#problematic personal anecdotes

[supedewoop]

Race is definitely an issue here. The white people (I’m white) are absolutely reacting to this stronger and responded more forcefully to Lizzo’s body positive message as being new and so revolutionary and it’s absolutely not, though it is still a good, important message.

This is also a weird and problematic thing to say but I haven’t figured out a better way to phrase and I think it’s relevant, the black community has always been way more body positive, especially with celebrities and it’s white culture that squashes and demonizes it for the most part.

While it is anecdotal, （and here comes the very problematic part) I was raised in a Detroit suburb and while it is a heavily segregated area, (at one time, maybe still, the most in the US) and my area was very white, I still had a lot of exposure to what I now recognize as black culture. As an adult, I’ve realized, it helped me learn to love my fat body, even though it was white, long before Lizzo. I felt like I could be beautiful through seeing Aretha Franklin and other black National and local celebrities on local news more often and with recognition of their achievements and beauty, as well as beautiful black women with “larger bodies” that didn’t dress in lose floral blouses and embraced that bodies, in public spaces. When I did start to become more aware of the prejudices and dynamics in the world around me, I saw my own problems first. So, I saw them as being “like me” as being fat and still beautiful and sexual in a positive way, (and of course there are also issues with black bodies being over sexualized, that I wasn’t yet open enough to see) and ran with that. I didn’t even entirely realize it when I did start to feel comfortable and positive in my size even in high school.

I didn’t realize that it actually came from black role models and black culture until men actually began to take notice of me in public spaces. I was a late bloomer and also turned out asexual, but that objectivity and greater wisdom of the world helped me realize the differences. Black men most often would appreciate my whole form, saying something like “damn girl, you fine” while white men would focus on a specific attribute (breasts) or focus on the size some how, either, “you’re cute even if you’re fat” or “I like fat girls.” Realizing this difference helped me see realize all the other things.

Is all black culture like super body positive? Of course not, but it isn’t the same as white culture even if white culture is much more dominant. I felt like Lizzo brought that energy and important piece of black culture into the wider world, and made it a more accessible message to white people, and I appreciate her for that, but I think it’s not fair now to take race out of that message and where it might come from.

And also, to not pretend like this downfall, even if “deserved” (and again, believe victims!) won’t be worse for her than it would be for a white celebrity. It’s also not great to not acknowledge the coverage is so gleeful because she’s fat AND black.

Also, like.... it’s okay to genuinely admire & look up to celebrities.

People who go around acting morally superior like “oh I’ve NEVER looked up to a celebrity IN MY LIFE!” whenever shit like this happens are DICKS. Like the absolute WORST kind of dicks.

Stop sucking yourself off just because the latest celebrity to get cancelled just happens to be a celebrity you weren’t a fan of. You have role models, too.

[artbyblastweave]

Funniest thing I've seen recently, and not funny in a ha-ha way, more funny in a "the endless entropic void gnawing at my will to live" way, was somebody asking around for alternatives to Neil Gaiman, in the light of Neil Gaiman's ongoing fall from grace. As though what we're currently sitting through isn't the collapse of the carefully curated "Good Guy Neil" image that caused people to parade Gaiman as the same kind of preferred progressive alternative to, say, Rowling. As though we won't be in the same goddamn situation in a few years or months, with some number of the new progressive sci-fi/fantasy darlings- not all of them, to be clear, but at least some of them- when their impeccably-curated marketing implodes in on itself and they're revealed to be the same kind of sex pest or abuser. Can you not see the wheel to which you are strapped. The game of human pinball you are condemning yourself to with this mindset. Maybe you do see, and you're just resigned to taking it one soul-crushing disappointment at a time, one "I never would have guessed" after another. I mean I think we all need to get resigned to that one way or another, sun's gonna go out before it stops happening

[byuno-o]

RANDOM ASTRO OBSERVATIONS I'VE OBSERVED.

NOTE: THESE ARE BASED ON PERSONAL ANECDOTES; HENCE, MIGHT NOT BE APPLICABLE FOR EVERYONE

Pisces and Sagittarius people are not always lucky as they say. They go through the most problematic, heart-shattering events which test their ability to remain optimistic. It's like Jupiter makes them go through tough times before bestowing them with good luck.

However, for Sag and pisces rising, things are different. Jupiter might actually bestow them with good luck for a long period of time, only for them to go through tough times later. (Seen it with my own eyes.)

Capricorn sun and moon people are as social as Gemini and Libra can be. It's like they actively look for company so they don't end up with their thoughts alone.

Aries men--the unevolved ones, are overbearing to a fault. Sometimes when they try to help, they actually come off as assholes and just plain rude.

Leo moons are actually pretty shy and introverted. It's only after a few meetings do they get comfortable.

While I've read that Aquarius people are aloof and detached, that might not always be the case. I have seven friends with Aquarius sun, moon, mercury, rising and venus, and they are the most clingy people I've ever met. Some even ended up sabotaging their relationships and friendships because of their clinginess.

However, being the sister sign of Leo, they have to go through this phase in order to see the bigger picture and see humanity as a whole and not just one person. It's only after losing people do they realise their purpose, which is standing out and set trends.

I think the intuition and spiritual senses of fire signs are often overlooked. They are often guided by their intuitions, especially Leo.

I might be biased on this but, I have always share the same kind of humour with people with the same sun sign as me which is sag. Tell me if you relate. :)

Do not underestimate gemini when it comes to holding grudges. They remember everything and will hurt you where it hurts the most.

While, I'm at it, I think cancer's sharp tongue does not get much appreciation. The ones I've met either hit you with the hurtful words right onto your face with a smile, or they say hurtful things behind your back. The influence they can have on people is something I really admire.

Scorpio moons are more mature than scorpio suns. Idk, I just never met a mature scorpio sun but I have two friends with scorpio moon who are wise beyond their years.

Libra women, for some reason, lack confidence when it comes to their creativity, and face problems putting their art out. it's just something I've noticed since some women I know (who are libras) never tell their ideas to anyone out loud.

Nonetheless, their allure can only be rivalled by a Taurus or a Leo.

That is it for today. do let me know what you think about my observations. Let's have a discussion.

[novlr]

How would i politely describe body types without being vague?

Characters are as diverse as the writers who write about them, but when it comes to describing them, it can be very easy to default to what we know or to succumb to clichés or stereotypes. This can be especially challenging when describing characters’ bodies. When you need to describe body types, it’s really important to strike a balance between being specific and respectful while avoiding harmful stereotypes or vague descriptions.

Why description matters

Description is essential to really bring a reader into a scene and connect with the characters you’re writing about. Physical descriptions help readers visualise characters, which, in turn, can influence story dynamics. Body descriptions can reveal a lot about a character and even affect the way that other characters interact with them. Like people in real life, the way we look influences both who we are and how we interact with the world. 

