if the relationship hasn't lasted for very long, and double especially if the person isn't the schizoid's IP. Once a schizoid has lost trust in someone, that trust is very, very difficult to build back up, even if both parties agree to try. Your schizoid character is going to be incredibly wary of the other person, and the relationship is probably never going to feel like it did before.

Beware of stereotypes

Every once in a while I'll encounter a story that features a character who has very obvious schizoid traits, and almost every single time, their arc leaves me disappointed and frustrated. Here are some tropes I would personally avoid writing for a schizoid character.

"He just needed love all along." Kill this trope, no exceptions. Strong emotional intimacy can erode or overpower a schizoid's sense of self, and usually leads to feelings of smothering, being trapped/crushed by the other, and losing autonomy and independence. A schizoid is capable of love on their own specific terms, but if it's on the terms of other people, they will strongly feel like it's something being forced on them against their will. They might still outwardly "accept it" as a form submission or compliance, but it will not be out of love. This trope gives me psychic damage.

"He sacrificed his life for others, which proves that he cared all along." This trope isn't necessarily bad, it just always leaves me with this impression that neurotypicals can only interpret caring when it happens in the extremes. And while it's true that schizoids can sometimes be altruistically self-sacrificing, it's kinda depressing to see schizoid-like characters die all the time. There are other ways you could show schizoid altruism that would also leave the door open for more closure for the character themself.

"He turned evil and violent." While this trope isn't quite as common as it is with other disorders, notably those from cluster B, it does still exist. So here's your friendly reminder that mentally ill and neurodivergent people are more likely to be the victims of violence than to be perpetrators, by far. I'm not saying you should never write a schizoid bad guy, you certainly can - I'm just telling you to be very careful about how you go about it, so you don't end up sending the wrong kind of message.

Conclusion

Schizoid characters are cool, and I wish there were more well-written canonically schizoid characters out there. But I'm also clearly biased, so what do I know