As a personal example, I am quite short, but I have very long limbs. This gives me the illusion of being tall. Consequently, I am often asked by people taller than me to help them get things down from high shelves because they perceive me as taller than I am. This is a common interaction in my life that has changed the way I dress and carry myself. You probably have similar anecdotes in your own life, which is why building those descriptions into your characters can be such a great way to really make them feel real. How a character looks is not all they are, but it does help create a well-rounded sense of character if we get a feel for how they interact with the world around them.

General guidelines to describe body types

Thoughtful representation matters in modern writing. Descriptions should exist to make your characters feel like people and not like stereotypes. To achieve this, you must:

Focus on relevant details that serve the story — don’t just describe a person’s body because you feel you need to. Everything, even character description should exist to serve the story.

Avoid loaded terms or judgmental language.

Use specific, relevant details rather than general statements for the sake of it. 

Consider the character’s own perspective of their body instead of only through the eyes of other characters.

Include dynamic descriptions that show how the character moves and interacts with their environment to give a sense of who they are instead of info-dumping a description.

Common pitfalls to avoid

Don’t make a character’s body type a central part of your narrative if it isn’t plot-relevant.

Don’t rely on stereotypes or clichés.

Avoid using food-related metaphors, as they’re often problematic.

Don’t make assumptions about health or lifestyle based on appearance. Only include this information if it is relvant to the story you’re telling and you’ve researched and fact-checked to ensure its accuracy.

Don’t over-focus on your character’s body as a defining character trait.

Don’t use derogatory or outdated terminology.

Don’t over-describe body type to avoid saying what you mean. Fat and skinny aren’t dirty words. Short and tall don’t have an implicit bias. You can be direct. In fact, it’s often better to be direct in your description than to labour over someone’s body in minute detail.

Effective techniques to incorporate body types in the narrative

Describe clothing and style choices.

Show how the character navigates their environment and how their personality shines through movement.

Consider cultural and historical context.

Include relevant occupational influences on physique or vice versa.

Reference genetic or familial physical traits when relevant.

Include distinctive characteristics or style choices that aren’t related to their body type.

Note how the character’s appearance changes in different situations (i.e., dressed up or casual, at home or at work).

Focus on functional strength and capability outside of their body type.

Consider historical context if writing historical fiction and be aware of changing beauty standards.

Avoid cultural stereotypes and generalisations.

Don’t make a character’s body the centre of their story if it’s not relevant to the plot.

Use precise, specific language – don’t beat around the bush. Say what you mean.

Choose words that match the tone of your story.

Describing body types doesn’t have to be a minefield. Writing a character respectfully doesn’t require any more technical knowledge than simply writing them like a real person. While description is important for reader immersion, it’s also not something you need to focus on in too much detail if it’s not relevant to the plot. 

Describe body types in a way that serves your story. Every character’s physical description should contribute to their overall characterisation and your story’s themes, and never distract from it. Physical description is just one aspect of character development, so the most respectful way to describe a character’s body type is to make it a natural part of who they are and not the focus. 

[firendgold]

"dumbledore wants to control--" hush

Thinking about how irritating it is that people still believe that Albus Dumbledore (the person people should argue is maybe too lenient with letting every teenager in his school become Sherlock Holmes or Harry Houdini as it suits them) wants to control every single move any teenager makes under his roof or relationship they have, especially Harry.

Y'all. Albus does not care. He sure will prod you in one intellectual direction or the other, help you along toward whatever conclusion he's already drawn about goings-on, but this man is not gnashing his teeth or doing disapproving frowns over his glasses because one of his students keeps their guardian informed of Hogwarts happenings or wants to visit their vault in the middle of the year for some reason or what-the-fuck-ever.

Equally irritating, the fanon idea that Albus wants Harry to only live the life the headmaster plans or wishes (and that's IF they clear the hurdle of even realizing Albus wanted Harry to live at all).

"oh, Dumbledore doesn't want Harry to have power!" HE DOESN'T??? the same guy who said that Harry was a better man than him and a worthy master of the Hallows?

"Dumbledore only wants Harry to do X/be a sacrificial lamb!" He did not want Harry to die. He had no other choice thanks to the actions consistently taken by y'all's problematic fave, Voldemort. It's only a twist of irony that Voldemort also unintentionally rescued Harry as well. If Dumbledore had taken some of the actions y'all wanted him to by pretending he had the power to override an age-old Goblet that Barty used to put Harry in the tournament, then Harry would have perma-died at any point where an otherwise-resurrected Voldemort got his hands on him.

And Albus never expresses any desire for Harry to do or be anything besides what he is. Harry decides he wants to be an Auror because a Death Eater in disguise told him he'd be good at it. He never challenges this career path even when he honestly should.

Albus' actual wishes for Harry's future boil down to this:

is he alive?

is he safe?

is he happy?

If these conditions are filled, the real Albus Dumbledore is ecstatic.

So no, there's no universe where Albus is trying to block Harry from meeting with Ministry officials (unless they're losers like Rufus Scrimgeour, who was actively more interested in arresting randoms and getting photo shoots with the teenager he should have been PROTECTING from Voldemort, not holding in front of himself like a human shield).

The real Albus does not even lift an eyebrow at your fanon Harrys deciding they must meet with The Heads of Prominent Magical Families who previously didn't give a single shit about them. (And fandom, why is this dumb idea STILL A THING two decades later?? Who gives a shit what the dude whose name you found on Pottermore and whose personality you made up has been doing during the Voldemort years, when it was likely just sitting around with a thumb up his ass twittering about Family Honor while fascist terrorists were murdering people across the country?)

Albus likes Harry more than anyone else. He wants Harry to live a fulfilling life. If Harry became Minister for Magic, Albus would be thrilled. It would give him an excuse to actually visit the Ministry more often.

If Albus could be said to have an endgame or desire for Harry's career at all, it would be making Harry a professor at Hogwarts. Did you see how much he teared up when he found out the resistance was named after him? Or how he spent the whole next year giving Harry 'lessons' he had to know were being passed right to Ron and Hermione? Albus' passion is teaching; it's the one thing he feels he hasn't completely screwed up or corrupted. He'd die happy if Harry became the Defense professor and they could share meals and classroom anecdotes every day.

[starastrologyy]

Composite Chart Notes 🪐

Hi everyone, please do not copy or repost anything I write on other social media platforms :) I recently became aware of a Pinterest page reposting all my posts from TikTok/tumblr! I don’t have a Pinterest for my astrology blog :)

A composite Aries Rising, can often indicate a very active couple. They may enjoy partaking in various sports or various forms of physical activities together. However, they can appear to be a very argumentative couple, this is especially true of mars, mercury, or pluto squares the composite ascendant. Their conflicts can often be made public.

This is interesting because in terms of long-distance couples, I often see Uranus conjunct the descendent or Uranus in the 3rd house in their composite charts. A composite Sag or Aqua rising is also common in the charts of couples who are long distance.

The North Node in the composite 5th house can indicate a couple who have children together.

Another indication of a “hidden” or private relationship, is if the composite chart ruler is in the 12th house.

This is more of a personal anecdote, but I once had a man slide in my DMs on Instagram. We had mutual followers but I didn’t personally know him. Long story short, he just began offering to buy me things/send me money with nothing in return. Obviously I found that kind of suspicious as there’s usually a catch! He didn’t even push meeting me in person! We just kinda spoke online for a bit. I got his birth details and ran a synastry chart between us. We had no 2nd or 8th house overlays. However, his Jupiter did aspect my Sun (which explains why he was so generous towards me). I then took a look into our composite chart, and our composite Sun & Moon are both in the composite 2nd house! Additionally , the ruler of our composite ascendant is in the 8th. Which explains why our relationship is literally based on him sharing his resources with me, giving me money, and buying me things. Obviously not all relationships with this kind of configuration will play out like this, I just thought this was so interesting.

There can be elements of sexual idealizations in relationships where there are hard Mars-Neptune aspects in the composite chart. One or both people may feel as if they have met their “dream” sexual partner if the orb is particularly tight. However, once the illusion or initial “high” fades. This aspect can prove to be problematic in many ways. There can be deceptions and disappointments that start to manifest. Mars square Neptune is common to see in the charts of *affairs* or short lived sexual relationships. However, please remember the entire chart needs to be taken into consideration.

Couples who travel a lot together usually have significant 3rd and 9th house placements in the composite. Jupiter in the composite 9th, 3rd, or conjunct the composite Mercury can also indicate a couple that travels frequently.

A couple with Jupiter or Venus in the composite 7th house, can make very good business partners. Couples who have the ruler of their composite midheaven, in the 7th house, may also decide to go into business together.

My readings are still open for those interested ! The link is in my bio :)

[geekthefreakout]

The Joy Leaving the Work

This post will be discussing the works of Neil Gaiman and my personal relationship with them. If you don't like that or cannot handle that, kindly don't read. Also, there will be allusions to SA in the discussions.

So, a couple of weeks ago I decided to pick up Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman-- a book I've owned for a couple of years that's been in my "to read pile" waiting its turn. In the light of the allegations against Gaiman, I put off reading it a couple of months more as I tried to process how I felt. Now I've read it.

Background: Neil Gaiman has been my favorite author bar none ever since I read Coraline in 5th Grade. He and Sir Terry Pratchett share a bookshelf of honor in my room- the one right behind my bed, so I can easily reach for a comfort read. I've always loved his twists on various stories-- The Graveyard Book and Neverwhere being two of my favorites. The dark-but-not-too-dark tone, the dry humor, the magical realism, all of it. Anansi Boys looked like it would have all of that.

And it did! In a vacuum, this would have been a very enjoyable read. But with the allegations, I noticed things that I wouldn't have before. For example (spoilers, I guess):

Mr. Nancy (the titular Anansi) is a funny old man, and often a bit lecherous. In his final moments, he's doing karaoke with some young, buxom blondes when he has a heart attack and falls off the stage, hand outstretched. As he goes down, he sticks his hand out, grabbing one girl's tube top and exposing her as he dies.

This anecdote in the book is presented as something that embarrasses his son (our protag) but is generally interpreted by the other characters as something that was just so funny and charming.

It made me uncomfortable. In fact, just about every time Mr. Nancy alluded to his Master Roshi-like interest in buxom young women, I felt uncomfortable. But wait, there's more:

Spider (secret twin brother of protag Fat Charlie) is interested in Fat Charlie's fiancee. He tricks her into thinking that he IS Fat Charlie, and this girl who had been saving her virginity til marriage is so taken by him that they have sex. Meaning not only did he entice the girl to sex under false circumstances (this is rape), but it's also unclear as to how much of her going along with him is really HER and how much is his... mojo, I suppose. To the story's credit, once she realizes what has happened she gets angry and breaks up with both of them, no longer wanting anything to do with them... until, of course, happenstance brings them together again and she admits that she had real feelings for Spider, who finds himself wanting to behave better for her.

That doesn't sit right with me in the best of circumstances. These are not the best of circumstances.

I finished the book and it took me this long- two weeks and change- to decide how I feel about it. And how I feel about it is this-- I cannot separate it from the author. I cannot enjoy this book because the slime from Gaiman's actions oozes all over it. And that sucks.

I'm almost afraid to reread my favorites from him, for fear that my happy memories of those books will be ruined too. That SUCKS.

And it makes me feel dumb for never having seen the misogyny in the books before. It's like when Rowling showed herself to be what she was and I couldn't enjoy Harry Potter anymore, but worse because Gaiman is an author that I was still actively reading, who had been vocally supportive of queer and trans people, who I'd still looked up to. When it all went down with Rowling, I realized that I'd been excusing a lot of problematic shit in her writing as ignorance, rather than malice. But it WAS malice. And now I'm wondering if I didn't make the same mistake with Gaiman. That sucks too.

Anyway. That's my rant. Thanks for listening. Please share if you're having issues like this too, it's good to not feel alone.

[coveredinbees]

Am I the only one that is getting irritated by the low-key misogyny that underlines the way we talk about the cast of Wicked? And yes, specifically I am talking about Cynthia and Ariana.

We, as a people, are obsessed with pitting women against each other. We can't have two women working on a film together without trying to turn them into bitchy, Joan Crawford and Bette Davies-esque stereotypes. It's honestly so misogynistic, and you'd never see people on social media talking about Paul Mescal or Pedro Pascal the way they talk about Cynthia and Ariana. It's infuriating.

Cut (for rant)...

Think about someone you work with. Any random person, it really doesn't matter. Maybe it's Diane in Accounting or Charlotte in Marketing. You see them every day, you have meetings together and occasionally work on the same projects. You share anecdotes in the breakroom whilst you're waiting for the kettle to boil, and maybe you even know the name of their dog/child/boyfriend.

Now imagine that everyone on Twitter* expects you to be best friends with that person. You have to be genuinely excited to see them everyday, have lunch with them, tag them in your posts, all of it. If you don't, then you obviously hate each other. That is literally what we expect from two female costars - there's no room for them to be 'mates', or 'work friends' or even just 'colleagues'. You're either best friends or mortal enemies, those are the only choices.

And look - I'm not a big Ariana fan, (generally speaking, I'm a rock/metal girlie and my forays into pop music have been few and far between), but the way in which we talk about her body on social media is also disgusting. (Don't let people tell you it's coming from 'a place of concern'. It isn't.) I get that Ariana Grande has exhibited some problematic behaviour in the past, and I am not trying to excuse that, but she is also very clearly going through a mental health crisis and we, as a society, have collectively decided to pile on because we think we're so much better than her. We learned nothing from Caroline Flack, did we?

Sorry, that got rantier than I was expecting. It's just... some critical thinking skills would not go amiss.

(*I'm not calling it 'X', Elon Musk can fuck off.)

[spirk-trek]

📖 and 🔫 for the ask game!

thanks for the ask!!!!!!

📖 (fic recs)

i'm going to recommend some authors instead if that's okay!!! i don't have a list of fics prepared but these creators are all so amazing <3

android_and_ale @android-and-ale

indeedcaptain @indeedcaptain

gunstreet @gunstreet

mortea1848 @jennelikejennay

dogearedfriends @dogearedfriends

rooksacrifice @rooksacrifice

+ these are some of my favorite fanzine authors who are available on ao3!

charlotte frost

gayle f

jenna sinclair

🔫 (something fanon you disagree with)

i honestly couldn't think of any because this fandom has made me so open minded there's not really a fanon element that rubs me the wrong way, HOWEVER i'm going to say the demonization of william shatner counts. i hate every time i see a tag under one of my posts like "fuck william shatner but captain kirk is hot" or whatever. he's a really complex person and i feel like people rarely take the time to fully understand him. i get why they're turned off, i have problems with things he's said and the way he acts sometimes, but the man has been alive for almost a hundred years. there's more to him than the same problematic anecdotes that get shared again and again. SO much more. i really resonate with his story and his inability to relate to people (a weakness he recognizes btw). the cruel and toxic attitude toward him is just really sad to me :(

[zg0nuwa]

Hey, sorry i feel so demanding when asking someone so i had to let they know that this is just a silly idea *_-YOU CAN IGNORE IT AND DONT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT!!!-_*

SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG BUT I HAD TO LET IT OUTT!!! I hope you understand what i meant, thank you take care!

Anyways... So the idea is: The earthrealm trio, Johnny Cage, Kenshi and Kung lao (or any charactr you prefer) liking the reader very much (It can be platonic or romantic up to you) and they always get in little fights or arguments because they are kinda jealous of you, not something sick and twisted but you know, like, little things like they fighting to sit beside you when watching a movie together and one of them end up sitting on the grund in front of you (so all of you sit on the ground together) or when they are walking and they see you from afar one of them starts to running to get to you faster than the other but the reader is very oblivious, besides loving all 3 of them very much and keeping to themselves because the reader doesnt know what polyamorous is and think its problematic to love all the 3 guys at the time and their worst fear is to hurt those 3 protective, dependable and caring fellas. Also the reader always makes a effort to spend time them too, specially with the 3 at the same time, and they are all very touchy with esch other? Like hugs, hand holding, hands on the shoulders when walking together...

( doing this also with raiden because this boy has my heart )

cw ; this is not exactly romantic but also not very platonic, i hope this is okay

first and foremost, may god have mercy on you, because these four won't. johnny and kung lao are the worst, childish competitions and being up in your personal space, always a hand on your shoulder, thigh, in their hand. kenshi and raiden are much more reasonable and just happy to be in your presence.

johnny is the initiator i would say, he'd probably be the first one to show you this type of attention, which, to be honest, is not much different from before. he is definitely more touchy and maybe a little pushover with his advances towards you. it's not because he doesn't respect your boundaries, he does and takes it very seriously when you tell him to stop. it's more like inserting himself wherever you are, dropped a pen? he already picked it up! forgot something? would you look at that! he has a spare or coincidentally has that specific thing on him!

kung lao is... specific. he's also touchy but he feels a little awkward, like he's not really sure he can be touchy and affectionate with you. while johnny is confident and straightforward he's more of a "pretending to yawn and putting my arm over your shoulder' type of person. this still doesn't make him drop the cocky personality.

kenshi is passive, at least thats how he seems to be, he doesn't mind the others behavior but much prefers being one on one with you. his affection comes in form of long deeps talks that go well into the night. he's open, he's comfortable and he shows it well. does small favors for you like putting you laundry away, turning the lights off if you fall asleep and forget, making an extra cup of tea and "surprisingly" it's always your favourite.

raiden is a charmer, sometimes without even trying. remembers the smallest things about you. not to mention that he's very timid but he's not this "shy baby" that blushes at any advance towards him. he's actually a smartass sometimes and has a lot of good responses to flirty anecdotes. also the best advice giver, no matter what it may be he's always here to figure something out for you.

together they can get pretty chaotic but not to the point where they're jumping at eachother throats. call it friendly rivalry they say ( usually it's between kung lao and johnny but johnny always seems to drag in kenshi so you and raiden just wait until the drama resolves itself)

[iwaoiness]

thank u sm @mania-sama for taggin me on this!! <3 im excited to see how this will turn out omg

𒌋 fanfic write review

— How many works do you have on AO3? —

actually 48 fics in english and spanish, i think its a huge number but then i remember there's people with more than 70 works and then i feel better

— Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes —

¹ orbit return↦ "When they're eight years old and learn in class what the orbit and the planets and the stars and the universe are, Iwaizumi decides that on Oikawa's birthday he will no longer say "happy birthday", but "happy orbit return". And it becomes a tradition. Or: Oikawa is the main protagonist of Iwaizumi's Instagram, especially, every 20th of July."

its one of the cutest i've ever written, i wanted to do something cute and soft for oikawa's b-day and show iwaoi over the years through the pictures but as i have no fucking idea how to draw, i said: ‘fuck it i'll write it’, and so it was born!! i liked it sm i couldnt hold out until july so i published it in octuber lol

² tooru's love life↦ "In wich Oikawa never revealed anything about his private life, let alone his love life. Until he posts a TikTok with Iwaizumi Hajime and everything explodes."

it was a silly thing that crossed my mind after seeing a video on twitter and idk how its in this top2 BUT im soooo grateful that yall liked it so much <3

³ chronicles of a jealous athlete↦ "What Oikawa definitely can't get over and what left him gaping with eyes wide open was the latest viral video featuring Iwaizumi (which Makki sent him just two minutes after it was posted, along with a "loool bro u should’ve come to japan"). And it's not another fancam (he wished it was another fancam, why on earth wasn't it a fancam), but a video of him, back to the camera, giving Ushijima Fucking Wakatoshi a massage. A fucking pectoral massage."

THIS IS MY PRECIOUS SON!! i saw the video on my tl and said: i MUST iwaoing this right now and worte it in one day. i had a great time writing it, i felt like i was 15 again, surrounded by books and being able to read saga after saga every week, totally engrossed in the world of manga and anime, having evolved in my writing style and feeling that i finally could show my full potential and reveal without further walls everything that my mind holds. im very fond of it i swear

⁴ oikawa's problematic phone case↦ "In which Oikawa shows a video to a famous talk show host and (unintentionally) ends up showing half the world the photo he keeps in his phone case. And it would all remain an anecdote if it weren't for the fact that it is a ID photo of Iwaizumi Hajime (27) athletic trainer."

can u believe i just wanted to do a drabble about iwaizumi being the kind of person who doesnt try hard at all and looks SO HOT in the id photo and then this came out lol i just now its something canon

⁵ when the rain falls in summer↦ "It's summer, it's raining, Oikawa is lying on the couch like an invertebrate animal, humming a song because he doesn't know silence, and Iwaizumi can't ask for anything more."

i couldnt be iwaoi's fan without writing iwaoi enjoying the two of them in their flat on a rainy day, all sweet, loving and in love, and with a balcony full of plants ugh i love them with my whole heart

— Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? —

yees!! its my fav part of publish a work, even though sometimes i forget and get months behind, i LOVE responding to comments, it's like feeling more connected to people and an incredible dopamine rush

— What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? —

all i know is my life is gone, well tecnically its all angst not only the ending, but thanks to this i found the joy of writing angst, now i understand people who write an 120k fic of pure angst, somehow its reaaaally funny

i have another one in spanish la paz de akaashi its a bokuaka fic y si eres hispana hermana no sabes lo que me dolió emocionalmente destrozar a bokuto y akaashi pensé que sería soportable pero nO

— What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? —

AAAAAAA I CANT CHOOSE apart from the previous two plus another one that has a bittersweet ending (between alphas if u r curious), the rest of the 43 fics have happy ending, but so as not to leave this blank I will say: little piece of home

— Do you write crossovers? —

nopee, and i dont think im ever going to write it cuz im not really into it

— Have you ever received hate on a fic? —

only once lol when i started in the fanfic world in fanfiction.net with vocaloid stories (dark past don't ask) and i was 12 or 13 y/o ig when one of my shameful fics ended up in a review blog with the top spanish fanfic writers, and they dedicated a WHOLE post to me with a destructive (and a little bit constructive) criticism. actually it wasnt that bad cuz that was my turning point and now i write well thanks to it, and since then i havent received any hate on any of my fics!! (for now lol)

— Do you write smut? If so, what kind? —

another yes thank youuu. i love to write it not too explicit, like leave u wanting to know a lot more and also to be able to imagine it a little bit as u like, if that makes sense

— Have you ever had a fic stolen? —

not that i know of, and hope to keep it that way pleaseee

— Have you ever had a fic translated? —

nope

— Have you ever co-written a fic before? —

nope again

— What’s your all-time favorite ship? —

IWAOIIWAOIIWAOIIWAOIIWAOIIWAOI im OBSESSED with their dynamic. its just so freaking good (and don’t even get me started on the fact that childhood friends is my weakness). with these two, there’s literally endless possibilities and AUs u can explore without pushing them into major ooc territory, which, tbh, is a struggle with some ships. like, u want enemies to lovers? fits like a glove. strangers to friends to lovers? perfect. full-blown angst with a happy ending? chef’s kiss. angst with hurt/no comfort? yup, that too. whatever the vibe is, if it’s iwaoi, it just WORKS

and individually they’re a solid 10/10. like, sure, iwaizumi didn’t get as much screen time as oikawa, but his personality is so well-crafted that it feels like he’s been a core part for all 402 freaking chapters of haikyuu (well he's a core part if it wasnt for him, tooru would’ve been absolutely eaten up by guilt for hitting kageyama and might’ve even quit volleyball and that iconic line ‘the team with the better six is stronger’ it’s HIS, and it hit kageyama like a truck) and don’t even get me started on timeskip iwaizumi hajime (27), athletic trainer, he's my roman empire

and oikawa, oh my oikawa, i’d legit have to write a whole doctoral thesis cuz he’s THE character. his development's straight-up apotheosis. he’s one of the best-written characters out there, and if u disagree, go argue with the wall. the man crossed the damn pond for volleyball, became a STARTER on the argentinian national team, rediscovered the joy in the sport, and kept his pride intact through it all. uuugh and at 30 years old, he’s still a total dork but irresistibly handsome piece of man

— What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? —

okay listen to me carefully (or rather, read me carefully) i have a lots of WIPs but for the last FOUR years in my iwaoi doc there has been THE wip that has been going around in my mind but that will probably never come to light and that im going to let a summary of here cuz if i suffer for not being able to write it, as it deserve, yall suffer with me for not being able to read it:

inspired by the music video of halsey's song colors, omegaverse iwaoi, where oikawa (18) is a dominant omega (a real one, who can bend an alpha with his pheromones) and iwaizumi (29) is an alpha. i know it sounds repetitive BUT KEEP READING!!

the oikawas are a pretty well-off family: daisuke (a lawyer with his own successful law firm) is the alpha dad, aoi (a social worker at an omega shelter) is the omega papa, tomiko is the eldest alpha daughter, and tooru is the youngest omega son. tomiko’s married but always stays in close contact with the family, and daisuke and aoi’s relationship is super healthy, making them a tight-knit family where oikawa grew up never lacking love.

but then adolescence hits hard and oikawa becomes ridiculously beautiful, flamboyant, smart, strong, attention-loving, totally into top and bottom dynamics, and most importantly, he LOVES teasing his dad, though daisuke always dishes it right back cuz they’re both stubborn as hell (but his dad really cares about him and only looks out for the best, just like his papa). actually oikawa gets along quite well with the rest of the omegas, but his closest friends are makki (an omega marked by beta mattsun) and suga (the epitome of perfection with a playful streak he rarely shows, and ofc engaged to daichi).

oikawa and hanamaki usually go to the sports club to play tennis because volleyball is not an omegas thing, and with suga he attends the music conservatory where he plays the violin. at the omegas institution, the three of them are in the sewing club (led by akaashi btw) although tooru has no fucking idea how to sew.

so, the story kicks off with makki and oikawa watching a volleyball match at the said prestigious miyagi sports club, where daisuke and a handful of alphas (and mattsun) play. among them is yutaro iwaizumi who happens to be a little bit in love with tooru (and even has a semi-blessing from the oikawas to court him). but, ofc, tooru has zero interest in that iwaizumi. his eyes are on the other alpha iwaizumi who plays volleyball too with his dad, the one who looks at him with those intense green eyes, the one with a dimple on his right cheek when he smiles, the one with a deep, gravelly voice that makes oikawa’s stomach flip, the one with an overwhelming presence, the one who smells like sandalwood and mint, the one with a broken mark on the nape of his neck.

hajime iwaizumi, the big bro of yutaro

AAAAAA DUDE, NOW I WANNA PICK IT UP AGAIN, IT’D BE SO GOOD I WANNA CRY. i wrote three chapters and half of the fourth, and honestly, it was so fun cuz i add humor and build a fun dynamic between the OCs (aka tooru’s parents) and tooru himself. ugh and don’t even get me started on the epic scenes i included, like oikawa getting into big trouble sneaking into an alpha institution just to smash a nut tart into the face of an alpha who’s allergic to nuts for revenge

— What are your writing strengths? —

wow i’ve never really stopped to think seriously about this, but i think im decent at conveying emotions (someone pls tell me this is a legit writing strength before i embarrass myself here), like, i try to make them feel real and almost palpable instead of leaving them just abstract. and maybe creativity too? im always looking for ways to avoid repetition and make everything feel smoother and more fluid

— What are your writing weaknesses? —

definitely describing places, i HATE that kind of description. i try my best, but if it’s already a struggle in spanish for me, just imagine doing it in english, i caaant every time it makes me want to bang my head against my laptop. oh and i feel like cant write long fics to save my life cuz i always feel like i wont be good enough to pull it off or that i’ll mess up squeezing the plot and fucking it up, and it drives me absolutely crazy but but i swear im trying to improve that aspect and one day get a long fic or a 10k+ one shot uploaded without dying in the attempt!!

— What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? —

i think its super funny (u cant comprehend the joy that comes over me when i read fics in english with argentinian oikawa saying dialogues in spanish), although its true that sometimes it hinders the reading a bit if one isnt fluent in the other language, its a good tool that makes the reading more interesting as long as its used well, i see it as another resource to make the reader more involved in the story imo

— What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? —

right now off the top of my head i’d looove to write kuroken, more bokuaka, some oihina, kenhina, definitely atsuhina, kagehina, and tanakiyo from haikyuu. and once i finish arcane, i’m literally DYING to dive into jayvik. also, i love love love kingdom (GO READ IT, ITS LEGENDARY), and i’d be so hyped to write something shin x qiang too

— What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? —

i really hate to choose i swear but the first one that cross my mind its hajime's premature death i had such a blast working on the plot, like driving iwaizumi insane with oikawa rocking a skirt has been soooo enriching. honestly, i think this might just be the most fun fic i’ve ever written

time for tagginggg @vvalllerie @winnterboobear @kingofech0park if yall want to do it, no pressure!! ღ

[aspd-culture]

dunno if this is allowed, u dont have to answer if you don't want to but as someone with bpd I'm curious, how do people with aspd often see them?

So I can only offer my anecdotal answer to this, but I've had very polarized responses to people with BPD. Anything I say about how my ASPD affects the person with BPD I'm speaking of has been directly told to me by that person, so I am not just assuming.

On the one hand, my partner has BPD and it makes our relationship much more functional on my end than it would with me being with someone without it. That's because my *very* limited empathy that comes with him being an Exception pairs very well with the more intense emotions a pwBPD feels. Since my empathy is limited, I am not overwhelmed by the intensity of his emotions the way his exes often were. And, since his emotions are so intense, I can actually pick up on many of those emotions even with the blunted empathy. They're quiet pings on my radar, but they're there.

Further, my desire to only be around an extremely limited number of people saves him a lot of grief because his favorite person is *very* rarely interested in talking to anyone but him and a couple other close friends. The more limited the pool of people I have deep and meaningful relationships with, the less threatened he feels with me being his favorite person. Whilst he couldn't and wouldn't push someone to barely talk to anyone but him as that would be extremely abusive, me wanting to limit my interactions with people helps ease that anxiety a lot. It very much limits how much he worries that I will abandon him for someone else.

Meanwhile, the intensity of his attachment to me, while annoying during a flare, is actually something I enjoy. It's good for the ASPD unstable self-worth to know he values me that highly, and being his FP helps my brain accept that he genuinely does value me and is not using me, because I know the "hidden motivation" for him wanting me around that my ASPD convinces me everyone has. It's also one of the most stable attachments to me that anyone has had, mainly because I have very little time to detach since we do spend so much time together. Besides with my alters, it's the closest to normal love I've ever felt.

However, for non-Exceptions, I can get *very* annoyed by the emotional reactions of pwBPD if they affect me. I already am exhausted by the emotional labor of dealing with prosocials, what with their emotions overtaking their logic, but that is even more exacerbated by pwBPD. It's not their fault, and I know that, but I do have trouble being around pwBPD who are not an Exception because of this without setting firm boundaries on what I can and can't help them with. If they need me to just listen to their upset without trying to help them solve the problem, I cannot help with that. However, if they are too overwhelmed by their reaction to find solutions and want me to insert a logical and entirely non-emotional perspective, I am great at that and it makes me feel useful for something that mostly makes people call me shallow and cold.

Even for my Exceptions though, there are definitely issues between a pwBPD and a pwASPD. BPD splits can *really* flare my symptoms - both the "positive" and "negative" splits. When it's the type of split where he gets hyper-attached and needs a lot of attention out of nowhere, I can get tired easily with this, especially because just saying (and meaning) that I'm not going to leave is not good enough. It makes me want to interact less when he is obsessively trying to interact more. The types of splits where a pwBPD pushes someone away to avoid being left can be especially problematic for both people involved, as very often the pwASPD will essentially go "okay, bye then" and detach. That can be a lot for pwBPD to deal with, even though we're sometimes willing to go back on that. I have to stop myself when my partner gets in that kind of split to keep from "calling his bluff" so to speak, because that will worsen things for him.

In both romantic and platonic relationships, pwBPD and pwASPD can end up very toxic for each other, as some pwBPD will follow pwASPD into destructive situations and with our issues with regard for others' wellbeing, we may not always stop you. In fact, sometimes it's proof to us that you actually DO care about us, which, of course, is messed up for everyone involved.

That said, the more destructive behaviors pwBPD sometimes struggle with are VERY unlikely to surprise or scare a pwASPD. "Oh, you got freaked out and threw something, but you didn't throw it at me or break anything of mine? Ok, cool. What a mood. No, why tf would I leave you over that? I did that like 2 days ago. You're chill now right? Ok let's go get Taco Bell." From what my partner has told me, this can (and has) stop an episode in it's tracks because when the destructive behavior that is meant to push me away doesn't even make me blink twice and I'm still entirely cool with him, it sometimes completely reassures him that I'm not going anywhere and we can move on.

It can go either or both ways, depending on the day, on how a pwASPD and a pwBPD in close relationships of any type will interact, but generally I prefer pwBPD over other prosocials because most of what pwBPD do and say makes sense to me - even the irrational things are done out of a fear of or response to being abandoned, and handling that poorly is something I entirely understand and relate to. Anecdotally, my current partner and my most recent ex (both of whom have BPD) also said that they far, far preferred pwASPD to prosocials because of how we sometimes stablize their fear of being abandoned. I was one of the only people they ever believed when they asked if they were leaving and I said "why and where tf would I go anyway".

Again, this is VERY personal and anecdotal, but I've seen asks in the askbox before that said some similar stuff, so I'm sure I'm not the only one who relates to at least some of this.

Plain text below the cut:

So I can only offer my anecdotal answer to this, but I've had very polarized responses to people with BPD. Anything I say about how my ASPD affects the person with BPD I'm speaking of has been directly told to me by that person, so I am not just assuming.

On the one hand, my partner has BPD and it makes our relationship much more functional on my end than it would with me being with someone without it. That's because my *very* limited empathy that comes with him being an Exception pairs very well with the more intense emotions a pwBPD feels. Since my empathy is limited, I am not overwhelmed by the intensity of his emotions the way his exes often were. And, since his emotions are so intense, I can actually pick up on many of those emotions even with the blunted empathy. They're quiet pings on my radar, but they're there.

Further, my desire to only be around an extremely limited number of people saves him a lot of grief because his favorite person is *very* rarely interested in talking to anyone but him and a couple other close friends. The more limited the pool of people I have deep and meaningful relationships with, the less threatened he feels with me being his favorite person. Whilst he couldn't and wouldn't push someone to barely talk to anyone but him as that would be extremely abusive, me wanting to limit my interactions with people helps ease that anxiety a lot. It very much limits how much he worries that I will abandon him for someone else.

Meanwhile, the intensity of his attachment to me, while annoying during a flare, is actually something I enjoy. It's good for the ASPD unstable self-worth to know he values me that highly, and being his FP helps my brain accept that he genuinely does value me and is not using me, because I know the "hidden motivation" for him wanting me around that my ASPD convinces me everyone has. It's also one of the most stable attachments to me that anyone has had, mainly because I have very little time to detach since we do spend so much time together. Besides with my alters, it's the closest to normal love I've ever felt.

Meanwhile, the intensity of his attachment to me, while annoying during a flare, is actually something I enjoy. It's good for the ASPD unstable self-worth to know he values me that highly, and being his FP helps my brain accept that he genuinely does value me and is not using me, because I know the "hidden motivation" for him wanting me around that my ASPD convinces me everyone has. It's also one of the most stable attachments to me that anyone has had, mainly because I have very little time to detach since we do spend so much time together. Besides with my alters, it's the closest to normal love I've ever felt.

Even for my Exceptions though, there are definitely issues between a pwBPD and a pwASPD. BPD splits can *really* flare my symptoms - both the "positive" and "negative" splits. When it's the type of split where he gets hyper-attached and needs a lot of attention out of nowhere, I can get tired easily with this, especially because just saying (and meaning) that I'm not going to leave is not good enough. It makes me want to interact less when he is obsessively trying to interact more. The types of splits where a pwBPD pushes someone away to avoid being left can be especially problematic for both people involved, as very often the pwASPD will essentially go "okay, bye then" and detach. That can be a lot for pwBPD to deal with, even though we're sometimes willing to go back on that. I have to stop myself when my partner gets in that kind of split to keep from "calling his bluff" so to speak, because that will worsen things for him.

In both romantic and platonic relationships, pwBPD and pwASPD can end up very toxic for each other, as some pwBPD will follow pwASPD into destructive situations and with our issues with regard for others' wellbeing, we may not always stop you. In fact, sometimes it's proof to us that you actually DO care about us, which, of course, is messed up for everyone involved.

That said, the more destructive behaviors pwBPD sometimes struggle with are VERY unlikely to surprise or scare a pwASPD. "Oh, you got freaked out and threw something, but you didn't throw it at me or break anything of mine? Ok, cool. What a mood. No, why tf would I leave you over that? I did that like 2 days ago. You're chill now right? Ok let's go get Taco Bell." From what my partner has told me, this can (and has) stop an episode in it's tracks because when the destructive behavior that is meant to push me away doesn't even make me blink twice and I'm still entirely cool with him, it sometimes completely reassures him that I'm not going anywhere and we can move on.

It can go either or both ways, depending on the day, on how a pwASPD and a pwBPD in close relationships of any type will interact, but generally I prefer pwBPD over other prosocials because most of what pwBPD do and say makes sense to me - even the irrational things are done out of a fear of or response to being abandoned, and handling that poorly is something I entirely understand and relate to. Anecdotally, my current partner and my most recent ex (both of whom have BPD) also said that they far, far preferred pwASPD to prosocials because of how we sometimes stablize their fear of being abandoned. I was one of the only people they ever believed when they asked if they were leaving and I said "why and where tf would I go anyway".

Again, this is VERY personal and anecdotal, but I've seen asks in the askbox before that said some similar stuff, so I'm sure I'm not the only one who relates to at least some of this.

[velvetvexations]

RE: Lovecraft's racism

I don't have anything meaningful to add, just some personal anecdotes.

I started reading Lovecraft from some selected works books, and I didn't see any issue for most of it. I didn't know his reputation, and also I am European so race is not something that I am actively aware about (because POC here are extremely rare and mostly are rich tourists and exchange students rather than minorities). Up until he described Inuits as "dwarfish creatures who call themselves Eskimos".

Later I have read complete collections of his works and saw some absolutely horrific racist sentiments, and also now that I am tumblr-level socialist I can see all problematic innuendos in selected works as well, so it's in no way defense of Lovecraft. Just my addition.

P.S.: I also think that people calling Lovecraft exceptionally racist just didn't read a lot of popular USAmerican fiction of the time. Burroughs is IMO worse, or at least more obvious about it.

P.P.S.: There was a popular joke some time ago like "Lovecraft would go insane if he met me" that was made by white neurodivergent queer people, and I feel that it's weirdly tone deaf. We don't know Lovecraft's opinion on homosexuality or transgenderism, at all. He probably was at least somewhat homophobic considering times, but we just can't prove that he wouldn't have changed his mind if presented with science-based arguments, and autism is definitely not what he considered scary mental illnesses. His entire deal was being racist, not just generally bad person.

P.P.P.S. (wow): Also, not enough people talk about him describing political system of Great Race of Yig (or whatever they are called) as "a mix of socialism and fascism"

Actually, we DO know how he felt about queer people!

From a letter to J. Vernon Shea:

I guess it is true that homosexuality is a rare theme for novels—partly because public attention was seldom called to it (except briefly during the Wilde period) until a decade ago, & partly because any literary use of it always incurs the peril of legal censorship. As a matter of fact—although of course I always knew that paederasty was a disgusting custom of many ancient nations—I never heard of homosexuality as an actual instinct till I was over thirty…which beats your record! It is possible, I think that this perversion occurs more frequently in some periods than in others—owing to obscure biological & psychological causes. Decadent ages—when psychology is unsettled—seem to favour it. Of course—in ancient times the extent of the practice of paederasty (as a custom which most simply accepted blindly, without any special inclination) cannot be taken as any measure of the extent of actual psychological perversion. Another thing—many nowadays overlook the fact that there are always distinctly effeminate types which are most distinctly not homosexual. I don’t know how psychology explains them, but we all know the sort of damned sissy who plays with girls & who—when he grows up—is a chronic “cake-eater”, hanging around girls, doting on dances, acquiring certain feminine mannerisms, intonations, & tastes, & yet never having even the slightest perversion of erotic inclinations.

Even worse, from a letter to James F. Morton:

Have you seen that precious sissy that I met in Cleveland? Belknap says he’s hit the big town, and that he’s had some conversation with him. When I saw that marcelled what is it I don’t know whether to kiss it or kill it! It used to sit cross-legged on the floor at Elgin’s and gaze soulfully upward. It didn’t like me and Galpin—too horrid, rough and mannish for it!

The idea that this fucking dweep saw himself as the alpha male in the room is dadgum hilarious.

And yet, R. H. Barlow and Samuel Loveman (again) were gay. Did Lovecraft know? He met the aforementioned "precious sissy" at a gathering Loveman had taken him to. R. H. Barlow wrote a story lost to us called "I Hate Queers" which Lovecraft read that certainly sounds psychologically revealing, but his brief commentary on it really tells us nothing about the content and if it made Barlow's closet more transparent or not.

Derleth said Lovecraft "seemed" to be unaware they were gay, but what the fuck does that asshole know? Lovecraft personally explained the ideas behind his stories to him and he still fucked up the Mythos for decades with his bullshit. On the other hand, Derleth was bisexual himself, and I don't know how Lovecraft couldn't have picked up on it from this letter he sent him:

I can understand your detestation of sex irregularities in life as violations of harmony and I here fully agree with you. I had previously misunderstood you to mean protestation from a basis of morals, and on this basis I would have stood squarely opposed to you. I have known and still know many people who are sexually irregular, both homosexual men and women, and except for three cases out of perhaps 21, I have always found these people highly intellectual, fully aware of what they were doing, and in all cases quite helpless. Speaking perspectively and in the abstract, I could as easily conceive myself entering upon a monogamous homosexual relation as a heterosexual one—though perhaps practice would change that point of view. To quibble about mere words, I should not say that perverts necessarily lived inartistically.

As to if Lovecraft would have accepted scientific evidence in favor of queer validity, maybe. He was becoming a full-blown Actual Communist towards the very end of his life and his racial views, while still preferring to keep cultures separate, had gotten to the point where he believed a Chinese baby raised by White parents would be essentially the same as a White person, which is, uh, technically progress?

[darklinaforever]

https://www.tumblr.com/darklinaforever/755917759191334912/i-always-wonder-what-exactly-the-accusation-about?source=share

There's nothing wrong with loving a couple of problematic couples. But you literally have ALL the couples like - pedophilia, violence against women, incest, zoophilia and so on. ALL of them. So yes, it's weird and creepy.

I've already explained why it's bullshit to say that I like ships specifically related to women being abused. I'm not going to bother repeating a post that you have obviously already read, proving to me that you have no form of understanding...

Literally, you repeating something I've already taken apart, specifically in this same post that I did and you fired me ! 😂

This level of stupidity is crazy...

Once again, if you think that Sessrin, Daemyra maybe for you, and Sareth are pedophilia you also have a problem understanding the subject through the historical context, and the importance of the symbolic...

Sebaciel is yet another story for me personally, see here :

And again, if you look at Planet of the Apes and see the apes involved as pure beasts /animals when they literally have human consciousness and talk, there is also a problem. Not only that but you also obviously didn't understand the message of this story.

Or maybe you're telling me about Catwin ? Which would be even more stupid...

And then, once again for incest, I still don't see how it's weird ?

Literally go after those who write these problematic romances instead of going after those who appreciate work that is supposed to be appreciated.

How loving an incestuous fictional romance is weird in 2024 ? It's fiction. Not reality. Do you understand the difference or not ?

Especially in a historical fantasy context where the question doesn't even really matter ?

And here I am talking about the Targaryens. Feudal context where incestuous unions were common and in addition this particular family has magical blood ? You need to relax a little.

As for Cesare & Lucrezia, once again it is literally the screenwriters who wrote this romance made to be appreciated and which in any case has either an open ending or an unhappy ending depending on the version ?

The incest trope is as old as enemies to lovers. Another form of prohibition for the spectator which stimulates interest.

Again, most of these ships are very very popular. So everyone who ships this is weird and creepy to you ?

Or is it more morally appropriate to love some and not others in your opinion ? Like, don't you have the right to like all these dynamics at the same time ? There's an appropriate number of problematic categories to like in fiction perhaps ?

Wtf what is this stupid logic ?

Besides, liking this kind of problematic dynamic doesn't stop me from liking healthy dynamic. 😂

Literally, these are things that I have already more or less explained here :

But you make me want even more to ship problematic things, just to annoy you in your visibly meaningless life for enjoying coming to annoy me on a subject as stupid as judging me for liking fictional ships...

So... for a little free anecdote, I like the mother-son relationship between Paul and Jessica, but I admit that because of the chemistry of the actors I ship it a little. Hey, add that to the list of things that make me weird and creepy, it's a gift ! 😉😚

Anyway, you really don't seem to be able to distinguish between fiction and reality anon. I advise you to cultivate yourself a little, it might help you.

[flippyspoon]

hello i'm your problematic moot- dedicated to hijacking your posts with personal anecdotes.

[hazyaltcare]

I've been wondering, do people not use the term "headmate" anymore, and if so, why? I used to see it go by all the time in system related posts and now that I've been realizing might be part of a system myself (still learning the terminology though) I think it might describe like. The other parts of me better than "alters" but if it's a problematic term I don't want to use it? I'm still very new to all this and I've been nervous to look into it because I've been in denial about it for a long time. If you can't answer that's OK! I'm able to do my own research too, it's just something I realized when I noticed I never see the term anymore it seems.

Hello, thank you for the ask!

Many people still use the terms "headmate" - but I do agree with you, it is rarer nowadays to see people using "headmate" as a catch-all. Nowadays, I think the common catch-all is "system member". It does not mean the word "headmate" has become offensive - it just means the plural internet users we see prefer other terms nowadays. I think it's a linguistic shift akin to English-speaking people using "genderqueer" as an umbrella term in the 1990s and 2000s, and "nonbinary" in 2010s and 2020s.

This is anecdotal, but I remember, just a few years ago, it was seen as more polite to use "headmate" as a catch-all in plural communities. Why? Because "headmate" is considered more neutral than "alter/part" (which have medical connotations) or "soulbond" (which have spiritual connotations). The use of "headmate" is not a jab against people who are more medical or spiritual, but it is usually preferred in large spaces where we can't know who uses which terms. It's like people using "they/them" as a default in queer/LGBTQIA+ spaces - it's polite, but of course, not every person prefer it individually.

(also, the medical and spiritual are not necessarily separate for many plurals)

Neither of the above terms is "problematic" - the only time it's problematic is if you use a term for someone, when they already said they don't want it used on them.

It all comes down to personal preference - what feels right to you (all).

Any plural is allowed to have label preferences. Some collectives can prefer "plural", some "multiple", some "system", others "collective", others prefer a combination (like "plural system"), and more. Same as individuals. Some prefer "system member", others prefer "part", some prefer "soulbond", others use more than one for themselves. Some prefer being called "you", others "you&" or "you+", etc.

(For example, I myself prefer "system member", "headmate", and "walk-in".)

So yes, you are allowed to prefer the term "headmate" over "alter". Anyone is.

If you want some plural resources that are inclusive of all more-than-one experiences, morethanone.info and healthymultiplicity.com are good places to start.

Best of luck and take care of yourself/yourselves in your discovery ❤️

Mod Vintage 🪞(DH)